#at least past january
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2023 February-November books read.
#books#shelfie#books read#I've been meaning to do this for MONTHS#I did not get a lot of reading done last year#at least past january#anemia might have had something to do with that#I've tried reading plenty of other books but just haven't managed to finish any of them#I'm trying to get some better habits going this year tho
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ROBIN HOBB’S REALM OF THE ELDERLINGS >> FitzChivalry Farseer The Farseer Trilogy + The Tawny Man Trilogy + The Fitz and The Fool Trilogy
Do you see how stupid this is? I cannot possibly stand by and watch you die, Fool. I know that and you know that. You'd be asking me to be profoundly different from who I am. You'd be making the change, not me. And didn't you once tell me that precipitating the change was my task, not yours? So don't ask it of me. If fate demands that you be dead, well, then I'll probably be dead too. At that point, I doubt it will matter much to either of us.
#roteedit#fantasyedit#bookedit#realm of the elderlings#fitzchivalry farseer#the farseer trilogy#the tawny man trilogy#the fitz and the fool trilogy#robin hobb#fancast#made by carolyn#bestie :')#when robin hobb said fitz doesn't physically age past ~35 she did that for me#so that i could continue using dev patel even for ~65yo fitz#YALL i started this gifset in JANUARY and slowly added to it over the year as i finished the series#i can't believe i'm releasing it into the wild#i need at least twelve people to reblog this PLEASE lol
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character wrapped 2023 💥
tagged by @davidtennantpussytulpa ^-^ i didn't know how many to do so i copied tara and did top 10. i know the severance guys are Four Of Them but i can't separate them theyre all equally important to me
will graham (hannibal), em haywood (nope), aziraphale (good omens), mark & dylan & helly & irving (severance), hawkeye pierce (mash), martha jones (doctor who), ivan karamazov (the brothers karamazov), kim kitsuragi (disco elysium), stewy hosseini (succession), ruescott melshi (andor/rogue one)
i will tag... @fagician @britomart @libraryfag @roadwhores @majorbaby @globuspolski @hadleyfraserfaggot @tenderscience if u want to ^-^
#and now i will explain them all in detail#cos i started watching hannibal back in like. january or february and will immediately set up camp in my head and started to settle there#*I* pay rent to *HIM*. he lives there permanently. sweating and monologuing constantly#em was not only the character of 2022 but also of 2023 and of 2024 and the rest of the decade and all decades to come#she had such an impact on me keke palmer's performance will live with me forever and i love nope so fucking much#i almost didnt include her because nope was more of a last year obsession. but she lives on#aziraphale.........no comment#severance.......i love them all so much and at first i wanted just irving and then just helly and then i realise i cried over mark this week#and then i realised i couldnt possibly leave out dylan when hes probably my favourite character. so then i settled for all of them#hawkeye is my fucking wife. enough said#martha... well i knew i had to have a doctor who character. i thought maybe the doctor but then i thought their companions mean more to me#sometimes at least. i did have a fourteen icon for a while but then i was like but Donna..... and then i thought. well#these past few months at least martha jones has been eating away at my heart. i go batshit insane when i think about her#her impact. her grace. her power. so she had to go on the list.it was a toss up between her and donna for sure though#then i figured i had to include a karamazov since reading that book took up half of my year. and ivan was my favourite of the 3. so <3#kim goes without saying. literally nothing to be said hes the character Of All Time. to me#stewy also goes without saying ive had so many Stewy Save Me moments since the beginning of season 4 all the way to the end of the year#i miss him every day. he is the moment. i wish there was more of him all the time#and the last one is a bit of a wildcard cos all my insanity abt melshi has been on my andor sideblog.#but rest assured ive been thoroughly Not Normal about him. he literally side appears in 4 episodes and has 11 total minutes onscreen#but i love him. so much. and hes occupied most of my thoughts since september. once again his impact his power his grace. his homosexuality#enough said. that's all. thanks for reading. this was a great year for autism and madness#tag game#🍪
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I realized I don't take selfies anymore?
