#which is what makes this very funny to me
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zorbik-guligan · 17 hours ago
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Not really sure what incongruous means so I'll look it up after but it does feel like as i get older life gets more complex theres more things i understand now that sure i knew about them before but not in great detail but it feels like I've become so fucking complex as a person that if i tried to explain what i actually think and feel it would just overwhelm a person so i try and section myself off into pieces and just use different parts of me with different situations or people and it may just be because ive spent most of my time these past 2 almost 3 years now alone with nothing to do but think and figure myself out that when im asked what i think about something slightly personal its kinda hard to say it just got lost in my head somewhere and that whatever i think will change at a moments notice like i can bring up memories of lots of things and remember nostalgic times but i spent so long thinking about why i feel a certain way or what makes me feel a certain way in order to try and get a better hold of myself that ive kinda forgotten alot of my past like so many memories that i made are just gone because remembering them made me feel a way i dont want to feel like i remember realizing the beginning of 6th grade that i had completely forgotten 5th grade and the reason why was because that time i had was so nice yet not at the same time my brain just frogot because it didn't want a reminder of how good yet not something can be like great teachers who for the first time ever actually seemed to care as far as i could tell class mates who were generally friendly and occasionally checked on me if i seemed off yet i felt so alone cause nobody there really seemed like a real friend like the friends i had before who even when we were in deep trouble wouldn't rat me out and would stick with me who genuinely cared and missed me if i was sick getting older and not having anyone to socialize with for really formative years off my life has made understand those really old dudes who are nice and always up to make friends but just seem extra lonely for some reason despite knowing so many people i guess technically being that alone did hurt me but i kinda learned that im just not alone ever when im outside theres always some squirrels birds or plants nearby that make it more lively its why ive grown so fond of certain forested spots they are always lively and it feels like hanging out with all my friends its also why i enjoy making things like with metal or wood stone or even writing and painting those things feel alive in a way same with music and having time to think so much has made me reflect and realize that no day is the same and even when something changes something else stays the same or gos back to how it was in a weird cycle like growing but remembering where you were growing older for me anyways is like gaining more skills and more knowledge not just on the stuff around me but on myself too obviously people change sometimes pretty quickly too but getting older makes you learn more about yourself which duh that how life works but still it feels weird to be aware of it at 17 when it feels like i should still be trying to figure out my favorite youtuber or something not contemplate who i am as a person and what makes me feel the way i do but its a good kind of weird and theres always more to learn and find so i still have plenty of room to learn more about myself still not being able to really fully let a person know you kinda sucks but to be fair that is a rather special thing its also nice being able to put into words why i feel a certain way so that i can actually explain myself instead of just going quiet cause i dont know myself that well still kinda funny to know your own problems but not be able to jusy fix them when you know its a very deep problem even when it seems surface level and damn i got kinda personal there woops also just noticed that im shaking so might be overwhelmed remembering 5th grade which is probably why i frogot it or at least thought i did
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anybody else feel that being human is like being a long-time syndicated cartoon character watching the world get more complex while your own design stays the same until youre incongruous with the reality around you??
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ddarker-dreams · 1 day ago
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lock's otome game recs
i received some asks indicating an interest in a compilation of my favorite otome games, so i decided to go for it!! i've played about fourteen otome games, but of those fourteen, only these six left a lasting impression on me. there are still some that i intend to check out, so the rankings may update in the future. i'll give a very general overview of each game and how i'd score the categories that i find the most important in an otome game — the heroine, story, art, enjoyability, along with the characters i liked the most.
number 6 - piofiore fated memories.
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heroine: 6/10 story: 6.5/10 characters: 7/10 art: 10/10 enjoyability: 8/10 favorite characters: dante (ishikawa kaito), nicola (kimura ryouhei) and yang (okamoto nobuhiko)
this game centers around the heroine, with the default name liliana adornato, who finds herself entangled in the politics of the region's three most prominent crime organizations. the game has an italian backdrop and iirc, takes place in the 1930s.
the overarching narrative, while it has its fair share of intrigue, isn't the game's strongest point. it's the interactions with the characters themselves that made the game feel worthwhile. each love interest has more to them than what meets the eye, so it's satisfying to watch the relationship between them and the heroine develop.
the heroine takes a passive role throughout much of the game, events sorta just happen to her. still, she has a kind disposition that makes her likable and doesn't make stupid decisions that has you wanting to fling your console across the room. her characterization changes slightly depending on the route. for instance, without getting into spoilers, she's more assertive throughout yang's route. the resulting dynamic made yang's route the most memorable, even if he's my third favorite character from the bunch.
what feels unique to this game is the effort put into the bad endings. in most visual novels, bad endings can feel like gimmicks. you make one or two wrong decisions and you're rewarded with a few paragraphs. the downward spiral of the characters in the bad endings are decently fleshed out and you can see how they arrived at this 'worst' version of themselves. they're suitably dark and it shouldn't come as a surprise that i enjoyed them because of that 😭
then there's the art. it's stunning, the details in each CG are mindboggling. the heroine gets to wear a variety of pretty outfits which is something i like to see. even in the story's weaker moments, a stunning CG would pop up that had me forgiving everything. i still glance through the gallery to this day.
number five - cupid parasite.
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heroine: 9.5/10 story: 7/10 characters: 7/10 art: 9/10 enjoyability: 9/10 favorite characters: ryuki keisaiin (junya enoki) & gill lovecraft (kimura ryouhei)
iconic. showstopping. a little bit camp.
cupid parasite stars one of my favorite heroines, lynette. she works as a bridal advisor whose ambition is to ensure everyone finds their soulmate. in actuality, she's the goddess cupid, who left her post in celestia to better understand humanity and create lasting pairs. she's a delight to play as.
this game's presentation and overall aesthetic is the most distinct from any otome game i've played. aside from the presentation, the story itself is unlike any of the others on this list. when it comes to romance, i typically prefer them to be dark and mature. this game opts for a more lighthearted approach. it vacillates between being a romcom and dipping into the absurdist genre. there were times i was literally left speechless (glances at gill's route)... but it makes for an entertaining experience. the game's plenty funny as well.
personally, i enjoyed the more grounded moments when the mythological elements remained in the background. because of this, the true ending doesn't do it for me as much as they do in other games. as with anything, this is a personal preference though. i liked all of the routes and found the game handles the development of each love interest well. we're introduced to these men at their most pathetic and get to help them become a little more well-adjusted. lowering the cringe meter, if you will. it makes their growth all the most satisfying as the narrative progresses.
number four - even if tempest.
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heroine: 9/10 story: 8.5/10 characters: 8/10 art: 6/10 enjoyability: 9/10 favorite characters: the heroine herself, tyril i lister (noriaki sugiyama), crius castlerock (makoto furukawa) and lucien neuschburn (kaito ishikawa)
right from the get-go, this game's premise had me hooked. it features the heroine, anastasia (<3!), who leads an incredibly tragic life. she's bestowed the ability to reverse time following each of her deaths and uses this to unravel a mess of mysteries the world's setting is tangled in.
this game is absolutely anastasia's story. without spoiling anything, i loved the approach they took with the time rewinding ability. how it's incorporated is unique to an otome game, which they take full advantage of to amplify the tragic romances. on that note, the romance itself occasionally takes a backseat to the narrative as a whole. personally, i didn't mind this in the moment, since i found the story so interesting. in retrospect, i do wish that we got more moments between the heroine and each love interest, especially in the true ending.
there are more gameplay elements here as well. you have to conduct investigations, gather evidence, and apply what you've learned during these trial segments. when i first read about this, i thought it'd be a gimmick, but i liked playing through them. it incentivizes you to pay extra close attention to the world.
while i liked the narrative as a whole, i do wish we got more worldbuilding. there are hints of political subterfuge and religious oligarchy that, while touched upon, could've been leaned into more to give the setting a distinct feeling.
number three - olympia soiree
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heroine: 8/10 story: 8/10 characters: 8/10 art: 10/10 enjoyability: 10/10 favorite characters: akaza (yoshitsugu matsuoka), himuka (shun horie), and yosuga (yuma uchida)
in olympia soirée, the eponymous heroine, olympia, lives in a society divided into castes based on colors. she is the last surviving member of a clan that can perform rituals to keep the sun aglow. this game is a lengthier title, i believe i clocked in around 25 ish hours (i don't use auto-play so that sheds some time). the story benefits from this, as olympia has rich worldbuilding and lore that's revealed throughout the route's progression.
we get to see the consequences of this caste system and olympia's growth as she becomes determined to realize a better future for the islands. this makes the heroine someone that you want to root for. personally, i'm a sucker for stories that center around a sheltered individual being forced to face the harsh realities of the world and maturing in their own way. this, paired with the struggles specific to this setting, make for a gripping backdrop for the character's routes. all the love interests have problems of their own that they need to address.
this is certainly a mature title, there's plenty of steamy scenes featuring gorgeous artwork. seriously... all the pretty CGs are absolute eye candy. i enjoyed the balance between the main narrative and the development of the romantic relationships, i don't remember ever feeling bored.
ironically enough, i think this is the darkest game from the bunch listed here, surpassing the game with actual horror elements. there's a whole litany of trigger warnings to be mindful of when going through the game's bad ends. they are, as the term suggests, Bad. not light or humorous in the slightest. the poor heroine goes through it. please be mindful of these more touchy subjects.
number two - 9 r.i.p
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heroine: 8/10 story: 8/10 characters: 9/10 art: 10/10 enjoyability: 10/10 favorite characters: minami (nobuhiko okamoto), hibiki (shunichi toki), kureha (toshiki masuda), and koyo (ryota suzuki)
i was looking forward to the english localization of this game before it was even announced ... i'd been wanting an otome game with this vibe for ages. and it didn't disappoint! there are four different overarching story sections, with two characters each having their routes fall under them. this makes it difficult to give a summary since each route has a vastly different feel. some routes lean heavy into supernatural horror (such as hibiki and kureha), whereas others are just... supernatural (like with yukimaro and koharu).
the basic premise is that the main character, misa, is a high school girl burdened with her career survey. she's uncertain what she wants for the future and is being pressured by his mother to pursue a career in medicine. in one way or another, depending on the story section, she comes into contact with the afterlife and those who inhabit it.
i loved this game, i couldn't put it down. the routes that leaned heavy into horror were my favorites, which shouldn't be a surprise lol. i do feel some love interests were given preferential treatment of others, i wanted more from sena's storyline in particular, since he's voiced by one of my favorite VAs (tetsuya kakihara, the voice of scaramouche) 😭... apparently this game is receiving a fandisc, so hopefully they'll remedy that in the future.
minami stole the show for me. from what i've gauged online, he's a divisive character, you either find him grating or love him (like i do). i'm biased but i do think he has the most interesting and well-written story out of the love interests, i've played through it three times already. i just adored the dynamic between him and the heroine. he's petulant, selfish, and a bit immature, yet he goes to extremes for her as he realizes his unhinged feelings.
hibiki is a close second. the most yandere-coded of the bunch, he's soft-spoken and polite, but that exterior hides a creepy personality. like all of the characters in this game, there's a tragic element to him. i was worried about the role the heroine would play in helping him 'overcome' this, but i think they handled it well. it doesn't feel like the heroine's fixing him so much as she's helping him have a different perspective on certain events.
yeah i'm not normal about this game, i cannot recommend it enough. it would've taken the top slot if some of the routes were a bit more polished. i didn't care for yukimaro's at all, for example. routes like minami's, hibiki's, and koyo's more than make up for it though.
number one - collar x malice
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heroine: 10/10 story: 10/10 characters: 10/10 art: 10/10 enjoyability: 10/10 favorite characters: takeru sasazuka (daisuke namikawa), kei okazaki (yuki kaji), and aiji yanagi (masakazu morita)
the holy grail. the otome games that died for our sins. this isn't just a good otome game, it's an excellent story, with a very human cast, commentary on issues like the nature of crime, and you're left wanting to solve the various mysterious as much as the heroine does. speaking of the heroine, miss hoshino ichika is my all-time favorite heroine. she's clever, resolute, compassionate, and you can't help but fall in love with her a little yourself 😭😭
i'm not sure if this makes sense, but the world feels very... full? you get this sense that ichika exists outside just interacting with the love interests. she has her career, friends, and her younger brother that act as more than passing NPCs. the writers ensured all the characters with portraits are given some level of depth. i left caring about more characters than the heroine and love interests.
each route is dedicated to working through a certain case, which keeps the story intriguing as you progress. finally, all of the little hints that have been littered throughout coalesce into the 'true' route, where questions you've had since the first chapter are given satisfactory conclusions. at the same time, you're left wondering about a few things, such as the complete philosophy of the main antagonist.
ichika's relationship with each of the love interests develops alongside the case they're investigating, which almost always have connections or parallels to the LI's past. this helped ground them in reality and flesh them out into dynamic characters. you come to care deeply about them alongside ichika. the romance feels earned and doesn't come on too fast, which some otome games suffer from.
if you like otome games and haven't played collar x malice yet, i fully recommend it!!!!!!!! it's the strongest title from what i've played so far.
