#at least I’m fairly certain there’s only one ending. I’m just some guy tho. I’m not a professional game… player or something

[murderboisblog]

Do you recommend Mouthwashing? 🤔 I see it’s blown up recently and I’m on the fence if I should play for myself or just go watch some else play it LOL

I DO! It’s a linear story with a single ending so if ya just want the story and context you can probs just watch a let’s play. But if playing the game is an important part of experiencing a story for you then I would recommend getting the game yourself

[mewberii]

Streamer!Scaramouche AU

i feel like he’d be one of the biggest streamers on his platform- probably one of those that everyone has heard of even if they’re not into watching livestreams and all

but between those who do know who he is, they either love him or hate him. no in-between

it’s kind of understandable because his attitude is not suited/can be handled by anyone

he’s brutally honest even when his opinion may be seen as rude (to him he’s just saying the truth so he doesn’t mind if people get offended)

of course he doesn’t try to be rude on purpose but i mean it as in he’ll say what he thinks

imagine he’s playing a game and he doesn’t like a certain mechanic, or he isn’t enjoying the story;

he won’t say the game is bad but he’ll openly say he doesn’t like it/it’s not for him. it makes him seem strict but tbh he’s not that hard to please and even when he complains about one or two things he still enjoys the game

he usually gives every game a chance even when from what he’s seen it doesn’t sound like a game he’ll like. if he turns out to be right he just won’t play it again and if he’s wrong he’s a little too prideful to admit he spoke a little too fast but in the end he will admit the game is good or he’s having fun

probably the kind that just knows so much about all games and all the creators and all the game-making engines and is up to date with every single news of everything video-game + streaming-related,,, how does he do it, i don’t know,,,,

and also since he’s so popular he probably gets packages from game developers with limited edition stuff or merch from different games soooo often

and he placed the ones from his favorite games in his setup room and it looks INCREDIBLE he has so much stuff

he did a room tour stream once talking about all he has, where he got everything, from his monitor to every complement of his computer and like,,,,, the cost of his setup,,,,,,, some people already know they’ll never be able to afford that in their entire life

and he already had a great setup before he even became big as a streamer so people can already guess he’s fairly rich 

also i feel like he would have started his career as a streamer without using a facecam and even like that, he already managed to get very popular because of his professional commentary of game dynamics/playability + you can tell that he’s passionate about this and also he’s very funny without even trying??

he says some stuff so casually that he doesn’t realise how funny it is

probs showed his face after he hit a very important milestone

he never considered showing his face that important but he understood why people would want to see his reactions when playing games (even tho he warned them he’s not the most expressive/dramatique person in the world and they know by now) and would want to put a face to the person who entertains them so much with his streams

and when he does show his face people go absolutely cRAZY BECAUSE he is crazy good looking (if you don’t think he’s good looking i’m sorry for your eyesight. jk i’m sorry in general i just really love him)

some people who didn’t watch his streams will even check them out because of that but literally if you come for the visuals only you won’t stay for long because as i said not anyone can handle his personality

if he sees people being superficial about him too much instead of paying attention to what’s happening in the stream, he will immediately turn the subs mode on in the chat (if he didn’t have it on already)

being rude, being disrespectful/saying discriminating stuff or anything of that sort won’t be tolerated and anyone who does it will be banned instantly

without even interrupting what he was saying before he saw the comment, he’ll just type the ban to whoever said that and go on

and his mods do the exact same. they are just as strict as him

if it ever got too much of course he wouldn’t be afraid to speak up about it and tell his chat to stop that behaviour or else, as they should already know, he won’t be afraid of banning them even if they’ve been subscribed for months or years

ANYWAYS

why do i feel like he has a super organised chat— as in instead of spamming 5 emotes per comment they all send just one and it looks so tidy and perfect

literally other streamers would be jealous of how not-messy his chat is even when he has thousands and thousands and thousands of viewers all the time

also i have this idea that maybe any of his fans would have designed him as a genshin character (which would be the design of the scaramouche we know (?))

and the little pop-ups (i don’t know the name in english rIP) thingies that show up to notify when someone subscribed or donated would be lil chibi art of that design

it’d be really cool

and since i also doodled what a stream of his could look like (i’ll show it in the future when i’m done!!) i thought that way it’d be more recognisable that the streamer is scaramouche

99% of the people who have seen him irl found him too intimidating to go ask him for a picture or tell him anything

he’s not a huge fan of taking pictures anyway + is more on the introverted/reserved side but he wouldn’t mind if someone went up to him (if he’s not busy with something) to tell him something or say they enjoy his streams

i feel like in a couple occasions he would have played a game with some subscribers and he’d like to tease them speaking with his usual tone and face (in case they’re watching the stream as they talk) so they think he’s serious

“did you watch my 12 hour stream the other day?”  -scaramouche

“ah,,,, i-” -the sub

“think well of what you’re going to answer.” -scaramouche

“i-i couldn’t watch the whole thing,,,” -the sub

“ah, is that so…?” -scaramouche 

he’ll pretend to sound disappointed but at one point he just can’t help but smirk and hold in a chuckle before telling them he’s not serious

(he literally doesn’t know how the hell he survived that stream himself because he isn’t one to stream for that long)

i feel like deep inside people who know him would know he wouldn’t say such things seriously/wouldn’t be disappointed in anyone for not watching every single minute of his streams or not even all his streams

but he says all that so seriously that it’s,,, intimidating and they’re lowkey like “god but what if he’s not joking-”

he’d play games with the other streamers sometimes but i feel like most of the type he’d play more single-player games

it’d be so funny if he plays among us with others and for example one of those others it’s childe

both of them would always be suspecting of the other first/bickering, especially scaramouche

and if one game turns out they’re both the impostors… people would know right away

like, if any of them tried to defend the other, everyone else would be like “!?! what is this? scaramouche and childe defending each other? scary”

they’d vote one of them (maybe scaramouche) out because they started guessing + saying proof of how both of them could be the impostors (but the biggest proof is them not coming for each other’s throats sNKJFNGKJS)

scaramouche would have to resist the urge to S C R E A M

needless to say he doesn’t like when he has to be impostor with childe

and unfortunately for him, fate makes it happen considerably often

i feel like at least one time scaramouche would kill next to childe and then report it and literally blame childe

and childe would be like ?!?!?!?!?? WHAT- NO- (struggles bc his brain instinct is to say ‘it was you!’ but they’re both the impostors??? how-)

and then they’d eject childe,,, and then people wouldn’t suspect of scaramouche for most of the game because ? why would he- blame his partner---

well he did it with no regrets and at the end when they all found out they found it very funny (except for childe, but even he ended up laughing in the end because what a mean strategy sjkfhdsgkj)

i have this feeling that even though they bicker so much and for any strangers it’d seem like they hate each other, when scaramouche does play online games, many times it’d be with childe?

ik they aren’t supposed to get along but for the sake of it being a modern au i don’t want bad vibes between any of the characters pls-

and everyone enjoys their dynamic and those streams always get a ton of viewers sjfhdsgkj and i’m sure both their chats would be good friends (most likely one’s fans would also be a fan of the other too)

very very very rarely (because he prefers just playing and talking while playing) he’d do streams where he doesn’t play anything but just talks with the chat, watches videos that they send him, looks at the fanart they make, just talks about games,,,,

it’d be super chill and the perfect streams for people to be doing homework/work/play games/draw or do basically anything while they listen to his stream in the background

he’d also be answering some of people’s questions about him or about his favorite games, or if he’s playing this new game that came out earlier this week,,,

“will you play ‘it takes two’ with childe?” -someone in the chat

“absolutely not. i won’t play a co-op game with him”

not even 5 days later, tweet from childe saying “streaming in 30 minutes! Scaramouche and I will be playing It Takes Two on my ch---”

anyways this will be all!! (for now?) i obviously knew genshin before this but, yesterday i could finally start playing it myself! so i feel like if not now, soon i will also write headcanons of him playing genshin! i don’t take requests but if you guys have any ideas or anything you want to say about this AU, send me an ask!! i’d love to talk about this and about genshin in general!

also, i was very inspired to write this by @baeshijima​ ! so thank you very much to her for her wonderful streamer AUs and if anyone reading this hasn’t read hers already, go check them out!! they’re amazing!!

[seihun]

can i be your boyfriend? — a bbh social media au

ϟ prev ◂ part 15B ▸ next

ϟ pairings: byun baekhyun + oc:reader

ϟ word count: not too long, hopefully, because this is supposed to be a social media au (2.6k)

ϟ notes: hello! look at me, writing things out on this fake text blog, and updating before midnight. i don’t usually do this, but somethings are better said in incoherent paragraphs than in screenshots, plus it’s hard to convey the in-between steps of a relationship through just texts, so i hope you enjoy this insight into their budding relationship 🤗 more notes at the end!!

MONDAY.

“How exactly is it that you started working at Buzzfeed?” you question, reaching over a pillow to dip your bread in olive oil.

Baekhyun watches with amusement as you whine audibly when some runny oil drips from the bread onto your jeans. The indoor picnic he’d set up is pretty damn great if he does say so himself—blankets, pillows, and enough Italian food to feed a small army; and you, of course.

It’s another one of his many, many dates with you—or at least, he’s pretty certain they’ve been dates. Hearing you confirm that you like him was definitely a confidence booster, and reassuring, to say the least, but if Baekhyun’s being completely honest, he’s not sure where to go from here.

He likes you, he knows that much. He likes you a lot; a lot, a lot—(“You’re halfway in love with her, call it what it is,” Minseok said, before getting his ear pinched by Maize)—and he definitely loves spending time with you, and if you asked him, he’d say you’re dating casually, but would you agree?

It’s not like he would know, this is his first serious sort-of-relationship, after all. Baekhyun was never exactly the most suave kid back in high school; more clumsy and awkward than anything with anyone who wasn’t Kyungsoo. He’s not a complete novice; he’s been on dates, gone out, even had a few one night stands in his freshman year, but nothing close to this—whatever it is he has with you—so sue him for basically winging everything for these past two months.

“Honestly,” he recounts, “I did what you did. I complained publicly about one of their posts, and someone DMed, and eventually offered me a job, and here I am.”

“Wait, that’s not fair!” you whine, “Nobody wanted to pay me for my complaint tweets!”

“Well you should have tagged the VP of the company, not me.”

Baekhyun laughs while you pout, toothy smile diminishes into a closed lip one, as his eyes glaze over and flutter between your eyes and your lips. He finds himself leaning in after you, a nervous kind of excitement taking over him as you grow closer. And it’s just barely after his lips have grazed yours that you’re both interrupted by the buzzing and ringing of a cellphone.

You seem to know that it’s your phone, if the crinkling of your eyebrows and embarrassed exhale are anything to go by. Baekhyun simply chuckles, gently presses his index finger to the tip of your nose, and pulls away with a smile.

He watches you fetch your phone, and reluctantly answer the call—which, appears to be a FaceTime judging by the noise and the distance with which you hold your phone from your face.

“Chanyeol, if you’re trying to let Sehun win best friend of the year, you’re succeeding,” are your first words, and Baekhyun can’t help the audible laughter that leaves his mouth.

It doesn’t go unnoticed by you, or Chanyeol. “Who’s laughing, are you—is it the Buzzfeed boy? Oh, is this is a date? Baekhyun are you listening! Hello! My name’s Chanyeol, and I’m—”

“I’m going to hang up on you, what do you want!” you hiss.

Baekhyun finds himself smiling throughout the rest of your conversation. He likes that you’re comfortable enough to answer Chanyeol in front of him; he thinks that if Maize or Kyungsoo or Minseok called him, he’d pick it up in front of too. He’s not too sure about Junmyeon, though, he’s more likely to embarrass him.

Baekhyun hopes he can stick around long enough to meet the rest of your friends—from what you’ve told him about them, they sound like just the kind of people he likes having around. And after hearing how long you’ve been friends with them, namely Sehun, he finds himself even more understanding of your dynamics.

Not many people get just how deep a friendship can run, so when he tells people he’s known Kyungsoo for as long as Kyungsoo’s been alive, their reactions are surface level at best. But you get it, because Sehun is your Kyungsoo; or, rather, you’re Sehun’s Kyungsoo. Baekhyun shakes his head at the thought—the point is, you’re both similar in that respect, and he likes it. He likes you.

“Anyway,” he tunes back into to hear Chanyeol sighing, “I just wanted to let you know I burned the bear, so our apartment smells like smoke, which makes Sehun and I homeless for the evening, so we’re at your place, please bring dinner.”

“What do you mean you burned it! Chan—”

“You know, as in we lit it on fire. Sehun also wanted to throw it off the roof, but Chungha stopped him, so we just did it our living room, and now she’s being a meanie and saying she can’t help refuge us because she has a ‘group project’ meeting at her place in an hour, which I think is a lie. Baekhyun, if you’re still listening, I want you to know that I’m not a pyromaniac—”

“—Debatable—”

“I’m not. Anyways, bring food when you’re done flirting, Sehun and I are hungry, and Chungs is leaving us foodless, as per usual.”

“Then buy food.”

“Do I look rich to you?”

“Yes, actually—”

“Hyung—oh, hey, is that _____?” Sehun’s voice asks, “Hey, Chanyeol finished the gummy worms, can you—”

“I’m hanging up!”

Baekhyun watches with light in his eyes as you hurriedly end the call, then sheepishly turn back to him. “I am… so sorry they’re like this,” you apologize, putting your phone back face down on the blanket and composing yourself.

Baekhyun shakes his head, “Don’t worry, my friends are much worse.”

“Your friends are smart,” you reason, “And quiet, and don’t break into my apartment at their earliest convenience.”

“Actually, Junmyeon has done that last one,” Baekhyun hums, scooting a bit closer to you, “Except, it wasn’t my apartment, he broke into Minseok’s. Let’s just say it didn’t end well for him.”

Baekhyun thinks the embarrassing anectode was worthwhile to hear you laugh, even if it was at Junmyeon’s expense. It’s fine, what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.

“So, does Chanyeol normally light things on fire or was this a one time thing?”

“You’d be surprised by the amount of things he’s accidentally set on fire since I’ve known him, actually,” you laugh, “But no—well, you know the bear I told you about? The one, um, Jongin gave to me when I saw him on Sunday?”

Baekhyun nods. Of course.

“Well, I also told my idiot friends about it, and that’s what Chanyeol burned,” you tell him. Baekhyun bites his bottom lip, trying not to laugh, but the temptation is written all over his face—or, evidently, so, as you chime in with, “It’s okay, you can laugh.”

Thank god, because Baekhyun wasn’t sure he could keep a straight face (or hide his blatant happiness). He decides right there that he likes Chanyeol. You have good friends.

Admittedly, after hearing you tell him about your history with Jongin as both a friend and a boyfriend, Baekhyun can’t say that he’s exactly fond of the guy. Junmyeon tells him to never judge a book by its cover, but seeing as you gave him the summary, he thinks he can fairly conclude that Jongin isn’t… the best person in the world. And the way he treated you and your friends is enough to make Baekhyun weary about him as a person.

Still, Baekhyun doesn’t judge you for talking to him. He’s not exactly jealous; he’s confident in your feelings for him and his for you, and above all, he trusts that you’re being honest with him. Quite frankly, Baekhyun doesn’t consider your ex boyfriend to be a threat.

Baekhyun knows you clearly just want to be a good friend, or at the very least, a good person to Jongin; and after knowing him for almost a decade—even if things got a bit bumpy—Baekhyun thinks you’re more than justified in that. You clearly see something in Jongin that you think can be helped, and Baekhyun trusts your judgement; you did pick him, too, after all.

Does he like that Jongin gives you gifts, and is very clearly still into you even tho you can’t see it, and don’t want any part in it? No, not exactly. But, on the bright side, Baekhyun’s the one that has your attention, and that counts for more than something.

(Not to mention you have a couple of guys who are both rooting for him and willing to beat up your ex at moments notice, so, he’d say he’s in a pretty good boat).

The only thing Jongin has ever had that Baekhyun wants is the opportunity to call you his. But he thinks he’s getting there. Hopefully. Is it weird to ask the ex of the girl you’re interested in how he got her to be his girlfriend in the first place? Do you even want to be his girlfriend? He hopes so.

He doesn’t know if sharing cheese and crackers and pasta and bread is any indication that you want to be his girlfriend, but he’d like to think it is. Because that’s what the next half hour consists of—you and Baekhyun, sharing food over smiles and stories and endless laughter.

Baekhyun finds himself laughing so hard at a story you tell him about Chanyeol and Chungha pranking Sehun, that he might as well be laughing over you. His hand ends up on your shoulder in his fit of giggles, and yours just barely above his knee. Neither of you comment on it, but you don’t pull away, either.

