#ask me to draw an actual person? fuck no
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the extent of my contributions to dbda fanart:
#doodling is as good as i get#ask me to draw an actual person? fuck no#i can just about manage a side profile#so tiny ghosties it is#and even this was inspired by a ghost sticker i saw on pinterest 😭😭#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#charles rowland#payneland
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pygmalion and galatea for aroace people
you should tell your friends what I look like, riz gukgak.
#fantasy high#fantasy high sophomore year#fhsy#riz gukgak#baron from the baronies#fh class quangle#class swap babeyy! bard!riz that's whats goin on!#I really need tags for these now I think lmao#ask to tag#I feel like this should be tagged something. but I dont know what#in my brain after the initial kidnapping class swap baron's thing is every time riz keeps his story abt them up in front of his friends#they get a little bit closer. they send him pictures of where they supposedly are n stuff#theres a scene in my brain only of kristen and riz on top of the van and kristen is like everything kinda sucks rn can u tell me abt baron#cause what you guys have is so nice and beautiful. and riz almost doesn't but he ultimately can't deny kristen a little peace#lmao I feel like dipping into baron stuff with the class swap is like showing my whole ass online again I just. I'm a#horror person before all else... I cant stop myself. canon baron is Great and Cool but that is kind of the thing. for a horror thing theyre#Too Cool. I think cool is kind of the neutralizer of scary. when a monster is a certain amount of cool it overrides the scary#and now u just have a Cool Monster#its so fucked for bard!riz this year bc he doesn't have an office (he's mooching off the school wifi from the AV club room lol)#so there's no buffer between adventure and home life. so baron just shows up in the strongtower apartment lmao#sophomore year bard!riz looks like a slasher protag so I just leaned into it I guess. he gets a mr. x if mr. x is made up by leon kennedy#well. its worse actually. they can show up where he is at any moment theyve proven this. but they dont#they choose to punish him slowly as he lies to his friends instead. baron is mr. x if mr. x is made up by leon and also a bitch#I think its gonna pop up if class swap baron ever speaks in a comic I do but their voice comes from like. inside their hollow face#it sounds like it's a lot deeper in there than that skull should be#tbh what I have rn is kinda like a bag of loose pieces that Can fit together into something great but I dont have the energy to#really sit down with them yet lol. Im doing this inbetween other things#it comes or it doesn't! it's fine. funny how today's bad comic day also. I wont say this is for bad comic day bc all my comics are#flawless and beautiful and perfect and awesome and beautiful and the best#but u should. if u havent drawn a comic today or at all ever u should draw a comic
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Detroit Become Human and why does this game decide that the problem in society is individual people treating androids poorly because those androids are choking them out of the workforce and NOT the corporations and governments who deliberately designed the androids to do this
#AUGHHGHH#I promise you dbh is still one of my favourite games I really do#But ohhhhhhhjghh my GODDDD it makes me mad#Like ESPECIALLY this year. With artists and writers being so fucked by ai#Like the game has less than no sympathy for people who were screwed over by cyberlife deciding their labour wasn't worth anything#Like everybody has to be a strawman. Everybody has to be the violent 'android bad because (some vague reason that draws on the#'immigrants are stealing our jobs' line despite the fact that these things aren't equivalent at all)#Like yes. Robots being placed in positions where a real human would be paid a real wage to do that job is bad. This is a bad thing#But the game. Does not CARE#It's so morally neutral for cyberlife to be allowed to mass produce androids in the middle of a poverty epidemic that they created#It's fine! Says Detroit Become Human because everyone rendered homeless or struggling by this company's actions is a violent drug addict#Or something#It's like HUH#H U H#This game was so enamoured with it's weird bad civil rights allegory that it forgot that people do actually need jobs to uh. Pay to live#Because things are hell#And I think it could've been