#ask me how many times I’m going to rewatch this episode

[zer0-devoox]

Serial designation V psychological analysis

Let’s start with this.

From the pilot, the first and clearest introduction we have of V is as a cold-blooded killer, which leads us to draw several conclusions:

• she DON'T feel guilt or other emotions for being practically a psychopath, right?

• Pretending (and perhaps overacting) not to know N.

• She’s sexy—wait, what?

If there’s one thing I can say with my eyes closed, it’s that V’s personality throughout the series (at least until episode six) is a defense mechanism. Having suffered firsthand the atrocities of AS, V had to find a way to stay sane and assured herself that it didn’t hurt to make N suffer, that it didn’t hurt to be a complete bitch to the people around her, and that it didn’t hurt to kill people.

(That last one is a given; what did you expect? You can’t ask for moral consequences for murder; we’re in Murder Drones.)

A haughty, playful personality that is, to some extent, easy to anger. I don’t deny that many of these traits may have developed over time, but most are tropes that hide what’s really inside—a traumatized girl who lost everything and was turned into a killing machine.

(Some might say that I justify V’s actions when it comes to killing, and yes, I do; number 1, we’re in MD, and number 2, she’s my favorite character. What did you expect?)

To some extent, her diva complex hides insecurities (???)

The point is that this girl hardened herself, sharpened her teeth and claws, and did what she had to do to survive—from killing random workers, beheading N in cold blood, to manipulating a teenager and pretending to be her best friend to kill everyone (can we talk about how in "The Promening," V tried to negotiate with N and keep Uzi alive?)

A little extra note: rewatching the series for this summary, I can notice that V still retains some behaviors from her previous self, like when she blows bubbles or when at the end of "Cabin Fever," she smiles upon seeing Uzi with N.

In a way, I can assure you that V is simply TERRIFIED—terrified of herself, terrified of what they are now, and of Uzi, of Cyn.

Disorders:

Perhaps (with the risk of being wrong) Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

We have several clues about this, like when in "Cabin Fever," she calls Uzi "Cyn."

That’s a detail we’ll discuss later.

Besides that, she’s always on alert and has her claws ready for any danger that may arise (another symptom of PTSD), and her aversion towards Uzi because when she sees her, she doesn’t see Uzi.

She sees Cyn...

People who ship VxN (sorry, I’m not a fan of the ship, but I don’t judge; I’ll try to give my opinion without it sounding like a criticism) always argue that V feels jealous of Uzi. But you know? I... don’t see it that way, at least not completely. I think V does feel jealousy, but more than romantic jealousy, it’s more of a necessary attachment feeling. Let me explain:

Let’s remember that J is dead, so if we add 2 + 2, we can understand what’s happening here: V is ALONE and the only "functional" support network she has left is N and only him.

And also when she tries to keep Uzi away from N because deep down, her clearest thought was that they were going to end up hurting each other, or Uzi would hurt N and the guilt could lead her to suicide, or N would have to kill Uzi if Cyn took over her body.

This is why she clings to him with teeth and claws, and this gradually gets better as the series progresses. Evidence of this is in episode 6 when she sees N holding hands with Uzi and her only reaction is "agh" (How I love episode six!!!)

I’ve already talked more in-depth about the climax of episode six, which is a key moment for the character; if you want to go see it, I’ll leave it at the end of this post.

My theory of post-traumatic stress increases with chapter 8 when we see the true V for the first time—someone damaged, scared of all the damn traumas she carries, who has had to endure practically alone all the atrocities that Cyn committed at her expense, and above all, that what she did, she did for N (I have some issues with this chapter, but let’s ignore that for now).

This is where I cry because we realize that V had hope that—after doing her job, Cyn would leave them alone—she had faith of being free, and it could not bring me more satisfaction to know that (unlike J) she could find her freedom by ending what bound her, accepting her traumas, and fighting against them (literally), and finally finding a new life with the other two idiots.

The only people who, despite what she has done and her flaws, accepted and loved her.

To wrap up, I want to clarify something:

V IS somewhat psychopathic.

V DOES kill in cold blood.

V IS a diva.

But V is not just that; she is a complex character with layers and nuances and a girl who has suffered the atrocities of a pompous being who treats them as toys. I don’t expect to encompass all the psychology of the character in this summary (because I’m not a psychologist), but I hope I’ve done some justice for my favorite character UwU.

[Conclusion]

The truth is that I’m a bit saddened by V’s development. It’s not bad development by any means, but the potential she had was somewhat cut short due to the limited screen time. Although honestly, Liam is a fucking genius who managed to package such a beautiful series into eight episodes.

Thank you, Murder Drones; thank you for informing me, for allowing me to draw my lesbian ships, for making me laugh so many times and bringing me to tears so easily, thank you for the two years I spent alternating between making theories at three in the morning and waiting for the episodes, having to save money just to be able to download the episodes and download all the possible fanarts on Pinterest. Thank you so much, Murder Drones, for marking my life and... if possible, one day, to do you justice.

🧡

[the-winchester-s-guardian]

I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY ACTUALLY GOT PEP ON THE SHOW

HE INTERACTED WITH TED AND JAIME I’M SPEECHLESS AAAAAAH

THIS WAS ACTUALLY ME WATCHING THIS UNFOLD:

[thesparkling-diamond27]

Dancing Through Life

Fiyero Tigelaar x Reader

Summary: Y/n Upperland of the Upper Uplands, cousin to Galinda Upand, doesn’t have a problem with Fiyero Tigelaar, but that doesnt’t mean that she wants him around. However, after one simple walk with the Winkie Prince, Y/n discovers that he’s not so bad after all.

A/n: hi hi! I’m back with a Fiyero one shot, but that doesn’t mean that I’ve forgotten about the second Bridgerton and I. I’ve written two chapters so far over thanksgiving break and I might try to squeeze in one more chapter or at least half of one before I go back to school. I don’t really have enough time to write when I am at school, so the next time I’ll probably get back to writing during Christmas break which is in a couple weeks. Then I’ll finish the Bridgerton and I and I’m thinking about waiting to finish the Bridgerton and I completely before posting any more chapters, so the ff will probably be finished in December. I wrote this one shot because Wicked has been on my mind 24/7 and I can write whatever comes to mind, but for the Bridgerton and I have to sit down and rewatch Bridgerton episodes so that I can make sure I get all the words exactly right. I hope you guys continue to be patient as I try to finish it :).

I have recently seen the movie Wicked and plan to see 10 million more times because it is SO GOOD. Wicked is basically my whole personality at this point. I was already obsessed with Fiyero, but Jonathan Bailey as Fiyero made my obsession worse (but in a good way :)). And with this obsession comes a Jonathan Bailey Fiyero Tigelaar one shot. I hope you enjoy!! I also have a plan to write another one so stay tuned for that!

It was a beautiful day today, so after class I decided to read at my favorite spot: the bench under the oak tree. I loved it here because it was a peaceful place where I never got disturbed. Or so I thought.

I realized he was near when I heard the sound of boots stepping onto grass. It was only when his shadow blocked the words on the page that I finally looked up.

Fiyero looked down on me with curious eyes, but there was still a charming smile plastered on his face. I tried to hide how his smile affected me, but he must have noticed the change in my demeanor because his smile turned into a smirk.

I thought after my cousin Galinda introduced him to my brother and I earlier today would be the last time I saw him for the day. It appears the Winkie prince had other plans.

“Well what is Miss Upland doing under the oak tree?” He asked.

“Reading.” I held up my book for effect before I continued back to where I left off.

I saw him take a seat beside me on the bench in the corner of my eye.

“It’s Friday.” He continued.

I rolled my eyes. “I know. I can read calendars.” Fiyero chuckled at my blunt and snippy responses. He could clearly tell that I was annoyed by his presence, but he continued to talk anyway.

“It’s Friday and you are here reading under an oak tree. You should be out there having fun.” He used his hands to gesture to all the other students hanging out at the courtyard.

“This is fun to me.”

“School work is fun?”

“Well for your information this book is not for school it’s for me.”

“Well I believe you are filling your head with too many things. You’re thinking too much.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Well that’s not surprising coming from a prince like you.”

“A prince like me?” Fiyero gave a feigned pained expression. “I’m hurt that you would think that way about me.”

“Well I believe that you present yourself as self-absorbed and deeply shallow, but I don’t think you are. I think you use that as a front to hide the fact that you actually care and have thoughts.”

“Excuse me there’s no pretense here. I happen to be genuinely self-absorbed and deeply shallow.”

“Okay.” I said not believing him. I shut my book and stood from the bench. I finished the book I was reading and decided to go search for another one to read.

“Well I guess it was nice talking to you.”

I began to walk back to my room, but he blocked my path.

“Where are you going?”

“Back to my room to find another book.”

“Oh come on. Drop the book for once and have some fun.”

“No.”

I pushed past him and walked away without looking back. I was hoping he would leave me alone after that, but luck was not on my side today.

“Since you’re going back to your room, maybe I can save you the trouble of carrying your book all the way back.”

He grabbed the book from my hand before I could say anything.

“Hey give that back!”

I tried to grab the book back, but he raised the book above my head, so that I couldn’t reach and jumping up was no use. Fiyero was laughing at me struggling, so I sighed in defeat.

“Fine. You can help me carry my singular book up to my room.”

Fiyero was happy with my response because he was smiling from ear to ear. We were now standing nose to nose and I could feel his breath fan across my face. If I looked down I would have perfect access to his lips. Wait what was I thinking? I quickly backed away from him before I did anything stupid. Fiyero smiled down at me and said, “See now that wasn’t so hard now was it? Lead the way princess.”

I would he lying if I said I didn’t get affected by his words. Butterflies filled my stomach and I probably would have melted if I didn’t catch myself. What is wrong with me?

“Princess?”

“Yes princess. It suits you. Princess of the Upper Upperlands.” He said with a dramatic voice.

I was about to retaliate when a certain blondey came to mind.

“Shouldn’t you be calling Galinda princess?” I asked.

“Why would I do that?”

“Because you two are a thing.”

Fiyero chuckled. “I just met her this morning and besides I’m like this with everyone.”

My heart sunk at his words. So he was just treating me like everyone else? But why was I so upset about it? Just a few hours ago I wanted nothing to do with him and now I was disappointed that he’s not treating me differently.

“And if I called her princess then I wouldn’t be able to call you princess. Princess.” He said with a wink.

That definitely lifted my spirits. Sweet Oz! He was making feel a roller coaster of emotions. I could tell there will never be a dull moment with him.

I gave him a small smile but I looked down on the floor to hide it from him. I didn’t want him to notice that I started to warm up to him, but he saw the slight upturn of my lips.

“Well who knew that Miss Upland could smile. It’s a miracle!”

“Oh shut up!” I said, but you could hear the grin in my voice.

“Besides reading, what do you really do for fun?” I looked up at Fiyero and could tell that he truly wanted to know my genuine answer. So it seems that my premonition about him not being self-absorbed and deeply shallow was true.

“Umm…spending time with friends, swimming. Oh there’s a lake in the Upper Upperlands that my family and I go to every summer to cool off and it has such beautiful scenery. Not to mention the nearby ice cream shop…”

I stopped after I realized that I blabbered on. “I’m sorry I sort of got carried away.”

I looked up at Fiyero, but he didn’t seem bothered at all with my tangent. He actually seemed rather interested with what I had to say.

“No continue.” He said with an encouraging smile.

“No I’d rather not.”

I know he wanted to hear more, but he didn’t push me, which I was glad for. I was a little embarrassed with my little outburst.

“Well how about you discover a new way to have fun?” Fiyero said changing the subject.

“How?”

“Come with me to the Ozdust Ballroom tonight. The most swankified place in town.”

“Aren’t we not supposed to be off campus after dark?”

“Yes, but not being allowed to leave after dark makes it more fun!”

“I’ll pass.”

“Where’s your sense of adventure?”

“I left her at home.”

Fiyero paused before he burst into laughter.

“My joke wasn’t that funny.” But I couldn’t help but laugh along with Fiyero.

Fiyero paused again.“Your laugh.”

I took a few moments to recompose myself before asking, “What about my laugh?”

“It’s beautiful.”

I stopped walking and choked on air.

“What?” I asked, but Fiyero ignored me.

“Which way is your room?”

I realized that we have reached the dead end which separated into two hallways.

“This way.” I said as I begin to walk to the right. I walked a little faster to make this walk shorter. I have embarrassed myself way too many times in a such a short amount of time and I just wanted to smash my pillow in my face and scream. The rest of the way was silent until we reached my door.

“Well here we are. My humble abode.” I said. “Thank you for the uh…walk.”

“It was my pleasure. I hope to see you tonight at the Ozdust ballroom Miss Upland.

“Y/n.”

Fiyero smiled at my response.

“Y/n. I hope to see you tonight.”

I opened the door and was about to walk in, but I turned around instead.

“I know you like to put on the facade that you are this Winkie prince who doesn’t have a care in the world, but you’re also human. Yes you might be self-absorbed and shallow, but that’s not all of you and you have thoughts that should be shared. If you take away your crowd of admirers you’ll be left with the real you. If you want to continue with this role in front of everyone then that’s fine…,but you don’t have to be that way with me.”

Fiyero’s expression was unreadable, but I could have sworn I saw flickers of fear and appreciation.

“Y/n…I don’t know what to say.”

His hands fell to his sides and I realized that he still had my book. I slowly inched towards his hand and pulled the book from his grasp. But before I pulled away I took his hand in mine and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“You don’t have to say anything.” I said with a smile.

He nodded and with one last squeeze I pulled away and slowly closed the door shut.

—————————

I laid in my bed, for what seemed like hours, contemplating whether I should go to the Ozdust ballroom or not. I turned to my night stand to see that it’s only been a half hour. I groaned in frustration and covered my face with my pillow. Then I heard a knock at the door. I rose from my bed and opened it to see my brother Ezra.

“You. Me. Ozdust. Tonight.” He said as he entered my room.

“You know about that too?” I said as I shut the door.

“How do you know about it?” He asked curiously.

“I was invited.” I said as I plopped onto my bed. Ezra raised an eyebrow at my words and joined me.

“You were invited?! I wasn’t even invited! Who invited you?”

“So how do you know about it?” I asked avoiding what he asked me.

“I overheard some students talking about it, but don’t avoid the question. Who invited you?”

“Fiyero.”

Ezra’s eyebrows shot up to the ceiling.

“Fiyero Tigelaar of Winkie country? But you hate him.”

“I don’t hate him! Where did you get that impression.”

“When Galinda introduced us to him you didn’t seem to be too pleased with him.”

I thought back to the first impression I had of Fiyero when I first met him.

When he first stood in front of me I took a good look at him and he was exactly what I expected from a Winkie prince. He was dressed to the nines from head to toe. You could tell his blue jacket and pants were made to perfection and the gold accents were sewn with precision. His black polished boots were so shiny that you could even see your own reflection in them. And that was just his clothes.

Fiyero had an aura about him. It was as if he believed he always had to be the center of attention. Reminds me of someone that I know, but I know that Galinda has a heart. It was too soon to tell if he genuinely cares, but by the way he acted and the way the students nearby looked at him, I could already tell that his way of life to everyone else was fake.

Then he approached me later on in the day and I got to know him a little more. I soon realized that he wasn’t all so bad by himself. It was only when he was around everyone else where his walls come up and he acts out his facade.

“I guess I had a change of heart.” I finally answered.

“Uh huh. And how did Fiyero even get the chance to talk to you. The only way that can happen is if you two hung out alone.” Ezra said teasingly as he wiggled his eyebrows. I laughed at his antics.

“Fiyero might have interrupted my peaceful reading time earlier today and I got to know him a little more.”

“Oh?!”

“And before you say anything else there was nothing else to it. He offered to walk me back to my room and that’s when he invited me to the Ozdust ballroom. On our walk back I got to know him a little better and he’s not so bad by himself.”

“Hmm hmm.”

“Nothing else happened!”

“Hey I said nothing!” Ezra said as he lifted his hands to the sides of his face in defense. “But this means that you’re coming!”

“I didn’t say yes.”

“Why-“

“But I didn’t say no either. I’m still thinking about my answer.”