He’s about to chip in with a story about his childhood self, when he’s interrupted by notification noises again. Baekhyun grins at your exasperated exhale and tightly closed eyes. “It’s fine, they’ll be fine,” you tell him, silencing the ringer, and turning back to him in an attempt to continue your conversation.

Baekhyun’s about to tell you that it’s okay, that you should check your phone in case it’s an emergency or something, but he doesn’t have to; because it starts buzzing again and again and again and eventually is back to ringing.

“Answer it,” Baekhyun smiles, “Seriously, I wouldn’t want you to have to face Sehun’s wrath for ignoring him.”

It’s silent for a minute, while you scroll through your messages, and thumb a response. Baekhyun watches as your expression changes from annoyed, to vaguely amused, to concerned, to borderline unhappy. It makes his own eyebrows draw together when he sees the frown start to form on your lips.

“Everything okay?”

“Uh… I don’t think so,” you sigh, locking the screen and looking up at him, “I think I gotta head home, Sehun might have broken smoke detector and Chanyeol got… something stuck to the ceiling trying to fix it.”

Baekhyun can’t help the laugh that escapes him. You have really good friends.

“Fuck, Baek, I’m so sorry, this is—you did all of this, and my idiot friends—”

Baekhyun takes one of your flailing hands into his, effectively calming your stature and forcing to you make eye contact with him. “Hey, it’s fine, I promise,” he reassures you, “Really, it’s okay. If I got stuck to the ceiling I would hope Kyungsoo would come rescue me, too.”

“You don’t have to say that just because—”

“I’m not just saying anything,” he laughs through his words because the look on your face is nothing short of adorable, “I mean it. I had fun on our—I, I had fun, today. It’s fine, really, I promise.”

And so, you smile, demeanor significantly calmer, “I… should call a car,” you tell him, his eyes traveling down your enveloped hands, which he releases slowly, embarrassed; but then you grin again, tapping away at your phone, “I had fun on our date, too, Baekhyun.”

(So these were dates! Nice, cool, cool, keep it cool. He doesn’t; he grins like a blushing fool).

Baekhyun helps you gather your things, and moves the food around so that neither of you step on it; walks you to the door when your car says it’s arriving shortly. He waits with you on the doorstep, pretending to look out for a white sonata, when he’s really stealing glances at you through your small talk.

“Would you, uh… I mean, you’re probably already going, so,” you cut yourself off with slow exhale, turning your body towards his, “There’s this showcase, presentation type thing, for some students to, uh, present about their research coming up soon. You might already know about it, since Kyungsoo is giving one about his summer internship, I think—and it might be a little boring, and that you’re not a science guy, so it’s okay if you don’t want to—”

Baekhyun cuts you off by calling your name, a wide smile playing on his lips. “I’d love to go,” he tells you, earnestly, “I was going to go, to see Soo anyway, but I wanna support my new favorite biochem student, too.”

“Really?” You reach out and grab his hand, an action that almost seems lost on your in your flurry of excitement or flattery—or both—but, not on Baekhyun, whose palm suddenly feels warm. You must have been able to tell you flustered him, because your eyes widen, looking down at your hands, then promptly pulling them away.

“You, I mean, I want you to come, but only if you want—”

Baekhyun doesn’t know what moves him to take a leap, step a little more into your space, and take both of your hands in his with unwavering intention, but he’s glad for it; because you don’t pull away, and the look you give him kind of makes him never want to look away.

“I want to go,” he says slowly, dipping his head down the slightest, close enough to see the rings of your irises, even in the dim lighting of his porch, “I want to be there for you.”

There’s an almost inaudible “okay,” that leaves your lips, the letters rolling off your tongue with a shy smile that Baekhyun finds himself mimicking. His eyes flutter away, just for a moment, to your hands, then back to your face, before he slowly lets them go, only to rest them against your jaw again.

Baekhyun might be using the “taking things slow” mantra as an excuse for his complete lack of experience on how to navigate a real relationship, but this, right here, he’s sure of. That he likes you, that he wants you, that he—

“Can… can I kiss you?” he asks, just above a whisper.

His eyes are frantic, looking for an answer in yours, but instead he gets them from your lips; a soft, “Yes,” accompanied by a softer nod that Baekhyun would have missed if not for having your head in his hands.

When he leans forward, you meet him halfway, lips pursed together—and Baekhyun thinks that, yeah, if being in a relationship with you meant he got to do this, all day, then he would have to figure out how to be your boyfriend sooner, rather than later.

One kiss turns into two, then three, then four with smiles, and giggles in-between, and the only thing that seems to pull you away from each other is the honking of a car horn. Flustered, Baekhyun lowers his hand, bites on his bottom lip as you fumble to check the license plates on the car to those on your phone.

“I think that’s my car,” you tell him, and maybe it’s wishful thinking, but he swears there’s slightest twinge of disappointment in your voice, too, “I—I had fun, Baek, really. So, thank you, again.”

“Me too,” he says, words on autopilot, brain still stuck in the moment before.

He smiles, daystruck as he walks you to the curb, before you cross the street. He’s about to wish you well again, before you turn to him, and give him the smallest, barely there peck on the lips.  

“Goodnight, Baekhyun.”

He doesn’t even know if he responds audibly, he’s processing you in fragments, watching your silhouette as you cross the street, and head into the backseat of the car. He swears he catches the smallest wave from you through the window, but for all he knows that could have been his imagination.

Your goodnight kiss lingers on his lips, on his mind, and it’s only when he’s back inside that he lets himself break out into the foolish grin he’s been hiding all night. He’s going to have to figure out how to do that boyfriend-girlfriend thing. As soon as possible.

ϟ tag list: @artfulbarnes @bat-shark-repellant @baek-byunies @baeklooming-day @bbh-kji @cosmins​ @coffee-prince-kyungsoo​ @etsjusoa @exuwu @elyxion1485 @fifiaaaaaa @haechanspudu @honeyboocal @httpschoisan​ @junkfoodwriting @just-a-sad-writer​ @j-pping @kkpoptrashhh @littleflowercrown13 @loeytingz @marina-del-rey98 @mangobaek @miraculyfe @mochahyuck @oasissehun @ohwosehun @p-polaroid @peachesyeol @peacherparker​ @penguinsoo-l @rikachusworld @sakura-uji @shesdreaminginoverdose @sekshi-namjas @smolpeyy​ @strawberrychannie​ @takoyakkun​  @to-all-the-stories-i-love @vaiva @writingindaisies @xiutingmyself @yourexotextplus

ϟ more notes: more smoochies!! they have kissed a few times (maybe once or twice) since their first kiss a few parts ago, but i had no way of showing that to you guys so here you go!! they’re in a weird stage where they kiss each other goodbye and go on dates and like each other but it’s not exactly... dating? 

i hope this gives some insight into baekhyun’s thoughts, as well. some things are harder to get across through just texts, but i wanted to show his feelings beyond his overexcited, adorable messages 🥺 he’s still a whole babie, but he has complex thoughts!! 

i’ll finish rambling now, but there is an intended part 15C (which I know, sounds like it should just be part 16 at this point, but in a perfect world, I’d have been able to fit everything into one post but i digress). maybe it’ll be part 16 anyway, but it’ll likely include some writing because the xiuchen drama is back!! 🤗

[plush-rabbit]

Can I Ask You Something?

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |

You were online a week later.

It was a boring day, with a slow start and by night, you were starting to feel restless, your feet bouncing and an empty bag of chips rests on your nightstand. You were itching for something to do, anything to distract but no show or game could hold your attention. You throw your head back and gnaw at your bottom lip.

Your fingers tap against the keyboard, and with a glance at the time, you pull up the calendar for the group time slots and with a fairly positive outlook that that you wouldn’t run into the other team members, you booted up the game, and started a simple mission but even then your attention couldn’t be held. The game had already lost its spark for you.

You admit that you reacted childishly in response to being yelled at. You were always sensitive, you cried too much and took everything personally even if you tried not to but for some reason it just hit different when he had yelled at you.

You were so angry with him at the time. But when you awoke the next day, you were angry with yourself. You made that dumb post and now you had to hold off for a month to show that his words didn’t hurt you- you had a point to prove, you didn’t want to seem as someone who reacted so childishly.

You thought you would miss the game but having not played for a period of time, you were starting to enjoy your time. You slept a bit earlier, your back wasn’t sore from hunching over and you had started to pick up old hobbies that you dropped when you got sucked into this game. Picking it back up, the game no longer felt the same. You remember you could get lost in this game for hours, you liked the customization options, the weapons, and the soundtrack was pretty good, but for now as you wandered around a forest, looking for a crystal that wouldn’t be of any real use to you seeing as you had already decided to quit the game for good, you were grateful for the distraction.

But as the clock ticked on, you had already grown bored, feeling your joints become sore and a headache forming. You were about to exit out of the game and pray that none of the members would see that you were active but then a ‘ding’ startled you awake. You peeked at the corner of the screen, a familiar icon popping up. You frowned, your shoulders slumped and you debated with yourself on whether you should open the message or not but your curiosity won over.

<Tomaraki>

>Are you quitting the game or not?

“Blunt as always,” you thought to yourself, your fingers already typing at the keyboard.

<User_Name>

>Yeah:P

His reply came a second later.

<Tomaraki>

>Why?

You wanted to type, “Why do you care?” You really did. You had the words on screen, the cursor blinking back at you, but you couldn’t force yourself to press the ‘Enter’ key. The corner of your mouth twitched and you backspaced, the message disappearing and replaced by another.

<User_Name>

>I don’t know. I’m kinda sick of it, you know? The user base is p toxic and I know that can be said for most games but I don’t know┐(´～｀)┌

>Plus after taking a break and coming back to it,,, the game doesn’t feel the same anymore

>I’m kind of bored of it

<Tomaraki>

>That’s stupid

You let of a scoff, rolling your eyes at his answer.

<User_Name>

>I have been known to be pretty dumb

>I’m sure you’ve called me stupid before too lol

You watch as the three dots bubble up and down the screen, signifying his reply is being typed out and having no other form of entertainment, you take in a deep breath and with butterflies flapping around in your stomach, you type out more before he can reply to your original message.

>Will you be fine without me?

>You won’t miss your bestest pal uwu

On the other side of the screen, Shigaraki narrows his eyes. His eyes shine dangerously, and he’s positive if you knew who were talking to, you’d be shaking and begging for you life. Or perhaps you’d be dead. He’s not sure.

<Tomaraki>

>I have better ‘friends’ than you

“Ouch.” You cringe inwardly. “Strike one.”

<User_Name>

>Wow, rude much??

>Well if I’m quitting, do you want my stuff? I’ve racked up a decent amount of gold and other stuff:P

“I sound like I’m dying and writing my will, stop being weird about it. You never even meet the dude,” you mumble to yourself, grateful that the voice chat function was off. “Oh my god. He could be like super old or something”

<Tomaraki>

>Does it look like I take handouts?

“Is that a strike two?” You chewed on the idea of your cheek. “If I have to ask, it probably was.”

<User_Name>

Can I ask you something?

<Tomaraki>

You just did

<User_Name>

:////

You were about to type out your question, the four words staring back at you unblinking. It would be weird, right? Of course it would be. And even if you did ask him that, the odds of him accepting would be slim. Plus, if he did reject, that would be strike three and you really didn’t want to strike out so much.

<Tomaraki>

>Well?

<User_Name>

>Um,,,

>How old are you?

You threw your head into your hands and let out an agonized moan. Maybe you should just delete your account now. You don’t even know the guy’s name and he doesn’t know yours. So you could just delete your account and that would be it. You’d never have to speak to him ever again.

<Tomaraki>

>You’re weird

You start laughing.

<User_Name>

>Says the guy who would tell other players to be careful who they’re talking to

>Who are you? Light Yagami?

<Tomaraki>

>That’s a shit reference

<User_Name>

>You got it tho

>(ʃƪ¬‿¬)

<Tomaraki>

>Why do you want to know?

“You have nothing to lose really,” you try to convince yourself as a way to just get to talk to him more.

<User_Name>

>I don’t know

>After a while, I always thought of you as a friend

>The other members sorta liked me, but I think it was more of them putting up with me

>But I thought we were beginning to form a friendship so I don’t know

>I guess a dumb part of me thought we could’ve been friends outside of the game:P

Shigaraki stares at the screen in disbelief. You must not have much or any friends at all if you thought he was being friendly. He’s positive that he would kill you if he knew you in real life. Probably right away if he met you on the street or maybe he’d take you as a hostage. He’s sure that he’d kill you but now he’s not sure when.

<Tomaraki>

>You really are dumb

<User_Name>

>I can’t tell if you mean it or not

>Knowing you, you probably do

>Can I say good-bye to you? Like facecam wise?

He’d kill you on sight.

<User_Name>

>You don’t have to turn your camera on!! I guess, as my last like dumb wish, I wanna say bye?

>Pleaseee（/｡＼)

>I’ll promise to log out afterwards

Shigaraki stares at your messages, trying to gauge at what you’re trying to get at. Do you really want to just say bye? Who the hell gets so emotional in a fucking game? But he would be lying is he said he wasn’t at least a bit curious to see what you look like. Maybe if he’s lucky you’ll be attractive and he could probably jerk at the thought of you before he goes to bed.

<Tomaraki>

>I’m not showing my face

You smile at his answer. It’s the best that you were hoping for and you start to brush your hair out of your face, checking the mirror on your nightstand to see if you look presentable.

<User_Name>

>Fine by me

>It’ll be quick, promise:)

And soon he’s staring at the pop-up screen asking if he’d like to request a video call from you. He’s tempted to click no. He cranes his head behind him and once he’s certain that the door is closed, he accepts your call.

You pop up on screen. You’re cute, that’s as much as he’s willing to admit. You adjusting yourself, putting a strand of hair behind your ear before you realize that the call has been accepted. You look startled, and a shade of pink fills in your cheeks. You giggle nervously, waving a hand at the screen.

“Ahaha, hi!” You giggle nervously and he’s pretty sure you’re already regretting this decision. “So like I promised to keep this short and all, so I will.” You looked determined; you stand a bit straighter and take in a deep breath. You remind him of an anime character, someone with exaggerated movements and he’s positive that you’ve confessed your feelings to someone before in that same action.

“Now, now,” his voice freezes you in place, he reminds me you of snake, slithering towards their unassuming prey and you’re pretty sure that’s what he’s trying to convey, “what’s the rush? I thought we were “bestest friends”.” His voice is sickly sweet, taunting you with words that you’ve spoken. His words make you nervous, your hands clenching together and your stomach forming knots.

And suddenly it’s clicked in your mind that he wants to make you feel uncomfortable. He’s probably getting off at the thought of it. And while he is succeeding at that, you don’t want to lose whatever game he’s playing.

“Ha! You admitted it.” You swallow the lump in your throat and flex your fingers. “Okay bestie,” the way you say the word is like you’re trying to bait him into something, and even you’re not sure what you’re leading him into, “I gotta ask. Are you an old man? You sound kind of creepy. Not like a pervy creepy but like you’re gonna kidnap me and murder me in your basement kind of creepy.”

He laughs and you decide that you want to hear more of it- even if it does sound eerie.

“Do me a favor? If you do end up kidnapping me, can you at least bring me a smoothie from BlueBird’s?” You test out your luck, hoping that he’ll play along so you’re not the only talking and maybe it’ll disrupt whatever ruse he was planning.

“What flavor?” He sneered, playing at this sick roleplay that you made up.

You smiled brightly, as if you had gotten one over him, and surprisingly, he didn’t hate your smile. He’s seen all sorts of smiles directed towards him- crazed, trying to get into his good graces, smiles that held murderous intent but yours just looked happy, happy that you were talking to him. Illuminated by a yellow glow, his sneer looks more twisted, his upper lip curling in a twisted way and crimson eyes narrowed with revulsion.

“Mango, please and thank you.” You nodded your head, your smile wasn’t gentle as it was before, it was now playful, as if you wanted to continue this whole kidnapping scenario. He wanted to see how long this conversation would go before you said goodbye. For good. “Anyways, I said I’d make this quick and I will. I—”

“I’m not an old man.”

You laughed at his answer, covering your smile with your hand, and you looked up at him, your eyes brimming with mischief and excitement.

“Okay. And I’m not some elderly person either.”

“Yeah dumbass, I can see that.”

You crossed your arms and you continued to smile at him. “I get that we’re besties and all, but do you really have to keep insulting me?” You pouted your lips, before they broke out into a toothy smile, it was a bit forced but it was only to show that you were joking around with him.

“Is there any other type of friendship?” He genuinely sounded a bit curious.

“Mm, maybe?” You tilted you head to the side and he had a fleeting thought that you reminded him of a cat. “I mean, when I’m with my friends, we joke a lot but we don’t really insult each other too often.” You frowned a bit, your eyebrows furrowed before returning to the screen, giving out a half smile and shrugging your shoulders. “Thin skin, I guess.” A pause was in the air, too uncomfortable for your liking. “Are your friendships like that? Insulting, I mean.”

