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#ask me about this goddamn mess
metamatronic · 28 days
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“It makes sense why ASGORE took so long to hire a new Royal Scientist. After all, the old one... Dr. Gaster. What an act to follow!” “One day, he vanished without a trace. They say he shattered across time and space.” “Well, I needn't gossip. After all, it's rude to talk about someone who's listening.”
it’s 2024 and i’m drawing undertale fanart of *checks notes* the gaster followers??? yeah sure alright.
((also i know goner kid is monster kid’s sprite but baby alphys intern has my heart))
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kavehater · 6 months
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AAAH I have a mutual who’s 18 and he sorta kinda is flirting with this one guy who is a minor as a joke of course ( to which a concerned anon said that it’s weird ) but I can’t help but flashback to er*s
#granted the er*s situation was thoroughly complex and the reason she did those things was her copism with not being able to pull ( LLLLLLL )#and ik that guy doesn’t mean any harm etc etc he’s not messed up like some ppl#BUT I DUNNO STILL#sobbing#they’re pretty sweet so#hes*#OH AND HES IRAQI TOO I LEGIT COULDNT BELIEVE THAT#dora daily#lowkey kinda sorta sad that a whole anon was more concerned than ppl i knew and who knew my age#and freely saw it happen so readily#and everyone else on that blog#genuinely and utterly disappointed#it’s always protect minors until the minors need protecting goddamn#this is especially directed at rhy yeah I’m not censoring that#🤷‍♀️#too busy simping over minor characters who don’t have a time skip in canon and aging them up then complaining about it when ppl call out#the brain deadery of that behaviour#girl pls#you did not care about minors from the beginning literally bye#e[redacted] literally ruined my brain chemistry to say the least I will never go into how what she did absolutely muddled my brain never#told anyone and I don’t think I can ever tell someone ever#not to mention practically hyperventilating being unable to breath literally going into madness and ppl think that I’m overreacting and#telling me to shut up about it and blaming me for the situation as if I wanted any of this#lmaolmaolmao#all that and I was expected to do uni girl byeeee I need a good century to recover at least ☠️#the only thing I DID want is friends but clearly that was a hard ask when ppl can get friends just by existing on this god forsaken app#atp I don’t even know what to say literally just wth#yall say mdni with your dumbass banners and decorate it like something special when yall are the ones to keep from minors you disgusting#wastes of clean oxygen 😭 mdni my foot gross ass adults should’ve never trusted them#the way I’d give them therapy to their complex traumas ☠️ imagine relying on a minor for therapy
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feralsneeze · 3 months
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Not sneeze just mental health rambling in the tags
#I’ve spent a very long time trying to change my brain so I can just operate at a neurotypical level#it’s always been impossible and I feel like shit for it#so recently I finally just said#I am not neurotypical and never will be no matter what I do!#so I need to be kind to myself and make the accommodations I need for myself!#which is a work in progress but idk. it’s kind of painful that the neurotypical people in my life act like I’m asking for an arm and a leg#when I’m very genuinely asking if slight changes could be made between us#I absolutely don’t expect anyone to change their lifestyle for me or anything#it’s stuff like not holding long conversations when I’m in the middle of writing because it messes up my flow#and I tell my family beforehand! hey I’m gonna write for a couple of hours does anyone need anything from me before#and they say no! but then ten minutes later will start telling me a story about their day#which I’m okay to hear BEFORE I start a writing session or AFTER#and I goddamn communicate that!!! but they act like I’m asking for nobody to ever speak to me again#another thing is that I CANNOT eat anything past an expiration date#I know it’s still probably good but my brain will just keep saying YOURE GONNA DIE OF FOOD POISONING#so say the half gallon of milk is past its date#I will buy a fresh one to start using myself but I don’t toss the old one because I know others don’t care as much#and they they complain that I’m wasting milk#like I’m sorry it’s 1) my money and 2) how is it being wasted when y’all are happy to drink it til it’s done?#idk man!! neurotypical people sure do say that shit should be easy for neurodivergent people#but they sure do struggle to be slightly accommodating without bitching#idk rant over peace out
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What if I just started sobbing
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apollo-zero-one · 6 months
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Man I can't believe I had the chance to go to a performing arts school up through middle school and I fuckin quit after 6 months just because I got bullied. BRO YOUR HOMEWORK WAS POETRY!! YOU HAD TO PRACTICE DANCING TO COTTON EYE JOE AS YOUR BIG UNIT TEST. GYM CLASS HAD A CIRCUS UNIT!! YOU HAD A WHOLE DAILY CLASS ON IMPROV!!! YOU FOOL!! YOU ABSOLUTE IMBICILE!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A YOUTUBER!!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN ONE OF THOSE TWEENAGERS GETTING LOADED BY MAKING SHITTY YOUTUBE SHORTS IN 2008-14!! But noooOoooOOOoo little miss Noellie (who WANTED TO GO!! who worked SO HARD and sent in an application essay and did an INTERVIEW to get in!!) couldn't handle disruptive classmates or little scuffles and petty grudges and general Attitude of the other students and cried to mommy to put her back in public school. I am EATING MY HAIR over what Could Have Been. I COULD BE SOMEONE'S ANNOYING YOUTUBER!! I could be a DISGRACED DISNEY CHANNEL STAR!! I could be an America's Got Talent winner! A mild to moderately successful comedian! I could be making short films!! But no no no precious thin skinned baby me heard a few new cus words and watched a teacher get heckled and begged to give up The Dream in favor of?? Quiet math tests?? I am such a fucking quitter I quit everything the second it gets too hard I always take the out as soon as it's offered what's my fucking damage.....
