#at least I can still visit her
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how old is your grandma
Idk I think she's somewhere in her late 80s
I mean she can still do shit and stuff, but she just had to go to the retirement home at some point
Something about not wanting to be a burden or something...
#I don’t remember#that's all I can think of#I do miss her though#at least I can still visit her#roleplayeria#sarge fan
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if we assume that each of the three pillars comes exactly three times for a total of nine times, and we know that the 7th time it was the 40-year guardian, and if we assume that was her final visit and the last two visits will be split between the 30-year guardian and the 8-year guardian, we can calculate how long ago the miharu family made that deal: (40x3)+(30x2)+(8x2)=196 years. 196 years ago it was 1828, but i think this is supposed to be set in the 1980s or 90s, so call it the late 1700s. that's the kind of thing matoba as the head of the matoba clan has to concern himself with - deals with youkai made by people 200 years ago from families that don't even exist anymore. it's an interesting contrast to the thing he says to natsume at the end of this arc, about the 9th visit, which is 30 years away, being someone else's problem. he's embroiled in the past but doesn't even think he'll get to have a future.
#however i don't think we can assume either 1) that each of the 3 pillars comes exactly 3 times#or 2) that the 7th visit was the 40-year guardian's final visit#based on the end of the arc when natsume asks who will come for the final visit and specifically asks if it will be#the 40-year guardian again. and matoba is just like idk not my problem#if they each come 3x then he should be able to predict which it will be for the 9th visit by process of elimination#(unless the miharu records are missing or something)#and if the 40-year guardian has already done all her tours then matoba should at least be able to say it won't be her. and he doesn't#but i still think 196 is a reasonable ballpark just because we know there have been 7 out of 9 visits#and they're splitting it between them in some way even if not perfectly equally#natsume's book of friends#natsume yuujinchou#matoba seiji#natsuyuu meta#miharu loquats arc#my posts#i think the only assumption we can safely make is that it's never the same guardian two times in a row#i guess the lower bound would be if the 8-year guardian and the 30-year guardian took turns for the first 6 visits#that would be (8x3)+(30x3)+40=154 years#and the upper bound would be if the 40-year guardian started and then switched off with the 30-year guardian up to visit 7#that would be (40x4)+(30x3)=250 years#both of which seem highly unlikely. so the reality has to be between those two extremes and 196 seems pretty reasonable#and in any case even if it was only 154 years ago...that's still a really long time ago
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Blanche's grandma's place is the only place she felt consistently loved in... no I'm fine. I'm fine
#the IMPLICATIONS#i completely forgot about that line#room 7 makes me lose my mind in general but ohhh my god#OH my god#i'm#yeah no i'm fine#i have so many feelings about this i can't even put them into words#idk but she speaks about that place with so so much nostalgia#we see blanche in a way we've never seen her with anyone from her past#she didn't look even remotely as happy or peaceful (or nostalgic!) when she visited her childhood home#but when she's in her grandma's old home? she calls it her family home#she talks about it like *that's* the place she grew up in#because apparently it was the only place she was always sure she could be loved#so i guess it might not have been the only place she grew up in#but it sure sounds like it was the one place she was allowed to be herself in and still be loved unconditionally#without competing for anyone's attention#ohh blanche ;-;#i teared up when she held that windchime and smiled right before finally leaving that house#that was *such* a powerful moment ;-;#anyway#uh#i guess i'll just go and stare at a wall or something now#the golden girls#blanche devereaux#adding on to this to say that maybe it really was the only place she grew up in#because to grow up i'd say you need an environment where you can at least somewhat freely explore your identity#without feeling a constant need to be the best/cutest/prettiest sister to get your parents' love and approval#it sounds like blanche grew older in her childhood home#and she got the chance to *grow up* with her grandma#(i knoooow i'm reading too much into this but i can't stop thinking about this episode)
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peggy and nina are rotating in my brain now ohh wowie here we go again
#moversposting#at least with them there is actually chemistry so it's not technically a crackship hahahahh#I HAVE . ideas.#especially about peggy returning to 123 cherry tree lane with her now more successful business since the first time they met#and her going to the idea cafe and meeting nina again!#i still hold onto the headcanon that peggy and knit knots had met again for their business (?) or something idk how to explain#so peggy and nina have met and hung out a couple of times after they first met at the warehouse#and then after the collab (?) was done peggy didn't get to hang out there much because focusing on her business getting more attention#especially after knit knots retiring (based on heather's story Too Much Noise) nina didn't see or keep in contact with peggy again#so cut to season 3 time. peggy was in the area for work related and she decided to visit the idea warehouse. and then stop by the cafe and#she realized a familiar face and so does nina and they're so excited to see each other and they catch up and and and#i need to draw them now ohhhhh#y'all i can't keep doing this i can't go imagining another main character and side character potential dynamic thing (i can)#thanks onesillymover. now i have a 2 nickels for 2 random imovers ship concepts haha#“i've connected the dots.” “you didn't connect shit.” “i've connected them.”#dang these characters have names that are hard to come up with good ship names lmao
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The thing about being neurodivergent and trying to be funny is just that… I could be giving my BEST material. A proper standup act! True hilarity (like that in my bio, thank you very much!) and… nada. Zilch. లేదు. לו. Total crickets!!!