SO much better if the game acknowledged this AS WELL as acknowledging that no android chose this#Like a fresh deviant didn't ask to cause a real person to not have a job. The company who made them did#But dbh doesn't care. Cyberlife is morally neutral in this. I swear#Loses my mind this game is such a mess#Uhhh if anyone's reading this please don't get mad at me I promise I do really love this game. Like this game is the reason I#Met the love of my life. I am physically incapable of hating this game#I just think it's so worth discussing the ways it fails in (what I think is) a constructive manner#detroit become human#game analysis#I guess#If anyone has any contributions or disagrees with me I would LOVE love to hear. Genuinely I love talking about things like this#Essay in tags
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Josie Pinup for @thedeafprophet ;) (full nudity below the cut)
i think october wants her cloak back josie 🤭
(based on this:)
#(yes i can draw legs properly HOWEVER josie has EDS so i wanted to have her hyper-extending the one knee because. she deserves to be#seen as pretty Including her bendy joints damnit!!!!!!!)#anyways#phantom of the opera moments much josie? my my#you guys would not BELIEVE how my phone has SLAUGHTERED this piece in particular!!! i can't even do my normal little photo app editing trick#(telling my phone to use the 'enhance' or 'contrast' settings :( )#like. in person josie is super super smeared and washed out in her reflection! but october is actually only a tiny bit smeared and not#washed out at all! so she Sticks Out a lot!!! because she's a parabolan ghost with a lot of parabolan power mastery and i wanted her to seem#... Disturbingly Tangible#but my phone picks up on fucking NONE of that#and yet somehow it's picking up and EMPHASIZING all this white texture and spotting that is legitimately Barely Visible in person#and like. her stretch marks are nowhere near as bright!! they're nice and natural looking i prommy#and it's over-emphasizing the lightness of her palms too aaaaaaaa#anyways. I'm crying over how my phone just. murders my art for funsies. waugh#please please please i promise it looks a thousand times better in person 😭😭😭#her face too :(#alas alas.#dye stained art#suggestive#also tmblr don't kill me this is a fuckung pinup. artistic nudity. aaa#sometimes i will just draw ocs naked for stress relief!!! because i like how bodies are shaped#hnnnnnng gold ink <3#mirrors#ask to tag#others ocs#josie
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it's been a while since I last asked about Jean! you can skip if some of these you've answered already <3
7) Vice-Versa! If your OC is in the modern day, what fantasy class would they be? Would they be a different race? (Or more specifically, could you tell us more about Jean's TSOT alter ego?)
12) Does your OC interact with other people's OC? If so, who's their best OC friend?
Yoooooooou! You make my heart so happy! I wanna spoil you!! 💝
Hey real quick!! If I tagged you, please feel free to ignore this! Don't read it if you don't want to! Question 12 involves credit where credit is due!
7) Vice-Versa! If your OC is in modern day, what fantasy class would they be? Would they be a different race?
So when I think about TSOT stuff I honestly use D&D rules because that's what I grew up on as a kid! When I first made Jean I thought about her being a Tiefling Bard! But dude, Jimmy is the best bard in all of the kingdoms!
So I scrapped it and had a really fun idea as I was writing up my Fantasy stuff for SP. Jean is the Black Knight! I love, love Authurian legend and I couldn't resist making a nod to one of my favorite video game characters! Zelgius from Fire Emblem had the coolest armor and story! (Huge info dump ahead, I'm so sorry)
So, if they're just kids being kids: Jean loved the fact that most of the girls were the knights! Wendy with the battle maiden looking absolutely fire! But, it was kind of boring that Clyde was the only "bad guy". So she decided to dress as the mysterious black knight. Every time her friends would get together to play, she would find a reason to be like "Awh sorry guys, I got stuff to do today!" Or pretend to be sick!
Then, when everyone else was busy with their games, deep in their battles. She's show up covered head to toe in a black motorcycle helmet, a black battle vest (she probably picked up from Jimbos after begging him to help her.), black pants, and black boots. (You get the point.) She orders a sword and a cape from party city or some silly shit and just shows up.