#I had SO MUCH POTENTIAL and I SQUANDERED IT!! weak ass third grade PUSSY! Your life could have been SO SICK!!#or you could at least be addicted to cocain or something interesting like that!! Boring ass goody two shoes always just staying home doing#NOTHING bitch make a REAL FRIEND go to a God Damn PARTY live a little instead of just hiding in the closet eating saltine crackers for years#waiting for it to be quiet outside before you ever even toed the line#mentally ill self-isolating motherfucker#you could have shrugged it off you could have GROWN A PAIR and FOUGHT BACK but you just ran and cried for mommy#victim complex little bitch baby always whining and exaggerating and making shit up fucking LIAR I am you and I KNOW what you did and I know#you knew it wasn't the truth and you regretted it the moment it came out of uour mouth but once you'd said it you just swallowed it back and#doubled down incriminating or discrediting others with your lies. For why? Because you didn't like them? You could have ruined someone's#life you wouldn't have hesitated mayhe you did and don't even remember because you cant keep your mouth shut with your pants ablaze#manipulative little shit and to WHAT END? Pity? Sympathy? Attention? Entertainment?? What was even going on in your stupid ugly head?#This is a callout post for my third grade self that possessed demon ass evil nine year old. That kid drowned anthills in olive oil and#poisoned a wild animal once. That kid cut plants just to see if they oozed. That kid modified her whole ass personality on a dime for a boy#she had a crush on. INSTANTLY dropped a LIFELONG CULTURAL ALLEGIANCE (thats what football teams were like back then in our town) because he#said he had the opposite allegiance??? What the fuck? girl had NO integrity none zip zilch.#No empthy either that kid looked at everyone else on earth like they were friggin space aliens and she was the only one with Real feelings.#bitch literally thought like 'I have Feelings they just have Reactions' bitch what the fuckkkkk#that nine year old was fucked the hell up!!!#and for literally NO REASON!! No cause!! Just born fucking evil and weird. jesus fuck.#Evil ass bitch caused her autistic brother months of nightmares and then laughed about it and wrote poetry about how evil he was because he?#was a kid??? Normal sibling rivalry taken way way way too far defamatory ass statements#and this girl had NO CONSEQUENCES because she could lie and manipulate her way out of ANYTHING she had the baby eyes and the helpless charm#and played dumb soooo well . read people like some calculative evil AI scanning their faces for microexpressions and overanalyzing each word#choice like holy shit. its not That Deep. pretentious shit trying to play 5D chess on a checkers board.#Manipulating shit just to see what happens?? zero awareness?? no asking just skipping straight to testing for yourself??#'What happens if I step on this' it fucking breaks 'what does that taste like?' it's not fucking yours to mess with 'if I hit this person#how will they respond?' they'll be upset use your goddamn judgement you are NINE not TWO do you even care a little about any other person??#Are you just living in some other reality???#callout post for the fucking demon child inside of me#im so goddamn problematic I'm so so so deeply mentally disturbed and broken for no reason
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trashbaget · 2 years
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nobody asked but here you go anyway <3
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theswedishpajas · 1 year
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Do you have any songs that you like and recommend? Related to Beetlejuice or not! 🪲 🧃 🎶
Ooooo!!!!!!!!!!
I’m gonna preface this by saying that I like to listen to a lot of random music with varying degrees of adult content and if you’re a minor or not comfortable with that stuff, please don’t take my recommendations at face value and keep yourself safe and happy. A lot of the music I listen to gets really vulgar and dark and often touch on very existential or crude topics as those are the things my brain latches onto due to my own mental health.
I have so much music I really enjoy but it’s so hard to pin it down cus I either love every song from one band/artist almost equally (and extremely much) or I love random specific songs but to a lesser degree…!
I’m a really big fan of Will Wood in general, prolly my alltime favorite artist!! I don’t even really know an album I would recommend tho as all of them are so very different!!!
It’s kinda on a spectrum of depression and unhinged to somewhat okay and pretty calm, with his first album being on the unhinged&depression side and then in order until his latest album they slowly become more calm and healthier but still sorta struggling? That’s how I think I’d describe his music!!
