#I am a goddamn mess don’t look at me lmao
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Do you have any songs that you like and recommend? Related to Beetlejuice or not! 🪲 🧃 🎶
Ooooo!!!!!!!!!!
I’m gonna preface this by saying that I like to listen to a lot of random music with varying degrees of adult content and if you’re a minor or not comfortable with that stuff, please don’t take my recommendations at face value and keep yourself safe and happy. A lot of the music I listen to gets really vulgar and dark and often touch on very existential or crude topics as those are the things my brain latches onto due to my own mental health.
I have so much music I really enjoy but it’s so hard to pin it down cus I either love every song from one band/artist almost equally (and extremely much) or I love random specific songs but to a lesser degree…!
I’m a really big fan of Will Wood in general, prolly my alltime favorite artist!! I don’t even really know an album I would recommend tho as all of them are so very different!!!
It’s kinda on a spectrum of depression and unhinged to somewhat okay and pretty calm, with his first album being on the unhinged&depression side and then in order until his latest album they slowly become more calm and healthier but still sorta struggling? That’s how I think I’d describe his music!!
The topics in the songs are very existencial a lot and get really dark so that’s something to look out for if that’s not gonna work out for you tho!!!!!
For a beginner listener I guess I might recommend the Self-Ish album, mainly because that’s the first album by him that I listened to, but also cus it’s really energetic and fun in it’s existencialism, it’s just kinda crazy more than anything else-!
Other than that…
*flips through youtube real quick to see what I like cus my memory doesn’t work right*
OH OF COURSE
Now, my taste in music is kinda fucked up-
But I’ll give a (much smaller than expected) list of songs (ESPECIALLY WITH THE MUSIC VIDEO) that I really enjoy for that exact reason:
Bring Me All Of Your Teeth by Hot Dad
O b l i v i o n by Ctrl Ult Delete
I am realizing I don’t wanna call songs I like fucked up without them being very specific cus idk what’s normal or not and I don’t want anybody to think a song they like is weird in a bad way or anything but I feel like these two are okay to call kinda fucked up!!! (Affectionate)
UHHHHHH
Man, I really don’t have any good grasp on anything I enjoy at all unless it’s a special interest???
I’d be happy to share the playlists I listen to the most if anybody wants to listen to them cus idk what else I’d actively recommend???
#ask#rambles#music#I am a goddamn mess don’t look at me lmao#I admire you humoring me and my weird brain and indulging in my very strange interests!!!#this lil wrinkly lump of mine which is also my entire being in the realest sense is all over the place all the time#there was literally a time I completely genuinely listened to all the Clowncore albums on repeat for a month or two-!#my gray matter blob is just going wild-!!#I literally have no idea about anything at any point unless I am staring at it or am asked a very specific question#idk what I enjoy man. I’m just a lil dude with autism and ADHD and suddenly I know all the songs by a random fucked up artist-!!!#thank you for the ask#I know I didn’t really answer very elegantly but I never do with things so I guess this was the outcome that was expected maybe-?#i talk so much and never about the topic at hand and suddenly I’ve recommended a whole-ass thing instead of being specific#I can never tell what the rules are for questions like this but technically the Self-Ish album contains songs?? (and only songs ofc)#so I guess I didn’t answer it WRONGLY technically??#idk man idk#I would recommend beetlejuice music in general but my brain is taking that very literally and I’m not about to ask-#-people to go check out Vieze Jack cus that doesn’t feel very responsible even if I do absolutely love that gross babie of a man#it’s all dutch and I understand nothing but there IS a dedicated person out there who uploads his music videos with english subs#and I also have a friend who helps me translate when I need to (everyone say thank you to Kerenitychan!!!)#he started as a beetlejuice street/stage/whatever performer and later used it to make a name for himself#he has very weird toonjuice vibes and I love him so much-!!!#he once did the ice nucket challenge by pissing into a bucket and pouring it over a girl (but not really) and he’s so fucked up#bucket*#I love him so much#but he’s been trying to slowly change his brand. ge’s still got strong juice vibes but he’s gotten a more BJ-adjacent vibe now instead of-#-the full stripes and dark purple around the eyes and whoever does his hair is better now and stuff and I think his budget has just-#-improved over-all and idk he looks nice idk#ANYWAYS I NEED TO STOP RAMBLING ABOUT VJ LMAO#I should try to find my fanart of him and post it on here cus I haven’t yet since it’s not new art OTL
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accidents pt. II | Spencer Reid x fem!reader
Summary: during a long case away, Spencer accidentally sees Reader's nudes on her phone and can't cope because he is a MESS for reader whoops pt.II The Reckoning /j, this is basically just 10k words of porn with feelings yikes
Warnings: SMUT MDNI, 18+ only, fem!reader, fluff, some angst (still Spencer feeling he isn't good enough 😔), EMOTIONSSS, Spencer STILL loves you so much, he gets a hug, and so much more!, talk about sex, detailed asking for CONSENT (be safe people), sex (piv), some frottage, uhhh what else, dirty talk, some dom/sub understones (sub!Spencer ofc), little bit allusion to subspace, Spencer discovers so many kinks in this awww we're so proud of you bby (mentioned kinks: praise kink, squint of liking being embarrassed, tiiny bit of a voyeristic thing), also I made him a virgin whoops so virgin!Spencer, proofread but prolly not perfect lol. Tell me if I'm missing any tags I am so tired
(also, Spencer will be bisexual in all of my Spencer fics because I am not a coward like the writers were and I will honour Spencer the way he was intended to)
HERE you can read pt. I, I do recommend it to have context and all but do whatever you want lmao I'm not your mother anyway have fun being completely wrecked like I was while writing this!! also thanks so so MUCH for 400 followers and almost 2k likes on the first part, you guys are the best and I hope you enjoy this fic as a thanks!!<333
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Spencer’s never sprung from his bed faster in his life before.
His heart is a jackhammer in his chest, chipping away at his ribs one bone splitter at a time because-
It’s you. In front of his door. And Spencer is so hard it hurts but- he can’t just-
“Spencer?”
He sucks in a haggard breath, hands reaching up and messing up his hair even more. His thoughts are everywhere and nowhere at once and he just needs to- needs just a moment to-
“Uh, yeah, just a second!”, he calls back, voice scratchy and used from the- the moaning Jesus Christ because he was about to come with your mental image and he somehow, magically, managed to apparently conjure you up in front of his door with his pathetic pining and oh god-
He has to- ugh- has to wash his hands and make it go away and –
“Okay, I’ll just…chill with that weird plant here.”
An overwhelmed whimper slips past his lips and he just, stands there for at least another five seconds before something in his mind snaps back into place and he rushes to the small, adjacent bathroom of his room.
After he thoroughly washed his hands, his erection has flagged off enough so that it’s not the first thing greeting you when he opens the door and thank god for that.
And oh- seeing you after doing that actually knocks the wind out of his lungs because you are just so goddamn lovely it makes Spencer want to do stupid, stupid things like cry or kiss you or spontaneously combust into a million pieces.
For once, he does something okay-ishly sensible though.
“Hi.”
You look at him, one eyebrow raised in amusement or scepticism, he doesn’t know for sure. Your eyes hold mirthful sparkles in them when he finally manages to meet your gaze, so he settles for the former of the two options.
You’re not wearing your work clothes anymore. Rather, you went for a cozy looking, oversized sweater and funkily patterned leggings. Your fashion sense outside of work always reminded Spencer of Penelope’s.
“Hi to yourself”, you chuckle, “Can I come in or are you too busy reading ten books at once?”
Spencer feels himself flush under your gentle teasing.
“Only seven books. But, yes, of course you can come in.”
He turns out of the way, creating room for you to pass him into his room. As soon as you are inside, you don’t hesitate to jump onto his bed and flop on your back with your arms spread wide.
Spencer’s breath hitches and he has to do some very extensive mental gymnastics to supress all the inappropriate thoughts from escaping the box he banished them into. Controlling his body’s response to seeing you in the same bed he was just jacking off in is… a different story. He pulls down the hem of his shirt as discreetly as possible, as he takes a seat next to you. Making sure that there is not too much distance between you two as to raise any suspicion and make it obvious he’s trying to get some distance between you, but also enough space so that he isn’t enticed to do anything unwise. Like, reach out and feel your warmth underneath his fingers. Or the softness of your skin. Or anything else really.
The more seconds tick by in which neither of you say anything, the more nervous Spencer becomes. He starts fiddling around with his fingers, aborting more than one move to steal a glance at your face to see what you’re thinking.
“Spencer”, you then finally say, voice kind of pout-y and if that didn’t make Spencer whip his head around to face you, the next thing you say for sure does. “Do you hate me?”
“Wha-“, he sputters your name, “No- no! Of course, I don’t- whe- why would you think that?”
You let out an exasperated groan, moving around until you are lying on your side, head propped up on your arm and frowning up at him. “Because you’ve been acting hella weird these last few days and you won’t tell me whyyyy”, you drag out the last syllable, pout on your lips and Spencer has to look up at the ceiling or else he’s just going to confess everything without second thought and that will definitely not happen.
“I haven’t been acting weird, really, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
You remain silent again and Spencer feels the judging glare you send his way without having to look at you. Yes, he has been acting weird, he knows that, but you can never ever know the reason why tha-
“Is it because you saw my nudes?”
Spencer almost breaks his neck with how fast he whips his head down to look at you again. A strangled noise escapes him without permission and what. What.
“Because, that would actually explain so much, especially the way you’ve been acting and really, that’s probably on me because I’ve always been telling myself to put them behind a password block but I somehow always manage to forget that because apparently I have only one braincell left that’s stuck spinning on the deep-fried version of Funky Town and well, I guess I’m glad it was you that found them and not someone else and-“
“What? No, no, I didn’t- What- that’s not- what-“, Spencer cuts off your rambling with a horrified, screeched version of a protest because how- how could you have guessed what’s going on with just one try? Is Spencer so- so absolutely besotted with you that he’s so obvious? Spencer is so very confused and overwhelmed with whatever the hell is going on, he kind of misses the slight twitching of your mouth.
“Come on, Spencer. I said it’s fine and basically my own fault. Uh- well, actually… sorry. Because, well, that’s probably not very work-appropriate… I will pay for your therapy session, just send me the bill.”
Spencer thought he’d reached the limits of confusion seconds ago but apparently, he hadn’t. What. What are you even saying?
“Therapy sessions?”
You just- ignore him.
“Oh, also, please don’t tell Hotch? He’ll be pissed, despite me literally just doing hot-girl shit, y’know-“
Oh, Spencer cannot take it anymore.
He says your name and, “Stop, please, please, just-“
You snap your mouth shut, pulling your lips between your teeth and Spencer definitely doesn’t miss the way you have to force your mouth to stay still this time.
“Are you- is this a joke?”, Spencer asks, frazzled and desperate and so confused he just wants to bury his head under the duvet and never come out again. Because if you don’t actually know but- are just joking around, oh Spencer is overwhelmed, alright.
Your expression changes into something panicked then. “No, no, Spencer, sorry. I’m- sorry. Of course I’m not joking, I’m so sorry. It’s just a little bit too easy to tease you. Sorry.” You actually look apologetic now, lips downturned and frowning slightly.
“Not joking- so… so, you know?”, there’s something big and anxious pressing inside of Spencer’s chest. The urge to hide away and never face daylight again intensifies tenfold. He’s flushing before he realizes, hands trembling and breathing a bit too fast to be considered normal. Oh god, you know, you actually know, you’re going to- you’re never going to speak with him again you are probably here to tell him how weird and- and-
You must’ve noticed the frenzy he is thinking himself into, because you reach out with one hand and gently nudge his thigh with one knuckle. “Spencer”, you say, voice serious and steady and not the slightest bit disgusted or harsh and it snaps him out of his anxiety spiral.
“I knew the second I walked back into that room after you basically fled the precinct. I am, really, genuinely, sorry for making you uncomfortable. Like, it wasn’t actually my intention for you to see them. And then, after I realized what… I just wanted to wait and see what you’d do, if you came to talk to me or, well…”
You sigh, the hand that nudged him ruffling through your hair.
“I didn’t handle this situation very well. I’m really sorry. So… “, you trail off, scrunching your nose in that adorable way of yours that makes Spencer want to kiss it until it scrunches even further because you’d laugh and try to fight him off.
“We can just- forget about this. Forget that it ever happened, or-“, you hesitate again.
Spencer feels suddenly breathless. Like he stands in front of a cliff face, seconds before taking the step to send himself careening towards something immeasurably great or devastatingly fatal.
“Or…?”, he breathes, voice small and unsure.
You meet his eyes again after what feels like hours. There’s something intense in them, burning, and it’s like an electric shock to Spencer’s system. He’d give anything for you to keep looking at him like that forever.
“Or”, your hand returns to his thigh, but this time you let your fingers travel along the shape of it and Spencer whimpers. The burning in your eyes intensifies and Spencer feels hot, suddenly, so hot he’s burning with it. “Or we can do something else.”
“Something else?”, Spencer basically croaks because his throat is so dry and it’s difficult for his body to function properly when you are touching him like that.
You hum in agreement. “Whatever you want. You can tell m-“
“You.”
You look a bit startled when he cuts you off with that one, desperate syllable. Startled but also endlessly amused and Spencer just- his mind is apparently turned off, what the-
You laugh quietly, and your eyes soften, and it does something to Spencer that leaves an ach-y feeling in his chest. Oh, he loves you so much he can’t take it.
“Sure. You can have me”, you say simply, as if it’s the easiest thing in the world for you to admit, “Tell me what exactly you want, because I’d give you the world if you asked.”
And suddenly there’s hot pressure behind Spencer’s eyes, at the back of his throat. You’re just- just- amazing and so lovely and so kind to him, no one has ever said something like that to him, he doesn’t know how to handle it.
Spencer blinks up to the ceiling, desperately willing these stupid unwelcome tears away because crying about you treating him kindly is so on the bottom of the list of acting casual about this, so he rather feels than sees you sitting up next to him. Your hand slips from his legs and he feels the loss of your touch as if someone sucked the marrow from his bones. Before he can say something embarrassing like ‘please touch me again’ he feels your hand covering his. It fills him with a heady kind of courage.
“I want…”, Spencer starts, feeling entirely too uncomfortable with having to state his deepest and darkest desires. There’s the old familiar urge to start picking at his nails nagging at him, but you just interlace your fingers with his and start tracing random patterns into the skin there with your thumb. Spencer melts against you and tenses up at the same time because it’s just so- so nice. It feels so nice and Spencer never thought he’d ever get to have things like that with you but you’re here. You’re here, with him, and basically offering Spencer the entire world on a silver platter but it’s still so so unfathomably difficult just saying what he so badly wants.
“You want…?”, you hum slightly, voice soft and so tender as you continue painting patterns on his skin and Spencer would literally die for you. And that’s the entire problem. Spencer doesn’t know if you’d do the same. Well. Maybe not die die for him but. He can’t just sleep with you, and it not meaning anything to you. It would kill him. It would kill him, if after you give him tenderness and pleasure and acceptance in a way he’s never dreamed of receiving, you would go back to normal. Always politely distanced, close, but never close enough and it already twists his chest just thinking of that possibility.
“I just-“, he tries again, but when the words are stuck in his throat, sticky molten sugar that tastes like bile and fear, he pulls out of your grip and buries his face in his hands. He’s so bad at this. He’s the worst. No wonder he’s never had- had something like Morgan has, one night stand after one night stand (not that he particularly wants that, god no, but just-) because Spencer is just so bad at spilling all of the things that plague his gut and keep his thoughts in overdrive at night. No wonder he’s never even had a girlfriend or boyfriend before.
“Hey, hey, Spencer”, he feels your hands cupping his own, still over his face. Not taking them away, but just – there. “It’s alright, penguin, we can always come back to this another time. I’ll wait.”
Spencer’s face crumples and his breath hitches a little because- penguin. That’s the frankly ridiculous nickname you’ve been using for him ever since he apparently once looked like one, with that white scarf and knee-length black coat he wore during one of your cases where a blizzard surprised not only the team, but also the unsub. Spencer, like most of you, wasn’t prepared and thus, had to make do with what the helpful officers provided them with. And well, Spencer drew the penguin stick it seemed.
It’s ridiculous but sweet and it always makes him feel so loved, loved by you, because it’s adorable and theirs and he just loves it irrationally much, okay? And also, penguins are just really fascinating because-
“Did you know that most penguins live monogamously? The Emperor penguin is actually one of the only ones that mate seasonally, they only have one mate per breeding season. But most others have a mate for life, like, like swans and bald eagles.”
Before Spencer even opened his mouth, he was aware of the fact he was going to ramble on about some unimportant stuff. It’s always like this, it always feels like a breath he’s been holding in for too long, like an itch somewhere in his weird brain that only stops when he opens his mouth and infodumps and he cannot stop it. No matter how consciously he is telling himself to cut it out or screaming at himself to shut the fuck up you weirdo, it’s unavoidable. As soon as his brain latches onto a statistic or a fact it is reminded of, it’s an unstoppable force.
Like now. He is kicking himself. Why, oh why can’t he ever be normal? He feels himself flushing bright red from embarrassment and shame and frustration. He can’t believe he is rambling about birds while- while whatever the hell you two are doing right now. While in the middle of a conversation that started out with you confronting him about him seeing your nudes, jesus christ.
Spencer is about to suffocate himself with a pillow when you let out a graceless snort.
It confuses Spencer so much he lowers his hands to look at you and- oh.
Your eyes are shining with something that looks so close to what he would call affection, and it makes him want to bawl his eyes out and at the same time, smile so hard there’ll be laugh lines on his cheeks for the rest of the week.
“Well, that fits perfectly then”, you say, and Spencer doesn’t understand.
“What do you mean?”
You smile just a little wider, a little more teasingly but in a nice way, in a kind way and it leaves Spencer’s chest blooming with warmth.
“If you’re my penguin, I’ll be your penguin.”
Youryouryouryouryour-
Spencer feels entirely braindead. Only the fact that you called him yours registers. Because yes. Yes. Spencer is so yours he’d gladly let you make every decision for him from now on in his life and yes. That’s not exactly a very normal thing to think. Or to want. Spencer doesn’t care. He’s never felt normal about you for a day in his life and he definitely won’t start now.
“You- you mean- like, as, as mates?”
You scrunch your nose in disgust. “If you want to call us that, I think I’ll take back my offer.”
It punches a giggle out of Spencer, sudden and kind of light-headed. He watches your face break into a wide grin.
“But you- you’d like that?” You’d like me?
You pull a face, sniffing in a nonchalant way, direct your face to your nails in fake disinterest.
“Sure. Whatever.”
And Spencer can’t help himself. He sobs out a laugh- laughs out a sob or, whatever that weird noise he makes is, because you’re so ridiculous and he loves you more than anything in the world.
You roll your eyes, fondly, shake your head slightly.
“Of course, Spencer. I’d like that very much because I like you a very unnormal amount. Literally. On my knees, crying, screaming etcetera”, you say just like that, smiling just like that.
Spencer feels like he’s dreaming. He must be. There’s no other explanation for it. He just can’t wrap his head around the fact that you could like him. You. You’re so, so lovely and amazing and you deserve everything good in this world and Spencer is just. Spencer.
“You- you like me? Me?”, Spencer can’t hide the incredulous tone that seeps into his questions because you like him?
There’s no traces of humour in your eyes anymore. Your eyes look painfully honest, face suddenly serious, and it steals Spencer’s breath away.
You lean closer to him again, grabbing his hands with yours. Your gaze bores itself into his, intense and steady and he can’t look away. “Spencer. I know it’s- I know life has been hard on you for way too long. And that leaves its marks on you. That’s fine. It’s human. But. You do not deserve any less love because of that, do you understand me? Of course I like you, what isn’t there to like? You’re kind and funny and sweet and just so- Spencer. You’re so lovable and it kills me to know that you don’t see how you are so worthy of being loved.”
