#at first it seemed normal but after 2 years i swear every aspect of it was designed by people actively trying to torture me to insanity

[alternis]

adulthood is spending every day calling the previous homeowners absolute idiots for the horrors they inflicted upon your bathroom

[songwriteoc]

The Sims 4 Challenge - The Pack(age) Challenge - 10 Gen Version

Ever wanted to explore other aspects of the game, but never had the will to do so? Well with this challenge… you can!

You can use whatever mod you want – it is a fun challenge that you can add your own twists to if you follow the guidelines given!

Recommended Settings:

-        Normal or Long (does not matter)

-        MCCC (for certain generations if needed, but you do not really need it)

-        Do NOT use the More Trait Slot Mod. I will update to add more traits once complete.

You do NOT need to stay with one pack for Create-a-Sim. I understand some of these may require other packs to fit the aesthetic :P

The generations will span over 10, however you can stop at ANY generation if you want to stop.

You can also skip a generation if:

1.    You really dislike the Expansion/Game Pack

2.    If you do not have the Expansion/Game Pack

Generation 1 – The Comedic Genius (Base Game)

You have always dreamed of becoming a comedian. Ever since that one knock, knock joke as a toddler. Your first sentence was even knock, knock! Your dream is become the best comedian in Willow Creek, Newcrest and/or Oasis Springs! You also wanted to create the best comedy household, wanting a large family full of kids to explore all the arts of comedy! Although you were not always down for marriage, you still wanted to act like a happy family even through the comedy home life.

Being raised in an orphanage and finally finding a home once you aged up into a young adult is where your story starts.

 -        Traits: Childish, Family-Orientated & Cheerful

-        Aspiration: Joke Star

-        Create Young Adult (YA) Sim of Any Gender!

-        Reach Lvl.10 of Entertainer Career (Comedian Branch)

-        Max. Comedy Skill

-        Max. Mischief Skill

-        Have a boyfriend/girlfriend, NEVER MARRY!

-        Have 3 to 4 Children.

 Generation 2 – A Serious Detective (Expansion Pack: Get to Work)

You hated the way your family made you do clown behaviour, forced to make jokes that did not even impress you, but made you mad! On a day like no other during high school, you helped a classmate get their money back from their bully, making you best friends till the end of time, with possibly more feelings later? (This is your choice). To get out of your home, you spent majority of your life of high school going to the gym on the weekends to get away from the chaotic life of a comedy home.

You never understood why your family gave you siblings, making you feel overwhelmed with the number of kids your parents naturally had, making you feel bad for the children put up for adoption and left alone with no parents.

-        Traits: Hot-Headed, Ambitious & Athletic

-        Aspiration: Professional Athlete

-        Generation starts as Young Adult (YA)

-        Reach Lvl.10 in Detective Career.

-        Have One Best Friend Forever

-        Max. Logic Skill

-        Max. Athletic Skill

-        Adopt One Child

Optional:

-        Somehow with science, become abducted by an alien. (if it leads to a alien pregnancy, that is fine!)

 Generation 3 – Cooking is the Heart (Game Pack: Dine Out)

As a child, you always enjoyed watching your parent cook you fabulous meals – making them as perfect as you could imagine. Even for your own birthday, you always asked for cookbooks to read upon them so you could learn the recipes to start your own restaurant and teach your children to cook and hopefully take over the restaurant empire you want to build for your family!

Due to how your parent raised you, you were always keen on marrying before woohoo, which is exactly what you will do!

As a Young Adult (YA) this is when your story starts.

 -        Traits: Foodie, Perfectionist & Creative

-        Aspiration: Successful Lineage

-        Generation Starts as Young Adult (YA)

-        Gain 5 Stars in your Restaurant!

-        Max. Cooking Skill

-        No Woohoo before Marriage!

-        Marry before you reach Adulthood!

-        Have 2 Children! (If triplets, that is fine too!)

Optional:

-        Max. Baking Skill (Requires Get to Work)

-        Read Every Week (As if you are reading a cookbook every week)

 Generation 4 – The Unflirty Critic (Expansion Pack: City Living)

You have seen people fall in love, hated that your parent spent more times cooking in the restaurant with your sibling than taking care of you. They may of gave you attention, but what was it for? So, you could critic the food they make? You seemed to also help your parent cook amazing foods with your own critical thinking. Was this a career path for you? Seems so!

In school, nobody wanted to be friends with you due to how brutal honest you were with their gifts and how they acted. Everybody hated you, and the only friend you had was your own sibling who stayed beside you, telling you to do what you can with the goals you want in life, making you flee to the city of San Mychuno! Yours was to be a food critic. With no friends, you never learned to love, apart from that one hook-up one night at a high school party your sibling brought you to after you graduated. You despised love. You despised the very thought of it. You were the Agnes Crumplebottom of love, whacking people with your clipboard of critic responses.

 -        Traits: Unflirty, Vegetarian & Loner

-        Aspiration: City Native

-        Starts as a Teenager (Teen)

-        Lvl. 10 of Critic Career (Food Critic Branch)

-        Max. Charisma Skill

-        Never Marry!

-        Become Pregnant at a Party As soon As You Age Up!

-        Never Talk to Child till they are a Teenager.

Optional:

-        You may use MCCC to get your sim pregnant as a Teenager instead of as soon as they age up! (Still at a party!)

 Generation 5 – It is Nothing Like Twilight, I Swear! (Game Pack: Vampires)

Your parent always shoved you away. You always loved studying upon the supernatural and embraced the feeling once as a teenager, you befriended a vampire, only to have a teenager brain and ask to of been turned. Your now stuck as a vampire and need a way to find a cure for your offspring you want to produce.

You do not want your future child to live through the same fate as you, as you turn other sims into vampires like yourself, before falling in love with another vampire, making it a love for eternity. However, you always adored your grandparents cooking, its as if they gave you heaven for food.

Your sims story starts as a teenager!

 -        Starts as a Teenager (Teen)

-        Traits: Kleptomaniac, Bro & Jealous

-        Aspiration: Good Vampire

-        Purchase Almost Every Vampire Perk!

-        Be Turned as a Teenager (or early Young Adult)

-        Have 1 – 3 Children!

-        Find a Cure for Vampirism Before child(ren) reaches Teen stage(s)

-        Marry Your Vampire Love

-        Have HORRIBLE relationship with parent, but GREAT relationship with grandparent.

Optional:

-        You can rebuild your relationship with your parent before they die, if your Sim wants to anyway!

 Generation 6 – I will adopt one, no two… No, all six! (Game Pack: Parenthood)

Your grateful for what your parent did for you, creating a cure for the vampirism you were born with. Although, you feel as if you need to prove to your parent that you can be the best parent in the world! Unfortunately, you were born unable to have children yourself (can be edited in CAS, or through mods).

You make it your mission to adopt as many kids as you want and making sure to spoil them with your video game greatness and parenting skills! Making them feel loved and adored!

 -        Traits: Family-Oriented, Good & Geek

-        Aspiration: Super Parent

-        You Start Once they reach Young Adult (YA)

-        Max. Parenting Skill

-        Max. Video Gaming Skill

-        Adopt 6 Toddlers Between Your Young Adult and Adult stage!

-        Never Get a Job! (Paint, Write… etc. for money!)

Optional:

-        You can marry if you want. Requirements: MUST share ONE trait your SIM has!

-        Adopt to Max. Household Limit Between your Young Adult and Adult Stage!

Recommended:

-        Youngest Child is Next Gen!

 Generation 7 – Time to Meow to this Howling! (Expansion Pack: Cats & Dogs)

You were raised with a lot of adoptive siblings, making you feel tired of being surrounded by older siblings that rushed around you taking care of your parent(s). The only love you felt, was from that one cat you found on the streets on that one visit to Brindleton Bay.

Once you became a Young Adult, you moved to Brindleton Bay and decided to start your passion for having your own Veterinary and surrounding yourself with stray animals you found on the street or adopting cats & dogs from the computer and/or phone! Maybe also falling in love with your own co-worker you hired?

 -        Traits: Cat Lover, Dog Lover & Loves the Outdoors

-        Aspiration: Friend of the Animals

-        Max. Animal Training Skill

-        Max. Veterinary Skill

-        Own a 5 Star Veterinary

-        Adopt any Number of Cats & Dogs! (e.g., 3 cats, 3 dogs… 2 cats, 3 dogs… etc.)

-        Marry a veterinary co-worker!

-        Have child(ren) with co-worker! (Does not matter on how many)

  Generation 8 – Spring All Year! (Expansion Pack: Seasons)

With your family adoring animals, you adored them too! But there is something you always asked for winterfest and your birthday, and that was your own private greenhouse to grow your own flowers to build your own store to grow flowers and sell them!

Your own way of doing so, was getting yourself a job as a gardener, and helping to design flowers for your friends, family and customers that wanted their own flowers done as a hobby while you worked, which lead to your own romantic destiny… but was it a fling, or did you unknowingly become the serial romantic and had/got someone else’s child that wasn’t your lover’s?

 -        Traits: Loves the Outdoors, Non-Committal & Romantic

-        Aspiration: Freelance Botanist

-        Reach Lvl.10 of Gardener Career (Floral Designer Branch)

-        Max. Gardening Skill

-        Max. Flower Arranging Skill

-        Marry Your Highschool Sweetheart

-        Have One Child with Another Sim that ISN’T Your Lover!

-        Get Divorced from your Highschool Sweetheart!

-        Have One Child with your Highschool Sweetheart!

Optional:

-        As a Teenager before gen starts, you can start with the Serial Romantic Aspiration!

 Generation 9 – “You love me! You really, really love me!” (Expansion Pack: Get Famous)

You loved the silver-screen as a toddler, looking at the beautiful actors/actresses performing on-screen and knowing instantly that is what YOU wanted to do.

Always laughed at for loving the arts in the countryside, you moved out of Brindleton Bay with your family so you could start your dreams of slowly becoming the best actor/actress the sims world has ever seen and seeing them raise their children to be just as famous as them in Del Sol Valley! The generation starts once you are a teenager!

 -        Traits: Creative, Self-Absorbed & Snob

-        Aspiration: World-Famous Celebrity

-        Reach Lvl.5 of Acting Club (Teen)

-        Reach Lvl.10 of Acting Career

-        Reach 5 Stars as a Celebrity!

-        Max. Acting Skill

-        Max. Charisma Skill

-        Befriend a 5 Star Celebrity

-        Marry a Celebrity Same, or Higher Star Level

-        Get Money Worth of: $300,000

-        Have Three Children with Lover.

Optional:

-        Max. Singing Skill (City Living Required)

 Generation 10 – Mother Nature is That You?! (Game Pack: Strangerville)

A sudden village has recently come back into the news after centuries of being forgotten and put through protection. You were invested in wanting to figure out what was going on while balancing your own military career.

Before then being sent to Strangerville to see what was going on in the village itself! You got told you could bring one person with you for security, and safety. However, once your friend eats a forbidden fruit found in a plant – things suddenly go south, making you know what you had to do, but all this chaos has made you more paranoid and scared for what could happen if you fail.

 -        Starts as a Young Adult (YA)

-        Traits: Athletic, Paranoid & Clumsy

-        Aspiration: Strangerville Mystery

-        Reach Lvl.10 Military Career (Officer Branch)

-        Max. Fitness Skill

-        Max. Charisma Skill

-        Have One Child once The Mother is defeated (if twins or triplets, that is fine too!)

-        Live with your Best Friend in Strangerville

-        Find love once The Mother is defeated!

Optional:

-        You can bring a co-worker to live with you in Strangerville if you don’t have a best friend!

Part Two: Not Released Yet

Other Information:

There is a 2nd Part of this challenge going to be available once it is complete, in case you want to continue the generation for another 5 or so generations! Depending on the packs that are released that have careers, or something interesting to add.

Have suggestions for other packs that were realised before Strangerville? Say and I’ll put them into the part 2 of this challenge!

P.S. This is the first challenge, and it is in trial run. So there maybe some problems. If there is, please message me through here, or through my other social media:

Twitter: /@SongWriteOC  https://twitter.com/SongWriteOC

If you do the challenge, please use the hashtag #SimsThePackChallenge on all social media, such as Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr... etc. Even YouTube! <3 

[sohotthateveryonedied]

so i’m trying to write duke and i don’t think i’m writing him right. how would you describe his personality because with don’t trust fanon lmfaooo

(this was only supposed to be a paragraph or two i swear to god)

1. first things first, duke is a hardcore gryffindor. don’t let the yellow color scheme mislead you, okay. and while most of the time he’s depicted in fanon as “omg this family is crazy and i’m the only sane one,” it’s actually pretty much the opposite? if anything, i think the other batkids would be like “oh finally, someone who can match our level of chaotic energy. HEY DUKE WANNA BUNGEE JUMP OFF WAYNE TOWER—” and an hour later they’d all be in the batcave getting lectured by bruce for leading poor sweet innocent duke astray when really he was already planning on doing that this weekend.

listen, this is the kid who once jumped off a bridge to escape police. this is the dude who decided to fight criminals while they’re still eating their wheaties at 6am in a bright yellow suit. and while duke seems to be the best at following bruce’s command at the moment due to having been trained by him most recently compared to the others and is still figuring out how to be a hero, i’m positive that if bruce weren’t here to guide him, duke would be running around gotham taking down criminals anyway. i mean, he literally did do that with the “we are robin” kids. plus there was the whole thing when he was like ten years old and decided “i am going to singlehandedly stop the riddler in my light up sketchers and pikachu backpack. try and stop me.” 

duke is headstrong and has a strong drive toward heroism. he’s an extremely enthusiastic and passionate person in general, and i try to capture a little of that when i write him, even with mundane things like trying to beat his siblings to the last cupcake. 

2. another thing i noticed is that duke swears like a sailor in comics? seriously, this boy could give jason a run for his money with how many “@#!%” speech bubbles there are. i don’t know if this is just a trend the writers added in the comics i’ve read of him, or if it’s a genuine trait throughout every comic he’s in, but that’s something to make note of when writing dialogue for duke. after all, he did grow up in the narrows, so it makes sense that he’d use a lot of swearing and slang in his everyday vernacular.

3. i would also make a point of noting that duke is fairly young compared to the rest of the batfamily, being the second youngest after damian. duke is still a teenager in high school, and he acts like it. he’s got homework and friends and is eager to make a difference in gotham, trying to juggle everything and make it all work somehow. he’s stubborn and doesn’t give up easily, so it’s important to write him as someone who is trying to save the world while also struggling with finding time to study for his next math test. he's human. he doesn’t get to dedicate all of his time to fighting crime like cass or jason might be able to, since duke is still a mostly normal teenager with teenager problems.

4. and don’t forget that unlike the other batkids, duke still has two living parents. sure, they’re jokerized and might not ever be the same again, but they’re alive and that’s what holds him back from letting himself get as close to the waynes as he wants to. duke won’t be calling bruce “dad” anytime soon, and i think he’d have some internal struggle over stuff like holidays and birthdays with the waynes, remembering what his parents are missing out on and wondering if joining the wayne family is a betrayal to them. duke is very conflicted over this, even if he doesn’t say it directly. stuff like ducking out of movie night early or feeling a bittersweet pang during thanksgiving dinner makes sense for someone in his situation. 

(i usually ignore that aspect in my fics because i want duke to just be adopted and part of the family already, but not everyone does that, and that’s perfectly fine.)

5. honestly, duke is such a caring individual and we as a fandom need more of him being a shoulder for people to lean on because he’s?? so soft?? duke can be so sympathetic and rational when it comes to emotional problems. it seems like duke internalizes every bit of advice he gets from the people around him and uses it to inspire others and help them through their own problems. as tough and hotheaded as duke can sometimes be, he really is good when it comes to emotions.

6. duke is a smartass. he will 100% use sarcasm against any and every authority figure he meets, usually just for the hell of it. 

7. he’s very frank in general, usually the first to be like “okay full disclosure, we’re about to die right now. that sucks. anyway—” in a situation. he’s honest and tends to be upfront about his fears/anxieties, usually for comic relief, but i think it still counts.

8. okay i have to add that duke is also kind of a punk? he and jason have a lot in common because of this: they both grew up in one of gotham’s worse areas (jay in crime alley and duke in the narrows) and they’re both highkey deliquents. duke has no problem getting into fights or talking back to authority figures, and it’s gotten him in hot water on more than one occasion. it’s why he kept getting moved around the foster system before bruce took him in because no one wanted to keep him.

9. he’s also gotten so close with the other batkids and we love to see it!! duke calls cass “sis” and treats damian like the annoying little brother he never had and i adore every second of it. we haven’t gotten a lot of interactions between duke and the others aside from training and stuff, but he and jason have the whole “punk kid who got adopted by batman and is baffled by how rich people live” going for them, so they can bond over that. and duke is a thinker like tim, so they can hang out and do puzzles or play chess or whatever it is that smart people do. (and duke and steph are BESTIES i don’t care what anyone says.)

10. most of all, duke is still learning how the whole hero thing works. he’s young and he’s trying his best, but he also makes mistakes. he will be impulsive and screw up, and he’ll try and merge the lessons batman’s taught him and that his parents taught him and that other heroes teach him until it all makes sense in his own mind. duke isn’t experienced like dick or even damian, so he’s going to be lagging behind for a while until he grows until the role he’s made for himself.

other miscellaneous details to include: 

- duke is dating izzy, who used to be part of the “we are robin” gang with him - he used to live at the manor and now lives with his cousin jay, but honestly i just have him living at the manor in everything i write because i like it better that way - he can control shadows and light now! what a king! - duke secretly writes poetry and is good at creative writing in general  - this:

- duke is super smart?? he figured out that agent 37 was dick grayson without even trying?? i’m so proud of him - his biological father is this supervillain called gnomon so now duke has got four parents: his mom, his dad, his supervillain dad, and bruce (plus selina if you count her as the batkids’ stepmom, which i do) - jason calls him “narrows” and i love that

- and, lastly, the most important panel in the history of comics:

[shyrose57]

1: okay consider this:

Magic Hunter/Detective Influencer Jack Manifold

He gets tasked about finding out what is going on this weird little town that has been an urban legend for generations now.

Everbody points to the clothing store. Old, generations old, maybe even older than the town itself. If not the cause then atleast a hint.

Funny thing about Jack Manifold, as a child he died in a fire, but lady death had mercy on him. She send him back, the price for such an action was bad karma/luck and baldness. Not that he would now that.

Normally it's not that bad, but right now? In a magical town blessed by death herself? His luck is atrocious.

Not enough to kill, but enough to to annoy him to death.

Jack Manifold, zombie reanimated by death herself, trying to do his job as Buzzfeed Unsolved knock off.

2: Magic is living, pulsing through our veins, In all the different ways. For Fae it's the way they control the laws of nature and deal in contracts.

Demons too deal in names but also in the darker aspects for magic. Though dark is subjective, in the end it depends on the user. Demons just tend to like chaos and have societal and cultural differences, but they're trying!

Drawfs tend to exel in the chemical aspects of Magic, alchemy if you will, combing things to get something new, far better than anything anyother species could do.

Mers are primordial, the oldest race to live and yet the youngest to interact with the world above, having been secluded in the deepseas not so long ago, maybe a few hundreds of years?

Their magic is raw and not quite definable. It's the tides and the songs they sing, it's the ocean itself, you don't fuck with the ocean, a calm wave can turn in a storm very fast afterall...

Humans? Humans are magic in every breath their breath. Humans are love and hate. The heat of the smith and the creations of tools, weapon and jewelry. The coldness of ice sculptrues that enrapture the soul and marbel under our finger tips.

Magic is also the way Tommy sews with so much passion. Tommy is human in the purest way possible. He might not have magic of his own, but the fabric he works with has and more is not needed. When fae burn themselves on anger Tommy resonates, like a chameleon and does not fight what the fabric is made from. He doesn't try to conquer the fabric like so many other he wants to guide it.

Sometime he swears while working with certain fabrics he could hear voices, so far and yet so close. Maybe that's why he got into the habit of talking to the clothes he sews, about everything and yet nothing. About what he plans of making them be, who they will belong to how much he loves these peoples

A few times he even sang, he doesn't now what, it seems to be something from his deepest instinct whispered by the word itself, primordial like mers and yet even they could not hold a candle to the clarity Tommy sings with the world.

The clothing made from those fabrics? stunning masterpieces no one could ever hope to replicate -🤡

(Literally of this is the best thing ever, seriously)

1:

I love absolutely everything about this, but mainly-

Jack, after one minute in town: Yeah. Yeah this place is definitely full of magic.

Tommy, who's lived here all of his life, and is the literal center of magical activity: Yep, this is a completely normal town.

2:

!!!!

I also love this!! Oh, that's such cool world building, seriously.

Here's the thing about humans, that so many species fail to understand. Mer may be the oldest, but humans arose from them, and they were the first creatures to touch a land raw and untamed by wild magic. Some it loved, some it hated, but all were touched.

Tommy's bloodline runs back for millenia, courting magic braved by few, and ancient beyond knowing, but still remaining completely unchanged in their nature.

Not all of the world will bend for him as his fabric does, but from the smallest blade of grass, to the deepest ocean trench, all of it will gladly listen to the way his heart beats in tandem with it's own.

[dongofthewolf]

Everything in Between- Chapter 1

Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader

The reader stumbles across Abby one sleepless night and can’t help but become an absolute stuttering mess.

Warnings: swearing, mild violence, fluff, bad grammar lol

I’m extremely new to this so please be gentle T-T

Read chapter 2 here !

The first thing that you always noticed about a person was their eyes (it’s cliché you knew that, but you really couldn’t help it), and anyways… that was the first thing you noticed about her. The first time you saw her it was pouring outside; the kind of pouring where it got dark at 5pm and the reflections in the puddles on the pavement—partly distorted by the heavy raindrops—looked like fun house mirrors. It was brief and she only passed you for a second, but the clouds that were concealing the sun left a shadow of darkness in the air and in her eyes. Making her regularly blue eyes a much darker shade from the lack of sunlight, a blue that looked like the part of the ocean you can see from the shore but avoid from fear you may drown in it. 

You had forgotten your umbrella that day leaving your hair drenched, you were shivering from the cold and desperately made your way to your room as quickly as you could. But as you hastily walked with your head down in an effort to conceal your eyes from the raindrops, you bumped into her. She was a lot taller than you and was incredibly built, she had her long blonde hair in a neat braid and was wearing some simple cargo pants with a grey sweater. She was also carrying some bags but you were walking too fast to really get a good look at them. Although this was the first time you had seen her and it was only for a moment you’ll never forget those eyes, those dark blue eyes that made it seem as if she was hiding from something. That was the first time you saw her but it certainly wouldn’t be the last.

It was stormy again but at least today you were inside, the howling of the wind against the windows woke you up and when you glanced at the digital clock it read 2:30. You always had trouble falling asleep again once you were woken from your slumber, and found that you required at least an hour before you could actually sleep again. Since it was so late though you figured that the cafeteria would be empty and you could grab a cup of tea before going back to bed, you also often sat in the commons room to read because it’s pretty isolated from the rest of the place and very seldom did anyone else sit there too. 

You pulled a black crewneck over your messy hair and put on some slides before making your way down to the cafeteria, the hallways leading up to it were lit with fluorescent lights that burned your eyes when you stepped out of the darkness of your room. It was surprisingly silent (with the exception of your footsteps of course) and after living in a place constantly occupied by so many people for so many years, it was a rare occasion to find some peace and quiet; an anomaly that still surprised you to this day. 