While she wears the costume, she keeps her mouth shut. She goes out of her way to be as mysterious as possible and dramatically makes a show of fighting the others. If she's losing, she'll find a way to make the other person look cool but make a grand escape! She picks up this persona just to make everyone else look cool because she knows she looks like an edgy asswipe! Kids being kids, right?
BUT THE AU! OH THE AU!
I rambled before that I love Cowboys, but I move fantasy stuff so much!
So we still go with the black knight angle! But before that she was a royal knight to The Grand Wizard! Fought side by side with Butters the Merciful! Brothers-in-arms with Ser Clyde and Ser Tolkien! A circle of knights who swore to do right by the human kingdoms.
Then, the war happens over that damn artifact. It's power tempting both the elven and human men. Battle after battle begins to wear her down. She starts to lose the will to find good in what she does. When the ground becomes soaked with the blood of soldiers throwing themselves into her blade, and for what? For power? Power they'll never see? All because some men who already hold enough power told them to?
It breaks her.
So she comes home to that found family and gets into a fight before the Grand Wizard and her brothers. Not one of steel like she's so used to. Instead, the Grand Wizard brands her a traitor and casts her out so she's forced to leave.
Stripped of her name, her brotherhood, her honor.
Something about that sends her spiraling. The isolation sends her into one of the great forests where she's decided that's what she'll protect. She'll live there and those woods will be hers. Because at least she was good at that.
There, she protects people who want nothing to do with the war. The little people caught in the middle. If people think to bring the war into her woods, she dons the armor, the two-handed silver sword, and becomes the weapon she was so good at being.
She slowly stops being Jean Wellman and more of a weapon. Even a broken sword is at least useful. A broken human? Not so much.
Still edgy? Yes. Do I eat that shit up? Oh, absolutely.
I end it there because I like to leave it open for other characters' influence! That includes other ocs!
12) Does your OC interact with other people's OC? If so, who's their best OC friend.
Oh! Oh! I love this question!! Because that means I get to brag about others!
Real talk! I get super nervous talking to people about Jean! There's this part of me that finds it so...selfish? But I want to hear everything about other people's! And if they want to talk about how their OC would interact with mine? Oh my heart!!
@lulu24784 was the first person to interact with me when it came to our blorbos! She drew this beautiful piece of Jean and Lulu when we first started talking that is still my iPad background! It brings me so much joy when I look at it!
She drew them with the friendship bracelet and I made it canon! In every picture, where it makes sense, she's got the bracelet on. It's on that wrist forever. I have these little thoughts of Jean showing up in her flower shop and spending hours just yapping and playing soft music on her guitar while she watches her friend move around doing her day to day. Her favorite thing to do is to put on some music and try to coax Lulu into dancing with her. Seeing someone you adore be good at the thing they're good at makes her so very happy.
That leads to her maybe stepping on the poor girls feet because she's a big, clumsy idiot. Especially because of their height difference, but any chance to be close with someone who means so much to her.
That leads to some pretty confusing feelings for Jean later on, but at the end of the day, she knows she loves Lulu and wants her happy!
Another person who Jean is close to is Morgan! @tinyalcoholicwitch is my best friend irl! I met her back when I was twelve and we've been friends ever since! We've bounced from Fandom to Fandom together and she bravely tried to follow me here! So she made the gorgeous Morgan for Jean to have as a friend! Jean loves her bestie so very much!
She also drew me a beautiful piece that is my laptop background! Because my friends inspire me and it makes me want to be better!
Jean and Morgan got into piercings around the same time, so they got their face piercings together. Jean immediately made the "joke" of kissing, and they would lock together like puzzle pieces. Jean's favorite thing to do with her is to crawl into her window late at night. Yes, she could have taken the front door, but that would have woken Morgan's mom, and that's rude! So she crawls in and spends hours with her, most times spending the night. She has to be picking Morgan up or holding her every chance she can get! Morgan is a huge reason why Jean stays so fit, so she can carry her favorite princess like she deserves!
