#Made me kind of stupid for being like yeah actually takumi is the only person to have a reasonable response to corrins shenanigans?

[kori-senpai]

HOI im still on the ground crying and gazing at ur art ;w;w;w; but i wanted to ask if it's alright if i link ur art in the notes of grapevine!!! 🧡🧡

Haha, yes of course!! I'd be honored beyond measure ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊˚

Im happy you liked the drawings. I heard so many horror stories about authors randomly blocking and ignoring fan artist and that's why it took me so many years to actually draw fanart for something. But your fic just-- ugh. I HAD to! So thank you for giving me the boost to overcome that little fear :))

[natsthinkitythinkthinkthonk]

Happy 32nd Birthday Nobuhiko Okamoto!

Personal Note:

I’ve been preparing for a while because I wanted to make this with a lot more thought. Sorry for the length of this post. I spent quite a bit of time on it, but I didn’t realize it would get so long! He is one of my top favourite voice actors (both English and Japanese) ever. To me, he’s a relatable, awesome, and passionate inspiration. He puts his all into every role he does, and he never gives up no matter who tells him to. 

I could probably go on about how much I like many of the roles he’s done, but that would be a whole other essay in itself. I even considered watching Corpse Party (the scaredy cat I am) because I heard he was in it. Yeah, I’m one of those people who gets drawn to anime when I figure out certain studios and voice actors are attached to it. I have watched a few episodes of some really bad anime because I heard he was in it. No regrets! Okay, maybe I have a few... I still haven’t watched them all though! I plan on watching a ton more, and that includes a few bad apples here and there.

Despite all the hurdles and adversity he faces, he overcomes it! He has had so many amazing roles, he sings, he’s good at shogi, and he’s just a good person. I respect him a lot. Honestly, I can’t word stuff too well, but I sincerely hope he continues working, maybe gets married and has kids (since he said he wanted to), and experiences all the happiness he deserves.

Table of Contents:

Top Roles (+ clips)

Trailblazer arrangement

Facts + Q&As

Music Recommendations

Additional Sources + other cool posts

Top Roles:

I watched to include even the ones that I didn’t watch entirely, so I put together a whole list. It’s generally not too strict in order, but I went from his good to his best. If I wanted to put a few words, I just included them in square brackets. In those, there will also be recommended clips if I feel the need to add any in.

* = ones that I haven’t watched completely (or up to its current point)

Rui Tatsumi* - Starmyu

Ivan Karelin* - Tiger and Bunny

Shin-ah - Akatsuki no Yona

[This character didn’t talk much, so he actually got to play a MOB character as well. I found this character kind of charming though.]

Mitsuo - Danshi Koukousei no Nichijou

[He’s the one who dropped the hot dog. Rest in Pieces. This anime made me laugh, and even though this character barely appeared, he made me laugh every time he did. Recommended clip: “Glasses”]

Gladion* - Pokemon Sun & Moon

[He’s actually the perfect choice to play this edgy boi.]

Yumeji Fujiwara* - Yumekui Merry

[RIP the can]

Makoto Kashino* - Yume-iro Pâtissière

[I just started this one]

Mizuki* - Kamisama Hajimemashite

[I watched six episodes of this one.]

Rei Ogami - Code:Breaker

[This wasn’t a very good anime, it’s a mediocre manga, but I still enjoyed it.]

Nikaidou Harunobu* - 3-Gatsu no Lion

[I watched around 6-8 episodes of this one. This character is a pure round boi, and I like the way Nobu portrayed this character. Recommended Clip.]

Io Otonashi* - Acchi Kocchi

[I watched around 5 episodes of this one. His bishounen game is very strong.]

Takeru Fujiwara* - Prince of Stride

[These anime characters run like how I run from my life responsibilities and problems. His bishounen game is also very strong. The strong and silent type is always popular. Sadly, I’m the quiet and extremely frail and weak type.]

Shouta Kisa* - Sekaiichi Hatsukoi

[According to Tumblr, he has never done an R-rated (18+) BLCD, but he has been in some shounen-ai anime.]

Issac Foster - Satsuriku no Tenshi

[My reaction to this anime. Don’t worry, I’m following this to the end.]

Ryousuke Kominato - Diamond no Ace

Ryou Kurokiba* - Shokugeki no Souma

Age - Sakasama no Patema

[Yeah, that’s his actual name. If you name your child something that stupid, I would personally like to have a word with you. This movie was really nice though.]

Accelerator* - Toaru Majutsu no Index

[I had to include his laugh to this]

Jurai Andou - Inobato (Inou-Battle wa Nichijou-kei no Naka de)

[And jail is just a building you live in! I can’t remember the context of this line.]

Kiyoharu Hyoudou - Welcome to the Ballroom

Yoichi Saotome* - Owari no Seraph

Eiji Niizuma* - Bakuman

[Recommended Clip]

Obi - Akagami no Shirayuki-hime

[When he looks into the mirror and realizes he’s missing his eyebrows.]

Takumi Usui* - Kaichou wa Maid-sama

Yuu Nishinoya* - Haikyuu

[Recommended Clip: ROLLING THUNDER!]

Rin Okumura - Ao no Exorcist

[He’s such a likeable protagonist. Recommended clip: Rin x Shiemi because they’re adorable]

Mikoto Mikoshiba - Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun

[This character made me laugh so much. He and Seo are my favourites. I haven’t seen another amazing anime with both Miyuki Sawashiro and Nobu. They’re my two favourites. I hope to see them acting together eventually (even if Mikorin and Seo never really communicated). Thanks to Nobu, we have a voice to this madly embarassed bishounen. Recommended Clips: Mikorin Clips, Mixer Clip]

Katsuki “Kacchan” Bakugou - Boku no Hero Academia

[Bakugou might not always be my cup of tea as a character, but his voice made me like him somewhat anyway whether he’s an asshole or not. There are a few scenes in season three that hit me with mad feels,, but even during season one and two, Nobu aced this role. This role is what shot him up to one of my favourite voice actors. Recommended Clips: Rage moments, Kacchan vs Deku audio segment (scroll down a little for this Tumblr post), Salty Bakugou S1]

Karma Akabane - Assassination Classroom

[While Bakugou is one type of crazy, Karma is another. Honestly, he’s such a sly, cunning, and mischievous character, but that’s what we all like about him, right?]