The cafeteria was nothing special, there were 30-40 folding tables lined up near the big tear stained windows and next to the kitchen there was a communal fridge with a basket of fruits no one dared to touch. Cabinets lined the whole half of the room and you reached into the second last one to grab some chamomile tea before setting the kettle on the stove. 

You sat by the windows while you waited for the water to boil when you saw a strike of lightning, it was purple and quickly followed by a large cracking noise which weirdly enough didn’t quite startle you. You supposed that after all these years of living in a place that is universally known to rain more than anything, you become accustomed to the crashing sound of thunder and the sudden flashes of lightning. Plus, it’s a lot better than the sound of guns going off or those dreaded clickers that haunted your nightmares. So consumed by your thoughts you hadn’t even noticed the whistling noise coming from the tea kettle. It wasn’t until you heard an unfamiliar voice that nearly made you leap out of your skin, you turned around and standing there was the very girl you had briefly seen that rainy afternoon just three days ago.

“You gonna get that or should I?” She was wearing some grey sweats and a khaki tank top that showcased her huge biceps, you admired her toned forearms, unable to form any combination of words that wouldn’t make you sound like a complete and utter idiot. She must have noticed you staring though because she repeated the question with a raised eyebrow and a small smirk. “Hello?” She asked.

“Right… sorry” you immediately responded. You laughed nervously and hurriedly ran to the tea kettle, a small blush forming on your cheeks as you removed it from the stovetop. While pouring the hot water into a small cup you quickly threw the tea bag in so she wouldn’t notice your shaking hands, as you threw the bag in you quietly ignored the quickening beat of your heart. At this point you couldn’t tell if the shaking was because you were startled by her sudden presence or if you were nervous because of the literal goddess staring down at you.

“Sorry again about that I was just distracted.” You looked up and she was studying you with those same blue eyes, the intensity from her gaze made you ramble on.

“Did you want some tea? I accidentally boiled too much water, I guess eyeballing measurements just isn’t my forte.” You chuckled again, clearly flustered by this gorgeous woman looking at you in your damn pajamas. Somehow even at two in the morning she managed to look effortlessly beautiful and you couldn’t help but be fiercely jealous of her overwhelming confidence. Up until now, no one had ever had this effect on you, then all of a sudden this stranger looks at you once and BOOM you’re a stuttering mess.

“Sure, does this place have any chamomile tea?” She said nonchalantly while grabbing a chair from the stack in the corner. She sat in it backwards with her arms resting on top of the chair and you flashed a glance at her toned forearms “holy shit is she strong” you thought.

“Yeah, I’m having some too actually.” You poured out the tea and sat down across from her, this was the first time you had actually been able to really see her and you were in awe of how gorgeous she was; Her hair was in a simple braid which had a few strands astray (most likely from sleeping in it) and she had these adorable freckles that spread from her face all the way down to her arms. She was staring at her cup with those same intense blue eyes—this time the fluorescents adding a tint of green to them—she looked like a statue that was literally sculpted by the Gods and you couldn’t take your eyes off of her. As you looked down at her calloused hands that were cupping the warm ceramic cup, you noticed that they were a lot larger than your own, but they also had a delicacy to them; the kind of delicacy that deserved to be in a museum. Every aspect of her was absolutely perfect and never in your life had you seen someone like her, you were struck with this sudden need to know everything about her (even though she didn’t really seem like the chatty kind). Consumed by the essence of her beauty and strength you almost hadn’t realized that she was talking to you, and “oh God” You thought “I was staring again”.

“So uh… what’s your name?” It was obvious she was trying to fill the silence but there was a softness and kindness to her words, almost as if she was trying to appear harmless. 

“Y/n and yours?” You replied in the calmest way that you could even though your hands were shaking like crazy, you gripped on to your cup for dear life hoping she wouldn’t notice. You were always so terrible around new people and now with the combination of not just a complete stranger, but an incredibly charming and attractive stranger? You were surely doomed.

“It’s Abigail but you can call me Abby, most everybody does.” She was clearly not oblivious to your nervous manner (and your staring) but she pretended not to notice, probably to spare you the embarrassment. Having people stare at her was nothing new to Abby and honestly, she liked it. She felt powerful and strong when men were intimidated by her, but the way y/n was staring at her was different. It certainly wasn’t fear because despite the shaking of y/n’s hands that she tried so desperately to conceal, she didn’t look at Abby with fear “Perhaps it was admiration?” Abby thought. But she soon nudged any ideas of romanticism from her mind figuring that y/n was probably into those douchebags who act cocky and disrespectful but are too chicken to ask a girl out; Abby despised disrespectful people. However, if there was anything that Abby hated more than disrespectful assholes, it was embarrassment. Abby’s confidence was one of her greatest strengths, it was like a shield she put forward that helped her endure the incredibly misogynistic environment she lived in. She figured that the staring was just intimidation. Abby was quite confident in her ability to judge a person’s character and brushed any thoughts of attraction to the back of her mind, not wanting to risk the possibility of rejection or being wrong. 

“So what brings you to the cafeteria at this fine hour? Besides the tea of course.” She smirked, her smile was so infectious that you couldn’t help but smile as well.

“I woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep, figured I’d drink some tea and read for a bit in the commons room. Better than laying in my bed and staring at the ceiling for an hour I guess.” You stopped yourself before you could say something stupid or embarrassing. “What about you?”

“I just got here a couple days ago and I’m a pretty light sleeper which normally would be fine, but that damn thunder won’t shut the hell up!” She pointed her fist to the sky dramatically and you couldn’t help but giggle, she looked at you with a smile. “They stationed me here to do some work and I haven’t had much time to myself, they gave me some time off tomorrow and now thanks to this storm I’m gonna spend it passed out in my bed.” She paused, contemplating her words before continuing. “I’m glad I met you though, late nights are much better with company.” You could feel a heat trickle to your cheeks. “So what are you reading?” 

“Pride and Prejudice” You answered excitedly. “It’s my favourite book, I’ve read it like a hundred times. I guess I’m just a sucker for cheesy love stories” She grinned.

“It was good but Elizabeth? She was way out of Darcy’s league, I mean yeah she had pride but Darcy was prideful and snobby.” You giggled at her response and the thought of this tough and brawny girl reading Jane Austen. “I mean, if you’re gonna have a terrible character trait just choose one. Not both!” 

“Okay… But you gotta admit they were perfect for each other” You added. “Their weaknesses complimented each other and then their strengths the same. It’s like they were meant to find each other, and I mean just the thought of something like that gives me hope you know?” She looked at you with a raised eyebrow, urging you to elaborate. “Soulmates, I mean… just the thought of there being one single person on this entire Earth who was put here alongside you, the perfect match who’s strengths compliment your weaknesses and vice versa makes me feel some sort of hope.” You felt yourself getting carried away and decided to let her speak. “What can I say, I guess I’m nothing if not an optimist.”

“I get what you mean but I feel like that’ll just set you up for disappointment. There's so much more to life than just love and finding your ‘soulmate’. There’s thunderstorms, books, good food, there’s family and friends, and strangers that make you tea.” she glanced at you and your heart skipped a beat “this is insane!” You thought “Not only is she totally gorgeous, but she’s smart and funny? God she’s so perfect I think I might melt where I stand”

“Fine, fine, you got me there.” You smiled and was struck with this sudden feeling of security that you’d never felt before Abby, and though you’d never really admit it, you realized that all this time living in a facility had made you really lonely. Speaking to Abby was seriously the first time in this place that you weren’t thinking about the end of the world or crying over lost family and friends. At this small fold-out table in this dull and dreary cafeteria, you felt the first modicum of safety that you hadn’t felt for a really long time, and it was all because of her. You noticed that your mind had wandered off again of course but Abby’s mind seemed to be elsewhere as well, she had an almost nervous or unsure look on her face.

“Hey, so I know you said you were gonna go read in the commons room but do you think you could ditch Elizabeth and Darcy for a bit? I haven’t really gotten a chance to see this place and I was hoping you could maybe give me a tour.” Abby asked in a casual tone, hoping y/n wouldn’t notice the slight nervousness in her voice. 

“Of course! I’d love to show you around, though there isn’t much to see other than empty halls and abandoned rooms” You replied enthusiastically. You were ecstatic, she was the first person you had really connected with in a while and you jumped at the opportunity to spend more time with her.

“I don’t mind, as long as I have you to keep me company.” She winked at you and smiled warmly. You felt your heart skip a beat again “Is Abby flirting with me?” You thought. “Nah, probably not” She was the coolest and most beautiful girl you’d ever seen. What would she see in you? Plus Abby probably isn’t even into girls, she’s just being friendly.

You walked her through each of the empty halls and corridors while you guys chatted about books, friends, family, life before the outbreak, and everything in between. You even traded embarrassing dating stories in which you both had to stifle loud outbursts of laughter so you wouldn’t wake up the rest of the facility. While you were speaking about your various dating escapades you decided to sprinkle in a story about a girl to see Abby’s reaction.

“Okay okay I got a good one, so once I was dating this girl and we actually moved in with each other like a month into the relationship but that’s not important. Anyways, so I had this cat right and when we broke up a few months later and she moved out, she took the cat!” You both bursted out laughing. “She literally stole my cat and I was so pissed that I keyed ‘thief’ into her car.” 

“Remind me not to piss you off y/n, you’re a vengeful one.” Abby chuckled and responded casually. You were slightly unsatisfied, she hadn’t reacted to that statement (or any of the subtly gay references you made) at all and you couldn’t tell if it was because she liked girls or because she didn’t care. It didn’t really bother you that much though because this was the most fun you had had in a long time. When you were laughing and talking with Abby all the thoughts about your family and impending doom—thoughts that were once constant—had begun to fade away. All that mattered now was Abby, she was the best thing that had happened to you in a really long time and you were so grateful to have met her.

By the time you guys had decided to depart it was six in the morning, Abby walked you back to your room and you couldn’t help but feel like every atom in your entire body was vibrating. 

You had spent an entire night with this amazing girl who was now the first friend that you’ve had in a while, your cheeks were bright red and your heart felt like it was shaking. When you laid your head on your pillow to sleep you couldn’t shake the thought of those brilliant blue eyes, and that clever, knowing grin that made you melt. God, and you couldn’t forget those gigantic biceps, you just wanted her to crush your skull with those beautiful, freckled arms. You adored her, and as you drifted off into a deep and peaceful slumber you dreamt of the most incredibly gorgeous, funny, charming, and intelligent girl you had ever met: Abigail Anderson.

[mudhornchronicles]

dreamboat | greaser!frankie morales | part one

pairing: francisco “catfish” morales x reader; greaser!frankie x reader

warnings: smoking, drinking, swearing, lewd comments, mentions of racism.

a/n: We got ourselves a series, ya’ll. I cannot wait until chapter 2. I present to you – Greaser!Frankie Morales

masterlist

You gently close the door as your mother leans over to wind down the passenger side window. “You will be fine, sweetheart. It is absolutely normal to feel nervous! It is your first day after all.”

You nod and feel your tied hair bound up and down. The white ribbon falls on your cheek and you push it back. “I understand, mother. It’s just different than my previous school, that’s all.”

“And they taught you how to be a lady, did they not? You are properly educated, unlike these individuals. Now smooth your skirt down before it wrinkles. First impression matter, correct? I will see you after school. I love you!”

You tell your mother you love her too as you smooth down your white full-circle skirt and adjust your two notebooks on your arm. You wave a goodbye to your mother and watch as she drives her 1953 pastel yellow Pontiac your father had gifted her for her birthday.

You turn and take a good look at your new school and you immediately feel out of place. The cream-colored cement building looks old, but the lawn looks taken care of. The sounds of revving engines and the smell of cigarette smoke abuse your ears and nose. You are most definitely not used to those aspects of the place. Your old school was strict about noises and smells. The only smell they wanted lingering the air was that of perfume and the sound of the girls talking about the school curriculum.

What you see here would give the mistresses a stroke. You see couples shoving their tongues down each other’s throats, students smoking on campus, hot rods racing up and down the streets, and the boys throwing such obscene comments. As you walk up the path towards the building’s entrance, your eyes fall upon a group of five boys whose comments make a chill run up your spine.

“Hey paper shakers,” one calls out. “Why don’t cha shake those pom poms over in this direction? I’ll give ya somethin’ good to cheer about!” The guys snicker to each-other as Benny jokingly thrusts at the cheerleaders. The group hollers at the cheerleaders as they shout insults at the boys and run into the school’s building. You notice that four of them continue to laugh and yell other comments at the athletes, but the fifth just looks around and appears to shy away from joining his friends.

Dressed in black jeans, a white tee, and a worn black leather jacket, Frankie tries to hide away from his brothers’ banter. He never understood why they talk to betties the way they do and then complain that they don’t have a doll around their arm. Pope seems to be the one who is a bit like him, but that’s only because he’s felt the uncomfortableness on the receiving of impudent comments. Being Latino in this town wasn’t the most welcoming while growing up. His family was always met with derogatory comments just because of their appearance. He never understood why people thought it was okay to jump his father every other night on his way back home from work. He never understood why his mother was always denied jobs because she had an accent. He never understood why he rarely had friendships that lasted because their parents said that they couldn’t hang out with the “brown boy.”

Once he grew up, he understood what the concept of racism was. When he met Santiago, or Pope as Frankie called him, he learned that Santiago’s family left his town because they were threatened and when they wouldn’t leave, their house was broken into. The pair soon became best friends and were able to fight off their bullies with each other’s help.

Frankie had never been one to initiate a fight, but he would be the one to end it. Benny was always the fighter. Whether it was his battle or not, he would always be up to throw the first punch. When they made it to freshman year, the boys decided it would be best to create a group of friends that they could lean on when times got tough and to their luck, they met the Miller brothers, Will and Benny, and Tom, also known as Redfly.

You took a deep breath and clutched your books to your chest. You slowly walked up the stairs and as you revert your eyes down to the floor as you tried not to bump into someone and walked past the group – that was until you heard “hey there doll face, where’d you come from?”

You look up to see a tall blonde, younger than the other blonde, snicker at himself and wink at you. You look around to make sure the comment was directed at you and the group laughs. “Yeah, I’m talkin’ to ya sweetheart. I’m guessin’ yousa newbie?” You widen your eyes and steadily nod.

One of the brunettes steps up to you, takes his toothpick out his mouth and replaces it with a cigarette. He takes a deep inhale and blows the smoke in your face. You wave you hand in front of your face and cough as he lets out a laugh. “You that chick that escaped Saint Catherine’s?”

You shrug and nod once more, but with a grimace etched on your face. He raises his cigarette back into his mouth and puts his hand out to you for a handshake – you reciprocate the handshake.

“The name’s Tom, but you, pretty lady, can call me Redfly. Those two over there is Benny and his brother Will. This one behind me,” he points towards one of the two other brunettes, “this one’s Santiago, but call him Pope. You’re familiar with those religious names, right?” This comment earns him an eye roll from you, but it also earns him a scoff from the final member of his little clique.

Tom turns around and looks at his friend. “You trynna say somethin’, ‘Fish?” The brunette smirks and shakes his head. Tom lets out a “hmph” and nods. “This one’s Frankie. We call him Catfish because he may seem like a kicked puppy dog, but the guy can fuck someone up if he really gotta.” You nod and look over to Frankie and find that he’s already looking at you.

You notice just how right Tom was when he described Frankie as a puppy dog. Frankie’s eyes are brown deep-set eyes are captivating. His lips are pink and plush – making you want to give him a big ol’ kiss. His rugged hair calls out to your hands to run your fingers through it. You suddenly lost the ability to speak, so you resulted in clumsily wave a hello, but resulting in your books falling to the ground.

You began to kneel over to pick them up, but a hand stopped you from doing so. Frankie bent over to pick up your things, dusted them off, and handed them to you. What you didn’t see was the boys smiling at seeing their brother be dumbstruck over a girl.

You took your books back with a shy thank you to Frankie and him saying “no problem.” He caught sight of your schedule you received in the mail the day prior and smiles to himself.

“I see you have World History first. Is it with Robinson? May I?” He puts his hand out for your schedule that is taped on the front of your notebook. You pass him your blue notebook and he starts to analyze your schedule. Once he’s satisfied, he gives you back your notebook. “I have classes near yours. I can walk you if you’d like?” Before you’re given the opportunity to answer, Frankie’s friends burst out into laughing fit so loud, the students passing by look over to see the cause of the sound – looking right back to where they were when they see who it was.

“Whatcha gonna do, ‘Fish?” Will teases, “gonna take the new girl on a grand tour of the school? She don’t look the type to give it up behind the bleachers, pal.” Frankie turns red and stutters his denial of the accusation. The boys laugh at him as he nervously tugs on his leather jacket.

“I’d love if you would, Frankie. I haven’t a clue where I’m going, and I really don’t want to get lost on my first day.”

“Yeah, sure. That’s cool.” Frankie nods and stuffs his hands in his pocket.

“Ya might wanna go now, ‘Fish. Princess here ain’t gonna wanna be late,” Tom teases. Tom nudges his head towards the other side of the building. “Let’s go Bandits. Teach’ aint gon’ misses us too much. We’ll see ya in a bit, Frankie.” The boys walk away with Pope and Will giving Frankie a pack on the back with a chuckle – leaving you and Frankie alone on the steps.

“Are they not going to class? It’s the first day and they’ll make a bad impression on their first period instructor.” You ask. You wonder why the boys wouldn’t go to their homeroom, especially being the first day of class.

“They’ll get there… eventually. We can go though. I don’t wanna make ya late or anythin’.” He gestures for you to start walking in front of him, but you won’t walk until knowing something first.

“Frankie, will you be going to homeroom? They said they would see you in bit. Are you just taking me to my classroom and skipping your first period?”

Frankie gets red and shakes his head furiously. “Nah, I ain’t those idiots. My parents would flip their shit if I had to retake a year.” You smile up at him and nod. You reach out to take his arm, as your old school taught you a gentleman should, and were shocked when Frankie pulled away as you touched his arm.

“Sorry, doll. Didn’t mean to scare ya.”

“I was just taking your arm, is all.” You cocked your head to the side. Every man you’d been escorted by has always given you their arm.

It was his turn to act confused. He knew exactly what you were doing and why, but he had a reputation to uphold and it wasn’t him being a gentleman. “What does that mean? Whatcha takin’ my arm for, doll?”

“Nevermind. Shall we?”

Frankie leads you into the crowded building. Students were running everywhere, and voices drowned the pair of you. He takes you to the second level of the building and leads you down the hall and taking a sharp left. You’re a bit lower than he is, but with each step, you start to really get a good luck at the back design on his jacket.

“What does Bandits mean?” Frankie turns around and by instinct, looks at the back of his jacket.

“It’s our group. Call ourselves The Bandits,” he says with “The Bandits” in air quotations.

You stifle a giggle, and he smiles showing of his dimple on his right cheek.

“Yeah, Pope came up with it. I just ran with it.”

“Do you steal?”

“Nah. Pope just thought it sounded cool. Redfly wanted the name “The Unarrestables,” but got arrested two weeks later for mailboxing 7 blocks.” You let out a loud laugh, covering your face with your notebooks, and Frankie looks over at you and smiles. He hasn’t been able to laugh the way he just did in a long time. As you share a funny story about your former mistress skirt being caught in a window, the two of share more laughs as you ultimately arrive at your homeroom’s door.

“Here we are. Room 249… World History with Lloyd Robinson. I’ll come back for you after class to take you to second period. That cool with ya?” You smile and nod. You’re a bit sad that you made it so soon, but quickly disappears when he mentions coming back for you.

“That sounds great, Catfish. Thank you very much.” He lets out a chuckle and nods at you.

“You can call me Frankie. I like the way you say it, doll.” Just as he starts to walk away, a voice makes him freeze in place and slowly turn back around.

“Mister Morales, will you not be joining us today or is your cigarette of much more importance?”

“Mister Robinson. How’s the new kid?” Frankie nervously scratches the back of his head.

“Frankie, get in this classroom or you’ll receive a failing grade starting now.” Mister Robinson gives you a warm smile in comparison to his frown towards Frankie and goes back into the classroom.

“Wait a minute. You have the same homeroom as I do? You said yours was near!”

He sighs and holds his hands up in surrender. “I guess I’ve been caught. We have the same classes, lucky you.”

“But this is AP World History.”

“Just because the guys I run with don’t give a shit, don’t mean I don’t either.”

You stand in front of him and cross your arms underneath your breasts – eyes narrowed and staring into his. “You are just full of surprises aren’t you, Frankie Morales.”

He looks deep into your eyes and smirks. He adjusts his jacket and runs a hand in his hair. He reaches for the handle and opens the door open for you. 

“Ladies first, doll.”

[i-need-entertainment]

It’s my Fault...right?

Character: Komori x female reader **TOXIC RELATIONSHIP** Washio x female reader...Pretty long too..

WARNINGS: Toxic relationship, mental and emotional abuse and manipulation, gaslighting, reader thinking things are her fault. ANGST, some yandere themes/behaviors.

*So uh...this got pretty uh, pretty rough. I would not recommend reading this if you do not like angst. Also, I love Komori and I am in love with Washio, so this one hurted.*

@motoyafightclub​ I hope this was angsty enough~😌

**PSA: I AM IN NO WAY ROMANCING OR EXCUSING ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR, THIS IS AN ANGST, IT WILL NOT END WELL. I AM VERY CLEAR THAT THIS IS A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP, IT IS ABUSIVE, IT IS NOT HEALTHY, OKAY OR JUSTIFIED!! I DO NOT THINK KOMORI WOULD EVER BE LIKE THIS, BUT THIS IS FANFICTION, IF YOU DO NOT LIKE IT, DO NOT READ IT!**

Komori Motoya was known to all as a joyous, kind and considerate man. He was hard working and inspiring, he could light up a room just by walking into it. That was how everyone saw Komori Motoya. Everyone except you, who knew much, much better.

Komori was a nice guy, he was always smiling and always positive. But he was also incredibly two faced. You were 16 years old when you met Komori. He had come up to you one day during lunch in your second year of high school, asking if you could help him with some class work he had been struggling with. It was on your second study session when you realized he didn’t need your help at all.

When you asked him about it, he simply confessed he felt he needed an excuse to talk to you, him feeling you wouldn’t have been interested in getting to know him. You, who had been admiring him from afar for the past 2 years let him know that was not the case, and the ‘study sessions’ turned into get togethers. About 2 weeks later he asked you out officially, you of course said yes.

That was 7 years ago.

A lot can change in 7 years, a lot did change.

But nothing changed as much as he did.

To most, he was still the same happy-go-lucky Komori, always smiling and cracking a smile. But that was when he was out of the house, and the two of you weren’t alone. Because alone…well, you didn’t know who he was when it was just you two.

You couldn’t place just when he changed either. There was no traumatic experience, no negative changes made to his day to day life. And yet he was…off. He didn’t like you hanging around your friends as much, which confused you, he always liked your friends. But he would never lie to you so you started spending more time with him, and less time with your friends.

It seemed to be that way with most aspects of your life, if he didn’t like something, you changed it, no questions asked. Asking questions only made him mad, and you didn’t want him mad, you wanted him to be happy! So you did as he requested, even if you yourself didn’t think it was fair.

You could tell he wasn’t the same, at least not to you. But it became most noticeable when you two moved in together when you were 19. You had been going to college and he had advanced greatly in his career, your relationship was steady and strong, so it seemed like the perfect time to take that next leap.

It started off small.

He was always a little bit more irritable than he normally was, nothing too major. It could be from you leaving a plate in the sink even though you did dishes that morning, or you forgot to move the washed clothes into the dryer one time. But it was also on days he had a rough practice, so you let it slide.