And you know she would adore Anh! We haven't talked much but from what you've posted about her, I know Jean would think she's the coolest person ever! 🫶
#south park#south park oc#sp oc#my oc stuff#jean wellman#oc ask prompts#oh god dude#i yapped too much#I'm so sorry!!#I'm also sorry for the tags!#I just want to give art credit where credit is due!!#both Lulu and my Tiny Alcoholic Witch are so talented!#oc art#not my art!#i love you art person#I still squeal when I see these pieces#I have a lot more thoughts but like I said#i get embarrassed because i never want to cross a line#or get annoying#i wanna let you know tag readers#you could never bother me#and if you make a headcanon for Jean#I'll sob and probably make it canon#my dms and inbox are always open for that reason!#Also I'm actually working on Jean's TSOT outfit!#armor is just really fucking hard to draw#and I'm stupid
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egodeath: the disappearance of one's sense of self, or the removal of one's ability to distinguish themselves as an entity separate from their social or physical environment.
#shook arts#oc shiz#takoshi (oc)#i told you you wouldn't be able to guess why he was so happy#i feel like i may need to give context for this#bc i've only briefly touched upon takoshi's over reliance on masking as a coping mechanism#as well as how he feels as if he has to conform to the expectations of others even if that means acting like a different person entirely#but also. idk man i think it kinda speaks for itself#now if someone were to *ask* me to go further into it then ofc i would :] but#for now i think i'm just gonna let the art speak for itself#also sorry not sorry about the next few drawings also probably being less goofy and more serious#i've had some cool ideas i wanna see if i can pull off#tbh getting to like. actually draw and not just do character refs constantly has been nice :]#and now that the creative juices are flowing it's so jover. i will never shut up about these two sorry (not)#oh yeah also. ik some of the proportions are kinda fucked up but uh consider#i don't really care enough to fix it#like this isn't something i'm trying to spend 8 hours on lol it doesn't have to be perfect :]
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One thing I love, and that is pretty distinctive about your art, is the proportions of your figures. None of your characters are supermodel thin. They look like they eat meals that will allow them to fight crime without fainting.
I do need to get better at drawing a wider variety of body shapes as I do tend to favour the one body that I personally find easiest to draw
#ask#anon#I need to get more confident drawing actual plus size people#It's just I'm also not exactly skinny#So if people start being fat phobic in my notes then that's actually gonna hit a nerve with me personally you get me#Now I'm just thinking about that artist a while back#Who did a tutorial on how to draw fat people#And all their examples were like skinner then I draw my average character#Fucking hilarious
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me when i write a character who is prone to dooming themself and then they run off and doom themself. core traits are stubbornness and a willingness to disregard their own humanity gET BACK HERE IM NOT DONE WITH YOU
#rambling#surprisingly this is not about jakob.. im just really consistent about my favorite character archetypes 😭😭#WARNING THE NOTES ON THIS ARE REALLY LONG I STARTED RAMBLING#“ouhh i have a headache i'll just lie down and rotate my blorbos in no general direction for a while until it goes away” and then boom.#serious plot considerations. 2 questions answered 24million new questions raised. this is specifically Not what i asked for.#so now im sitting here STILL dizzy running mental calculations on how i can get this bitch out of peril without reworking everything#but they literally keep dying in every timeline 😭😭 every single plausible road leads to them running off and screwing themself over#“character who doesn't realize they want to live until it's way too late to look back” VS#“character who is forced to live and handle the things they never though they'd survive long enough to deal with” FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT.#fucking hell i have never had this much trouble writing a character as i have with them#they genuinely do just run off and do shit without my permission and then i have to pace for an hour or two wondering#“ok they wOULD do that. but should they. do i feel like i can confidently write that.”#im like constantly in this tug of war trying to get them to CHILL#but also they are absolutely my favorite character from the entire project. but like. FUCK GET BACK HERE#is death the most satisfying end to this arc? is someone who was Set on dying then NOT dying the most satisfying end to the arc?#how many bridges can you burn until you irreparably set yourself aflame too?#would ghost or revival plotline work?? would it make sense with the worldbuilding??