Ezra looped his arm with mine.

“Now I’m forcing you to come because I’m coming and I’m not going to have you sit pathetically in your room.”

“I’m not going to—“

“Ah uh. I won’t take no for an answer. And don’t say you don’t have anything to wear. Your wardrobe is almost as grand and big as Galinda’s.”

Ezra did have a point. I worried about my appearance and wardrobe just as much as Galinda, but I didn’t flaunt it as much as my cousin did.

“Come on.” Ezra grabbed my hands and pulled me up from my bed. He led me to one of my luggage’s that turned into a closet with the push of a button. Ezra pushed the button and pushed me towards my array of dresses.

“Well go on.” He prompted.

I stumbled upon the rack and begin to flip through my choices until I came across a dress that brought a smile to my face.

—————————

Ezra and I missed the boat that Galinda and Fiyero went on, so we arrived at the Ozdust ballroom a little later. I peeked over the corner and was in awe with what I saw.

The entrance of the ballroom had a ginormous staircase which led to the dance floor. At the end of the room was where a band of animals were playing the music. On the ceiling schools of fish were dancing in formation to the beat of the music. That’s when I realized that this ballroom was underwater. That was something I’ve never seen before.

Ezra and I began to walk down the staircase and I began to notice a lot of familiar faces from school.

“Do people come here often?” I asked Ezra. He first attended Shiz last year, so he had a whole year of experience before I came along.

“I would say so. It’s where most people go over the weekend, but this is the first time I’ve ever gone.”

I looked at him shocked. “Really?!”

“Yeah. I’ve never been invited and I’ve always wanted to go, but I never knew how to get here until I overheard those two girls talking today.”

“Well today’s your lucky day!” I said with a smile.

“Indeed it is.” He said with a chuckle. “Oh I see some of my friends I invited over there. Will you be okay on your own?”

“Yeah I will. Galinda should be around here somehere.”

“And Fiyero.” Ezra said with a glint of mischievousness.

“Yeah him too.”

Ezra laughed before he walked over to his two friends. Now I was left alone to fend for myself. I noticed a drink table on the side of the dance floor, so I made my way over there.

I had no idea what was in the glass, but it tasted quite good. I sipped quietly off to the side when I noticed a familiar figure approach me.

“Well if it isn’t Miss Upland.”

“Please don’t call me that.”

“Alright then. Princess.”

“Y/n.” I corrected him

“Princess Y/n.”

I figured it would be pointless so I gave up trying to correct him.

“I was almost starting to think you weren’t going to show up. What made you change your mind? Me?”

“Don’t be so full of yourself Fiyero. My brother forced me to come.”

“Aww so I can’t go around telling people that you’re my date tonight?”

I nearly choked on my drink, but I managed to regain my composure.

“Not a chance.”

“What a shame and to think I was going to ask you to dance.”

“I didn’t say no to that.” I said with a teasing smile. Fiyero looked shocked and glad that I was finally playing his game.

“Since you say so, I’ll just take this.”

Fiyero grabbed the drink from my hand and downed the rest of it before setting it on the table.

“Shall we?” He extended out his hand for me to take. I didn’t say anything, but I accepted his hand and he led me to the dance floor.

He began to twirl and whirl me around to the beat of the music and I found a couple laughs slip from my mouth. I haven’t had this much fun in a long time and I couldn’t believe that Fiyero of all people was making that happen.

One by one Galinda, Ezra, and his friends joined us as well. It was great to not care about the trivial things in life and simply dance through life as Fiyero likes to put it.

At one point the band slowed down the tempo of the music to a slower one and Fiyero gave me a knowing look. I looked back at Ezra and he winked at me before walking off the dance floor with his friends. I turned back to Fiyero and grabbed his hand. He gave me a beaming smiling, put his hands on my hips and began to move me across the ballroom floor.

“You know I’ve been thinking about what you said earlier today.” He said.

“About?” But I had an inkling about what he was talking about.

“About me pretending in front of everyone else.” I simply nodded and waited for him to continue.

“I guess I started doing it in order to hide my true depth of character. It was a way for me navigate the superficial social circles and get the chance to meet powerful people. I’ve done it for so long that I forgot what it’s like to just be me, but you were the first person to ever see through that.”

I took a moment to take in his words. It must have been exhausting to keep up that facade for so long. I felt bad for Fiyero. The fact that he felt the need to live like that.

“Well like I said you don’t have to pretend with me. I want to know the real Fiyero Tigelaar. Do you think you can manage to do that?”

“I can for you.”

Under normal circumstances I would have collapsed right then and there there, but that would do either of us no good. Fiyero had just finished telling me something he’s never spoken out loud before and I have to be the support he needs.

He twirled me around once more before pulling me right back into his arms. Then he brought his mouth up to my ear and whispered changing the subject.

“You look beautiful princess. I couldn’t take my eyes off of you tonight. I must say that blue is definitely your color. You are hands down the most beautiful one here.”

“I don’t think so.” I said as I looked down at the floor bashfully.

Fiyero grabbed my chin with his finger and brought my face up to look up at him.

“I beg to differ.” He grabbed a strand of my hair and pulled it back behind my ear. I felt his breath against my ear and shivers traveled down my spine. No boy has ever gave me as much attention as Fiyero has and I was at a loss with what to do. But in a strange way I knew exactly what to do, which is why I was bold enough to try something.

“Can I tell you a secret?” I whispered in his ear.

Fiyero looked confused, but he nodded anyway. I stood up on my tiptoes and went up to his ear, but at the very last second I grabbed his face and connected his lips with mine.

At first he didn’t responded, and I got so scared I got the message wrong, so I almost pulled away. However, he soon reciprocated the kiss and placed one hand firmly on my waist and the other framing my face. The kiss started simple, but then it became more intense. I would have kept on going, but then I remembered where we were.

I pulled away and looked around to see my brother looking at me with a knowing look as if he was saying I told you so. He mouthed, “And you said there was nothing else to it.”

“Shut up.” I mouthed back.

“Do you want to take this somewhere else? Away from the public eye.” Fiyero asked.

I looked up at his blue eyes and thought about being alone with Fiyero. Being able to hold him and kiss him to my hearts desire. I nodded with a smile.

Fiyero smiled back and interlocked our hands. Together the both of us walked out of the Ozdust ballroom without a care in the world and we simply danced through life.

[f1daydreamers]

𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐫𝐬 [𝐓𝐀𝟔𝟔] 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟒

gif credits: @trenty

Pairing: Trent Alexander-Arnold x Fem!Reader

Summary: Arne, in hopes to focus on his team’s mental health as much as their physical, recruits a younger but just as educated psychologist to work one-to-one with the more reserved players. Trent is one of them.

A/N: I have so many ideas for this series but I can't get too carried away otherwise its gonna end up longer than a book lmaooo, also super random but this idea came to me from rewatching Trent and Robbo’s wingmen episodes and in one of them he goes, “team bonding!” verryyy heavily in his Scouse accent lol

Warnings: fluff, mentions of being overworked but nothing too harsh, general stress, this is a cute one ok ur welcome

Word Count: 2.7k words (10 mins reading avg)

...

“Why you so sour for?”

You glanced up to see your sister plopping on to the sofa, grabbing the TV remote off of the glass table situated in front of you. Her expression was curious, eyebrows raised in an exaggerated arc. You’d forgotten you’d even put a movie on.

Closing your laptop, you ran your palm over the cool steel surface.

“No reason. It’s nearly time to go to bed, what are you doing?” You watched as she navigated the TV menu, opening the ITV app and clicking on Love Island.

You rolled your eyes. “Don’t tell me you like that stuff.”

She smirked, not taking her eyes off the screen as the latest episode began to play. “No one likes it, it’s just funny as fuck.”

“Hey, why do we need to swear?”

“For expression,” she replied with a shrug, as if that was a valid reason.

“Express yourself in other ways.”

“Like what?” She challenged, finally looking at you.

You paused, a little stumped. “The world is your oyster, go and find some.”

She snorted, clearly unimpressed with your wisdom. You hoisted yourself off of the couch, tucking your laptop back into your work bag and zipping it up.

Kaia paused the show, turning so her knees were on the sofa, looking over the backrest to see you better. “Fine, but that doesn’t answer why you’re in such a mood.”

“It’s just work,” you admitted, leaning against the counter. Your eyes traced the outlines of your sister’s old drawings hung on the wall. “A lot more pressure than I’m used to.”

Her eyes lit up with youthful curiosity. “How’s the job going? Met any really fit guys yet?”

You laughed, shaking your head. “Is that all you care about?”

“It’s important! C’mon, spill,” she insisted, leaning forward.

You sighed, but a small smile tugged at your lips. “The job is good. Stressful, but good. As for fit guys.. there's.. I don’t know, a few? I’m there to work, not flirt.”

“Sure, sure,” she teased.

You chuckled, tossing a freshly washed blanket you’d just pulled out of the dryer at her. “Oo, thanks,” she said, catching it with a grin.

You rolled your eyes as she sprawled out on the couch, the music of the show coming to life once again.

You pulled the rest of the sheets from the dryer, shoving them into the laundry basket to fold in the morning. As you wiped down the counters and finished the dishes in the sink, your mind wandered again.

Arne, Lee, and the club had all been incredibly supportive since your arrival, but the internal pressure you’d carried from university - to be the best, to never fail - was fading. Wataru, Conor, and Curtis were all doing great.

From your reports, you were instructed to make Trent the priority, at least to gather enough information for a new evaluation.

But how could you do that with a player who seemingly wanted nothing to do with you?

“Y/N?” Your sister’s soft voice calling your name pulled you out of your trance.

“Yeah?” You replied, turning to face the back of the couch.

The show paused again. A beat of silence hung in the air.

“No one’s giving you a hard time, are they?” She asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

Your eyebrows furrowed as you frowned, “of course not. Why would you think that?”

“We’re pretty notorious for being hated.” Sadness poked through the tone in her voice.

“Nobody hates us, Kaia. And no one is giving me a hard time at work, I promise.” You tried to sound reassuring. She was a kid and she meant well, of course she did, but she didn’t need to know the full truth. She was your sister, not a therapist.

“Okay. Cause you do know I’ll fuck ‘em up, right?”

You scoffed, shaking your head in amusement. She picked her head up to let you sit then rested it in your lap. You pulled her hairs away from her face, combing them back with your fingers.

“With your swears?” You teased.

“I got a mean punch."

“Which I hope isn’t being put to use, thank you very much.”

“I’m an angel, really.” Which she tried to pull off in an innocent way that really didn’t suit her.

“Mhm,” you hummed, sceptical but smiling.

She chuckled, turning her head to face the TV again.

“Come on, let’s watch this shit show.” You said playfully.

“I thought you said no swearing.” She retorted matter-of-factly.

“That rule doesn't apply to 25 and above people.”

“Let me guess, when you turn 26, that rule’s gonna be extended by a year?” Kaia asked, her lips curling upwards.

“Precisely.” You smiled down at her as she rolled her eyes, playing the show.

Your smile faltered almost immediately. You subconsciously continued smoothing over Kaia’s hair, but your mind was plagued with thoughts about work, and as much as you didn’t want to admit it, about him.

...

The first two matches of Liverpool’s season had come and gone in a flash. But, despite in how much of a blur it passed, the level of work every day only surmounted the work of the days before.

But you could take it. If you couldn’t handle psychology, you’d probably be useless at everything else.

The new week began, and the first thing you spotted in the mountain of emails was an update. Your cabinet for the office had arrived, courtesy of the club, who were happy to cover the costs once you'd submitted your request.

You swivelled your chair to face the desk phone, dialling reception downstairs. The phone rang twice before Annika's cheerful voice answered.

"Hello," she said brightly.

"Hey, it's Y/N from upstairs. I got an email saying my cabinet had arrived. Am I okay to collect it now?" You asked, glancing around your office and imagining where the new cabinet would go.

"Oh, don't worry," Annika replied with a smile in her voice. "We'll send someone up to drop it off for you."

"Really? It's honestly no bother," you said, feeling a bit guilty about causing extra work.

"No, I insist. They’ll be up shortly," she reassured you.

"Thank you, I appreciate that," you said, a note of relief in your voice.

"No worries!" Annika chirped.

You hung up the phone, feeling a bit lighter. Come to think of it, you really didn’t fancy carrying a ton of weight up the stairs and potentially embarrassing yourself to any bystanders.

Once you’d gone through your emails, creating your to-do list for the day, you patiently waited for your cabinet to come.

But it didn’t.

You tried to put it to the back of your mind, focusing on ticking off the first two items on your list before your first session. Yet, even as you checked them off, you found yourself glancing at the door, expecting the cabinet to arrive at any moment.

An hour passed, then another, and still no sign of the delivery. The anticipation was starting to wear on you.

You glanced at the clock situated on your desk, wondering if you’d be able to make it back in time for your session with Conor.

But just as you were ready to leave, there was a knock on your door. You walked over to open it, expecting only the Irishman. There he was, but also holding a large brown box with an outline of your cabinet on the front.

“Uh-” You couldn’t register what was happening.

“Mind if we come in? Don't fancy holding this all day.”

We.

You realised you hadn’t responded as Trent lifted his head to stare at you.

“Yeah, yeah. Sorry.” You opened the door, standing off to the side. You allowed them to come in and they placed the box upright against the wall.

"Annika mentioned she'd send someone up, I didn't think she meant the players." Conor chuckled, motioning to his trusted helper.

"Yeah, well, Brian was going to bring it up but he got busy so reception asked if we could help. We were coming up anyways," he explained.

“Oh. Thank you, I really appreciate it,” you said, your voice carrying a hint of genuine gratitude. You glanced at Trent, and a heavy silence ensued.

“Yeah, whatever,” Trent muttered, his tone dripping with indifference, leaving almost immediately. You let out a quiet sigh, your shoulders slumping ever so slightly.

Conor, who had been observing the exchange with a wry smile, exhaled through his nose in mild amusement.

“He’s warming up to you,” he retorted, his voice dripping with sarcasm. You rolled your eyes, trying to hide a smirk.

“Aw, you really think so?”

“Sure,” he replied with a grin.

“Sit down,” you said, gesturing to the chairs. You both laughed softly as you walked over to shut the door.

Yet, an unsettling frustration gnawed at you from within. Trent had always been distant, but after weeks of being here, he still showed no signs of letting his guard down. You were no stranger to the challenges of being a psychologist, it's not like this was your first job.

But in the past few days, self-doubt had crept in. You wondered if you were even fit for it; maybe the pressures of working for one of the most prestigious football clubs in the country were finally catching up to you and kicking you in the ass.

You shook your head, feigning a smile as you returned to your desk, starting your session.

...

“Is this upside down?” You muttered to yourself, flipping the instructions around again.

What use were instructions if they had no text under them?

You debated calling your dad, but the lecture you’d receive about the hours of manual labour he used to put you through every time a new piece of furniture arrived at the house was not worth it.

“Okay. Wood, screws, knob, cabinet. Perfect.” It was only a small one, so you weren’t worried about the height of it per se, just worried about everything else.

You slumped onto the floor, surrounded by longer and shorter pieces of wood with a bag of screws and one handy screwdriver that you were currently twirling between your fingers.

Just as you were about to try again, a voice broke through your concentration.

“What are you doing?”

You gasped, your hand instinctively going to your chest as the paper floated to the ground.

“Oh my God,” you exclaimed, breathless and startled. “Can you knock next time?”

“I did knock,” Trent replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“Did you?” Your eyebrows furrowed as you tried to recall when you heard a knock reverberate through your office.

“No.” He admitted.

You huffed, feeling a mix of annoyance and embarrassment at falling for his joke.

“Funny.” You mumbled, shaking your head.

To your surprise, he plopped onto the sofa situated by the side of the wall, near the door. Your eyebrows raised slightly.

Trent, sitting on your sofa, in your office, willingly? This was new. Only today, you were doubting yourself if you’d ever be able to get through to him and yet here he was.

You didn’t want to overanalyse the situation but it was hard to ignore the significance of it. Maybe he was finally starting to let his guard down, even if just a little.

