#at least this season they're not doing as well but we're only three games in so we'll have to see what happens

[rolandkaros]

2, 25, 36, 38 for the football ask game! 🩵

2. what team do you hate the most?

i feel like the obvious answer is spurs, but honestly i don't really hate them that much other than for The Bit™. in terms of a team i actually hate, chelsea is definitely up there, since for a while they were always raining on our parade in both the prem and wsl. but a more niche answer would be the portland thorns bc they desperately need to be knocked down a few pegs but no one has been able to do so and it irks the fuck out of me that they're still as good as they are. let them suffer! every other nwsl team has had at least one absolute stinker of a season. down with the thorns 😤

25. what position would/do you play if you were/are a footballer?

when i played i usually defaulted to defense, but by the time i quit i had played at least once in pretty much every position (including keeper, which was lowkey a disaster but i was somehow the best option on the team). i was probably best at defense (usually rb) but sometimes would push up to winger bc my only real weapons were that i was speedy and could shoot lol.

36. who was your first favorite player?

basic answer i know but i was a young american girl who played football in the early 2010s so obviously it was alex morgan 😭 i had the pink headband and everything, chose the number 31 because 13 was already taken. i stopped being a fan of hers for a while but i actually like her new role on the team so i've come to appreciate her again <3

38. why/how did you start liking football?

i played when i was young, maybe ages...like 7 - 13 or so? vague estimate. i played a lot of sports as A Youth™ but my parents made me pick one to stick with, and i chose football bc i have have awful hand eye coordination (rules out softball) i hated standing still (rules out ballet) and i found swimming to be boring (rules out swimming). my dad started showing me videos of the uswnt leading up to the 2011 wwc, and from there it all sort of snowballed!

[thescarletnargacuga]

Maybe something spooky for September?

Like... Genuine fear.

Caine makes a new adventure for the gang, but it ends up taking in things that are... Just too real...

P.s: Showtime?

-that one paper bird

A/N: spooky season is upon us! Special thanks to @13piecebucket for helping me brainstorm this!!

NIGHTMARE'S END

A DIGITAL CIRCUS ONESHOT

WARNING: body horror, swearing,

~~~

"Welcome back, adventurers!" Caine hovered over the Circus cast. "Hope you had fun today!"

The group looked amongst themselves with collective disinterest. Pomni spoke up. "Actually, Caine, this one was a bit...meh."

Caine was visibly taken aback.

"Yeah, we got bored more than half way through." Jax agreed. "The cartoon physics and faceless NPCs are a bit old hat at this point."

"What he means is we think more realism would suit the adventures better." Pomni corrected. "The immersion still isn't that immersive."

"Doesn't help that we all look like cartoon characters." Gangle quietly added.

Caine rapped his fingers against the shaft of his cane. "Very well. If realism is what you want, then realism is what you'll get. At least, to the best of my ability. Rest up! Tomorrow will be a big one!" He blips away.

"You three should be ashamed of yourselves." Ragatha scolded. "I'm sure he's already doing all he can."

"I don't really care, I was just going along with Pomni." Jax put his hands in his pockets and walked away.

"Hey!" Pomni stomped her foot. "It was ZOOBLE'S idea we say something!"

"Don't drag me into this. I just said the adventure was stupid. All of them are." Zooble said as they walked away.

Pomni groaned. "Whatever. Guess we'll have a real adventure tomorrow. See how that turns out." She went to bed almost immediately, sleep called to her like never before. Her one escape from this digital nightmare.

~

Pomni woke to the smell of smoke. She winced as she sat up on a hard, uncomfortable surface. She blinked, finding herself in a small, dark room that has no familiar shapes. "Huh...? Why am I not in my-!!" She gaped at the sight of a smoldering computer atop a desk next to her.

Pomni stood to get a closer look. The electronic remains glowed faintly in the only light source in the room, a street lamp coming through a half shaded window. She jumped when she heard shuffling behind her.

Five figures of varying size stand up from the floor, the voices familiar. "Ugh, my head." "Where are we?" "Why is it so dark?"

"Guys?" Pomni asked. "What's happening? OH MY GOSH!" She pointed at a tall man with blond hair, staring right at her. The man turned to see what Pomni was pointing at.

"What? What is it?"

"Kinger?" Pomni couldn't believe it. She looked at the other people in the room. Humans. All of them. She looked at her own hands. Human hands with five fingers splayed out in front of her. "We're...we- no, this isn't possible. I'm dreaming! I have to be. I fell asleep and woke up here! I-"

Pomni froze when an androgenous person with pink hair slapped her across the face. "Did that feel real?"

Pomni felt her face. "OW! That was uncalled for! I really felt that. Oh my god." She looked back at the destroyed computer. "Caine...he must of blown all the hardware trying to make the game more real. I didn't think he'd... oh no."

"WHO CARES! WE'RE OUT!!" Celebrate a young man with a huge grin.

"Are we really sure? Really really?" A woman with red curls asked.

"Fuck if I know." The person with pink hair stopped and seemed stunned by they're own ability to curse. "Holy shit." They gasped, a huge smile growing on their face. "ASS! TITS! DICK! CUNT! SHIT! MOTHERFUCKER!"

"Do you really need to shout?" A timid woman asked, covering her ears.

"YES, I DO! WE'RE OUT!!"

~

The six made their way out of the empty office building. Cool night air grazed their faces as they took in their surroundings. They were in a town. A real town with streetlights and parked cars and a distant blinking traffic light. The street was lined with closed businesses. Not another soul in sight.

"What time do you think it is?" The timid woman asked.

"There!" The woman with red curls pointed at a scrolling LED sign in front of a bank. "3:00 am. No wonder things are so quiet. What do we do now? It's been so long... I don't even remember where we are."

"I guess we walk until we find somebody." Pomni shrugged. "There's gotta be at least a cop or something out at this hour."

"Oh yeah, and what do we tell them? Help, police! We've been kidnapped by a sentient AI and we just got away! Yeah, I bet that'll go over real well." The young man with the wide grin snarked.

"They could at least help us get out bearings." Pomni said.

They walked past quiet buildings, feeling a bit out of place on the empty street. Eventually, finding a sign that said Welcome to Brook Haven, the loveliest place in Maine.

"Well, that's a start." Said the woman with the curls. "Do you remember much about Maine, Pomni?"

"I don't think so, but I'm sure if we keep looking, we'll find someone who does. And, you don't have to keep calling me Pomni. My name is...my name..."

Everyone stopped.

Pomni's eyes widened as she searched her head. "I don't remember...I should remember. Right? Do any of you remember??"

"Oh no! You don't think the mind wipe was permanent, do you??" Panicked the timid woman.

"I don't know!" Pomni clutched her head and started to pace. She faced a store window and her blood went cold. Before her wasn't the reflection of a human woman, but of a cartoonish jester staring wide eyed at her. Pomni could feel the air in her lungs cease. "We're still in the game."

The shrill scream of a siren tore through the night. Everyone covered their ears, but they could still feel the siren vibrating their very beings. A billowing thick grey fog rolled into the streets. It cloaked everything from sight, the town being swallowed whole.

The group backed up against one another, being surrounded by the intense fog. Pomni was back to back with the tall blonde man, but she nearly fell backwards when he was violently pulled into the mist. "Kinger!"

Next was Ragatha. Something in the mist grabbed her leg and she was dragged off screaming. Then Gangle. Then Zooble.

"Screw this!" Jax ran off in a random direction, but didn't get far before he too screamed bloody murder.

Pomni was left alone in the quickly shrinking pocket of visibility. Her heart pounded. The only place left to go was the store behind her. She tried the door. Locked. She banged on the window. It held firm.

Clicking and skittering came from the fog. Creatures beyond her sight and comprehension were moving about, taunting her. A thorned tentacle whipped out at Pomni, but she ducked and it smashed through the store window.

Thinking quickly, Pomni vaulted through the broken window and made a run for it. Creatures screeching and crashing through the building behind her as fog poured in.

As she ran through a back door and down an alley, she saw a leas pipe sticking out of a dumpster. She grabbed it and kept running.

A clawed hand dug into the ground next to her and a black creature with colorful eyes lunged at Pomni. She batted at the creature as hard as she could, bursting it's bright pink eye. It screamed and backed away.

Pomni kept running, zig zagging down semi clear streets. Something with wings swooped down at her and she tuck and rolled. The flying abstraction crash landed where she had been. She didn't give it a chance to strike again, she beat it over the head with her pipe until it stopped thrashing.

"What the FUCK is all of this!?" Pomni growled and kept moving as more moving shadows in the mist closed in on her. She needed to get indoors. She ran until a large brick building was in sight. The sign out front read: Town Hall.

Pomni threw herself through the double front doors and slammed them shut behind her. She leaned back against the doors, panting and gasping for air. She was sweating, her legs shook with fatigue. She still felt real, even if she knew the truth.

"You're still alive. Good." Caine's voice echoed through the building.

"CAINE!? CAINE, YOU BASTARD! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THE OTHERS!!"

"Such language. And you all wonder why the censor is so necessary. You can't control your tongues."

"WHERE ARE THE OTHERS??" Pomni screamed as she marched down the hall, following the source of Caine's voice down one hall and then the next.

"Let's not worry about them. You're the only one who made it this far. The rest have failed."

"Failed? YOU DON'T FAIL AN ADVENTURE!"

"In a realistic one, you do. In real life, there are clear cut winners and losers. Tell me, which one are you?"

Pomni could hear the grin in his condescending tone. "Whichever gets this over with." She gripped her pipe harder.

Caine's laughter filled the halls. "A winner, then? That remains to be seen."

Pomni followed the voice to a set of grand wood doors. A Mayor's Office plague on the wall. She kicked open the doors, ready to swing. There were no monsters, no mist. Caine was at the end of the large room by the desk. His back was to her, looking out the large windows. "Beautiful, isn't it? Dare I say, this town has been my greatest creation."

"You lied! You made us believe we were out! I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!" Pomni shouted as she marched forward.

"Lied?" Caine turned towards Pomni. "I gave you exactly what you wanted. Realism. I made it so real, I even found a purpose for the old exit." He chuckled. "It was amusing seeing all of you celebrate. Shame the fun had to be spoiled." His body jerked as he stepped forward.

Pomni stopped, holding her pipe in front of her. She watched in horror as Caine's chest started to split apart, black teeth folding out at her. His arms lengthened and bent at unnatural angles. "What- what's happening?"

"The most realistic part..." His voice deepened and garbled. "Fear." His eyes split apart and changed colors. His suit tore and his spin jutted out with spikes. Her grew and grew in height, his teeth growing sharp and his jaw extended to the ceiling. Multiple arms broke the floor apart as he approached. "Are...you...afraid?"

Pomni brought the pipe back like a bat. "Terrified. But I'm still going to kick your ass." She charged without hesitation, war in her eyes. Caine's monstrous form bared down on her. She struck out at the eye in the center of his gaping jaw.

The pipe's collision creates a spark bright enough to blind Pomni. The whole room goes white. She feels weightless, like she was in the void again. Then, in a near instant, she fell on her back. When the light fades, she's back in the Circus. The obnoxiously saturated bright colors sting her eyes.

Around are the cast members, all in varying states of shock. Zooble stays on the ground, staring at the vaulted ceiling and trembling. Gangle is in hysterics, muttering and whimpering to herself while crying uncontrollably. Kinger is pale and sitting in the fetal position, his eyes wider and more bloodshot than normal. Ragatha is stone cold silent and unmoving, holding her head in her hands.

Jax Is the only one other than Pomni to get to his feet. "That wasn't so- bleeeeegh!" He doubles over and vomits.

Pomni stares at her gloved hands, already missing her realistic skin. A slow clap gets her attention. She turns to see Caine hovering, lowering himself to her level.

"Well done, Pomni. Well done, indeed. You are today's winner. Being the only one to successfully find and defeat me. You faced fear and conquered it. How's that for realism?"

"Wait... If at least one of us had to find and defeat you... What if none of us did?" Pomni asked.

Caine smiled and shrugged. "Guess we'll never know. So, 1-10?"

The cast stayed where they were, unresponsive. Pomni smiled at Caine. "Ten. Solid ten. That was the biggest thrill I've had yet."

"Yet." Caine's grin widened.