#do i just Like Them enough to want them to not die?? where do i draw the line between personal bias and a good arc?#is death not feeling as impactful as survival solely because i've been writing for so long that it's lost the initial impact?#and other such plot considerations...#im gonna have such an easy time writing another character though 😭😭 because THAT character's dynamic in the second act#is to stare at character 1 and be like “why are you like this. i mean i know Why but can you chill. please.” and like damn bro me too#actually wait no i think kaey.a is the hardest character i've ever written i take it back#had to worry about his 20million facades AND his Actual feelings AND canon compliance. shit is hard#i still havent finished the k/aeya fic i started back when the chasm first released which is uhh. two years ago. oops.#i think i struggle writing emotionally repressed liars i think thats what this is 😭😭 anyways.#(voice of guy who has been obsessed with nonlinear narratives and tragedies for several years):#“is it too much to kill this character in a nonlinear exploration game with tragic elements”#like bitch what are you talking about 😭😭 YOU'RE the target audience here figure it out#sorry the notes on this are just my writing journal now apparently
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HOI im still on the ground crying and gazing at ur art ;w;w;w; but i wanted to ask if it's alright if i link ur art in the notes of grapevine!!! 🧡🧡
Haha, yes of course!! I'd be honored beyond measure ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊˚
Im happy you liked the drawings. I heard so many horror stories about authors randomly blocking and ignoring fan artist and that's why it took me so many years to actually draw fanart for something. But your fic just-- ugh. I HAD to! So thank you for giving me the boost to overcome that little fear :))
#Random fact nobody cares about:#Leokumi was the first actual ship that I actually#You know#Shipped#After playing thru all 3 Fates versions I came to the conclusion that they were literally the only 2 characters I could get behind#Do you guys remember the whole 'blame takumi' meme? What a wild time#Made me kind of stupid for being like yeah actually takumi is the only person to have a reasonable response to corrins shenanigans?#Like dude had actual depression and people blamed him for not being in corrins lil harem from the get go#But that's a whole different topic#I just wanted to say that leokumi was my start into having an OTP and its very fitting that they were the ones to overcome my fanart fear#ANOTHER FUN FACT NO ONE ASKED FOR:#I went to an art school here in Germany and I applied with a portfolio of classical drawings and I'm not kidding#Leokumi was a part of that portfolio#A big watercolor and charcoal drawing of them fighting#So yeah I have a big big soft spot for them especially#(and like every good German art student I dropped out of art school) - (didn't start a fucking war about it tho)#fire emblem#leokumi#Asks
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i'm sorry to all the projects i never finished because i was too depressed and once i was back i simply couldn't be assed anymore every time this happens a little bit of creativity dries up in me and i just can't jump back in again hope you understand
#🧅#goodbye goodbye dolokhoded bible and wicked little town you were bigger than the whole sky#if i ever draw again i might finish the designs ?#it doesn't help that nobody really cares about this one either. not in a bad fuck you guys way just in a. their personalities are completel#made up by me and to get people invested i have to actually POST ABOUT THEM way#cause like with wicked little town i think i squeezed out a couple chapters more than i normally would because the dps fandom was asking#me to. i didn't have to actually work to get people invested in those characters because the reason they were reading it in the first place#was that they already liked them.#still never finished it. went back at some point earlier this year and i was like 'this was a good concept i should finish it!'#but then i didn't
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#remind me to never ask my mother for opinions on absolutely anything ever again#i only wanted to see which illustration should go on my portfolio for kidlit art#and her wonderful opinion was to take out an illustration of two dudes EATING TOGETHER because and i quote#"gay relationships are not suitable for children books. it simply isn't their target audience''#does she need the list of the thousand of books that are literally about gay couples or about gay kids?!#they're not even like overtly gay they are literally eating together!!! (sure it is actually gay cause it's fanart of a bl but whatever lol#it's literally two guys sitting at the same table eating...#how is that not appropriate for children?!#also even if they were gettin married or whatever... how's that inappropiate?!#ALSO also i'm sick of reading in every illustration agency how they're looking for artists and writers and whatever who tackle queer storie#like sure i'm not gonna say gay people don't experience discrimination but it's not the fucking 50s... there are opportunities out there#idk i'm just so fuckin upset right now because she's saying I'M the one that's taking it bad#like the whole ''i'm not homophobic but.... blah blah''#and it drives me up the fucking walls to have to deal with this when the only thing i wanted was to have a char about which drawing looks#the best for a professional portfolio lol#anyways now out of fucking spite i'm gonna send all the gay ones i have lol#dkfjhkdfg#angel talks#personal#wish me luck on this email btw i need work!#dfkjghdfg
