#at least if i ever want ro actually write the second book

[pierogipete]

I want you to know that I spent most of last week pestering my friend to reread in a different life, and then drunkenly reread almost the whole series while rambling into my notes app about it. (Why drunken me didn't comment directly, I have no idea??) Which means that soon!! I will be on my third reread to finally start commenting on this beautiful and wonderful fic!

ahhhh!!! i’m so excited to read your comments :D 🥰🥰❤️

[midnight-bay-if]

Hey! I didn't have time before, so I've only now read the newest chapter, and damn... it was my first time meeting Umbra in the story (as I didn't take the path allowing that in the previous content), and I loved that scene so much! I never expected the "book reveal" at the end. It's interesting how despite me not realizing it before, Umbra seems to be the exact kind of character I usually like to romance in games. To be honest, if Taj wasn't so amazing, I could have been tempted to go for Umbra. Though to be fair, I love all the ROs (I'm a "one canon playthrough" player, so I normally don't go for more than one "route" in IF, hence me actually having to commit to a choice).

Also, Rain and S teasing Taj about their "crush" was so unexpected and funny to me.

That aside, I have two pretty random questions. - First one is, how much would Alek approve of each of the ROs? Either his opinion on each or just a ranking, I'm fine with both. Assuming Alek is like a second father to the MC when it comes to their relationship, if it changes things. - Second is a bit longer… What do the ROs think of a very nice and sweet MC who is an ultimate people-pleaser (as per that one choice at the beginning, about a flaw the MC has)? Like for example, my MC was dead tired but still went to the diner just cause Rue asked. And then he agreed to the "date" with Hunter (what could go wrong?…) just because he clearly can't help himself from caving when someone asks him basically anything, even if he doesn't want to do it. Which is obviously bad when it reaches such levels.

Hi! I’m glad you enjoyed that scene with Umbra. I tried to make it a good scene regardless of whether it was the first time you met Umbra or the second. With my indecisive mind being the way it is, my mind will probably change about another ten times before the end, but I will just keep rolling with it, haha. If it’s any consolation, you could always buddy up with Umbra instead.

I had great fun writing the scene with the team from their POV. It makes me excited to get them all in one room and let chaos commence.

As for your questions… well…

To be honest, Alek isn’t going to approve of any of the ROs for a long time. Alek really wants MC to lead a normal, with a reasonable level of excitement, life. All of the ROs are dangerous and lead dangerous lives. Alek would much prefer they all kept their distance. However, when things start happening, and the danger levels rise, Alek’s opinion may shift. Some shift quicker than others.

Overall, Alek will probably approve of S the most. For obvious reasons. They are human, for a start. They are also smart, and they can rely on S to navigate any given situation, putting you in the most advantageous position.

Next would be Rain. On the surface level, they seem to be well put together, kind, generous… all good traits. Probably not as strong as Alek would like (Rain is somewhat deceptive in this way. They look and act weaker than they), but Alek feels they could trust Rain to protect you emotionally, at least.

Taj and Umbra are pretty close. Alek’s first impression of Taj was less than favourable, and that is a difficult image to wipe away. He also witnessed Taj’s harshness towards you in particular, so his hackles are well and truly up. Umbra’s is a little more personal, and I can’t really say more without spoilers, but obviously, both Alek and Umbra have been around since MC’s childhood, so that should provide some clue.

N is last, and this should come as a surprise to nobody, lol. N is going to have to grovel at Alek’s feet to ever get him to approve of the relationship.

As for the second question…

S: They think it’s a trait deserving of nurture. They want you to keep your kindness since it’s much more valuable than people give credit for, whilst also giving you permission to find your assertiveness. There are people who would take advantage of such a trait if exposed, and S has no qualms about backing you up when this happens. If you can’t stand up for yourself, they at least want you to trust them enough to do it for you.

Rain: You might find that you have more in common with Rain than you think. Rain has a hard time saying “no” to anything. Their fear of conflict in others leads them to go to extreme lengths to maintain the peace and keep people happy. Maybe together, you could agree to be the other one's advocate if you can’t find it in yourself to be your own.

Taj: At first, Taj doesn’t trust it. They have this image in their head of what humans should be like, what they are always like. S has already tested the bounds of their preconceptions, but since S is just one person, it was easy enough to rule them an outlier. Once Taj realises this is real and you have gained their trust, they become fiercely protective. They will still rib you repeatedly, coaxing you to stand up for yourself. But when push comes to shove, they will be the first to stand in front of you if someone goes too far.

N: N doesn’t understand it at first. They think it is a weakness to exploit. If you can’t say “no”, you certainly won’t say “no” to them. But later, when they see how it affects you, the strain it places on you, they feel something close to regret. Eventually, they come to the conclusion that, actually, you might just be the strongest person they have ever met.

Umbra: There isn’t a single version of MC Umbra doesn’t love (whether platonic or romantic). However, an MC who struggles to navigate their own agency will find Umbra hovering a little closer. Words are difficult, but they are pretty good at looking ominous or menacing when required.

[consistantly-changing]

[Image descriptions in order: a twitter thread by @Leftovers_Movie "Melissa Turkington" which says:

Bought a used Charles Bukowski book and the best part are the notes in the margins from a woman who clearly was having none of this shit.

Attached is a photo of a book page, with an annotation in the margin with a blue glitter pen. The annotation says "go to therapy dummy", and is pointing at two lines that are particularly cut off. The lines say: it's probably some deeply-ro... that makes me vulnerable..]

[Tweet: Okay, I think I'm in love with this woman. I have to share my favorite excerpts.

Book excerpt: I mount her and tell her, "I'm going to shoot white hot juice into you. I didn't fly all the way to Galveston to play chess."

Annotation: No ♥️]

[Tweet: A valid question.

Book excerpt: she knew what she wanted and it wasn't me./I know more women like that than any other kind.

Annotation: why would she?]

[Tweet: This mystery woman, with her glittery blue gel pen, is all of us.

Annotation: -This is the worst poem he's written in this collection by far. what is a "good" woman? (Quiet)

-The "whores" don't "find" him—he actively chooses to be with women ("... don't bring a whore around") who will eventually leave him. That says more about how he sees himself than the "ex-prostitutes, madwomen". He probably couldn't keep a good woman if he found one. -How could he not realize that his treatment of and behavior towards women in general would ensure that he'd never find and stay in a happy, healthy relationship? This man was definitely addicted to his own sadness.

-At least he's honest about being a prick.]

[Tweet: We've changed pens.

Annotation, in a red glittery pen: this man was fucking nuts. ("Nuts" is underlined)]

[Tweet: I must find her.

Book excerpt: I have shit stains in my underwear too

Annotation: wipe your ass you little gremlin]

[Tweet: 😂

Book excerpt: I think of the dancer walking across my kitchen. I can't visualize it. I am going to die alone just the way I live.

Annotation: probably for the best]

[Tweet: And this is where the notes end. There is still about 1/3 of the book left. Sugarplum, wherever you are, I am so glad you didn't.

Annotation: i am definitely buming this book. Today. What an actual freak. ("Today" is underlined)]

[Tweet: I hope she's a marriage counselor now. And still uses a turquoise glitter pen.

End of thread]

[A reply tweet by @katiepdf "tawdry lorde" which says "Hi! I'm the person who took those notes. 😅😅 don't have pic of what I wrote in the collection but here's a pic of the pen I used and a journal entry I wrote about that terrible book LOL".

Attached are two images. The first is an excerpt of a poetry book, which says: "fuck

she pulled her dress off/over her head and I saw the panties/indented somewhat into the/crotch.

it's only human./now we've got to do it./I've got to do it after all that bluff./it's like a party—/two trapped/idiots.

under the sheets/after I have snapped/off the light/her panties are still/on. she expects an opening performance"]

[The second photo is a journal excerpt, which says: "11/29/20

This is one of the better Sundays I've had in a while.. I probably won't finish reading 5 books like I promised to myself (and to my close friends on (IG) but it was an arbitrary goal anyways. Reading, as with most things, should involve quality over. quantity—and I've read some shit books this year, partly because I wanted to get to book #52. I'll need to make an in-depth book list next year so I can pull from something I've vetted. I will not randomly buy another collection of Bukowski poems at Barnes + Noble again. I won't ever read Bukowski again, to be honest. Men like him didn't deserve to become famous..

I did almost buy an insanely large collection of poems on a whim by Louise Gluck, though. The cover and size (crossed out) was (end cross out) were very imposing and I liked the poem on the first page. She seems to write a lot about nature, which isn't really my style. Honestly I'd just like to read contemporary stuff that's similar to Danez Smith's writing."]

[Another two tweets by tawdry, which say "That's so crazy that you picked up my copy and I'm now seeing what I said on Twitter... I don't even remember when/how I got rid of it. But I'm glad you liked what I had to say :-)"]

["I feel like I should also mention that I have a book review Instagram (@katiepdf) and a Tik Tok acc ( @kt.pdf) where I do reviews/talk about books... so if you're interested in my thoughts about other stuff go there! ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥"]

[A tweet by Melissa, the OP, which says "Tiny update:" attached is a screenshot of a zoom call, showing Melissa and Tawdry meeting over zoom. They are both laughing.]

[vendetta-if]

Yo it's me who asked can we romance both Ash & Rin and I was meaning the two of them at the same time

To the first anon whose ask I’m answering, I know you just sent me another one where you said you’ve asked 2 times previously (so this one is the second ask?), but this one is honestly the only one I received in my inbox and this is like… 8-9 hours old? I put your ask in a draft when I woke up this morning because I want to answer it along with the other similar asks and because I am actually contemplating what you’re asking and it’s not a simple yes or no answer for me.

For the two poly anons, don’t worry, it’s not a stupid question to ask 😊 And I’m sorry for taking such a long time to answer both of your asks because I’ve been thinking about it. Unfortunately, I think the ROs just don’t really have a good chemistry and relations with each other because of their various backgrounds, backstories, and moral values 😅

The only one possible pairing that I think might work is Ash and Rin because they actually, begrudgingly (now) respect each other, and they’ve known each other and MC ever since they were all kids. But they can’t get closer even as friends because of Ash’s complicated feelings for MC and Takashi’s insistent nudging to get Rin and MC together. But, I think, if MC can get them all to talk openly together, it might work 🤔 And if I’m to implement poly, it’s going to be more like a V kind of relationship with MC as the ‘pivot’ (so, it’s more like MC is dating Ash and Rin at the same time).

This is still not final, of course and still very tentative. I don’t want to get your hopes up and make a false promise. 😅

For now, I’m still more focused on writing out what I had first planned in my head: at least get all of the ROs individual sub-plots/routes done and finish the first rough draft of the book. After that’s all done, I’ll start implementing some additional stuff that I personally find interesting and fitting, such as the Civilian Ending and the Ash and Rin poly route.

[interact-if]

The A/PI Heritage Month interviews are coming to a close soon! For Day 8, we have lovely Aster! :chinhands:

Aster, author of Nevermoore

A/PI Heritage Month Featured Author

They say that curiosity killed the cat, but it won’t be satisfaction that’ll be bringing you back. Again. And again. And again.

The simple act of visiting your parents turns into something much more than what you were expecting when your car suddenly breaks down in the middle of nowhere, and you find yourself right beside a small town that’s engulfed by the trees.

Some of the residents you met right away were welcoming enough, happy to try and lend a helping hand when they can. But their smiles seemed more apologetic than happy, and their eyes looked at you with regret.

You never really did understand why that was…

Until you died.

So now, you are an unwilling participant in an endless cycle of death and resurrection. And the more you learn about the bloodstained history of the town and the past of its people, the more you'll get tangled up in a web of secrets that threatens to keep you there forever.

So welcome, newcomer… to Nevermoore.

(INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT UNDER THE CUT!)

Q1: First of all, introduce us to your project! What is it about?

Nevermoore is planned to be is a supernatural story wrapped in a little horror bow about a cursed town that’s both lost to the trees and lost to the ages. Relatively normal lives can still happen there...well, as normal as it gets when not only is aging put to a pause, but dying isn’t even a permanent thing. And the duration of the stay, as far as the town is concerned, is forever.

And unsurprisingly, these effects of the town are barely half of the secrets and mysteries that it holds...But the question is, does the latest new resident that ‘accidentally’ stumbled across it (spoiler alert that’s you) really wants to know what they are?

...Perhaps some things are just better left forgotten.

Q2: If it’s not too spoilery, what are you most excited about your project?

Oh, there’s so many scenes and reveals I want to get to already that it’s hard to choose! But if I had to be specific, the one I’m most excited in writing out is Sterling’s (an RO) backstory! I don’t mean to play favorites or anything, but I like to think that their backstory as having the most Hollywood movie levels of drama and intrigue.

Sterling was honestly the first character I made for this story, even before the MC, so I can’t help myself in having some fun with this!

Q3: What inspired the current project you’re working on?

Believe it or not, Nevermoore’s first iteration was supposed to be a very specific, very self-indulgent AU fanfic of this piece of media I was into back in like, 2014? The drafts of that had remained in my Google Drive, unchanged and unworked on, that is until about two years ago when I discovered the wide, diverse world of interactive fiction.

Inspired to create a story to share with others, I ended up reviving those old documents. The plot and the characters had to be massively overhauled to make it more my own of course, and some inspiration was also been taken from shows like Stranger Things and Dark for their eerie and secretive small-town aesthetics.

Q4: Do you pull from your own identity for inspiration? How has that been reflected in your work?

...Admittedly, not so much. It was an embarrassingly lack of foresight on my part (as a first generation Filipino-Canadian), because it somehow never occurred to me that I can, in fact, add characters who are like me into my own writing. Well, lesson learned. Good news is that I already have some side characters planned who’ll be Filipinothat will show up later on in Nevermoore’s demo, as well as have a Filipino RO in a future wip. The latter of which I am very excited about!

