#at large even
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I know that technically the souls probably arenāt supposed to leave Elysium after they die, but alsoā¦ I like to think Ulysses finds a way.
Like technically his closest friends are the ones who built the omniportal so thereās a chance he just like, bribes them or pleads really nicely to go back out or something lmao, but I also like to imagine that he just finds a way to sneak back into the mortal world and do storytelling shit sometimes-
Arisanna turning up and grabbing this old man by the scruff of his neck mid campfire story, and dragging him away from his audience like āokay grandpa time to get back in the afterlife dimension you canāt keep doing thisā
ā
#thereās a little alarm that goes off on all the gods comms to let them know heās snuck back out through the portal#itās like a silver alert but specifically for Ulysses being a little shit#lodestar grove collectively appears at his door like āokay bud weāve talked about this cāmon-ā#heās loose#at large even#fable smp#fablesmp#fablesmp ulysses
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People online (white) will create so many conspiracy theories that just boil down to "Asians aren't complete human beings with their own thoughts and autonomy" like maybe Chinese people are just going about their day to day life. Maybe a video of a North Korean person like chilling is just a person chilling, who isn't going to power down like a robot once the video is over. Stop being a fucking creep.
#and for the record they do this to all asians even the asian countries they ālikeā like S Korea or Japan#they get crazy fetishistic and its so gross to read#largely aimed at reddit but like you see this everywhere like on here with annoying white libs
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ALSO IMPORTANT TO NOTE, people dropping mad mad sums of money on gfms and charities and stuff are extremely impressive but that DOES NOT MEAN that putting like $5 towards someone's fund or any good cause is any less valuable, a lot of crowdfunding is about momentum and those single digits add up super fast, you do not need to be Rolling In The Dough to make someone's day!! moving the dial at all is extremely positive!!
#what is ACTUAL POISON to crowdfunding is The Full Stop. when it just runs cold. at that point a single dollar coming in feels like#pushing the wheels out of the mud. all you need is movement. as long as it keeps moving.#this applies to gofundmes this applies to large organizations this applies to people asking for grocery money#moving the needle even just the slightest bit!! is huge!!#take it from someone who gets excited about $1 patrons#sergle.txt#people used to attach Apology messages to their $5 when I was raising money for my breast reduction#as if they should be doing more. but they were already doing so much and I was elated to just see a new donation Of Any Amount#ANY donation is extremely exciting to the person or people actually receiving it!!!!
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height difference š
#cod#call of duty#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#soapghost#my art#large lad and his even larger lad šŖ#tall bf who ominously looms over you and other neat tricks āØ
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nyaaaasty
also random doodle dump JDHDHDD
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Bonus:
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Im havin a rough time, but the urge to draw human bill in a comically large fur coat is immaculate
#Funfact I drew bill in comically large fur coat a coupla more times actually#Just wasnāt f e e l i n the girlypopāness yet#Oh god here comes the tags#Gravity falls#gravity falls bill#gravity falls ford#gravity falls dipper#gravity falls mabel#gravity falls axolotl#bill cipher#stanford pines#Ford pines#Dipper pines#mabel pines#billford#Not even gunna bother tagging Robbie LMAOO
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#shoutout to pretrans me for being a diversity hire in my friend group full of queer people#ive talked to many trans women who've had this experience#keep an eye out on your straight friend#they might suddenly seem sadder and start wearing large hoodies even when its hot out#trans#transgender#trans memes#mtf#196
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i donāt mind suspending my disbelief for leverageās person-sized ventilation shafts bc thatās pretty standard for the genre, but that doesnāt mean i wonāt laugh a bit at some of the egregiously large vents. particularly in the crowning acheivement job (lev: red s2 finale) because - well just look at this lol! harry and parker, two adults, can kneel side by side in those vents. parker can sit upright.
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that museum was made for vent crawling purposes. thatās just an extra room in the museum they forgot to decorate. the leverageverse has a thief union that successfully lobbied for a better working environment. these vents double as a playground for museum-goersā children. i was crying with laughter thinking about this and harryās vent crisis was NOT helping me remember that there was a serious heist thing going on lol, i love this show.