~~~

HAPPY SPOOKY SEASON, EVERYONE! 🎃💀🔮🕷️🦇

[thefirstknife]

Is there any word on if episodes will stay, yet? Because so far they basically seem like the exact same thing as seasons except more of the story is time-gated and they have some additional rewards for the season pass, so I'm expecting they'll play into the same FOMO: The Game model to try and make sure players don't quit now that the Light/Dark saga ended...

So far nothing has been said about whether they're staying past a year or not. I wish they would tell us.

Personally I enjoy this "act" structure. For now ofc, it's way too early to make a full judgement. I know everyone is right now screaming about time-gating, but I find it more relaxing to play this way. Three weeks of content, three weeks of waiting during which I can do something else or catch up with existing content. This is obviously here to prolong engagement so people don't cram all content in a month and dip for the next three months until the new episode, but I think it not only gives us some extra time to come and go, but it also gives breaks to devs. At least I hope it does.

As for fomo... well. Yeah. It's an MMO. Live service. Whatever we're calling them these days. The company wants us to keep playing. I don't really understand why people keep bringing that up, it's been a thing for longer than Destiny has existed. We knew this going in, no matter what way episodes are constructed, we'd be enticed to play and then wait for new content. If it's like a season, we'd be in a 9 week cycle of weekly updates without pause and then 2 months of no updates until the next episode when you'd be expected to return to keep playing. Right now, at least, we can take breaks between acts.

But yes, at the end of the day, the goal is to keep us engaged and to get us to keep coming back. And it's easier to get people to come back in smaller chunks than to get them to return after they've stopped playing for 2 months. Or at least that's how it is in theory! We'll see how it goes. I enjoy it for personal reasons because it allows for more breaks.

[accirax]

initial thoughts on DCAS episode 11

oh my god

i had already guessed that Alec was lying (much like Jake did), but this was a really nice explanatory touch! Alec and Riya's friendship is, as usual, one of the season highlights for me.

would've been a lot more interesting if the campers could have chosen their own partners in one way or another, imo, but that would definitely eat up a lot of time in an already packed episode. plus, some pairings (like Connor and Riya) probably couldn't have happened this way, given how Riya wound up reacting to Connor.

"alright Fiore, here's how we prevent you from going home this week," one could say.

i was SO worried that Alec was going to have another confessional at some point being like "lol i was testing my acting skills on Fiore too" but he DIDN'T. which means this is CANON. THE ADOPTION IS BACK ON!!!!!!!!

okay, i actually love the decision to pair Hunter and Grett together here. both of them are the "very flawed but kinda mistreated partner of their appearances-obsessed date," so it makes sense that Hunter could give Grett a good perspective on this. also, is it just me, or did they rework Hunter's personality in this episode to be more like S2? i liked it.

i'm going to put every Fiore and Alec moment in this post and you can't stop me. i am initially thinking about them.

"joke's on you fucker i didn't teach her literally any of this. she's just built different."

as much as i enjoy Alec appreciating his daughter's sass, this does seem like a pretty radical heel turn from "i only voted Connor out of this game because it was what was best for him." i guess maybe spending time with Riya and the other villains has caused Alec to fall further off the deep end/forget about Connor's genuinely nice qualities...? or it's inconsistency between different writers, who knows.

i am 0% a jul(?) shipper, but, damn, the jul shippers were eating well this episode.

Yul is such an interesting little guy.

James flexing his character arc, we love to see it.

WHAT IS IT WITH THE CYAN WOMEN AND SECRETLY BEING JACKED????

society..... it's becoming more utopian........

see, this is why i didn't think Tess would be the one to return to the game.

Aiden is such a hater, i love him. but, overall, i agree with Lake. we're definitely sowing the seeds for a Jake redemption(/winner?) arc and a heroes' reunion.

Riya, finally finishing what she started in S2 of making the gays fall off cliffs.

villains are so fun. i love villains.

THE SOFT DAD SMILE IS BACK :D

ooh, nice callback.

this is an objectively funny screenshot. why does Alec yell like that

what a surprising outcome! (/s /lh)

:,) <3

i wish Aiden and James had more of an opportunity to talk during this episode :/ it's fine, though-- i think that James and Lake's characters were used more effectively this way.

they're getting back together after this trust me guys i'm disventure camp

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY

they truly are family now. i love it.

"not that bad" is a weird way to describe your would-be crush.

this will be a fun scene! idk which episode "Saturday" will be, though. both because idk how many days will pass in any given episode and also bc i don't recall which day today is in canon.

i do wonder what evil Gabby is doing here. i guess maybe it'll just be the side of Gabby that wants to run with the villains alliance for power vs the side that wants to follow Ellie's advice? that seems kind of weird. maybe it'll be more like the side that wants to go mad with power on the revenge quest vs Gabby's more rational and strategic side? either way, strange cliffhanger.

can't we just have everyone here... always... all the time...? no? okay :( well, it was still really nice to get the whole gang back together for this episode. i'll look forward to seeing them again in the finale.

and, hey, Connor's back in the game now! and he can't be eliminated next episode, at least. are there going to be three players with immunity...? that could get spicy. we'll see how the heroes and villains smack down when the next real elimination rolls around. back up to ten to nine again... see you next time!

[remidyal]

Game Changer Season 6 episodes, ranked by my personal enjoyment

Because I also enjoy arbitrarily ranking things! If you disagree... I mean, that's fine? I liked every episode this season, just.. I liked some episodes better than others. I'm grouping the Ratfish episodes together, so we've got eight entries. Spoilers for, um, every game changer episode this season, obviously.

#8 Pencils Down:

I'm not as into drawings and all as I am a lot of the other stuff, though this was probably the most wholesome episode of this season. I'm, naturally, opposed to wholesomeness too.

Favorite bit:

The proposed tattoos were a lot of fun.

#7 Ratfish (parts 1 and 2):

I think this one got hurt for me by a couple things - I know absolutely nothing about the show they're mimicking, unlike Survivor or the Bachelor, and I did not particularly enjoy anything directly to do with the Ratfish or understand why I should care about his opinions and arbitrary decisions. I assumed that the cast would recognize who this person was and we'd get some kind of payoff there, but nope. Everything just between the cast was great, though.

Favorite bit:

Honestly there's a ton of quick moments to choose from here, but I think my favorite is Brennan incorrectly going for the seat marked Brennan Lee Mulligan at the end.

#6 The Newlyweb Game:

This one was gentle good fun, I enjoyed everyone involved, there were just more standout moments in some of the later episodes on this list. This is fighting with Pencils Down for the most wholesome episode, or at least the one that would least fit into a saw trap. In spite of that this would be the episode all time of Game Changer I would least be willing to be on, even in the world where I'm not firmly aroace and have a partner - I think I would sooner light myself on fire than let someone I know have full access to my phone.

Favorite bit:

Revealing how many unread emails people had and the shock and judgement at totally reasonable numbers, as someone with around forty thousand unread emails in my primary gmail account dating back to 2004.

#5 Bingo

We're really into tough competition now! I loved this episode, and that it somehow turned into a tormenting Brennan episode even though he wasn't even supposed to be there. This was obviously slightly rigged so that the players in the third set of Bingo were most likely to win (and it was actually impossible for the people on stage) but honestly pulling it off was so good.

Favorite Bit:

I mean, it's the reveal to Trapp and everyone of the existence of the third group of course.

#4 Second Place

First, I know that for meta reasons this should be second, but it's not. Oh well. Sam alleges that this episode wasn't intentionally meant to torment Brennan; I do not believe Sam's lies. Everyone in the world saw the twist at the end coming and it's still funny.

Favorite bit:

Ally declaring that Brennan can ring the gong the loudest and Brennan's brain breaking harder than anything that Sam had actually planned.

#3 Sam Says 3

I can't believe this one's only third. If this is how Sam Says ends - and I have a hard time seeing how a fourth edition can escalate, even outside of the BTS claiming that they see three times as the limit for the same premise most of the time - then what an ending. I'm not sure any other game concept has managed to make the players so consistently tricked. My only critique of it is that I think I like the first couple times at this well just a little bit more, with nothing in this quite matching Ally flying to New York or the Something We'll Have To Bleep energy for me.

Favorite Bit:

It's hard to top the fake Sam body dropping from the ceiling.

#2 Beat the Buzzer

Every episode with the Seven cast is always incredible, and production-wise this seems like the craziest thing they've ever pulled off. Any episode where they break out of just the stage is always good, and I think this is the most extensive use of that they've ever done. Incredible variety, great cameos from Aabria and Persephone, complete manic energy from all three contestants. A+ episode.

Favorite Bit:

There's so much here, but I think mine as someone who worked as a pizza delivery driver was the entire exchange where Rehka just ends up getting the bag with the buzzer and a bunch of loose oreos. Was production prepared with everything that was on that menu or would they have actually ordered breadsticks somewhere to use as a prop?

#1 Deja Vu

Time loop stuff is always a favorite of mine, and pulling one off as an episode is ALREADY a great premise before you even get into all of the other cast and the editing. (Shout out to Siobhan Thompson for being in exactly two Game Changer episodes and them being this one and Escape the Green Room; guess we know what pepper rating she puts down.) Great chemistry between the cast, a truly deranged display from Sam, and of course the Wenis. Genuinely the WEIRDEST episode of the season, too, always a good sign.