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vigilskeep · 1 day ago
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various and sundry artbook tidbits i found interesting (SPOILERS AHEAD FOR THE VEILGUARD ARTBOOK. obviously)
faction & location stuff:
a sketch page from the very early days exploring shape languages for factions like elves, dwarves, wardens, the necropolis, tevinter, and rivain, also includes concepts for the mages’ college and the ben-hassrath
early rivain concept arts have npcs with a similar armour patterning to duncan’s, suggesting it’s a mark of his rivaini heritage like i always thought!
the depiction of the ““creation story”” suggests elves were mimicking the bodies of dwarves when they formed their own, not humans like i think mythal says in game flashbacks, which would make more sense timeline wise
there’s concept art of the city of ventus, which i believe is of particular relevance to mercar players? it’s right on the border of arlathan forest, and surrounded by magical statues holding out raised hands forming a ward along the tree line to keep it from encroaching
the home base was going to be a lovable fixer-upper of a ship given to us by isabela, named the dumat. this didn’t fit the spy theme they were originally going for, so they tried really really hard to make it a submarine without feeling anachronistic by making it sort of sea monster shaped. there are a lot of cutaways and schematics. they were going to give it a mystery engine that you would get light fetch quests to feed random objects: “ten dried lavender flowers, five quail’s eggs, three brass belt buckles, etc.....” the submarine then turned into an undersea mansion on the back of some giant shambling sea creature you would never get a good look at
later on there were some funny takes on the lighthouse specifically, like bringing back the sea creature theme to put it on the back of an interdimensional veil whale, or having it be the true location of the black emporium with a collection of eluvians that xenon the antiquarian lets you use
there’s a tiny concept art for a “high-speed aravel chase” in a canyon like a western
tevinter gladiators are mentioned a couple times. we WEREEE going to get to see the minrathous proving grounds :( there’s also a dwarven embassy concept art somebody take me out back and shoot me
there are a lot of ghilan’nain creature designs that didn’t make it into the game which is a shame but i can see why they would have been resource heavy
the antiva concept arts are so gorgeous. a lot of it got through! and definitely the overall Vibe made it. at some point it seems to have been antiva city itself; they don’t call it treviso and they mention the circle of magi as a major landmark
“The entrance to the Necropolis is like an inverted Tower of Babel. They seek knowledge in the grave instead of heaven.” <- this just rules as a line
for arlathan: “To differentiate it from previous forest and jungle locations in Dragon Age, we went with an autumnal colour palette. It has the benefit to feeling ominously like the end.”
the veil jumpers have a “skull halla” symbol that “implies their willingness to risk death”. did that end up in the game?
“With each faction, we explored a range of aspirational fantasies. For the Wardens, this ranged from knights in shining armour to butal tanks to a Nietzche quote: ‘Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster.’”
there’s this concept among the warden armours for an insane orlesian noblewoman look with the winter palace morrigan corset and a piled high wig, but the skirts torn knee length and a serrated fan in hand. i’m kind of obsessed
“To bring more life to the world, we thought about what industries would keep the Anderfels afloat. We took the prominent Warden blue colour and envisioned an industry harvesting flowers, creating dye, and then weaving copious amounts of blue fabric.” this is probably where the flower quests in the hossberg wetlands started off conceptually? v cute
character stuff:
in completely different early versions of the game, solas had a “bad cop” right hand woman called reva
imshael the desire demon/choice spirit from the masked empire and inquisition was going to be a two-handed weapon warrior companion, and also sexualised now while in largely feminine form, which would have been a Choice. there is one art of him in masculine form, also sexy but still not showing as much skin as the feminine one
as i said, neve was going to be calpernia
taash was a rogue. (they’re still a light-armoured dual wielder so that checks out.) it seems like davrin was briefly a mage. at some points harding seems to have inherited bianca
saarbrak, another qunari companion, seems to have lastest the longest of the abandoned concepts. he’s the only non-canon one who got as far as having a place for him sketched into designs of the lighthouse: “saarbrak’s planning room”. mentions and sightings of what might be him are sporadic and i think you only see his name on that sketch, but i’m connecting it to the description “a potential qunari companion evolved from saarebas to dapper qunari spy, offering a deeper look into qunari culture”
the embroidery on harding’s clothes is how she passes the time while “waiting for days in a sniper perch” on missions. i just thought that was cute
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2amriize · 1 day ago
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.ᐟ RIIZE scenario: babysitting ༉‧₊˚.
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req: can u do babysitting with riize members? like babysitting a little cousin or something along the lines of that i guess? anton and eunseok with those kids makes me ☹️ it’s so cute!!!!!
pairing: bf!riize x reader —masterlist
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⭑.ᐟ shotaro
Shotaro had never taken care of such a small child before. At first, he wouldn’t really know what to do and would get a little (okay, very) nervous, letting out constant nervous laughs while asking every five seconds: “What should we do now?” After watching you struggle for a while trying to get the child to stop crying, he’d step in to help. He’d start making funny faces, quickly getting the child to laugh. You were surprised by how fast he managed it and how well they seemed to get along.
⭑.ᐟ eunseok
Even though you didn’t expect it from him, Eunseok is actually really good at babysitting. It’s probably because he has a younger sibling and a lot of experience with them. You couldn’t stop staring at him every time he played with the child, carried them, or soothed them—which, for some reason, he was particularly good at.
"I thought you already knew I’m good at everything."
⭑.ᐟ sungchan
He wouldn’t stop smiling and watching the child. Every little thing the kid did would make him grin. To keep everyone entertained, you decided to bake cookies together, but Sungchan got distracted for a moment and spilled the entire mixture on the floor. You didn’t expect that, seconds later, after a brief silence, the three of you would be starting a food fight, laughing uncontrollably.
"Just so you know, you’re cleaning this up, babe," you’d whisper in Sungchan’s ear once the chaos was over.
⭑.ᐟ wonbin
It would be pure chaos. Even though Wonbin finds little kids adorable, he has no idea how to interact with them. He wouldn’t know what to talk about or how to keep them entertained, but he’d keep trying new things to grab their attention, even attempting to teach them how to dance. That said, if the child started crying, you wouldn’t find him anywhere near.
"That’s all you," he’d say, pointing at you.
⭑.ᐟ seunghan
Things would start off pretty smoothly, but you knew it wouldn’t be a good idea to leave them alone. You’d only be gone for three minutes to use the bathroom, but when you returned, Seunghan and the child would have completely turned the living room upside down. Cushions and blankets would be scattered everywhere. According to Seunghan, he’d built an obstacle course to see who could complete it faster (and of course, he’d let the kid win).
⭑.ᐟ sohee
You’d spent the entire afternoon playing with the child, and it had been challenging for both of you since it was your first time babysitting. When bedtime rolled around, the child refused to go to bed no matter how much you insisted. That’s when Sohee came up with the idea to tell them a story and sing a lullaby. You were amazed at how quickly Sohee invented a tale about a princess named “y/n,” who needed to be rescued by the great knight “Sohee.”
⭑.ᐟ anton
He loves kids. In fact, he adores them, and he knows exactly how to take care of them. You, on the other hand, would feel completely lost. Even though you wanted to help out or spend some time playing with the child, they always ended up gravitating toward Anton. It wasn’t intentional, and you found it sweet to watch the two of them together, but deep down, you felt a little bad that the child kept choosing him over you. Anton noticed and told the child to go hug you and plant a kiss on your cheek while you were sitting on the couch, which completely made your night.
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masterlist // taglist: @regularsuh @gacktsa @totheseok @kkumistars @taroddori @enhacolor @ladylilith @electric-hearts @astrobymarwa @layluv123 @sunflowers1610 @nctrawberries @synkjellies @ramyeonzprincess
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naamahdarling · 2 hours ago
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So, the other night in an effort to show a friend that LLMs can produce very credible fiction and relatively inventive ideas, I played with ChatGPT for about 10 minutes I was able to make my point flawlessly. Don't get up my ass about this, that's juvenile.
ChatGPT has watched enough Dropout to be able to reasonably (and genuinely amusingly) impersonate Brennan Lee Mulligan and, to a lesser extent, Sam Reich. It's successfully produced a script for Game Changer where the show was entirely about cats and Brennan couldn't win, and parts of it were actually funny. It also produced an AITA post from the point of view of Brennan Lee Mulligan AS DM OF DIMENSION 20 that was in places absolutely hilarious.
It is able to very successfully postulate a set of G1 my little ponies that do not actually exist, complete with colors, cutie marks, and back card stories. It had a little trouble with G1 versus G4 due to the sheer glut of content, but its ideas were genuinely appealing because the source material it was drawing on was designed to be appealing.
It generated a list of birthday party themes that would terrify an arachnophobe, two or three of which were really good. A request for it to generate a list of queer pride birthday ideas didn't produce anything particularly original, but it was all appropriate and convincing.
It produced a short script where Johnny Sims from the Magnus archives receives birthday gifts from his coworkers, and one of those was a knife-wielding tentacle. This script was in places a little less sharp than the actual writing, but it absolutely nailed the speech patterns, and each gift was appropriate to the character giving it. It was genuinely funny. In places it was clever. It actually made me laugh.
I have most of these saved if anybody wants to see them instead of playing with it themselves.
It really isn't a question of what has been dumped into the data set. We can just assume it has been dumped in there somehow.
We can't undo what has been done and we're never going to be able to name all of the people whose work has been used to train these datasets.
I have both positive and negative feelings, strong ones on both sides, about this technology. If someone wants to use this technology to create a script for a movie in the Predator franchise, or a sequel to their favorite book, or whatever, that is a neutral act. Profiting from that is highly questionable, passing it off as the real thing is completely indefensible, using this technology to replace writers and artists and real people doing ANY work where there is no benefit to humans (like identifying cancer cells -- "AI" does that) is the second worst thing that can be done with it.
That's what worries me about this. It could produce infinite Simpsons episodes without the need for a single writer. Eventually it will be able to animate them so accurately you could ask it to make it look like it had been recorded on a video cassette and it would be completely convincing. It would be able to imitate the voice actors perfectly.
We do not want corporations to have that power. Worker protections are critical. It isn't that AI produces art that is bad or soulless or whatever. Those are completely spurious arguments and irrelevant to any true discussion of whether or not it is ethical.
What matter is is that we keep this shit out of the hands people who want to delete us from the workforce. They aren't going to delete the data. We need to protect workers.
P.S. Artists, Disney and Adobe do not have your best interests at heart. Copyright issues are more complicated than they are being presented, and if you find yourself on the side of one of these companies in any capacity, re-examine literally everything you think immediately. Unions. You want unions.
For reference, because I think it's really important to bring this up as often as possible, the worst application of this technology I can think of would be deliberately or accidentally misapplying data that could be used to affect things like a person's medical care, criminal record, and credit score, all of which are actually currently things that a single company can do, APPRISS, now owned by Equifax, yes that Equifax, and fucking nobody, none of y'all, are freaking out about that even though it's the single most frightening thing I have seen in 20 years. I cannot overstate its potential to utterly destroy the lives of literally anyone who comes into contact with the system that uses it, and those are unbelievably common. They are currently selling their product to law enforcement so that cops and businesses can use it to predict who will engage in criminal behavior, I'm literally not kidding about that, they come right out and say it. It is being trained on existing data and refined constantly.
Enjoy breaking your leg and needing painkillers, which get you flagged in a medical database that will try to prevent you from accessing them in the future (already happening), and also entering you into a law enforcement database that knows you have taken them. Then add in whatever eldritch fuckery bringing credit bureaus into it would cause.
We aren't fucked, I'm not a doomer who insists that all people are terrible and that we have no future and we might as well let things burn, I do actually care about the world we live in and the people who populate it and I consider humans a delight rather than a plague, but we need to start seriously resisting the use of this shit by entities more powerful than us. They are already way ahead.
“I can now say with absolute confidence that many AI systems have been trained on TV and film writers’ work. Not just on The Godfather and Alf, but on more than 53,000 other movies and 85,000 other TV episodes: Dialogue from all of it is included in an AI-training data set that has been used by Apple, Anthropic, Meta, Nvidia, Salesforce, Bloomberg, and other companies. I recently downloaded this data set, which I saw referenced in papers about the development of various large language models (or LLMs). It includes writing from every film nominated for Best Picture from 1950 to 2016, at least 616 episodes of The Simpsons, 170 episodes of Seinfeld, 45 episodes of Twin Peaks, and every episode of The Wire, The Sopranos, and Breaking Bad.”
😡
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azaharinflames · 2 days ago
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Will you share your theory on what you think is happening behind the scenes of 911?
Hi, Nonnie!
Sure! As long as everyone is aware this is purely speculation, and nothing I say should be taken as proof of anything, I have no problem.
I've gone over a few things in my head, to be honest. I thought that JLH having filming conflicts could've been a major factor, and I still don't exactly disagree with that initial idea, but overall I think it was one of the things that threw TM for a loop.
Now, I've seen a lot of people theorize that perhaps Angela is leaving and that is what is causing so much chaos in BTS, but I am on the fence about this. I do think she might've asked to not have such a big role moving forward, especially if they get a season 9 (which I am also on the fence about ngl), like perhaps retiring, or just having a more laidback position training new recruits. The seeds are planted for that, not so much for her fully leaving. And it would give Angela more free time to dedicate to other projects (which, yes please. I need her in new projects ASAP).
