#at least one but preferably a lot
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I genuinely cant help it every time i think too hard about my stuffed animals or stuffed animals in general i stsrt crying
#theyre literally always going to be there for me#they dont care what ive done or whats happened#they are there for me to hug and cry into and sniffle on#i think everyone should have them#at least one but preferably a lot#to your stuffed animals no feeling is too big and no problem is too small#im. having a night.
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oh boy !! ! ! ! !!! ! thANK y0u all for the kind words on my last art posts. you all get it and i was/still am so happy about it
as promised, here's some close-ups of the comic for image quality's sake, and other screenshots i rescued from the community whiteboard (and something else)
first up another sketch of mystery gender-ambiguous being. (please send me more name ideas for them if you got one- i like to hear em! (reminder it's the side character that appeared for <10 seconds in AvM Ep. 30))
a few fav scenes
emotional support cwab
they weren't meant for this purpose exactly, but i do have countless "fluffy sticks" loose in my notes and homework sheets from the school years.
papery critter.
even when i wasn't confident in fur or feathers, they helped me practice posing and create some satisfying gradients/flowing poses. (im a sucker for good tail poses) (oh yay! i found a good pic...)
and finally, little sneak peak for you for reading so far ;3
i realized that whiteboardfox is pretty great for my working needs. simple and to the point and all. feels nice with the mouse and the tablet.
so i started hashing out a big project idea just to see if it holds up and
[
several hours later ...
]
oh
oh man
it's a little bigger than i expected
<next>
#--/ art#alan becker#animator vs animation#animation vs minecraft#Minecraft bed#ava the dark lord#ava the chosen one#me when the project that obviously wasn't going to be done in one night isn't done in one night: D: !?!?!?!?#kudos to whoever routed the Speedrun actual short because that one is so fun and clean and savvy#clever made up time-savers? includes orange's TNT shield-jump?? nonlethal dragon dispatch??? sweet#ithink you can see where i tried to head with this#turns out that turning up the complexity 98 notches higher makes things trickier to parse hmmmmmm?#in fact i might need some help with this one ;>v>' like a lot.#i had a bit of a story and route set up already i just... wanted to make sure everything was at least kinda there...................#we'll see#the pie joke. i was trying to categorize which foodstuffs chosen should be able to make on the fly. with their flame hands.#ex. cooking meats makes sense because flint and steel works for the same purpose (you can kill a burning animal to get cooked meats)#but baking bread or drying kelp seems way more involved or whatever -> needs a proper furnace environment#HOWEVER... i noticed that Steve can just summon pumpkin pies from his bare hands if he wants to without even a workbench. so. sure! lol.#this is scraping the surface of the minutiae i want to consider#(ALSO KUDOS to everyone who RUNS/works on all-advancements. of course. riding on your shoulders here)#final joke is that chosen didn't know how crazy this undertaking would be to learn#but dark is very literally programmable. so you could maybe just plug some TAS instructions into him and off he goes#or even more open-ended than that just give him the list of advancements + stipulations + the wiki and similar result#it'd get done but. i dont think he'd find that fun at all. prefers to write his own instructions if you see what i mean#i might be forgetting some context. it is rather late you see. please ask me questions about this! ;P#tco aa
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⬆️ The MAIN REASON why I watched the show ⬆️
And I personally feel like something similar happened here to what happened with TFA and TFP Ratchet? Ya know the quote "This version walked so this other version could run"? Because I respect and enjoy TFA Swindle a lot but this one forged enough charm and even surpassed it in his own way? Idk Idk pretty pretty con man bot and super entertaining to watch! Luv him to bits 💜
#myart#maccadam#transformers earthspark#earthspark swindle#transformers swindle#es swindle#ifellinrobothellagain#older sketch i used to keep practicing this fast watercolor style!#i loved the result AAA gotta try it more later x)#even if ES (at least S1) did things good here and there#and i supported the integration of new characters and a more soft edutainment approach of the brand#i admit i kept tabs on it thanks to this rascal more than anything lol#i love LOVE what they did with this new interpretation#a streetwise and active con man swindle fits his personality a lot#and now tfa feels more like a veteran that prefers to plot on the sidelines but hey the more flavors for a character#the better#im personally taking this one please and thank you#OH and i tried something different with the eyes just for fun
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there is not enough femslash in batcest circles. the girls deserve to be just as weird about each other as the boys are. if BruDick gets to be weird father/son/brothers/lovers/friends/rivals/soulmates then it is only fair that Babs/Cass get to be mother/daughter/sisters/lovers too. Something about that deep intrinsic but undefinable love that is born out of trauma, especially if you consider Cass not knowing what healthy love looks like in the first place. i think it's fun and deserves just as much fandom content.
besides that, you can get even more niche with rarepairs like Helena/Steph. Huntress/Spoiler: Blunt Trauma is already a fantastic comic and even though it's their only real canon interaction it has so much potential. very comparable to TimJay in how Helena tries to get Steph to understand her morals and the corruption you could play with it.
batman: huntress/spoiler: blunt trauma (1998)
that comic also highlights on how both Steph and Helena are outcasts of the Batfamily and don't have the approval of Bruce to be doing what they do in "his city". I think there's so much Potential in Helena taking Steph under her wing because Bruce won't let her in and it becomes a weird codependent toxic sapphic mess. I think the protectiveness Helena feels over Steph from the get-go is so clear and the way she wants to look out for Steph, wants to make sure Steph understands the real world? I love them. Helena should be allowed to steal Steph, actually. I think it'd be fun.
there are a lot of other possibilities too like Babs/Steph or even getting weird with Helena Bertinelli/Helena Wayne and the existential question of "is it selfcest or not." But these two specifically live in my head rent-free, especially Helena/Steph and one day I'll convince everyone else to ship it too.