It's a shame they already repeated the premise too much to do a follow up to this one...

Favorite Bit(s):

I'm doing two for this one because it's my list and I can.

"This isn't fucking Um, Actually!" with sincere righteous anger.

Everything to do with Zac as Grant, most of all how easy it would have been to just make that Zac as Zac.

[neptune-scythe]

thinking about Buck's relationship with Hen and how he probably gravitated towards her over everyone else when he first joined the 118 because she reminds him of Maddie.

like obviously they are very different people, but they're probably around the same age, both strong but in a very nurturing and protective way. and it is safe to say Maddie is the only meaningful relationship in Buck's life until the 118, but at that point he hasn't seen or heard from her in two or three years, so he probably (subconsciously or not) gravitated toward Hen to fill that void.

And Hen fills that position in her own way that's very different from Maddie but still giving sibling energy. which yes she is just naturally a very nurturing person and very protective of her friends and family, but she has a special genre of protectiveness and love for Buck; even as early as the first episode when she's the only one that says anything to him after he gets fired. which if I'm remembering correctly she says something like "we're all sad to see you go" but like ... she's the only one that actually says so to him.

I'm sure there's other instances in seasons 1 and 2 that I'm forgetting (tho tbh that scene in season 1 when they're playing video games is just so sibling coded it's ridiculous in all the good ways), but especially the whole first half of season 3 really highlights their bond.

when everyone is talking about how Buck is moping around his apartment and not doing anything and how he needs to get back to living his life, Hen is the only one who is advocating for him; which is not at all to say the others were attacking him or anything like that, but they did disagree with his choices and Hen was at the least trying to get the other's to see his perspective more and sympathize.

and after the tsunami, the way they hold onto each other

y'all

makes me so feral

but it's the way Chim just had one hand on Buck's arm and Buck was just sort of vaguely holding onto his arm too, but then Hen comes in with both arms around him, and Buck holds her arm with both hands and is low-key resting like his entire body's weight on her because she's the only one he can really lean on in that way because he and Chim aren't really that close at that point and he's always subconsciously or consciously trying to prove himself to Bobby and make him proud and Eddie is paying attention to Chrisopher and Buck's had to be strong for everyone all day and then Hen is there and she catches him and supports him and he just lets her because he doesn't have to pretend around her and jqndkdnskfjskjfksjfkdd

anyway

but then how she's the only one who welcomes him back on his first day and gets him a cupcake that "bleeds when you cut it" and is just being so casual and normal about him being back and the lawsuit and the blood thinners like it's just any other day and no biggie when everyone else is acting differently towards him in some capacity, mostly negatively (or at least he perceived it as negative).

and the way Hen was the one that convinced Bobby to let Buck out on calls, and was like the first person to just drop the whole lawsuit issue and be like nah it's whatever's welcome back bro

and several smaller instances in later seasons as well,

their conversation in the ambulance in Buck Begins "if you guys hadn't come in when you did" "but we did, and we always will"

Buck going to Hen over literally everyone else in his life including Maddie and Eddie for advice about the sperm donor situation

when they went to the Renaissance faire together with Denny??? mad sibling energy there like that was actually insane

the very specific way that Buck greets her in the hospital after the coma. idk I could be trippin bout that one but its just so soft and completely different from how he greets everyone else and more in line with how he is around Maddie in that scene and when they get back to his appartment

Hen wiping the blood off Buck's face when she's literally concussed and in much worse shape than him and trapped in an ambulance about to fall off an overpass girlie was insane for that

and yeah we all knew Buck was gay, but it's the way Hen knew ... which, gaydar canonically exists among the gays and I can sniff em out a mile away, but I'm just choosing to call that the fact that Buck is Hen's lil brother and she simply knows him in ways no one else does

anyway they are simply siblings and they are so special to me and it's making my brain go feral it's all I can think about I will be posting about it for days just you wait

[spacecadet-ticklesinspace]

Tickletober Day 14: Loose

Fandom: NCIS

Pairing: Dinozzo and McGee (platonic)

Summary: High stakes lead to an interesting winner's choice.

(Set in Season 4 or 5 ❤️:)

Tony laid down a final card. "Your turn."

McGee picked up a card. "Who taught you to play King's Corner?"

"Senior and I would play all the time." Dinozzo watched the younger agent lay down three more cards. "Who taught you Probie?"

"Sara." McGee laid down one more card. "Your turn."

Tony glanced at the bedroom door before picking up another card. "Your sister taught you well."

McGee caught the movement and turned. He watched Tony move three cards over before laying down two more on top. "Worried about the couple we're supposed to watch?"

"Yeah because they're being too quiet."

"They weren't last night."

Dinozzo froze.

"And you were asleep so you didn't hear a peep of it."

"Why pay attention to something I hear on a daily basis?"

McGee made a face at the older agent.

Without breaking eye contact, Dinozzo laid a final card down. "Your turn."

Tim turned to his cards. "Want to make things interesting?"

Tony's eyebrows furrowed together.

"What?"

"After the conversation we just had, that doesn't sound the least bit suggestive to you?"

McGee's eyes went wide. "Oh no! No no no no, that's not what I---."

"What were you implying Probie?"

"Definitely not that." McGee held up his last two cards. "Stakes on a card game."

"What did you have in mind?"

"Looser has to do whatever the winner wants."

"Still sounds suggestive." Dinozzo held up his own two cards. "But let's do it."

"You're on." McGee grabbed a card and got two more cards down on the table.

The two went back and forth, each being left with one card.

Finally, McGee got close, but had one card that was the wrong color to play on any of the other cards. "Your move."

Tony grinned as he grabbed a card from the deck. "You're not very observant Probie."

Tim's eyebrows furrowed together. "Oh?"

Meanwhile, Tony laid down a card onto one of the piles before picking up one of the other piles and moving it then laying down his final card. "I'll move that here and I win."

McGee's mouth fell open. "I missed that."

"Yep." Tony leaned back in his chair. "And now, I get to decide what to do with you."

Tim threw down his last card and leaned back as well.

"What to do? What to do?"

McGee matched Tony's eyebrow arch. "I can only imagine what schemes are running through your head. Make him take over night watches for the next few days, clean the car or all the gear, make him stand on his head. The possibilities are endless."

"Actually." Dinozzo leaned forward to gather up all the cards. "I want to test something Abby told me about."

"Oh?"

Tony moved over beside him on the couch. "Move."

"Now who's being suggestive."

"You don't know what I'm planning to do."

"Should I worry?"

"Possibly." Dinozzo smirked. "Cause Abby told me you're ticklish."

"Why should that make me worry?"

"Cause I'm using it to my advantage." Dinozzo held up his phone.

Tim narrowed his eyes.

"As the winner, you're going to let me record one blackmail video to use whenever I want."

"By letting you tickle me?"

"Yes."

"And if I refuse?"

"I can think of something much worse."

"Weird."

Dinozzo "You never specified what was on and off the table Probie."

"Didn't think I had to specify tickling as something off the table."

Tony sat back. "I'll use anything for blackmail."

"I'm starting to realiIZE!"

McGee jumped in surprise as Tony immediately began attacking his sides. "I should start by saying you're letting me do this."

"Yohou're mahakihing mehe!"

"I'm not holding you down."

"Yohou're threheatehening mehehe!"

"I'm not saying anything."

"Yohou said ihit behihind thehe cameheraha!"

Dinozzo spidered up to his ribs. "What did I say?"

McGee couldn't respond from the attack on his ribs.

"What did I say Probie?"

"Ihi cahan't---!"

Tony made sure to really dig into the sensitive spot. "You can't or you won't?"

Tim threw himself back into the couch and tried to wiggle away.

"Abby was right." Tony pinned his legs in place with his own just out of sight of the camera. "You are extremely ticklish."

"Shuhut---!" McGee broke himself off with a snort.

Suddenly, Tony had to stop the video to answer a phone call. "Yeah boss?"

While catching his breath, McGee could make out Gibbs voice on the other side.

"Do we know where our couples is? . . . They're here at the safe house still asleep."

Tim watched as Tony's face dropped. "Whahat?"

Dinozzo immediately jumped up and ran to the bedroom door.

When he opened it up, the two agents were greeted with an empty room.

"They're gone," McGee exclaimed.

Tony moved over to the window. "They must have gone out the window in the middle of the night."

"Why didn't the guards see anything?"

Dinozzo looked down to find one of the guards collapsed on the ground. "Looks like they took them out before they took off."

Tim joined Tony at the window.

"Boss just saw them fleeing a gas station before getting on the highway."

"We're in so much trouble."

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #199

I ate a peach today. Saturn peaches are in season. Do you know what those are? They're also called donut peaches sometimes. They look like this:

They are softer and sweeter than ordinary peaches. I enjoy them a lot, so when they're in the grocery, I try to make it a point to get them. Do you like peaches? Have you ever had one like this? I wonder.

Today I mostly rested. That's because I stayed up a bit too late last night. I really shouldn't have. But sometimes I am not very good at taking care of the soft, squishy animal that is my body. I'll have to apologize and do a little better; after all, this soft, squishy animal carries me and enacts my will, despite all the genetic limitations it has. It earnestly does its best all the time, even when it's scared, tired, and hurting. I have to try to be more mindful of this, and to be more grateful for it.

I played a lot of Dead Cells today. I also tried helping a friend through some things. I feel sluggish, so I'm maybe not doing a very good job of either of these things. I dunno.

I feel empty. Maybe it's just the lack of sleep. Maybe I expended too much energy yesterday doing a thing. Or maybe I ate something weird. But I've been making it a point to hydrate well all day. So that's at least something.

Suppose there's the feeling like there's something I should be doing, but I don't know what it is. I have a vague feeling like I'm running out of time for… something. A feeling like if I don't get… something??? done very soon, something bad is gonna happen, like… like I'll be letting someone down, or like I'm a bad person for not figuring out what is The Thing that I'm supposed to be doing and then doing it.

…But that doesn't make any sense. I wonder if it's just leftover from when my ma used to yell at me for things I didn't think to do for her without her asking. I wonder if I'm just running the old "generalized dread" script because I didn't get enough sleep last night.

…That's probably it. That's gotta be it. Brains resort to instinct to try to protect us when we're low on resources (in this case, neuronal surface area, because I didn't do a good job of sleeping, which means my brain didn't get properly flushed of debris…). Instinct tells me that I'm gonna get screamed at or told all about what an annoying disappointment I am, any second now. Because this is the world I used to live in. And when I get tired, my body and brain forget that I'm not in that place anymore.