Why wouldn’t you? You knew he didn’t do it on purpose..you knew he didn’t mean it. Why are you upset? Why are you getting defensive? Are you questioning him? Why are you doubting him? He just had a bad day, he can be upset, he deserves to be, you do not.

Every time he blew up at you it always ended the same way, it was your fault because you overreacted.

That was one thing you learned after living with him for 3 months, you were the one at fault, not him. And you had no right to suggest otherwise.

But it wasn’t bad, no. He was having a lot of bad days anyone would be upset! I mean…sure, he shouldn’t be directing it at you, but…he can’t help it, he’s not doing it on purpose. It doesn’t mean anything. You know your Toya loves you, he tells you every day, so why would you doubt your precious Motoya? Stop being a terrible girlfriend…

It wasn’t long before you stopped questioning the biting words, he threw towards you, because after months of hearing them, you started believing them too.

He was right after all…wasn’t he? I mean, isn’t he always?

The next big change you noticed was how utterly controlling he became. It wasn’t just about what you two ate for dinner, or what movie you watched. He made the decisions about everything. Specifically every decision about you. What? Didn’t you like the dress he picked out for you? It doesn’t matter if it wasn’t your style, you love him, don’t you?? If you loved him, you wouldn’t question him.

Ah, that’s the other thing he had become exceptionally good at. Guilt tripping.

If there was ever a moment he didn’t want you at a specific place at a specific time, it was simple; you wouldn’t go.

It had been your best friends 21’st birthday when this happened. She had wanted to go out to dinner, nothing crazy, just a nice dinner with her friends and maybe a little shopping. You swore you had told him; you were sure of it. So you were utterly confused when he walked into your shared bedroom, eyes narrowing at the sight of you dressed up nicely.

“…Where are you going..?” You turned around in shock, heart beating unnecessarily fast. You gulped as you fumbled with your words. “U-uhm, it’s Aiko’s birthday, I’m going out to-“ “You’re what?” You stopped talking as your gaze met his ice cold one, eyes unwavering as they stared you down. His stance was relaxed, but it was anything but cheerful. He knew the power he held over you, how else was he supposed to watch over you? Keep you safe…love you. This was what love was. And after 5 years, he thought you knew that.

“I-I told you two days ago..” His eyebrow raised as he very slowly took steps towards you, you unable to go anywhere. “..I don’t remember that sweetheart, are you sure you told me? Because…I specifically remember asking you to tell me things a week in advance…” You looked down as you nodded, hands clasping together In front of you as he stopped before you. Even though you were sure he had never told you that…

He sighed as he started to play with a piece of your hair, “You know I hate when you don’t communicate with me…you’re supposed to let me know these things..you’re supposed to listen to me, you know how hard I work for both of us, you know that…don’t you?” You very meekly nodded, and he shook his head as his hand dropped down to his side.

“Well, you can’t go out, text your friend and tell her you can’t make it.” Your head shot up at his words. “But- Toya, please..I…I haven’t seen her in months and-“ “And?” You gulped at the definite sounding tone he used, but you almost screamed when you saw the look in his eye. There was no trace of the fun-loving Motoya you knew and loved, there was barely anything in the glare he was giving you. But you knew better.

That was two years ago.

And despite your constant wishes for him to change, for him to go back to being the sweet, kind Toya you knew and loved, he was good at reminding you that wasn’t how things were. You thought that was just how it was, he was your first relationship, your first love, your first everything actually…

How could you know better when all you knew was Komori Motoya?

You’ve been out of college for a year now, but you hadn’t gotten a job yet. Your dream job. I’m sure you can guess why you didn’t have a job.

He had been downright insulted when you suggested it, the thought of you being off for a whole 8 hours by yourself, away from him. Out of his reach. Even if all you did now was sit at home and wait for him.

To him the idea seemed downright outrageous, the mere fact you even suggested it being a problem in and of itself. But to you..? A job sounded like freedom. It sounded like being able to do things for yourself again, getting to make (at least a few) choices for yourself, and perhaps the most appealing, it was time away from your lover.

You stilled as the thought crossed your mind. Why do you want time away..? Don’t you love him? Don’t you need him, don’t you rely on him for, everything?

But the more you had these thoughts, the less they made sense.

Wait a minute…you were your own person...weren’t you? Isn’t it your right to think for yourself? To try new things? To make decisions for yourself?

That’s how you found yourself sneaking away to the living room at 11:00 one night, waiting until Komori was sound asleep to use your laptop. You spent the next 2 hours browsing for a job, something, anything you would qualify for. Then you found it.

It was small, you would need to work hard, but you could do it. You took a deep breath as you started the application process, finger shaking as you pressed ‘enter’ and submitted It to the company. You almost smiled, almost, that is until the living room light switched on.

“…what are you doing up so late sweetie?” You froze. He walked towards where you were sitting, swiftly catching the screen right before your successfully closed it, eyes narrowing when he saw what was on it. His brows furrowed as he narrowed his eyes, expression growing more and more frustrated as he looked at the screen before him.

“What is…why did you…and behind my back?” Your hands gripped the edge of his t-shirt, doing whatever you could to will yourself to not cry. “I..I’m sorry but…I-I had to..please, I swear I’ll ask next time but, please let me have this!” You completely broke down, sobs racking your body as you cried. He closed the laptop and set it down on the coffee table, walking over and holding you in his arms.

You didn’t even know why you were crying…guilt? Fear? But why…what did you do?

“…you know you shouldn’t go behind my back, it’s not fair to me. You know better…it was selfish of you, cruel…am I not enough for you?” You shook your head as you pulled away, “Yes! Yes you a-are and I’m sorry. I-I promise I’ll always listen, please! I’m sorry!” He smiled, If that’s what you’d like to call it, as he placed a tender kiss on your forehead. The tenderness gone in a second when his eyes turned to stone. “Fine…but you will never stay late or go out with anyone from work. You go there, and you come straight back here. Do you understand me?” You nodded as you sniffled, holding him tight against you.

That night seemed like a win, and at the time it seemed like it was fair. It made sense; he was doing it because he loved you obviously! Now, in the past 7 years he had yelled, thrown things, demeaned, and degraded you and made you feel completely worthless.

But he never put a harming hand on you, not once.

So it couldn’t have been abuse…he didn’t hurt you physically, he just didn’t understand that what he said had such a devastating effect on you …he didn’t understand the way he broke your heart in two…that’s all this was, a big misunderstanding. You were mixing things up, you were making this a big deal. This was your fault.

I mean…wasn’t it always?

Slipping on your new work shoes, you exited the apartment, shutting and locking the door behind you. Komori left for work about an hour before you did, so it was on you to lock the door and such.

After meeting your new boss and getting the necessary training you would need, you sat down at your new desk. You were an up and coming event coordinator for the Japan Volleyball Association. Oh yeah, that was why he let you take the job, because it was still connected to him. But it was a job nonetheless!

2 months had gone by, and the job was going great. You were making quick progress in your career, and your bosses had taken notice of you. The only downside was you didn’t see Komori as much…but as the days went by…it started to feel like less and less of a downside…things, “normal” things started to seem less and less normal, and increasingly…toxic.

Right now you were walking through the EJP stadium. Your boss had sent you down to the stadium to coordinate some practice games between EJP and some other teams.

You walked through the hallways, heels clacking on the linoleum floors. You were just about to enter the open elevator when “Oof-“ You winced as your bottom met the cold hard floors, “I’m so sorry, are you alright?” You lightly laughed as you nodded your head, opening your eyes to meet the slightly widened ones of Washio Tatsuki.

Clearing his throat, he offered his hand, you gratefully taking it and allowing him to help you up. “I’m fine, it’s my fault I should have been paying more attention…” You looked down as you knelt to the floor, scurrying to pick up the many papers that had scattered when you felt a presence beside you; noticing that he had kneeled beside you and was helping you gather the papers.

You felt like crying. Not only had you only talked to this man a handful of times, but you had bumped into him and inconvenienced him, and here he was picking up the papers you dropped. The gesture was so simple, and when you thought about it, pretty normal. But there was something so simple, so utterly kind that struck you right in the heart. This was how Komori used to treat you…this is what it was like for someone to do something nice for you..

There was no complaining, no expectation for something in return, just a kind smile as he gave you back your papers neatly stacked back together.

“I’m sorry, they’re probably out of order.” You shook your head as you swallowed, “I’m sure it’s fine…thank you, it’s nice to see you Washio” He nodded as he stood, you standing as well. “It’s been awhile, it’s nice to see you L/n. I was getting worried, I haven’t seen you in awhile.” You offered a small smile as you nodded. “Well…I just don’t go out much anymore…but uhm, I should get going.” He nodded, “It was nice to see you again. Oh, and the office you need is on the other side of the stadium.” You groaned as you dragged one of your hands down your face, sighing and muttering an ‘of course it is’ as you lightly laughed.

Washio offered a small smile, “I was headed that way, would you mind if I walked you there?” You blinked, You knew you should refuse, say you could find it by yourself. But he was being so…kind. So respectful…So much like what Komori used to be… You couldn’t refuse. “Not at all.”

You hadn’t done anything bad, you had run into him and he offered to help you find your destination. There was absolutely nothing wrong with the encounter, and when Washio asked for your number to be friends again, you gave it to him. There was nothing wrong with that either. Afterall, you used to be friends with him.

When Komori had started at EJP, your relationship hadn’t gotten so bad He often took you with him to social events and team things, and you had gotten along well with the middle blocker. It had been concerning to him when it was like all of a sudden you had dropped off the face of the earth, Komori always having a reason as to why though..

There really was nothing wrong with the encounter, or what followed.

But when you came home that night…things were not okay. As soon as you stepped foot in the house you could feel Komori’s glare slicing through you. You gripped the strap of your purse as you willed yourself not to break.

“What happened earlier with Washio?” Your eyes widened, how did he know..? “Answer me!” You flinched as his voice echoed off the apartment walls. “I ran into him a-and he helped me! That’s all! I swear!” He snarled as he walked towards you, you yelping as he tore your bag away from you, frantically searching for something. “Where is it?” “where is wha-“ “Your phone!” You took a step away from him.

“…why do you want to see my phone..?” He glared at you, “So I can delete his number.” Your eyes widened. No…he couldn’t do that…that’s not…it’s not fair.

You gulped as you clenched your fist, “….no..” One of his eyebrows lifted. “…no?” You looked to him with tears in your eyes, be it from fear or from pain was unknown. “No…you can’t look in m-my phone…you can’t- you can’t control me anymore…I am my own person, you don’t own me…It’s not my fault.” This wasn’t okay, the words, the thoughts, nothing about this was okay. And it had to end…Before he could so much as blink you spoke again “….goodbye Motoya..” Not bothering to grab your things (not like you had anything important there anyway) you turned around and headed back to your car (luckily your keys had been in one pocket, your phone in the other).

You got in your car, and you drove. Adrenaline coursing through your veins as you drove. You got 15 minutes before the tears started falling. 7 years…you had been with him for 7 years…and it was all gone.

You pulled into the parking lot of some random fast food place and pulled into one of the more secluded parking spots. You gasped for air as you continued to cry, all of the tension that’s been collecting inside of you releasing itself through your cries. Your phone started buzzing, and after wiping your eyes on your sleeve you checked to see the caller ID, quickly declining the call from ‘Toya<3’ before you blocked his number, deleting your social medias as you did that. You spent an hour in that parking lot, crying and reflecting, and as you did things started to make sense, and you started to see things about your relationship that you hadn’t.

For starters, it was not a good relationship. At all. He was manipulative and cruel, and controlling is an understatement. He made you feel like you were always at fault, like everything bad happened because of you. But that’s not true…you are more than that.

Sniffling and wiping your still damp eyes on your even damper sweater sleeve, you picked up your phone and called the one other person you could.

It was a gamble, and it would no doubt be weird, but something was telling you to make the call.

So, you scrolled through your short list of contacts and clicked on his.

*riiiiiing* *riiiiiing* *riii-* “Hello?” You sighed, “Hi, Uhm, this is L/n from earlier, *sniffle*, uh, I’m really sorry to call you, but um…could I stay with you? I know that sounds really weird and probably creepy but. *Sniff* Motoya and I Just broke up and- and I need to talk to someone and…and I need somewhere to go…” The other side of the line was quiet for a moment, “I’ll text you my address, please be safe, call me when you get here I’ll come down and get you.”

That was the moment you knew, Washio Tatsuki was someone you could rely on.

Which was good, because as of the moment he was the only one you could rely on.

You spent the night crying your eyes out on Washio’s shoulder as he did his best to comfort you. He wasn’t used to being peoples go-to guy for comfort, but he definitely wouldn’t turn anyone away, and especially not you. So, he listened when you needed to rant, gave advice when you asked for it, and soothingly rubbed your back when you started hiccupping from crying so hard.

You thanked him as you carefully sipped the cup of tea he had made you. Your eyes burned, slightly squinted as you gingerly sipped from the warm cup. You were exhausted; physically and emotionally drained, and heart broken. “..sorry…I’m a mess…” He shook his head, “Don’t be sorry, you have nothing to be sorry for.” You shakily set the cup down when you started to cry again, elbows resting in your lap as you clutched your face with your hands. Washio started to freak out a bit, he had spent the past 2 hours consoling you, did he really just make you cry again?!

“I-I’m sorry, it’s just,” You laughed, maybe a bit more from hysteria than humor but you laughed nonetheless. You sniffled and rubbed your eyes before looking up to him, smiling up at him. “It’s been so long since I heard that…thank you..thank you so much.” He smiled and handed you another tissue, you taking it and wiping the new tears that had fallen.

You spent the night in his guest room, and for the first time in who knows how long, you slept very well. Because for the first time in who knows how long, you felt safe. Washio made you feel safe.

Seeing as your work was close and you needed some time to get back on your feet, Washio offered to let you stay with him until you found a place of your own. And from there, you two got close. He was someone you could depend on. He was honest and steadfast, he never pinned his wrong doings on you and he was clear with his intentions. He never twisted your words or placed blame, he was so incredibly good to you, and you weren’t even dating.

Although…it wasn’t completely out of the question..

It had been six months since your break up with Komori, and you were still living with Washio. And after countless late-night conversations and several deep conversations, you decided you were ready to move on with your life, from your first love. You were ready to move on from Komori, and move on with Washio. So, you two started dating.

Your life had been going great, but there was this unmistakable feeling of doubt, of guilt eating away at you. No matter how far you pushed it away, no matter how much you ignored it, it was always there. But, you ignored it, or tried to. You had other things to think about!

Washio was an incredible boyfriend, he truly was. He was everything you could have ever asked for and more. He was more than you deserved…were you even good enough to call yourself his girlfriend?

You had gone to the store to get some groceries for dinner. You held the small list in your hand as you scanned the grocery aisle shelves, looking for the specific thing you needed. You jumped a bit when your hand bumped into someone else’s, someone who had been reaching for the same item.

You turned to apologize when you stilled. “Hey Y/n, it’s been while.” You swallowed and tried to smile, “Hello Motoya….” The aisle had been empty aside from the two of you, and you were feeling increasingly uncomfortable.

“So, Washio huh? He must treat you well.” You nodded, “yeah, he does.” Komori looked at you, that same dangerous glint in it. “He’s a great boyfriend I’m sure but…it’s too bad you can’t be a great girlfriend.”

You glared as you stopped yourself from hitting him. “Before you get all mad, look at the facts. You don’t deserve him because you’re not meant to be. Don’t you think he’s sick of taking care of you all the time? Don’t you think maybe he doesn’t want to deal with you? Well? Can you look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t think those things, I think you’ve forgotten, I know you.” He stepped closer and grabbed your wrist, pulling you closer to him. Leaning down to where his mouth was right next to your ear he spoke in a low voice.

“..You’re mine, that’s how it is…you will never have anyone else because you don’t deserve anyone else, I am the only person who will ever love you, who ever can love you, you need to accept it.” He pulled away, a feeling of satisfaction running through him as he saw the walls begin to come crashing down inside of you. Watching each and every doubt that had been circling your mind slowly take control of your thoughts and rationality.

“Face it, you’re just not enough for him, I mean, c’mon Y/n. He’s a professional athlete that could have anyone, he’ll leave you someday…but I won’t. I’ll always be here, because I’ve always been there. I am home for you, and I know you know that. Don’t throw away 7 years, not after all we’ve been together, come back to me.”

You knew what you should do. You should scream, run out of the store and into Washio’s arms. Heck, you wanted to do that more than anything. But. He was right…Washio didn’t deserve that…he could do so, so much better, you were just wasting his time.

He shouldn’t have to put up with you…it’s not fair…was this all you did? Cause the people around you pain?

You wiped the tears that started to fall, “…fine…”

Komori Motoya was known to all as a kind and fun person, always there to support a friend and the life of the party.

But you knew better.

And you should’ve known better than to think you could get away, since you’ll always just come crawling back to him. You should’ve known better than to got to that grocery store alone. And as Washio spent the night alone, phone still where he dropped it after reading the text you sent, breaking up with him. He knew he never should’ve let you go alone.

But even if you knew better, if you knew what you were going back to, you couldn’t complain. This was on you after all.

I mean, wasn’t it always?

[with-love-anu]

Don’t say goodbye

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader Summary: Fred is hardly around to support you anymore, and you’ve had enough Warnings: swearing, angst, heartbreak Word Count: 1,847

You sat by the fire waiting for Fred to come home. It was 11:35.

Fred and you had started dating each other in your 6th year. You had fallen in love with his mischievous and light hearted personality. Fred was an amazing boyfriend. He would pick up some wild flowers on his way to come meet you, supported you in every way possible, was the best friend you could ever ask for, and above everything else; he made you happy. He had asked you to move in with him about an year ago and you’d never agreed to something so readily. The two of you lived near the Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes in a small, 2 bedroom apartment with George living just downstairs, sharing his apartment with Emilia.

Everything was going great, except Fred had been real busy with his shop lately. You had a job at the ministry. So, you usually got up around eight, gave him a kiss on the forehead, freshened up, made breakfast for you both, leaving his with a warming spell and a note and left for work. You never had the heart to wake him up, not when he came back so late. You sighed. It had been so damn long since you spent time with him. You couldn’t even remember the time when he last kissed you or even held you or asked about your day. And it had been going on for months. You had confronted him about it several times. His answer had been the same. He promised he would try.

You felt alone. Fred seemed so far away. There had been uncountable times, sitting alone, having dinner and having the urge to share something with Fred only to remember he wasn’t there. So many times running your hand over his side of the bed, missing him pulling you on his lap, leaving kisses all over. So many times, just needing his warmth or his understanding face as you ranted about something that got you all riled up. You looked at the time again. It was near midnight and yet there was no sign of Fred. You had got a huge promotion at work today and you wanted him to be the first person you shared the news with. But as hours passed, your excitement dulled. The ice over which you kept the firewhiskey had melted. The food was cold, and you felt your stomach churn and felt tears prickle your eyes. There was a pop and the door opened to reveal Fred, looking all disheveled. He looked at you giving you a small smile and went towards the bedroom.

“Fred…” you whispered as he came out of the room.

“Yes, sweets?” he asked and you took in a deep breath. You had to tell him.

“Fred, you really need to change your work schedule.” You said gravely. Fred frowned.

“I don’t see you Fred. I never get to see you or talk to you or spend even a little bit of time with you. It’s like I’m living alone. I got to see you much much more before I even moved in with you!”

“I’ll try. I promise.” Fred said taking out some plates.

“No, Fred. That’s what you tell me every time. I want you to tell me you’ll be home by 7 tomorrow, like a normal person.” You hissed.

“What do you want me to do, huh?” Fred snapped. “I thought you’d be supportive of me and the business.”

“Don’t you dare say that!” you sneered. “I have been there for you at every step of the way. What I am asking you is to take out time for me too! I need you here too; money and riches are not the only aspect of your life!”

“Well, excuse me for wanting to earn enough money for both of us. For wishing you didn’t have to work and live a happy life.”

“Fred.” You yelled. “You know how much I love my job. I am happy working. What has gotten into you? You were always supportive of me!”

Fred took a deep breath.

“Listen it’s late now, we’ll talk about it tomorrow.”

“When, Fred? When? In the morning, when you are asleep or at night when you come so late?”

Fred remained silent.

“It hurts, Fred. It hurts. It’s like I am alone. People ask me how are we doing and I don’t know how to answer that because I really have no idea what’s going on with you. I have no clue where is our relationship go-“

“You know, what?” Fred shouted staring at you. “If you are so alone, maybe you won’t mind if we actually separate.”

You gasped.

“I’m going to give you a moment to take that back and tell me you didn’t mean it.” You whispered. Fred crossed his arms.

“Listen you know my work is important to me more than anything else. I want to be rich enough for no one to dare insult me or my family. That shop. Is my life. It is the reason Malfoy doesn’t have the guts to spit at my family anymore.”

“So the shop’s more important to you than having I stay?” You dug your nails into your palms, to stop the threatening tears to spill. Not, now. Not when he disregarded your own job, he knew you were passionate about. Not when riches and his status in life was seemingly much more important.

Fred didn’t say anything and you felt your head zoom. You didn’t know what to do, but staying there any longer would kill you. You went to your room and grabbed your coat and some money. Fred stared at you, as you stood at the door.

“What are you doing? Where are you going?” Fred demanded.

“Well, since your business is so much important than having me stay then I guess its better I leave.”

“I hope you become the wealthiest wizard in the country.” You said before apparating to your best friend’s house.

You knocked on Ruuhaan’s door thinking what you’ll say. He opened up in sleepy haze.

“(Y/n)?”

“Can I stay here tonight? I’ll crash on the couch.” You said and he pulled you in.

“Of course you could stay. You know you’re always welcome here. What happened?” he said and you finally let the tears fall.

“I… Fred broke up with me.” You felt blood rush to your brain and your knees felt weak. Saying it out loud made it feel all so real. You fell, losing your balance; but Ruuhaan was beside you in a second holding you.

***

Fred fell on the floor with a thump. What had he done? Why did he snap at her when he knew his anger was directed at something else? He had been trying to get the latest product to work for quite some time. George had given up long ago and said it was dangerous to work on, so Fred stayed back after they closed the shop; working on it secretly. He didn’t know it had such a bad effect on you. The concoction today had failed miserably and Fred was frustrated. He didn’t think you would take it so seriously.

For the next few days, Fred worked like a robot. He told George vaguely what happened and that he didn’t want to talk about it. Because if he talked about it, he knew he would break. He missed you. He missed you so damn much. He visited your office but they told him that you were on a leave; Ruuhaan refused to let him inside, telling him you weren’t there. He missed your smile as you sleepily kissed his forehead in the morning; he missed your little notes which told him to take care. He missed you curling into him when he came to bed at night. His apartment felt devoid of spirit; dark and cold. He understood that it was you, you that kept the light ablaze. He wanted you. Needed you. He loved you. Always did. Why did he fail to show it to you?

Fred’s mother visited them one evening.

“Where’s (Y/n)?” she asked looking around.

“We broke up.” Fred said quietly.

“What, why?” she asked coming towards him.

“She asked me what was more important, my shop or her and I couldn’t answer it so she just left.” Fred sniffed as tears prickled his eyes. Molly wrapped an arm around him, making him sit down.

“Why would you stay silent if even for a moment?” Molly asked quietly.

“I don’t know. It’s important. To earn money.”

“Son, you know all my life, I never chased after the riches. And you know why?” Fred looked at his mother.

“Because money doesn’t make you happy. People do. Family does. You can’t chase after money forever you know.” Molly said making him cry finally.

“I love her and I miss her so so much!” he said as he sobbed into her arms.

