#at least not every single day
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whatever happens, please don’t break
#god not a fucking DAY goes by where i don’t think of that one interview and this quote#does anybody have it word for word? please? i’ll pay you#literally every single time i think about how kunikida as w character was MADE for dazai. specifically to share his suffering#i actually sob into my hands because that means they were both destined for tragedy together and the long dark road they will walk#will at least not be lonely. because they have each other. they are each other’s light in the darkness.#DO YOU UNDERSTAND#bro the fact that kunikida is painfully aware of the imperfection of the world and how he still continues to fight for his ideals#paralleling dazai who finds humanity beautiful but cannot become attached bc he feels alienated from emotion#THE WAY THEY COULD HELP EACH OTHER????? SICK SICK SICK I AM SICK#i love kunikidazai sm i wish more ppl could see the potential#but some of you aren’t ready for the sheer perfection of their dynamic#also i’ve noticed that i am only capable of drawing dazai properly when it’s with kunikida what’s up with that 💀#and sorreyy i know their height difference isn’t THAT big but i didn’t realize until i was halfway into the coloring 😔💔#osamu dazai#dazai osamu#kunikida doppo#doppo kunikida#kunikidazai#knkdz#kunizai#lotus draws
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im still applying for jobs, ive applied for state assistance as well but theyre taking their time with approving it. i have bills coming up soon, at the very least i need enough to pay my electric bill bc theyre threatening to shut it off 😬 if anyone has anything they can spare itd be greatly appreciated. im transmasc and i have no family to rely on for this kind of thing. i also have commissions available, dm me for info
vnm: tobias_leviathan
pp: paypal.me/bewearr
thank you 🙏💕
#idk what the secret to applying to jobs is but something is fucked up lately and i cant even get a stupid fast food job#ive applied to so many and got rejected by all of them or just straight up ignored#and thats WITH calling every few days to check up on it#i get either ignored or sent to a bot that just tells me to apply online or the manager has no clue whats going on#ive applied to at least 50 jobs this month and last month not a SINGLE one has given me the time of day#ive been to 4 interviews and got a few callbacks but theyre all dead ends#i dont know what to do anymore. ive been focusing hardcore on art so thats something but ive been working on my backlog and not making money#im just so frustrated and hopeless idk what to even do anymore. ive signed up for temp agencies even and they never have any jobs#its stupid that i HAVE a job but they refuse to give me hours. this is genuinely worse than being unemployed
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I really really really love the dichotomy between Skadi being the strongest person on Terra that killed an actual god and then Skadi being the world’s biggest struggler. She’s a sopping wet sad little puppy of a woman who can also cleave through armies with a sword that’s longer than she is tall without breaking a sweat
#she’s going through it and will continue going through it until the day she dies#and even then her body might turn into the vessel for the very god she killed to conquer the world#the universe will not give her a single break. well. it gave her Laurentina back. so there’s that#at least she can have some moments of downtime getting covered in shark bites before facing the horrors every day#arknights#Skadi#abyssal hunters
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I clasp my hands and pray to a god who will not listen
(my re-paint of Alexandre Cabanel's "The Fallen Angel" with one of my characters)
#it's like a rite of passage to do this painting with your character I think#it's one that people have been Expecting me to do at least#it's extremely beautiful#the betrayal#how every muscle in his body is clenched#how he is not even allowed his clothes after being cast out#and so he must hide. among the rocks and the leaves and the thorn#not allowed a single Holy Thing to touch him#and still. he prays#ugh.. I love this painting so much it's wonderful#well worth spending two days on it honestly#fucking. god. I love it so so so much#anyways..#zagan#illustration#digital illustration#art study#digital art#my art#ocs#my ocs#we were legion#religious trauma#religion
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kim seokjin, according to @aprylynn happy birthday apryl! ♡♡♡
#aprylynn#bts#btsedit#btsgif#dailybts#btsdaily#jin#seokjin#kim seokjin#dailybangtan#userbangtan#trackofthesoul#usersan#heyryen#annietrack#userpat#tuserandi#raplineuser#userdimple#rjshope#ksjedit#***#!!!!!!! happy birthday queen apryl !!!!!!!!#i just wanted to do something for you since you've done so much for me with your kindness and your support#and you deserve all the nice things in the entire world#and while i try to find all those nice things i can at least give u jins face u kno#and i had to use ur iconic tags bc you always make me laugh every single time i go thru my notes#ur just like me fr fr ur always in my brain i swear ;o;#ANYWAYS !!!!!! i hope u have the best day and i hope you are loved and cherished and that you get yummy treats and lots of presents#and are surrounded by people that love you and adore you uwu
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one thing I think a lot of people don’t understand about the crowdstrike outage is that this wasn’t a freak accident. the only thing notable about it was a scale, and this is just the beginning
like sure, many businesses do things to mitigate the risk of this type of thing like production controls, release schedules, QA, staggered rollouts, etc. but these mitigations just lessen the impact of these thing when they happen. and they do happen. constantly.