Oh.
Oh.
You can’t just- can’t just say things like that and expect him to not cry a little. Can’t expect him to act completely nonchalant and cool about all of this when you say things like that to him. Are you trying to kill him? Because it sure does feel like that.
Spencer is so completely at a loss. He doesn’t know what to say to that- not to mention what to do. How do you always do this? How can you see straight to the hidden, bruised core of him, littered with all these ugly and bad things and. Just. Figure out what to say to strike him exactly there.
It should scare him, being known so deeply. It should, but it doesn’t because it’s you. You are warmth and acceptance like his favourite place in front of a fireplace, book in hand and rain gently knocking against windows. You are quiet mornings at work, you are soft rays of sunlight in his hair, you are gentle hands helping you up when you fall and bruise your knees. You are –
A touch to his cheek startles him. He opens his eyes – when did he close them? – to your fingers brushing some stray tears away, so softly as if he’s something precious, something to be held delicately. That thought sends new tears spilling down his cheek. He can’t believe this is affecting him so much, so completely he simultaneously feels like he is going to shatter and be stitched back together again.
He never knew he needed this so much.
“Sorry for making you cry, penguin. I didn’t think this discussion about my lack of nude etiquette would get this emotionally damaging”, you say, voice hushed in the big silence of the room, a small smile on your lips and eyes so kind.
Spencer snorts, despite himself. This has really been a very bizarre evening. He feels almost drunk on the weirdness of it all, on the rollercoaster that his emotions have ridden all evening. That’s probably why he does what he does next.
“Neither did I, especially after you interrupted me while I wa-“
Spencer shuts his mouth so fast he clicks his teeth together, eyes wide and suddenly horrified. He- what-
Why?
Why can’t Spencer ever keep his big mouth shut? Is he completely and utterly insane?
There’re alarm bells going off somewhere in Spencer’s head and a concerning warmth settling deep in his stomach when your grin takes on a slightly devilish edge, one he knows all too well and. And. Oh. He’s in trouble. So much trouble. Why did he have to say that?
“After I interrupted you while?”, you prompt him, eyes electric and hot and oh god-
Spencer is so dumb. An idiot. Of the highest order. High IQ, where?
“Nothing”, he says, voice high-pitched and rushed and he curses himself and his ability to act everything else but nonchalant. He’d be the worst actor of all time.
“Spencer.”
The tone of your voice rearranges something in his neurons. He can feel himself sit up just that little bit straighter, can feel his mind buzz at the edges. He’s never felt like this before.
He loves it.
“Hmm?”, is all he gets out. Trouble, so much trouble.
Suddenly you’re standing up, away from him and Spencer wants to whine because you should stay there next to him, forever fixed to his side. He doesn’t have to despair long, because you take one of your knees and gently nudge his legs apart with it and okay. Okay. That definitely didn’t just send Spencer’s mind reeling. That wasn’t just totally the hottest thing that ever happened to him.
You slot yourself between his legs as if you own that space and. In his humble opinion, you do. You so do. Spencer is willing to give you a map of his entire body and a marker and tell you to please demarcate every part of him you want. He’d give it to you, no questions asked.
He is looking up at you, at your burning eyes that still hold something so soft in them that makes the lump in his throat bigger again. And by god, Spencer just needs to hear you say it again-
“You like me?”
You move closer to him, lifting one hand and placing it underneath his chin. Your thumb traces along his jaw and Spencer feels like he is going to burst into a million embarrassed pieces.
“Yes”, you say simply, but the way you say it. Spencer can’t help but shiver and exhale shakily. He feels so warm, everywhere. His skin burns where your fingers are touching him. He never wants this to stop.
“You- You want me?”
Your hand grips his face a little stronger, your other fingers splaying over and down his throat and there’s a high noise coming from somewhere and there’s goosebumps on his body everywhere and oh, wait- it’s him. The noise. Well, how embarrassing but. He doesn’t care. Nope. Not at all.
…Okay maybe a little. His face feels warm, suddenly, warmer than the rest of him and yes. He’s blushing, okay?
“Spencer”, the way you say his name it- god, “I want you. I said it before, but. I will give you anything. Tell me what you want, Spencer, and you will get it from me.”
Your eyes are so dark and your voice so low and Spencer actually whines and. He’s hard again, so hard, because he didn’t come before and now, he’s even more pent-up and his thoughts are a mess, but you haven’t even touched him more than this and he’s already so worked up from you just saying these things to him-
“I want you”, Spencer pants, currently finding no other English words in the dictionary of his mind. And well. Emily was right about him. IQ slashed to zero when pretty person do thing.
He watches you take a deep breath, as if to steady yourself, as if this whole thing is affecting you as much as it affects him but that’s- ridiculous. Impossible. Because. Have you seen yourself?
“I know that, Spencer. But what do you want from me? Do you want me to kiss you?”, you ask, face suddenly so close to his Spencer feels your breath fan over his skin, and he whimpers because yes he wants that wants that- “Do you want me to touch you more?”, your other hand grabs his side, gentle but just a little bit roughly and Spencer is suddenly vividly reminded of the fact how strong you are and he feels kind of lightheaded-
“Do you want me to fuck you, Spencer?”
Spencer is going to pass out. And die. And moan and say, “Please yes yes yes”. Maybe not in that particular order.
“Okay, angel, anything you want”, you say, smiling softly at him as if he’s the best thing in the world and angel. Angel. Angel.
Before he’s even started to process you calling him angel, he sees a glint in your eyes, that edge in your smile again and before he knows what’s happening, you’re kissing him.
You’re kissing him and it’s- everything.
Your mouth is soft against his, and Spencer’s insides twist and flutter and his brain is kind of lagging behind, but he wants to be closerclosercloser-
It’s so good Spencer completely blanks on everything. There’s nothing in his mind except the feel of your lips moving against his. There’s no insecurity, no embarrassment tainting this moment even though this is literally like, only the sixth kiss or so of Spencer’s life and he has no idea what he is doing. But it’s so good.
A noise somewhere between a moan and a whimper escapes him when you lick into his mouth and Spencer’s soul almost leaves his body. He feels you shudder where you are pressed together, chest to chest.
“Spencer, Spencer”, you breathe against his lips, in between wet, hot, kisses. You rub your nose against his, eyes closed.
“Hmm?”, he hums, his voice somewhere in Canada or wherever. His mouth is too busy smiling so wide it hurts, anyways. No time for articulating anything.
“You’re amazing, Spencer, amazing.”
And he wants to shake his head, no, because the only one amazing here is you. But it’s impossible to disagree with you when your mouth has returned to his in a way that is probably ruining him for anyone else. (He’s okay with that.)
You peck him on the lips once, twice more, before you press your lips against his jaw, exactly where you had your fingers before. Your hands are basically the only thing holding Spencer up in a sitting position, because he feels like molten chocolate in your hands. Muscles apparently forgetting to do their job and well. Who can blame them? Spencer has stopped thinking in proper sentences the moment you had walked into his life, so. Only a matter of time until you broke the rest of him as well.
You kiss his neck and Spencer gasps. It’s really been a hot minute - three years, one hundred, twenty-one days and twenty hours to be exact – the last time he made out with someone. Everything feels heightened on his heated skin, especially you opening your mouth against him and licking him oh god-
It almost feels like a reward when you gently bite at his skin next. Spencer almost screams.
“So good, so so good for me”, he hears you whisper into the skin of his neck and this time, Spencer does make a noise. Because yes. He wants that. Be good for you. That’s the only thing in his fuzzy mind that feels clear, that feels graspable.
He can see your pupils dilate. Can see the wicked lilt to your lips. “You like being good for me, don’t you, angel?”
ANGEL. Spencer is nodding his head before he knows he does so. “Yes, yes.”
“Fuck”, he hears you breathe against him and it’s strange, seeing the effect he has on you. Did really he do that? “I can’t believe how incredible you are, sweetheart.”
And you need to stop. If you keep calling Spencer these things- he’s pretty sure he won’t survive this. The team would need to find another genius to solve cases with. His cactus Greg would dry out and wilt and die. You and Penelope would need to find another victim to send confusing memes to.
“Did you like my pictures, Spencer?”, you then ask and that’s so not fair. You can’t just ask him that while he’s so utterly in your hands that he’s sure he’d tell you about every little fantasy he’s had about you ever if you asked.
Because Spencer wants to be good, feels that need so deeply in his bones, he nods frantically. “Yes, I- I liked them.”
At the same time the words leave his mouth, something feels wrong. There’s an ugly thing twisting in his stomach, so unpleasant it momentarily occludes the high-octane bliss-fuzz fogging up his mind.
You notice the shift in mood almost immediately. “What’s wrong, angel?”
And well. It’s just- that guilt. Of not saying anything to you about Spencer seeing your nudes, of just ogling you like that without your permission. That wasn’t very good of him. Actually, the opposite. He’s been bad and he hates that. Hates that so severely that there’s suddenly tears on his cheeks and oh no. That’s mortifying. Who cries before sex? Jesus Christ he’s such a virgin it is genuinely embarrassing.
“I’m- I’m sorry”, he stutters, a little bit hysterical, creating distance between you, arms slung around himself, “I should’ve, should’ve said something, I’m so so sorry, I’m the worst friend and now I’m- I’m crying, oh god, I’m so sorry-“
“Hey, hey hey whoa. Spencer, darling. Penguin. Look at me, please?”
But he shakes his head. He doesn’t deserve to look at you again. What was he even thinking? He was- so creepy and now- now-
Two warm hands grab his face and then Spencer is looking into your eyes again. He squeezes his own shut, but all that it does is send more tears spilling over his cheeks and he’s so fucking stupid-
“Baby, please.”
Spencer sobs.
Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. That’s the best thing he has ever heard but he doesn’t deserve these things.
“Of course you deserve it, silly goose”, you say and oh. He’s said that out loud.
Your thumbs brush over his cheeks and Spencer can’t not lean into your touch, despite everything. Because that’s just the way it always is. He’s drawn to your warmth and tenderness like a moon revolves around its planet.
“I thought we’d established that it was an accident? And if it was someone’s fault, then mine, because no password, remember?”
Spencer opens his eyes. The deep affection swimming in yours makes him sob again. He’s a mess. A crying, horny mess and Spencer definitely fucked this up. Why does Spencer always ruin the few good things in his life?
“Spencer, Spencer. Hey. It’s okay, I promise you. We wouldn’t be doing this, if it wasn’t, okay?”, you kiss his nose. “Do you want to lay down, maybe?”
He nods, not really thinking clearly. He moves up the bed, under the covers and curls up on his side. He waits for you to get up from the bed, for you to walk over to the door and leave. To say that this was a mistake, he was a mistake. To say that you take back everything you said to him in the last half hour.
He’s not just a little surprised to feel your weight dip the mattress, to feel even more sudden warmth engulf him when you spoon him from behind. You start tracing swirly patterns over the skin of his arm and he feels goosebumps spread all over his body.
Some minutes tick by, you still holding him, when his tears have finally dried up. He doesn’t remember crying so much in one day. Spencer feels miserable.
“Do you still like me?”, he asks, and yes, it’s pathetic and stupid but. He doesn’t care if you never have sex or if you’re not going to be more than his friend now. Because the thought of you not being in his life in any capacity anymore- just no.
He can feel you freeze and take in a sharp breath. “Wha- Spencer. Of course, I still like you. I don’t care what we do, I just want to be with you. In any way you’ll have me.”
You sound so understanding and sincere and actually confused about his fear as if you’d never even think of not liking him anymore and and and-
And something in him just- snaps. He wants you, needs you so much he’s going to die if he doesn’t-
He shuffles and turns in your arms until he’s face to face with you. You look at him, eyebrow raised in question but so beautiful and lovely and you still like him-
“I want you so bad”, he says and then he presses his lips against yours again.
You respond immediately, low moan escaping you and Spencer is greedy, he wants to hear more, feel more, feel everything with you.
He’s kissing you as if he’s going to die if he ever stopped, which, yes, he absolutely would, and you kiss him back as if you can’t live without him. It makes everything become hazy again, like before, and every bad feeling suddenly feels eons away. Like he’s underwater, floaty and relaxed. Safe, he feels safe in the way you kiss him and hold him. Like you always do.
You move your kisses to his neck, sucking and biting and Spencer is moaning and moaning and can’t stop and then suddenly, you’re gone, what –
“Spencer, Spencer, wait”, you pant, out of breath and flushed and he wants to cry again, “Sorry, sorry I just-“
You frame his face in your hands, a little bit roughly. “I’m so sorry for making this so hard, you’re being so good for me, but Spencer. Have you done this before?”
Somewhere in the fog that is his minds, Spencer finds his voice. It’s high and airy but he doesn’t care. “No, no, I haven’t.”
He watches you take a deep breath, feels your fingers digging into his skin a little bit more.
“Tell me. Do you want this, Spencer?”, your voice is shaking as if you need to keep yourself in check and Spencer can’t believe he’s getting to see you like this.
“Yes”, he says because he can’t ever want anything else, and, “Please make me feel good.”
You inhale sharply, your grip on his face bordering on painful. “Spencer, you’re incredible, amazing, the best- I’ll make you feel good, okay? I’ll make you feel so good because you deserve it.”
“Yes”, Spencer is not ashamed of how whiny he sounds. No. He’s owning it now. This is his thing now, okay? He’ll gladly be your pathetic wet cat, or whatever the term was that you sometimes use to describe him with. Whatever it even means.
“Good”, you grin, and then you push on his shoulder hard and he’s on his back. And you. Sitting on top of him, thighs on either side of him. Straddling him exactly where he wants you most and he exhales a needy ‘ah’. His hypothesis of liking being manhandled is… yet to be disproven. He’s discovering so many things about himself today.
Pleasure radiates in waves from where you’re passively giving pressure to his hard cock and yeah okay. This is good. Amazing. He’s never felt better. But-
“Please.”
“Please what, angel?”
“More?”
“More what?”
Your fingers trailing along his throat and jaw, down his chest and teasing ghost-like over his nipples are not really helpful in finding the right words to what he wants. You take pity on him.
“More touch?”
Spencer nods his head, so fast he almost gets dizzy because he’s at that point again where everything feels liquid, hazy, a little bit unreal. So, speaking is already quite the task.
You smile at him as if he just solved the most difficult equation. “Doing so good, Spencer. Incredible.”
He moans. Okay. Another hypothesis to add to his ever-growing list of scientific discoveries today.
“Where do you want touch, Spencer? Here?”, there’s hands in his hair. He shakes his head.
“Hmm… Here?”, fingers drawing circles on his chest and yes, that feels nice, so nice but he wants-
“Here?”, you ground your hips down and jesus-
“Yes!”, Spencer almost chokes on the sound. Pleasure shoots up his spine and he whimpers. “Please.”
You exhale shakily, looking flush. “Okay. Because you ask so nicely.” There’re two little taps on his lower stomach through his shirt. “Do you want to take this off first? Or no?”
The way you give him the chance to say no- the way you respect his autonomy so deeply-
It’s basic human decency, yes, but it’s also the hottest thing and Spencer feels so valued and understood and safe that he’s not even hesitating when he mutters a quiet yes.
You help him sit up because he’s currently not really heir over his body like he usually is. Help his head out of the shirt and thread his arms out. And then, he’s half naked in front of you and suddenly, the doubt and insecurity that’ve been so quiet so far are back with a vengeance.
The urge to cover himself is so big it’s impossible to stop his arms from wrapping around himself.
Spencer knows he’s not ugly. He’s not that bad looking actually. Can’t be too bad if Morgan keeps insisting on calling him pretty boy, even though Spencer sometimes still has the sneaking suspicion that he’s teasing him. But his friend wouldn’t be so cruel.
But other people like to be. Pipe-cleaner, leek, straw, big-eyes. He’s heard it all before. He has matured enough and grown into himself so that these things don’t bother him like they used to. But still. Still. These things are arduous to scrub from under his skin.
Your gaze on him though- he’s never felt so, cleaned from all of these mean words before. You look- you look reverent while mapping his skin and maybe that’s the reason why he lowers his arms again.
“Spencer. You’re a dream”, you say, almost in trance. Almost as if you’re hypnotized by him, and he’s flushing. But. Being watched so intently, being admired like that. He feels his dick give an indigent twitch against your clothed core. Another thing for the list.
“So impatient”, you tut and Spencer flushes more. He thinks he’s waited long enough for this. But he doesn’t say that. If you stopped now- he would definitely combust spontaneously.
You lean down, over him. Hands trailing along his sides like you did earlier, but without any clothes between your skin and his. It’s almost too much. And not enough. He feels electrified, where you touch him. His heart is hammering against his ribs so hard you must be able to feel it. His stomach is in knots, fluttery. He’s never felt more alive.
You connect your lips to his throat, placing kiss after kiss along the arched length of it. Follow the same path with your tongue and Spencer whines, curves up against you a little. Everything feels so good Spencer is floating in it.
You shift your attention to his collarbones next, kissing but then gently biting and Spencer feels the indents of your teeth all the way through to his back and he hopes, wants, you to sink them into him so deep they’ll leave marks. So that he carries the evidence of this with him for the rest of this case, so that there’s absolutely no more doubt to who he belongs to. That thought alone makes him whimper, makes him feel that tiny little bit more lost in you.
You start kissing along his chest, down his stomach. Open mouthed, wet kisses and Spencer shivers when the places you put them feel cold after because of your spit. The lower you get, the noisier he becomes and at one point, Spencer would’ve been embarrassed. Well, he kind of is, but he’s also so turned on that the embarrassment doesn’t feel as stifling like usual. Rather, in a weird way, it makes everything hotter, and he does not own enough brain capacity right now to decipher that. But he does add it to the list.
When your face is dangerously close to the waistband of his pyjama, Spencer tenses, holds his breath. Being shirtless is one thing, but… well.
“It’s okay, Spencer. We only do as much as you feel comfortable with”, you murmur, giving a small peck to the left of his belly button. You calmingly follow his sides with your hands, smiling at him with so much affection in your eyes that Spencer feels speechless, breathless, until the tension releases his muscles again and he melts into the sheets.
“’m just…”, he tries, he really tries so hard to tell you that he wants this more than anything he’s ever wanted but that he just feels… insecure.
You kiss his stomach again. “How about we only take off the pyjama? For now? If you want to take off your underwear too later, we can still do that.”
That… that’s actually a good idea. So, he nods.
“Words, angel.”
“Yes, yes. That’s- good.”
You look so proud of him. “You’re so good, Spencer. Perfect.”
He moans embarrassingly loud. He really should be more concerned about this. About how you are basically pulling him apart, thread by thread and he just lets you, willingly. How you know which threads to pull to reduce him to a sweaty mess in what felt like 0.2 seconds.
There’s a finger dipping beneath the waistband, moving back and forth along the newly exposed skin. Your eyes watch him intently, almost predator-like. A question is in there somewhere as well and Spencer nods again.
You help him lift his hips, help him pull down the pants. Spencer is kind of busy kicking his legs a little to shake them off completely but when he looks back and down himself to where you are hyper-focused on the outline of his cock through the thin fabric he blushes.
Even more when he notices the big, dark blue splotch in front of his underwear. That’s definitely never happened before. How embarrassing.
When you look up at him again, you’re also flushed. Eyes dark, wide, voice kind of unsteady. “Spencer, Spencer, can I?”
“Please”, and then you palm him with your hand, and it feels so good it takes all of his concentration to not come on the spot. He doesn’t know if he’ll survive this until you arrive to the main thing.