There was a strange combination of nervousness and relief running riot inside of you.

Rather than drawing attention to it, you chose to stay focused on the task at hand, wary of saying anything that might reinforce his emotional walls.

“I’m trying to build a cabinet, if you must know.” You didn’t want to sound as annoyed as you were - not necessarily by the man you were conversing with, but more so by the wooden contraption that was puzzling you to your core.

He peered over the armrest, then slowly returned to his original position. “Making a lot of progress, it seems.”

“How nice of you to state the obvious,” you replied calmly, but your mind was racing.

“It’s late, how come you’re still here?” You asked, trying to make conversation. He just shrugged, pulling out his phone from his trouser pocket.

You gave a half-smile. Even if he wasn’t in the mood for conversation, he was still here, and that’s what mattered to you.

Ten, fifteen, twenty minutes passed by, and you were officially ready to give up. Resting your head against your desk, still seated on the floor, you were on the verge of admitting defeat and calling your dad.

Your attention was diverted by a soft creak from the sofa frame. Trent stood up, and you looked up at him, squinting as the ceiling light shone brightly.

“You heading out?” You asked, your voice tinged with resignation.

He took a small step to the right, blocking the light from hitting your eyes. He glanced around, as if debating something.

His mouth parted slightly.

“Move over.”

What?

“Huh?” you said, bewildered.

He tucked his bottom lip between his teeth, motioning to the pile of wood still stacked in various directions. “Move.”

“Why?”

“Why do you think?” He replied blandly, yet still entertaining your conversation. A few weeks ago, he would’ve murdered you.

You glanced down at your cabinet, which was rather resembling modern art, then back up at him.

“Are you suggesting women can’t build things?” You asked, raising an eyebrow.

He tilted his head downward, shoving his phone back into his pocket. “Women can. It’s just you that can’t. Wanna disagree?”

Your pressed your bottom lip up to your top, as if you were actually considering the idea. “I’d love to argue, but you’re lucky I’m too tired right now. Maybe come back tomorrow and we can pick up where we left off.”

“Move over or I’m leaving,” he said, a touch more firmly.

“Okay, okay. Sorry.” You chuckled.

You scooted over, making room for Trent to sit beside you. He settled on the floor, crossing his legs. There was a fair amount of distance between you.

You found yourself stealing glances at him as he took a look at the instructions a few times, feeling a mix of relief and gratitude for his unexpected help.

His presence was a welcome distraction.

You couldn’t deny you were entirely useless as he separated the pieces, lining them up to get a full look at everything, ensuring nothing was absent.

“Screwdriver?” He asked for quietly and you cast a quick look around, spotting it underneath a plank of wood.

“Here.” His fingers brushed yours as he took it from you, a touch that you were acutely aware of but one he didn’t seem to think twice about.

Whenever your knees brushed while adjusting the cabinet or while holding it in place, you could feel the warmth of his proximity, which only heightened your perception of him.

After some time, the cabinet stood completed. You couldn’t help but smile proudly at the result.

Trent glanced at your beaming face and quickly looked away, as if unsure how to react. The fleeting moments of physical contact had created a soft tension in the air.

You tilted your head, deciding to tease him while you still had the chance. “Does it look a bit bent or is it just me?”

He barely looked at the cabinet, already ready to fire a response back. “It’s just you.”

You scoffed, your eyes meeting as he extended the screwdriver back toward you. You swallowed as you took it, another brush of hands.

It was brief and unexpected but he too registered it this time. He briefly tensed but stood up quickly after.

You just about scrambled to your feet after him, placing your screwdriver on your desk.

Before he could leave, you called out, “thank you.”

He turned to give you a simple nod, brushing off your gratitude.

“I mean it. Not just for building this,” you gestured toward the cabinet, “but for being here. I’m always happy to see you.”

A silence befell you both, but it didn’t feel awkward or uncomfortable as it had before.

“If you don’t mind my asking, how come you came here?”

He thought about his answer for a second, wanting to correctly word it.

“Saw you struggling through the door. Thought you were finally having a heart attack or something.”

You paused for a second, slowly nodding your head. “Couldn’t miss it, huh?”

At that, Trent’s lips curved into a genuine smile as he looked away from your eyes, the first smile you’d seen from him that was actually for you.

It was a subtle, upward curl, softening his usually serious expression.

You mirrored his smile, it was hard not to. Perhaps you’d leaned forward, or your shoulders had finally relaxed, but you weren’t focused on the specifics.

“See you round, psychologist.”

You hummed, afraid that even if you opened your mouth, nothing would come out.

You watched him walk away, your eyes falling to the cabinet against the wall.

Seeing him smile, just smile at you, was a moment you wouldn’t forget so soon. It was as if a dam had burst, releasing a flood of relief and hope you’d nearly given up on.

But before you could think about it further, your phone buzzed. It was Kaia, asking when you’d be home.

You hadn’t even realised what time it was.

“Shit.”

…

Part 5

Masterlist

Comment below if you want to be part of the taglist! Once you are part of it, you'll be reminded for every part of the series until its completion!

Taglist: @trentwife @bluebreadenthusiast @julovesurmom @blubsberries @remmysthings @heyjudeb @keepitabuckxx @vivi-grace @hoddystark @hiireadstuff @trentione @missusstark @iamasimpingh0e @xxxstormyninixxx @lolawwww22 @myloveisforbellingham @purpleniight @bffrwme

[pommedepersephone]

Buck up, Hamlet! or how Aziraphale and Crowley's blocking helps communicate the evolution of their relationship

Can we talk about the blocking?

Specifically, I have been rewatching S1E3, one of my favorites. I love how the development of the relationship between Aziraphale and Crowley is shown through these little vignettes. There have been some great explorations of the costuming and dialogue, but what always strikes me is the BLOCKING. The way their placement and movements add such depth and tell the story of living as a queer person, having to communicate in coded language.

Through the episode, we get 4500 years of history - Eden, Mesopotamia, Golgatha, Rome and Wessex - to see Aziraphale and Crowley standing on their opposite sides. Aziraphale always on the right, Crowley always on the left. But after the Arrangement, their blocking changes drastically and becomes much more fluid and nuanced. Each scene after this is distinct but the scenes in at the Globe and the Bastille have the most development, and I find myself rewatching them A LOT. Here is what I see. 

All the World's a Stage

This is the first meeting we see that isn’t a chance encounter, though the two try to stage it as such. It takes place in a theatre - and they are acting, playing their roles as demon and angel. Even the humans are complicit in this performance, with Shakespeare stepping in to address the two "in your roles as the audience." Oh, delicious.

But once it's been firmly established for anyone watching that they AREN'T friends, they DON'T know each other (cough cough) the following moves are clearly choreographed and have been played out many times before. Crowley sashays to the right, opening the dance, and Aziraphale accepts the invitation to dance with: “What do you want?” 

“Why ever would you insinuate that I might possibly want something?” Crowley is just playing his role as cheeky demon offering up a temptation - but his position to the right of Aziraphale speaks to the fact that they are both very complicit in this performance.

“You are up to no good.”  “Obviously. And you are up to good, I take it? Lots of good deeds?” Just standard character establishment, here.

“No rest for the, well, good." Ah, this line, the inversion of the well known idiom. Because the line between good and evil (and between angel and demon) maybe aren't so distinct, and Aziraphale acknowledges this with his words. We are moving into negotiations now. "I have to be in Edinburgh at the end of the week. A couple of blessings to do, and a minor miracle to perform. Apparently, I have to ride a horse.”

“Ah hard on the buttocks, horses. Major design flaw, if you ask me. I’m meant to be headed to Edinburgh too this week. Tempting a clan leader to steal some cattle.” The way Crowley moves AROUND Aziraphale here, intimate but also careful, watching for his reactions.

“Doesn’t sound like hard work.” Said with a little sideways look, because Aziraphale can see where this is going. And he's open to suggestion temptation.

“That was why I thought we should… well, bit of a waste of effort. Both of us going all the way to Scotland.”

“You cannot actually be suggesting what I infer you are implying?” A little bit of pretense, because Aziraphale has to pretend to be tempted, right?

Crowley presses. “Which is?” Because he is willing to play the part of tempting demon, but only if it is clear this is a farce, that this is indeed mutually agreeable. He is making sure they are doing the same dance.

"That one of us goes to Edinburgh and does... both. The blessing and the tempting."

Yes, they are doing the same dance, and what is left is the formality of concluding the dance - a moment of Aziraphale expressing his concern for Crowley, the coin toss - they both know how it ends. It's a ritual, an act of give and take.

But if it were ONLY the Arrangement, a simple quid pro quo, it would have ended there. It doesn't. Instead, the two offer each other a more intimate exchange - "It'd take a miracle to get people to come and see Hamlet."

Aziraphale doesn't even have to ask with words, just a look, and Crowley happily agrees. That is the final part of the dance, a small acknowledgement that this isn't just about making their jobs easier.

A Free Man in Paris

Paris is something else. This is a HUGE step beyond making sure that audiences like a show your angel is particularly fond of. This is a stolen dangerous moment, an OUTRAGEOUS flirtation that takes place outside of time, conducted in clear view of others but beyond their understanding. Isn’t that how their entire relationship is now conducted, hidden in plain view and so clearly affectionate? 

And look, Aziraphale is BITCHY in this scene. Peak That Bitch. He's just purchased a bookshop, he's creating a very permanent place for himself here on earth - Aziraphale is feeling quite proud of himself. In fact, he's preening a bit that he has figured out how to exist, even in some small limited way, as himself within the confines of the system of Heaven. Buuuut he may have gone just a bit too far, and gotten himself in a spot of trouble. He has landed in a prison, threatened with "death" and stuck because he's already gotten a warning about being frivolous with his miracles. Oh jolly good that Crowley is here to save the day!

There is something raw being communicated here here, where both Aziraphale and Crowley are presenting themselves to the world in ways that are dangerous. Aziraphale's reaction tells us that Crowley's look is doing things to him, but also in a way that it is NOT socially appropriate. Aziraphale may have showed up in all the trappings of an English aristocrat, but here is Crowley as a French royal sympathizer. NEITHER of these are safe choices in the middle of a revolution. The costuming is so critical to fully appreciating this scene, so check out the amazing clothing overview with @cobragardens.

When Crowley arrives and stops time, he and Aziraphale find themselves situated facing one another, but angled so they aren’t facing straight on. Interestingly, from Crowley’s perspective, he is where he is supposed to be - the left of Aziraphale. But Aziraphale, from his perspective, is also to the left of Crowley. It was Aziraphale after all who initiated this situation, who put himself in danger by being too… Aziraphale. It’s dangerous to be yourself when you don’t fit into heteronormative social expectations, isn’t it? Still, the two keep up a very flirtatious banter as they discuss the situation, and Crowley maintains his very-intentionally-unbothered sitting position up until Aziraphale goes too far and thanks him for coming to his rescue.

While Crowley is also flirting with danger in the way he is dressed, he also didn't just pop over for a nibble dressed this way. And whatever he might have been up to was interrupted so he could rescue Aziraphale from the consequences of his own reckless authenticity. After removing the chains, Crowley pushes Aziraphale to reconsider his honest expression of himself in this exact place and time - for the sake of survival.

Aziraphale, willing to risk himself alone, rather quickly adopts a more acceptable appearance when it might impact Crowley. It is only after Aziraphale is safely disguised and returned to his proper place to the right of Crowley, ONLY then does Crowley restart time. They can go enjoy lunch now, with the proper precautions and masks in place.

For these two particular human-coded occult beings, this is also such an honest moment. They both showed up damn authentically - Aziraphale so fabulously ostentatious, focused on chasing down some pleasure (in this crepes) and Crowley wrapped in a clear protest against the current violence. Just as Aziraphale indicated with his "Oh good LORD" as he looked the demon up and down with obvious thirst, Crowley's request to Aziraphale to change his appearance and mask better is done in such a way that affirms that Crowley LIKES who Aziraphale is without the mask.

The scene is so playful on the surface, the body language and dialogue flirtatious. It's something so familiar to the queer experience, making light of the absolute danger that we must sometimes navigate just to exist. The more I watch it, the more obsessed I become.

A Spot of Bodysnatchin'

It is worth remembering that we didn't get this scene in S1.

I am going to go through it soon, because again they dance back and forth beautifully in this minisode, but suffice to say we all know... it didn't end well for Crowley.

No Walk in the Park

The moment in St. James Park is brief, and it wasn't until S2 and the meeting at Edinburgh that we got the full context for this meeting. But even without this, we can clearly see that things are weighing heavily on Crowley. The scene in the Bastille took place in a prison, with the threat of execution over their heads. The juxtaposition of this conversation taking place in a park - a place that is not only NOT inherently dangerous but looks lovely and welcoming - only highlights the change in Crowley's attitude. He still attempts to be playful, but he's afraid. Look at that paper, it's a bit crumpled, he's been carrying it around for a while.

They are firmly entrenched on their assigned sides for the entire conversation, both very stiff. It feels uncomfortable to watch. When Aziraphale refuses his request, and indicates whatever is between them is just "fraternizing" with the enemy, we get a glimpse of how fearful Crowley really is. In none of these flashbacks has Crowley ever spoken to Aziraphale with the anger we see here. When they part in anger, it feels wrong.

Take Me to Church

So there is a long break between meetings now. But then, ah, the church. The place Aziraphale realizes his feelings. (Look, if Michael says this is where Aziraphale realized he'd fallen in love, I am not here to argue.) What I love is that again we see Crowley and Aziraphale swapping sides. Crowley is here to save his wayward angel, AGAIN. Despite feeling the ill effects of walking on consecrated ground, Crowley is here to save his angel and defeat Nazis. It's definitely not remotely evil intentions.

It isn't like the Bastille, but some of the parallels exist - Aziraphale failing to grasp the risks of his actions. And the silliness of his little dance coupled with just how deadly serious this situation is harks back to their flirtations in the prison.

Crowley is to the right of Aziraphale from the time he arrives until the bomb drops. Then in the rubble, with the danger past, we see them on their assigned sides again. UNTIL Crowley hands Aziraphale the books he saved with a "little demonic miracle of my own." He then crosses Aziraphale, and we see the look of absolute adoration as the angel watches him walk away to the right.

Sweeeeeet baby Jesus, baby girl has it BAD.

Always Crashing in the Same Car

This extremely heartbreaking scene has been dissected, chewed over, breaking our little hearts with it's sharp pieces.

But it is purposeful that this scene took place in the Bentley. Being in the car is symbolic because Aziraphale is here making an offering to Crowley, in his space, something that he Aziraphale feels is WRONG which is highlighted by his placement to the left of Crowley. He is scared, acting against all his own desires, but he does it anyway because he cares for Crowley. It's simple, powerful placement. Need to hurt more? Yeah, thought so. Take a deeper look at the dialogue with @zionworkzs.

[legiblyloathed]

Ain’t He Darling? (Chapter 1)

Yandere! Wally Darling x Reader

A/N: Okay, so the little blue haired menace has been rotting my brain for the past week, sue me. I tried to get him out of my brain by rewatching Gravity Falls, only for the episode “The Hand that Rocks the Mabel” to inspire a whole fanfic. Straight up water on a grease fire. Anyway, enjoy.

Next

I always forget how much of a hassle moving is until it’s time to actually do it. Weeks spent selling and giving away half of my belongings, trying to shove the rest of them into boxes, then taking all of them into a new location only to have to figure out where all of them should go in the new space; it’s on the list of most mundane yet stressful life events a person has to put themselves through.

These were the feelings that hung around my being like a dark cloud for the past few weeks, but now, as I finally set my final knickknack in its chosen spot, I can feel the sun breaking through. I stand up and stretch as hard as I can, trying to wring the residual tension out of my spine. Even with my reduced number of belongings, it’s a lot of work to unpack them all, especially when working alone.

I didn’t have to do all the work myself. Within minutes of hauling stacks of boxes into my new house, I’d been approached by numerous rather colorful people, all very keen to lend a hand. As the newest neighbor in town, I was a curiosity to them, after all. I’d declined the offers, not wanting to place any burdens on the shoulders of my new potential friends. Looking back on it, that wasn’t my smartest move. Or maybe that’s just my aching muscles talking.

