#The pressure of social a situation that I felt wrong footed in might literally kill me great 🙃 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

polyamoryprincess · 8 months ago

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fuck it’s 3am and I can’t get my wheezing under control and I’m tempted to use my nebulizer but it’s loud af 🙃 I’m tempted to wait until my mom leaves for work but that’s in like 3 and a half hours

#We’ve also got so many dishes and I gotta do at least some of it 😭#I’ve literally been wearing a mask to sleep hoping to reduce how much dust and hair I’m breathing in #But I didn’t hydrate well enough today and my nebulizer session today felt like it was wearing off quicker than usual #I really need to see someone…#We’re working on getting me disability so I can be on my mom’s insurance #Covid has genuinely ruined my life even before I caught it earlier this year #And now it’s seemingly destroyed my lungs #I had agoraphobia like 2 years before Covid and I started getting it under control in early 2020 #Now I have agoraphobia because im terrified of unnecessarily risking illness #That was before my lungs got so fucked up now I’m scared a second infection will actually kill me #I keep thinking of how much I let my guard down at that small NYE party/wedding party at my cousin’s house why did I not keep my mask on?#The pressure of social a situation that I felt wrong footed in might literally kill me great 🙃#What’s so fucked up is the fiancée literally was going to have heart surgery soon and I have no clue if he got Covid #I’m convinced I got it from the bride’s relative who I literally had never met before #But who I felt socially pressured to hug for NY I just hate it I feel so stupid

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