So... (and please don't kill me for this, it's just a theory).
I think it all comes back to Ryan. And that he perhaps is leaving, or actively wants to leave. I will try to explain myself as concise as possible:
A couple of months ago there was already speculation about this. In all of his individual interviews (which were a lot, to be honest), Ryan made a point of talking about his work beyond 911 and talking about what he would like to do after 911.
On top of the individual promo, there was an uncharacteristically high amount of BTS dedicated to him and the godforsaken mustache. To the point where they threw a mustache party. And in the pics of that party, the vibes were that it was a party for Ryan, not in general.
Small thing, but Josh randomly dressing up as Eddie for Halloween. Perhaps unrelated, but I wanted to add it.
The 911 account reposting and celebrating Ryan's 100th ep, when 1. it wasn't his 100th (if we count the eps he was actually in) and 2. it was also JLH's, and yet they didn't say a thing about it. Ryan reposted that as well and the message he reposted it with was more nostalgic than anything else. Very much giving 'it was an honor to work with you, what a journey'.
I could be wrong, but I do think his contract ends this season. So, that just adds to it.
The timeline of the move to Texas. By the reactions alone I was fully expecting Eddie to leave for Texas at the end of 808, and then to be back with Chris (in a lazy way of solving their conflict off-screen) by 809-810. But the way he's currently thinking about it makes it very sus for me. As in, it can be a thing for the end of the season, and an actual goodbye for Eddie.
Of course, nothing of this has to actually happen, and it's quite possible it just exists in my brain. But this makes sense in my funny brain because then it explains why BT had to break up so soon... because they wanted Buck to feel completely isolated.
We know 809-10 will deal with Maddie being kidnapped. That alone will make Buck spiral. But if on top of that his best friend is also leaving... well, being alone just adds to the isolation and the angst. Because if Tommy was still around he'd be able to lean on him, and have him help him through this. But it seems like the writers wanted Buck fully alone for this, because sure, seeing a character never learning and being completely isolated is so much fun.
If this ends with BT getting back together, I honestly don't know. It wouldn't surprise me if Tim doesn't know. But, all in all, I wouldn't be surprised if RG deciding he's done is the thing that kinda created the domino effect.
(Also: I do not believe Oliver was telling Tim to fire Lou and end BT. Sorry. I just don't really see it. Nor do I think there were actual conflicts between actors BTS, as much as everything they're doing right now does feel a bit weird)
Anyway, thanks for letting me rant, Nonnie! My inbox is always open for ranting, venting, or discussing
Take care <3
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kurosagi-h8r · 2 days ago
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Hii love your little headcanons so I wanted to ask if you can do "what happens when mc asks the ghouls for dating advice"
I don't think mc would ever realistically ask them that but the reactions would be funny💀
WWWWWW SURE DO~~ But i'm gonna make this into parts because i don't think i'm strong enough i'm too frail to write for all of 'em in one go (no joke my shoulder pain has been killing me). so sorryyy ╯︿╰
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Jin
Bold of you to assume he's gonna give you relationship advice when he can't fix his relationship with his papa
tbf he's probably gonna look at you weirdly and uhh remind you that you're his slave and nothing more and that any thought of being in a relationship with other people is forbidden
or ask you a bunch of question that will make you feel ashamed that you don't marry rich (with him as the standard) idk
Tohma
Will actually be a pretty decent guy to go for when it comes to dating advice... I think...
"blablablabla who's the guy? is it someone i know? blablabla I suggest you do this and that blablabla why not use me as an example? It won't do you any harm, no?"
"Will you update me on the progress? I don't want to be nosy, I'm simply looking out for you. Too many potential danger lurking in this place and I want nothing less than to sleep at night knowing that you're safe."
Very much biased but he can manipulate me all he wants and i will give in i won't even think twice about it
Kaito
This loser will start crying on the spot thinking that you found someone else already
"I-I never said I found someone..." and a lightbulb will come out of his head thinking that you were asking him SPECIFICALLY because HE is the one you're crushing on. "I've read somewhere that this is one of the things people do to find out more about their crush... THIS IS IT! THIS IS MY CHANCE!"
And all the advice he's giving you are the things that he wants you do to him
Not even gonna be ashamed about it go for it kaito
Luca
Most earnest in giving dating advice. He genuinely wants to help. He's even honored to be the one you go to for such important decision making.
Even if you do it to find out more about him, he's gonna be oblivious 😭 good luck
Honestly i don't have much words to back him up but personally, deep in my heart, i would go to this guy because i don't believe in myself when it comes to this kind of thing. i will trust you to set me in the right path luca ❤ i'll even trust you to beat up the shitty guy in my stead (lol)
Alan
Look me in the eye and tell me he has any dating experience
Not good with words but will stand behind you few steps away as you do what you want to do. Be it confessing your feelings or setting boundaries with your partner. For support 👍
Whether your partner finds it scary or not it's their problem
Surprisingly good at comforting maybe? If your partner breaks your heart and you don't feel like talking it out he will drive you around to clear your head.
Leo
"You're asking me? Oh my God you must be THAT desperate huh."
GIRL JUST ABORT MISSION ATP WHATEVER YOU'RE STRESSING OUT ABOUT IT'S GONNA GET WORSE IF YOU'RE SEEKING THIS GUY'S ADVI-- *got dragged away*
"Not gonna listen to all that. Why don't we just try making them jealous? You have me and I'm always down for a challenge~"
Ask yourself, which one is worse, making a deal with the devil or Leo?
Sho
Alright listen, depending on how dire the situation is i would want him to pretend to be my bf to make my partner jealous. HE'S PROBABLY GONNA HATE IT but i'm not one to pass up such opportunity /j
biker boyfriend to make your partner jealous??? why the hell not
I can feel him looking at me weirdly "you seriously coming to me for a relationship advice...?"
"How the hell would I know? Get them back with their favorite food? A way to someone's heart is to their stomach or whatever the saying goes." If it's cooking skill you're lacking maybe he can help a little.
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moronkyne · 1 day ago
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More redacted headcanons because sleep is for the weak!!
help me.
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❃ AFAB!Angel with an ovaries disorder that makes their hormones MONSTERS. Acne galore, hair grows on belly and under chin very easy, weight is super weird for them, and emotions are CRAZY. David was the first person who didnt make them feel invalid for it. Telling them that they’re gorgeous either way. And Angel knows it. (PROJECTING ON ANGEL AGAIN)
❃ Southern Sweetheart. Southern. Sweetheart. Thick and deep accent, smooth talker and seductive.
❃ Aaron writes checks for no reason. I dont know why, he doesnt know why. He finds it easier and more efficient meanwhile smartass has grown to somehow find that ATTRACTIVE.
❃ To follow up on that first one—DAVIDS BACK ACNE IS NOT SAFE. THAT MAN IS NOT SAFE.
❃ Baaabe is the typa person to scream whenever their favorote webtoon/webcomic gets an update. Asher was AT FIRST startled by it—But, now he just asks which one and for Baaabe to fill him in about ‘the hot gosp’
❃ Ive talked about Milo ane Bruno Mars—BUT HEAR ME OUT ON MILO AND JOHN LEGEND.
❃ Milo and Asher have kissed. Idk where—I don’t know when or why, but it was funny as shit. Asher grabbed Milo by the collar of his shirt, both fists clenching around the fabrics—SMOOCH. Milo discovered he was into manhandling that day.
❃ Morgan is slightly intimidated by his listener.
❃ Honey was a band kid. Marching band. Guy was a theatre kid. Let that sink in. Band X Drama my beloved
❃ Talking about Honey, theyre the type of person to look their HOTTEST when they wake up—This WAS KILLLLLING pre-confession Guy. Their tank top slightly hanging off on their neck? Waistband a lil too low? Hair all frizzy and fucked up? UUUUUGH
❃ Darlin’ walks around shirtless 99% of the time.
❃ Also… I’ve always seen Aggro as a black cat with yellow eyes that kinda resemble Sweethearts eyes. Idk why or what caused this but Aggro is a black cat to me and thats neat. :3
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heavyhitterheaux · 4 hours ago
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Hello
See Me Through You Series
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You had me at hello
Synopsis: The day that you met the love of your life and didn't realize it until almost a year later
Series Masterlist
Stepping onto the sidewalk as you had just left the building where your journalism class had just ended, your phone suddenly vibrated in your back pocket. It took you a minute to grab it, seeing as both of your hands were occupied at the moment. Doing a balancing act with your purse, backpack, keys and your binder that contained your notes, but was too big to fit in your backpack, you finally had a free hand.
Pulling it out of your back pocket, you saw it was your younger twin brother by three minutes Ja'Marr calling on facetime and took no hesitation to answer it. This was his fifth call to you today and knew that about four more would come your way and the worst part about it was that it wasn't even noon.
Not that you were upset about it. If your little brother called and needed you, he always became the priority and everything would be dropped at that very moment.
“What does your ugly ass want?” You asked him as his face came into view. He promptly rolled his eyes and sucked his teeth before saying anything. You could tell that he was in the gym and was probably waiting on you to get there since you had promised to work out with him.
“If I'm ugly, so are you because we're twins, stupid!”
“No, that's what mom and dad tell you but they actually found you in a dumpster and felt sorry for you and took you in.” You told him as you laughed and started to make your way back to your car to head to your apartment that was off campus.
It was only a few miles down the road which you were thankful for and the good part is that you could also drive home to see your parents on the weekends if you wanted to.
You were relieved when Ja'Marr decided to attend LSU with you because the two of you had never been apart in your entire lives. Deep down you knew that you would have eventually adjusted to him not being at the same college as you, but also glad that you didn't have to go that route.
“Y/N!”
“Just kidding! What do you need assistance with, little one?”
“Little one? I'm 6’1 and you are BARELY 5 feet on a good day. Try again.”
You were suddenly taken aback as you saw someone come into the frame behind him and did a double take once you recognized who it was.
Growing up in a sports filled household, college football as well as the NFL was not foreign to you. You watched both of them and knew players as well as their stats forwards and backwards. So to your surprise, you were actually seeing him in real time. You heard of the transfer happening, but it was different seeing him right in front of you.
So the rumors were true, he was really here.
Joe Burrow
Who used to play for Ohio State apparently was now playing for LSU.
“Ja'Marr, I will hang up. State your business or move on.”
“I thought you were supposed to meet me at the gym to work out AND bring my headphones that I know for a fact you stole.”
“YOU CAN'T PROVE IT!”
“Hmm, funny. I recall you asking me to use them last week and I haven't seen them since.”
“I threw them away.”
“WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DEMAND ON STRESSING ME OUT? And I have someone here I want you to meet.”
“Who?”
“Will you just hurry up and get here and stop arguing with me!? I can pick your ass up and throw you across the room.”
“Hmm, sounds like a threat. I'm calling mommy. Bye.”
“Uh hold on, WAIT! DON'T CALL HER!”
Click.
Once back in your apartment, you quickly changed into your pink and black Fabletics workout set with your matching HOKAS and went on the search not only for Ja'Marr's headphones, but also yours. Since he let you borrow his, you didn’t bother trying to find yours even though you know you should have.
The both of you worked out with each other several times a week and it was important seeing as he played football and you were on the gymnastics team with your best friend, Erin.
Putting your curly hair into a high bun since you didn’t have time to straighten it this morning, you grabbed your wallet, water bottle, and keys before making your way back down to your car and heading to the gym.
Walking inside, you spotted him along with Joe in the corner next to the weight rack and promptly came up behind him and attempted to pick him up as you saw Joe's face giving a small smirk because of the gesture. You admit that you didn't realize how tall Joe actually was and you noticed that he was taller than Ja'Marr when they stood next to one another.
“HEY! Oh, it's just you. Joe, my big little sister by three minutes and she will never let you forget it, Y/N and Y/N this is Joe. And you are never going to be able to pick me up.” He told you while patting the top of your head as you were now trying to pick up his left leg.
“Just you watch. It's going to happen one day when you least expect it. Anyway, Hi Joe, and Ja'Marr you should know better. I already know who you are.” You told him and he looked a little confused before greeting you.
“Hey, you do gymnastics right? I saw you compete over the summer.”
You smiled before nodding, taken aback that he knew who you were also. Not a lot of attention was put on gymnastics unless it was during the Olympics. Your goal was to go to Tokyo in 2020.
“Didn't take you for a gymnastics type of guy.” You replied while attempting to fix your hair that had now fallen out of the bun you put it in. You blamed it on not being tight enough the first time.
“It's entertaining to watch.”
“Hmm, because of the outfits?” You asked as you were trying to feel him out and you could've swore you heard Ja'Marr mutter something under his breath.
“No, I just think it's insane how you can do all those different types of exercises and routines just like it's nothing. You can literally visualize where you're going to land before it happens.”
“It's the same with football when you think about it. You're a quarterback so I can imagine that before you decide where you're going to throw and who you're going to throw to what the end result will be.”
“Something like that.”