***

You came back to your and Fred’s apartment to take your stuff. After hours of crying and moping around, Ruuhaan suggested it was time to move on. But how could you? You loved him. How do you just un-love someone? Seeing your- Fred’s apartment again, brought back memories, happy ones. No, he didn’t value you. You took a deep breath, knocking on the door. It felt odd, doing that. Fred opened the door, gasping on seeing you. You averted your eyes.

“I am here for my stuff.” You said coldly. Fred opened and closed his mouth before pulling the door wide open. Your heart leapt out of your chest as you moved towards the closet, your closet. As you took out your clothes, your ears burned. You felt Fred’s gaze on your every move.

“(Y/n), please don’t do this. Please don’t leave me.” You turned to see Fred in tears. He came forward and held your hands.

“Fred…” you whispered.

“I know I make mistakes, I know I am stupid, but I know you’re not. I know you’ve had enough, but I didn’t. I didn’t believe a word of whatever rubbish I uttered that night. I promise to come back at 6, latest by 7. I promise to be there for you. I won’t try, I would be here. I would have George on my ass if I don’t.” Fred croaked, taking a deep breath.

“I’m sorry to disregard your job, I’m sorry for so many things I’ve done. With you along, I’ll be happy living in a cave. Eating stale bread, wearing torn clothes. I want you, need you at every step of my life. Please (Y/n), please don’t leave me. Punish me all you want but don’t say good bye.”

It was all too much. You moved forward crushing your lips into his. He held you tight kissing you passionately. It was as if all the emotions from last night poured in and you felt yourself getting lighter. Fred was there. He held you and you knew he would keep his promises.

“I’m sorry.” He sniffed, pulling back.

“Its okay.”

A/N: Let me know what you think!

[woozapooza]

*guy on the tumblr masthead voice* long post ahoy

I was thinking about the post I reblogged recently about how Queequeg is always saving people’s lives, including—not once but twice—Ishmael’s, and it occurred to me that Queequeg’s life-saving abilities aren’t limited to other people. He supposedly saves his own life in “Queequeg in His Coffin”:

But now that he had apparently made every preparation for death; now that his coffin was proved a good fit, Queequeg suddenly rallied; soon there seemed no need of the carpenter’s box: and thereupon, when some expressed their delighted surprise, he, in substance, said, that the cause of his sudden convalescence was this;—at a critical moment, he had just recalled a little duty ashore, which he was leaving undone; and therefore had changed his mind about dying: he could not die yet, he averred. They asked him, then, whether to live or die was a matter of his own sovereign will and pleasure. He answered, certainly. In a word, it was Queequeg’s conceit, that if a man made up his mind to live, mere sickness could not kill him: nothing but a whale, or a gale, or some violent, ungovernable, unintelligent destroyer of that sort.   

It’s a weird event, and the narration acknowledges how weird it is. It would be reckless to assume that Queequeg is being 100% serious in attributing his recovery to pure willpower, let alone to assume that he literally did will himself back to life. But if we don’t want to drown in the impossible question of “what [in this fictional story] is the ‘truth’?” then I think it is reasonable to assume that 1. Queequeg thinks there is some truth in what he’s saying, and 2. he’s right to some extent. I’m sure there are readers who would disagree, but I just think this whole passage is pointless if we refuse to take Queequeg at his word in the slightest. (Also, I’ve just never been the sort of reader who can constantly be like “is THIS real? is THAT real? how can we really Know anything? how can we really trust this character or that character or the author or ourselves?” I’m not into that.) Again, I’m not saying Queequeg actually controls his own health through willpower alone, just that I believe that his desire to keep living plays a role in his ability to rally. Specifically—and tantalizingly—he claims that there is “a little duty ashore” that he needs to attend to. (Again, you COULD argue that we shouldn’t take that claim seriously, but I’m not going to do that because that approach to fiction seems silly and pointless to me.) Contrast this with Ishmael: after his name (or maybe that should be “name”), the first thing we ever learn about him is that he habitually goes to sea specifically for the purpose of “driving off the spleen and regulating the circulation,” which, we soon learn, is basically a euphemistic way of saying “preventing his own suicide.” Both of them take action to keep themselves alive, but in precisely opposite ways: Ishmael, by escaping to the sea; Queequeg, by remembering the land. There are a lot of differences between Ishmael and Queequeg that are just the neutral result of them being two different people with different backgrounds, but this isn’t one of them. I totally get where Ishmael is coming from when he says “If they but knew it, almost all men in their degree, some time or other, cherish very nearly the same feelings towards the ocean with me,” but the fact of the matter is that humans are land animals and it is very much not healthy or normal to need to escape human civilization, repeatedly, sometimes for years on end, just to keep yourself alive (😢). Ishmael has that problem. Queequeg doesn’t.

Thinking about this difference—how the sea is Ishmael’s last defense against death, and land, or rather society, which is on land, is Queequeg’s—led me to think back on Queequeg’s history as related by Ishmael in “Biographical.” He, like Ishmael, leaves home alone to see the world, but for him, it was an active desire, not a coping mechanism. Furthermore, I could be wrong, but I don’t ever recall Ishmael expressing a desire to see or accomplish something specific. In “Loomings,” he expresses a desire simply to “see the watery part of the world,” and in “The Ship,” he tells Peleg, “I want to see what whaling is. I want to see the world.” I believe him, but that’s a very vague goal. It’s the goal of someone who doesn’t have a lot of direction in their life, a goal, in Ishmael’s case, born of desperation. Contrast this with Queequeg: he experienced “a wild desire to visit Christendom” and “to learn among the Christians, the arts whereby to make his people still happier than they were.” Not only is that a specific goal, the goal of someone with a sense of purpose and of self, it’s a goal that will enrich not only himself but his community. Queequeg wanted to see the world, but with the ultimate goal of coming home. The only reason he hasn’t done so yet (which I guess makes it the only reason he met Ishmael in the first place) is because “he was fearful Christianity, or rather Christians, had unfitted him for ascending the pure and undefiled throne of thirty pagan Kings before him.” Not only is he a lot more stable than Ishmael, he’s also part of a community that he cares deeply about and wants to improve. He isn’t just running away all the time. “Queequeg in His Coffin” ties Queequeg’s persistent will to live with his will to be part of society. Ishmael has neither of those things, at least not consistently, but for a while, he at least has Queequeg to ground him the way the on-land world (on-shore world? you know what I mean) grounds Queequeg.

Those last few sentences sound harsh, but I swear I’m NOT trying to criticize Ishmael; he is the love of my life and we do not know what has happened in his past that has led him to this point but we can assume it’s something and that he’s not just being edgy for the sake of being edgy. My point is just to show how he and Queequeg contrast with each other and how Queequeg is exactly what Ishmael needs and also just a really cool and admirable guy in his own right. While working on this post I actually hit upon another really interesting aspect to their relationship, but I’ll make a separate post about that. 

ALSO!!! While working on this post, I realized that Ishmael and Queequeg have even more in common with a certain other ship of mine than I previously realized. But I’m gonna hold off on specifying who that other ship is, since I have a tiny, silly lil thing in the works that will establish that parallel :)

[ilooklikeaburntchickenugget]

Only Mine Pt. 3

A/N: I know this is a part 3, so it’s on the verge of a mini series, but I got this idea and thought it would be cool so we’re going with it. aLsO I know Instagram and most social media and modern iPhones were not around during the Black Parade era of 2007. But let’s all just pretend like they were for the sake of this fic. Also, if you have ever been to a Taylor Swift concert, I’m pretty sure you’ll understand that the entire things is based off of one, specifically 1989 (my favorite era if we’re being honest). Pairing: Gerard Way x F!Reader Words: 3,270 Warnings: Mentions of sex, a bit of swearing.

You could feel the corset back of your bodysuit be tightened and tied once again, after dozens of times. This was not your first rodeo.

Playing in front of over 150,000 people may have seemed impossible even a year ago. But the huge demand of fans and observers to see your tour led your record label to agree to send you on a solo stadium tour, something you had never done before.

“On in 5.” One of the stage crew walked back into your suite behind the stage to tell you. You nodded, looking over to your best friend, Y/B/F/N.

“You ready for another one?” You rolled your eyes and lightly laughed.

“I don’t think I was ever ready to go on a tour and play in front of this many people.” You admitted, getting up, “But I need to be.” She tightly smiled at you.

“Hey, you’re absolutely incredible at this. Like genuinely, fucking great.” She smiled. You had begged her months ago to go on tour with you as a companion. Ideally, your husband would have been the one to go with you, but he was touring at the exact same time. So obviously, that wouldn’t have worked out.

“Thanks.” You gave her a tight hug, her doing the same back, as the two of you walked out and into the main area behind the stage.

Going on tour had been exciting and fun in every way, but draining for so many reasons. You hadn’t seen Gerard in over six months until the night prior when he willingly flew in during a one week break MCR had from touring, so he could visit you. And, well, be a surprise guest for the show in New Jersey. Because who else would you have invited?

You had even put a sneak peek on your Instagram story earlier that morning, being up on your ginormous stage with a runway spanning over 70 feet and curving around so you could see everyone who was there. The free light-up bracelets everyone got helped too (if you’ve ever been to or seen a Taylor Swift concert, you know what I mean).

“Hey guys,” You smiled while recording yourself in one of your tour hoodies, during rehearsal on stage, “I’m super super excited because tonight, at MetLife Stadium in New Jersey, we have a very special guest. They’re literally one of my favorite people ever, if not my favorite person, and they’re so extremely talented. They’re so important to me, and I consider myself maybe their number one fan.” You lightly laughed before turning it off and posting it to your story.

“Already dropping hints, huh?” You heard Gerard walk the stage from behind you. You rolled your eyes.

“Of course I did Gee.” You smiled, “I’m just too excited!” He smiled back.

“How do you do this every night, by the way?” He asked, arms crossed with a water bottle in one of his hands. His hair was a mess, as per usual, and he had a jean jacket on.

“I don’t know,” You shrugged, “You just kinda get used to it.”

“It’s just so incredible,” He sighed, “I mean, genuinely, I don’t know how you do it.” You nudged him playfully.

“Oh please, Gee, you’re an absolute beast while you’re performing.”

“Makes sense, you’re the beauty.” You nudged him again, this time a little harder.

“You’re so cheesy sometimes.”

You walked out below the stage to where an elevator would lift you up onto it. Your nerves will still co-exist with your mind, as you took a single deep breath to calm you down. You and all your backup singers, dancers, and the band all put yourself in a circle, with your hands in the middle. “Ready guys?” You asked and everyone hummed and nodded with smiles, “I don’t know why but I feel like tonight's just going to be awesome.” You smiled. “3, 2, 1... Midnight!” Everyone shouted, cheering, and breaking away. The entire crew dispersed to their own areas where they would go out on stage as you prepared to be lifted up.

You weren’t sure whether it was the crowd or the fact your lover was there. Of course, Gerard has seen the show before. He was at the first one in a reserved section of the floor that was completely isolated from everyone with a minibar even where family and friends sat. And celebrities were invited. That entire show was basically you serenading him in front of almost 100,000 people by stealing glances during songs (all of which were about him) and motioning your hands and such towards that area. And you knew he noticed by the way his smile grew even wider than before whenever you did. And tonight would of course be no different.

“So what should I do?” He asked, standing next to you during rehearsal as you two began to plot and plan what would happen.

“Just be you.” You said.

“Babe,” He began, “I love you, like a lot, but I don’t know if me doing my usual thing is best.”

“Why not?” You pouted with a frown, “You’re fucking amazing on stage!” You argued.

“Because I tend to go a little wild, ya know, stage Gerard is different than normal Gerard-”

“Yes, I know, and that’s fine.” You insisted, “But, and trust me when I say this, stage Gerard tends to be more entertaining for a large crowd than normal Gerard. No offense.”

“No, you’re right,” He agreed, “But, ya know, we can get destructive sometimes.”

“Well you don’t get really destructive when you’re by yourself,” You said right back, “If Frank were here, that would be a different discussion.” He lightly chuckled, almost under his breath.

“You sure?” He asked again, “I mean, you’re a pop princess, and I’m a rock dude who kinda does random stupid shit like a 14-year-old with no understanding of what consequences are.”

“And love,” You told him, grabbing one of his hands, “That’s exactly what I want you to fucking do.”

The first part of the show went exactly as planned, everything went smoothly, and the crowd was incredible, to say the least. It seemed like everyone knew all the lyrics which made your heart flutter, and your glances and gestures towards Gerard always resulted in a little smirk or smile from it. You could’ve sworn you could see his blush through the nearly blinding stage lights.

It was time for another outfit change, this time Gerard would be backstage preparing for his section on stage, considering you had another song, then he would come on, then a few more before the finale. You crawled through some of the spaces in the back, running to the makeshift changing room. You saw him right outside, doing some vocal warm ups, but the moment he heard you he looked up and smiled, you return the gesture. “You’re doing incredible.” He told you, approaching you. You leaned in and gave him a peck on the lips.

“Thanks, babe.” You smiled, “I wish we could talk more but I gotta, ya know-” You motioned to the black box of a changing room behind you.

“Yeah, right, of course.” You ran in, stripping off your first bodysuit, with a second layer of spandex under it, with a group of three on your team getting you into your second bodysuit, this one a dark purple instead of light blue, and changing some minor aspects of your makeup like eye shadow color and lip color.

Running back out, you couldn’t help but notice Gerard’s stares of awe and confusion. “H-how’d you do that?” He asked, dumbfounded. You couldn’t help but laugh considering he had been in this business a few years longer than you.

“Magic!” You yelled back at him while running back to the stage door.

You crouched down again on the platform as it lifted you up, the music begging to play. You only had Cruel Summer, a relatively shorter song to play, before you could finally announce one of the most exciting things of all tour.

Once you finished the song you had to wait a few seconds, just standing there and smiling waiting for the crowd to settle down. “So guys,” You began, walking around the stage for a bit, “I don’t know how many of you may have seen this, but I posted something on my Instagram story today,” You smiled even more as the crowd cheered once again, “And I have a special guest for all of you to meet. He’s honestly the most incredible, genuine human being alive. I feel very lucky to be able to have in my life, and I don’t know what I would do without him. And I thought because we’re in New Jersey,” You shrugged, “There wouldn’t be anyone better to bring here tonight, so please, help me welcome Mr. Gerard Way!”

You could’ve sworn that you had heard the loudest crowds ever, but were you wrong. The moment you mentioned “Gerard” it was as if you were giving away free money, you were sure every person in that stadium was screaming to their fullest potential, it was almost deafening.

From the backstage lift your husband appeared, in his usual black jeans and leather jacket. Even better, one of your tour shirts on. You smiled at him as he smiled right back walking down the stage to where you were, the intro to Teenagers was already playing, everyone's light up bands turning red so the entire stadium was the color.

Gerard began singing as the crowd sang along. You could’ve sworn they were just as loud as you two were. What made it all the better was the level of cheers when he did his typical hip moves and bounced his leg to the beat. You could see a small smile form on his face, breaking his usual stage persona by the crowd’s reaction.

“Because, they sleep with a gun, and keep an eye on you, son, so they can watch all the things you do.” You sang next as he stopped to let you shine a bit before continuing the song on his own until the chorus where the two of you sang together.

You had to admit, you missed rock performances primarily because you could do whatever you wanted for no reason and people loved it. So naturally, both you and Gerard were jumping around and practically yelling, but the crowd seemed to love it.

Both of you stage personas took over which resulted in more PDA than usual, including a lot of close duets where you two were within an inch of one another, making deep eye contact while singing. The fans ate it up, yelling every time you two got within a reasonable vicinity of the other. Everyone seemed fascinated by the chemistry you two had, but you weren’t complaining.

By the end of the song, you two were standing next to each other at the end of the runway, smiling as the crowd roared like never before. You both looked out happier than ever, then back at each other where you smiled once again. While the crowd was still going crazy. “Can we give it up one for time for Gerard?” You asked, and even more, cheers erupted. You had never heard a crowd go this nuts before. Gerard smiled, even more, leaning in and giving you a quick kiss on the lips.

“Thank you, everyone!” He smiled, “And I have to give an even bigger thank you, to my wonderful, beautiful, talented wife beside me.” More people cheered, “She genuinely one of the kindest, and considerate people I’ve ever met. I feel incredibly blessed every day to have her be my wife, and she amazes me with everything she does.” He smiled, “So why don’t we give a quick round of applause to her too?” He turned to you and more of the crowd screamed and clapped in response. You scrunched your nose, smiling at him in an attempt to hide the growing blush on your cheeks. The two of you walked back up the runway and to the back, down the elevator together, Gerard giving a final wave.

One you two were out of sight, you looked up and just hugged him, squeezing him as tight as you could, him doing the same back. “You’re so perfect it hurts.” You told him, as he looked down at you smiling, his hand still on your waist.

“Can I be honest?” You nodded, “That was one of the hottest things I have ever seen.” You nudged him lightly, in a playful manner rolling your eyes. “What? I can’t say anything about my wife singing my song? Damn your hips were moving so right and-”

“Okay, c’mon lover boy, I’ve got a show I gotta get back to.” You reminded him, pulling away so you could get changed again. You could hear a light whine he let out in protest as you walked to your dressing room again, but you chose to ignore it.

You changed only two more times before the show was over. After the finale, you, the dancers, backup singers, and band all taking bows, you waved once more going back down to under the stage where you took off all your equipment and sighed in relief. Another successful show completed.

The adrenaline was still pumping through your brain as your boots clicked in the hallways of the empty backstage arena, into your dressing room. You first removed your makeup, redoing it to look more natural, and changing from the sequence dress you wore during the last song into a pair of jeans and a solid-colored sweatshirt.

While you were putting on one of your pairs of sneakers you heard a knock on the door. “Come in.” You responded. Opening the door, Gerard appeared on the other side, smiling and closing it behind him. “Hey.” You smiled back.

“Hey, babe.” He said, leaning on the wall beside the door. “You did incredibly amazing.” You lightly laughed.

“Thanks.” You got up from where you were sitting on the couch, walking over to him and placing your arms loosely over his arms and behind his neck. “I couldn’t have done it without my special guest.”

“Well, yeah, you probably could have-” You placed your lips on his, immediately making him go quiet.

“Just shut up and take the compliment, Way.”

“Only if you insist, Way.”

“I gotta go meet some fans.” You pulled away, grabbing your water bottle and taking a sip. “You coming with?” He gave you a confused look. “Oh, c’mon,” You grabbed his hand, “They’re gonna freak.”

You never did paid meet and greets. Instead, you had hand-selected some of the fans to meet you after the show for free or had some people in your team go and find some lucky fans who you would meet. But tonight they would get a two for one with both you and Gerard. “Stay right here.” You whispered to him when you got to the meet and greet area, you two hiding behind a curtain. He nodded.

You walked through the black felt, as all dozen of the fans looked up to you wide-eyed, one of them even screaming. “Hey, guys!” You said, which resulted in all of them screaming, and one of them began to cry. “Oh my gosh.” You looked at her. She couldn’t have been much older than 16. But when she looked up, you immediately knew who she was. “Hi, Rachel.” You said. At that, she began sobbing more. “Can I give you a hug?” You asked, trying to calm her down. She nodded frantically as you wrapped your arms around her, and she hung onto you for dear life. “Don’t cry!” You insisted.

After talking to each of them individually for a few minutes it was finally time for a photo op. “By the way guys,” You said, “I have one more surprise.” You smiled, going back to the curtain that you emerged from previously. You looked at Gerard, who got the cue to come out. Of course, the fans gasped again as they saw him standing there now next to you. “This is my husband, Gerard, he was the guy on stage with me. And he’s the lead singer of this really awesome band called My Chemical Romance.”

“Uh, yeah, duh.” One of the girls, Lyla, said and you all laughed.

One by one you took photos with the fans and the people they came with, some of them doing poses and such which both you and Gerard were down to do. You also handed out free merch bags, which had some collectible items that were exclusive to only the fans who had been invited backstage.

You said goodbye to all of them, leaving you, Gerard, and some of the team plus security behind. The two of you walked back to your large dressing room, grabbing your personal belongings, and going out back where a car was to pick you up and bring you back to the hotel.

In the backseat of the solid black car, you couldn’t help but lay your head on Gerard’s shoulder, having not done so in months. Everything from his scent to the feel of his various jackets on your cheeks always put your mind to ease. You could feel his hand on your thigh, giving it a tight squeeze of reassurance that he was there.

The car ride was silent. Not an awkward silence, but more of an enjoyable one. Just the presence of one another was enough to occupy your minds from any conversation.

Once you had reached the hotel, you two walked in hand and hand with security around you and up to your room. Inside the suite, you couldn’t help but take off your shoes and immediately sit down on the bed. “I’m really tired.” You admitted, “I’m sorry.” You looked up at your husband who couldn’t help but have an extremely confused look on his face.

“Why’re you apologizing?”

“Just because we would usually, well ya know, have sex which I’m pretty sure was on both of our agendas today.”

“Babe, you just performed a sold-out show in front of over 150,000 people. The last thing I want you to do is to worry about sex.”

“Okay,” You huffed, “I’m going to take a shower.” You got up giving him a quick kiss.

“I’ll be waiting for you, love.” He smiled. You got into the bathroom, closing the door, and stripping yourself of your current clothes. You took a quick and speedy shower. Considering your current state of being tired, you knew if you didn’t get in and out of there you would have just fallen asleep.

You changed into a pair of sweatpants and an old t-shirt, walking back out to find Gerard, comfortably suited on his side of the bed in his pajamas, reading a book. You went over, climbing next to you, prompting him to put the novel down. “You can continue to read with one of the lights.” You told him, feeling partially guilty.

“No need,” He said, “As cheesy as this is going to sound, I’ve been thinking about cuddling with you for months now.” He slumped down so he was parallel with the bed. You lightly smiled, moving closer. He wrapped his hands around your waist and onto your back, letting your place your face in the crook of his neck. “I’m so incredibly proud of you.”

“Thanks, Gee.” You responded, “I would’ve never gotten here if it wasn’t for my wonderful muse.”

[carriagelamp]

Book Review - Summer Summary 2020

I didn’t get around to doing an individual post for the books I read in June/July/August, so I decided to choose a dozen that I read over the summer... I’d separate the wheat from the chaff for you so to speak. Though like you’re about to find out, that doesn’t necessarily mean they were all good by any means...

Crave

My girlfriend got this for me to “tide me over until Midnight Sun”. Between you and me, I think she was taking the piss. Anyway, Crave is very... standard fare paranormal YA school romance with the added flare of being written by an adult erotica writer, meaning the rhythm and tone of this novel is fucking bonkers. If you want to read the novel without reading the novel, just take Twilight and the entire Vampire Academy series, shove them in a blend, and force down the sludge you get from that. Normal Average Girl Goes To Secret School In Alaska For Vampire, Werewolves and Dragons. That’s this book. It is so big and so so so bad. I finished it out of spite, please don’t do that to yourself. Unless you are really craving (hurr hurr) some top tier trashy paranormal romance, in which case... no judgment.

The Last Firehawk

The Last Firehawk is a Scholastic “Branches” series, written for beginning readers (grade 1-3ish, depending on the child’s reading level). It has short stories, big text, and awesome pictures on every page. Guys. I unironically am adoring this series. It’s simple and is introducing children to a number of classic elements in the fantasy quest genre, but it is so charming. Friends Tag and Skyla discover a firehawk egg, and species that is supposed to have disappeared long ago. When Blaze hatches from it, the three are tasked with going out and finding the magical ember stone which was hidden long ago by the firehawks and which could be used to defeat the evil vulture Thorn and his dark magic... I read the first two books to second graders who ate it up and read the next four books because I personally wanted to continue the series. If you have young readers in your life (or just want a fun kid adventure) then please try these they’re the literary equivalent of nibbling on a chocolate chip cookie.