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It's 2024 can we please stop saying it's normal to trace or copying an entire drawing and pretending it's 100% your work? Just bc you changed the character or added clothes on a base you found on pinterest it doesn't mean you created original art
#wren text tag#tw: vent#like tracing and copying are morally grey. If you want to trace to learn stuff or practice or study it's ok ig#maybe don't post it online or if you have to... don't trace from picture/other people artworks/bases you found online w/o giving credits#unless it's a base an artist made specifically for tracing purposes#I think this depends on where you draw the line bc I'm much more strict abt copying/tracing from art rather than photographs 🤔#at least with photos you have to do some mental exercise for your mucle memory + simplification studies#personally I don't like tracing bc it feels lazy like are you a copyprinter 😐🤨#this vent needs some lore otherwise this looks so fucking umpromted it's almost confusing 🙄🙄🙄#kinda found out sb who was copying or tracing both from fucking pose references from Pinterest and other people artworks 😅#like poses ref ig they are ok but you should check the Terms of Condition of the original artist first. For the artworks plagiarized. DUDE#surprised no one has found out yet but if I see another copied drawing my netiquette is leaving my body and I'm turning into a HATER#or another comment like “omg your poses looks so dynamic”. I'm flying#btw I blocked them so my dash is free. Sadly we are also in the same disc server so I'm kinda cooked#thinking of leaving it so I don't have to start drama and discussions. I'm not a fan of call-out and stuff and if I can avoid it I will#btw I say copied/traced bc some are traced over while others are hopefully just eyeballed. What bothers me is the amount of plagiarized art#like almost half of those fanarts are copied poses. The other half are character standing on a white bg. I hope those aren't copied as well#it's already bad... but if only was just for the bases. That one traced artwork can almost be damaging to the fanbase reputation 🤦♀️ smh#there are only a few artist in that part of the fandom I don't need an art thief drama. I guess I will shut up and look away 😑#anyway that's the lore which didn't help with my Art Block. Actually it made worse. That's why it took me so long to be back lol 🤣😂😭#pov: you log on tumblr 🥰 and you have an art crisis 😍#Are u telling me I could have done that? Copying and tracing and taking all the credits instead of wasting time learning anatomy?! 🤯#Ok the last tag was sarcastic but wouldn't be funny. Loved vagueposting tho 💖🥰#And now that this post is published I can finally rest. I had this thing in drafts since September#To whom is asking about who this person is. I won't tell. I just want to forget what I saw. Ty and bye 💖✨️
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So, Jess I know you’re not an artist like your bestie in the entire world snap… but what does your art look like I remember you doodled this little pic for me of Tien with Choatzu’s make up lol but have you’ve drawn anything else?
Ya
#i draw a lot i just dont post it all the time bc well... sometimes i dont like em sometimes i forget sometimes its just a personal lil thing#i havent painted for months bc i lost my paints but Snap actually bought me some replacements for my birthday the other day so 🫶#maybe i'll try and paint daigo or somethin and post it sometime soonish#in his honour#or maybe Tsutumi bc i like his face it might be fun to do................#or another baba since i sure like daito#or maybe i will just continue doin the boys from my REDACTED group lioe i have been the past few months#i have done haruka and majima but i couldnt find the posts in my tag and im dying of a flu or maybe covid (real not clickbait)#so i dont feel like gettin up n goin on my computer. i mostly had to screenshot these from insta lol#but yeah. i do also do stuff :)#ask#also yeah we made exactly 5 days into the year before my body decided to fuck me over so uhhhhhhh bodes well#genuinely feel like ive been hit by a truck and i have such a bad headache still havent played gaiden 😭#also why does answering on tumblr mobile app lately be so weird ???#like freezes the app keeps reloading cant look at notifs til i close it and reopen ? anyone else have that issue
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Hey Matt how's life been for ya my dude?
