#ive got Issues wrt having been raised in a super conservative area and my medical professionals are kinda part of that

[bananonbinary]

I noticed in your tags you mentioned getting an autism diagnosis at an older age. I'm fairly certain I am but I'm not sure if it's worth it to get diagnosed because I hear people talk about how hard and expensive it is to get.

I meant to ask how did you go about it but I sent the ask too soon.

uhh well. it WAS really hard for me. i dont think my experience was super typical tho? at least, i hope not. (this is going to be kinda bleak, but i really don’t think it’s what you have to look forward to or anything. hopefully it could provide more of a roadmap for what not to do)

1) im actually pretty “““low-functioning,”““ which is a stupid term, but is relevant here because phone calls to strangers are basically impossible for me, and its very difficult for me to actually talk to People In Authority without freezing up and losing my voice. so i a) hit a lot of roadblocks that couldve been easily avoided by someone more outspoken, and b) had to rely a lot on my family to help have these conversations anyway. which i recognize isn’t really an option for a lot of people.

2) this all ended fairly recently and im still pretty mad about it, so it probably is a lil more negative than it has to be

the actual process was several years of nothing, followed by finally getting it done in a few months, and it was basically:

me: “hey the office i go to for mental health shit, i need a new psychiatrist, and i’m also pretty sure i have autism, do you have anyone who could help me get diagnosed with that?”

them: “sure here’s this guy” (guy does not know shit about autism, but waffles every time we ask and does not reveal that fact to us until several MONTHS later)

me: “hey guy i’m stuck with as a psychiatrist at the moment, i’m pretty sure i have autism, how do i get diagnosed”

them: “there is no way to diagnose autism in adults, and also autistic people are just spinning in circles and arent aware of the world around them, you aren’t autistic” (blatant lies AND heavy ableism lmao. i finally fired that asshole recently and it was supremely satisfying)

me: “hey my gp, im pretty sure im on the autism spectrum and my mental health professionals are fucking useless, pls help?”

them: “oh man, i love those mental health people :) anyway, aren’t we all on the autism spectrum somewhere? now, lets talk about your weight instead”

me: “hey local autism clinics, im pretty sure i’m autistic, any chance-”

them: “no. we only work with kids, and also need a referral from your gp. and we’re not taking any new patients at this time anyway”

finally, FINALLY, like 3 years later, i found a really great therapist, who’s also a licensed clinical social worker. for the record, i found her out of state and all of our appointments are by video call. highly recommend looking for this sort of set up if you’re having trouble finding mental healthcare professionals that don’t fucking suck in your area, because i promise having good therapy remotely is leagues better than shit therapy in person.

within like 3 months i told her i’m pretty sure i’m autistic, but couldn’t find any way to get diagnosed without my gp on board. she did some research for me, and reached out to a colleague of hers in the area that works with autistic people.

i got an appointment with said colleague (who was great), who basically went through the dsm checklist, said “yep youre autistic” and referred me to another doctor to actually get diagnosed.

that doctor sucked, and literally just went through the same damn checklist the previous doctor went through, but this time charged me $1500 for it, and didnt take our insurance. also said i couldnt be low functioning because i have thought about my gender identity. so, yikes.

but i got the diagnosis! huzzah!

and now my therapist is helping me to set up an appointment to work with an occupational therapist for sensory processing issues, so i can actually FINALLY get some goddamn help (which technically didn’t need the autism diagnosis but none of those shit doctors believed i HAD sensory processing issues until i got it, so). AND family is helping me finally figure out how to apply for disability so i can have some actual agency in my life. we’re also talking to that first doctor who said i was autistic, and she’s got loads to say about how antidepressants and shit dont even work in the expected way in autistic brains, and is hopefully gonna help me find things for non-autism mental health issues that actually, you know, work for me for the first time in my life.

the moral of this story is, it’s REALLY REALLY HARD to try and get a diagnosis if you don’t have a professional on your side. but if you do, it can be really good, and you just need to worry about the money issue. once i found someone who was willing to help me, even though she’s not actually a medical doctor or even in the same state as me, things moved shockingly quickly. and are still moving quickly. i’m really glad i actually did it, because i very desperately need help and i am very, very close to actually receiving it. most of the pain of this story boils down to me floundering because i had no clue what i was actually supposed to do, and no one i asked would give me a hint.

so...is it worth it? depends. even if you actually skip to the end there, i’m pretty sure the random ableism and ungodly price is pretty typical. so, if you think the potential opportunities a diagnosis presents is worth that part (which it super was in my case), then go for it! but if that doesn’t quite balance out for you, remember that there’s tons of good people with good advice in the autistic community who don’t care if you’re professionally diagnosed or not.