The topics in the songs are very existencial a lot and get really dark so that’s something to look out for if that’s not gonna work out for you tho!!!!!
For a beginner listener I guess I might recommend the Self-Ish album, mainly because that’s the first album by him that I listened to, but also cus it’s really energetic and fun in it’s existencialism, it’s just kinda crazy more than anything else-!
Other than that…
*flips through youtube real quick to see what I like cus my memory doesn’t work right*
OH OF COURSE
Now, my taste in music is kinda fucked up-
But I’ll give a (much smaller than expected) list of songs (ESPECIALLY WITH THE MUSIC VIDEO) that I really enjoy for that exact reason:
Bring Me All Of Your Teeth by Hot Dad
O b l i v i o n by Ctrl Ult Delete
I am realizing I don’t wanna call songs I like fucked up without them being very specific cus idk what’s normal or not and I don’t want anybody to think a song they like is weird in a bad way or anything but I feel like these two are okay to call kinda fucked up!!! (Affectionate)
UHHHHHH
Man, I really don’t have any good grasp on anything I enjoy at all unless it’s a special interest???
I’d be happy to share the playlists I listen to the most if anybody wants to listen to them cus idk what else I’d actively recommend???
#ask#rambles#music#I am a goddamn mess don’t look at me lmao#I admire you humoring me and my weird brain and indulging in my very strange interests!!!#this lil wrinkly lump of mine which is also my entire being in the realest sense is all over the place all the time#there was literally a time I completely genuinely listened to all the Clowncore albums on repeat for a month or two-!#my gray matter blob is just going wild-!!#I literally have no idea about anything at any point unless I am staring at it or am asked a very specific question#idk what I enjoy man. I’m just a lil dude with autism and ADHD and suddenly I know all the songs by a random fucked up artist-!!!#thank you for the ask#I know I didn’t really answer very elegantly but I never do with things so I guess this was the outcome that was expected maybe-?#i talk so much and never about the topic at hand and suddenly I’ve recommended a whole-ass thing instead of being specific#I can never tell what the rules are for questions like this but technically the Self-Ish album contains songs?? (and only songs ofc)#so I guess I didn’t answer it WRONGLY technically??#idk man idk#I would recommend beetlejuice music in general but my brain is taking that very literally and I’m not about to ask-#-people to go check out Vieze Jack cus that doesn’t feel very responsible even if I do absolutely love that gross babie of a man#it’s all dutch and I understand nothing but there IS a dedicated person out there who uploads his music videos with english subs#and I also have a friend who helps me translate when I need to (everyone say thank you to Kerenitychan!!!)#he started as a beetlejuice street/stage/whatever performer and later used it to make a name for himself#he has very weird toonjuice vibes and I love him so much-!!!#he once did the ice nucket challenge by pissing into a bucket and pouring it over a girl (but not really) and he’s so fucked up#bucket*#I love him so much#but he’s been trying to slowly change his brand. ge’s still got strong juice vibes but he’s gotten a more BJ-adjacent vibe now instead of-#-the full stripes and dark purple around the eyes and whoever does his hair is better now and stuff and I think his budget has just-#-improved over-all and idk he looks nice idk#ANYWAYS I NEED TO STOP RAMBLING ABOUT VJ LMAO#I should try to find my fanart of him and post it on here cus I haven’t yet since it’s not new art OTL
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piplupod · 1 year
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WHY DO I NEED TO MAKE /TWO/ ACCOUNTS TO SEND IN A RESUME TO THIS PLACE WHAT THE FUCK !!!!!!!
also i just found eraser shavings in my ear HFSHDGDSJKL
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mypunkpansexualtwin · 2 years
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Stomach is a roiling ball of acid and self loathing, can't get enough air in my lungs for the last 48 hours even when I'm forcing it, and the only relief is when I'm sobbing so hard it feels like my throat is gonna bleed from screaming. Haven't felt like this since I had my medication actively trying to kill me, only this time it really is just me.