#batcest#necrotic festerings#how do i tag ships that are almost non-existent#helena bertinelli x stephanie brown#cassandra cain x barbara gordon#as resident huntress fan my answer to the is helena w/helena b selfcest depends entirely on which version of helena wayne you're using.#pre-crisis!helena wayne/pre-flashpoint!helena bertinelli? yes i agrue is selfcest adjacent at least#because helena bertinelli was meant to be an adaptation of helena wayne#if it's jsa (2022)!helena wayne then it's *not* selfcest because they co-exist in the same universe#and according to current lore helena wayne was named after bertinelli and took the name huntress in her honor#which is a *choice* for sure but that's a different post#i still think shipping them is super fun in a “don't meet your heroes” sort of way with helena wayne time travelling#and then potentially running into bertinelli and realizing she's not what wayne thought she was and it being weird toxic shit#as for new-52 helena wayne. i do not acknowledge her and will not comment.#*god* I hate new-52 huntress.#(imo it would be selfcest tho bc they tried to make helena wayne a bertinelli clone. so. there's that.)#i'm going to write a helena/steph fic some day and none of you bitches can stop me#yeah yeah we have stephcass but y'all have sanitized the fuck out of that to convince yourselves it's not batcest and that made it boring.#and helena/babs is neat and all but i prefer helena/zinda when it comes to BoP ships#i should've included panels for cass/babs but it's been a while since i read batgirl (2000) so none immediately came to mind#i have a *lot* more helena/steph thoughts but no braincell to word them. know i will talk about them again.#they got one whole comic and now i won't let them go#also cass/helena is fun for combating morals and the complicated batgirl mantle#cass wears the batgirl suit *helena* made y'all think i can't make that romantic bc i can and will#if we have robin pile then give me batgirl pile#babs/helena/steph/cass hell throw in bette too.
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calling harry a “can opener” was SUCH a good play for so many reasons i think about it every day.
in the context of his work, it makes him a tool. as many people have pointed out, including martin luiga, part of the hdb tragedy is that he simply cannot leave the force, and his superiors know that and are using it to their advantage. no matter what happens, even if harry hated every nanosecond of every bit of the work and wanted to leave, he can’t and won’t leave. they can leverage anything they want against him and then reel him back in with a facade of kindness when they “allow” him to keep his job, as long as he does what they want him to. the 41st knows he has this inexplicable talent with people and they use him for it. he’s a cop: that talent can be used in so many awful ways, to push so many different agendas. and they won’t even be his own. a can opener has no particular desire to open a can, aside from maybe the satisfaction of fulfilling a purpose. a can opener has no agency, it’s just a tool for someone else to use to get what they want. and he’s learned to be okay with being used as long as it means he gets to stay. his complacency with this system makes him guilty even if he’s also being harmed by it.
but in the context of his personal life you kind of... flip it. the people around him are going to be opened up whether they want to be or not, and it’s terrible for his relationships. it’s shown that the questions, the prying- the can-opening- it’s become inextricable from who he is as a person. it’s like he doesn’t know how else to communicate, except it’s hardly communication when you’re just ripping people open. he’s invasive as all hell, although whether he means to be is debatable. he’s the kind of person that wants to take things apart to see what makes them tick. he dissects people, but really that’s too delicate of a word for what he does; if he doesn’t get what he wants right up front, he’ll abandon all subtlety and go for brute force. if he can’t get your screws loose he’ll just smash you on the ground and pick through your pieces until he’s satisfied, and if what he did to you isn’t fixable? oh well, there are other cans to open.
and he’ll use it for personal gain: we already know he is (was?) manipulative. once he knows how you operate, he knows how to make you keep him. he can yell or he can cry; he can threaten you or he can threaten himself; he can be completely suffocating or he can withdraw completely; he can be an incorrigible liar or brutally honest; he can present himself as a threat or a joke or a talent. he’s a chimera- that’s why he’s got this inexplicable magnetism, even when people know they shouldn’t like or trust him. fidelity of character means nothing to him. he’ll be whatever he needs to be as long as it gets him what he wants. the can-opening is just his way in.