#leverage redemption#leverage#parker leverage#harry wilson#harry wilson leverage#parker#wren speaks#leverageposting#the sun roofs (or are they just lights?) really get me lmao#ALL of the person-sized vents are unrealistically large so this is not criticism! this is a generic convention!#vents are not human-sized and clean or remotely safe enough to reliably crawl through irl#but basically every building in every crime drama has comfortably person-sized vents#usually for knee crawling not even people lying on their stomach bc thatās difficult to move and looks sillier#and that thin layer of the ceiling under the vent is usually surprisingly built well enough to support a persons weight#and thereās no fans or rats or dust or bugs or that foil tube stuff i forgot the word for#and itās often oddly well-lit. and thatās okay! itās fiction! weāre having fun!#sewers tend to be unrealistically large + accessible + well-lit etc in fiction too.#anyway my point is iām not saying this as criticism! just a neutral obserativion of something i found funny!
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You know what? I want a whole post for this:
Sex Repulsion is not the same thing as, or an excuse for, Sex Negativity
non-negotiable!
I am a sex-repulsed asexual. This means that I am uncomfortable and repulsed by the idea of engaging in sexual acts. This does not mean that I have an excuse to be repulsed by other people's sexual attraction or the right to police how other people engage in or express sexual acts or attraction.
Young queer people need to learn the difference between sex repulsion and sex negativity, and actively work to unlearn sex-negative attitudes. Asexuality, even sex-repulsed asexuality, is and should be fully compatible with sex positivity.
If you are uncomfortable with the idea of other people feeling sexual attraction or engaging in sexual acts that do not involve you in any way, that is not sex repulsion it is the cultural Christianity and you need to seriously work on that.
#we as asexual people have got to have a talk about this because the shit i have been seeing is NOT okay#asexuality#sex positivity#this is largely intracommunity allo people can engage w/ it but don't be clowns#original post#500#1k#PLEASE STOP TAGGING THIS AS 'CULTS' YOU CAN CRITIQUE A RELIGION W/O CALLING IT A CULT I AM BITING YOU#this barely even mentions Christianity like someone does not need to be in a cult to be sex negative. and also not all religions are cults#please be normal#other than that y'all have actually been very normal abt this one so far thank you#2k#5k
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part 3 to my modern AU ššŗ (part 1 / part 2)
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#u just know seb ended up carrying her home in the end anyway BAHHA if u read my fic u already know im weak for bridal carries#fun fact the blurred party backgrounds i used are screenshots from diary of a wimpy kid rodrick rules. aka the pinnacle of cinema#and its only fitting since i base my modern seb very largely on rodrick bc I STILL HAVE A CRUSH ON RODRICK...rodrick heffley my beloved#yall also already know i love guard dog seb (especially combined with drunk clora BAHAH) so ofc i had to do the modern au ver#i just make clora the type of drunk i am... aka drunk after 2 and sometimes even 1 drink and then i get super affectionate with everyone#which would make seb seethe if it were clora BAHAHAH omg i love imagining his sufferingššš#hogwarts legacy#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x oc#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian x mc#clora clemons#also wahhh i can feel my HL brainrot fading a bit...š„²probs bc my fic is now complete... might make a post abt it soon#im not ready to let gošš¤#choccyart
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about illario working with the venatori, we can't forget that elgar'nan gifted him blood magic, so I do think that he somewhat influenced him and that's why he's so much more vindictive and jealous in comparison to tevinter nights. I don't mean that he's being mind controlled, but it's a bit like cyrian, a god just amplifying those negative emotions in you and promising power and glory can push a person to that edge and to make stupid af decisions.