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noxtivagus · 2 years
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SHADOWBRINGERS.... listening to the song again n oh god i love the lyrics so so much we r ignoring the fact that i have to wake up in like less than 4 hours
#🌙.vent#i just have 1 assignment due tmrrw n i don't want to do it :') like yeah i'm definitely still going to but. it's a letter to ourselves....#i write a lot to myself that is very much evident but it's so hard to actually organize it. & fuck too bcs it's due 10 pm later today#i hate doing things for the sake of academics. says me w my grades lmfao but despite how well i manage i really do hate the school system#i wanted to ramble abt ffxiv oh no i get so distracted when i start writing. but. god my mind rn i don't understand#🥹 this stupid mental block ???? w the break nearly ending there's sm more i have to do but i need to sleep . but not having this started is#messing me up sm rn. i want to put a lot of effort into it but i'm at a loss for words. i wrote some ideas days back but i've changed a bit#this moment ideally right now where i'm in a better mood than i have been for the past few days but not as brain empty#a balance of fiction and reality. enough to keep me not sad but enough to keep me stressed?#i would like to get it started now. i know i want to. but i can't. i just can't seem to. it's not lack of motivation right now. it's.#....maybe a fear? a fear that gives me some sort of mental block. because i really really want to at least start writing something but#i can't start. & goddamn this is not what i meant to write about i wanted to write of shadowbringers & maybe a little of today#but i guess this just has been. bothering me for a while. buried somewhere in my mind#i've been this age for like. more than a week now huh. it's daunting it's scary but i've always loved & sought the thrill of challenges. bu#alright i wasn't able to read anything i wanted to. nor did i watch as much as i would've liked. & i didn't really bond with my friends#save for texts here n then. talking in ffxiv w that one too. & that very one call on bday yh. & tumblr too ofc c: but i didn't do the schoo#stuff i wanted to do this break. but my rank in pjsekai's lowering. nor playing arknights/nier again yet. & fixing my sleep. but....#i didn't wake up any later than 4 pm. i went out for a walk earlier with apollo. i wrote asks to a friend here on tumblr. new books.#new game. plans to make an fc in ffxiv. i ate what i could. i got up even when it hurt. i'm playing gbf again. i'm rlly happy abt that#perhaps it's not enough for me. i can't get rid of my heavy regrets so easily. but acknowledging what i have done that was good enough#trying my best to be kind to myself in this moment even though i feel like crying. acknowledging my pain. maybe. maybe that's#i'm listening to ashes of dreams rn fuck i'm actually going to cry i think bulbel is next in my queue i#it hurts yes n i feel like crying right now but there's. this ache in my chest that replaced the cold emptiness earlier#maybe that's not a good thing uhh but the warmth. that warmth. i'm alive i'm real n there's a tomorrow n that's enough hope#it has to be. it fucking has to be. just. little steps. guide my own self slowly n softly like i do for others. i deserve that too.#i'll give it to myself. surely i must owe myself at least that much. being human comes with its many burdens but i don't need to be#so harsh to myself right? ironic saying that right now while i know there's something so dear to me i'm denying right now#it's like i'm a wilting flower fighting against time to stay alive. but the petals slowly decay n it gets colder the longer the dark night#would an outside light help the blossom find its own light? or would it make it disappear. i wonder#did the flower grow to be meant to be undeserving of such kindness? or are there thorns on its petals that serve as an unbeknownst barrier?
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0dotexe · 1 month
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2 months ago, last month, today.
Progressssss
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theaologies · 6 months
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Had to go out to the car but there was a wolf spider bigger than my PALM on the wall outside and then when I looked again it was GONE 😩
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doctorbrown · 6 months
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❌ CROSS MARK — how would your life be different if Marty had never been in it? would it be better or worse? (Listen you asked me and I HAD to ask you, hnnnnn,,,)
Sometimes being fielded questions like this is inevitable. The infinite possibilities of life and all its mysteries are deeply interesting, he can't deny this, but he finds it less enjoyable to consider when it involves picking apart the already tightly woven threads of one’s own life to put it together again in the dark without that one crucial strand that holds everything together.
Truthfully, Emmett would rather dismiss the question rather than jump down this rabbit hole, but after a moment’s deliberation, he lets out a resigned sigh and sinks deeper into his chair. Einstein shuffles over, laying himself at his master’s feet.
❝Well for one,❞ Emmett begins with a rueful smile, ❝I might not be here to answer this question at all. I still could have been shot in the parking lot that night in a failed attempt to escape my attackers and the DeLorean might have been discovered come morning, when staff came to open the mall. It could’ve been seized by the federal government, reverse-engineered, and weaponised—or worse. The more likely scenario is that without Marty there to protect, I suspect I would have jumped in the time machine myself and wound up in my own past.❞
He may have had no choice but to seek out his own temporally local avatar and solicit his help.
And from that fateful night of October 26, 1985, the rest of his life may have taken quite a different path. All of his good fortune since that night, everything, can be traced back to a single point—Marty. His family, his happiness, his new place in life, none of this would have come to fruition without the young man present every step of the way, influencing things in a way Emmett would never have anticipated.
A promise in the driveway of Marty’s home at Lyon Estates prompted him to look up his friend in the future, only to discover the misfortune that had befallen him and Jennifer, trickling down to his children. Marty didn’t deserve that. Nor did Jennifer and certainly not their children. And while he’d convinced himself this one small change would make life infinitely better for them going forward, it’s only now, years later, that he’s swallowed the truth’s bitter medicine, forced to come to terms with the fact that not all of it was motivated by pure altruism no matter how he tried to spin the tale.
The time machine wasn’t for personal gain, but that was exactly what he and his loved ones had gotten out of it.