With that being said, I will share that MCs parents in the story are actually loosely based on my own parents who were Filipino immigrants! I won’t elaborate on what parts, but I’m planning on integrating some more of their personalities in the upcoming patch. I really want dedicate those characters to them, since they’ve already sacrificed so much to bring me and my sibling here in Canada to have a better life! :)

Q5: What’s been your experience so far? With writing, with the if community...

There’s no doubt in my mind that getting involved with the IF community has been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, despite being incredibly internet shy at first. I’m glad to have meet so many amazing IF writers and readers, and I definitely wouldn’t have gotten as far as I did with my projects if it weren’t for our constant support, help, and hype for each other.

This community has been so wonderful and welcoming, and I can’t wait to see it grow even more!

Q6: Do you have any future projects in the works?

At least three so far, actually! Nothing is fully established yet, just some concepts and vibes. But the genres are high-fantasy, postapocalyptic-ish, and sci-fi.

The first is about a character who’s an aspiring writer (heh) that suddenly finds themselves ‘isekaied’ into the fantasy world of the still-incomplete book they were working on. The second is about an immortal from the dawn of humanity trying to live through the endof humanity ft. zombies(?). And the third is about a volunteer of a cryosleep experiment gone wrong and ends up waking up 1000 years in the future instead. It seems here that my brain won’t let me rest and is telling me to try my hand in as many genres I can haha!

Q7: Finally, what piece of advice would you give to fellow authors?

This is advice that I still have to work on following myself but: Don’t stress too much on your first drafts, it’s called that for a reason! Focus on getting the basic ideas/dialogues/etc down and don’t be afraid to write ‘badly’, since there’s always time for you to polish it into something you’re happy with later on!

Otherwise, you’ll only get into this cycle of editing the same sections over and over, and that can burn you out before you even have the chance to work on the parts you’re actually excited for!

[haaam-guuuurl]

Jane the Virgin Post-Series HCs

Because I just finished watching it and as much as I really was satisfied with the ending, I've got these characters on the brain and as much as they say that the last scandal was revealed, we all know they still have a lot to deal with. So these are just things that have got to happen after the credits roll

Jane eventually uses the new book money to buy a house for her and Raf and their family - with the white picket fence and everything, all the stability Jane didn't have growing up and all the love Raf didn't have

She wants to buy her Abuela a house too, but Alba refuses, she loves their house, full of memories and happiness. So, instead, Jane buys the place next door so they can expand

Rafael continues on as a real estate agent, likes the whole normal job, normal routine, normal life thing, but he wouldn't be Raf without a little ambition, and she wouldn't be Jane without encouraging him to follow his dreams, so, many years later, after more preparation, planning, and security, he does buy that lot and builds his hotel from scratch

Also, and though he is (finally) okay with his parents, there come the times he wonders about them, or misses the normal childhood he never had. In one of those times, he gets really into baking, and cooking, convinced it must be in the genes. He thinks he's great. He's not. Not at first, at least. But Jane doesn't have the heart to tell him. Eventually, though, he gets better at a few signature dishes. In another of those times, he decides to learn Italian. That one goes better, since at least no kitchens got burnt

Eventually, once the kids start growing up, and he starts missing the cute little early years (also, before he buys the land and gets swamped with a new business), Rafael changes his mind and he and Jane do adopt another child. They finally do the parenting thing together from the beginning, and Mateo is the most excited and tries-to-be-helpful-but-sometimes-makes-a-mess-in-an-adorable-way big brother ever.

Jane keeps writing, though she is largely busy with the massive success of her second book, which does, years later, get turned into a telenovela, which both Jane and Rogelio executive-produce

Xo and Ro live in New York while This Is Mars is filming, and Xiomara goes to school, dealing with the highs and lows of international fame in the superstar central of the world. They come back to Miami for parties, and holidays and vacations, and, eventually, when the series ends, move back for good.

Xo is a nurse, working hard and slowly falling in love with it, eventually studying to be an NP, because she's always looking for new heights and challanges. She doesn't lose her passion for singing and dancing, though, but slows it down, makes it more of a hobby

Rogelio starts taking smaller, but still spotlighted roles, and in a few years, retires to behind the scenes stuff, producing other shows, helping young stars, but, mainly, to spend time with his family

Petra and JR are back together and date, for a few years, just comfortable with each other and dealing with every new crisis one step at a time (including, but not limited to, Petra's crazy mother and long lost triplet). They do get married, and Petra plans the huge celebration down to the last detail, but in reality it's more of a formality, because they've been commited to each other and a family for years now.

Also, Petra does franchise the Marbella, and becomes a bonafide hotel mogul and entrepreneur, building basically an empire the twins will inherit and continue

(And her success does mean that the lifestyle book she and Jane had been writing that was benched is picked up once more, and they get to work together again)

Plus, some minor things:

Jane and Rafael and Michael (and Charlie) keep in touch and are actually in good terms. Finally, with no less drama, and everyone happy with their own families, they can be friends and support each other

Luisa stays clean and moves on from Rose, and becomes the cool/weird lesbian aunt for the kids she was always meant to be

And they all keep on dealing with dramas and complications (like Rose's network and bouquet of doppelgangers, Petra's family, maybe Xo's fragile health, Ro's literal dramas, Jane and Raf's risky, dream-following businesses, new kids and custody twists and turns with adopting ...) like a true telenovela, but they have the love and the heart to make it through it all together, as they always have, as a family.

[leo-interactive-fiction]

Hi leo! probably already asked but which of the ROs (or any of the characters actually) did you created first and how much did they changed over time?

Haha, the Ros were the first characters I had planned. Of them I created dorm xeno first, but many of the characters have changed a lot from their initial conception.

E used to be a step sibling, where their mother and your father got married after the war, but I wanted to make E more appealing to romance and had already made a better plan regarding the parents that wouldn't fit the dynamic anyway haha. I've gotten flak for the change, saying it was better before or that I don't write the new version correctly but I'm ultimately sticking by it and think it's for the best.

R used to be a lot more flirtatious, especially in their first appearing scene. They also didn't have the label of an aristocratic black sheep hanging over their head, so they were actually quite popular with many characters that now treat them poorly or with suspicion. As I continued to write them their personality seemed to lean more towards wittiness and sarcasm, and as I rewrote their scenes they've lost much of the hard flirtatious forward edge they had in favor of that. Their introduction scene also changed to show them getting out of custody, whereas before they just appeared on the train, forcing their way into your booth.

L hasn't changed all that much, at least personality-wise. I always sorta knew what I wanted to do with them, but I did change some scenes about them. Their initial appearance scene in the library was the same conceptually with them getting bullied, but it was tweaked to also introduce the second-year no-nonsense student guard Juno. their penchant for rambling on and over-thinking/planning has also been accentuated, and their habit of reading books aloud was talked about but wasn't seen in the story until the rewrite.

V's personality has always stayed static, though initially I wrote them with a lot more brevity, their dialogue only consisting of simple sentences no longer than 5 words. They're still more brief than other characters, but I moved away from the obscure dialogue limitation as the writing went on. Their initial appearance showed them in the arena fighting a random large student and nearly executing them with their gun. So not much has really changed with them. Rex and Acer now appear in their initial scene though.

P's always been a swearing firebrand, though they were never shown actually harming any other students. I think they've become more violent in nature to match their personality. Their first appearance used to be when you see them in the first gym class, but they're now shown sooner protecting M at the back of the recreational dorm. In the old version, they had a diary you could read where they basically still called you a dumbass but it was a bit more positive. I could probably look back in the old files to see if I could find what it said exactly haha.

M I don't believe I changed at all. Even their scenes are pretty similar, though in the old version on their first date in the study room if you didn't first lean into their tendencies it would kick you off their romance route. That was changed for obvious reasons haha, but this was before I had implemented a romance route lock so you could pursue a different RO then. Now your choice is definitive, based on who you choose to pursue on the first date since they've got plenty of introduction before that point. In the initial game, the first date for some of them was the first time you ever really have a full scene with them, and S and F didn't even have one then. M's name has also changed. They used to be named Elliot/Ellie before they were Matthew/Mary.

Raven's pretty similar in personality though I've changed many of their scenes. The first time you met them, they used to just kinda appear in the dark after you were walking back to the dorms, and they gave you a card with a poem on it saying you need to keep it and they'll always find you. Their first date was also more bloody, as you find a room full of bodies. I didn't really tone down on their homicidal tendencies overall, but I decided to hold off on really showcasing it until later on, instead going for a tame kidnapping for the first date.

S and F were sorta bonus characters I made when I decided to put the ROs not in dorm Xeno into dorm Exul. Since there's 5 to a dorm, there were still 2 spots I had to fill, so my mind went to two different sides of the economic spectrum: A royal and poverty-stricken character, and so S and F were born. This is also why they didn't have a first date while the others did: they were introduced together into the story at a later time. This also meant they didn't have as many scenes as the other characters, so they had less development. When I did the rewrite though, I made sure to introduce them earlier so they could have a first date scene and be on the same page as the other characters.

S has changed a bit. To start, they didn't really used to be an oblivious idiot that couldn't understand your advances. I had initially wrote them to skirt around your advances because they had a bad relationship in the past that made them fearful of romantic things. They were changed because as I answered more asks about them on tumblr I had a lot of fun writing them as a more dense and oblivious character, so on the rewrite I leaned into those aspects of them.

F is pretty similar to how they were created, but they were only really showcased in the story as throwing insults and never really 'using' their authority so to speak. When I did the rewrite, I used their new introduction as a way to show that they had the power to carry out the threats they made and give their authority more weight.

Overall I'm ultimately pleased with how all the ROs have developed as I've written more and more, and I hope they get better as time goes on and I dive further into the story haha

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Hey there! This is really my second request I’ve ever made on here, so sorry if it sounds stupid. I can’t really write that well. So I was wondering if you wanna could you write something for Kai (overhoe in book) where he had a childhood friend that became a hero, or someone who goes to UA. They are in the Eri rescue mission and see him so, I’ll let you decide the end. Please and ✨✨Thank you!!✨✨sorry about my wording....

ANGSTY. RISE MY CHILDREN! RISE!

"Come on Kai!" He saw you waving with a bunch of flowers, dirty flowers from the ground, as you had that stupid big smile on your face.

If only he had enjoyed more that time with you and that smile of yours though...

Overhaul wasn't a man with friends. He would always call the rarely, and honestly the ones who survived, the most loyal lackeys and commurates.

Asides from Chronostasis and you... He couldn't trust anyone to be his friend.

If his pride and goal havent blinded him at that time, he might have confessed his fellings for you. But no. He was a stubborn kid. He wanted you to confess. He wouldn't risk his reputation neutger humilate himself like that. Confessing fellings no less.

The past was burried deep for him... yet he couldn't forget about you...

Both of you took different paths. Him as a villain mafia boss, you what he most hated in this entire sick world. A hero.

One of the top ten heroes no less.

He never felt so betrayal in his life until the unforgiving day he trued to run away from.

Lemillion was surely a great oponent. But after Chronostasis had shot him, his quirk would be gone forever (sikes NO LOL get dunked on Chisaki).

This kid ruined his own life from wanting to be a hero so badly, was torned to simply misery and still had the audacity of screaming his old name?

"THAT'S NOT MY NAME ANYMORE!" He shouted and before a green hero kid tried to stop his attack he had hit Lemillion and Eri.

Well, at least he thought he had...

"Where have you gotten yourself into-" He widened his eyes at the voice before hissing and his own attack comung back towards it with ten fold.

"-Kai?!" You shouted angrily and lowering your hands.

He disintegrated the ro k and glared at you with a some sorta of calm yet dissapointed.

There you were. Wearing that stupid costume with that stupid cape waving as you stood in guard to protect those brats.

"I could ask you the same thing." He hissed as he sended another attack only for your pupils to contract and stop the wave of concrete with two of your fingers to send towards Chronostasis and Eraserhead to some sorta protect and try to help the hero in some way.

Your quirk was called Karma. The more you touched or any form of contact with your oponent you could retribute ten fold agaisnt them.

Stupid diseace.

"Cant you see what you're doing is wrong?! MAINTANING THE YAKUSA IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE SAFETY OF YOUR FATHER'S GRANDDAUGHTER?!"

"Hypocrite." He growled back before trying to touch you and end this already as you dodged as Midoriya helped the both you were earlier protecting.

"You work for those sick heroes! You are sick! Infected with this diseace im trying to cure! You have NO righton calling me out for my actions!" You hissed at one of zharp attack managing to scratch the skin of your arm at the point of bleeding, but you still had to distract Overhaul.

"YOU WERE SELLING A KID'S BLOOD FOR GOD'S SAKE! A LITTLE GIRL WHOSE IS ACTUALLY RELAGED TO THE MAN WHOSE CREATED YOU!"

"SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" he shouted as you gaspex at the intense attack he sended towards you and the gigantic pillar you were now on.

You really wished you had a quirk to fly now...

"You are on their side." You gazped at seing Chisaki was merely feet away from you, stood with eyes full of anger and... hurt?

You still could see through his eyes his emotions. It was a method you developed since childhood to understand Chisaki...

"Obviously." You said sternly in guard as he clenched his fists.

"So you abandomed me for getting sick..." he growled as his quirk started to cunction and you had to dodge from the sharp pillars he was forming as his head remained low.

"Left behind that bastard of a hero who killed your uncle." He emphasized that as you tripped and fell on your back as he started to cage you with the concrete and walk towards you.

"And still think there is really a good or wrong path..? " he spoke dowj to you as you glared back at him.

"What happened to you? I knew a way lesss asshole and sociopath Chisaki before!" You almost wanted to spit at him before you widened your eyes at him crouching down to glare at you in anger.

"I changed the moment i knew this world was sick. I changed the moment you abandoned me for getting into a hero school to transform into one of those things your parents wanted."