I’m dragged out of my tired contentment by the sound of a knock on the front door. Relaxing with a heaving sigh, I stroll over and peer out the peephole. Standing on my porch is a large, multicolored bird. My eyes dart to the plate of cookies balanced in her wings. With newfound excitement, I yank open the door and greet her with a smile.

The bird almost appears startled at this, the cookies on the plate jostling as she jumped. “Oh dear!” She shuffles the plate to her left hand, her right settling upon her chest as if to calm her heart. “You startled me for a moment!”

I give her a sheepish grin. “Sorry about that, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Settling down, she waves her free wing dismissively. “Nothing to apologize for, I’m a bit prone to fright, is all.” As if remembering their existence, she extends the plate of cookies towards me. “I just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood! I do hope you like them!”

“I’m sure I will!” I pull the plate from her grasp and hold it carefully to my chest, my mouth watering at the sugary smell. “They look and smell delicious, thank you so much…” I trail off, realizing in embarrassment that I never caught her name.

She seems to sense my hesitation, and beams in reassurance. “My name’s Poppy, Poppy Partridge.” I give her my name, mentally thanking her for the help. “It’s very nice to meet you, we haven’t had any new neighbors in a long time.”

“Really?” My head tilts to the side. “Why not? This place is beautiful.”

“Oh, I can’t say myself,” she sighs. “Suppose there’s just not much to around here.”

I shrug, trying to appear lighthearted. “It’s a pity.” She nods in agreement, and the conversation begins to lull. Not wanting to leave on such a sour note, I ask, “Out of curiosity, what do you like to do around here?”

“Me?” she squawks, looking taken aback. She fidgets with her feathers, her wings wringing around each other. “I suppose I like to bake, especially when the weather’s nice enough for a picnic.” I can almost see the lightbulb turn on above her head, and she turns her much cheerier gaze to my own. “Say, the rest of us were planning on a picnic this afternoon! Care to join us? It’d be a good time to meet your new neighbors.”

A sense of anxiety washes over me. The idea of being among that many strangers with such late notice flutters around in my stomach like butterflies. Without thinking, I begin to shift back and forth on my feet. “I… I don’t know, it’s very sudden…”

The bird wilts a bit, looking down at my porch. “Oh dear, it is, isn’t it? You must still be so busy with unpacking.”

I look up at her, my anxiety curdling into regret at her disappointment. I reconsider the situation. What’s an hour or two with a handful of strangers? There’s only nine houses in this town, counting my own, I can handle it. Having made up my mind, I shake my head. “No, no, I already finished unpacking. I’ll be there.”

Poppy perks up. “You will?” I smile, hoping she can’t see the hesitation in it. “That’s wonderful news!” She flaps her wings in excitement before stopping with a gasp of realization. “I have more baking to do, than! I’d better get going,” she says, turning to leave with one last wave of her big red wing. “I’ll see you soon, neighbor!”

“See you soon!” I shout back, waving with the hand that wasn’t clutching the plate of cookies. As she goes further from my field of vision, I feel myself slump, the excitement of a new friend and a batch of treats wearing off to remind me of my exhaustion. My hand falls limp to my side and I stare at the plate in contemplation.

Nap? Or snack?

I pluck a cookie from the tray and take a bite, feeling myself melt at the incredible flavor. I scarf the rest of the sweet down before heading back inside, picking up another one as I go. Maybe just a few before I rest up.

—————————

I snap up on my couch, almost falling off of it in my sudden awakening. What time is it? A quick glance at the clock on my wall reveals it to be mid-afternoon, and I throw myself off my resting place so fast I nearly hit the floor. I scramble to the window and see a small crowd of people in the distance, the sounds of talk and laughter wafting in through the glass. I let out a sigh of relief. At least I wasn’t… that late. After a quick change and a once over in the mirror, I hurry out the door and towards the picnic.

As I approach, the jolly sounds become clearer, with voices all chattering their cares away. Colorful blankets are scattered across the clearing, each rife with sandwiches and sweets. I really hope they aren’t upset that I didn’t bring anything. As I scan my surroundings, I pick out Poppy as she talks with a caterpillar and head in her direction, relieved at the semi-familiar face.

As if on cue, my way is blocked by a short girl in a pink dress dragging along a disgruntled looking man with a bowtie. “Ooh, you must be the new neighbor!” she squeals, bouncing up and down in place, hands flapping in front of her chest. “We were so worried you weren’t gonna come! I’m Julie Joyful, and this,” she says as she grabs the arm of the man next to her, “is Frank Frankly! Say hi, Franky!”

“Uh… hello.” I pondered briefly if I looked as awkward as poor Frank did as he gave me a small wave. “It’s very nice to meet you.”

“Feeling’s mutual,” I respond. As Julie begins to babble about her excitement, my eyes move to drift over the rest of the strangers. The vast majority are split off into their own small groups, with a single exception. Sitting on a bench under a large apple tree is a man who seems to be studying me the same way I’m studying him. One of his legs is crossed over the other, supporting his elbow as he rests his chin on his hand, staring at me with an intensity that sends a small shiver down my spine. And either I’m going crazy, or his lazy smile broadens ever so slightly at that.

I’m startled out of my impromptu staring contest by Julie, who seems to have noticed that I wasn’t listening and cranes her neck to see what I’m looking at. “Oh, have you met Wally yet?”

I shake my head. “No, not yet.” It takes all the willpower in my body not to meet those eyes that I can almost feel lingering on me.

The girl grins, grabbing my wrist. “Come on, you gotta meet him! I bet you two will get along like two peas in a pod!”

She begins to force me from my spot, and I feel myself start to panic. Before she can pull me away to the creepy man, Frank reaches out and stops her in her tracks. “Say, Julie, they don’t look too keen on it. Maybe they should take it slow, meet the others on their own time?” He gestures broadly to the snacks left sitting around. “They haven’t even gotten anything to eat yet, after all.”

Julie looks surprised at the intervention, a flash of guilt going over her face. “Oh my, you’re right, Frank! I’m so sorry, neighbor, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable!” At my dismissive hand wave, she changes course, instead pulling me to the piles of food. “Poppy told me she gave you some cookies, but just you wait ‘til you try her pie!” I turn to look at Frank, mouthing a ‘thank you’ at the grumpy looking man. He smiles a bit with a reassuring nod, and the three of us settle down on a blanket. For the rest of the picnic I eat while the two of them (mainly just Julie with the occasional comment from Frank) talk about all kinds of things.

I try hard to pretend I can’t feel the eyes burning into the back of my head.

—————————

The sound of a steady, rhythmic knock wakes me up the next morning. I rub the sleep from my eyes, noting with absent mind how high the sun had already risen. The three slow knocks reverberate through my house once again, and I roll out of bed and head towards the front door, not bothering to change out of my pajamas or even look through the peephole. This, as it turns out, is a bad move on my part.

I yawn as I open the door, only for it to become a strangled cough as I lock eyes with the one resident I didn’t want to see this early. The man, or Wally as Julie had called him, stood on my porch, his face as eerily relaxed as ever. His posture was straight, his clothes neat, his appearance put together; I don’t think he could be any more of a contrast to my current state if he actively worked towards it. Which, to be frank, I suspect he did.

Just like the last time I’d encountered him, the two of us looked as if we were having a staring contest. Unlike last time, however, this time he decides to break the silence. “Hi, neighbor.” His voice is soft and monotonous, each syllable dragging along in no hurry. “Did I wake you up? I’m sorry.”

Somehow, I doubt that. In an attempt to relieve the strange tension, I let out a stilted laugh. “Yeah, you did, but it’s fine. I overslept, anyway.” He hums in acknowledgement, and it takes a few long seconds for me to realize he doesn’t plan on responding. Eager to hurry along this interaction so I can dart back into my house and hide from those piercing eyes, I prompt, “Something I can help you with, Wally?”

He tilts his head. “I never told you my name.”

“Yeah, no, you uh, you didn’t. Julie told me yesterday. At the… the picnic.”

“Oh, right. You three looked like you had a good time.”

“We did! We did…”

“Hmm.” His smile stretches, looking pleased by that confirmation. “Well, I’m glad to hear you’re settling in okay. I’ve heard it can be awful hard to make new friends, but you have a way of drawing people in, huh?” Cutting me off before I can ask for elaboration, Wally continues. “Speaking of drawing, I was hoping you might join me for some painting today, down by the south woods.”

“Oh!” I blurt out, taking a moment to process the invitation. “I’m not exactly much of an artist, myself.”

He laughs, and it’s every bit as emphatic as the rest of his speech. “Oh, neighbor, that doesn’t matter. We all start somewhere, and besides, I’d like the company.”

I consider turning him down flat, but something tells me he’s a bit too persuasive for me to keep him at bay forever. With a grin so forced it hurts, I say, “Sounds like fun! I’ll be there.”

Wally’s head bobs in a slow nod, and he takes a step back from the door. “I’m glad to hear it. See you soon, neighbor.”

I return the nod and raise a hand in a brief wave. “See you soon.” His stare remains, and just as I ready myself to ask him to stop, he finally, finally, turns away and walks away, humming a quiet tune to himself.

I step inside and close the door, leaning my forehead against it as I recover from the encounter. My stomach growls, but I feel as though I’ve lost my appetite. The inexplicable dread in my heart squashes any hope of breakfast. I close my eyes, but even then I can still see his own staring back, unblinking in their ceaseless observation. With a shudder, I push myself up, trying my best to steel my nerves. It’s just a little art lesson, I chastise myself. So he’s a little spooky, it’s probably fine.

No matter how many times I repeated those three words to myself, the memory of those eyes seems to peer right through the lie.

[isagrimorie]

Speculating more on Agatha’s siphon powers spurred on by Agatha’s appetite.

I’m spitballing here but could it be possible the reason why Wanda’s Hex became distorted wasn’t because Wanda is “gone” but because Agatha is unconsciously feeding on the residual magic that comes from a Scarlet Witch spell?

It took Three years for the spell to lose its efficacy, enough for Agatha’s subconscious to nudge it from Nosy Neighbor to Detective Agnes.

In episode 9, Agatha told the Forest Witch that she and Nicky haven’t eaten in a while. On rewatch, it struck me how quickly Agatha siphoned the witches. She didn’t even let herself have one minute before she provoked them to attack her.

Instead she left the witches’ encampment with only a cup of soup, and seemingly, a peaceful, healthier Baby!Nicky.

Does Nicky also have some of Agatha’s siphon abilities?

When Nicky asked about why Agatha killed witches, Agatha said it was to survive. It sounds like a paranoid justification especially paired with Agatha saying, they would kill us.

“Us” and not just her. But Agatha and Nicky.

And then, Alice died because Agatha has been magick starved for three years and the sudden blast of magic must have been like water in the middle of a desert.

Or, a starved vampire getting fed with blood for the first time. And Alice wasn’t even enough for Agatha to top up.

Agatha telling Lilia she needs to restock is a lot more chilling now. Lilia survived a garden variety vampire only to encounter Agatha, a special kind of witch vampire hybrid. A succubus.

The only reason Agatha was able to switch off her siphon ability with Billy is because Maximoffs with Chaos Magic is a bottomless source of food. And, apparently siphoning from one Maximoff witch for a short time is equivalent to draining 4 witches at the same time.

It’s so fascinating and sad that Agatha’s source of ‘magickal food’ are her own fellow witches.

How is that going to affect ghost!Agatha? Is that siphon ability just limited to her physical body or is she going to have a different problem altogether and become a hungry ghost if she doesn’t get to feed?

*Magickally, I mean. Agatha does still need regular food. But it looks like food isn’t a complete meal for her.

But also, Agatha scarfing down thar corndog is such a great acting choice. Agatha is a person of many appetites and underneath that facade is a woman who always hungers.

I want to know more about the mechanics of Agatha’s siphoning / succubus powers work! Especially since its tied to her appetite, and now that as Jac mentioned in that House of R interview, apparently her ability has evolved into touch.

And that’s how Agatha absorbed Death’s powers.

It used to be just a defensive power, if she has a physical body again, she can just reach out and touch to absorb someone’s powers.

[sophies-junkyard]

NOBODY ASKED but… Obviously Simon’s arc in adventure time solidified the series as one of greatest of all time (and I’m so hyped for this ice king sadness renaissance) but now I’m thinking of OTHER Adventure Time moments that rewired my brain as a kid. In no particular order:

1. “Once the strong guys got it how they liked it they said ‘this is fair now. This is the law.’ Once they were winning they changed the rules”. They really had the cartoon dog say that on tv in 2014.

2. “People get built different. We don’t have to understand it, we just gotta respect it”

3. The entirety of All The Little People. That shit was absolutely nuts for a kids show but also like…. I can’t articulate the lesson I just know there was one and it haunted me. The danger of the human ego. Hubris. Irreverence. Don’t play god bro.

4. Lady and Peebles. When PB ripped Ricardio’s leg off and bashed his skull in with it. And it was so hardcore they edited it out of the episode. Bro. I remember watching that after school one day and how my jaw just DROPPED at a PRINCESS being so brutal. They let her be so fucking angry and that was a game changer.

5. [Finn, about a horrific memory] “that one’s going in the vault. Aaaaaaaaaandd. It’s gone.” I quote that CONSTANTLY. It’s a great way to bring levity to a bad situation, but also forces me to go “hey wait a sec that’s not gonna work forever”. Things don’t stay in the vault.

6. Puhoy. He lived an entire life in that pillow world. He had kids. And then it’s just gone like a dream.

7. The deer. It was probably my first real introduction to horror. The hand wiggle. You all know exactly what I’m referencing. Were the candy people stuck in that well for 6 months???

8. What Was Missing!! Obviously now because it foreshadowed (and confirmed past) Bubbline, but back then just because it was so good??? IMO, this is the episode that defined WHO our main cast was, and how their relationships needed to grow for them to be content. It set up the next 6 years of the show! Plus it gave us 2 absolute BANGERS. Ugh i rewatched that recording so many times it wasn’t even funny.

9. Ghost Princess. Really just for the line where he sounds like he’s gonna shit his pants remembering his death and then in a clear narrator voice he’s like “I was a broken man.”

10. The pajama war episode. Now I’m doing this from memory so I could be wrong, but I think this really marks the start of Finn growing up. “I’ve really enjoyed just… hanging out with you.” The ability to start over with someone you’ve got complicated history with. The kindness. The growth from both of them!! It’s a direct parallel of episode 1 but their tones couldn’t be more different and I love it.

11. The slow and horrifying realization that The Mushroom War was nuclear Armageddon. Mushroom clouds. That went so far over my head as a kid even though they reference it constantly. It finally clicked during “I remember you”. Which I am NOT gonna go into because holy fuck that’s like 18 posts on its own.

12. Goliad! A child mirroring EVERYTHING they see, for better or worse. Seeing Jake in a bad moment screaming at the kids and goliad absorbing that behavior. Seeing she can use fear to control people. Also PB was Fucking Crazy! Her line “I’m not gonna live forever… I would if I could” is even more unhinged when we learn (like years later) that she’s already 900 years old. But she does physically age so I guess there’s that. The Suitor also falls into this category of episodes.

Ok getting into some of the more talked about moments

1. OK I LIED I have to talk about I remember you. I was 11 years old. I turned on the new adventure time episode like usual. 10 minutes later I was grappling with a grief I had never imagined before. Absolutely BAWLING not just for Simon and Marceline (the PLOT), but for what it showed me. The reality that every kid tries not to think about: your loved ones will leave you someday, even if they don’t want to. It’s an episode that becomes more powerful with every year I get older. To get a bit personal, dementia has completely taken my grandparents from me. I’ve seen sides of my grandfather that should never have existed, and I must constantly forgive him for what he does… now that he doesn’t remember me. And someday it’ll be my parents. That’s just the way of the world, ya know? Anyways, I remember my mom got home right as the credits were rolling and we had a long talk about keeping people alive with memory, mortality, and how the future was far away and we should decide on dinner lmao.