#disco elysium#harry du bois#and it works on us the audience as well!#look at how many different versions of harry there are out there. each tailored to our individual preferences#we exaggerate and minimize his traits according to what we want to see. he's can-opening us too!#it's just like. of course his job will frame the can opening as a positive thing#but it's honestly one of his worst traits. or at least it is when he doesn't keep it in check#there's nothing wrong with wanting to understand people but the way he goes about it is harmful to everyone including himself#he's doing it because he has ulterior motives like 99.999998% of the time#this is mostly about pre-martinaise harry but i have no doubts that post-martinaise harry can go right back to this btw#a lot of us prefer to think of harry as drastically improving after martinaise which is great and i'd like to hope he does but.#it's also good to consider the overwhelming possibility that he will go right back to being a total shithead#and that may be completely unintentionally! which almost makes it worse!#ALSO. this is part of why kim makes a very good foil#for the most part kim will stonewall anything he doesn't feel like sharing#harry needs to respect boundaries and by god does kim have a lot of those (affectionate)#HOWEVER kim is definitely susceptible to the can opening as well#wait okay i have another post idea.#anyway thanks for reading. as always feel free to add and share thoughts!#kiwipost#hdb meta
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2024 reads / storygraph
Asunder
slow-paced high fantasy
a woman who has a contract with an eldritch entity allowing her to see the dead & survives by taking various jobs
when a job searching for stranded smugglers in a cave goes wrong, she ends up with the soul of a dying stranger bound to her shadow
along with a scholar and her old childhood friend, they travel to his home country to find a way to unbind him and save them both
dark fantasy world with gods, demonic entities, arcane magic, and semi-sentient beasts used as transport
#asunder#kerstin hall#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#okay SUPER fascinating worldbuilding with some very visceral creatures and biological constructs and interesting magic systems.#many things I like. A great cast of characters. Honestly I could read tons more stories set in this world.#it’s very slow building and meandering narratively; focusing on the complex journey of the main character#didn’t love the audio narration tbh - it felt like some lines are read with the wrong emphasis or tone? but I got used to it after a while#So this has one of my absolute favourite tropes (bodysharing.) unfortunately it turns it into a romance which is. well.#it just doesn’t hit the same if you make it romantic!! so that kinda made it change traintracks from being on a direct line to#potentially 5 stars to a whole different station where i do not live. lol.#I SUPPOSE it’s a well developed relationship and I’d prefer romances more like that than instalove I guess.#I did love their dynamic; too; but suddenly realising it was romantic threw me for a loop. I had put him in the annoying dad category.#I do also feel like we didn’t get quite enough of him as an individual person and characterisation - which obviously makes sense to an#extent; but I felt like I only got to see more of him in the brief time around his father.#Also he was surprisingly chill and nice to her immediately considering he was essentially her hostage???#Anyway I did enjoy a lot of it; it just suffers the unfortunate tragedy of#[literally my favourite thing made for me] [turns that thing into literally my least favourite thing i hate]#but also -random dude you’re bound to being overly protective and considerate despite barely knowing you (platonic/familial vibe) - yeah!#random dude you’re bound to being overly protective and considerate despite barely knowing you (romantic) ehhhh…idk.....#(to me personally. i'm sure people enjoy that. whatever)
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Behold. A tangible representation of 8+ hours of my life: crochet pumpkins made for my sister
#crochet#pumpkins#fall#i am so tired dude#the big one alone took more than 5 hours#it uses a very labor intensive stitch#and obviously it's quite large#also I got like 1/3 thru it at first and had to undo it bc i made a big mistake#but i didn't factor that into my time calculation#just the one I'm giving her is like 5-6 hours of work easily#while I love doing things for people I love this was a good reminder why i don't work freelance#and why I don't set up an Etsy shop like people keep saying i could#this was a lot of crocheting in not much time and I'm really happy to be done with it#i wanted to do other things during this time but didn't feel like I could. and i got really tired of it#which is a bummer bc i crochet for enjoyment not extra cash or anything#so I'd prefer to enjoy it#I'll have to do a different hobby for a couple months haha#anyway admire my pumpkins!#soon they will be on their way to a good home#and if you're about to ask if you can buy some#the answer is no. sorry#😅 I'm not doing this again until next year at least#id in alt text
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It happens in Paper Street. Tyler is still gone. The building is oozing with monkeys, but on the upper floors where Tyler and I sleep, I am alone.
I am not alone.
There is two of me. I don't have a twin.
If there's two of me, then there might be two of Tyler.
Tyler would probably think killing myself to monopolize him and his clone is a step closer to bottom.
If there's not two Tylers, I have to kill him anyway.
All of this becomes clear to me in the time it takes for my clone to stare at me and shake his head and get his shit together.
I play it cool. I am so ZEN, he will not realize when I reach over to crush his windpipe.
I say, hey. This is weird.
"Yeah," he says, and my voice is way too loud coming from him. I don't like it. He needs to shut the fuck up. "Is Tyler here?"
I ask him, do you think Tyler would know why the universe broke? I ask him like he's asked me if Tyler would like to take a nice little shopping trip through the local designer stores and pay off the companies' tax breaks by giving hundreds to their check out charity.
I think Tyler would know why the universe broke, of course. He'd be the one to break it. Maybe this is another one of Tyler's little tests. This new version of me seems less certain of that fact, more like he's looking for his daddy's coattails, and now I really can't wait to punch his teeth out of his skull. He doesn't have the hole in his cheek, and I can see him watching it wink when I talk. He looks like a jealous rat.
We must both be Joe's Clenching Bowels.
I ask him, do you think we're different? Maybe there's a butterfly effect. Parallel universes. There has to be a reason he's so pathetic.
"I'm sure we are," he says, like he's telling his boss about sawing cross tips into bullets. Touching.
How'd you meet Tyler?
"On the plane. He gave me his number. Called him after my condo blew up."
