#at least someone got to go to a party this year

[fools-ramblings-and-whatnot]

Drabbles: Pajamas and Slumber parties

It was a gag gift. A funny group thing Yuu saw on Magicam.

So with little money they had, Yuu ordered the silly thing online for the next time the first years and them had their slumber party at Ramshackle dorm.

When time came and the first years opened up the gift, they cackled at their friends reactions.

"What the Sevens is this Prefect?!"

Yuu just laughed, reminding them that they called the shots tonight.

The first years, when they got together, friends as they may be, always got into a fight which resulted in some damage to the Ramshackle. Whether it was tossling over who gets to pick the movie, fighting over who gets to use the only functional bathroom first, or what time is lights out.

It was chaotic.

So, to lessen future damage, they had made a comprise that every meeting a new person calls in the shots and gets to decide how the slumber party would go.

It just happens to be Yuu's turn. So the Prefect decidedd in a fun friendly activity such as wearing matching pajamas...which is customized, the front having the printed photos of all of the first years in a collage, while the back had " If lost, return to Yuu" embroidered for the rest of them, except for Yuu who had "I'm Yuu" embroidered instead. Ofcourse, Grim has his pajama,too!

"I'm gonna burn this"

"Don't you dare, Ace!"

"This is ridiculous!"

" Its the least you could do after breaking my coffee table in a brawl last time, Epel!"

"This is undignified!"

"Be a good guest, Sebek. Thats not pretty noble of you!I'm the host and I also call the shots tonight"

"Thank you, Prefect..uh..I'll make sure to treasure this !"

"I'd rather you wear it, Deuce."

"I'm out..."

"Jack, fair is fair. We did cactus cultivating last time."

*Defeated sigh*

"I look uncool!"

"No way, yes you do Grim! You're ultracool!

"Its great prefect, thank you!"

"Finally, someone appreciates my work. Thanks Ortho!"

Also, imagine there's another emegency and Crowley just poofs the prefect away from their dorm to their office, but takes the other first years with them cuz magic.

*First years, Grim and Yuu in their silly pajamas, faces covered in facemasks while still holding unto game controllers*

*Crowley, yapping away, doesn't care about the state he poofed them in *

*Dorm leaders and vice dorm leaders, who were also called in for an emergency meeting, staring at their respective first years*

It looks like this but imagine the first years faces instead of the dog. And the cat pawprints instead.

[fallstaticexit]

Prev / Next / Beginning / Pillowfort

AN: TW this post contains a homophobic slur.

Transcript under the cut

Professor Munch: Everyone, this is Nancy. She’s one of my favorite students. I am so glad she can join us this evening to observe our weekly GSA meeting.

Nancy: And what is a GSA?

Morgan: It stands for Gay–Straight Alliance. It’s just a safe space for queer kids to hang out and talk about real world issues.

Knox: Yeah, we go out and do stuff off campus. It’s pretty tight.

Nancy: Queer? So...this is a club for homosexuals?

Darling: [sucks teeth]

Knox: [chuckles nervously] I mean, sure I guess? Me and Morgan are bisexual. That means we dig the fellas and the ladies, heh.

Professor Munch: What’s important is that this space is for everyone, from all walks of life. We support each other here, no matter who you love. We keep each other safe. That’s why I invited you to sit in on our session. I figured you could use a friend or two-

Nancy: Ugh! Oh my God? You think I’m- I’m not like that, ok!?

Nancy: I am not a homosexual! What the hell made you think I’d want to be apart of something like this?

Professor Munch: No, dear- I’m not implying you’re like anything! This club welcomes all people. I thought you could use the support. Why, your brother started the very first GSA at this school-

Nancy: Oh, don’t you fucking dare! My brother wasn’t some depraved pervert and I’m not a d****!

Darling: [jumps up, chair scrapes hardwood floor] What the fuck did you just say? You can’t come up in calling people that shit!

Nancy: I-I didn’t! All I’m saying is that I’m not like that! I’m not like you-

Darling: Not like who? Not like a d?****?

Darling: What the fuck is your problem? Munch, who is this bitch?

Professor Munch: Easy, Dee. Calm down-

Darling: Don’t fucking tell me to calm down! You let some straight white girl walk in here and say something we heard screamed at us our whole fucking life! Say it again! I dare you!

Professor Munch: That’s enough! Please! Let me handle this.

Nancy: [between sobs] M’sorry...m’so sorry...

Professor Munch: [sighs] Just, take some time to think about this, Nancy. Look inward.

Nancy Narrates: [Look inward] x3

Nancy: If it’s ok...I’d like to apologize.

Professor Munch: Everyone? Is it alright if Nancy speaks?

Morgan: I don’t mind.

Darling: [sighs] Whatever man.

Nancy: [exhales] When I first heard that word, I was 11 years old. My mother found letters I wrote to my pen pal. She mailed a photo of herself from her birthday party, she wore this really pretty yellow dress with little blue flowers on them.

Nancy: Yellow is my favorite color, so I said she was as pretty as a sunflower. My mother tore up the letter and made me rewrite it. She looked me right in the eyes and said, ‘do you want someone to read this and think you’re a-’

Nancy: She said it again when was 14, a girl from my ballet troupe was only brushing my hair. She pulled me from the class. She said it again two years ago, when she found out that I fell in love with-

Nancy: I know that word hurts because it’s been said to hurt me even though I’m not... It doesn’t matter if I’m not, I shouldn’t have said it. It was a horrible thing to do. I am so incredibly sorry.

Professor Munch: Thank you for sharing your story. This is what GSA is about. Coming together, creating a community, and creating safe spaces. Dee, is there anything you want to say to Nancy? Anything you’d like to speak on or about how you feel?

Darling: Nah...

Nancy Narrates: [I knew that an apology alone wouldn't suffice to mend the situation. When it came to friendships, I didn’t know how to genuinely make amends, but as a Landgraab, I knew that I could leverage my wealth and status to create a meaningful impact]

Morgan: You got us the biggest hall on campus?! Nancy, this is sick as fuck!

Professor Munch: [laughs] I’ll have to agree with Morgan for lack of a better word. This is sick as heck! I don’t know where to begin to thank you for this gift.

Nancy: It’s the least I could do. Now you can stop meeting in that tiny corner in the commons.

Darling: Charity work for your little sorority, huh? What’s with you, yo?

Nancy: What do you mean?

Darling: You’re so rich, you just buy your way through shit?

Nancy: It’s how I was raised.

Darling: I can’t figure you out.

Nancy: I promise, I’m not a bad person.

Darling: We’re not like everyone else on campus. We’ll show you something real. You gotta be real with us too.

Nancy Narrates: [I found myself wanting to do exactly that—to show them the real me, whoever she was]

Siobhan: I’m planning a party for the Thetas Friday night. Perfect opportunity for you to bond with your sisters.

Nancy: I’m a little busy Friday night...maybe next time?

Siobhan: Being apart of a sorority is more than just the cute merch and bragging rights. We’re involved with the community and with this campus. As a pledge, I do expect you to commit to these things.

Nancy: I know and I will. I just need to take care of something.

Siobhan: [sighs] Don’t let me down, sister.

[the group murmurs excitedly]

Professor Munch: You did all this, Nancy?

Nancy: I hope it’s ok I’m here. I figured you could break in your new room with a movie night. Everything is already taken care of, and I bought a ton of movies ranging from comedy to horror and everything in between. They’re all yours to keep! Same with the popcorn machine. I know I’m using money again to impress you but... I guess I’m still trying to figure out what it means to be real. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it all.

Morgan: Yeah, not so fast. Stick around, watch a movie with us!

Nancy: Are you sure?

Knox: Of course we’re sure, squirt.

[dullgecko]

I think that if Riz were to like actually sleep on his own, and like actually sleep *well*, he'd need like a whole set up. Like he needs a white noise machine at a specific volume to block out his thoughts, but not so loud he can't still hear the world around him. He needs a sleepytime tea, it needs to be dark, possibly enclosed. Bonus points if there's someone else there. He makes due with four hours of passible sleep because I don't think he has ever put that much thought into sleeping.

The person with the next neediest sleep needs is probably Fabian, who can sleep in adventurer standard places, but he's so much more used to sleeping on expensive sheets. After Sophmore year you know it's cream sheets all the way. He has a white noise that plays mostly ocean sounds, and an entire skin care routine that he does at home. Kristen is probably the laxest sleeper, and could sleep anywhere, honestly. She can actually get rested from how Riz sleeps normally.

Goblins prefer sleeping around other people, it helps them maintain body heat and makes them feel more secure. They also need just a baseline level of noise from other people so they know there's someone on watch. If the entire horde is asleep at the same time things are liable to get in and eat them.

Riz's moms not home at the same time he is very much, and if they are home at the same time she's usually exhausted from work and sleeping so Riz just stays awake and works on stuff so she can get a good nights rest. His mom and dad would go to bed at different times when he was little so they could swap off who would keep watch, but its just the two of them now and Riz is a self-sacrificing idiot for the people he loves.

If he's by himself and exhausted and actually has the energy to get ready and go to bed rather than passing out at his desk or on the couch its a whole ordeal. He'll have something hot to drink that's not coffee, have some melatonin tablets (his circadian rhythm is completely shot from being a nocternal creature going to school during the day), he'll have a hot shower and get changed, and he'll smoosh up into the tiniest ball possible in one corner of his bed. He still doesnt sleep super well like that though.

He's actually better rested now that he's in highschool because he has friends who are so much larger than he is with comfortable bags. He'll usually at least get a solid nap in two to three times a week because the background noise of his friends classes, combined with the knowledge that they're awake and 'keeping watch' makes him fall asleep easier.