Trailblazer Arrangement:

This is my first time transcribing a song and arranging it! I improvised and made up some stuff (mostly guitar solos that just didn’t fit as well logically on piano). I usually don’t like (actually, I kinda hate) transcribing because it’s basically like trying to copy down a book that someone reads aloud (and you can’t look at the text). But it was worth doing this! He’s definitely not my favourite singer, but I’d still listen to him.

I didn't want to go with an original score for this one because I felt like I wanted to improve a lot more as a composer and artist (as if I'm qualified enough to be called those terms). When I make one for him, I want to go all out.

Facts:

I found some other interesting facts online. There are quite a few different sources. I’ll try to list them below all the facts (but I might link them to the actual facts as well. There are a lot, so there’s that.

All [Nat Notes] will be put between square brackets “[these]”.

These are all from THIS POST:

After graduating from secondary school, he entered some voice acting training courses associated with his agency (Pro-Fit) to pursue his dream as a seiyuu.

To be able to pay for his training, he worked at a 7-Eleven and a post office.

His family is very strict and conservative.

He was into video games when he was younger, but his parents were against letting him play video games and ended up limiting him to a one-hour per day time limit [THIS POOR BOI]

[Regarding his gaming] his parents told him, “If you want to play games, you can play shogi.” This ended up being the reason he started playing shogi.

He is a practicing Catholic [ironic since one of his most iconic roles is playing the son of Satan]

He’s a 3rd dan ranked shogi player, and he once aimed to be a professional shogi player.

He has a huge love for sweets. I follow his blog, and a lot of his posts involve sweets.

“His favourite [candy bar] would be Black Thunder chocolate bars (same as Kamiya Hiroshi and Ono Daisuke), and at one point, he always ends up buying Black Thunder by the box, stocking up on it, and eating up to 10 bars in one day, that his agency decided to restrict him into eating just one bar a day.” [let the poor guy eat his chocolate]

He is easily bullied by other seiyuu [check out the original post which has gifs of his mishaps]

“[While recording] …he ran away from the mic, forgetting that he was wearing headphones connected to the mic and ended up messing up the recording room, and the staff had to rearrange everything.”

He’s a big fan of Pokemon [He now plays Gladion in Pokemon Sun & Moon]

These are from “More Nobu Facts”

“As a student, he used to fall asleep on the train and miss his destinations sometimes. He thinks that it’s really comfortable to take a nap there.” [Yeah, you say that until you somehow end up in the middle of nowhere and wonder where you are and why you even exist.]

“He suffers from hay fever in the spring. Said that the symptoms kill him.” [You and me both except mine are year-round and gradually getting worse.]

“He played with Lego bricks when he was a kid.” [If he’s the type of person who left out the bricks and made people experience pain because of it, I will personally leave Lego bricks outside his door. Those things hurt when they’re unexpected.]

“He loves the indoor life.” [don’t we all…]

“He read the Harry Potter series.” [I did too! Not that I remember any of it.]

“His cute, foreign Furby only speaks English. Noburin stated, “English is very hard.”” [HOW DO PEOPLE SLEEP KNOWING THEY OWN ONE OF THOSE? I WOULD BURN IT IF I GOT ONE.]

“In elementary school, the girl he liked gave him chocolate on Valentine’s Day. He said he felt like crying from the shock.” [I haven’t experienced that. Was he happy because it was that girl who gave him chocolate or because he got free chocolate?]

“He was hospitalized before when he was a child due to a bad cold (or maybe the flu).” [Well, that diet sure doesn’t help, and I doubt screaming all the time is good for you. Weirdly, I can’t say anything more than that because I do both too except I scream internally while he does it as his profession.]

He tends to get sick within the first two weeks of October, right before his birthday. [I wish you luck!]

He likes to watch lightning and thinks that it’s cool. [I’M SO SCARED OF THUNDER]

During the summer as a kid, he liked to catch cicadas and dragonflies, and play with water guns. [SAME DUDE]

He was in the badminton club during secondary school.

These are all from his Q&A! [Part 1], [Part 2], [Part 3], [Part 4]:

I’m not going to include quotation marks for this one for the most part. I changed some awkward phrasing. I left out some questions from the original posts as well. Check the sources out!

Nickname: Pikorin

Favourite animal: Dog [Same. I love my dog, Penny. She’s my little sister. I have no shame.]

What are you fond of?: Squirrels [why?]

Description of your personality: Moody [Same.]

Favourite Colour: Black

Health and Beauty Routine: I drink two cups of milk in the morning and do squats two times a day. 

First thing you do in the morning?: Rinse your mouth

First thing you wash in the bath: Face

Amount of sleep you get: 4 hours on the weekdays, 10 hours on the weekend  [I wouldn’t live with that kind of schedule.]

Rain or sunshine: Rain!

What did you play as a child?: I slid down the slide and got many scratches. [I ran up slides a lot in elementary school]

Something you’re proud of: “I have a shiny legendary Pokemon.” [I ALMOST NEVER GET SHINIES. LET ALONE LEGENDARY ONES. THAT’S AN ACCOMPLISHMENT RIGHT THERE. The chances of getting one kinda vary, but it’s less than 0.1% I think.]

Favourite school subject: Math [Can’t relate. I’m dumb.]

Least favourite school subject: Civics

Best school memory?: I won a badminton tournament. [Can’t relate. I’m a blob.]

Previous part-time jobs: [...]post office, fast food, convenience store and then accounting, I’ve done different jobs.

If you could be reborn, would you be a man or woman? A woman!

