#so anyone who bothers to get the flu shot will likely get the covid one too

[monotonous-minutia]

so for the last two years I went to see The Nutcracker live at my local performing arts center; but this winter COVID's been coming back with a vengeance in my city so I'm opting out. I'd still like to engage in it though and while I love the one I have saved on spotify I'd also like to watch it. does anyone have suggestions for a recording of a full performance of The Nutcracker that's on youtube or somewhere else online?

thanks in advance!

[foster-the-world]

Ready

Ready for the weekend. I put in some overtime this week so I already felt like yesterday was Friday. Working hard to accumulate 40 hours so I can take the girls on a fun vacation next summer.

Wishing we had off work so we could be at home enjoying our children instead of paying a lot of money for a sitter. He's going to take them to see Wild Robot today. I wanted to see it but we can go again if they like it. All day alone with all three is tough so I'm glad they have something to do. We also left out the girls bike/baby boys scooter.

I'm getting my hair done tmrw. Alone time = wonderful. Sunday the girls and my husband are going to a cool museum. His cousin got them tickets for Bee's bday. I'm thinking I'll take baby boy somewhere fun outside. We are both scheduled to get the Covid/Flu shot on Sunday night. Bee has an annual physical on Tuesday. We called to see if she could get the Covid shot. They said they won't know until the day off. =Annoying.

We are checking in with the doctor about Bee still wearing a diaper at night. The internet and past visits tell me no one worries until 12yos. She just turned 8. We assumed eventually the problem would disappear but it has not. She has had constipation issues in the past. We have recently started having her stop drinking an hour before bedtime, go to the bathroom right before and then my husband has her go again around 11pm. Her diapers are still full. She doesn't seem bothered. I'd totally leave it alone if it wasn't for sleepaway camp. I didn't even think about it when we signed up. We may try the drug to see if it works. I think we would only do it for camp and a test run beforehand. The internet tells me some kids are able to put a diaper on right before bed without anyone noticing. Not sure we want her to do have to feel like she has to hide. But also don't want kids making fun of her. Let's see what the doctor says.

I've been listening to the ADHD Dude podcast. Personally, I think I am more into their philosophy then the idea of "kids do well when they can, don't force kids, plan C everything for as long as needed" philosophies. The two can come off as obnoxious know it all's but when I get past that I think their authoritative/loving parenting style fits more with my personal ideas. Maybe its a Midwestern thing - my parents were def a little tough but extremely loving with us. I believe it has served me well. I def find the balance really difficult - especially with baby boy who has some very real challenges. But for now I'd like to have high expectations for all three of them. They don't believe in PDA at all. They believe the social media PDA people are preying off parents who are seeking any answer. Baby boy doesn't present with those PDA symptoms so luckily I don't have to worry about it. At least not, yet. He will completely ignore our request but he's not very oppositional. They also brush off sensory processing disorder. Or rather it as a stand alone diagnosis. They say its just a part of autism or ADHD. Which I can agree with.

After a rough month with him he's now been doing really well. Although he has been fighting sleep at night. I assume getting back to the normal school schedule is good for him. We've been running the track most nights. He zooms past so many people. I started putting the cones out - so he can jump over them.

[thebluehue22]

Will probably have to cancel my concert and the man whose been flirting with me and wanted to hang out has just ghosted me :)))

Whenever good things happen to me, whenever I have a period of "Oh wow, life is actually great. A man is interested in me that I like back, I'm going to see my favorite band I love so dearly, I get to see my sister and we're going to Huntsville and we'll see the Botanical Garden and the Rocket Center! It'll be great." Life likes to send me a cut at the knees for daring to be positive and happen about my miserable life. My sister has covid. She's had all the shots and the covid she has is terrible. Who fucking knows if it's even covid, probably just a flu, but she's barely eating and not getting enough sleep, so her body isn't healing and I doubt she'll be able to come. Which means I can't go to Huntsville and the South Star festival, because fuck I ain't going to a festival alone. Fuck that. Especially one where theres literally ONLY ONE PERSON I WANT TO SEE! And then theres fucking the guy. The ONE time a man seems to like me back, and he's still not interested enough to pursue. Dude broke his phone. Oh he has a new one now, but hasn't bothered to DL snapchat to talk to me with. I'm just not important enough. :) I'm never important enough to anyone. Both friends were online yesterday. We'd been planning to play Lethal Company together. Nope they made plans to play another game :)))) Ok :)))) I'm just really not important to anyone. Maybe one person, but he's not included in this rant. I love him too much.

[madewithspice]

Who in aot is vaccinated and who isn't in my opinion

Had this idea because I'm in the medical field

Warnings: just a little bit of shade to some

Armin: this educated king is triple vaccinated. He was suspicious at the beginning but he's a strong believer of the power of science. He gets his flu shots as well every year just to be sure. Wears a surgical mask and a KN mask on top

Mikasa: another triple vaccinated person. She wasn't really bothered by everyone's comments on the topic so she just does what she believes (armin might influenced her a little) wears cute pink masks or masks with minimalistic designs

Eren: sooo Mikasa, Eren and Armin went together to get the first dose so they can have each others comfort more like eren needed it more. He got the first dose but he forgot about the second one and he can't be arsed to get it. Too much effort for the lazy boy. I have to add that he wears the mask under his nose

Jean: double vaccinated and he wears only the black masks. Everything else ruins his aesthetic

Connie: double vaccinated. I mean he loves his mum so he wouldn't risk getting her sick just because he has a wild life

Sasha: she got double vaccinated just because her besties did. She got scared when people said that when you get too sick with covid you lose your taste

Levi: double vaccinated because everyone was bothering the poor man by telling him when is he going to get vaccinated. He got sick of them so he went and did it so they can shut up

Erwin: double vaccinated BUT very suspicious. He asked a certain amount of people and their symptoms. Talked to several doctors about it. Even in the room before the nurse jabbed him, he asked annoying questions. The doctors and nurses hated him

Hange: vaccinated in a sense. They jabbed themselves with their vaccine that they made and called it a day. Nothing is better when you do something on your own

Zeke: not vaccinated. He doesn't let anyone near him with a syringe. Lowkey afraid of them. He is into Facebook groupchats that talk about the side effects of covid and how they can affect your dna and shit. He has a big amount of people who support him. His bad breath doesn't let him wear a mask

Floch: anti vaccination kind of guy. Doesn't care. If you bring that up he'll make fun of you for believing that covid exists. Won't wear a mask unless he's forced violently

Annie: not vaccinated. She doesn't trust the government and all the shit they do. She believes in home remedies. Chamomile and ginger tea on the go. Eats garlic to get rid of the toxins as well

Porco: vaccinated but secretly. He believes vaccination is for the weak but he did it anyway

Reiner: double vaccinated. He gets sick easily so he had to. Wasn't opposed to it though

-Markie

[trivialbob]

Sheila and I went over to St. Paul to have dinner at a dive bar. It was all that I’d hoped for. We passed a few other dive-looking places on Randolph Ave. I’ll probably be back.

The evolution of my french fry consumption: At an earlier age I would order the full basket of fries--for myself--and leave the restaurant feeling like Fat Bastard. And no way would I share any with whomever I was with.

Eventually I’d share a full basket with my wife. As we tell our kids, if you run out we can always order more. Spoiler: We never had to order more.

Tonight we split the half order of fries. That was the perfect amount. I left the restaurant not looking like a hippo or counting my stretch marks.

Coming home we stopped at Target for something. Apparently the supply chain problems, or flat out Goldfish flavor discrimination, has affected Target. Not one bag of pizza flavored ‘fish. The store mocked me with a sale price even lower than what I found at my local grocery store.

On the rest of the drive home Sheila and I tried to write an episode of The Office in 2020-2021 where the characters had to deal with the pandemic.

Michael feigned a disability so he could butt in front of the line to get a shot. He also wanted to hug everyone to show he wasn’t afraid of the virus.

Kelly was seen frequently with her mask off, so she could bedazzle it. She also had a different mask for each hour of the day.

Meredith got so irritated being told to wear her mask that she came to work wearing nothing but a mask. The whole episode she was pixelated from the neck down.

Angela went full Karen, keeping track of everyone who so much as let one nostril become uncovered. By the end of the episode her little Field Notes book had not a single blank page.

Darryl got his shot and wore his mask as well as anyone. He didn’t like Kevin trying to fist-bump him and saying “Oh yeah, you and me, no vaccine am I right?” Kevin passed away from the virus at the end of the episode.

Ryan has a side gig making counterfeit vaccination cards. After a drunken date with Kelly he tells her the next day the virus makes it too risky for them to become serious.

Creed got his shot because he thought it was an illicit drug. When he didn’t get high he “realized” he’d been microchipped. He bought one of Ryan’s fake cards for a thousand dollars because he thought it was a high yield savings bond.

Stanley enjoyed working from home so much he declared he’s never coming back to the office. In every Zoom meeting he’s wearing a silk smoking jacket. A glass of red wine is always visible in the background.

Phyllis said she’s only getting a shot if Bob Vance gets his too. Bob Vance, of Bob Vance Refrigeration, will not get the shot.

Pam doesn’t work much because she’s devoting her time to making baby-sized masks for her children.

Jim bothers Dwight. Jim keeps moving a little fan on his desk to position it to blow air over Dwight’s desk.

Dwight is taking Ivermectin via IV drip. He also has enough plexiglass around his desk to supply an Olympic sized hockey rink. He’s really frustrated when Jim keeps saying, ���What? I can’t understand you through all this plastic.” Jim can totally hear Dwight.

Andy keeps saying to Jim, “Hey Big Tuna, got the ‘rona yet?” Then he starts singing My Corona to the tune of My Sharona.

Toby is flustered with this HR nightmare. He wants to follow the rules carefully yet the entire episode his mask never covers his nose.

Oscar is upset with Michael for calling it the Wuhan Flu. Oscar says “Actually... it’s it’s a novel coronavirus or COVID-19.”

Erin enjoys greeting visitors with complimentary mask and a dash of hand sanitizer. She loses her cool when Meredith keeps drinking it.

[tara-l-blackmore]

Updates

Social Media and Online: Tiktok: I fought Tiktok and won. I told them they banned me due to discrimination, the likes of which they never even bother with when it comes to literal criminals and predators. I told them that to censor someone queer and neurodivergent was pure bigotry, and if they didn't do something about it, I would let everyone know. So they did something: they gave me my account back. Am I glad? Somewhat. I've stepped back from it a great deal due to what I discussed last time, instead focussing less online and more off social media, and that has been helping me greatly, both mentally and creatively. So there is a small victory.

Twitter: I am still fighting them on this one, especially when it comes to current events and why I was banned. They keep asking me to delete the tweet that made them suspend me, but whenever I mention I can't even get into my account to do so, they don't see the problem and have yet to even talk to me about it.

Photobucket: After almost 20 years of free service, Photobucket has decided to start charging their customers for access to their own photos. Not only that, the photos they once gave you access to and that you uploaded in trust are hidden behind a pay wall, and unless i subscribe for a monthly fee, I can't even save the photos and delete my account. I am currently still fighting this, and they have yet to give me a good reason why they have done this and why they won't even let me save my photos and leave.

COVID: Both Terry and I are still struggling with side-effects, even two months later, and as such, we've scheduled for the second booster shot. Everyone around me is saying how ridiculous it is that we need these shots, and I keep thinking, "You never had it, so how would you even know?" And 99/100 of the time, the person saying I'm being a hypochondriac either has never had COVID or isn't even vaxxed. You simply do not understand how bad it is until you have it. It's not just a "bad flu". This disease has consequences, one that has caused a global pandemic that everyone has decided to ignore, and I personally am not interested in dying because of someone else's ignorance.

