#at least that has been my experience
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#tw csa#why is it that nobody cares about you as a csa survivor once you're an adult#it feels like everybody just wants you to deal with it on your own#at least that has been my experience#not even when your trauma is untreated#but by god don't you dare bother anybody with it#nobody wants to hear about bc it's uncomfortable#and therefore it's creating this environment of “don't you dare say something!!!” which is exactly what i was taught as a child#it makes me furious#like hello i didn't pick this#pls don't feel pressured to respond or anything i just need to vent#i'm sorry for the oversharing#i am going insane#venting
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"This place is called the Burial Mounds. The hatred is intense, isn't it? And the resentment too? When a living person enters this place, there's no coming back-- for the body or the soul. They can forget about ever escaping. Wei Wuxian, you, too, can forget about ever escaping."
(full resolution here)
#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#the grandmaster of demonic cultivation#mdzs fanart#wei wuxian#yiling patriarch#burial mounds#mxtx#fanart#art#i called this file “a wake” while working on it lol#do u ever think about how MXTX has declined to describe Wei Wuxian's time surviving the burial mounds the first time#because she says it would be too horrific to depict#at least after all of the suffering of his first life he eventually gets a happily ever after with his lan zhan#I wanted to portray what isn't really shown in the adaptations but could be a picture of what wwx's experience would've been like#hopefully this accomplishes that feeling#my drawings
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#felt like i needed to make this after some interactions today#i did this with burning text generator!#my overall tumblr experience has been amazing after 6 months of radio silence#this is directed at everyone who's mutuals with me. even if we are not in the same fandoms anymore or have anything in common#i still love you and get happy when i see you post/ramble about topics that are interesting to you#just fyi if we are mutuals i actively think about you with your pfp and username in mind at least once a day#<<< past rice being based with this tag#mutual appreciation#:-)
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Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will
#svsss#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#the fact that people think scum villain#-a series that examines and criticizes common tropes in fiction-#is somehow against criticism or being a little hater is wild to me#especially since shen qingqiu never gets punished for being a hater#heck- he's still a little hater by the end of the series#he mostly gets punished for treating life like a play and like he and the people around him are characters#(or in other words- he suffers for denying his own wants and emotions and his own sense of empathy)#I think some of y'all underestimate how much writing/art is inspired by creaters being little haters#like example off the top of my head-#the author of Iron Widow has been pretty vocal about the book being inspired by their hatred of Darling in the Franxx#I think my interpretation of Shen Yuan's transmigration is also supported by the fact that this series is an examines writing processes#side note- though i understand why people say Shen Yuan is lazy and think its a valid take it still doesnt sit right with me#i am probably biased because my own experiences with chronic pain and depression and isolation#but ya- i dont think Shen Yuan is lazy so much as he is deeply lonely and feels purposeless after denying parts of himself for 20ish years#like yall remember the online fandom boom from covid right?#being stuck completely alone in bed while feeling like shit for 20 days straight does shit to your brain#the fact that no one came to check on him + he wasn't exactly upset about leaving anyone behind supports the isolation interpretation too#+in the skinner demon arc he describes his life of being a faker/inability to stop being a faker now that he's Shen Qingqiu#as “so bland he's tempted to throw salt on himself” and “all he could do is lay around and wait for death” (<-paraphrasing)#bro wants to be doing stuff but is stuck in paralysis from repeatedly following scrips made by other people#another point on “Shen Yuan isn’t lazy” is just the sheer amount of studying that man does#also he did graduate college- how lazy can he really be#he doesnt know what hes doing but he at least tries to actively train his students#and he actually works on improving his own cultivation + spends quite a bit of time preping the mushroom body thing#+he's experiencing bouts of debilitating chronic pain throughout all this#but ya tldr: Shen Yuan's transmigration is an encouragement to write and not a punishment and also i dont think its fair to call him lazy
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crochawk exchange for a crochawker
#cross guild#sir crocodile#dracule mihawk#crochawk#one piece#my art#from a week ago#croc doesnt know how to use chopsticks so mihawk tried and failed to teach him how.. at least this way croc can be fed by mihawk..#(inspired by personal experience i was in mihawks position)#small secret santa thing among crochawkers#this event somewhat lifted me out of a horrible funk id been in so i'm kind of grateful for that..#crochawk has actually been my otp for over a year now
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Given that SCOTUS has anointed the office of the presidency as a monarch role beyond all reproach (so that when 45 wins in Nov as they are intending), and we’ll never have another presidential election, I wish that Biden would assume lame duck status IMMEDIATELY, call their bluff, and start issuing executive orders like crazy now through January 2025.