"They threatened me! I would be abandoned at that time! What was I suppose to do?!"

"Seek an actual help from me since I WOULD DO IT!"

"Ha!" You laughed sarcastically "A person lile you doesn't want to help others! Just want money and things in charge! You dont know what is like to care about someone C-h-i-s-a-k-i."

"I CARED. I LOVED YOU." He shouted in anger as time seemed to stop for you as your eyes widened.

Your hair blew as Chisaki got up and rubbed his temple before his stoic face returned.

"You...what.. for real...?" you almost whispered as his eyes narrowerd and took his glove out aggressively.

"In the past. But not anymore, traitor-" before he could even touch you Midoriya jumped in and destroyed the tower with both Eri and you on his arms.

"(H/n)-san! Are you alright?!" You couldn't even blink as the tower was destroyed and Chisaki fell towards the ground...

If only you knew at that time...

Chisaki soon got up miraculously and overhauled his arm to search someoneto fuse with to get Eri nack as Midoriya got ready to fight.

If only you had told him the same way you felt towards him back then...

He was defeated. Left like a smashed bug on the ground as your colleagues helped you up and took you onto a ambulance for fiscovering both your right arm and left leg were broken.

What would have been...? Would you two actually be away from this fucked up way of living...?

You watched the van Chisaki eas put into got away as the ambulance you were in closed the doors and drove to an hospitap nearby.

... would you two be happy together... if only both of your feelings were confessed...?

[the-al-chemist]

Artemis Hexley and the Secret Staircase

Chapter 6: To Catch A Curse-Breaker

A/N: This chapter was so much fun to write. Warnings: lots of simping. You might feel called out, if you do, good. I’m calling you out.

 Artemis visited Rowan in the hospital wing the next morning. She looked a little shaken still, and very frail.

 “How are you feeling, Ro?”

 “Weak,” Rowan gave a wan smile, “but okay. Madam Pomfrey says she wants to keep me in here for a couple of days.”

 “I’ll make sure I bring you up some books from the dormitory so you don’t get bored,” Artemis smiled. “You’ll be out for your birthday, though, won’t you?”

 “Yes, but apparently I’ll need lots of peace and quiet. So definitely no fireworks.”

 “As long as you’re okay, Rowan, I don’t even care about the fireworks,” said Artemis. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have dragged you into this Cursed Vaults business.”

 “You didn’t drag me, I chose to come with you,” Rowan protested, “but I don’t know if I will be able to go back again. I know I’m good with books but I’m just not as skilled with practical magic as you. I’m going to hold you back.”

 “You could never hold me back,” Artemis told her, “but I don’t mind if you don’t feel up to carrying on searching for the Vaults after what happened. I don’t really mind what you do as long as you get better.”

 “I just think you’d be better off with someone else helping you. Someone who knows more magic, like one of the older students.”

 “I could ask Jane,” said Artemis, nodding. “She’s been really good with coaching me to duel all term, she might want to help me with the ice as well.”

 But when Artemis found Jane watering the plants in the common room later that evening and told her about the ice room and the secret staircase, her prefect had no interest in helping her whatsoever.

 “I can’t go traipsing about some forbidden corridor, Artemis,” said Jane, levitating a watering can up to a hanging basket that was beyond her reach. “I’m a prefect.”

 “So what?”

 “So I have to have at least a modicum of respect for the rules.”

 “Duelling is against the rules, and you help me with that,” Artemis said, following Jane as she walked from plant pot to plant pot. “How is that having a mud... muddy... What was it you just said?”

 Jane sighed deeply, and put down her watering can.

 “This is different, Artemis. Duelling is a useful skill. Messing around with curses is just plain risky. I was here when your brother was doing it, and all sorts of odd things started happening.”

 “Like what?” Artemis asked, suddenly more interested than ever. No one had ever told her that before.

 “Students sleepwalking all over the castle, creatures popping up in really bizarre places. That sort of thing. There was even a rumour at one point about someone getting sucked into a painting. Then at the end of my second year Duncan died, and -”

 “That wasn’t Jacob’s fault.”

 “Maybe not directly, but no student had actually died at Hogwarts for maybe forty years before that, so you have to wonder if that was because of a curse,” said Jane. “You really shouldn’t interfere. You can make it a whole lot worse, you know.”

 “But it’s already getting worse,” Artemis told her. “The ice started in that little room, and now it’s all over the corridor, even worse than it was last month. The whole fifth floor is cold, and last year I had this vision of the ice spreading all over the castle.”

 “You can’t go mucking about with curses just because you had a nightmare, Hexley.”

 “It wasn’t a nightmare, it was...” Artemis paused as she struggled to find the words to describe the visions she’d had the year before. “It was something else. Like a premonition, maybe.”

 “Then why don’t you go and ask Professor Trelawney for help?”

 “Jane! I mean it!” Artemis said. “It wasn’t a dream. I saw the Cursed Ice spreading, and now it’s doing just that. The curse needs breaking, and I need you to help me break it.”

 “No, you don’t,” said Jane, firmly. “Duelling and curse-breaking are two completely different things. You need a Curse-Breaker.”

 “Okay,” Artemis nodded her head. “Where can I get one of them?”

 Jane tutted and rolled her eyes at her.

 “You can’t just ‘get’ a Curse-Breaker. They are highly skilled professionals, I don’t think they’ll want to be at the beck and call of an eleven-year-old.”

 “I’m twelve,” Artemis said, and she added for good measure, “and a half.”

 “The fact that you added the half proves my point,” Jane muttered. “Look, there’s absolutely no way a proper Curse-Breaker will want to help you, but I know a boy who joined the Combatant Club a couple of years ago was really interested in curse-breaking. He’s fourth year now, but he is incredibly advanced for his age and he knows a lot about this sort of stuff. Maybe he’d be able to give you some advice, or something.”

 Artemis felt her face light up. The next best thing to a professional Curse-Breaker, here, at Hogwarts? It was like a second Christmas.

 “Who is he?”

 “His name is Bill Weasley.”

*

 Rowan was discharged from the Hospital Wing on New Year’s Eve, and two days later, the Hogwarts Express returned from King’s Cross Station, carrying the other students who were returning from spending the Christmas holidays at home.

Artemis and Rowan caught Penny and Tonks up on what they’d missed over the start of term feast.

 “Oh, gosh,” said Penny, her blue eyes wide. “Rowan, are you okay?”

 “I’m fine now, but I still have to rest,” Rowan told them, “so I won’t be able to go to any Gobstones or Ancient Runes Club meetings for another three weeks.”

 “That’s alright, I can let everyone know that you’ll be back later in the month, and I’ll make sure you keep up to date with everything,” Penny said, and she leant across the the table to squeeze Rowan’s hand. “You just focus on getting well again.”

 “You know a lot of people, don’t you, Penny?” Artemis asked her, through a mouthful of Bakewell tart.

 “Well, I suppose I do, yes.”

 “Do you know a fourth year boy called Bill Weasley?”

 Penny’s face turned a vivid shade of pink.

 “I’ve met Bill Weasley a few times,” she said, with a little giggle. “He’s Charlie’s older brother.”

 “I guessed that they were probably related. Jane said I should I should talk to him about the Cursed Ice, but I don’t know anything about him,” said Artemis. She paused and frowned. “Penny, why are you smiling like that?”

 “Because,” Tonks answered, her cheeks also a little rosier than usual, “Charlie’s brother is really good looking.”

 “Is he?”

 “Really good looking.”

 “Excuse me, Tonks, I don’t just like people because they are good looking,” said Penny, growing pinker by the second. “Bill Weasley happens to be very talented and intelligent and... nice.”

 “Nice,” Artemis repeated, staring at Penny incredulously.

 “He’s friendly,” Penny gushed. “He actually bothers to talk to you, even though he’s in fourth year and quite cool, actually, although he’s not in the really popular crowd. You know, Emily Tyler and her gang.”

 “No, Penny, I don’t know.”

 “That’s because you don’t know anyone,” Tonks grinned. “Everyone knows who Bill Weasley is.”

 “That can’t be true. You don’t know him, do you, Rowan?”

 “Um, yes,” said Rowan. She looked down at the table, bashfully. “He comes to Ancient Runes Club sometimes. He’s really clever.”

 “I’m sure he’s nowhere near as clever as you are.”

 “He is,” Rowan said, and she looked up at Artemis with exactly the same stupid smile on her face as Penny had on hers. “He’s taking twelve O.W.L.s, and there’s only time in the week for ten subjects’ worth of lessons. That’s why he comes to Ancient Runes Club, because he’s teaching himself the whole curriculum in his spare time.”

 “Okay,” said Artemis, “I’ll admit that is pretty impressive.”

 “He is impressive.”

 “And he’s pretty,” Penny said, absent-mindedly twirling the end of one of her blonde plaits around her forefinger. She turned to Tonks, and added, “I just love his hair.”

 “He does have great hair. I wish my hair looked like his.”

 “You’re a Metamorphmagus. You can have your hair look just like his if you really want it to.”

 “Trust me, Artemis, I’ve tried it. Didn’t suit me at all. I’d have to change my whole face to get the bone structure for it,” Tonks sighed. “I just don’t have his cheekbones.”

 “His cheekbones!” Penny exclaimed, and threw her arms and forehead down on the table in front of her.

 Artemis looked around at her friends, unable to believe what she was seeing. Rowan was gazing dreamily into space, Tonks was smirking and nodding to herself, and Penny still had her face resting on her forearms.

 “What is wrong with all of you?”

*

 Penny, being Penny, was quickly able to find out where Artemis could find Bill Weasley.

 “He’s been using the practice dummies in the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom for an hour each evening before dinner,” Penny told her in Herbology class, as the two of them heaped fertiliser into a pot full of shrivelfig seeds. “He’s been trying to convince Flitwick to let him set up an official duelling club, so he’s getting in all the practise he can.”

 After classes had finished for the day, Artemis made her way to the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom on the third floor of the castle. When she got there, the door to the classroom was ajar, and a pair of pretty Slytherin girls she recognised from her Potions class were peering through the gap, whispering to each other excitedly.

 Standing a few steps behind them, Artemis frowned and squinted to see what the girls were looking at. From where she stood, she could just about make out someone inside the classroom, casting spells. It had to be Bill Weasley.

 “Excuse me,” she said to the two girls. “I need to go in there.”

 The Slytherins gave her funny looks, but they turned and walked away down the corridor without any argument, still whispering and giggling. With them out of the way, Artemis approached the classroom door, and looked through it.

 The desks and chairs had been pushed to the sides of the room, leaving a large area of free space, in the centre of which stood three training dummies. Facing them with his back to her was a tall, slim-built boy with red hair that cascaded just past his shoulders. The boy was hitting the dummies with an array of spells, some of which looked completely unfamiliar to Artemis, and she could tell from the way he moved that he was a very skilled dueller: his posture was upright, his footing secure, and his wand movements precise. Her eyes widened.

 Artemis stayed silent in the doorway for a few minutes, watching the boy practise duelling in the way a cat watches robins flitting around a bird feeder. Eventually, the trance was broken when the boy sent all three dummies flying backwards away from him with a single spell, and lowered his wand, breathing heavily.

 “Are you going to stand there all evening, or are you going to come in and talk?” He called out, without turning to face Artemis.

 “I’m coming in to talk,” said Artemis, and she stepped inside the classroom. For some reason, she felt nervous to do so. “You’re Bill Weasley, aren’t you?”

 “I am,” said Bill Weasley, and turned around, revealing his face. Artemis’ friends were right, he was good looking. She willed herself not to blush or smile stupidly.

 “My name’s Artemis, Artemis Hexley.”

 “So, you're the infamous Artemis Hexley,” Bill smirked, and folded his arms across his chest. He tilted his head to one side, and looked her up and down with his blue eyes.

 Artemis felt suddenly very self-conscious, but she refused to let the boy see it. She raised her chin and met his eye, glaring unwaveringly at him. This seemed to make him smirk even more.

 “You know, you’ve really been making a name for for yourself,” he grinned. “I’ve got to say, I expected you to be taller.”

 “It’s nice to meet you, too.”

 Bill laughed, not nastily, and his smile became softer, kinder.

 “What can I do for you, Artemis?”

 “I heard you want to be a Curse-Breaker,” she said, not returning his smile.

 “You heard correctly.”

 “Good. Because there’s a curse I want to break, and I want you to help me break it.”

Bill’s mouth opened slightly, and his eyebrows furrowed. His eyes still on Artemis, he strode to the side of the room and leant against one of the desks piled up by the wall.

 “Go on,” he said. “I’m listening.”

 Artemis took a deep breath.

 “Last year, me and my friends got trapped in a room full of Cursed Ice in the forbidden corridor on the fifth floor. While I was in there, I had a vision of the ice spreading around the castle, and a suit of armour walking down a staircase,” she told Bill. “Afterwards, these runes appeared in the ice, and when Rowan translated them, they said that the ice was being released from a Cursed Vault, and that to get to the Vault we needed to find a hidden staircase, and a knight, just like what I saw in the vision I had.”

 Bill had stopped smiling, and was frowning deeply as he listened to Artemis.

 “Earlier this year, my friend Ben went missing for almost two weeks, and the teachers found him trapped in the ice,” she continued. “McGonagall freed him with a spell, but the ice had already spread down the corridor, and when Rowan and I went up there at Christmas it was even worse. We wanted to find the Vault and break the curse, but Rowan got hurt. So I need someone else to help me. Someone who knows about breaking curses.”

 “And that’s where I come in.”

 “Exactly. I don’t want the ice to spread all over the castle,” said Artemis. She paused, before adding, “and I know my brother was involved in this somehow. He’s missing, too, you see. We found Ben in the ice, maybe getting inside the Cursed Vault itself will help me find Jacob as well.”