Who was your first love?: We were in elementary school, in the same class. [Related post]

Any gesture of women unnerving to you?: My heart skips a beat when ousted or “shooed” by hand.  [He gets shooed like a bug XD]

Where would you go for a date?: Tokyo Disney Sea.  [You know you’re at the height of luxury when you can afford to take someone there. I want someone to take me to Disneyland or Disney World, or a Disney Cruise.]

Morning person or night person?: Morning person.  [Can’t relate.]

If you could drive to any time period, what would it be?: Jurassic Period! [If it just so happens you do, *pats* it was nice knowing you (even though he doesn’t know me). He’ll get eaten by a dinosaur.]

If you were stranded on a deserted island, what would you want there with you?: My Nintendo DS or PSP.   [Good luck without a charger or electricity. What games would he bring though?]

Favourite music genre: Anime songs [Me too fam.]

Do you play any instruments? No, playing the F chord on the guitar is my limit. [I like playing and creating music. I’m just not any good at it. XD He should try learning though!]

Favourite sports: swimming and badminton [I’m not good at swimming. I’m not good at badminton. I’m not good at sports.]

Sweets you usually eat: Macarons and chocolate-related sweets [AYE, that’s pretty much my taste too, so we pretty much have similar taste.]

Something you’re self-conscious about: The thickness of my eyebrows. [If his eyebrows were ugly, I would’ve commented on that already. XD (I usually say something along the lines of, “Is that a caterpillar on your face? It’s so thick and bushy! It looks like you took hair from your head and put it on your eyebrow! Maybe you can’t grow facial hair because all of it goes to those eyebrows.”)]

What will you do when and if only you became an invisible man one day?: Secretly observe Sugita Tomokazu-san. [Well, alright then. Fangirls have some competition? More importantly, Nakamura has competition!]

What’s the scariest thing to you?: In a sense, the most intimidating people. [All people are intimidating for me O^O’]

What is the title of the first game you’ve ever played in your life?: “Super Mario World”. [For me, it was Pokemon Pearl]

What would you be if you went into the fantasy world?: A witch. [Nobu, defying gender barriers. He’ll be a fabulous witch. I would similarly want to be a mage.]

What if I want to use a weapon to fight monsters?: Bow, crossbow. [I would want to use magic or a sword!]

Favourite season?: Spring. [I like winter because plants are dead (I have extremely bad allergies), snow, Christmas, my birthday, and New Year’s!]

At what spot do you like to linger around?: Starbucks. [Again, the height of luxury is when you’re able to afford Starbucks regularly.]

How’s your tolerance to alcohol?: I can’t drink much. [I don’t drink]

What good books do you usually read?: Original works that are adapted into anime. [I don’t read a lot. I’m an illiterate fool.]

What do you buy at convenience stores?: Fresh premium caramel roll cake. [I wish they had those in Canada…]

Favourite place in the country?: Okinawa. [I gotta go there someday!]

What countries do you want to go abroad?: Italy. [He recently said he wants to go to Italy for gelato and to be honest, I relate. Europe has good chocolate and cheese from what I hear.]

What are the challenges to your trip destinations like?: Pickpockets like to snatch! [He better watch out for those vans that say “Free Candy!” They might be meant for kids, but he might just stumble in.]

Are you nervous in public?: Recently it’s been okay; still nervous during events. [I’m always nervous in public. I would like to attend an event by the end of my life though.]

What would you tell your past-self (10 years ago)?: “Don’t give up and eat your dinner properly!” [I tell that to myself now XD If I were to send a message to myself, it would be something along the lines of, “What you feel, what you think, and what you believe is important. Listen to yourself. At the end of the day, you will figure out what to do. Don’t be afraid of being alone, and don’t be afraid to wander. Loosen up.”]

What would you message to your future-self (10 years from now)?: “The you in his twenties is having lots of fun. Are you having fun?” [Message for me ten years from now: PLEASE TELL ME YOU AREN’T AS DEEP INTO VOICE ACTORS AND ANIMATION. I BEG YOU, GET A LIFE.]

If the world was going to perish in 24 hours, what would you do? Gather all my friends and family, and have a BBQ party. [I would just write something in case it resurfaces. I would want to write my thoughts, opinions, and experiences along with the people around me.]  

Where do you want to work?: A place where I could grow. [Same!]

What are your thoughts when you look back at 2010? I issued a sex appeal to play [Usui], and worked hard to reach the targets! [From the amount of screaming fangirls, I think you did just fine.]

What is your current aim?: To be more playful and get more out of acting.

Finally, a message to the world: I’ll work hard from now on to make a voice that everyone will not have a hard time to listen to. Thank you for your support! [Thank you Nobu! You inspire a lot of people (including me) everyday!]

Additional Facts! [SOURCES WILL BE LISTED BELOW!]

He likes watching horror movies (especially with his friends Ryouhei Kimura, Kouki Uchiyama, and Yoshimasa Hosoya. Kouki is a scaredy-cat.) When watching a horror movie, he experienced scary unknown noises and used salt to ward away ghosts.

His birthdate is October 24, 1986

He is 168cm tall

He is affiliated with the agency Pro-Fit

He won: - Best New Actor Award at the Third Seiyu Awards for his roles as  Shin Kanzato in Persona: Trinity Soul, Ryuji Kuhoin in Kurenai, and Accelerator in Toaru Majutsu no Index (along with Yuuki Kaji!) - Best Supporting Actor Award at the Fifth Seiyu Awards for his roles as  Takumi Usui in Kaichou wa Maid-Sama, Eiji Niizuma in Bakuman, and Accelerator in Toaru Majutsu no Index II

He loves sweets... a lot: - He’s a qualified patisserie - Where his love of sweets came from [I can also say that is a good portion of his blog]

He tried to be rebellious as a kid but got “clobbered” by his mom.

He would purposefully wear long-sleeves while in the hot recording room for “My Hero Academia” so that he would be agitated enough to play Kacchan!