im also not forgetting that zara line in inner demons where she talks about an envy demon. like. why an envy demon in specific...there's THINGS between zara and illario that were not shown
no literally if you get me talking about illario + envy + the possibility of getting him possessed, you will have me here for fucking ever. a non mage doing blood magic (any magic at all) is really weird and interesting to me and i donāt remember an example of this happening before (feel free to correct me tho lol. iām discounting possessions and dwarves)
i had started wildly theorising after bloodbath that he had been possessed and he was tapping into the fade using an envy demon. especially like you said, zara mentions it, AND because i swear thereās a codex in the ossuary where it mentions an envy demon whereas spite is obviously determination, right? so i thought it was a breadcrumb trail to a big āillario is being influenced and doesnāt even knowā revealā same as you anon like great minds am i rightā but iām not sure there is actually any evidence of that lol. like maybe if you squint but i do believe it was explained away by āoh yeah, and elgarnan let him do special blood magicā
it does also make sense to me that illario can only control lucanis, due to being part of the same family. a bloodline thing, and it is very poetic to me that their shared family connection in caterina is what allows him to control lucanis, even for a moment lol. spite being the extra magical boost that lucanis needs to block that out ALSO makes sense to me so iām not too fussed abt these details lolš¤
the envyllario in my heart also gets spectral weapons for himself. lucanis gets wings, illario gets talons, PLUS green-purple are complementary colors so it would have been really fun to see them clash with their spirit/demon-powers. the talon thing is also a kind of reflection of his end-goal desire, how envy demons already have those freaky hands, and it manifests as claws and is a much more aggressive, strength-augmenting manifestation (as opposed to manoeuvrability and speed-augmenting that spiteās wings give lucanis.) anyways that's what the diagram above is supposed to be (this is extremely hot to me)
#have been waiting all day to get out of work to draw what i have not stopped rotating in my head#also drawing is not totally clear yes that is lucanis using one hand to hold back illario trying to claw at him yayyyyyyy#illario dellamorte#lucanis dellamorte#my art#dragon age#veilguard spoilers#sorry. i was going to reply to this yesterday but my friend finished the lucanis questline#we were discussing this for a bit so the reply is a little more in depth and thought out#also both of the remaining dellamorte heirs both being possessed is fun to ME .#forget house dellamorte being cooked we HAVE to make sure theyāre burning and smoking and potentially even on fire#i wish we got to make the crows actually confront what a possessed heir would mean#but that is largely overshadowed in the game by caterinaās kidnapping#and also feels underused because nothing of note goes terribly bad#he doesnāt even draw any blood when spite tries to kill illario#truly wish lucanispite would have gone out of control and killed someone. idk who tho#maybe. lol. jacobus come here. i need you to die tragically
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Bad: I donāt think people understand the effect QSMP had on some of the streamers in terms of likeā¦ The real raw mental impact, so Iām gonna set the stage for you. [...] Imagine that you were given a friend to play Minecraft with ā like your best friend ā BUT if this person dies, if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Can you imagine what thatās like?
Bad: If you did not live through the QSMP, if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I donāt think people realize how much of a joyous experience the Eggs were. They were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with.
Bad: Iām not saying I regret it. To this day, I loved the experience. Iād do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again. [...] I would still do it all over again, because ā even knowing like, all the trauma and sufferingĀ and stuff like that ā because it was justā¦ It was just that fun, it was just that fun.
Earlier today during his stream, Bad shared his experience and thoughts about the Eggs and the significant emotional (and traumatic) impact they had on him and his fellow QSMP members.
This clip a very edited-down version since his commentary was ~13 minutes long, so I highly recommend checking out Bad's VOD if you have the time. (Timestamp: 47:36 - 1:00:14)
[ Full Transcript ā ]
āāā
Bad: To be fair Chat, I really think the QSMP... I don't think anyone really can relate to it, Chat. It's something that's so... I've told people this before, likeā but it's hard to understand. Right? Like...
Where was I? Sorry Chat, I'm losing my train of thought. Look, let me explain Chatā here's the dealio, ok? Here's the dealio, and this is what I mean when I say like, it's important to keep this in mind, Chat. Ok? It's important to keep this in mind:
I donāt think people understand the effect that the QSMP had on like, some of the streamers, in terms of likeā¦ The real raw mental impact, so Iām gonna set the stage for you. This is the analogy Iāve given to every person who Iāve like, shared this with. Imagine you meet somebodyā [He hears a strange noise] What the fudge was that? Did you hear that?
Anywayā Chip! The story I was just relaying to Chat, Chip, was this: I was sharing this story with them, I saidāĀ I was giving them an analogy.Ā
Imagine Chat, for example, imagine that you wereā¦ playing Minecraft, with likeā you were given a friend to play Minecraft with, Chat, like your best friend, and [unintelligible] were like, āHey, you get to play Minecraft with this person, right? BUT if this person dies ā theyāre currently your best friend, Chip ā but if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Ever again.ā Can you imagine what thatās like, Chip?
I donāt think a lot of people understand like, what that does, right? Iām not gonna say that like, it creates this situation, Chip, that like, messes with your head, but itā Chip ā but it totally, totally does, Chip. It messes with your head! It literally puts you in a position where youāre second-guessing and thinking about everything, Chip! Youāre thinking about EVERYTHING Chip! Ok? And thatās the problem, Chipā is you turn into a paranoid monster because of it, Chip! Like, you donāt understand Chipā I was- I was so afraid of every dirt block, I used to carry a shovel with me Chip, and I would specifically right-click dirt blocks that looked suspicious because mines, Chipā mines could not be shoveled! Like, I was crazy, Chip! But hereās the problem, Chip: that craziness is still there. Iām genuinely likeā
I remember thinking Chip, that I would one dayā I was like, āIām going to move pastāā here, letās go up here, Chip. I remember thinking one day Chip, I was like, āIām gonna move past the underground base, one of these days. You know, one of these days, I feel like Iāll be able to grow and achieve the desire to build a base that doesnāt have to be underground.ā But I donāt think itās possible now Chip, because I thinkā¦ I just donāt know. I feel like the paranoiaā thereās still like, residual leftover trauma from that situation, Chip.