 Bill carried on frowning, and he nodded slowly, as if taking everything in.

 “Let me get this straight,” he said. “You and your friends have been trying to break into a Cursed Vault in an attempt to find your brother, who was expelled for trying to break into Cursed Vaults,” Bill paused, and he started to look amused, “and now two of your friends have been injured, so you’ve come to me to ask if I’ll help you.”

 “When you say it like that, it sounds a bit mad.”

 “It’s more than a bit mad.”

 “So, will you help me or not?”

 Bill laughed again, and shook his head, looking down at the floor. Artemis changed tack.

 “You have a brother,” she said.

 “I have five,” said Bill. “And a sister.”

 “Well, if one of them went missing, wouldn’t you do everything you could to find them? Even if it was dangerous or risky?”

 “I would,” Bill nodded, and he stood up straight. “You’re quite persuasive.”

 “Thanks,” said Artemis, and for the first time since she had started speaking to Bill, she allowed herself to smile.

 “But,” Bill continued, walking over to the middle of the room, where Artemis was standing, “you know, curse-breaking is a serious business. You need to be skilled at all sorts of magic. I’ve heard great things about you when it comes to Charms, but you’ll need more than just that if you’re serious about this. Transfiguration, and duelling, too.”

 “I am serious about this,” Artemis said, stubbornly. “I’ve been taking extra-curricular Transfiguration classes with Professor McGonagall all year, and my prefect’s been teaching me to duel. I’m pretty good at duelling, actually.”

 “That’s good,” Bill stopped in front of her. He pushed his red hair back away from his face, and rolled up his sleeves. “Show me.”

 “You want to me to duel you?” Artemis asked, forcing herself to not to look at Bill’s bare forearms.

 “Give me your best shot.”

 Artemis nodded, and gritted her teeth as she drew her wand. If she was going to get Bill to help her she would have to prove herself.

 “Ladies first.”

 Artemis checked her posture, and raised her wand in front of her, pointing it at the boy.

 “Locomotor mortis!”

 Bill’s legs snapped together, and he looked a little surprised. He quickly cast the counter-curse, and vollied a spell back at Artemis. She didn’t know what the spell was, and she never found out, because she dodged the spell as it flew towards her. Bill raised his eyebrows for just a moment, and stood up even straighter.

 The duel became more agressive after that, and Artemis quickly realised that Bill had taken it easy on her with his first spell. His technique was flawless, and she had to keep reminding herself of every second of the coaching Jane had ever given her in order to keep up with him.

 The only advice of Jane’s that she found really difficult to follow was where to look. She knew she was supposedto watch an opponent’s wand at all times, but try as she might, her eyes kept returning to Bill’s face, and each time they did she had to drag them back to his wand hand. After it had happened a few times, however, she realised that concentrating on where she was looking was distracting her from actually duelling, so she stopped looking at Bill’s wand, and just looked at Bill. As soon as she did so, she found that she was able to dodge and block his spells much faster and more easily.

 Eventually, Bill held up both his hands, showing his palms to Artemis. He’d had enough. Artemis withdrew her wand.

 “Does this mean I win?”

 “Let’s call it a draw,” said Bill. “It’s getting late, and we don’t want to miss dinner.”

 “That sounds like an excuse to me,” Artemis grinned.

 Bill laughed, and used his wand to rearrange the desks and chairs, and the two of them left for the Great Hall together.

 “You really are pretty good at duelling,” Bill told her, as they walked down the spiral staircase that lead down from the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom. “Much better than I was in second year.”

 “You will help me, then?”

 “Artemis, you had me at curse-breaking.”

 “Oh,” said Artemis, wrinkling her nose, “so what was the point in me duelling you?”

 “Ah, well,” Bill said, and he winked at her. “I heard all about your duel with that Slytherin girl last year. I just wanted to see for myself if your duelling is as impressive as I’d been told. Which it is, clearly.”

 “Okay, so after dinner we can go back up to the ice room and try to break the curse.”

 Bill seemed to find this funny, but he stopped laughing immediately when he saw the earnest look on Artemis’ face.

 “You’re not joking,” he said, and Artemis shook her head. Bill exhaled through his nose, like a horse. “Did you not listen to anything I told you earlier? You need -”

 “To be good at duelling and Transfiguration, I know,” Artemis interrupted him. “I’ve just shown you I can duel, and I’m doing O.W.L. level Transfiguration with Professor McGonagall now. Tomorrow night she’s going to teach me how to turn a ferret into a feather duster.”

 “A very useful skill,” said Bill, with a sardonic smile. Artemis pulled a face at him. “No, really, that’s great. If there’s a ferret in the Cursed Vault -”

 “You can laugh at me all you like -”

 “- you’ll be able to dust the curse away.”

 “- but I did just beat you in a duel, and I’m twelve,” Artemis said, remembering to stop speaking before she added the half. “So who’s really the one with the useful skills here?”

 “It was a draw.”

 “You keep telling yourself that, Bill.”

*

 When Artemis arrived in the Great Hall for dinner in the company of Bill Weasley, and the pair of them walked down the hall between the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff tables, she spotted Rowan squinting at her through the lenses of her glasses.

 Suddenly, Rowan stopped squinting, and her eyes widened. She tapped Penny and pointed at Artemis. Penny looked over, her mouth dropped open, and she leant across the table and shook Tonks’ arm gently. Tonks looked up too, and swore so loudly that Artemis could hear her from halfway down the hall.

 Bill didn’t seem to notice any of this.

 “I’ll see you on Saturday morning, Artemis,” he said, leaving her at the Hufflepuff table and walking over to his own. Artemis watched as Bill asked a first year Gryffindor girl if he could take the seat next to her. The girl turned the same shade of scarlet as her robes, nodded, and dropped her fork on the floor, before shuffling over to make room for him to sit down.

 Artemis sniggered, took a seat with her own friends, and started to pile stew onto her plate with a ladel. She leant over the table and picked up a jug of pumpkin juice, and as she looked up, saw that all three of them were staring at her, their mouths agape.

 “What?”

 “Bill Weasley just said he’s going to see you on Saturday morning,” said Penny. Her voice was squeaky, and she had one hand resting on her chest, and the other gripping the edge of the table. “Why did Bill Weasley just say he’s going to see you on Saturday morning?”

 “Because he’s going to see me on Saturday morning,” said Artemis. She poured herself a glass of pumpkin juice and placed the jug back on the table, as Penny leant against Rowan’s arm and squealed silently.

 “You have to tell us everything,” Tonks said, slamming both her palms down in the table.

 “Bill said he’s going to help me find the Cursed Vault -”

 “Oh, so it’s Bill now.”

 “- and we duelled.”

 “You duelled Bill Weasley?” Rowan asked, her eyebrows raised.

 “I think you mean Bill.”

 “Shut up, Tonks,” said Artemis. “Yeah, we did. Why is that so surprising?”

 “He’s the best dueller in fourth year,” Rowan replied, fidgeting in her seat. “I bet he knows all sorts of spells that we haven’t even heard of before.”

 “He does, that’s why I’m seeing him on Saturday morning. He’s going to teach me some new spells.”

 The other three girls all sighed enviously. Artemis shook her head at them.

 “I just don’t understand how you are being so calm right now, Artemis. This is Bill Weasley we are talking about.”

 “No, Penny, it’s just Bill,” Tonks said again, and she looked at Artemis suspiciously. “You know, I don’t think she’s nearly as calm as she’d like us to think,” she nudged Artemis with her elbow and grinned at her. “Come on, Artemis. Tell us you don’t think he’s good looking, I dare you.”

 Artemis sighed and looked at them all. She tried her absolute hardest to keep a straight face, but the corners of her mouth kept twitching.

 “See?” Tonks said, pointing at Artemis’ incriminating smile.

 She, Rowan and Penny all started to giggle again, and this time, Artemis couldn’t help but join in.

[julemmaes]

Cry

Lorcan Salvaterre and Elide Lochan modern au

A/N: Alrighty alrighty I’M SORRY. I’m not posting anything lately cause I’ve been busy (very fucking much) and I just want to let you all know that I’ll write every single day of MOF even when October is finished (even if that’s not the point of those challenged but still) 

I was on tiktok the other day and I saw this video of a couple in a long distance relationship where she surprised him and he CRIED. A LOT. It’s become one of my favourite things in the world to be honest. He really seemed exhausted coming in his room and he literally SNIFFED the air, cause he could SMELL her and I D I E D.

Anyway, this is basically the plot. Enjoy!

Word count: 1,948

Lorcan would rather shoot himself in the head than listen to Rowan talk about contemporary history for another hour.

He promised him that he would help him prepare one of the billions of exams he seemed to have every month because his girlfriend, Aelin, had abandoned him at the last minute, leaving him alone. Knowing the type, Lorcan would have bet the house that she had told him a lie not to have another long and boring talk about the Cold War.

As much as he loved his best friend, just the idea of what Rowan was studying made his eyelids close faster than any sleeping pill he had ever taken. And Lorcan had taken a lot of medication to help him sleep in his life.

Things had not gone very well lately. With Elide on the other side of the world and their schedules that fit perfectly so that they never got to see each other on skype, he hadn't seen his girlfriend for almost five days. Lorcan had never been an excessively soft guy, who felt the need to talk twenty-four hours a day just to tell others that his relationship was perfect, but the distance was playing tricks on him and the fact that he couldn't sleep well only added stress and nervousness.

There was also the small detail that his father - or rather, his sperm donor - had died a few weeks before and his mother, who had always been the only parental figure in his life, really wanted to give him the letter that the man had written to him only a few days before his death.

Lorcan had tried to read it, several times, even on a call with Elide, but every time he read the first lines, where the man expressed his sincerest apologies for never having been part of his life, attributing part of those faults to his mother too, he could never bring himself to finish it.

"...can you at least pretend to be listening?" Rowan asked exasperatedly, running his hand over his face.

Lorcan closed his eyes sighing, opening them a few moments later. Rowan was staring at him slightly pissed off. He could perfectly understand that talking to someone who didn't even seem to be in the same room as you could be irritating.

"Sorry Ro, I know I told you I'd stay until seven, but I can't do it." he got up, without looking Rowan in the face, but he saw him stiffening, "If I hear you say Gorbachev one more time, I might throw up."

"Are you okay?" he asked him in a lower tone of voice. Two girls sitting at the table next to them turned around, immediately bringing their attention back to their books when Lorcan gave them a hard look.

He tightened his jaw, putting his stuff in his backpack, "Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry about it."

"I wouldn't have started to worry if you'd just told me you were fine," Rowan pointed out, leaning against the table with his elbows and pushing towards him. Lorcan put on his jacket, puffing.

"Well, I'm actually fine," he said, finally looking him in the eye. He felt his breath hitch when he saw that Rowan seemed genuinely concerned about what was surely disturbing his friend and had to turn around so he wouldn't let him see how bad he really was.

"I know you don't do these..." he paused, frowning, "things. But if you need to talk to someone -"

Lorcan interrupted him by putting one hand forward, "Rowan, listen," he laughed dryly, "You're right, I don't do these things and you're starting to sound like Fenrys," his friend made a disgusted grimace, "Exactly, so cut the bullshit and don't ever try to be all mama hen on me again, okay?"

Rowan nodded bitterly, "It's just that Aelin told me that you and Elide," a hint of pain shot through his chest at the girl's name, "haven't talked for a few days and I just wanted to know if things were going well?" he asked hesitantly.

Lorcan pinched the bridge of his nose, "What exactly don't you understand about the sentence 'I'm fine'?"

"I'm just checking on a friend who won't stop bullshitting me," Rowan pointed out abruptly.

"I don't need you to check up on me."

Rowan's face softened so much that Lorcan knew that anything he would say in a few seconds would make him lose every ounce of patience.

"Is this about your father's letter?" he looked him in the face, reducing his lips to a thin line, then Lorcan turned around, without even saying goodbye, and walked out of the library.

It was not because of the letter.

It was the fact that his mother had felt the need to give it to him. It was the fact that the woman who knew him better than anyone else in the world, the woman who had seen him in the most vulnerable moments of his life and who had raised him alone, breaking her back day and night to make sure he had a future, had accepted the words written on that letter to be the truth.

Your mother prevented me from seeing you. Don't be angry at me, but at her. It wasn't me who decided to abandon you. Agnes told me that I could not see you until you were sixteen years old. It is not my fault that you did not have enough during your childhood.

A lot of bullshit if you asked Lorcan.

His father had left the second he found out that his mother had gotten pregnant and took every penny he could find in their house to buy another dose or bottle of alcohol.

Lorcan knew that his mother had read it because when she gave it to him, the envelope had been torn. And he knew that she hadn't done it with the intention of violating his privacy, but rather to protect him. He certainly wouldn't blame the mother if she still cared about her baby when it came to the man who got her pregnant and then ran away.

He did not realize that he had stopped in the middle of the university garden, his hands in his pockets and his gaze fixed on the ground until a drop hit his forehead. He looked up and the sky split in two.

All the students who were lying on the lawn stood up screaming, putting away their notes and books as quickly as possible. Some laughed as they ran for shelter from that sudden thunderstorm, but Lorcan resumed walking normally, reaching his dorm canopy in a few minutes.

Walking up the stairs as slowly as he had never done before, he found himself thinking about his mother yet again.

Perhaps he should have called her.

They had spent hours on the phone after she had given him the letter. Lorcan yelling at her because the man's words had certainly struck Agnes in the heart - so much so that she handed the letter to her son, without warning him that it was all crap - and she apologized to him for something she had thought right almost twenty years earlier.

Lorcan had reassured her that he had never missed a father figure. He had never had the need to go fishing with his "old man" or "play catch".

He ran his hand over his face for the millionth time, sighing and trying to keep his emotions at bay until he reached his room where he would decide what to do. Whether to take a sleeping pill and try to rest or go to the gym and punch something. Or someone, if he found one of the guys willing to get it.