He adds chocolate to his curry sometimes

He gave Ayane Sakura the nickname “Ayaneru”

He often celebrates fictional characters’ birthdays on his blog for series that he’s involved with!

He was once told to give up on being a voice actor!

Thank you for not giving up Nobu!

Music:

月刊少女野崎君-俺の手でSPARKING!! 御子柴實琴(CV:岡本信彦) - Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun: Mikorin Character Song

Kamisama Hajimemashita: Mizuki Character Song

Welcome to the Ballroom: Kiyoharu Hyoudou Character Song

『 サクラメント』By Okamoto Nobuhiko Ending for Vatican Miracle Examiner

Promise - Kaichou wa Maid-sama: Takumi Usui Character Song

Restoration to 0 - Code:Breaker: Rei Ogami Character Song

Tiger and Bunny: Character Song

スタミュ Starmyu S2 Shadow & Lights 「沈黙のディアローグ」Ver. Tatsumi Rui

Blue Flame - Prince of Stride: Takeru Fujiwara Character Song

99.9% Noisy - To Aru Majutsu no Index: Accelerator character song

Oikaze ni Tsugu - Diamond no Ace: Kominato Ryosuke

Trailblazer - Ao no Exorcist

Kimi wa Hitori Janai

List of Links (Sources and other cool stuff!):

Some of the links were included in the actual facts themselves! If a source and other stuff is missing, they’re included above!

Voice Compilations:

25 Anime Characters That Share The Same Voice Actor as Boku no Hero Academia's Bakugou Katsuki

Voice Compilation [ 1 ], [ 2 ] 

Wikipedia:

Nobuhiko Okamoto

3rd Seiyuu Awards

5th Seiyuu Awards

Haikyuu Stuff:

Haikyuu Awards Basically, they got the fans to nominate for awards like “Who’s the best dressed?” Then the cast got to comment (and maybe get praised by the two female cast members)

“Imagination Game” - Seiyuu Event Long story short: to win a pair of Karasuno boxers, the voice actors must answer all the same character when asked something like, “Out of the Karasuno team, who’s the most likely to [blank]”

Cast Pictures

Drama CD: Why Noya isn’t popular with women (This one is because I fricking relate because I’m too short for this tall world)

“Who’s Best Girl?” - Cast Comments + Nobuhiko’s comments [video with cc]

Nobuhiko Okamoto & Yuuki Kaji being bros [ 1 ], [ 2 ], [ 3 ], [ 4 ], [That time they challenged a Guinness World record], [Nobuhiko’s message for Yuuki Kaji’s 30th birthday]

Nobuhiko’s athletic ability

Kouki Uchiyama, Daiki Yamashita, Nobuhiko Okamoto: [Comic] BNHA Cast Comments

Daiki lending Nobuhiko his jacket (this can potentially fuel Bakudeku fanfics. I can feel it.)

Nishinoya and Bakugou at Jump Festa

[thedegenerateasexual]

the last of let’s talk about love under the cut, chapters 27-34 + the epilogue:

chapter 27:

v v short, just a visit to the therapist again where she tells him about coming out

chapter 28: 

alice went to her parents wioth the law school thing and told them she wanted to change majors and they...cut her off financially

that was not what i was expecting and not what she was expecting either god damn

she went to takumi’s to be sad and

“What about a weekend away? Forget about everything for a few days and relax. How do you feel about camping?”

“I feel like I’m not going to like it.” She rested her head on his shoulder.

He traced the bridge of her nose. “In a cabin, not a tent.”

“I feel like I might like it.”

lmao mood

“I’m not going to sleep with people to make them happy anymore. It’s kind of my thing, but I don’t want it to be.”

“Wait, he asked to have sex with you?”

“No, but if things went well, he would have. Eventually.”

“He might not,” he said. “You don’t really know what someone will say until you tell them.”

That … was not what she expected him to say. Her admission should have gotten her a solemn nod, meaningful condolences, and a promise that she’d find someone someday.

Did he really care that she was self-rejecting? Or …

Or …

Or …

OR!!!! i’m dying

“It seems easier to just not date,” she began, watching for any change in his demeanor. “Sex is too much a part of everything, and I don’t think it’s reasonable to tell my partner I don’t ever want to sleep with them and expect them to stick around. I’m not saying they wouldn’t agree. I personally am not okay with asking. And I’m not saying I wouldn’t want to try again someday, but I don’t want them to have the expectation that I will. It has to be my choice and a lot of people don’t respect that.”

She stared at his profile so hard she thought her eyes would cross. She prayed he would say the Perfect Thing.

please i’m losing it

He said nothing. Alice waited and waited, watched the way his fingers gripped the steering wheel, the way his thumb tapped to the soft music. He looked in the rearview mirror at the sleeping twins in their car seats, out his side mirrors when he changed lanes, but never at her. Not even a glance.

Maybe she shouldn’t have told him that.

She always told him everything, but she should not have told him that.

Not yet.

NOOOO what that’s the end of the chapter???

i guess in all fairness he can’t say “i’ll date you and we can never ever have sex if you want and i’ll always be OK with that” in like full honesty without, you know, really thinking about what that would be like, and it’s not a good idea to promise something if you don’t know if you can make good on it, and sex is super important to some people (??? i know but it is) so

chapter 29:

all takmui/alice hangouts at their camping cabin. alice decided to get drunk and He, A Gentleman, refused to also get drunk, just to make sure nothing untoward would happen. i lvoe him

chapter 30:

They stared at each other. Alice blinked first, but her eyes didn’t make it back to his. She focused on his smile, his lips, not wanting to kiss them; rather she wanted to touch them to see if they were as soft as they looked. The dangers of drunk-thinking could end in disaster. Her hand was halfway to his mouth when he asked, “Do you want to watch a movie?”

HE’S A GENTLEMAN i’m cryin

He gave her a funny look. “You like romance? In real life?”

“Of course I do. How do you not know this about me?”