But hereās the problem Chip: I donāt think I donāt thinkā I donāt think people understand it. Like, I just really donāt. But I also donāt blame them Chip, ācuz I donāt think itās possible to fully understand it if you havenāt lived through it. Like, if you did not live through the QSMPā¦ Iām talking about the QSMP, I donāt- I donāt know if that was obviousā if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I donāt think people realize how much of a joyous experience like, the Eggs were. Right? I donāt think people realize it. Like, they were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with, Chip. So, itās just one of those things thatā
[Heās interrupted by a loud rumble of thunder above them]
Did lightning just strike here? Is it thunderstorming outā¦? But anyway, Chip. Thatās the food for thought.
But thatās the problemā Like, every time it rains in Minecraft, I have to like, look at the sky, and I get this weird, like, second--hand vibe because of the trauma. The trauma, Chip! The trauma is real! But thatās the pointā Iām not saying I regret it. I, to this day Chip, I loved the experience. Iād do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again.Ā
[He falls down] Dangit, donāt come over here Chip, ācuz Iām coming back up! Ok.
I would still do it all over again, because ā even knowing like, all the trauma and sufferingĀ and stuff like that ā because it was justā¦ It was just that fun, Chip, it was just that fun. I really wiā I donāt think itās ever gonna be possible, Chip, to give people that same energy, like that same experience. You know what I mean, Chip? I donāt think itās ever gonna be possible again. Like, EVER.
Becauseā¦ because like, one: I will say on one level Chip, I will say on one level, likeā itās sort of emotionally likeā¦ Itās emotionally devastating, and I think to actually go through thatā and this is where like, if I ever do end up going to aā see a therapist, if I ever do end up going to see a therapist at any point, Iāll talk it over with them and be like, āHey, what do you think about this?ā Because I genuinely think on one level, likeā itās created this fear of forming attachments because of like, how things can go. You know what I mean? Like, the fear of getting attached to something and then potentially losing it. Like, itās- itās a genuine thing. I think people forget about that.
Like, at the end of the day, everything was RP, right? On the server. You know what I mean? Like, everything was RP, Chip. BUT at the same point, even though it was RP Chip, it was still likeā there the reality of you were still playing like, with another person, and you were still getting that experience, and it felt like you were genuinely attached to someone and you didnāt want anything bad to happen to them. It was GENUINELY stressful, Chip.
But at the same point, I donāt regret it, and I donāt think it was a bad experience. IāmāĀ
Sometimes in life Chip, you go through stuff, and maybe you have a certain amount of like, things that like, can happen, that youāre like, āYou know what, maybe this wasnāt a good thing that this happened,ā but at the same point, you still arenāt necessarily upset about it, becauseā¦ itās like growing as a person, right? Hereās the thing Chip; even bad situations, Chip, can lead to an overall good outcome. Likeā
Even if youāre going through something bad Chip, just because a bad thing happens doesnāt mean that only bad things have to come from that. Thatās one of the things I tell people all the time, Chip, is that if you go through a bad situation, you can learn from it, and you can use your experience to help others. And you can be thatā you can be, at the worst-case scenario, you can be someone for other people who are going through that same experience to lean on when they go through that.I think thereās a certain amount of comfort that comes from that; from knowing no matter how bad your situation is, youāre not the only person whoās experienced it. You know what I mean?