It’s not the first time someone has touched him like that, but it is the first time you are doing it, and it already feels better than anything he’s ever felt before. You’re either a wizard or Spencer is just biased because he thinks everything you do is ten times better than the same thing done by someone else.
Probably the first reason.
He has his head angled back, one of his arms thrown over his eyes. If he looked at you now, he’s pretty sure, he’d come. Visual stimulation on top of physical would probably be the end of him. It’s already too much, just feeling your hand move up and down his dick in various pressures. Almost as if you are testing what he likes best, and Spencer is definitely here for it. Definitely. He’s happy to just let you experiment with him until you know all the different ways to drive him mad with pleasure with just a few moves.
Which, you apparently already figured out, judging by the way Spencer can’t form a single coherent thought anymore. It’s already, so good, so freaking good holy shit, and you’re still not touching him. Still a layer of fabric between your hand and him and he kind of- just-
“Take it off?”
You still your hand, looking up at him. You look kind of crazed, almost a little pained. It takes two deep breaths for you to process what he just asked, eyes a little unfocused before they fix Spencer to the bed with an intensity that makes him feel unfocused. “You sure, angel?”
Spencer literally can’t do anything but nod. You stay in your position for some moments longer, before you sigh out a long breath, mumbling something that suspiciously resembles you’re gonna be the death of me. Spencer misses your warmth on top of him the second you hoist yourself up. It’s kind of crazy and destitute of him. You are literally right there but he’s waited for this for so long it feels like he’s suffocating without your weight pressing him down. Which is ironic and also, insane.
Your fingers are gentle, when they move under the stretchy fabric of his underwear. Even gentler when they pull down and down and down until Spencer is entirely naked in front of you.
Oh, he feels so exposed. While he has been the recipient of a mediocre hand job before, it’s been in his trousers. This is kind of the first time someone sees him naked like that, because school locker rooms and his mother don’t count.
He doesn’t dare look at you. If there’s anything akin to disappointment, not to mention disgust on your face- Spencer probably would have to jump out the window, stat. His gaze is frozen on his cock, steadily leaking precum on his stomach (which, embarrassing). He’s abashedly trying to insert himself into your point of view, tries to imagine what you think about seeing him like this. What you might think about his dick, if it’s too short or too thin or if it looks weird, if he should’ve shaved. If his legs look strange and too gangly now, or if his stomach connects to his pubic area wrong or-
“Holy shit”, you say, and Spencer is too curious for his own damn good sometimes, because he can’t force his gaze to stay away from you.
You look at him- like before. Reverent but more, so much more. He almost feels like a deity, the way you look at him. Someone to be awed by, someone that should be worshipped. Spencer feels his already in overdrive heartbeat quicken even more, blood flushing his cheeks so much it leaks down his throat, to his chest.
Spencer would literally kill to have you look at him like this for the rest of his life.
“Holy shit, Spencer”, you repeat, eyes now meeting his, “You’re like- a literal fucking dream. I cannot believe- you’re so beautiful, how are you so beautiful everywhere?”
Spencer whimpers and he needs you to touch him kiss him fuck him anything please now or he will absolutely die from heart palpitations.
Some of his despairing thoughts must’ve come through to you, because the next thing you do is moan, which is the best thing he’s ever heard. Then, you take off your sweater. Second to go is your cropped tank top and you aren’t wearing a bra and good heavens.
Pictures could never compare. Not even Botticelli could’ve adequately committed you to canvas.
Spencer must’ve taken some brain damage from seeing you half naked. He doesn’t remember you taking off the remainder of your clothes, nor does he remember you straddling him again. But, fuck.
Spencer kind of doesn’t use the f-word that often but-
fuckfuckfuckufuckfkcufuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckcufkc-
You’re warm against him, and wet, so freaking wet, and it feels so mind-blowingly good- it’s a miracle he’s still holding on. But-
“Won’t last long”, he gets out, breathy and whiny and just so goddamn fuzzy from pleasure. The world could literally perish right now, and he wouldn’t care. He can’t care, because this is the best thing that ever happened to him and he won’t ever care about anything else ever again other than feeling you, you you you you, against him.
“Spencer, Spencer”, you breathe, gasp, and fuck, the way you keep using his name. “Are you okay? Do you still want this?”
It’s ridiculous you even ask. But the warmth in his chest, the feeling of comfort and safety and ease – because everything with you is so easy, so natural - he feels with the way you look after him-
He feels your thumbs caressing his wet cheeks. You put small, sweet kisses all over his face. Take the time to brush away some of his sweat-sticky hair from his forehead. Place kisses there too. You end with a drawn out, gentle kiss to his lips.
“What do you say, sweetheart?”
There’s really only one way for him to answer that. He trusts you. Plain and simple. There’s no one else he could ever do this with.
“Yes, I want. Please.”
You kiss him again. “So good Spencer, you’re so fucking good to me. I can’t believe you are trusting me with this. You are incredible, angel.”
Spencer doesn’t know how it’s anatomically possible, but he blushes even harder. Also, feels his cock twitch against you because he apparently likes to be called good almost as much as he likes being good. For you. Only you. Jesus Christ.
“Do you have a condom?”, you ask and ah. Well.
“Suitcase”, and wow. First word with more than one syllable since you straddled him the first time. He’s being so brave right now. He deserves a medal. Proof of Being Able to Speak Polysyllabic Words While Getting Fucked (Almost).
There’s humour glistening in your eyes, when you hide a fake gasp behind your hand and say, “Oh my god, Spencer you dog. Can’t believe you planned this entire thing.”
Spencer almost chokes on his own spit. “N-no! I just- uh, like being prepared.”
You grind down a snort, drive your teeth into your lower lip. “In case you accidentally saw your coworker’s nudes and them being down to fuck you about it?"
Oh my god, you’re the most ridiculous person he’s ever met. He can’t stop himself from grinning because seeing you trying to keep your laughter at bay-
“Yes. That.”
“But what if- what if it was Rossi instead of you seeing them? How would’ve your plan worked out then, huh?”, you wheeze, shaking from literal suppressed laughter and Spencer makes a sound like a dying horse.
“Rossi? Rossi?”
“Oh my god, imagine it would’ve been Hotch. He would’ve probably fired me so hard and then called me a week later to disappointed-dad-talk me to come back but to please, refrain from bringing personal files to work in the future.”
Spencer laughs. He’s still rock-hard underneath you, but he’s laughing because that’s what you always do. Being so absurd and silly that he’s shocked to laughter.
He adores you with every fibre of his being.
“What the fuck?”, you ask, incredulous but laughing yourself, “Is my misery amusing to you?”
And Spencer feels like being a little bit of a brat. “Very.”
You flick his nose. Grumble something like I’ll show you misery and then you move your hips against his and Spencer sees stars. Let’s out an embarrassingly high whine.
Ah well. It was still worth it.
“Don’t move”, you order, when you climb down from him to retrieve a condom. Spencer watches you, lets himself look at you. All the times he’s wondered how it would be, how it would feel like, being in this kind of situation with you. He’s never in a million years thought it would feel so familiar. Like you’ve done this before, so many times that it’s just become something normal between you two. He’s actually relaxed. So turned on it feels like he’s going to burst any second, but he’s calm. He feels comfortable, so much so that it doesn’t even matter that it’s the first time he’s doing this and he’s so clueless about all of this.
But he knows, if it’s with you, he never ever has to worry about anything.
“Do you have lube as well?”, you ask, rifling through his suitcase and distracting him from his sappy thoughts.
“Hmm. No, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be, angel”, you say while returning to Spencer, and the nickname kind of switches something off again in his brain. Perfect. He’s never going to be able to be normal again about that word.
“We’ll have to get some, for next time. Always feels better with it.”
Spencer hasn’t really registered more than next time next time next time-
He’s pulled out of his daze of knowing your intentions of this not only being a one-off thing, when you straddle him again, a bit lower on his legs. Spencer moans, loud and high, when you grab him by the base and god, fuck, his skin is tingling with anticipation.
With your other hand, you grab the condom and then use your teeth to open the packet, and his cock jumps in your hand. How are you so hot. How does everything you do turn him on so much, what.
He watches you take out the plastic ring as if he’s watching from above, out of his body. He watches as you position the condom over his tip and then pull it down, down and Spencer’s brain must be lagging because he feels everything with at least a two second delay and shit, god, son of a-
“You ready, baby?”
He makes a noise between a sob and a whine. He’s losing his mind. “Please please please-“
“Fuck, Spencer”, you whine, lift yourself up a bit with your legs and then you are sinking down on him, inch by agonizing inch.
It’s so good, it’s so good, you are so warm, so hot, and Spencer can’t stop making noises until your hips are flush to his and he’s inside you.
You let out a loud, drawn-out moan above him. “Fuck, fuck, Spencer. You feel so fucking good, holy shit.”
He feels like he’s one move away from coming. God, oh god, it feels so incredible.
“Can I move? Spencer, please?”, your voice is wrecked, you’re flushed down to your navel, and you’re the best thing he’s ever seen.
“Please please please please”, it’s the only word he remembers how to pronounce.
“Fuck”, you almost sob, lifting yourself almost completely off him. You lower yourself back down again, one swift move, and you both moan.
You pick up the pace a little, fucking him with still languid but purposeful thrusts. Every time his cock sinks back into you, Spencer feels bits and pieces of his sanity crumbling away. He can’t think, can’t speak, his mind so fogged up and fuzzy he’s having troubles remembering who he is. He’s so completely at your mercy he’d let you do anything to him.
That turns him on a worryingly huge amount. List, something about a list somewhere.
“Oh, god, look at you. Spencer, baby, angel. You feel so good inside of me, so good.”
He keens, grabs at your strong thighs bracketing his slim hips. Arches up into you, closerclosercloser-
“You like being good for me, right angel?”, you ask, hips slowing down to a gentle grinding that absolutely drives Spencer insane and he’s too far gone to even nod, “It suits you. Being so wrecked for me, moaning and shaking. God, fuck, you’re divine, Spencer, fuck.”
The pressure behind his cock, low in his stomach, that’s been building all evening, all week, holy shit, it’s too much. Spencer feels delirious, feels your hotness around him, feels your hands pressing his chest down into the bed. He’s going to die it feels so good.
“You going to come for me, Spencer? You gonna be good for me and come inside of me?”
Please please please please- it’s all he can think, all he can feel, because because-
You give a particularly hard thrust and-
Spencer’s coming, moaning and moaning, shaking everywhere. He’s coming and it feels so good, so fucking good. He’s never come so hard in his life before.
He might have blacked out a little. The next time he’s aware of something, it’s you cleaning him with a wet washcloth. Slow, and gentle and Jesus.
“What?”, is the first thing he manages to say, and you snicker beside him. You caress his face, hand running through his hair, down his chest. Peck his lips. You’re both still naked.
“Feeling good?”, you ask and what kind of question even is that. You just fucked the soul from his body, and you ask him-
“I almost died”, he says, tagging your name at the end with an incredulous tint to it.
You snort, setting the washcloth on the nightstand behind you. You lie down close to him, cuddling into his side. “That was the plan.”
“Killing me with sex?”
“Yep. That’s for ogling my nudes without my permission, you creep.”
He says your name again, exasperated but so fucking fond it’s a miracle you’ve never noticed his pining before. You shrug, pull a ‘what can you do face’. Spencer rolls his eyes and then, unceremoniously, flops on top of you.
“Uffff”, you press out. “You’re smothering me, penguin.”
Spencer shrugs and copies the expression you just did. You bark out a laugh.
“Ha! Didn’t know post-sex Spencer is such a cheeky little shit. I’ve created a monster.”
He can’t entirely control his face, some parts of a smile slipping into his features. He does manage to poke out his tongue at you though, before he buries his face in your neck.
Some minutes tick by, you both enjoying the other’s presence and warmth and idleness, before something in his brain-
“Wait-“, Spencer splutters, pushing himself away from you so that he can look at you. “Did you- did you even finish?”
He’s kind of horrified. He was so focused on his pleasure- he- how did he forget? He doesn’t remember you coming and oh no, he’s such an asshole, who doesn’t make sure the other person has come as well and-
“Spencer, Spencer”, you shush him, fingers trailing along his back, and he shivers, eyes rolling back.
“I made myself come right after, don’t worry. You were kind of busy in your post-orgasm, pussy-drunk coma.”
Spencer flushes. “But I wanted to…”
You laugh softly. “You can do whatever to me, next time, sweets. This was about you. We’ll go on a date as soon as we’re back home. Fucking Florida is driving me nuts.”
Oh, he suddenly feels shy. A date? You want to go on a date with him?
“Really?”, he asks, and he hates how insecure he sounds.
You send him an unbelieving look. “Uh, what about the last hour makes you think otherwise? Seriously, Spencer, we need to work on your confidence.”
“Okay”, he mutters, a little bit pout-y and you scoff, pulling him down on top of your chest again.
There, with your hands painting patterns on his back and him completely lost in your warmth and familiarity, Spencer thinks that maybe, Florida isn’t that bad.
--
Bonus
“So, then. Made any scientific discoveries last night, pretty boy?”
Spencer chokes on his coffee.
“What?”
“Nothing”, his ‘friend’ says, smirking and leaning against his table, “You just seem to have figured out that little problem that’s been keeping that pretty head of yours all messed up.”
Spencer feels himself flush. Stupid body and stupid involuntary, physiological reactions. Morgan picks up on it, of course.
“Ohhhhh, want to share with the class what those discoveries were?”
Briefly, so very briefly, Spencer thinks of his self-compiled list but- no no no no.
“Shut up, Morgan.”
⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆
tags: @sebastiansstanswhore @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @wasitforrevenge @wannabewolf @tommorecommendedfics @winterhi09 @theoraekenslover @chaewondrful @okeyhoezayy @busy-buzzing @laurakirsten0502 @redros3y @trashxqueen @kitty-kei @so-long-daisymay @hayleythecannibal @jsnsnsnszjzj @reeidsluv @kayane28 @moonysreid @desperately-seeking-serotonin @munsonslunchbox @tul1p-mimi @anuttellaa @pinkgomie @elizabethmidnight2017 @evrmorets @cyanidebitsg @bangchansdog @pinterestwhore145 @some-one-yiu-dont-kno @emma-e-a
i hope these work lmao, also let me know if you wanna be on my eternal tag list for any future Spencer fic ;)
#tinywrites#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid smut#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x reader fanfic#criminal minds smut#spencer reid x reader smut#spencer reid x y/n#tinywrites:accidents#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fic#criminal minds x reader
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AHHHH HIIII i have a req >< its an akito shinonome xFem!reader so the're both at weekend garage yknow doing their own thing and akito is talking to some npc guy an then the guy asks if the reader is his gf and akito being the lovesick loser he is/j says yeah then he says "yeah ik what you see in her shes fine" then akito is like like that one shocked face emoji (i cant find it lmao) have a nice dayyy !!
𖦹 hii! it’s been so long since i’ve uploaded, happy new year! i could sit here and tell a whole sob story about why i didn’t upload, but i’ll save it! thank you all for the support!it really means a lot, and makes me feel appreciated!^_^
♪ kind of ooc, VERY poorly written this is a draft all the way from summer, i just wanted you guys to have something. they hate each other for some reason idk why but it felt fitting… i make akito have a sweet insert a lot so i guess thought i’d make her feisty
“They’re mine, yeah?”
Akito Shinonome is a total jerk! He’s sending you mixed signals, and it’s driving you nuts!
You can only stand so many chirped out “Don’t worry ‘bout it, babe!”s before you start to get the wrong idea. I mean, who does this guy think he is, talking to you like that? He’s your friend - at least you think he is - so the fact he’s treating you like some pretty thing is getting on your nerves.
Little did you know, HE’S feeling the same way.
I mean seriously, are you blind? He’s genuinely curious. He wants to strangle you every time you tilt your head like a stupid dog, and go ‘huh?’! You have to be dumb, right? That, or you’re not interested in him. But, if the latter is the case, you need to grow a pair and tell him, so he can throw himself into practice for a couple of days and probably also get into a fight with Toya over something that wasn’t even that important- God, he’s rambling. He never rambles. You make him act all weird, he hates it. You suck.
You two have been keeping up the whole ‘I wanna kick your teeth in, and then make out’ thing for a while, without either of you knowing. It would be funny if it wasn’t so Goddamn infuriating. Endless rehearsals of Akito having his ‘man-period’ (as An has so affectionately dubbed it) have gotten old for everyone. How many times can he make everyone run through “Echo” before the novelty is taken out of the song?
At any rate, this can’t last forever. Something’s gotta give eventually.
And it did.
It did when Akito was (basically) tied down and (basically) forced to stare at you while you (..actually) talked to Kohane. It wasn’t his fault, okay? The sun was hitting your face just right, and you kept doing this endearing thing with your hair when it got in your face- it was like you taped his eyes open! Maybe if you’d stop being so charming while doing absolutely nothing, he wouldn’t have to look like a creep! It didn’t go unnoticed by you either.
Akito kept staring at you, and it kept throwing you off balance. You didn’t know why, only having asked Kohane a small number of a billion times. ‘Kohane, am I talking too loud?’ before quitting and just letting him look. You must’ve done something to piss him off, what a jerk! You’re so sick of him being so immature! He should just man up and tell you when he’s pissed, not give you a dirty look- well, the more you look at it, it isn’t all that dirty. Why is he making that weird lopsided face? It looks dumb. You decide to stare at him back.
Akito jumps, quickly shifting his eyes away from you. How embarrassing! God, he must look like such a loser. He tries to act casual as you turn your head back Kohane, finally letting out a breath when you bring your attention back.
He has never been more thankful for anything in his life. Truly. He was feeling blessed until he felt a nudge on his shoulder.
Now, he wasn’t excited to mess someone up in front of you, but he wasn’t about to look like some pussy either. Thankfully, there was no need, the sleaze seems chill, but damn, this guy sure looks like a toolbag.
“‘Sup, man?” He says, and Akito winces. This guy's voice is like nails on a chalkboard. Does he think he has swagger? How dare this guy interrupt his borderline creepy stalker time? He puts on an annoyed smile, deciding he has to be a little polite.
“‘Sup? Need somethin’?” God, he hopes not. He’s no good at directions, and he’s worse at being polite to bastards with ugly haircuts.
“Ah, was just wondering, that one yours?” The guy gestures to you two, nudging him again. Are you fucking kidding me right now? For his sake, Akito assumes this guy is talking about Kohane - which he still wasn’t enthusiastic about throwing to him - and shrugs. He felt a little dirty telling the name of his friend to this slimeball, but if it gets him off your back he’ll have to live with it. And he can just beat the daylights out of him if he tries anything funny anyway.
“The blonde girl with pigtails? Her name is Kohane, and no, I’m not with her, but she doesn’t-“ He’s quickly interrupted.
“No, no, the other one. Y’know the hot one talkin’ to her?”
Akito’s eye twitches. How dare this guy talk about you like that. His blood boils over, and he quickly grows defensive. Yes, you know what, you are his, and he’s not about to let this slimeball think any different. He can’t believe that anyone would dare think of you like that. “The hot one”? Ha, don’t make him laugh. You are hot, sure, but you’re also a total brat. Does that weirdo know your favorite drink from this café? For fucks sake, he didn’t even know your name. You’re not a thing, but you ARE his. He pushes the man - yes, man, he’s sure this guy is grown - away, masking himself in half-playfulness.
“Yeah, back off dude. They’re mine, yeah?” He’s loud - louder than he’d like - when he scolds him. He obviously comes off as hostile because everybody (including you. confused and probably disgusted you.) turned to look at him. Ugh, how embarrassing!