Personal/Misc: Jenny: On June 29, a childhood friend's sister passed away suddenly of COVID-caused pneumonia and complications with diabetes. Her name was Jenny, and her sister is Julie. When I first heard, I sobbed my eyes out, despite never having had spoken to her in decades, nor her sister, even. This was due to two major reasons: grief, obvious grief, as she was only 40 (my sister Heather's age), but she was a mother of three children. And her death was so avoidable and needless and tragic. She was a firecracker, a tough and no-nonsense person, who took little shit but gave a great deal with a smile and a hug. She was a force of nature, fierce and loyal, and also kind. So to hear of her death in such a sudden way was heartbreaking. The second reason is more selfish: it reminded me that death can happen at any time, without any warning, and can take anyone and everyone I love. And because Jenny was also Heather's age, it's even more terrifying. (More on her in a moment.) I went to the memorial, terrified of being there and ready to leave in case I was not wanted or welcome, holding Terry's hand in my own. I walked in, looked around, and found Julie. Both of us were wearing masks, but it didn't matter. Our eyes met, and in silence, we broke the distance and hugged, hard, crying. From such a tragic loss, something else was reborn: a hopeful friendship, renewed, with Julie. Julie, who is married to her childhood love and a mother of two, who still has that orange hair but finally has meat on her bones, a beautiful fluff. I am of course wary, but I have some hope that our friendship will rebloom. I need a friend.

Family: Heather's pregnancy has bumped up early, meaning she will be giving birth to her second child, named Nicholas Basil, in a week. I am so happy and excited, but it seems to be that I am the only one. My mother is miserable about it. She thinks Heather is making a mistake having this baby, and is already blaming him for things when he isn't even born yet. She hates him, for being male, for existing aside Ellie, his older sister, and thinks he will destroy the family and cause Ellie to regress. She want "nothing to do with him," her own grandchild, because he was born late and a different sex. I told her off last week about this, but she doesn't care. I honestly hope she either grows up once he is born, or Heather tells her off, too. I love my mother, so very much, but I would support Heather if she were to disown Mom over this, over her own disowning of a literal foetus, including not allowing her into Ellie's life, anymore. Heather has that right, and if she's going to be nothing but a demon to my nephew, I don't want Mom near him or Ellie, either. She doesn't deserve to have a relationship with Ellie nor Heather if she persists in doing this. We're all worried and scared for Heather, as at 40, having her second kid will be very hard on her, which was another reason why I was so upset when Jenny died: it reminded me that Heather could, too. She could die giving birth to Nicholas, and then what? Nobody would love him, then, because they would blame him. But I would and will, specifically because of that. And I'm going to be his protector for the rest of my life, especially against his own grandmother. No grandchild should ever be treated that way. Ever. Least of all before he is even born!!

Marriage: I want to say things are well, and for the most part, they absolutely are: Terry continues to support and love me like always. But lately, sometimes, I feel distance between us. Our physical love has decreased a great deal, and while I usually am and able to label this under age, I'm also terrified it's something deeper, something hidden, something he doesn't want me to see or know. Or maybe I'm just projecting, thinking I am gross and unwanted because of my change in gender and looks. I'm not (just) a woman, anymore, and least of all the woman he married. I'm a genderqueer enby, fluctuating between what I see as a woman and something else, agender, undefined, and more and more, it's becoming the latter. I'm terrified that my changes and expressions of this are off-putting, and the fact that I am changing is turning him off of me. We barely are together like that once a month, and even though I know we're both on the ace spectrum, being who I am and having gone through what I have, I can't help but read more into this than I probably should. Maybe it's better not to, but I would rather be paranoid and catch something I missed than miss it completely. I just don't know or understand what is or isn't normal for relationships. Maybe comparison isn't such a good idea, as it's our relationship and thus one of a kind. I dunno. I just worry sometimes.

Writing: I haven't been writing much at all, and it's clearly hurting me. I have been getting great ideas for one of my series, but writing is slow. I'm not quite sure why, but as mentioned, once I stepped back for a bit and tried to prioritise, I've been mostly reading stuff, which in turn helps me imagine and think about my own words. Fanfic, usually a staple of my daily activities, has become dormant and almost dead, and several fanfics have been ended for those reasons. However, thankfully, I had a few breakthroughs over that time, so hopefully, I'm thinking that some of the fics I want to finish are now being worked on. I'm excited about it, but also worried it'll absolutely suck. I just need to write it, get it down, and not worry so much about it being perfect (write high, edit sober), because the worrying is holding me back, when instead I should just be writing, just to get the story out. Like I surmised, death is unpredictable and comes without any warning; my biggest fear is to die with all my stories unwritten or unfinished. I want to leave my nieflings something...

Personal: I'm lonely. I'm very lonely at times. I spend my days alone in my apartment, a very wonderful luxury, yes, but also isolating. I do have hopes with Julie, but past experience has warned me to be cautious and wary. I can't work, have no means of meeting people, and even when I do, whatever strikes up ends fast, because once people realise I'm autistic and mentally ill, they leave. I've spoken at length about this several times, only back then, I didn't know it was my autism that kept myself apart from most of the world. Now that I do, I lack the patience or effort to wait for long and see if a person is worth being my friend. And yes, that sounds cold and arrogant, and I do not care. I'm old and lonely and tired. I just want one person I can see and hug and talk to once and a while, to help and be helped by someone who not only likes me, but understands me, and I don't have the time or patience to work on friendships that are fake or only one-sided. It used to be that this person was my mom, but once I figured out my true gender and tried to talk to her about it, and was thus ridiculed and laughed at by her for it, I have since been unable to be my true self with her, anymore - especially when it comes to my future nephew, too. So I'm a lonely and sad housespouse who has no money to their name and nothing to show for their almost 40 years of life. Looking at myself that way, I can see why I have no friends. Maybe it's better I don't; I won't have to say goodbye.

That's all for now. Special shout out to @cypsiman2 for always sending me a kind word after a word-vomit like this post is, and I just wanted them to know that I appreciate them. Thank you.

[nerdforestgirl]

Note: Thank you to everyone who still cares enough about Sheldon and Amy to celebrate today.  I miss them, but it helps to know I’m not the only who still cares about them.  Thanks for playing along with this stilly fluff crawlspace stuff all these years later.  I know I shared my tattoos earlier, but obviously I had to write a little something too.  Enjoy.

“All right. Our appointments are all set,” Amy told Sheldon with a big smile. This was nearly the moment she had been waiting for for the last year. She and Sheldon were finally going to get their Covid vaccines. They were finally going to be safe and be able to get back out into the world.

“I don't feel well. Perhaps you should cancel mine,” Sheldon said to his wife.

“Well, our appointments aren't until next week, so you'll be fine by then,” Amy said. She was pretty sure that it was just nerves. Even if it wasn't nerves, she had a point that the appointments weren't for several more days. He would likely be over whatever was bothering him by then. She left his appointment as it was and set back to making dinner for the two of them.

Over the next several days, Sheldon continued to complain that he wasn't feeling well. Amy took his temperature, and it was normal. Then she took him to get a Covid test even though he insisted that it wasn't that.

“Maybe we should get you in for a doctor's appointment,” Amy suggested when both of their Covid tests came back negative.

“I just don't feel well, but I don't think it needs a doctor's appointment,” Sheldon protested as he booted up his current game of Resident Evil on the PS5 Amy tracked down for his birthday.

Sheldon wasn't acting like he felt sick. He just mentioned it whenever Amy talked about how excited she was about the prospect of having her life back. When she mentioned that she looked forward to going back to brunch with the girls or working in her lab instead of the apartment, Sheldon would start in on how his stomach hurt or he had a headache. Whether or not Sheldon actually felt sick was up for debate, but Amy was fairly certain it was in his head.

“You aren't afraid of the vaccine, are you?” Amy asked. He knew the science. He knew that despite the appearance that the vaccines had been developed quickly, they were actually developed with more than a decade of science behind them. They had been thoroughly tested. And of course there weren't any microchips in them. Sheldon wasn't one of those people who believed in conspiracies. Or at least Amy didn't think he was.

“No,” Sheldon said. “Of course I'm not afraid of the vaccine.”

“Then why don't you want to get one?” Amy finally just asked him. She was tired of skirting the issue.

Sheldon opened his mouth to answer, but then he closed it. Amy had never seen him seem so unsure of himself. That sold her more on the idea of him feeling unwell more than anything, but she just stayed silent and waited for her husband to answer her.

“I liked the last year. I liked staying in with you every night. I liked the grocery delivery and the take out delivery. I liked never leaving the apartment. I liked that everyone was using hand sanitizer all the time. I liked the masks,” Sheldon confessed. This pandemic felt like it had been built for him. He was happy in it. He didn't want it over.

“Oh,” Amy said after a moment. That actually made a lot of sense. Sheldon was the only person she knew who really did seem to thrive in all of this. “At least you included me in the things you liked about the pandemic,” she added after a second.

“Of course I did. You are my favorite person in the world. If I was going to be locked in a pandemic with anyone, I'm glad it's you,” Sheldon told her. She knew that. He couldn't live without her.

“You're my favorite person too. That's why I want you safe. That's why I want you to get the vaccine,” Amy told Sheldon.

“Hmm. That's a good point,” Sheldon agreed. He hadn't thought about that element. He didn't want things to change, but he wanted Amy to be safe. The idea of his wife being safe was absolutely worth things going back to how they had been before.

“I'll hold your hand while you get it, if you want,” Amy offered. She thought of their original agreement all those years ago when a hand hold during a flu shot was one of the only forms of contact he would allow. That had all changed in the years since, but she was happy to be there in any moment of need.

“Well, that was a given. I suppose we can go get our vaccines tomorrow,” Sheldon agreed.

“And we'll still need second doses and then two weeks after that before we'll be protected,” Amy reminded him. They had plenty of movie nights alone snuggling on the couch left before they'd even be close to having their lives back. Plus more time after that to get used to being back out there. Sheldon could keep things the way they were for a while longer. As much as Amy missed some elements of her life, she certainly didn't mind the idea of some time alone with Sheldon.

[comicalsansa]

I just need to scream into the void for a minute, feel free to ignore this or whatever. Sorry for the lack of break, I can't figure out how to do it on mobile.

Y'ALL LIFTED THE MASK MANDATES AND EXPECTED UNVACCINATED PEOPLE TO CONTINUE WEARING MASKS ON THE HONOR SYSTEM WHAT THE FUCK DID Y'ALL EXPECT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN?!

Come on, did anyone actually expect the portion of America that has been protesting masks and downplaying the severity of Covid to a) get vaccinated and b) continue wearing a mask off they didn't? Like, with how stupidly politicized (and I do mean stupid) everything with the pandemic has been, how the fuck does anyone have the nerve to be surprised at the fact that the hospitals are filling up?

People aren't vaccinated, and they aren't wearing masking, of course the new variant is going to spread like wildfire. None of the kids are vaccinated (because we need to make sure their immune systems can handle it, there's a reason why the usual vaccines are on a schedule), and people don't make their kids wear masks.

There are literally people protesting mask mandates for the schools in my state. What the fuck. Have they already forgotten how fast illness spreads in schools? Fuck, there've been times an individual school or two has shit down because so many people (kids and adults) got the flu, or norovirus. And this shit spreads even faster. Why on god's green earth would you want your kids to not wear a mask?

Like, I get that wearing a mask is really uncomfortable and makes communication difficult. The precautions that we have to take are absolutely fucking up an entire generation.

You know what else will fuck up an entire generation? Dying. Long term effects from a serious respiratory disease. Watching their family members die; rather, watching their family members go into the hospital and never come out because they aren't allowed vistors.

Given the choice between the two flavors of trauma, I would much rather keep the kids alive and uninfected.

We are learning as we go about all of this, that's why the information keeps changing. That's how science works. Numerous studies have shown long term effects in kids already, so while it may not be as serious (oh wait, the new variant is), who knows what effects this will have on them in 20-30 years?

You know what else had serious long term effects? Fucking polio. You know why we don't have polio in the US now? Because everyone had to be vaccinated against it for decades. Fuck, they were still vaccinating against it in the 80s, I know because I remember getting a tiny cup with a swallow of liquid for one of my vaccines as a kid.

You know what else has serious long term effects? Chickenpox. And I know older people will be like, "BS, I had chickenpox and I'm fine," or, "My parents took me to a chickenpox party to make sure I got it, and I'm fine." Yeah, you ever hear of shingles? You know why you need a shingles vaccine? Because you had chickenpox. That's right, if you never had chickenpox you can't get shingles.