But then, I just… say something. Completely random, somewhat serious. Just a regular old response to something. And then like… people are like “OMG UR SO FUNNY!”
And I’m like… I made THE BEST pun five minutes ago and you looked at me like “oh, sweetie…” but then I just… respond naturally to whatever you just said and suddenly I’m a comedian!!!
#ahh well#I’ll take the laughs where I can get em I guess#but for the record I AM very funny#why don’t melons ever get married?#because they CANTALOUPE!#see! prime material#at least in my accent lol#but then once I put the pans back in the wrong place when visiting my parents for the weekend and unloading the dishwasher#and my mom was like ‘what r u doing?’#and I go ‘oh sorry. thought it was a pan free for all’#just a natural response. no jokes#and she STILL laughs about it five years later#I don’t even remember this but to her it was the funniest thing on her#neurodivergent
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I'm being so serious rn if I ever talk about doing another fringe festival run in the next like 3 years at least send me to fucking therapy. It is a cry for help. This is bad for me.
#im over halfway at least. but fucking christ.#ive barely seen anyone i care about for weeks. im hardly sleeping. im in knee braces and im still in pain.#13 hours a day of people yelling at me. the busiest ive ever seen public transport. eating the most random sporadic shit.#no hobbies. very few friends or family. crying twice a day. i still havent been paid. binding!! binding 7am til midnight!!!! daily!!!!!#my whole body hurts im physically mentally emotionally exhausted im desperately lonely im not doing the things that make me feel fulfilled#when my loved ones are free im either working or passed out in pain and exhaustion#the boss is enabling all sorts of bullshit yet again#im not able to be a person anyone i care about deserves to know#and that makes me not want to know me either#that is at least when i have enough fractions of a spoon left to feel anything at all except upset or numb#i NEED this all to be over#my next free day is my sisters 21st birthday next month my fucking baby sister is turning 21 and i dont know what to get her#i dont have a brain im not being!! a person worth knowing!!!!#my gran fucking fell the other day she's hurt ive not visited her in ages bc of work and finance i want to see my wee gran i want#to buy her ice cream and tell her i love her#i had to clean up an old guy who smashed his face on the pavement today and im just putting That trauma off til at least mid September#my BEST FRIEND gets MARRIED next week#and i can barely think about it because im on empty#im on below empty#they deserve so much better from me#im out. im not doing this again. not like this.
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feeling v proud of myself for eyeing something and thinking “that seems like it's 70 inches” then it was 😌
#ms ma'am needs to return some curtains she got for her room oops 🙈#looked at it when i got home like ah yes. i should have measured that but alas. the lack of brain cells 2day#im still catching up energy wise 😮💨 feels nice 2 slowly get settled though!!#now that ik i can hire movers to help i wanna furnish my place more. kind of. i also don't plan on living at this particular apartment for#more than a year‚ but it ain't too bad 😌 more importantly I'm Here!!! finally out of the city™#everyone I've talked to so far has been rly chill.#Seattle im not going to miss you..#only Someone.. but we will visit each other ♡ he's coming over to see me on my vacation and im taking it late next month ^.^#not going anywhere just like.. god I've been so strong and brave about everything for the past year n a half/2yrs#but i NEED to rest!! idk how much time i have but i know i have over a week maybe 2#2 sounds right.. been a while since i checked 😳 i want to roam and explore...#omg and i think i know my First Place i want to go check out (。ノω\。) theres a fish hatchery im rly curious abt. I've never been! 😯#╰( ̄ω ̄o) they got some other fun places too. aquarium + a(t Least one) zoo
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mmm essay about sally and kid gort in the tags (cw for child abuse, mentions of suicide, animal cruelty and a murder attempt. i always hope i don’t have to say this but just in case: i don’t excuse or condone any of her or gort’s behaviour at all.) this is literally not even touching upon everything i have to say because i hit the fucking tag limit lmao. NOBODY READ IT’S BAD BRAINSTORMING I JUST NEEDED TO GET IT OUT SOMEHOW
#thinkin too much about gortie side characters again.#sally this time and why she specifically talks about him the way she does#like dravo is obviously still shitty but to me he was. ‘just ‘neglectful#while sally actively hated and even felt terrorised by her own child#like. it’s not like i don’t understand her at all.