But if Marty wasn’t there, there would be no reason for him to attempt to influence anything, no reason to return back to that point in the future. There would be no almanac, no lightning strike, to reason for him to end up in the Nineteenth Century in the moment he did, no pieces in play to result in his inadvertently changing the timeline to save the woman who would become the love of his life—
A shadow crosses Emmett’s face as remembers Hell Valley, that nightmarish caricature of a reality in which Tannen’s power went unchecked, poisoning the streets and the people with the seeds of corruption he’d planted. It was his first glimpse of both of their own personal hells and nothing he’d managed to unearth even hinted remotely at the fact that he and Marty had made any sort of acquaintance. Perhaps if they had, their fates might have turned out slightly differently.
❝It’s safe to say that without him, my life wouldn’t have turned out the way it did following that night. But since I didn’t first meet Marty until I was in my fifties, most of my life up until that point remains unchanged.❞
When Emmett thinks back now to all the years Marty has been in his life, a constant and dare he say expected presence alongside him and Einie in the garage, he's stricken by an uncharacteristic cloud of melancholy that hangs darkly over his head.
All the little changes Marty had brought to his life had become commonplace. Routine that he could easily settle into, even when Marty still found ways to surprise him at every turn. Now forced to consider them at length, even the non-exhaustive list he quickly begins to compile in his mind is lengthy, peppered with examples that he only now realises were the result of the kid's influence.
He had come to like Marty's, ❝Hey Doc, you home?❞ as a way of announcing his presence like clockwork even when he started letting himself in with the spare key. It was always said with the same cheerful note that brought a spark of life to the garage.
There would be nobody to look at his inventions, even the ones that were still little more than half-formed ideas, and still think they'd be worth a damn.
❝Well over a decade’s work had already gone into the time machine and with or without him, I would have completed it. Though, whether or not he realised it, he did often say some things that led to a burst of inspiration.❞ Emmett may be conventionally smarter by academia's standards, but Marty is a brilliant, insightful young man, sometimes wiser than his years.
❝And I dare say that my musical interests would still be rather limited. Marty would tell me that I was stuck in the past❞—Emmett snorts at the particular phrase, remembering how barely a moment later, Marty would launch into an enthusiastic conversation about some of his favourite songs and artists, many of which were well before his time—❝and that I needed to broaden my horizons. I wasn’t particularly interested in the new noise that the kids were raving about, but after some very long discussions and a little bit of pleading on his part, I gave it a shot.❞ And it had grown on him, much to his surprise.
He also might not have ever reached for his old saxophone again without Marty’s unshakeable desire to hear him play.
All the small things keep piling up. The question is too broad, allowing for far too many variables and possibilities to ever settle on a single answer.
Arriving at a truly satisfactory answer to this question could take the rest of his days, so Emmett cuts himself off there.
❝The possibilities for how my life would be different are too overwhemingly numerous to consider. If we accept the existence of multiple realities, then every choice we make that has a significant impact on future events creates a deviation in which events unfold differently, branching into infinity.
❝We’ve learned that sometimes, all it takes is a single misspoken word in the wrong place and time to have dire consequences on the outcome of a person’s future. I may be a failed inventor. I may have decided to go public with the time machine without the negative experiences we had on our trips and rocked the world with my discovery of time travel. I may have accidentally altered history in a way that I couldn’t undo. I may have needed to return to teaching or find alternate employment. I can’t say.
❝But what I do know is that I would’ve lost one of the dearest friends I’ve ever had. He is the one person who, even when he had no real reason to, always believed in me and what I could accomplish. My life would be far lonelier without his constant presence and I'd rather not think about a reality like that for too much longer for fear that somehow, it’ll come to pass.❞
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IC CHARACTER DEV. QUESTIONS
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suni-writings · 3 months
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Stop hating me.
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jude bellingham x fem!reader
wc: 2.1k
+18!! mdni
(content warning: smut, fingering, unprotected sex [have safe sex pls])
ps: it's been a while since i wrote smut pls be nice about it
“Bellingham, we shouldn’t-”
“Save your regret for later, princess,” he cut her off, quickly finding her lips into a sloppy kiss.
Pinned against the wall, with his muscular body pressed against hers, she knew salvation wouldn’t come. There was no god, no force of the nature that could stop what was bound to happen. That could stop them.
“We both are going to regret this,” she mumbled between the kiss, her voice hoarse and low, panting. Why was she even trying to deny it?
“Jesus, princess. Can you shut your fucking mouth for a second?” He asked with a small smirk, his breath sparse. “So feisty. Always wanting to have the last word, always wanting to control everything…”
As the taunting words left Jude’s mouth, his right hand started moving slowly. From her neck to her collarbones, to the valley of her breasts, to her lower belly, applying just enough pressure to hear her pant once again. To hear her losing control, losing her morals and everything she had ever believed happened between them.
“Let it go,” he whispered in her ear, his plump lips brushing against her ear and gently biting her earlobe. “Let it go, doll. Let me take care of you.”