He hesitated for a second before replying, his voice drenched in fake nonchalance, “That’s a dumb question.”

You took that as a clue to not dwell on the subject any longer. You nodded to yourself forgetting that you were screen, only to hear him chortle on the other side.

“Are you agreeing that it’s a dumb question?”

You stretched your mouth into a nervous smile, heat lighting your cheeks as you racked your brain for a solid excuse on why you nodded to yourself. “Um, yeah?” You didn’t sound confident in the slightest but Shigaraki was curious on how you would save your own skin this time even if this conversation was rather dull. “Like, I guess it would make sense that you said that.” You brought your hands up, and shrugged them, your fingers curling inwards. “It was you who like really enforced the rule about not talking about your personal life so it makes sense that you wouldn’t want to talk about your IRL friend groups.” You leaned further back, your pillows providing comfort against the hard wood that was your bed frame.

No noise came from him other than that of fabric being moved around and scratching at the microphone. “Did you really just say ‘IRL’ instead of ‘in real life’?” He sounded smug about it, as if he had proof that you were a total dweeb. “I never took you for one of those people.” He said ‘those people’ as if it left a sour taste in his mouth.

You let out a nervous laugh, before it grew into a snicker with your eyes shut. “First of all, ‘IRL” is faster to say compared to ‘in real life’ so jot that down. Second of all,” you tilted your chin upwards, giving you a false sense of superiority, “you’re the only always going on about “eat shit and die” and “suck my dick”,” your voice dropped an octave, a poor imitation of the man who hide behind a black screen. “So if I’m one of those people, then you’re like the poster boy of a gamer gatekeeper.”

“It’s not my fault other players are shit.” He breathed out.

“Oh yeah, the other players are shit; it totally isn’t you acting better than everyone.” You rolled your eyes, shaking your head, your tone teasing.

“I’m glad you agree,” he replied, letting out huffs of air through his nose.

It grew silent once more, and this time you weren’t uncomfortable with it, it had actually felt nice. Comfortable, even. Well at least as comfortable as it could get when you couldn’t see the other game but he could see you and all your mannerisms. You clasped your hands together, intertwining them, your attention focused on the black that took up nearly all of your screen, save for your own square that held you on the left hand corner.

“I think,” you started out, the words heavy on your lips, “I think I’m ready to say goodbye.” Once you started, you couldn’t stop. A part of you wished he would interrupt and maybe ask for your email or phone number so you could continue to keep in contact, but you knew that wouldn’t happen. Whatever this was, this odd one-sided friendship, stayed and died here. “It was fun talking to you. Even if you were a dick.” You gave the man a smile, you hoped that it was seen as happy, teasing one. “I liked this one-sided friendship. Even if it hadn’t lasted for long.” You bite down on your lips, your teeth dragging against your dry, bottom lip and you reached over to your nightstand, grabbing your chapstick, rubbing the tube with your fingers before clenching it in one hand. “It was nice knowing you Tomaraki. Take care, okay?”

You didn’t wait for his reply- you knew that you wouldn’t get one. You scrolled your mouse of to the telephone outline, and as you were about to click it, his voice rasped out, telling you to wait. Startled you pulled back, the mouse jerked downwards, moving past the outline and you stared at him, eyes wide and head cocked to the side, waiting for him to speak further.

He hadn’t known why he shouted for you to wait. He didn’t even want to talk to you in the first place, it was your promise that you would leave him alone that even convinced him to accept your request but here he was, barking at you to wait as you stared at him with owlish eyes and a closed mouth as you gave him the floor to speak. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know why he sounded so frantic at the thought of you leaving and then quitting the game, any form of communication getting erased within minutes.

“I,” he started out, grateful that the screen was black on his end, his hands coming up to pick at his neck, “What’s that?” He was going to kick himself later, he was sure of it.

You tilted your head, your eyes narrowing before landing on the tube in your hand. “This?” You held the tube upright, a confused smile gracing your features. “It’s chapstick. It’s uh-” you turned the tube over, looking for the label where it stated its flavor- “It’s vanilla honey flavored.” You opened the tube and rubbed the chapstick on your lips, smacking them together. “Why? You looking for recommendations?”

He decided to go for a truth, knowing that it wouldn’t give anything away. “I have dry lips.”

“Oh.” You pursed your lips, and you scratched at the area where your jawline meets your neck. “I’m not knowledgeable about the different types of chapsticks, I usually like to get the ones that have a nice flavor. I had this peppermint one but I lost it. Are you drinking enough water? That should help too. You could also try lip scrubs. You don’t have to buy them, you could always make them at home but you’d need brown sugar for a rougher feel.” You rambled on, moving your hands around, and his eyes stayed trained at your moving hands, your voice growing distant. He could only hum in response as you continued to talk and mention stores that sold lip scrubs.

“Uh, Toma? You there?” You asked, your hands clenching and bringing them closer to your chest.

He raised his eyebrows at the sound of a nickname. “Toma?”

“Hah, uh yeah. Tomaraki is too long, I mean unless you want me to call you something else?” You seemed invested with continuing the conversation and he could understand why. You always craved attention- always undermined your skills, all so someone could praise you. But why did he want to continue this conversation? Was it simply because he had someone talk to him about mundane things, things that didn’t carry so much weight? Was it because you treated him as if he were a person first, rather than a villain?

“No. No I don’t mind.” His voice came out softer than he expecting, than you were expecting given that your eyes widen, your mouth pulled into an ‘o’ shape before you smiled gently at him, your lips turning slightly upwards.

“Okay.” You held your breath for a second. “Do you wanna call me by my name?” Your voice was soft, matching his tone from earlier.

He wanted to snap at you, asking why he would even want to but he couldn’t bring himself to. He didn’t know how to answer you without snapping. But you took pity on him, his silence deafening and you told him your name, you voice sweet and heating him up from within, the heat pooling in his stomach before travelling upwards into his chest, a momentary blast of warmth before it faded away. He tested your name on his tongue, the word heavy and foreign on his tongue. He repeated your name, the odd feeling being replaced by familiarity.

“That’s my name, don’t wear it out.” You smiled, your tone playful but still soft, as you sank deeper into your mattress, your legs aching in protest from being in a still position for so long.

He didn’t have a comeback. He remained silent, repeating your name in his head, the tone of your voice when you asked him if he had wanted to know and when you spoke it, invading all of his thoughts.

“You know,” you started out, stifling a yawn behind a hand, “if you had wanted to continue this conversation you could’ve just said so. I don’t mind talking to you.”

“You’re tired.” He opted to avoid confirming or denying your accusation.

“It’s late, of course I’m tired.” He suddenly took notice of the way your eyes were starting to droop, how your eyes would widen, forcing them to stay open.

“You should go to bed.” His voice was stiff, he didn’t want to continue this conversation but he saw you frown, your lips downturned, noticing the difference in tone but you quickly smiled, any features of disappointment being erased.

“But this conversation was just getting good,” You whined, another yawn coming out, tears pricking your eyes. “Hey, I got a dumb idea,” you said.

“All your ideas are dumb,” he muttered underneath his breath, missing the fall of your face that disappeared before he could turn back.

“You want my number?” You ran a hand through your hair, swallowing deeply, your mouth suddenly dry and the chapstick on your lips too heavy. “If you want, of course. You don’t have to exchange yours. But you aren’t obligated to reply to me either. Obviously.”

He hesitated to answer; both to see you squirm in your seat but also because he was unsure. Did he want to continue this friendship that would only end sour, that wouldn’t progress further than what it already was. He reasoned to himself that if the friendship was going to stay stagnated, what was the harm of saying yes? What was the harm of talking to you a bit longer?

He nodded his head, only to realize that you couldn’t see him. The only reason you weren’t reporting him to the police, calling and screaming for heroes was because you couldn’t see him. A hand reached over to grab Father, his other hand tugging at the skin on his neck, feeling the cold air of the room sting at the raw flesh. Your reaction to his answer gave him an odd sense of pride on how you had swelled up, giving him a wide grin, the smile reaching your eyes and you sat up straighter, asking him if he was ready and you began to tell him your phone number, repeating it to make sure he had gotten it down correctly, the grin on your lips never leaving.

Ten minutes later, your account was deleted, all assets transferred over to Toma. Your eyes burned with sleep, the blankets on top of you suddenly weighed a ton, and right before you gave in to sleep, butterflies slowly started to form in your stomach.

In a dark room, only lit up by the screen of his phone, Shigaraki stays up, his eyes burning with the need for sleep as he just stares blankly at the your number. He wonders to himself why he had even agreed to accept your number, but he couldn’t go back in time and reject your offer- the most he could do was not message you. He closed his eyes, his mind drifting back and forth between ignoring you tomorrow or attempt to have a conversation with you.

Tagged:

@rogueofbullshit

[queens-hoes]

so...the MLQC anime

It's the elephant in the room rn. We gotta talk about it!

First of all, shoutout to MAPPA for even giving us an anime of our boys, regardless of the end product, it's amazing that they did it in the first place, and shoutout to the animators and VAs that put a lot of time and effort into the show.

Now. We can all agree that this wasn't a perfect adaptation. Don't get me wrong, it was good, but it could've been much better!

A lot happened, a lot didn't happen, so first I'm gonna focus on the biggest issue.

I. The trailer

Naturally, it was the trailer that got us all hyped for the anime, like "omg that scene is gonna be animated, it looks so good!!! I'm so excited!!"

And then they just. weren't in the anime.

Y'all know what scenes I'm talking about too (and if not, @daily-mlqc made a great post showing the scenes that never appeared). Like, it's one thing to not include certain scenes/change them, but it's another thing to show said scene in the trailer and not include it at all. It's basically false advertising!

The infamous Chapter 10 Victor shot, Lucien's Midnight Date shot, the shot from Gavin's Slightly Drunken Date....all of them unused....all of them holding so much potential

II. The boys

Obviously, you've only got so much time. You've only got so many episodes. But when the story is propelled by "Bonds" and important relationships, not growing those bonds sticks out a lot.

The boys were done pretty dirty and we all know it.

Kiro was introduced, then pretty much ignored until the Hacker episode. I get that he doesn't make many appearances early on, but it would've been nice to build that relationship a bit more so we can really feel sad when he sacrifices himself to save MC on the rooftop. But I will say that his transformation into Helios was pretty good (but where was that phone call foreshadowing the transformation tho)

Lucien was done fairly well. His episodes were executed pretty faithfully (especially the Ares reveal), but towards the end he kinda just....disappeared? Which is a shame bc the scenes between him and the MC after she finds out he's Ares are so damn good. It was the worst in the last ep, bc she didn't even interact with him at all and he kinda just disappears?? He got slight redemption, but not to the extent as in the game

Gavin was done the best, undoubtedly, bc you can really feel the bond between him and the MC (that "wait for me" scene? Chills.) but it's bc of that that he feels so off in the last ep? Like I get that he's a changed person after everything, but brushing her off felt really weird to me.

Victor. I could write a whole essay on how dirty they did him (he's my fave, after all). I've already gone in depth on the episode 7 debacle (it still makes my blood boil), so I won't repeat myself here, but TL;DR they did his character development so dirty. Like it looked like they were really trying to sell us on Victor/MC in the last few eps, but it felt kinda off to me bc all the development just isn't there (honestly, I blame Victor's weak "overemotional" response to her almost dying. That scene is what drives their relationship forward, so him not being as desperate and emotional in the game...grrr)

MC is the real MVP of this anime, like she had a fully developed personality and cute/funny scenes that made her likeable and adorable (just think about it this way— she could’ve been like Yui from Diabolik Lovers. No one wants that.)

III. Missing Scenes

(Slight spoilers for chapters 15-18)

We've all got our fave scenes from the main story. It's inevitable. So not seeing a lot of them animated is sad, not just bc we like them but bc they expand the bond she has with each guy!

I would've loved to see Gavin's ferris wheel scene (Chapter 15), MC reuniting with Kiro through Helios, only for him to erase her memory (Chapter 17), Lucien's sexually tense press conference (Chapter 16), all the angsty scenes with Victor from Chapter 18, etc.

Heck, some dates could have been good to add too, especially some of Lucien's (Midnight Date, Crisis Date, etc. that foreshadow the Ares reveal)

And again, you can't have everything animated, but to completely cut out everything from these chapters?

IV. The Ending

Obviously MAPPA had to wrap things up quickly, but what the fuck was that ending? Not only did it feel kinda anticlimactic, but seeing MC turn into Sailor Moon and defeat Hades was pretty....weird, to say the least. I liked that it was her bonds with everyone that unlocked the power, but I thought the overall conclusion was pretty meh.

(Spoilers for Chapter 18)

They could've used the ending where MC decides to sacrifice herself to save humanity. Sure, it would've been sad, but it would've been such a way to go out, especially if she wakes up in the Eternal Winter world. They were hinting at a season 2 (that'll probably never come) anyway, so why not do it like this?

To be fair, I guess that would be unsatisfying to anime-onlys but bloody hell, I just wanted something stronger

V. The Black Queen

She was teased in the opening every damn episode, only to briefly appear in the last one. Well, parts of her anyway. Why include her at all if she's barely going to be incorporated? I was hyping her up to my friend the entire show, only for her to just. not really do anything.

In conclusion

I think adding a few more episodes would've made a huge difference in terms of story, pace, characterizations, etc. The ending felt way too rushed, the "bonds" felt somewhat flat, a bunch of scenes were missing even though they showed up in the trailer......like, I'm overjoyed that it got animated at all, but dammit I just wanted more bc I love this game

So what are your thoughts on the anime?

[bananonbinary]

I noticed in your tags you mentioned getting an autism diagnosis at an older age. I'm fairly certain I am but I'm not sure if it's worth it to get diagnosed because I hear people talk about how hard and expensive it is to get.

I meant to ask how did you go about it but I sent the ask too soon.

uhh well. it WAS really hard for me. i dont think my experience was super typical tho? at least, i hope not. (this is going to be kinda bleak, but i really don’t think it’s what you have to look forward to or anything. hopefully it could provide more of a roadmap for what not to do)

1) im actually pretty “““low-functioning,”““ which is a stupid term, but is relevant here because phone calls to strangers are basically impossible for me, and its very difficult for me to actually talk to People In Authority without freezing up and losing my voice. so i a) hit a lot of roadblocks that couldve been easily avoided by someone more outspoken, and b) had to rely a lot on my family to help have these conversations anyway. which i recognize isn’t really an option for a lot of people.

2) this all ended fairly recently and im still pretty mad about it, so it probably is a lil more negative than it has to be

the actual process was several years of nothing, followed by finally getting it done in a few months, and it was basically:

me: “hey the office i go to for mental health shit, i need a new psychiatrist, and i’m also pretty sure i have autism, do you have anyone who could help me get diagnosed with that?”

them: “sure here’s this guy” (guy does not know shit about autism, but waffles every time we ask and does not reveal that fact to us until several MONTHS later)

me: “hey guy i’m stuck with as a psychiatrist at the moment, i’m pretty sure i have autism, how do i get diagnosed”

them: “there is no way to diagnose autism in adults, and also autistic people are just spinning in circles and arent aware of the world around them, you aren’t autistic” (blatant lies AND heavy ableism lmao. i finally fired that asshole recently and it was supremely satisfying)

me: “hey my gp, im pretty sure im on the autism spectrum and my mental health professionals are fucking useless, pls help?”

them: “oh man, i love those mental health people :) anyway, aren’t we all on the autism spectrum somewhere? now, lets talk about your weight instead”

me: “hey local autism clinics, im pretty sure i’m autistic, any chance-”

them: “no. we only work with kids, and also need a referral from your gp. and we’re not taking any new patients at this time anyway”

finally, FINALLY, like 3 years later, i found a really great therapist, who’s also a licensed clinical social worker. for the record, i found her out of state and all of our appointments are by video call. highly recommend looking for this sort of set up if you’re having trouble finding mental healthcare professionals that don’t fucking suck in your area, because i promise having good therapy remotely is leagues better than shit therapy in person.

within like 3 months i told her i’m pretty sure i’m autistic, but couldn’t find any way to get diagnosed without my gp on board. she did some research for me, and reached out to a colleague of hers in the area that works with autistic people.

i got an appointment with said colleague (who was great), who basically went through the dsm checklist, said “yep youre autistic” and referred me to another doctor to actually get diagnosed.

that doctor sucked, and literally just went through the same damn checklist the previous doctor went through, but this time charged me $1500 for it, and didnt take our insurance. also said i couldnt be low functioning because i have thought about my gender identity. so, yikes.

but i got the diagnosis! huzzah!

and now my therapist is helping me to set up an appointment to work with an occupational therapist for sensory processing issues, so i can actually FINALLY get some goddamn help (which technically didn’t need the autism diagnosis but none of those shit doctors believed i HAD sensory processing issues until i got it, so). AND family is helping me finally figure out how to apply for disability so i can have some actual agency in my life. we’re also talking to that first doctor who said i was autistic, and she’s got loads to say about how antidepressants and shit dont even work in the expected way in autistic brains, and is hopefully gonna help me find things for non-autism mental health issues that actually, you know, work for me for the first time in my life.

the moral of this story is, it’s REALLY REALLY HARD to try and get a diagnosis if you don’t have a professional on your side. but if you do, it can be really good, and you just need to worry about the money issue. once i found someone who was willing to help me, even though she’s not actually a medical doctor or even in the same state as me, things moved shockingly quickly. and are still moving quickly. i’m really glad i actually did it, because i very desperately need help and i am very, very close to actually receiving it. most of the pain of this story boils down to me floundering because i had no clue what i was actually supposed to do, and no one i asked would give me a hint.

so...is it worth it? depends. even if you actually skip to the end there, i’m pretty sure the random ableism and ungodly price is pretty typical. so, if you think the potential opportunities a diagnosis presents is worth that part (which it super was in my case), then go for it! but if that doesn’t quite balance out for you, remember that there’s tons of good people with good advice in the autistic community who don’t care if you’re professionally diagnosed or not.