I smile. I met him on a nude beach. He gave me his number. I called him after my condo blew up. Every word after nude turns my copy's face a bit ruddy, little tectonic nudges to the ring of fire.
"What were you doing on a nude beach?" he spits. "Gargling your boss's balls?"
Watching Tyler. Naked and sweaty, muscles flexing as he pulled around driftwood and pilings to sit in his own hand of perfection. I know I sound like a priest that wants to keep God for himself. I am.
"You're a fag," he says.
I think of my birthmark on my foot. I think of Tyler. I think of Marla. I think of how stupid this version of me is, to pretend he wouldn't get on his knees just for the chance of a taste of Tyler. Is that not how he got the kiss I can see on his hand? His Tyler must have had to lower his standards.
Best not to accuse others of things you're guilty of, I say. I'm willing to face any number of uncomfortable truths if it will get rid of him, I realize.
He's flustered. "No, no, it's not —" he waves his hands. "It's not like that with me and him. No."
Yes it is. It's not love as in caring, sure.
I step closer.
It's property as in ownership.
This must be why Tyler likes it. I see myself wither like a guy kicked in the balls on the first night he attends fight club.
I could be over that table every night for Tyler, I say. You would just be jealous. Just like you're jealous of Marla. Of that one pretty kid you probably pummeled into the ground too. Or did you not even have the balls for that?
Eliminate the competition. Face the truth only to drive it deeper into this jammed copy of myself. Win Tyler's affections. I have already seen the bones in my yard, I can tell, he has not.
One of us is committed. I pull my human sacrifices out of my pocket, throw them at him. One of us wants this. I get in his stupid face.
It's not you.
He swings at me, I'm fighting to the death.
"Tyler isn't here, is he?" he taunts me.
"Tyler left you."
"He doesn't want you anymore."
All things true, but maybe not once I kill you.
I am the abandoned dog, performing tricks so its owner will come home. I am myself, calling my father and telling him about graduating college, like it means fuck all to him. I am myself, pushing onto that next step on his list, anyway. Tyler's my new list, and he wants murder. I've known it. I'll face it.
He gets me in a headlock, hits me over and over, opening up that hole in my cheek. I go limp, drag him down, flip him over myself and grab his throat. I slam his head into the ground. It's soft, moldy wood, not concrete, so I have to start squeezing, instead.
Death will commence in five.
Five, four.
He's gasping, slamming his palm into my nose, breaking it over and over.
Four, three.
Three, two.
His body is shaking under mine. Seizing. He has the primordial strength of a man about to die, and I have the primordial strength of a man about to live.
Death will commence in two.
His eyes are rolling back. I can feel his throat giving in.
No more chance for breaths. It crumbles beneath my hands like the ribcage of a hummingbird.
No chances for evacuation.
Death commences.
Now.
On the upper floors of Paper Street, I am alone.
#fight club#my writing#book narrator vs movie narrator.... book narrator is more Committed imo#battle of the sewer rats#i prefer to avoid using slurs in my writing but I think at least one is literally entirely unavoidable with the narrator meeting himself#the book is also a lot darker overall. sorry movie narrator you never stood a chance this rat is larger than you#in case it isnt obvious though 99% of the book narrators thoughts are entirely and totally hypocritical#which is what makes this very funny to me#this is a silly lunch doodle for me basically#so dont take it too seriously
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I’d love to hear your thoughts on what Eldritch peredhel entail
-@@outofangband
Sorry this took so long @outofangband and thank you for asking this I am! Delighted! And am preemptively putting a read more down because I cannot shut up about they <3
alright I'm just gonna put stuff and headcanons down as they occur to me so expect low-moderate levels of coherency
shapeshifting is an obvious one (gets weaker down the generations) but because my brain is Like This I have caveats!
thanks to my whole peredhil things=gender allegory that my brain spit out without my permission I've long struggled against my inherent feeling that while they can shapeshift they don't like it
but because I'm now aware of my brain's reasoning I can say it's because of ✨fantasy dysphoria✨
that's oversimplifying, obviously, but peredhil already have so much issues with working through who and what they are and compromising between body and mind and spirit that actively choosing to change into/present as something/someone who They Are Not is. Not usually their cup of tea.
As a whole they tend to have specific forms that they prefer as being closer to themselves, and distinct enough that it doesn't feel like they're faking something they're not
(changing to look like a different person, or a edited version of themself is Very Very not fun unless either explicitly for disguise or shenanigans)
(the exception to this is that Luthien can make herself look almost perfectly human without any real issue. she doesn't do it often but especially as she ages she likes to catch glimpses of her reflection and get both excited and sappy. this is in contrast to making herself look almost perfectly like an elf which makes her feel like her skin is on fire.)
(Also I'm pretty sure all of them can flip their agab presentation while only feeling varying degrees of off, and even then it's a different feeling than the shapeshifting dysphoria. Dior and Elwing are the two who I think mind it the most)
They all have the (agonizing to write) trait of feeling very distinct relationships to their species in their body vs soul/mind vs spirit/fea and they all feel it very differently! This isn't exclusive to Luthien's line but the maia blood does make it worse.
Oh! This is a new headcanon of mine actually but!