2. The Hall of Egress. I was almost 15. Life was changing. I was changing, and it was strange and frightening. That feeling where you know you’re losing your childhood but you just want to cling to it. Follow the same old familiar path, stick with what’s comfortable. But life doesn’t work that way. It took me years to really understand this episode and it’s symbolism. Honestly I still don’t think I could fully explain it. It’s like. How do I put this. I was so glad to be in the target age group in that moment. I was so glad that something I was growing up with was assuring me “you’re changing, but we’re changing too”. And isn’t that the theme of adventure time? Everything stays, but it still changes.

3. The absolute horror of Ferns existence. He’s Finn, but he’s wrong and warped. All those memories of the people he loves and they can’t stand to be in the same room as him.

4. Susan Strong. The introduction of a RUNNING PLOT. The show up to that point had really been so goofy and so monster of the week. I think the only really plot heavy episode before this one was It Came From the Nightosphere? And then suddenly they call into question the fact that Finn really is the ONLY HUMAN in all of OOO. And then… is he? It was SUCH a departure from the usual tone. Ending that episode with him reaching below her hat and gasping in shock, but never telling the audience what he found. And then she’s just gone. Which leads us to Islands!

5. Min and Marty. Second saddest episode in the entirety of adventure time, made worse because you know exactly how this family is gonna end up. There’s SO MUCH to dissect about Martins behavior in the series. A reformed con artist receives a traumatic brain injury while attempting to save his son. They’re both lost at sea, and he never looks for him. Was it the emotional trauma? Was it the physical damage? Meanwhile a mother loses her husband and her child in a single night and never EVER learns why. Nobody but Martin knows what happened that night. Also Finns fear of the ocean from season 1 is finally explained. 7 years of ignoring Finns origins and then they throw you THIS??? Watching it live was unreal.

Anyways I’m sure I’ll think of more. I might add on to this later for my own sake lmao, but I’d love to hear other peoples formative moments, quotes, episodes, etc. I really just needed to dump this information out of my brain so I can get on with my week.

[meatballsu]

I have rewatched TADC many times recently and I come up with many interesting theories about Ragatha (My favorite) and I think it is great to share them here.

Theory: Ragtha is kinda on Caine’s side, or at least she is the person who always “giving”.

This isn’t intend to propose that Caine and Ragatha are “bad” or something. I’m not sure if anyone is watching the GenV series (Spoilers alert!)

and I think Ragatha is sorta a role like Kate that supports the Caine.

One thing is that when Caine is stopped by Pomni questioning about how do they leave, Ragatha immediately takes the question with a little stuttering opening, like she helps Caine when the AI is malfunctioned.

Another thing is she apologized to Pomni when glitching, says Pomni had a bad day, it looks like Ragatha took the responsibility that she should take care of the newbies.

I also noticed a very interesting detail about Ragatha's motion design. I collected all the clips of she approaching while people remaining steady. You know it usually means this person is a sacrificer in relationships.

Even when she is not in a good mood about Pomni's “abandon” . Ragatha still approaches and stands by her side.

This gives me the feeling that Caine may have demanded or asked her for help to care the new "sucker".

Additionally, the Kaufmo part also striked me a little. (It may turns out to be simply the pilot needs and my overthinking. But consider I have to wait for months to expect a new episode so why not brain storm.)

So Ragatha is the person who promts to check Kaufmo:

Ragatha: Oh, wait, we should go check on Kaufmo. And I'm pretty sure he'd like to meet Pomni.

While Kinger refuses the idea and says:

I think Kaufmo's gone insane. Last time I spoke with him, he was rambling endlessly about some exit.

After they went to the carpet, Ragatha mentioned that:

Well, we usually do, when we first arrive, but after a while you start to realize that you really can't leave and constantly chasing an unattainable goal will start driving you a bit crazy. And eventually you get to asking what the point of anything is and you completely lose sight of who you are and why you're even alive and when you reach your breaking point something really terrible can happen.

When she saw the abstracted Kaufmo and she stuttered that the creature might be the “terrible thing” refered to what she said before.

At this time I think we can assume that:

Ragatha knows the pursuing exits could drive people to the breaking point.

Ragatha knows people who breaks will happen terrible things.

Ragatha knows by Kinger (who is unresponisive but still noticed somthing wrong) that Kaufmo is unstable recently.

Ragatha knows what “abstract” is, and someone( people who came earlier than her or Caine) kept warnig/brainwashing her that “ Don’t overthink about exist or terrible thing gonna happen”.

Why Ragatha wants to take Pomni to go check on Kaufmo even she knows he is in a unstable situation?

I think it can be explained that:

She wants to form a stonger colleague relationship with Pomni by taking her to meet the used-to-be-frindely Kaufmo (who liked to tell jokes). or—

She wants to warn Pomni by letting her see “the terrible thing” to stop her from thinking about exit.

By going through all this points, I feel that Ragatha is the most positive on the concept about “No exist”. It looks like she tries hard to prove that there is no way out.

This point is also supported by Caine. And Ragatha hints in a non-obvious way through the pilot that Caine treats them with good intention:

The official site introduces the series with:

So nevertheless, I think Ragatha is still a trapped victim, and the pilot seems to show that she grows a bit Stockholm syndrome and stands by Caine’s side to defend her sanity. That's why she is described as the sweetest optimist.

ps:

I find Jax's different attitude is intersting when Ragatha and Kinger mentioned their daily routine:

Jax didn't comment on Ragatha explaining their useless sleep routine.

[skzdust]

Room 514

Part 3

Sorry this part took so long! I finally had a ton of time to write this morning and I'm getting a lot done! I hope you guys all enjoy it!

Summary: You’re moving into a new suite halfway through your sophomore year at Stay University, populated by three guys: Jisung, Changbin, and Bang Chan. You meet their friends and quickly become a part of their group, but you find yourself wanting more with Jisung…

Pairing: Han Jisung x Reader

Includes: sleepy reader, sleepy Jisung, shirtless Jisung, shopping, Jisung being a gentleman

Word count: 1.5k

Taglist (Comment on a post/send an ask if you'd like to be added): @weirdowithaphone, @caught-in-the-afterglow, @palindrome969, @skzstan12345

Reblogs, likes, comments all appreciated!!!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4 | Part 5

Masterlist

-----

You blinked your eyes open as a beam of sunlight fell over your face.

Apparently, you’d fallen asleep in the living room. You didn’t remember putting a pillow next to Jisung and curling up with your head against it, nor did you remember Jisung going to get another blanket, but he must have at some point. You were still under the fluffy throw he’d brought out when you’d first started The Immortal and the Restless, and you could see a blue quilt out of the corner of your eye.

You carefully sat up, trying not to disturb Jisung. He was in the same fetal position you’d woken up in, with his head on top of the pillow instead of against it. His quilt was draped over him, and you could see the corner of the fabric scrunched in one of his hands. The morning light made his hair seem to glitter as the air from the ceiling vent gently played with it, and his face was serene and unguarded.

He rubbed one of his eyes as you stood up from the couch. You held your breath as he stretched. The blanket slid off his side as he unfolded his legs, and your eyes widened as his back arched.

He opened his eyes with a sleepy smile, and you made your expression as normal as possible.

He scrunched up his nose. “What’s wrong? You’re making a weird face.”

“Nothing’s wrong, I’m making a normal face.”

“Mhm.” He smiled again, closing his eyes and letting his head fall sideways onto the pillow. “Normal face.” He ran one of his hands through his hair.

You fought the urge to also run a hand through his hair. “How many episodes in did we get last night?”

He shrugged, eyes still shut. “Dunno. I think I turned it off after three, but they’re each an hour long and I was mostly asleep by the third one.”

“Yeah.” You yawned. “I only really remember the first half of the second one.”

“It’s okay. We can rewatch. No rush.”

“I liked what I remember.”

His smile grew a little bigger. “Good, glad to hear that. It’s one of my favorites.”

You looked at him for a moment longer. His eyes were still closed, and he looked so relaxed, more relaxed than you’d ever seen him.

He opened his eyes and raised his eyebrows, and your cheeks reddened.

“Staring? I know, I know, I’m gorgeous, you just can’t take your eyes off me.”

“That’s not it, I… you’re… ugh.”

He laughed softly. “Just kidding.” He stretched again and sat up. “I am gonna take a shower, though. Maybe we could do something after, if you don’t have calculus to do?”

You did your best not to imagine Jisung in the shower and waved a hand, dismissing both your thoughts and Jisung’s concern. “Calculus isn’t due until Tuesday. It’s Sunday. Plenty of time.”

“Okay, well, I’ll meet you out here in a few minutes and we’ll figure out somewhere to go.”

You nodded. “Sounds good.”

You went back to your room and sat on your bed, staring forward.

Did that really just happen?

You got changed and did your morning hygiene, changing your outfit a couple of times before deeming it good enough. You went back out to the living room and sat down on the couch, scrolling on your phone for a minute.

A staticky noise stopped, and you realized Jisung was still in the bathroom. He must’ve just turned off the shower.

A minute later, the bathroom door opened.

Jisung’s hair was wet, wearing a towel draped around his remarkably hot waist and… nothing else.

You looked down, hoping he wouldn’t notice you.

“I’ll be ready in a minute.” Jisung smiled at you as you looked at him.

You focused on keeping your eyes on his face and not his body, smiling back. “Cool.”

As Jisung disappeared into his room, you took a deep breath.

His body is perfect, too. That’s really not fair.

He walked out a minute later in a jeans and a green hoodie layered under a leather jacket. “Anything you’d like to do?”

You shrugged. “Nothing’s coming to mind except shopping, but I’m kinda broke right now, so I dunno about that.”

“We can try stuff on, though!” Jisung tossed his car keys from one hand to the other. “Come on, I’ll drive us to the mall.”

“Okay, I can try stuff on.”

Jisung beamed. “Perfect.”

The mall wasn’t particularly close, but it was a pleasant drive. You chatted the whole way, and Jisung was a good driver, unlike many of your friends—your old friends, you reminded yourself. Strangely, thinking of them didn’t hurt when you were with Jisung.

You parked and got out of the car, Jisung running around the front and opening your door for you.

“Thank you.”

“Of course.” His smile was like sunshine as he shut the door behind you and locked the car.

You walked into the mall, and he took your hand, guiding you towards a store with a few cute tops in the window. “Ooh, these are cool!”

You walked in and found one of the tops in your size, a light green bustier with ruching across the front and cap sleeves. “Isn’t this one cute?”

“Very cute.” Jisung agreed. “You should try it on!” “I think I will.” You nodded and walked off in search of a dressing room.

You put on the top, struggling with it a bit before realizing there was a side zipper. It looked great on you, fitting like a glove.

You pulled back the curtain and walked out. “Jisung?”

“Here!”

You walked out to the sitting area outside the dressing rooms, doing a little twirl for him.

He smiled, watching you. “Beautiful, you look… amazing.”

“Aw, thank you.” You did a little curtsey, immediately realizing it made no sense since you weren’t wearing a skirt and the top wasn’t that fancy. “I don’t know why I did that.”

Jisung laughed. “It was cute. How much is the top?”

You tried not to think too hard about Jisung calling you cute and looked at the price tag, doing a double take. “Wow, 85 dollars.”

“Damn.” Jisung’s lips twisted. “It looks good, though. Do you want me to get it for you?”

“No, I couldn’t let you do that.” You waved off his offer. “I’d feel bad.”

“I want to, though!”

“I’d feel guilty, though!” You mirrored his language.

Jisung sighed. “Go change back, and we can keep looking, there was this sweater vest with an apple on the front that I really liked.”

“Why don’t you try it on? You’d probably eat it up.”

“I would.” Jisung preened. “Maybe I will.”

You walked back into the dressing room and put your T-shirt back on, carefully adjusting the top on its hanger and walking back out to Jisung. You hung it up on the return rack. “Where’s the sweater vest?”

“Over here.” He stood up, and you followed him to the sweater vests.

“It’s cropped! Cute.” You took it off the rack, feeling the material between your fingers. “Oh, it’s soft, too.”

“Perfect.” Jisung pulled out the vest in his size, and you went back to the dressing rooms. He pranced out a moment later with the sweater vest on.

The crop exposed the bottom part of his abs, and his arms were muscular. The combination of the light green of the trim, the red of the apple, and the cream background looked great on him.

You were reminded of earlier in the morning, when you’d seen him shirtless, and you could feel yourself go red.

“It looks great!”

“Everything okay? You look a little flushed.” Jisung looked concerned.

“Yeah.” You laughed. “All good, just a bit hot.”

“Yeah, it is warm in here.” Jisung nodded, and you exhaled, a little bit relieved. “But you like it?”

“I love it.” You said sincerely.

“Maybe I’ll get it.” He pulled at the hem. “It’s a little tight, but I want it a little tight. I like to wear either oversized stuff or tight stuff. No in between.”

“It’s a good style on you.” Both of those options are really hot.

“Okay, I’m gonna change out of this, if you want to look around a little more, I’ll find you.”

You stood up. “Okay, perfect.”

You walked over to one of the racks, looking at a pink satin top with a large bow across the front. It was cute, not quite your style, but very cute. You walked through the store, but nothing else caught your eye the way the green top had.

Someone tapped you on the shoulder, and you whirled you around, startled.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” Jisung smiled, holding out a bag.

“Hm?”

“Look inside.”

You did so. Inside was your green top, a receipt stuffed on top of it.

You looked back up at him. “You did not.”

He gave you a mischievous smile. “I did.”

“Jisung! I told you it’d make me feel guilty!”

“Don’t feel guilty! I did it because I wanted to! It looks like it was made for you.”

You couldn’t stop yourself from smiling, taking the bag. “Thank you. I’ll wear it, I promise.”

“You definitely need to. I also got that sweater vest, which has green trim, so we can kinda match!”

“Perfect!”

“Perfect.” Jisung beamed.

[newtonsheffield]

Ok finally finished my rewatch and my goodness, I forgot how emotional episode 8 makes me. The Violet & Anthony convo. The Mary & Kate convo. The Anthony & Greg convo. THE WRECKING BALL DANCE. The I love yous. The blissfully happy epilogue. I HAVE SO MANY TEARS 😭

I’m literally still not over the way Anthony tells Kate he loves her with no expectation that she feels the same way. After everything they’ve been through together he can’t hold it in anymore.

He asked her earlier that episode to marry him, trying to appeal to her sense of propriety and it’s almost as though that doesn’t sit right with him. He just can’t let her go home thinking that what he felt for her was nothing. He can’t let her think that she meant nothing to him when she meant everything to him. If he can’t marry her he won’t marry another and he just wants her to know that he loved her. So she can go to bed at night and know that once upon a time a man named Anthony had loved her. That’s all he wants.

I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to get over that.

[pinazee]

Disco didn’t die. it was murdered!

Psych is one of the best at doing these themed episodes. They change the camera work, the lighting, the background theme, and even the outfits. Like, they go all out and its always fun :)

Look at this smug bastard. I don’t mind arrogance, but i do mind the fake modesty. It made me roll my eyes haha

Now to settle my own curiosity, i looked into all the things shawn and gus point out about the chiefs phrases and grammar.

“I could care less” and “i couldn’t care less” are used interchangeably though english scholars will say the latter is the correct phrase and should be used formally.

“Goes without saying” was originally a french term ça va sans dire and my understanding of it is that it meant more like “absolutely” or “of course” where the English equivalent is more like “obviously”. Either way we can blame the french for this one haha

The chief did in fact split an infinitive when she said “why don’t you tell me how to properly say this-“ Splitting an infinitive is when you put an adverb between to- and a verb. Such as to boldly go, to casually walk, or to gently push. Whether or not its proper english is debated i believe. But if you ask me, it wouldn’t sound right to have Kirk say to go boldly. Just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

Heres a Phil collins/ corbin bersen side by side

Also, obviously the chief never should have put shawn on the case. Not only because henry is his dad, but also because he’s a “psychic” and i would think if they were trying to get a solid legal case against him, they wouldn’t use mr.woowoo. But again, its a cable show so we ignore this haha (but also no way they won that in court?? It was circumstantial at best)

“It was the 70’s, we did what we had to do but only when we knew we had the right guy.” Henry…is kind of a hypocrite? Like hes all about following the rules and especially the law but also thinks it was okay for him to do it because he had a good reason. Okay, maybe to give him a little more credit than that, the fact that hes so nervous and touchy about it (fiddling with the key, shouting at gus) is because he knew the search warrant was bogus and screwed up, but his pride prevents him from owning it outright. So, i like that it ends with Henry thanking Shawn for essentially fixing his mistake. I’ve been kinda iffy on henry this whole rewatch so far, and how he is with shawn aside, i at least know its more important for him to get the right guy (or at least be right) than it is to get a bust for the sake of his ego. Though, now that i think about it, thats really the bare minimum to be a cop so…

Ive said it before, but i like that the difference between shawns tactics and his fathers in getting information from people is that henry will bust through or even intimidate, while Shawn makes them feel good about themselves and in some cases like theyre a part of the team. There’s an argument that shawns way is more manipulative, and i think if we didn’t know him as a person it might come across that way, but instead it comes across as him just making friends with everyone he meets.