[sanstropfremir]

excited to see what you have to say about todays episode cause like the other person said, the stunts from the atz/skz/btob also looked lowkey awkward to watch lmao. i feel like the dance part cant really be judged against each other just based on how different they were. also the ikon/sf9/tbz rap performance was much more khiphop inspired while skz/atz/btob were basically "kpop group's rapline does a unit stage" if you know what i mean lmao. im curious to see if you're going to talk about the judges and how some of them were picked solely to have exposure👀 or if there might be a reasoning behind all of them (the dance girl i understand but like... okay)

also, i have to ask if you watched rtk and if you'd feel comfortable sharing who you think should've won/if the boyz deserved it? as a deobi i know its not that big of a deal but i was lowkey proud and stunned by them during rtk and while i think they're doing good on kingdom too, their performances became way too overwhelming/doesn't leave an impression after for my little brain 🙃 i love them tho. also not that you care but i wish they would represent more their full dance line, because juyeon is doing amazing but it can be mentally and physically tiring to be the ONE guy who does all the dance and center parts, like do it as a trio or smt dont push it all on him while there are ten others on the team

i hope you enjoyed my (very) long review and my apparently literally opposite opinions from everyone else! that’s a lie they’re not opposite, i'm just looking at very different things. thank you for also clocking that the performance stages were two different styles! i'm fairly certain the rankings arent out yet for that stage at least, so i'm not envious of the judges having to decide between two performances that are pretty much on opposite ends of the spectrum. also i did make a mistake in my review, i just watched the first half of the episode and they do in fact call it the dance stage, so that’s on me. my point still stands though, group dancing is still dancing.

as far as the judges go........why are we upset about them.....? honestly they all seem fine to me. i mean, i can understand people being pressed about s*ju because they make people mad by just existing, apparently, but that doesnt negate the fact that they have nearly two decades of experience in the industry. if they arent going to have changmin do any judging than they might as well get some other sm vets, since yanno, they did kinda establish the industry (sm, not s*ju. although s*ju is the first kpop group i ever remember hearing way back in like, 2008. in canada. before having a personal device with internet access. sooooooo). and i mean, we all have opinions on the separation of art and artist and everyone can draw their own boundaries of who they choose to consume the work of, and that’s valid. i have lots of those lines too. but you can’t deny the sheer amount of experience, and shindong is a director and music video producer, so he ain’t stupid. i dont see any problems with having a lineup of some idol veterans, a frankly incredible choreographer, and some producers. oh wait, are people mad about the rookies????? why are people mad about the rookies?????????????? huh????????????? have people forgotten that rookies spend literal YEARS training before they even debut??? they’re not incompetent, they’re members of the industry that have worked hard to be there and have valid opinions and abilities to recognize what they think is good?? also.......what’s wrong with doing something for exposure? how do you think groups get popular in the first place? fuck, the prize for kingdom is a variety/reality show! which is exposure! you know that’s how arts marketing works, right? if you want people to listen to your music, you have to advertise it to people. you need an audience. if a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, does it sell thousands of albums? thousands of tickets? why are you invalidating artists on the basis of wanting more exposure? are you worried they’re not going to ‘judge fairly’??? you know none of these groups' reputations are going to be hurt by their placement in the show, right. these are all high level groups already, with established brand rep. THEY are doing this show for exposure too. is this what people are complaining about on twitter?? so every stan account promoting fancams and comeback dates under hit tweets has to delete them now because artists aren’t allowed to do anything for exposure anymore. ?????? am i too old??? what happened to make people think that exposure was bad???

i have only watched the stages from rtk, and not while the show was airing, so i dont really have any context for the show as a whole. do i think they deserved to win? i dont really think anyone ‘deserves’ to win a competition show, but they did produce a couple of phenomenal stages, so was i surprised? no. personally i would have picked pentagon because they had the best vocals and also they took a few more conceptual risks that paid off really well. their cover of follow is a fantastic remake and honestly we need more dramatic remakes like that, ones that really change up the sound. i made a couple of conclusions about tbz in my episode four review that are relevant here (they’re at the end of the tbz section). although tbz are good performers, the problem is theyre trying to showcase those skills by being heavily conceptual, but their creative team is ALL over the place and nothing is landing. I dont think they’re doing terrible in kingdom, they’re doing very well, but their creative team is not providing them with a stable conceptual base. i know i make designing sound relatively simple, but it's not at all. i'm just smart and very good at my job. there are a lot of mediocre designers out there, and tbz just do not have a good creative team for kingdom. and i do actually think it's a shame that they’re fronting juyeon so much, because one of their strengths IS their group work. they have a more of a contemporary flavour than most other groups at the moment and they can do some really sharp synchronization that should to be seen more. i wish they had actually done group work for the performance stage, because we’ve already seen juyeon do a solo stage, plus he has solos in all the stages. give him a break and let the others have a chance to do something at least.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #300

that’s a lot of time wasted, lmao

If you were a witch, which animal would be your familiar? Could I have like, a melanistic barn owl? That'd be dope. They're fuckin gorgeous. If there's a design on your shirt, what is it? Ha, speaking of owls... Would you ever visit a ghost town? MOTHERFUCKER would I. Bringing my camera, too. What would you do if you found out your life was only a simulation controlled by someone else? I have a very much Detroit: Become Human (phenomenal game, btw) outlook on this: I think, therefore I am. It honestly wouldn't affect me terribly. I sure would hate my creator though, jfc, lmao. What's the scariest thing you've accidentally found on the internet? Okay so there is this one video filmed by some guys who had this really strange, sulking guy in black stalking them, and it ends with the suspected murderer slinking over to the guys (who were by this point finding it almost funny, due to how the man was acting) and charging with a knife, I think, once he was very close. I believe the men were never found afterwards. It is SO goddamn unnerving. Is there anything bothering you right now? Not to be a Negative Nancy, but when isn't there lmao. Thinking of every Halloween costume you've had, which one was the most creative? I never had creative ones, really. What's the picture on your calendar for this month? I don't have a relevant calender, just old meerkat ones on a wall in my room. If you were a mythical creature, which would you be? As much as I love dragons, they're targeted too much in fantasy to kill, so let's not, haha. Being a dryad would be cool. Or druid. Either/or. If you were an animal, which would you be? A housecat, ig. Were you ever bullied when you were younger and how did you handle it? I consider myself very lucky to have not been. Have you ever thrown something away and then wanted it back? Okay so it's "deleted" versus "thrown away," technically, but there are two senior prom pictures in specific I desperately want back because fuck my low self-esteem, I look beautiful in them and so damn happy. I even tried Facebook restore programs that supposedly recovered all pictures you ever removed, but I couldn't salvage them. I'm still pissed about it, haha. What's one random city you want to visit? I don't have a specific city, per se. More so just countries in general. If you owned a store, what would you most likely sell? I think owning a pet supply store would be really cool, with some animals that are actually very well-cared for, unlike chain pet stores. I HATE those, vehemently. So unspeakably ignorant and neglectful. If you had a garden, what sort of plants would you grow? I don't want a garden, but hypothetically, I'd love orchids, dahlias, tiger lilies, a weeping willow tree, some strawberries... What's your favorite phase of the moon? Full, of course. What's the song for your life right now? I've felt extremely connected to Seether's "Weak" lately. Do you believe that when you die, you get to see all your loved ones again? I hope so... Who would you be the most excited to see? DO I ACTUALLY NEED TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION?????????? Do you enjoy reading National Geographic magazines? If I'm like, sitting in a waiting room and they're available, I'll go for them. Do you know anyone who's serving in the military right now? Welcome to the South, baby. The boys graduate, they're going straight for the military. I only have one real friend who was one but left tho because he fucking hated it. Does or did either of your parents serve in the military? No. Has anything in your house ever caught on fire? Not in this house, no. As a small child, did you ever feel as if you were different or weird? Absofuckinglutely. I have A LOT of bad memories of instances where I felt like "the weird kid." Can you say "happy birthday" in another language? Omg... I forgot the German phrase. Wow, I'm rusty. What subjects do you or did you get the worst grades in? Math. Do you have photos to go with all of the contacts in your phone? I don't have pictures that go with any. Who was the last person to comment on one of your photos on Facebook and how did you meet that person? I just checked, and it was my friend Summer. I met her because she was actually first friends with my younger sister in pre-k, but we grew closer than they did in our teen years. What career paths are you considering? I just want to be a photographer. So badly. But I've felt super, super discouraged lately. Do you watch music videos? I pretty much never do, but rather listen through the artists' Topic uploads or lyric videos. I don't generally like official music videos because they tend to have other sounds/parts/breaks/etc. in them that distract from the song. Have you ever clicked on those banner ads that promise a prize for clicking? Probably by accident at some point in time. What kind of computer are you using? Acer Nitro. What kind of computer do you wish you were using? I'm fine with what I have. Have you ever had a weight change so drastic you went to the doctor? .-. How cold does it have to be before you put on a sweater? Depends on how long I'll be outside, but in most situations, in the 50s. Do you eat things off the floor? Um, ew. Who do people say you look like? My sisters. Do you usually get your homework done on time? When I was in school, I was very serious about having my homework finished by the date it was due. Have you ever framed your old movie ticket stubs? I've kept some, but never framed any. Do you have a digital camera? A Canon, yeah. Have you ever stuck something inappropriate in an electrical outlet? Bitch I ain't tryna get electrocuted. How many days has it been since your last birthday? My b-day is actually coming up soon; the 5th of February. Do you want any more siblings than you have now? Well, considering both my parents (and stepmom) are in their 50s... How easily shocked are you? VERY. I am extremely jumpy and on edge at like all times. You like the color blue, don't you? I mean yeah. Particularly the lighter tints. Who was the last person who asked you something that made you think? My therapist REEEEAAAALLY makes me do this. She's an absolute pro at getting me to dig deep into myself. Ever fired a gun? No, and I don't want to. From 1-10, how would you rate your cooking skills? Is 0 an option? Do you notice the heat or the cold more? HEAT, JESUS FUCK. It can be one or two degrees above what I consider stable and I'll be sweating. I'm hypersensitive to it I know from being in such a consistent temperature in my room like 24/7. Do you believe in miracles? Probably no. What hurts more: scratches or bites? Bites, if you're talking serious ones. Do you prefer rabbits to mice? No, mice (and especially rats) are absolutely amazing, intelligent animals. Bonus points for being mega cute too, though I do find rabbits cuter. Who out of all the people you know reasonably well is the most "dark?" Sara, haha. Favorite chocolate-based candy? Reese's. Do you call anyone babe or baby? My pets sometimes. Name me a food you used to like that you now don't: Peas, olives. Name me a food you now like but never used to: Mashed potatoes, IF prepared very well (by my standards, obviously). Would you rather live in Europe, The US, or Australia? By this point, take me to Europe. If it wouldn't be such a huge life change and leaving so many people, I would 120% move to Canada, but out of these, Europe will do. Would you rather have a big house, a lot of kids, or a high flying job? Give me the high-flying job, 100%. I don't want kids, and I have no need for a large house. Is crime a big problem in your area? Oh yes. What’s your town/city most well-known for? By the locals, being the crime hub, actually, lol. Name 5 objects that you don’t have but would like right now: Hmmm... I want a 40g tank as an upgrade for Venus, a gaming chair for when I turn the extra room into my "office" so I don't destroy my back sitting there, new glasses and a driving permit, and don't forget a gd tattoo needle pounding my skin. :^) If you were given the choice to choose your child’s gender, would you? Yes, I would absolutely want a girl just because IF I wanted kids, I'd want a daughter named Alessandra. Do you get along well with your family doctor/your doctor? Yeah, she's nice. What types of soups do you like? None. If a color could reflect your current mood, which would it be? Grayish blue. The last time you saw fireworks? I really don't know; it's been years, at least. Have you ever gone to a movie premiere? Possibly for Silent Hill: Revelation, but I'm not certain. Who was the last person to make you laugh out loud? My mom, because she made me remember something funny. What was the last commercial you heard selling? *shrug* Do you prefer fairly common names or a bit out of the ordinary ones? Oh, definitely rare and unique ones. Would you rather have a pet cat, dog, horse or tortoise? At this current time, a dog for Mom, which we're actually probably getting. She misses having one super badly. Is your laugh loud, normal or very silent? My laugh is loud and obnoxious as fuck. What are you interested in that most people would be surprised to know? Tarantulas, probably. I love them, even though spiders kinda scare me. Last movie you watched the whole way through? Elf, I think, with Sara's fam. What's your favorite fruit? Strawberries are where it's at. Last time you drank coffee? I've only ever sipped coffee to try to see if I liked it. Never have. I THINK I last took a sip of Sara's when we went on a breakfast date? Has anyone ever called you rich? Calling me rich would be entirely ludicrous. What makes you feel beautiful? Nothing. How many bathrooms are in your house? Two. Last time you were on a plane and where did you go? A couple years ago, coming home from Illinois. Favorite flavor muffin? Uggghhhh chocolate. Do you prefer stripes or polka dots? Polka dots. I tend to find circles visually appealing. Did you take Music when you were in school? I think all the elementary school students did. I was also in band in middle and high school; I played the flute. Why did you last feel like crying? I'm just sick of how my life is going. Do you find being alone with strangers scary, interesting, or indifferent? I find it either awkward or terrifying, depending on the gender. It's not a willing thing or intended sexism whatsoever, I'm just naturally afraid of men. Do your initials spell a legitimate word? If so, what? No. Does someone’s background affect whether you'll be friends with them or not? Well, it depends on what they've done. How about their religious background? No. If someone admitted cheating in a past relationship of theirs, would you trust them? Nope, bye. Did you ever want to be a cook as a kid? No. How about a fashion designer? No. Do you prefer fire or ice? Fire aesthetically, but ice is certainly less intimidating. When happy, do you become more talkative? OH yes. Are you offended easily by non-politically correct language? No, really. I wouldn't say derogatory terms, but I really don't understand why most people put so much weight into a single made-up word. But again, you won't hear that language coming out of my mouth because I understand that it just does hurt some people, and I respect that. Do you think the censors/fcc go a bit too far or are just right? It's gone overboard, imo. What's your I.Q? I don't want to know, haha. Have you ever taken a martial art? Which one{s}? No. Do you know anyone who is scared of you? Um, no. What person who has died would you bring back and why? Probably Steve Irwin. His children have done FUCKING FANTASTIC at carrying on his legacy and purpose, but I feel he could've taught the world so much more than he had time to... Do you like watermelon? No. Too watery. Can you remember the month of your first kiss? Yes, actually. March. What do you think is the most interesting thing about you? I'm unsure, really. Do you like being complimented or does it make you uncomfortable? Both. What artist's paintings do you find the most beautiful? This is an impossible question. What about the most disturbing? Oh man, I watch this one person on deviantART that makes especially creepy artwork. I follow a loooot of dark artists, though, so it's difficult to pick. Have you ever gone to a camp or summer school? A church-related summer thing, yes, as a kid. What was your favorite cartoon as a child? Pokemon was/is where it's at. What was your biggest fear as a child? Thunderstorms, holy shit. Would you rather be able to fly or breathe underwater? Be able to breathe underwater. What about invisibility or mindreading? Definitely invisibility. Mindreading would just... suck. Hurt. Especially if you couldn't control it. Which stereotype do you dislike the most? Good question, considering I hate a shit ton. Can you remember all your past teachers names? No, not all of them. Do you like talent shows? Which ones? I don't mind watching 'em. I particularly used to love America's Got Talent. Have you ever failed an important exam? In what? Yes; I failed horribly at my final math exam the last time I was in school. Are you on any meds? Too many. Just way too many for someone my age. I'm really starting to think I'm over-medicated to where it's dulling my senses, feelings, and also destroying my memory. But I kinda need like... all of them. I'm talking to my psychiatrist in just a couple days though, actually, and I'm going to talk to him about maybe trying to wean me off my OCD med, since I haven't had big symptoms in a long time. I wanna see how I deal without it. What color is your razor? Black and orange. What is your fave frozen treat? Just the classic ice cream. Which supermarket do you like to shop at? We tend to get our groceries from Wal-Mart. Do you struggle to say ‘no’ to things you don’t want to do? YESSIREE. Are you friends with someone a lot of people dislike? I don't think there's anyone that is widely disliked, no. Have you ever had to deal with someone close to you going off to war? No, thankfully. Other than yourself, who did you last buy something for? Mom. What's something you complain about frequently? My legs hurting. It's hard to ignore when taking one step is painful. Have you ever talked about your period with a guy? Were they okay with it, or grossed out? I certainly haven't talked about it in-depth, but it's been mentioned in some way when I was with Jason. I mean we were together for three and a half years, sexually active (and I ain't doing jackshit if it's that time of the month), and I spent as much time with him as possible, so... it woulda came up. I'm sure he was indifferent about it, he was a mature guy. Have you ever been to an Asian (any type) market? If so, what is the closest one to you? No. I've never even heard of one around here. Have you ever slept with a member of the opposite sex without having sex? Back up two questions, haha. That was normal. How would you feel if your significant other had tattoos? Shit man, I love tattoos. I'd obviously not care. How have you been feeling today? Depressed. Where’s your phone right now? On my chest. I'm lying down. Is there a certain person that makes you feel safe? ugh When you drink alcohol with friends, do you play drinking games? I never have. What are the best kind of Girl Scout cookies? I don't remember their names, honestly... but the chocolate and peanut butter ones come to mind.