Sigh. Well. I guess I'll do my best to cradle the soft animal that is me. It's just tired, and when it gets tired, it gets scared. It gets scared because it remembers old things. And that's okay. We can comfort the soft animal like we would comfort a frightened child. We can be gentle. We can be kind.

Maybe I'll stop playing Dead Cells for now. I'm on three whole Boss Cells at this point, and it's a challenging game even without any Boss Cells. It requires a lot of focus and precise timing, because the way I play, I'm often enough under the influence of a Curse (dead in only one hit), and I'm also always trying to parry enemies so I can get gold from them (so that I can buy better gear). This play style is not very forgiving of mistakes, and I'm probably putting a bit too much pressure on myself to succeed.

...But you know what, Sephiroth? You know what? Do you remember when I said that I got my butt kicked by a Mimic in one of my Dead Cell runs? And then I said I would practice? Well, in one of my runs today, I ran into a Mimic. And this time, the butt that was kicked was not mine!! I did a really nice job of parrying its attacks this time, and I made fast work of it because I practiced!! I wish you could have seen it!! I wish you could have seen...

Maybe I just need to do something wholesome. Maybe I'll get a shower and watch The Zeta Project. The Zeta Project is incredibly wholesome. It's very good. I'd include a link, but I'm not sure if it's allowed.

…I wish the series wasn't cancelled… I wish I could know how it ends. I wish that I could see Zee get the peace and safety that he is so desperately striving for…

I wish I could see you achieve peace and safety, too. Please work towards it, won't you?

Hey Sephiroth? Don't forget that you're loved, okay? Because I'm right here. And lots of people who love you are right here, too, even if I didn't exist. Please keep yourself safe out there. Please don't get killed.

I'll write again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine

[beevean]

So!

Those first 3 episodes

What can I say?

The plot was written

The backstories were told

The characters were characterized

The social issues were commentated on

The pacing was....paced

100/10, best show ever

On a more serious note I'm genuinely impressed that they managed to make these 3 episodes feel even more rushed to fuck than Season 1, which in its 4 episodes was able to at least establish each of the main characters and the main villain, their respective motivations and you know was mostly just a testing season made to see if there was public interest plus it was made using the scraps of a cancelled movie from 10 years earlier

This shit right here is awful. Genuinely awful, just the most stereotypically fanficy writing I can think of, the pacing goes by so quickly it feels like they're speedrunning the whole thing and there's no way to properly establish each character without it feeling like a 5 minute digression at best and then on with the fight scenes!

And the social commentary is as subtle as a jack hammer of course, i'm treally curious to see if they'll explain how a vampire elite can control society from the shadows so fully when they souldn't even be able to make public appearences during the day. Are you really telling me the citizen of France are so dense they never thought to set the royal palace ablaze during the morning?

Oh and then there's Maria

Called it about her

I have a honest-to-god headache.

Where do I begin?

Well... Richter is fine, so far, although he didn't do much. He's pretty laidback without being too vulgar. That's honestly how I'd imagine the real Richter to be. I wish they advertised those moments instead of showing him crying. I have to wonder, though, why did he use to be a prominent ice magic user of all things. Are they going to say that he inherited Juste's magic? (also where is the morning star?)

But then... big oof.

The pacing is shit. That was painful to go through. These three episodes were full of flashbacks and fight scenes: the latter to shoehorn tragic backstories instead of organically weaving them in the story, and the latter to pad out time, because they were just "oh there are monsters now! Go smash them!"

also I didn't see a single enemy from the games. We're back to S1's generic monsters. Nice.

Also, what's with those backstories? Richter has a Dead Mom, Annette has a Dead Mom + Slavery, Tera is Russian has a Dead Sister... really? That's the best you can do? It's so fucking cheap!

And the show really deadass killed Edouard, a nobody just introduced, in the second episode, and then expected me to feel bad about him because Annette, another nobody, misses him and cries with the most narmtastic voice acting so far. This is literally the same thing they did with Cho, except at least we weren't meant to feel sorry for her.

Maria is insufferable. She's the rudest and crassest of them all, can't talk about anything that isn't "liberty, equality, fraternity" and she's terrible to Richter - why is NFCV's idea of friendship insulting each other? We don't even know how they know each other! At least NFCV showed us how the gang was formed!

(Annette is too bland as of now, but justifying her metalbending with "she descends from gods" is... something)

Can we talk about that worldbuilding? There are still Devil Forgemasters? Who are they? Did Hector and/or Isaac have descendants (good god i do not want to imagine n!isaac impregnating a woman), or it's yet another person, diminishing the uniqueness of the art? And they're using machines to turn humans into Night Creatures? MACHINES??????? What the fuck is this, Sonic SatAM??????

(also bullshit that Night Creatures are only made, not born. Hector said, and I'm quoting from S2E3, "Before the war, night creatures were simply a species in hiding. They either reproduced naturally or were created by acts of wild magic." bro c'mon I'm not even a fan and I remember your worldbuilding, why can't you guys)

But also. Man they didn't even try to be subtle with these vampires. They are the entire French elite, they are the "white slave owners". Wow, deep commentary right there. And tell me, how can they go out in the open and show themselves to humans like that? How can they walk in the sunlight, like Drolta is seen to be doing? I know the original show had vampire lords like Carmilla and Cho, but they're really saying "yep, all the evil nobility is made of vampires" now, and everyone is aware of it.

And fucking Drolta. What the fuck are those shoes. They look like horse hooves. Isaac was neutered to keep her stupid hair and boobs, and also Olrox sitting on the-guy-who-looks-like-agent-stone-from-the-sonic-movies' chest. Okay. I'm normal about it.

and speaking of sonic references, edouard singing at the bird's funeral is peak NANANANANANANANANAAAAA energy.

Don't know what else to add. It was extremely boring and rushed and while we're not hitting the peak of offensiveness of the original show, this is still so, so bad from a writing standpoint.

And, as expected, the only thing that connects it to CV is that Richter has a whip. The story so far looks like a shitty period drama fusing the French Revolution and that good ol' american slavery story. They haven't learned a thing.

How in the hell are they going to butcher SoTN...?

[monkey-network]

Good Stuff: FLCL Grunge

or How Not to Grasp Why "Bottled Lightning" Exists

I'll preface this by saying that these recent "seasons" of Fooly Cooly have not ruined the original. That's like if you got a bottomless bag of tropical Skittles, every other minute you get a black Twizzler or flavorless candy corn piece thrown in that you aren't forced to eat but constantly get weirded out that they were in there in the first place. What is bad is that we're up to three sequels of FLCL & none of them even range to being on par with the original in terms of engaging memorability. I'm not the type to rag about X or Y being forgotten online days after it was just released, but it stings seeing a beloved anime have sequel series that everyone wants to forget because nobody asked for them. This isn't like Trigun Stampede where it got to have a newfound fanbase in spite of the backlash of diehards, we're on the 4th story and you might as well imagine the tumbleweeds. It doesn't help that the expectations didn't come with presentable execution... because Grunge was bad.

I'm honestly just waiting for Uzumaki at this point

It's ironic that while my reviews are about animated media, I don't really discuss the animation given my minimal expertise; I'm more of an emotional critic than a technical one. FLCL Grunge is the exception because it feels like a mess. It's like an enhanced PS1 game that looks graphically better than Berserk 2016 but has that same quality of stiff, choppy action and inconsistent blending of 2D imagery. You just wonder why this couldn't just be 2D? You would believe the CG studio responsible had this as their first-ever credit, but it's not as Montblanc's actual first feature had somehow better animation than this, and that was back in 2012. So either it was rushed or Production IG had no clue what they were going for. Worst aspect just has to be the rock humans because they can be so awkward to see and oh yeah, close but different topic.

Why are there Thing people?

Fooly Cooly I don't think anybody was ever in it for the lore. It was a miniseries where the pieces you could put together offered some sense while having open-ended questions. Even though the OG was far more grounded despite itself, I'm not against having aliens in these sequels because I'm all for things getting weird to spice up the purposeful mundanity. My only issue is the rock people are all we really have in this story when there could exist other species. It's a symptom of a larger problem these sequels have where things exist with none of the deserved flesh. Most enjoyed the OG more for the personal journey, not really piecing everything involving Medical Mechanica. With this, it just feels like they're trying to get Matpat's attention with all the stuff Haruko does with very surface-level backstories regarding the main characters. You know as much about what happened to Rockies as you do anything about Shin or Orinoko, which heavily pales in comparison to the previous three MCs. All this wrapped in an undercooked 3 episodes that is, and I'm not kidding...

Just a worse take of The Simpsons "Trilogy of Error"

One of my favorite story tropes is when everything takes place in one day, bonus points for interconnecting multiple stories into one. They do that here like in The Simpsons episode where everyone's involved in one crazy night. The problem again stems from that I barely care about the MCs enough and while there exists setup, you only get to know so much before it's over. It took episode 3 for me to give somewhat a fuck and even then they had to rush the climax all for a shitty reveal that it was a prequel this whole time. Giving Progressive its credit, at least we got time to grasp the characters. Any interconnected throughline is all for the climax which misses the point of the story structure. In the end, it felt like nothing. Whether it's a positive or not that it was only three episodes is debatable, but man...

Haruko was still hot. Take your pennies for a nickel

Making this review wasn't so much about disliking Grunge as it was about saying the original Fooly Cooly wasn't a fluke. To say that is like saying the unique animation structure of Into the Spiderverse was a fluke that couldn't be utilized well anywhere else post-release. I don't hate Grunge or think it's the worst anime ever, but this didn't subside the disenfranchisement that stemmed from an OVA that could work as an anthology. Something is only lightning in a bottle when you otherwise don't paint forgettable story elements with average to subpar imagery and have The Pillows carry every scene with their music. If this wasn't FLCL, it was a pretty underwhelming anime. As it is, it's another sequel that mistakes having ambition and familiarity for being engaging and resonating.

2 Out Of 5; An Erectile Dysfunctional Season

[dcvilgrams]

DO THEM ALL!!! unless like you actually don't want to and then do 🕸 and 💀

since this lovely person really did ask me to do them all... under the cut you can find them~

obey me mc ask game | my ask

😈: WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE BROTHER?

【post season 1; demon!Xhura】

"I―how―wha―I can't just choose a favorite! They're all my brothers and I love them all equally in their own unique ways for their own unique reasons! Pssht... asking me to pick a favorite... that's just cruel.

"But I guess if I have to give some kind of answer, Asmodeus was the first one I really thought of as my brother. He's been with me since day one and I'm so grateful for everything he's done for me."

👻: WHAT RACE ARE YOU? HUMAN?