Gus thinking his story ends with a wrongful conviction explains him freaking out so much in season 7’s ep Office Space. Theres also a commentary there about this being a genuine fear in the black community which makes me very sad at the state of my country.

NATIONAL TREASURE IS A NATIONAL TREASURE GUS

Now, about shawn spending all their money on the car- i am of the belief that he did it on purpose either to be a stinker or to make it more challenging, or maybe I’m in denial that negotiating is not in his skill set considering he’s ridiculously good at so many other things haha

I just wanted to put their clue spotting side by side because i like that their similar and different at the same time :)

Incidentally my filipino coworkers reacted the same way when i told them my mom called my pookie, to which they explained (after laughing) that a “puki” was ahem, vagina in tagalog. Language is fun :)

This is going to sound weird but this is the first ep that juliet and lassie felt like actual partners. It just feels like their on the same level finally, and that level being a dick to mcnab for no reason haha. But im glad karma hit back real quick for them (also, their treatment from the coast guard was a preview for the next ep, though i would think they’d have met chief vicks sis in the process)

Who cuts a cucumber like this? Its one of the easiest vegetables to cut. I dont know why this bothers me so much haha

I could hash out the henry and shawn argument, but as Gus pointed out, they have this same argument pretty frequently. So i think, yeah, im just going to store it for later.

Okay, correction from my post on Daredevils!, this was the dumbest thing he ever did. He risked so many peoples lives like wtf?? And i was about to say shawn wouldn’t do that unless he had a trick up his sleeve because he did know how to turn it on, but then when no one is looking he is genuinely relieved it worked so he really didn’t think it through and im so disappointed in him. Bad psychic.

P.S

Dulé!

[unnaturalequilibrium]

Capítulo 11

- Mafin rewatch (Sueños de Libertad)

Aww, Fina missing her ex-girlfriend, Esther. Okay, maybe I get the Petra thing now. Fina was hurting, needing a rebound. Lonely and trying not to let regret eat at her. Okay, I think I do get it. Still not smart, but I understand where it came from, why she was so willing to take a chance on Petra.

Getting to see Fina open up to Carmen about her and Esther, about missing her, about what made her fall in love with her - is ridiculously heart-warming. And from a character point of view this has to be fucking huge. This is probably the first time Fina’s gotten to talk about these things with another person who wasn’t actually Esther. That kind of sudden freedom has to be a bit dizzying. It's a telling contrast also of how easy it is for Fina to talk about what it was about Esther that made her fall in love and the way Marta in the previous episode couldn't even come up with an answer much less a half-decent lie when asked the same question about her husband. I'm looking forward to that scene later on when Marta will be able to answer that question with ease, only not about her husband, obviously.

It hurts though, the regret and longing you can feel radiate off Fina as she talks about Paris and breaking up with Esther. But what is this mad fantasy about living an open gay life among the baguettes? Because France and a good place to be gay - well, that’s not quite the impression I have. Then again this should probably be seen through the eyes of someone trapped on the other side of a fascist fence and then the grass doesn’t just look greener, it is actually greener on the other side, even if that side is France.

The reason she didn’t go in the end was Isidro. And as beautiful as their relationship is, it is also sad to see how much of a - I don’t want to say chain, because it sounds so deeply negative. But her bond with him has been cemented into something so solid it doesn’t actually give her full freedom. I do get a kick out of how this show handles all of the many ways, big and small, that women were (are) stripped of their freedom and the way it weaves that into every one of the storylines without ever making it overpoweringly depressing. They show a kind of stark reality of the ties that bind women, but in between the drama they infuse it with enough hope to ultimately land on positive note.

Marta is self-assured with her brothers, she trusts her skill and argues her case. I like it. She wants renewal and it’s going to start with their company. Yes, open that door and lets see what else finds its way out into the light.

Carmen stepping up at the store, taking charge and volunteering to do the inventory as Claudia just wants to go be with Mr Caveman. Honestly, Claudia can sort of rub me the wrong way at times. Mostly her naivety is played for comedy, but maybe I’m a bit over-protective of Carmen, but Claudia doesn’t seem to have much of a sense of responsibility in her. I don’t know, I just don’t think ignorance is an excuse that should or can be used or excused for an extended period of time. Fina’s reaction at the end though, that is my reaction too. Your cousin, Claudia? Really now.

Fast-forward to a heartbroken Claudia having been stood up by Tasio, lamenting about how stupid she is and that letting Carmen do her work for her was an “ugly” thing - and in true brutal Fina fashion she agrees. Fina also telling her she should come clean to Carmen and just tell her she’s been going out with Tasio. It’s the best thing to do, it’s the honest thing to do and that Carmen is more understanding than Claudia might think. But Claudia insists she can’t tell her, even though it puts Fina in a really awkward situation with her best friend. Like I said, I’m not super keen on Claudia 24/7. She’s a bit too up her own business and doesn’t quite seem to understand how her actions have real consequences for those around her. She is young though, compassion is at times a learnt trait. I do however take comfort in Fina’s no nonsense relationship advice, even though she’s got a mood that runs hotter than Mustafar, she is very emotionally mature (just not always in relation to hers own issues).

Marta calling the store to check in on Carmen makes me happy. Those two together is one of those relationships that’s slowly started to grow on me and make me really happy. I just really like women respecting and supporting each other professionally, even when it's fictional.

Tasio not only being an asshole but a wholeass thief too and I am not surprised. Damn, I have absolutely no respect for that man and there is no redemption arc they can give him that will make me accept this douchebag. Carmen standing up to him with authority and her head held high - it’s a thing of beauty though. Why did they make her go back to him? I know straight woman logic is not mine, but why? Carmen is perfect, why pair her with that smear of three day old dog poo stubbornly clinging to the side of your shoe?

Yes, I have a Carmen bias, but she's my favourite ally so get used to it.

[physalian]

Character Types: Femme Fatales & Comic Relief

These two have nothing in common except the one thing I hate about them: By design, they exist to fulfil one shallow purpose, so I’m lumping them together.

—

Comic Relief

Characters that only serve one purpose in the cast stick out like a sore thumb. “Comic Relief” characters exist solely to be funny, as if the rest of the main cast is incapable of humor, and that this character is incapable of any serious moments. Instead of distributing different flavors of humor—sass, dry wit, jokers, pranksters, dark humor, dad jokes and puns—the writer comes up with their grumpy group of heroes, then I guess thinks “oh I need somebody funny to cut some of this seriousness”?

But on top of that, as this character exists just to be funny, there’s usually comparatively less development and rich character nuance for the comic relief over the other heroes. They get whatever crumbs are left over after every other more important character has eaten.

If they do have some tragic backstory or any serious moments, they are still the one desperately trying to cut the tension and either annoying other characters and the audience in the process, or being quite tone deaf in their endeavors.

The one everybody hates: Jar Jar Binks

The one some people hate: Olaf

The one that subverted himself right quick: Sokka

Prequel apologists, step aside. The writing is still terrible and Jar Jar even in Clone Wars features in episodes (“Bombad Jedi”) I routinely skip on rewatches. Maybe he’s funnier for little kids? I haven’t seen every piece of SW media out there but I can’t recall a single moment where Jar Jar has any moment of depth or seriousness and he’s frequently the most inconvenient element of any mission he winds up on.

Honorable mention for C-3PO, far less irritating but still largely a bumbling idiot (I love him, to be clear, he’s just always in the wrong place at the wrong time). The droid factory shenanigans on Geonosis comes to mind, as well as when he was so useless, he was riding around in a sack on Chewie’s back because he got disassembled in ESB.

Jar Jar is funny, but he’s only funny, and most often incompetently funny.

Olaf’s dark humor is what saves him for me personally. “I’ve been impaled” still makes me chuckle no matter how many times I see Frozen. Not only that, but he does have the big heart moment of the movie with Anna. He has zero tragic backstory, he was basically born yesterday, but he’s not a one-dimensional cardboard cutout.

Another honorable mention to, like, 8 out of 13 Dwarves, specifically Bombur, in the Hobbit trilogy. A combined 9 hours of movie and they chose to fill it with Mirkwood River Rapids™ instead of making up development for the heroes.

Sokka, on the other hand, looks like he’s going to be the sarcastic comedic relief, but he becomes so much more and wastes no time doing it. Compare him to the version of him written by the Ember Island Players. He’s been essayed about to death and there’s nothing more I can say about him that hasn’t been said before so I’ll leave it here: Sokka (and Toph) is comedic relief done right.

The whole cast is funny when they want to be, serious when they have to be. No one character gets designated “the funny one” or “the hopeful crying one” or “the buff one” no matter what Fire Nation propaganda wants you to think.

Final honorable mention to Leo Valdez. He has a ton of depth and nuance to him, but is very much "the funny one" of the Seven. Comparing Percy's trip to Ogygia with Leo's and one was a rather sullen "you could have this peaceful escape if you left your destiny behind, but you won't, noble hero" and the other was a bizzare romcom that, to me, wasn't funny, and just created a whole new set of issues surrounding Calypso's character.

—

Femme Fatales

Femme Fatales exist to look pretty, kick ass, pretend to be strong female characters, and be something for the male characters and male viewers to guiltlessly lust after because she’s asking for it. This is not a badass woman protagonist. The classic depiction of this trope is the shallow accessory to a male character, a seductress meant to either manipulate the hero into straying off his moral high ground, or to pit him against another man.

So.

Black Widow.

In Iron Man 2, you can argue that she’s supposed to be shallow. She plays it very close to the chest as a spy and has no reason to let any other characters, especially Tony, behind her mask. It’s not her movie.

In this movie specifically, though, she is this trope exactly. The bodysuit, the perfect hair, the whole changing in the back of the car, her provocative fighting style. She is eye candy that can kick ass, the only thing missing is an attempt at seducing Tony but you'll still catch him looking. That’s the femme fatale.

Extremely popular in 80s and 90s action movies as an accessory to the male protagonist but they've existed as long as film has. If he doesn’t have a damsel in distress to save, he has a sexy leg lamp to woo.

But Black Widow shows up in another decade’s worth of movies and dies to motivate the boys (and because her life matters less than Clint’s because he’s got a family while she can’t have kids), only getting a solo film after they killed her off, but in that time, they gave her plenty to do.

Natasha has many moments with depth, most of them in Age of Ultron and Winter Soldier, but she does have them. She laughs, she cries, she jokes, she’s smart and resourceful in moments where she doesn’t have a male character to impress, she has strengths beyond her physical attributes, and she has flaws. And, she and Steve Rogers miraculously weren’t written a romantic subplot in Winter Soldier.

On the one hand, Natasha knows exactly what she is and her fighting style fully leans into using the weapons she has as a woman… but on the other hand, in creating her character, the writers chose to lean into sexing her up.

I love her character, I just don’t love what they did with her.

—

Both of these character tropes tend to feature in scripts that aren’t the best to begin with. A strong, nuanced cast of heroes doesn’t usually have that one outlier that completely drops the ball.

All I’m asking for is to not designate any one character as the bearer of whatever you forget to give the rest of the cast. “Oops I forgot the funny, let me add in a comic relief, here’s Bob,” is a disservice to Bob. “Oops I forgot the women, let me add in this femme fatale, here’s Nyxandra,” is a disservice to Nyxandra.

Let every character have some funny moments.

You want a femme fatale? Go right ahead, honestly, but maybe don’t make her the only lady in the cast? If she’s a femme fatale because she wants to be, that’s great, but maybe have a woman who proves that you do, in fact, know how to write women?

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s3 episode 20 thoughts

dare i say it, once again… new favorite episode??

okay, my previous favorite episode was an ENTIRELY different direction from this one, but i’d say there should be one best episode for serious stuff and one best episode for the silly!!! and this takes the silly crown!! and tbh i can't make an actual hard and fast rating anyway because there are so many great things to choose from- but this is amongst them, for me, in terms of legendary episodes!

please, join me on this ride, which i enjoyed each second of, and will need to someday rewatch without pausing every 0.5 seconds to jot something i noticed down. the live experience begins beneath the cut.

it’s been 84 years…. (3 days since i’ve seen an episode)

ooo, this sounds interesting! is scully going to work with an author?? are we gonna learn more about the things that she reads?? this is prime content to a person like me

stars…. space ship….. filled with tubes and wires and other such things…… just kidding!!! it’s a guy working on some electrical stuff. whilst two people drive by!! i thought they were mulder and scully at first but they are not

“um, i don’t want to scare you, but i think i’m madly in love with you” says this guy who is not mulder but actually named harold to this girl who is not scully but is actually named chrissy. OH! and this is the first date. so that was a weird thing to say. i thought it was quite sweet at first but that changes things for sure.

GASP! UFO be upon them. creatures are coming out to get them. she asks what they are and he says “how the hell should i know?” ooo ooo i know! they are aliens 👽 and then the two fall on top of each other like they are knocked out… and the aliens drag them away???? 

until a king kong looking fellow rolls up. very puppet-y. and the aliens don’t know what this creature is either!!! and also ask what that thing is and the response is “how the hell should i know?” haha i see what you did there... out aliening the alien

bum bum bum bum…. (<- my attempt at recreating the noise of the intro)

now, what was that? i'm stuck on the king kong and godzilla love child puppet….

scan up on mulder’s iconic poster!!! and a guy is here who is yet again not mulder. his name is mr. chung and mulder will NOT talk to him… oooh, what is their beef…?

mr. chung is saying he always felt alienated on this planet, who can even imagine actual aliens! and he has a point there.

oh! scully is a big fan of this fellow, which is why she agreed to talk to this guy!!! he calls her beautiful, which is true, but time and place 

so he isn’t even interested in aliens, but his publisher said he should write a book on the matter. he is going to create a NEW genre: non fiction science fiction, a gimmick that will give him money. this seems somewhat disappointing to scully, who must be a believer in artistic integrity, but i find his honesty refreshing.

she wants him to tell the truth, but apparently he spent 3 months in kass county where all this stuff went down, and NO ONE could tell him what actually happened. the truth is just as subjective as reality. which sounds like something i learned in history class. and, it helps explain why everyone with an alien story starts with some variation of, "i know this sounds crazy, but"...

so he wants HER version of hearing of the case. also he touches her arm and... let's slow down a little there, mr. chung.

OHHH we are seeing a story told in flashbacks!!!! narrated by scully!! how wonderful!!!

this girl is suffering from “missing time”, a phenomenon we have come to know well here on this blog. also her clothes are inside out and she has signs of abuse. not looking great for her.

apparently mulder prefers the term “abductee” to “experiencer”, which mr. chung has valid disagreements with. we go on, however.

this poor girl is seeing aliens that are not there and her nose is bleeding. WAIT! it’s the guy from before! harold and chrissy! he comes to her window to say he did everything he could but she rejects him, thinking he had drugged and assaulted her. yikes.

harold is testifying that he was abducted by aliens, but no one believes him. he stuck to his story UNTIL our agents arrived!

(MULDER SAYS SOMETHING VERY OUT OF POCKET HERE ABOUT GOING TO PRISON BUT LET'S KEEP MOVING)

despite this announcement of presumed prison time, mulder brings chrissy in for questioning. asking her if she has all the symptoms of “post abduction disorder”, which she confirms, while scully rolls her eyes with great force in the background. and he talks the girl’s parents into letting her do hypnosis.