[mochuelovelli]

ASOUE AU? ASOUE AU. Pt 1 (Characters)

Okay so I just posted a little doodle I did for an A Series of Unfortunate Events AU that I had been thinking about ever since I realized that Esmé was obviously Magica's VA (which was 3 days ago so oop). I don't have all the characters figured out right now (mostly bc quite frankly there aren't really enough adults that act so... neglectful towards the kids in ducktales). I'll list the ones I am pretty concrete on VS the ones I'm unsure or ones that I "reimagined" due to not everyone fitting perfectly in this world.

Characters that are Definite:

Glomgold as Count Olaf: Think about it, horrible actor/cosplayer (yes thats what he is). Both obsessed about riches, revenge and are generally incompetent. Really, Olaf is much more wicked in the ASOUE series imo (bc even tho Glomgold wants to kill Scrooge and steal his money. This anger only extends his wards if he wishes to use them against Scrooge and is less keen on the murdering of kids. Notice I said LESS). Not 100% if I want him to be as...well explicit as Olaf can be at times. Especially his characterization in the Bad Beginning if you know what I mean (pst it's child marriage)

Magicia DeSpell as Esmé Squalor: Like I said, this is a no brainer. She has the stage performance of Magicia with a bit of Mark Beaks Mom (forget her name) mixed in. Probably would downplay her love for fashion and replace it with an obsession with the occult. I would also not have her be obsessed with Glomgold, its more in character for Glomgold to be obsessed with her anyhow. It is also possible bc I tend to believe she is a more compelling villian in canon that she might take the place of Glomgold on the Island in "The End". But I also plan for Scrooges Number One Dime to replace the Sugar bowl so, maybe not.

Doofus Drake as Calmanita Splats: Duh, spoiled brat who is very creepy and probably has parents that want them dead? Instead of wanting to sing all the time he mainly wants to wreak things/people. He still definitely dresses up tho into a hodgepodge of things. It always changes and Glomgold is always annoyed by this but he likes him more than Magicia. She definitely wants him dead just like Olaf in the series (she really hates kids).

Duckworth as Larry your waiter: Yeah not much competition for this role. It was either him or Launchpad. Duckworth is too perfect for this role and he honestly will play a better spy than canon Larry. If I ever write it out a lot of the "fight scenes" and anime-esque "explaining how I fooled you" dialogue will definitely be reworked but still present. I will however not keep out the main theme of neglect or ignorance with the adults, they will still fail in that regard as always but will just not literally stand there and tell Olaf "We finally caught you, now let me explain why we are so smart oh no you set something on fire again". I mean...maybe for a Mr. Poe but not the VFD. Or...SHUSH I should say but more on that later (or in another post who knows?)

Scrooge McDuck as Lemony Snicket (sorta): Okay so OBVIOUSLY we can't have our "Lemony" have the hots for the McDuck siblings mom (yes another thing I must explain oh boy). Scrooge will still be gilted in love by, of course Goldie though I am still not 100% if she should play part of the the role of Kit Snicket (again NOT related to Scrooge) or should she be someone else entirely. Scrooge is basically the reason everything is happening in this AU just like the canon Lemony but writes sad letters to Donald and Della as well as Goldie. As you might of well guessed, Scrooge's Fortune is also the riches the McDuck's have.

Fethry Duck as Dr. Monty: Of course a snake lover will become a marine lover in this AU! Also of COURSE Mitzy will play the roles of the incredibly deadly viper AND the great unknown! Fethry and Dr. Monty not being mentioned by their family but also too enthralled with their studies to care all that much (but seriously thats fucked up ducktales). Totally made for this role. As far as setting goes this will be where the siblings will be underwater first but since the series already has plently of aquatic locals I will probably swap out the Lake Lacamose story with Peru or the Galapagos. Speaking of...

Ms. Quackfaster as Aunt Josephine: For narrative purposes it would make sense that Ms. Quackfaster would lose her edge as a brave and bold woman. For what exact reason I am still trying to figure out. Not sure if I still want to keep the "Ike" storyline, maybe she just got really spooked by FOWL. Maybe some creature from the Galapagos ate her leg or something.

Ma Beagle as Dr. Orwell: This particular role was sort of hard for me to cast due to the fact that Dr. Orwell is older and romantically involved with Olaf (at least its sorta there). I really didn't want to give this role to Owlson bc other than she isn't a bad person, she is also way too young. Ma Beagle already has a similar motivation im canon to want to reclaim Duckburg as Beagleburg so the Terrible Mills plot to frame the B for causing a fire in order to have control over the mill is very in line with Ma. I originally wanted the Beagle Boys be working in the Mill but since I am changing the setting to Egypt, I decided to use the people stuck in the pyrimid (idk what they are actually called) and will either use Amulet, Launchpad or Dijin as Cookie

Characters that are Mixed with others:

Huey Duck as the Narrative Role of Violet B.: I mostly imagined(?) the kid characters in a approximation of set characters from the books/series. For this reason, Huey plays the ROLE of Violet Baudelaire so that he can take the "inventor" occupation. I went back and forth on finding who would have Violet's quirk of using an object to help her think. My mind originally went to Webby since she has a bow and I wanted Huey's obsession with the Incomplete History of Secret Organizations to take the place of his JWG. However I reworked it so that Huey's JWG would act as Violet's ribbon with him having to flip through his beat up (and slightly burnt) journal to find a quick solution or just to calm his nerves. Something that applies to all the triplets and twins is that their last names are changed to "McDuck" mostly bc it sounds better that they are later called the "McDuck Murders" instead of the "Duck Murders" as well as Scrooges edited role in the kids lives. He has a mix of Klaus' social awkwardness and habit of talking at length about his special interests to whoever will listen. Huey is also the one who gets hypnotized in the Miserable Mill ep.

Louie Duck as the Narrative Role of Sunny B.: Pretty sure I swapped Louie and Webby for this role in my first post but whatever. I wanted to confusingly change Klaus' role into a "Charmer" or "smooth talker" (obviously still a work in progress) since I felt that Huey in DuckTales canon was always well researched as well a good mechanic and having two characters who pretty much fit the same role was... redundant. I also wanted to really make Webby's Sunny much more inline with her notorious/abnormal fighting abilities. However, I realized that instead of changing Klaus' role I should just change Sunny's characterization since I would have to rework it anyways since she was a baby. I also got the idea from recently rewatching the series and saw Sunny basically trick her way out of being trapped with the Hook handed man (i.e. Fernald). I will instead make Louie's role as what he functionally is in DuckTales (the guy who can talk his way out of anything). He would probably also say his occupation is "Defense Attorney" or something along those lines. He is also the one who gets captured the most but not by much. However while he still has Sunny's sarcasm, he also has Klaus' inherit skeptism and distrust of adults.

Webby Vanderquack as the Narrative Role of Klaus B.: Like I said in Louie's segment, Webby is changed to Klaus or more accurately the "Researcher" of the group. She is often the one who stays up late, researching ways to get out of Glomgold's schemes. Unlike Klaus though, she has more of the optimism of Violet but might not put as much belief into all authority as Huey might. She still has role models that she looks up to but isn't against bending the rules. She also unfortunately takes Violet's role of becoming "Olaf's bride" in the Bad Beginning. In the story she has always lived with the McDucks but didn't take their name and still had Mrs. B (until she was around 10, she was 12ish when the fire happened). However, she is still in the McDuck Will and therefore Glomgold hatches a plan to use her to get the fortune. She also tricks him by signing her name "Vanderduck" or "McDuck" instead of Vanderquack to make the marriage null in void. She is also a mix of Sunny since she is generally the most physically capable out of the children.

Dewey Duck as the Narrative Role as Quigley Quagmire: Okay honestly after a rewatch, I don't exactly know what makes Duncan and Quigley that different from each other. I'm pretty sure Duncan is the Klaus of his siblings but whatever. Dewey mostly just 1/2 of the reveal that two people survived the fire during the Carnival segment (which is changed to an underground wrestling theme for reasons to be explained). I am fairly certain that during the last part of the Village of Fowl Devotees I want Dewey be the one left behind with Webby and Lena that way we can have more time spent with him and Weblena/ Magicia v Lena drama. Dewey's occupation would be "Comedian/Host/Actor" . He also is the one the adults ignore during the first half and will be the subject of Triplet/only child jokes that the Quagmires face.

Gosalyn Mallard as the Narrative Role of Duncan Quagmire: Okay so like, no she isn't related or adopted by the Quagmires

Lena Saberwing as the Narrative Role of Isadora Quagmire: c'mon both these kids like poetry. Literally I can think of no other DuckTales kid that likes that (other than Webby but that was more of her liking Lena's stuff). She will still have her background as Magica's niece and might take some of the role of Fernald where he gets redeemed by betraying Olaf/saving Sunny. I am unsure by what extent though as she isn't going to be a henchperson of Glomgold or Magica. It might be that she is uses morally questionable ways to get what she wants/needs. Maybe she is "good" but has to commit a terrible act similar to how the Baudelaires have to burn down the carnival.

Characters that I am uncertain about or straight up don't have someone in that role:

Violet Saberwing as the Narrative Role of Fiona Widdershins: Like Fiona, Violet was also originally distrusted by a part of the cast (in this AU, it probably be Webby and/or Louie as Huey catches feelings lol). She is also obsessed with the occult not fungus and has to save probably Louie from losing his soul or something (wip). Violet more than any of the main cast of kids will probably act more like her canon self since she is naturally straight forward and booksmart. She probably gets forced to stay with Glomgold until her and Lena can escape again. Also since I didn't want it to be another underwater local and wanted it to relate to DuckTales17 a bit more closely I thought it be better if they were in the sky. Maybe Violet got the Sun chaser or maybe even the Spear of Selene. Maybe instead of going to look for their dads (since they are dead oof) they come back at The End to tell the McDuck Siblings et all that they might of found something...or someone important.

Boyd as the Narrative Role of Friday: This is definitely more of a stretch as really he is only Friday because in role only because I want him at the Island at The End so that he can save the siblings from whatever organic incident happens since he is still an android. I previously thought he could also fit the role of Fernald since he could go through a redemption arc easier due to him sorta going through one in the show. Its not out of the realm of possibility that Glomgold could have reprogrammed him to obey him (he might still do something similar I haven't figured it out 100%).

Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera as the narrative role of Hector: He probably won't faint as much as Hector but he will have to be pushed by the kids to be confident in himself during the Vile Village (which will probably change to a Capital city since I plan to rework FOWL into this). Maybe its similar to a military academy which makes having a set of rules make sense. Its also possible that Fenton escapes with some of the kids in the Sunchaser by the end of this.

Steelbeak as the Narrative Role of Fernald Widdershins: I mainly chose him because Steelbeak and Hookhanded man both most clearly are shown to be sympathic antagonists. They are still functionally villians, much more so than any of the children like Boyd or Lena who, yeah, have done bad things but in one case wasn't given the freewill to decide for himself or was but when she decided to stand up for herself she was literally tortured and had her freedom taken away (more so than in the beginning since. Steelbeak would, like Fernald, be making a choice as an adult man to be apart of a mad man's troop and was harden enough to commit murder if it meant he could impress his boss. But because he is not related to (by blood or otherwise) any protagonist I struggle to know where to put him. I might still have him defect during the end of what would have been the Grim Grotto ep and comes back with the Saberwings at The End. Maybe he brings Gosalyn back after finding her at some point, maybe he dies somewhere towards The End. Not sure.

Gladstone/Ghost of Christmas Past/News Reporter Lady as the Narrative Role of Mr. Poe/Mr. Poes Wife: wow this one is really confusing. My reasoning behind these picks is because The News lady would be a great pick for Mr. Poe's wife or at least a substitute as she has similar motivations in DT17. The biggest set back for her tho is that she has no reason to be on the Baudelaire case (or McDuck case anyways). Ghost of Christmas past is a bit of a stretch since why the fuck would he be in charge of making sure the kids had guardians? I mainly want him just bc of his motivation (or lack thereof) to do his job and being incompetent at it. Gladstone while making some sense that he also would be uncaring about where the kids go is also a stretch given he is a relative and he while he might not care 100% about their whereabouts he wouldn't lose them like Mr. Poe would simply bc he is so damn Lucky. Its possible to work that against him, maybe in a scenerios like where he drops off the kids but gets whisked away because some rando gifts him a boat. Still unsure.

Mrs. Beakley as either the Narrative Role of Jaclyn S (Mr. Poes Secretary/VFD spy)., Olivia C. (Librarian): I want Mrs. B to have a role which fits her being experienced and competent but also met a tragic demise. I might mix the experience of JS with the fate of OC. Poor Webby.

Justice Strauss as ???: I'll be honest, I am stumped with this one. This is a very important role to fill and I can't quite find an adult character that fits the bill of Justice Strauss. Mrs. B is too smart, Launchpad studying law while ridiculous, is something inline with the show but he doesn't have a DT17 motivation similar enough to Strauss where he's desires can be exploited nor has he really want kids in the same sense as Strauss. Drake Mallard is close since he is an actor but having him work with law is a bit of a stretch, I also think that making him somewhat bumbling is an insult to his character but Strauss is tragic since she WANTS to very much be the Baudelaires guardian but fails so much. Maybe in a safer world she could have been, maybe if they were luckier. She loves them so much, but they run away where she can't find them to at least try to be there for them and is left heart broken by the end. Whoever becomes JS is in for a world of hurt and I'm sorry. Goofy could also be a replacement, maybe Max died for more angst 😬.

Goldie or Daisy as the narrative role of Kit Snicket: This kinda gets really fanfic-y as neither of these characters really fit nicely into this role. Goldie definitely has the skill of Kit and her disregard for the rules but the pregnancy thing is... something. Not entirely sure if I actually want her to be pregnant but I also want a Beatrice II type character (of course she would be named Della II) but again very fanfic-y. Daisy I am more comfortable being the one who gets pregnant, she might take Olivias role as the new VFD recruit instead of Kits more seasoned one. All I know is that if either or both outcomes exist they will die also a Dewey Deanumont(?) Character wouldn't be the father it would of course be Donald or Scrooge depending who gets pregnant.

Jacques Snicket as ???: Another mystery for me. Functionally? Maybe Manny could play this role or even Launchpad (he really is just my go to for any character idk about huh?) Whoever it is will die but wont have a romance with the Olivia character(s). Maybe its Goofy lmao.

This is quite long enough, let me know if y'all got any more ideas. I'll edit this when I can since I am tired of writing. Please comment or reblog for suggestions and the like thx u. And please...Look Away while you still can.

[vaguely-concerned]

Some Alec Ryder Meta

So since I couldn’t find the screenshots of Alec Ryder’s dying ‘thoughts’, I went and got them myself!* And I am uh way closer to crying than I thought I would be, Alec sort of surprised me here. Let’s go! 