~ fan-mans
Not the best at the moment. I know I said that last time we chatted but it somehow gotten even more downhill from there lol.
The only positive I’ll say is that my girlfriend spent the night this past week and we had a lot of fun together. We mostly just fucked around in my room and played Roblox lol. We had a hella good time though and we're planning on watching movies and shows together through Discord (I’m gonna force her to watch the best video game movie adaptation of all time: Street Fighter: The Movie)
But aside from that I just been getting sick left and right andddd been dealing with a shitty family situation for the past couple of months that I keep fighting with my parents about. Yeee. Of course theirs a bunch of little shit piles that when piled together make a giant mountain of shit lol.
And- wait holy shit is that-
A MOTHER FUCKIN MUDSKIPPER SORRY CHARLIE ASK CANCELED FOR THESE MUDSKIPPERS
#not art#mudskippers are so cool I had to included them in the ask#the ‘family situation’ is actually been taking a big toll on me#physical I’m fine but mentally holy fuck it was bloody terrifying#and I’m just kinda pissed and confused about how I’m the only person who feels like that#it just could’ve taken a super bad turn and no one is even concerned about it#and it’s been difficult drawing and writing in a house I feel unsafe in so Yayayyay how fun (sarcasm)#my partner is amazing about it though#she’s the best n she’s very good at distracting from it :3#have I said how much I love my partner cause I can#will make a whole blog about how much I love and appreciate her#don’t test me 🔫
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Jacket!!!! Ye olde varsity I got at the very beginning of my transition thinking "Oh fuck yes I am going to pass so hard in this" and. Well. It never worked I just have never passed a day in my life I don't think 😔 Eventually it just became a beloved test subject and has since gone through a bit of a transition itself LMFAOO
Some Notes:
> A lot of the decorations are taken from old backpacks I loved dearly that got absolutely fucking destroyed by the weight of all the shit I'd lug around in highschool LMFAO (sketchbook, diary, all kinds of notebooks...). Never had the heart to get rid of them. Specifically: The pink zippers, the holographic pockets, the glow in the dark stars, and the holo angel wings!
> The pink/blue checkers are from a small decorative quilt I thrifted years ago, I wouldn't be surprised if it was handmade (it's super soft material, btw! Important LMAO). I only took out one line of squares, I plan on stitching the rest of it back together (haven't done it yet though LMFAO). The reason for this was to upsize the jacket, so I can button it without it clinging. The pockets were added for funsies ESP cause it lined up very well and aren't really practical LMFAO (BUT YOU CAN PUT THINGS IN THEM! If you want!! 🎉🎉🎉)
> The patches (esp the name/pronouns one) were the first additions actually. Eventually more and more things were added, but I will say all the pins on the opposite side of the patches were haphazardly placed for a concert I VERY BADLY wanted to look good for LMFAOO (that's when the stars were added too! Fighting for my life on the car ride over speedrunning sewing and trying not to throw up about it AHAKHSKSHDK)
> Spike placement may be odd and I'd like to add more, but also I do frequently still carry around big heavy backpacks so I have to take that into consideration. Which is also why the wings have been bolted on. Those motherfuckers are NOT going anywhere LMFAO (has a really cool visual effect too!!)