【season 1; human!Xhura】

"Well... the position was asking for a human exchange student to attend RAD so... no shit, Sherlock? I don't really know what to say to that."

【post season 1; demon!Xhura】

"O-kay― so technically I was born human, yes. And I attended RAD through the exchange program as a human student. But... okay... so here's what happened, try and keep up.

"Lord Diavolo had Barbatos send me back in time so I could figure out how Belphie managed to combine my three pacts with Asmo, Levi, and Satan with Ayla's two pacts with Mammon and Beel in order to escape the attic. But when I found him he... well, he killed me. These things happen. Barbatos brought me back by making the reality where I lived the real reality, and so it was like it never happened.

"Except it did. I remembered all of it―dying, going back in time, everything that Barbatos said I should have eventually forgotten. And then I started having these... these episodes. Where it's like I was conscious, but I was trapped in my body. It was terrifying to say the fucking least.

"So it turns out something just... went wrong with sealing off the other reality―you know, the one where I kicked the bucket. And so my body would be into these episodes where I was basically living in my own corpse; like my body and my soul couldn't decide which reality I belonged to. Luckily, Barbatos found a way to fix that. I just needed to access enough of his reality-altering powers to actively choose to stay in the reality where I lived. And, y'know, there's only one way to access that much of a demon's power...

"So one pact and 88% of my soul sold off later, everything seemed peachy! Except... a-ha... turns out I tapped into too much reality-altering power. Enough that when combined with my fear of having to leave the Devildom and my unconscious desire to belong with the brothers... I kinda... turned myself into a demon?

"Ta..........da........?"

🔮: DO YOU POSSESS MAGIC?

【season 1; human!Xhura】

"Much to literally everyone's surprise... yeah? Like I fully expected to walk into that Spells Placement Exam and see myself out without being asked but nope. Turns out conjuring even a tiny ball of flame in your hand still counts as bona-fide magic."

🖤: WHICH OF THE SINS DO YOU ALIGN WITH?

answered here

[needle]: DO YOU BELIEVE IN FATE?

【post season 1; demon!Xhura】

"Absolutely. And I believe that everything that happens is a part of it―every harsh word, every bad day, every terrible choice is all mean to lead us to where we're supposed to be.

"Take me for example. Yes I suffered through years of addiction and recovery, but it made me stronger, and wiser, and led to me signing up for the RAD program―which led to being murdered by Belphie, which led to my pact with Barbatos―all of which led to me becoming the demon I was meant to be, marrying my soulmate Lucifer, living every day with a family who truly loves me.

"I do believe all the bad things had to happen to get me where I am today. And I wouldn't change a thing."

💜: WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

【season 1; human!Xhura】

"I was born in Sendai, in Northern Japan. My mom's job took her to cities all across the nation so I spent most of my younger life with my dad in Osaka ― I guess they divorced pretty early on, before I even turned a year old I think. I still don't really know why. My dad was a great guy. Best dad ever. He taught me how to read and write and was always cooking something delicious any time he was in the kitchen. He, uh... he passed in a car accident when I was five.

"So I had to go with my mom after that. We spent most of my formative years going from one city to the next. It wasn't exactly the best situation―the school districts definitely made it difficult for me when I hit my teens. And then... all of a sudden really out of the fucking blue, honestly mom's marrying this in-ground pool salesman Craig from the American Midwest and we're hauling ass to corn-town.

"I'd... rather not talk about the rest."

🕷: WHAT'S YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?

【post season 1; demon!Xhura】

"It's irrational now, but there was a time it wasn't... and it's still stuck with me. The same nightmare ― that one day I'll be woken up, told to pack my things, break my pacts, and be forced back to the Human Realm... nothing and no one on my side... my family forever out of my reach."

🐈‍⬛: HOW LONG DID IT TAKE YOU TO ADJUST?

answered here

👿: WHO IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE BROTHER?

【post season 1; demon!Xhura】

"Depends... what has Mammon done this time? ― Kidding, kidding; I'm kidding, I swear. Just like picking favorites, I can't pick a least favorite. They all annoy Luce and I in their own unique ways... which makes that list an endlessly-revolving one based on who did what and how badly they failed at covering it up."

🕸: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MAGICAL SUBJECT?

answered here

👾: DO YOU GAME WITH LEVI?

【season 1; human!Xhura】

"We game every once in a while. Truth be told I have the video game coordination of someone who had their thumbs surgically replaced with their big toes, so I prefer to watch. We do frequently binge TSL together though. How could we not??"

💀: HOW IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH BELPHIE?

【post season 1; demon!Xhura】

"To no one's surprise it was... rocky at first. How else are you supposed to describe your pseudo-friendship with your murderer? Especially since I kept re-living my death―talk about rubbing salt in the wound. But everyone was so happy to have him home and.... and well of course there's that whole thing about Ayla falling in love with him while planning his attic-rescue... eventually we found a good middle ground.

"And I'm happy to say that middle ground eventually just... smoothed out? I don't have a good analogy for it. I can't say exactly when, or what did it, but one day I just realized... I had forgiven him. And we were okay―better than okay―we were true brothers."

🦄: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MYTHICAL CREATURE?

【post season 1; demon!Xhura】

"Well they're not really mythical, but Hellnicorns are definitely my favorite creature native to the Devildom! Going on the Alpha hunt is still one of the top three most thrilling experiences of my life."

【the following is an excerpt from The Disaster Duo Chronicles, showcasing the hellnicorn herd】

There have to be about fifty of them. Maybe a few more. Spread out over a full-moon sky in small groups and then some. The smaller ones, babies probably, are indeed the size of regular pack horses. They gallop and whinny as a group of several chase each other by the tips of their horns. One scampers away before turning on gangly legs to lock horns with another, playfighting for dominance. The majority of them are the size of decent construction trucks— the kind with the extra set of back wheels that appear in a commercial with a man in a cowboy hat talking about letting freedom ring with a beer in hand, never shown on the road but only on dirt trails. They seem to have more than one horn on average; smaller secondary ones above or below the main ticket not unlike secondary wing characteristics. They graze and nudge each other, long tails swishing lazily. The big ones… those are the breath-takers. Four of them as big as, indeed, a two story house. Six nearby them just slightly shorter, but thicker and stockier. Likely from the same family branch. The biggest four have at least three horns, maybe several more small ones hidden in the shadows of the others. But that main horn has to be as long as Dagon is tall. And like all the others it shines a vibrant and glossy obsidian, as if carved from stone and bestowed as a crown for their majesty. Before Xhura can properly express his awe in a verbal fashion, the Alpha—oh it’s so obvious which one is the Alpha, standing mightier than the rest and covered in dark grizzled scar lines, eyes a milky white and filled with instinct like Xhura is coming to terms with really understanding—charges.

🔪: WHICH BROTHER WOULD YOU STAB?

answered here

♋️: WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?

answered here

🎱: HAVE YOU GOTTEN DETENTION?

【season 1; human!Xhura】

"You gotta be more specific here. Have I gotten detention ever in my life? Yeah, though it only started happening once I was introduced to the wonderful world of the Chicago Public School District. Feel the eye-roll of my words, I beg of you.

"But if you're asking if I've ever gotten detention at RAD? Hell no! Not only am I too excited for my classes to even think about missing them except you Seductive Speechcraft you little asshole, but there's no way in―well―Hell I'd risk whatever punishment Barbatos has in store there. Nu-uh, no thanks."

🦷: WHAT CHAPTER ARE YOU ON IN YOUR STUDIES?

【season 1; human!Xhura】

"Actually??? I have??? amazing news??? It took a lot of convincing but I finally got Lucifer to agree to let me sit the placement test for the Advanced-Placement Devildom History course!!

"I said before I have a knack for dates and things like that and the whole test is literally just this beautifully-made timeline of the Devildom from the Primordial Beginning to Diavolo's Father's reign and I'm so stupid excited to ace the fuck out of it???

"Huh? Oh, yeah that means I'll be sharing the course with Lucifer, that's right. ... No, no one else from the program or the House is in that course, why? Just what are you implying??? Hm??? That I would use History in such a nefarious not to mention slutty way? Is that it?

"Well... I can't even dignify that with an answer―nay... I won't. Hmph."

🎵: WHAT SKILLS DO YOU HAVE?

【season 1; human!Xhura】

"Hehe...heh... uhhh... I mean I've definitely gotten more than my fair share of compliments and praise about certain skills of mine the kind of skills that come in handy when you're strung out and desperate for another hit and your dealer is a sleazebag but hey nobody said addiction was pretty. But I'm more than just a good... that.

"I'm a pretty decent cook if I do say so myself. I'm also super obsessive over organizing and charting and color-coding―which has come in handy more than once since moving into the House of Lamentation. Even Lucifer has adopted my color-coordinated chore chart.

"I have my knack-for-dates thing, I'm fluent in both English and my native Japanese... let's see... what else... Oh, I guess I'm also really good about giving people the benefit of the doubt. You kinda have to be, you know, when you've hit rock bottom as many times as I have... aha... uh... is that enough? Cool."

🐃: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DEVILDOM FOOD?

【post season 1; demon!Xhura】

"Hands-fucking-down Barbatos' equine sashimi. Yeah, he normally only prepares it when he knows Dia-ji has had or is gonna have a stressful day, but once he found out I loved it so much, he basically makes it every time Luce and I stay for dinner after our bi-weekly budget meetings for RAD. If you've never tried it.... just do it. Stuff'll change your life."

☂️: DO YOU LIKE THE ETERNAL MOON?

【season 1; human!Xhura】

"It was a bit jarring to get used to at first, but honestly with my adhd I've always functioned better at night anyway?? So it's been a great way to kinda trick my brain into jumping right into 'productive mode.'"

[wand]: ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH SOLOMON?

【the following is an excerpt from The Disaster Duo Chronicles, giving a pretty blunt look at Xhura's feelings towards Solomon the Wise】

“You… dare…” He’s tired. He’s so tired. He’s so… fucking tired. And his tail is lashing out. And he’s backing up, waving a hand and teleporting all of Ayla’s things out of the way and packed and to the castle foyer, and he’s— He’s… “You didn’t protect her from herself.” He’s punching Solomon in the face, feeling the amazing and wonderful fucking crunch of cartilage under his hand, and the fantastic blooming pain in his knuckles. And the next thing he knows he’s in Barbatos’ room. For everyone’s safety. Including his own.

🗝: HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE ATTIC?

【season 1; human!Xhura】

"Honestly? I really wish Ayla would stop going up there. Yes, we've confirmed she's not crazy and there is someone trapped in what's basically an attic-gilded cage up there. But there's a reason Lucifer gets so bristly about it... and I kinda trust his judgment.