“Stop interrogating the man! Sports journalism is her major and she thinks she's smart. So she of course knows all of the players and their stats. I’m convinced she’s going to start memorizing playbooks and try to get on the field with us.” Ja'Marr said as he turned to Joe and you pinched his arm resulting in a yelp as Joe let out a small laugh.
“I'm smarter than your dumbass. That's for sure and are we going to work out or stand here all day? Besides I wasn't interrogating. You can't get to know someone unless you talk to them and ask questions.” You told him as you gave him his headphones.
“I'm ignoring you and what are we working on today?”
“Hmm full body I guess. I already did my legs, back, shoulders and arms this week.” You answered as you shrugged and put in your headphones. Flipping through your phone, you tried to find the perfect playlist in order to get through the workout and hopefully finish strong.
You usually hated working out with Ja’Marr since he would always want to add on something extra at the end of it when you were ready to go home and crawl into the bed.
Joe and Ja’Marr quickly agreed and it was decided that the three of you would warm up by running on the treadmill for three miles before going back to the weight rack.
On your second mile, your music was suddenly cut off by your phone ringing. Looking down you saw that it was Trevor, your boyfriend of one year who happened to play baseball at LSU and that was one of your primary reasons for going there. Also having your brother there was a plus.
Deep down you knew that your brother didn’t like him, but to you he was the best thing since sliced bread and could do no wrong in your eyes. But what you didn’t notice was Ja’Marr glancing over at your phone and seeing it was him and rolling his eyes.
You simply finished out your third mile before going to call him back leaving Ja’Marr there along with Joe who had turned down the speed to a brisk walk as he had done the same.
“I fucking hate her boyfriend.”
“Wait, what? He’s here too?” Joe asked as he was looking around.
“No, I saw that he called her and I’m guessing that she went to go and call him back. I can’t fucking stand him and she could do so much better. But she’s happy and the last thing I want to do is ruin that for her. He honestly treats her like shit from what I’ve seen, but I guess she doesn't see it that way.” He confessed as Joe had his eyes on you as you were standing in the corner. He figured that you were on facetime by the way you were holding it and making gestures with your hands.
“But he makes sure to never do that shit in front of me because I will take his ass down. I’m always going to protect my sister. I honestly wish that she was with someone who respected her and didn’t take her for granted like his ass does. She is honestly the sweetest most generous person despite how much we might bicker and she doesn’t deserve someone who takes her for granted. But you'll eventually be able to see how sweet she is for yourself. She literally lives up under me. When you see me, nine times out of ten she’s not too far behind.”
It was at that moment, you walked back over to them and Ja’Marr could tell that you were visibly upset.
“Pebbles, what’s wrong?” Ja’Marr asked but you simply waved him off.
Ever since you two were about six months old, your aunt on your mother's side started to call the two of you Pebbles and Bam Bam and the nicknames had stuck. It also was no coincidence since your mom used to love watching the Flintstones when she was small just like you and Ja’Marr did.
“Nothing, I’m fine. Let’s hurry up and get this done.” You responded as you felt tears forming in your eyes and you did your best to quickly wipe them away.
“You aren't fine so don't stand up here and lie to me. Did he upset you?”
Joe could now see that he was visibly upset which was in turn making you more upset.
“Don't worry about it, I just want to get this done so I can go back to my apartment and study.”
“If you need me to kick his ass, I stay ready.”
“JA'MARR! NO!”
“And Joe will back me up too. You should see how much he can bench press. No one will know.”
“I… I appreciate both of you very much for offering even though you literally just threw Joe in there without giving him a say in the matter, but I promise I'm good.”
“I'm here for assistance if needed.” Joe said and that put a small smile on your face.
“Yeah about that, show me how much you can bench press.”
“Oh lord, Joe you got her started. Now her competitive ass is going to see if she can beat you. She might be small, but don't let that fool you. She also eats like a grown ass man.”
“Bam Bam, keep talking and I will throw that 60 pound dumbbell at your head.”
The workout was winding down and you wanted to work on your pull ups a little bit more since the upper body was your weakest area. You stood in front of the pull up bar and noticed that Ja'Marr was in the middle of his set, so the only other option was to ask Joe for help to reach the bar since there was no way in the world that you would be able to get up there on your own. But he beat you to it as he walked over to you.
“Need some help?”
“Hmm, definitely yes since there is no way in the world I'll be able to reach it by myself.” You replied as you both laughed.
“I got you. Jump up and I'll lift you the rest of the way.”
Nodding your head, you turned around and felt Joe's light touch on both of your sides. You couldn't quite explain it, but when his hands made contact with your skin, the feeling that it gave you felt unreal. Almost if it was something out of a movie. Shaking it out of your mind, you focused on the task in front of you as you jumped up.
As promised Joe helped you the rest of the way and stepped back once he saw that you were hanging onto the bar.
“Do you mind just standing there to spot me? Pull ups aren't my strongest thing.”
“Yeah, I'll be right here. Go ahead, you think you can do twenty?”
“Hmm, let's find out. I think I can.”
Fifteen of them came with ease and when you started to struggle, you once again felt Joe's hands on your waist and he helped you do the rest of them. You let go of the bar with him then catching you and placing you on your feet.
“Thank you for that.” You told him and you received a cheeky smile in return.
“Any time.”
“By the end of the semester, my plan is to be able to bench press the same weight or more weight than you.” You playfully told him and the smile that he had before became wider.
“I'd love to see that, princess. So let's put some money on it.”
“How much? 50?” You asked not really knowing how much he was willing to put up.
“Nah, you can do better than that.”
“Okay, 500.” You said as you shrugged.
“Damn, I didn't think you would go that high, but okay. Ja'Marr also mentioned to me that since you're the oldest, what you say usually goes between the two of you.”
“He's teaching you well.”
“Hmm, we'll see if that holds up between the two of us.”
“Looks like we just have to see then, won't we Burrow?”
The next day, you found yourself yawning at five in the morning absentmindedly taking small bites of your protein bar as you began to stretch with Erin coming over to sit next to you.
You hated that you had gymnastics practice so early in the day, making all of your classes be in the afternoon or late at night. The campus itself was huge and you didn't always necessarily feel completely safe when you had to walk back to your car late at night.
“So, did you break up with Trevor yet?” She asked as she began to stretch her arms.
“Uh? Good morning to you too, Erin.”
“Good morning, now did you two break up yet?”
“No, Erin.”
She sighed before rolling her eyes and looking at you in disbelief.
“Nobody likes him! Dump his ass! And I don't like the way he treats you. Truth be told, I've never liked him.”
“But I like him!” You exclaimed and she gave you a blank stare.
“Yeah, only you and his bald headed mother. You could do so much better. Oh! Who did you meet yesterday when you went to workout with Ja’Marr? I guess you fell asleep and never read my text.”
“Joe Burrow. He plays quarterback.”
“Oohh, he's cute! I heard about him transferring here. Break up with Trevor and date him! There, problem solved.”
“ERIN!”
“What? You have addressed me by my name a lot this morning. I like my plan and I think it'll work. Besides, he's a sucky ass baseball player. My goal is to get my best friend to become a WAG and being with him is not going to get you very far. He didn't even get a scholarship here. He was a walk-on!”
“I have literally only met that man one time and yeah I've said your name a lot because how do you wake up this unhinged!?”
“So? Love at first sight is an actual thing. I wasn't there, but I know it happened. And it's been that way since we were three.”
“And he did help me with my pull ups yesterday.” You told her as you shrugged your shoulders.
“I'm going to start planning the wedding when we leave. My class doesn't start until one today.” She replied as she smiled at you.
“I…-”
“What are you two going on about over here?” Your other friend Alisha asked as she sat her bag down to the left of her.
“Y/N is getting married to Joe Burrow! We have to start planning!”
“Erin, shut up!”
“Oh, but he's cute. Do you know if he has any brothers?” Alisha replied as she sat down on the other side of you.
“I.. don't but I will find out for you.”
“And slip them my number while we're at it.”
“He helped her during their workout yesterday. At this point, we can say it was their first date.”
“Erin telling everyone's business as usual.”
“Hey! I'm just good at storytelling! And he had the perfect view of your ass if he helped you with your pull ups now that I think about it.”
“Sometimes I honestly cannot believe you're my best friend.” You said as you couldn't contain your laughter anymore.
“And you aren't getting rid of me any time soon.”
Gymnastics practice was always long and draining so you knew what to expect every time. They typically lasted for three hours and when you were finished, you either got breakfast on campus or went back to your apartment to make something as Ja'Marr would also be blowing up your phone to feed him even though he was on an entire meal plan just like you were.
After taking a shower and throwing on some leggings along with an LSU sweatshirt and your converses, you started to walk out the building with Erin since Alisha had to hurry up to get to her class on time, when you spotted Joe.
Of course, Erin noticed too and squealed.
“Ooh, there goes your man!”
“Erin, be quiet! I don't want him to hear you! You are too loud for it to be eight in the morning!”
“Why not? And I'm always loud. I'm responsible for this love connection and I'm going to be the maid of honor. He NEEDS to know me.”
Joe had turned around and once he spotted you began making his way over.
“Oh shit, here comes your husband!”
“I hate you. I hate you so much right now.”
“You'll get over it.” Erin said as she smiled.
“Morning princess. Just got out of practice?” He asked as he came up to both of you.
“Morning and yes. Now I'm going to stuff my face. Oh Joe, this is my best friend Erin.”
“Hey Erin, pleasure to meet you.”
“You too and the pleasure is all mine.” She said and you couldn't help but laugh quietly to yourself.
“I was actually going to get food if the two of you wanted to come with me.”
“Y/N will go! I have class but she is free ALL MORNING. So I'm going to go and Y/N, I'll text you later. Have fun you two.” Erin practically yelled and you looked at her as if she was crazy.
“And then there were two. Where did you want to go to eat?” Joe asked as Erin had started to walk away.
“You're from Ohio, so you need to get a taste of some good southern cooking that makes you feel like you have just gained ten pounds.”
“Lead the way.”
“We're going on a little adventure off campus, my car is just over there. I think you'll like it.”
Less than a mile from campus was Louie's Cafe that had amazing breakfast as well as brunch foods. Anything that you could possibly think of they served.
On the ride over, the two of you just made small talk and when both of you had placed your orders for your food, you wanted to see how he was feeling for his first game that he would be playing in on Sunday because you already knew Ja'Marr was a nervous wreck.
“How are we feeling about Sunday? You nervous?” You asked as you took a small sip of orange juice.
“A little bit and I can admit it. I mean I played when I was in Ohio, but I was the backup. Now I'm actually starting. A lot of pressure on my shoulders and I feel like I have something to prove. I want them to be able to see that they made the right choice.” Joe told you and you were clinging to every word.
“But that's so exciting! What made you transfer here though out of all places?”
“I didn't want to be sitting on a bench for four years. I wanted to be able to play. I know that I'm good, but I just need a chance to show it.”
“Hmm, I do love a man with confidence. Well I'm very excited for you and my brother. I hate how you guys aren't playing here, but I'll make sure I'm watching.”
“Always confident, never cocky. And I'll try to get my first win as a starting quarterback for you.” He responded as he gave you a small smile.
“I can't wait to see it happen so once you get back here, we can celebrate. I can cook, so I can make you something.”
“I've been craving something my mom makes all the time, Snickers Salad.” Joe replied and you looked at him confused.
“Um? Is that an Ohio thing? Because I have no idea what that is.”
Joe nodded as he laughed and your waiter had set your plates down on the table in front of you.
“It is, but I can always text you the ingredients you need to make it. I figured you could do it justice since Ja'Marr never stops talking about how well you cook.”
“You need my number to be able to do that.” You Cheekily said, but he fired right back.
“Mine is in yours, already. I put mine in when we first got here since I want to be able to see more of these special spots you know about.” Joe confidently told you as he was pouring syrup on his banana pecan pancakes that had been recommended by you.
“I've literally only known you now for about 36 hours and I can say that I like being around you.”
“Good, because I like being around you too.”
Just then your phone rang and of course it was no one other than Ja'Marr.
“Pebbles! Are you at Louie's Cafe!?!? And you didn't take me!? I checked your location! I'm hungry too!”
“I took Joe instead because he doesn't get on my nerves like you do.” You told him as you stabbed your eggs.
“WAIT, you took Joe!?!?”
“Yes, say hi. You're on speaker.”
“Hey Ja'Marr.” Joe said as he was trying not to laugh.
“Joe, just make sure my sister gets me something to go. I'm about to starve messing with her ass.”
“I got you.”
“Bye, baby brother.”
“Wait! I didn't give you my order!”
“Text it to me, bye.”
Once you hung up and placed your phone back on the table, you looked back up at Joe to see him staring at you.
“When do you have class?”
“Not until one.”
“You want to do some more exploring with me? I feel that it's now my obligation as your unofficial tour guide.”
“I get to be around a pretty girl so I'm all for it.”
“Joe, you do know that I have a boyfriend right?” You asked as your face heated up.
“Someone as pretty as you, I'm not surprised. But what does that have to do with me?” He asked as he winked at you.
This is the first time in your life that you were speechless.