Point is, who the fuck knows what this is going to be doing to survivors 20-30 years down the road and if you gave a shit about your kid, you wouldn't want them to get it.

And I'm so pissed off because you know what? I fucking hate wearing a mask, too. I hate it. I don't care what the nurses with pulse oximeters say, I cannot breath as well with two layers of fabric covering my face, especially not for hours at a time (fun fact, pulse oximeters are not an accurate indicator of whether or not you can breathe as it takes time for an oxygen shortage to hit your blood--i know this from experience as an asthmatic). Everyone covering their faces and the plexiglass and paranoia and shit has been driving me nuts, I can't fucking live like this either. That's why I wore masks and got vaccinated as soon as I could, because the ONLY way this stops is with vaccines. And yeah, we're going to need boosters, we were always going to need booster shots, almost every vaccine we have requires more than one dose. And we had a period of time where cases were hella low and if you were vaccinated you didn't have to wear a mask and it was so great!

But some of you dumbfucks didn't want to get the vaccine because a) you didn't think Covid was a big deal b) it's made from aborted babies (I want to punch you if this is your objection) c) the vaccine is too new, they rushed it (it was in the works since SARS and they tweaked it, also the flu shot is new every year, your point?) d) it's the mark of the beast! (If you believe this or spread it please exit the gene pool) or e) we don't know what's in it! (This and a especially bothers me from hospital workers, who are required to get an annual flu shot).

There is exactly one valid reason to not get the damned vaccine and that is if your immune system can't handle it. So if you have a serious health condition that weakens your immune system or you're allergic to a vaccine component, you are absolutely off the hook, and none of this is directed at you. You're one of the ones who needs the rest of us to do our part to survive this, and I am so sorry.

And people keep screaming about my freedom! Look bitch, your freedom ends when it impinges on mine, and you are sorely impinging right now. You have the freedom to do what you want with your body, but not with other peoples. If you want to get Covid, fine. But you do not have the right to spread it, which is what is going to happen if you get it. Vaccinations used to be mandatory. You still need to get vaccinations if you travel to certain countries. If you join the military you are going to get injected with every vaccine we know of and probably a few we don't. Vaccines are one of the things that make modern life possible.

I understand being skeptical, I mean, I would've preferred a bit more time and more studies before getting vaccinated. But I did it anyway because:

Widespread vaccination is the only way we get out of this.

The alternative is over crowded hospitals (which is starting to happen again) and just accepting people dying. Sure, death is part of life, but this is needless and overtaxing already broken systems.

If you have not gotten your vaccine and have no medical reason not to, you are part of the problem. You are the asshole on the zombie movie who gets bitten and hides it until it's too late and you become a threat to the rest of the party.

Stop being a dumbass and do something for other people for once in your miserable life.

I am tired of wearing masks. I am tired of all the pandemic protocols. I have done everything I can do, as have many others. But it's not enough. Everyone has to do their part.

If you want this to be over, instead of protesting, get vaccinated, it's a hell of a lot more useful.

[inawickedlittletown]

And...They Were Zoommates (one-shot)

Summary: Buck and Eddie work for the same company but have never met until working from home during the covid-19 pandemic has them using zoom video conferences. 

Ship: Buck/Eddie

Words: 7,729

Rating: G

Notes: I blame a few people over at the buddie discord for this fic happening. 

With the state of the world being what it is, quarantine fic seems inevitable and I wanted to write something fluffy and happy. I will admit that I'm not super pleased with this fic but I'm posting it anyway. Enjoy. 

Read on Ao3

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The memo went out on a Monday. Everyone was going to be working from home and they had two days to prepare everything and make their work remote. Buck had been waiting for it to happen. It was a matter of time after the schools were shut down followed by the libraries and then curfews were put on bars and nightclubs. And then as the numbers of infected kept rising, most places started trying to figure out how to make their staff work from home. 

The whole thing wasn’t going to be ideal, but if it meant that more people weren’t out and about getting exposed to Covid-19, well, Buck figured that it was probably a good thing. Buck had done his research, after all, and he knew that it was more than just a flu and that while the WHO didn’t want to call it a Pandemic yet, they soon would. He also knew that in the states things were going to go bad and fast. 

A few days later, Buck had set up a work-station at his apartment. His work laptop was going to remain at his kitchen island so that Buck would feel like he was going somewhere to go to work. He was going to get up at his usual time and maintain his routine partly because he knew it would drive him crazy if he didn’t, but also because a lot of his work was going to require video conferencing and Buck was not going to show up on one of those calls in his PJs. 

On day one, he spent about an hour figuring out what the hell Zoom was. 

Then, he spent another hour trying to log in because for some reason it just wouldn’t let him. 

After that, Buck finally had access to his work and then he dived into what he needed to get done for the day. A bit of time into it, he got an email about the meeting that had gone from in person at the office to a video conference. 

Looking at the email thread, he was not the only one having issues with logging into things and figuring out Zoom. 

The thing about the quarantine and the work from home order was that it had come at a horrible time for them. It was absolutely necessary and they all understood that, but it was happening just as they were taking on a big project that required the work of many different departments at the office. Buck didn’t think he even knew any of the people he was going to be working with other than his boss. That was the part that made him just a little bit nervous and unsettled. Group projects had always been the bane of his existence back when he was in school and he sort of suspected that this was going to end up being a similar experience. 

—

“So, you’re going to be working here, Daddy?” 

Eddie was in the middle of setting up his computer and making sure that he had all the right paper files out. Working from home wasn’t going to be ideal, but Eddie was thankful that he could do it. He couldn’t imagine how else he would have been able to handle things with Christopher out of school and on top of that knowing that his abuela was one of those at risk people so the last thing Eddie wanted was to have to saddle her with watching Christopher. 

“I am, kid. So while you’re doing school, I’ll be doing work. And then we can have lunch together.” 

“This is very silly, Daddy.” 

Eddie chuckled. “It is, isn’t it? But, remember I told you, it’s so that everyone can be safe and so that people don’t get sick.” 

“I know,” Christopher said. 

Eddie ruffled his hair and then nudged him to go back to where he’d been working on what looked to be a math packet. While Christopher went to do that, Eddie got himself set up, but he went to check on Chris a moment later and it was always just to impressive how smart his son was.  

When he got an email about the video conference, he left Christopher to his math and went back to the laptop. Logging in was a task and a half and Eddie emailed his frustrations to the others until he finally got the thing to work and at least it didn’t seem like he was the only one struggling. 

By the time that they had all made it onto the conference call, they were starting the meeting late by about forty five minutes. In that time, Christopher had at least managed to keep himself working and not get too distracted, but Eddie was just waiting for it to happen. It was why he’d left out some apple slices for him as a snack that might keep him from bothering Eddie. 

“Hello, everyone,” Bobby said. “I know this is going to be unconventional and probably make some of us want to tear our hair out, but we’re going to pull this off. It just requires that we all try our hardest to communicate with each other.” 

Eddie wasn’t new to the job, but his job was pretty isolated. So while he knew Bobby because he was their boss, he didn’t know anyone else on the call. He knew Howie — Chim — by reputation alone because he was Bobby’s right hand man but he didn’t know Henrietta or Evan. Henrietta liked to be called Hen and she was the most relaxed of all of them, looking like she was just chilling out on her sofa. Bobby looked to be in a home office type space and he’d gone through the trouble of putting on a collared shirt and tie. Chim was in an AC/DC t-shirt and out on a balcony of all places. Evan — who apparently went by Buck for some reason — was missing the tie to his button up, but the look was good on him. Just a bit put together. It was Buck that Eddie would be working closest with. He seemed friendly and nice enough but also very very attractive.  

—

Buck didn’t think he’d ever written or replied to so many emails in his life as he did in the first three days of working from home. 

The whole thing had been confusing for Sebastian, his dog, who didn’t seem to really understand why Buck was waking up and doing the whole shower, coffee, spending ten minutes staring into the abyss of his fridge every morning before taking him out on a walk, returning to the apartment and then not leaving. After the third day, Sebastian seemed to get over it. 

By day four, Buck was sort of getting sick of going to work in the kitchen. So, he moved to the living room which worked for about a half hour before Sebastian decided it was a good time to try and get a belly rub which led to no work. He did eventually get some done later when he went back into the kitchen for a Zoom conference with Bobby. 

Taking Sebastian out on walks was basically the only time that Buck was going out. and it was weird how the usually busy streets were empty. He’d been smart about getting enough food to last him a few weeks back before the working from home thing started and Buck was reluctant to go out to any grocery store when he heard all the horror stories about how packed those places were. But since Buck wanted to keep Sebastian on his usual schedule, it meant that he really only went outside three times a day and not for very long at all. 

It wasn’t like Buck even had any real down time when he had to be in meetings or responding to emails or just doing his own solo work. The person that he was mostly emailed was someone he’d never met or worked with before. Eddie Diaz. The first time he’d even laid eyes on the guy was in the initial video conference. 

On the morning of day five, it was an email from Eddie that woke Buke.  

Hey, 

Let me know when you have time and we can get on Zoom. I figure we can go over everything we’ve done so far. 

-Eddie Diaz

Buck went through his morning routine which included push ups and sit ups and a bit of stretching before he got in the shower, got dressed and went down for breakfast but more importantly coffee. Sebastian ate when Buck served him some kibble and then they went out for their morning walk. Buck emailed Eddie back as soon as he’d made it back into the apartment. 

They settled for a Zoom conference in an hour and Buck started preparing everything he’d worked on to share with Eddie. Their collaboration was pretty much imperative for the whole project to work. 

Seeing someone through a computer — especially a stranger someone — was odd. He’d seen Eddie before at this point, but they hadn’t had a one on one video call. 

“Hi,” Eddie said. “How are you?” 

“Uh, good. You? How’s this whole quarantine working out for you?” 

Eddie shrugged his shoulders. “It is what it is. Anyway, so I figure we both have to be on the same page.” 

“Yes. Definitely.” 

It was a little awkward until they started talking about the project and then everything just fell into professionalism. Still, Buck had eyes and he could tell even through the screen that Eddie was attractive. He smiled with all his teeth and his eyes were warm and expressive and Buck could tell that Eddie was as passionate as Buck was about the project. 

“So, we touch in every day?” Buck asked. 

“Yes. Video probably works best. Text always leads to misunderstandings.” 

“You’re right about that.” 

Sebastian chose that moment to bark and when Buck looked at the clock, he was about due for a walk. Before the work from home thing happened, Buck had a dog walker that stopped by every day to take Sebastian out. 

“Oh, is that your dog?” Eddie asked. 

“Yup. Letting me know it’s time for his walk,” Buck said with a roll of his eyes. 

Eddie chuckled. “I’m sure he’s happy to have you at home.” 

“Probably. Or maybe he’s missing the dog walker.” 

Eddie laughed again and when he laughed he looked stupid pretty. “I’ll let you get to your dog, then, Buck. See you tomorrow?” 

“Yeah. See you tomorrow.” 

—-

On day six of quarantine, Eddie had to leave the house. He’d been so busy in the days leading up to the work from home order that he hadn’t had much time to actually stock up on much of anything. Usually that was fine because Eddie wasn’t much of a cook and he relied on whatever his abuela cooked and then pushed Eddie to take home with him. Then there was also Carla who took care of Christopher and not only did the shopping but then the cooking too. Eddie just tended to rely on ordering in, but doing that every day was both bad for his wallet and probably not good for him or his kid. 

The only annoying part about all of it was that he was going to have to take Christopher out. Eddie would have preferred otherwise, but he didn’t want to bother his abuela or Carla. It was just a matter of being very careful. But before they could go out, Eddie needed to do his daily call with Buck. 

“Okay, buddie, I want you to get working on your reading, okay? I have to do work for a bit but then we’re going shopping.” 

He set up the computer and went and grabbed himself a glass of water before he initiated the call. He almost laughed when Buck picked up. 

So far, Buck had always been dressed as if he were actually going to the office. Polos and button ups and nice sweaters, but on this day he’d apparently given up on that because he was in a dark tank top and his hair had gained a bit of curl to it. 