I was NOT prepared for his literal first thought to be of his children. And notice -- this is not his children being impressive or special or idk ordered/obedient. It’s them being happy and safe and playing and chaotic. I uh did not expect this, frankly.

I’m guessing this is where they used to live when the kids were small! (Would this be before or during their time on the Citadel? The timeline there is so hazy to me haha, I can never quite remember how that works)

Baby Scott on the swing ;______; I wonder if Alec is ‘there’ off screen in this scene, pushing him, since we start off with a shot looking over Scott’s shoulder like that 

Can I just say how quietly charmed I am by the fact that in Alec’s memories Ellen isn’t captured when she was ~*young and beautiful*~ or whatever nonsense -- she’s a mature woman, the same age as himself. It feels like there is something sweet and telling in that, like they were partners/equals in his mind. (This also makes me very uncomfortable to think he didn’t ask her/didn’t get her consent at the last moment on her death bed to put her in stasis, after the twins left the room at least; he seems to have respected her so much, if he went against her wishes that’s... such a breach of everything she seems to have meant to him and really should have been addressed more because it would essentially be his big sin as a character. So I choose to believe for now that when the kids left he did one last ‘give it this one last shot and I promise that if I find nothing within a certain time I’ll let you go and grieve like a normal fucking person’ sales pitch, possibly with prepared Science to back him up because they were both kind of weird like that and I think that if anything could have worked that would. ‘But think of the scientific implications tho babe wouldn’t you want to be able to find out how worked?’ ‘...You’ve got me there’)

More confirmation that Ellen had probably come to terms with her death and Alec Really Hadn’t lol. (Ellen might have just been grateful she lost neither of her children to the eezo exposure, actually -- she would have understood intimately how phenomenally lucky they were that both the twins survived and were healthy to boot) If I were to hazard a guess I’d say that Alec probably was in pretty bad need of space therapy even before his wife got ill, she was just his emotional support and he was intelligent and driven enough to hide most of it until that stability came under threat

:( this is upsetting. It doesn’t come across as well without the movement but he’s bowing his head and putting his face in his hands. Either Ellen when she’s really sick or when she uh ‘died’ 

I’m fairly sure that’s Ellen’s eyes -- and crucially they’re opening again. 

Mom and the twins :’) I think it’s pretty clear Alec did that thing some people (especially men) do where they sort of organize all their feelings through their partner -- “Your mother would have been proud of you, of both of you” JESUS CHRIST ALEC JUST TELL YOUR CHILDREN YOU’RE PROUD OF THEM LIKE YOU ACTUALLY MEANT TO SAY, THEY ALREADY KNOW THEIR MOM LOVED THEM FOR GOD’S SAKE YOU ARE THE UNCERTAIN ELEMENT HERE

ETA: actually this might also have something to do with how convinced he seems to be that the kids don’t need him -- that his love and attention and regard doesn’t matter or count, or would even be seen as an imposition (he consistently refers to himself pretty self-deprecatingly in connection to them, their ‘old man’ coming in and messing up their lives, like he considers his absence to probably be the best he can do for them? He certainly devalues his own impact massively, positive or negative). Meanwhile Ellen’s place in all their lives is a clear and uncontested positive so maybe that’s why he goes for her pride and her love like that. Again: who the fuck raised this weird dysfunctional man to be like this and how did he get away with it for so long haha

Alec and adult/at least teenaged twins! a) I suspect going to another galaxy with them to explore might honestly have been his idea of how bonding works, which... well and b) Sara is right behind him, leaning in like she’s listening and interested in what he’s saying and maybe even speaking too, and Scott looks to me like he’s sort of stranded on the side, looking in but not quite able to connect the same way. (This might be coloured by what I know about their respective relationships from the rest of the game, granted)

The same memory as before BUT interestingly --

the camera is turning around, like Alec is trying to get a look at his children’s faces and can’t :) this is fine and not at all illustrative of his entire deal *everything in my heart is on fire*

sOME observations: 

- These flashes give you more emotional insight in him than all the unlockable memories put together, and you’ll literally never see most of them unless you’re a freak like me, painstakingly frame by framing your way through it. That... seems like a waste?? 

- Despite his numerous flaws and shortcomings as a parent and as a person, literally every single thought he has at the end is about his family -- and not only his wife, all of them. There’s no place for his work here at all. That doesn’t absolve him of anything, of course, but it makes me sad that he never found a better way to show it, or to emotionally connect with his children, which he seems to have a real wish to. (”Maybe six hundred years can change a man”) Bioware... Bioware sequel pls don’t leave it like this ;_________;

- He himself does not figure prominently in his memories, and when he does he is faceless and vague -- except for when he is completely alone with his grief and Ellen is gone. I think there is something to be said about the fact that he makes all these huge inspiring speeches about the unknown and exploration... and yet his actual motivation is so firmly rooted in this immense fear of the unknown and of himself, of not knowing who to be without his wife, of not knowing how to go on living, of being alone. I wonder to what degree he knows this himself. (From what I’ve read so far of Mass Effect Initiation he certainly isn’t as idealistic about the whole thing as even the game portrays him, where he’s show to be pretty clear-eyed about the Initiative already -- or maybe he sort of is an idealist, under the fear and the jaded exhaustion. Either he genuinely believes Andromeda will hold answers and that science can achieve the impossible or he’s just too scared to consider any other outcome. Oh Boy tm)

- Ellen’s illness is such a cataclysmic event for him that I really have to assume he was never that stable to begin with. And as we’ve seen: When a Ryder goes off the rails they do so in STYLE and drag thousands of people with them to an uncertain fate haha

- My personal headcanon is that Alec used to be a better dad before Ellen got ill and when the kids were still very young; when all they really needed was to be held and loved and made to feel safe, and then became more and more distant as his work with SAM progressed and the children’s emotional needs grew more complex and demanding. Sara remembers this part of their father better (or clings to it more desperately, depending on your point of view) and is also more like him in general, being driven, competitive and intensely intellectually engaged (no matter how you play her in-game, Sara is always presented as vastly more A Nerd than Scott is -- its own can of worms of course but it’s there in the text). Meanwhile Scott has reached a resigned sort of ‘It’s perfectly plausible my dad would not be able to pick me out from a crowd’ place about it and given up on expecting anything more a long time ago in self defense. I think they’ve both hit on different parts of the truth there lol

(Also Sara and Alec seem to have bonded over making fun of Scott a little bit and considering him the underachiever of the two and like Not Cool guys!!! :( ) 

- Anyway Alec Ryder is a very interesting and immensely flawed character and killing him off and never meaningfully engaging with him again seems like throwing away a golden opportunity. Sequel where ‘Ghost Riders’ takes on a new meaning when??? I just want the twins to be able to either yell at him or connect to him better, as appropriate to the feelings of the individual player (I totally get why people would want to give their Ryders a chance to straight up hate him)

I think where it really hurts for me is that he clearly has these feelings, the capacity for it. There’s a wealth of affection and... tenderness? reverence, nearly? in these memories. None of his outward hardass needs-everything-to-be-under-control persona. And yet he could find no way to express this or even really meaningfully stay with his own feelings and his children suffered for it. It’s just all so fucking sad

*Courtesy of DanaDuchy’s youtube channel, which is truly one of the marvels of the internet; please check it out if you have any interest at all in Bioware games or indeed RPGs/games in general, there’s SO much content and it’s all neatly organized! If like me you want to listen to all the banter of every game... this channel’s got you covered

[yougottalovekyloren]

Until Death Do Us Part (Part 4)

A/N: Guys, I cannot thank you enough for all of your support! Although I know that  notes on Tumblr are not everything, reading your comments and seeing all the love makes me so happy.  I’m glad that my writing can reach so many people. :) If you have any requests for a particular imagine or series, please let me know! I have a few ideas in mind for what I will write next, but I am always open for requests. 

Have a fantastic day!

P.S..... 

I just saw TROS the other night....and holy crap, my heart is in pieces! the ending was... well, I won’t spoil anything. But I will say that that I wasn’t expecting it to end like this. </3 (a good movie overall tho) See you all next update :)

-M <3

TAG LIST (Comment or message me if you’d like to be on it for future updates!):

@angelias134 

------

The destruction that ensued the moment that Kylo Ren found the holding cell to be empty upon returning to it was beyond catastrophic. 

In all of her time serving the First Order, Captain Phasma had never seen the Supreme Leader fall into a fit of rage so destructive as this one. She found herself standing outside of the cell, standing rigid as she listened to his lightsaber slash through whatever solid object that stood before him.  

It only took seconds before his screams erupted, crackled shards of rage as they came through the voice modulator of his mask. The Supreme Leader was beyond angry.... he was devastated. 

He hadn’t been able to keep his wife and guests safe at the wedding banquet, and he hadn’t been able to sense Hux’s betrayal even within his own ship. And now... he couldn’t hold the weasel accountable for his actions. 

The lightsaber shut off. 

A few moments of silence that followed were almost deafening, compared to the chaos that had ensued previously. But they were essential, as the white hot rage that had blinded the short tempered man began to fade away, his rationality returning to him. 

Lightsaber still in hand, Kylo Ren made his way out of the cell and turning to the silver plated figure waiting near. “Do you recall the numbers of the troops who were on guard at the door?” 

Slightly startled at the sudden evenness of the Supreme Leader’s tone, the Captain fumbled with her words momentarily before speaking. “Yes, Supreme Leader. JW-786 and TA-887.” 

“Good. Kill them, but first, extract any information they may have of Hux’s escape.”  Kylo began to walk down the hall, the Captain following not far behind. “If they don’t speak, bring them to me. But first, organize search parties on board, and see if any escape pods have been fired. You know what to do from-”

“Supreme Leader!” 

The two masked figures’ heads snapped forward to find a doctor rushing towards them. Kylo’s heart immediately jumped in his chest as he saw the urgency on the man’s face. 

“What news?” 

“Lady Y/N has finally opened her eyes.”  

---

“I feel we must take your temperature once more, just to be sure.” 

“Only one more test, Lady Y/N. We need you to recover in full health.” 

Y/N sat quietly as she watched the numerous doctors fuss over her body, deciding whether or not a certain dosage of a particular medication would be more beneficial than that of another. 

She frankly didn’t care. Her mind had wondered free from the bed she lay in, drifting into oblivion as only one thought presided above the rest: where was her husband?

It has only been a few days to a week since she had seen Ben, but for her, it felt like an eternity. She did not know whether or not she would return after the complications only days previous. Y/N longed to be with him once more, to know that despite the possible devastation that the attempt on her life could’ve brought, their love would be strong enough to keep them together. 

A love that was far greater than any love that existed before or after theirs. 

A love that stretched far... across the stars. 

Heavy footsteps broke Y/n from her train of thought and looked up in time to see Kylo Ren entering the room at a rather rapid pace. Even with his helmet on, she could almost feel his relief radiating off of him in waves. 

“Out. All of you.” His tone was clipped and it only took a handful of moments before the staff had fully evacuated the room. 

“Ben...” She whispered softly, her eyes pooling with tears as he removed his helmet in a matter of seconds, tossing it to the side along with his lightsaber he carried in hand before leaning in to press his lips urgently against her own. Closing her eyes, the Supreme Leader’s wife happily returned the kiss, but winced moments later as a small sharp pain pricked her bandaged wound. 

“Are you okay?” his eyes reflected intense concern and worry, almost as if he feared that Y/N would slip right through his fingers. “Do you need me to call them back in? I-” 

“Sssh.” A small giggle bubbled past Y/N’s lips at his nearly comical overreaction. “My side is still a little sore.  But I haven’t bled through my bandages. There is no need to worry, my stars.” 

The anxiousness slowly disappeared from Kylo’s face at the use of the all too familiar nickname for him, and a soft smile pulled up his lips as he sat on the edge of the bed 

His hand reached to take hers and it was silent for a few minutes before he spoke once more, this time in a nearly broken whisper. 

“I really thought I was going to lose you.” 

“Ben....”  Y/N’s lips nearly trembled as she watched his eyes water with tears, one eventually escaping and streaking down his cheek. “I’m okay.” 

“You almost weren’t okay.” His normally controlled tone had cracked and her heart nearly split into pieces at sound of his pain. “I didn’t know if you would ever wake up. You have no idea how destroyed I would’ve been if you had left me.”

Y/N looked at him softly, taking in his appearance. His eyes, nearly always warm and fun of life when around her, were anxious yet full of relief and love as well. His brown orbs were red from tears that had spilled over the time her consciousness had slipped from my grasp. 

“You will always have me, my love. Beside you or in spirit, I will always be with you.” 

“No harm will come to you ever again.” He brought his wife’s hand up to his lips, placing a gentle kiss on the cool smooth skin. “You’re the only thing that matters.” 

A wave of uncertainty rolled over her, as the memory of walking on him during his conversations with the Scavenger played in her mind. Certainly that connection mattered. And what of his duties to the First Order? 

The Supreme Leader frowned, feeling her unease through the Force. “What troubles you? Do you doubt what I say?” 

“No...” Y/N hesitated before continuing. “But you have so many other things in your life that are important. The First Order... the Scavenger...” 

“The Scavenger?”  He was fairly confused, not sure where this was coming from.

 Kylo had not shared of his connection with the Scavenger through the Force with his wife, which he assumed would be better in the end. But it wasn’t as if he had anything to hide. The relationship was strictly platonic, absolutely no feelings existing between the two, at least from his end. 

Y/N’s cheeks flushed slightly and she looked away quickly. A gloved finger gently pulled her gaze back to face her husband. 

“Why would you think the Scavenger matters more than you?” 

“I walked in one day while you were... communicating with her.” Y/N shrugged slightly before continuing. “I just know that’s something we won’t ever have.  I don’t want to take you away from something as important as that.” 

Kylo had begun to shake his head before she had even finished her last sentence. 

“There is not a doubt in my mind who I would chose if it came down between the two of you.”  His voice was a gentle, warm murmur. “I love you. And you are not taking some connection away from me.  She will be no use to me  in only a number of days. There is no need to worry, my stars. No one shines brighter than you do in my eyes.” 

Y/N nodded slowly, her eyes sparkling with tears but also relief.  With a bright, rarely seen smile, the Supreme Leader leaned in and pressed his lips against her own. “We are going to be okay, my stars. I promise you-”

“I wouldn’t be so sure of those words if I were you, Supreme Leader.”   Kylo turned to find General Hux standing behind him, the Supreme Leader’s lightsaber clipped onto his own belt. 

A smug grin pulled at the corners of his lips as he pulled out a gun with his remaining hand, aiming directly at Kylo Ren’s forehead before chirping, “I think we have a few things to take care of, don’t we?” 

====

A/N: Another cliff hanger. You’re welcome ;)

[wondersbeyondcompare]

Some stuff

About Kodi and Majid’s parents that I was thinking about while making lunch the other day!  Really, this is just a poor attempt on expanding on the bois in general, but oh well! Thought it would be easier to put these thoughts in a separate post instead of adding to their profiles since this wasn’t directly relevant to them  (・・;)ゞ I guess?? dshgfjhdsf Honestly, I think this is more for me just so I can get some stuff straightened out. I’m pretty bad w/ consistency after all...

Majid’s Parents

EDIT (06/13/2021): Drew up some new headshots for Majid and Kodi’s parents! Hopefully they look a bit better than before!

Past me writing Majid’s bio: Yeah, keep the part about his parents vague;;; Idek what to do about that

Me on Monday rolling up some embutido for lunch: Hey, y’know what-

- Mother: Lara (won’t reveal her last name; when asked for it by Majid’s father, she jokingly suggested she take his last name instead) - Father: Kadir Ansari - Compared to Kodi’s parents, these 2 have much more info behind them b/c I have to explain both of their disappearances, so (・_・;) get comfy - Kadir---> Simple businessman in the Land of the Hot Sands; Made and sold jewelry for a living; Had a fairly small shop dedicated to his craft - Lara---> Runaway criminal from a land up north (if you ask me to clarify which country it is, I will cry;;; what does the Twst world even look like in the 1st place??)

 Didn’t kill anyone, but rather a string of robberies and prison escapes up her sleeve; had a large family that she had to provide for, unfortunately this landed her in a lot of trouble

- Lara snuck into Kadir’s place late at night by climbing in through his window

She was immediately asked to leave

Kadir eventually relented since she had nowhere to go/he already had a long day at work and didn’t want to argue

- Once Lara explained her situation to Kadir in the morning, she was asked to leave again.

After breakfast ofc

Use the shower if you want to, but don’t use up all the hot water

And he would give her some money and other basic necessities to use on the way, but (￣ヘ￣) that was it 

She really needed to go, tho; Kadir didn’t want to charged w/ harboring a criminal

- Lara begged to stay w/ Kadir, telling him in tears that she would do anything for him so long as he gave her a place to stay for the time being

Well... it wouldn’t hurt to have some extra help in his shop... and it would be heartless to kick a crying woman back on the streets, especially in broad daylight...