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okay disjointed thoughts about the wicked movie 1 day after watching it lets go
-first of all, my movie theater put speakers outside and was just blasting the entire soundtrack on repeat. we could hear it down the street as we were driving up. that's just simply insane
-the opening establishing shots of the land were great but honestly. the very clearly animated dorothy and gang really annoyed me lmfao like I'm sorry it cannot have possibly been too hard to get a few extras to stand in front of a screen for point 5 seconds lol. it was so fast that I Know I'm being dramatic about it but they looked more cartoon than the flying monkey's did
-baby elphie and baby nessa are the cutest things I've ever seen in my life...
-I kinda...like the more human/animal hybrids that the stage show and the original movie had. sorry. like I Get they were only like that bc you can't make a real life goat sing and dance but they're just more interesting to look at than normal-looking animals who happen to talk!
-jeff goldblum's face being hidden every time he had a dance number...I have a sneaking suspicion that he wasn't really dancing lmfao
-whoever decided to bleach ariana's eyebrows deserves jail time
-when jonathan bailey first showed up on screen my mother leaned over to me and whispered 'he's HANDSOME...'
-when cynthia finished the 'wizard and I' I had to actually stop myself from applauding. it felt so weird and rude for there to be dead silence after that performance my GOD.
-also omg the part where she's singing about the wizard de-green-ifying her and the colors in the suncatchers were canceling out the green so she looked normal....inspired!
-madame morrible had these HUGE crystal ball looking rings and I just want them so much lmao
-glinda's friends were really funny the bit were she was like 'I need to lie down' and they immediately picked her up like a plank of wood and carried her off while the one was screaming 'WE NEED A PASTRY!!! IT'S AN EMERGENCY WE NEED A PASTRY!!!' had me cackling
-I wish there was more time between them moving in and 'what is this feeling' starting? like I wanted more time to see them bickering and then also more time seeing them getting along after the ball??
-'dancing through life' was BEAUTIFUL however two complaints 1) why would they cut the line 'what's the most swankified place around?' I Quote That Often and 2) at the end when glinda and elphie dance together like...it's beautiful and everything but from what I remember after their solo moment fieryo joins them?? and they have a cute three way dance moment??? and I'm very pro "they're all in love with each other" so I missed that lol
-also just in general would of liked to see more of fieryo with the girls! like it felt like ball->lion cub->emerald city, in the course of a couple days, and idk I just feel like they could have slowed it down a bit?? especially since they broke it into two movies?? like I don't think that Actually all happened in the span of a week, but they didn't do a good enough job establishing how much time was passing so it Felt like it. which is dumb bc then it just doesn't seem realistic that elphie and glinda are THAT attached to each other by defying gravity like it feels like not enough time has passed for them to really know each other
-boq felt very mild tbh I know ethan can be more unhinged than that
-would've liked to see glinda in magic class!!
-I was a little underwhelmed by elphaba's costumes? like there were clearly patterns on the material but it was all the same shade of black so you couldn't make anything out. it felt a bit flat. and I love the idea behind the freckles I agree with freckles I am pro freckles HOWEVER her's looked very obviously drawn on. like, I have seen way more realistic fake freckles before. so that was a bit annoying
-other than the lunchmeat dress glinda's costumes were good! especially loved the flower shaped one she wore to the ball
-the whole trying to escape in the hot air ballon scene was cool as hell but as the flaming remains of it fell to the ground I couldn't help but be like wow...she really just killed all those guards huh!
-also lmfao the bit in the woods with the lion club and fieryo has like a scratch on his temple. genuinely thought to myself 'is that his lobotomy scar' lmfao
-still trying to get over the part in dancing through life where people were dancing on the spinning gears in the clock tower...bitch
-the flying monkeys were correctly horrifying
-when I saw the broomstick I was like 'won't that be really uncomfortable between your legs' but then she just held it next to her like they do in the stage show and I was like....okay I guess you win that one? lmfao like I don't mind it for when she's hovering but when they had her like supersonic zooming on the broom it was weird that she wasn't actually riding it
-overall I just don't understand how it's an adaptation of act 1 but it's the length of the entire stage show?? lmao like I wish they took advantage of the split and added so much more but really really it was still just such a solid great movie. 5 stars. I can't keep talking about it right now I'm gonna start screaming.
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discofama · 9 hours ago
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Was thinking about our Pineses different styles of comedy and I realized Mabel's and Ford's are kind of the same in a way.
Originally was thinking of who of the 4 of them was the funniest for me, and I decided it's Dipper. I can't express how much I've laughed with him. Or more like, AT him, i realized. Unlike the others, most of the comedy that involves him is at his expense. Almost every character thought bad things of him at the very least (including Ford! In his first impressions in Journal 3) and the way he's so insecure and awkward and weird, and that almost everybody bullies him, is just so funny to me. God forbid me lmao.
Stan's comedy is more aimed at how shameless he is with his criminal activities and kind of fucked up stuff he says, like "finally a good reason to punch a teenager in the face!". Most of the times the jokes that involve him are simply funny because they're sudden, mean (him to others, which feeds the kind of humor that involves Dipper and a variety of other minor characters) and/or unexpected of someone as rough as him, like crying at a telenovela. Of course we also laugh AT him many times just like we do with every character, but the fact he is so shameless, unlike Dipper, makes it very different.
Mabel and Ford are funny just because they're both insane and have extremely weird interests. You could say it's also laughing AT them but this feels of a different nature than laughing at Dipper. So i'd say it's more like laughing WITH them, like we usually do with Stan. What's funny (in the strange sense) is that Ford did share Dipper's awkwardness when he was younger, but as far as I remember, it was never played for laughs like it was for Dipper. Mabel and Ford both are reckless, absentminded and go extra on everything, which is very amusing, but they also have a riddiculous taste in everything. For example, Mabel likes toothpaste and Ford likes human blood. Mabel bedazzles her face and Ford sets it on fire. They use grappling hooks and jump out of windows epically. They are shameless too, but while Stan is unabashedly greedy and his comedy usually intentionally harms others or their property, they unabashedly just are their own strange person from start to finish. And the result is pretty funny.
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lillypad-monopoly · 2 days ago
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Wild Life Episode 6 Thoughts
The tone of this episode is shockingly relaxed for how far into the series we are. Almost everybody's chill with each other, which is not what I expected after last episode.
I would kill to see an extended cut of Grian, Joel, and Etho doing a trial chamber together, they're so silly
Grian barely reacting to Skizz's death compared to his screaming over Mumbo's is hilarious. He just knew it was inevitable.
Grian IMMEDIATELY replacing his allies with Gem and Joel and flipping the chairs back up is giving me Southlanders flashbacks.
Martyn and Ren unknowingly made a base that is very safe from this wildcard and I think that makes up for the multiple episodes of it directly contradicting their base plans.
Actually interested to see what this will do to the food supply next ep now that all the animals they started with are gone
I LOVE that team BET is taking turns with the beginning of the episode slideshow. They're just a little dysfunctional group of coworkers and I hope it continues.
Etho treating maintaining his alliances like a husband with multiple families 🤣
Etho, bestie, no one is saying Mount St. Helens is about to erupt and kill us all. That's Yellowstone and it's still probably not going to happen.
Etho trying to get a fishing rod kill in Joel's base feels like unnecessary boat boys flashbacks.
Joel practicing traps for the life series (in creative) in his free time is so very Joel. Like of course he would.
I'm calling it right now Joel is never going to use that trap
I watched the trapped wheat field bit from Martyn's POV first and I totally thought the 4 Gs were bluffing about that. Honestly effective, I wonder if that will go anywhere.
The parrots burning feels like a bad omen for next session I'm going to be so real. Especially considering the situation they ended on, the Bamboozlers are not in a good spot.
Jimmy, Lizzie, and Scar spending the end of their session just chilling in the bunker is so funny. I love when the lifers commit to trying to win over making content /srs
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xotyla · 2 days ago
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consume - lhs (teaser - release date november 28)
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pairing: lee heeseung x fem!reader word count: tbd genre: smut, heavy angst, fluff tags: if you'd like to be tagged you can msg or comment below warnings: plot twists, deranged reader, manipulation, dirty talk, unprotected sex, oral (m&f receiving), pet names (baby, my love, etc), lots of cursing, choking, gag, overstimulation (m receiving), scared heeseung, down bad heeseung, knife play, switch reader, switch heeseung, violence, and more. synopsis: a girl who's out of her mind and heeseung who's in love and down bad for her but needs help. tyla's notes: i dont wanna spoil much but it's going to be very interesting and definitely quite dark.
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When he met Iseul or Rylee, he thought she was incredible. He became increasingly addicted to her, desiring nothing more than to be near and under her. He didn't mind if his friends complained about his spending all of his time with her because she was truly all he needed until he realized what she was hiding behind her stunning smile and twinkling-innocent eyes.
"That girl was all over you, Heeseung, and you did nothing." They've been back and forth on this for about ten minutes. Iseul, like Heeseung, refuses to back down under any circumstances. I told her I had a girlfriend, I swear. She continued to come onto me, and as I tried to push her away, you came. You didn't need to hit her; I had everything under control!" He attempted to justify.
"Yeah, you had it under control? So, under control, you would have ended up in a room with the bitch if I hadn't intervened, and now you're concerned about her? I cannot believe you." Iseul scoffed and shook her head, unable to believe that her own boyfriend was supporting a passed-around chick.
"Really, Iseul? We can't even have a peaceful party because of your jealousy issues." This isn't the first time they've clashed about girls, and he's certain it won't be the last, but it's getting out of control. Everywhere they go, Iseul makes such a bother if a woman even gives him a glance, causing an issue like tonight. "You're just so insecure!" he proclaimed at her. A big mistake.
"Insecure..?" She murmured quietly to herself. The girl burst out laughing, which confused the male. "What's so funny, Iseul?" Her laughter subsided, and she gave him a smile. "Do you think I'm insecure, Heeseung? No, baby. I love you so much that I would do anything for you. You're mine. You only belong to me, and it will always be that way. Do you understand what I am saying?"
Heeseung stared at her, his brow furrowed. He had never seen this. He had never seen this side of her before. That smile was dark, and her eyes were nearly vacant, but she looked up at him in admiration.
Iseul must have found the silence too long. I asked you a question. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"
Heeseung stumbled back somewhat as she approached him, nodding almost frantically. "I understand, seul."
"Good. I'm glad you do, baby." She took a step closer to the boy, who appeared afraid to move an inch, and laid her hands on his shoulders before pulling herself up on her tippy toes and kissing his cheek. "Get some rest, my love," she urged before disappearing down the hall of their shared condo.
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dunmeshistash · 3 days ago
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Greetings, Mr. Meshi!
This is perhaps a bit of an unorthodox question, but one that has been bothering me for an unreasonable amount of time.
Now, here's the thing: I OBSESS over Marcille outliving everyone she holds dear. It's a theme very close to me, but even beyond that I just find it to be one of the most interesting elements of Dungeon Meshi's story for me personally. I've written an embarrassing amount of lengthy essays on it that will never see the light of day - that's how obsessed I am over this specific element of her character. But, there's something that bothers me...
A lot of poignant stories and artworks that tackle this topic get comments on 'em whenever Falin is the subject of aging, each one some variation of "Everything points to Falin having an extended lifespan after her revival!" which... Seems weird to me?
I don't know why this bothers me so much, but setting aside my personal annoyances, I don't remember anything pointing to this at all. At least, nothing concrete.
I don't know if this is a question you'd want to answer or not, but since your blog is a hub for all sorts of opinions and headcanons, I'd love to know where this line of thought could originate from.
I really wouldn't blame you if you didn't answer this question, though. Part of me feels I'm just asking this because I want to see if others share in my confusion or not.
Rrrregardless, though! Lemme take the opportunity to say that your blog is delighful. Love it! Also, that mushroom man with the funny face that sometimes responds to you with lengthy essays is also really cool. Everyone is cool. At least here on the northern hemisphere! It is smack dab in the middle of fall, after all! Coolness all around! Stay frosty! Or don't! Maybe warm up at a fireplace. I don't know!
Hi there! Thank you for the kind words, I love reading other's opinions on what I post so I also love the additions by the mushroom <3
It's quite hot over here in northeast Brazil, send some coolness my way please I'm dying.
Your question isn't strange at all! And I don't mind answering anything (unless it's rude or sounds like shipping war bait) so don't worry.
(Decided to put the rest under a readmore, TLDR: Kui said "maybe so, right?" about Falin having a longer lifespan but I have arguments why I don't think this actually confirms it. Anyway if you're someone who likes the headcanon you might want to skip this post)
To be honest those type of comments bother me too because I also LOVE Marcille's struggle with mortality and sometimes "Falin will live much longer!" feels undermining of the lesson she had to learn. I don't mind it in the headcanon sphere where everything is allowed and happy endings grow on trees but when it becomes intertwined with canon it starts to make me a little disappointed.
Just a reminder of the lesson she has to learn
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She has to come to terms with the cycle of life and death, that something she wants (everyone to live longer) shouldn't be forced upon others just because it causes her grief. So, to me at least, Falin being made into something that will end up outliving other tallmen would undermine the message? In a canon sense ofc, if you're writing a wish fulfillment story then her living longer would have a different meaning, I just wanna be clear I have nothing against it in that sense, it all depends on what story you're trying to tell.