"After all, the guy lied about being a human to try and get us to help him. What does that say about his character, or what he's capable of? The Devildom may look all shiny and cool and it is don't get me wrong but it's still dangerous as fuck. And maybe people behind hidden bars are dangerous as fuck too. That's all I'm saying."

✝️: ARE YOU RELIGIOUS?

【season 1; human!Xhura】

"Not... really? I mean my dad's side of the family has a long history of Shintoism and shrines and stuff but once I lost touch with them it all kinda went in one ear and out the other. And I definitely wasn't praying to a higher power when I was doing drugs. So... no, I'm not."

🖋: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF DIAVOLO?

【season 1; human!Xhura】

"Between you and me, I guess I expected the guy in charge of the Devildom to be a little more... stuffy? proper? uptight? I don't even know the word I'm looking for but Diavolo definitely didn't meet my mind's eye when it came time for introductions. But he seems eager to learn and adapt his rule to changing times in all three realms, so that's a good sign (I think?)

"And when he put on his big-prince pants... he's actually kinda scary. you'd never know that grinning dork is underneath those stern eyes and that set frown.

"Either way, he seems to have a good head on his shoulders―he makes good decisions; the fact he somehow slipped up and allowed my program invitation to be processed even though someone else had already been chosen aside."

【post season 1; demon!Xhura】

"Wow... talk about a loaded question. Should I focus on when he begrudgingly allowed Barbatos to make a pact with me to keep me from dying on repeat? And how he seemed really reluctant to grant me an immigration status to live permanently in the Devildom?

"Or maybe instead I'll talk about when he was utterly convinced that I was the catalyst behind the Three Worlds Disasters―even if I wasn't aware of it? Which led to him deciding to revoke my pact with Barbatos―condemning me to death, and only finally believed it was actually Ayla's magic doing the destroying, not mine, at the literal last possible second??

"Then again, there's also a lot to be said about the fact that, during Hyakki Yako (when our friendship was at it's rockiest, mind you) we both were visited by a spirit guarding several precious memories of His deceased mother, the Late Demon Queen Ryoko, who then revealed to us that she was born human and had a human child before coming to the Devildom ― a child who turned out to be a very distant ancestor of... yup, you guessed it, this disaster demon boy! Thus making Diavolo some kind of convoluted distant-A-F uncle of mine??

"Yeah... there's definitely a lot to talk about when it comes to Lord Diavolo―or as I call him, Dia-ji―and how we feel about each other. It started out pretty rocky but... we're in a much better place now. I'm even gonna introduce him to some distant cousins from my dad's side of the family I got back in contact with this summer! He's so excited, it's honestly adorable."

🔗: WHAT ARE YOUR KINKS?

【post season 1; demon!Xhura】

"Hey-o, whoa there... you're totally cool with asking someone you barely know that kinda thing? Who raised you? At least take me out to dinner first~!

"Nah but all kidding aside, my kinks are for me and my practically perfect in every way husband, Lucifer, to know... and for you to wonder about for several centuries at the very least~"

"𝑊𝘩𝑎𝑡, 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑎𝑠𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔? 𝐹𝑖𝑛𝑒... 𝐿𝑒𝑡'𝑠 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑠𝑎𝑦 𝑤𝑒'𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑆𝑡𝑢𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝐶𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑐𝑖𝑙 𝑚𝑒𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑟𝑜𝑜𝑚... 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑐𝘩𝑎𝑙𝑘𝑏𝑜𝑎𝑟𝑑~"

🤍: ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH SIMEON?

【post season 1; demon!Xhura】

"I mean... kinda? We're friendly? I kinda keep a distance because didyouknowSimeonisactuallyChristopherPeugeot??? Mastermind and literary genius behind my literal favorite series-slash-creative world-slash-epic saga of all time??? Because... when I found out... I couldn't make so much as a sound in his presence for a whole-ass month, guys.

"So I kinda... just keep a friendly-yet-professionally-standard distance so as not to further embarrass myself."

♠️: DO YOU GAMBLE LIKE MAMMON?

【season 1; human!Xhura】

"Uhhh... well I guess you could technically say I used to gamble with my life every time I took a hit or a pill, or tried something new and stupid and way strong. But thankfully no I've never had a real honest gambling addiction―I had too many other addictions to juggle."

🟣: WILL YOU BE SAD TO LEAVE THE DEVILDOM?

【season 1; human!Xhura】

"I'd.... ahem― I'd actually rather not talk about this... if that's okay?"

【the following is an excerpt from The Disaster Duo Chronicles, where Xhura admits to Asmodeus his wish to stay in the Devildom forever】

"You get to keep the DDD, you know?" “Yeah, and I can already promise you I’m going to lose every job I might find staring at it all day.” There’s no use in sugar-coating it. That’s exactly how bad it’s going to be for him. “I get to go back to crashing on couches and being a nothing. A waste of space. Ayla will still be going back and forth with you guys here and I’ll just be…” Xhura looks up with eyes bright with tears. “Is it weird I’ve only been here a month and a handful of weeks but I feel like it’s always supposed to be my home?”

🦴: WOULD YOU MAKE A DEAL TO COME BACK?

【post season 1; demon!Xhura】

"If I could go back in time now and tell that scared boy just how alright everything was gonna turn out... well... can't mess with time travel like that for my own selfish gains, of course, but... thankfully all his worrying was for nothing.

"Because we get to stay. Forever."

i....... literally....... cannot believe i actually managed to do them all??? you're a rockstar bb

[nehswritesstuffs]

Ask game! 💋💥💞💫

Ooooh, yay! Thank you~

This got kind of long, so my answers are under the cut!

💋when you leave comments on a fic, do you want to hear back from the writer?

Yes! It's rare for me to not want to hear back, but I know and understand that sometimes you got nothing else to say, since I've been on that end too.

💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

That would be TTOU Big Finish Snippet: Workplace Security [AO3] with its all of THREE KUDOS! *paper confetti* I really enjoyed writing something for The Thick of UNIT that was Jamie, Sam, and Bismuth. One of the great things about both Doctor Who and The Thick of It is the side characters and what they can bring to the story. While Doctor Who is able to access all of time and space with its side characters and give us more Human voices to lean upon for anywhere from an episode to a whole series/season, the side characters in The Thick of It give us a sense of just how many cogs are in the system and how big and far-reaching everything is, especially what the ministers and aides are cocking up. It's a reminder of all the banal shit in a government or other large organization and how much of said shit happens and yet you have to carry on best you can. Here we're able to explore all of those concepts in a short audio script fic that has no shortage of Bismuth attempting to figure things out, Sam being a sort of grounding force, and Jamie being... well... Jamie. my next-least at five is the beginnings of a rewrite of an old One Piece fic i haven't touched in years and i really need to get back on that bc i haven't touched the rewrite in more than a few months lol i'm too many dozens of thousands of words into the conceptualization to just drop it at this point

💞what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

I'm going to answer this in regards to fan fiction only, since it has factors that don't impact published original fiction and vice versa. A tough one, but I would have to honestly say it's a weird combination of factors that can vary if certain criteria are met. Sometimes I begin to go through a fic where something's not up to snuff and I'll go "I'll entertain this for now" and it's lead to some surprising things. Part of this I think comes from cutting my fandom teeth with varying anime as a teen back in the 2000s. One of the things that I think makes sense when you think about it but we're easily able to take for granted is that one can utilize fandom as experimentation and practicing and figuring shit out. For some people, that's learning how to write a story. Others might know how to make words do things (wording is hard!), but they need practice at worldbuilding and storycraft. Some are trying to figure out how to stay consistent with a character, while on the opposite end of that, there's shit so silly that it can't help but be funny. If there's the right balance, then there are definitely things I can look over, but too many infractions clashing with one another and whoops Nehs out. There's also people who use fandom to practice foreign language skills in general. We see it often with weebs learning Japanese, but it also goes with people writing in English-as-a-Second-Language too. I've seen some really questionably-crafted stories that were rife with spelling and technical errors, but the soul of the story is there, if that makes any sense. They KNOW the characters, they KNOW what they want to tell, they KNOW how to get everything across in every possible way, and probably write really well in their native language, but in English...? They're working on it. And that's great! Part of me wants to branch out into that sort of thing one day, but the problem is that the communities whose languages I'm trying to learn are already very bilingual in English. But yeah... because all of those things were so weird and fluid and just desperately wanted in Anglophone weeb spaces FFN that it made sense to take what we could and encourage others when it came to writing about our anime blorbos. I dunno about everyone else's experience, but I rarely was in the middle of flame wars, so most of my fandom experience tended to be pretty cool. Also, having ESL family helps. It's no joke that it's hard translating everything in your head before you say it--some stuff gets lost in translation... literally!

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

In lieu of a mini book report like was common in my teen years (lol), I really enjoy the ones that take something(s) that the reader liked about the story/chapter and picks it all apart. It could just be that they really liked a line or exchange of dialogue, or mentioning how events are going and how that messes with the story, or using context clues to try to parse out what's coming next. Knowing what clicks and whirs and gets into people's brain is so interesting to me and I love getting that information because then that's stuff for me to figure out as well about my writing and how it interacts with folks. Bonus points when someone does it on a by-chapter basis and/or on older stuff! I do also appreciate when someone legitimately corrects me, lol, 'cause Lord knows I'm not perfect.

Anyone else interested in having me answer some questions as I avoid writing actual fic? See what other prompts there are here.

[thea-dacity]

I had to make a separate tumblr for this because my roommates follow me on all my social media, and I cannot make this post there because my roommate will see it, and I cant fudge the details enough that she wont know it's about her. But I need somewhere to vent because if i dont i will explode, even if my usual support group wont be there to help.

4 years ago, my girlfriend and I decided that we were going to live together with another couple in a rental home and split the rent 4 ways. Rent in our area is stupidly high, and I was struggling to make rent, so this seemed like a good deal for all of us.

Lots of details here are not important because if I nailed it to the church door like I want to it would take weeks.

For the first year, we were doing really well. All four of us had jobs, even if the pay wasnt stellar. But between the four of us, paying all our expenses was easy and I was even starting to save.

Then. Roommate A lost her job. Its alright. People lose jobs. It happens.

Then. COVID. Which was not alright, and I think that while it's not the root of all our problems it was definitely a contributing factor.

I want to talk about A for a minute. A suffered a lot of emotional abuse from her mother growing up. She goes to therapy for it, she's taking medications, we're to believe that shes working through her problems at some kind of pace. I'm being pretty understanding that recovery ain't a straight line. Plus, we've met her mother and her mom is absolutely a bitch.

She's very jealous that the rest of us have parents that arent narcissists and abusers, but it's not like we dont all have our own host's of problems (whole house is a concoction of adhd, autism, anxiety, depression, and eating disorders).