Fine. She can stay. But only for a little while, okay?

- When it comes to personality, Kadir is often seen as a serious man. He can become surprisingly raucous and joking w/ his friends and frequent customers, but otherwise, he was all business.

Has a fairly straightforward way of speaking; like Majid, he might come off as a little rude sometimes

His resting face makes him seem unapproachable at first, but he’s a pretty reliable guy

- Compared to Kadir, Lara has a more easygoing demeanor; fairly sly as well

Develops a habit of teasing Kadir once she warms up to him, either through her words or by constantly sticking close to him (this is probably where Majid got some of his clinginess from ngl); she wanted to see what exactly was behind that ever so serious facade

Kadir tries to brush her off most of the time, saying it’s not appropriate, especially in front of the customers; slowly becomes fond of it as time goes on

Tends to beat around the bush when she speaks; she won’t lie, but she won’t give you all the truth either

Oh! Yeah, and she’s pretty good at sleight of hand tricks too! :D These tricks seem to be a little more than just mere illusions at times, tho...

- Both of them are unbelievably stubborn (ah, yes, this trait comes from both sides of the family)

- They tend to butt heads a lot at the beginning; enemies to lovers 30k

- Speaking of tropes, these 2 probably become involved in a fake marriage thing so Kadir’s reputation doesn’t suffer when people see him bringing a strange woman into his house every night after work (*exchanging rings* “This doesn’t mean anything, okay? I just can’t have any more rumors.” “>:3c Okay, Habibi~” “... And don’t ever call me that in public, or I’ll pretend to not know you.”)

- It’s also a bit difficult for Lara to work at the shop at first

Kadir can be really picky when it comes to quality, and he certainly won’t lighten up on any of his wokers, regardless if they’re newbies or not

That and Lara can be heavy handed at times; knocking over display cases as she gestures to them and accidentally breaking parts of jewelry

I would love to say that she eventually gets the hand of everything, but :/ she really doesn’t; she’s entertaining to watch, though lol

- Once Kadir and Lara actually start falling for each other, they try to flirt in subtle ways, trying to get a reaction out of the other; or, at least, they think it’s subtle; oh gosh, their poor, poor coworkers ( ; ω ; )

- Lara might have had to wear some form of head covering/head scarf while working or out in public in general; her blonde hair and pale complexion makes her stick out like a sore thumb in a crowd, and she can’t risk getting recognized and taken back to jail again

- Majid... was an accident.

His parents were excited for his arrival nevertheless; Kadir would’ve bought a bunch of stuff beforehand like the worried father he was; Lara is happily spoiled w/ the amount of food she gets to eat during pregnancy (girl loves her food)

Once Majid was born, you bet he was coddled over; was often called Lara’s “little treasure”; Kadir was tempted to make Majid kind of like a mascot for his business, but decided that wasn’t professional (he really wanted to tho;;; thinks about it everytime he sees his son’s cute pudgy face)

- Lara was eventually caught and arrested; sent back to her home country for trial a few years after Majid had been born

Kadir leaves Majid w/ a trusted friend of his in order to attend Lara’s trial

He... doesn’t come back

The friend couldn’t afford to take care of Majid on his own, so he drops him off at an orphanage, promising to come back for the child once he had enough money to support them both

This man in particular works hard to set up his own appraisal/curio shop in the future and ohoho >:3c things are really coming together now

- Majid spent some time in the orphanage before escaping; he didn’t like how strictly everything was run

escaped enough times that the staff members soon gave up on him and let him roam free

surprisingly, no one (w/ a few exceptions) remembers baby Majid nor his parents; the Ansari jewelry shop was closed down and set up for lease the day Kadir disappeared; what happened in Lara’s trial was essentially a mystery, but perhaps the consequences of it could explain these odd events...

Kodi’s Parents

A bit shorter b/c these 2 literally had one (1) summer to themselves before creating the child, so there’s no slow burn here

- Mother: Colette Sepiama (Maiden name: Roussel; took father’s last name in remembrance of him)

- Father: Dimitri Sepiama 

- Co+Di= Codi (but, like, with a “K”)

- 1st meeting was a bit odd

- Colette was having a beach vacation, chilling as she collected seashells along the shore

And then some naked guy approached her, asking for help while sobbing his heart out

Didn’t want to find out what kind of “help” he needed, so she tried to power walk away, but he ended up tripping while following after her

Stared at the sad scene of a butt naked man crying into the wet sand for a couple of moments before wrapping him into a towel and paying a visit to the nearest souvenir store

He eventually calmed down enough to explain himself once he got the Hawaiian touristy shirt and khakis on (oh, gosh, now I’m getting Crowley flashbacks  (;;;*_*) make it stop-)

- Dimitri was part of a little “experiment” a friend of his was conducting, testing out various potions on him at any opportunity

Yea, they were a pretty messed up friend; at the very least, they made sure none of their potions would kill him outright

One of the potions gave him human legs (since he was a cuttlefish merman beforehand)

The trouble was: How does he turn back?

- They were the kind of couple who shares one braincell, spending the entire summer working together trying to figure out a solution to his predicament

Also, Colette lowkey thought Dimitri was lying about the whole cuttlefish merman thing, but since she thought he was kinda cute, she agreed to help him out

- I mentioned this before in Kodi’s profile, but I guess I’ll mention it again; Kodi’s pre-contract self was basically a male version of his mom

Basically, she was the type to always keep her emotions in check (well, it’s not as if she had a choice; she was awful at trying to show her emotions)

The type of person whose angry face and happy face were exactly the same

But she was kind enough and didn’t discriminate, even if the person she was dealing w/ claimed to be a mermaid from the deep sea

- In contrast to Colette, Dimitri is more like Kodi’s post-contract self

He cries;;; a lot

He’s just in a new and frightening situation, okay??  (╥﹏╥) And his human body was significantly shorter than his merman body, so everything is gigantic to the now smol boi; he often follows behind Colette because, even tho she’s taller than him, he finds her reassuring

Colette finds his personality cute; she likes being relied upon

- ahsghj I can imagine these 2 going on library dates, flipping through books and maybe falling asleep at some point as the setting sun casts an amber glow over them through the dusty windows, and it’s honestly the cutest thing

- Also, neither of them have magical abilities, but Colette’s grandmother did; it basically skipped a generation

This is why Kodi’s magic is weaker than others’, but he works hard to improve himself

- At the end of the summer, Dimitri is turned back

Turns out the potion only lasts for a certain amount of time :/ wow

They probably had some sort of tearful parting at the beach, w/ this time Colette breaking into tears instead of Dimitri

- Couple weeks after the vacation :D Colette finds out she’s pregnant

Realizes her relatives probably wouldn’t believe her if she told them the truth, so she fabricated a story about a simple meeting w/ a cute guy on vacation she hooked up with

I mean, she wasn’t technically lying about that

Bonus! Berenice’s Parents

A perfectly normal, perfectly boring family

- Cassidy is on the left and Argos is on the right!

- Since Berenice was based off the spirits in the whirlpool as well as the river Styx itself/herself, I searched up the parents of the goddess aaanndd

- Kind of?? Based them off Tethys and Oceanus??? Tho they are both of fairy descent; Cassidy is half and so is Argos, so maybe (´･_･`) that would work out? In terms of making a child of their own??? I didn’t want to go against the set fairy lore in stuff like Pixie Hollow, so-

- I always covered the tops of Berenice’s ears to avoid raising any suspicion of her true background, but, yea, they are slightly pointed as well. Much smaller than her parents, maybe abnormally so, but they are there (side note: if you saw me accidentally draw berenice w/ human ears (*⁰▿⁰*) no you didnt)

- They lived with Berenice in an area just outside of the Valley of Thorns called the Land of Lotuses, so there was a large fairy population here too.

- As such, Berenice never thought to question if the life she was living was considered “normal” in the eyes of outsiders. So you’ll often hear her describe her past life as boring and ordinary, both to make a person lose interest and just b/c she truly thought she lived such a life.

- I described Berenice as being an only child, but I never go into detail on what happened with her family after she died 🧐 Did she perhaps unknowingly gain another sibling? Or two? Or three???

- lol wait I just remembered I described them as getting up there in age. Maybe in human standards they were, but they were still considered like??? Middle aged??? When it came to fairies???

- They had no prominent influence in the Valley of Thorns nor in the Land of Lotuses, but they were both considered a respectable people involved in an overseas trade business when living in their old coastal town.

- Both settled down in the Land of Lotuses to raise Berenice and also to hide away from a scandal that ended up bankrupting their company but shshhhh

[emperor-of-blood]

I have a unique one. Comic reviewer, Linkara from Atop the Fourth Wall. For some odd reason, I see him being either a Doom player or a Heart player. Btw, advice for this, watch the storyline compilations on his channel. Sorry if I sound demanding.

I just want to start off by saying that this is so fucking funny. I will absolutely do this. What’s next step of this, classpecting the Nostalgia critic or some shit?

For those who have no idea who this is you’re in the same boat as me. I assume nobody else is going to watch the storyline compilations so I’ll give a quickish summary of who this guy is with a quick disclaimer that I’m not going to be watching the full playlist. Here’s the link for the playlist if for some reason you wanted to watch too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ru4jsxzndoo&list=PLxCy3y2-ZD2EMO8tW4FKYtvKAMLLS12ZE

After I started watching I realized I have seen his stuff before. One of my friends watches his stuff and I think I’ve absorbed some of it through osmosis. Anyways, let’s begin.

Linkara specifically reviews only shitty comic books on his channel. Interspersed throughout these is some sort of story that happens around his reviews. There’s robots that come to kill him and other random bullshit. Lots of it is poorly edited nonsense that comes off as him and his friends doing home videos back in 2004 except they turned out actually funny.

So I know exactly coming from when you say he’s either a Doom or a Heart player. I think I’d lean more towards a Heart player just because, while it isn’t because it’s on YouTube, it seems like this is almost something he just does for himself that other people happen to find entertaining. With Heart players focus on the self it adds up. As for Doom, considering his hobby/job is to subject himself to reading shit he absolutely hates and then be angry about it for a while he definitely falls under the category of Doom. Less “Suffers for his art” and more “Suffering is his art”. I don’t really think he could possibly fit into any of the other aspects. Maybe there’s an argument to be made for Breath but I can’t think of one. So with that said, I’d pin Linkara as a:

Rogue of Heart

One who steals [Heart]/steals from [Heart]

So, what does this actually mean? Even though we have a canon example in Nepeta, she isn’t exactly helpful regarding classpects. She doesn’t really ever do much related to it. People cite her obsession with shipping fairly often and I just don’t agree. Remember, relationships are the territory of Blood. Heart deals with the self and the soul. Part of those are emotions, which also fall under the Heart umbrella. Her obsession with emotions specifically in her case romantic ones, alludes more to her classpect. It’s a nuance for sure, but an important one. For dear, sweet, Linkara his focus is completely different. It’s the emotions that he feels from reading garbage. He’s so passionate about it that he made a YouTube channel just to share it with the world. But what is he actually stealing? Cuz that’s a pretty defining point of the Rogue class obviously.

It’s an awkward way to put it, but he’s stealing those emotions and experiences he has and sharing it with the internet via his videos. I’d say maybe his habit of playing several different characters in these little skits he does could count as splintering to a certain extent; more proof that he’s a Heart player. The skits themselves interrupting his main content, the comic reviews, could also be counted as him stealing from himself. He takes the spotlight away from what he came for to do other random bullshit. Honestly, it’s hard to comment on much else from what I watched. I can’t even definitively say if his love life is as fucked as canon Heart players are (Tho I can guess).

In a session of Sburb I think Linkara would actually do decently. He seems at least moderately creative, which is a huge boon regarding alchemy. It looks like he’s got enough stuff around his house to come up with decent weapons and I don’t think he’d throw Superman merch or anything equally as stupid into his Kernelsprite. His session would probably end up being rather normal and, dare I say it: FUN. I have no fucking idea what his personal quest could possibly be about. Probably something not related to his YouTube channel though. As for the classpect powers he might unlock... Maybe it’d be something like he can “Steal” traits from targets and hand them out. And you end up with a team of people who look like this:

Thanks for the ask Anon! Despite taking upwards of 3 weeks to answer this I did really enjoy it. Hopefully I’ll be able to continue this sort of stuff!

[protecticarus]

Could you write a brotzly drabble with dirk being touchstarved and lots of cuddling? Happy ending preferably but it's up to you ahdjabdh love your writing btw!

thank you very much! i’m glad you like it! x

time to venture into the fluffier world of fanfiction! back to the regular angst programming later on folks!

i’m not sure if you wanted established relationship or not, but this kind of toys with the possibility.

this is fairly short & simple. hope you like it tho!

~

Considering all the eccentric things that came with meeting and sort of accidentally befriending Dirk Gently, it wasn’t that surprising that it took Todd a while to notice the touching thing.

Sure, Todd wasn’t a very popular guy, at least not anymore, and therefore didn’t have many friends. He also wasn’t a very affectionate guy. Actually the only person he could remember voluntarily hugging in years was Amanda.

That is, until Dirk.

Somewhere during the time travel chaos the thought crossed Todd’s mind. Dirk was a touchy guy. Todd had had a hand on his shoulder, a thigh touching his while sitting or a shoulder bumping his as he walked more often in the past week than he had for the previous couple of years combined.

Todd also realized that he didn’t mind it.

You might think you’d be a bit on guard when touched on a regular basis by a total stranger who broke into your home and then proceeded to drag you into an insane time travel psychi- sorry, holistic, adventure but Todd found it strangely comforting.

Then Blackwing happened.

After they found Dirk in the trunk of the old car in the tree (seriously, what was his life even) and the two shared an excited hug while jumping up and down, screaming each other’s names excitedly… Dirk got distant. Both physically and mentally.

Todd never realized just how much he liked having the Brit patting him on the shoulder or leaning into him in a diner booth until it wasn’t a regular occurrence anymore.

Everything was so hectic with the Bergsberg police, the boy and creepy Suzie that there was never a good time to reach out to Dirk and ask about how he really was, not without being interrupted at least.

And then it was over and things were back to normal. Well, what they considered normal by that point. Including the casual but habitual touches.

Only this time, Todd was so glad Dirk was back to his old habits, he started reciprocating more.

When Dirk scooted to sit closer to him in a booth, Todd would make sure their shoulders touched. When Dirk excitedly bumped their shoulders together, Todd would grin and repeat the motion. Once, when Dirk touched his thigh to Todd’s while sitting next to each other on the couch, Todd let his hand fall down to lay on Dirk’s thigh. He’d never forget the blush that crept up on the detective’s neck all the way up to his ears.

Todd wasn’t sure if it was the fact that he’d become more touchy as well or something else, but Dirk became more and more persistent to have some sort of physical contact with Todd whenever possible. He became almost clingy.

If they were sitting on the couch, he would casually lift his long legs to rest on Todd’s lap. Instead of telling Todd to move out of the way of bicycles and such, he’d link his arm with Todd’s and pull him closer to himself. If he suddenly got a hunch, he’d grab Todd’s hand and pull him along to wherever they were supposed to head to next.

The biggest difference was when they were alone though. Todd would almost call it… Cuddling. It was starting to blur the line between platonic and… Something else.

One day, as they were sitting on the couch, if you could call it sitting, it was more like slouching, Todd decided to bring it up.

“Hey Dirk?” He asked, looking down at the detective who currently had his head on Todd’s lap, his nose buried in Todd’s shirt.

“Yes, Todd?” Came the muffled answer.

“You’re a… You’re a cuddly person, huh?” Todd awkwardly said. Not exactly what he’d planned on saying but he’d go with it.

“I am?” Dirk replied after a lengthy pause.

“Yeah, I mean… You haven’t noticed?” Todd asked.

“I guess not. Does it… Bother you?” Dirk asked carefully.

“No! No, it’s totally fine. Just… Something I noticed.” Todd replied quickly.

“Oh. Alright.” Dirk said.

“So, we’ve established that I don’t mind. I’m just wondering… You do realize that most guys, guys that are just friends I mean, don’t really do that. Right?” Todd mumbled.

Dirk stiffened a bit in his lap. “I-I suppose. Well, if I’m honest you’re the first man friend I’ve had, or any gendered friend for that matter, so, I’m sure you know about that sort of thing more than I do.” Dirk rambled.

“Right. I guess I’m just wondering… If that’s a you thing or a… A me thing.” Todd said.

Dirk sat up, putting a bit of distance between them. “What do you mean?”

Todd reached to scratch the back of his neck. “I mean… Is that something you’d do with anyone or… Just me?”

Dirk thought for a moment. “You’re my only best friend.”

Todd couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah, I know, but like… If I wasn’t.” He tried to explain awkwardly.

Dirk blinked a few times. “I guess I’m not sure. I just like… Being close to you.”