They all have faces that are very very hard to capture in image. They are the bane of portrait artists (and, to a degree, sculptors) everywhere because the art never looks accurate to life
It's not blatantly off it's just. missing something? Or something was added? maybe it's a little too wide, or narrow, or long, or short, in one place or another
It's not unrecognizable but if you've ever seen the subject in real life you can just tell
It's especially bad with Luthien (and Daeron) and Dior (to a lesser extent) because everyone literally sees them differently, as in their features will be slightly different depending on what each person finds attractive/aesthetically appealing and beautiful
(not a lot, again, it's not unrecognizable, but there has never and will never be any accurate depiction of Luthien as she was as a person)
(as a concept, though, as the most beautiful creature to have ever existed in Arda, a little of her image exists in every portrait lovingly made of a beloved spouse, every child's drawing of their family, in biological sketches of songbirds and field mice, in a sculpture of a stranger's face. Daeron remembers his sister perfectly, but he collects these regardless)
(Arwen, Luthien come again, isn't described as such by her grandparents. Galadriel and Celeborn both knew Luthien, and while Arwen and her father both look as closely to her as genetically possible, to those who actually know them both it's nothing more than uncanny family resemblance. Luthien was to most a concept personified, Arwen is a person with concepts imposed on her.)
The list of people who have seen Luthien how she actually, physically, defaultly is, essentially consists of Melian, Daeron, Beren, and Dior
Beren doesn't see her as she is right away because he doesn't know her right away, but they learn about each other and she shows herself and he sees her and by the time she rescues him from Tol-im-Gaurhoth there are no echoes on her face
(He's always a little bit haunted that he nearly died without realizing he'd never quite seen the truth of her before)
Neither Thingol or Beren can quite see their own features on their children's faces. They clearly take after their mothers, after all!
(This leads to much affectionate eye-rolling on Melian and Luthien's part)
Hair stuff!
It's alive! kinda! it's definitely not normal hair!
It moves a lot on its own. Sometimes like a breeze is blowing where there isn't one. Sometimes more like tentacles. It depends on its mood.
They've got some very pretty traditional cosmic horror vibes swirling around on their heads. It's very sparkly and colorful but in a Forbidden Shrimp Colors that your brain is unable to comprehend way so it reads as iridescent black mostly, or holographic white, where applicable
Luthien's hair actually is a glimpse into space, Daeron's is a glance at a star
(Luthien's magic hair cloak survives, I think, into the 4th age and beyond, though if anyone/anything has found it they certainly don't know the origins of the beautifully intricate living star map. It has seen the reign of countless north stars, yet the lines always point to the same coordinates- where the ancient, sunken, ruined remains of what once was Tol-im-Gaurhoth lay)
Speed round!
Fangs and talons and horns oh my! Are they tooth and keratin and bone, or are they petrified wood and gem and stone? Yes!
They all smell a little like ozone and a lot like petrichor, flowers, and Green. If you've smelled green you know what I'm talking about. Also, unfortunately, like bird. Birds don't smell great, especially wet bird.
Weird Foresight Powers++
(Most of them don't have actual foresight, but all of them are more in-tune with the Song than is natural for an incarnate)
Their eyes glow, most notably in the dark, unless the irises turn black as they sometimes do. They are also all unnaturally bright versions of the less-spooky parent's- Dior's are gold, Elwing's are blue-green like a tropical sea (Elured and Elurin split the color between them- ultramarine and emerald), Elrond and Elros have pale star-gold, Elladan, Elrohir, and Arwen all have silver.
(Daeron and Luthien being the exception again, because I decided they have Melian's eyes before I decided this, and I don't know what color eyes Thingol has. Watsonianly: Melian's spooky genes overwrite a lot. Luthien's genotype is probably much closer to his than her magically overwritten phenotype)
Their sclerae turn black and their pupils white, on occasion, usually when using powers
They don't bleed right. It's a little too red for an elf, a little too light for a human, and it shines strange as it beads like quicksilver on the skin
They have very shiny, cool skin. Luthien looked like her's was silver plate under a stretched stocking, the rest toned it down from there but it's still noticeable.
The Song is. Attached to them. They are all very much Main Characters. Their lives have a clear story arc with symbolism and narrative parallels. They are all subconsciously aware that their lives are a fairytale, whether tragic or no, and yes this has many Implications and affects. They are not the only ones like this, but they are the only ones who, to some level, know they are in a story.
This is the fundamental separation between them and everyone else.
The difference in how they perceive themselves between heart soul and spirit is very difficult to explain and understand, but not impossible to someone who knows them and is willing to put in the work.
The life-long knowledge that they are Important to the Song and their every choice and event they experience and their mere existence serves a greater purpose in a way that most other people simply do not- that's very, very isolating.
No one else can understand how they see the world. Very very few people are willing to try, and even fewer in a way that's not frustrating. There is a reason most of them find only one person to latch on to outside of their family, and a reason they hold on through hell and high water.