Lupin III: World’s Most Wanted #3

All the kind people that still follow my tumblr and haven’t tried to murder me because of my Lupin obsession are not going to be surprised by this one. I finally read one of the manga for this series and honestly I’m delighted. Somehow even hornier than the show, but hilariously funny. I felt like I was reading a more adult version of Spy Vs Spy. It’s a bunch of short, individual bits/adventures with lots of visual gags and an artstyle that is really different and delightful.

River of Teeth / Taste of Marrow (American Hippo series)

I’ve talked about River of Teeth before, but I finally finished the American Hippo duology and need to sing its praise. This is an alternate history series composed of two novellas that explore the question What would have happened if the States had decided to import hippos as livestock...? Anyways, my pitch for you: queer hippo cowboys. That’s all it took for me to read it. You have a gay gunslinger who loves his hippo to death, a nonbinary explosives-expert / poisoner who is the main love interest, a fat con artist who spoils her hippo and is the only voice of reason in this entire series, and a latina mother-to-be who is the scariest assassin in the entire series and is obviously scheming. The four of them are brought together on a job to deal with the Mississippi’s feral hippo problem.

IT’S A QUEER HIPPO COWBOY HEIST NOVEL GUYS I DON’T KNOW WHY I’M STILL TALKING AND YOU HAVEN’T JUST GONE TO READ THIS YET.

Petals to the Metal (The Adventure Zone series)

The graphic novel adaptation to the McElroy family’s DND podcast The Adventure Zone. Most of you are probably aware of this? It’s a great adaptation, it hits all the important beats, shows off the characters really well, and still gets lots of good gags in even while condensing entire arcs into single book stories. This one is probably my favourite so far just because Petals to the Metal was one of my favourite arcs in the show... but you can also see how the art has improved and the chaos of the race is fun to see drawn out.

If you like The Adventure Zone but haven’t tried the graphic novels yet -- would recommend! If you’ve always wanted to listen to The Adventure Zone but don’t have time for such a long series or struggle to focus on podcasts then pick up the first book of this series (Here There Be Gerblins) and try reading it! It really is an enjoyable adaptation.

Pony to the Rescue (Pony Pals series)

I continued my April/May theme of reading old-school chapter book series to combat Covid Brain Fry, so I picked up a few Pony Pals books. I read these as a kid and always enjoy them -- there’s just something so appealing to a child about having a horse. It gives your child characters a level of independence and ability to explore that you wouldn’t get otherwise. These books definitely read young, but they were nostalgic to revisit.

Small Spaces

A really cool middle grade horror novel I picked up. Maybe it’s because I live around a lot of corn fields, but farm/scarecrow themed horror absolutely does it for me. One evening, after seeing a woman try to destroy a strange, old book, eleven year old Ollie doesn’t stop to think, instead stealing the book and running. That’s how she becomes wrapped up in the strange, sinister story of a cursed family and creature called the Smiling Man that seems to live out in the foggy fields. While unsettling, Ollie tries to remind herself that it’s just a story... but this becomes more challenging when her school bus breaks down one day out their own set of fields, and a fog is rolling in...

“Avoid large spaces. Stick to small.”

Snot Girl #1 - #2

A Canadian graphic novel series by the creator of the Scott Pilgrim series! I love his work so I decided to give Snotgirl a try, even though it’s not generally my genre. I’m glad I did! First book took a while for me to get into, but by the time I hit the second I was really wrapped up in the mystery and character development. Snotgirl is about Lottie, a self-consumed fashion blogger whose biggest struggles are dealing with her allergies, frustration with her fellow-blogger friends, and how entirely her self-esteem is tied to her “beauty” and how people view her. But everything shifts in strange and horrifying ways when Lottie starts taking a new allergy medication, meets a new friend... and then witnesses that girl’s death. Or does she?

Seriously, or does she? I have no idea, I need to read the third book. This book is full of intrigue, complicated relationships, murder (or not?), and a healthy dose of magical realism to keep you guessing. If you like slice-of-life, crime, and abstract reality then this series is world a try. Plus the art is gorgeous.

Summer Wars #1 - #2

I recently rewatched Summer Wars (still one of my favourite movies) and decided to read the two-book manga adaptation. It was a really neat little adaptation. The creator of the movie gave the writer free range to tweak things to fit better in a manga format, which means some movie elements were allowed to fade into the background, whereas other aspects were fulled into the forefront and fleshed out to a greater degree. It was very cool, it kept the same story but gave you new things to think about which I wasn’t expecting. Reading this as a stand alone works just fine, but honestly if you’ve never watched the movie Summer Wars you should give it a try! It’s a great mix of slice-of-life, sprawling family dynamics that I relate to a little too well, cyber adventures, and fantasy. Super feel good.

This One Summer

Okay, last graphic novel, I swear. This One Summer was... weird and intense. It’s a coming-of-age Canadian graphic novel that follows a pair of pre-teens who meet up like they do every year at their family’s summer cottages. You see them both in the awkward phases between childhood and growing up to become teenagers, as they’re confronted with things like maturity, friendship, self-esteem, family problems, and sexuality. A beautiful read, but probably the heaviest out of all the books on my list.

Wild Thornberrys Novelization

I rewatched The Wild Thornberrys movie with my girlfriend earlier this year, and decided I wanted to hunt down the chapter book novelization because I’m kind of a sucker for novelizations. Honestly, this was about what you would expect from the era. 90s/00s novelizations, especially young novelizations, are generally just a transcript of the movie without much thought or effort put into them to make them anything but. That’s what this was. It was fine, and it really let me revisualize the entire movie, but honestly you’re probably better off just rewatching the movie unless you also really deeply love The Wild Thornberrys.

The Willoughbys

I saw that Netflix had done a funky looking adaptation of The Willoughbys and I decided I needed to read the book first before watching the movie. This was a little bizarre, I’m still not sure how I feel about it. Over all, I think it was a net-positive experience. It’s an obvious satire on classic children’s novels, especially the likes of Mary Poppins (real Mary Poppins, not the Disney version) and while a little heavy-handed, it does a Series of Unfortunate Events vibe that redeems it. The story is about a group of horrible children (The Ruthless Willoughbys) who decide they are sick of their parents and would rather become Worth Orphans... and to do that, they’re going to have to dispose of their inconvenient parents, obviously. Conveniently their parents are also sick of having children and decide to do away with them as well. The Willoughbys sets up three (or four?) different subplots that are gradually woven together through a series of schemes and exploits. It’s definitely more ruthless (hurr hurr) than the Netflix version, which tried to make the children more sympathetic, and in some ways I think that’s a definite point in the novel’s favour. I’m not sure I would go out of my way to recommend it, but it was a fun romp if you want something short and off the wall (and a lot more fleshed out than the Netflix version).

[saundraswriting]

Deprived Chapter 2: Fateful Day

SUMMARY: How is Yeon-Woo dealing with the increasing closeness of his probe when he has been taught to push them away? Yoo-Han pushes closer, concern for his mono making his disregard boundaries NOTES: This chapter is where the AU aspect begins. Yeon-Woo and Yoo-Han go on a date. WARNINGS: implications of self-harm, self-doubt, dom/sub undertones and praise kink

You can read it on Ao3.

Previous // Next

Deprived Masterlist // My Ao3 // My Masterlist

The day of the art show came, and with it was a missing Yoo-Han and a sullen Yeon-Woo. The former had an early meeting with his agency, or so he told everyone. He was really getting all the details of his afternoon date set up. He made sure that a delivery of groceries was scheduled for later in the evening so he could cook for Yeon-Woo once they got back to his place. Yoo-Han had a very detailed and lengthy plan to coddle and pamper the person who was quickly becoming the most important thing to him.

Yeon-Woo shuffled through the first half of school with a cloud over his head. He had been so happy the last few days, learning colors with Yoo-Han but even spending time with him and Min-Jae and Joo-Haeng. He was learning how to be a happy normal teenager. He was pleased that after year of failing to find a place to make his own, he found it on accident. 'I have to remember to thank Yoo-Han. He was the one who helped me see that I can be happy, that I deserve to be happy.'Yeon-Woo thought. The idea of his probe/possible boyfriend made him smile. Yeon-Woo had been worried that he said something the day before that made Yoo-Han upset, he had pulled away and he knew how that hurt him every time. He just was so surprised by his own thoughts, they scared him. He wasn't supposed to feel happiness when it came to his probe. He was supposed to feel nothing. He tried to shake his melancholy by the time lunch rolls around knowing that Joo-Haeng has probably reported his mood to Yoo-Han. The three of them seem to be his personal musketeers, differing to Yoo-Han when it came to making a decision. To avoid the questions about his mood and lack of appetite, Yeon-Woo treks outside to the small flower garden the school maintained.

Yeon-Woo.

My Yeon-Woo

My Yeon-Woo, who is the softest.

Are you there?

The texts come in one after the other giving him no time to respond. Yeon-Woo waits a moment but when no more come he answers. I am. It's lunch. How did you meeting go?

Well. I heard you're in need of some cheering up.

You heard wrong. I am doing fine.

You only say you are fine when you are not. You think it will discourage me from asking. All it does is make me pay more attention. My Yeon-Woo. I said we'll be together forever. Remember?

Yeon-Woo remembered. He remembered crying softly into a shoulder that was there because it wanted to be, not out of obligation to be there. He remembered the bright smile, visible even with the mask. He remembered the tremble in Yoo-Han's voice, full of happiness and warmth and affection. Yeon-Woo is struck with the powerful urge to see Yoo-Han, to feel him under his fingers, to hear him murmur softly in his ear. I remember. I want to see you. Yeon-Woo texted back. He was forgetting more frequently why he should be less eager to see and feel and hear his probe.

My lovely Yeon-Woo. When you say things like that, it makes me the happiest person in the world. What if I told you that you could see me? I have a date planned for us. I will be picking you up right after school. So don't be late.

Yeon-Woo spluttered at his phone for a few seconds before texting back a jumble of words that he hoped came across as agreeing. After a few more minutes, any texts he sent with questions about the date were read but ignored. Any texts that he sent not about the date were promptly answered, which Yeon-Woo took correctly as a sign to stop asking about the date. He went back to class after talking to Yoo-Han a bit longer, steps much lighter and the cloud over his head gone.

Joo-Haeng sent Yoo-Han a quick text to let him know about the mood shift and could feel the pride and smugness through the phone.

Yeon-Woo was out the door the second the chimes began, he had somewhere to be after all. Min-Jae agreed to handle his clean-up for the day-citing the grandfather told him to be prepared for this-with a wave of his hand. Joo-Haeng told him to leave his bag, he would take it home and bring it back. Yeon-Woo was met at the gates be the familiar silhouette of Yoo-Han. Yeon-Woo hurried even faster, coming to a stop right in front of him. Yeon-Woo reached out and hesitated, wanting to touch but unsure of how to initiate affection. Yoo-Han smiled before pulling his hand to his cheek and nuzzling, pressing a mask covered kiss to his palm.

"Hello, my darling. Are you ready? I have a big day planned." Yoo-Han said. He laced his fingers with Yeon-Woo's before walking down the street.

"I am a little nervous. I have never been on a date." Yeon-Woo confessed to the sidewalk. Yoo-Han almost stopped, the shot of possessiveness and pride making him ditch the whole idea and take him straight home. He shook those thoughts out of hiss head.

"I am thrilled that I get to be the first and only then. I have everything planned out for us. I have everything covered too. First we are going to an exhibition. I plan on taking my mask of for it though, once we are inside. That is all I am telling you know though." Yoo-Han said. He squeezed Yeon-Woo's hand tightly before the made their way to the art show.

Once they got close, Yoo-Han took of his mask. A testament to how long they had been working on Yeon-Woo's color rushes meant he didn't pass out. They arrived and Yeon-Woo could feel the excitement bubbling. Yoo-Han held out two tickets, while Yeon Woo snapped a few pictures. They were both given stubs to keep. Yeon-Woo decided that minute he was keeping it forever. He was going to start a scrapbook full of his memories with Yoo-Han to keep forever, for when he was ripped from this happiness.

The two boys without a care in the world took their time going through the different rooms. They took videos and pictures, trying to immortalize the moment. Yeon-Woo lingered constantly, trying to etch the colors in his mind. Trying not to think about when he was alone once more, all the evidence of the day would be as monochromatic as everything else, for without Yoo-Han there was no color, nor a reason to see it. Yeon-Woo pushed aside those thoughts again, thriving in the moment, surrounded by vibrant colors, given to him by Yoo-Han, given only to see him smile. In one room, Yoo-Han pulled their laced hands to his mouth pressing a kiss to Yeon-Woo's knuckles. The affection in Yoo-Han's gaze was enough to make his heart skip a beat. I would do anything to make sure he always looks at me like that.

Oh.

Oh.

I love him.

The thought stopped him dead in his tracks. Yeon-Woo knew what loving his probe lead to. It lead to possessiveness and aggression and death. Yoo-Han was too bright to only light up Yeon-Woo's world of shadows. That didn't leave many options. He would have to disappear, before he became the monster he feared.

"Yeon-Woo, are you okay? We are almost done. Think you could finish the exhibition, or is it too much?" Yoo-Han's voice split his thoughts like an axe. Yoo-Han looked so soft and warm and fond that Yeon-Woo couldn't think for ruining this day for a second. "Let us both have this day. Then come tomorrow, I swear that I will be gone from your life. I will protect you, even if I am the thing you need protected from.'Yeon-Woo swore to himself.

"I am okay. Lets finish the show, but I am getting hungry." Yeon-Woo said. Yoo-Han smiled at him before lacing their hands together again.

"Okay. Then let me finish working on our dinner plans while we finish the show. I know you are probably getting tired but hang on a little while longer." Yoo-Han began tapping away on his phone and a few minutes later as the entered the last room, The both gasped in wonder.

The last room was a constantly shifting projection of a myriad of colors. They shifted and bloomed and dripped and grew and rose with every breath a different color every minute. It was beautiful and seemed to never end, the two boys began dancing together in the room, holding each other close. Yeon-Woo holding tighter than ever, knowing if only in his head that this was the last time they would be together. He wouldn't allow himself to be the source of Yoo-Han's pain and anguish, not when he had such a bright future ahead of him. After lingering for several moments in the final show room then finally exited. They did stop at the gift shop. Both boys buying a small print of one of their favorite pieces. The paused on the sidewalk, Yoo-Han checking something on his phone with a bright grin.

"Okay, sweetheart. Our next stop is out final stop. Your place. I had some stuff delivered so I could make you dinner." Yoo-Han for the first time in all their months together looked nervous. Yeon-Woo felt pure love rush through his veins, no one has cooked for him in years. When his aunt was home she usually went out for dinner with work friends or contacts, and left him alone.

"That sounds perfect. Come on." Yeon-Woo tugged on their clasped hands, and Yoo-Han stumbled a bit laughing at his eagerness. He slipped his mask on, to hid from the public and dutifully followed.

The walk was short, Yeon-Woo unlocked the door and security alarm, Yoo-Han memorizing it for reasons. He stood right behind him with the two bags of groceries in his hands. They took off their shoes, Yoo-Han unpacking everything while Yeon-Woo changed into more comfortable clothing. When he came back down, he had in his arms a bundle of cloth.

"Yoo-Han, I have some clothes you could change into. I also pulled out a spare futon and some pajamas for later if you want. I don't know what the rest of the night holds for us but, I figured be prepared?" Yeon-Wo trailed off, unsure.

"Do you want me to spend the night? I had one more thing planned for you this evening after dinner. I didn't want to be to presumptuous and demand to stay the night. I will if you want me too." Yoo-Han cupped his cheek in his hand, pressing their foreheads together.

Yeon-Woo's eyes watered slightly at the soft touch. "I would like nothing more than for you to stay." Yeon-Woo blinked the tears away. "Take these and get changed. We can hang your uniform on my door so it stays clean." Yeon-Woo said. Yoo-Han nodded in agreement. He took the offered clothes and went in to the bathroom. Yeon-Woo walked over to his mother's portrait and stared at it. 'That man is Go Yoo-Han. He is my probe. I love him. I want to protect him. I hope you approve.'Yeon-Woo was distracted staring at the painting that he didn't hear Yoo-Han come back.

"Who is this? Your sister?" Yoo-Han's voice wasn't muffled by the mask,

"No. My mother. My aunt's sister. She went missing almost 5 years ago. It was what made my aunt begin Black and White show. She went out on an errand and never came back. She was trying to teach me yellow that day. She would try to teach me like you do, not just the color but what makes it that color scientifically and emotionally too. She would be happy I met you, even though dad died of illness a year before she went missing." Yeon-Woo spoke with a carefully distance, trying to smother the emotions the story brought up with detachment. He didn't turn around and face Yoo-Han, not yet.

"You suffered so much and you still try to carry it all on you own. You aren't alone anymore. You said it yourself, she would be glad we met." You look like her. I can see it a bit in your faces." Yoo-Han said, happiness ringing in his tone.

"You are right. I'm not alone." Yeon-Woo took a deep breath. "Can we wait a minute on dinner? I want to see her. My dad painted that for her years ago. Said that is what she wore the day they met." Yeon-Woo didn't dare turn around, not wanting to see Yoo-Han's face at his eagerness and heartbreak.

"Of course. Do you want to sit down. Here is a blanket. You sit, I will show you my face. If you want to talk I am here, if not then we move on to dinner." Yoo-Han wrapped Yeon-Woo up in a blanket and plopped him down on the small bench across from the uncovered painting. Yeon-Woo looked up into his best friend's face, into his probe's face and promptly passed out from his second color rush.

When he came to, he first looked at Yoo-Han-always the first thing he looks at-then at the painting that has haunted him for almost 5 years. He began crying quietly, seeing the yellow headband and red lips and sky blue dress and brown shoes. He was unaware he was talking through the distant memories, working through the trauma and despair while clinging to his future like a drowning man. Yoo-Han felt his heart break all over again for this small sad boy who only wanted simple things in life-someone to love and someone to love him. Yoo-Han felt a red-hot anger scorch through him when he thought of everything his perfect Yeon-Woo had gone through to get to this point right here, breaking down in his arms over a painting for a woman he never got to mourn because of his deluded aunt's belief that she is still alive.

Minutes or hours later, Yeon-Woo finally stopped crying. He loosened his grip on Yoo-Han swaying to his feet. "I am going to wash my face. Then we can get started on dinner." Yoo-Han got up and started rummaging through cupboards to find what he needed to get dinner made.

Not a minute later, Yeon-Woo settled into the kitchen to begin helping make food. It was slow goings at first, Yeon-Woo was getting distracted by the food and the colors. They worked as a good team together. He had to keep pushing down the desire and thoughts of this being the rest of his days. He wasn't going to open that door, it would be too hard to shut again and he was already pushing Yoo-Han's luck with as much time as they have been spending with each other. He didn't want anything else to tip the scales, to make him into a monster.

"Food looks and tastes better when you can see what it is supposed to look like. Most days I can only stomach one meal, everything looks gray and bland."

Yeon-Woo admitted quietly. "My Aunt doesn't have monochromatic vision but she isn't home often so a lot of my day to day is handled by me. And sometimes, food is hard. sometimes living is hard." Yeon-Woo continued the confession, unaware of what he was doing to Yoo-Han's heart. "You make it easy. I will never be able to thank you for everything you have done for me." Yeon-Woo tried to smile at Yoo-Han but knew it was shaky and weak. Yoo-Han felt his breath catch in his throat. 'What am I supposed to say to that? My poor Yeon-Woo, depressed and alone, believing he doesn't deserve the things that make life worth living.'Yoo-Han was brushed his hands off before pulling the other boy into a hug, squeezing tight, trying to press the broken pieces of this boy back together.

"Thank you for telling me. I am glad you trust m enough to talk to me. And you are my Yeon-Woo, my mono, you will never have to thank me for anything. Now let's finish dinner. I think the rest of the night will be much needed, and I want to have enough time to do it right." Yoo-Han pressed Yeon-Woo against the counter, lifting him by the hips and sitting him on the counter. "Now, just sit there and look pretty. Tonight is all about you."

Dinner was amazing. Yoo-Han was rather skilled in the kitchen, handling several things at once, letting nothing burn. He only let Yeon-Woo handle stirring from the counter after listening to him nag about it, citing he felt useless. Once finished, they sat at the small table off to to the right of the kitchen, Yeon-Woo eating at a snail's pace. Yoo-Han didn't mind, he knew from now on they would be eating together somewhere private. With or without a color rush, Yoo-Han would make it his mission to let Yeon-Woo begin enjoying the simple things again. They chatted through dinner, talking about school and kpop training and the art show. It was intimate and pleasant. Yeon-Woo felt warm and fuzzy, he felt cared for for the first time in years.

"The next and final part to this is a bath. I want this day to be all about pampering and coddling you, so I figured that I could give you a bath. What do you think?" Yoo-Han offered. Yeon-Woo barely blinked before he nodded, a bright grin on his face.

"Okay, let me get the bath ready. Can you get me some towels and your pajamas please, sweetheart?" Yoo-Han didn't miss the slight blush on his face. Yeon-Woo got up and tried to gather the dishes, a hand on his arm stopped him. "What did I ask you to do, dearest? I will handle this. You go on." Yoo-Han said. Yeon-Woo nodded again, the endearment making him flush again. Yoo-Han went to the bathroom controls to hear the room and floor, he gathered all the necessary bottles, and began filling the tub, using water that was a little to hot since they wouldn't be getting in right away. Yoo-Han rolled his pant legs up and waited for Yeon-Woo. He came in a few seconds later, clothes in a bundle and dressed in only a robe.

Yoo-Han smiled softly. "You did a great job, love. Now, come here and sit down. I'll wash you hair and back before you get in." Yoo-Han pointed to the stool, turning the water on. Yeon-Woo blushed deeply, before settling down on the stool. Yoo-Han filed that information away for later use. Yoo-Han had him test the water, before spraying it on his head. He wet his hair and picked up some lemon lavender shampoo massaging it in deeply. the lather smelled nice, filling the whole room. Yoo-Han rubbed his fingers into Yeon-Woo's scalp, small circles to simulate a massage. He could feel the tension easing in Yeon-Woo's shoulders and back.

I'm gonna rinse now. Keep you eyes closed, sweetie." Yoo-Han waited for the quiet hum of agreement before gently pressing on Yeon-Woo's forehead, resting him on his shoulder. With soft fingers and gentle motions he rinsed the shampoo out. He grabbed some conditioner and rubbed that in just as softly. "Okay, precious. I'm gonna scrub you down okay? I got the cloth right here and I'll handle everything okay, honey?" Yeon-Woo let out a small whimper at the endearment. He leaned against Yoo-Han even more. "I have the bath ready. Let's get you in, cupcake." Yoo-Han helped Yeon-Woo into the tub, using his foot to slide the soap over. He put a towel to cushion Yeon-Woo's head and began washing him. He did his arms in nice, smooth strokes. He washed his torso, legs, toes, fingers, neck. He nudged him forward and cleaned his back. Yeon-Woo was just shy of asleep. Yoo-Han felt pride and possessiveness run through him again, 'I made him look like this. I am the only one to see him like this.'.