“what is your opinion of hypnosis?”, mr. chung asks scully, which is something i also have been dying to know! i mean, we saw her do a little bit before, but it didn’t seem to be a positive experience. she says it has therapeutic value, but has never been proven to enhance memory; it even makes memory worse. a very balanced and doctor-ly answer! 

LMAO scully is so cute… mr. chung mentions another book he wrote and she proclaims it “one of the greatest thrillers ever written” <- STOP I LOVE HER SHE IS SUCH A NERRRRD 😭😭

mr. chung said the FBI knew nothing about how hypnosis worked back during the MK ULTRA days… and he is fascinated by the idea of a person’s consciousness being transformed by listening to words. admittedly very fascinating! you could probably say the same about meditation, no?

(but he speaks to the power of storytelling, i realize now in hindsight! how we find ourselves wrapped up in the tales of things that never happened, how it fills us with sorrow or joy! how fascinating! i see what you did there, writers!)

cutscene to hypnotizing chrissy. who is seeing aliens. she is on a space ship wearing a fit that looks very similar to a lady gaga chromatica era performance, but it has tubes attached to her. harold is in a very similar contraption!!!!

she says the aliens are arguing without moving their mouths and she hears the lead alien in her head saying it’s for the good of her planet. and he is stealing her memories? um. for what purpose...

scully is serving looks in the corner while this goes down, looking mad as hell and very good. she says chrissy's abduction story seems a little TOO typical… and i have to agree! but mulder says no, there are TWO people with the same story! they can't both be lying, surely!

LMAOOOO they play with censoring the dude who comes in and yells at them… “well, of course he didn’t actually say ‘bleeped’” 

(BAHAHA i’m loving this insight into how scully’s memories operate. so this angry man is named detective manners)

“you still gonna hold the boy?” “oh, you bet your blankety-blank bleep i am” <- i am a simple woman, and an actor delivering these lines with a straight face whilst surrounded by other actors keeping a very straight face is going to make me cackle. look at her looking so bored while he says that. i’m howling!!!!

anyway, harold has a very different story on what went down that night, that did not seem to involve gaga-inspired fits, but instead they were both placed in electrified cages. while another alien in a nearby cage smokes a cigarette. he seems to be what i would call “an unbothered king”

in this story, harold claims that he will protect chrissy and never let anything happen to her, and of course something immediately happens to her while he hides in the corner like a baby. lmao.

and this alien is talking in english! not telepathically! he keeps repeating “this is not happening” until harold ALSO gets taken by the thing that took chrissy. 

mulder is trying to figure out what is going on, but his predictions aren’t lining up with what happened to harold. scully is pacing and looking pissed, and again, very pretty.

“you know when you’re a kid, and you tore the legs off a bug for no reason?”, asks harold (cutscene to mulder’s face with visible confusion) LMAOOOOOOO

scully getting to business: did you engage in consensual sexual intercourse that night? she is not messing around! she's had it up to here with the shenanigans of harold and chrissy!

harold is very very quiet until he says that her father will kill him if he finds out!!! gasp!!! confirmation!!!

so is this whole story just… a cover up??? for fornication???

scully vs mulder time. “so what if they’re having sex?” he asks, which is funny coming from him; and anyway, he claims it happened BEFORE the alien stuff went down. but she thinks they’re traumatized, and that is more likely than alien abduction. 

until detective manners bursts in and claims he has an eyewitness to what went down! he used more blanks and bleeps and again the straight faces killllll me

and ALL OF THEM telling their stories start with “i know how crazy this all sounds” just as mr. chung had described LMAOOO. now who tf is this dude who says he was an eyewitness?

(i’m taking soooo many notes because i keep laughing and noting things. which is a good problem to have!)

this dude, named roky, spent 48 hours straight writing down what he saw, and said that by looking at this, they are putting their lives in danger. so okay. better be juicy.

he says his garage door opened up, a car pulled in, and a man told him some facts about venus. he says they put him in a trance! and that they were in all black……

mr. chung says that myths of men in black garments are nothing new!!! so take THAT, men in black legends, you are one of many.

back at roky's place, the other dude in black says jimmy carter thought he saw a UFO once, but it was just venus. roky is scandalized, grabs his paper, and states that he is a REPUBLICAN.

(omg jimmy carter is going to be 100 in a few months god willing…..)

this man in black is saying that roky saw VENUS and nothing else, just VENUS. and not to tell anyone he saw anything but VENUS or he will die. and then the car drives away. 

so after that build up, he gives mulder the manuscript, and says he is packing up and leaving. bye bye roky. hope you find some peace.

mulder is reading this story to scully who is sprawled on the bed, looking, again, angry and hot. it seems he is describing that earlier puppet-y action.

oh! roky was the electrical guy from the very beginning!!! he hides in his truck but the king kong looking fellow says “be not afraid” and that he is needed for the good of the earth? what is with the good of the earth here.

cutscene to a very baffled looking scully laying in bed as mulder continues to read LMAOOOOOO

AND ROKY’S STORY SAYS HE WENT NOT TO OUTER SPACE, BUT INNER SPACE HELPPP!!!! now, inner space is towards the core, if you, like me, were unaware. also, king kong godzilla dude’s name is Lord Kinbote, so jot that down.

mr. chung says he has a copy of roky’s manifesto- which was sent to his publisher? and LMAOOO the story is disturbing both for its soul orgy scenes and the fact that it is written as a screenplay 

well, surely your partner didn’t believe any of it, mr. chung states! “mulder’s had his share of peculiar notions” is scully's carefully worded reply... LMAOOO 

cutscene to her sitting up from the bed and calling him nuts <- LMAOOOOO but HE says that whatever roky saw may have triggered some delusions, and that the only story that doesn’t add up is chrissy’s, so he is calling to get her re-hypnotized, much to scully’s indignation!

so back to the hypnosis. and chrissy is now mirroring harold's story exactly. oh! she says the people who took them are from the air force?? so where did the gaga slay outfits go... 

the air force men are arguing in front of her. and then they say to “rinse her out”. saying it is for the good of her country. and stealing her memories!

so WHO is doing the real memory stealing here….. the aliens or the government?? an age old question!!! one that is at the heart of this series.

scully and mulder fight over what is going on, and he thinks that this might have nothing to do with aliens, until detective manners shows up with news that a crazy blankety blank claims to have an ALIEN BODY!!

(what if it’s a raccoon with mange…)

again, the man recounting this story begins with “i know how crazy this is going to sound”, but then says he wants to be abducted by aliens. well! i’m sure that’s a sexual thing i don’t care to unpack.

cutscene to mr. chung interviewing this same man, who wishes to go where finding a job is not a requirement. he was looking in a field for UFOs. and when he called the authorities upon spotting one, the agents show up!!

he says that scully was a man dressed as a woman but not pulling it off??? RUDE AS HELL! jail for 10,000 years. "HER HAIR WAS A LITTLE TOO RED, YOU KNOW?" LMAOOOOO and mulder was the “tall, lanky one” with a blank expression. well yeah that is an accurate depiction.

AND ACCORDING TO THIS GUY'S ACCOUNT, WHEN MULDER SEES THE BODY, HE SHRIEKS LIKE A STARTLED SQUIRREL I’M CRYINGGGG. so scully says to wrap this body up!

BUT THEN SHE GRABS HIM AND SAYS TO NEVER TELL ANYONE HE SAW THIS I’M CRYINGGGG... that had to be such a silly scene to film 

okay, seeing the part about subjective truths now. this is so funny... why is this loser making scully a hater in his version!!!

she’s PISSED to hear he claims she said this LMAOOO and that is ridiculous!! they even let him view the autopsy!!

so mulder takes this weirdo’s camera and records the autopsy?? scully cuts his brain open. and the tape ends up on late night television LMAOOOO

SCULLY IS SO EMBARRASSED THAT SHE IS ON THIS ALIEN HOAX AUTOPSY TAPE... I’M CRYING SOMEONE SAVE HER!!! and the host of whatever show they end upon is STUPENDOUS YAPPI FROM THE CLYDE BRUCKMAN EPISODE!!!! i'm howlingggg

she’s mad that whoever got the film edited out all the important scientific findings!!! like the two layers of skin!!!

wait. it’s a zipper. this is a dead guy in an alien suit. LMAOOOOOOOOO

the weird UFO cameraman kid is ill after realizing it was an ordinary dead guy, and scully looks deeply pained as he runs away to get sick LMAOOO

so: who is this dead guy? he was in the air force! and his name is robert. but who arrives but more people from the air force!! are they here to bury him?? or question the agents…

the folks from the air force want robert back, so she has to break the news that he is dead, and being kept for investigation into kidnapping. can they see him? scully is like yeah sure but mulder says no!!! but you CAN talk to the other AWOL guy we brought in. GASP!! a bluff!!! and it works!! from this they learn there is another missing guy!

LMAOOOO except it doesn’t go as smoothly as intended, and mulder is all “hmm he was here a few minutes ago… guess he’s still AWOL… anyway wanna see the body?” I’M CRYING THIS MANNNN IS SO RIDICULOUS 

but bad news: the body is gone. 

cameraman UFO guy is sitting on his floor watching the autopsy tape. when in bursts… the men in black from the earlier garage scene!!!! they knock him out. 

he claims mulder slapped him back to reality. and that he ALSO threatened him... me when i lie.

so mulder doesn’t have the tape. but when he drives home a fully naked man is walking about in the woods. it’s the other missing lieutenant, jack!! he is repeating “this is not happening” in the same voice as the alien as before!!!!! HUH WHAT IS GOING ON?

mulder takes jack to eat. he claims to have piloted the "UFO", and that all the abductions are military stuff, and at the base the abductees are messed with mentally, until they come out convinced they were probed by aliens. 

well okay, if its all the government, than what abducted YOU, jack? he isn’t sure about anything at all anymore, even if he exists. until who walks in... but the military!!

wait, mulder points out, it can’t all be fake- who was the third alien? jack seems to know him by name- lord kinbote. HUH?

and mr. chung heard a story about that same night from the cook at the restaurant! apparently mulder ordered sweet potato pie? huh, that’s interesting. and he kept ordering more and more pies with each question he asked the chef. LMAOOOO I just KNOW that scene was hard to film!!!! scenes where people eat always make me wonder how many times they had to have that damn bite of pie. 

but he claims there was no jack, nor any air force personnel at all. just a hungry mulder. again, so what is the truth...

mr. chung points out that scully doesn’t seem too phased to learn about all the contradictions in this story, and she says well no, not after what happened next. because when he got back to the motel, the men in black were in her room, going through her stuff! they claim she went to get some ice. he’s got 'em at gunpoint, screaming WHERE IS SHE!!! all protective, okay i see you. but she really did go to get some ice???

okay… man in black says that some alien encounters are engineered by the government and then exposed to discredit truth seekers. and mulder counters, well, people say the men in black also do purposefully strange things, so that anyone describing them sounds crazy! they proceed to… try and hypnotize him?

BUT IT’S ALEX TREBEK WHO IS DOING THE HYPNOTIZING???? LMAOOOOO HAS HE BEEN THE QUIET MAN IN BLACK THIS WHOLE TIME??

mr. chung is GAGGED, and wants to know if it WAS alex trebek, but sadly scully cannot confirm, for has no memory of this!! 

she woke up the next morning to mulder in her room….? and mr. chung is also gagged to hear this. me too tbh like did he just sleep on the couch? well we know that is how he sleeps at home so i guess i'm not shocked.

mulder’s trying to explain that she didn’t just "let him in" last night, but detective manners calls and says they found a bleeping UFO.

and what is it but…. a plane!! a secret plane!! and who are they carrying away on stretcher but the missing airmen, jack and robert???? SO HOW DID THEY DIE!

mr. chung puts his pen down, baffled, and scully points out that this story may not have a lot of closure, but it’s more than some of their other cases, which is funny because it is true. and she’s playing with her earrings and it’s so cute.

cutscene to mr. chung typing at his place. until a shadow approaches and he holds a tiny gun!!!! he is ready for a showdown but it’s… mulder at the door?

WAIT how does chung recognize him… did scully show him pictures i'm crying

mulder is in chung's apartment, asking him to not write the book, because it will do a disservice to a field that has always struggled to maintain credibility. we can’t understand these alternate realities yet!!! well. compelling argument... but mr. chung needs a paycheck. 

OH! and mulder suspects that the book is a “covert agenda” of the military industrial complex. always theories upon theories with this guy...

mr. chung says the book WILL be written, but he needs an explanation from mulder: what really happened to those kids on that night?

his answer: how the hell should i know?

(it was so perfect, i thought the episode would end right here)

mr. chung says he has deadlines, and mulder looks very sad, very previously neglected shelter dog rizz, and walks out. back to mr. chung’s furious typing. 

okay, so the cameraman now works for the electrical company roky worked for. because roky moved to california, preaching on purification and the inner earth and core enlightenment. right right right makes sense.

cutscene to scully reading the finished book by mr. chung!!! she is fictionalized as “diane” who is “noble of spirit and pure of heart” but “nevertheless a federal employee” LMAOOOO

and mulder is “renard muldrake” LMAOOOOO that is such a funny name... he's watching something in bed shirtless as his fictionalized self is being described- “a ticking time bomb of insanity” AND HE’S WATCHING THE BIGFOOT TAPES BAHAHAHAHA

chrissy now is an environmental advocate and harold still loves her but it isn’t required. aww harold :(

mr. chung ends by saying that we are not alone in this universe, but in our own way, we are all alone.

NEW BEST EPISODE CONTENDER???

this feels like one of those posts where people make up a bunch of information and then it all gets proven wrong so it is described as a "net zero information gain" bahaha

but don't get me wrong, i don't fully understand what happened, but i loved it. i was laughing, i was enjoying seeing the subjectivity of one story to the next, i was enjoying scully and chung time, and despite all the silly, we still got clues on the whole "is it aliens or the government" thing. and sure, maybe it doesn't make immediate sense, but you have to ponder these matters to learn what is at their heart!

so what DID we learn? well, some alien cases might be the government! but i guess that is still a "might", so maybe we can't truthfully say we LEARNED it. we learned that scully is a big fan of mr. chung!!! we learned that mulder is fiercely protective of his line of work from all his years of being ridiculed! and that he watches the famous bigfoot tape for fun and also maybe like sweet potato pie? it was unconfirmed.

i really enjoyed the playing with perspective, seeing how one character saw things, and then another. and seeing mulder and scully threaten that dweeb was so funny because it was so out of character and had to be silly to shoot.

and i thought it was impressive how it managed to tie back to the big alien and government mystery while still making me laugh so hard. how many past episodes can be analyzed through the lens of certain things being faked for exposure? and what REALLY happened to those airmen? we still don't know if mulder's convo with jack even happened! and we never will!

i came to appreciate the company of mr. chung immensely, even though i thought he was gonna be creepy after calling scully beautiful and touching her arm, but i suppose that he was just a genuinely sweet fellow. you can't blame me for being suspicious after some of the things she gets put through, but i'm sure that if i picked one of his books off the shelf, i, like scully, would be a fan.

overall, i am deeply pleased, and would love to give this a rewatch sometime when i am not taking notes so i could appreciate the pacing in more detail. man, season 3 has really been killing it, huh? and i'm nearing the end!!

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Thur lovely fandom :) So sorry for being a day late. Kinda a miracle took this long for life to knock me off course tbh. Entering our final 3 eps of this rewatch. It’s the final Countdown ha This is a glorious episode top to bottom. This season really finishes out very strong. Let us begin.

5x20 S.T.R

We start off in the most domestic fluffy way. I was giddy af when this premiered. Took me awhile to get through this ep cause I rewound this part so much. They have this flirty dance as they prep for breakfast together. Tim checking her out as he places the pancake down. Not subtle in the least looking down at her chest. I love that he can shamelessly check her out now and does so. Lucy is soaking it in. I mean if Tim Bradford was openly checking me out I’d feel empowered too.