You and Kohane exchange confused glances, making him fall further into the pit of guilt. Maybe he went a little far, I mean you aren’t his, so maybe you’d be interested in him- Nah, he acts like a slimeball, and looks like one, despite all Akitos flaws, he’s miles better than this freak, but he probably embarrassed you. The guy backs away in defense, holding his hands up.
“Hey, hey, don’t worry, was just wonderin’ I know what you see in them.” The guy pulls back, obviously not about to take whatever shit Akito was so willing to put on him. Smart move, because his nice streak was running out. The guy scampers away, muttering out his apologies. Oh great, now he really looks like a psycho. He’s gonna have to change his name and switch schools-
He sees you turn to him and laugh, God, he’s so fucked.
Now you, mildly amused, somewhat heartbroken, and really pissed off you, had seen this little outburst, and the “they’re mine”, and immediately assumed he was talking about Kohane. Obviously. You two aren’t together, you thought you’d at least remember that.
Your first train of thought as his self-proclaimed ‘semi-best-friend’, was how dare he not tell you about this?! And how dare he just lead you on like that when he had a girlfriend? What a jerk! You didn’t even have feelings for him anyway. You’re better than that! You exhale, trying to calm your heart. It’s not the time for this. It’s ‘semi-best-friend-who-hates-him’ time, so you prance over to him with a shit-eating grin.
“Damn, someone’s protective of their girlfriend! I’m heartbroken that you didn’t tell me, y’know. I thought we were besties!” You knock into his shoulder, giving a convincing eyebrow wiggle.
What the fuck? No, like, seriously what the fuck? Akitos mind jumps around in his skull, not finding a single thing to say. Do you think- Really? Him and Kohane? He lets out a laugh, rubbing his eyes in exasperation. You’re so dumb sometimes, really dumb. Cute though. Smart too. Pretty, funny, dense-
“Nah, no I’m- I’m not with her.” His voice finally comes out, and you’re hit with a wave of confusion. Not with her? If that’s the case, what was his outburst even about?
“Then why the crash out, huh? Do you like her?” You tease, stretching out the ‘like’. Your hands go back to his shoulders, jumping up and down. If you were to be honest with yourself, you’d find that you’re guiltily happy at the fact they’re not dating. You’d never admit that though. Not to this punk.
His breath gets caught in his throat, his pulse quickening at the closeness. You’re such a dunce, are you blind? Do you not know how he feels? As said, he hasn’t really been subtle about it.
“I- uh-” He looks to the side, struggling to find anything to say. Whatever happened to stone-cold Akito? Is he just going to sit there foolishly? He's embarrassed, to say the least. How is he even supposed to rectify this? Hey, I’m totally into you, sorry for embarrassing you in front of our friend?! “I’m-”
“You do like her!” You screech, still shaking him up. You don't feel great about it, sure, but it's still fun to tease him. He's still your best friend, so-
“No, stupid I- God, that’s not it! You're so dumb, I was talking about you-“
You freeze, and so does he. Maybe that was the wrong thing to say. He decides it was.
“What?!” You sputter, stepping back. Did you hear him correctly? There's no way… right? You know that he had been flirty, sure, but this? A real confession? It seems completely out of character for the rough-and-tough boy, and it really did come from nowhere. Unfortunately, your confusion only serves to piss him off. Where do you get the nerve to act shocked?
“Whatdya mean ‘what?’?!” He crosses his arms, obviously growing irritated by your ignorance. He stares down at you, wiping his palms on his pants in suspense. “Do you not get it?-”
“I just thought you were…” you trail off, fidgeting with your hemline, “so you're not with Kohane?” Your voice is reluctant as you ask, wanting to confirm it; confirm he likes you.
“No, I’m not with Kohane!-“ He defends, running a hand through his hair.
“And… you like me?” You point to yourself.
“Yes, that's what I said-”
“Oh.”
“”Oh?!” What is “oh?!”?” His voice comes out embarrassingly high-pitched, and it furthers the awkward moment.
“Oh. It’s just… oh.”
You both look the other way, trying your best to peek at each other's faces while remaining indiscreet. He wasn’t about to look at you while you embarrassed him. You’re so annoying.
Silence is something you two don't do very well when you're together, but it develops… in time.
You break it, you always were charitable.
“I kinda like you too y’know,” you confess, “even if you're kind’ve a jackass and you have bad hair.”
“I- okay.” He doesn’t dare to look at you, much to your annoyance.
“”Okay”? You got mad at me for an “Oh” but you give me an “okay”?!”
“Whatever, weirdo.”
“You suck, Shinonome.”
Kohane sees you guys holding hands when you three walk home that night… but she decides to keep her mouth shut.
#x reader#project sekai x reader#reader insert#pjsk x reader#pjsk#project sekai#fanfic#vbs akito#pjsk akito#akito shinonome x reader#akito project sekai#akito x reader#akito shinonome#shinonome#shinonome akito#pjsk colorful stage#colorful stage#vocaloid x reader#gender neutral reader#male reader#x female reader#meow#fluff#jp sekai#en sekai#pj sekai#sekai#ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ#tags#tommie needs to actually write instead of sit in her bed all day and do nothing
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comfort / a. russo
A/N so i’m ngl to you guys. it’s been years since i wrote fanfic. but MISS ALESSIA RUSSO goddamn ok sorry i just couldn’t help myself. she’s got such a loving aura. (also its so short cause i legit wrote it in my notes app in 5 mins it’s so trash but oh well LMAO)
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32.
32 streetlights. that’s how many you’ve counted in your nervous haze. making a mental note of each one you pass in hopes to take the edge off of the stress you were feeling. meeting the girl their girlfriends family is this stressful for everyone, right?
a hand shifts onto your thigh and places a gentle affectionate squeeze, shifting your attention from the passenger window.
“you’re very quiet, everything okay?”
alessia. your alessia. too perceptive for her own good. you shift your gaze from her hand to her face, seeing the concern furrowed in her brow as she keeps her focus on navigating the road ahead.
“i’m alright, i’m just on edge.”
there's no use in lying to her, she can see right through you. she smiles slightly and your attention is brought back to her hand on your thigh. despite it being minimal, the small act of affection works wonders, as you already feel tension leaving your body.
“you’re gonna be fine, baby. they’ll love you.”
she’s so earnest and endearing. every word leaving her mouth leaving you in a lovestruck daze.
“you’re sure?”
she squeezes your thigh once again, this time a little bit firmer as if to convey her emotions through doing so.
“of course i am, honey. all they want for me is someone who treats me well, and they can clearly see that you do that and more”
she glances towards you momentarily to make sure you’re taking her words into consideration.
“how come you’re so nervous suddenly? you were so excited to meet them before.. you’re not having doubts or anything, right?”
slight insecurity pools out in her voice towards the end which immediately raises alarm sirens in your head.
“no! no, god no, nothing like that lessi, i promise.”
she audibly sighs out of relief muttering a brief apology as you offer a small smile at her endearing nature. pulling up at the red traffic light you sigh as you realise there’s no escaping her concerned gaze now. her brows furrowed and nose slightly crunched in concern as her gaze is directed straight towards you.
“i’m just nervous 'cause.. well. i just really love being with you, and i really want a future with you. i just don’t want to mess this up and have your family not approve of us.. i want to impress them.”
her face immediately softens as she moves her hand from your thigh to your own hand, interlocking your fingers together.
“y/n, you mean the world to me and my family knows that. they know you make me happy and so that’s all that matters to them. they can’t wait to meet you. and besides, you don’t need to worry about any of that, i love you no matter what.”
it’s at this moment you sit and wonder what on earth you did to deserve a woman like this by your side. your mind spiralling with thoughts about how you actually managed to get this diamond to fall for you.
you look down bashfully and raise your interlocked hands, placing a gentle kiss on hers before mumbling a thank you.
a moment passes before you smirk in her direction.
“so.. you really love me then, huh?”
“oh my god y/n.”
#alessia russo x reader#alessia russo imagine#alessia russo#woso x reader#woso imagine#woso fanfic#alessia russo fanfic
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S7 Thots for this week: Why is everyone here actually delusional asf???
(Apologies for posting this late guys I was very tired when I started writing this…I was also high asf so be mindful of that while you read lol.)
• Oh great now #Raphne is going through shit and everyone’s gonna have to dedicate their whole life to fixing it!
• Bryson laying it on THICC this morning I know dats rightttt😛😛😛
• No seriously why ze fook are we helping them with their issues? I need these people to go back to university or wherever and take a communication course cuz y’all are clearly lacking.
• Tanya so messy for asking that. Girl you know exactly who tf it is why you lowkey telling on yourself like that?😭😭😭
• #Raphne is 100% completely done y’all omg! (Bullshit)
• NO YOU WILL NOT!
• Willow is STILL talking as if anybody give af about what she got to say. Someone get this woman a hobby I’m begginggggg.
• I love having bathing suits worth mentioning now😍
• Ain’t no way they tryna force a argument between me and my partner over this Raf and Daphne mess…bitch.
• WE DONT HAVE TO AGREE ON EVERY SINGLE THING TO BE IN SYNC THATS NOT HOW COUPLES OR HUMANS WORK!
• Talk less sir.
• Why is there always some of the girls trading jealous looks when it comes to this challenge. The point is to literally kiss everyone and y’all still be getting salty, get over it??? Maybe I’m just crazy but I would literally not care.
• Once again Willow is putting on a show for her imaginary friends and nobody in the real world is gagging.
• Wow, now all of a sudden we don’t know how to kiss each other properly because we couldn’t help another couple stop arguing over fucking sheets😕
• How am I having more chemistry with Raf than my own man? God help us.
• Omg Evan came back for me y'all😍😍😍😍😍
• Paying gems magically brings back chemistry to our couple I guess.
• Girl you deserve a 10 backwards.
• That joke bullshit…BOO! CORNY! LAME! 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅
• Bryson real lucky he’s cute or I wouldn’t allow him to be acting like a 12 year old about his feelings.
• #Raphne is back together woohoo! (They’re literally gonna break it off again as soon as Daphne founds out bout Raf’s crush)
• Don't force me to have a moment with her ew! That ho is NOT my friend.
• There’s quite literally no reason to speak to everyone about the recoupling. NO REASON!
• Outfit time!🤩
• Eat! Eat! Eat!
• Thought Bryson was finna ask us to be his girlfriend right then and there ugh I need him to hurry up.
• CAN YOU ALL LEAVE US THE ABSOLUTE FUCK ALONE LIKE GODDAMN????
• Vicky if you can see how close me and Bryson are then why would you…never mind why even ask at this point.
• Bonnie has been trying to get with Tanya since the beginning of time. Girl just give up PLEASE.
• Girl who tf is you-
• Why did we get dressed up just to go speak to 3 people???????????? Chile anyways it’s outfit time AGAIN✨
• EAT! EAT! EAT!
• LMAOOOO she's such a loser I almost feel bad...almost.
• Uma you know good and well you meant to record them boys fighting. Fuck outta here with that excuse💀
• Y'all will not let Jake REST oh my goodness.
• Oooo y’all the way Bryson is fighting for us…kinda feeling butterflies in my stomach and elsewhere🤭🤭🤭
• Everyone here is so delusional when it comes to Tanya holy fuck. Actually no, this happens every season. Why do some of these people think that just because THEY feel a good connection with MC that automatically means she wants them? Like baby that’s not how this works…
• Oh Bryson don't end half of the villa like that-
• Daphne don’t ask me if I think you and yo man gon make it niece you don’t want my answer to that lmao.
• 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂
• Why y’all ain’t make us do a surprise dumping so we could get Willow out? WHY IS SHE STILL HERE SHE LITERALLY HAS NOTHING TO CONTRIBUTE NOW????
• Oh I can tell you how! First, we're gonna walk in there and start marveling at every single thing in the room, specifically the bed, even though we've already been in there. Then, bet y'all won't see this coming, we're gonna find a box filled with naughty things😱😱😱 After that, we get to work and all that can be registered is the feeling of our partner's soft lips and how their hands caress our body in every place possible and then after a while we both reach our climax at the same time. Then our partner says they love us blah blah blah, we get some text about what's happening tomorrow and it's prolly the baby challenge or something equally stupid and ridiculous, and then we cuddle up and go to bed.
• If everything I just said is in next week's hideaway scene, everyone who likes this post owes me $10. I'm just playing, we all know everything I said is definitely happening. Keep your money💖
#y’all they losing me it’s time to wrap this season up#litg#love island the game#litg s7#litg season 7#litg stick or twist#litg mc#litg bryson#litg willow#litg daphne#litg rafael#litg uma#litg bonnie#litg travis#litg vicky#litg evan
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ugggh sort of slogging through an artwork right now and I’m getting sooooooo in my head and self conscious about the way I make art
like. idk. i use strong language a lot because im melodramatic bitch, but generally i would consider my overall opinion of my art to be…harsh but fair. I could definitely cut myself some slack, but I’m also not *making shit up* just to hurt myself either. It’s critique that I’d give anyone, albeit harsher since it’s myself and not someone else.
I really think i have a complex because i have a graphic design background and…if you’ve seen my art…you can probably see why I found it very difficult to mesh my illustrations with my designs. Or maybe you can’t because you’re a better designer than me and would know what to do with it lmao. But i was doing that stuff when The Height Of Graphic Design™️ was Swiss typography and minimalism. So I pretty much never made anything that was on trend—aka marketable, which is sort of the entire point of graphic design—and it killed my confidence.
my skills stagnated because i was burnt out and couldn’t make anything, especially since i believed that the only stuff i was good at was literally unusable. And I did try, but it went pretty poorly. Looking back some of this was just imposter syndrome and me being a horrible inner critic. A lot of it looks better to me than it did then when i was making it. But i still see the exact same issues with my illustrative style in that space.
the never-ending complaint i have against my own art is also the thing that makes it good at all: it’s an absolute fucking mess of lines. Don’t get me wrong, i ADORE messy art. I love impressionist painting. I think gesture drawings and sketches are beautiful, and i like making mess art. But goddamn if it doesn’t feel like it’s the only thing i can make.
There’s so much i want to do but I feel extremely limited. I know the answer is that i should just practice and deal with stuff…sucking and looking ugly for a while. But it’s hard to throw all that time into making something that i know is subpar or even just bad.
And it’s just annoying to feel like the reason i can’t do something isn’t a materials or a money or even an inspiration or concept thing. It’s purely a skill issue. I literally just…can’t do it. It reminds me of when i went ice skating the first time and couldn’t make any progress despite my brain knowing what to do. My body couldn’t execute it. And it’s the same thing with this stuff.
I hate having to give up on something, not because i want to or am not enjoying it or don’t have time or anything, but because i simply can’t. I can’t ice skate, and I can’t make beautiful, clean art either, and for weirdly the exact same reason.
There’s also something to be said for the fact that any artist worth their salt regardless of their style can do what i do, really. It’s like i stopped after step 2 of sketching and never finished or learned anything past it lol. Every great artist out there doing great portraits or figure drawings can do gesture, can do sorta messy, etc. But i can’t clean my shit up to save my life lmao
idk this isn’t supposed to be a pity post or fishing. if i didn’t like the art i make i wouldn’t post it, you know? And i didn’t for a long time but i like everything I’ve put on here. I don’t think they’re bad, obviously. But when I see all the stuff I wish I could do…a wistful envy follows.
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hello can i ask for skyberrie, dinmaul, and darkpilot?
Skyberrie
Don’t Ship It
1. Why don’t you ship it?
Tbh I just don't find Padmé terribly compelling? Like she was a baby politician, a child queen, fought off an invasion, has a ridiculous murder-peacock wardrobe and these grand sweeping ideals, but like. She has no bite? No edge? Instead she's this Platonic ideal of, like, a tragic doomed love dead wife, instead of the hit mess of a person that she should have been. I mean she impulse-marries a 19yo when she's like 24! She's been a head of state since she was like thirteen! That's fucked! Her brain should be soup! But instead she's just the Dead Wife of the franchise and that's on George, RIP.
2. What would have made you like it?
Lol the above I suppose. If any of her massively traumatizing life (because yeah being in charge of actual human (or whatever) lives from the age of ten and your entire existence being a public servant is fucking traumatic) was actually addressed or impacted her personality. Instead the majority of her character is Looking Like Natalie Portman. Again, RIP.
3. Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?
The concept is very good and I have no issue with it in the movies (don't talk to me about TCW, I have nothing nice to say about that trash fire), I just personally am not drawn to actively shipping it.
Dinmaul
Ship It
1. What made you ship it?
I was last-minute nominating ships for either the Rarepair Exchange or Maythe4th and frantically throwing characters that interest me at each other and when I looked at Din and Maul next to each other it was like part of the universe slotted into place. Oh yeah, those two'll work.
2. What are your favorite things about the ship?
The absolute fucking ridiculousness of it all. The rich history and backstory of Maul that Din doesn't know jack about shit about. The hilarity of Din carting around one of the last scions of the Jedi and hooking up with one of the only survivor of the line of Bane. Two by right of conquest Mand'alors who actually don't give a good goddamn fuck about Mandalore. The fact that if Maul looked at the Darksaber and said "hey that's mine, some little teenaged shit stole it from my fucking house" then there's a good chance Din would be like "oh wow that's crazy do you want it back" fully knowing that it would drive Bo-Katan around the fucking bend. Yhe fact that it's entirely possible Grogu would fucking know who Maul is, to some extent, and either side-eye him like a motherfucker or trust in the fact that his dad has him well in hand lmao. The fact that all Din wants is his family and all Maul wants is a friend. There's so much, there's so fucking much.
3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?
.........i don't think there's enough content for there to be any kind of fanon? But given how shitty the fanon is surrounding Din and Maul separately, i'm sure if dinmaul becomes more popular i'll find something lol.
Darkpilot
Don’t Ship It
1. Why don’t you ship it?
I just don't like Kylo, I don't find him interesting or compelling. He's not even crunchy.
2. What would have made you like it?
If Kylo was a better character? But then maybe not, because my condolences to Mr. Driver but I find him deeply unpleasant to look at or listen to. RIP.
3. Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?
Y'all seem to be having a fun sexy time with it and that's what's important 💖
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chapter 30 has me CLIMBING the WALLS
the visceral uncomfortableness of a dead silent car ride with these two,,,, i can not even begin to imagine it. the tension in there was so heavy and so dense i’m shocked it didnt make a black hole
first thought when naoya took a suddenly different turn on the street was “oh so we’re getting murdered in an alleyway??? left to die??” he does not come off with good vibes for himself at ALL. luckily its just for more doctors appointments. deeply sorry to every individual that had to be around these twos painfully obvious rift
EVERYTIME NAOYA TRIED TO TALK TO HER… i know hes done nothing to properly redeem himself but ohmygod i can feel the awkward pains. kudos to him for not just like bursting into tears in the elevator when she turned away. i would’ve been a mess.
i’m gonna THROTTLE this doctor (also y/n girl i get the frustration but what did you WANT him to SAY for you on the cheating question,,, if he speaks over you to answer i know you aren’t going to like that either he can NOT win this one,,,) - and also the one time naoya pulls himself together to assist by showing the ultrasound that gets just shot down as well. we are on a losing battle. naoya stans stay losing 😔
incredible balls to try for the “wanna get something to eat?” a SECOND time. that play failed MISERABLY last time and its already been a string of horrible events today but lets GO king!!🗣️💯🔥give us nothing!! 🔥🔥❗️💯
concluding- naoya has been exuding CRITICAL levels of shaking chihuahua and cringefail energy ft. y/n desperately trying to Hold It Together. exquisite chapter. looking forward to the next as always
AUGHAUAH I ALREADY SENT A CHAPTER 30 ASK BUT I REREAD IT THIS MORNING N WENT BACK OVER THE “test her condition” PART- not sure how i left this outta the last one that had me so fried
but am i hallucinating or is naoya… also hesitant about that? i know that its just two words “Naoya swallows” but it SOUNDS like he’s got just. the barest hint. the barest idea that perhaps,,, maybe,, that would be a bad thing to do. now if he knows the WHY of why it would be bad is a completely different question, but it at least reads as if he faintly understands he should NOT do that again.