Takumi laughed, turning away to look out the window for a moment. “I’m trying to figure something out and it’s not making sense to me.”

“Okay.” She willed herself not to be nervous.

“Before, you said ‘bisexual minus the sexual’ but didn’t add in a substitute. So if you don’t care about sex, what do you care about?”

“Ah,” she said, pleased by the question.

be still my beating heart i can’t believe he’s ASKING QUESTIONS where do people like this COME from

semi-related note i like that the book didn’t end with her coming out and them dating and it’s all rainbows, they still have a little poking to do, some understandings to come to, it’s Nice

“And for the record, I don’t believe in true love either, but I think it’s possible to feel like it could be real. That it’s possible to share something that feels that way with someone.”

The skeptical look on his face made her laugh without humor.

“And I think it’s possible to feel that way more than once. Sometimes even with more than one person at a time. Feelings are messy and confusing. It takes me a god-awful long time to sort through mine and I don’t always completely trust myself.”

i’m telling you dude. aces overthink shit. this is almost universally true i’m sure

about prom:

She didn’t know how to explain that, yes, her friends had been great, but going alone wasn’t in the plan. Every movie and show she had seen portrayed it as this big romantic event and she’d missed out on that because nobody asked her and she had been too afraid to ask anyone else. She wanted to wear her dress, get a corsage, and slow dance. It was stupid and archaic, but that didn’t stop her from wanting it like burning. If she thought about it too much, she could still feel that crushing hope that grew each day while she waited to be asked and that pervasive fear stopping her from asking anyone.

what a mood! i could type a thousand-word essay on my baggage re: school dances ALONE. at least alice got to GO to prom

OH my god alice is like still a lil tipsy and her brother called to yell at her about changing her major and he clocked that she was both drunk and hanging with “a grown-ass man” because “you have 2 friends and if you were with them you would have said their names and was immediately furious and demanded to speak to takumi

and alice, in a total power move, just HANDED HIM THE PHONE

“Yes—I’ll keep that in mind. Not that you could stop me if I wanted to, but I hear you.”

Her eyebrows slapped her hairline. She grabbed his hand, pulling it to her chest. “Wanted to what?”

Takumi squeezed her hand. Smiling, he looked at Alice and said to her brother, “No. You really couldn’t.” He hung up the phone. “That was fun.”

I BET I CAN GUESS WHAT THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT

listen. /I/ have a crush on takumi. he’s literally the perfect man

chapter 31:

FEENIE AND ALICE FINALLY MADE UP THANK FUCK

tbh feenie had some legit beef that is too long to copypasta - that alice was just using her for self defense - and admitted she had some bs going on too - it was a good make-up, actually. i’m so relieved

yk what’s cute?

“I really want us to grow old together, you know? Go through all the typical life stuff together even if that means we can only e-mail each other once a week because you moved to the middle of nowhere in Nebraska with your ten kids and I’m still in California because it’s amazing. Just like in that one movie—we’ll never lose touch with each other, ever. Is that weird?”

“No,” Feenie said. “It’s perfectly fucking normal.”

god bless

now that they’re back together feenie is ready to murder alice’s entire family for ditching her and helps her get a gameplan together about her future with no financial aid from her folks & god bless that too

chapter 32:

He watched the road.

She watched him.

God, did Alice want to kiss him. She had always liked kisses, small ones here and there. She wanted to kiss his cheeks and temples and the tip of his nose and his jaw and below his ear and every other place he would let her. She wanted to kiss him like he was the darkest night sky and her lips had the power to make stars.

AWWW she does like kissing well more power 2 u honey kissing is disgusting but live ur best life

omg it’s CONFESSION TIME

“So now would be a good time to say something,” she said when he continued to be silent.

“I’m trying. I’m just”—he paused—“I’m a little floored here.”

“I guess that means no.” She bit her lip.

“No. I mean, I’m not saying no.” More pausing. “I think I’m trying to say I need some time to think about this.”

“About me?”

“Yeah. And about us being an us. How that would work.”

Oh No ):

i was so sure he would be good!!!

“It’s just you’ve made your stance, I guess, pretty clear on things.”

A nervous quiver began to build in the pit of Alice’s stomach. “Oh. That.” She lowered her head. Her fingers toyed with the collar of her shirt when really they wanted to curl into a fist and press against the pain in her chest. But she didn’t want him to see.

“I remember what you said,” he said softly. “I don’t know if it’s something I could give up.” He closed his eyes, hands out in front of him as if he were reaching for the perfect combination of words to break her heart. Alice waited—wanting to hear it, wanting to run, wanting, wanting, always waiting and wanting.

IF HE FUCKS THIS UP I AM GONNA ZAP MYSELF INTO THIS BOOK AND KILL HIM fuck obviously he’s not obligated but C’MON!!!

“i’ve been reading everything that i could“ bye that is so thoughtful

An eerie calm settled over Alice. Every time this happened, she felt her pain with bone-shattering clarity, but this time—nothing. There was nothing. A numbness, surreal but true, made her heart keep beating at a steady rhythm, kept her breathing even, and allowed her to look at him. She watched him fidget and struggle, unsure where to look, what to do with his hands. Was he shaking from nerves or from worry?

Neither of them believed in forever, but for now wasn’t nearly long enough. Until he grew tired, until he moved on, until he left her because of something she had no control over. The thought of pretending, of faking her way through whatever kind of relationship he wanted, made her sick to her stomach. She had to be the one to leave him.

NO!!!!! goddammit!!

“It’s fine. It’s fine.” She inhaled, nodding and staring out the windshield at nothing. “It was my mistake. I should’ve asked and not assumed that you’d be okay with me as is.” She turned to him. “Let’s just forget the whole thing, okay? Everything.”

i’m gonna lose all my shit what the absolute FUCK how are they gonna fix this in 2 chapters

chapter 33, which had better be BETTER:

AWWWW it’s actually a phone call between alice and her dad!! he had a change of heart & agreed to pay for rent and groceries as long as she was in school doing SOMETHING bc he loves her and wants her to be happy ;_;

chapter 34, i’m dying, how will they fix it in one chapter:

“I wish it felt like this stupid, small thing I could crush in my hand, but it doesn’t. I wish it were some line in the sand that I could hop, skip, and jump over, but it’s not. It matters to him enough that the only thing he could say to me was that he cares, which you know, comparatively, wasn’t even that bad, but I can’t stop crying, because I’m pretty sure my heart’s breaking in there.