"Hey, sleepyhead. All done. You with me, sugarplum? Can you get up? Let's get you dressed and tucked into bed." Yoo-Han helped him out of the bath and into his clothes. Yoo-Han helped him into bed, swiping the pajamas that Yeon-Woo had set out earlier. Yeon-Woo was laying under his covers, eyes soft, affection making his gaze syrupy and thick. Yoo-Han came back in, the direct gaze loosening his shoulders. Yeon-Wo looked pampered and soft and happy and all because of Yoo-Han.

"Yoo-Han, thank you for today. I have never had a day like today. I am glad that I met you." Yeon-Woo murmured. "You can't ever leave me, Yoo-Han. I would go crazy without you." Yeon-Woo's eyes closed, breaths evening out. Yoo-Han settled into the futon on the floor, content that he made Yeon-Woo happy.

[kats-random-writing]

Just a silly Crush

6,048 words

Warnings:

Contains major character deaths.

This is written in Ochako’s POV so the reader is Uraraka.

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Just a silly Crush

“Okay listen up, Next week UA is hosting a Halloween festival.”

Cheers erupt as Aizawa addresses the class, until his glare silenced everyone. “This is basically an excuse for students to blow off steam” he sighed “the school will be decorated and the Main Street will be the main attraction, but each class has a private gym for their own use. That being said, you are all expected to take this seriously. In today’s society new heroes especially need to know how to impress people to get better ratings. You’ll all be expected to act respectfully, and dress for the occasion.” –

“SO, WE GET TO SEE ALL THE GIRLS IN SKIMPY HALLOWEEN COSTU~” Mineta’ s outburst is cut short by Aizawa’s capture weapon wrapping all around him.

“As I was trying to say,” he sighed “the school might just be using this for students to have fun, I expect you all to act respectfully and appropriately. Now you all already voted, so for your free time you will get a dance, present mic will DJ for you for 2 hours then you are free to do as you please.”

You raise your hand “Mr. Aizawa? Are we sure this is safe? I mean after all we’ve been through in this year alone! How do we know villains won’t attack? Thinking back over your career at UA, supposedly the top hero school it didn’t make sense how your class had been attacked so often, it almost seemed like the villain’s had an inside look at how UA operates.

“Uraraka, the school thinks this is a good idea for all of you, obviously there will be enhanced security procedures.” He sighed again “But the life of a hero is never safe, you always have to be ready to jump into action. If you want an easy job, then obviously the hero isn’t the right one for you” he gives you a pointed look as he climbs into his obnoxiously bright sleeping bag.

“Anyways that’s all I have for you today, you're all dismissed” and somehow, he’s asleep before anyone can pack up.

“Man, that was harsh!” you blush “I just want everyone to have a good time! I know hero work is hard”

“At least we get to dance again! You were all getting so good!” Mina jumps and throws her arms around you and the other girls who had gathered around you.

“I must say, this does sound like an excellent opportunity for us to grow. My first internship was all about making good impressions in the media” Momo chimed in, gathering a collection of agreements from the class until a loud voice took over “THAT’S RIGHT” you immediately recognize Iida’s booming voice “EVERYONE, WE MUST DO OUR BEST TO SHOW OUR SCHOOL SPIRIT AND ADVANCE OUR CAREERS AS HEROS!!!”

As Iida continues his surprisingly well-rehearsed speech Mina leans down and whispers in your ear “hey Ochako, this might be the perfect chance for you!!”

“Perfect chance for what?” you respond confused,

“For you to confess of course!”

“WHAT!” you shriek,

you swear you couldn’t blush any harder if you tried “Whatdoyoumeanwahtareyoutakingabout” you whisper again, panicked as you wait for what feels like forever for her response.

But it never comes.

“Uraraka?”

Instead, a new voice joins the conversation, “What’s going on are you okay?”

It’s only then that you see that all eyes are on you, thanks to your unexpected outburst.

You were wrong, you apparently could blush harder. Deku’s voice breaks through your shock, as he asks again, “are you okay?” you swear you could see a hint of pink dusting his freckled cheeks, as he stares into your eyes.

You’re never going to stop blushing at this point.

You stare intently back until you feel a sharp pain in your ribs, “Ouch” you cry rubbing the spot where Mina had elbowed you, bringing you back to reality. Oh yeah. The whole class was still staring at you. “I’M FINE, EVERYTHING'S FINE, NOTHING TO SEE HERE!” you say louder, and higher than you meant. Slowly everyone begins to go back to their conversations and leave the classroom. Snickering Mina links your arms together and leads the two of you to your next class, Hagakure joins you and links her arm around your free arm, ‘I agree with Mina, I think you should confess too,” she pauses before adding “Mina! Have you figured it out yet? Who do you think it is?”

Panic strikes again, “What are you talking about Toru? Figured who out?” You question as you fake a sense of nonchalance. “Who you have a crush on silly” Mina laughs back. “oh, ah that”

“I need to get a drink” you announce quickly, surprising both girls and wiggle your arms free despite their protests. You tell them you’ll see them in your next class and speed down the hallway, still hearing their speculations on who they think your “crush” is.

***

Mina’s words stuck with you for the rest of the day and it passed in a blur, it felt like no time had passed before you were sitting in the dorm common room with the rest of the girls doing your homework. Most of the boys had joined you too, the only ones missing were Bakugou, who never really hung out with anyone other than Kirishima, who was also missing. And Deku who you could see outside training in the fall air. You looked around at all the strong young heroes and thought about how each one inspired you towards your own goals, you thought hard about each of your supposed crushes;

Iida who was always confident in his decisions and sometimes good to a fault.

Bakugou, even though he appeared rough he had treated you like an equal during your fight at the sports festival and continued to stand up for you in your absence.

And Deku, Deku who had risked his life to save you before you even knew him, Deku who you secretly tried to help by giving your hero points after the UA entrance exam, Deku who had a heart of gold and worked harder than anyone to reach his goal of living up to the legacy of the number one hero, and you knew he could do it too, one day. And that scared you.

Leaning over to Mina who was sitting on the couch beside you, you whisper “You’re right. I’m going to do it. It’s time to confess”

***

Each passing day brought more excitement and anxiety, but you had made up your mind, you knew that you would last much longer, there was already suspicion and suspicion brought more eyes than you wanted on you. You had to solidify your plan, there was no room for error, with so many attempts behind you, you knew that this had to succeed.

You stared out the window as your mind raced, going over every aspect of the night ahead of you, and exactly what you wanted to say - “I’m sorry Uraraka, is this lesson boring you?” A deep voice asked.

Aizawa.

Oh yeah, you need to factor him in too. “NO! Of course not! I’m sorry! I… I was just…...thinking about tonight….” you confess to your teacher,

“Just pay attention please” Is all he responds to, as he turns back to the bored, and you finally clue into the lesson. It's on hero costumes??

You look up to see a crude drawing of Deku’s hero outfit with point’s to where he needs to improve aspects or where he succeeded. Did he go over everyones costumes and you just didn’t notice?

His voice interrupts your train of thought again, “I know everyone is excited about tonight, but remember that UA has a lot riding on this, there have been too many incidents this year and we don’t want UA’s name to look worse in the eye of the public” He sounds almost sarcastic, “Anywho~ that’s I have for you today. Your all dismissed.”

“Mr. Aizawa, we have a full half hour of scheduled class time left?!” Iida immediately questions. “Not to disrespect your authority sir, but should we not continue learning while in our scheduled homeroom class?” The rest of the class members agree and look up expectantly at Aizawa who is struggling to climb into his sleeping bag.

“I’m tired and have nothing else to teach today,” he pauses before adding “besides it seems like most of you are “too distracted” this afternoon.” Finally in his sleeping bag he curls up and closes his eyes. The class slowly begins to gather their things and leave, but apparently not fast enough as aizawa’s voice rings though the room again “ Go get ready for tonight, I’m sure you’ll look totally cu~…….” his voice raised an octave, before he paused to cleared his throat “I’m sure you all want to look your best.”

“And you’re all too loud…….. Leave…….now.”

You looked around at your class, and everyone was staring at your teacher with varied expressions of shock, confusion, and a few horror. “I’ve never known aizawa-sensei to stay awake so long after getting in his sleeping bag” Momo says to Jiro as they leave. Mineta, still horrified, looks up to Kamanari “Was it just me or did Aizawa…sorta sound like a girl!”

“You think EVERYTHING is a girl” Kamanari retorts, chuckling as he leaves the classroom.

The rest of the class leaves the room in a similar fashion. The rest of the school day passes like normal, except maybe for when Bakugou didn’t yell at Deku in the lunch line, but that probably was just Kirishima’s influence, the more time the two of them spent together, the better bakugou's attitude was, Kirishima’s grades seemed to keep rising too. Before you knew it you were sitting on Momo’s monster of a bed with the rest of the 1-A girls, the difference between your room and Momo’s room couldn’t be any more obvious. Jealousy stabbed thought you, you didn’t mean to really, but it’s hard when you see more money in Momo’s dorm bedroom then your family had in their bank accounts combined, and it stung. You didn’t blame Momo, she didn’t choose her rich life any more than you choose to be born to poor parents. All you could think about was the countless times you skipped meals, or “forgot” about school trips, and all the other things you did to save money for your parents. Of course when they found out they were shocked, but you just reassured them that there was nothing you wouldn’t do for your family.

“So have you decided what costume you want Ochako?” Your head snaps up as Momo’s voice interiors your train of thought, “OH! Um, I was thinking about…….well maybe going as a witch?” You admit shyly. “Adorable” croaked Sue, “Omg! You're going to look so cute” Mina chimes in, “Your mystery mans not going to know what hit him!” Hagakure ads.

You feel your face heat up, betraying you as you look over the girls, you know that after tonight everything will be out in the open and different, and you're thankful that they’ve been so supportive of you and your secrets. “Guys! Stop!” You squeak,

“Okay, one witch costume coming right up” Momo says as she begins forming a dark material from her abdomen, “Do you want a hat too?” She questions.

Before long you're all dressed in your costumes, you look around and see Momo as the bride of Frankenstein, she must have talked to Present Mic to get her hair to stay up like that, you think to yourself. Mina’s in the 1-A cheer outfit from the sports festival, Hagakure is going as a skeleton, at first she wanted to just have the bones attached directly to her to look more realistic and spooky, but we very quickly reminded her that Mineta would be around and that idea changed real fast. Now she wore a black bodysuit that you and the girls had painted to look like a skeleton. Sue is looking festive as a pumpkin and Jiro is rocking a suit and tie demon look! You looked down at the costume Momo had made for you, of course it was super stylish, the orange top highlighting the rest of the black dress, you had pulled your short hair back into a small bun, leaving you bangs loose and completing the look with black tights and the tradition witches hat.

***

As you walked the now decorated halls of UA, the festival was just beginning, and there were people everywhere. Not surprisingly everyone was in costume, making it a little difficult to tell who was who. As you continued to walk down to your designated gym you swear you recognized the purple scar-like...makeup? under someone’s mask leading down his neck, he stood almost a head taller than you, but was lost to the crowd as quickly as you spotted him in the first place. “People are really going all out aren’t they?” You say to no one in particular.

As the class enters the “gym”, if it could even be called a gym anymore, given the schools money and use of quirks to completely change its every aspect to fit its needs. The wide room was dimly lit and the floor was covered in a thick fog that wafted around your legs as you walked through it, the wall’s had spider webs, fairy lights, and some cheesy halloween decorations, and the whole space was surprisingly beautiful. The girls were the first in and Mina and Hagakure were already running around the whole room squealing loudly, drawing a few laughs from the rest of the girls. That is until Mina tripped and fell with a scream and was swallowed by the smoke! “Mina!” You cry out as you run across the hall to see what happened to your friend.

“Oh my god what happened” you say as you reach the disturbed smoke, you squint and see Mina still on the ground, she sits up on your approach, “That was super weird, something tripped me but I don’t see anything?”

Suddenly whatever Mina had tripped over was sitting up and right in your faces, next thing you know you're looking right into two dead eyes and a face wrapped in cloth.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH” YOU, MINA AND HAGAKURE ALL SCREAM IN UNISON!

As you’re still trying to catch your breath you hear laughing from behind you, while you were running to Mina’s aid, the rest of your class had come in just in time to see the three of you scream right in your teachers face. “Mr. Aizawa I didn’t know you were going to dress up too” Jiro chuckles, reaching down to help Mina up. You look back at the cause of your fright and now can clearly see your teacher, Mr. Aizawa sitting up staring expectantly at you, and dressed up in a halloween costume no less. “BAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ROUND CHEEKS YOU SHOULD’VE SEEN YOUR FACE” you can still hear Bakugou howling in the background. Your face feels a million degrees hotter than it did two seconds ago, you look up and see a hand reaching down to help you up. It’s Deku.

You slowly reach for his hand, and he easily pulls you to your feet, “That looked like you were really surprised, are you okay?” he asked you earnestly, A blush dusting across his own face as he still holds your hand.

“God you're all so loud” Aizawa groans as he begins to stand up “but you're all here now, your individual class time is starting in two minuets, then after that you are all free to explore the festival.”

“Nice mummy costume Mr.Aizawa!” Denki calls after the retreating man, “wait, if he’s dressed up like a mummy, but he’s our class dad, what do we call him tonight?” you're not sure if he meant to say that out loud, but given the confused look on his face, when the class laughs and groans, you think that was supposed to stay a personal thought, not a public comment. Jiro Punches his shoulder, and only then do you notice that their costumes are matching, you look around the gym to finally look at everyone else, you see iida as some sort of patch work frankenstein, Todoroki is in a classic vampire costume, and looking like he just woke up, Bakugou surprisingly in a partnered costume, is a wolf. Kirishima looks to be his own twist on a little red riding hood, so he’s little Red Riot hood! And you finally look at the boy still holding your hand, And see he’s dressed up as a ghost.

“YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! WHOS READY FOR SOME SPOOOOOKY FUN!!” a voice far too loud for the space invades your ears, and instinctively you scramble to cover them as your eyes search for the loud offender. You see Present Mic standing across the room from the group and an angry Aizawa behind him. “Sorry Listeners!” he sheepishly responds “ NOW FOR THE NEXT TWO HOURS YOUR CLASS IS GONNA DANCE, GROOVE AND HAVE A SCARY GOOD TIME! AIZAWA AND I ARE GOING TO BE MONITORING THE DANCE FLOOR AND DOOR TO KEEP ALL YOU LISTENERS SAFE!” recovering quickly the blond continued to go though the rules of the night, and soon there is music flowing through the room.

Like all school dances at first people just milled around, But Mina and Mic very quickly got almost everyone up and moving around the dance floor and having a great time. You all learn some new dance moves, play a few games and generally enjoy the night, before you know it the two hours is almost over. You’re taking a break for a drink of water, you turn around and see all the girls surrounding you. “Uh, hi guys” you say awkwardly “what’s going on?”

“What’s going on is there’s about half an hour left and it’s time.” Hagakure is the first to speak.

“She's right, Ochako” Says Sue.

“You’ve got this dude, nothing to be scared of”’ Jiro speaks next

“We’re here for you, and this is for your own good” it’s Momo’s turn to encourage you.

“Look, the next song is going to be a slow song! You are going to go out there grab that boy, dance, confess, kiss, and basically live happily ever after!” Mina says finally.

You stare at all of them for a second, then two. You know deep in your heart this is your last chance. In those few seconds you swear your whole life flashed before you. And you make your choice.

“Okay.”

“No need to sound so somber!” “no matter what we love you!” “don’t worry, it’s going to be okay” the girls all group in tight to all hug you, all while telling you things would be okay, and you hugged them all back like it was the last one you’d get. All while trying to believe the words they said.

Slowly they all make their way back to the dance floor as the current song seems to be slowing down. A knock at the door calls Aizawa to answer, seeing as him and Mic were keeping track of who could come in and out for student safety. You watch as Aizawa looks through the small window and waves an okay to Present Mic. So you turn your attention back to the task at hand.

Just as Mina had said, once the upbeat song ended, a much softer and slower song started. You scanned the room, paying no mind to the new people Aizawa had let in, and watched as your classmates coupled up. All the girls had assured you if they started dancing with who you needed to talk to they would understand and let you take their place. But that didn’t appear to be necessary. Momo was dancing with todoroki, Sue with Tokoyami, Mina was causing a scene by stealing Kirishima from Bakugou, saying it was a school dance tradition that they share a dance. Hagakure and Ojiro were dancing quietly, and Denki looked like he was trying to convince Jiro not to be embarrassed, and she looked about two seconds away from actually dancing with him.

Leaving you.

Your eyes wandered the croud one last time, finally locking on the green eyed, green haired boy who had been taking up space in your mind for so long. You crossed the dance floor feeling like all eyes where on you, cheeks as red as can be, “May I have this dance?’’ You barely manage to whisper. You watch as his face lights up and blushes beet red at the same time.

“What! Are you sure? Seriously! Of course” he still looks shocked as you reach out your hand, he takes it. You feel your confidence rising as the two of you begin to dance. It’s blissful and calm for a minute, your hearts both beating a mile a minute, you take a deep breath and lean your head against his shoulder, slowing the dance to barely swaying side to side. “Deku, there’s something I need to get off my chest.” you begin quietly.

And he can only nod his head in response, you can only assume this is his first dance with a girl before.

The song is starting to slow and you know the end is coming, it’s time and you know it.

“Deku…...I…~”

Before you can finish your thought, the walls erupt with bright blue fire! Screams erupt from all around you as your class all jump to the middle of the room, with their retreat the fire starts to follow and spread to the floor circling the class!

“Mr.Aizawa!” Someone screams for help “EVERYONE AWAY FROM THE WALLS” comes another. “IS THIS REAL! IS THIS REAL OR TRAINING?” you hear as you watch the fire getting closer and closer

“EVERYONE GRAB HOLD” you scream as you hold out your hands! Desperate to get your friends away from the flames as quickly as possible. You feel hands clasp your own and see that everyone has grabbed onto each other. “URARAKA NOW!!” it’s Deku’s voice that breaks through. You activate your quirk and groan with effort and soon your whole class is suspended in mid air, it’s not a great solution, but it’s the only one you have at the moment as the fire covers the ground you were on seconds before.

“AIZAWA WHAT’S GOING ON '' you hear screamed from behind you, and you look down to see your teacher standing on the ground, the fire leaving a bubble around him and Present Mic on the ground at his feet. Whether he’s alive or dead you can’t tell, you didn’t even hear him go down. As your classmates watch in horror, Aizawa begins to smile, then laugh. The laugh doesn't match him though. It’s too high, too light, and too crazy.

As he begins laughing harder his whole being begins to melt.

The harder he laughs the more of him drips away, until nothing is left of your teacher and a small, naked blonde girl stands in his place.

As soon as you could recognise her as Himiko Toga from the league of Villains, the rest of your class could too. And just as your actual teacher instructed you, anyone who could, jumped into action as the rest of the attack party took their places beside her.

Bakugou, Todoroki and Tokoyami had the lead, seeing as they could maneuver best in the air.

“Kurogiri,” a deep voice calls out lazily, and in an instant anyone acting on their own was surrounded by black and purple smoke. You watched as your classmates struggled against their captor.

“STOP!” you command.

The power in your voice doesn’t go unnoticed as your classmates pause and even the villains stop their approach.

“Well well, looks like someone’s got balls” Dabi dralls “Kurogiri! Bring her closer.”

Before you can even think the dark smoke is forming around you, and quickly you’re covered and once your vision is returned to you, you’re face to face with the villain. He looks you up and down, skeptical, “and why would we stop doll?” He asks feigning innocence.

“Where’s our teacher? What did you do to Mic! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US!” your voice raises as you question the man. And he laughed, A deep low chuckle.

“Your teacher’s alive” the blonde, Toga replies still naked “ if that’s what you mean, he’ll probably be waking up any time now”

“God, cover up Crazy”

Dabi rolls his eyes, practically throwing his long coat at the girl.

“Too bad he won’t make it here in time” Dabi adds sinisterly. His eyes never leave yours, almost like he doesn't know what to make of you. “LET ME GO YOU SMOKY BASTARD” Bakugou screams, drawing your attention back to your class, he’s thrashing around and trying everything to escape and fight. You see the others, some struggling to move while weightless, other’s where still frozen.

“Let. Her. Go.”

It’s Deku. You meet his eyes, he’s managed to support himself midair and is aiming his hand ready to fire a powerful air blast directly at the villains. You quickly look at the rest of your class, no one else seems to be able to fight, they float aimlessly trying hard to just stay looking at you in the villain’s grasp.

“You want her?” Dabi laughs,

“Catch!” With that your still weightless body is thrown through the air directly at Deku, who barely has time to move to catch you. You land with a thud against his chest, immediately reaching your arms around his neck, “Are you okay?” he asks quickly, and you tighten your arms around him in response. “Why’d you throw her back?” whines Toga in the background, “She’s cute, I wanted to stab her” “Shut up Crazy, I wanna see something”

“Deku, Don’t fight back.” You whisper in his ear, Leaning away from him you look at the rest of the class all staring at you wide-eyed, “Everyone! Please don’t fight back!” you reach to cup the messy haired boy's cheeks, and he slowly starts to move lower to the ground under your touch…..

“There’s no use!” you continue, voice growing louder,

“You’ll never win.” You state plainly.

You turn your head to look back to Dabi, the flame villain, “Gimme some space.” you command. “Well I’ll be damned….” and just as requested the ground reappears beneath you, giving you just enough space on the singed ground for you to stand and Deku to lay, without being burned by the bright flames. You continue the motion, until Deku is flat on his stomach, letting him go, you stand straight and look over the people you once called your friends. “This is the only chance I can give you.” you begin, only to be quickly interrupted. “What are you talking about!” “Ochako what’s going on! What do you mean!” “NO!nonononononononono” and countless other things are all said at once by all your classmates. The other villains approach, until they are standing next to you. “Should I break the news to them?” Dabi asks sarcastically,

Ignoring the floating students you turn to face the taller man, “No it’s okay, besides I’m actually a little relieved they’re all so shocked”

“Hey, Ochako?” Toga piped in, turning your attention again, “What’s wrong with Izuku?”

She’s standing over the fallen hero-to-be. Poking him with her knife, not enough to actually stab him but beginning to draw blood from his exposed skin.

“He’s a threat if he can move, so I took care of it.” Silence. You realize, no one is talking, your classmates must finally understand the gravity of the situation.

“How Long?”

It’s Bakugou who breaks the silence, he must be thinking back to the training camp where he was kidnapped, it’s the only other time you’ve heard his voice so small. Ignoring them all you continue your well prepared speech. “As I was saying, This is the only chance I can give you.”

You state plainly, looking up at your stunned audience. “If you join us now and dedicate yourselves to Shigaraki, and bringing down our so-called hero society, I can spare you. Most of you have desirable quirks, and it would be a shame to lose them.”

“HOW FUCKING LONG”

You look up at Bakugou, pity in your eyes, the poor boy has been through so much, but you already knew he was one who would never give in, never submit to Shigaraki. “Since before I even enrolled in UA.” finally answering his question, you figure they deserve that much. “So yes I did know about the plan to kidnap you at our training camp, They tracked me, that's how they knew where we were. I even did my best to slow down your rescue party to make sure my team would succeed.” you see hatred in his eyes as you refer to the “villians” as your team.

“HOW COULD YOU!?” “THIS ISN’T REAL” “no…...it’s not true! IT CAN’T BE TRUE”

The whole class begins yelling their disbelief over each other. One voice in particular catches your attention, it’s only one word, barely more than a whisper. But it stabs through your heart nonetheless.

“Why?”

His eyes can only just reach yours, as Deku strains to move his head under the immense pressure holding him down, tears pouring as he repeats himself, “why?”