(This is about being neurodivergent)
#asks#outofangband#eldritch peredhil#gonna go into more detail about preferred shape forms here bc it's important to me but not relevant lol#luthien: nightingale/s (obviously) but also a starling and to a lesser extent various other birds- preference toward passerine and raptors#wolf and deer are both fine- wolf especially for snuggles- she can go bat and enjoy it but only after thuringwethil#(which is a whole thing for her to unpack)#dior: cat (male calico specifically) wolf and bat#and then a kingfisher starling nightingale red-crowned crane and a bird of prey (currently thinking maybe a swallow-tailed kite?)#e^2 1.0 don't actually have the same feeling towards shapeshifting bc of the whole consumed by doriath to become Entities thing#so they're closer to maiar vibes-wise than even luthien entirely was#elwing: starling beach mouse and then pretty much most seabirds#but on the whole Song's Specialist Little Guys thing#obviously its up to individual philosophy on if free will can exist in the face of Destiny#my opinion is yes but i think all of them have a different take#luthien thinks no but is happy/fine with this and thinks its very romantic. daeron also thinks no but is resigned and ultimately content.#neither of them understand the average person being deeply uncomfortable at the idea of the lack of free will#their mom is a maia this is just normal to them#dior thinks yes at first but flips around a lot through his life#its a pretty hard no post-death but when he gets reembodied he becomes deeply aware that he is No Longer Important but nothing changes so??#elwing thinks absolutely not and uses this to cope. she feels like she has so little agency already#at least if it's cosmic there's nothing she could've done#at least if it's cosmic her mistakes are worth something#(she needs so much therapy)#earendil is the only spouse who comes to fully understand this. he cant decide what he thinks. every option seems horrifying in its own way#elrond and elros both think yes and use this to cope. they can be better. they can make things better.#there may be a story but they can make it a happy one.#they're people and that has to count for something.
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Thoughts and pictures - S3E5
And we're getting into the hard episodes...
This first scene is sad and terrible. The shot of the broken glasses and pink condom, the background so dirty and creepy... And my poor Wilhelm trying to deal with this new knowledge about his brother...
"You could say that W's lack of communication became rhetorical. [...] Was it a conscious strategy by W? [...] Maybe he was just in the wrong place, and chance decided his place in world history." -> So I have no idea what Valter and Henry are talking about but it's interesting that they say that just after the scene with Wilhelm and Erik's "words" during the awful initiation. Was Erik in the wrong place at the wrong time? (Also lack of communication: the big issue of Wilmon this season...)
Sara being immediately so suspicious when she comes back home to see Micke all happy and energetic. But also her little hopeful smile when he tells her she can drive him to the test to calm her nerves 😞
His mother is "trying to keep all of that" from him? Really? While his father keeps telling him he needs to be ready to take over? Ludwig sucks. And again telling Wille how perfect Erik was, that he didn't have this "darkness inside of him". Can't he ever have a real conversation with his son? Annnnd hanging up right when Wille was asking about Erik. I am so heartbroken for him 😟
I hate this scene >< Wilhelm is so mean to Simon. He lashes at him immediately. Simon doesn't even have time to answer anything and Wille is already accusing him of judging Erik. I know he's angry and hurt and lost but I hate how mean he can be in these situations...
I think it's really the moment that I realized how hard it was starting to be for me to believe in them as a couple. They can't communicate. Wilhelm is so hurt and lashes out at Simon as a result. And I've seen a lot of people saying how it was between Simon and Crown Prince Wilhelm that the communication was off and impossible, not between Simon and Wille, but I disagree with that: Wilhelm here is not the Crown Prince, he's a grieving teenager who's brother's perfect image just got shattered to pieces. And they still can't manage to talk.
Sara waiting for Micke to pick her up... Another heartbreak ><
Why is Wilhelm convinced that Simon was judging Erik?? He really didn't. And please please please, can't you just go back to your therapy sessions with Boris? You so badly need them Wille :/
"It fits you perfectly." In which universe did this blazer fit him perfectly Linda? xD Why did they choose something so big?
Sara breaking down... I had hoped for maybe a bit more, like an honest conversation between her and Simon before he forgave her, but the scene was still cute.
Wilhelm wearing a simple black jumper: yes please. He looks so good.
And another cute scene between them to make us forget how fucked up their relationship is right now... ^^'
And see? Wilhelm can decide some things and have his voice heard. He did well during his birthday ceremony thingy but then put his foot down and refused to have August come to his birthday dinner. He didn't yell, was very calm and assertive, and Farima said okay. The idea that he would be completely stuck behind a script to follow as Crown Prince (and then King) is absurd to me. He has a voice. He can actually makes things happen/change. (Yes I will die on this hill 😆)
(Okay the girls are just so cute in their little uniforms 🥰)
Cuties being friendly again !!
Gosh the difference between how lively the dinner at school is compared to the stiffness and silence of the birthday dinner >< And Kristina, girl, wtf are you doing... I know you're still trying to deal with Erik's death but was it really necessary to bring up how perfect he was during your other son's birthday >< Can't you be there for him? Can't you try harder to help him? To just be his mother when it's his birthday and he's officially introducing his boyfriend to you? 😩
I don't hate this scene between August and Sara. I appreciate the development and to see where they both are at that moment. Also this shot is very pretty!
And another bad scene between Wilhelm and Simon... Why does Wille keep being so mean? Again I know he's hurting so much but fuck. Why can't they actually talk to each other? Well, why can't Wille actually talk to Simon?
This scene between Wilhelm and his parents was so fucking important. So fucking needed. I'm just sad that it happened so late in the season. And that it didn't really change anything.