He arrived in front of the door and saw that it was slightly open, the corridor light on. He swelled his chest holding his breath and praying to every god on the face of the earth that Connal or Vaughan were not home, he pushed the door, entering the small apartment.

He heard no noises of any kind and frowned. If one of his roommates had been in the house there would have been at least the sound of pots being thrown into the kitchen or the springs of their beds moving under the weight of both.

Relieved that he had not entered the house in one of their usual hot moments, he made to move and then sensed it.

He smelled the air, stopping in his footsteps.

Lemon and cinnamon.

He would have recognized that scent everywhere.

He turned around, closing the door and expecting to see her hidden back there.

When he couldn't find her, he sprang towards his room, opening that door and throwing his head back laughing when he saw Elide sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Don' t believe it." Lorcan whispered without looking at her.

He turned back into the living room, taking two steps towards the couch before turning around again and putting his hands in his hair.

Elide was smiling at him with her hands clutched between her legs. She got up, going towards him, slowly, "Believe it.”

"You're here," Lorcan told her, with a shocked expression on his face. He couldn't move, the emotion too great to be contained and in a second everything he had taken so long to shove down and not to process reappeared on the surface, hitting him with such force as to take his breath away. Elide smiled at him more widely with bright eyes and threw herself at him.

Lorcan wrapped her in his arms and held her so tightly that she laughed and then stuck his head in the space between her shoulder and neck and breathed deeply.

Without his consent, a sob slipped from his lips.

He felt Elide stiffen, "Lor..."

He knew that if he spoke, he would not be able to recognize his voice as broken it would be.

"You're crying." Elide tried to tear herself away to look him in the face, but Lorcan prevented her, holding her tighter and letting go of more sobs. He was leaning completely against her and when she moved again, to get the backpack off his shoulders, he let her do it, taking her back in his arms immediately afterwards.

One of her hands rubbed his back, "It's alright." she whispered to him, kissing his cheek. "Everything is all right."

"Why are you crying?" her voice was so small, so weak compared to what she normally had. He let go of a trembling breath, taking a step back, and rubbing the palms of his hands over his eyes to wipe away the tears.

Elide was holding her hands on his arms and stroking him to calm him down. He bent forward, extending one hand towards her neck and passed a thumb over her jaw. She half-closed her eyes, looking at his face. Lorcan looked back, with watery eyes.

He hugged her again with a surge, kissing her forehead and sighing with relief, "I missed you so fucking much."

Elide replied in a muffled voice, "So did I."

They lingered a few more minutes, Elide caressing every part of his body she could reach with her short arms, without worrying that he was completely soaked, and Lorcan relaxing under that familiar touch so strong that he could drive out every demon that had dug his way under his skin during those months without her. And even if things hadn't worked out just because Elide had come back for what would surely have been two days, at least he could talk to someone who knew would understand.

tog tag list (if you wanna be added/removed just dm me or send an ask)

@tottenhamboys20 @maastrash @ireallyshouldsleeprn 

[night-rhea]

*beginning of second year, at Hogwarts Express*

“-was a lot fun but im really happy to finally return Hogwarts. There is still way too much books i should read this year and i can’t wait to finally start!”

While her friend was still busy with finding -trying to finding- her tie, Rowan continued to talk excitedly. “Penny sent me soooo many letters! Just like how she also sent you- by the way she said she loved the tea you sent her from Turkey but i dont think she loved as much as me- or my mum! Well at first we were shocked because we didn’t know Turks uses hawks to deliver letters and not owls, but then i immediately remembered it can be only you because you told me about it before- anyway, tea. My dad says he is in trouble now because he has to find that tea for mum, again and again, whenever we ran out off- What about Ben? Did he told you about his 'plane' trip? I bet it was so much fun but also scary- OH i almost forgot, did you see Cordell’s new broom? Not that he write anything to me, i learned from Barnaby’s letter -dont you think they are so lucky? I mean they lives so near to each other, while i wasn’t even in same country with you-“

“How could i know about Mr. ‘i-see-you-as-waste-of-time’ Rhea.” Night interrupted her with sharp voice. Blue haired kid was finally holding her tie, started to tie it around her neck as she sat in front of Rowan again. “He never writes me. I learn everything about him from Barny’s letters.”

She might have tied her tie little to tight, but its not her fault that they are talking about something makes her angrier. “Jonathan says- i mean, his father says we-“

“You mean your uncle?”

“His father.” Night insisted. “Says that Cordell is the one who is my true sibling, unlike Ya-Jacob who left me. Well at least Yakup cared about me! All Cordell did was making sure im ‘not troubling our surname’. His surname can kiss my as-“

“He was worried about you…”Khanna smiled like she wanted to soften the mood. “And mad at you. Because you didn’t listen his warning and got in troubl-“

“HE HAD NO RİGHT!”

Night’s voice echoed in compartmant, left a heavy silence behind it for minutes. As girls sit in silence, young Rhea sighed and look at outside from window. This time, her voice was a lot softer. “He wants me to abandon my brother. The only one who ever cared about me in this fucking family. I won’t. I can’t, not when no one else besides me can help him.”

Its not like Night believes Cordell was just being bad person and tries to harm his cousin. No, he is not a person like that, at least if he is still how Night remembers him. Its just, Night wishes he could understand why she had to do this. Why its her who had to do this. Because even if young Rhea doesnt want to admit, she needs her cousins help, or in more accurate way, his support.

“Aren’t you being so hard on him Night? Maybe he was actually just-“

“I don’t wanna keep talking about him Ro.”

Rowan know she cant make Night believe that whatever Cordell did was to only protect her. She wasn’t even sure herself either. But still, Rowan remembers his face very well, when Night returned in torn up robes from Devil’s Snare. She remembers how he rushed to her with Barnaby behind him, not asking what happened but ‘who’ did it. Even if Night thinks it was because he just cared about how could someone dared to attack a Rhea, Rowan thought- felt like it wasnt true. But if you ask Night, Rowan is too emotional to understand Rhea’s.

“Anyway.” Night broke the silence. “ We are not first years anymore. Not everyone will pay attention to us hopefully. Merula will be also busy with bullying first years too, so i think we will be more comfortable this year. Do you think Barnaby will leave Cordell’s side and actually spend time with us? We are his friend, not enemy.”

‘Its not an entirelly different subject but will work, i guess’ Rowan smiled at her own thoughts. “Its actually hard to believe when you and Cordell avoid each other too, angrily. Mostly you.”

“Shut up Ro.”

“Well at least he won’t be there to tease you when you stare at Felix-“

“SHUT UP RO!”

I just had a little scene in my mind and wanted to see if i can writw it or not kdkdjfkkf Everything between Cordell and Night was so tense in first three year, i cant wait to tell more about it~

(she/her pronouns used for Night)

[sanktagenyas]

alrighty so i guess coherent thoughts about this book might be a very generous estimate of what i’m about to write here but i’ll write down my thoughts anyway ‘cause i wanna share and possibly hear yours like for real interactions with my posts are not just welcomed they’re encouraged.

ok so to start our protagonists are alina and mal and our antagonist is the darkling and i pretty much related to alina right away because i love a hero with insecurities and doubts, i love an underdog so of course i was always meant to fall in love with alina starkov on sight. now the darkling... should be that i and everyone else would be beyond tired of the dark, tall, handsome and mysterious/scary men in fiction especially when they whisk our hero away for even more mysterious and/or nefarious purposes that they leave them completely in the dark about BUT the charisma fucking jump off of the pages i don’t know what else to tell you. and i am deeply intrigued about him and his backstory and also him and how he feels about our protagonist because when you catch the attention of a centuries old immortal being that says something about you but it says more about said immortal imo.

we come to learn that the darkling is beyond ruthless and yet he still a capacity for love after all this time even if it’s quite out of use to say the least. and just the fact that out of the thousands of people who have crossed his path there’s this one girl he saw and he was like well look at that someone who’s not unremarkable for once. and i know that’s not exactly a romantic sentiment but that’s how it starts, folks.

but anyway to cap my little ramble here despite the fact that i’ve seen that kind of villain before i do still really love the darkling. i like that we don’t have all the facts yet about what led him to become who he is so there’s just the right amount of mystery around him to keep you wanting to discover more and he is just human enough that he is not this caricature monstrous villainous figure (alina would beg to differ but i don’t listen to what alina yells at people when she’s angry)

now onto mal. i’m trying to word this in a way that doesn’t make me come off as a raging anti because the truth is that would require me to be invested in mal enough to hate him and as of now i’m just not. with book one being told entirely in alina’s perspective it’s pretty in your face that we should care about mal. our hero loves him and we want her to be happy, right? plus we really shouldn’t ship her with the villain there are so many wrong aspects about that dynamic just to name one aspect the deceit and the lies. the foundation of darklina is so fucked we should not ship it, right? well see that’s where i would argue that my biggest issue with darklina as a ship is the darkling in the final act all but saying fuck alina’s agency i’m going to make her my puppet for eternity not because that is necessary to accomplish my plan but because i’m jealous and resentful that she left me behind and didn’t embrace my plans for ravka and therefore embrace me.

and you might think wait i’ve lost the plot we were talking about mal and now we’re talking about darklina and the darkling but rewind back a little i said my issue with darklina in the final act of the book is the darkling pissing all over alina’s agency. and he might do that in more extreme ways than mal but mal certainly does seem to view alina as property at times and that implies him not respecting her agency. i could point to the fact that saying “don’t tell me we don’t belong together” is only framed as romantic statement because it comes out of the mouth of one of our protagonists and not our antagonist but that’s a cheap shot, it’s easy. instead i’ll echo my thoughts i shared about that malina reunion in chapter fourteen. mal was not one bit concerned about alina there and even though he says later on that not one hour was spent not thinking about her and wondering about her wellbeing all that flies out of the window the second he sees her with the darkling during the fete and here’s the thing if he had caught them mid makeout session i could understand him letting jealousy completely overtake him to the point that he doesn’t ask if she’s ok or how she’s been treated here and just assumes based on appearances (let’s not forget before she unlocked her powers alina was well and truly miserable regardless of the luxury afforded to her by her new grisha status so appearances don’t mean shit malyen) that she must be hunky dory and then tiptoes the line around slutshaming her but definitely crosses the line over into making her feel like shit for circumstances beyond her control territory and all that over seeing her do magic trickery at a party with another guy. 

alina is allowed to be attracted to another man, she’s allowed to have feelings for another man. they’re both guilty of miscommunication as they obviously both feel the same way about each other but alina has the decency to keep her jealousy to herself and not have outbursts about mal getting close to other girls like she owns his ass or something. that put me off and then i was hoping there would be a talk that would clarify things and he would apologize and that happened but it also came with the revelation that mal was upset to see her happy with the darkling. so he’d rather see the woman he loves miserable and alone rather than happy and belonging? and that’s the romantic lead i’m meant to be fawning over? i’m just not seeing it right now and that’s why even as he so generously offers her absolution (idk if you can read my sarcasm but just to be clear it’s sarcasm) for having loved the darkling and tells her he loves all of her even the part that loved the darkling i’m like..... i don’t believe you boy.

i guess in summary my thoughts about mal as a love interest is i need some consistency you cannot have him throw a jealous fit over seeing alina standing with another man (that’s literally all they were doing for real) and looking happy about it and then have him be like i don’t care i love you anyway. you cannot have him act as though he owns alina and in the same breath throw in her face that the darkling owns her (i hate this foreshadowing thank you very much) and you cannot have him get cold or angry at so much of a mention of a life she might have that doesn’t include him and then expect me to believe he’s made peace with her having feelings for more than just him. he’s not even able to accept a scenario where she goes off and does shit that doesn’t involve him as he shows no interest in her life in the little palace for the longest time. meanwhile you can literally read all about alina wondering what happened to him and what he went through trying to get to her. and for the love of saints i would love it if alina would stop acting like she needs to be forgiven for these feelings i absolutely get that she feels conned and ashamed about it but you do not need to ask anyone for absolution for falling someone who made you feel seen for the first time in your life. fuck that noise.

i just know trust issues are gonna arise and i know he doesn’t feel that way truly. if alina turned around and at some point decided to show mercy to the darkling mal wouldn’t understand or accept it and i’d fully expect a guilt trip to ensue.

now that’s my thoughts on mal as a romantic lead and that’s about the biggest aspect of him we’re focusing on but i do think he is a brave man who genuinely cared for his friends and genuinely cares for alina as that whole journey to hunt morozova’s herd definitely proved. he loves her i don’t doubt that but one grand gesture doesn’t excuse the way he treats her earlier in the books is my point and as been pointed out by others i don’t like how much alina relies on him even when he isn’t here. her refusal to let go of him was directly affecting her happiness and overall health as she couldn’t come into her powers before she thought he was lost to her. if i’m not liking who the hero becomes when she’s with the love interest it’s a big indicator i’m not gonna love said love interest as much as i’m clearly expected to by the author. i like mal just fine, he’s not without redeeming qualities, i just don’t love him yet and i may never do and that’s ok.

now i wanna take a moment and a couple sentences (it won’t be a novel i swear, pinky promise!) to talk about the twist that i should have seen coming miles away and i already know once my sister watches the show or reads the book whatever comes first i will be mercilessly teased about not seeing it coming. but when i found out the black heretic and the darkling are one of the same my jaw dropped. as memers might say i took that personally. and even though we have a lot of grounds to covers still and unanswered questions such as is the darkling still alive? if he is what is he up to now? is baghra dead in a ditch somewhere or worse? will alina and genya ever see each other again? why was zoya so standoffish and violent with alina, what’s her story? the question in my mind most prominent is what happened to the darkling? what happened for him to become who he is. i love the quote monsters are not born they’re made and i much prefer to see a villain who wasn’t always one than one who is just evil for the evulz. so i want a backstory and i also wanna learn about baghra while we’re at it.

it’s all fun and well for her to denounce her son’s actions but and i hate to break it to her but YOU RAISED HIM LADY. so yeah baghra’s whole speech to alina is missing parts for sure because she’s not just gonna admit her hands are covered in blood as much as the darkling’s are. not without some pressing at least. 

sooo to cap off all this i guess i would have just two throwaway remarks and that is that i am getting a lot of gay vibes from alina and if i took a shot every time she remarks on genya’s beauty or just gushes about genya in general i’d be drunk by now and i hope we get an actual queer romance somewhere in these books even just between side characters. second remark would be ivan i’m waiting for you to find some redeeming qualities my dude, i was rooting for you! at first he is a raging dickhead about it but seemed to mellow some and then near the end it’s right back to square one and i am really sorry about his brothers dying but having lost family members is not actually a get out of jail free card that gives you free range to mistreat people just because you can.