Fabian can sleep practically anywhere if need be. Sitting upright against a tree, on an uncomfortable sleeping mat, straight up on the ground, on a rocking ship. ANYWHERE. He is, however, a man with refined tastes and if he's given the option of luxury he will grab it with both hands. His party was actually a little shocked because they thought he would be the most precious about how he sleeps but if they're on an adventure he doesn't really give a shit. This is how adventurers do it. If he's at home though it takes him a whole hour to get ready for bed.

Fabian is Riz's favorite party member to nap on partly because he doesn't move around very much in his sleep too. Gorgug tends to toss and turn a little and the first time Riz crashed next to him he nearly got squished. Kristen is straight up a menace in her sleep and kicks so she's also a no-go and Adaine wakes up too easily if he lies down near her and he doesnt want to disturb her. Fig is a close second to Fabian but only in winter or if he's pissed off at their fighter for some reason (he considers her basically his sister by this point so she gets all the cuddles when he's in a cranky mood. its not weird they're family their parents are dating).

Kristen is one of those infuriating people who, even if they only got three hours of sleep, is super chipper and loud most mornings. Noone is sure how she does it given that she should be exhausted all the time from the gymnastics she does in her sleep. Her party is convinced its some weird cleric thing.

Fig is fairly normal about her sleep arangements. She just needs somewhere comfortable and horizontal preferably with a pillow. She is a hugger though and if you get too close while she's half-asleep you'll get trapped. Before the whole archdevil thing she also needed a decent sleeping bag but now she's totally fine until it gets to the point there's snow on the ground.

Gorgug like Fabian can sleep in the most uncomfortable positions if need be. He sleeps better if his party is close by though, preferable touching, otherwise his heart rate spikes in his sleep sometimes and he'll rage. If his friends are close they keep him calm and he gets a better nights sleep, even if he's in a weird position that will leave him sore in the morning.

[bvbygrl-writes]

Trick or Treat

Pairing: Stu Macher x Reader x Billy Loomis

Word Count: 3.5k

Summary: It's Halloween and you find yourself experiencing both a trick and a treat.

A/N: As usual I didn't proof read. I know people wanted a part two to Wrong House but this unfortunately is not that. I offer this as consolation. There will be no part two of this one either. 18+ so minors and accounts without age dni or I'll block you.

Warnings: dubcon, mentions of blood and a dead body, painal, double penetration, dacryphilia, roughness, use of the pet name bunny, dark themes, just absolute sinfulness

The Senior Halloween Bash was something people started preparing for months in advance, as it was a big honor to attend. And, despite the fact that a string of murders was happening in the area, that was not enough to kill the hype for the party. Well, it was enough for (Y/n) but not enough for her best friends who were not going to let her get out of going to another party. Plus, as they had reminded her at least one hundred times, she had promised she’d go.

“I’m not sure how practical this outfit is.” (Y/n) remarked, grimacing as she snapped the fishnets against her skin. The entire costume was uncomfortable, tight, and unbearably itchy. The most form fitting thing she had ever worn was a tank top and even then, she never left the house in them. Going from flannel to the Easter Bunny’s Mistress was not going to be easy to adjust to. The feathers cuffs on the gloves were driving her insane already, causing her to scratch at her arms aggressively. Molly swatted her hand, glaring at her overly dramatic friend.

“Come on, (Y/n/n), it’s not that bad! Plus you look super hot. It’s one night. Let’s live a little.” she whined out, pouting as she leaned over the girl’s shoulder in the mirror. (Y/n) observed their appearances. Molly had dressed as a beer tavern maid and Toni, the quietest of the three, was a sexy pirate, her hook hand doubling as a flask which most certainly would need to be refilled before they left. 

“Living is exactly what I’m worried about. If the killer is at the party, I won’t be making it five steps in these damn Barbie pumps!” (Y/n) huffed out. She held onto the vanity as she stood up, her ankles wobbling. “I can’t even walk, how do you expect me to last all night?” Molly simply ignored her complaining, fluffing her hair up a little. The (h/c) looked down at the smell of rum under her nose. Toni’s plastic hook was opened at the top as she tipped the remaining amount of liquid towards her friend's mouth.

“I think you need this a little more than I do.” Toni slurred her words slightly, giving her friend a lazy smile. (Y/n) shook her head, pushing the hook back towards her.

“Someone’s gotta be sober enough to drive and considering you’ve had half a pint of rum and Molly took an edible half an hour ago, that really only leaves me,” she took a moment to take in her very pink appearance once more, sighing as she grabbed the keys from the top of Molly’s dresser on the way out, “Let’s get going before I change my mind.”

The party was in full swing at Shane’s mansion. Despite the fact he had been out of high school for four years, he still insisted on hosting the party at his place every year. For free booze, free food, and such a nice pad, nobody really complained. He got to smash girls who were freshly eighteen and they got a place to party with their friends. It was a win all around. 

It had only been fifteen minutes and (Y/n) already found herself separated from the girls she had come with. Toni had gotten whisked away by some girl in a Cat Woman costume and Molly…well, she was gone before they had even made it through the back door. The pain in her feet was becoming unbearable and unfortunately, there was no place that looked optimal enough to sit. The couch was filled with her half naked peers, making out with one another. The loungers outside were more or less in the same position.

Grabbing a slice of pizza from one of the many open boxes, she made her way upstairs, the music growing quieter as she made her way down the long corridor. Her eyes landed on the set of double doors at the end, a large ‘OFF LIMITS’ sign plastered on the front. To socialize or to lock herself in one of the only unoccupied rooms? The choice was not too hard to make. Carefully, she looked both ways before hobbling towards the double doors, opening them without a second thought.

The bedroom was massive and from the decor choice, she assumed it belonged to Shane’s parents for the rare times they found themselves home. A large king size bed with a lush comforter set on a rounded platform against the wall. On the other side of the room was a black leather couch, what she hoped was a fake bear rug, and an unlit fireplace. Taking her shoes off, she let out a relieved groan as she kicked them to the side. “Hello, sweetheart.” she purred at the empty bed, sprinting up the small steps before throwing herself onto it, stomach up. She began to make snow angels, the soft fleece making a swishing noise as she did so.

However, she couldn’t fully enjoy herself. There was a dripping noise coming from the ensuite that was driving her up the wall. Sighing, she reluctantly threw her legs over the side of the bed. “Rich people. Who doesn’t check their appliances before going on vacation?” she scoffed, shaking her head as she opened up the bathroom door. Her hand searched the side for a light switch until she felt a bump under her gloved fingers. Flicking it, she let out a horrified scream. Blood covered the walls and floor. In the tub, she recognized the girl. Jessica from her AP English class. Her curly hair was tousled and ratty, eyes wide open. Whatever she had last seen absolutely terrified her from her permanent shocked expression. Trailing her eyes down, (Y/n) could saw the dripping was a result of the blood running down her neck to the tips of her fingers, dribbling down into a pool of crimson on the floor.

(Y/n) felt sick to her stomach. It was taking everything in her to not pass out, throw up, or hell, even do a combination of both. With a hand over her mouth, she slowly began to back out of the door. She couldn’t bear to look at this any longer. She had to call the cops! Her steps were suddenly interrupted from a wall that wasn’t there before. A warm, breathing wall. A strong arm wrapped around her torso, holding her in her spot.

“Where do you think you’re hopping off to, little bunny?” The gravelly voice said in a humorous tone that she found to be extremely inappropriate given the circumstances. Her breath hitched in her throat as she began to stutter nonsensical words, begging her brain to piece together some english.

“I-I won’t tell anyone! Please just- just let me go!” she stuttered out, her voice cutting in and out in fear. The arm around her middle shifted, the hand splaying across her torso. Her legs began to tremble as a pair of lips trailed down her neck before pausing at her ear.

“Now where’s the fun in that, hm?” he chuckled. The strange man loosened his hold some, beginning to walk backwards with her. Her eyes flickered to her heels only a bit away from the two of them. Should she risk it? If he was the one responsible for the mess in the bathroom, chances are he was armed and more than capable of using his weapon. But if she didn’t try, would her fate still be the same? ‘Focus, (Y/n). You only have one shot.’ Without waiting a moment more, (Y/n) dropped her weight to the ground, quickly shimming across the carpeted floor. His arm gripped her leg, dragging her closer to him causing her to scream, jabbing the heel into the space between his neck and shoulder. The man groaned, falling back onto the ground.

 “Fuck!” he screamed out. Turning towards the door, a man with brown hair stood in front of the doorway. He had on a cloak and what you assumed was fake blood. (Y/n)’s eyes widened as she recognized him. Billy Loomis, a boy she had many classes with. He usually wasn’t very talkative but he was very helpful, always letting her borrow his notes when she missed school.

“Billy!” she exclaimed, wrapping her arms around him as she managed to scramble up from the floor. “Thank god, you’ve gotta help me! There’s a girl dead in the bathroom!” (Y/n) wailed out. Billy stayed silent, wrapping an arm around her waist. His expression was blank as he looked down at her. Confusion overtook the girl as she looked up at him. “Billy? We need to get help!” her fear rose to another level as he began to laugh, using his free hand to move a piece of hair from her face.