What can I say about this last scene? Edvin and Omar are incredibly good actors, their tear-streaked faces are heartbreaking. Simon breaking up with him was expected I guess at this point. It was really getting hard to believe in their relationship... But what a terrible moment to do it! I wanted something cute out of a scene when they're both in pajamas and sweatpants in Wille's bed 😩
So it is "easier" to watch these episodes now that I know exactly what's gonna happen, but it doesn't really make me like them more >< This episode was probably the first one that made me dislike Wilmon as a couple. And it's not a fun thing to realize ><
I'll try to wrap up this rewatch tomorrow with the last episode! (And I'm already trying to think about how I will deal with rewatching the whole show in the future, because this season is not giving me the happy happy butterflies that the 2 first did ><)
#Young Royals#Young Royals season 3#yr S3E5#Wilmon#Prince Wilhelm#Simon Eriksson#Queen Kristina#it makes me so sad that these episodes are so terrible for Wilhelm and Simon#we saw them go through a lot of things#but this season is particularly brutal#I really don't like how they're just so incapable of communicating#how Wilhelm is so mean ><#Sara is very pretty in this episode though!!#(gosh I'm at a point where the Wilmon part of the episode is the part I like the least#I'm not supposed to prefer the Sara / August / Felice / everyone else scenes better ><)#one last episode to go#my S3 analysis
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yea if u guys like me u will drop kevjean, jerejean, and jeaneil fic recs in my inbox…. if u like me of of course
#rambles#aftg#all for the game#tsc#the sunshine court#neil josten#kevin day#jeremy knox#jerejean#jeaneil#kevjean#preferably only completed fics. but i’ll take whatever#im putting a lot of faith in yall to at least put one ask in that inbox of mine.#recommend me ur own damn fics like if u wrote let me support it tf
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although it is a little funny, whenever a new version of a vocal synth comes out on a different engine, the biggest complaint i always see is that the new version "doesn't sound like them". we all just choose our favourite type of engine noise in the end <3
#i dunno its kinda funny to me. its a complaint thats hard to address. which one is 'them'?#to me v1 is my fav kaitos and meikos but a lot of people prefer their v3s. i never cared for any vocaloid ver of IA but i adore her cevio#it really is a matter of which noise and engine artefacting you like the most LOL#a big thing i like about sv genbu is the noise and quirks of all standard sv voicebanks (although hes unique as a powerscale style thing)#(plus he has those extra phoneme groups which is nuts. utau append bank ass <3 )#so if he does get an AI bank it will sound quite different. partially because of the different methods of vocal synthesis and partially#because its been like 4 years and the VP's singing will sound different if they record new stuff for it#i will enjoy them both for different purposes <3 different types of hashtag engine noise for ALL#which speaking of which. v6 tsuina will be intriguing. i like sv tsuina and i dont really 99% of v6's engine noise LOL#but i did kind of like some of gumi solid so who knows. it'll at least be interesting to hear what people use her for
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So who is your favorite creepy pasta my is laughing jack
Abandoned by Disney and Godzilla NES!!! For the creeps associated with the slendermansion idea (which I love btw), it has been years since I last read their creepypastas, but just for their characters I think Laughing Jack and Ticci Toby! I think Jeff is INCREDIBLY funny because in the og story he was just 13. To me he made that story up and posted it in the internet. I know him.
#ask tag#creepypasta#creepypasta fandom#like. to me jeff nina and jane are three idiots who share one (1) braincell#jeff made his story up because what actually happened isn't something he wants to share#he did cause an accident that hurt jane tho and they did have beef for a while#and nina to me copied his irl actions#if we're using the slendermansion concept i think the three of them were after the same guy#then all got there at the same time and went “???? what are YOU doing HERE????”#(they were all 18-19 when this happened)#and then slenderman took them in because to me the slendermansion concept works better if its found family#OR a metaphor for kids ending up in bad homes and having to break free of them (in this case is via killing slenderman)#(altho i prefer found family because it's more comedic)#oh wow that's a lot of talk in the tags! anyways if anyone is interested in my creepypasta opinions just send me an ask#jeff nina and jane have friendship bracelets as well. at least to me#source: i made it up
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Thank god Sasha was confirmed bisexual, otherwise people would hc her as lesbian solely and exclusively because she's kind of a bitch.