Everything was a mess. This wasn’t the moment nor the place for this to happen. She wasn’t even supposed to do as much as look at him. But something about his unbuttoned social shirt and his now wrinkled suit, the intoxicating smell of his expensive cologne and that goddamn smirk of his made her brain stop working, being guided by something so primal that she had yet to understand.
“It’s- a fucking club bathroom. Anyone could come in-”
Jude just groaned, annoyed and frustrated. He knew he had chosen the only woman who wouldn’t want to take him tonight – but he also knew that was merely a façade. If she thought he didn’t notice her lingering stares, the way she’d hold her breath next to him whenever she was slightly caught by surprise and the desire in her eyes, she was so wrong.
“Let them fucking come. They’ll see me and leave in the same instant. I don’t fucking care if there’ll be headlines about my behavior tomorrow.” He said, staring into her eyes, his tone firm. “Let me take care of you. Know you need it. See right through you, princess.”
She opened her mouth to come with a smart retort, but he was quicker. Jude’s hands went to the back of her thighs, suddenly pulling her and lifting her of the ground with ease. Guiding her to the sink countertop and gently placing her there – perhaps the only gentle act he had and would have throughout the night.
“The more you talk, the more I’ll want to shut you up,” he warned her with a husky tone, his finger under her chin to make sure she was looking at him. “And that’ll just make me tease you more and not give you what you want.”
She gulped and gave him a small nod. She’d never say it out loud, she’d never give him the pleasure of agreeing with him. So difficult, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. After all, he was more than pleased with the challenge of making her scream his name to prove otherwise.
“Good,” he said, his thumb tracing her bottom lip as she looked at him. Uncertainty, desire and frustration placed behind her eyelids. He could see all of that. “You’re so pretty. So desirable,” he whispered, his mouth so close to hers that she could feel his breath. “Wouldn’t want you spending the night with anyone else. It’d fucking kill me, princess.”
She barely remembered how they ended up in that bathroom. How they went from barely looking at each other to this closeness in the span of a few hours. She knew she had drunk as much as him – they wouldn’t be there otherwise. Not when they’ve always claimed to hate each other. If they were in their right minds, they wouldn’t even be in the same room.
She remembered having a man hitting on her as she drank. He was attractive, for sure, but nothing that would make her give him any attention. She remembered smoking her strawberry mango vape when Jude abruptly took it out of her hand when he wasn’t even that close a few moments before. His tight grip on her wrist, not enough to hurt her, but enough to keep it there, guiding her away from the man, was something she couldn’t forget.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” She asked him with annoyance as he guided them to a more secluded spot. God, she hated admitting it, but he looked so good in formal clothes.
“Taking you away from that fucking douchebag that was eating you with his eyes,” he retorted, the anger clear in his tone as he gave her back her vape. She quickly put it in her purse. “You have to stop smoking that crap, as well.”
“I’m sorry, but since when did you feel entitle to control my life in any way whatsoever?” She asked with a sarcastic smile, annoyed at his attitude.
“If you think, for a second, I’d let you leave the club with that guy, with someone that’s not even close to your level-” he stopped once he realized what had said. He licked his lips and sighed, his hands resting on his waist as she looked at him with confusion.
“Who would be close to my level, then?” She asked with crossed arms, tilting her head.
Jude just gave her a small, cocky grin that he always carried with him. Thank God for his drinks, because only then he’d have the courage to retort her so easily.
“Who do you think, princess?”
After that, it was all blurry. A mix of tongues against each other, the taste of his strong drinks, his cologne, his hands pulling her closer. The anger, the frustration, the desire – until stumbling upon the bathroom because they had no other choice when lust controlled them so easily.
The feeling of the cold tiles of the countertop and Bellingham’s confession brought her back to the moment, looking into his eyes.
“I wasn’t going to leave the club with him,” she said, her eyes falling to his mouth. So, so close that she could reminisce the taste of it. “I wasn’t going to leave the club with anyone.”
Jude seemed rather pleased by her reply, his body finding a way to be even closer to hers. Despite always trying to say they hated each other; it was always the same – like magnets being drawn. All they had been doing, this whole time, was prolongating the inevitable. He was fucking tired of it.
“Good,” he whispered, his hand slowly travelling to the insides of her thighs, dangerously close to her warmth. She held back a whimper and he grinned at the sight. It was almost as if she was already coming undone from a single movement. “Wouldn’t want anyone but me to have the privilege.”
She looked up at Jude, suddenly realizing how big he was, how easily he was towering her and she could barely see past his long shoulders. With a sudden movement, her arms were now resting on his shoulders, caressing them.
“Need you to say it’s mine, darling. Would you do that for me, hm?” He whispered in her ear, expecting a tantrum, some remark to show how bratty she was. But his fingers were too close to her core for her to even come up with something that smart.
“That what is yours?,” was the best she could come up with, acting innocent despite the way her voice cracked.