He could do shit like defund the military and pour the funds into social services, repeal all nationwide laws/restrictions on abortion, make all healthcare including all reproductive services and gender affirming care accessible, instate UBI and Medicare for all, write a 100% tax rate on billionaires, push sweeping environmental protections, break up monopolistic megacorps, close federal prisons, expand and pack the court, cancel all student/personal/medical/non corporate debts, open our boarders, decriminalize all drugs, etc. etc. etc.
Maybe then the 6 block justice set of 45 worshippers would see what they’ve done.
Maybe then, if Biden immediately, decisively even did 10% of that, he might not lose the election.
Of course, he’d actually have to give a shit about any of those things in order to do this.
And that’s the whole fucking point, right? He won’t. And it’s why we’re here.
Democrats hold themselves to “the rules” only to the extent they’re spineless liberals who are in the same big money pockets as republicans. The key difference being, they let republicans be the ones to more overtly, proudly kill us all and act powerless to stopping them.
When our structures demand they are the ONLY ones who could stop them. I can’t take it anymore.
#us politics#sorry but I’m in a real negative tail spin that has been increasing In intensity for a decade at least#call me a psyop if you must that’s fine but I’ll be sitting over here in Texas#crying bitter tears that fall on my 20 year old BA in political science and the death of all my Childish dreams#that this fucking failed experiment of a nation has no chance at redemption#stick a fork in her folks she’s done
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one of my favorite things about zedaph is that on a server full of people that find strange and oft-overlooked minecraft mechanics or rare events and then see just how far they can push them in the name of spectacle or efficiency or world-breaking, zed is over here finding these mechanics in order to do the weirdest things he can think of in as entertaining a manner as possible
like i 100% have faith in zedaph's theoretical ability to be just as efficient or spectacular or world-breaking. if he wanted to do that stuff, i trust that he absolutely could. but thats so far from being his priority. instead, hes going to spend around a week of irl time focused entirely on eventually having the good luck to spawn in something insanely rare so that he can convert it into something even rarer, the result of which being something that 99% of the server reacts with complete and utter shock that it even exists in the first place, just because its zany and funny and he wanted to. and i love that
#zedaph#hermitcraft#genuinely i adore the clucky few project im not even done watching the episode and i had to pause and make this post#i saw impulses video first and went ''that HAS to be some sort of datapack or something-''#only to immediately go ''no. no it cant be. because this is zed#and its practically a trademark of his to push the limits of the game as far as possible in the direction least expected#not for the purpose of efficiency or spectacle or intimidation or whatever like some players who push limits#but purely for the purpose of making something so funny you cant help but laugh at whats going on#and maybe being a bit impressed that he ever thought of it in the first place''#at which point i went ''holy shit. since its zed doing this. somehow he ACTUALLY got a villager on a chicken. with no cheats. thats INSANE'#i was relieved when i checked my subscriptions to see what the next video i had to watch was and saw he would be next in line#bc if i had to sit through 19 other hermits videos before i could watch his and find out what the fuck he was doing i would have been so sa#sidenote but i feel like a zed video where he interacts with this many other people all in the same video is so rare#idk i didnt watch season 9 and i know he started collabing a lot more w/ other hermits then#so maybe its not nearly as rare these days#but like the last one that *i* saw where he interacted with this many people at once was towards the end of season 8#when all the people he experimented on earlier in the season came back to experiment on him#and like i would like zeds videos with or without the collabs. but its a lot of fun to see him interact with people#so its very cool to me when he does it with a lot of people all in the same video
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I want to say thank you for doing your art. Helped me to be less afraid of dogs (I'm the type of person who was afraid of my neighbors toy-pudel, it's a bit awkward)
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#auwh I'm delighted to hear that! ;-;#I think there's been at least a couple of people who also said that my art has alleviated their fear of dogs to some degree#and I think that's an unexpected but very appreciated side effect! I'm quite honored#I can sympathise#from my experience people are generally reluctant to take this specific phobia seriously#which is awful since dogs are everywhere#one of my siblings is severely allergic to dogs and the other is terrified of them#answered#m-a-l-u-m
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ark aftermath