(feel free to just like. screenshot this and throw it in w the bigger one lmaoo i still can’t believe i left this out its huge)
Hello!!!!
HAHAHAH I’m glad you’re suffering, I mean, enjoying the latest update 😊 Also, don't worry about the asks hehe you can send in as many as you want! I looooooove reading and answering them 🥺❤
Now, Imagine if someone decided to accompany them? I don’t know, like Ranta. I think the poor boy would’ve been like “omg… Naoya really has no chance” lol OR WORSE, NAOAKI FOR SURE Y/N WOULD’VE IGNORED NAOYA EVER MORE HAHAHA
“Y/N” Naoya calls “Is there something you’d like to—”
“Naoaki, look! There’s snow on the mountains! No wonder it’s so cold, guess we'll need more than a few blankets tonight”
Naoaki: 😳
Naoya cries, mind going on and on about what did Y/N mean with “we’ll” before remembering the night he saw him leave her chambers.
And I’m pretty sure that’s what Y/N thought too when they headed somewhere else lol she has long accepted that nothing good will come from him (but she didn’t expect it to happen so soon!!! She feared Hitomi and Haruko were going to be like GODDAMN IT I TOLD YOU TO NOT GO. Also, wasn't Naobito in charge of that!!?!?!) but thank God it was just him doing (1) of his many commitments towards Y/N, which considering whom they came from, mean nothing.
I’d hate to be the person attending them :s luckily… we’ll have something of that perspective next chapter (if I don’t discard it 🤭)
The worst part of Naoya’s continuous failing attempts would definitely have to be the way Y/N just turned away hahahah I was like DAMN girl, even if she was somewhat afraid of doing anything because of his outburst she really did that. And Naoya took it lmao straight to the heart. Good.
As for Naoya crying… heh. 😊 I just realized we haven’t seen him do that… interesting, I think you might like that one chapter.
The whole doctor thing was just awful. He was really out there, jabbing at anyone he could 😳 I’m surprised he didn’t kick it up a notch and slander Toji too. Though I think Naobito was like “No, Naoya is sensitive and he might actually kill you so chill, I still have use for you” lol
I’ll still defend Y/N by saying she hasn’t cheated on Naoya but…. I mean, the emotional department… that’s long gone hahahahahahahahahahhahahaahhahahaha Still, wtf is this man going over and over about that particular topic? Like, we get it. You want to know. Ok, sure, maybe she’s gotten something but these two for sure haven’t so NEXT. Shouldn't we be talking about Naoya in that sense???
As for the ultrasound part, I actually was like “huh, impressive Naoya decided to actually stand up and do something” maybe to get his money’s worth, or probably to reveal “WHAT THE HELL DO THESE THINGS MEAN????? IS THERE A BABY THERE OR NOT” get outta here... and how he reacted to the rest of the procedures I was just like yep, there he is... usual Naoya.
This man is grasping at straws at this point, inviting her out to eat was the evidence of that lol. If Y/N was a bit more… assertive and fearless, she would’ve been like “are you serious right now? You want me to get sentenced to death again? Sir, I only have one life, GOODBYE”
As for the “test her condition”… it’s the doctor instigating Y/N and Naoya again with Naoaki lol. I don’t know what this man is thinking, seriously. Probably that Y/N was abstaining to do the deed in a more pleasurable way 🤮and the way he was disappointed that there was no heartbeat or a fetus in there wtf lol.
Naoya is hesitant because of Naoaki more than anything, as well as the fact that he can’t get near Y/N at all, his father’s conditions for her survival looming in the back of his mind.
If it helps to give some peace of mind, Naoya does not have it in him to force himself on Y/N again, at least… not now. Because he knows if he crosses that line again, she’ll definitely run towards Naoaki and never leave, and his marriage is DONE. GONE. (can’t be a good person just cause, eh??)
Both characters are on a really tight spot, but I guess in an emotional distress Naoya is in the worse position as of right now. (Y/N is used to it in a way, while he’s barely comprehending what’s going on around him, he's got a whoooole world of turmoil to comprehend, and more to come lmao)
But as you said, we're out here cheering for Naoya lmao!!! Indeed, go give us nothing 😂😂 And the way you described Naoya as a chihuahua... lmao, couldn't be more accurate.
I'm so glad you like this chapter!! It gets me excited for the rest which I cannot wait to show :> !!!!!
Once again, thank you so much for tuning in for another update ❤ also, if there's more things you wish to know or just share my askbox is always open 🤭I looooooooove reading your comments ngl 😭 it often provides me perspectives I fail to see, thank you so much 🥺❤
I hope you have a wonderful week, take care, and hope to see you soon!!!
#ask#ask series: first it hurts—#naoya zenin#naoya zen'in#naoya x reader#naoya zenin x reader#naoya zenin x your#jjk naoya#naoya zen'in x reader
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What tv show/movie do you wish everyone would watch? Either it's underrated or it has a meaning/theme that you think is important or it's just your favorite of all time etc etc :)
Okay I’ve been thinking about this for over an hour and honestly I do a lot of TV watching so I feel like sitting on it for longer is not going to make this an easier thing to answer.
Crazy Ex Girlfriend - It’s a musical show with such a diverse cast. It hits on mental illness as like the main theme but it also has - a fat character who never diets and her fatness is never talked about (which, please god more of this. If I see another fat character written so someone can be on a goddamn diet or be the comedic relief the whole show I’m gonna rip my own hair out.) She’s allowed to be a whole person and have wants and needs outside of her family and her job and I just fucking love Paula. It has middle aged queer representation (please go look up Gettin’ Bi, where the man who owns this law firm comes out to his entire company during a meeting.) Like there’s just so much good shit that we get to see not just talked about but talked about in a way that I feel like is handled really fucking well. Plus it’s just so goddamn funny ( ‘Heavy Boobs’ is a song that still gets referenced a lot in my house lmao.)
Honorable mentions (because like I said I watch a lot of TV): Bob’s Burgers (please god that family is so messed up and they love each other so much. The season 13 Christmas episode makes me weep it’s so soft), Galavant (another musical show but one that did not get a satisfying ending since the main character’s actor left to do something else and they kind of sort of ended on a cliff hanger? But it’s still a good show overall!!) Drop Dead Diva- not a musical show but a show about a thin woman who dies in a car accident and comes back in the body of a fat woman, and she has to learn about fatness and loving herself and has to unlearn a lot of Shit that we’re force fed by society about fatness and. I don’t remember if that one holds up completely, it’s been a long time since I watched, but at one point it made my fat girl heart so happy. She’s strong and beautiful and so goddamn smart and she had love!! Interests!!! 🥰🥰🥰 Like she’s seen as desirable and that was so surprising and made me cry. I ALMOST LEFT STEVEN UNIVERSE OFF OF THIS! The body representation, the gender representation, the way mental health and trauma are talked about just. 15/10 I love that show to death. Plus it’s a cartoon with such gorgeous animation and the best color palettes and just. Yeah. I cannot believe I almost left it off. (plus it’s also musical in the way that Bob’s burgers is. Not every episode has a song but the ones that do are *chef’s kiss.* love that shit.)
I know I’m leaving a lot of good shit off of here, (I was trying to think of movies and literally cannot think of anything outside of Jordan Peele’s work right now, but slap that man’s name on it and I am fucking watching it at least once).
I could literally talk about this shit for days. 😂😊😅😅
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hey!! this might be really long and if so i'm sorry for that, just trying to figure some stuff out.
okay basically, i'm a cis female and idk what my sexuality is. i've never been in a relationship, never had strong feelings for anyone, i've kissed three boys all in club settings, and i am so confused.
i think women are pretty?? and i love looking at them in a respectful, 'you're so gorgeous way', and men are good looking in a very different way to me but i still think i'm attracted to them
i'd like to kiss a girl but i can't ever see myself being in a relationship with one. and i don't know if that is some sort of internalised homophobia that i need to address or if it's just lack of experience, bc i don't think i can see myself with a guy. or maybe a can because it's what i see all around me???
and then the idea of being approached by a women in a sexual/romantic way scares me. is that just lack of experience??
and then i've had multiple people say to me 'are you sure you aren't gay?' and other things along those lines in a non-serious way, and if i am queer, i feel like i'm proving them right, and how did i not see or realise this sooner?? like i should've known right?? if everyone else did??
and a lot of my friends are queer and i feel really safe and accepted with them, so i don't know if i just want to be apart of that and am simply creating issues that aren't even there to begin with??
but then i've dreamt about being with women and straight women don't have them?? right?
then i tell myself i don't have to know right now, but it seems like everyone else but me knows. i'm 20 yrs old and i have NO idea about anything, and maybe that's okay? plus sexuality is fluid? and always changing so maybe i'll never know?
this was very messy and i'm sorry for that, but if you have any advice or thoughts, i'd be so grateful, i'm so overwhelmed right now. - a <3
Hi hi hi A!! Don’t worry about it long rambly asks are totally fine I’m here for u homie
Wow bro ur getting some action 😭 😭 can we switch places lmao
Oh wow you’re 20?? Okay disclaimer, I am a teenager haha so take everything I say with a pinch of salt bc I explored this whole sexuality thing when I was like 13, so we’ve had v different experiences but I’ll try my best to help u out bro I gotchu
What do you mean by “in a different way?” That can mean two things. Do you find women pretty objectively and men like ATTRACTIVE, or are you attracted to both men and women in different ways?
The whole being scared thing is, as my generation would say, a Big Mood. It could be either internalised homophobia or lack of experience or maybe you just don’t like women at all.
In terms of dreaming about being with women, that could mean anything or nothing. Dreams are just your subconscious putting everything in a blender and pouring the smoothie of hell into your sleep brain. It could mean you want to be with women or it could mean that shit in ur skull is just fucking around.
Honey you do NOT have to know right know. You’re twenty. That’s like. You’ve lived like 25% of your life, approximately. That’s jack shit. That’s not even the pass mark on most tests. You have got SO MUCH of your life left to live, you’ve got like decades and shit man, you don’t gotta have everything down right now. Talk to like ur parents or older friends and see *how much* life you have ahead of you.
It’s possible that this may also be contributing to that whole young adult early 20s “oh my god everyone else knows everything and i’m floundering” but honey trust me EVERYONE is floundering. Everyone is fucked. People seem put together but trust me dude we are all goddamn messes. You’re not alone. So many people are trying to figure themselves out, just like you.
Imma be fr thinking about this shit? Overrated. You’ll just think urself into another spiral and it’ll be the mental equivalent of doing like 19 buzzfeed quizzes titled “Am I Gay?” at 3:41am and wondering where ur life is going.
Just. Stop thinking. I know it’s hard trust me I have shitass anxiety and it’s so so hard to stop thinking but stop. Tell ur brain to stfu
And then just think of one thing. what makes you HAPPY?
Because that’s all that matters in the long run, doesn’t it?
Kiss a girl and see if it makes you happy. Kiss a guy and ask yourself the same thing.
If I were you, what I would personally do is just uhhh fuck around and find out? Go to a bunch of clubs and just be really slutty til things eventually make sense lmaoo
But once again that’s not for everyone so maybe just try and think about it. Does the idea of being with a girl make you happy? With a guy? Being single?
Also one idea might be for you to explore the aromantic label—you said you’ve never had strong feelings for anyone and it sounds like you might be aro. Look under my #aro questioning tag and check out these posts:
Remember, A, there’s no time limits on these things. There’s no deadlines. You’re young, you’ve got your whole life ahead of you, so take it slow and just be HAPPY and be true to yourself. Bend society to fit you—don’t bend yourself to fit labels, yknow what Im saying? Labels aren’t all that important at the end of the day. Just. Just *be.*
I hope I could help you out A!! Sending so so much love <3333 If you ever wanna talk again feel free to drop me an ask!! Have an awesome day <33
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survey #126
Tell me about the first five photos you have on your phone or camera. First by date taken (or saved) and not like, my five most recent? There's a meerkat wallpaper, a Markiplier quote one, me holding my niece Emerson when she was born, and then two of Roman.
Have you got any half or step siblings? One half-brother, two half-sisters (that I count, there's one more but I don't know her), and technically a stepbrother through my dad's current wife, but I don't consider him my brother at all. Also barely know him.
Have you ever known someone online and then met them in person? If so, which website did you meet on? Yes, Sara. We "met" via the Meerkat Manor fanbase on YouTube at like, 8 and 10 years of age. DARK fuckin days lmfao
When was the last time you were sick and what illness did you have? Covid, many months ago.
Do you know anyone with a serious anger management problem? No, thank FUCKING god. I can't handle people who show anger on an aggressively physical level, never mind on a regular basis. I fucking can't, especially if it's a man. I'm breaking the FUCK down, no matter what man it is/his relation to me or what setting we're in.
What color is your wallet? Red, black, and creamy white. It's a Harley Quinn (comics-style) design.
Have you seen all the Lord of the Rings movies? I haven't seen any, actually. Not interested.
Do you have an unhealthy obsession with colored furry throw pillows that are different shapes and sizes? Haha no, but I AM obsessed with those pillows that have been a "thing" lately that look like various types of succulents. I SO BADLY wanna get one of those totally ethereal bed comforters that looks like moss or just other grassy stuff along with some of those pillows, goddamn I would be so happy.
Have you ever had to call the cops on someone else before? *I* didn't, but my sister did on a VERY obviously intoxicated (or dealing with something similar) driver. This motherfucker nearly hit so, SO many people, like I KNOW we weren't the only people who called them in, given we were on a Raleigh (NC capitol) highway, where it's extremely busy. It was actually on my birthday on the way back home and I was in full panic attack mode freaking the TOTAL fuck out. I just hate cars, man.
Don’t you hate it when people suddenly love a celebrity when they die? I. HATE. This question. Somebody - and usually someone very loved by a massive number of people, if they're a celebrity - just fucking DIED, left the fucking world, and you wanna complain about people caring? Go fuck yourself, like jesus fucking christ.
What was the last cocktail you drank? I tried a Mai Tai yesterday that Mom made, but it was disgusting (aka too strong) so I certainly didn't truly drink it.
Are you good at keeping running counts and tallies in your head? NONONOONONONONONONOONONONONONONONONONOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, it is honestly absurd how bad I am at remembering numbers in any context. With counting, if you say a SINGLE word to me while I'm focusing way too fuckin hard on not messing up, I'm immediately losing where I was, even if it was single digits.
Are there any foods you hate the smell of but like the taste, or vice versa? Well, I absolutely adore the smell of coffee, but I think it tastes disgusting. I'm sure there's other stuff, too.
Do you have a dishwasher? Yes, thank god.
Do you make to-do lists? I actually recently downloaded a nice to-do list program on this laptop that I've been enjoying using. It's been helping me. It's called Todoist if you wanna check it out, it's nice, and free.
What pet names do you use for your friends/loved ones? "Hun(ny)," "dear," "darling," and "love" are most common for me with friends. I'm also one of those people who use "bitch" affectionately lmao, don't be offended by me saying that.
What pet names do you like to be called? Just about anything is fine with me, but I definitely favor cute ones, like I know I've mentioned in the past a doctor I used to see who called all her patients (including elderly men) "ladybug" and it was my favorite thing ever, please she was SO cute and I miss her. OH, one I CAN think of that I will absolutely hate from anyone is "princess," holy fucking shit don't.
Have you ever developed your own film? No.
What breed was the last dog you saw? She's a chihuahua.
What’s your favorite thing to do at the end of the day? Lately my unwinding routine in bed has been scroll through Tumblr, then Facebook before actually trying to sleep. Sometimes I'll add Insta or Pinterest.
Do you have a hard time letting things go? I have a miserably hard time letting people go, like it's absurd JUST how reluctant I am with basically anybody, no matter what they've done.
When did you last feel fear? Stepping on the scale for my weight to be logged at the psychiatrist today. THANKFULLY, it hadn't gone up.
What last made you smile? I saw this super fuckin cute picture I hadn't seen before on Tumblr of Richard and Paul being girlfriends, smiling was mandatory
Have you ever walked through a sunflower field? NO BUT I WISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Are you a fan of Taylor Swift? What’s your favorite song from her? No, but there are a couple mega-old songs by her I enjoy; I sincerely and wholeheartedly love "Love Story," and I'm sorry but "Picture To Burn" is a CLASSIC that I think every teenager has belted at least once lmfao
What’s something great that has happened to you recently? Actually today at PT, I noticed in the mirror that the pants I regularly wear out looked a lot baggier on me than what I'd grown used to. I commented mostly to myself on it, and Mom pointed out, "Brittany, you have absolutely lost weight," and it was really really REALLY validating and exciting to know other people could see progress.
Would you ever paint your bedroom bright blue? No. Maybe a lighter blue, but not bright.
What’s your favorite way to eat rice? As pork fried rice.
What’s something that has really impacted your life? Dealing with a plethora of mental illnesses, as well as experiencing relationship trauma.
What did you last have as a snack? Some peach rings.
Do you like lima beans? NO, I despise all beans. As a kid I used to explain hating lima beans with "they have fluff in them" and girl real and true 😭
How many bottles do you see from where you’re sitting? Just the water bottle by me.
Do you ever do these surveys with your SO? Nah.
Do you have a waste basket in your car? Mom generally keeps a plastic bag hooked around the transmission thing.
What’s the last wild animal you have seen? Well realistically I'm sure a bird, but maybe close to a week ago, a rabbit was in our front yard around dusk! Lil guy was just grazing and I freaked bc bunny. I immediately tried getting a picture of it from my window, but because of the lighting but especially the window blinds, it wasn't gonna happen.
Something you were surprised to learn about your parent’s childhood? [TW: RAPE] Childhood, idk, but I never knew my mother was drugged by her "boyfriend" and date-raped until like, literally this year. That's how Katie got here. My mom is just too fucking good for this world and even any heaven, I learned because via DNA testing and stuff Katie recently got in touch with her father, and has apparently been building a relationship with him, and my mom is entirely refusing to tell her what really brought her here; like, I asked her, and she responded with so much fire and SO quickly that she was not taking this away from her. I cannot IMAGINE the pain it causes her, especially when Katie's told her he's been nice. I just can't even try to imagine, I fuckin can't.
Have you ever told a friend you thought their parent was hot? Uh no, that's weird.
Have you ever destroyed another person’s belongings out of anger? Absolutely not, find a better way to be angry, ffs.
Which painkiller do you use? Usually Ibuprofen 'cuz it's cheaper than Advil but still basically the same thing.
Would you like to be part of a wedding party? It's honestly not my favorite thing, primarily because of all the pictures, but of course I would be in them for my family and close friends.
Have you ever thrown anything up to hang on the power/phone lines? No, not a fan of that.
Something you taught yourself how to do? Edit videos in Sony Vegas programs at least semi-decently.
What is the last song you listened to in a car? Uhhhh I honestly can't remember what was the last thing on this morning.
Do you currently feel calm? Yeah, I'm fine. Probably going to sleep soon; surprised I'm not already honestly, last night was TERRIBLE sleep-wise and I've been a complete zombie today, so I really shouldn't be awake.
If applicable, what’s your favorite sports team? Not into sports.
When did you last sign your signature? Today at the psychiatrist actually, for a certain sort of info release.
What cover do you think is better than the original song? Two BLARINGLY obvious ones imo that I always instantly go to: Johnny Cash's version of "Hurt" (originally by Nine Inch Nails) and Disturbed's cover of "Sound of Silence" (originally by Simon & Garfunkel). Like, it's not even a competition.
Who is the last person that gave you butterflies? Girt.