“A year ago, I would have said whatever. Sure. Yeah. Okay. But not now. Because I really, really like him, he knows everything, and he couldn’t answer me, because it matters enough to make him pause. Just that one stupid, small thing.”

she’s talking about her “breakup” with takumi and she’s miserable but yk what? it’s so good that she’s still not willing to budge and sleep with him just because she wants to be with him. it’s not like an admission fee. she likes him a lot but she’s done compromising herself w/ that line and i’m so proud of her for that

“I’m sorry about what I said the other night. I’m not perfect, but sometimes it really feels like you’re expecting me to be. I know I messed up, but refusing to talk to me isn’t fair. I’d never even heard of asexuality before I met you.”

Alice turned so fast she got a crick in her neck. “Will you hush?” She clamped a hand over his mouth,

sdfksghdkfgj fuck

altho fair point even i have called him perfect like 800 times. he’s trying hard & that’s what matters

oh my god so alice is like look im sorry but i like you too much we cannot be friends and he’s like yeah i think that’s true we can’t be and so she, tearfully, is like: that’s that then! and then he, wonderful man that he is:

“Except it’s not.” He grasped her wrist, rubbing his thumb gently over her pulse point. “I could say that I knew as soon as I saw you that I was doomed. I could say that I fell in love with you the morning after you fell asleep in my guest room and we got into a pillow fight when I tried to wake you up. I could say that when I was sick and you took care of me, almost asking you to marry me sounded like the greatest idea I’d ever had. I could say that every day I don’t talk to you, I feel like I’m dying a slow, melodramatic death.”

Alice stared at him, eyes wide, mouth agape. That kind of declaration was the bread and butter of romance movies, and it was for her.

IS HTIS SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE SHE TOLD HIM SHE LIKED ROMANCE MOVIES oh my god

OH MY GOD

I

JUST 

SCREAMED

ok ok so he kisses her and then starts to kiss her again and then FREEZES

Inches away, eyes locked onto hers, he stopped moving. Alice pressed her lips together, anxious to get out of that frozen stance, but unsure of what to do. Didn’t he want to kiss her again? She wanted him too. What was he waiting for?

Takumi subtly raised his eyebrows.

(A question for her?)

(Oh. Oh.)

Now was probably the wrong time to tease him, but … “You didn’t ask first.”

“I realized that. I’m sorry,” he whispered back, words tickling her skin. “I’d like to kiss you again.”

“I’d like that, too. Yeah.”

I AM WAILING HE ASKED IF HE COULD KISS HER ARE YOU KIDDING ME

i take it back, he’s still perfect

i love this. romance novels for aces. make this a thing! straight women’s wish fulfillment is all that bodice-ripping ravishment BS and aces just want to be asked if it’s A-OK to smooch

She kissed him with everything she had and borrowed what she didn’t.

what a wonderful sentence

On the list of things Alice loved about Takumi, touching him was definitely in the top five. Resolutely she added kissing him to that list. Kisses were not supposed to be like this. They were nice and soft and made her feel warm inside, special, when done right, but were overly wet and vomit inducing when they weren’t. Kisses had never left her with her chest heaving and desperate for more moments like this. She never wanted to stop. She never wanted this kiss to end.

THIS IS REAL...alice understands the struggle.......literally i did gag once during a kiss they are patently Awful

“I already apologized, but I want to do it again, because I truly am sorry that I said what I did. I was too flustered to think properly and instead of taking the time to think like I knew I should have, I tried to answer you right away. I know what I want to say now.”

oh boy

“The reason why I hesitated wasn’t because of sex itself. You were spot on before. Sex is like jogging. Either you enjoy doing it or you don’t. To me, and this is just me, it’s the feeling that I care about—what sex is supposed to represent.”

“And that’s what to you?”

“If you felt the same way as I feel about you, you would want to have sex with me. You would think of me as someone worthy of your passion and desire, and you would show me how you feel physically. Not just with words but with action and urgency,” he continued, “but you don’t and for the most part, I understand. That’s not a part of who you are and I know that doesn’t mean that you don’t have other feelings for me. The thing is, that feeling that you can’t give me? It’s important to me. And I can’t apologize for feeling that way or for wanting it.”

TAKUMI....

oh my god

“This morning it finally clicked. I was thinking of sex, actually having sex, as the Holy Grail, and when I got frustrated, I tried to look at it from a different point of view and I realized something else.

“No one has ever complimented me as much as you do. Every day. All day. I could show up wearing a burlap sack and a tinfoil hat and you’d probably tell me how avant-garde and handsome I looked. You genuinely listen to what I have to say and value my opinion. You tell me I’m wonderful and talented and amazing—”

Alice didn’t mean to laugh—it bubbled out of her before she could stop it. She tilted her head to the side, looked at him, and said, “Because you are.”

“When you thought I didn’t want you, you started to cry,” he said. Alice tried to memorize the gentle look in his eyes as he spoke. “I watched you lower your head, clutch the front of your shirt, and try to smile because you didn’t want me to see how much what I was saying hurt you, because you do desire me. You wanted me so much that me saying no caused you actual pain. The thought of me only caring about not being able to have sex with you hurt because you thought I knew how much you wanted me.”

“For the record, I didn’t cry in the car. I cried in the shower.”

“It was still because of me.” He raised their joined hands and kissed the backs of hers. “It’s the same thing. Whether you’re so overwhelmed you can’t keep your hands off me or you’re crying because you think I don’t want you, it’s the same thing. It comes from the same place. That’s desire. That’s passion. You’ve never held back how you feel about me.”