#being in the ark with knives who had gathered such immense power definitely fucked with vash's brain#their fight before the ark haunts me. what do you mean 'blackness of decay' jesus christ#it reminds me of 'youve got more of them...scars'#knives seeing that his brother is actively like. dying.#also what do u mean knives tried to merge with him. that definitely took a toll on both of them#anyway so vash has vivid hallucinations of his brother and whatnot#wolfwood hates himself for that obviously#just imagine the horror he would experience if vash called him 'knives'#vash literally spitting blood because 1) anxiety 2) hes so fucking tired and tortured and shit#he wants a break guys give him a break#but ooobviously vash (the man he is) he'll never accuse wolfwood of trapping him in the ark. of betraying him etc#so he'll just be happy to be there alive and relatively well and hope the same for his brother#at least for the time being before vash meets him and kills him#this is the longest comic ive made sorry if it feels a bit rushed/not well concluding#best i can do#its been kicking my ass for the past week and i just wanted to be done w it#trigun#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood#trigun maximum#trigun fanart#my art#millions knives#<- for a fragment of a second#what else#tw hallucinations#tw blood#tw emetophobia
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the vibe recently
#images from my puter#therian#therianthropy#alterhuman#alterhumanity#otherkin#foxkin#caninekin#silver fox therian#i find that i experience more shifts when im stressed out#so starting college has been an. interesting experience to say the least!!
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learning abt friendship decay and "not reaching out to your friends for months at a time unprompted is not neurotypical behaviour" has me feeling a certain way
#experiencing some BIG FEELINGS OVER THIS REVELATION#listen i have never ever been bothered abt not seeing someone in a while or making time to talk to them bc in my mind its like not thst muc#time has passed. i mean it with every fibre of my being that when im like 'oh its ok even though we havent talked in a while and have our#own things going on it doesnt mean we're not friends anymore since we left things on a good note 8 months ago' i sincerely believe that#and for the longest time i just thought everybody makes peace with it at some point and not automatically assuming the other person doesnt#wanna talk to me anymore or smth. my longest lasting friendships are with ppl who work the same way i just thouhght that was normal#whatever organ everybody has that makes them reach out to their friends and plan hang outs i probably dont have it#i was already hesitant to ask out Alex bc i spend almost every waking hour doing smth that isnt talking to ppl unless they happen to be in#the vicinity. and at first it was bc i planned on making sure i had everything set up so i dont get stressed out and do it one at a time#but then i find out theres a friendship decay mechanic? and after dating and marrying someone you lose -10 friendship points for every#day u dont talk to them?? actually ive probably been losing friendship points this whole time without knowing bc of this?????#and i notice a lot of my own habits are also reflected in how i play bc ive been avoiding getting close to pierre and marnie since its more#of a professional relationship. like i know theyre npcs but im approaching it the way i would in real life its fucking nuts#i think its a little relieving im playing /as/ a character than myself bc as im playing im just making up little interactions in my head#than approaching things the way i would myself so it takes a bit of the stress off trying to put myself in there as a spectator. but well#being in a relationship demands a certain amount of energy even more so when theyre things that already take up energy on its own#like making time to talk to your partner and make sure they know theyre loved. i dont always have energy to put all my mental focus into it#and this is true for real life so im not really bothered by not dating anyone. but when its a game and i want my character to be with someo#and i know its fully optional and i know i could just apply the same logic to this i dont /want/ to. sometimes i want to experience#the same things other people do at least to a certain degree without the same emotional andmental stakes#no offense krobus#yapping#stardew#stardew valley#puppy plays sdv#sdv#this game has me by the ankles man
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Pokemon Masters made a really cute halloween Iono outfit so obviously I put Courtney in it
#pokemon masters#magma admin courtney#oras#i have nothing else to tag this as its just courtney. but in ionos halloween outfit#i have some stuff in my inbox i WILL get to answering them all I promise#ive just been ultra exhausted due to work. life is stressful. but we keep on trucking!#and ive at least been having fun drawing :]#its nice to do some regular art inbetween the pixels. i love doing pixel art but sometimes i miss doing my oras sillies#so here. oras sillies#ive been fucking around with my style a lot because i keep being unhappy with what i make when its not pixels#and it has been helpin g :] its just fun to experiment with stuff#part of the reason why im drawing regular a bit more again. havin fun plus playing
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i've been stalking the batman rogues fandom since about 2019 i believe and tbh the horniest enjoyers of any iteration of the riddler are the fuckinG PAUL DANO RIDDLER STANS. i could never repeat what some of you fuckers have said to me in private .... what some of you have told me you've done ... I'M SO AFRAID OF YOU GUYS HIGHKEY???