Are you planning on kissing anyone tomorrow evening? Girt is coming over tomorrow so I'm sure I will.
Have you ever told a guy you were a lesbian to get him to leave you alone? No.
If you have a favorite television show, who’s your favorite character? In Meerkat Manor, it's Mozart. Growing up it was always Flower, but I mean, she was basically everybody's with her being like the "main" character that you were always rooting for, but I've considered it Mozart for many years now. Don't get me wrong, I adore Flower (I loved every single meerkat merely mentioned in that show), but Mozart was just a truly gentle meerkat, even without the MM script that made up or altered things. In That '70s Show, it's SO hard to pick because all the characters are so memorable and lovable in their own way, but I think I've always liked Hyde the most.
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miss kitty | jjk
pairing(s): jungkook x reader
summary: Oh, Miss Kitty, you're so bad but so good, so damn beautiful that you make me sick, ah, for real tho, Jeon Jungkook swallowed too much alcohol and ice-cold chaser at once and now he's sprinting to the bathroom to vomit. But, oh, he does want all those kisses so damn bad.
warnings: language; alcohol consumption; pining what's new, it's JK; vocal line ogling Miss Kitty, what? she's in a bikini, we know she's doing it on purpose; if the outfits sound familiar, refer to the original ITS outfits, lmao; literally just crack + fluff; mentions of a blowjob and sex daydreams; non-idol!BTS - a mess (of bad decisions)!Jungkook x noona!reader, ft vocal line shenanigans, mentions of Joon + Hobi, and Yoongi appearing at random inappropriate times; JK's POV with a tiny bit of Seokjin's POV
ofc inspired by 'bad decisions' by benny blanco, bts, and snoop dogg
--
“You’re kidding me.”
“She never comes to these things.”
“The hell are you guys looking at – holy shit.”
“Are those cat ears?”
“Who gives a shit about the cat ears? She’s in a goddamn bikini!”
“What is her tongue doing?”
“Can you be jealous of air? Because I’m jealous of air right now.”
“I heard she bites into her popsicles.”
The four heads admiring the woman in a black bikini and fluffy cat ears snapped to the side in unison where a bored voice sat under them, using the four men as his personal shade. Sunglasses, wide-brimmed straw hat, watermelon popsicle, wearing a long-sleeved white shirt and black pants at a pool party, nodding sagely as he continued.
“I lied. I’ve seen it. It’s hardcore,” Min Yoongi said with about as much enthusiasm as a rock.
“Where’d you get the hat, hyung?”
“Hoseok put it on me. I don’t know where he went.”
Kim Taehyung put his large hand on Min Yoongi’s straw hat and patted the golden-yellow circle. Yoongi continued enjoying his popsicle and squinting at the sun. Well, it was hard to tell because of the sunglasses, but that was what Jeon Jungkook assumed because he had seen Yoongi’s disapproving face enough times to see the wrinkle of distaste in his otherwise neutral, slightly upturned mouth.
Strangely cat-like.
“She’s crawling on people and pouring their drinks into their mouths,” Park Jimin suddenly said.
Kim Seokjin made a choking sound and covered his eyes, looking straight through his fingers. He was also wearing a straw hat that coincidentally matching Yoongi’s – or, rather, previously Jung Hoseok’s. He was looking handsome in a bright pink tropical-print shirt, robin’s egg blue t-shirt, and white shorts, itching closer to the drinks table to grab… something.
“What are you doing, hyung?” Taehyung suddenly piped up, making Seokjin squeak and send the red plastic cup he had been reaching for shooting across the table.
“Nothing!”
“Bring her over here, Tae,” Jimin hissed, taking his sunglasses off his head and hiding his eyes, as if he could hide in his royal blue shirt and distressed denim shorts that showed off his powerful calves.
“How?”
“How? Your face, bro!”
Taehyung was apparently completely unaware of how naturally handsome he was, but he was also the guy in a half-unbuttoned lemon-print collared shirt with green shorts that exactly matched the shade of green of the leaves, so it was pretty obvious that he was pretending for the sake of his dignity. “My face? What am I supposed to do? Smile?”
“It works on everyone else!” Jimin retorted.
“It kinda does,” Yoongi agreed, licking his popsicle.
Jungkook chanced a moment to stare at her.
This was bad.
Firstly, she was definitely out of his league. Those full, shapely lips in that teasing half-smile. Eyes that promised making secrets if you got her alone. The movement of her hair cascading over her shoulders as she walked. No makeup – he could tell because the small mole under the left side of her lower lip was visible. So fucking pretty that he wanted to throw up. Soft little cat-ear headband giving her a demure look even though there was nothing demure about that sleek, sexy body tucked into a simple black bikini. Clean lines, nothing fancy, but a million bucks because it was on her, perky ass and long legs ending in strappy heels.
She bent over and Jungkook had to stare at her face to avoid thinking about ramming his hips into that plush booty.
Secondly, she was older than him, which was not a problem except it was a problem because Jungkook was trying not to be that guy, you know, the kind of guy that went after older women because they most likely knew how to suck dick better or was that just his brain trying to justify watching her tongue dance across her lips as she leaned in and poured a drink into some girl’s mouth. The girl looked like she was about to orgasm.
Same, miss, same.
Thirdly, women like that had a reputation for only appearing when they wanted someone to prey on and Jungkook didn’t want to be that guy, you know, the one that was eagerly waiting to be preyed on every day of the week, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, I mean what, no, but, well, he had to admit that there was something sexy about letting it happen even if it was clearly a bad decision.
Fourthly.
She looked up and made eye contact with him.
Shit!
Jungkook threw himself behind Taehyung and stumbled right into Seokjin’s midsection.
Jimin gasped.
Yoongi scooted out of the way and finished his popsicle.
He wouldn’t. No, of course, no. It was a terrible choice. And what was he gonna do? Those legs around his waist and that insane confidence all up on him – no, Jungkook didn’t believe that he could survive. And the whole situation was even worse because one time he accidentally overheard some noises and saw something at the back of another party, at the gazebo in the lavish garden. Surrounded by trees and dark wood, there it was, Kim Namjoon’s dick down her throat and her tongue flashing against his crotch, her hands clutching tan shorts that were still-half-on.
Nope, Jungkook would die if she came within ten meters of him.
He didn’t want to be that guy.
God, she was so fucking hot that Jungkook wanted to die.
He grabbed Seokjin and dragged him around the large table of drinks and coolers, grabbing a cold glass of pink ice and pouring two shots of vodka down his throat, chasing it with the frozen slush.
Okay, it wasn’t two shots of vodka.
The soju bottle was half-empty in his hand.
A bad decision.
Jungkook choked at the ice-cold sensation and Seokjin, instead of helping him, snatched the glass from him and chased down whatever god-awful burning fire he also ingested, leaving them both collapsing and dying under the table. Taehyung rushed over as Jimin scooped up an ice tea-looking drink that definitely didn’t only have ice tea in it.
“Guys, are you okay? Drink this!”
“What happened, Jungkook suddenly malfunctioned…!”
He didn’t have time to explain through his blurred vision and inability to feel his throat that was both hot and cold at once, thoughts swimming, those legs popping into his head again, the soft curve of that v-line, hips that begged for hands, tiny waist trapped between his arms, okay, fine, Jungkook had sex dreams about her, but who could blame him, he accidentally watched her give a blowjob! At a public party! Not in public, but… basically! And she had that beautiful face, he hated how she could look sexy and cute at the same time, and he didn’t see her often enough even though he went to these parties with Taehyung and Jimin in attempt to see her again, just to see her body line and her smile, not to touch, of course not, he couldn’t.
She was there only rarely, but.
He wanted to make out with that mouth so bad.
Feel those kisses on his skin and squirm in a dark corner, trying to hide from everyone but also not, at this point he didn’t have shame anymore, he was clutching Seokjin like a life raft on the patio under a table and drunk on his thoughts, in another dimension where this sexy noona in a black bikini and cat ears was crawling over him, her fist on his chest mimicking a kitty cat as she leaned in and pressed that underlip mole against his skin, lips and tongue connecting with his.
He had never even spoken one word to her.
Wait.
No, one time he said, hi.
That was a strong enough foundation to at least hold hands, right?
Jungkook felt a hand on his right leg.
“Hey, you alright? Should I call paramedics?”
Everyone froze.
Jungkook felt his eyelids stretch into huge, geometrically correct circles around his large eyeballs.
She was kneeling under the table, staring at Seokjin and him.
Holy fuck, I can see her nipples.
Her hair framed her face perfectly, wispy tips around her cheeks and over half her forehead. Inquisitive eyes with a piercing shape, the kind you would always remember. Soft pillowy lips slightly parted with that small mole slightly to the left of that full lower lip. The cups of the bikini molded perfectly to her breasts, but this angle showed off the peak of each mound, sticking out very obviously because she was on her knees on the wooden deck, under the plastic table, tilting her head as her left hand rested on his right calf.
The cat ears gave her gestures a feline playfulness.
She crawled over a little more and Jungkook nearly threw up, the alcohol suddenly hitting him like a truck. Or she was so damn beautiful that his body was physically rejecting the liquid poison so he could maintain an erection.
One of those.
“I’m gonna be sick,” he wheezed.
He threw Seokjin aside and his hyung yelled as he was caught by Taehyung, but Jungkook was too busy scrambling to his feet, losing his sandals in the process, a blur of topical yellow shirt, black t-shirt and blue shorts, throwing himself into the open patio door and hastily stumbling into the nearest bathroom to retch.
Nice.
-
Kim Seokjin never made bad decisions.
Nope.
He only made good decisions, like pretending to play dead as the sexy woman crawled over him and placed her hand on his forehead, asking Taehyung if he was okay. He let Taehyung sputter as he cracked open his eyes to peek at those boobs and those supple legs between his legs. Could feel her soft skin against his and the pads of her fingers stroking his brow. He heard them suggest going inside to lay down for a bit. Saw Jimin helping her up, so Seokjin did what any person attracted to nice ass would do.
Stare at it.
Her back was turned. She wouldn’t know.
“I’ve been here before. For a vacation last year. The bedrooms are this way.”
The air conditioning felt nice actually.
-
Jungkook lost them.
How could he lose three men, especially with one with massive shoulders, one of the sexiest men alive and… well, Jungkook often lost Jimin but that was because he didn’t have a reason to look down that often. Kidding! Anyway… after gargling an obscene amount of sink water and reconfiguring his swirly vision, Jungkook emerged from the bathroom, expecting to see three concerned faces looking for him, but there was nothing but bouncy club music and summer outfits on bodies that weren’t the ones he came with.
He didn’t even see the straw hat hyung.
He came because Jung Hoseok had asked him to come and celebrate summer, renting out a huge vacation mansion to do so. He had no problem coming over to help set up, but he told his hyung that he was going home right after, he wasn’t the party type, not really, oh, well, maybe stay for an hour, ah, okay, two, holy shit, cat ears and a bikini and Jungkook was doomed.
Damn you Miss Kitty.
In his defense, Jungkook had never seen her in a bikini before!
And it was glorious.
His dick was wet thinking about it.
Jungkook jerked and went back into the bathroom.
Reemerged after cleaning that up. Anyway. No. Jungkook was not gonna be that guy. Hooking up at a party? No, that wasn’t him. He was the kind of guy to dance in a corner and stay in that corner with his friends. His friends would wander off to take photos and make small talk, but that wasn’t him. And he certainly couldn’t chat up someone he was interested in, especially someone so damn beautiful that it made him sick.
Oh!
Jungkook found his sandals. Someone must have collected them and put them by the patio door. He was about to put them on and check outside, but them he spotted something in the mess of shoes. Dainty, strappy black heels in the rays of golden hour barely starting.
He whipped his head around and went back into the house.
Friends? What are those? They would find him eventually. He scanned the party, looking past the glowing faces, peering at the tops of heads for fuzzy black cat ears. He was just looking. He wasn’t going to do anything. He was just checking out what she was–
Perky faux animal ears bobbing past his vision, coming from the kitchen.
Jungkook’s brain told him, this is a bad idea.
Jungkook’s dick told him, looking at those nipples poking out of that bikini one more time couldn’t hurt.
Jungkook’s legs were already walking very fast.
In hindsight, he knew why he was hesitating. He was a simple guy. He liked what he liked and, when it was a person, he didn’t want to let go, especially when that person was cool, capable, and stunningly attractive, someone who did whatever she wanted but never at the expense of others, someone who tiptoed the line of what was proper, breaking those rules so casually that he fell deeper and deeper for that teasing half-smile, but they hadn’t even had a real conversation yet and what if he was in delulu land all this time?
But Jungkook couldn’t just let her walk away.
If it was a bad decision, then…
Fuck it.
He saw her enter a room, leaving the door partly open.
“I brought a cold cloth and some water.”
Jungkook slowly peered over the doorframe.
Seokjin was half-propped up on a bed with an obscene number of pillows as Jimin and Taehyung crowded around him, lifting his hair as she placed a damp washcloth on that handsome forehead, handing him the glass of water.
“Should I bring some hangover cure too?”
“Ah, aren’t you cold, noona?” Taehyung asked worriedly, placing a light hand on her shoulder. “We should find a jacket or something…”
“It’s so nice,” Seokjin suddenly said very loudly. “When you’re all sitting next to me.”
The eldest shot a murderous look at Jimin and Taehyung, wordlessly telling them both to not have her move from his vision again. She seemed not to notice, patting Seokjin on the head with her thigh against his, scooting closer to the pillows.
“Don’t worry, we’ll accompany you until you feel better.”
Miss Kitty – not her name but what Jungkook was calling her in his head now – leaned over to the pillows and placed her forearms on them, turning to Jimin to ask how he knew Jung Hoseok, but Jungkook had no idea what she said because he was staring at her ass nestled in the bedcovers and that gorgeous back half-covered by her hair. She was having an entire conversation with the three of them as Seokjin sipped on his water and acted as if he was slowly but surely recovering from some mild distress, and yet Jungkook was hearing none of it, tuning out their joyful laughter as he gawked by the door. She turned to speak to Taehyung.
Jungkook stared at her stunning profile, dying slowly but surely on the inside.
She leaned over to Seokjin and kissed him on the cheek, turning him instantly red.
“Feeling better?”
Jungkook nearly broke the doorframe as he threw himself inside the bedroom.
“Hey, I’ve been looking for you guys!”
That sounded way more aggressive than he meant it to sound, but Jungkook didn’t care about those sudden fear in three collective pairs of eyes because her head turned in slow motion, cat ears and all, looking over her shoulder, and then those inquisitive eyes were on him, just him, Jeon Jungkook.
“Oh! I know you. Ah… what was it again…?” She scrunched up her face a little in adorable thought. “Aah, Jeon Jungkook! Yes, Namjoon told me a lot about you.”
Everything but her saying his name went over his head.
“W-W-What…?”
She turned slightly, her chest against Seokjin’s arm and his hyung turned even redder, abruptly freezing in place and not moving. Her arm shifted and she borrowed that broad shoulder, smiling at him and Jungkook felt his mind turn into a puddle of mush, forgetting all Korean as she said, “He said you’re good at everything. Especially sports. The complete opposite of me, heh.”
“I’m not good at sports,” Seokjin blurted.
“Me neither,” Jimin suddenly added.
Taehyung was not one to be ignored. “I could teach you golf. It’s easy.”
“Is it?”
And she looked away from Jungkook.
That does it.
There was a certain bro code. Don’t make moves unless alone. Simple common courtesy. Group settings should be chill, not a competition. But all was fair in love and war and this was war, so Jungkook slid out of his yellow short-sleeved button-up and walked forward, placing his knee on the bed and draping it over her shoulders in the middle of their conversation.
She turned immediately, her hair bubbling in the collar, kissable lips parted in surprise.
“You’ll get a cold,” Jungkook said quietly. “That wouldn’t be good, noona.”
There was a second too long, a pause that seemed to linger.
“… Thanks, Jungkook.”
She patted the spot on the other side of her.
“Come a little closer.”
-
“You can’t be serious.”
Somehow it was already dark. The party was winding down. Everyone was finding corners to sit in. An old-school, feel-good movie played on the massive television screen in the living room that people occasionally glanced at. Seokjin got hungry and left with Taehyung to order something to be delivered. Jimin got whisked away when someone recognized him from the door. Must have been someone that he hadn’t seen in a while because he was glued by the door now, leaving Jungkook sitting with his noona wearing cat ears and his shirt over her bathing suit.
“Over a perilla leaf? Isn’t that a little too extreme?”
She was laughing at him. Jungkook puffed his cheeks.
“You don’t understand!”
“No, I don’t. It’s just a leaf,” she chuckled, shaking her head. “You think too much about a simple gesture. What, you let me borrow your shirt and I should expect us to kiss?” She grinned, anticipating him to answer with something silly.
Jungkook opened his mouth but nothing came out.
The reality of their moment alone suddenly hit him.
The corners of her lips faltered, noticing his hesitation. He swallowed quickly and shifted his eyes, begging Jimin to come back and break this sudden tension, but Jimin was too absorbed in his friend reenacting a funny story and now this was getting too weird, he had waited too long to say anything and so he willed his head to turn and at least look in her direction but he couldn’t for some reason, his neck and ears turning hot as he sputtered then almost full-on threw himself onto the floor when her hand touched his thigh.
“Jungkook?”
He jerked robotically and laughed awkwardly, the noise immediately dying when his eyes made contact with hers.
She tilted her head, cat ears and all.
Don’t do that, Miss Kitty!
Her hand shot back like he was made of hot coal.
“Sorry. Sorry, I was… well, you acted a little weird there.”
Wait, don’t do that either.
Jungkook cleared his throat, swallowing his nervousness. “No, I…”
He suddenly noticed the placement of her hands on her lap, her fingertips rubbing the hem of the shirt against her thigh. She hummed along the bass of the song playing outside, looking away from him, and suddenly he felt bad. His odd behavior probably made her uncomfortable.
“Hey, uh, noona?”
She turned her head and gave him an attentive look, so pretty he nearly became tongue-tied again.
“What’s with the cat ears?”
She ticked her chin and gaze upwards as if she was glancing at them even though they were on the top of her head. “Oh, these? I just felt like wearing them.” She grinned, creating little bread-like puffs of her cheeks. “I felt like I should have a little fun so why not look the part too?” She raised her hand and lightly bonked the side of her head, letting out a half-sigh, half-laugh. “I’m always fighting between, am I too much or should I let myself go wild? ‘Cause I want to do things but people might misunderstand me.”
Her fist curled a little and her expression became one of cat-like mischief, his shirt falling open a little and exposing part of that tiny bikini top.
“Nyang.”
Jungkook was going to faint from her cuteness.
And losing blood in his head because it was rapidly shooting down to the lower half of his body.
She laughed, dropping her hand and waving it around. “Just ignore that, hahaha! I do whatever comes to mind that feels like it might be fun, heh.”
“No,” Jungkook heard himself saying. “That was cute. Do it again.”
Holy shit. He was smiling like a dumb idiot. Where did this confidence come from? He must be drunk. Never mind that he emptied the contents of his stomach earlier. Never mind he definitely spent the past three hours talking and drinking nothing but water. He must be drunk. Fuck, why was she so cute and sexy? With those expressive eyes and that smooth skin with the little dot of a mole underneath her lower lip on the left side, a half-smile as she raised both hands to mimic little two paws and went…
“Nyang.”
Her knuckles brushed against his collarbone lightly, smile turning into a playful smirk.
“Nyang!”
Jungkook died.
Not literally.
But, well, Jimin was still right there, people he didn’t know were right there, Seokjin and Taehyung could come back any second, and if he wasn’t in heaven, he was at least in a fever dream and somehow previous knowledge of late-night dramas popped into his head, generally not advice he would ever take in real life, but, all of a sudden, he was compelled to reach up and grab her hand, covering her make-believe cat-paw with his larger hand, tattooed fingers over her knuckles.