Jude, in response, only looked deeply into her eyes as he pressed two fingers to her covered warmth, feeling the damp that was formed.
“That this is mine.” He spoke lowly, pressing his fingers even harder, earning a gasp from her as her eyelids shut, as if she was still trying to hold herself back. To gather some self-control.
“It’s yours,” she whispered. Jude thought about demanding her to speak louder, but it was already so much than he ever expected her to say.
His middle finger tossed her underclothing to the side, his index finger already moving over to her clits with enough pressure, in slow, circle motions.
“Already so wet, princess. All that denial and for what?” Bellingham chuckled lowly, almost as if as taunting her, as if his own underwear wasn’t feeling extremely tight. “Tell me what you want.”
She sighed. She had been holding back for so long that she decided that it wasn’t time to play around anymore.
“Want you to fuck me,” she said, looking into his deep brown eyes in a silent plea.
And how could he ever deny her anything when she was looking at him like that?
He inserted two digits into her core, moving them around her walls, trying to know which spot pleasured her the most just from the way she had to shut her eyelids strongly. She felt so warm and looked so desperate that the bulge in his pants became even more apparent, if that was possible.
“I wish I could just slam myself into you right now,” he whispered in her ear as his fingers began to distance from each other inside her, scissoring her slowly as she gasped. “But I need to get you prepped. Don’t want to hurt you that much.”
When Jude said, her eyes fell to the prominent bulge, realizing how big he actually was and whimpering just from imagining. He chuckled against her ear as she clenched around his fingers, knowing exactly what went on inside her head.
After realizing she was almost about to cum on his fingers, Jude took them off her and she whimpered again at the sudden emptiness. He sucked his fingers as the other hand undid his belt in a single, quick motion. She rushed to help to unbutton his pants, and even more eagerly to help him take his underwear off just enough so his cock would jump out.
As it sprung out, she watched it in all its rigidness. It was bigger than she expected, and his tip was already leaking with precum. It hit her, then, that Jude was just as vulnerable and desperate as she was.
Her hand quickly grabbed his cock, moving slowly and spreading his precum around it so her movements came with more ease. To his own surprise, he moaned, not being able to hold back anymore.
Jude gripped around her wrist, taking her hand away from his member and lining his hips with her entrance. His tip teased her once, twice, threatening to finally go inside her. Eager and impatient, she moved her hips, so he was finally inside her.
He moved slowly as she felt like she was burning from inside out, having a hard time adjusting to his size. As he finally bottomed inside her, Jude gave her some time to get used to it. When she gave him a small nod, that’s when he started moving.
“Shit,” he mumbled in her ear, trying his best to not go too hard. She clenched around him, whimpering and moaning, not bothering anymore to hide a single sound. It was driving him insane. “You feel so, so good.”
“Jude,” she called him out, her eyes closed. He thought it was the prettiest sight he had ever seen – her hair all messy, her dress wrinkled, panting and desperate. If he wasn’t in the same state, he would be taunting her. Usually, that was how he was. But, for some reason, it was different with her. He needed to be inside her.
He didn’t even realize when exactly his thrusts became harder and erratically. He only knew that because she was moaning his name more often, louder.
When he accidentally hit her sweet spot, she saw stars behind her eyes, arching her back and rolling her eyes. God, if she had more of this, she would drool. She couldn’t think – not at all, not when he was slamming into her walls like that.
“Jude, I’m-” she clenched tightly around him, and he moaned.
“I know, baby,” he was panting as well. He needed to make her cum, and perhaps, more desperately, to cum. He didn’t know for how long he could handle it. “Cum for me, princess. You’ve been such a good girl, taking my cock so well. Cum.”
It felt more like he was ordering than praising, but, as soon as she came, he spilled inside her walls.
“Fuck,” Jude said, trying his best to grab for air as his head fell to her shoulders. She caressed him softly. Even though they were both a mess and could barely breathe, he chuckled from her act. Smirking, he looked at her and said: “Was that all I needed to do for you to stop hating me?”
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maiiuelle · 2 months
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what if rafe and reader are more than friends but they didn’t really put a label on it and even top and kelce noticed but rafe still has the occasional hookup and one night when reader was js thinking abt stuff and then she realizes that shes inlove with rafe but when she came over to tannyhill to confess and rafe answered with his hair all messed up and him shirtless and he basically smelled like sex and when rafe asks why shes there she randomly just runs away and cries in her car while driving home so basically just angst (does that make sense idk)
you feel like your going crazy, standing at tannyhill’s front stoop twiddling your thumbs.
your relationship with rafe cameron is complicated; you’d almost call it a situationship, but you couldn’t put a label on it. you’d been going to all of his parties to serve as arm candy, posed with him at the golf course, and hooked up with him more than once. it’s beyond casual, but he has yet to pop the girlfriend question. even with his little commitment, you’d been finding it hard to keep your mind off of him — or rather, what the two of you had done together. you have to mean more to him than he’s letting on.
so, you knock on tannyhill’s giant glass front door again, biting your lip nervously as you look over the texts you’d already sent him to let him know you were coming.