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🙃🙃🙃
#Well the severe irritability and restlessness and illness of the past week has passed at least#Leaving me more minorly irritable and brain-foggy and tired and overwhelmed#The new downstairs neighbor doesn't like us much and I don't blame her but it's not making things easier#Two more days until the anniversary of the first CPS visit#...I will be glad when January is over.#I know if my body is remembering the trauma the boys' must be too but they're not showing signs of it?#I don't know.#I will fix quiche tomorrow and things will be better.#Nattering into the void
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everytime i think im done ranting i remember something else LMFAO this one is extra long i hit tag limit god mf damn
#self#for instance.....my mom wants me to cut off everyone who is still tied to the school#and im so mad at myself for feeling a certain type of way when the campus manager called me not too long ago basically to tell me she doesnt#trust the girl who did this shit and she wasnt mad at me but was also mad at me for bringing her to her dads house#for reference we were trying to get a cat from the campus managers dads house LMFAO#and i honestly cannot wait to speak to her again and be like 😔 god dammit you were right like you were every single time#i just dont understand the wiring in her head to think the shit she says and does to people is normal and okay and how she doesnt realize it#is literally a mental health break. when i finally told my mom the first thing she said was shes probably off her medication#which.....probably isnt wrong sadly coming from someone who has borderline and very easily can lose it#but the difference is i dont give in to the urges to try to hurt everyone around me in every way i can#and me and her have said before that we thought she might also have borderline because we were very similar#but god damn does she love proving that if she has it its extremely severe or its something else entirely#on an honest note. shes incredibly narcissistic and i know her mom is part of the reason shes that way bc she was given princess treatment#her entire fucking life and then doesnt understand when other people dont treat her the same way#i hate rambling about this and i hate it that it is bothering me so fucking bad but like ???#if youre going to decide that you can put our past aside period and move on then fucking do that and stop bringing the past up as a way to#hurt me and the people around you???? she acts like shes not done horrible fucking things to people. so sorry i wrote a letter that was very#honest at the time. so sorry that when you found out i apologized for it and said i regret it because 2 weeks after my apology i no longer#regret writing it. if its making school a living hell for you....theres probably a reason for that girlfriend#i am not the person who put that shit in your folder#though i seriously fucking doubt its actually in her folder shes probably assuming it is#and youre the one who made a complete ass of yourself to every educator that ever stepped foot in that building#that has nothing to do with me that you are a literal warning given to every new educator!!!! i havent even been in school there in months#yet IM the problem??? how am i the problem when i graduated in fucking january???? everything since then falls on you#AND YET AGAIN! MIGHT I MENTION! IT IS NOT JUST MY LETTER!!! THERES AT LEAST 2 OTHER ONES!!!!!#BECAUSE IM NOT THE ONLY PERSON SHE DOES THIS SHIT TO!!!!#god sometimes i sit back and realize that theres a reason she regresses as a person and i do not#im not going to sit still anymore and let someone walk all over me and she can thank herself for that#shes who taught me that blocking and running as fast as i can doesnt fix anything#so here we are bitch. youre not blocked and im sure youre sitting at home thinking about how youre right about everything
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#migraines have been ruling my life for the past week and a half#i hate it#january and february are already shitty enough without them why are we adding onto it#anyways finally woke up without one today so yay#let’s see how long that last… hopefully at least the whole day please it’s nice and sunny outside and i would like to enjoy it later#also i miss writing and reading 😢#happy monday everyone!