“Surely you didn’t think that was a one man job, Bunny. Come on, I know you’re smarter than that.” he cooed out in a faux sympathetic tone. (Y/n) felt her whole body shaking and if it wasn’t for Billy’s firm grip around her, she surely would’ve fallen to the ground. But, it wasn’t as if her current position was any better. Using his teeth, Billy pulled off his glove, caressing her cheek with a calloused hand before turning her around to face the other man. A gasp fell from her lips, another one of her peers, Stu Macher. The blonde was now standing, massaging the bruised spot where she had attempted to stab him. The severity of the situation was now looming over her. She was trapped in a room at a loud party, where no one would hear her screams, with the killers responsible for all the deaths that had occurred in the past month. “Since you’ve already gotten the trick, it’s only fair you get the treat too.”

“I-I’d hardly consider murder to be a treat.” she stuttered out. Both men looked at each other, sinister cackles leaving their mouths. Stu marched over to her, tilting her head up towards him.

“We’re not gonna kill ya, Bunny. But I don’t doubt you’ll be screaming like we were!” he exclaimed in his gravelly tone. (Y/n) found herself relieved until she realized what he meant. They were planning to have their way with her and if she was honest, she wasn’t exactly opposed to the idea. Having sex with two of the hottest guys in senior year versus being brutally murdered like Jessica had? She’d choose the first any day. Jessica would get her justice but, it wouldn’t be from her. She was dragged from her thoughts as Billy’s large hands began to toy with her breast over her bodysuit.

 Her eyes flit close, lips parting as a soft moan fell from her lips. She could hear Stu growl before feeling his soft lips on hers, catching her off guard. She quickly reciprocated, allowing him to lead the kiss as he began to violate her mouth. The feeling of his tongue piercing was new and foreign, making the intoxicating motions of his tongue even more sinful. The blonde grabbed her hand, moving it to the tent present in the front of his pants. If his bulge was any indicator of the size, she was surely in for a treat. Stu’s hand traveled to the crotch of her bodysuit, massaging her cunt over the velvety fabric, rippling a muffled whine from her lips. The wetness grew, leaving a dark mark where his hands were working magic. He pulled away from her lips, his eyes focusing in on it. Her face grew warm with embarrassment. Had she always gotten worked up so easily or was the danger she was in adding to her arousal? Billy gripped her jaw, forcing her to look down as Stu toyed with her.

“Don’t get shy now, Bunny. You weren’t when you made the decision not to wear any underwear with this little get up.” Billy said in a disapproving tone. His free hand moved to pull the front of her suit down some, revealing her breast to the two of them. Stu whistled some before flicking her hardening nipple on her left breast.

“You’re so reactive! I bet it won’t take much to get ya to cum will it, Bunny?” He commented before latching onto her breast. A shuddery breath left her mouth at the sensation. The ball of his cold tongue piercing swirling around her nipple with hunger. Billy removed his hand from her face, trailing it down her chest before engulfing her remaining breast with a firm grip. 

He massaged it in a circular motion before pinching her hardened bud. (Y/n) moaned, resting her weight back on Billy’s chest. Reaching her free hand back, she began to play with the short hairs at the nape of his neck, giving Stu’s now fully erect cock a firm squeeze. The blonde growled, tugging on her nipple gently, sending a wave of pleasure to her throbbing clit. He pulled away from her chest with a pop before dropping to his knees, spreading her legs. She watched as his hands ripped at the fabric, leaving a large hole in her tights and bodysuit. His left hand massaged at her clit slowly in contrast to his right hand which roughly shoved two thick digits into her sopping hole. (Y/n) winced at the intrusion, the pain short lived as his fingers expertly massaged at her walls. A string of high pitch noises left her as he scissored his fingers inside her, stretching her out.

Billy tilted her head towards him, taking her into a sloppy open mouth kiss. His tongue overtook hers with ease as he gripped her throat roughly, leaving her with little air. He nipped at her bottom lip before pulling away, looking into her eyes intensely. She felt like a captured prey and at the moment, she technically was. But, even as he wrapped his hand around her neck firmly, she couldn’t find it in her to care. “I want your eyes on me as you cum. Don’t you dare look away.” he commanded in a deep tone. (Y/n) nodded to the best of her ability, staring into his dark eyes. They examined her face carefully, taking in every flinch and quiver of her lips. His arm tightened around her waist as her knees began to buckle. With every thrust of Stu’s fingers, she could feel herself growing closer.

Her (e/c) eyes struggled to stay open as he began to suck at her clit, his tongue licking up every bit of arousal that spilled from her. Stu’s fingers disappeared into her deeper, curving upwards until he hit that spongy spot inside of her. (Y/n)’s eyes widened, her lips parting as another loud moan ripped from her. “There it is!” Stu growled out before delving his head back down, his fingers applying more pressure to her g-spot as his lips sucking on her clit with an entirely new level of strength. 

The contrast of his fast working tongue combined with the languid feeling of his fingers massaging her spot was enough to send her over the edge. Her legs began to shake violently, labored breaths causing her chest to rise and fall like crashing waves. Billy’s grip on her throat tightened, reminding her of his words. She struggled greatly with keeping her eyes open as pleasure washed over her, the knot in her stomach unraveling completely. Tears of pleasure streamed down from the intensity of it all, her lips quivering as she whimpered pathetically. She had never experienced an orgasm so intense, so prolonged before. Her pussy was unbearably sensitive, a new feeling forming in the pit of her stomach. Billy smirked, wiping her tears with his thumb before bringing it to his lips. Her eyes widened as a gush of clear liquid began to gush from her in a long stream, soaking Stu from below her. Billy took his eyes from her to watch, groaning at the sight, her cunt continuing to squirt. Her eyes clenched shut as she screamed in pleasure. She was already reaching her limit and they hadn’t even gotten to fucking her yet. The flow came to a gradual stop, her body jolting in after shocks as she panted. 

The girl felt her body being lifted, the feeling of the soft bed returning under her. Billy slapped her face, her eyes flying open in alarm. “You’re not tapping out already. The fun hasn’t even started yet.” he teased. (Y/n) groaned, propping herself up on shaky elbows. The two men were now nude from the waist down, their cocks fully erect. Her eyes followed Billy as he climbed onto the bed behind her, pulling her towards him with ease. His cock was wedged between her open legs, giving her a closer look. What he lacked in length, he certainly had in girth. “It’s a shame that tail on your ass isn’t a plug because,” he pushed her forward, ripping the tail from the back of her bodysuit, leaving a clean hole where her butt was, “You’re really gonna wish it was.” Before she could climb away, he pulled her back into his lap, aligning the tip of his cock with her rear. Her eyes widened at the feeling of his thick head pressed against her virgin hole.

 Any protest she had fell onto deaf ears as the tip of his cock pushed in. He was nowhere near fully in yet but the burning was so painful. It felt as if he was splitting her in half, forcing his thick cock into her unexplored hole. Her throat was growing raw as she screamed, only seeming to egg him on. She was so out of it that she completely missed Stu’s presence, holding her legs up as he aligned himself with her front. Her teary eyes shot open as his cock slid into her cunt with one swift motion, his head thrown back in pleasure. Billy was now fully situated inside of her, the burning of her ass a bit more dull but still present. She could feel them both pressed against the thin wall separating them, the feeling was indescribable. And despite the pain, she couldn’t recall a time she had felt so much pleasure.

“You’re so pretty when you’re screamin’, Bunny. Couldn’t resist shoving my cock into you.” Stu said through gritted teeth, folding her legs back as he began to thrust into her. Billy wrapped his arms around her waist with a bruising force, holding her up just an inch above his lap as he began to pound her at an assaulting pace. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head, tongue lolling out of the side of her mouth lazily. She was aware she was babbling, but her brain was completely disconnected from her body. Stu pulled his cock mostly out before slamming back into her, the three of them moaning in unison. With each movement, their cocks brushed against the thin lining of her walls, sending a volt of pleasure straight to her clit. The blonde leaned over her open mouth, spitting directly into her mouth. She began to choke, gasping for the air that seemed to no longer be present in the room.

“Don’t be-be rude, Bunny. Swallow it like a good girl. Here, I’ll help you.” Billy said, sticking his fingers down her throat. (Y/n) gagged, swallowing around his fingers. The brunette growled, looking at her with hungry eyes. Stu whimpered, his hips stuttering a bit as he looked upon, his cock twitching inside of her.

“Oh fuck!” he whined out. He was close, but he refused to be the first one to come. Moving one of his hands, he began to rub at the girl’s clit roughly, his thrust growing more sloppy. (Y/n) screamed around Billy’s fingers, her eyes rolling back into her head. Her holes began to pulsate around their cocks, causing them to let out a string of swears. “She’s close, Bill.”

“You’re almost there, Bunny. Make a mess on our cocks. Be a good fucking girl!” and right on cue, (Y/n) felt herself snap. Her pussy began to gush around Stu’s cock as she sobbed, her mascara running down her face. She began to thrash in their hold, rabid speaks of tongue flying out of her mouth. Billy removed his fingers from her mouth, choking her harshly as he buried himself deep in her ass, hot streams of cum filling her to the brim. Stu came only a millisecond after, burying his face in her chest as he painted her walls white, collapsing on top of the pile. Their cum spilled out of her, making its way onto the fleece blanket. None of them noticed as they panted, two pairs of hands trailing along her body. 

Stu pulled himself up on shaky arms, hovering above her. (Y/n) looked up at him through blurry vision as he gently moved her hair back, adjusting the pair of ears on her head.

“How’s that for a treat?”

[itsnathateasy]

Armin Week | Day 8 | SFW Prompts | Blind / Deaf Armin OR Birthday

word count: 1,9k warnings: a couple lingerie remarks author’s note: firstly, i couldn’t decide on armin planning your birthday or you planning his, so i did both! secondly, idk what it is with me and dj!connie?? i swear he sucks at it but baby boi loves mixing the tunes yk? i couldn’t deny him anything if i wanted to!