She froze, eyes widening.
“Hey, noona.”
Her eyes darted from his hand to his face.
This was a bad decision.
Jungkook let himself smile because he didn’t care.
“I wish you would kiss me, but that’s crazy, huh?”
What the hell am I saying? Abort! Take it back right now – wait, why was she getting close–
She leaned over and her lips touched his.
Now Jungkook was sure he died. Maybe literally. Ceased to function at least. It was only a simple press of lips to lips and then she drew back a little, tilting her head a little and smiling. He was dead. This must be heaven.
“Just one? Or more?”
He was speaking but it was more like barely intelligible mumbles. “B-But… I… You… me…”
She tapped his own hand against his chest, mischievous sparkle in those eyes.
“I mean, if you think helping someone peel a perilla leaf is going to lead to holding hands, to kissing, to straight up marriage, what does borrowing your shirt lead to?” she purred against his lips. “It smells just like you, like you’re right against my skin, giving me a hug from behind.”
His brain immediately went to delulu land. A back-hug? In her bikini? With his nose nuzzling in between her fake cat ears? And everyone knowing they were together?
He would just have to convince her to be his.
Jungkook closed the distance between them and she smiled against his colliding kiss.
In hindsight, this was a bad decision. Now Jungkook was going to have to lie and tell his children that he asked his mom out on cute dates instead of the truth of becoming obsessed with her little by little, oh, and accidentally seeing her suck his hyung’s dick, and, ah, now making out with her on a bed that wasn’t his while she was in a bikini and cat ears wearing his shirt, her thighs squeezing his waist as he gasped into her mouth.
“What are you guys doing?”
Jungkook yelped and clutched her waist, shoving his face into her clavicle as she laughed and turned her head to the bored voice beside the bed. A peek over her shoulder and there was a straw hat and a pale hand holding a slice of pizza.
“Seokjin-hyung and some guys bought pizza,” Min Yoongi announced, chewing slowly as he stood there beside the bed, pointedly not explaining how or why he suddenly got there. “You should eat it while it’s still hot, Jungkook.”
“What about me?” said the laughing voice above Jungkook’s head. “I want pizza.”
“Apparently you’re eating men,” Yoongi countered. “I’m not worried about you being full. Jungkook will fill you up as soon as you let him.”
A full minute of dead silence that was filled with outside laughing and loud music. Yoongi casually munched on his pizza as Jungkook grabbed her hand and mumbled something about getting food, he couldn’t stay here any longer, he was going to expire of embarrassment, practically fusing with the wall to get away from that judging look. He didn’t regret it but it was still mortifying, all this a bad decision but bad as in bad meaning good, and he froze up as her fingers turned and intertwined with his, her body leaning against him, lips pressing to his cheek.
“Don’t worry. We’re accomplices now, you and me.”
Jungkook turned his head, staring into her eyes.
Miss Kitty and me.
The straw hat popped into his peripheral vision.
“I’m still here.”
Jungkook sputtered and ran, her laugh right by his side.
--
masterpost
#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#bts fluff#jungkook fluff#jeon jungkook x reader#jeon jungkook x you
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‘Ego’ Sucktember 2022 Day 1: Fingers
It's always about the potential.
‘Ego Sucktember’ - Most likely All Murdock Sucktember. I am SO normal about this man. Help.
Well fuck lmao this is longer than i intended. HIlskdfjsldfj damn it- I only wanted to write 250 words but this fucker got away from me.
Rating: NSFW MINORS DNI
AFAB!Reader/ Femme
Pairing: Murdock (ISWM) x afab!reader
Warnings: Risk/Breeding Kink, Cumstuffing, Petnames/use of 'girl', Mild Dubcon (He is infertile but it’s about the potential), Cum... eating? I think that’s the term.
Length: 800 Words
The only sounds in the room are your own heavy pants, blood rushing in your ears as you try to catch your breath. Murdock rumbles above you somewhere out of sight; you don’t care to look for him, given that you are too tired to move.
He moves you in your stead, gently grabbing your thighs and practically bending you in half. The Killer mumbles something under his breath; you barely catch ‘fertile’ before you realize what he’s doing, and you squirm slightly with a flustered whine.
Murdock braces his forearm against the back of your knees, humming softly as he kisses your thigh. “It’s about the potential, pretty girl. Always the potential.”
The weak slap you deliver to his forearm only makes him chuckle. “You know you love me.”
The sensation of two thick fingers gently sinking inside your abused cunt makes you hiccup, trying to shift away again. The man tuts softly, hilting them to the knuckle and slowly swirling around your combined juices. Lewd squelching issues from between your thighs and you moan, hiding your face behind your arms.
Murdock lightly bites your thigh then, curling his fingers into that spot that makes you see stars and relishing in the warbling little sob you make for him. “We’re gonna give it the best chance possible to take, sweet girl, you know that.”
You whine loudly, clenching unintentionally around his fingers and making him chuckle softly at your reactions. He peeks over your knees at you, that smug, hungry smile gracing his lips. “What’s wrong, fertile little thing? You knew exactly what you were getting yourself into.”
Usually, you’d have a biting remark for the smug bastard and his stupid bullshit dick magic, but another quirk of his fingers makes your back arch, choking out a curse. You expect him to keep this up until your cum on his fingers again, but the man finally relents and eases those accursed digits back out. You are only slightly disappointed by this.
“Look at me, Sweetheart.” You don’t realize that you’d closed your eyes until he speaks, looking back at him. Murdock has moved higher up so you can see him properly, still holding your legs with his forearm. His other hand hovers by his face, fingers glistening faintly in the low light.
You flush considerably, making a strangled little noise when you realize that his whole hand is soaked with that mess. That shouldn’t be hot, damn it-
Murdock holds your gaze as he brings his first finger to his mouth, tongue sliding up the soaked digit. When the muscle reaches the apex, he sinks the whole thing into his mouth with a hot groan, sucking the mess off with a messy slurp. He then repeats the same action with his pinky and thumb, and you find your breathing picking up with each one.
Fuck this stupid, sinful motherfucker and his goddamn sex appeal.
The man finally stops, leaving the last two still coated in your combined orgasms; the same two he was just fingering you with. You lick your lips subconsciously, only realizing what you did after the fact when he grins like a shark.
“It’d be mean of Sir to keep such a sweet treat to himself, wouldn’t it?”
He fucking looms over you, cockhead teasing your folds as he languidly brings those fingers to your lips. You don’t open your mouth immediately for him, clamping your lips shut out of principle. He huffs softly and smears the fluid over your lips, but you still don’t relent.
You don’t notice the look in his eyes, the way his grin sharpens until it’s too late and his cockhead sinking into you again. Your poor cunt is so sensitive that the sensation makes you gasp aloud, arching upwards. Murdock takes full advantage of your open mouth and plunges his fingers inside, smearing the slick over your tongue.
You shouldn’t make the sound you do, eyes rolling back slightly as your lips close over the digits and sucking noisily. The Killer curses softly under his breath as he sinks deeper, lightly fucking your mouth with his fingers while he seats himself fully back inside you.
“There’s my good girl, stuffed and bred like she deserves to be. Tastes good, doesn’t it, Sweetheart?”
You moan uselessly around his fingers, hands gripping his forearm so he doesn’t pull away. He groans again, leaning in to watch you. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
When you feel like you’ve cleaned his fingers, you try to lick the mess off his palm, but Murdock has other plans. Your whine at the loss of his fingers is muffled by his mouth; he kisses you instead, tongue quickly delving inside and mingling with your own. It’s intense and messy, tongues sliding and teeth clicking with the overwhelming taste of you both passing between you.
He won’t be leaving you for a while. You did say you liked a little risk, didn’t you? Just as much as you love this taste.
#murder bastard 🗡#murdock x reader#afab!reader#I will not apologize for any of this#my writing#ego sucktember#sucktember2022
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kiss and make up
- multiple characters
⤷ atsumu, sakusa
genre: (an attempt at) angst to fluff ; established relationship, timeskip
synopsis: in which you have an almost relationship-ending argument
word count: 2.1k total - about 1k each
warnings: fighting (obv), being called a burden, the boys are kinda mean but they make up for it i swear
- a/n: tbh i was kinda getting sick of writing just fluff so i wanted to spice it up a lil! if this sucks i’m probably going to stick to fluff fics but i think it should be fine? this one also only has 2 characs cause idk how i would be at writing angst LMAO if this does well enough i’ll post the one i have written w kuroo and iwa <3 but i feel like this kinda sucks so oh well
- thank u @kybabi for beta-ing <3
- miya atsumu
you n atsumu have been together since high school which is why you’ve always been inseparable
you went to the same college & moved in together right after, but once he got his job with the jackals, he insisted that you didn’t work and focused on getting your master’s degree
you reluctantly agreed, if only to be able finish & earn your phd soon after
because atsumu is always busy, it’s kinda become commonplace for you to do the chores around the house- like doing the laundry or washing the dishes or cooking dinner for him
but it’s gotten to the point where he expects it
atsumu sighs, unlocking the door to your shared apartment. today’s practice was rough, it was a day of hard conditioning and bad sets and he wanted nothing more than a good meal and to cuddle. the first thing he noticed when he walked in was the mess. instant ramen bowls were scattered everywhere, empty coke cans and dirty napkins were all over the floor, and there you were, in the eye of the hurricane. the second thing he noticed was that there was no homecooked meal.
surprised, he walks into the dining room to see you, furiously typing away at your laptop with four different books surrounding you. you hear his footsteps and look up.
“hey baby! how was practice?” you ask with a smile
atsumu grunts in reply and gestures toward the kitchen, “so.. what’s for dinner babe?”
your eyes widen, “oh shoot! i’m sorry, i was so busy studying for this final that i forgot to cook. do you mind-“ you stop when you see him roll his eyes and head out.
“um, where are you going? you just got home?” you ask, following him.
“out. i have to get food somehow” he replies, “especially because my useless s/o can’t cook a goddamn meal for me” he mutters under his breath
you stop in shock because did he really just say that?
“i’m sorry, i don’t think i heard you right.” you start but he interrupts you
“i said, i have to go get food because someone is too busy to cook a goddamn meal. what do you even do anyways- well, besides spend my money? the least you can do is cook for me, god.” he finally turns to look at you but he feels his heart stop at the look on your face.
not wanting to escalate the situation any further, you try to calm him down, “tsum, hey, i’m sorry i forgot to cook okay? this is my last final before the year ends and i just can’t afford to fail it, so i’ve been studying all day. if you come back to the kitchen, i’ll make you something, okay?”
“i don’t want to eat your half assed attempt at a meal, y/n. the whole point is that you couldn’t get off your ass for an hour to cook when i make the money, i paid for the apartment, hell, i’m even paying for your school! is it really too much to ask for you to stop being such a burden and cook and clean everyday?” he fumed.
you gape at him, shocked that he would even say that. to hell with not escalating things
“at least i want to do something more with my life than hit balls around and retire at 35” you hiss, “and i do everything in this house! i do the laundry, i clean the bathroom, i cook - i do all the things you refuse to. and do i complain? no. i offered to get a job but you refused.”
you turn around to grab your laptop and your textbooks, “just- just do whatever the hell you want to, atsumu.” and with that you walk out the door.
atsumu’s heart drops when he realizes that you actually left. sure, you’ve had arguments here and there, but you’ve never left. he pulls out his phone to call you when he sees you’ve left yours on the counter. knowing there’s nothing to do but wait at this point, he begins to clean up and calls osamu over.
-
it’s already 3 am when you walk back into your apartment, and you blink multiple times when you open the door. it’s ... clean? you’re sure it was a mess when you left, so how would it be clean? you sigh, too tired to think about it more and walk into the kitchen. your eyes widen at the sight. not only is your favorite food on the stove, but there your boyfriend is, asleep on the dining table. you smile slightly, well that explains things.
“ ‘’mu, hey, wake up babe.” you kiss him lightly and shake him.
he grunts and sits up, “baby! i’m so so sorry for what i said. you are in no way, shape, or form a burden, i have no clue why i said that. today’s practice was just really tiring, but i know i shouldn’t have taken it out on you. just please-” he sighs, “just please don’t leave me again.”
your heart breaks your teary eyed boyfriend. “shh, of course baby. i’ll never leave you again okay?” you say, tugging on his arm, “cmon babe, let’s go to bed, okay?”
“mm okay my love.” he replies and practically pulls you into bed. “i love you, okay?”
“i love you too baby.” you reply
“to the moon and back?” he asks
“yeah, and to infinity and beyond.” you reply, your lack of sleep hitting you hard
“oh, i didn’t know i was dating buzz lightyear”
you let out a loud laugh and just like that you both fall into the same routine, love radiating off both of you in waves.
- sakusa kiyoomi
dating sakusa was,, challenging
it definitely took him a while to get comfortable with you
so you guys have been dating for a couple years now, and at this point he’s def clingy
however there still moments when he reverts to his old self
this just happened to be one of those times
“OUT! AND JUST LIKE THAT, EJP RAIJIN TAKES THE WIN AGAINST THE BLACK JACKALS!”
the stadium is silent before the ejp cheering section erupts in cheers. you stay silent, watching your team below. you watch as sakusa stills, still in disbelief. you make your way down, practically sprinting to your boyfriend.
he sees you on the sideline and makes his way over to you. you put on your biggest smile and attempt to make him feel better.
“you did great, kiyo! you’ll get them next time, yeah?” you beam, knowing how hard he’s been training to beat his cousin
he eyes you warily, not knowing what to say.
usually, sakusa gets pretty clingy after games, so you you move to give him a hug.
“don’t touch me” he barked, jerking away from you. “if you hadn’t been distracting me, we would’ve won.”
you stare at him, refusing to let the tears flow. you both turn when you hear a certain setter yelling at the opposing middle and you sigh.
“um, okay then. i’ll see you at home, yeah?” you ask
sakusa merely nods and makes his way over to his teammates. you look around to see if anyone saw what just happened and you lock eyes with your boyfriend’s cousin, who walks over.
“congrats on the win komori! you guys did so well!” you cheered
“thanks, y/n! and i’m sorry about kiyoomi. i’m sure you know he gets that way sometimes.” he explains
you smile and shake your head, saying that you’re used to it and you both bid your farewells. as you walk out of the stadium, you think back to how your boyfriend, the one person you loved with everything you had in you, utterly embarrassed you in front of his whole team. before you know it, silent tears start streaming down your face.
you enter your home and immediately rush to the bathroom. you draw yourself a bath and make some dinner while waiting. you assume that kiyoomi wouldn’t be home to have dinner with you anyways- and now that you think about it, you can’t remember the last time you had dinner together. after you finish your bath and eat your dinner, you decide to wait up for boyfriend and watch a couple episodes of your favorite show to pass the time.
-
kiyoomi walks into his apartment at around 1 am, completely and utterly exhausted. he kicks his shoes off and drops his bag on the floor. The rustling rouses you from sleep and you sit up.
“hey kiyo” you say with a yawn, “where’ve you been all night?”
sakusa ignores you in favor of getting ready for bed and you frown when he brushes past you.
“kiyo, babe, what’s wrong? you’ve been ignoring me all night and i-” you start but he interrupts you before you can finish.
“god, just shut up, y/n. can’t you tell i don’t want to talk to you right now? i’ve already had the worst day, i don’t need you making it any worse.” he snaps
"kiyoomi, look, i understand you’re upset but you shouldn’t take it out on me.” you reason, reaching out towards him, “listen, i’m here if you wanna-”
“i said, do not touch me.” he seethes. “you are so fucking clingy y/n, lord, let me breathe a little.”
with those words, you explode. “you know what, sakusa,” he flinches when he hears his last name come out of your mouth, “i think i have the right to want to spend some time with my boyfriend! i haven’t seen you in god knows how long- you leave before i wake up and i fall asleep in an empty bed. i’ve been working my ass off to get some time off to watch your stupid volleyball game and what do you do? you embarrass me in front of your whole team!”
you sigh, wiping away the tears that continue that continue to fall. “listen, i don’t want to fight right now. i’m going to go stay at a friend’s house for the night, alright? i’ll see you tomorrow” you say, grabbing your purse. “if you’re even home tomorrow,” you add under your breath.
sakusa is in shock. the moment he saw your tears start to spill, he felt an undeniable and unrelenting ache in his chest that only seemed to grow with every work that came out of your mouth. and when the door shut? sakusa fell on his knees, his heart dropping. he truly couldn’t believe he said that to you. now all he had to do was wait till you got home.
-
2:38 pm - you check the time on your phone before pulling out your keys. you hope you made the right move, choosing to come back home while kiyoomi was still at practice. you open the door and the sight causes your eyes to widen.
there, on the couch with your favorite flowers in hand, is your boyfriend. he hears the door open and stands up abruptly.
“y/n, my love, i am so sorry. i truly cannot express how horrible i feel, and i cannot begin to understand how you feel.” he takes a deep breath, seemingly holding back tears. “i- i do love you. i love you more than i’ve ever loved anyone in my entire life. i know i’m not the best at expressing it, but you mean the world to me- no, you are my world. without you, i don’t know what i would do. so please-” his voice cracks, “just, please give me another chance?”
you run towards your boyfriend, practically tackling him. “kiyo, baby, of course. i love you too, you know? you just can’t do that anymore, yeah? you shouldn’t feel like you have the right to embarrass me just because you had a bad day. and please, don’t call me clingy? i know i do stick to you like glue sometimes, but that’s just because i never see you anymore.” you reply.
“that will all change, darling.” he answers sincerely, “i’ll make more time for you, i swear. in fact, i’ll take the week off, how does that sound?” at the sight of your smile, he relaxes.
“that sounds wonderful, yoomi.” you answer
sakusa feels the weight that’s been dragging him down lift and he realizes the effect you have on him- you’re his breath of fresh air. he also realizes how utterly idiotic it was to push away the one person who could make him feel better.
it’s fine, he reasons, he’ll just never make that mistake again. he swears it.
#haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu angst#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu oneshot#haikyuu drabbles#haikyuu fluff#hqradiostation#atsumu headcanons#atsumu drabble#miya atsumu#atsumu scenarios#atsumu angst#atsumu x reader#sakusa kiyoomi#sakusa fluff#sakusa hcs#sakusa x reader#hq sakusa#sakusa imagines#sakusa angst#all my love - signed; isa
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BnHA Chapter 322: IF I COULD TURN BACK TIME
Previously on BnHA: Endeavor was all, “Kirishima please take Hagakure and Aoyama and put them away somewhere out of sight until we’re finally ready for the U.A. Traitor Plot.” Shouto was all “HEY DEKU DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU THAT MAYBE YOU WANDERING THE STREETS LOOKING LIKE A GOTH PRAYING MANTIS IS EXACTLY WHAT AFO WANTS.” Deku was all “I’M SORRY I CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF MY CRUSHING MARTYR COMPLEX AND ACCUMULATED TRAUMA.” Mineta was all “HEY DEKU YOU SWEET THANG, IF I COULD REARRANGE THE ALPHABET I’D PUT ‘U’ AND ‘I’ TOGETHER, ANYWAYS HMU 💖”, or at least that’s what fandom apparently thought he said. Everyone was all “WELL SINCE WE’RE BACK HERE IN KAMINO WE SHOULD DO THE THING” and did the whole “launching someone into the air to save someone by dramatically grabbing their hand” thing that everybody fucking loves to do in Kamino so damn much. Iida was all “[bombards me and Deku with feels].” Deku was all, “ू(ʚ̴̶̷́ .̠ ʚ̴̶̷̥̀ ू).” I was all, “(;*△*;).” Horikoshi was all, “my work here is done.”