The confident way Lucy leans extra hard into Tim as her response. *fans self* Needing zero space between them if she can help it. She is eyeing those gorgeous lips of his as well. Doesn’t take much to ignite Tim around her. Moth to flame this man. Lucy pressing into him like she didn’t just have him this morning in the shower. Gah I love it so very much. Our horny little ship never getting enough of each other. I’m a puddle. Look at her seducing him with just her body language and gaze my goodness.

Tim’s soft reply of 'Hey.’ Smitten Kitten Tim reporting for duty. Getting what she is throwing down for him. *sigh* These idiots in love. I love them so much. Happiness once again looking so damn good on them. They’re both beaming in this scene. Look at the smiles on these two. Said it a few times. Forever love how one kiss is never enough. Doesn’t take much to get them going and wanting extra kisses. Tim pulling on her for more as he goes in for that second kiss.

Also Tim cooking breakfast for Lucy is so adorable I cannot. This is canon now and I love it. So nice she has someone to cook for her now unlike when she was with the clown. And for Tim to have someone who enjoys breakfast. Which he didn't have with Ashley. Tamara breaks up their love fest. Parting the Red Sea that is Chenford on her way to the fridge. Tim's reaction is so funny. Just throwing his hands up in the air all defeated.

At first he’s annoyed then Tamara says her line. Then he’s like she’s not wrong... LOL Oh Eric you’re the king of expressions sir. Let’s just take a second to to soak this moment in. They’re making breakfast together, can’t keep their hands off one another, his hands on her waist pulling her close, they can’t even keep it to one kiss. It’s glorious on so many levels. Not squeeing to death at all.

Lucy and Tim still gravitate toward each other despite Tamara's interruption. Lucy noting she thought she was sleeping in today? Ha Thought she had the morning to herself with Tim. Tamara explaining she was but the smell of pancakes woke her up. We see Tim perk up so excited to make her pancakes. He truly does love having her around it's adorable. Happy it was his cooking that awoke her. Such a dad excited she wants his cooking. I cannot.

He is so happy to make her some pancakes. What a man. I LOVE the way Lucy is looking at him when Tamara says she wants 3. He looks back at her and she cutely raises her eye brows. Just as smitten with this man as he is with her. They’re so adorable. They hear the doorbell ring and Tim freezes and says ‘shoot.’ all adorable like. Telling Lucy Isabel texted him. Her name getting stuck in his throat a little. That he totally forgot to tell her he invited her over here. Lucy stumbles and is in shock but recovers pretty nicely if you ask me.

Tim being adorable saying he is sorry. That he was gonna tell her when she got out of the shower. But then he got in the shower…oh my lord. Legit announcing they had shower sex this morning. Am I dreaming? Tim Bradford saying out loud they had little morning delight in the shower. I can't believe my ears and I'm ship drunk. S5 continues to feel like a fever dream.

Not only that but talking about their sex like in front of their pseudo daughter LOL Lucy playfully hits Tim but is still beaming at him. The shower sex was so good and distracting he forgot his ex-wife was coming over. I'm reeling. God I love this season so very much. It’s insane the glorious goodies that we got. Also must point out the necklace anytime I see it. I spy with my little eye Lucy’s Valentine’s Day gift that never leaves her neck. *internal screaming*

Lucy is so uncomfortable once Isabel is inside poor thing. Trying to be a good last second hostess. Asking if she’d like something? Isabel says coffee. Tim guides Isabel to the living room. Tamara speed walks to Lucy asking if this is the ex-wife? Lucy scolding her for being so loud I'm dying. This is hysterical.

This is such a mother/daughter moment I love it. Lucy agreeing it is odd he invited her over. Tamara's protective instinct kicking in saying she’s gonna do some research. Lucy doesn’t want this whatsoever. Scolding her once again but the train has left the station haha I love Tamara so much. I hope we get lots of her in S6.

Lucy joins Tim and Isabel in the living room. I have to say before I start. I’m so distracted by Tim’s hands in this scene. Mmm doing things to me. I know I have a one track mind when it comes to him. But look at the man... Anyways she brings up 8 years ago she was UC in the Teska family. Became a mentor to the boss’s daughter Dara. Love the little check in's they do with each other BTW as she speaks.

It's subtle their eye contact but that's their specialty. Silent communication at it's finest. Isabel tells them she got close to Dara. In that weird way you do when you’re pretending to be someone else. They have no idea what that’s like…*cough double down cough* I do love the way Lucy’s eyes dart between Tim and Isabel.

So after Frank her dad was arrested she scattered and left that identity behind. Hadn’t heard from Dara in 8 years. Until now. She had answering service for her old covers. That she left a message for her. It was a distress call and sounds like people are chasing her. She came to them because she’s out of cover. Can’t seem to find her through other channels. Tim says they can go to station get warrant for her phone. See if they can't find her that way.

Once they’re at the station Tim and Isabel are en route to Grey. Smitty welcomes him back and is awkward af with Isabel. Because well Smitty. She asks if he's back from vacation? He says no a shooting. That he just got cleared from it. Says he’s getting there but Lucy keeps trying to get him to meditate. This would be adorable to see btw. I love all of Melissa’s tea ceremony’s and meditation videos. Tim is more the kinda to take a deep breathe and go for a walk and chill like he did in 3x11 with Barnes. Their versions of meditation are vastly different LOL

I love the way Harper walks over to check in on Lucy. Forever be in awe of how they started to where they are now. Nyla being apart of Lucy’s BAMF journey still makes me so happy. Harper asking her if she’s ok with Tim working this case? Lucy letting her know it’s not a big deal…that he’s over her. Nyla shooting back she knows that. She’s making sure Lucy does. Love her looking out for Lucy. Doesn't want her to get riled up over nothing.

Clearly Harper has seen the way Tim beams around her. Knows that man is gone for her. Lucy couldn’t be cuter telling her to stop it with a playful hit. Tamara comes up ruining her 'ok vibe' with her deep dive news. Harper’s face is hilarious. She like Eric has fantastic expressions. They make me laugh so much during this scene. Tamara divulging everything she’s found. Lucy trying to spin it into something positive. That it sounds like she’s got her life together.

Tamara is instigating saying 'Or she wants Tim to see she’s doing well.' Why are you doing this to your mother? Lmao. She loves you and houses you little lady haha I do love Lucy calling herself his new girlfriend in her explanation. Yeah you are. Tamara continuing her instigating mentioning how Tim said she looked good. Also tacking on 'Keep your enemies closer...'Lucy is so exasperated with her I’m dying. Pulling that look from her husbands book.

Isabel asks how long Tim and Lucy have been dating? He says a few months. Can tell he doesn’t want to delve too much into this. Diverts it back to her. Asking if she’s seeing someone? Letting him know yes and no. That he set the bar really high. He sure did and you threw it away madam. Didn't know what she had till it was gone. I know some saw this as her trying to get him back. I didn't see it that way at all. This SL wasn't built on that. This ep had her show back up for a couple reasons. One we will see later on with Lucy but this one here was more about closure IMO. The last time they spoke or the last time we saw them really speak was back in 1x12.

A conversation where she basically blamed him partly for their marriage falling apart and her addiction. That he would be a constant reminder of it. Tim didn't walk away from that convo feeling great about himself. It inflicted some deep wounds for him actually. Those wounds showed themselves in his relationship with Ashley. By not rocking the boat and being less rigid. Him smile is a little uncomfortable and strained. I I think because one it's opening up wounds he's worked really hard to close. Two he's not totally sure he believes her words but he will take them anyways. Some closure is better than none at all.

Tim and Isabel are waiting outside a motel. They tracked Dara down here. Isabel stayed here once in hiding with her. They talk about her UC life a bit. Tim telling her how he held his breath every time she went on a long term assignment. Isabel noting even when she came back she wasn’t fully there. Even though she wanted to be.

Tim pulls his gaze from her. It’s like re-opening a wound for him once again. One that’s been healed over for while. He doesn’t want to pick at it any further. Tim tells her since she’s not a cop anymore she needs backup. Lucy is on her way to them now. Isabel can’t help but note he's dating another UC.

The sweet smile when he thinks about her has me squeeing. Nothing makes him melt faster than talking about her. Telling Isabel ‘But Lucy is different.’ Yeah she is. I love him being able to see that. He looks so damn in love as he speaks. Just giddy and gushing. Also him once again being protective over his relationship with Lucy. It makes me so happy. He couldn’t be more in love with her if tried.

The scene in the truck is fantastic. First off Lucy looks amazing. Second I adore her absolute confidence about Tim. Isabel thinking it’s about Tim she wants to pick her brain. I love her saying 'No she has Tim all figured out.' I mean she does. Has owned the book of Tim for years now. No one knows that man better than she does.

Isabel may have years on her. Knowing him longer but Lucy has her beat in knowing him better. She don’t need no cheat codes for this man haha This scene is really cute. They’re both laughing and having a good time. Tim is confused as hell trying to hear their convo LOL So annoyed and frustrated he can’t hear what they’re talking about.

Lucy gets serious and asks her about UC. If it was worth it for her? Despite all the bad things that happened? I love how honest Isabel is. I also love how this wasn’t a oooh his ex-wife comes back and causes havoc thing. So grateful they went the mature healthy route with this. Was so very lovely to see her back and healthy. Isabel coming back added to the elephant in the room. Lucy being a UC while being with Tim. Like I mentioned earlier she came back for a couple reasons. This is the other one.

Lucy getting an honest opinion about this career she's considering. Isabel is completely honest with her. Saying it took a lot from her. Her husband, her job and her self respect. But she can’t blame all that on being a UC. That she had stuff in her past that added to it. Adding in sounds like Lucy has much healthier coping mechanisms than she did. Lucy is seeking out some answers because she’s having doubts. No doubts that she can do this. Lucy is very aware she is good at it.

What she’s weighing is the cost now. Here’s my take on a Lucy with UC. Take it or leave it and I'll delve into this more at the end as well. Pre-Tim UC made ton of sense for her. Hell even Pre-Tamara as well. Now she has this little patch work family she loves. That’s what she’s leaving behind now with these OP’s. Leaving Tim behind. I think she struggling with the idea of doing so in the future. Isabel’s answer was open and honest. IF she’s prepared to make those sacrifices. IF. I don't know that she is. Not anymore. Falling in love with Tim has changed everything.

Speaking of our boy. Tim ends up calling Lucy asking if the wire is fixed? Poor love is feeling so anxious right now. He needs to know it’s working. Lucy laughs with Isabel and says a wire must’ve disconnected. Mmhmm… Does a sound check for him so he can see it’s ok. They see Dara coming back and Lucy calls him ‘Babe.’ again and I’m floating. It’s such a simple word and makes me all giddy. I need more of this in S6. I really do.

We rejoin them post-op coming home. Love her asking if he wants a beer? Such a domestic moment. We got to start with one and end with one. Fantastic. Lucy mentions 'She seems good. Happy.' Tim asking Isabel? Lucy just replies ‘Hmm.’ Tim saying yeah she deserves it. Seems like he's talking about more than just Isabel. I do love the look in his face when she says this. That empathy of hers shining through.

One of reasons he loves this woman. Genuinely being happy Isabel is ok. There is also a lot behind the second look he gives her before he sits down. How he’s staring at Lucy before he lands on the couch seems loaded. Isabel coming back has stirred up a lot for him. That lingering look he gives her. It's almost got a sad haunted look to it.

Tim has been through so much all he wants is to be happy with Lucy. Saw a sad tag about his expression. Saying how he looks like he doesn’t deserve to be happy. This broke my damn heart. Falls in love again for the first time since Isabel and she’s on the same path she was. He looks so tired and defeated by the time he sits on the couch. I wanna hug him.

We get a cute little moment before this scene turns serious. Lucy mentioning it was nice to get to know the person behind all his stories. Tim asking if that’s why they muted themselves? Ha A little serious but mostly joking. Lucy saying it was just to talk trash about him of course hehe Tim couldn’t be cuter with his smile and saying sarcastically ‘Funny.’ That Lucy smile we all know and love.

The way this man looks at her my goodness. Also let’s not skate passed the sexy stubble adorning his beautiful jawline. Or the fact that they’re drinking and chatting at the end of their day. So married. Making my heart swell. The sassing and teasing never gets old. It’s the best between them. Just hits differently now they’re together too.

Lucy looks at him and takes the plunge into what she wants to talk about. Asking if she can share something vulnerable with him? Gah I love her sharing in the first place. Tim puts down his beer and gives her his full attention. Saying of course she can. I love this first shot of them. Her beautiful view as the backdrop to start this conversation.

Lucy starting off with telling him she loves working undercover. Tim doing his Lucy smile for her. Knowing how much she truly does. Even though it kills him. Lucy goes on to say she’s never gone as deep as Isabel. Doing a 6 month run or a year long. Tim thinking he has this pegged. Voicing she's worried she won't be able to handle it?

This next line kills me. Makes me a little emotional. Because Lucy is so emotional bringing this up. Her worry for him so very evident and deep. Tears brimming in her eyes. The way she touches his shoulder gently. Voicing her vulnerability and fear about him. It’s the way she rubs her hand up and down his shoulder not making eye contact till she speaks her worry.

Ripping my heart right out. Tim putting on a brave face for her and reaches out for her hand. Embracing her warm touch. Covering her hand with his. Telling her he’ll be fine. Ugh but you won’t my love. You really won’t. Even though he knows it is different this time. Because it is. Logically he knows this. Doesn’t mean he’s going to worry any less.

Hell it might even be more worry this go around because of the PTSD. Next ep is proof of that. Lucy not fully believing him says ‘Yeah.’ Tim is refusing to be in the way of her UC aspirations. Reassuring her he will be fine. I love the way he pulls her into his arms for a snuggle. Telling her to 'Come here.'

Her leg over his thigh. *squee* I’m dying. Getting real close to snuggle in for this moment. Tim looks like he goes for her hand but lands on her knee. Lucy looks damn near ready to cry. Tim rubbing her knee/thigh soothingly. My heart. Trying to find some solace in holding her in his arms. Look at his face. This man is anything but fine. He’s so very worried.

Holding her tight to him. Taking comfort in the fact she’s with him now. Savoring they're together right now. They really need to have more conversations about this. Honest ones. Lucy doesn’t want to leave him but he also isn’t telling her to stay. Just lying liars who lie right now. We all know she would have just as much trouble if it was Tim.

This sweet cuddling is beautiful and heartbreaking all at the same time. I am excited we finally got some good couch snuggling. Tim looks absolutely terrified he’s going to lose her though. Not only lose her but to same thing he lost Isabel too. Ugh it hurts so good everyone.

The way Tim slightly shakes his head trying to kick loose his tormented thoughts. *heart clutch* His little smile though is everything. Knowing she so worth going through this again even if scares him to death. Lucy looking gutted about the thought of leaving him behind UC. Knowing he is anything but ok with this scenario. I believe she is having some doubts about being a long term UC now. I think she was hoping Tim would’ve had a different answer. Maybe given her an out about it. I think she’s being torn between what she thinks she should be and what she now wants.

She's been on on the UC path so long it scares her to get off it. I totally get it I wanted to be a dog trainer forever. When first moved to CO it didn’t happen. It was my goal moving there but it didn't happen. So I got a different job settled into that for awhile. Then when things came up for dog trainer while at this other job. I felt the need to still do it even though I was fine at my current job. Why? Because I had been on that path forever thought I had to because of that. But I wanted someone to tell me it was ok not to if I didn't want to anymore.

I think Lucy wants Tim to tell her not to so she has an out and can pursue something else. You can be amazing at something and not have it be your career path. Also her sticking with it might be little bit of that old self doubt creeping back in. Lucy thinking I’m good at UC can I be this good at anything else? Doubting she will be good at anything other than UC. I mean she doubted herself in 5x19 with the test. She has grown but those doubts can still creep back in. *sigh* These two. Both still holding back. Needing to have more convos about this for sure in s6. But what a damn good ep.

~~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

Aaron being Angela’s aide is hilarious. Also her getting the guy to confess cause she’s so pregnant and uncomfortable is hilarious.

Isabel and Lucy being bad asses on their OP was fun to watch.

Thank you to all you amazing readers who like, comment and reblog these reviews. Give me life hehe Shall see you all in 5x21 :)