@armin-week-2024

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Armin plans your birthday…

To someone like Armin, birthdays are a big deal, his birthday is a big deal, your birthday is a big deal, his friends’ birthdays are a big deal. He’s the type of person who has his calendars and planners marked with all of his favourite people’s birthdays and he also marks when he should start preparing for them. You were so used to this habit of his, he always got so excited and took care of even minor details. He put so much effort into it all, it was so cute to watch him do all of these things and you often helped him too; running an errand concerning the gift or texting the birthday person to hang out so that you could distract them while Armin and the rest of the group decorated the house and baked the cake.

Even though you knew how Armin was, you never expected anything extravagant for your birthday. You knew he was probably up to something, but didn’t want to pry; his plans never failed, you had no reason to worry. He’d give you an amazing birthday. However, you did want to take care of some preparations on your own, so you decide to let him know”. You know it’s my birthday in two weeks, right?” “Oh! So close already! I didn’t realise”. This was weird of him to say but you decided to brush it off. He was probably just playing dumb to make the surprise even better. “I know, right? I just wanted to ask you to not take care of the cake or candles. I’ve something particular in mind, I’d like to organise it myself. Is that okay? I know you love baking cakes with Jean and Sasha”. “Yeah yeah, that’s totally fine! No need to worry!” he said as he gave you a big smile and awkwardly gave you a thumbs with both of his fists.

Now, that’s fishy.

The days went by, not a sign of your upcoming surprise. Armin had gotten so good at this, you couldn’t find any clues in your shared apartment. Where were all the decorations and baking ingredients? You even checked his spotify and he’d make no new playlists.

You couldn’t help but feel a bit disheartened. Was he not in the mood to plan your birthday? Was your birthday not important anymore? Were YOU not important anymore? Was he tired of you? Did he want to break up and hadn’t found it in him to break the news right before your special day? As those thoughts kept circling in your mind, you realised you couldn’t help it. If Armin wanted to break up with you, he’d have to own it and face you. But you weren’t going to simply let your most special day of the year go by. You’d plan your own birthday and Armin could piss off.

The next two days were hectic for you. You still had three days to go but there were simply too many things to take care of and your life was already busy as it was. On those days, you barely saw Armin, which totally broke your heart. He really should talk to you about it. Even if you were to break up, you deserved to know, right?

You unlocked the door to your apartment, hands full of bags with all that you needed for your party; snacks, decorations, disposable straws and table cloths, ribbons and cards to write to your friends for their presents. Your phone was buzzing all day with texts of your friends that accepted your invitation and said they’d be there. Armin could never plan this as good as you could. As you managed to squeeze through your front door, you realised the apartment was completely dark, a sign that Armin hadn’t been home at all, or at least the kitchen lights would be on. Armin wasn’t home much these days either. Where was he even? What kept him this busy after work? “Ugh, honestly, fuck him. It’s my birthday after all!” you said aloud. While still setting the bags on the kitchen table and turning on the lights with your shoulder, the apartment lit up and you heard honks and popping noises, balloons flew around and all of your friends revealed themselves from behind your furniture, exclaiming “HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y/N” at the top of their lungs.

“What is going on you guys? It’s still three days until my birthday!”

They all rushed to hug and kiss you, handing you your presents. You were quickly holding a stack of about ten boxes and a few bags were awkwardly hanging from your hands. They all looked so happy though, Eren quickly turned the music on, Mikasa took a birthday cake - the birthday cake YOU’D ordered yourself! - out of your fridge and started planting those fancy silver candles you’d been desperate to find in it. Armin walked towards you and helped you by freeing your hands and putting all those gifts back on the floor.

“You didn’t seriously thought I’d forgotten your birthday, did you?”

“Armin, I thought you were breaking up with me, I was so depressed. Why are we celebrating my birthday this early?”

“Because you were all over my ass y/n, searching for your present and wanting to get this and that on your own. If I took any longer, it wouldn’t have been a surprise” he explained with a half smile.

“Armin Arlert, you’re the brightest man alive”. You let him pull you closer into his arms, relaxing in his embrace. “Happy birthday love” he said, planting a kiss on your forehead and handing you your present.

Needless to say the party was a massive blast, everyone had so much fun! (Even though Connie wanted to make himself the dj). It was the best birthday and it being a bit early wasn’t even a problem anymore. This only meant Armin had probably something even greater planned for the two of you for the actual date.

-after the party was over, in the midst of picking up rubbish off of the floor-

“Wait, did you really think I was breaking up with you y/n!?”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

You plan Armin’s birthday…

“No Eren, YOU need to be the one to hang out with him! Besides, you’re hanging out together so often, he won’t even suspect! No, I can’t ask Historia to hang out with him out of the blue! Eren! I don’t even care! Figure it out! He’s your best friend!” you said and hang up on Eren. The trouble this boy was giving you. You and Mikasa were practically working yourselves overtime in order to plan Armin a surprise birthday party and Eren kept not doing his part of the preparations. Maybe you should just drop the subject, as he was being extremely unreliable. Whatever you two had him prepare these past two weeks, he’d do it wrong, you were starting to think it was deliberate.

“I’m sure he means nothing by it but you know Eren. He’s like this” Mikasa admitted with a sigh. “I’ll do my best to help you. Too bad Armin can’t help organise his own birthday, right? He’s so good at making things work”. She readjusted the bags in her hands, balancing them all, trying not to have anything fall on the ground.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you Mikasa. Sorry for dragging you to the shops with me on your day off!”

“No worries at all. Armin is worth all of this and more. I’m glad we’re planning this together!” she said and smiled at you brightly. “Let’s just leave all of our stuff at the venue. That way he won’t know what we’re planning. Do you think he suspects anything?”

“I’d be damned if hasn’t figured it all out already!” You felt your phone buzzing in your front pocket. “Oh wait. That’s him! Be quiet!”

“Hey there Armeen! What’s up?”

“Please don’t perpetuate this joke y/n!” he said laughing. “I was just curious, where’ve you been? I thought we were hanging out tonight?”

Shit. Shit shit shit. With this and that about Armin’s birthday, you’d totally forgotten you’d lied about hanging out with him. “I ugh… I’m out with Mikasa. Shopping. Uh… I found some reeeally nice lingerie you might like so wait for me? I’m sorry I’m late!”

“Okay, sure! Want me to bake up those chocolate croissants you bought the other day?”

“You’re seriously the best, Armin! Let me know if you want me to pick up anything on the way home!”

“Will do! See you later love!”

“Y/n we haven’t bought any lingerie. What are you going to tell him now? He’ll suspect stuff if you start babbling excuses”.

“We’re so doomed Mikasa… Let’s go back to the grocery store and buy one of those candy thong thingies? Then I can say I meant it as a prank or something…

-a few days later, at the venue-

“We’ll be there soon y/n. I lured him out by saying you were running late and had told Mikasa, who then told me. I think he bought it! I’ll pretend to be driving by your office building and then I’ll head straight to the venue.” Eren explained.

“Thank you, Eren, you’ve done great! Make sure to signal Mikasa when you’re about to arrive!”

“Don’t worry, we’ve got this! Gotta go, later!” he said and hang up abruptly.

“Where do I put this y/n?” Sasha asked and showed you one of the presents.

“Along with the rest of the gifts Sasha, on the big pile YOU built, remember? Why are you panicking?” you gave her a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder.

“It’s too much y/n! How can YOU not panic???” Sasha had literally been running around like crazy for the past thirty minutes or so.

“I would, but you guys have helped me out so much! Oh wait, this is a text from Mikasa”. You turned your phone screen towards Sasha.

“They’re a few minutes away” Sasha read aloud. “Everyone, positions!”

The commotion grew and grew until you were all at your assigned places. Historia, disguised as a security guard, by the front door, Connie on the dj platform (he insisted!) and the rest of you waiting in the main area, hands filled with confetti and balloons ready to be thrown up in the air.

“And as I was saying, this club is the real deal Armin, you have to see the dance floor”

“What are we even doing here Eren? I’m sure y/n will be worried sick if she doesn’t find me at home. We were supposed to spend my birthday together, just the two of us. Why did you have to drag me all the way here and-”

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARMIN!” Everyone shouted in unison. Connie started playing his music, everyone was hugging Armin and wishing him the happiest of birthdays, Historia let some more of Armin’s friends inside the venue and (finally) dropped her disguise to join into the hugging. Armin was all flushed and smiled so so bright, he couldn’t believe they’d all gathered up to organise him a massive birthday party!

“Honestly guys, thank you so much! This is huge! How many people have you invited?”

“The real mastermind behind all this is y/n! She planned the whole thing!” Eren said as he shooed Armin towards you.

Cupping your face in his hands he said “Guess the wine and charcuterie will’ve to wait, right?” and then kissed you on the lips.

“Happy Birthday… Armeen! I love you so much”, you chuckled into the kiss.

“I love you too y/n”

-later, while dancing-

“And, y/n, did you really buy that lingerie you were talking about the other day?”

Your face dropped at this reminder. How can you even admit that it’s a candy thong!?