AREY OU KIDDING ME...lmao i am crying again fully i can’t believe this

i have literally...never once in my entire 12ish years of struggling with this...thought of it that way

not one single solitary time. wow. i love this book. this is the best book ever, dumb fandom references and all

“Thank you,” she whispered, wiping away a rogue tear. She hadn’t realized she’d been waiting for someone, anyone, to say that to her. She knew it was true, of course, but sometimes hearing it out loud made all the difference in the world. “For saying that. Thank you.”

“It’s the truth.” He wiped away another of her traitorous tears with his thumb. “If we take away everything—there’s just you and me, nothing else, I see us together. Stripped down to the core, being with you is what I want because I’m in love with you. If we never had sex, I would still want to be with you because you’re in my heart, too. Just laughing, dancing, and twirling in circles, and I know that sounds weird as hell, but you are. And it’s important to me that you know that.”

STOPPP i’m like boo-hooing i can’t believe this

“So it would make you happy if we had sex?”

“I’m happy now.”

“Fine. You’d be happier, then?”

“Alice, we’ve been dating for five minutes. We have plenty of time to figure out what’s best for us.”

(DATING.)

bless her and bless him too

“Being in a relationship takes actual effort to be successful,” he said. “Not just talking, but listening, being honest, respecting each other, and compromise, you know, those kinds of things. That’s why people say make sure to marry your best friend because once the honeymoon is over? Nothing will save you if the foundation is shitty. But us? Me and you? We don’t have anything to worry about. We got this.”

“Okay.” She breathed. “Okay. I think that’s it.”

“It?”

“Yes. Yeah.” She kissed him.

It wasn’t the Perfect Thing, but it was real and honest and damn it, she’d take that any day.

THAT’S IT!!!!!

HTIS BOOK IS SO GOOD EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW THIS ABOUT ROMANCE

okay and also there is an EPILOGUE:

SHE’S SURPRISING HIM FOR THEIR ANNIVERSARY sdfkljs

“We’re still doing this every month? I thought six was the big one for you?”

“Yes, until we hit one year, and then I’ll stop being quite so extra. Not a lot though. Just a little. No promises.”

It had been seven glorious months.

(SEVEN.)

SIX IS THE BIG ONE FOR HER AND THEY MADE IT SEVEN!!!!

Getting Feenie and Takumi in the same room had taken weeks of machinations and failed attempts. Everything had finally come together on Thanksgiving. Takumi had volunteered to cook, Feenie refused to acknowledge his presence, but right before grabbing a third helping of his macaroni and cheese, she had looked at him, and said, “You hurt Alice, I hurt you. Are we clear? And pass the cranberry sauce. Please.”

(Alice had nearly fainted when she got her wedding invitation. It had been addressed to her and Takumi.)

i’ll allow feenie to be the good egg again

awww and her mom called and things are getting back to normal with them too, takumi’s even gonna meet them!

and then the v last lines:

“I know you make me happy,” he said, seconds away from falling asleep. “I know you love me.”

“I know you love me, too.”

and that’s that

overall review: i fuckin...love this book...it cuts you right to the core and doesn't mess around and the characters are so real and layered and imperfect and messy, and i can’t believe this is this author’s debut novel, like Damn. it is so good, and she is so brave for putting it all out there like that. best book ever 9.5/10 (half a point off for making me think about supernatural, but otherwise: perfect.)

[darlingaces]

Lewis had known regret numerous times throughout his life. Sometimes, he thought that there wasn't a single moment that he didn't regret. But this here, right now? May be the biggest regret of his life. Because while Katsu would absolutely forgive him for this, Takumi never would.

He turned away from Katsu and buried his face in the bed, curling up into a ball as he came to terms with what they'd done. Katsu rested a hand on his back and he flinched, arching away from the touch. "Don't touch me," he growled, covering his face. "That was a huge mistake. The biggest mistake, do you understand? We can't tell anyone about it.”

"Psh, why not?" Katsu said, though he did keep his hands to himself. "We had sex, so what? No one is going to get mad at us for that. Takumi might be a little disgusted, but that's just because he doesn't get the need to release every so often. What a weirdo, right?"

"No." Lewis now had another reason to regret this. Great. "No, it's not that weird to not want to have sex Katsu." He shook his head. "I just... I didn't want to have sex with you. I thought I did, really, but now I'm realizing that I didn't."

The other man was silent behind him, and then he heaved a great big sigh and got out of the bed. "So what, you're going to start claiming that I raped you?"

"What?!" Lewis sat up and stared at him with wide eyes, flinching back at the glare on his face. "No, why would I do that? Katsu, you didn't rape me. Just because I regret it after the fact doesn't mean that I didn't agree to it." He shook his head, gathering the blankets up around his shoulder, unable to meet his gaze. "I'm sorry."

Katsu snorted and started pacing along the length of the room, stomping every time he turned around. "Makes a man real happy to know that his partner regrets having sex with him. Why are we even together if you don't want to have sex with me?" He demanded, kicking the bedframe.

Frowning, Lewis tightened his grip on the blankets. "Um. I didn't know we were together. I thought this was just a random night of sex. Do you really think that if we were dating I would just straight into bed with you without even sharing a kiss first?" He looked up. "I'd have a little more class if we were in a relationship, Katsu.”

Katsu stared at him, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides, before turning on his heel and storming out of the room. 

Sighing, he collapsed back against the bed and covered his face, groaning. So now he's ruined his relationships with two out of the three people he traveled with. At least Leigh didn't hate him yet. Though when he found out about this... Fuck, Lewis may as well just leave now instead of wait for them to kick him out. Instead he just pulled the blankets up over his head, hiding from the world. Maybe if he stayed here long enough, they'd just forget about him.

"So I don't think I've ever seen dear big brother so angry at someone who wasn't me.”

Motherfuck.

"Want to explain?"