#Badboyhalo#BBH#Bad#QSMP#January 8 2025#Edited#I know folks are going to add their two cents on this subject in the tags / comments / replies (and as always you're welcome to do that)#But for the sake of my sanity please don't be an asshole to any of the CCs / ex-admins / fellow fans / anyone else. Thanks#Most folks here don't need a ''Don't be a dumbass'' reminder but I had to block someone for that earlier and it was a bit disappointing#This is going to be a Tumblr exclusive clip because I don't trust Twitter to have common sense or common decency about this topic#Tumblr exclusive#Anyways business aside ā that black line on the side is just part of Bad's stream btw. He just Has That#Took too long for this to render otherwise I'd edit it out because it's annoying#I'm just realizing this screenshot doesn't even have Dapper OTL but it's the best one I have so I gotta work with what I got#Honestly; I still miss QSMP dearly... I love the core intent of the project and the multicultural exchange#I love all the language barriers that were broken and I loved all the stories that were told and watching beautiful friendships bloom#But I am still so angry and disappointed about how things ended and all the poor communication and the admin situation as a whole#It's a complicated feeling#I agree with pretty much everything Bad says here#It's ironic that he uses that analogy because I've said almost the exact same thing when explaining why losing any Egg was so devastating#We weren't just mourning for the characters. We were mourning for the admins too#I'll never forget that last stream with Tazercraft and Richas; and Pac ending stream in tears#I wish they'd done away with the Egg life system. I wish they'd done a lot of things differently#If the project ever does come back in some shape or form I hope they are more transparent about things and have better communication#I dunno how I'd feel personally. They would have to do a lot of work regaining people's trust#And frankly I don't think they'll ever regain that trust from a large portion of the community#I remember near the start of QSMP I saw a comment from a fan that simply said ''QSMP; please don't leave me feeling bitter''#I think about that comment a lot
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THE DOCTOR We had a pact, him and me. Every star in the universe, we were going to see them all.
My version of The Master and The Doctor in their Academy days š
A speedpaint video of this will be available at my Patreon on april 1st!
#doctor who#thoschei#doctor x master#academy era#my art#My thought process for their appearances here was sort of an average between their incarnations#the doctor is mostly taller and has messier and usually lighter hair while the master is shown to have had black hair in a flashback#also since Hartnell had white hair as an old man and we are not sure what color his hair was I thought what if it was always white#I've seen most draw him as blond but couldn't find any sources for it so I just went with this instead because it looks cool#I had fun making Prydonian robes designs!! I would love to design a bunch of Gallifreyan fashion for each Chapter and House it seems so fun#I also wanted to draw a Gallifreyan night!! since I never see any depictions of it even tho the planet should have nights#even if it's a binary system since the orbits would have to be very large for gravitational stability both suns would set at similar times#anyway I'll stop talking lmao š«”
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As per usual, itās DP crossover with (probably) DC, although you could probably adjust it for other fandoms
ANYWAYS
A little kid and his mother are trick or treating in another city, perhaps at some kind of event rather than knocking on doors, and the kid is dressed as Phantom. Itās very adorable, with his little ghost-shaped bucket and clearly homemade and already stained costumeālisten, white only works if you can just fly over street grime or phase it out of your clothesāand his slightly Iāll fitting wig. The kid is SO happy to be out and about dressed as his favorite, and maybe even showed it off to Phantom back in Amity Park before his family left.
The hero, insert whoever you wish here, is probably in civvies and just enjoying the event. The kid, meanwhile, is so glad when people ask who he is so he can explain, and so- the hero gets to hear ALL ABOUT the local town hero who is probably pretty small time despite the kidās clearly exaggerated stories. The hero certainly never heard of him, but the kidās mom confirms that Phantom really was the town hero, despite some mixed reviews of the poor guy.
āDid you manage to show him your costume?ā the hero asks.
āYeah! We went down to the cemetery to leave flowers and I got to show him my costume.ā
Wait. Cemetery? Maybe it was part of theme, because Phantom had to be named that for a reason, butā¦ it sounded likeā¦
The kid ignores the suddenly VERY still hero and instead turns to his mom. āMomma, do you think we should bring him candy? He doesnāt get to trick or treat like we do, and I can work super hard to get him a bunch!ā
The kidās mom just smiles. āWe could, but maybe we should bring him something homemade. I bet heād like something more filling, teen boys like him have a hollow leg.ā
The kid wrinkles his nose. āLike Vernie with the pizza bagels?ā
āLike your cousin, yes. We can make some cinnamon rolls and take them to his memorial, maybe bring some of the apples from your grandpaās gardenā¦ā
The hero is pretty much forgotten as the two-part family wanders off, not quite intentionally forgetting the hero is there so much as the hero somewhat accidentally ended the conversation when they just froze and didnāt ask anything further.
Not that the hero didnāt want to. But theyād learn something very serious.
Oneāthere was a small town hero theyād never heard of. Twoāthat hero was apparently a teen. Thirdāmost pressingly, the teen hero was both beloved enough to have kids dressing up as him and dead enough to have a grave.