“Well, about that…”

[pttucker]

After Kim Dokja disappeared, Han Sooyoung was busy appeasing the party members. "Shit, am I some type of babysitter?" Lee Gilyoung and Shin Yoosung were sitting blankly in their seats while Lee Hyunsung's huge body was crouched down in the middle of the children as he muttered something. Han Sooyoung sighed and pressed the party members "Hey! Everyone, wake up. This time, he went with Yoo Joonghyuk. Of course, it didn't work. "Dokja hyung… Dokja hyung again…" "I should've locked him up at that time…" Lee Jihye and Lee Seolhwa tried to soothe the children while Han Sooyoung was thinking about the problems she faced now. Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk were taken away so she had to take care of the preparations for the rest of the week. "Now is the real Han Sooyoung's Corporation…"

Dokja, your party is literally going to put one of those weird little toddler backpack leashes on you so you can't just dart off to who knows where. And then they're gonna give the other end to a pissed off Joonghyuk.

Or worse...

Heewon

YOU ARE LUCKY SHE'S STILL WITH URIEL RIGHT NOW BUT YOU ARE GONNA HEAR ABOUT IT WHEN SHE GETS BACK!

Look at poor Lee Hyunsung! Look at the children! You are giving them PTSD with all of your disappearing off to your potential doom!

Poor Han Sooyoung. She doesn't get paid enough for this.

Forget the stuff in his pockets, I vote that next time Dokja pulls a Dokja, Sooyoung gets to keep his coat.

[atlafan]

I’m having a really tough time…

[born-to-lose]

I love being the always single person in my family, mad respect to my sister for constantly dating guys for the last 8 years, I would have shot myself

[polyamoryprincess]

fuck it’s 3am and I can’t get my wheezing under control and I’m tempted to use my nebulizer but it’s loud af 🙃 I’m tempted to wait until my mom leaves for work but that’s in like 3 and a half hours

[death-rebirth-senshi]

I tend to just push "mean-spirited party banter" into the "things I don't like about da2" jar which is a little lazy of me

[samuraisharkie]

I hope every reactionary liberal “vote blue no matter who” person kills themselves forever

[inbabylontheywept]

i once accidentally dated someone for a few months. its very difficult to explain how this happened, but the gist is that i thought we were hanging out, and she thought we were on dates, and it was just a very painfully highschool thing.

she was a little bit confused that i hadnt tried to pull any moves, at all, even a little. like, didnt even try holding hands because, and i cannot emphasize this enough, i did not know we were dating.

so, halloween rolled around, and she thought, you know, why wait for destiny, when you can grab it? so she hit me with a clue by four.

babylon, she said. babylon. my mom's gonna be out of town on halloween, and im gonna have the house to myself, and it's going to be kind of lonely. would you like to come to my house and watch scary movies with me?

you know, kind of a netflix and chill thing. except, and i cannot emphasize this enough, i did not know we were dating. also autism. so i took it at face value and said: oh! yeah! thatd be fun! and she thought she got her point across, but she didnt and it was a mess.

skip forward to halloween: my family has a block party every year, right? and at that point i was too old to really trick or treat, but we still wore costumes for our role in the block party, which in my case, was handing out cotton candy. so i took the first shift, and my costume was this homemade abomination minion thing. i had full yellow body paint, and goggles, and a bald cap, and overalls. the kids who saw it were like, uh, hm. overly realistic minion. and adults were like, oh, some kind of hills have eyes hillbilly with jaundice. very scary.

(it was not my best costume.)

my little brother swapped me out for second shift, and i was getting ready to change out to head to her house when i was like: no, she'll get a real kick out of this. this is one of the worst things i have ever worn. so i kept it on and just brought a change of clothes thinking i could shower real quick and change at her place after she saw my nightmare getup.

so i left after that, got there, knocked on her door, and she said come on in. so i went in, and there was this very long hall with an abrupt right turn into her living room where the tv was, and i went down the hall, and i made the turn, and my field of view went from beige drywal to her, on the couch, naked. naked in the paint me like one of your french girls pose. super naked.

i panicked. this was my first time seeing a real person like, full on sex naked,which is a totally different beast from other kinds of naked. you see one kind of naked and you think yeah, im ready for all the kinds of naked, but you arent. i wasnt at least. i really wasn't.

so my brain crashed to BIOS. she also crashed to BIOS, but for different reasons. of all the ways this could have turned me, having me show up in yellow body paint and overalls was pretty pretty low down the list.

so we sat there a while, and you know, she wasn't getting any less naked, which really wasn't helping me get my brain sorted out. it really wasnt much of a surprise when she got her bearings first and started asking questions.

"babylon," she said. "babylon. what are you wearing?"

and i was like, kind of rebooted, but i was nowhere near full functionality, so symbolic language wasnt loaded in yet. i had nothing running but my trusty autism.exe, so i said

"overalls"

and she looked at me like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked at her like she was the first naked person i had seen in real life who got naked specifically for me, and my upper level cognitive process went: "listen man, we are not going to get our shit together as long as 80% of your brain power is devoted to not blinking. you gotta get out of here."

and if id communicated that, maybe things would have been less of a mess, but instead i just kind of turned around and walked back to my car. i figured i could drive a few loops around the block, get my brain in order, and figure out what the hell we were gonna do.

the only thing i had said to her since arriving was, again, overalls.

first loop around, i was like: oh god fucking damnit. oh shit. oh shit. shes gonna get like, an eating disorder from this. oh no.

second loop around i was like: oh NOOOOO oh WHAT THE FUCK oh SWEET JESUS PLEASE. i dont wanna go back man. i just wanna bury this and forget about it. please. please. let this bitter cup pass from my lips.

and after my third loop, i went and i knocked on her door again.

she answered it this time, and i counted my lucky stars that she'd changed into some pajamas. she was all teary eyed which was the saddest thing ever, and we sat down in her kitchen and talked. it was pretty bad - i figured out we'd been dating, and she figured out that trying to jump from home plate to 3rd base is considered ballsy in baseball, least of all dating. no real winners there. and i can remember after all that, we sat there a bit a bit longer, just steadying ourselves, and i was like "well, im actually really glad we figured that out. guess i'll see you at school tomorow' and she said "WAIT. wait."

"lets watch shrek 2."

so we did and it was horrible. we did not look at each other. we did not say a word. we just sat in stony silence, while shrek 2 played in the background, and when it was done we shook hands. i think we might have been able to salvage that as a friendship if it hadnt been for shrek. as it was she turned white as a sheet and ran away every time she even got a glimpse of me at school, and that summer she moved to a new state to live with her dad. all her friends said she moved just so she wouldn't have to go to school with me anymore, and i dont actually think they were lying.

every time i hear relationship counselors talk about how important communication is, and i'm tempted to roll my eyes, i look back and go, alright. alright. theres probably some poor bastard, somewhere in the world, who doesnt even know that hes married.

and god help him when he figures it out.

other bad dating story here.

[emacrow]

Tim whom is still banned from caffeine went into looking into other ways to get caffeine.

He went into anonymous source from someone name KingTuck4ever who talk about a energy drink that kept him up for weeks during a critical time of his life and Tim was at this point of desperate to spend any time of money he got.

Later that night, he received 6 very large Dark green boxes with a DP logo on it filled with Lightening Green tall soda cans with the name Ecto-Spark!, ingredients tags on the back, made with organic vegan products, DO NOT NEAR MEAT RELATED PRODUCTS, guaranteed to keep you caffeine deprived souls awake and alive enough to enjoy a night afterlife party! Or your money back.

Tim at the point didn't read the back as he pop open the top, smelling a strong scent of caffeine, carbonated bubble and a taste of lemon lime mixed with a tang flavor that had his mouth drowning nearly in drool.

He took only one experimental sip, before his eyes widen instantly and immediately began chugging the soda can for all the liquid caffeine it had inside. This was 1000 times better then Death Coffee Cup from his favorite Cafe that he was still banned from.

It felt like his whole body got electrified with energy and feel like he can run a whole 4 week marathon without breaking a sweat. This drink was like tasting nirvana after a week of being in a Gobi desert for his fucking soul.

.....

.....

.....

Bruce can never know about this. He can't tell anyone about this drink. Not Damian, Not dick, not step, maybe Jason, but Cass can kept a secret since she knew body language. He might possibly go rogue and kill Bruce himself if Bruce tried to take this from him.

Meanwhile Tucker was amazed of the total amount of money he received from the anonymous Caffine obsessed ghost. Usually he ended up receiving old relics, Egyptian related artifacts, gold coins, etc but this is a first he got actually modern day money.

Poor dude must've been recently form a core to spend that much money. Good thing he had send extra since he know how crazy those caffine-obsessed ghosts can be over the new drink he made specifically for himself, Sam and Danny but it's nice to have extra cash for new tech making. Especially since Danny became high king of the ghost zone when he became 20 year old, and the amount of paper works that had been left for dust collecting could filled a planet to the very brim.

Took him, Sam, Danny, Ghost writer and Techno 5 months to fully turn at least 26% of sacrifical gifts from ritual, contracts, conquests, complains from territorial ghosts about humans taking their land/house/property/or about their murder, help hundreds of ghosts stuck in their personal hell of a limbo of their own death, guy name Constantine whom was rapidly becoming a pain in Tucker's ass especially when he got one contract form his former previous life about this guy.

[mossy-rock-in-a-field]

Several weeks ago, my retirement-age mother requested that I play Baldur’s Gate 3 for her because she has trouble with controllers/keyboards and wanted “to see what all the fuss is about with that cute wizard boy.” For context, my mother and I have done this sort of thing in the past with certain RPGs (dragon age, mass effect, etc.), but it’s been a few years since she’s personally requested a game like this. Basically, I control her Tav but let her make all the choices so she can determine how the story plays out without worrying about mechanics. She treats it like a choose-your-own-adventure book.