#/lh post#AM I EXAGGERATING OR HAS MY EXPERIENCE JUST BEEN WILD?????#ITS CRAZY BCS THERE'S SO MANY SLUTTY VERSIONS OF HIM AND SOMEHOW HIS HORNIEST FANS LIKE THE LEAST SLUTTIEST ONE LIKE😭🙏#OFTEN WHEN I SEE MEMES/ART THAT SEXUALISE OTHER VERSIONS IT'S LIKE FUNNY HAHA STUFF 90% OF THE TIME#with paul dano's it's just deadass FREAKY A LOTTA THE TIMEEEE ��#AM I WRONG ??#it might be bcs the batman movie probably has a larger reach than a lotta other things (?)#cus most of his appearances are older shoes; in comic books; a side character in newer shows; the arkham games#and as big as the arkham games are there are obvious budget restrictions#whereas the batman movie has that larger mainstream appeal ?#IDK !! that's my guess. HE'S THE NEWEST ONE & ISTG I HAVE FOUND FREAKIER STUFF FROM HIM THAN THE OTHERS W/O EVEN WANTING TO 😭#batman 2022#batman rogues#dc#dc comics#comics#movies#the riddler#edward nigma#edward nygma#edward nashton#paul dano#paul dano riddler#rogues gallery#gotham rogues#there is gotham ed ig
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For anyone else who is gonna struggle surviving the next 3 weeks with the angsty and tense situation of Callowmoore here's a few things from the last 2 episodes that I feel were underrated and will assist in trying to keep me sane/emotionally stable: - Matching messed up hands built for holding - Fearne nervously playing with her hair as she approaches Ashton - Ashton wanted Fearne to be either the last thing they saw if they died or the first thing they saw when they succeeded - Fearne's admittance corroborates Ashley's 4SD revelation that Fearne is in love with someone in the party but doesn't know how to process the emotions - Fearne wanted Ashton to be happy, while Ashton wanted to feel whole so they would be worthy of the Hells - Ashton twice tried to lead a search for Fearne, and instantly clocking onto Chetney saying he followed Fearne - Fearne making herself look as radiant as possible before giving Ashton the cold shoulder - Ashton only rose to Chetney's provocations until he said 'You hurt Fearne' Use how you will
#godspeed my poor damaged psyche#critical role#bells hells#callowmoore#ashton greymoore#fearne calloway#fearne x ashton#ashton x fearne#strangely enough I don't enjoy having a dark and sad pit sitting in my chest day to day#3 weeks and we don't even get a cute M9 reunion in between to distract us? this was worse than Callowmoore's sistergate 3 week wait#also 'a little'? Sweetie people don't jump into lava for a little you got the big L and it's not Lesbian(s)#Feel like Laudna was a bit cruel this ep (Ash has been there for her a ton and she kinda villainized him) but we'll put it down to Delilah#much of Ashton's trauma has been overlooked or left to them to internalize but still nobody has told them that they are loved#and Ashton Greymoore needs to be told they're loved! (by Fearne)#but yeah time for more positive mental scenarios that 99% won't happen (but when that 1% does ho boy)#couldn't have just had Fearne go 'no talking' and sleep on Ash's chest to hear their heartbeat as her touch soothes Ash's pain could we?#or final fight scenarios where Ludinus is a walking harness and Ashton tricks them into absorbing their titan powers so he'd explode#they could've even had a talk in the woods because they wanted to find her so bad but was not gonna test Imogen's patience#I for one though will have at least one where Ashton seeks out Mori for advice (Fearne too but separately)#Tal I need you to use all your romantic arsenal in the feywild (Percy's worst travel experience) to win back Ashley's beautiful faun girl#bonus prompts for 'You will always be perfect to me' and 'Promise you'll come back to me' they pop up often in my scenarios#taliesin jaffe#ashley johnson
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not to be a bitch but like. i can never take "ohhhh kon is soOOoOoo sad about tim/ber uwaahhhh he's in love with tim but it's unrequited waaahhhh" angst seriously because like... i get it, the only thing you know about kon is that he's the other half of a popular m/m tim ship, but uh. rebirth kon is living an existential fucking nightmare. i think he's got way bigger fish to fry than whether the tim who only kind of remembers him at all is dating some other guy lmao