Todd swallowed. “Yeah?”

“Yes.” Dirk replied.

“Okay.” Todd said dumbly.

“I guess… I guess no one else has ever let me be very close to them.” Dirk shrugged.

Todd thought for a moment. “What about when you were a kid?”

Dirk laughed dryly. “You mean in Blackwing? The only touching that occurred in Blackwing was either grabbing or pushing or-”

Todd cringed. “No… No, of course not. I mean like… Your parents?”

Dirk went quiet for a moment. “I don’t remember time before Blackwing very well. But from what I do I gather there wasn’t a lot of… Closeness.” Dirk mumbled.

“Like… Your parents didn’t hug you or… I don’t know, hold your hand or something?” Todd asked.

Dirk shrugged. “Not that I remember. They would’ve been the only people to do that before you but I don’t think they did. I’m fairly certain they didn’t.”

Suddenly it dawned on Todd. He might be the only person who’s ever hugged Dirk. Or held his hand. Or casually patted him on the shoulder. Or be close to him at all, at least without a threat of violence… If you didn’t count Farah or Amanda. And they weren’t very touchy people in general.

Todd sighed and turned to fully face Dirk. “You know… There’s like studies and stuff about how important touch is to children.”

Dirk looked confused. “Alright. Well, I’m not a child.”

Todd laughed. “Yeah, I know, but you were. And you had a… Very strange childhood.”

Dirk laughed too. “That’s one way to put it.”

Todd smiled. “What I mean is… It makes sense that you’d crave that kind of contact now. Since you, you know… Didn’t have that before. As a kid.”

Dirk’s brows furrowed as he weighed Todd’s words. “I suppose.”

“Well, anyway, I’m glad to, you know… Give you that.” Todd replied awkwardly.

Dirk smiled. “Thank you.”

Todd thought for a moment and then leaned over to wrap his arms around Dirk. Dirk’s arms came up to wrap themselves around Todd in return.

“I do like this.” Dirk whispered.

Todd blushed. “Yeah, it’s alright.”

They stayed like that for a while, a comfortable silence surrounding them. At some point they'd shifted to lean against the back of the couch, still holding each other, their legs now tangled together, hanging off the couch.

After a while, Dirk spoke up again.

“It might be a Dirk thing, but it might also be a little bit of a Todd thing.”

Todd hid his grin into Dirk’s shoulder.

~

if you have any ideas for fics, send me prompts! my inbox is always open! x

[metalchickaf19]

The Bowers Gang: Ship #13 - Belch Huggins

Request: Hi, how are you? I'd requested a ship before but it probably got lost so I'll re-send it 😊 I'm a 5'6 very skinny girl with hair half black half green. I never leave my house without eyeliner on and my headphones. I make mistakes speaking english cause my og language is spanish so I'm a bit shy when I first meet people but once you get to know me I'm really outgoing and I joke a lot. I'm kinda dirty minded but I tend to get embarrassed when they joke about it and my face goes all red +  like painting on my clothes, mostly on my jeans. I love music as well, can't spend a day without listening to anything at all. I enjoy eating and I do so perhaps more often than necessary, my favorite foods are hamburgers and whatever my mom makes. I like to sing and dance tho I'm not very good at that last one. I also can't be mean to people even tho they've told me I look intimidating (but I don't think so haha) but I don't take any bullshit from anyone. Thank you so much in advance💜

Okay, one thing needs to be said right off the bat: 

You choosing to hook up with Belch was an unprecedented win for him, and it’s kind of the greatest thing ever

Belch, Victor, and Patrick had a legit dog-fight when it came to who would get with you first, and do you know what Belch thought his odds were of winning that dog-fight?

- 5. He thought he had - 5 chances of winning you.

But, by some miracle, you ended up selecting our lovable teddy bear in the end, and now get to thrive off of his goofish ways 

* Good choice, just so you know - Belch is largely underappreciated by the women-folk, and they have no idea what they’re missing *

Hockstetter still tries to get in your pants on a regular basis, of course (dog-fights never end for literal dogs), but hey, it’s a fairly grope-free life for the most part

*Annoying, fairly immediate side-note*

Henry originally rejected you on the basis of your race (so many ignorant comments hurled from across the halls), but was basically forced to “accept” you into the group when all the rest of the guys developed an interest in you apart from him

... Seriously, it was kind of hilarious - Bowers was left to stand alone on his little island of hate for once, and none of the other guys would give him the time of day about it  

Got used to you being around the gang pretty quickly in the end though, because Henry’s level of racism (at least, where girls are concerned) is completely dependent upon whether or not he finds a person hot

And he knows damn well he thinks you’re easy on the eyes 

We’ll keep that little tidbit on the DL for now, though - wouldn’t want the citizens of Derry to know that Henry Bowers isn’t too skilled at genuine intolerance, now would we?

*Annoying, fairly immediate side-note over*

All the guys have a running joke that you’re a witch, because hair color choices 

Yes, Patrick was the first one to bring it up, and then it spread to the rest of the group - if you want to massacre someone over it, massacre him (please do it, I beg you)

Belch sometimes asks you to paint band logos on his T-shirts (mostly Slayer and Black Sabbath)

In return, has taken a pair of your jeans on two separate occasions to try and paint something special on them for you

... It did not turn out well in either case 

One pair got ruined when he spilled his dirty paintbrush water all over the backside (tried to give them back to you saying they were “tie-dyed”)...

... and the other pair got stolen by Patrick, who wrote “Property of The Bowers Gang” on the waistband in bright red sharpie 

That pair (the pair that was desecrated by Hockstetter) just so happened to be your favorite pair of jeans

... Meaning Belch didn’t want to tell you what Patrick had done to them for a long time

... Meaning, whenever you wore them, you walked around with “Property of the Bowers Gang” on your butt without knowing it until Patrick saw you wear that pair to school one day and d i e d

D i e d in the middle of the Derry high school upper-floor hallway

Remains one of Hockstetter’s favorite moments to this day, and we all hate him for it

Please don’t blame Belch, though; he just wanted to show his love through artistry 

Finds it friggin’ adorable whenever you mess up your English, to the point of having to verbalize his feelings in some way every time it happens (You: “*Flubs a word in the middle of your sentence*” Belch: *Trying to hold in his love for you, and ultimately failing* “... Awwww, baaabe.” *Gargantuan head-kiss followed by delighted Huggins chuckle*)  

... Patrick and Henry make fun of you about it like nobody’s business though

You knew this was coming - please don’t come for me

Every time you mess up your English in front of them, you hear a new illegal immigration joke (”You sure you’re where you belong, sweetie? ‘Cause I think I’m hearin’ more taco than bald eagle right about now.” *Ultra-annoying Hockstetter cackle followed by ultra-obnoxious Bowers chuckle*)

Yeah...have fun with that wear on your psyche

Alright, now gurl - you know you’re in the right place if eating is an activity you enjoy 

Welcome to a relationship with Belch Huggins, where food is the only thing you love as much as you love each other, if not more 

Belch has been over to your house many times for dinner, because he straight-up loves your Mom’s cooking 

Always shows up early to help in the kitchen, and always stays late to help clear the dishes afterwards (aka: your Mom loves him)

Pretty much down for anything (you’ve seen him slurp oysters like an all-out beast), but fishes for an invitation hardcore when he knows your Mom will be making traditional spanish cuisine for that night’s meal

Huggins loves that mess

... To the point where he once got caught spooning fried rice into a little tupperware container he snuck in with him, but please don’t hold it against him 

Belch just saw a lot of good food, and had no concept of the “to go” plate 

Once a week, you guys go on a date to a restaurant you haven’t been to before - your goal is to try every restaurant in town 

You both basically order the same things everywhere you go (some variation of burgers and/or chicken tenders), but it’s given you reason to explore new parts of Derry, so yay 

*Nice, emotionally poignant side-note*

Victor harbors a huge crush on you from the very beginning of your relationship (i.e. le dog-fight)

Would never act on it (because he truly loves Belch), but tends to make it obvious by accident with his soft boi eyes

Often steals glances at you within the group

Like Belch, thinks it’s sooo cute whenever you mess up your English, and sometimes tries to make it happen in the classes you share together (asks you to read him the questions off of worksheets, asks you to read him certain passages from your book that he knows have difficult words, etc.)

But again - purely in the interest of satisfying his craving from afar

Criss will look at you with googly eyes forever, but he shall never touch you because gentleman 

*Nice, emotionally poignant side-note over*

All the guys love it whenever you get angry at someone, because you sometimes start yelling at them in “spanglish”

Patrick always makes a crack about it (he’s the one you’re yelling at most of the time, and we’re not at all surprised), but it literally turns all of them on faster than a special-edition Playboy 

Have fun knowing you hold that much power over them through your choice of words alone 

Also Belch asks you to sing for him sometimes when you’re alone together 

Primarily when he’s had a rough day, and just wants to drift off to sleep - he loves it even more when it’s a song in your original language 

Rub his back while you do it, and you’ll be repaid ten-fold in Huggins’ sweetness the next day, I promise you 

Overall, a very cute relationship that works well with the rest of the group

Kind of intimidating that 3 out of the 4 guys high-key want to fuck you, but hey, some people would consider you lucky 

It’s me. I consider you lucky.

[vivacia-18]

May the 4th be with you recs!

Because fanfic is the reason I’m finally getting into Star Wars after all these years XDD

I’m gonna include the fic summaries and my takes, so plopping these under a cut for length. If you haven’t already read these, please go give them some love. And if you have, go give them some more! XD

I’m a fix-it, (at least mostly) everybody lives and (hopefully) nobody dies kinda gal, so while I certainly like something that hits in the feels, I don’t care for angst with no payoff at the end. Many of these are ongoing, but I’m confident enough in the overall feel of them to rec with that in mind. I also like long fics, so most of my recs will reflect that. 

Hunting Towards Heartstill by blackkat

Pairing: Mace Windu/ CC-2224 Cody

Status: Complete, 45 chapters

Summary: Plo has an idea. Mace agrees, and everything snowballs right into hell from there.

(Or: Mace and Cody get married in order to give the clones citizen status. Before they can focus on that, though, they're going to have to deal with ancient Sith artifacts, evil prophets, plots to overthrow the Supreme Chancellor, lost planets, monsters warped by Sith alchemy, inconvenient feelings, and Darth Sidious turning his eye on a potential new apprentice. Just...not in that order.)

Notes: Kat’s going to have her whole section recc’d in a minute, but this one is near and dear to my heart, so it get’s a special spot. This is the one that got me into the Star Wars fandom at all. And by “into the fandom” I mean I have never seen/read a single piece of Star Wars media outside of gifsets and funky graphic t-shirts in my entire life. And now here we are XDD

In short, as with anything kat writes, the characterization is top-notch, the wit even more so, and the feels will leave you broken to pieces only to bring you back together better than when you started at the end of it all. Enjoy <3

All of blackkat’s Star Wars fics, by she who never expected to be a part of this fandom so everyone thank sol for being a bastard and cher for having terrible, amazing, tempting, too-good prompts XD

Notes: As promised, I did indeed just link all of blackkats Star Wars fics XD Most are one shots, with several longer ongoing, and one very special one complete. Pairings and settings will vary, but I can promise you one thing: you can absolutely trust kat with your heart, no matter how angsty it seems (tho take those cliffie warnings seriously!). Enjoy, and may the Force be with you! <3

The Hero With a Thousand Faces by beamirang 

Pairing: Jango/Obi-Wan 

Status: Part 1 is a one-shot prologue, part 2 ongoing

Summary: “We’re going to kidnap a Jedi?” Boba sounds far more excited by the prospect than most twelve-year-olds probably should. And, because he’s Jango’s boy, because he’s too kriffing smart for his own good, he catches on way too quickly. “Wait. Are we kidnapping your Jedi?”

Notes: Fantastic characterization and writing - very witty (as one would expect with Obi and Fett XD) but also excellent on the heavier emotional aspects as well. 

The Desert Storm by Blue_Sunshine

Pairing: None

Status: 17 parts complete, part 18 ongoing

Summary: In Tatooine legend, the sandstorm is Lukka, the Fury, both cleansing and damning. Lukka, the slaves believed, was Justice, was he who remade the world, and remade the soul.The storm screams at him, and Obi-Wan Kenobi screams back.

Notes: It’s a time travel fic! It’s one of my favourite tropes when done correctly, and this one certainly does :) Love the characters, they have so much depth and growth over the series. And while this far it is 100% a “everybody lives nobody dies” kinda story, there is no sacrifice in plot or narrative tension. Wonderful proof that there can be other narrative stakes in a story than just character death. 

Under One Flag by NeurotropicAgentX

Pairing: Padme Amidala/Obi-Wan Kenobi/Darth Maul

Status: Two single chapter parts. Marked as incomplete with no further updates since 2017, but the chapters stand alone, no cliffhangers. 

Summary: The story of how Padmé Amidala becomes the reluctant Empress of the galaxy and acquires a pair of Force-sensitive bodyguards. Deals with the light and dark side conflict, the politics of an Empire, and Dathomirian Culture.

Notes: A fun little read! The dynamics between the three were interesting, and who doesn’t love the idea of Empress Padme? :D

By A Barista by Tomatosoupful

Pairing: Obi-Wan/Anakin

Status: Complete, 7 chapters

Summary: Obi-Wan/Anakin, Modern Coffee Shop AU unapologetically set in Australia. Some Star Wars story lines and character arcs adapted into modern coffee versions.Anakin doesn't really know why Qui-Gon hired him despite having no experience in coffee making or table service, and he knows this bothers the barista, Obi-Wan, but hey, at least he gets to look at the handsome guy while he complains.

Notes: Another fun little read! I love social disaster Ani in modern settings, ngl XD 

The Snowball Effect by Ghost_Owl

Pairing: Obi-Wan/Anakin

Status: Complete, 2 chapters

Summary: Anakin had not meant to nail the cute guy from his building in the face with a snowball.Obi Wan had absolutely meant to hit him back.

Notes: Another cute read! Once again Ani is a disaster, and Obi-Wan only less so by direct comparison XD I particularly remember this story for the author coining the phrase I now recognize as my favourite paring trope - two halves of a whole idiot XDD

Reprise by Elfpen

Pairing: None

Status: 7 parts, current part ongoing

Summary: Ben Kenobi dies aboard the Death Star in the year 0 BBY. He wakes up shortly thereafter in the Jedi temple in the year 41 BBY. Haunted by memories and regret, Ben must forge a new path for himself in the Jedi Order of his youth while navigating the murky waters of time travel. Crafting a better future from bitter experience is hard, but learning to heal is even harder. Major AU.

Notes: This one I found on the heels of Desert Storm, and while they are initially cut from the same cloth, you’ll find they immediately develop their own unique flavours. If you like time-travel fix-its (which I do ;D) then this is a great read, and has some lovely art to go with it! 

Life and What Comes After by Ibelin

Pairing: None

Status: First part one-shot complete, second part ongoing

Summary: Obi-Wan dies on Jabiim. Anakin blames himself, doesn't know how to go on and yet - he does. Maybe the Force rewards that kind of thing, or maybe he just gets lucky, but when a mission lands Anakin on a vaguely familiar planet, he gets a second chance to do what he knows he should have done in the first place: save his master.(And maybe a chance to save the galaxy, too.)

Notes: *Don’t worry, Obi-Wan does not in fact die!*

Ngl, what attracted me to this fic in the first place was the tag “Unrealistically Well-Adjusted Anakin Skywalker” X’D For all they say that though, his growth as a person is actually written very believably - he’s still Ani, but you see the work he put in. And damn do I love me some real communication between Obi and Ani, and damn do we ever get that here. Obi kinda backtracks that a bit with his own self-esteem issues in part two, but I have no doubt the boys will get through it! 

Definitely recommend, it’s got some really wonderful family feels <3

Witness Me by SLWalker

Pairing: Obi-Wan/Maul

Status: 7 parts, final story part(s) ongoing (part 5 is the main series that’s ongoing, part 6 scattered one-shots, part 7 art for the series)

Summary: Instead of escaping to Lotho Minor, Maul's captured by the Order. Obviously, that changes everything.

Notes: I’m currently reading this one! The first several parts focus on building the relationship between Obi and Maul. Then in part 5 we start to focus more on Maul growing as his own person, though he is absolutely still Obi-Wans other half. Get ready for some clone feels, because I guarantee you will fall hard and fast for the Blackbirds once you meet them <3 <3 <3 I also appreciate that while there is definite censure for the Jedi council as a whole for certain decisions, and Anakin is his canon disaster self, there is no character bashing or throwing under buses, and conversely no hero worship either. Thus far everyone is treated fairly - I really enjoy that we tend to see not only several outside views of characters and situations, but also a lot of introspection as well. 

If you’re in it for the people, this story is very much for you <3