[violetwolfraven]

Lean on Me

45 for javid—requested by @livininmyhead

I’ve been lowkey parenting all my friends/siblings alone for a while and now you’re helping me and idk what to do with this???

((I know this is a bit different from my usual style, but I’m trying something out so I hope you like it, anyway.))

...

“Hey, what’s wrong, Elmer?”

“It’s nothin’. It’s fine.”

“It clearly ain’t, so what is it?”

“I didn’t make enough to keep my bed tonight. I’m gonna have to sleep at home. I prefer it here, most of the time, but for one night, it’s no big deal. Like I said, it’s nothin’.”

“Don’t you have like... 10 big brothers and sisters, all livin’ in a normal-sized apartment?”

“I have 8. Why?”

“Nah. You’re not goin’ back there. Sharin’ space is bad enough in a Lodging House, but at least there’s enough for all of us. You can sleep with me and Crutchie on the fire escape for the night.”

“Jack, I—“

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, Elmer. And I ain’t lettin’ ya say no, so can the ‘you don’t have to’ bullshit.”

“I... thanks, Jack.”

“Like I said. Don’t worry ‘bout it, kiddo.”

...

“Hey, Jack, ya got a minute?”

“Sure. Need to talk?”

“I was wonderin’... you’re good with things, right? Like... charmin’ people?”

“You’re askin’ me?”

“No, I know how to do it with just anybody to sell papes or whatever. But... but what if it was someone ya actually wanted to... ya know...”

“Ooh! Lookin’ to woo a girl, Romeo?”

“Um... maybe... kind of.”

“...oh. Oh, Ro... It ain’t a girl, is it?”

“No... is that wrong?”

“No. No, Romeo, there ain’t nothin’ wrong with that, or you. Never let no one tell you different. Just... be careful. I don’t have to tell ya what could—“

“You don’t.”

“If ya don’t mind me askin’... who is it?”

“It’s Specs.”

“Oh. Oh my... I should have seen that coming a long time ago. Okay, so, for flirting with Specs specifically, here’s what you’re gonna do, kid...”

...

“Albert?”

“J-Jack! I’ll—“

“Hey, kid, where ya goin’? What’s wrong? Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay. Ain’t no shame in cryin’, Albie. It’s okay. Talk to me, kiddo. What’s up?”

“Go away!”

“No. Like I said, cryin’ ain’t anythin’ to be ashamed of. So why are ya cryin’? What’s wrong, Albert?”

“My... my mom. She’s been sick for a while, but now she’s... she’s...”

“Oh, damn. I’m so sorry, kid.”

“Get off me!”

“Albert, there is no shame in needin’ a shoulder to cry on every now and then, no matter what anyone says. And you just lost your mom, so if anyone’s got an excuse, it’s you. I won’t tell nobody. Just let it all out. It’s gonna be okay.”

...

“Jack?”

“What is—Oh my God!”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know where else to—“

“Sniper, did your father do this? I know you’ve mentioned him bein’ bad before, but I never thought it was this bad.”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Snipes... I won’t ask if ya don’t want me to. But the Lodging House has gotta be safer than—“

“My mom needs the money. I can’t.”

“Fine. If ya need to keep goin’ back for her... Remember that you’s always got a place here if it ever gets too much... but for now, I’ll patch ya up so you can go back to your ma.”

“Thanks, Jack.”

...

“Hey, Jack?”

“Yeah, what’s up, Mush?”

“You gave Romeo advice on... makin’ moves on people, right?”

“Yes, I did, and if he told ya to come to me... damn. I mean, I suspected, but 4 of my boys? I gots nothin’ against it, but I don’t like that it ain’t safe.

“Yeah... wait, 4?”

“My advice is good, kid. Ro’s got himself a boyfriend. And for you... it’s Blink, ain’t it?”

“How did you—“

“Mush, buddy, ya ain’t as subtle as ya think you are. And trust me; Blink ain’t soft with anyone, but he is with you. He likes you, too. Gettin’ him ain’t gonna be hard. All ya gotta do is be yourself and ask him out. Just pick somewhere that ain’t too obvious as a date spot so nobody suspects. Unfortunately, lovin’ other boys is dangerous, and I don’t wanna lose any of mine because the wrong people found out.”

“You won’t. I’ll be real careful. Thanks, Jack!”

“No problem, kiddo. Good luck!”

...

“Hey, Jojo, ya got a minute?”

“Yeah, why?”

“A couple of the fellas came to me, a bit worried about ya. I was just wonderin’ if you were okay.”

“Oh, no, I’m fine. Nothing’s wrong.”

“Jojo, I’s heard a lot of lies in my day from a lot of liars. And you’s honestly got to be the worst liar I’ve ever seen.”

“It’s fine, Jack. I can handle it.”

“Mike said you freaked out and went to a bad place just cause he startled you. What’s that about?”

“He saw me writin’ with my left hand, okay? It’s fine. I just forgot what I was doin’ and didn’t mean to use it, but—“

“What’s wrong with usin’ your left hand?”

“It’s wrong. I’ll go to hell because of it.”

“Who told ya that?”

“The nuns.”

“Jo... can you control it? Usin’ your left?”

“No. Why does that—“

“If you can’t control it, ain’t doin’ it on purpose and ain’t hurtin’ anyone by doin’ it, why is it wrong?”

“‘Cause...”

“Look, nuns say a lot of things, and most of ‘em mean well. But they’re learnin’ from a book written a long time ago. Times change. And look—Mush writes with his left. Do ya think he’s goin’ to hell?”

“...no.”

“There ya go. You’re fine just the way you are. Okay? Don’t let no one tell ya different. Need a hug?”

“A hug sounds nice.”

“Come here, kid.”

...

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry, please don’t—“

“Finch, calm down. You’re in the Manhattan Lodging House. You’re okay. You’re safe. Shh. Nobody’s gonna hurt ya here.”

“Are-are ya sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure. Your folks ain’t gonna find ya here, and if they do, I won’t let ‘em get to you.”

“Promise?”

“I promise. Shh. It’s okay. I’m not goin’ anywhere. I’ll protect you, okay? You believe me?”

“Y-yeah.”

“Good. Hush, now. Get some sleep.”

...

“Hey, Jack. You awake?”

“Well, I am now.”

“Sorry... do ya really think we can win this? I mean... that Plumber woman is right. We really are just a gang of kids.”

“Hey. We’re a gang of kids with the wit and will to pull this off. We got a reporter willin’ to listen to us. And sure, she’s a girl, but...”

“That’s more than we’ve ever had before.”

“Exactly. We’ll be fine, Crutchie. Don’t you worry ‘bout it.”

“We’ve never had someone like Davey Jacobs, either.”

“We sure haven’t! He’s somethin’ else, ain’t he?”

“Yeah, but... what if Finch is right and the cops come bust our heads?”

“Then I’ll be there takin’ the first hit.”

“Jack—“

“What I mean is, I ain’t gonna let him get to you or any of the rest of the fellas. Don’t worry.”

“I didn’t say anything about him, Jack.”

“Who said anything about him? There’s no ‘him.’”

“Jack, we both know more likely than not, he shows up. Are you gonna be okay?”

“It’ll be fine, Crutchie. I’ll be fine and so will everyone else.”

“That seems like a promise ya shouldn’t—“

“Goodnight, Crutchie. Go to sleep.”

...

“Whoa, Race are you—“

“I’m fine, Jack.”

“Pretty nasty shiner you’ve got, there, so I’d argue that you’re not, but that ain’t why I’m askin’. I know you, Race. I can tell when your smile is faked, and honestly, it is a lot more than it should be, but—“

“Spot didn’t come.”

“What?”

“I thought he’d come for us! I thought he’d show up at the last minute to save us but then he didn’t and he just—“

“Whoa, whoa, slow down, Race. Slow down and tell me what’s wrong.”

“Spot Conlon and me... ya know we’re close, right?”

“Yeah, of course I know you’re—oh. Oh. Okay.”

“What? What’s oh?”

“Ya could’ve told me. I mean, I gots a bunch of queer pairs I’ve been helpin’ sneak around.”

“Spot and me ain’t—“

“Save it, Racer. I think we both know that ain’t true.”

“I... you’re really fine with it?”

“Sure. I don’t care who ya fool around with, long as nobody finds out ‘bout ya foolin’ around with boys.”

“No, Jack, ya don’t get it!”

“What don’t I get? What’s this about, Racer?”

“It’s not just foolin’ around! I... Jack, I think I...”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize... I didn’t think Spot Conlon had feelings.”

“That’s the problem, Jack. I don’t know if he does. The problem is that I think... I think I love him. And he didn’t come for me.”

“Oh shit... the L word. Are you... are you sure?”

“I don’t know! I just know that he’s... I care about him like I care about you, but different! He makes me feel like... like I don’t even know what! Like I’m ramblin’ and he understands it all! Like he gets every part of me! And it is so stupid, but I think I get him, too! Or at least I did! Cause I was sure he was coming, and then he didn’t.”

“I’m guessin’ Davey didn’t tell ya yet.”

“Tell me what?”

“Spot sent over a kid to say he’s comin’ next time, so... I guess your boy is comin’ for ya.”

“...yeah. I guess he is.”

“I guess you’ll get a chance to see if he feels the same, but... Hey, listen. I gotta go, okay? I got a man to see. Do ya need me to stay for a bit?”

“Nah, it’s... it’s fine. Thanks, Jack.”

...

“Hey, Jack, ya got a minute?”

“Oh, sure, Mike. Davey, mind if I step away for a second?”

“Is this something that needs to be a secret?”

“No. No, it ain’t a secret. It’s just... Ike didn’t come in tonight, and I knows he ain’t in the Refuge, cause the Refuge is gone, but what if he’s hurtin’ somewhere? He didn’t tell me he was gonna—“

“Mike, buddy, it’s okay. Calm down. We know where he is.”

“Ya do?”

“He came by and said he was gonna spend some time in Brooklyn.”

“Yeah, it’s late enough that he’s probably spending the night. I don’t know Spot Conlon that well, but he doesn’t seem like the type to let a kid walk all the way back here after dark.”

“He ain’t—you’re right. Look, if he don’t come to the circulation gate tomorrow, then we’ll worry. For now, Ike’s almost certainly fine.”

“You’d think he’d remember to tell his brother when he goes places. That shithead.”

“Language!”

“Davey, everybody curses ‘round here. Includin’ you, come to think of it.”

“I know, but... damn. I’m becoming my mother.”

...

“Jack... can we talk? Alone?”

“Sure, Kath. What’s up?”

“There’s no good way to say this... we need to end this. You and me.”

“...what?”

“Jack, I’m sorry, but... I don’t love you. Not like that. You’re a wonderful friend—don’t get me wrong—but I don’t love you. I never did. I just didn’t realize it because besides Bill and Darcy, I’ve never really had any friends. You were the first friend I’ve made in a long time, and... and now that I’ve gotten some time to be better friends with the others, I’m realizing that what we had was never real.”

“It wasn’t?”

“No. I... I guess I was attracted to you, at first, but that faded without me realizing it a long time ago. And I know saying this is hurting you, but... Jack, it wouldn’t be fair to either of us for me to pretend I still want to be with you when I don’t. The fact is, neither of us is what the other really needs. And honestly, I don’t think you ever really loved me, either, and... and if you’re with me, you won’t find that person out there who you will love. I have no doubt that you’ll find someone to love who loves you the way you deserve, Jack.”

“Don’t worry about it, Kath.”

“I really am so sorry. I hope we can still be friends.”

“We can be. Don’t worry about it.”

...

“Hey, Jack? Wait, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Buttons. What is it?”

“It’s nothin’. I can go ask Davey.”

“Ask Davey what?”

“Jack, it’s nothin’ you need to worry ‘bout. You’re clearly not doin’ so well due to the breakup, and—“

“I’m fine, Buttons! Seriously! What is it?”

“It’s just... I didn’t earn enough today to buy my papes tomorrow. Ya know—winter is rough on everyone. I was gonna ask ya to ask around if anyone can spare anythin’, but I can go ask—“

“Ya don’t have to ask Davey. I’ll do it.”

...

“Shh, shh, kid, it’s okay. You’re safe. Everything’s gonna be okay, okay? You’re okay. You’re safe, here.”

“Jack, what’s going on?”

“Oh, crap. I’m sorry, Dave. This is a crappy night for this to happen, bein’ your first night sleepin’ over at the Lodging House, but I can handle this. It’s okay. Go back to sleep.”

“Blink? Blink, are you okay?”

“He’s still... not really here. It’ll take some time for him to get back, but you don’t have to stay up. I can handle it by myself. Really, Davey.”

“That doesn’t mean you should have to. Blink, do you want me to leave?”

“...no.”

“Okay. Okay, I won’t. It’s okay, Blink. You’re safe. You’re in the Manhattan Lodging House. Me and Jack are right here, okay?”