“Hi,” Buck said. “Sorry I look a mess.”

“You look fine,” Eddie said. “I usually look a mess, so it’s a nice change.” 

“Funny,” Buck said. 

Eddie just shook his head at him. “No, it’s fine. You look fine.” 

Better than fine, probably, since Buck was just effortlessly attractive and there was something about the dishevelled look that really did it for Eddie. 

They got to business talk, answering questions and suggesting things for the next phase of the project. They were actually both doing well with their deadlines. Of course with the whole Covid-19 thing getting worse and worse, no one knew if rollout would go on as planned. 

“And what else are up to today?” Buck asked once the business talk was over. 

“I have to go grocery shopping,” Eddie said. “Kinda a hassle because I have a son.” 

“Wait, you have a kid?” Buck said, he practically shouted it and his eyes widened. “Sorry. I just...I really love kids.” 

Eddie chuckled. “Yeah, he’s eight. His mom’s not in the picture, so it’s just the two of us.” 

“And you’re going to take him out?” Buck asked, frowning. “You know how crazy the stores are right now, right?” 

“Kinda unavoidable. Can’t leave him home alone and I don’t have anyone to watch him and we need to get a few things.”

“For your sake, I hope you’re not hoping to find toilet paper,” Buck said. 

Eddie rolled his eyes. “No. Small mercies. I bought some before all this madness. Just after food, really.”

“So get it delivered. There’s apps for that now.”

Eddie hadn’t even considered that possibility but Buck was right. “You know, I think you just made my day a lot easier.” 

“Good. I’m glad. Anything to help you, man.” 

“Thanks,” Eddie said. “And what are you up to?” 

The thing about talking to Buck was that it gave him a connection to the outside world. Sure Eddie called abuela and his tia every day to check in with them and see how they were doing or if they needed anything but that felt different than talking to Buck. Even talking to his parents who were in a whole other state or his sisters — when they felt like answering the phone — was  less stimulating. Maybe it was because they were family and Buck wasn’t. 

“I am hanging out with Sebastian for the day and catching up on some Netflix. Might bake something. I’ve been having the worst sweet tooth but unless I eat straight sugar, I don’t have anything sweet in this house.” 

“Sebastian is...”

“My dog,” Buck said with a grin. “I know, human name. No one gets it but my favorite Disney movie is—”

“The Little Mermaid,” Eddie finished for him. 

“Exactly.” 

Eddie shook his head at Buck. “Okay, I’m going to figure out this grocery delivery thing.” 

“It might not be same day,” Buck said. “Maybe it depends.” 

“I have enough food to get by for at least a few more days. But better to get this out of the way.” 

“Yup,” Buck said. 

“And what about you? Did you go out and stock up before all of this?” 

Buck rubbed at his neck in what was clearly a nervous habit. “I bought a lot of stuff,” he said. “But I figured it was best to with all that’s going on. Really, it’s our responsibility to stay home right now. And it doesn’t look like this will be over any time soon.” 

“It doesn’t,” Eddie said. He kind of hated admitting that because it meant that things wouldn’t get back to normal faster. 

Eddie just wasn’t too big a fan of spending a lot of time in doors. That just wasn’t who he was. And Christopher had already been asking about going to the park. Eddie had taken him outside into the yard for a while every day but he could tell that Christopher was getting bored of that and bored of not being able to see his friends. 

“Okay, I’ll go figure that out now. I’ll email you if I have any questions.” 

Buck rolled his eyes. “Just video chat me. I’m kind of liking this a lot more than I expected.” 

It took Eddie about twenty minutes before he called Buck to ask for help. 

—-

On days seven and eight, Buck binged an entire show on Netflix. He got no work done, but he did manage to talk to Eddie for a part of his day. It was practically becoming routine. Sebastian had even decided to make an appearance and Eddie couldn’t praise Sebastian enough. 

“He’s gorgeous,” Eddie said. 

Sebastian was a cocker spaniel mixed with golden retriever. It was easy to see the different breeds in him and in Buck’s opinion it only made him cuter and it helped that when Buck adopted him, he was already well trained that he didn’t have to put too much effort into getting him to listen. 

On day ten, Eddie video called him for a second time late at night while Buck was in the middle of making dinner. He was in the middle of mashing potatoes but he still grabbed his laptop and set it up somewhere that the camera could see him. 

“Hey,” Buck said. “Anything going on?” 

“Not with work,” Eddie said. “Just — okay, so I’m a horrible cook and the internet isn’t exactly helping.”

“What is it?” Buck asked. 

“What does fold mean? Oh...I’m making chocolate mousse.” He panned the camera to where he’d already whipped some cream.

“That’s ambitious,” Buck said with a grin. “And folding just means that you mix it very gently.”

He gave Eddie instructions as he did it and it was definitely an experience to help someone cook — well, mix — something while not being present. 

“Thank you so much, Buck. I had no idea who else to ask.” 

“Really. I was your best option?” 

Eddie shrugged. “My abuela has never made mousse in her life. She makes Mexican things so. And my sisters would never let me live this down.” 

“Ah. So I’m the least embarrassing option.” 

“I suppose.” 

At that moment a kid ran right into the shot. He was small with curly blond-ish hair, and glasses. 

“Daddy, is it ready?” the boy asked. 

Eddie’s son was adorable. He was also disabled but it was very clear that it wasn’t something that defined him. And the way that Eddie looked at his son, it warmed Buck’s heart. There was just so much love between them that it was palpable.  

“Almost, Christopher. How about you go wash your hands?” 

“Okay.” 

He left again and Buck could hear — now that he knew — the way that his crutches clinked on the floor. 

“That’s Christopher,” Buck said. 

“Oh. Yes. That’s my son.”

“He’s adorable, Eddie. Like I said, I love kids.”

Eddie smiled wide, his teeth showing. “Yeah...well that one is my world.” 

“And you said the mother isn’t in the picture?” Buck asked.

Eddie shook his head. “No. She’s not. We’re divorced actually, but I have no clue where she is now. I don’t think I would even let her see him if she came looking. Not when she’ll just leave him again. I, um, I have primary custody and she didn’t even try to fight me on it.” 

“That sucks, man. Poor kid.” 

Eddie gave a nod. “He still talks about her sometimes but I think he understands she isn’t coming back.” 

It had to be hard raising a disabled child with an absentee mother. It made Buck admire Eddie even more. 

Eddie kept him on the call even when his son came back and he’d placed a couple of spoons of the chocolate mousse on a small bowl. 

“And what are you cooking over there, Buck?” 

“Mashed potatoes,” Buck said, “to go with my chicken breast. And maybe I’ll make a salad too.” 

“So you’re eating a healthy meal and I’m over here hoping my kid doesn’t start jumping off the walls after all that sugar.” 

“I hope that’s not all you’re having for dinner,” Buck said. 

“No. We had sandwiches earlier. That’s really the extent of my cooking. And he knows it too. Doesn’t expect much.” 

They stayed up talking that night while Buck got his dinner together and even as Buck started to eat. For Buck it practically feelt natural to have Eddie there on his computer. He didn’t care that he was wearing a stained t-shirt and that he hadn’t bothered with his hair all day and that Eddie was going to watch him as he ate. 

They talked about the virus because it wasn’t a topic anyone could easily escape, and then Buck told Eddie that his sister was actually a nurse. 

“She’s right in the thick of this. I’m so worried she’ll catch it but she just says it’s the hazard of the job. And it’s not like I could even stop by her place to see her now. I just worry.” 

“Well tell her I admire her a lot for working through this time.” 

“Thanks,” Buck said. “I’ll pass that along.” 

Eventually the conversation topic switched to something else until Buck’s plate was completely clean and yet he and Eddie just kept talking. Eddie told him about his family in Texas and then about his abuela and tia. 

“It’s my cousins that are really taking care of them,” Eddie said. “They get it. I have Christopher and everything. But I just hope they’re both okay after all of this since it seems like it’s harder on anyone that’s older.” 

“I’m sure they will be,” Buck said. “It’s all about staying home.”

“Yeah.” Eddie said. “Abuela gets stir crazy. So do I, to be honest.” 

—-

Day eleven was a bit of a hard day. He and Eddie didn’t talk at all but Maddie called him in tears because one of her patients died. He spent over an hour on the phone with her talking about it. The virus really wasn’t something to take lightly. After being reprimanded to stay home — even though he already was — Maddie let him go. 

On day twelve they had a big conference call with everyone working on the project. Bobby wanted information from everyone and it was lucky that he and Eddie shared everything with each other because when Eddie didn’t appear on the call, Buck was able to show them everything from his end. He tried not to display how worried he was, but he did send an email Eddie’s way. There was no response. 

Not hearing from Eddie made him antsy. It made him want to leave his apartment and go over to Eddie’s to make sure that he was okay. Buck with everything going on, Buck knew that he couldn’t be rash like that. 

It was on day fourteen that first thing in the morning, Eddie video called. 

“Oh my god, are you okay?” Buck asked before Eddie could even say hello.

“I’m fine. I should have emailed you, I guess. Things got a little out of hand. My cousin has the virus so I’ve been basically stuck on the phone because my tia Pepa was in contact with her and so abuela is freaking out. Pepa doesn’t seem to be showing any symptoms but she’s getting tested today and of course all the other family wanted to make sure I hadn’t been exposed or Christopher. So I’ve been a bit busy. But you were worried?” 

Buck knew he was blushing. “I may have worried a little.” 

“Or a lot,” Eddie said with a smile. “It’s cute.” 

“Well, we’re in quarantine, what else was I supposed to do?” 

Eddie just shrugged, but his smile was pleased and Buck was starting to figure out that he maybe didn’t have any friends like Eddie. That maybe Eddie was more than a friend or someone that could be more than a friend. 

“How’s your sister doing?” 

“She’s still working and still holding on. I don’t know how she can be this strong.” 

Eddie nodded along. “It’s amazing, isn’t it? How strong someone can be — how amazing it is to be witness of that? Christopher is probably the strongest person I know.” 

“I can imagine,” Buck said. “What, um, what is—”

“He has CP,” Eddie said. “But that hasn’t stopped him from doing anything he wants to do.” 

The way that Eddie smiled when he talked about Christopher was almost enough to have Buck smitten. The thing was that he’d never connected with anyone the way that he connected to Eddie. Buck hoped that when it was all over, he wouldn’t lose the friendship or any of what he was hoping was building between them. 

—-

By the time that it had been twenty one days on quarantine — a whole three weeks — Eddie was just about ready to tear his hair off. His growing hair because due to everything but essential businesses remaining open the likelihood of finding a hair salon was low. Eddie didn’t really mind that his hair got longer, it just meant that there were more steps to taking care of it. And even though all he really did these days was watch movies with his son, Eddie still felt like he needed to look good. None of it had anything to do with how he and Buck were still video chatting every day and the length of those calls kept growing and growing. 

Work had pretty much come to a stand still. The project was nearly finished but without a rollout date there wasn’t much for them to do. It meant that things were getting boring. 

He and Christopher had done as much as possible to not get bored. They went outside for an hour most days even if it was just to sit out in the sun. It just felt nice to get outside sometimes. 

Other days they watched movies or shows or Christopher did some drawing and played with his toys. Buck was also there for most things through the screen of his computer or phone. Buck made things a bit more bearable even if Eddie could tell that he was also stir crazy. The only time that Buck went out was to walk Sebastian, but on a few occasions even while out on a walk he would call Eddie and Eddie would get a glimpse of the nearly empty streets.

“I wish I could be out there with you,” Eddie said on a sunny day. Day twenty three of quarantine. 

Buck was on a walk with Sebastian and it was eerie how everything looked just a tad too empty. 

“When this is all over we can go on the longest walk,” Buck said. “We can visit every ice cream shop and any taqueria. We can do anything you want.” 

“Eager to meet me in person, Buck?” 

“Maybe a little,” Buck said and he was just so completely honest.