Anyway, actually answering your question that idea comes from the fact she was fused to a Red Dragon, and the fact her body has been affected by it, her sight was fixed and she grows feathers for example, so people theorize maybe her lifespan has been affected too. But we don't really know how long dragon's live so it's hard to say how much it would have been affected if at all.
It also comes from this answer Kui gave in a QnA
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Q: Would Falin have an extended lifespan after the whole chimera thing? A: Maybe so, right?
To me this reads as the usual non-answers Kui gives, like, "I'll leave it up to your imagination" but for other people this read as a confirmation of the headcanon, in another questions she answers "I hope so" about Thistle leading a happy life after having his desires eaten and it's even debatable if Thistle survived at all so I don't think those comments indicate much of canon (I'm that way about most QnA answers tbh, unless it's something inconsequential like confirming Mithrun's Brother's name or stuff about very minor characters)
Another argument I have against her having a different lifespan is Izutsumi, Izu has been mixed with a monster but continues to age at the same rate a Tallmen would, even tho she also has different biology because of the Great Cat she's fused with (ears, reflexes, eyes etc etc) she is still a tallman
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Falin isn't really the same thing as Izutsumi tho, I understand, but it's the closest example we have, if we believe the AB descriptions and demi-humans are really mixes between humans and monsters that's also another argument about it not affecting lifespan, since all of them are short lived and have an average lifespan of 55.
All of this *can* be dissmissed tho, the other demi-humans and beastmen are all mixed with mammal monsters and nothing nearly as powerful as a Dragon, so there is arguments to be made that Falin is different and that she *might* have an extended lifespan, all I'm saying is that there's no solid confirmation of it, it's fine to believe it but going around "correcting" other people saying it's a fact wouldn't be right I don't think, especially if you're saying that in a conversation about Marcille journey of death acceptance.
Death is a touchy subject and everyone is at different stages of their own journeys with it so I really don't want to judge those who would rather have Falin or even Laios live longer. I'm not really sure how to talk about this in the proper way, but I hope I didn't make anyone upset!
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madbard · 1 day ago
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I love shipping characters who hate each other in canon.
I love shipping characters who have had exactly one (1) conversation in canon.
I love shipping characters who have never met in canon.
I love shipping characters from different pieces of media.
It starts off silly. The notion of the pairing is so weird, so unexpected and seemingly dumb that it makes me laugh a little, perk up, look into it and see if this is really a thing.
And then it becomes a joke. Haha, look at this ship I’m shipping ironically, isn’t it silly, it would obviously never work out in canon but I’m looking at it and producing content for it anyway because it’s fun.
But as time goes on, it starts filling my feed. I start thinking about it - really thinking about it. Why did someone put these characters together in the first place? How would they really interact? How did they end up together, and why would they stay together?
What started out as a joke becomes a diving-off point, an opportunity to really think about both characters. The dynamic isn’t canon, so it’s yours to shape. The dynamic isn’t canon, so now you must delve into each character on your own, figure out how you perceive and understand both of them, learn to see them in a different light. What started out as a joke encourages you to dig deeper, think harder, fall even more in love with those characters as you consider the potentials which lie outside of canon, but which ultimately trace their roots through the core of the characters themselves.
Because by their very nature, crackships and rarepairs are not based on plot, and they are not based on canon. They are so seemingly random and odd that they disrupt your typical view of these characters, making you think more deeply about them. The non-canon ships you embrace or reject can inform your perception of these characters on a deep level. They can make you cry just as easily as they make you laugh. They add so much flavor.
And they can also be really, really funny.
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sirwadewilsonfromimgur · 1 day ago
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Deadpool & Wolverine: Scenes from an unconventional marriage.
Pre script authors note: The following was inspired by a few conversations between @icarusredwings and myself, part of which was a scenario that i thought would be funny... if this is your first story reading one of my AUs (first of all. woof, you picked a long one) Secondly. The boys have money, Peter works for them as an assistant and logistics expert. They live in Kansas city because of Wade's crusade against anti-mutant GMO corn... go back and read KoKC for details. Link below.
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Kansas City Missouri Earth-10005 (2031-ish)
When two murderous Canadian mercenaries love each other very much...
Part 1 : paternal instincts.
Our scene opens up where most of our scenes open with this author.
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The 19th floor of 700 W 31st Street Kansas City Missouri.
(the building known to its Tennants as One Park Place tower)
International headquarters of Malfeasance and Fraud Mitigation (Mercs for Money) LLC. And home to Logan and Wade Howlett-Wilson.
And Blind Al don't forget her! And Mary puppens I'll stab you if fucking forget about her. By the way Brace yourself folks this might be a crossover AU one-shot non canonical story.
Wade was talking to himself as usual having left the office after chain smoking a pack of Lucky Strikes and going over Financials with Peter and Althea. The business part of the business of killing was a huge pain in the ass. Logan insisted he take an active role beyond just killing. It was hell on his undiagnosed autism/ADHD.
Fuck Excell, fuck spreadsheets, fuck shopping around for cheaper ammo to save a dollar, this Is a Winchester house we're not buying off brand bullets from eastern Europe!
But it was finally over and he could enjoy the rest of his day. Which he intended on doing as he walked towards Logan sitting on the couch in the livingroom. He had a Nintendo Switch and was playing Mario 3 online.
He'd taken a liking to playing games ever since Laura convinced him to play Smash Brothers with her a few years ago.... Wade loved that he'd picked up what many especially the Wolverine himself would consider an unserious hobby.
he sucked at it, but he was trying to improve. He had recently beat Zelda: link to the past, but he still couldn't beat Laura at Smash Bros. Wade sat down next to him with a thud.
You get all your work done for the day princess? He asked without looking up from his screen.
I did. It was terrible. I hate it. Please don't make me do it again. Wade gently puts a hand on Logans thigh, not necessarily with amorous intentions. It's more like trying to ground himself after a stressful afternoon by connecting with his Wolverine.
Sorry bub, but you gotta learn about the actual business. It'll give you a better perspective before you go spending money. Besides its our company, and it's more than shooting fools. Now, if you gimme a sec I'll find a stopping point. These little fucking turtles have been giving me hell.
Thier Koopas penut, stomping on turtles, would be cruel. As for Al and Peter, they are the best at what they do... and what they do isn't very interesting.
Logan chuckles at Wade's bad joke, turning off his game. You smell like cigarettes bub, you know those are bad for your health. *sniffs* lucky strikes.... you know I remember when lucky strike was a plug tobacco brand (chewing tobacco bound together with molasses the 1870s were a weird time)
That sounds disgusting Penut... also I think smoking is the least of my problems. You didn't have to stop playing your game I just Wanted to be near you. But speaking of, did I tell you I was in a video game once?
Logan was accustomed to this line of thought at this point, they were in a film, a fanfic on Tumblr, a comic book, a novel... a video game was new... he couldn't see the audience, as far as he knew his choices were his own. But he didn't immediately dismiss Wade like he had in the past, because when he said things like this, there was a thread, especially if Wade said something ominous. He knew to clock it and treat the situation with care.
You were? Tell me about it bub. He said this as he pulled Wade onto his lap, feeling the need for a little cuddling while his garrulous lover regaled him with a meandering story... he liked it.
Well Penut it was the far off year of 2013, my voice sounded like Nolan North at the time and not the buttery Ryan Reynolds tones I have today. It was before the Deadpool movies and I didn't have the budget for a Hollywood actor.
Logan shook his head in mock understanding, not understanding what he meant by having a different voice at all.
Anyway, cutting past the tutorial levels, I remember Cable was there, and so we're you. Well, not you, one of you. Ya' know.
Logan gave Wade a little squeeze at the mention of Wade's ex, Cable... something about that guy made him feel possessive, not a normal reaction for a pair that generally regarded themselves as polyamorous. It probably had something to do with him being (this universe's) Scotts son which is a situation that's weird on its face before someone explained time travel to you and once that was done Logan would have to open a whole can of worms regarding trauma of love lost, parallel universes, and his Scott...
he pushed it to the back of his brain as Wade told his story, how he went on an adventure and that other Logan. he even let me fly the Blackbird... this, of course, resulted in disaster... he crashed it, leading in to a light explanation of how his and that Logans relationship was... tense.
Wade went on about traipsing through the ruins of Genosha a totally real place Logan was unfamiliar with...
there was no Genosha or Krakoa in his universe, and by far the largest difference between the world's he'd noted. It was a land populated by mutants that had suffered a brazen attack by humans... a story Logan was all too familiar with. It's a story he's been doing his best to live with. Pulling himself out again he focuses on Wade's story, he'd mentioned a musical number with Lady Death (who was not played by Aubrey Plaza at the time wade lamented) and then discovery that it hadn't been Agatha all along but Mister Sinister at the heart of the problem.
He'd planned on destroying Wade's favorite taco restaurant along with the rest of the world by *checks notes* exhuming mutant bodies to obtain their unique DNA.... or something. It was almost 20 years ago penut so it's fuzzy.
An injustices Wade simply could not stand for. He personally killed several of Sinisters clones in the process of ultimately stopping his evil scheme before confronting him at Magneto's old Citadel where he'd been hiding out...
I squashed him like a bug under the boot of an old Sentinel, Penut! The big purple kind like from X-men 97! Anyway, the credits role and because of licensing issues, the game is only available to play on hard disk, and it's expensive.
Logan nodded his head (again) in tacit agreement with this statement as if he completely understood *he didn't* kissed Wade on the cheek and held him. He was about to suggest that he and Wade go for a walk when Wade jumped off his lap
Oh, Penut! Talking about Sinister reminds me of something!
Wade ran across the room and headed towards the large storage room they kept some sundry items in, the Christmas tree, seasonal stuff and a few boxes of Wade's "crap" that he couldn't get rid of. Mind you this wasn't Wolverines terminology, Wade had written in red crayon on the boxes Crap. Out of curiosity Logan had followed behind him and was standing in the door watching Wade feverishly dig through boxes, opening them taking stuff out and Searching for something.
Amongst the random objects was a furry red doll with a grande attached to it. Logan quickly picks it up.
Wade, why dose this doll have a live Fucking grande attached to it... I thought we agreed all explosives stay at the safe house not the condo!
Oh, tickle me Hell-mo, in fairness Penut I forgot he was even in that box... I forgot what was in a lot of these boxes, trinkets, souvenirs... grenades... apparently. I just knew i didn't want to throw these things away. He rifled through another box as he said this and pulled out a large gray rectangular device with buttons nobs and a small readout display.
FOUND IT! c'mon Penut, I'll clean this up later. I want to show you something. Wade rushed out of the storage room as fast as he'd ran in, Logan followed behind exploding doll in hand. He knew he'd better just entertain whatever it was Wade wanted to show him. Besides, he is kinda cute when he's excited about something.
Ok Princess, what about that box has got you so worked up.
Wade sets it on the marble counter.
Sinister was a sick fuck, and certifiably evil... but he was a brilliant geneticist and created several devices for harvesting DNA... I, lightly acquired a few things.
You stole shit.
I WASN'T PAID! so yeah after killing the fucker FOR FREE and distracting the X-men who conveniently showed up after I did all the work, I rooted around the citadel where he'd set up shop. I took this! He said pointing at the device. He then proceeded to pull out an instruction manual seemingly from thin air and read it out loud.
This device can take the DNA of two or more individuals regardless of gender and re-combine it to make a new life.
Logan was taken aback, not only by the inference that this device could assist them in having biological children together... but because Wade fucking read something out loud flawlessly without having to sound it out...
Bub, you can read today?
I guess so... but I'll probably only be able to write in Mandarin tomorrow. So enjoy it while you can. But to the point at hand, Penut, I want to have your babies. And with this I believe we can... with the help of a surrogate.
Sweet heart (Logan said as gently as possible in an attempt to spare his feelings) I don't think we're ready for kids, especially little ones.
Logan held up the explosive doll as exhibit A for his argument.
Wade responds by just looking at Logan, big comic book accurate blue eyes staring right in to his soul, Logan could see the tears welling up....
Jesus, bub! Stop! You emotionally manipulative little cunt! Logan broke his gaze and looked out the window pretending to be interested in downtown...
Look Princess, I know how badly you want a kid of your own... you told me all about it.
But you've got some steps to take before I consider being a father to a new life with you... firstly who's gonna surrogate? And don't tell me Ness, she's a good friend but that's asking a lot of her and don't be all depressed if she tells you no.
Secondly... and I can't believe I'm saying this... but if you want me to even flirt with the Ideas Wade, we gotta make this house a safe place and... buy one of the units next to us to expand into so the kid has a room... and you gotta get a safe for the guns and a locked case for the swords. we can't have them accessible to a toddler... no more keeping a Glock in the silverware drawer, no more LadySmith revolvers under the couch cushions. No more cocain in the pantry labeled "flour" in mason jars.
Well... that doesn't sound like a No, Penut... or should I say... Daddy?