“I told you the first time you asked, don’t you remember Deku?” The rest of the class silences again to listen to every word you speak, still trying to wrap your heads around the fact that you are standing next the the “bad guys”

“Money, I need the money for my family. You’d think that in a world of Hero vs Villain, and with the abundance of collateral damage, a construction company would be able to afford a decent living. NO! My family had to suffer and struggle for years! no hero would help because we weren't being attacked, Banks wouldn’t do anything, NO ONE WOULD HELP US.” emotion filling your voice as you grow louder and louder. “No one. That is until I was contacted by someone who was willing to look under the surface of the “perfect” society and see what needed to change” sarcasm you’ve been hiding for so long finally breaches the surface, and as you press your hands together at your fingertips, all of your classmates begin to sink closer to the brilliant blue flames beneath them. “I actually have you to thank Deku. You see my employer kept a special eye on All Might, “the Number One Hero”, “The Symbol of Peace” Ugh” you groan in disgust, “We’ll my employer new All Might was getting older and weaker, so he would obviously be looking for a successor, and unlike my employer he didn’t start looking until the last minute, actually putting you in immense danger by the way.” laughing as you listen to the screams coming from your class as they get closer and closer to the flames.

“So when All Might started training a new successor for One for All, You all know about that right, Deku inherited All Might's power, that's why he was quirkless the rest of his life and why he kept breaking his bones. HE’S HAD A QUIRK FOR LESS THEN A YEAR AND HE’S ALREADY EITHER REACHED OR SUPPASSED MOST OF YOU! AND YOU’VE HAD YOUR QUIRKS FOR YOUR WHOLE LIVES!” letting your arms fall to your sides, as your classmates hover just over the fire.

“I’m getting off track, basically we knew we needed to shock this society to its core, and how better then to destroy its core. The prized hero school, the symbol of peace, the next generation.” you emphasize each word. “So I tried to make sure deku would get into UA, not that he needed my help, I also made sure he didn’t kill himself day one” you send a pointed look down at Deku and Bakugou. “I organized and planned from inside and made sure that my team had everything they needed to infiltrate UA. All while pushing my quirk and gaining control I couldn’t even imagine”

Coughing is all that comes from the students, the air too hot and filled with smoke. “Wanna wrap this up doll” Dabi points to the ceiling, the fire from the wall has almost completely covered the ceiling, the building is going to come down and you know it. “So how about it? Hero's” He sneers “Anyone going to take our generous offer?” Everyone is struggling now, no one wants this to be their end. But no one moves. Anyone who can just glares down, “Never.” “You’re not going to get away with this” “trator” they’ve all made their choices. Dabi turns to look at Shoto, who is still wrapped head to toe with Kurogiri’s smoke. “Really not even you, Baby brother?” Shoto’s eye’s widened in surprise. “You don’t want dear old dad to pay, pay for what he did to you,” he covers his left eye mimicking Shoto’s scar “ what he did to Touya?” gesturing to himself “What about what he did to our mother!” Shoto stays silent as ever, you turn to dabi “I think it's time to leave~” your cut off.

“Okay”

“What” you and Dabi say in unison, “I said okay” Shoto repeats “I’ll follow you, your right. Hero society does need to change.”

“Kurogiri bring him to us, doll go do your thing, crush him if he tries anything funny.” you walk over to where Shoto was being let down from Kurogiri’s grasp, reaching out to touch his face “like he said, try anything funny and your on the ground like roadkill” he nods in agreement and just next thing Shoto’s body was released from the fog, and true to his word. Shoto didn’t move. “Okay, I mean it this time, time to go. Kurogiri take us home.” the whooshing of Kurogiri’s warp gate behind you signals it's now or never. Ears finally fulling tuning in to the cries and coughs of your class, “Last chance” you say hopefully. “THEY’LL KNOW IT WAS YOU!” Mina, tears streaming down her face “YOUR BODY WON’T BE HERE! THEY’LL COME FOR YOU”

Tears welling up in your own eyes, as you say a silent goodbye, before composing yourself. “How will they tell, when all that's left is ash.” you say somberly “I told you, I’ve been doing this for a while, I won’t be caught so easily.” you sigh, this is turning out to be harder than you thought. You did care about all of your classmates, spending so much time getting to know them, you had hoped some of them would’ve seen your side of things, but you were out of time, Dabi’s brilliant blue flames now began to peak through the roof.

“Thank you though Mina, for convincing me it was time to confess.” you say half heartedly “I did really wish some of you would’ve joined”

As you stepped back, halfway through the warpgate you look back down into Izuku’s eye’s one last time and whisper “I’m sorry” before pressing your fingers together one last time and forcing everyone one to the ground, the warpgate closes around you and you can still hear their screaming ringing in your ears.

***

As you look around the unfamiliar bar, you see Shoto talking to Dabi looking the most engaged you’ve ever seen him. Kurogiri behind the bar standing, waiting. A few others milled around, and Toga came bounding up to you as you reached up to your face, wiping tears you didn’t know were falling. “You okay Ochako? I can call you that right? Now that you're officially here?!” She says excitedly. “God it’s so nice to have another girl here since we lost big sis mag”

Quickly wiping your eyes “I’ll be okay, don’t worry, it’s just a silly crush”

[breakthesitcom]

1OO IMPORTANT CHARACTER QUESTIONS

taken from beth kinderman and nikki walker’s the 100 most important things to know about your character. a good list to help develop a character’s background, personality, and general aspects.

Taken from: @museinspo Tagging: Whomstever!

PART 1: THE BASICS

What is your full name?

Jordan El Kent

Where and when were you born?

Metropolis, Kansas in 2009

Who are/were your parents? (Know their names, occupations, personalities, etc.)

Clark Kent aka Superman and Lois Lane, they used to work for the Daily Planet. But, they quit after we moved to Smallville. Now my dad’s a farmer, and my mom works for the local paper. They’re both pretty good parents. 

Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like?

I have a twin brother named Jonathan, whose my polar opposite and better than me in a lot of ways. I also would have had a little sister named Natalie but...things didn’t work out that way. 

Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people.

I live with my mom and dad in Smallville, Kansas which is a small town and it’s pretty quiet. But it’s...a good place to live. 

What is your occupation?

High school student

Write a full physical description of yourself. You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks.

I’m 5′7″, with curly black hair and a lot of people say my eyes are blue-green. They’re blue, it’s just sometimes they look kind of green depending on lighting. Um, I don’t really know how much I weigh and...I am as pale as the driven snow because I never see the sun. I prefer wearing black and dark clothes. And no tattoos or marks. 

To which social class do you belong?

I’m...guessing middle class?

Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses?

Allergies no, but I do have an aversion to Kryptonite.

Are you right- or left-handed?

Right handed

What does your voice sound like?

It’s still not that deep, or as deep as I’d like it to be.

What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently?

I have no idea, you’d have to ask my brother that one. 

What do you have in your pockets?

Currently? Um some change, keys, phone, ooh I have gum! I didn’t know that was in there. 

Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics?

Um, I guess sometimes I tend to talk with my hands a lot. It’s a little weird, and I’m sure my brother can tell you many annoying habits about me. My worst one? Diving headfirst into stuff, without thinking of consequences. That one gets me in trouble a lot. 

PART 2: GROWING UP

How would you describe your childhood in general?

Um, home wise it was pretty good. My dad was usually working or out of town, so he wasn’t always there. It was usually mom and us, which was...fine. Ok sometimes it could be a little frustrating, but I can’t complain too much. Outside of home? Like at school.....lets not talk about that. 

What is your earliest memory?

I think, I vaguely remember being in a dark place. it’s a place that’s really dark, and I can hear my mom? But she sounds muffled..like I’m underwater but I can still hear her. And there’s something else in there, so it’s a little cramped, but it’s not scary. I told my mom that, and she said there was no way I remember being in the womb. But I swear I remember that one thing. 

How much schooling have you had?

Kindergarden through freshman year. 

Did you enjoy school?

Nope. Well, back in Metropolis I didn’t. I was bullied relentlessly, and had no friends and...everyone hated my guts. Smallville High isn’t that bad, I like it here. 

Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities?

Um, depends on what you mean. Now that he’s around a lot more, I do...learn a lot of stuff from my dad. Like, how to use my strength and how to work on the farm. 

While growing up, did you have any role models? If so, describe them.

Probably my mom, she was Superwoman...ironically. But, she was the parent who was there the most. She’s a badass, and she never lets anything stop her from doing the right thing. 

While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family?

I kept to myself a lot, I...also threw tantrums...a lot so I’m sure I didn’t make it easy on anyone. 

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Ironically, Superman. When I was a kid, my mom would tell me Superman stories and....I wanted to be just like Superman. I also wanted to be a video game programmer, and make games of my own. 

As a child, what were your favorite activities?

Drawing, I used to play the piano, writing, and reading. 

As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display?

Well I had undiagnosed Anxiety, and before we knew I used to throw tantrums a lot. Not proud of that, but...I did. I was alos a lot more shy and insecure, about a lot of things. Um, there was a time...I might have been nicer and...maybe more optimistic, but I think bullying kind of beat that right out of me. So. I was also kind of a crybaby. I was...a troubled kid....still kind of am depending on who you ask.

As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like?

Uh no, actually....I was the loser, outcast, who never talked to anyone. I didn’t have any friends, unless you counted Jonathan. I have friends now, which is weird to me.....but also nice.

When and with whom was your first kiss?

Um,  next question.

If you are a supernatural being (i.e. mage, werewolf, vampire), tell the story of how you became what you are or first learned of your own abilities. If you are just a normal human, describe any influences in your past that led you to do the things you do today.

Not technically supernatural, but I am...part...alien?  My dad is Superman, and thus I am part Kryptonian. I’m still trying to figure out my powers, though I know I’m probably going to get all of his. At first I didn’t think I had them. But then I saved my brother from these big metal tubes and....I guess that’s when they kicked in. 

PART 3: PAST INFLUENCES

What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?

Probably finding out I had powers, to be honest and then finding out my dad was Superman. Life kind of changed after that. 

Who has had the most influence on you?

My mom, and my brother. They’re the family I spent most time with. 

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Winning my first ever football game, I never played sports before and ok I did have powers to help me out. But...it still felt good to win something for once. 

What is your greatest regret?

Hurting my brother.....letting my dad down.....letting Edge take my dad.....lying to Sarah every day. 

What is the most evil thing you have ever done?

So....when I was six, mom and dad were repainting the living room. And there was paint, I have no idea why I did this. But, I dipped my hand in the paint, and I.....touched the walls.....and then blamed Jon for it. Granted in my defense, they were gonna paint it anyway. But.....yeah, I think that’s the most evil or I guess bad thing I ever did. 

Do you have a criminal record of any kind?

Nope...pretty sure my mom would kill me if I did. 

When was the time you were the most frightened?

Oh there have been plenty of times, um when my superhearing kicked in and Jon and I had to go save dad, he drove us all the way to this warehouse with weird red lights. There was Edge and what he did to dad, there was....a lot of stuff.

What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you?

Lets not open that can of worms. 

If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why?

mm, I wouldn’t have broken Jon’s arm.

What is your best memory?

So it was really hot one year, and mom and dad surprised us with a beach trip. Jon and I were seven and well we’d never been before, so we were super excited, we spent all day there and we ate this big burgers with fries and....it was nice.

What is your worst memory?

Not gonna answer that. 

PART 4: BELIEFS & OPINIONS

Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic?

Um, I’m in the middle? I think it depends on what it is. Sometimes, I can be an optimist....mostly a pessimist. 

What is your greatest fear?

Losing control of my powers...and hurting other people.

What are your religious views?

I mean, we were raised to believe in the Almighty, and granted it wouldn’t surprise me given all the aliens and supernatural stuff if he did exist. Uh, but if there is one...he has a very interesting sense of humor sometimes. 

What are your political views?

Well, still forming those but I do lean more to the left. 

What are your views on sex?

I’m gonna skip this one. 

Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable?

No. I don’t think I have it in me to kill anyone. I...I know I probably seem like the type, y’know loner, wears black, and plays violent video games, but I would never do that. To me, even if it’s a villain...all life deserves to be protected. Maybe that’s naive, but I learned that from dad.

In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do?

I think manipulating someone, taking them and just...doing whatever it is to brainwash them and turn them into someone their not. Or even just, making them do something they would never do, I think that’s pretty evil. 

Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love?

I do, because in every universe there is a Clark Kent and a Lois Lane, and in almost every universe they find one another. And they choose each other. And I think that’s pretty great.

What do you believe makes a successful life?

I’ll...get back to you on that.

How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)?

Not very, but depending on how angry I am I will infact yell and scream about my feelings. Mostly though I keep stuff bottled up, which probably isn’t healthy but I don’t want people worrying. 

Do you have any biases or prejudices?

I do not, I’m willing to give everyone at least one chance..and the benefit of the doubt. Except for Lex Luthor...screw that guy...and Jimmy Cutter while I’m at it but even then.....if he apologized? sure. 

Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it?

Wear a cape, listen I have seen the Incredibles, and sure it’s a kid’s movie but...I still would rather not have a cape snag on takeoff or get sucked into a plane’s turbines. 

Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)?

My family...my friends...Sarah.

PART 5: RELATIONSHIPS W/OTHERS

In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how?

I will treat you as you treat me, you’re gonna be a dick? I will be a dick back. You’re nice? I’ll be nice back. But....I also believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt when it’s earned, in giving second chances, and helping even if I don’t like them. 

Who is the most important person in your life, and why?

I don’t think I have just one person. 

Who is the person you respect the most, and why?

um, my parents? For obvious reasons, and Jon....for a lot of reasons. 

Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people.

It’s probably weird, but my best friend is Jon. We do everything together, and he’s always been there for me. He protects me, and sometimes we annoy the heck out of each other. But we’re always there for each other. 

Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person.

I do not have a spouse...yet.

Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened.

I’m pretty sure I feel in love with Sarah after I saw her again, at grandma’s funeral which sounds weird. But in context, we hadn’t seen each other since we were kids, and when I saw her...it was like...there was something....inside that felt nice. 

What do you look for in a potential lover?

That’s a weird way to put it, but um...I want someone whose nice, whose good and sweet and smart, and someone who cares about me and who I can laugh about dumb stuff with and whose....not afraid to be them and....someone who understands...and is very understanding.

How close are you to your family?

We’re getting better, but we weren’t always super close. 

Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not?

No not yet, but eventually? I do want to marry Sarah and have kids with her. I think I’d like....two or three kids?

Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help?

I guess it would depend on the danger. If it’s a bully at school? Jon, if it’s something more emotional? mom if...its something superhero related dad. 

Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why?

My family....they’re always there for me. 

If you died or went missing, who would miss you?

Before Smallville, I would have said no one. That everyone would be happier...but now I know that’s not true. That, there are people, who would in fact miss me. 

Who is the person you despise the most, and why?

The most? Tal-Rho, look say what you want about Lex Luthor, or Gorilla Grodd, or any other villain but Tal is an asshole to the highest possible degree. I do not even consider him an uncle, because he’s not. He’s just a tyrannical, fascist, bully, who deserves to be alone and miserable for the rest of his life. 

Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?

Oh yeah, no I..I argue...not my best trait. I mean I’ll avoid it if I can but...mostly I will fight. 

Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations?

Nope I am not cut out to be the leader under any circumstances. 

Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not?

Also no, I have anxiety and sure I handle large groups in small doses, but mostly I prefer smaller groups of people. 

Do you care what others think of you?

Yes and no, it depends I guess. I care very much what Sarah thinks or my friends, do I care what villains and bullies think? Not really....well bullies...eh. 

PART 6: LIKES & DISLIKES

What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes?

Playing video games, sometimes football, reading, I started playing piano again. 

What is your most treasured possession?

I’ll keep that to myself.

What is your favorite color?

Black

What is your favorite food?

Spaghetti and meatballs. 

What, if anything, do you like to read?

Um, I’ll read anything honestly, but...my favorite book series has to the Percy Jackson series. Which ok I get the irony, but it’s a good series. It is. 

What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)?

Honestly? I don’t mind binging a random comedy every once in awhile. 

Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit?

None of the above.

How do you spend a typical Saturday night?

That would be, playing video games or just binging something and eating whatever junk food we have. 

What makes you laugh?

I have a very dark sense of humor, Jon can get me to laugh though no matter what. 

What, if anything, shocks or offends you?

Probably bullying, which is a huge one for me. 

What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself?

I’ve actually had insomnia before, and usually I’d get on my computer or play video games very very quietly. 

How do you deal with stress?

I don’t.

Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan?

In some cases, sometimes I like a plan, mostly though I thrive on being spontaneous. You’d think I wouldn’t but...that’s a whole other conversation. 

What are your pet peeves?

I have way too many to count. But I think the worst one? Clacking the spoon with your teeth when you’re eating. It’s like nails on a chalkboard to me. 

PART 7: SELF IMAGES & OTHER

Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted?

Um, wake up, brush my teeth, have breakfast, get dressed, go to school, and go home. If I’m not hanging out with Sarah and obviously on the weekends its different. Honestly? it gets disrupted every other week so I’m used to it. 

What is your greatest strength as a person?

I don’t really think I have any if I’m honest. 

What is your greatest weakness?

Oh where to start um, I am too human for aliens and too alien for humans, I am weak, I am way too emotionally charged, sometimes I occasionally give way too much of a crap, I am a freak of nature, and I....I’m the last person who should have ever gotten super powers. 

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Probably....the above, I don’t mind powers but....Jon should have gotten them, not me. He’s the real hero. 

Are you generally introverted or extroverted?

I am definitely an introvert.

Are you generally organized or messy?

It drives my mom crazy how messy I am.

Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at.

Um, things I’m bad at? Sports, being in a large crowd by myself, cooking and...things I’m good at? That’s a great question. 

Do you like yourself?

Before Smallville, no. I hated everything about myself, and I...didn’t think very highly of myself in regards to...other people. I thought life would be better for everyone if I...wasn’t a thing. But, I’m starting to....I can’t tell you things I’m good at or what I like about myself. But I can tell you, that I have friends, a family, a girlfriend...people who I can rely on and who rely on me. I dunno if that means I like myself, but I know it means...I have people. 

What are your reasons for being an adventurer (or doing the strange and heroic things that RPG characters do)? Are your real reasons for doing this different than the ones you tell people in public? (If so, detail both sets of reasons…)

Growing up, I idolized my mom and Superman and I wanted to be just like him. I don’t deserve these powers but now that I have them. I’m gonna use them for good. 

What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime?

Well for starters I really, really want to be a superhero

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

In five years? So when I’m 19. I will be a Superhero, and I will go to college in New York with Sarah and...we have an apartment there. We have jobs, small ones not fully careers but....I want a life with her. 

If you could choose, how would you want to die?

oof morbid, but um....I’m gonna quote Titanic a little. I want to die when I’m very old, safe and warm in my bed...having lived a good life. 

If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left.

Um, probably try to spend as much time with Sarah as I could, I would kiss her and...tell her how much I love her. I’d play one last game of football with Jon, and I would have one last dinner with my mom and dad. 

What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death?

mmm I think that’s kind of a tough one. 

What three words best describe your personality?

- Defiant - Hotheaded - Quiet

What three words would others probably use to describe you?

Oh they have uh stupid, weird, freak......yeah. 

[nightklok]

Kloktober Prompt: Day 2-OTP & Favorite Character Whumptober Prompt: No 28: Mugged Pairing: Charles/Pickles Trigger Warnings: Character injury, blood, stabbing Summary: Set after Renovationklok. Charles asks Pickles out on a date in an attempt to pick up where they left off so many years ago. Unfortunately, the date becomes a disaster. 

A tad bit late as this turned out longer than I had expected (like all my future prompts most likely) but I had to do this for the OTP that has brought me the true comfort I needed this year- :’) Link to AO3 is in my reblogs but the story is down below as well!

Having Charles come back from the dead was...surprising. No, that didn't fit. But it was good enough of a word for Pickles to decide on without looking like a smartass. So yes, Charles coming back was in fact, a very surprising thing to happen. There was no real explanation as to why he had died but came back and there may never be one. Charles acted like his usual self and pretended such a thing never happened once he wore his usual suit after the performance. 

Though, to say that things went back to normal was a slight lie. Charles was more open to hanging out with them for once. And Charles even accepted the cheap beer Pickles offered when he found him alone. It felt like somehow that the walls that he had put up between them, personal and professional, had cracked just enough for sunlight to filter through. He even began hanging around with him a bit more often outside of work, something he only did sparingly. It was really only invitations to drink in his office but it felt nice. What was once hidden away by professionalism now turned into something else and it was actually nice to be able to hang out with him like friends again.

Pickles assumed that dying just meant he changed his mind or had a different perspective on things. Things like being professional around people he cared about must've been something he had reconsidered. His old friends that had almost overdosed once ended up turning their lives around because of 'their second chance of life.' But Charles didn't die of an overdose and had died doing something incredibly brave. Though, it did never really enter his mind that it meant their relationship actually going beyond friendship. That was something he had long since buried away with other memories that were hidden away to try to never think about.

He was wrong in that aspect, though. What was thought of as a wall with thin cracks was more of a wall slowly crumbling away to dust.

Pickles was alone in the dining room drinking black coffee when Charles found him. He was trying to figure out how the latest model of his Dethphone worked when he looked up to see Charles enter the dining room. He gave him a relaxed smile as he saw him. It felt exciting to see he was really alive every day, "Morning, chief."

Charles returned the smile, "Good morning, Pickles." He sat down next to him setting down his own cup of coffee, "What are you doing?"

"Trying to figure out this phone. I kinda miss the flip phone; it was much easier to deal with."

"Well, technology's advancing. Pretty soon you'll find that phone much easier to handle compared to a flip phone."

"I guess. It's moving too fast if you ask me," He answered before he gave up and set his phone down. He took a sip of his coffee as he looked at him, "So what are you gonna do today?"

"The usual paperwork and meetings. But that's not exactly important right now. I wanted to ask you something." 

"About what?"

Even though he had mentally rehearsed his lines many times, it still didn't mean he really was prepared to ask something that he would've normally never asked, "What are your plans tonight?" 

"Oh. Nothing, really."

There seemed to be a slight hesitation coming from him for just a moment. Whatever hesitation he had didn't show in his voice, "Then would you like to go out for dinner with me?" 

Pickles looked at him with an expression of utter bewilderment, "Wait, like on a date?"

"I suppose it could be if you wanted it to be."

He paused for a moment. Admittedly, he had always hoped something like this would happen but as the years went by and their popularity soared, it became nothing more than a dream. That dream was something that had always haunted him when Charles died and he was forced to live in regret that he didn't push their relationship to continue. Getting the opportunity again...felt almost too good to be true, "Are you serious?"

"I am serious about this, I swear. I'd just like to take you out somewhere, it doesn't have to be dinner."

"But are you sure? You said we couldn't do something like this because it wouldn't look good to the public."

"Well, I did say that when we were starting out with the band. I think by now it wouldn't exactly matter. You are part of the world's largest economy, after all. We will still need to take some precautions, of course, but I would like to try again with this. I want to make this up to you if you'd let me."

The idea of it was so inviting. He really wasn't quite sure what to say or do about it because he was sure that the appropriate answer would be to kindly reject him. Their relationship had been 'paused' for so long that it was hard to tell at what stage in the relationship they were in. But at the same time, it felt like some reward well deserved for being patient. Maybe most people wouldn't wait for so many years for a relationship to finally continue but he was part of a death metal band that had more money than first world countries combined, "Sure, I'd like to go out with you."

The date was, to put it lightly, a disaster.

They had started off at a fancy restaurant in England and that was the first mistake.

What turned into a fancy night of drinking expensive wine and food had turned into one of the arguments.