Thisā¦ might require some phone calls.
#dpxdc#danny phantom crossover#meanwhile Danny. sitting on a giant marble slab that has the most ridiculous gag gifts a ghost could ever ask for#heās just like Oh Sweet Cinnamon Rolls!#he would try to convince people to bring him nasty burger but while val has MOSTLY gotten over her vindictive anger at Phantom DOES decide#that sheās gonna be petty and add cilantro to everything#because Danny has the cilantro soap gene#jokes on her heāll still eat it#Danny likes his little memorial in the grave. it helps settle him sometimes. also heās gotten to know the security guards for the cemetery#theyāre fun. a bit morbid. they LIKE his jokes so you can stuff it JAZZ#MEANWHILE the hero. Whomstever they are but like 90% of you are thinking either batfam or Justice league#are having just. a TOUCH of a crisis#now they gotta figure out where the kid and his mom are from without either of them figuring out#dealerās choice on what the GIW and why Amity Park isnāt on the radar#Iāll add my two cents bc when donāt I but Iām by and large not likeā¦ dictating this? anyways#I like making the GIW just a BIT more incompetent or just having some massive flaws as an organizational group#so they keep forgetting to tell people to not LEAVE and to keep quiet#average amity Parker if the GIW tried this anyways: aw thatās cute. anyways-#and if itās dc I guess you need to figure out how the jl never found out. so#i mean thereās a LOT of heroes and cities in dc#and amity park is just lost to the noise or. bc Fenton bad luck#every time Danny tried to call. the jl had some insane disaster and or their systems were down#he eventually figured he might actually be cursed- juryās still out on that -and heās saving lives by just handling it himself#he can handle rhe metaphorical mega thunderstorms if it means he doesnāt accidentally summon a fucking tsunami to hit the planet ya know?#the kid and the mom have no idea that what they said was Odd#they are just so used to it. amity park already was using death puns and had an. interesting history and relation with death#even BEFORE there was a dead kid flying around in his white gogo boots
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hii everyone š„šŖ½ i wanted to share that i will be traveling to cairo at the end of november and will be meeting with displaced Palestinian families. til then, i will be fundraising for these families in hopes of providing funds for them to pay for their rent, clothing, food, medical expenses, and any other needs.
to meet my goal, i am also planning on having a couple raffles throughout the next two months so stay tuned <3
update 9/14: enter my first raffle! [closed, prize claimed]
update 10/6: enter my second raffle [closed, prize claimed]
update 10/26: enter my last raffle [closed, prize claimed]
but for now, please reblog/share and donate to my campaign
#free palestine#will be traveling with Palestinian Egyptian and Sudanese artists / practitioners and can show proof of donation when the time comes!!#also will be updating my depop with new items and that money will be going to this too#if anyone has any questions pls reach out to me! i won't be publicly sharing exact details on my trip/group for safety reasons#kinda nervous to make this post bc of how little engagement any palestine posts that i reblog even though i have a large following#would be the world if yall can reblog/donate <3#*would mean the world
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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.
except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?
at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.
except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.
about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.
he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.
#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag#writeblr#it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal#fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho)#healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy#im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage....#1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind#and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes#2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception''#3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.''#idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh#im sure there are people who have this experience normally#but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists#when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band''#edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful#once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large#but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry.#but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes#but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally.#i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes#people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism#but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet .#i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY#and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound.#but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in#i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too.#here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change#was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort)#choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL
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my text disappeared here when i posted. what happened
#annyways whats the deal with the panicau. im not talking about like popularity or anythin g#why does n have the evil triangle solver and uzi is a ghost thats evil but also not and theres teeth??? in visor??????#i dont understand anything about it but the artstyle looks cool so i can ignore that#havent drawn this large in a while but i needed to do it for the pc screen to not be Totally crushed#a little crushing is ok. as a treat#i think i took this idea from a post i saw once but i cannot find it again for the life of me#and very intelligent prior me decided not to link it to myself so. lost media#still trying to figure out how i want to draw drone heads slash visors and have been since i started drawing md stuff#losing it#spent like an hour trying to draw something else before giving up and doing this instead#if youre lucky ill actually do it eventually#art#murder drones#murder drones uzi#murder drones n#serial designation n#do i even tag mdpanic?? does this count???#constantly afraid ill mess up tagging#which is something you can do and i might be doing#and also thats a joke. hopefully
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