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i feel like im talking way too much about my broken leg rn (which Is Broken Bee Tee Dubs xoxo) and its prolly annoying but my friends i cant help it i can almost start walking again and every time i think about it i genuinely kinda feel like crying lmao
#by my calculations im like. 5 weeks post surgery#which would mean next weeks physical therapy might mean letting me walk at least a little bit again#im genuinly a bit weepy about it im so fucking exhausted man! its been since the end of january!!#i have a list of things i wanna do when i can walk again man lmao every time i grab my sticks im like a few more weeks just a bit longer#vent ig sorry!#anyway @ anyone whos ever had a broken bone did yall feel the same??? like legit so anxious to get back to using ur limb???#i had a broken wrist awhile back too and idk i feel like it wasnt nearly this bad but a broken ankle feels like. thats just My Existance#for the past 2 months#anyway!#vent#positive vent#broken bone#broken ankle#tw broken bones#tw injury
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Today's zoomies are accompanied by eurodance 😌
#pretty sure the fake nostalgia of everything being easier back then comes solely from the music#i mean it was not ideal#but at least the music was happy#said by me the irony lmao#anyway I've worked today#no rest until past January#im tired as hell already#but the more i am tired#the more i get my zoomies lmfao#so let's make them happy at least
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so for the last two years I went to see The Nutcracker live at my local performing arts center; but this winter COVID's been coming back with a vengeance in my city so I'm opting out. I'd still like to engage in it though and while I love the one I have saved on spotify I'd also like to watch it. does anyone have suggestions for a recording of a full performance of The Nutcracker that's on youtube or somewhere else online?
thanks in advance!
#personal#3 of my coworkers have gotten covid in the past month#and at least four kids if not more have gotten it since october#which is more than i experienced in my time here from the spring of 2022 till now#i'm like the only person who hasn't gotten significantly sick in the past year#and i'm betting it's because i still wear a mask#i just can't not at this point#it's just frustrating because people out here are like business as usual and i'm STILL social distancing and wearing masks everywhere#and guess what people are starting to get sick again#and not vaccinate because they've become complacent.#it's nice though that the local pharmacies and clinics are pushing the covid vax as much as the flu shot and are offering them together#so anyone who bothers to get the flu shot will likely get the covid one too#but we all know how hard it can be to just get people to take the frickin flu shot#ugh#this summer i'd just started feeling okay taking my mask off at work sometimes for the first time since i started in january 2022#then fall came along and it's like NOPE#back on for good#anyway#any nutcracker suggestions from the classical music fam?
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I am sitting parked outside a house in a suburb that is slightly too wealthy for me to feel comfortable, waiting for my friend to bring her SUV.
I just bought a beautiful chest of drawers at an estate sale for $70 and I have since discovered it will not fit in my car.
Friend had some errands to run so it's taking a while. I've read a bunch of fanfiction, tried for a nap, checked the weather, checked the news, and I've now reached the liveblogging-on-tumblr stage of boredom.
My beautiful new daughter is made of the shiniest prettiest hardwood and she is so very heavy.
She's gonna replace the $30 ikea dresser that finally fell apart (the middle drawer fell out and can't be put back in and two of the three drawer slides are shattered). If I'd known about estatesales.net when I got the apartment I would not have bought so much cheap ikea stuff.
I got four hours of sleep. I needed to wake up early to get my beautiful daughter before anyone else could. I am so tired. My plans for today are to get my beautiful daughter in the house somehow, move the busted old dresser, and then sleep forever. Food optional.
#This is literally the only interesting or good thing that's happened to me all week#This past January has been one of the worst mental health months I've had in years#The past two weeks especially#But at least I won't have that broken drawer full of junk sitting on my bedroom floor anymore#Personal stuff
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If I seem inactive, just know that I'm now writing a 350+ words essay about how awesome I am.