#imagine you and your love don’t have much besides each other and your shop and you get pregnant and ready to raise a child#only for it to not be a child he didn’t and doesn’t cry ever and he learns everything so much sooner than most but then he never calls you#his parents and it’s not just a petty thing kids do sometimes you feel that he doesn’t see you as family and the worst part is that you#agree deep down#and as he gets older he doesn’t have any friends and actively rejects the notion of the entire concept#but then as time passes you hear about how he has entire groups of children following him and then several of them commit suicide#and that thing coming to sit with you and dravo at the dinner table says that he did what you did last week when the axe to chop wood broke#and you discarded it and got a new one#and he has these habits of ripping out flowers and making sure that they don’t regrow#and then you hear rumours about a friend’s daughter’s cat disappearing and think nothing of it#until you visit his tree house a month later and find a declawed cat and birds with clipped wings and crushed bugs that he keeps fondly#and then you see him with other children and they don’t know and his face is different and body language is entirely different#and were it not for the fact that you know better you would never see anything but a normal child#and you know that you are one who painstakingly brought this thing that should not be into the world and so you decide to end it all one da#and go to him as he’s asleep with the knife shaking in your hand#but he cries when you’re above him! screams at the top of his lungs!#so you beg for forgiveness even though you don’t deserve it through tears but as soon as the knife is put away you see the act drop and fee#his clever fingers having twisted your brain inside and out and you know that you can do nothing#and so the opportunity arises to at least remove him out of your life if not everyone’s lives and you take it immediately.#but you heard him talk. how he will close his fist around the world one day. and you know that it is not a matter of if but when.#like. imagine that. jesus dude.#like i hc her as someone that is messy and does not know a lot about life and she certainly wouldn’t have been a good mother but the love#or at least desire to love is there somewhere. and believing that having a child is really the only somewhat meaningful thing she can do#with her life. she’s not some hero or rich or anything of note. so there’s a lot obligation and not genuine desire for family here.#but she never really got the chance to be an actual mother in the first place so. who knows what that might have looked like
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why do i always get ideas for lore changes After posting. is he stupid?
#larry time#this one's not too serious ive just been toying with the idea of pushing the years kentaro gets sick + the move takes place#since i think that would make kirus silly attitude in middle school make more sense#kenny still being around means she gets a little more leeway and all#plus if he were to pass while she was in her third year of junior high#itd make her change in demeanor btwn then and high school being so Sudden make more sense#the only problem i run into here is her relationship with yanagida since they have less time as friends that way...#but maybe it's fine? because then their reunion can be like ''i never really understood you then so im happy to have a second chance''#plus fsr i find ive always gotten along best with the relatives i see least often so maybe i can just project that into them#maybe they were pen pals or something. idk. they definitely visited one another at some point before the move#ill think about if i wanna go this route or not... we shall see
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and when i live on my own ill be able to decorate like real life decorate ive never gotten to do that in real life b4
#like im not barred from doing it Nd i do like. a little bit kind of but its like. Idk my entire life is a very transient thing and im rly#rly rly not used to being in one place for a long time so as a kid we never rly decorated ever#and like obv i wont be Owning a house or anything like that so itll still have to be moveable but i can like. but furniture that i like and#stuff... ive never gotten to do that b4 even in um. wa. i didnt rly get to do any of the decorating even when i was in the actual house bc#him and the roommates umm. did all that. Okay well now ive sort of freaked it by making myself think of that so im going to go stare#longingly at the floorplan i did#bc umm. well ideally id like to move into one of the apartments thats right across the way bc theres a couple of apt buildings like right#there 5 min walk tops and one of the places Has an open one but no floorplan#i wont be movjng out for ages i just wanted to look at floorplans yk#but like i said no floorplans BUT theres one a bit further away not rly walkable bc its umm#youd have to walk on the interstate and stuff and um. no sidewalk and everything but theeeeeeeeee thing had a floorplan#still very close by like 2 min drive but yk. but i still did my little mockup floorplan with that apartment instead#i want it to be closeby so everybody can come visit and so that i dont die and explode . i dont rly want to continue living in this town#4ever once km like Normal and have savings and ive got everything worked out i wanna maybe move to chicago or something since il is better#for the transgenderisms. + ive always wanted to try living in a big city at least once and i think itd be awesome#but thats Ages and ages away like maybe 5 years depending on how good i am. weeee will see if 5 years in the future is like on the table 4#me LOLLLL 24 year old connor seems rly crazy to imagine. but anyways....