Eddie would be lying if he didn’t feel something for Buck. There was the friendship they’d formed and the fondness but there was more too. Maybe it was because they were so open with each other and maybe a bit vulnerable, but it was also that Buck was sweet and wonderful and that he genuinely seemed interested in Christopher. 

Eddie would forever remember what happened on what must have been day seventeen or maybe it was sixteen — the days were really blurring together — when Christopher had gotten curious about why Eddie was laughing. 

“I’m just talking to a friend. A coworker.” 

“A friend?” Christopher asked. 

“Yeah. Hey, Buck, you want to meet Christopher?” 

“Of course.” 

Eddie knew that Buck said that he liked kids, but he didn’t expect the patience or the interest that Buck bestowed on Christopher. He didn’t seem to mind listening to Christopher talk about homeschooling or even a silly story about the bunny they’d spotted out in the yard a few days earlier. 

Buck was just wonderful. He asked about Christopher every single call and if Christopher wasn’t busy with schoolwork then sometimes Buck would just talk to Christopher. Buck was just kind of perfect. 

“Are you for real, you want to meet up once we can leave our houses?” Eddie asked. 

Buck chuckled and he ducked his head. His cheeks were noticeably pink even through the phone and Eddie really really liked him. He was adorable. 

“Yes, Eddie. Or should I say, Edmundo.” 

Eddie rolled his eyes. “I told you that with so much confidence and if you keep bringing it up I’m just going to start calling you Evan.” 

“Fine. But, yeah, Eddie. I think you’re one of my closest friends.”

“That’s just quarantine talk,” Eddie said.

Even though for him, it wasn’t. It couldn’t be. The way that he felt about Buck...the way that he felt happy whenever he saw Buck was calling, it made Eddie so absolutely sure that it was more than friendship because they were relying on each other for outside contact. 

“It’s not,” Buck said in all seriousness. “I like you, Eddie. And I think if we had met in any other way I would have liked you then too.”

Talking about his feelings had never been easy for Eddie. What Shannon did to him and Christopher had maybe made that so much worse. 

So it was hard to say it, but Eddie felt like he would burst if he didn’t. “I like you too.”

“Is that a blush?” Buck asked with a goofy grin that told Eddie that Buck was pleased. 

“I’m going to go now. I’ll talk to you later,” Eddie said because he didn’t know if he could keep talking to Buck without being a mess. 

—-

He felt like he could fly, like the butterflies in his stomach from the first moment that he told Eddie he liked him, were ready to just lift him right off the ground. 

And Eddie saying that he liked him too, it nearly killed him to hear it and Buck just wanted for Eddie to be sure that Buck did mean it. 

So with very little to do for work and boredom creeping into almost everything he did, Buck started to plan. There was a way to use Zoom for screen sharing and Buck had helped Eddie with his grocery order so he knew where Eddie lived. He also knew that Eddie and Christopher were both fans of chocolate. 

So Buck called up a local bakery and ordered cupcakes to be delivered to Eddie that night. The girl on the phone seemed entirely pleased with getting the order at all and it made Buck wonder how much business they were actually having. It made him order some cupcakes for himself as well. 

Then he browsed through Netflix for something that Eddie would enjoy but that Christopher could watch too. He found a few different choices and figured he’d just offer Eddie a choice and then he went and got ready. Cleaning himself up a bit and even shaving the growing beard on his face. Then he put on one of his favorite shirts and went down and got his laptop and settled himself on his couch. He got up only when his cupcakes arrived, being just dropped off at his door which meant that Eddie would get his soon too. Buck was going to wait for Eddie to just call him after it arrived. 

The call came just ten minutes later. It was Eddie and Christopher. Christopher had clearly already eaten a cupcake because there was frosting on his nose. 

“You got them?” Buck asked.

“Yeah. Buck, I — you’re incredible. You know?”

Buck smiled at them. “And just wait, I have a whole night planned for us. A quarantine date, if you will.”

“Daddy, what’s that?”

“What?” Eddie asked. 

“What Buck just said.”

Watching Eddie with Christopher and the way that he was such a good dad, it did things to Buck. Buck had always loved kids. He didn’t get a lot of opportunity to be around kids, but he’d always wanted to be a dad. Someday. Maddie often said that it was mostly because he was such a kid that he got along so well with most children. And Buck could tell that Eddie was a good dad. It somehow made him even more attractive. 

—-

When the doorbell rang, Eddie had almost expected it to be one of his cousins or maybe his tia. Instead, he opened it and found a cardboard box from a bakery and atop it an envelope with a note. Eddie took it all into the kitchen, gave the outside of the box a wipe with some lyrol surface wipes and then opened the envelope and pulled out a small card. 

Eddie, 

I figure why wait for our first date? I’m sending you something sweet for you and Christopher and I’m setting up a movie date for the three of us. 

Call me when you get this, I’ll be waiting. 

-Buck

Eddie had never experienced someone like Buck before. Eddie just hadn’t expected for Buck to make a gesture like this and it was just unattached to any expectations and Buck just included Christopher like it was the natural thing to do. 

“Daddy, what is it?” Christopher asked. 

“My friend. You remember from the computer?”

“Buck!” Christopher yelled out. 

“Yes, that one. He sent us a present.” 

Chistopher made a noise in excitement and Eddie chuckled before he opened the box. There were twelve cupcakes inside, each expertly frosted and they were clearly themed. Eddie shook his head and tried not to laugh when he looked at them. There were four rows and each of the rows were decorated differently. The first one was blue frosting with a single roll of toilet paper sitting at the top. The next one had a spray bottle. The one after that had a face mask. The last had hearts. 

“Can I have one, Daddy? Please?” 

Eddie gave in and let Christopher pick out his treat. Then he went and grabbed his laptop to call Buck. 

“You got them?” Buck asked the moment he appeared on the screen. 

“Yeah. Buck, I — you’re incredible. You know?”

Buck smiled at them. He looked good. The scruff that had been growing on his jaw was gone but his hair was still a bit on the curlier side and Buck had explained that it was because it was getting long. Eddie loved it. 

 “And just wait, I have a whole night planned for us. A quarantine date, if you will,” Buck said, his smile was so wide and Eddie wished that they were in the same place because if they were he might have kissed him. 

“Daddy what’s that?” Christopher asked. He was right in the view of the camera and his face was a little messy from the cupcake he was eating. 

“What?” Eddie asked. 

“What Buck just said.”

“It means that since we can’t leave the house we’re going to stay here and he’s going to stay at his apartment but we’re going to hang out. How does that sound, kiddo?” 

“Fun,” Christopher said. 

Eddie looked back at the screen. “So, what does this date entail?” 

Buck smiled at him. “Okay, so I did a bit of research and I was going to try to use Netflix Party for this but then we’d lose the video chat aspect. But we can do screen sharing with Zoom so how about a movie date?”

“Sounds perfect, Buck.”

Buck grinned. “Awesome.”

It was perfect in a weirdly unconventional way. Buck had picked out movies that were Christopher friendly and with Christopher right there, they had a quick choice. Hook. Buck admitted that he’d never actually seen it before. 

“We weren’t big on movies growing up,” Buck admitted. 

“That’s kinda sad, Buck,” Eddie said. “Have you been catching up on everything you missed while you’re stuck at home?” 

Buck rolled his eyes. “Sort of.”

Christopher had never seen Hook either and he was excited when Buck got everything set up on his end. Watching a movie with another person that wasn’t in the room with him was different and yet watching Buck’s reactions to the movie on the screen and the way that they almost matched Christophers was endearing. Eddie really really liked Buck. 

—-

Quarantine kept going. No one knew when it was going to end. By day thirty three, Buck was really getting sick of it. He took Sebastian out on longer and longer walks and he spent as much time as he could out on his balcony, overlooking the empty streets and the very few people taking walks outside. He and Eddie still used Zoom as the primary form of contact, but they’d exchanged numbers too so that they texted constantly, sending memes back and forth because that was one of the few good things to come out of the whole mess. 

Eddie made it all a bit better, even though Buck couldn’t actually be with him. But the prospect of finally getting to see him in person kept Buck going. Almost every day one of them mentioned all the numerous things that they wanted to do once they were allowed out again. 

“I want to go to a museum,” Buck said. “Art or history — it doesn’t even matter. I just want to go. And you’re welcome to come with me.” 

“I want to go to a restaurant and actually be able to eat there,” Eddie said. 

“Amusement park,” Buck added. “A concert.” 

“The mall. I hate shopping, but I’d love to be able to go to the mall.” 

“I’d even love to go back into the office. Or...maybe just anywhere with you.”

Eddie always had a pleased look when Buck mentioned the two of them getting together. They didn’t talk about it often, but they had Zoom dates every other day watching movies or eating together often with Christopher butting in not that Buck minded that in the least. It was late at night when Christopher was in bed that Buck and Eddie had time alone and in the cover of darkness things were different. That was when things got deep. 

It was late at night that Eddie told Buck about Christopher’s mother, Shannon and the turbulent relationship. It was also when Buck told Eddie about Abby and how she left him. They shared stories about growing up and about how they each figured out their attraction to men and women. They talked about Christopher’s CP. They talked about how Buck didn’t actually love his job but that it was something he’d fallen into. Eddie told Buck about his time in the Army. 

Other nights it was different. Less morose. 

They talked about them. About how strange it was to fall for someone over Zoom of all things and yet how their connection was real. The attraction was real. And they both absolutely longed for the day when they could be in person together. 

“I’m going to kiss you so hard, Edmundo Diaz,” Buck said one night after yet another movie night. Christopher was in bed and Buck had walked up to his own bed as well. “You won’t know it’s coming.”

“Well, you’ve just given me warning so now I’m expecting it, Evan,”

“As long as you’ll kiss me back,” Buck said. 

“Of course I’ll kiss you back. I’ll always kiss you back.” 

—-

Day forty hit Eddie hard when he realized that it had been forty days since he stepped outside his house. Christopher was so adaptable that he was fine with the way things were. And truth be told, Eddie had gotten used to working from home. He’d also gotten really used to having Buck on a screen for most of the day or just a text away. Buck texted him good morning every morning when he woke up and Eddie would call him on Zoom and take him along as he and Christopher did their morning routine. 

Buck even taught Eddie how to make pancakes one morning when he was in the middle of eating some and Christopher wanted some too. Eddie usually relied on mixes that just needed water, but Buck instructed him and Christopher until the finished result was fluffy discs that he and Christopher ate ravenously. It made Eddie wish he could have Buck in person. 

The longer the quarantine went, the more that Eddie longed to see Buck off a computer screen. If it wasn’t for Christopher and his CP, Eddie would have already gone and asked Buck to come over or gone to join him at his apartment. But even though Buck had been stuck inside his home and clearly wasn’t sick, Eddie wasn’t stupid enough to risk it. 

So instead he and Buck daydreamed of the day they would finally get their in person date. 

“You know,” Buck said on day forty three, “we’ve been on so many virtual dates already that we should be way past third base.”

Eddie laughed at that. “Oh, Buck.” 

“Listen,” Buck said in a quieter tone, “you don’t make it easy looking like you do.”

“And somehow I’m just fine even though you look like that,” Eddie said. 

Buck just pouted at him. It made him look cute more than anything. Eddie pushed his hair back. It had grown quite a bit since he hadn’t been able to go out and get a haircut but Buck seemed to like the length. It made Eddie consider keeping it. 

Some days they just threw out date ideas at each other. Buck told him he would take Eddie out on a hot air balloon and they could have a picnic up in the clouds. Eddie wanted to take him rock climbing. Buck wanted to go to the zoo but mostly because Christopher wanted to. Eddie wanted the two of them to go hiking. Buck wanted to take Eddie to the beach to hang out at the pier but also out on the sand so they could build sand castles together. Eddie mentioned being good at bowling and Buck wanted to beat him at it. Buck also wanted to beat him at pool. Mostly, though, the two of them wanted to do anything as long as they could do it together. 

But their work from home was being extended as was the stay at home order. Things were bad and Eddie couldn’t really handle watching the news anymore because it was always more and more depressing. 

He could tell that it was getting to Buck some days more than others. 