Anyway, here is a list of some of the things my mother has said and/or chosen to do throughout the course of BG3 in no particular order:

She is (obviously) romancing Gale. She is quite smitten with him and his passion for books and learning; she also thinks he’s polite and qualifies as “relationship material.” She also REALLY likes the things he’s said about his cat so far (my mom is a cat lady), so I know she’s gonna flip shit when we meet Tara in Act III.

She’s playing a normal druid Tav with a generally good alignment. Her favorite spell is Spike Growth because she thinks it’s hilarious whenever enemies walk into the AOE and die. I usually end up having to cast it at least once per battle per her request. Sometimes twice.

Contrary to her alignment, my mother tasks me with robbing every single chest, crate, barrel, and burlap sack we come across; this also includes people and their pockets. The party is always at max carrying capacity. ALWAYS. She doesn’t like selling things because “what if I need them.” The camp stash is in literal shambles. There is no hope of organizing it. She’s got like fifty seven sets of rags and a billion pieces of random silverware.

She MUST talk to every animal and corpse in the game. I think five hours of her total playtime so far (47ish) has been spent speaking to animals as many times as humanly possible. Like, I was thorough in my own playthroughs, but this is on a whole other level.

She did NOT get Volo’s lobotomy, but she did let Auntie Ethel take her eye in hopes of a cure for the tadpole. I did not understand the logic then. I still do not understand it now.

She is far more interested in fashion than equipment stats. Do you have any idea how much gold I’ve had to spend on dyes just to make things match? SO much. Same vibe as that “please someone help me balance my finances my family is starving” tweet but instead of candles it’s thirty thousand fucking bottles of black and furnace red dye.

We broke the prisoners out of Moonrise, but they got on the boat too early and bugged the fight by leaving Astarion and Karlach behind. Wulbren Bongle somehow got stuck in combat mode even after engaging the cutscene on the docks below Last Light; he he kept trying to run ALL THE WAY BACK TO MOONRISE nine fucking meters at a time while I frantically tried to finish the fight with the Warden, otherwise Wulbren would have run straight into the shadow curse. (I would’ve let him go; fuck Wulbren Bongle, all my homies hate Wulbren Bongle. But my mom didn’t know that, and she wanted to keep him safe. So.)

She had me reload a save like eighteen times to save the giant eagles on top of Rosymorn Monastery. Wouldn’t even let me do non-lethal damage just to get past things. I think getting that warhammer for the dawnmaster puzzle took us like an hour and a half alone. (Yes, I know you can use any warhammer, but SHE didn’t.)

She’s started keeping an irl notebook to keep track of her quests between play sessions. She writes down ideas and strategies when she thinks of them during the week, then brings them to her next game session at my house. I think she wrote about three pages on possible approaches to the goblin fortress alone.

She insists that I pet Scratch and the owlbear cub before every single long rest, no exceptions. Sometimes I have to do it multiple times until she is absolutely sure that the animals know exactly how much she loves and cherishes them. She has also commissioned a crocheted owlbear plush from a friend of hers and is very excited.

I’m sure there’s a bunch of stuff I’m forgetting, but those are some fun things I thought of. She’s enjoying the game and is telling all of her retired friends to get it and play it for themselves. She asked me “what is Discord” yesterday and I think my life flashed before my eyes.

anyway shout out to my mom for being neat

Part 2 — Part 3 — Part 4 — Part 5

[frannyzooey]

Joel Miller x f!reader

Rating: E (age gap)

Summary: Best friends with younger one, you’ve known the Miller brothers since forever — you’ve wanted the older one for just as long.

a/n: it’s been a while! I’ve been writing over on Ao3, but thought I would pop in and say hi and happy summer ❤️ enjoy! —

Glancing at the clock on the wall, you wonder how much longer you need to stay before it’s appropriate to leave. 

You can’t even remember the name of the person who's talking at you – someone who said they took calc with you or something, back in high school. Brian, maybe? Ben? Picking at the label on the bottle in your hand, you tip the last swallow of warm beer into your mouth, grimacing at the taste. 

“Gimme a second,” you interrupt him. “I’ll be right back.”

Not a fuckin’ chance , you think to yourself. 

Navigating through the crowd of people packed into the Miller’s living room, you make your way towards the kitchen. Needing another beer to get through it all, you head straight for the fridge – only to see someone already there, their broad back facing you. When they straighten and shut the door, you reach out and pluck the beer from their hand.

“Thanks for the beer, Miller.”

Joel huffs, grabbing another one from the fridge. Turning to face you, he leans his hip against the counter. 

“You even old enough to drink?” Twisting the cap off, he takes a long, slow drink, his throat working with the motion. 

You roll your eyes, and his eyes drift down your body and back up again. 

Playing it cool, you clink your bottle against his. 

“Cheers, old man.”

His eyes narrow, and he waits a beat before tipping the bottle against his lips. 

His face has been a fixture in your life for as long as you’ve known Tommy –  a kid you met back in elementary school. Tommy was a few years older than you, Joel even older than him. The fact that you were younger never bothered Tommy –  you were just as daring as any boy his age, and he was more fun than any girl your own. A fixture by his side more often than not, you’d stuck together through middle school and then high school, through boyfriends and girlfriends, through Tommy’s enlistment after senior year. 

The entire time, Joel was there. 

In the beginning, you never paid him any attention. Busy working since he could, you barely saw him. The couple times you did see him at parties, it was only as Tommy’s ride, or showing up when Tommy got in trouble with his mouth. Like he never had any patience for parties or stuff like that; an aged man since forever. Even at their house, Joel had been…around, but he never stuck around for long. Always drifting away to go hang out in the garage, or in his room. 

It was during high school when you started looking at him differently. Started paying attention to him in a way you never did before. Starting noticing things like he never had a girl around –  or at least one that stuck , though you knew he knew his way around them, because you saw him in town sometimes. 

Walking out of a liquor store with a brown bag, a girl sitting in the passenger seat of his truck. 

Pulling open the door of the bar, his hand on the small of another girl’s back. 

Once, you saw him at the movie theater you worked at senior year. You still remember the heat that flooded your face when he strolled up to the ticket booth where you were standing, the broad smile he had on his face for his date, one that turned your insides warm. His arm was looped around her back, his hand resting on her ass with casual confidence. 

You’d never been so jealous of someone in your life. 

You left him behind (not that he ever knew it) when you went away to college. A visit back home after your first year timed with a visit home from Tommy,  Joel is right where you left him, still on the fringes. Only at the party to keep an eye on things, to make sure it doesn’t get out of hand, still keeping to himself. He’s been upstairs all night, only coming down every so often for another beer. 

The mystery of how he spent his time used to consume you back in your school-kid crush days…and it comes back full force, when he leaves you in the kitchen to go back up to his room. 

Leaving the noise of the party behind you, you climb the worn carpeted stairs. The second floor of their house is off limits to party guests, but you also know that doesn’t apply to you. Having been to this house more times than you can count, you know right where Joel’s bedroom is. You’ve never been in it though, which is part of the pull that drives you towards it – along with a slice of light that breaks through where he’s left the door cracked.

You nudge it open with your knuckle, to find him sitting inside. 

At a desk chair, his legs spread wide in his slouch. A beer rests in his hand, the other one holding a book and at your presence, he puts the book face down in his lap. 

He frowns. “Everything okay down there?”

“Yea. Just thought I’d come up and say hi. See what you’re doing.”

“Said hi in the kitchen,” he teases. He lifts the book with one hand. “And I was readin’.”

Used to his gruff sarcasm, you ignore it. “Any good?” 

His eyes follow you as you walk further into the room, sitting down on the edge of his bed. 

“Not really,” he answers. “Just waitin’ for everyone to leave.”

You know that’s not going to happen any time soon; another large group of people had walked in just as you made your way upstairs. 

A golden hue washes over everything, a single lamp burning on the desk, the colors of everything else dulled in the dim light. Shadows pool in the corners of the room, but he is lit, though only parts of him: the chestnut ends of his curls, his tanned skin, the stretch of his jeans across his thighs. The bed you sit on has a rumpled comforter, clearly having been slept in. 

Arousal pools low and heady between your hips. 

Has he ever brought another girl up here? Has he fucked anyone in this bed?

You imagine it briefly: his flushed cheeks, his heavy breathing, his muscles shifting under his skin. Your hand trembles, and you grip your beer tighter. 

“Already sick of bein’ downstairs?” he asks. 

You thumb at the condensation gathered on the bottle, a smile tugging at the corner of your mouth. “Yea. Sort of. It’s always a little awkward when you come back, you know?”

He shakes his head. “Not really. Never been anywhere but here.”

Your shoulders slump, and you let out a sigh. “Right. But you know what I mean.”

Suddenly, the weight of exhaustion pulls at you: the smiles you had to force downstairs, the names you tried to recall, the crush of people and the fake enthusiasm. You came here for Tommy, and you’ve barely seen him tonight. Forgetting for a second that you’re not in Tommy’s bedroom, you relax and let yourself fall backwards on Joel’s bed. The second you do it, you freeze – but don’t correct it. 

You’re in Joel Miller’s bed. Lying down. 

You feel the hem of your shirt ride up, but don’t fix it. The sheets smell like him, and you hear him huff. 

You also feel the weight of his eyes on you. 

–

He should be more annoyed that you’re in his bedroom, but he can’t take his eyes off your legs: a mile long in your cutoffs, the slight peek at the curve of your ass in their ride high. The slice of soft skin he can see, between your waistband and your shirt. 

He watches you roll over and prop your head up on your hand, not liking at all how good you look in his bed. 