#but itll be nice to move out and still be in town bc then i can have the same job yk . and maybe ill know how to drive atp and i can like .#buy a car ..or something . if i do know how to drive#which i probably should since this town very car dependent and i dont want my mom to have to drive me to work esp if umm. i dont live with#them ... im just rly rly rly rly rly fucking scared of driving but i know also in my heart that when i do know how to drive the bond between#me and that car will be crazyyyy like. idk how many of you followed me last year but you may remember my insane bond with angel my cart from#work and there was a lot gokng on woth that <- was Very delusional at the time and i was convinced that she was a sentient thing and had the#power to make my life better or worse if i upset her so i said good morning and goodnight to her every single day so that i could have a#good day . looking back on it probably was something to be concerned abt but whatever.... she is still my best friend and i do miss her#deeply#her bathtub and heater were my besttt friends when i was in wa LOL. i was quite unwell#bathtub is still in my room tho yayyy. heater lives with lamp now and angel is of course at my old job....#bathtub currently is holding a project i gave up on. everyone say thank.you bathtub im looking at her right now
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I'VE FINALLY FINISHED BROTHERSHIP IT WAS SOOOOO GOOD!!!!!!!
#clai speaks#spoilers in the tags probably#ahhh first of all i am still astounded the game exists at all. we all thought m&l was done forever but here it is!!!#the timing of me playing superstar saga and getting really into mario last year couldnt have been better#i mean i probably would have played brothership still even if mario hadnt become a main interest of mine like that. but anyway#absolutely stellar re-entry into the series it did not disappoint in the SLIGHTEST#i think i 100%'d it? only thing i didnt do was finish that last dyode dance sequence but like its fiiiine#took about 50 hours i didnt get a chance to check my final time. really surprised that the game went that long!#i dont think it was a bad thing at all though. the game mostly didnt feel like it was overstaying its welcome#i did think lottacoins and the lower level solitree went a tad too long and i didnt like them but only a little. they're still fine sections#surprised that i didnt even feel like the sidequests were a drag they were all alright!#character interactions were so good ofc. love the new cast!! starlow felt a bit flat which is a shame but she also didnt appear much so#the sidequest where she visits bowser and he calls her chippy!!!! made me so happy!!!!!#all the callbacks were so good i'm glad they can still do that. yelled out loud after finding the peasley reef#docking points for no dreambert reef however. jail worthy offence#on reclusa specifically i dont have a lot to say about his character he's just your typical evil for the sake of evil villain#but i have to say i Love his design. the really exaggerated facial expressions and that clown neck frill. really fun character actually!!#ahhh call me childish but i'm never a fan of endings where friends separate but i like to think the second uni-tree--#--will allow them to link back up once its grown and can generate more connectar to do it#cant say if its my favorite yet bc recency bias is still too fresh but its absolutely my second favorite m&l game at least!!#i havent played paper jam yet i wanted to play the original paper mario and spm first. but i always hear its bad so??#brothership is at least on par with dream team for me rn. absolutely stellar game#i hope this means we'll get more m&l someday! i've already left a very positive response on the survey they put out#anyway. now to decide what to play next because i have a MASSIVE backlog of games and i didnt think this would take this long BJDHJFHF#10/10!!!! please play brothership immediately
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Tfw you realize if we getting old discourse back with Percy Jackson show, then that means if Titans Curse gets adapted, people are gonna get mad at an actual twelve year old for not wanting to be a mother to her younger brother.
#yes im referring to how people reacted to bianca choosing to join the hunters of artemis#and therefore leave nico at camp#because apparently people back then didn't understand a child isnt a mother#she is a child at the end of the day herself#and literally had unknowingly been stuck in that hotel for years with nico#having to look after him the whole time#and given she believes nico will be safe at the camp#and that artemis told her she can still visit her brother#its clear bianca believed everything would be okay when joining the hunters#just desperate for some freedom#plus her last act that led to her death was her literally getting a gift for nico#but the way people reacted you'd think she just abandoned him completely#when it was not like that at all#granted maybe fandom has mellowed out and new fans wont be as bad#but given some fandoms are still iffy when female characters breath#i wouldnt be surprised if the discourse comes back a little at least
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pondering the kirsch siblings orb yet again and you really cannot convince me that quinn would not have been moving like depression era bella in new moon from the moment she even FOUND OUT richie was moving to modesto...