#like it's a stereotype at this point. happy bubbly character HC'd as bi or pan. weird almost alien-esque character HC'd as ace/aro/aroace#skinny depressed sadboi man HC'd as gay. physically stronger taller and more extroverted and confident man HC'd as bisexual#and of course. mean bitch HC'd as a lesbian#i really don't get the ''nice fun and bubbly = bisexual'' stereotype at all#like what does it meannnnn#is it meant to represent how they're more ''open'' to ''more people''??#and lesbians being mean represents ?? idk that they're more ''closed''?#also see how the fanon male gay characters are usually like sad delicate flowers that must be protected and fanon lesbians are#just more ''rough'' somewhat. or at least closed off and cold or distant somehow#''frigid'' is the word that comes to my mind (yikes)#btw I LOVE that Anne and Marcy are characterized as lesbians a lot of the time in this fandom#since they're definitely much more ''soft'' and like cutesy and sweet than big mean Sasha#i love lesbian Anne (extroverted. confident. likes playing matchmaker. super super social. local jock. quite girly when she has the chance)#and I love lesbian Marcy (soft adorable bubbly girl. surprisingly extroverted. VERY hyper. vv energetic. adorable n precious cinnamon roll)#i kinda like the idea of aroace Marcy as someone who clings to her friends so desperately because she sees them drifting away from her#and priorizing other types of relationships (romantic bonds) while she's left alone because THEY were her everything#and she gave her whole heart to them#but they never gave their hearts to her because they were waiting for someone else to give them to. a romantic partner.#something marcy could never be#but I also feel like sometimes the ''weird girl'' thing might give off alien vibes somehow (?) like she just clearly doesn't belong in this#in this world she doesn't belong to this species she doesn't experience what most humans experience#i have mixed feelings on aroace marcy but tbh i don't care enough to like. complain about people who see her that way lol#though I admit I prefer lesbian Marcy a lot more#my posts#btw one hc i really do adore is trans girl Anne. idk if it's ''too stereotypical'' in relation to her like about who she sees in the mirror#i find it so soft and sweet. how she learns to love herself. how she forms a sense of self. trans girl anne my absolute precious#amphibia
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this isn't an ask or a request, but I hope you could still post it, because since I found this account the wave of love for this fandom crushed me yet again
not to disclose who I am too much, but here's a fact: I was dealing with pre schoolers as a part of my education(or, well, practice). around the same time I discovered the wonderful world of hermitcraft age regress fics. I myself don't regress, but I find those works insanely comforting. anyways I mentioned my education because, while in fics the looking after might be Way to soft and all-allowing (that YES can be very bad even short term), most of the works show it really well. and not just comforting, but as if the authors know Very Well they are portraying not a parent figure per say, but a "cool uncle that looks after you" type character and I LOVE IT. maybe this says smth about my childhood, maybe it's the overwhelming feeling of love coming from a friendship, but still. kudos to everyone who writes age re in this fandom, I love you.
I still haven't explored the topic of age regression as a study (meaning: I haven't really looked up the real world instances), but I have a feeling that learning about this phenomena in psychology feelings-first from a fictional work was a good idea.
Your ask has actually reminded me why I love this blog. I've been a bit out of touch with the fandom lately, but the sense of community that comes from gathering around something so niche is really nice and I love hearing about it.
I'm glad this type of content can be comforting and enjoyable even if you don't regress!
Also, when I originally had the idea to start this blog, there was very little agere-related content in this fandom that didn't emphasize a parental, set-in-stone caregiver as a key feature. I'm happy to see so much more variety in how people portray it in relation to friends and partners.
#Anonymous#also i appreciate that theres less emphasis on a carer as someone who has all the same authority as an actual parent#im sure theres still works like that (i havent actually been on ao3 in ages)#but i always found it hard to enjoy that type of content because it was an automatic assumed thing in most instances#that the carer would be a parent with full authority over the regressed person#without much (or any) discussion.#for me at least being treated like that while in that state would not be good for me#so having that be presented as the default made it difficult to read.#this is also why a lot of my posts center around friends just being patient and comforting and hanging out/playing instead of having a#distinct carer#and the ones that do feature a carer rarely have a parental vibe.#when i write about interactions between a regressed character and an adult-mode character i usually try to think of like#what type of boundaries they wouldve set with each other. and how that relates to the regressed characters individual feelings#since some people find it helpful to have someone act like a babysitter would. but others just prefer for their friends to hang out normall#of course fanfiction doesnt always need to be real world accurate and can just be someones 'man i wish someone would take care of e' fantas#(a lot of my unpublished stuff lately is just like... characters being far too accommodating of the pov character's problems lol)#but i like to include variety#wow i rambled a lot more than i meant to#not a headcanon#oli says things
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For the month of November I will kinda be doing a little bit of two challenges/concepts when I have the energy. No real rhyme or reason behind what I choose when. The two concepts are:
Huevember No Shame November
Now, Huevember is something people know of already probably. But regardless of if I do it daily or whatever, I will only be using the hue for the corresponding day. So if I do No Shame stuff for a few days, I will not pick up the hues for day 2. it will be whatever hue matches that day.
No Shame is just something silly I came up with as a joke a few years ago to let myself draw more cringe-y stuff. More self-indulgent things without apologizing for it.
If any of you have a character suggestion for Huevember, feel free to reply to this post with the character/day. It should be easy to google the colors. Also! If you want to suggest someone for No Shame where you simply want me to draw something very self-indulgent, feel free to suggest "No Shame (character name)". For these I'd prefer DBH but I'm willing to consider other games I've played for hues.
#moe talks a lot#not art#this is going to be my pinned for at least a week probably lmao#obviously i wont do every single hue one since it would correspond to a particular day and i might not be feeling it that day#but i will really try to do a couple if i get any at all#asks or replies are chill ! since i know some people prefer anon#the only thing is pretty please specify a number for the hues not just a name then saying for huevember#im sorry i cannot have the energy rn to link to the og tumblr post for huevember#i gotta get to bed real soon and my meds are def hitting me into the eepy zone#i might edit this tomorrow to make more sense if i need to when i reread it#im sorry for all the text posts though#i really try to keep my blabber to a minimum with no art since its my flippin art blog
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