#rebirth tim even after getting his memories of kon back feels more like at least some of them are very vague and dreamlike#and of course ymmv interpretation wise but to me. if my friend no longer remembers formative experiences they shared with me clearly#i would not feel like they are the exact same friend i lost. i think that's a horrifying kind of grief. this is not the same person#like in yj19 tim refers to the memory yj98 issue 7 camping trip as being like a dream he once had#and kon has to be like uh that was real#like SORRY I JUST DON'T THINK HE'S THAT PRESSED ABOUT PRIME EARTH TIM'S DATING LIFE LMAO#SUPERMAN doesn't remember him and you're telling me he's moping about BERNARD??????#anyway. this has been another episode of ''i like timkon but everyone else in the timkon tag is my fucking enemy'' with rimi merils#holds up a knife. appreciate kon as a character outside of tim or else. i am no longer asking#rimi talks#kon
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I just think Tallulah gets to be upset about this. “It’s not Wilbur’s fault” “He’s not a bad dad” “He loves his daughter so much” yes! These are all true! And it’s not his fault! But he’s still not there. And Tallulah has gone through so much and still hasn’t seen him, the one time he was around was the one time she wasn’t, and all she has are letters and “I’m thinking of you always” and things that used to be theirs together, but he’s still not there. She’s waited and she’s been patient and she’s loved him all the same, and he’s still not there. Like yesterday, and the day before, and the day before, from the happy milestones to the traumatic events, he’s still not there.
She knows that it’s not his fault, but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s absent. That in and of itself just adds to the sorrow, because she knows why he’s gone, and she’s been told time and time again it doesn’t mean he doesn’t care, she knows this - it doesn’t mean it doesn’t sting, that it doesn’t hurt, that she doesn’t yearn for her father to be there more than anything in the world, and he’s just not there.
So yes, she gets to be upset, and be caustic, and stomp her feet and write bitter messages, and be angry and vitriolic, because she’s a little girl missing her father, who feels things with her whole heart and soul - and that means she gets to feel the ugly parts of it, too.
#it’s like no wilbur isn’t at fault. especially if we’re talking about cc wilbur. but fuck man of course she’s gonna feel like this#this doesn’t make wilbur a bad person! he’s just a missing one. and Tallulah feels all the misery and bitterness as a daughter left behind#where is her father kissing her injuries and reassuring her? where is her father protecting her? hugging her at the end of the day?#Wil isn’t around to do this and she wants him back and he’s not going to be back. not for a while. and it’s not his fault but it doesn’t#stop it from being upsetting. she’s a little girl#and at least she has phil. her dad. who’s there time and time again. and it doesn’t make him somehow morally better or wtevr. he’s there an#Wil is not. and he’s going to continue to be there as a solid figure in tallulahs life that she needs#idk man like. fuck#lmao relating my own experiences from here below in the tags ✌️#as someone who’s been in that position? a parent absent for reasons outside of control? yeah it’s sucks. and I love them and they love me#*with a parent I mean I wasn’t the parent lmao#and it will never be the same. and when they were gone and missing things I was furious at them#that resentment grows and then it fades and sometimes bitterness strikes again and it’s how it goes. love is still there#and it’s no one’s fault. it just is. and what is is messy#anyways#mcyt#qsmp#q!tallulah#q!wilbur#z speaks
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