Logan cringed at Deadpool, calling him daddy in a decidedly nonsexual tone. It didn't sound normal.
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If the Wolverine wasn't sure about this, he probably shouldn't have given Wade a goal with clearly defined parameters...
Wade had hyper focus and devoted himself to baby proofing the condo, weapons secured. Drugs removed (by consuming them, Logan didn't say he couldn't have fun)
He negotiated buying the vacant one bedroom unit that was on the other side of their office walls, blew out said wall, and had contractors built two new large bedroom suites with bathrooms. He installed a Cypher lock on the office door and... yes, the golden girls were behind glass in a locked display cabinet. Something he could punch through should he need to defend the house quickly.
He did this all with his personal funds. Everything was on course... accept finding a surrogate... believe it or not, Vanessa wasn't actually Wade's first choice. He didn't want to ask her to commit to the inconvenience, especially since he didn't want to interfere with her relationship with Dermot... also the touchy subject of asking the woman you wanted to start a family with to hay... help me start a family with my husband it'll be fun! No... Vanessa would be a fun aunt, but he knew he'd have to seek out the services of a professional or something.
They did find an agency that helped them meet with potential surrogates. It wasn't cheap.
A situation that was more complicated than taxes, filing out mountains of paperwork. Then they had to actually meet these women. Money they had... interview skills not so much. Especially when a few walked in, saw Wade's face, and immediately walked out. The best ones screamed, the worst one thought she was on one of those terrible reality prank shows...
Logan despised the nights after such interviews. Holding Wade as he wept.
Logan... what if my own baby thinks I'm scary? What if they don't want to be seen with me or worse they're bullied at school for being the son of a monster... *loud sobs* because it's true, I am a monster. A murderer, a war criminal whose outside is exactly who he is on the inside... a freak.
Logan had gotten Wade to believe him after years when he said he loved him, his scars added depth and character and that he thought his husband was the sexiest man to walk the earth, the void, and the multivers.
But that only applied to him, others... well, given how the interviews went, it was a blow to his ego.... and his mental health. It'd be days before he got Wade to come back out from under his hood or mask. But that was a problem for tomorrow. But for tonight, Wade had entered a shutdown for lack of a betterword... Logan held him, fed him, got in the large shower with him, washed him, and went to bed, tucked in the large bed he held his beloved who had curled himself up in to a ball.
Tomorrow will be better Princess, we'll find the right person, and I promise any baby of ours will love you and be kind. Because that's who you are, really on the inside bub... you forget it. But as long as I've known you, your heart has been in the right place in the end, and you're kinder than I am by a country mile.
The sleep that night was thankfully dreamless for the both of them.
The next morning, Logan made a simple breakfast of eggs and toast for both of them. Putting the bottles of salsa and sriracha near Wade plate... he looked at the clock. 6:30 am
Meaning it was 7:30 in New York. He'd try and give Vanessa a call in half an hour knowing she'd be up by then for sure. He needed to commiserate with someone who understood Wade like he did.
The phone call he had that morning was surprising. He'd let Vanessa know what'd been going on with the agency... and the drama... he was shocked to learn she didn't even know they were considering having a baby.
Wade, didn't tell you?
No Red's not said a word of this to me, I'm honestly confused as to why you goofballs didn't ask me first.
Well, after yesterday, I might as well be the one to ask. Would you consider it Ness?
I... hmmm.... tell you What, this isn't exactly a phone conversation, and it sounds like I need to have a chat with my buddy... I can be there this weekend if you can help a sister out with at ride.
*Logan scoffs playfully* sure I'll have peter send out a G700 to pick you up.
Oooo spoil me, Daddy she retorted.
Logan gaged... gross Ness.
She cackled at getting the old man's goat for a solid minute before they finally wrapped up the call, Logan could definitely see why she and Wade had clicked.
It was another down day, no jobs scheduled, they could afford to take longer breaks and be choosy with contracts. Althea had the money making money with a few business development investments, the purpose of which was to launder money and pay taxes, the fringe benefit being they actually produced a small regular incom. (Please stop talking about the intricacies of the business, haven't I suffered enough!)
A short walk away on the other side of Broadway is the Penn Valley off leash dog park. Mary loved being able to run about and the boys liked that they didn't have to worry about her getting hit by a car... not that it would have affected her for long, but they both knew regenerating is something you'd rather not do if you didn't have to. Wade was indeed tightly tucked into a hoodie hiding his face as best he could. Logan would address that later. They got to the dog park gate without issue, Wade actively avoiding any other people they saw on the way.
Logan unhooked the leash from the ring on her doggy vest, and she was off like a bat out of hell to do whatever it is Dogpools do when they have a whole field to run in. He pulled out a cigar from his pocket case. A Cohiba, a real one from Cuba, smuggled it himself from a job that took them to the Caribbean. He carefully cut the tip with a specialized Xikar cutter, lit the end of a cedar strip, and used the growing flame from it to light his cigar... a lot of ritual for something you literally burn. But Logan found it calming, he also needed one of his strongest cigars to help cover up the smell of the dog park... even if everyone picked up after their dog (they most certainly didn't) the smell was not great for Logan.
We should both probably cut back on the smoking when the babies get here penut... he said this as he pulled out a cigarette... they didn't do much for either of them chemically. Wade just enjoyed the habit, something comforting about it... plus if Wolvy was gonna have a cigar, it made him feel like it was a couples activity. Doing a mundane thing together was one of Wade's favorite things.
I spoke to Ness this morning.
Oh, I hope she's doing well. I need to call her.
I wouldn't worry about it, she'll be here this weekend... Wade, sweetheart... why didn't you tell Ness about our plans, she seemed a little hurt you didn't tell her.
She's traveling a thousand miles, probably to tell me off. I think she's more than hurt if she's coming out here... you know Penut... you said that I shouldn't get my hopes up with her... and I kinda took it to heart... Also I have my own hangups about it... Firstly being how insensitive it sounds on it's face. "Hay Ness, if you and Dermot aren't using it, can we rent your womb? Only 9 months, first month deposit up front!"
But more importantly, for the better part of a decade, Vanessa has been pulled into the misadventures of Deadpool. I love her (platonically). I'm glad we were able to stay friends... but she really doesn't need to get wrapped up in my problems, schemes, and drama... again. Not at my request anyway. A big issue I have is personal, I was going to start a family with her. Asking felt... regressive. But also to the point, her proximity to me has gotten her kidnapped and killed before. I still feel guilty about it.
You also traveled the multivers to save this reality for her, also you traveled back in time and saved her bub.
Aint you ever seen endgame. That's not how time travel works. Somewhere out there, in some other time line, Vanessa is still dead, and it's my fault. This is just a branched timeline.
Since when has the timeline ever made Since bub!
*Loud gasp* PENUT DID YOU JUST BREAK THE FOURTH WALL?
I don't think so, bub... I don't see the people, but I remember you trying to explain how the "other me" time traveled in 2014, and now there aren't Sentinel's running death camps. That the timeline changed and converged.
This is no different Princess, don't think about it too hard, you said. So I'm telling you the same thing. Don't fret about it bub, Vanessa is alive... and she will be here Saturday.
You're too good for me, Penut. I Don't deserve you.
No, you don't... he said as he picked a small plastic bag out of his pocket. You literally stole me. But I love you anyway. Now go pick up the massive shit Mary just took. I refuse for us to be the kind of people who just leave it.
Wade took the bag.
It's probably Stockholm syndrome Penut.
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Vanessa arrived Saturday afternoon, in a Falcon 900LX. It was the best Peter could arrange on short notice... not that Vanessa knew the difference between a G700 and a Falcon, she was just happy not to be on Southwest. Dermot was with her... the man was almost the antithesis of Wade, He liked Hiking and he was quite to the point of being accused of being shy. Dry witted... and as he'd recently discovered when he went to the gun range with the boy's last 4th of July... a lousy shooter. But he was stable, kind, and good-natured. Definitely willing to go along to get along with a lot of Wade's antics at parties. He knew why Vanessa had come, and he was perfectly fine with it. It didn't interfere with his plans at all. He was a slow burner and Vanessa hadn't indicated she was in any hurry to tie the knot. But that's a story for another time.
Wade had gone the extra mile to spoil them. A black limousine complete with champagne greeted them on the tarmac and whisked them off to casa de chaos.
She walked in the door like she owned the place, dropping her bag by the door. She walked to the dining room table and sat...
Come over here and sit with me boys. We got a lot to talk about and I'd like to waste no time getting down to business.
Oh, so direct. Wade said in a catty tone high enough to indicate he was joking as he winked
We're gonna gloss over the fact that you didn't involve me with your family planning from the start... but I hear you've had a hard time landing a surrogate. she cut eyes at Wade as she said this. Wordlessly airing all of her hurt feelings and grievances regarding not even being told Wade and Logan were trying to have a baby. Something one would think a best friend would be told
I'd like to make an offer. On the condition that despite you two being my best friends... I aint doing this for free.
Oh, if that's the case Ness then you gotta interview like all the rest. He said this in a joking tone but she didn't miss a beat.
Ok Red, I've been substance free for over 20 years, I don't smoke. I promise not to drink or eat selfish for the entire pregnancy, and I'm one of two people in this room who've seen you naked and didn't require drugs and therapy after.
Yeah... my dick dose look like a peperoni somone forgot in the air fryer.
And your sack looks like someone took a crown royal bag, filled it with puss, and ran it through the middle of a hog pin.
Wade smiles. And laughs a little...
Ok, Ness. you got the job.
Great, I knew you'd see it my way. She proceeded to write a number on a piece of paper and slid it across.
That's my price. Also, Dermot and I are gonna be long-term hous guests for obvious reasons. Convenient since he can do his job remotely....
Wade looked at the number, showed it to Logan, and smirked... I think the both of you could retire for this much money... but nothing is too good for my baby. I am going to have to kill several people for this.
Bub, we might have to overthrow a government.
Pff like that's something new.
Lucky you Ness, you get to be the first person to stay in one of the new rooms... and tangentially responsible for a potential war crime! He grinned like the devil at her
---
Shortly after the contract was finalized, Vanessa and Dermot moved in, and it was a short trip to New York... the boys provided a sample and Mister Sinisters machine to Dr. Henry McCoy... who was fascinated by the whole thing (he later wrote an entire dissertation on it) he helped with the procedure... the result of which was one Vanessa Carlysle pregnant with the Biological child of the combined DNA of Deadpool and Wolverine...
The following 9 months went surprisingly smoothly (apart from one small incident with a serial killer, but that's a chapter in the Noir, we will worry about it later)
The day came... Vanessa went into labor, early in the morning. Thankfully, it seemed like it would be free of complications. meaning that Wade and Vanessa both got their wish for thus day. The baby was born at home.
Wade had an aversion to hospitals. Bad memories of cancer diagnosis, and a general fear of strange men in white lab coats. Not every man mind you. He was cool with Beast and other people he knew personally and he knew a few scientists and doctors... Logan wasn't averse to hospitals apart from the smells of disinfectant and illness mixed together. Vanessa was a bit new age for her justification, why bring life into the world in a place so many go to die, on top of it being uncomfortable, and expensive.
As a result, the midwife was called arrangements were made and the new life was soon ushered into the world. They say history doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme. Like his father Logan, who was born at home to an affluent family in a room where he'd spend his childhood, this baby was born in the penthouse of a tower to affluent parents in a room he'd inhabit well in to his 20s.
Vanessa wasn't in labor long. No birth is a walk in the park, but she would tell you it was pretty easy and without drama compared to others. She pushed one last time, and he was out. Vanessa did get the honor of holding him first after the midwife cleaned him up... Logan couldn't resist the urge; the umbilical cord was carefully cut with an adamantium claw blade. He had been offered a scalpel for the record.
Hay there, little guy... it's a pleasure to meet you.
She held him for 5 minutes before she called Wade over.
I know someone who's been waiting a very long time for you... I think it's time you should finally meet him
Vanessa handed the tiny bundle to Wade, who had whipped off his shirt the second Vanessa called him over. I read that skin to skin contact was beneficial to the baby. he'd said as he carefully supported the babies head and neck and brought him in closer to his chest.
Welcome to the world... I apologize for the state of it, but I have indeed waited a long time to meet you, little guy... I'm Wade, but please call me dad. Your other dad over there is the Wolverine, that makes you my Kitten. I promise you I'll do the best i can being your father. Please don't judge me too harshly.
Babe, get over here and take your shirt off.
If I had a dollar for every time you've said that to me.
So what should we name him...
You didn't think of a name already!
Logan said it was bad luck *shrugs*
But at least we got the last name sorted Howlett-Wilson 👌
Bub, hyphenated names are a pain in the ass... its not a problem for us because we rarely use our real married name for anything official... let's just give him your last name.
Wade scrunched his face with a little distaste...
Wolvy he's our baby. He should have something from both of us... I mean, besides our mental illness... that's a given.
Tell you what princess; how about we Name him James. It was my name... once, but I don't use it anymore. He can have it.
His middle name however was a much longer discussion... mostly because Wade offered several typical Deadpool options that Logan Veto'ed outright.
Thunderdick! No. Skullcursher!? God, no. James MAGNUM Wilson! That's terrible Wade...