CEOs and the board members behind them demand new, complex, revenue generating, features from overworked and underpaid developers (often in exploited nations) who build whatever they can by the deadline and push it to QA.
QA has been cut and what hasn’t been cut has also been outsourced and when testing code that is rushed, there are bound to be a lot of issues. when you don’t have the manpower to test each change exhaustively or the man power to fix seemingly ‘non-impactful’ bugs identified by the QA engineers before pushing to prod, they pile up over time. everything seems to work fine on the surface, but the issues are still happening.
following the trend of lean staffing, production support is absolutely bare bones. the $1M salary tech bros are not developers anymore— they’re security specialists or product managers. the people who actually identify and fix problems make a fraction of the salary and do the work of 6 people and are highly discouraged from fixing or improving anything that doesn’t have an immediate impact on the user base or that doesn’t lead to increased revenue generation.
and not enough people to develop, not enough people to test, not enough people to fix, leads to a janky code base that only survives on luck and goodwill. as the tech bubble continues to burst— with venture capital drying up for tech companies who were never going to be profitable— the people doing this work are only going to get more overburdened.
the small things add up and you never know when an update is going to cause the whole thing to come crumbling down because 6 bugs that were identified and backlogged as ‘low impact’ happened to work together to take your server offline when an update to patch a security vulnerability gets pushed out.
anyone who’s working in tech is familiar with the way these companies are managed. not to position myself as an industry expert, but after working at tech startups in the SaaS space for the last 7 years, I’ve watched this happen (and personally cleaned up) at least 4 times.
I expect that we will continue to see different outages with widespread social and economic impact that will eventually lead the tech bubble to collapse entirely as investors flee en masse to escape the “increased risk of tech industry start ups”.
#when I was in support we had a 3 day outage that affected every single customer#there have been at least 3 other occasions with a similar impact.#and these are companies with 1k or less clients. imagine how much higher the stakes are at companies with hundreds of millions of active#users#tech#crowdstrike
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Luzu: [Spots a baby zombie running at them] NOT– NOT ON MY WATCH, AND IN FRONT OF PHILZA! No!
Phil: Thank you Luzu, you scared him away, look– he was running so fast! [Etoiles and Phil laugh] Good job, good job, good job.
Luzu: I told you– not on my watch, dude.
Phil: Thank you, thank you king, thank you.
#Luzu#Philza#Phil#QSMP#Etoiles is also there (and so is Chayanne) but they're not really featured so no tag for them#February 6 2024#I thought for sure I posted this but I hadn't!#Every single day I cry over Luzu and Phil and the absolutely missed opportunity for them to become better friends#They still think fondly of each other at least
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Congrats, now all I'm going to be able to think about all day long is Chifeng-zun being stunned into silence by the sight of Meng Yao's braids, the same as if he had never left. His hand reaches out and clenches in mid-air, while Jin Guangyao stands shell-shocked and panicking, or blissfully oblivious to how Nie Mingjue's world is tilting on its axis. He could be mad, the rage that almost let him call the Unclean Realm home making Hensheng thrum: because what right does Nie Mingjue have to want him now, when he finally has a place he belongs? And why does want to quit it all for him?