Lewis pulled the blanket down to stare at Takumi, scowl sitting heavy on his face. "No. I don't want to explain. It's none of your business. I just... I said something I shouldn't have said and now he's upset with me."

Takumi snorted and pushed away from the door frame, pulling the door shut behind him as he approached the bed. "Understatement there, my friend. Katsu look ready to nail the door shut and leave you in here to starve. Do you know what a nightmare he's going to be now? Share the details with me." He sat down on the bed, rested a hand on Lewis' back.

He stayed quiet, feeling him start rubbing his back, and then sniffed, wiping at his eyes. "Please don't get mad at me." He found himself begging, trying not to cry as Takumi comforted him. Instead of going after his brother. God, Lewis didn't deserve him.

Takumi hummed. "I can only promise to try. Without knowing, I don't know if this'll make me mad or not."

"Probably will," He muttered, before biting his lip. "So. I had sex with him. And I thought I wanted to, you know? I thought that sex with him would be fun and relaxing. But part way through I realized that it wasn't him I wanted to be having sex with. And instead of letting him know that I didn't want to have sex anymore while we were doing it, I let him finish and then let him know, and now he's mad that I let him take advantage of me."

There was silence for a long, agonizing moment, before Takumi sighed. "So you made a mistake. Shit happens, Katsu will get over himself. It's not like he's the only one this affects." He then pinched Lewis' side. "You said you realized it wasn't him. Who did you want to have sex with?"

"No, don't ask me that." Lewis shook his head, uncovering his face to look over at him. The suspicion made a whine arise in his throat and he bit his lip. "Don't ask me that Takumi, you won't like the answer. It's not fair. To any of us, me or Katsu or..."

"Or me."

Lewis flinched. 

"Ah." Takumi took his hand back and nodded. "So you used my twin as a substitute for me."

Fidgeting, Lewis nodded. "I'm sorry." He muttered, sitting up and pulling his legs to his chest, wrapping his arms around them.

The other man surprised him then by starting to laugh, falling back against the bed and covering his face. Lewis stared at him, confused, while Takumi's laugh turned wild and uncontrollable.

"Um, Takumi?" He poked him with his toe, gasping when Takumi grabbed his foot tightly. "Ow!”

"Oh shush, this is the least of what you deserve." He said through laughter, slowly calming down and turning to look at him. He did soften his touch though. "You're a special kind of stupid, you know that? I don't think I've ever had someone do this to me. I don't know if I should be flattered or mad."

Lewis bit his lip, chewing on it. "I would be mad," he offered, shrugging and picking at the skin on his leg.

Takumi reached up and grabbed his hand. "I think I am. I think I am very mad, that you're attracted to me and you acted on that attraction by seducing my brother. He's never going to forgive you, you know that? He values consent and desire so much in any sexual encounter, and for you to say nothing... he's going to be livid forever."

Lewis stared down at their hands. "You know, he thought we were in a relationship." He pointed out, lips twitching towards a smile when Takumi laughed again. "I didn't even know."

"No, I'd imagine not." He giggled, tugging on Lewis' hand until the other man fell down to rest on Takumi's stomach. "Even you're not so cruel as to get in a relationship with him and then break his heart like this, not on purpose. I mean it's still what you did, but at least you didn't know."

He might have whimpered. It was hard to tell, face pressed against the soft fat of Takumi's belly. "You're a lot calmer about this than I was expecting," he mumbled, turning his head so he could breath. He felt Takumi let go of his foot and start carding his fingers through Lewis' hair. "I mean, I would be really mad."

Takumi snorted, the motion jiggling his stomach. "Sounds like you want me to be mad at you. Do you want me to punish you for doing something so ridiculously stupid Lewis?"

He lifted his head and frowned at him. "Don't you want to?" He hestitated, gesturing around the room. "I want you to. I hurt you, Takumi. I hurt you and I hurt Katsu and who knows, Leigh is probably going to feel pretty hurt by the time Kastu's done telling him what happened."

"So let one of them punish you." Takumi shrugged at the sour look on Lewis' face. "Or this can be my way of punishing you. Not giving you what you want. Because I'm definitely not going to do that, you know? I get making stupid decisions. And it's not like you went into this whole thing thinking about how much you'd rather be fucking me. Which, ew." Takumi wrinkled his nose and shuddered, before sighing. "You made a mistake, and unfortunately that mistake involved another person. But that's between you and Katsu. I'm not going to do anything to either of you for it." He went silent, just for a second, and then rolled his eyes. "So you know that I hate sex, right? Like it disgusts me and now that I'm actually thinking about it, knowing that you and my brother had sex on his bed just moments ago makes me want to rip my skin off."

Lewis' eyes narrowed. "Yeah...?"

"But I used to have sex a lot. Like a lot a lot. I was a huge fucking slut." He smirked at the disbelief on Lewis' face. "Yeah I know. It's part of why I'm so against it now. But back then, I thought if I had it often enough, I'd just start to like it. That I would start being normal if I forced myself to."

He remembered the words Katsu had used earlier and scowled, tightening his grip on Takumi's hand. 

He stopped, frowning at him, and then gave a smile as he ran his thumb over the back of his hand. "Relax, it's fine. It's been a long time since that kind of stuff has happened. But what I'm trying to say, is that it would be super hypocritical of me to get on your case about having regret sex when you didn't even go into it thinking it would be regret sex, when I had regret sex all the time."

"Is that the official term for it, regret sex?" He asked, cheek pressed against his stomach.

Laughing, Takumi's head fell back against the bed. "Oh absolutely. It's the best name for it, you know? Regret sex. Sex that you regret. What could be a better name?" He sighed and stretched his legs. "But seriously, can we get up? Being on this bed is really starting to bother me, and also Katsu might want to take his room back at some point."

Lewis sighed and sat up, letting of Takumi's hand. "I mean it's just a hotel room, he's probably going to spend the night with Leigh anyway. Let Leigh sooth all of his hurts."