#Personal#So I'm gonna be a teacher have pedagogy as my university subject and have my exam on the 10th of January right?#I have a task to create my teacher portfolio#(I suppose this is the right term right?)#and one of the components is 'a teacher's portrait' which is an essay where you write about your strengths#and basically everything about yourself as a future possible teacher#And it's supposed to be at least 350 words#I was kinda stuck because I had no idea what I could write about myself and basically I don't like all those reflective tasks#I don't want anyone to know me in such depth ×)#But yeah this is all in the past tense because I already finished it and it turned out 440 words ✌🏻#And now I have another essay which is supposed to be at least 600 words <3#And it's about myself too aakiskdkfk#I'll get to Was Born To Lead again now#It's funny how I basically made Matías a veterinarian because yeah I wanted to be the one myself#This is definitely not the only reason I need it for the plot but his character was indeed influenced by me#And to be fair all the mains share something in common with me which is another reason why I love this fic so much#Anyway yeah I didn't become a vet but I became a teacher#Like Valerio#Aksjnskskdk#Or rather Emilio because he's more fitting#And i don't know this is just so funny to me#It reminds me how my friends called me a fancy teacher (like Valerio) some time ago#and I said 'but I'm not a teacher'#Ainskskmd here I am now#Wow life you're sometimes magical and strange#And you know thanks to pedagogy I now know about the teachers as facilitators and this is 100% how I see Valerio#It’s just him#And I want to be a teacher like this myself
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ya girl finally preordered torchwood s7 but ya girl still also has never actually listened to the last 2 episodes of torchwood s6 :)
#dont ask me why#i dont know i literally have no answer#torchwood#torchwood among us#torchwood s7#also like#i need to listen to the entirety of aau and gau first anyway but s7 comes out in what? 4 days?#so yeah thats not gonna happen before that#yes i said back in January id get back into tw and then i didnt and then i finished law school and during that became obsessed with 911#which still occupies like 95% of my brain on a daily basis#how long will it take me to actually listen to among us?#i say a couple months at least#oh boy#dont judge lmaooooo#my thoughts about Torchwood#big finish#im gonna have to get out all my past notes i made#and all my essay long tumblr post going off abou ng and all that ahhhhh
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aeeeughhgghh i think my epilepsy meds are starting to get less effective again ;-;
#personal#vent#i'd gone up in dose in like august i think? late july?#and once i got the the goal dosage it def helped#the amount of seizures i was having pretty much dropped off to about 0#maybe one ever 4 weeks#but now ive had 2 seizure clusters within the past week#and thats after having a cluster a week before my surgery#bluuuurghhhh im glad i at least get to see my specialist in january#hopefully it doesnt get too much worse#at least the periods of it being under control has made it way easier to identify them#(i have absence seizures so theres no convulsions or anything#i get really disoriented and out of it w nausea and v bad vertigo w some hallucinations and severe nostalgia for zest#makes it way harder to clock)
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supposed to. uh. slush. tonight. exciting
#mixed rain and snow= slush#can’t believe it’s even just a little bit of snow#normally we don’t see anything until january… or that’s how it’s been the past five or six years#when i was little we’d get like four feet of snow in november/december#i remember digging my way through snow that was up to my chest at times <- for fun. we would try to get to the woodchip pile to sled (it was#a big pile) but it was. 40 metres? at least? from my house. so we spent so long clearing the snow with our arms to get back to the pile#😭
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and even if someone’s doing nothing to improve their circumstances (either bc they can’t or they’re genuinely choosing to not do anything) there’s probably a reason for that and i think they still deserve respect
being the kind of anxious person tumblr users like to make fun of (can't go places alone, can't make phone calls, can't order at restaurants, trouble w setting boundaries/conflict avoidance etc) is really awesome and cool because it's genuinely disabling And you also have to deal with 24 year olds on the internet acting like you're an inherently annoying and cringe person. due to ur disabling condition
#text#im thinking specifically of january-april 2023#when i didnt cut off a toxic friend#and intentionally isolated myself in my room and only pushed through the fear to eat or go to class#like there was a REASON i was doing that. And i genujnely think it was the right decision at least to not cut off that friend at the time#and the isolation was a completely understandable thing to do in my situation#and trying to form new connections was far too overwhelming at the time#i wasnt trying to heal and grow and move past it i was trying to survice#it’s like- that tree i planted when i was younger out in my front yard#it’s shorter than the other two trees planted with it#even though they’re the same type of tree and we got them as saplings that were the same size#bc it got hit by a car. and it stopped using its energy to expand up and out#and started using its energy to heal itself so it would have a strong enough trunk (or trunks rather- it has 4 or 5 seperate trunks) that#it could grow later#like sometimes it is completely understandable to lay in the foundations of decay. and sometimes you have to get up#<- guy who replaced the bible with the foundations of decay by my chemical romance voixe#peer reviewed banger#<- th is isnt the version thats blowing up but its the version i eant in that tag
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