Anyway, now you can share in my brain worms~
In that moment, something was communicated
unfortunately, neither knew exactly what it was
#i'm right there with you anon i'm constantly rotating these two in my head#mdzs#jin guangyao#nie mingjue#nieyao#jgy#nmj#perpetually obsessed with jgy's nie braids#''i am going to the effort of - every single day - doing up my hair in a way that directly reminds me of you. which very directly ties me t#you and your family. and then i am covering it up completely to ensure that no one - least of all you - will ever know they exist.#and then i'll take them out and do the exact same thing tomorrow. i hate you. i fear you. i want you dead. i will continue to do this.''#hi what does any of that MEAN#what does it MEAN meng yao???#and lord knows that nmj would never know. does jgy actually do it just for himself? if so what does that mean?#or did he do this with the INTENTION that nmj should ''accidentally'' see them? and if so what does THAT mean?#is this real? a ruse? if the latter how many layers deep does it go? is it worth figuring out? or is it easier just to get angry?#i feel so normal about it#what would he do if something dislodged his hat and nmj actually saw them? no idea but i want to read 100 fics with that premise#and see every possible permeation#my art#i'm not sure why i felt like going with this black and white style but i haven't done anything like this in years so it was fun#normally i do them with actual markers so this was honestly relaxing like easy mode
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women <3
#i need everyone to know that this is about the AFLW#and every single day since the 2023 szn started (and ended) jay your-mighty-words-astound-me has rb'd this at least twice a day#legend
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what if i was a bunny 🐇
#ouppy#everyone here fuckin hates me n no one else's talked to me in days rlly. at least im pretty but yall still hate me anyway right?#i fucking hate dissociating to games bc tumblr hurts too much since every single person ignores me. all of u ever idk who i can eveb#talk to now if i could#bc everyone left and wont remind me#but im hot 😇
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es rarepair week 2024 day 3 | hobbies/wedding
(still hasnt recovered from their updated profiles voice) hey so dont you think its rly funny and kinda cute illustration is one of midos specialties and yet these incomprehensible chickenscratch doodles are some of his favorite things in the world
#tried to kind of emulate the enst artstyle a bit there but i cant say it ended up too well amgskjdshgd#es rarepair week 2024#minicomic tag#duck scribbles#doodles#midoyuzu#yuzumido#enstars#im not gonna do every single day in the week bc my wrists are crying. but i want to do at least half if i could....#looking forward to tomorrow :>#probably the last time i can draw these two for this week since rn their amount of fics is like. exactly 50 ajdskgdhsghd#i remember there being like only 14 when i first got into it........... crazy
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i never posted the finished piece?? this is the actual first pmd fanart i ever did (before i got into oc making lol). dated december 2023.
sorry dusknoir hadn’t entered the polycule on my mind by the time i made this btw. maybe someday i’ll redraw this with him too. that would make it the redraw of a redraw as this is already redraw of art i found on an AMV from like 2011 hahajsjs
#my art#pmd eos#pmd explorers#pokemon mystery dungeon#pmd2#grovyle#celebi#pokemon#they had a ship name that i cannot recall rn! oh well#this was my first attempt at drawing pokemon after i was like. i want to say 11 but maybe i was 12.#i really liked pokemon at that time bc of friends then we had a falling out and my love for pokemon kinda left as well?#idk i sold my alpha sapphire copy which i regret every single day. anyways.#maybe growing up is just going back to old interests but less afraid now? idk#<- not quite im just oversimplifying how growing up has felt. at least for me#it’s almost a year since december 2023. i have been unwell about pmd for almost a year now. what.#bc i started my playthrough in like august or october of last year but i got around to finishing the entire game in january i think. woagh
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i know vet prices are out of control expensive but it's because the world is expensive, not greed, and so every time i encounter someone complaining about it in bad faith i want to grab them by the hands with shaking, sweaty desperation and say "on average human nurses are paid 30-50 dollars an hour. vet techs, who are nurses of every department and every specialty and also janitors and mma fighters, are lucky to break minimum wage."
#my conviction has changed the hearts of at least 3 finance bros over the years#I'm always like. eye contact. this is how hard i work every single day and this is how much money i make. make it make sense#and nobody can#m2a#vet tech#work stuff#nurses of course deserve higher wages too we should all be fucking stacked I'm just saying people don't think of us the same way
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3000 posts!
Alright tumblr, call the team out for being on tumblr too much. It’s valid
#3000 posts#tumblr milestone#It ain’t a lie#We post at least thrice daily every single day#And often much more if we’re answering asks#But oof#At least we can say we provide that promised daily bear programming#Sticking to the bearotonin international company mission and promise:#Daily bear programming to make your life bearable
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"I pray we meet again."
#my art#ffxiv#endwalker#emet selch#hythlodaeus#wol#waaaaah i'm so glad i finally drew this ToT#honestly i'm not a fan of ultima thule part of ew#(the music was GREAT tho)#but holy shit THAT SCENE with these two HOOOOLY SHIT#i still feel tears in my eyes when i remember about it#but it's so unfair that the wol didn't even say A SINGLE WORD to them#=_____=#didn't even nod#at least in my drawing they can hug T^T#i miss them every day#listening to 'jenny of oldstones' while drawing this was a mistake T^T
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.
#hi guys i appear again#so i decided to give bumble a chance#started talking to two guys#one from belgium and one from canada (both living here lol)#i had a date with the first guy yesterday#and i thought he was so cool and like actually hot and i enjoyed my time with him#but then he didn't talk to me again. i texted him yesterday saying i had really liked meeting him#and he didn't say it back so#i don't know if it's because my period is only a few days away#but i feel so stupidly sad?#not because of HIM specifically but#i can't stop overthinking stuff. every single thing i said yesterday#bro i'm feeling like shit lol am i not good enough? like am i not fun? at least to be deserving of a second date?#we didn't even kiss we just chatted lol am i the problem?#i don't want to think there's something wrong with me because I KNOW THERE'S NOT#but i can't help but feel that way#also i'll die single as fuck hah bye
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