Every year, A will throw some kind of tantrum. The first time, it was because I said something about how I felt shoved in a corner. Me, my girlfriend, and Roommate B (A's partner) all shared an office together.

A's former remote job required her to have privacy, so it was agreed that she would get an office to herself. But B's job also required privacy, she they got the nook that we were using as our craft room, and we just agreed to be conscious of her privacy during work hours.

This didnt last very long. I couldnt use my computer to play music very loud and my girlfriend couldn't use the space to sew. And I felt, as I said, shoved in a corner.

So I asked in our house chat if we could reconfigure the working scenario because I felt like I wasnt... given proper space to work.

Didnt even mention A, but A went on a tirade about it- wrote up a whole screed about how she was the bad guy and then locked herself in the office (remember, at this time she was not working from there) and didnt talk to us for three days.

We worked out a solution where B works from the closet of their bedroom in a makeshift cubicle, the nook goes to me and Girlfriend, and A gets the office to herself... for some reason. Eventually this turned into their game room.

But it kind of set the tone that at least once a year this 40 year old throws a hissy fit about something and then doesnt apologize.

Again. I'm trying to be understanding of her situation, but there are days where I have to walk on eggshells.

Well... it's that time again.

Rough update of the events preceeding:

I quit my toxic job awhile back and started a new career as a photographer, which requires a lot of equipment. This job does not make a lot of money and theres a few months where I have to find extra work just to make ends meet.

Girlfriend lost her job and has been deeply depressed, and money issues mean that we are privately going through a rough patch during the slow season. My emotion s are... kind of haywire right now and I'm trying to make it work, but it's hard.

B got a promotion, enough that they can afford a starter home, possibly. They're trying, anyways.

A only leaves the house for doctor's appointments and house showings. She hurt her back some years ago and she hasnt been able to find a job.

After failing to find either a house to buy or an apartment to rent, girlfriend and I decided to stay in the current place. A and B are trying (and failing) to find a house of their own because the market is... very tight right now.

A cant contribute to the move monetarily and has anxiety about not being ready to move when the time co.es (even if it takes a whole month to close on a house.) She started packing in February. Its May, now, and no sign of any move to come, but the amount of boxes in our house would make you think they're moving out tomorrow.

So my stuff is crammed in the craft room (because she asked me to move my stuff out of the garage so she could use the garage as an exercise room, which never happened) a d there's boxes everywhere, making it difficult to get to my stuff to organize it. And she wont put her stuff in the garage because 'theres mice in there' even if her solution to my stuff is to put it in the garage. Its frustrating to live in a place where you cant use the furniture because its covered in boxes.

But let me back up a little because today's tantrum has details.

Last October, I accidentally backed into Bs car. Damage was a crack in the bumper, which I didn't think was a big deal, I offered to pay for it, but B went through insurance instead, which meant I almost lost my insurance. But they didnt pay for any of it, and it was a minor inconvenience- and in any case it was between the two of us, no hard feelings.

B asked if, in the future, I could park on the street, because their car is newer than mine and not as sturdy as my older car, to prevent any future mishaps. I decided this was fair.

Now I think we're up to speed.

My car had a coolant leak this past week and the car overheated. I took it to a mechanic to take care of, but it took a few days and they got me a rental so I could still do my job. And today was the last day of me having it.

B was at the office today, so their parking spot in the driveway was empty. My task today was to return the photo equipment to our main office and since the bags are heavy I decided to park in the driveway just so I could get my stuff in.

I realized as it was sitting there that the grill of the car kind of made a funny face, so I snapped a pic of it and shared it on tumblr before driving off.

So because A follows me on tumblr, she saw the pic and had something to say about it:

"Please dont park next to me. You backed into (B's) car and we just got it fixed."

There's like 3 feet clearance between our cars. I was only there for half an hour. In fact, I was away from the house when she put that in the house chat and didnt respond right away. Girlfriend actually came to my defense first.

"there's no call for that. 1) his implies that (tgea) makes a habit of driving recklessly, which is untrue and 2) the rental is in the driveway to make sure IT doesn't get damaged 3) why is (thea) not allowed to uise the #!%^$% driveway"

And B offered to park behind her car, which was not the point, since my car wasnt parked there anymore. The problem is that B always wants to negotiate and see both sides of a problem, but sometimes one side is simply being unreasonable.

And it really is just fucking ridiculous- I pay rent here, I should be able to park in my drive way for 30 minutes without scrutiny.

Girlfriend told her off in person as well, that she was being fucking ridiculous. I dont know what all she said, but A hasnt talked to me since getting back from the mechanic.

Since moving in here, I never really got the sense that this I was welcome. Like... yeah I live here, but this is A's house, not mine. I'm a tool to be used so she doesnt have to pay rent or cook dinner. Like... I've got my own mental issues, you know? I have self worth problems that this is feeding and I feel like I'm a pest that does inconvenient things like make messes and thats why I'm only allowed in our bedroom, our office nook, and the garage. Like that's why she keeps putting my stuff in the garage- I'm like one of the mice.

These tantrums dont happen on their own, usually. What typically happens is shes in a bad mood because she was eavesdropping on a conversation where i said something she didnt like and is looking for a reason to be mad.

And the only thing that I can think of is that this morning I had a conversation with B about how we had a lot of duplicate items in the cupboard and I was trying to plan meals around the things we have excess of, one of which was an ingredient that only she uses, typically. And that food is expensive and we should try to budget a bit more carefully. Which doesnt seem like the kind of thing that someone might get vindictive about, but guilt does weird shit to your brain.

Unless, of course, she was somehow listening in on the conversation I had with Girlfriend about how I need to put my foot down about food expenses and say that I shouldn't be paying for their convenience foods (premade salads, frozen burritos, bolthouse drinks) or her bougie food choices (pepperidge farm bread, Annie's mac n cheese, brown eggs only, cant buy store brand anything) because when I'm working I rarely eat any of the food that comes in the house.

The walls here are thin, sometimes I hear them arguing. But we keep our voices down, and if the comments I made in my own room, which is one of the FEW places I have to myself, made her mad- then she should have said something about that instead of forbidding me from parking three feet away from her precious Kia that she never drives, in my OWN FUCKING DRIVEWAY of my OWN FUCKING HOUSE.

I'm trying not to go crazy here, but shes making it very hard, and I feel like vermin. Vermin that pays half the rent and makes all her food.

Anyway, I feel a little better having talked about it, but after that I dont know what to do because if I bring it up that she was being unreasonable, then she'll find something else to treat me like shit over and we get back to the eggshell cycle.

I want to block her on tumblr so I can even talk about it where my friends are, but if I do that and she figures out that I blocked her it's going to make this house absolute hell.

I'm literally screaming inside.

[hard-core-super-star]

I came to the conclusion that we're both cool and mysterious, that's it. that's very specific and right on target because I feel like one little joke would lead to another path with maybe other jokes, which would lead to comments and then a whole conversation revolving around it lmao

okay, on the third star this won't happen again 😔

I'm pretty good (I'm literally not) at getting references, so yeah, it would be funny joke! but since I told my joke first I won

I'm shocked that outside of my bubble hawkeye really didn't do that well either, but sshhh, we can pretend. WHY it's embarrassing to admit this?? this is so cool lmao, I loved the lego batman games and I still do tbh. see?? lego games leaded you to DC, they changed your entire life!!! I'll consider it a crime for you to say you find this embarrassing. I love being dramatic for no reason. do you have other games you like?

I didn't know there were other (canon) queer representations in the arrowverse shows- give me a reason to start watching Batwoman, I just want to start some series but nothing seems very interesting 😶

well, at least avalance got their happy ending... RIGHT?

I stopped at the season (I don't know which one it is) they go to paradise aka a place where there are many Ava clones. legend of tomorrow and batwoman being canceled and flash not? maybe... maybe it has a name? 👀 even though I love flash, I can't, every season being practically the same thing gets tiringhdhjwwk

THEY'RE NOT GIRLFRIENDS?????? The queer baiting needs to stop or I will take matters into my own hands, literally, it's so???? and did this work to boost the show further? It's okay, you deserve to sleep in peace, but iiif one daaaaayy--

–🌟

i think that's a very good conclusion to come to and i’m glad we can leave it at that. our conversations make up the messiest timeline ever and i somehow feel like that's really fitting.

i’ll believe it when i see it 👀

we’re just going to have to wait until i get the chance to make another reference again and see if you get it.

yeah, we can pretend it did well enough to get another season, they just haven't announced it ‘cause of the strike, you know? i don't know, i’ve just never told that story before and it felt kinda lame. it just goes back to young me having a lot of hyperfixations and having enough time to fall down rabbit holes. the Nightwing phase was strong for that very reason lmao. i don't know how well-known this franchise is but i adored Mafia 2 when i was younger which probably says something weird about me lmao. Mafia 3 is pretty amazing too. i also weirdly love the FIFA games even though i have a very basic understanding of soccer. i can't tell you how many times i’ve replayed GTA V for the cars alone. there's probably more but i can't remember 😶

OH MY GOD, don't get me started on batwoman because i love that show to death. the first season is good but not as good as two and three. it sucks that season three is their last season because it's so good. AND GAY! the whole show is queer af and it doesn't shy away from it at all! [hence why it was canceled so soon] and listen, i know she's supposed to be an irredeemable villain or whatever but alice kane is so ajdjjdjdkskaks 🫨 i could write essays on her character, her development, and how well rachel skarsten acts out all the nuances that come with a character like alice.

they did and that's all that matters to me. i just pretend like the cliffhanger doesn't exist and they went right back to causing chaos.

honestly i think that season [season 3] is one of the best ones and it’s definitely not just because of ava and sara but 👀 season 4 is good too except for the light queerbating that happens but since it's Legends of Tomorrow, i just assume it was canon but not shown on-screen, you know? there's honestly something to love about every season, even when it goes very off the rails. i defended the flash until i possibly couldn't anymore. i only kept watching it because of caitlin [AND THEY ALWAYS DID HER SO DIRTY, WTF!!! my girl deserved so much better]

shocking right? they played into it so much but it just never became canon. i think they just managed to string the fans along because no one could look away from that trainwreck. plus, the actresses are amazing, it's not their fault the producers kept queerbating the fans. i’ll think about it…maybe.

[taiblogcomics]

The Big Unfair Data-Share In the Air Scare

Hey there, deerstalker caps. Well, we're finally here. It's the last issue of Avengers Undercover. This won't be at all satisfying, will it? I sincerely doubt it.