“We’re both right here for you.”

...

“Specs, what the hell happened to you? Davey! Davey, get in here, and bring some bandages!”

“What’s wro—oh my God!”

“It ain’t the worst that’s happened, Jack, and you know it.”

“Yeah, that don’t mean I gotta like it. Was it..?”

“Some shitheads who didn’t like me bein’ darker-skinned than them? Yeah. I’ll survive, though.”

“You know how wrong that is, right Specs?”

“Well, obviously, Davey. I’m the one who got soaked.”

“Where are they?”

“Davey—“

“Where are they? I get enough shit for being Jewish that I know a bit of what he’s goin’ through, Jack. And people like that—“

“Gettin’ soaked by a bunch of guys bigger than you won’t solve nothin’, Davey. And believe me, that is all that’ll happen if you go after them.”

“Fine. At least stay in bed tomorrow and rest up. I’ll sell extra to make up you missing.”

“I’ll help. Romeo probably will, too.”

“Thanks, Jack. Thanks, Davey.”

“Thank us after we patch you up.”

...

“If ya tell anyone about this, Jackie Boy, you won’t live long enough to see me deny it.”

“Relax, Spot. I ain’t tellin’ anyone. How’d ya wind up with a dislocated shoulder, anyway?”

“That’s my business. Are ya gonna fix it or not?”

“Oh, I’m gonna. It’ll hurt less if it’s a surprise, though, so’s we gotta talk about somethin’ else. Um... so, you and Racer?”

“...yeah, I guess.”

“That is so weird to think about. I never would have seen that one coming. I don’t need to tell you that if ya hurt him, Manhattan’ll go to war, right?”

“I ain’t gonna hurt him.”

“You’d better not.”

“I’m serious. I ain’t gonna—ah!”

“There. Your shoulder’s fixed. You’re welcome. And... you’s got real feelins’ for Race, don’t ya?”

“...maybe.”

“Good. Cause I‘s known Race a long time, and he fakes half his smiles. But the ones he gets when he talks to me ‘bout you are always real. He’s got it bad for ya, Conlon. You’d better not break him.”

“I won’t. Ever. Cause... cause maybe I’ve got it bad for him, too. But if ya ever tell him or anyone else I told you that—“

“I know, I know. I’ll be dead by midnight. My lips are sealed.”

“They’d better be. So... you and Walkin’ Mouth?”

“What?!”

...

“Where did you learn to braid, Jack?”

“Well, it was a long time ago, but I did have a mother once upon a time, Sarah.”

“Oh my God, I’m so—“

“It’s fine. I don’t talk about her much, but she’s been gone long enough that it don’t hurt so much. And ya know, when Smalls first got here, she had this super long hair that she needed to keep out of the way, ‘fore she asked Crutchie to cut it. Somebody had to help her.”

“Oh. That’s nice of you.”

“So, Sarah...”

“Jack?”

“I was wonderin’... I ran into Spot Conlon a while back, and he mentioned some things about... do Davey and me act like we’s together?”

“You’re kidding me.”

“No..?”

“I thought you were together! I just assumed Davey wasn’t telling me about it because... well, you know.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you want to be together? With Davey?”

“...I don’t know.”

“Well, I’d suggest figuring that out, cause David’s always had a stick up his ass, and I’ve never seen him relax the way he does with you. You make him feel free to be... Davey.”

“You’re sayin’ he wants to be with me?!”

“God, Kelly. You really are oblivious. Yes, you stupid cowboy. So finish this braid and go get him.”

...

“Jackie, can you sit down? Please?”

“I can’t, Davey. I gotta—“

“Everyone’s accounted for. Well, except Race, but Jojo said he saw him headed towards Brooklyn earlier. He’s probably spending the night and forgot to tell us.”

“The dishes—“

“It was Romeo’s turn and I made sure he did ‘em hours ago.”

“Specs—“

“I checked his ribs again this afternoon and he’s healing fine. Everyone’s fine, Jackie. Sit down.”

“...thanks, Davey.”

“You’re welcome. I think you forget sometimes that everybody needs somebody to lean on occasionally, even you.”

“I ain’t been leanin’ on anyone since I was... since I started leadin’ Manhattan.”

“And everyone leans on you. I know. You like knowin’ they’re all safe and happy, but who makes sure you’re safe and happy? Nobody—that’s the answer, so don’t try to argue it. So I guess it’s gotta be me. If no one else, I guess I’m the one you can lean on.”

[a-totally-creative-username]

Are you kitten me?

Patton finds a tiny, black kitten in an alleyway during a rainstorm. He just can’t let that poor thing suffer and ends up taking it home. His roommates aren’t really happy about the new, temporary, addition towards the household, even if Patton’s allergies have yet to act up and they all start to fall in love with it.

Words: 2127

Ships: None

Patton is in the middle of walking home from work when he hears it. A small, sad noise that he manages to just about hear over the pouring rain. He immediately stops and listens for it to come again. He waits for a few seconds and is just about to give up and write it up to his imagination when he hears it again. He locates the noise quickly and starts running towards that direction without hesitation.

Once arrived, in a very small and dirty alley way, he looks around wildly. It doesn’t take him long to find the source of the sound. A small, adorable, very wet and sad looking kitten that is trying to hide from the rain under a nearly soaked through cardboard box.

Patton feels his heart melt while observing the tiny cat. It doesn’t seem to have noticed him yet as it is too pre occupied from trying to stay dry. It doesn’t succeed and soon the cardboard is soaked through and leaves the cat in a wet puddle.

Patton just can’t watch another second of those sounds and takes off his jacket, holds it over his head and starts nearing the cat. As soon as it notices him it starts trying to look intimidating and hissing at him.

It accomplishes nothing except make Patton fall even more in love with it. Mentally he is already going through an adoption and naming process for his new friend when he finally starts talking to it.

“Hey there kitty! Sorry to scare you like this but you seemed for me a little wet on your luck! Would you let me dry you up a little and help you get back onto your feet?”

The kitty stares at him for a few seconds as if trying to figure out how genuine he is before meowing loudly and slowly walking towards him and underneath the dry jacket.

Patton is just star stuck over the fact that he managed to get this cat to come with him and can’t even attempt to stop smiling as he takes the kitten, that he calls Anx according to it’s collar (well actually Anxiety but he refuses to call this baby a disorder), towards his home. The fact that Anx started cuddling and rubbing at him almost immediately doesn’t help his growing love towards it.

Now he can do nothing but hope that his roommates won’t mind a new addition!

--------------------------

Alright, so they did mind the new addition a little bit. Or maybe more than a little bit. Patton doesn’t even get their issue! Anx is adorable and didn’t do anything but be the cutest cat he ever met anyway! He, Logan explained that it is a male cat, flipping fell asleep in the middle of the argument and started softly snoring into Roman’s coffee!

Even Logan had to take a second to regain himself from this beautiful sight before being able to argue against them again. Roman had issues with the situation but it was cute! He kept claiming that the cat had actually drunk from his mug until he noticed that he was caught and acted as if he fell asleep, but that’s just ridiculous!

There is no real reason to not allow his new friend to stay! Patton agreed to cover the costs, his allergies doesn’t seem to react towards Anx (and isn’t that just a sign from the universe to keep the little puffball?!) and they have more than enough space left in their apartment for the new roommate.

In the end it’s Patton’s and Anx’s combined puppy dog eyes and adorableness that gets them the win.

--------------------------

It’s been three days. Three days off looking after Patton’s new companion that he brought surprisingly into their lives and that he, as the most mature person, had to look after for that same amount of time.

Logan, surprisingly, doesn’t dislike the cat. Anx is an interesting and thoughtful addiction to their lives. Yes, he meows loudly when ignored and in need of attention, a way out of the apartment or food, but otherwise he remains mostly quiet and generally just seems to hover in the general direction of whomever he feels in need of attention of.

He does get closer and sometimes tries to climb into a person’s lap, but leaves as soon as he gets a negative reaction as if he could understand them. At least, that is the normal reaction towards avoidance of his affections.

His momentary actions stand in direct contrast towards his past behavior and are nearly enough to get Logan to reevaluate his results. Because the cat is laying right on top of his laptop and his research papers.

Logan left for exactly twelve minutes and thirty-nine seconds to help Patton with a spider related issue before coming back into his room. Before he left, he made sure that everything was at its place on top of his desk. Now that he returned the objects still remain in place, but with the addition of a cat on top of it.

He and Anx stare at each other for several minutes before he breaks it off and moves towards the cat. He tries to get his laptop out from underneath Anx but only gets a hiss in response as well as a half-hearted swipe for his fingers. Curious. Anx had yet to show signs of aggression towards anyone until this moment.

They continue this game for a few more minutes before Logan starts to fell his exhaustion, that naturally comes after over sixty hours of being awake. He can’t seem to stifle a yawn that Anx seems to notice, if his narrowed eyes are anything to go by. He is just about to try working again when he finds himself in his bed and underneath Anx who is curling up on top of him.

His attempts to free himself only earn him a few hisses as well as slight claw marks in warning. Well, it seems like he will remain there for a while. He reaches over and manages to grab his astronomy book. Might as well read a little bit to pass the time. Might as well read aloud for Anx, he has responded positively in the past after all.

Ten minutes later, they are both fast asleep.

--------------------------

“Nothing better to start the day than a nice coffee and a new play to memorize- what the?! You! Patton, come and get your hell beast!”

“What’s the problem Ro? Awww, Anx is sleeping on your script! How adorable! Let me get my camera, this is one for the scrapbook!”

“NO! This is absolutely NOT adorable! You might as well name him Cerberus because I’m as likely to get my script back before he finishes napping as the undead are to escape hades and walk the earth again!”

“Well now you are exaggerating. If you really wanted to you could just lift him up and grab your little script, kiddo. He weighs less than a sack of flour!”

“It doesn’t matter what he weighs as long as he has those daggers that you dare call claws! If he really wanted to he could kill all of us easily, but you would probably call even that cute and let him do as he pleases!”

“Well in that case you should really be clawful around him! At least he only wants that script and not you!”

--------------------------

Roman looks carefully around the apartment. He searched through every room that wasn’t locked in search of his roommates. They of course said that they both would be occupied until well after noon and not back in the shared apartment until dark but one could never be too careful.

After finding no one but the little furball in the living room Roman relaxes and goes into the kitchen to make himself his special sandwich.

He knows of course that neither of his roommates would say anything against him eating his world-famous double meat loathe sandwich, except for Logans remarks that he was going against his died, but they really didn’t need to know about that. So what I he cheated with his died? It’s his body! He can do as he wants!

He sits in the living room and is just about to bite into the deliciousness that he created when the damn cat appears in front of him to stare into his soul and judge his every action like he always does! Or maybe he just wants to beg for meat...

They engage in a fierce staring contest for a few endless seconds before he gives in and sacrifices a few precious scraps.

“Fine, but only this once! It’s not like I like you or anything! This is only so you don’t rat me out to Patton you cat in the hat, understood?!” He stares him into the eyes until he feels judged enough that he feels the need to add something, “Alright, it is also a thank you for preventing me from reading that script in time for auditions. I would NOT have wanted to play that role! I do not know how you knew that the play was that homophobic but you did.”

They fall into a comfortable silence afterwards were they both enjoy their meal until there is nothing left and they can do nothing but lean back and rest. Anx comes to curl up on his lap and he is so satisfied that he completely forgets his dislike for his hairy roommate and starts to scratch him.

Soon he starts pouring his soul out to the little devil and feels the relief from unpacking all his problems onto a safe source.

--------------------------

They are all in the apartment on a lazy Saturday when they hear the knock on the front door. Patton and Logan don’t move from their position with Anx, who is lying on Patton’s lap and getting scratches and attentions from them both, so Roman goes.

He opens the door to a tall, lean man that is dressed as if he just stepped out of a eighteenth century drama in black and yellow. He is just about to ask his intentions when the man begins talking.

“I am incredibly sorry for my intrusion upon your peaceful day off, but I fear you have something that belongs to me.” He doesn’t sound sorry at all and Roman is just about to ask what he means when the man nudges him aside with his shoulder to get inside of his apartment and continues talking, “Or rather, someone.”

He doesn’t stop until he is in front of a very confused Patton with a now hissing Anx underneath his hoodie. The stranger kneels down in front of them and begins talking to the cat of all people.

“I totally don’t know why you are angry with me” a hiss, he pauses and begins nodding knowingly, “You are right, lies have no place here at the moment. My apologies.” Roman and Logan start exchanging looks over the weirdo talking to their cat, Patton continues watching the conversation interested, while Anx comes out of his hiding place enough to stare at the man.

“I am sorry for what happened, I shouldn’t have yelled at you over something so insignificant and I really shouldn’t have sent you out into the pouring rain. You deserve better than that. I overreacted and shouldn’t have let my bad mood out on you.” An indignant meow is to hear from the cat that is now sitting on Patton’s knees. The man just nods as if contemplating the answer.

“Yes, that too. I promise to not do so again and treat you as more of an equal from now on. I already talked with the landlord and you will be written into the lease for the apartment.” The stranger and Anx stare at each other before the former deflates.

“Please come back, these past few weeks have been truly horrendous without you. I am not sure how long I could stand to keep this up. I miss you.” That, surprisingly, seems to do the trick as Anx looks up at Patton and upon receiving a nod, climbs into the stranger’s hat that had been laid out for him to be escorted out of the apartment without further notice.

What?

--------------------------

It is two weeks later that Patton sees the stranger again, followed by a shorter, dark haired man with a familiar collar around his neck.

He catches his gazes and starts smiling and waving at him. The man seems surprised for a moment before starting a shy smile of his own and waving back.

Patton is just happy to know that Anx is happy and healthy. Maybe they will meet again someday in human form and become friends again.