#like bc LISTEN.#anyone with eyes can tell richie was clearly her everything 😭#and idt she was super young bc i hc he moved out about 1-2 yrs b4 the events of 5cream#and richie wouldve still been 23-24#but just given how close they were + how spoiled he was at home LMAO idt she wouldve Expected him to leave 'so soon'#read: EVER or at least before the twins graduated hs#so i think that news hit her like the final destination 2 log truck. like that HURT. DEVASTATED her even. esp given the distance bc-#i hc the kirsches as Wisconsin People (source: kinda sorta radio silence but also my besties knowledge of Wisconsin People)#so from wherever the hell wisconsin to CALIFORNIA?!?!?!?! ik quinn was crying screaming throwing up like that was the worst day of her LIFE#up until then at least. like maybe she was onto smth bc nothing GOOD came of him moving there.#but yeah no i think she was absolutely moping about emo as hell feeling like a piece of her was literally missing.#bc and i think this goes wrt both of her brothers but since im kirschcest pilled yk theres an extra element there#quinn is very like family oriented in general and i think she doesnt know how to think of herself/what to do w herself if shes not like.#being their sister. best way i can put it thats not so convoluted but ykwim. like so it just does Not feel natural for her#for them to be apart & SO far away from each other. i think it wouldnt be nearly as big a deal if he moved out but stayed even just in stat#the only bright spot for her wouldve been 1) getting to visit and 2) getting the idea that she could just go out there for college#then yippee!! the whole gang is reunited!#bc obvi ethan is coming with. im ngl i do not even think she would ask or be like 'so i wanna move to cali to be close to richie hbu?'#i think she'd assume like well theyve been together their whole lives? why WOULDNT ethan go along?? 😭#and she's right except he is 100% agreeing bc he'd be with HER#but thats another post and or tag essay#ceci speaks#scream franchise#scream vi#kirsch siblings#richie kirsch#quinn bailey
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underrated love language i had forgotten about: "the cat is sitting on you funny. I need you to appreciate how funny he looks from my angle. I know you're sitting right next to me but I'm gonna take a picture and send it to you."
#hung out with my old roommate yesterday (NOT the one i didn't like. other one) and it was 90% a cat visit. as it should be#every now and then i check in with myself on the question of “do i ever want to live with roommates again”#the answer is still no at least for now#but there are some things i miss about living with people#hell even for the roommate i was constantly fighting with i could tell you her coffee order from memory#(16oz iced chai latte with oat milk and an extra shot of espresso)#because we all shared the “buy coffee for each other” love language#well. we did kind of hate each other so maybe it wasn't so much a love language as an olive branch language#appeasement language. thin veneer of civility language. i can be nice if you'll be nice language.#anyway i miss buying coffee for each other and i miss being able to yell “oh my god look what the cat is doing”#thank god for snapchat. perfect look-at-the-cat medium
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my nephew is officially going back to his mother
#what the fuck what the fuck what the FUCK#anyway#we got the date changed by a week so he can at least spend Christmas with us#and we’re thinking of ways to give him our phone numbers and letters so he doesn’t forget we love him#bc she’s already tried to tell him we hate him during one of her visits#and I know she’ll cut contact and tell him all sorts of things that aren’t true to make us the bad guys#because she’s sooooo convinced she’s in the right#newsflash girl you were found substantiated for child abuse!! cps only dropped the case because we took him in and he wasn’t with you!!! grr#if she doesn’t block me on social media and I see even a single photo of him malnourished#or if she gets him a phone and he still has our numbers and he ever says anything that raises the alarm bells#I’m calling cps on her. this is so awful he deserves better
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like 8-11pm is the worst bored out of my mind too depressed to do anything and anything i had the energy to do ive already done youtube is all garbage but movies and tv are too much effort social media is dry as hell there's nobody to talk to and its gonna be hours til ill be able to sleep and i dont want to smoke any more cigarettes
#it just fucking sucks that not only did she cheat on me she just left me entirely alone#like she has her roommate and her friends she can visit and who is there for me. i literally live with her sister who i barely know.#i have nobody at least not close to me. i moved out of my old place w my sister and i left my job to be closer to her#AAARGGH sorry. im sorry.#i need to call my sister and talk to somebody abt it but i just feel so ashamed and i didnt even do anything#and she still hasnt put in any effort into any kind of a real apology its just so infuriating
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