Here's the cover:

…Oh, right. I was confused by the symbolism here until I remembered that Zemo kicked off this thing by very blatantly offering the kids an apple. Okay, I guess that makes sense now. Very confusing if you don't recall that detail, though. But also, now her knife's radioactive! That can't be good! I guess this cover is at least moderately spooky enough to warrant the season. 4/10, see me after class. Except don't, because never seeing this comic again can't happen soon enough for me~

So! Let's recap everything before the final issue. Eternal loser villain Arcade got magic nanite powers and set up a Hunger Games for teen superheroes. After a month, they eventually escaped, whereafter they found society difficult to mix back into, due to the leaked footage of the event. With them being painted as potential bad seeds, they're targeted by the Masters of Evil for recruitment. Most of them aren't stupid enough to go for it, and plan to turn it around on Baron Zemo and pals the first opportunity they get. Three months later, they're still hemming and hawing at making a plan, leaving Zemo to spring his own trap instead…

So, speaking of three months ago, we jump back to six months ago, where Arcade is bragging to Zemo, wanting an invite to the Masters of Evil for his exploits. Zemo asks exactly what amazing deeds he should be exalted for. Kidnapping? Child abuse? Video editing? The only thing impressive about what he did was the tech. Which is why they're co-opting it, thanks to Miss Coriander. They make a dupe of Arcade, transferring his nanites over to the robot. And that's how the kids murdered Arcade, only for him to turn up in Constrictor's prison later~

Back in the present, the present Avengers are trying to blast their way through the giant rock blocking the entrance to Supervillain City. The kids apologise, they didn't know it was a trap. The Avengers believe them, assuring them there's no worry. They'll be sure to trip Hellstrom's magic seal in a few minutes. And how much trouble can the world get into in those few minutes without them? Meanwhile, we see Sabertooth and Mystique sacking the Tower of London, demons burning down Roxxon's oil fields, the Young Masters bullying SHIELD Academy recruits… Okay, maybe the last one is kind of on the lesser side, but still.

Of course, as mentioned, all of that is just a smokescreen for Zemo's real plan. He asks Deathlocket for a progress report, and she's almost 83% done whatever she's hacking. Constrictor and Madame Masque go do another sweep for straggler SHIELD agents. And what do you know, they happen to run into Cammi. She's trying to smash up whatever she can before whatever's going on can happen, but they zap her and carry her away, chiding her for picking the wrong side. They respect her cleverness in escaping prison, but it wasn't enough.

Suddenly tech everywhere cuts out, and Zemo appears on camera. He asks for everyone's attention, then lampshades how he's the big scary villain making threats by hacking into everyone's communications network. Except no: he's hacked into SHIELD's communications. SHIELD has access to everyone's data and is monitoring all your communications. They know what you watch on TV, who you call on the phone, and the contents of your email inbox. Oh no, all my spam! Big Brother is alive and well. So, like, who's the real bad guy here?

Guess what, it's still the Nazi in the purple ski mask. And Cammi demonstrates this by throwing Constrictor into Zemo as he talks. How is she so tough all of a sudden? Well, she's been transferred Arcade's godmode nanites, through Miss Coriander being attached to SHIELD's systems. Now Cammi has the godmode. And she just embarassed Zemo while he was on-screen to the entire world's communications. Cammi, the character who was left out of most of the story due to being locked up is ultimately the hero of the day.

And she couldn't have done it without her prison buddy, Arcade! He turns up, having just escaped with her from prison and given her the permissions to use the nanites. Except, no. Fuck that guy, he doesn't get credit for this. Cammi decks him across the face too. And since the Helicarrier is still broadcasting to everyone, she shows the world that Arcade is still alive, and the plan to defect to the Masters of Evil was always fake.

She explains everything to everybody, so there's no longer any confusion regarding her and her friends. They're all in the clear now. Having now been the superhero, though, Cammi doesn't think she's cut out for it. In fact, she's not cut out for any of this. And using her new powers, she goes rocketing into space, leaving Earth behind.

The comic wraps up with a few epilogues. The remaining teens now have SHIELD's trust. They just want to be kept in the loop a little bit. Cullen Bloodstone having willingly joined up with the Masters of Evil is never brought up, so I guess he changed his mind after Hellstrom mind-controlled him? Either way, the kids reunite with their other friends who were smart enough to be left out of this adventure, and just have some fun being teens at some stupid lake somewhere.

And the villains… Well, whatever their plan was, they at least got second place: keeping the Helicarrier. It doesn't have access to SHIELD's systems anymore, but it's still a cool ship. And it's got a great new hood ornament: Arcade, who starts screaming as the Masters of Evil rocket off to do more villain shit. I told you he'd finally get his comeuppance~

Okay, so! In conclusion, Avengers Undercover is garbage. I think we've conclusively proven that. Now, Arena is still worse, in my opinion. Arena existed just to kill off some C-list teen heroes like Mettle and Juston, and I will forever hate it for that. Say what you will about this series--and we've said plenty here--but at least nobody died, yeah?

Let's talk about Zemo's "plan" for a moment, yeah? Coz, like... What was his plan? Okay, he's hacked into the communications of the entire planet. Except it's really SHIELD's comms, and his big plan is to... reveal this? Like, to sow mistrust? What was your next step, sir? People mistrust the quasi-militaristic espionage group policing the world's superhumans, and... then what? The regular people go over to your side? Like, not to get political, but I think everybody already would mistrust such an organisation, just like in the real world. Was this a statement about our current hellscape of data-sharing and so forth? Maybe I'm stupid, but I don't know what he hoped to accomplish with this. I do know I'm going to use this image again, though~

In summary, this series was already very rough and built on an already stupid preceding series. The rush to the end to conclude it before cancellation certainly didn't help much. If you want a much better story about what might make a teenager fall into the temptations of supervillainy, check out the YA book series Please Don't Tell My Parents I'm A Supervillain. It is way better than any of these comics, and I highly recommend it.

Wow, we're finally done with this whole arc! It was tedious and downright unpleasant at times. Thankfully, I just got a shipment in a couple weeks ago, so we can clear the air and do a bunch more My Little Pony comics as a palate cleanser. Doesn't that sound nice~?

[aniseandspearmint]

AAAND STAR WARS WINS!!!

lols, I'm not too surprised, Star Wars IS one of the more dynamically fun worlds. And force sensitivity is a lure as much as it is a caution. It was a lot of fun to see everyone's plans for living in that world, and not just dying! (Tho, person that mentioned the ysalamiri, i don't remember who mentioned them only that someone did sorry, aren't those RARE and hard to come by? I'm pretty sure the Empire has the planet they originate from under lock and key, so you miiiiight have to come up with another plan there. Just sayin'. A for effort tho!)

(adding a read more bc this is getting long)

Middle Earth came in a pretty close second, again not too surprising, though I was gratified to see the caveat of 'you are an elf' was enough to make people hesitate! That's one heck of a pro vs con if you know enough bout the fandom! I was a bit disappointed with how many people that voted for this missed/ignored the whole 'YOU CANNOT AVOID THE DRAMA' part, but oh well.

Marvel came in 3rd, but a pretty distant 3rd which is interesting. I figured it would score higher given how popular it is in general, and the way i didn't specify 'no powers' like I did DC. The reason why I didn't say no powers btw, was because powers are much more likely to fall under 'ultimately useless' in the marvel universe. Like sure you could luck out, end up with a great one, or you could end up with lactose detection. Or making lights flicker a bit when you get near them. Or turning red in the presence of lies. (kudos to the one dude who picked marvel specifically to go become a marvel style vampire! interesting choice, you do you! you knew better than to go for btvs or spn for that!)

DC got a lot of good votes, with plenty of people still going 'heck yeah sign me up!' even with the 'no powers' stipulation. Which I added to prevent a sweep honestly, I had a hunch that would be a deal breaker/maker for a lot of people, just from some of the comments where people picked Marvel bc they thought that meant they would get neat powers, i was right!

Buffy, Supernatural, and Grimm were three long running paranormal urban fantasy type shows, with very different spins on similar plots, so I added all three of them to see which one would do better. Buffy won that section, which is nice! (still mildly concerned for the idiots people that said 'yay i'll pick buffy bc then i can be a vampire!' but oh well).

For the MANY people who asked, I specified you are NOT a Slayer for btvs bc that's at least partially tied to whether or not you have two X chromosomes in canon, which is what we're working with here, and i didn't want to limit people. There's other avenues of strength people can go for in that world. Kudos to the many people who remembered that, technically, anyone can learn magic in the buffyverse!

I'm a bit sad Grimm only got 3.2% of votes, but i guess it IS lesser known. Really tho, if you like Buffy and Supernatural, give it a try, it's interesting! Not perfect of course, but like, there is an actual GOOD ending? That managed to close up the series after six seasons in such a way that you weren't screaming about it anyway? There's a good mix of funny and scary, and Rosalee and Munroe are CUTE together. And individually wonderfully interesting as characters! Munroe is a legitimately SCARY dude, but he's also a mildly irritating vegan and a clock nerd. The mc (Nick) IS a cop *eyeroll* and it's largely a supernatural police procedural but honestly it's not too bad about the copaganda.

BACK TO THE POINT

Honestly Hunger Games and Game of Thrones were added bc I know they're popular, even if I don't like them, and I wanted to see why people would pick them... going over the tags and notes I've read over the last few days, only a few of the people who picked either of these read the instructions. More than one person was like 'I'm too old to be chosen for the games!' (for HG) and 'i will just move to the wilderness and avoid the plot!' (for GoT) (discarding answers where the person was like 'i am picking this to die faster!' bc boring) and seemed to think that would make things fine? Like, my dudes, the hunger games are still set in a horrible dystopia. Game of Thrones is STILL gonna have that Long Winter bullshit goin' on with zombies and a bunch of idiots fighting over power while they should be doing, oh, ANYTHING else. *squints at all of you doubtfully*

And the poll specified that you cannot avoid the drama. Which is at least SOME facet of The Plot. What ever that plot may be.

And then we have the crowning glory here, a FULL 4.8% voted for the SCP universe! over 350 people! Voted for a world that contains an ugly statue that SNAPS YOUR NECK if you stop looking at it while in its presence. A world with a pinata that beats small children to death, and with poison candy that kills older children and adults but turns younger kids into a copy of itself. A world where- never mind, we'll be here all day if i go on. You do you everyone who voted for this, but I'm going to pick a world WITHOUT pattern screamers and an eldritch horror from the beyond trapped on a minecraft server.

(Dramatic joking aside, a lot of y'all that picked the SCP universe had interesting reasons! I'm glad you had fun!)

I am deliberately not adding an 'Other' option! You have to pick form the above.

Be mindful of how the bit in parenthesis, where I've added them, these are NOT things to make your lives easier! :)

After you pick, feel free to say why and then also add a world you would actually want to end up in, if you've got one!

Reblog if you vote, I'm really curious what people would choose!