“hey! just thinking ab u.. are u free tn? <3” you asked right after work, hopping in the shower in hopes you could head straight to his place after.
“busy. work shit. u free on friday?”
“oh idk. sucks we cant do tn, i miss u.” you followed your message with a picture of you sitting on your pink bedsheets, posing in the mirror to show off your silky pajamas. you thought he just needed a little convincing, but he didn’t respond.
“can u call me before bed? sorry, i know u said ur busy.”
by then it had been an hour or two, still no response from rafe. you were pacing around your room. all you wanted was to spend time with him, even if that meant lounging around while he works. anything would do, you just couldn’t stay away.
you came to the conclusion had to show him how much you care somehow, and what better way than to go to tannyhill and confess your love for him — it would be like a romance movie, he’d probably be exhausted from work and happy to see you by then!
“i’m sorry if this is sudden, i just feel like i really need to see you. i’ll just drop by for a second xoxo see u soon”
suddenly, the front door swings open, revealing a very disheveled rafe cameron. his bangs are a mess, sweaty and strewn across his forehead. his whole face is red, his lips swollen, and all he’s wearing are blue flannel pajama pants. you’d seen him like this before, pussy drunk and stumbling around a dark room. your heart deflates as he pushes open the front door, familiar blue eyes squinting at you through the night. “the fuck are you doing? you’re gonna wake up my fuckin’ dad.”
“work shit, huh? really, rafe?” you snap, looking him over completely disgusted. “what’re you d—”
“nah, nah. i told you i was busy — did i not?” he cuts you off, holding a finger in your face and grabbing your upper arm with the other hand, making you jump. “could’a kept yourself from all this if you just listened to me, right? right?” he jostles you, like he could shake a response out of you, but you’re frozen. he lets you go at the sight of your face, squeezing the bridge of his nose. “fuckin’ figures.”
“are you.. high?” you pull your knit cardigan tighter around your shoulders, tears already beginning to brim your waterline at the utter betrayal.
rafe recoils, acting overly offended to take the heat off his obvious cheating. “you’re gonna talk to me like that at my own goddamn house? do me a favor — go home, and i’ll think about callin’ you.”
“don’t bother. asshole.” you cry, turning away. the last glimmer of hope you have is snuffed out when you hear the glass door slam behind him, leaving you alone once again.
defeated, you retreat back to your car, wiping your tear stained cheeks pitifully. you should have known, rafe cameron is a player.
➺ do you…
⟡ hear out rafe’s apology
OR
⟡ tell jj what rafe did
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starkeyisthelastname · 2 months
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Pornstar!Rafe who almost makes you break the camera 💦⭐️
He’d have the camera on its tripod, aimed and zoomed right at your dripping hole as he lifted the skirt you had on up. You were sitting in between his thighs, your back leaning against his broad chest as his hand traveled down to your folds. The lens captured the distinctive gold signet ring he wore, his thick digits spreading your pussy lips apart.
“She’s so goddamn wet for me.” His voice spoke, low and raspy as he breathed in your ear. “And so fuckin greedy, huh baby?” He asked, pushing his long middle finger into your soaking hole. You nodded, letting out a small whimper as he pulled it out slowly only to bring two fingers now to dip in. Even with his digits inside you felt full and the camera was recording every delicious second.
“Such a pretty fuckin’ pussy.” He spoke, looking at it in the viewfinder as he brought his fingers out to rub your aching clit. He then spread your folds again, the camera getting a close shot of your leaking cream. He would lean his chin over your shoulder, aiming his salvia to spit directly down your body so that it ran down to your already messy hole.
His two digits would slide back in, this time curling up to hit your g-spot. You let out a moan, his thick fingers filling your cunt as he pushed them in and out at a brutal pace. You squirmed, already knowing where this was going and knew you weren’t going to be able to control it. His other arm wrapped around your waist, keeping you still as he finger fucked your gushy hole.
It didn’t take much for him to get you to turn into a faucet. He could feel you already clenching around him, the pad of his fingers bruising your sweet spot as he had been with you long enough now to know exactly when you were about to burst. “Rafe! Y- gonna fuckin cum!” You squeaked out, chest heating up and pussy fluttering.
He pulled his fingers out, his hand rubbing your clit back and forth in a rapid motion to watch the fountain of juices squirt out everywhere. He groaned against your neck, slapping your drenched cunt with his massive hand before shoving two fingers in deep again. “She’s only a squirter for me.” His voice clear through the audio as he would proudly tell everyone he’s the one that made you make a mess. “Ain’t that right, angel? Do that shit again.” He spat, feeling you clench around him, only for you to spray the camera lens, letting the video end with an “Oh shit.”
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