No one even knew who started what but it was clear the wine got to their heads and ended up releasing some pent-up frustration both had, whether for their relationship or something else.

"Hey, I wasn't the one who fucking played Jesus for nine months straight." Pickles said not even bothering to hide the anger in his voice, "How could you even think things will be fine after that stunt you pulled?"

"I can't exactly reveal everything without ruining everything I had to disappear for."

"Do you even trust me?"

"Of course I do-"

"Then why aren't you telling me a single truth?!"

"I just can't. Not right now. I promise-"

"Y'know what? Fuck you, and fuck this. I'm outta here." Pickles stormed out of the restaurant before their first course even arrived.

They had lasted half an hour which had to be some sort of record.

Admittedly, he didn't know the streets of London pretty well but he wasn't going to just turn back after making such a scene. Charles was a damn hypocrite and he had no idea how he could expect going out with him without bringing up that topic. It was probably the main reason he was asked out in the first place! 

The more he walked, the more foolish he felt. How foolish it was to think that things could return like they used to. He pulled out his phone and struggled to google local cab companies thanks to his blurred vision and the fact he still hadn't figured out how to work with his phone. He should've learned more on how to use it.

He didn't notice where he was going or noticed and ended up accidentally bumping into someone. He didn't say anything as he tried to continue walking but soon felt the tug of someone trying to take his phone.

"Just give me your phone."

"Get your fucking own."

"I said, give me your phone."

There was a struggle with his phone as he tried to pull it away from his robber's grip. They both had accidentally lost their grip at the same time and the phone quickly fell out of their grasp and tumbled to the street where it was immediately crushed by a car. There were pieces of the phone everywhere scattered around but it definitely didn't look like a phone anymore.

"Dude, you fucking owe me for that phone! It was a prototype!"

The man began to attack him, most likely to try and grab his wallet. He struggled and struggled against him until the man pulled out a pocket knife and he realized what was gonna happen.

Pickles could feel the robber stab his arm just as he managed to cover his face. It wasn't deep but it was enough for it to be lodged in and for the burning pain to quickly surface. It felt like someone lit his skin on fire and it was taking him everything to not cry out. He had to think quickly, and he was well aware that he could get stabbed somewhere more fatally. He quickly kicked him as strong as he could and pulled the knife out of his arm. Blood trickled faster down his arm now that he removed the only thing sealing his wound so maybe that wasn't a very good idea. 

He would worry about that later. For now, he had to find a way to fight off the attacker just enough for Charles or someone to come back. He quickly dodged the robber's punch and attempted to stab him only to quickly stumble and miss. With a shove, he quickly hit the hard concrete floor and lost his grip on the knife. He used his foot as the only barrier between him and his attacker as he tried to reach for the knife and dodge whatever punch was thrown at him. The moment he had a hold on the knife, he suddenly felt no weight on his foot and turned to see he was quickly shoved to the side. 

Luckily, Charles had managed to find him just in time. It took just one punch to the face to render him unconscious. He quickly sent a text to a klokateer to handle him while he went to Pickles' side, "Pickles, are you alright?" His eyes quickly looked at his arm, a small pool of blood was formed in the concrete from where he was stabbed. He cursed under his breath as he helped him sit up, checking his head to make sure he didn't hit his head upon impact.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine. Just got stabbed, is all. Not a big deal." He smiled though Charles didn't and instead focused on his injury.

"Are you hurt anywhere else?"

"Probably got a few scrapes from falling but I'm fine."

Charles looked at the wound though it was hard to determine how deep it was with the blood still pouring out. He took off his tie to tie it around his wound. He heard him wince in pain at the pressure but it was the only way to stop the bleeding. They had their own medical team but they wouldn't arrive until a long while later and he was worried that the stab was deeper than he could have anticipated, "Let's just get you to a hospital. I'll call a taxi."

As it turns out, it was deep and he required six stitches by the end of it. His pain tolerance was pretty high but he was warned to not try and do anything strenuous with that arm for a few weeks. Which meant another reason for the album to be delayed though even they knew that the album would've been delayed regardless of his injury.

Charles, naturally, was incredibly guilty. He didn't say anything when he was discharged from the hospital. He simply led them to where their private jet plane was waiting for them. He instructed the pilot to take them back

"Pickles, I'm so sorry," Charles said when they had a moment alone.

"It's okay. It wasn't your fault," He answered with a shrug. If he had felt pain, he would have winced but luckily he was given the highest dose of painkillers possible so as far as he was concerned, he didn't get stabbed at all. He didn't like how he didn't even feel high but he knew he was beyond the realm of FDA-approved painkillers to feel a thing besides what it was supposed to do. He opened the mini fridge the airplane had and took a can of beer for himself. He offered it to Charles who politely declined.

"But it is. I shouldn't have asked you out. This was a mistake for me to think that things would work out." 

That changed Pickles' mood completely enough to set his unopened can down, "What? You think a lil' stab wound is gonna break our relationship?"

"But I was with you-"

"And I was the one that left and made myself be alone. If anything, it's my fault."

"It isn't. It's my fault. I was stupid to think things could remain the same. Clearly, they haven't and I'm sorry for thinking they could and roping you into my foolishness."

"Hey, I said yes, didn't I? Don't you think there is a reason why I said yes to this date? Do I really need to spell it out for you?"

Charles fell silent. Of course. It didn't matter if it was foolish or not but the fact of it remained that they clearly had unresolved feelings for each other. Feelings that they were well aware of but afraid to act upon. Going on the date was only the tip of the iceberg of years of pent up feelings that only escalated.

And he fucking died for Christ's sake. And disappeared for nine months too. How could he think that things would be okay even if he planned everything by the book? He was with Pickles and he was as unpredictable as predictable could be.

He sighed as he leaned back against the seat, "This was a disaster of a date, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, no kidding."

"I know what you said at the restaurant was true and I admit you're right. I haven't been truthful and I'm sorry. But, please know that the reason is nothing but because I deeply care about you. I just want you safe and I couldn't even do that."

"I'm still mad," Pickles admitted as he looked at him. It was easy to see he was still a bit angry at him but there was another look to him, "But I know you wouldn't lie to me for no reason. I'll still be mad but I'll be over it. I just wish you would tell me something, is all."

"I know," he said softly, "I promise when I can, I will. But I promise I'll be honest about everything else."

"Okay. Then why did you ask me on this date?"

"I can't talk about what I did while I was gone. I can say, though, that I have thought of you and us and what could've been. I really missed you and I missed what we had. I guess I was just hoping too much that things could be back to normal but even I don't think that can be possible. It's been too long and we've been through so much. We can't go back to where we used to be."

"I know what you mean. I've been thinking a lot about you too when you died. I really missed you and just wished a lot of times that I could go back and at least tell you how I felt...but are you saying we should break up officially?" He couldn't hide the disappointment in his face and voice.

"No," He said quickly but quickly added on, "I mean unless you want to. I'm saying we should start over from the beginning. Try not to rush things, go on our own pace and see what happens."

"Do you wanna give this another shot?"

"Of course. Do you?"

"In a heartbeat. Then would you like to go out on a date with me? Forgetting the entirety of the last few hours, if you will."

Pickles laughed and nodded, "Yeah, I'd really like that. When do you wanna try again?"

"Whenever you'd like is fine with me, though a two-week notice would be appreciated."

He thought for a moment, "Well, are you doing anything tonight?"

"Not at all."

He knew at least one thing that could at least make their night end off on a high night, "We can try our date again tonight. Meet me at the library in half an hour when we get home."

Charles arrived at the library in exactly twenty-eight minutes. At Pickles' suggestion, he found a long sleeved shirt and his jacket to put on for warm clothing. It didn't take long for him to reach the empty library where the lights were completely off and it had created an almost eerie feeling. He had to hope that he wasn't just pulling some prank on him and decided to ditch him.

The door to the library eventually opened, Pickles arrived about five minutes later, also dressed in warm clothing and had a basket that contained snacks and wine, "Ready to go?"

"Go where?"

"I'll show you. Just follow me." He answered as he led him further down the library.

He admittedly never explored much of the library. He simply didn't have the time to explore everything Mordhaus had to offer. Now that he did, he could see how extensive the library was. Shelves upon shelves of books that nearly reached the ceiling were everywhere. They must surely have more books than what the Library of Alexandria had.

They reached the end of the library where there was a door off in a corner. It was a white door that contrasted the color scheme of the library but there was a nameplate beside it.

Observatory.

Pickles opened the door with one arm and had to use his body weight to push the incredibly heavy door further open. Charles helped him go in first before entering himself and realized that he never did visit the observatory in years. He must've gone with him once when Mordhaus was completely built and then never again. He found no reason to go back to a place that would constantly remind him of what could've been if he had chosen to stay in the relationship with him.

And maybe he still would think those things for a long time. Regret that they didn't continue and now have to start over from the beginning. First dates, kisses, and everything that they had gone through already. He wondered if things for them and the band would've been different had they stayed. Maybe they would've gotten married or maybe they would've waited or seen it as a waste of time. Maybe they would've been a power couple that would get widely accepted considering how unpredictable the audience. At least those answers would be answered now and in a way, it was exciting to get to start over and make things right.

He walked the long flight of spiral stairs with him, the sound of metal against shoes and their breaths was heard in the quiet observatory. The only source of light they had was a red light that only grew brighter until they finally reached the top. A large refractor telescope similar to any other observatory stood in the middle and looked rather well kept. He figured the reasoning being that he had to call upon astronomers to study the stars for any signs of the prophecy. He could read the stars, of course, but knew it wasn't his place.

Pickles seemed to know what to do as he warned him to not lean against the walls and pressed a button. The sound of metal clanking and rotating filled the air until the light from the night sky finally began filtering through. A breeze of cool air and the sound of cicadas and nature-filled the atmosphere now.

"Think we're too late to see if we can find a planet but we can just look at the stars." He spoke up as he looked up.

There was an endless amount of stars scattered across the sky. Even though he had looked at them various amounts of times, it never ceased to amaze him when he got a chance to just stop and look.

Pickles set a blanket down from the basket and sat down. Charles joined him and helped set out the snacks and wine that he had brought.

This time, it was different. There were no drunken arguments at a high scale restaurant or unresolved tension between them. It was as light and free as the stars scattered across aimlessly enough to create a clear image that things might turn out for the better for them. It turned from drinking and eating under the stars to lying down on the blanket, looking at the endless stars as they tried to make out each constellation. Charles wrapped an arm around and Pickles placed his head on his chest as they relaxed completely into the night. It almost felt like they had done stargazing for decades, never stop, and it was only another night for them. Maybe they really can work this out in the end with just a little work.

Things will be alright. One day it won't be and they'll have to analyze their relationship once again but that wouldn't happen for a while or as the stars had told Charles.

They can't focus on what was lost or what will be lost. They can only focus on what's going on at the moment. And at the moment, things are going to be okay.

[kotosnoozy]

a rite of passage

Unbeknown to both the general public and applicants alike, Saotome Academy’s S Class has an interesting unofficial tradition for the first day of school.

[DO NOT tag this with ship tags other than RinRyuu]

It's 11am when Mr Hyuuga first checks his watch.

Syo can't imagine anyone else notices - he wouldn't have if it were anyone else, it being such a small action and all. But sitting in this classroom with this teacher has been his dream for as long as he can remember, so now that he's finally here he can't help but be a little overzealous in taking everything in.

The morning's been chock full of introductory protocol - several lists of rules and regulations, a campus tour with the other class and the president of the agency, and a myriad of horrendously awkward ice-breaking activities. Throughout it all, Mr Hyuuga has been single-minded in his behaviour, keen to drill into all of them through his own actions that he won’t suffer tardiness, slacking or inattention.

Until this slight contradiction, anyway.

Syo thinks to treasure the moment - Ryuuya Hyuuga is a beacon of perfection in his mind, a marble Adonis brought to life, flawless in all his stalwart, brawny glory. To see him display even the slightest disregard to his own personal ethos is a rare reminder that he isn’t a god brought to earth, but a normal human being. A true fan knows they should appreciate their hero for all of their aspects, flaws and all, and so he takes the gesture in with a flicker of a smile and nothing more.

The second time it happens, merely 2 minutes later, it’s as Mr Hyuuga starts to worry his lip. When his brows furrow (further than their semi-permanent scowl, that is) Syo starts to suspect that it isn’t an endearing character flaw at all, so much as something isn’t running according to plan.

What, however, is impossible to say.

Mr Hyuuga has been on the ball with everything. Required textbooks, intranet logins and study guides have all been provided, desks have been triple checked for anything that might remain of the previous S Class. He’s even gone so far as to make sure they all have an alarm clock, or at least an app on their phones with a similar function, so there’s as small a chance as possible that they’ll be late. The entire morning has run like a well-oiled machine, exception being the human-spanner-in-the-works, President Saotome himself, but even he seemed to avoid letting his antics run on too long for fear of Mr Hyuuga’s wrath.

Syo can’t help but let his eyes dart around the room for what might be perturbing him. The desks are orderly, no bags falling in the aisle, not a uniform out of place--

Other than, of course, that of Ren Jinguji a row or two back. His tie hangs loose around his neck, and he sprawls in his chair lithely, elegant in his feigned nonchalance. All that gives away his lackadaisy as a farce are the buttons of his shirt, popped to expose his entire chest - Syo’s fairly certain he’d started the day with the shirt fully buttoned, and had loosened one for each irritated click of their teacher's tongue (what a jackass). 

Jinguji’s brow slips as he looks at him, angular face twitching into a microscopic scowl. He feels himself tense, worried he’s already managed to draw the scorn of arguably the most influential boy in his year. 

Then his eyes flicker, just for a second, from him to their teacher, accompanied by a slight head tilt. The bold blue of his eyes seems to hold a question: ‘What’s up with him?’

Syo feels himself beginning to scowl too, lips drawing into a thin line. He shakes his head quickly - ‘I don't know.’ - as Mr Hyuuga checks his watch for a third time, running a hand through his hair as he continues to read.

Jinguji stares at Syo for a long second, eyes narrowed, before pursing his lips. His mind seemingly made up, he swings his chair back forward onto all four legs, jostling his desk so hard that he knocks Saotome’s golden boy Ichinose forward into his own desk. Ichinose’s head whips around, furious, as the other boy raises his hand to get Mr Hyuuga’s attention.

Their teacher doesn’t manage to finish his sentence, let alone ask his new student what he wants - Jinguji quickly makes it apparent that he doesn't care enough for manners to wait a mere five seconds.

“Mr Hyuuga, why d’you keep checking your watch so often? Seems a little hypocritical to be so impatient for lunch after the constant warnings about inattentiveness, don’t you think?”

The tension in the room skyrockets as perfect silence falls over the class. Syo catches his own horrified expression reflected in the face of the girl sitting behind Ren - his indignation, too, as both of them mentally debate with themselves whether or not to throttle the older boy for interrupting the Ryuuya Hyuuga. Even Ichinose's temper (already famous among the students after how harshly he'd addressed his new roommate at breakfast that morning) diminishes considerably, as he warily turns back to face the front of the room.

Vibrant amber eyes flick up from the book they’re reading from. The way they assess Jinguji over the top of oval frames is more than a little nerve-wracking.

Then he sighs.

Any menace to his demeanour vanishes with his breath, his head lolling back and redirecting his gaze ceiling-ward. 

“Sorry,” he says, sounding sheepish of all things, “I’m just… a little worried is all. He’s normally so timely...”

The confusion among the class is practically audible. The orientation timetable they’d been handed that morning has nothing else scheduled ahead of lunch, no implication of further visitors. And Ryuuya Hyuuga doesn’t do surprises, especially not on the first day of semester.

(Or so Mr Tsukimiya had been faux-whispering during the campus tour, trying to get a rise out of his… friend? Boyfriend? Whatever. That was a question for later.)

“I’m sorry, sir,” - Ichinose, unexpectedly, raises the question on everyone’s mind - “but I don’t believe we have anything else scheduled ahead of lunch?”

They all jump as Mr Hyuuga unexpectedly barks a laugh.

“Lucky you,” he says, smiling wryly. His eyes skim the face of his watch yet again.

“I, however, am not so fortunate.”

Jinguji, clearly done with Mr Hyuuga’s coy responses, leans forward over his desk in a pointedly accusatory manner.

“I’m sorry, sir, but what the fu--”

“RYUUYA, YOU MOTHERFUCKER, TODAY’S THE DIE YOU FINALLY DIE!!!”

A mass of hot pink barrels through the open window at mach speed, colliding with Mr Hyuuga with such force that his entire desk goes sprawling. Students shriek as their teacher falls to the floor amidst his scattered books and papers, flailing beneath another almost-equally-large figure.

It’s hard to see the features of the attacker, amidst what quickly turns into a wrestling match, other than a tangle of chartreuse hair and the feral snarl of their teeth. Their movements are vicious, fists swinging at Mr Hyuuga like they want to smack his jaw clean from his head. Fortunately, their teacher is no pushover.

He grabs his assailant’s fists cleanly before they make contact, bringing his knee up swiftly into their gut. There’s an ‘oof’ as they crumble, and Mr Hyuuga takes the opportunity to roll them over so he has the advantage.

“I almost thought you weren’t going to show,” he hisses through gritted teeth, struggling with the exertion of keeping the wriggling person down. The person below him practically growls in frustration, biceps rippling as they start to struggle against him anew. Their sheer muscle seems to catch Mr Hyuuga off-guard, years-practised technique failing to hold up as he’s shoved from his triumphant throne on their stomach. They sit up almost as quickly as Mr Hyuuga drops, grappling him by his stomach.

“And I thought you kept sayin’ you wasn’t interested in fighting me to the death, and yet--”

Mr Hyuuga shrieks uncharacteristically, and there’s a flash of yellowed teeth contrasted against his dark suit jacket as his legs thrash wildly. By now, the more frail students in the class are trying to get as far away as possible from the brawl on the floor (the door clicking shut alerts Syo that some brave soul has gone to find help too). Medically speaking, Syo should probably consider himself amongst their number, and also retreat to a sensible distance. And yet… he just can’t pass up the opportunity to watch his idol fight for real (no matter how much it’s starting to resemble eight-year-old kids scrapping in the playground)

“I’m NOT interested in fighting you to the death--!!” Mr Hyuuga shouts, tone strangely childish, as he shoves at the person’s head. With considerable effort, he manages to prise their jaw open and away from his flank, only for them to double down and bite his thumb instead. He swears loudly, letting go lightning fast. He shoves his undamaged hand against the side of their head, directing their teeth away from him, though it does nothing to loosen the grip of their fuschia-clad arms around his middle.

“Oh, stop bein’ such a pussy and fight me properly!!”

“Yamato, this is a school for heaven’s sake, could you mind your langua--!!”

“Oh fuck off, you swore like two seconds ago, you fuckin’ hypocri--!!”

“Yams.”

The two on the floor freeze as every student’s head whips to the front of the room. In the doorway stands Mr Tsukimiya, his expression the blankest Syo’s ever seen on him (and with him so frequently paired with Mr Hyuuga, he’s seen him in a lot of stuff). He starts to stride purposefully into the room, each click of his heels against the wooden floor making everyone jump.

The A class students are clamoring in the doorway for a better look at what’s happening - Natsuki towers over everyone else, face aghast and hands over his mouth, while Ichinose’s red-headed roommate tries to protect a smaller girl from being squashed by the pushing masses (and squashing the Hijirikawa heir, of all people, in the process). Jinguji’s expression has slowly transformed to one of pure glee as events have progressed, while Ichinose looks like he might be nursing a migraine - judging by the look on Mr Tsukimiya’s face, the pain will probably be getting worse before it gets better.

He’s only a short man. A few inches taller than Syo himself at best, even with his heels on. The assailant must have at least half a foot on him, and is definitely twice as broad, and Mr Hyuuga is taller still. But at this moment, the two giants on the floor are meek as mice in the face of Shining Agency’s cutest idol. 

“Rin--”

“Shut up.”

His tone is dagger sharp as he cuts off the green haired person. He neatly squats down to their eye level, hands folded delicately over his knees.

“Now then. What, exactly, do you think you’re doing?”

Two pairs of wide amber eyes blink up at him.

“Well?”

“I was just--”

“C’mon, Rin, y’know I fuckin’ ha--!!”

“He does this every semester, I can’t stand here and let him--!!”

“Well you have it comin’, just stood there with your dumb hair n’ your stupid glasses--”

“Oi, what’s wrong with my hair, you little shi--!”

“Ha! There ya go again! Don’t care that much that we’re in a school, do y--!”

“ENOUGH!!”

Mr Tsukimiya’s prim posture vanishes, shoulders dropping as he leans into their personal space (‘YAKUZA SQUAT’ screams Syo’s mind, as the threatening aura of the petite man forces him to take a step back). The volume of his voice diminishes considerably, leaving every student desperately straining to hear what he says.

“This is the sixth year running this has happened. Every fucking year I have to come and clean up this mess. And sure, the first three years it was pretty funny. The fourth time still got a giggle out of me when you managed to pants each other,” - at this, they both flush the colour of Mr Tsukimiya’s shoes - “but I told you last year that I had had enough. So why the fuck am I here again this year?”

They both swallow nervously.

“Yamato.”

The assailant flinches.

“Y-yessir.”

“I don’t care how much you hate him, do not attack him during school hours. You’re putting the students in danger and your own career in jeopardy, if the reporters catch you skulking about.”

In an instant their shoulders sink, expression like that of a chastised puppy. 

“And Ryuuya.”

Mr Hyuuga sucks his cheeks in nervously.

“If you know he comes at 11 like clockwork every year, then why the fuck don’t you just close the window?!”

‘Yamato’ snorts, sharp teeth flashing for the briefest moment.

“Yeah, Ryuu, you fuckin’ dolt-- AUGH!!”

Mr Tsukimiya seizes him by the earlobe and pulls his head sharply.

“I don’t know what you’re laughing at, young man. You’ve got a lecture on music theory to sit through.”

“Wait, what--OW OW OW GEROFF!!”

Merciless, Mr Tsukimiya stands swiftly, dragging the taller man up with him. His class scrambles away from the door and back across the hall as he marches from the room, ignoring Yamato’s complaints and pleas for freedom. He toes the door shut without so much as a glance backwards, and the room falls into a stunned silence.

Mr Hyuuga pulls himself up with a grunt, clutching his bitten flank, and retrieves his glasses from where they’ve fallen by Ichinose’s surprisingly unmoved desk. With them placed firmly back on the bridge of his nose, he goes about wordlessly rearranging the room to its former pristine state, pulling his desk back upright with some effort. The students quickly move to help him, gathering his scattered papers and books, and adjusting their own desks one by one. Through it all, Jinguji sits back in his seat with a bewildered yet overjoyed smile - a cat who got the cream - while Ichinose himself looks confused about just what sort of school he’s signed up for.

Syo moves to the front of the room and wordlessly closes the open window.

When everything is orderly once more, everyone returns to their seats. Mr Hyuuga stands in-front of his newly righted desk and leans back against it, arms folded. His posture would seem terrifying were it not for the slight flush of his cheeks, the bashful set to his mouth. 

He looks at each of them in turn, seemingly daring them to raise a question about the events that just transpired. When no one speaks, he simply picks up his book, flips a few pages and begins to read anew.

Not a single sentence is completed before Syo hears the telltale shifting of fabric that accompanies a raised hand.

“Sir, what the fuck just happened?”

“Detention, Jinguji.”

“Wha--?!”

The bell rings. Lunchtime.

“None of you are ever to mention this again. Class dismissed.”

i said this in group chat:

and then immediately went off the rails and wrote this

you're welcome