He’s been watching you since you came back. Watched you even before that, though he’d never admit it. Walking around their backyard in a tiny bikini when you lounge with Tommy by the pool, looking gorgeous as hell all windblown and carefree sitting in the passenger seat of Tommy’s truck, looking so fucking innocent and beautiful swamped in one of Tommy’s sweaters by the bonfires he’s been having at night since he came back.  

The sight of your ass in those shorts as you walk around their house has been imprinted on his mind all week. 

He sits up, clearing his throat. Leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, he lets his head hang down between his shoulders. If he can avoid looking at you, maybe his cock will stop hardening with interest. 

“I think you better get back downstairs.”

“I just wanna catch up,” you reply innocently, looking anything but. 

He looks up, giving you a knowing look in reprimand. “That ain’t all you wanna do.”

He doesn’t know what compelled him to say that to you , but he does know it to be true. He’s seen the look on your face on plenty of women before – women . You’re a girl . One he’s known since forever. One he never thought about until he did, and one he tried not to think about once he started. 

One who is way too fucking young for the things he’s thought about doing to you. 

“No?” you ask. “Why don’t you tell me what you think I wanna do?”

He shakes his head instead. 

The edges of your mouth curl up in a soft, teasing smile. “Joel Miller, a secret prude.” 

His head snaps up, “I ain’t no prude, honey, you’re just –”

“Honey?” Your eyebrows lift, your eyes sparkling with mischief. “I’m just what?”

“ Young. Too young.”

“I’m twenty.”

He tilts his head, narrowing his eyes and you cave. 

“Almost. In a few months.”

He huffs in disgust, dropping his head back down. “Jesus Christ. A baby.”

He feels you study him for a moment. 

“I missed you while I was gone, you know.”

The confession surprises him, and he looks up to find your face completely sober, truthful. 

“Did you miss me?” you ask quietly. 

The vulnerability on your face pulls at him, and even though he knows what will happen if he gets on that bed, he wants to. If only to tuck you against his chest and reassure you that he did. He really did. He knows you think he never noticed you, but that’s only because he made you feel that way. He couldn’t notice you, for both your sakes. 

“Just come…sit with me, okay?” you ask. “I’m not gonna bite.”

He doesn’t move for a moment, keeping his eyes on the floor. He feels you wait with bated breath, knowing full well that he should stand up and walk you out of his bedroom…but he can’t bring himself to leave you hanging like that. 

Instead, he stands, and walks over to the bed. 

Your face flashes with surprise that you try to hide, and he smirks. 

There is a look on your face he’s seen a million times — a bolstering sort of lift to your chin, the look of a tough girl that would follow his brother anywhere. A girl who never backed down, even when he could tell she was nervous. 

A girl he knows he shouldn’t want, but does anyway. 

He tests the waters, crawling onto his bed. Stretching out next to you, he sprawls across the mattress, his broad form partially covering yours in shadow.  He can feel the heat gather between your bodies. You look even younger close up, and he leans closer, unable to stop himself from pushing to see how far you’ll go.

He recognizes that same determined look on your face now, only this one is slightly different. This one is laced with lust, and want. So much fucking want it makes him ache. 

“Okay, big girl,” he drawls. “Now what?”

–

It’s his turn to be surprised when you lean in and press your mouth to his. 

You can tell because he momentarily freezes when your lips meet, his stubble brushing against your skin, your lips fitting neatly along the seam of his own.  You kiss him again, this time opening your mouth just enough to let him in and he takes your invitation, the taste of beer thick on his tongue when he slides it against yours. His hand comes up, cradling the curve of your jaw as you tilt your head to the side to deepen the kiss and a soft sound that catches in the back of your throat has his fingers flexing, pulling you closer. 

The sheets rustle beneath you when he takes over, his hold guiding you beneath him on the bed. He kisses you harder, longer, a deep groan rumbling from his chest, the light of the room blocked out behind him. His solid body weighs heavy on top of you, his denim clad hips pushing between your thighs with a grind and you open your legs wider, his hand sliding up the outside of your leg to hitch your knee around his hip. 

It’s sensory overload after wanting him for so long. You’ve daydreamed about this a million times, imagined it happening a million different ways, but you never thought it would be anything like this. Lost in the weighted haze of lust, drunk on the way he feels against you, head swimming with arousal, the crotch of your panties already so fucking wet that they slide over your achingly empty core with every rock of his hips into yours. Meeting the rolling grind of his hips with your own, you feel the weight of his cock press against you, his calloused hand covering your breast with a squeeze. His hips rock forward again, the grinding promise of what he’s capable of against the damp seam of your shorts and you are just about to beg him for more when he pulls back, standing. 

In one long stride, he shoves the door shut and locks it. 

Tugging his shirt off with a one handed grip over his head, you take in the sight of his broad, solid chest and the dusting of hair that scatters sparsely just under his collarbones. It’s thicker along his sternum, even thicker still just under his navel, where it leads into the waistband of his jeans. He looks so…big, from where you lay on the bed. Older, masculine in a way you’ve never seen on a boy your age. Your eyes run the length of his body and back up again, the outline of his thick cock pushing against the fly of his jeans making your cunt flutter. 

He opens the drawer next to his bed, tossing a condom down and there is something so arousing about the matter of fact action, the implied sight of it just sitting there, waiting for him. Black, with gold letters. When his hands drop to work open his belt buckle with single minded intent, you reach down to slide your shorts off. 

“Don’t.”

Your hands pause. 

“I wanna do that.”

You don’t even know what to say in response before he’s bending to grab you behind your knees, hauling you to the edge of the bed. Your shirt rides up your back, and sit up enough to tear it over your head, your bra following shortly after as his greedy eyes track every movement. His thick fingers pop open the button on your shorts, hooking under the fabric and he drags them down and off, bringing your panties along with them.  

Then he stands there, his hands on your knees. He pushes them apart, and you try not to squirm as he spreads you for him. 

“Goddamn.” The word pours out of his mouth, saturated with awe, low with lust. 

Your thighs flinch, your knees trying to pull together to hide yourself from the heat of his gaze, but he keeps a firm grasp on them, holding you open. 

“Don’t try to hide it from me now, honey.”

His eyes drop from your face to the gleaming spread of your cunt. He reaches down, his thumb brushing over your opening, and it’s so fucking filthy the way he drags it through the mess you’ve made for him. 

“Especially not when it’s this pretty,” he murmurs. 

He drops to his knees, your breath hitching when he tugs you closer to his mouth and guiding your legs over his bare shoulders, his mouth immediately seeks you out. 

“ Fuck .” 

The word slides into a moan when your body bows off the bed to chase the slick heat of his tongue. It smears wetness over everything, dipping inside you to drag upwards to your clit and then he’s fitting the bottom half of his face along your cunt with a messy, open mouthed kiss. 

He devours you there the same way he devoured your mouth earlier, and the sensation is simultaneously  too much but not enough, your hands finding purchase in his sheets. You fist them, twisting them in your grip as you start to rock your hips and you have never - never - had this done to you before, a tremble pouring sweet and thick down your spine to pool right under his mouth. 

His hands keep your thighs forced open, his shoulders spreading you wider and when his tongue starts to swirl firm, tight circles over your clit, it drags a hoarse moan out of your throat. 

Too consumed to care if you’re being too loud, every thought leaves your head when two thick fingers stroke delicately along  the dip of your opening, before sliding inside you with a filling stretch just as he starts to suck . His whiskered cheeks hollow with it, your words breathless and pleading. A stretch just to take his fingers , you close your eyes and feel your stomach drop when you think about taking his cock.

The thought alone sends you flying over the edge. 

When it happens, he groans into you just as loud as if he’s the one who’s come, and a second wave washes hot over your limbs when you peek down to see the upper half of his face between your spread thighs. His brows pinched together, his eyes closed tight, his white knuckled hold on your thighs. 

The music turns up louder downstairs, a shout of a crowd greeting new arrivals – but it’s lost in the intimacy of the bedroom. His satisfied low groans, your trembling thighs, his damp beard against your skin.  

Pulling back, he wipes your slick from his face with his hand – and then gives your cunt a sharp, flat swat. 

The action shocks you, your eyes widening and the grin on his face is charmingly boyish. Or would be, if he didn’t follow it with a filthy suck of the fingers that were just inside you. He stands, shucking his jeans and briefs off in one movement, and puts a knee on the bed between your legs, reaching for the condom. His large hands rip it open, and though you can feel his gaze rest heavily on you as he puts it on, your eyes are fixed firmly on his cock. 

It’s – big. Much bigger than you’ve ever seen, a grown man’s dick. He fists it lazily for a moment, the weight of it evident in his grip and when he places the condom over the tip and rolls it down to the base, you openly stare. The translucent rubber fits snug and tight, down to the thatch of hair at the base of his cock. 

When you finally drag your eyes up to his face, he looks smug. 

“Don’t worry, darlin’. It’ll fit.”

The amount of times you’ve thought about this moment is nothing compared to the real thing. The man standing in front of you has always been off limits, a complete mystery to you all these years, even as the subject of most of your debased fantasies. The realness of him — the solid width of his frame, the flush to his skin, the amount of bare, firm skin on display. You swallow hard, a bundle of nervous anticipation even though he just fucked you with his mouth. 

He settles his body on top of you, caging you underneath him and the press of his hot skin has all of your nerves scattering, evaporating into need . 

His mouth rests right next to your ear, a kiss brushed against the divot below it. 

“We’ll make it,” he whispers. 