“I just — I hate this, you know, the staying inside and the lack of seeing anyone but then you hear all these things about the number of cases and it’s horrible. And my sister is right in the thick of it and she’s okay but I worry about her. She called me last night and she was just crying the entire time. And it’s just horrible. And then you have all these idiots not taking it seriously even forty something days into this quarantine and I don’t get it.” 

“I don’t get it either, Buck. I really don’t.”

—-

Buck stopped counting the days after day forty five because counting made him feel more like a prisoner in his own home more than anything else. So when the stay at home order was finally lifted after what felt like a couple of year length months, it was Eddie that told him they had been in quarantine for nearly seventy days. 

“That’s impossible,” Buck said. 

“My hair says otherwise,” Eddie said. 

At some point, Buck remembered Eddie trying to figure out how to cut his own hair and it had been a combination of Christopher thinking it was a bad idea and Buck repeatedly telling Eddie that he didn’t mind the longer hair that stopped him from doing it. 

“It’s still going to be a while before life goes back to normal,” Buck said. 

Eddie shrugged his shoulders. “But there’s an end in sight now.”

They were still going to keep working from home but the prospect of getting back to the office made things better. It also meant that they all needed to get back on track which began with another Zoom conference with Bobby and all the others. 

Buck looked professional again which made Eddie laugh a little. 

“What’s so funny, Diaz?” Buck asked. 

Everyone was paying attention to him and he could feel himself blushing. “Nothing. Nothing. Let’s get the meeting started.” 

It was after the meeting that Buck called him. He was in a t-shirt and looking a lot more relaxed which made Eddie burst out into laughter. 

“You changed,” Eddie said. 

“Yeah. So?” 

“It’s just cute you dressed up for the meeting,” Eddie said. “You’re just adorable, Buck.” 

“I’m—”

“I like it,” Eddie said and then after taking a deep breath. “So, when can I see you?” 

“Now?” Buck asked. 

—-

The first time that Buck saw Eddie in person he felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest. He didn’t know why he was so nervous after all the time they’d spent talking and after everything they’d shared with each other but when Eddie noticed him and smiled Buck took a breath and stepped forward. 

“Hi,” he said. 

“Hi,” Eddie said back. 

“It’s nice to not see you on a screen for once,” Buck said.

“Yeah. I think I prefer this.” 

“Me too.”

It was different and a little bit awkward but it was him and Eddie and when Buck offered his hand to him, Eddie took it and laced their fingers and Buck knew with some certainty that things would work out. They may have met over Zoom video conference but it didn’t in any way make what they felt less real or less important. 

“So,” Eddie said.

“So,” Buck said and they both laughed until Buck moved closer. He could smell Eddie’s aftershave and their hands were still linked which grounded him as he leaned into Eddie’s space and kissed him. Eddie pulled him closer, gasping against his lips and deepening the kiss. 

“Told you I was going to kiss you,” Buck said. 

---

Notes: Thank you to anyone that read this. Considering the current situation across the world I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy. 

Find my other Buddie fics here 

[macgyvermedical]

Email From My Parents’ Former Chiropractor, a Medical Review

I had to read that and now so do you. But guess what? I also get to tear it apart line by line with extreme prejudice. And not the bad kind. At. All. 

This went out to probably close to a thousand people.

People will die because of this email.

“We have been keeping up with the true data from the CDC and WHO that is giving very accurate information on this virus.“

I’m relatively neutral on this. The CDC and WHO are probably some of the most official sources. They’re a little behind (1-2 days for WHO, and both only update every 24 hours), but overall no one would fault him for citing them as sources. Here’s the source I’ve been using.

My biggest problem with that beginning is that the sentence structure is... alarmingly presidential.

“First, this is not a new virus. It's been known to cause respiratory problems since the 1960's.”

The group of viruses called “coronavirus” have been identified since 1965. But there are hundreds of unique viruses in this group, and 7 of them infect humans at very different severities. The most recent one, identified in December 2019 and now named SARS-CoV-2, is definitely a coronavirus, but it’s also definitely not one we’ve seen before.

“So far, the new coronavirus has led to more than 100,000 illnesses and more than 3,000 deaths worldwide.”

I mean, he’s technically right that it’s “more than” 100,000 cases. But this email went out today, when confirmed cases were a lot closer to 784,400 and deaths were 37,780 (see source above). Even the WHO numbers today are 693,224 and 33,106 respectively. So my best guess is he was writing this on March 7th (per WHO sitreps) and didn’t bother to update it before sending it out March 30th.

“In the U.S. alone, the flu has caused an estimated 34 million illnesses, 350,000 hospitalizations and 20,000 deaths this season... Per the CDC data, the flu virus as far more contagious and deadlier.”

This info is also substantially out of date. Currently, these numbers are 38 mil, 400,000, and 24,000 respectively.

I have to say, I did fall for the corona vs flu false equivalency once upon a time, but I’ve learned and grown a lot since then. We’re prepared for the number of hospital beds we need for (seasonal-not-pandemic) flu. We know how fast spreads and we have a vaccine that offers at least partial protection from it. We have widespread testing for it. We’re relatively comfortable with it’s severity and mortality rate.

But you heard it here last: with the data we have right now, none of those things apply to covid-19. We don’t have the beds, ventilators, or PPE to take all of it’s excessive illness on, which leads to higher mortality rates. It's more contagious than flu (infecting 2-2.5 people per infected person, vs seasonal flu’s 1.3). We don’t have a vaccine or significant natural immunity. We don’t have adequate testing, so we don’t know enough to know if anything we do know is close to correct. All of that makes it much, much worse than seasonal flu despite numbers.

“What to do? First, all patients are responsible for their own immune system.”

I mean, sure, okay, you have the responsibility to make the best choices you can for you in the situation that you’re in. That’s fair. And generally people do. But saying you’re responsible for your own immune system seems to imply that if you get covid-19, it’s your own dang fault because you weren’t responsible enough?

If that stresses you out, rest easy in that you don’t control nearly as much of your health status (look up the Whitehall Studies) and immune status (look up the Pittsburgh Cold Studies and a paper that came out of them titled “Types of Stressors That Increase Susceptibility to the Common Cold in Healthy Adults” by Cohen et al, 1998), as people like to think you do.

“When a bacteria or virus enter the body, your bodies natural immune system will attack this foreign body by creating an antibody that will destroy these foreign viruses or bacteria's (sic)...”

Okay, sure, that’s not a bad explanation.

“...So, when someone isolates themselves, the virus will still be "out there" and vaccinations will not stop the spread of any virus. A vaccination will force your body to make antibodies, which is the body's natural response to a virus. In other words, the virus will populate the world.“

I’ll be honest, I don’t entirely understand what he means with this passage, but I’ll give it my best shot.

If you never come into contact with a virus, it’s certainly true that you won’t ever get antibodies from it naturally. You also won’t get sick, and won’t have the opportunity to spread it to other people. That’s, like... the entire point of isolation.

But if a vaccine exists, that gives you the opportunity to have the best of both worlds- you get to make antibodies, and you never have to get sick! Score!

And if a lot of people have the antibodies, the illness can’t spread through the population (”herd” or “community” immunity), meaning that very few people get sick. You don’t have to be exposed to the virus after being vaccinated in order to become immune. The vaccine is literally the part of the virus the body needs to be exposed to to learn how to create antibodies.

He then goes on to list the ways in which you can build a strong immune system to fight covid-19. These suggestions include:

“Eat Healthy Natural Foods: These foods have the vitamins and nutriatiants (sic) your body needs to build its immune system.”

Sure, healthy food is good for you. No one’s arguing with you there.

“Get Adjusted: Every tissue in the body depends 100% nerve supply from the brain. These nerves carry all the cells information to repair and regenerate injured tissue. When the nervous systems is interfered with, this communication system between the brain and the tissue cells is weakened, therefore causing decreased immune response.”

This isn’t wrong so much as poorly worded. The brain (and vagus nerve) is involved in healing injured or infected tissues, particularly as part of modulating inflammatory response and eliciting reactions like vomiting, mucous production, and coughing to get rid of irritating substances. The inflammatory response kicks off the healing process, and we know that if the vagus nerve has been cut or in some other way interfered with, there is not as much inflammation across the board (which is why vagus nerve simulators have been shown to work against arthritis).

I’m not sure if there’s literature on chiropractic care improving this, but I certainly don’t think it’s impossible.

May I, however, suggest an editor at this point?

“Sleep 7-9 hours per night: Cellular regeneration happens mostly a night. Drink enough water: Dehydrate causes stress in the body, that will weakened the immune system.“

Great!

“Take natural supplements: These will help your immune systems, if you are not getting enough nutrients and vitamins through your healthy diet.”

Supplements generally aren’t necessary for most people (unless they have a diagnosed deficiency), but if you just like taking a multivitamin no one’s stopping you. Just don’t go overboard.

“P.S. Our team at [redacted] Chiropractic is super healthy. We follow the above guidelines!! We are asking anyone who may be ill, to stay home, or even more important get adjusted in our office [emphasis added]. Just let us know you are not feeling well and we will get you in and out with minimal contact with others. We take pride in cleanliness with all our patients. Hope to see you soon.”

I just... felt the need to leave that last paragraph in it’s entirety. If you’re all the way at the end of this post, you really deserve to read it again and let it sink in that he’s ASKING SOMEONE TO GO OUT IN PUBLIC WITH COVID-19 IN THE MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC, IN AN AREA WHERE A “SHELTER IN PLACE” ORDER HAS BEEN ISSUED.

As medical facilities, chiropractic offices are allowed to stay open. I don’t mind this generally. A lot of people rely on chiropractic care for pain control and I would never want to take that away from them if there was another way.

But I work at a doctor’s office (sometimes). We are all but refusing to see patients in the office unless absolutely necessary to comply with social distancing rules and conserve PPE. If I were a chiropractor right now, I would be limiting my services to emergencies or people who really can’t get along without it, and encouraging people to NOT COME IN IF THEY KNOW OR SUSPECT THEY ARE SICK HOLY CRAP MAN STAP.

That’s like, the bare, bare minimum.

Thank you for reading.

[arabellaflynn]

I am so fucking over this plague thing. More accurately, I am so fucking over everybody being paranoid of this plague thing. Leaving the house isn't giving me panic attacks because of covid, it's because of all the goddamned people.

Look. I understand why people are afraid. When covid goes bad, it can go really bad, like 'intensive care with invasive ventilation' bad. It's just that this amount of fear is incompatible with also getting on with your life in any meaningful way, not to mention it's out of proportion with reality. Hospitalization rates of people with a confirmed case of COVID-19 (so, not counting people who never bothered to get tested, or people who have been exposed and fought the virus off, or people who have never been exposed) is about 82 per 100,000, or 0.082%. Condoms, when used properly, have about a 2% failure rate. If you trust in condoms to keep you childfree, you can trust reasonable, non-paranoid precautions to keep you from dying of covid.

If you catch covid, and you're an otherwise healthy non-elderly person, your experience is overwhelmingly likely to be like the one I had with chicken pox. I was born in 1981, so my prime years as a disease vector were before the varicella zoster vaccine. I caught chicken pox when I was 8 or 9. It blew. I was off school for two weeks, and I spent every moment of that itching like a motherfucker. But, like 59,999 out of 60,000 chicken pox sufferers, I got over it, and I'm still here. This doesn't mean that it's pointless to try to avoid catching it, and it definitely doesn't argue in favor of holding "chicken pox parties" so you can give it to other people on purpose. That's just idiocy. But it does mean that going to Howard Hughes-esque lengths in order to avoid ever coming into contact with it is maybe a little bit of an overreaction.

"Flatten the curve" was never meant to keep us all from catching COVID-19. The novel coronavirus is now endemic in the human population. Everyone is going to get this. Probably not every few months, like rhinovirus-driven colds, but more like pre-vaccine influenza, where if you had common sense and a bit of luck, you'd have a sucky few weeks once or twice a decade. The idea behind "flatten the curve" was to keep everyone from catching it at the same time, so that the number of cases that did need hospitalization never exceeded the number of available hospital beds. Believe it or not the news did explain that part, in tiny words, but everyone seems to have forgotten.