It went on for a minute before Vanessa finally chimed in. Evan... I've always liked that name.
Well, it's a normal name. So I like it.
Works for me, Penut. Though it'd be a lot cooler if it was Danger... but that's my middle name.
Your middle name is Winson.... idiot!
Part two: the Life and Times of James E. Wilson (hope you like crossover AUs)
James's earliest memory is his father, Wade holding him, comforting him... but also crying. He vaguely remembered being at the playground, running and jumping as most toddlers do... tripping on something and skinning his knees on the sidewalk... he naturally had the reaction of crying from the pain and surprise... it wasn't until James was much older that he understood why his dad kept mumbling why aren't you healing?
It's ok, dad... you don't need to cry. I already feel better.
Even at a young age, he felt compelled to comfort someone else. To help. It broke him out of thinking about his own problems, including skinned knees...
The result of this little accident was Wade panicking. They went back to the house and grabbed the dog and his other dad. Papa (or the big bad wolf if James was misbehaving) no amount of reasoning or comments from Logan couldn't stop him or calm Wade down.
Logan Howlett-Wilson get your ass in the car and drive us to the airport right now! Were going to the Mansion to see the fucking doctor RIGHT NOW!
Logan got the message, Wade didn't forgo pet names unless he was bone chillingly serious in intention and resolve. So within minutes, they were on a jet to New York. Where James met a fuzzy blue man he liked very much despite the blood draw. That was uncomfortable, but he found the lab he was in fascinating... weather or not, this influenced his future career he couldn't fully say. But probably a little.
The news delivered to the... not so young, but definitely, new parents was not stellar... Hank had run several tests and analyzed James' DNA structure. He possessed the X-Gene, but it was dormant due to being recessive. Much like Wade he'd have to undergo profound trauma to activate it. There was no guarantee he'd come out the other end with a healing factor. It could be anything... furthermore, it was highly unethical and unthinkable to subject a child.... Wade cut him off
I know a lot of people don't think highly of me. But how fucking dare you assume I'd even entertain the idea of tormenting my child.
Easy bub, I don't think Hank was implying anything. Ya' know he gets lost in the hypotheticals. Right Hank!?
The blue man nodded in agreement.
We will just... have to be extra careful.
Wade picked James up. C'mon soldier. There's a big metal doofus ya gotta meet.
---
One particular afternoon James was sitting in his office recounting some memories with his friend Gregory. Though they had a habit of referring to each other by sir name. Wilson and House
(what a twist)
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The day the two met was actually one of the few points in time that if you knew who his parents were you'd say "oh yeah, that is clearly the offspring of Deadpool and Wolverine" it was at a medical conference in New Orleans. Wilson dosn't remember the exact circumstances he'd been drinking but his father's tempers came out of him as he'd threw punches and generally effectively kicked ass at a bar brawl (Wade would have been so proud) House ever the shit stirrer jumped in and backed him up. Truly his fathers son, meeting your best friend as a result of incredible violence... in a bar.
House had actually just finished telling Wilson about his most recent case, yet another patient that had been previously misdiagnosed as having lupus. It was Hashimoto's disease if you're curious. The interactions he'd had with the patient made him think she'd been being neglected, bare minimum socially isolated... he recognized his own surliness in others. It resulted in a dressdown of her parents that he was certain would result in an office visit with Cuddy and detention after school.
High-school wasn't a fun time for Gregory...
You know it wasn't exactly fun for me either.
From the age of 11 to the time he left for med school, he was escorted by armed gaurds to and from school. Growing up in Kansas city, he'd gone to Pembroke Hill School, a private school that specialized in STEM that's tuition cost as much as a new car annually... he was one of only two kid's that went to that school that arrived with a security detail, not however the only one that arrived in a limousine. The other kid was the child of Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift. They weren't friends... he didn't really have friends.
Aww poor little rich boy
House chided at him
At least you didn't get shoved into a locker...
Which was true. He didn't have friends but he didn't have enemies either. The closest thing he had to a best friend was his Grandma Al and Mr. Yoshitomi his driver/lead bodyguard. he was allowed to call him Yoshi...
The man was clearly retired Yakuza, and like his father Logan, tough on the outside but secretly a teddy bear. The truth is Wilson found himself alone at home, too. Apart from Al... but she mostly sat him down in front of a TV and fed him before going outside to smoke...
so apart from weekends, he was alone. Occasionally, he'd see his big sister Laura. She was frequently busy herself being the "official" Wolverine of the Xmen. He liked it when she brought him comics, fictionlized accounts of the adventures of his dad in the past, and his big sister... he knew his dad's loved him. No one could argue that... but What had started as two lovers in New York trying to make rent money by doing the only thing they were good at; picking up random jobs on the dark web (Killing mostly) in the mid 2020s morphed into a private security firm in Kansas City that rivaled Black Water and the (fucking) Pinkertons by the 2040s.
They were busy, and it did provide him a comfortable life without student loans. But from 11 to 18, it was him Al and what had to be the world's oldest dog. She's still alive, actually. The dog loved him and was rarely not by his side when he was home (because all deadpools love their babies) Althea however was not, she was a chain smoker and heavy drug user until the day she died.
how that woman lived to be 115 is fucking beyond me
She lived long enough to see (metaphorically) Wilson graduate medical school. It was the last time he'd seen her. He moved away and started his residency in New Jersey. Wade had sent a private plane as well as several veiled threats to the Dean of medicine at the time to ensure Wilson had the time off to attend the funeral.
Wilson... I gotta ask, why did you have armed guards?
Oh! Funny story when I was 10. I was kidnapped once
(Exactly once I made sure of that)
It's true. He was heading home from school. He made it to the driveway of the tower he called home when some very ill-informed gangsters decided to kidnap the son of a rich man... they didn't do their resurch as to who's kid exactly, just figured they'd get a ransom...
In fairness on paper Wade and Logan weren't Wade and Logan, they were two random dudes who ran a lucrative business and weren't shy about showing off.
This leads to probably the second most traumatic memory Wilson had... not necessarily the kidnapping. Thwy had actually treated him surprisingly well.
What shocked him was seeing his father Logan covered in blood kicking down the door he'd been kept in. He'd never seen his father in the tight yellow and brow suit before. Or the mask... he had taken it off when he clocked James but that only made it worse. The entire bottom of his father's face was coated in blood, like he'd gored a man (he actually had ripped open one of the gangsters throat with his teeth) the blood was cut clear with two rivulets of tears. What James didn't know is they were tears of joy seeing his son, and tears of relief. Because if anything had happened to James the Genocide he and his husband were going to commit in response would have made his incident in his own universe look like childs play.
---
Rebellious teenage years years were impossible. You couldn't steal weed from your blind grandma and hid it in your room, not from the nose of the Wolverine.
Do you know what this shit dose! It makes you fucking stupid is what it does, and your dad and I aren't raising a fucking idiot!
Logan never hit him. But he was scary when he yelled and loud... if he was really pissed those claws popped out. Never an actual threat but fucking scary.
It wasn't the worst childhood, and it wasn't a bad life. Wilson became an oncologist partly because he was fascinated by his own father. The man who's cancer actually kept him alive. He had success, failures... it's like his dad said "what dosn't kill you makes you bad at intimacy kido" 3 ex wives later he finally understood what he meant by that.
All the events of his life that you know about that happened on the show. They happened. The only difference is that he went home to Kansas City for the holidays. Where he'd see his seemingly ageless father's and sisters. He loved his family Logan, Wade, Laura, and Ellie (we'll talk about her in another story.) Which is just as well. He never had children of his own, and after your 3rd failed marriage, you kinda give up on the idea of expanding your family. But until his dying day his dad dotted on him. And bragged, boy did he brag especially to the Xmen when he had a chance to rub in their face his son the successful Doctor! (Suck on that Jean!)
But for Wade, the day did finally come that his immortality became a curse... with every Christmas, Thanksgiving, and spring break that came, James got older. Wade was at his retirement party, He remembers loving Dr. House's wildly inappropriate speech and toast. A man after his own heart, but after the laughter subsided, he realized that his boy, who was graciously receiving a gold watch, had lines in his face and gray hair.
The years kept coming... Wilson got older, he got sick... and his mortality came to pass.
If the universe brought these starbound lovers together for any particular reason. It was for this moment, Wade loved two things Intensely, his Wolverine and his children... but the Death of his first son broke him. Logan clinged on to Wade physically and emotionally. Doing everything he could to hold him together. It was many years before Wade could be called Ok. It was another couple hundred years before he even considered the idea of raising more children.
It should be noted that James was the only one to be fully genetically Logan and Wade's. He was special, one of a kind.
Wade carried a portion of James's ashes with him in a small locket around his neck where it stayed for countless millenia. In dangerous situations he'd even cut himself and put it under his skin so it wouldn't get lost...
Epilogue:
The lady at the end of the road sits in her ethereal other world. Surrounded by various time keeping devices dimly lit by candles flames that don't consume. She pulled out a pocket watch and a ledger. She had an appointment to keep. This one was a special case. The dark lady had the power to send out shades, to be everywhere at once. But this appointment she'd handle directly. She carried out her appointed task kindly but usually without emotion. She was inflexible and didn't bargain or despite what you may have heard play chess or gamble for time or souls....
Wade was there... hospice care was set up about a week ago, and he sat by James side as the ravage of time and biology took its toll. By regular human standards Dr. James Wilson lived a good life, a long life at that. He was 97 years 6 months 2 weeks and 5 days old the morning she came. Logan had been with him the entire night before Wade had taken his shift early that morning so Logan could get some sleep. At about 10 am in the guise of a hospice nurse, she walked into the room, Wade was no fool. Only one person still alive (if you could call her alive) looked like that... He knew why she was there. He hadn't seen her in a very long time.
I see we're sticking with the Aubrey Plaza look... tears started welling up in his eyes. He looked at James in the bed beside him Despite looking down at the face of an old man, Wade still saw his baby. His son.
I thought you'd like this look, it's definitely more pleasant than most. If it's any consolation, Wade... I'm sorry I have to do this.
I haven't seen you in over 100 years. Not even the times I've died lately. Haven't seen you since the time I jumped out of an airplane into a volcano after Vanessa dumped me. Now you show up! I know why you're here.
The tears were streaming down Wade's face. Hot on his cheeks, his eyes red. He looks at her pleadingly.
Please, take me instead. Please, Lady Death. Leave my baby alone. Please, I beg you, take me.
Oh, Wade... My love. It has caused me great sorrow to not see you all these years. But don't you know? I can't take you even if I wanted to. You and Logan have woven yourself in the fabric of the universe. You and him are part of Eternity. I can't take you only, Entropy can take you. probably shortly before he takes me... even death has a death.
I know this is hard. I beg you to forgive me... but it's James's time to go. But because I love you. I waited as long as I could, he should have passed before you woke up this morning. But now you have an opportunity to say goodbye...
She moved to the bed and touched James's hand. He sat up and looked at his father.
Why are you crying, dad?
He stood up, out of the bed. Wade jumped out of his chair and embraced him tightly.
Oh, my sweet Kitten. Im so sorry. Please forgive your old man.
Wade sobs for a while before he can talk again...
I remember the day you were born... I loved you, I held you. I swore I'd burn down the world to protect you... but I can't protect you anymore...
Dad, I Don't understand. What's going on.
That's unfortunately my job to explain... but it'd be easier to show you...
She points at the bed; James looks down and to his surprise, he sees... himself. Drained of color, unmoving.
Dr. James Wilson, you have lived your life in service of others. A life well spent. But now is the time to leave that life... I'm sorry
Dad, you don't have to protect me anymore. It'll... it'll be ok.
Kitten... I love you, and though I desperately want to rage and fight and yell to keep you here longer... it's not the right thing to do. My friend here gave me an opportunity few have. I'm going to take it instead of throwing it in her face.
I love you...
I love you too Dad.
Wade hugged his son one last time, kissed him on the cheek, and led him by the hand to Lady Death.
Can... can Logan say goodbye, too?
I'm sorry Wade. I've already pushed the limits of the rules to extend this opportunity to you. I'm afraid I can't
Ok...
He looks up at James.
Your father and I will miss you. Honeybadger loved his kitten as much as I do.
I know, Dad... I know. I want you to know that I had a good life. I'm at peace. I don't want you worrying about me.
You silly boy. It doesn't matter if you're 9 or 97. I was always going to worry about you.
Lady Death extended her hand out to James.
It's time... I'm sorry, but don't be sacred. I promise where we're going isn't bad. It won't hurt.
James took her hand, and slowly took his other hand out of his father's grasp... turned and looked at him.
I love you. You were the best dad. I guess now is the time. Goodbye.
I could have been better, I'm sorry. I love you....... James... it... it might be a while before I see you again... goodbye. I'll always love you, kitten.
They walked away from Wade out the bedroom door. Wades heart broke into a million pieces as they turned to go down the hall. There was a flash of light... and he was gone.
The End.
If fan fics had credits. This would be the closing song. It is special to me... I myself would like it played at my funeral.
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Below is a translation into English. Be sure to give the user who provided it a ❤️
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