If you thought his fingers were a snug fit, it’s nothingcompared to how full you feel as he slides in. The stretch almost to the point of pain save for how wet he got you beforehand, it still steals the air from your lungs as he pushes inside. You squirm underneath him, shifting to accommodate every single inch and his hand curls around your waist, his hips pushing forward with a final, hard thrust. 

His mouth brushes tenderly along your clenched jaw, letting you get used to it before his hips find a rolling rhythm. Every downstroke shoving you up underneath his hold, you hold on tight, hitching your knees up along his ribs and your feet slide over his tailbone, a whine crawling out of your outstretched throat. 

“This little pussy is so tight ,” he groans, his hot breath gusting over your skin. “So fucking tight.”

His hand shoves itself under your tailbone, angling your hips to take him deeper and his own groan sounds deep over your softer, higher one. 

“Do you have any idea how much I thought about fuckin’ you? How many different ways I’ve wanted to?”

Hearing him utter those words makes your chest crack open, your heart thundering underneath your rib cage. Everything you’ve ever wanted to hear, paired with more than you ever thought you would. 

He picks up pace, his hips a relentless, heavy pound into the cradle of your own, each thrust punching the air out of you – and your fingers claw into his forearms when he sits back on his heels, pushing your knees to your chest to fuck you harder. 

The bed pounds lewdly against the wall, the music from the party covering it up. 

“Joel,” you whine, a tear slipping from the corner of your eye. It feels like you’re being used by him, your body a tool for his own pleasure, your pliant, moldable body being positioned just for his use. It sends you higher, thinking about him doing the same for others, right here in this bed. 

You start to tense underneath him, the wave of slick, brutal pleasure pulling you under and when you come, it’s a wordless, breathless thing – your body pulling taut, your cunt squeezing him tight. He groans, dropping forward to cover your mouth with his, his hand sliding up to wrap around the nape of your neck with a grip and he forces himself deeper, his strokes urgent in their snap against you. 

He rests his forehead against yours, and through the haze of your freshly fucked gaze, he recognizes the same look from before. A girl who never backs down, a girl who knows how to hold her own. 

“I already want it again, Joel,” you breathe against his mouth, his heavy pants washing over your lips. “Next time, I’m gonna ride you. I’m gonna sit on your lap and you can watch me take it, okay?”

“Fuck,” he groans, his hips stuttering. They chase the slick warmth of your cunt, his eyes closing tight. 

“You’re fuckin’ trouble, you know that?” he rasps, his fingers threading into the hair at your nape, fisting it with a tug. The motion tips your head back for him, a victorious grin stretching across your face. 

“A pain in my ass since I met you,” he pants, letting out a deep groan. “A sweet piece of ass in my bed.”

You nod, the smile on your face melting into something pleasure soaked when he shifts the angle of his hips. 

“I’m gonna come inside this little cunt, okay? And then I’m gonna do it all over again. You ready, honey?”

“God yes.”

He buries his face in the damp crook of your neck when he comes, he back rounding as his hips still in their push against yours. He’s so deep you know you’re going to feel it tomorrow – more than you’ve ever taken, a stretch you know will make you ache every time you sit down. He holds onto you so tight that you can barely breathe, and it’s a special sort of heaven to be buried underneath the bulk of his body. Your cheek pressed against his curls, your chest compressed under his. Your hips sore from being spread so wide, your cunt still snug around him. 

He lifts just enough to see you, and opens his mouth – right when something crashes beneath his room. 

“What the fuck , Tommy,” he grumbles, and you laugh at his instant change of expression. He slips out from inside you with a groan, his hips imperceptibly shifting forward to chase the heat between your thighs. He presses a quick, hard kiss against your lips and then he’s dragging himself from the bed, tugging the condom off and tying it in a neat knot. 

Tossing it in the trash next to his bed, he grabs his jeans off the floor. 

“I’m gonna go downstairs and see what the hell that was,” he says, sliding them up over his bare ass. Buttoning them, he shoots you a look. “Don’t you dare fuckin’ get dressed.”

You gesture a wordless salute, and he shakes his head, smiling. 

“Smartass,” he grumbles, picking a shirt up off the floor. Sliding it over his head, he opens the door and disappears. 

“Tommy!” 

You hear him shout and a laugh bubbles up from your chest. 

“What the fuck was that?”

Stretching out, you slide against the warm, rumpled sheets and listen to the familiar sound of their deep voices. For the first time since you’ve been back, you feel like you’re home. 

Pressing your face into his pillow, you take a deep breath – and grin. 

[vodkassassin]

Batcourt

Tim is sick of his family fighting, an occurrence which doesn’t always but enough times has nearly led to murder, that he devises a new method to deal with them and their petty (or serious, but usually petty) arguments: Batcourt

The first ever batcourt trial was to mediate an argument between Dick and Bruce, bc when Tim became Robin they were on the outs; Dick had moved out and was rebelling against his dad. They barely talked to each other, and when they did it was to argue.

Tim, being in the middle of all that, finally snaps and basically strong arms them into a impromptu “court session”, bc if they can’t be civil with each other in conversation they maybe they can at least be professional in this Thought Exercise.

He appoints Alfred as the unbiased jury, and then demands that both Bruce and Dick take five minutes to compile their cases against each other to present to the judge (Tim).

Both Bruce and Dick are incredibly unamused, but Tim has Alfred’s support, so they reluctantly go along with the charade. And…

It’s actually surprisingly effective.

The argument is hashed out without anyone coming to blows or a screaming match. They are all very mature about it and the argument is settled with both parties, if not happy, then mollified that they actually got to speak their parts and come to a conclusion that wasn’t unfair.

Alfred is very pleased with the results of the first batcourt trial, and give his blessing for this method to be used in the future.

And so it is. Tim is typically the Judge, as he is the mastermind behind the method and typically stays out of all arguments as much as he can, and is known to everyone to be extremely impartial when the others argue about anything. So 9 times out of 10, Tim’s judge, and uses a generating software program he developed and installed on his gauntlet (and civvy watch) to choose a jury to preside over a trial when one of the family members opens a case against someone else.

This eventually becomes just how the family resolves disputes.

If an argument comes forth and is starting to get too heated, whoever declares that they’d ‘like to submit a case to the batcourt’ is by default the prosecution, leaving the other party as defendant (these are just terms, this isn’t actually a court of law, this is just a method of resolving arguments, so both sides are heard). At this point, everyone usually turns to Tim, who appoints a jury and then tells the pros and def that they have five minute to compile and submit their evidence to the court.

It’s all very official, and the Rules of Batcourt is that everyone has to remain absolutely professional as if this were a real court case. This is to ensure nobody breaks the exercise, otherwise it won’t work.

Anyway it’s VERY effective, and is used for years in private.

Until a pair of them have an argument in the middle of an op in public and it’s getting in the way of taking out the villain…. So someone declares that they’d like to submit a case to the batcourt.

Of course any non-bat present is like “the what”

But all the bats present, being so used to using the batcourt method to hash out disagreements, automatically turn to Tim.

Anyway, Tim, by habit, immediately runs the jury program and appoints Spoiler and Black Bat as jury (the argument was between Red Hood and Nightwing, with Red Hood submitting the case and therefore the prosecution).

The rogue they were fighting (let’s choose a nicer one, Riddler maybe) is so confused at this point that they kind of stop in the middle of their scheme just to watch the the fuck is going on.

The bystander civilians and any reporters are also like “???” And so basically they all get to watch the first ever public batcourt trial.

(The jury ends up voting in favor of Red Hood, so Tim declares that Nightwing is Guilty “by the power vested in my by the Batclan” and Nightwing is sentenced to Apologizing to Red Hood - since the argument started because Nightwing wouldn’t get the fuck out of RH’s way and he kept almost shooting him lmao, it just went downhill from there. Brothers amirite.)

Anyway the video goes viral immediately, the Gotham internet going insane over the concept of how the vigilantes apparently resolve their arguments.

The riddler is so fascinated by what he just witnessed that he just accepts being taken back to jail for the meantime to mull things over (I love Eddie)

Now that the bat is out of the bag, so to speak, the Batclan submits cases to batcourt in public a few more times without thinking, and the public is very excited every time. Every case and verdict shows up in the next day’s paper, and it’s a Gotham Highlight. People love it.

And then it escapes containment. Because one day a rogue loudly declares that they would like to submit a case to the batcourt. Against Batman.

The present Batclan members all look at each other, and then to Tim, who is already running the jury appointment program without even thinking. It ends up choosing Riddler (who was also there) along with two civilians and a bat (Robin).

Tim blinks, then shrugs, and lets it happen.

So starts the Batcourt trial of the decade: Batman V Poison Ivy.

And Batman loses.

Ivy still goes to jail afterwards, being a criminal and all, but she does so victoriously. She has mad street cred after this. The public goes WILD.

Anyway what I am saying is that batcourt is a highly respected court of dispute in Gotham. The majority of trials are conducted between Batclan members, but there are rogues who have won (and lost) trials in batcourt, and even one very infamous instant where the GCPD submitted a case against Red Hood and subsequently lost when the mostly civilian jury declared him Innocent.

The police force having to then apologize to Red Hood made headlines so big that they broke Gotham City containment and made it into the outside world.

Which leads to the next famous batcourt case: Superman V Batman.

I have been thinking about this concept for weeks and it’s definitely going to be a running gag in all my batfam fics forever

Also we get to have this fun interaction

“Batcourt is now in session”

Batman: please don’t call it that

Tim: ahem

Batman, sighing: objection

Every single one of his kids, pointing at him like in ace attorney: overruled