> The material of the jacket itself (sort of a swishy windbreaker fabric) IS ABSOLUTE ASS TO WORK WITH. BY THE FUCKING WAY. IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING. I would NOT recommend it to anybody ESPECIALLY someone who is just starting to fuck around and find out. I literally am just sticking it out bc of the sentimental value this fucker has to me 😭😭😭
This jacket was my first plunge into customization and punk fashion, I didn't have a plan and still don't have one (and I think it kind of shows lmfao). I do worry that it's too soft and cutesy. Kind of the whole point for me, when it came to leaning heavy into punk, was to feel sharper, like I had some bite to me. I might be getting closer, but I think I'm still just kind of a silly guy LMAO. But, I do think in a way, esp as my first project, it represents me well -- where I started, what I loved before the beginning, what I tried desperately to be, what I still wish for, reuniting with the things I loved and embracing them in a brand new context. It's still an ongoing project too! So maybe as I keep growing, it'll grow alongside me, maybe finding that grit I've been striving for along the way.
#the big concert was mcr. btw. and cause it was a stadium no one got to see the glowy stars anyway LMFAOOOOO#for that concert i desperately wanted to have a big piece inspired by house of wolves on the back.#but i have never been able to get it right.#but like. it is actually my favorite mcr song. i REALLY wanted to do something transgender w it too.#like tell me i'm a bad man. i AM a bad man. bad man in the context of the song AND bad man as in. in the eyes of the observer.#i am just doing it poorly. on purpose. fuck with me about it!!!!!#also 'tell me i'm an angel' would compliment the wings as well#but as an artist i find i am way better at cartoons/characters than literally anything else.#ask me to do something cool w fonts/words beyond simply being legible and i'll throw up and cry.#also something i don't want to say outright but feel okay sharing in the tags is Why punk is so important to me#is cause i am just. so sensitive. i always have been.#but in a world that is actively becoming more hostile to exist in as a very visibly queer person#AND as a noticably autistic person too know like i think i have gotten to the point where people notice Something about me#(which. is good. bc autistic masking absolutely fucking ruined me so fucking bad.)#i need to get stronger. tougher. sharper. more dangerous. to exist as i am and to do so so boldy#i need to have the bite to back it up. i still feel like a prey animal but i have teeth i have claws.#going back to my church even for a moment has made me 10% eviler also. inspiring me to be the thing they fear.#so i think once i've rested i'm gonna go back to the drawing board for that transgender house of wolves backpiece.#diy punk#my projects
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what happened to grrgrrgrr? whyd they deactivate
I DONT FUCKING KNOOOW!!! I WISH I DID BC I LOVED THEM AND THEIR WORK SO MUCH!! I MISS THEM EVERY FUCKING DAYYY
They were one of my fav dhmis artists and they were such a sweetheart!! They drew me smth for my bday even tho we had never talked before,really!
I can tell you WHEN it happened, it happened around April/May of this year, because that was when I hurt my wrist so badly I took like a two-ish week long break from internet stuff. And when I came back! They were gone!!!
But ah, we weren't very close and I never really talked to them outside of Tumblr, so I am NOT the girl with the answers,I am just the girl dressed in a dramatic black veil crying and dropping white roses on their blogs grave.
#I WAS GONNA DRAW THEM THEIR GOOD OMENS BOYS FOR THEIR BIRTHDAY IN OCTOBER#AND NNNOW ILL NEVERR GHET TOO WWEEWEEEEEW#i legit. oh this makes me so fucking sad actually#ive like. talked with friends abt this and ACTUALLY become so distraught that we had to stop and change topics for my sake.#HERES WORSE NEWS: SOOO MUCH OF THEIR BLOG IS NOT ON THE WAYBACK MACHINE!!! SO A LOT OF THEIR ART IS JUST FUCKING GONE!!!#i was trying to show a friend who didnt know them some of my FAVE pieces from grrgrrgrr and boy. i cried like a BITCH when i couldnt find e#ive like. irl cried a lot over this topic actually which is WILD bc i did NOT know them personally#you ask me i think its just bc i loved their stuff so much and now i cant even LOOK at it#ugh..anyways. literally all i have are the reblogs in my queue. the stuff ive ALREADY reblogged. and the stuff i loved so much i saved.#which isnt a lot. and isnt even all of it.#so that makes me. immeasurably sad.#anyways bye#my postings
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