[thegalaxysyst3m]

Human Flaws Chapter 5

Chapter 6. Chapter 5. Chapter 4. Chapter 3. Chapter 2. Chapter 1.

     When the twins were younger, Remus had found Roman a font that helped combat his dyslexia at the start of middle school. Ever since then, Roman used it for everything he could. The only issue was that the books in the library did not use the font he could actually read. They all used that crappy Times font that he had to read over and over to understand.

       So as he got into his English class, and decoded the board, he visibly cringed; They were reading Erapon in class today. It was a book by a guy called Paolini and Roman hadn't liked it so far. Maybe he just hadn't gotten to the good part yet.

      That was probably it; seen as he hadn't gotten past the second page. So he tried to listen to his English teacher as she spoke, "By now you all should be up to page ten of Christopher Paolini's Eragon," She held up a copy of the book, the name printed in all caps.

     Roman looked at the board and then at the book. Then once more. It was called Eragon, not Erapon. It at least made a bit more sense than when he had first read it.

      Mrs. Williams continued, " If you're not up to or past that point then I suggest you catch up during your free time in class. However, before you do that, you all need to get these definitions copied for the next few chapters." She handed everyone a list of words. 

The words were as followed: Taciturn, Countenance, Troubadour, Flagon, Florid, Requiem, Bereft, and a few others that Roman struggled to read. So he got out a dictionary from the bookshelf and started flipping through it. 

     This was going to take him a while.

--------

      At the rate he was going, Roman would have to finish some of the definitions for homework. Perhaps he could ask Remus to help him after school. All of this would have to wait, however, because Mrs. Williams asked him to wait after class to chat. Anybody in Mrs. Williams' class knew that "chat" was never a good term to hear her say to you. Roman felt right to assume this would be about how he hadn't even finished his definitions.

     However, as she walked up to him, she sat down and handed him a sheet of paper. He took it, awaiting some sort of reprimands from her, only to hear, "It's a permission form to get an audio book from the library. All you have to do is hand it to somebody at the front desk and ask them for a copy of the book for class. They should be able to find you one." 

     He nodded, putting the paper in his pocket, and grabbing his things. She smiled- which was quite an odd thing to see from her- and hands him a drawn map of how to get to the library. He was bound to appreciate that on his way there. He wasn't good with remembering verbal directions. So he gratefully took the map and thanked her as he headed on his way, giving her a sincere thank you as he passed the door.

       Roman started walking, looking at the map as he went. He really should have how to get to the library memorized by this point. Yet, he still needed directions for it every time. Hell, when he went to the library with Remus for tutoring, his twin had to get them there- and Remus wasn't all that good with directions either. It was like a wild goose chase to find the library. Except the library had never been running, it was just two idiots who had no idea where they were going.

     He looked back at the map; First he needed to take left, and then he needed to go down the stairs, then take a right, then another right once he was next the spiral staircase, and finally he would be at the library doors.

     As he got to the turning point he was glad he had a drawn map rather than not-so-simple words on a page. It saved him an awful lot of trouble. Maybe he should just keep the map for the next time he needed to get to the library. It seemed like a good idea.

      He continued like this for a couple minutes before he reached the doors of the library.

     Roman walked in, taking in the smell of old books sitting on the shelves as he went. He never hated reading, he just got.... bored with it. It took him a long time to read things and it made it difficult to get sucked into the books like he wanted. Roman still thought he'd give anything to not have his Dyslexia. He always had and he always stayed that way. He didn't think he'd be changing his mind any time soon. 

     He got himself out of his thoughts and went up to the main desk, "I wanted to know if you had an audio book for Eragon?" He handed the librarian, Joan, the slip of paper out of his backpack. Joan looked at the sheet and then back at Roman, "Can I have your name please?"

     Roman looked at the permission slip. Surely it had his name on there somewhere. He sighed, Yeah, that's easy; Really Obviously Muscular And Nice. R. O. M. A. N."

      Joan smiled a bit and started typing in the computer. Then they frowned after a couple seconds. "Tsk. Sorry Ro, we don't have an audio copy for Eragon in here yet. However if you want, I'm sure somebody here would be willing to read it to you. If you don't mind me asking, how's your tutoring going? Is Logan helping any?"

      Roman nodded. Logan seemed like he could be very helpful- that is- if Roman would stop getting distracted by him. Roman was about to say he was going to go look around the library for some other books when he heard him talking behind him. Speak of the devil. Of course that would be his luck. Why wouldn't nerdy wolverine show up in the library.

       Roman looked back at Logan behind him and politely move out of the way. However. Joan seemed to have other plans. They seemed to smirk at Roman as they spoke, "Hey Logan! What are you reading this time? Have you tried Paolini yet?" Logan looked at his hands, lost in thought for a moment. Then he shook his head, looking at everything but Joan the Librarian. He caught eyes with Roman as Joan lit up with an idea, saying, "If you'd be interested, Roman here is reading a book by Paolini in his English class and he thought you might like it. Eragon specifically; Maybe you could read it together?" 

      Logan looked at Roman's jacket this time, not one to look people head on. Then he nodded. Already walking ahead and searching to find the specific book in the library. He looked back at Roman momentarily looking him in the eyes and then motioned for him to follow him as he searched. Roman tried to think of where it would be as he looked.

     Both boys knew the library was organized alphabetically and then by last name. The farther shelves were letters further down the line from A. On the walls were nonfiction and educational writings and the shelves in the middle of the room were all nonfiction of some kind. So Paolini would be farther to the back of the room on the center bookshelves. So that's where Roman looked while Logan leisurely walked the isles, scanning the letters.

     So when Roman found it first Logan looked a bit shocked as he went to go sit with the brown eyed boy. He sat down nonetheless at the table and Roman got out his own copy from the classroom. Logan looked at the first page, scanning over it before looking back at Roman. He was trying to do the same, but he looked so frustrated just from a single page. Logan hadn't thought it was that bad. Maybe Roman just wasn't a fan of his writing? He looked at him again, trying to figure out the emotion on his face. Roman had gotten out a reading ruler and was silently voicing out the words he was trying to read. Logan tried to find where he was reading. Roman was flipping around his letters and it sounded like he was flipping some words entirely. Logan looked again at Roman, "I can read it out loud for both of us if you would like, Roman." Logan didn't want to upset him though so he didn't say anything else. He knew what if felt like to feel less than. Many kids thought of him as weird. Odd. A freak.

      But none of that was true. He wasn't any of those things. And even if other people did, Logan didn't want to get rid of his Autism at all. It made him who he was and sometimes he wasn't sure what life would be like without it. So he was not going make Roman feel that way for his Dyslexia no matter what. So as Roman nodded with a defeated sigh, Logan only smiled at him, making note of an idea in his head for later.

Taglist: @shootysturs @punsparcethesnake @wishthefish916

[fangirl-erdariel]

So I got like all of three people interested but that's abt all the prompting I need anyway 😂

So. Yeah. Chosen Ones. The Call of Destiny, the Call to Adventure.

Pretty much every Chosen One gets it, that's how you know they're Chosen Ones (ok granted there are chosen ones who first sorta accidentally end up involved in an adventure and only later on discover it was their Destiny all along. But that's not what I'm talking about here). Usually it comes either in the form of someone really just handing them a sword and telling them they gotta do stuff. Sometimes it's a bit more complicated. In Heralds of Valdemar books it typically involves a white magic horse walking up to the main character, introdicing themself, and saying they Choose the main character. Or possibly tricking their Chosen into getting on their back and then getting them into a situation where they can't really just say no. But yeah, in general, it's very hard to say no to an intelligent magic horse that really, really wants you to do something, when an unbreakable bond of love and trust is born almost from the moment you first look into the horse's eyes.

Either way, the Chosen Ones fairly often refuse their Destiny at first. Not always, and with some heroes it might work better with them accepting it right away, but fairly often, probably more often than not but I can't say for sure, they try to refuse it at first.

Why, in-universe, do they refuse? The common reasons are all more or less selfless; fear, feeling that they're not good enough and someone else would do it better, or some conflicting obligation they wish to fulfill first. The conflicting obligation is somewhat rarer than the other two, but not unheard of; for example Luke Skywalker in Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope refuses at first to go with Obi-Wan to Alderaan not because he doesn't want to, but because he feels Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru need his help around the farm and he should not leave them, no matter how much he wants to become a pilot or something instead.

Now, I admit, you could call fear or feeling of not being good enough selfish reasons, but for this I feel they're at least somewhat selfless. Because when the Thing they gotta do requires a Chosen One, it's automatically very important. The fate of the entire world may be at stake. So fear and feeling they're not good enough are reasons based on acknowledging the importance of the task they're given and how bad things would go should they fail, and not wanting to fail. On the other hand, what I mean here when I say "selfish", is indifference to the task they're given, refusal either because they don't feel like it or because it would require giving up something they don't want to give up.

But what about refusing for a completely selfish reason? That's a lot more rare. Of course the reason probably is that it may be more difficult to make the hero change their mind, and it also portrays them in a far less pretty and perfect light than the aforementioned reasons.

In fact, there's only one work of fiction I can recall right now that has the hero refuse for a reason that can only be called selfish. There are certainly more out there, no work of fiction is that unique, but that's the only one that comes to mind right now.

That work is a show called Robin of Sherwood. Now, the show doesn't have much of a fandom, so I'll give a brief summary of it here. Robin of Sherwood was a British fantasy tv show that ran for three seasons in 1984-1986. The show was based on Robin Hood, but there were fantasy elements added into it that do not exist in traditional versions of Robin Hood.

One of those fantasy elements was that Robin was Herne's Son, a Chosen One of the pagan god/forest spirit Herne the Hunter. This decision turned out to work for the show makers' favor when the original actor of Robin left the show, as it allowed them to kill of the previous Robin and have Herne choose a new Son. As a result, the show has two rather different characters both doing the part of Robin Hood, stealing from the rich, inconveniencing Prince/King John, annoying the hell out of the Sheriff of Nottingham, and fighting for the poor and oppressed people.

Now the first Robin, Robin of Loxley, being Chosen goes fairly traditionally; he's slightly hesistant about accepting the call but does so fairly quickly anyway. By the time his home is destroyed and his adoptive parents murdered, he's already accepted his Destiny and ready and willing to do Herne's bidding. I'll return to him later, but first I want to get to the point and bring up the second Robin.

The second Robin is actually called Robert of Huntingdon, and he is a nobleman of a powerful and high-ranking family; he's the son and heir of the Earl of Huntingdon, and nephew of the King of Scotland. Herne chooses him immediately after the first Robin dies, perhaps even a little sooner given how quickly he's able to go to the outlaws' rescue. When Herne chooses him, he does agree to help a little; he saves the captured outlaws who would otherwise have been executed. But that is something he can do quickly, with little risk to himself. When it comes down to it, he still refuses to truly become Herne's Son.

And there's no fear or humility or claims of not being good enough behind him not refusing. One might argue that being the heir of the Earl of Huntingdon means conflicting loyalties/obligations, but the show does not frame his choice in a way that seems to make it about that. What he says to Herne when refusing is more or less "The outlaws are safe, I've done enough, I'm not doing anything more for you." He refuses simply because he's not interested in the job, and though it's not stated aloud, possibly also because accepting that destiny would be giving up all the comfort and priviledges he has and exchanging them for a very hard and dangerous life as an outlaw.

His eventual acceptance of the Call is because of equally selfish reasons; he meets Marion at a party and decides she's hot. When she's abducted soon afterwards, he decides to go to the rescue, and as his father would not accept the attempt, he goes to get help from Herne and gathers up those Outlaws he can find to aid him in her rescue. Granted, his reasons for rescuing Marion are not solely "she hot". There's arguably also general outrage at her being abducted and forced into marrying like that, as well as guilt over having endangered her by defending her earlier in the party from the person who eventually abducted her, and I think he would feel those things even had the abducted person been someone he didn't find attractive. But I feel like him liking her and wanting to be together with her also played a major part, and it may be that without that he would not have had strong enough feelings about the matter to go to her rescue (or at least he would not have gone so quickly and rashly, but instead taken his time considering whether it was worth it or not, and planning and preparing). I think that only after accepting his destiny, Robert starts truly caring about the things he as Herne's Son fights for strongly enough to actually fight for them.

And it works. It works, I dare say, better than any othrr reason for refusal. Robert has lived a very priviledged life, and the reasons Robin Hood fights are... not really matters that would ever have affected his life. He has little to fear from the nobility, as he is one of them. He hasn't faced oppression. He hasn't experienced poverty. He hasn't had to choose between stealing or poaching and starving. He may well have at some point noticed it happens, maybe felt somewhat bad about it, but they are not matters that would intimately concern him.

So why would he even give up all his priviledges, all the ease and comfort of his life, to fight for things that would never concern him if he stays a nobleman? A hero who cares that deeply would of course be admirable, but let's be real. Damn few people in real life would be willing to give up that much. Good people living priviledged lives might sacrifice a bit, do things that slightly inconvenience them or take a little away from what they have, but giving up absolutely everything? I don't think many people would. And honestly, taking that into account, having Robert refuse simply because he does not want that kind of life adds more depth to the character than a more traditional refusal would have had. It makes him seem less of an impossibly perfect hero, but all things considered, it does not make him seem too terribly selfish to ever be a hero, either.

In comparison, for Robin of Loxely in RoS the quick unquestioning acceptance of his new position works perfectly. He's already an outlaw when he first meets Herne; he has nothing to lose by agreeing. He's lived his entire life witnessing the immediate effects of oppression all around him, so the fight is instantly personal to him even before he starts fighting it for Herne.

So, yeah. I guess my point here, if I have any, is that different characters should respond differently to becoming the Chosen One, and if you write that kind of stories, it will be worth it to consider whether one of the stock responses works well (because it definitely might!) or whether you should think outside the most common ones for a bit.