I had to hike into the next town over to pick up some stuff the other day. One of my roommates gawped in horror when I mentioned that I only wear a mask when around people. The Commonwealth of Massachusetts requires face coverings when indoors or when maintaining a distance of at least six feet from other people is impractical. That's fair; those are the circumstances under which cloth masks impede the spread of droplet-borne viral illnesses, be they COVID-19 or some other crap you've picked up. I had a mask, because I was going to talk to another human, and a good chunk of my route went through a populated area where I was likely to meet other people on the sidewalk. But a good chunk of my route also went through parks and quiet suburbs. I was outdoors, a place with notoriously good ventilation, and it was easy to stay 10+ feet away from the few people I saw. Under those conditions, masks have no effect. As long as you handle them by the ear pieces -- because you have been breathing damp schmutz all over the face part -- you can in fact take them off to cool down and breathe, and re-set them when you see people approaching again.

Said roommate wears a mask from the instant she exits the front door to the very moment she gets back in. Even when walking the dog in our wide-open neighborhood, where there is so little traffic you can dodge the other dog-walkers and joggers by walking down the middle of the street if you want. The neighbor kids bike and play games in the road all the time. You can wear a mask under those conditions if you want to, but I can't. I already have a hard enough time not being able to breathe when exerting myself in hot, humid weather. At that point, it's not doing anything physical. Its sole purpose is to act as a talisman to allay your own anxiety about all things covid. Not just anxieties about catching it, but anxieties about not displaying the correct amount of conformity and community-mindedness. I'm not really surprised; virtue signalling is something of a local sport. But that is what's going on. 

Another roommate has taken to disinfecting all the groceries. He started out using wipes but then we ran out, so now he's just got a spray bottle of Clorox and water sitting on the kitchen windowsill. I have politely gone along with this for the most part, but I also intercept my own deliveries, lest he get it into his head to bleach my raw produce. Dr Fauci does not bleach his groceries; I know, because Colbert was a wiseass and asked him on national TV. It's possible to get covid from contaminated surfaces in the same way it's possible to get herpes from a toilet seat, in the sense that it doesn't contradict any known laws of physics, but it's so unlikely that if you can actually demonstrate that it happened you will get written up as a case study. And frankly it doesn't matter what kind of terrifying things are on the outside of your packages as long as you wash your hands.

For those of you who do not have a psychiatric diagnosis, this is what's called an anxiety spiral. Something makes you anxious and you start to see it in terms of risks to your safety, so naturally your response is to start thinking about how to avoid it. You make a plan. But then you start noticing that your plan may not reduce that risk to zero, or may present risks of its own, so you make a second-order plan to plaster over those. But then that plan has holes, so then you need a third-order plan, and so on and so forth quite literally ad infinitum if you can keep it up that long, or until you decompensate rather spectacularly if you can't. The less reliable, concrete information you have about what's going to happen, the worse it gets. If you let it continue to the point of pathology -- which I am starting to see among the general population -- you eventually dig yourself in so deep that you can't get groceries without involving a contingency plan in case of nuclear first-strike from Canada. This, understandably, fucks up your life. I've seen this both first-hand in my own brain, and in being raised by a woman who suffered from such a massive unacknowledged anxiety disorder that she blocked off the front windows of the house for fear that someone walking down the street outside might see that she had the living room lights on.

Your risk of contracting SARS-CoV-2, now that it exists, is not zero. It will never be zero. A vaccine will not bring it down to zero. Technically, your risk of contracting smallpox is also not zero, because there are still a few vials of it lying around somewhere. Your risk of unintentionally spreading it -- which is what the cloth masks are meant to do; if it's not an N95 mask it does nothing to keep you from catching it -- is therefore also not zero. But there comes a point where it is low enough, and you have to just accept that it exists as part of the background chance that you might get run over by a car or fall in the shower or discover an anaphylactic allergy the hard way or keel over from an undetected aneurysm or any of the other ways you can die without warning.

The BLM protesters are doing it right, I think. That's an important thing that has to get done, so they're doing it. They're spending hours in a large crowd of people, so they try to keep a 6' distance and wear a mask, because that's not always feasible. You can't let your fear immobilize you, and there is a finite level to which you can let that fear prompt you to make yourself uncomfortable. Risk tolerance differs from person to person. My housemates are welcome to freak out over the idea of taking the trash out without a mask; I'm not, and I'm not putting one on to spend two minutes out in the side yard at midnight.

And anyone who froths over "kids these days" referring to it as "the 'rona" can cool their jets. This is basically a pandemic tradition. You get a shot every year so you don't catch "the 'flu" -- which, yes, was how it was typographically styled in 1917-19 -- so shut the fuck up.

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[tombeane-blog]

We're Gonna Need A Crapload More Placebos

(November, 2022)

"I wanna scream,

I wanna scream,

I wanna scream,

I wanna scream"

Huey 'Piano' Smith - "Rockin' Pneumonia And The Boogie Woogie Flu"

We used to just call it a cold if we coughed, sneezed and had a runny nose.  Maybe if our body ached a bit we would suspect we had the flu. 

Most of the time we didn't even bother trying to figure out exactly what it was. 

We all knew that colds and the flu could be caught over and over and could not be cured - we could only manage the symptoms as our bodies worked through it.

We didn't take a test.  We just guessed. 

After all, Robitussin relieves symptoms of both cold and flu at the same time, so who cared which it was.  And if you could get something that also had antihistamines, decongestants, expectorants, antitussives, analgesics and some scientific stuff to help you sleep at night - well - you just bought yourself a hospital in a bottle for $7.99.

Next time you are at your local grocer's check out the cold and flu aisles.  Shelf after shelf of over the counter medications dedicated to the idea that free and independent Americans could monitor their own health and self medicate with whatever the hell they thought might work.  (My favorite - Vick's VapoRub and a shot of 'Bourbon and Honey'.)

Almost no one ever went to the doctor, much less the hospital. 

But let's be honest, sometimes, but rarely, it was a very serious and dangerous thing.  Moms would call the doctor.  Old people would keep an eye on their symptoms pretty carefully and would get their shots every fall just in case.

People would not panic - but they would be more vigilant during the winter months. Why we even called it the 'Cold and Flu Season'.

People with kids knew that a few weeks after school started they were likely to catch a cold or the flu from their own precious little rug rats that they in turn had picked up in the classroom from other, filthier little buggers.

Admit it, if it wasn't too bad, most of us would either go to work as normal and make sure to buddy up to someone we despised or just go, "I'm taking a couple of days off". 

And if we were lucky enough our spouses would treat us like little babies and bring us stuff while we lay on the couch taking naps and watching TV while occasionally softly but just loudly enough, moaning for extra sympathy. (Admit it, sometimes you milked it a little and took an extra day off even after you felt fine.)

What used to be a normal but annoying fact of life has become another deadly epidemic sweeping the nation simply by changing what we call it .  

First Covid, now Respiratory Syncytial Virus!  (RSV) 

OK.  I predict half of the country will yawn and go about their lives and the other half will demand a two week national shutdown "to slow the spread" while screaming, "and for God's sake, mask up those kids!"

"Children’s health leaders call for emergency response as respiratory viruses continue to spread across the US"

"Pediatric health groups call for national emergency to fight respiratory illnesses....Pediatric health provider groups are calling on the Biden administration to declare a national emergency"

We all know the saying, "Never let a crisis go to waste".  Going forward we need to rephrase it.  "Manufacture a crisis and take advantage of it".

Did anyone doubt this was going to happen after what they did during Covid?  

Our intellectual and moral betters and overlords discovered they could assume more power during a crisis. So now we can look forward to crisis after crisis that only the government can solve with - we-don't-want-to-but-we-have-to-for-your-own-good - ever increasing control over your life - with national health as the emergency. 

Climate will be a health emergency, racism will be defined in health terms, capitalism and it's inequities will be a danger to the health of the disadvantaged and minorities.  

How long until we hear Karen yell to some poor fool in Costco, "Your Precious Constitutional Right to not take your Government Approved Pfizer Robitussin Booster Shot and wear a badge to prove it will kill my Meema, you filthy capitalist, transphobic, misgendering $#@h*o&^le!"

But consider:

"About two-thirds of the kids who have been admitted with RSV are actually healthy, normal kids."  

And that, students is what is overloading the hospitals.  Residual Covid Panic (RCP) every time someone sneezes.

"Respiratory syncytial virus (RSV) is a common respiratory virus that can infect people of all ages. It is so common that most children have been infected with the virus by age 2. Most people, including infants, usually develop only mild symptoms similar to that of a cold with congestion, runny nose and cough.".

www.lung.org/lung-health-diseases/lung-disease-lookup/rsv

[topconfessions]

What are your thoughts on the vaccine and the people who don't want to get vaccinated?

I got the vaccine despite heavily avoiding it and not wanting it. I got it cause I wouldn't get hired by my new job unless I got vaccinated. I felt tricked into it cause nowhere did the company job listing in careers or the email communication state vaccination was required or first week was required. My manager who is also a good friend of mine from previous job got me in but didn't forewarn me or let me know, assuming I was already vaccinated ir would just get it anyway. I found out during the interview I needed it. I decided to get it cause I really wanted the job plus it was the smoothest interview and nicest one I've ever been on plus I needed the money. Also I knew that in the city downtown these mandates were going to spread allover.

So I got the first dose of Pfizer since Iw as required to at least have 1 dose or the J&J by a certain date. My job didn't bother to require 2nd dose or check after people to ask if They got 2nd dose. Only needed the first.

I was going to stick to the first dose and not do the 2nd but my 2nd job that was a side gig began implementing mandates all late saying you would be terminated if you didn't get the vaccine. So I went ahead and got the 2nd (although I was getting sick of that 2nd job anyway).

I got the vaxx and a spot on my arm was sore. I felt okay in general though no crazy immune response like others. I only felt brain fogginess and now I'm getting back to normal but for the first few months I lost the ability to stay up late. My body couldn't handle staying up past 10PM and staying up to 1am was killer so I always fell asleep very early and was always feeling tired like I just needed to be in bed and lay down. I was just yearning to lay down alot. I also think it affected my menstrual cycle cause I came on my period 2 times in October and missed my period in September.

I don't believe anyone should be forced because the primary purpose of the vaccine is specifically to prevent you from dying right away or ending up in ICU and showing symptoms. Minus warding off immediate symptoms of sickness it isn't in my opinion truly protecting anyone at face value but I feel like on the flip side at this point the vaccine is okay for now.

This is a new experimental drug we won't no the long term side effects of until 2-5 years into the future. The flu shot is tested and has been around since me & you been born. We know it thoroughly. It has underwent clinical trials and been sorted out. The vaccine for COVID is still brand new. Not everyone can survive it One girl I saw was left paralyzed, lost her speech and her body trembled constantly the upper half on top of her being bed ridden. She's a vegetable and its practically a game of Russian roulette you don't voluntarily agree to play. The media pushed severely for the vaccine and brainwashed us all to take it in the form of manipulative marketing in a pill of "do it for others do it for your family etc" like stfu, tell us how to improve our health. Tell us what vitamins to load up on, the immediate and long term lifestyle changes and how to improve of health within a year to beat it.

I'm not getting the booster shot for now. No workplace that I know of is requiring boosters thank god. If I get it I want to get my health together first and lose this extra COVID weight I've put on and lower my blood pressure that is always unusually high and just improve my health so I will be at better odds for no side effects or immediate sickness. I feel these boosters (Conspiracy) are a plant to take out the people who managed to adapt well as further population control on top of the regular vaccine being shitty with its longevity.

Also isnt it strange they care about Black people health for a hot minute forcing them to get it and making it so paramount they have to hurry but they don't put this care into black health any other time? Also why wage a whole out social war and invade Americans rights to privacy and secure confidentiality with their health records & status by forcing people to get a vaccine that's suppose to be the end all be all for COVID as if it saves you forever but yet tell us it's only good for 4-6 months? Basically a season or 2?

Now this isn't going to do shit for introverted, quiet, shy, abused and scared or isolated individuals who never leave home often and have been reclusive their whole lives. They will waste the strengths of the virus and by the time they feel confident to go out into the world or work the strength wains.

This whole ordeal is a mega eye opener

You all may hate me for saying this but public / customer service, servicing, health and medical as well as teaching and jobs where you are primarily at the position of your job being dependant on others / random people IS NOT sustainable or financial secure. These people were the ones at risk the most and yeah yeah yeah most are essential...somebody has to do it...

But this will change the way childern are raised and brought up at least in Western society now. No longer is an extreme emphasis on being a doctor, lawyer or teacher the primary occupations we indoctrine childern to aspire to.

I think that's wild.

Anyways the fact we have my body my choice for everything but a vaccine is disturbing. Americans being pressured and forced to take it is extremely foul and against the literal motto of our nations reputation.

I secretly feel if this pandemic happened in 2018 or 2019 or below many people would have been better off finanically and better equipped to handle this even if it unfolded the exact same way. Also if it happened 2019 & below, a lot of us who were on the fence or forced to get it for work would still stand tall and not do it.

It's just a conspiracy theory I have cause I feel a lot of us secretly was putting our all into 2020 being our year and our finances were not secure stability wise for something like that. Many of us were going to take risks in 2020 or finanically put money into travel or miscellaneous things.

Anyways to me I don't and will never care if someone is vaxxed or not just be safe and not anti mask around me.

I also feel the 2012 illuminati YouTube conspiracy heads were right. Remember the illuminati and MK ULTRA trend? I believe they all didn't have the social and communication skills to convey and explain their theories properly but I believe the whole new world / one world order is what we are living and seeing is the unfolding of us being pushed into a one world homogenous type society where if you don't agree with the majority or do what the majority is doing especially if you don't take what they tell you, you will be ostracized and punished living a difficult low quality life until you relent and give in. Individualism is dead and we're all being groomed like robots.

[suzey8888]

The TIME is NOW if in the US.

Sue Luckham, [16.09.21 09:19]

@KayleighMcEnany xxx THIS IS TO ALL CITIZENS ON PLANET EARTH. I write this with my heart, I have been writing the same thing over and over again over 5 years of intense research. What I tell you is 100% truth of how I read it, or may God strike me dead, it is the whole scenario of what and why this Armageddon on America is happening and what you need to do very quickly if you haven't already! . Keep your Christianity feelings quiet, or they will make an example of you. The S is literally hitting the fan, they hate as we love. The truth of why this is all happening, use David Icke as your guide, he know where it started and where it will finish and his info will help you understand why a handful of Billionaires want the planet for themselves, so 6.5 billion White Christians have to die. Their Covid is the flu with bells on, made by Fauci and Gates to get a vaccine that will do the job of mass murder. $2Billion outlay for $200Billion return.

If tax is not stopped, your money will and is, being used to kill you. I've said it point blank to our PM Boris Johnson, but he's a Satanic Abuser and not bothered by killing us all. I've tried to tell nurses and doctors, with proof, but they are scared too, as they are being lied to. This will all come out, but the only way any of us will survive this is not to take that vaccine, it has a 9 year shelf life. 2030 is the year you will die IF you don't get an anti vax shot, and no-one knows where that is, but there is one I'm told. Agenda 21 and 30, or Nuremberg Trials Rothschild, Crimes Against Humanity. 10 Billionaires and 1 Trillionaire 700 times over, but a handful of men against 7.5 Billion people, but will we stand up? If we don't bear in mind, their influence is mind blowing.

The main man owns almost all banks across the world, almost all media, a hurricane weather station in the sea, almost every Government, and his little team of thugs who say "you will own nothing and be happy"...are guilty of the greatest heist, and mass murder (depopulation to them) known to man. He (the rich one) is stealing everything you own by stealth, and it will go across the world, after they have destroyed America, but most will fall because the USD has, so a message to all, I am not a nut, I have Cancer and I will die of it, not of a vaccine made up to look like your saviour, when it is the opposite, and your head of country KNOWS this, they all do.

Sorry but this is a JEWISH takeover, they think they are the 1% Elite, but they are anything but. Dark people, Satanic and in a world where the Jews can be themselves, and they don't want you Christians, so you have to be "got rid of" and this has been planned for over 50 years. 1 man is causing this, 1 man is ready to see us all die a horrible death because he is irrational, senile and a Satanist who is head of all Freemasons, the Pope and the Satanic Cult known by Hollywood as "home", think EYES WIDE SHUT without the fanfare!. However, this is all just my opinion, do the research and find what I did, a world of exceptional corruption, governing our lives.

The stars are able to have fame only if they become Satanists, and they do all belong, I've checked it. Lady Gaga got out, said her soul was given away...the world is run by evil, and Trump brought this all to the fore. TG. Sorry I forgot,(the rich one) "owns" Hollywood too, and is directly involved with Disney, so there are the children straight away, then human trafficking, which every Government owned by this man is also involved with, and you give £40 million looking for 1 child. Maddie McCann...her parents are Freemasons allegedly, & I believe, you know it was all a set up to fool the people, and they paid off their mortgage with the donations, pppft! Poor little girl ;-(

**********************************************************************

Go to RoseRed Homestead and learn how to prepare for a long winter, food has to be your 1st priority, then when the sheep have their eyes open, seek a reverse vaccine. The sheeple are our biggest threat, they feel so sanctimonious, little do they know sadly, and they will be the ones coming for your food, if you have prepped. Instant Pot, Kilenr Jars, food for a year

Sue Luckham, [16.09.21 09:19]

I've done the research, 5 years of it and what I am telling you is the gospel truth, it is horrific, so bad people don't believe it, but believe it they will soon. Vax has 30 at least people dying daily immediately after the vax, same in UK and other countries I'm sure, and it looks like China is taking over the world, so God needs to do his best on that one. All is not as bad as it seems, but we do have to fight to the death for survival, so get your big boots on and get ready! God Bless and please share. I have written so much over 2 years I now have arthritis, but I carry on because this is Armageddon on steroids and you all need to know exactly why this war has been waged on YOU and yours.

I'm here if anyone wants to say anything, you can ask and I'll answer, but we need to get a wiggle on guys, as the sheep will go first, they haven't prepared, but you have, and this is the fight for your lives and your families future. Love and hugs, sorry to send bad news, but at least you know and can do something about it. xxxxxxxxxxxx

[2centsofsilver]

9/17/2020. Therapy Prep Notes

In the last week I’ve been more anxious than usual with more thoughts consuming my mind and more mental conundrums. Fall time always brings “start of school” adrenaline rushes, anxiety, butterflies, and excitement. I wish I were able to walk around a campus with friends and participate in welcome activities. The September campus bustle has always brought me great glee. I just drove through UM and every single person was (surprisingly) wearing a mask. I felt I should be too given the case spike on campus so I donned one while driving. Festivities were not the same. Socially distanced tents where solemn students sat alone, single students walking down the sidewalks, drastically less bustle than normally. Regular downtown like Division and Main St were more crowded with roads blocked off for distances outdoor dining.

This is weird but I woke up really missing work today. There was a flu shot clinic email from the J and even though I have my own ways of getting mine, I responded to my boss, who I hate, to ask if it’s an option for me, in which he replied yes. It’s not like I’d be able to see anyone, but I just suddenly miss JCC.

Nannying lately has been different because the mom recently told me she’d be sending the youngest to Bunnies in just one month, hence leaving me jobless for the first time since June. I knew this day would come, but it blindsighted me because she’s been so inconsistent about when and so satisfied with our interactions and learning all summer. The last big consensus seemed to be January and using me all winter, but I went out of town to visit my family for 6 days leaving the boy with his mom 2 extra hours a day for 5 days and apparently this was too much to bear. Upon my return she was frazzled and anxious about his lack of socialization. “He doesn’t even know other children his size exist besides his brother!”

So I’ve been taking him outside this week to get out of the house and excessive electronics and plastic toys. It’s beautiful weather and finally no more heat/POTS symptoms from that. I had to send a big huge thing to her about the benefits of outdoor play. For many reasons she hadn’t let me take him out until now. He has just turned 18 months. We have been having lovely times. His favorite expressions outside are “Wee!” (swinging), “Wow!” (tractor, airplane, cars), and “Woah!” (sticking rocks through holes in the fence, big sticks, etc.) He says “woof woof” at puppies and squirrels, “ah-pay” for airplane, and today “Brrrrrrr!!!” on repeat while we ate lunch at a shaded picnic table. I bundled him up in 2 jackets even though it was warm in the sun (took them off), but watched him experience those temperature changes with more awareness than his first season change in infancy. He watched the leaves blow in the wind, his snowy white little hands turned whiter and his veins bluer, and he giggled in confusion as his mouth shivered like mad. I hugged him and bundled him and we experienced it together, then played in the sun. These moments feel so sentimental to me like how I imagine heaven. Pure, lovingly innocent. Why do they make me sad?

School starts 9/28 and I’m taking “Toddlers: Big Emotions” and a foundations course. I’m nervous about my ADHD. I am so unable to achieve basic tasks and I have zero spark whatsoever to start something. I can’t even respond to emails from people I REALLY care about like my favorite professors, Jean and Michelle. I’ve had months to finish a project, but it was self-initiated from the start, a terrible setup. I need to figure out what I need from my profs in advance and communicate that to them.

I think the worst thing about this pandemic is being completely emotionless and sparkless abs trying to figure out why and how to fix it. Am I angry? Numb? Overly-medicated? Frozen? Apathetic? Traumatized? Flat? There’s no way I don’t care about the state of the world. I DO. But it’s not that shocking to me I guess. My whole life I’ve predicted (and feared) an apocalypse. I never knew when it would happen but when Trump entered the White House and Covid came about, I did feel fear & anxiety yes, but it was so abstract it barely felt like anything. Like how can I imagine those California wildfires if I have never seen one before? How can I imagine my dream city PDX covered in soot? How can I imagine no longer visiting Reggio Emilia and giving up my goals and plans that have already taken years to develop? My dreams never felt like reality, always fantasy, or like opportunities in another life. They were already so far away to begin with. How can I imagine the hundreds of thousands of people who are DEAD from Covid if I have no conception of how many people that is or what that anyone of people looks like, already not understanding or understanding how death is even real. Things I feared in my earliest 20s have somehow subdued. And I grew up in Trumpville, I know how bottom of the barrel this country is. So I’m not “shook” learning these supporters have come out of the shadows. I’m not raging angry like yelling and screaming. I’m not quivering in anxiety or doom or terror. I’m not sobbing or shedding 1 tear for that matter. I wish I could, I don’t know why I’m not. But I just sort of expected all this horror would happen one day and now it’s here and I don’t feel anything besides apathy, sarcasm, and the same misery I’ve always felt. The only thing that really seems to emotionally agonize me is climate change and our environmental crisis, but that’s a huge passion of mine. Knowing the west coast fires are circulating smoke around the world including over Michigan, east coast, and Europe deeply affects me, but still no emotion exists. I read books on climate change early as a child, so much of the global damage is out of our control at this point so why would I feel a spark to take action or an urgency to cry? Is death upon me closer than I think? Will it be painful when I slip away? The more I think about this the more I worry so I have to stop.

My fatness has made its presence known in my psyche 24/7. It’s so fucking hard getting up and down. I fear I may be in the 400s. It’s not the number that bothers me, it’s just that it makes sense how this could happen given my sedentary POTS and eating a pint of ice cream every night etc etc. I don’t care, but I also really do care. All I want is to feel good physically and move more gracefully because my body is in agonizing pain all the time. I took a walk Monday night .7 miles and it was so hard carrying my new gullet around that I thought I wouldn’t make it. I could physically feel it’s buency each step I took forward on each thigh and my stomach and my back locked into a permanent arch. I’ve had shin splints all week. I wish I hadn’t let things get this bad. I feel trapped between those 3 voices of protection — authentic Self, scared younger self, and quick to excuse myself from anything that might help because it’s “too hard.”

My OCD is record bad especially the sexual kind. I want to take care of this but how do I tell Amy? And which fire matters most?

Most pressing are emotionlessness, 3 energies, and the sexual OCD.