Today on BnHA:
oh my god.
so I finally went back to look at what I wrote up for 321 last week, and it’s a hot fucking mess lol, and I really don’t want to deal with that right now, so we’re just gonna skip it and go back sometime in the next few days or something because I really want to read the new chapter and I have no self control. I’M SORRY IIDA
oh my god he’s breaking out the narration word bubbles oh my god. shit is about to get epic isn’t it
has there ever been a chapter that opened with these that WASN’T epic? serious question. anyways all aboard the Feels Express I guess
YEP
I saved a bunch of other crying kaomojis when I was looking for ones to use in the “previously on” summary, and right now it’s looking like that was a good fucking decision you guys. if I’m going to be an emotional wreck I might as well do it in style ʕ ಡ ﹏ ಡ ʔ
AND BY THE WAY!!
SHOULD I JUST THANK HORIKOSHI NOW AND SAVE MYSELF SOME TIME LATER. THE MAN ALWAYS FUCKING DELIVERS WHAT ELSE CAN I FUCKING SAY GODDAMN. IS IT TOO EARLY TO DECLARE THIS MY NEW FAVORITE CHAPTER? I SHOULD PROBABLY READ FURTHER THAN ONE PAGE BUT I’VE JUST GOT A FEELING
(ETA: it’s like. maybe my second favorite lol. A HUG WOULD HAVE PUT IT IN FIRST, I’M JUST SAYING.)
anyway so Ochako is releasing Iida, which is actually hilarious, because idk if you all know this but Iida can’t fucking fly you guys
like, I assume Ochako released him because she already knew that Kirishima was in place to catch him, but I really love this split-second of panic on Iida’s part where he’s all “HMM, IS OCHAKO TRYING TO KILL ME, ACTUALLY”
LOL THERE’S A THOOM AND EVERYTHING
that’s some plus fucking ultra on Ochako’s part right there. “IF THEY DIE THEY DIE” goddamn girl did you leave your chill in the same locker as Momo or what
now poor Kiri is all “DAMMIT DEKU ARE YOU PASSED OUT OR WHAT, I DIDN’T GET TO TELL YOU MY THING GODDAMMIT”
oh my gosh he is curled up so small you guys oh my fucking lord
RESIDUAL “LOST CHILD” FEELS FROM LAST WEEK COMING IN FOR A LANDING!! PLEASE MAKE SURE YOUR SEATBACKS AND TRAY TABLES ARE IN THEIR UPRIGHT POSITIONS OMG ( ˚͈͈͈͈̥̆ ₍₎ ˚͈͈͈͈̥̆ )
LMAO IIDA IS TRYING TO CONFIRM THAT OCHAKO PLANNED FOR KIRISHIMA TO CATCH HIM, AND KIRISHIMA IS ALL “NOPE I’M JUST HERE BY CHANCE BRO”
Ochako is the U.A. Traitor confirmed. Hagakure I am so sorry I doubted you. Ochako get over here. so are you Toga now or what
anyway so now everyone is running over before Iida can react to this casual announcement of his attempted murder. and now Mina is taking her turn, and Horikoshi is all “HEY BTW IS MINA CRYING ON THE LIST OF THINGS THAT MAKE YOU CRY?” and of fucking course it is, you bastard. I’m not made of stone
( ɵ̥̥ ˑ̫ ɵ̥̥)
SLDKFJLSDKJ:LKWEJ
IS THIS THE PART WHERE I JUST START SCREAMING INCOHERENTLY FOR THE REST OF THE CHAPTER LOL. SURE FEELS LIKE WE ARE GETTING TO THAT TIME
OH MY GOD KACCHAN AHHHHH
I CAN’T OMG LOL I ALREADY GLANCED AT THE NEXT COUPLE OF PANELS, AND HE’S STARTING A WHOLEASS MONOLOGUE ABOUT ALL OF HIS DEKU FEELS AND OH MY GOD
“HERE YOU GO MAKESTE, A WHOLE CHAPTER OF ALL YOUR FAVORITE META TOPICS JUST THE WAY YOU LIKE THEM” THANK YOU HORIKOSHI YOU’RE A BRO (っ˘̩╭╮˘̩)っ
SLKASODIFALWKFLKJ
THEY’RE JUST DEKU AND KACCHAN. holy shit you guys. because oh my god, but it’s like when Deku was talking to the Vestiges about saving Tomura, and he turned into his little child self because his heart and intentions were so pure?? and it’s like that again, except that we’re seeing them as their child selves because that’s who they are to each other?? like, not that they actually see each other as children, but just, they can see past all of the stuff on the outside and see each other to their cores, to who they are inside, and when they look at each other they each simply see the other boy that they’ve known their whole entire life. idk?? does that make sense??? DOES ANY OF THIS EVEN MAKE SENSE I DON’T KNOW WHAT WORDS ARE ANYMORE I’M JUST SWIMMING IN FEELS OKAY. I’M TRYING HERE
they’re just boys, is what I’m trying to say, I guess. just Deku and Kacchan. all the walls are down, all the gaps are bridged, and all it is is the one boy reaching out and connecting with the other, and just,,, (꒦ິ⌓꒦ີ)
OH MY GOD [GRABBING YOUR SHOULDERS AND POINTING WORDLESSLY] !!!1LK1
DO YOU ALL KNOW WHAT THIS IS YOU GUYS
HOW PERFECTLY FUCKING RAD. WELL LET ME JUST ENJOY THESE LAST FEW SECONDS BEFORE MY LIFE IS FOREVER CHANGED, I GUESS
OH
MY
GOD
CAN HE EVEN SAY THAT??? IS THAT EVEN LEGAL??? IS HE EVEN FUCKING ALLOWED TO SAY THAT. WHAT IS HAPPENING
OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!
─=≡Σ((( つ ◕o◕ )つ
GET IN HERE, EVERYONE!!
Y’ALL HE REALLY DID IT. “BAKUGOU IS SUCH AN ASSHOLE HE HASN’T EVEN APOLOGIZED” WELL GUESS FUCKING WHAT. GUESS FUCKING WHAT, YOU GUYS!! LET’S FUCKING GOOOOO ((((/ ̄∇ ̄)/\( ̄∇ ̄\)))) AHHHHHHHHHH
OHHHHHHHH
HEH. I’M ALREADY DEAD, HORIKOSHI, YOU BASTARD. DO YOUR WORST. GO ON
YOU CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON “US”, HE SAYS. ALONG WITH A BUNCH OF OTHER STUFF OMG. KACCHAN, YOU STUDIED!! YOU UNDERSTAND!! PREACH!!
OH NO!!
OH WAIT!!!!
LOL I GOT SCARED THERE FOR A SECOND BUT ANYWAY! EVERYONE GET IN HERE!!! GROUP HUG!!! OR WAIT, NO, WHAT ABOUT -- [GRABS YOUR COLLAR URGENTLY] YOU DON’T THINK -- COULD THEY POSSIBLY -- !!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
ARE YOU GONNA HUG!??!?!?!?! I AM NOT OKAY!!!!!!! !!!hgk
REACTION PANELS LOL EVERYONE ELSE IS ON THE EDGE OF THEIR SEATS TOO WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER
LOL OCHAKO
I KNOW THAT IN REALITY THIS FACE IS JUST BECAUSE SHE’S CONCERNED ABOUT DEKU’S FRAGILE STATE RN, BUT I KEEP THINKING ABOUT THE WAY SHE JUST DROPPED IIDA COLD THOUGH, AND I CAN’T HELP BUT FEAR FOR KACCHAN’S SAFETY LMAO. THAT FEELING WHEN THE CLASS PERV AND THE CLASS BULLY BOTH BEAT YOU TO THE LOVE CONFESSION. KACCHAN WATCH YOUR SIX
OKAY BUT LOOK, IT’S NOT THAT I DON’T LOVE ALL OF THE OTHER KIDS, OKAY, BUT CAN WE PLEASE!??!?! HELLO?!?!? MOMO, JUST -- COULD YOU JUST FOR A MINUTE --
NOOOOOOOOOOO
“DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT, I HAVE TO SAVE SOMETHING FOR THE FINALE” HORIKOSHI YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, I’M COMING FOR YOU WITH A TWO BY FOUR!! NOT THAT I’M UNGRATEFUL!! BUT JESUS CHRIST, YOU CAN’T JUST DO THAT, AND THEN ALMOST DO THAT, AND THEN NOT!! OMG I HATE YOU
sure let’s cut to Thirteen then, yay. I mean I’m glad they’re alive lol, don’t get me wrong
(ETA: I think that might have sounded a bit sarcastic so I just want to clarify that I really am happy Thirteen is alive and on the job again lol.)
it’s just that if your name doesn’t begin with Baku or Deku I honestly am not interested for just these next five minutes okay lol. like I’m just gonna be completely honest. I am too invested lol, please, they were having a moment, JUST LET ME HAVE THIS PLEASE
OH DAMN U.A. GOT SWOLE AF
THIS SCHOOL HAS BEEN JUICING WTF. I THOUGHT YOU WERE TARTARUS LOL
I’m literally not even reading the speech bubbles though omg I’m so sorry. I really hope there is not a quiz, I promise I will come back to it later scroll scroll scroll
okay so they brought him back to U.A. and he’s all tired and out of it yes
oh goody Hagakure knows all about the security system
(ETA: is it just me or is Horikoshi really laying it on thick with the hints about these two guys lately? I’m on to you sir.)
THAT’S WONDERFUL NEWS. GLAD THIS CRITICAL KNOWLEDGE IS SAFE IN THE HANDS OF THE PEOPLE THAT WE TRUST
ffs Deku
WHAT WILL IT EVEN TAKE TO CONVINCE YOU THEN?? SWEET JESUS
-- holy shit, what??!
they know?? how did they find out??! holy shit???
I’m about to cancel the whole of Japan lmao. fucking try me dudes
-- THE PRINCIPAL!?
NEZU GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!! WHAT THE FUCK
“a ticking time bomb” tell you what, this man is just asking to be punched in the face. literally begging for it omg
(ETA: I have been advised that I misread this part; Rat Principal told everyone how safe U.A. was, but he’s not the one who ratted out Deku; that was “the rumors”, apparently. which, if I had to guess, were probably started by AFO.)
oh I see, so it’s to be Feels, Part II then
he looks so sad and tired and lonely and she goes right for the hand, god bless. though if Kacchan’s not gonna hug him, you’d think someone would at least. or is it because he still smells bad. hmm
AND THE CHAPTER’S ENDING ON HER LOL WELL OKAY THEN
I MEAN IT’S GREAT AND ALL, I LOVE OCHAKO REALLY I DO, BUT WE WERE PROMISED GREAT EXPLOSION MURDER GODS, WHAT GIVES SOB. I WAS ALL READY TO BREAK OUT INTO SONG AND EVERYTHING. SURE, HE DID THE APOLOGY, BUT WHERE IS THE FOLLOW-UP GODDAMMIT
(ETA: just to clarify the reason for my rambling here, I was really waiting for the hero name reveal and the presumed deeper meaning behind it lol. but I guess that is a conversation still to come! and we still need Deku’s response to the apology too for that matter. lots to look forward to still.)
WELL WHATEVER, SO THAT IS THE END OF THE CHAPTER! SHOUT OUT TO MY BOY RAT “LET ME JUST TELL EVERYONE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD ABOUT DEKU’S SUPER SECRET IDENTITY, I GUESS THAT’S ALL RIGHT NOW, NOTHING BAD COULD POSSIBLY COME OF THIS” PRINCIPAL. listen here you little shit
anyway but if you’ll excuse me... IF I COULD TURN BACK TIME. IF I COULD FIND A WAY. I’D TAKE BACK THOSE WORDS THAT HAVE HURT YOU, AND YOU’D STAY. I DON’T KNOW WHY I DID THE THINGS I DID. I DON’T KNOW WHY I SAID THE THINGS I SAID. PRIDE’S LIKE A KNIFE, IT CAN CUT DEEP INSIDE. WORDS ARE LIKE WEAPONS, THEY WOUND SOMETIMES. BUM~ BUM~ BUM~, I DIDN’T REALLY MEAN TO HURT YOU. BUM~ BUM~ BUM~, I DIDN’T WANNA SEE YOU GO. I KNOW I MADE YOU CRY, BUT BABAY, IF I COULD TUUUUURN BACK TIIIIIIIIIIIME...
#bnha 322#midoriya izuku#bakugou katsuki#bakudeku#uraraka ochako#class 1-a#bnha#boku no hero academia#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#makeste reads bnha#IF I COULD REACH THE STARS#I'D GIVE THEM ALL TO YOU#IF I COULD TURN BACK TIIIIIIIIME
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sick
avengers x gn!teen!reader
platonic!peter parker x reader
requested by @sunflowerbecca : "hey! a request with the whole teen avengers thing you got gotten on haha, anyways something where the reader gets hurt or faints etc etc and then the rest of the avengers are all worried and frantic as they care for them"
summary: there was a consequence of going on a mission while you were sick
warnings: mentions of throwing up and a tiny fight with bestfriend!peter, avengers babying you as usual
word count: roughly 5k words of utter bullshit me thinks but pls do give this a read LMAO
notes: i'm sorry this took longer to write i was unexpectedly busy on the weekends but here i am i hope you enjoy this <3
"stark, you sure about this?"
"of course i'm sure, capsicle. the kids have been bugging us to let them go on a mission together. i know it's because they just want to mess around without being scolded but this is the easiest mission we've ever gotten since the avengers. besides, they've been pretty good lately so i think they deserve it. don't you guys think so?"
his question was met with approving looks all over the room, except from steve. the whole team except the teens —you and peter— were having a meeting about a simple mission that was supposed to happen that night. you and peter weren't in the meeting because you two were still at school.
it had been months since you and peter started asking the team to let you guys go on missions alone without "adult supervision". it was true that you guys wanted that just so you could do missions without feeling like you were being babysat but it was also because you guys thought that you weren't kids anymore; you could handle simple missions.
"c'mon cap, don't you want to see their face light up when we tell them they can go on this mission together, without us?" clint urged. he knew steve loved the kids, especially you, and he especially loved seeing the way your eyes would light up first before you whole face did.
"okay, fine. but if anything happens to them, you guys are to blame for."
–
school had just finished and you were walking back to the tower with peter. you've been having a killer headache all day and you felt nauseous. you even went to the washroom to throw up twice today. of course you didn't tell peter because he was that type of overprotective best friend who would make you get home if you sneezed more than three times that day. all you wanted to do today was get home quick so you could sleep the sickness away.
yes, you knew you were sick. but you didn't want to tell anyone because like peter, the whole team was overprotective over you and they usually did too much when you were sick. so you avoided that by just acting like you were okay. that was going well so far since all you had to do when you get home was go to your room and tell them you stayed up late last night and needed to catch up on sleep.
of course that didn't go well.
"y/n!" you groaned when peter entered your room uninvited, immediately jumping onto your bed. "yes, pete?" you croaked. his joyful expression turned into a frown when he heard you. "what's wrong? are you okay?"
"yes, pete, i'm okay. just super sleep deprived." you lied, cringing when you felt your head throb once again. "oh.. did you..did you want to sleep? am i interrupting?" he asked, feeling bad. "no, no. it's fine, what did you want?"
"i just came to tell you that mr stark and the team are finally gonna let us go on a mission without them! there's one tonight and they're letting us go alone!" he announced excitedly. you couldn't help the small smile that appeared on your lips when he said that. his happiness was just so contagious.
"but if you wanna sleep then i'll just go with any one of them, i guess," he shrugged his shoulders with a nonchalant face but you knew he was internally begging you to come with. after all, you guys have been asking for this for the longest time.
you look at his hopeful face —one that he thought he was concealing very well— and sighed, flashing him a small smile. "fine, it's friday anyways so there's no school tomorrow. but you're buying me food tomorrow for postponing my catchup on beauty sleep," that is, if you can stomach the food, considering how you've thrown up almost anything you had for the past two days.
the thought of this mission going awry because of you being sick was almost immediately forgotten when you saw the huge smile on peter's face. he pulled you into a tight hug before letting go to jump on your bed. "we're finally gonna go on a mission alone!"
you laugh at his excitement though you wished he could lower down his volume because it was making your head hurt.
later that evening, you were in your room, sitting on the bed after having just finished putting on your suit when a knock was heard. after telling the person to come in, you met eyes with a certain blond haired super-soldier.
"hey, y/n." he greets, sitting down beside you. "hey, steve," you responded with a weak voice. he turned to you with a frown and you knew what was coming. "i'm fine, steve. i already had this conversation with pete. i just need sleep but i can get that after this mission. i'm not gonna be fine though if you wake me up at the crack of dawn to train when you know i just had a late night mission." you sassed, causing him to chuckle.
"okay, fine. i'm just worried about you two. you sure you're gonna be fine? don't need me to come along?" he asked, concern written all over his face.
"yes, steve. pete's been wanting a mission without you old folks for the longest time and i'm not gonna disappoint him by making you come along. we'll be fine, stevie. we're not little kids, we're avengers. we can handle finding a random chip in an abandoned building," you reasoned with him.
"it's not a rando— you know what? just be back home safe, okay kiddo?" he ruffled your hair, earning him a playful glare from you.
-
the swing trip to the mission location had you even more nauseous than you were earlier today and earlier today was worse than yesterday when the symptoms of your fever all started. you almost let go of peter because your body felt weak and now you were getting an earful from the boy.
"y/n, what were you thinking?! you could've gotten hurt!" he scolded you. you only looked down in guilt, biting the inside of your cheeks. "can we not do this now? let's talk about this back at the tower tomorrow," you waved him off, already beginning to feel the pounding headache getting worse. you started to walk ahead but then he gripped your upper arm, effectively halting you in your steps.
"y/n, if i hadn't grabbed onto you tighter the last minute, you could've plummeted 100 feet down to your death! did you know how scared i was?" his voice cracked and you immediately felt bad.
"you know you need to hold on too when i'm swinging us both! why'd you do that?" he yelled at you and you had to press onto your temple because of the headache that was steadily getting worse.
"look, pete, i'm really sorry about that, okay? that was unintentional but if you're gonna berate me over that, can you do that back at the tower?" you sighed, trying to shrug his grip off your arm but he kept it.
"you don't know the true weight of your actions, do you? you could've died, y/n! how do you think i would feel? being the reason my best friend died? having to go on with life without you? i can't lose you, y/n!" at this point, you could tell he was crying under his mask.
you felt bad. you knew you shouldn't have agreed to go on this mission knowing that you had been sick for the past two days. but you couldn't have let the opportunity pass. you couldn't bear to see peter disappointed after waiting for this moment for the longest time ever. but standing here, looking down as peter yelled at you while crying, you were starting to think that it was better to just see his disappointment. anything was better than seeing your best friend cry.
"pete, i truly am sorry. i love you and i would never leave you. but can we please get this mission over and done with so we can get back to the tower as soon as possible? we'll talk about this later," you told him and you immediately felt him let go of your arm.
"okay, fine! since you wanna get the mission done so bad, let's do it! i'll take the east side of the building and you'll take west. we'll split up so can find the goddamn chip quicker. that's what you want right?" and before you could say anything, the boy was already out of your sight.
you tried to keep your tears at bay but when that was the first huge argument you had with your best friend, it was kind of an impossible task.
so with your weak muscles and a breakdown that caused your headache to get even worse, you slowly trudged the west side of the building, looking for that stupid chip that the team wanted you to find.
you were beginning to think that the only reason the team sent you both here was because to find a tiny little chip in a huge abandoned building was like finding a needle in a haystack; definitely not something adults like them could bear to do.
but it obviously wouldn't have mattered to you and peter since you guys could do it peacefully without being pestered every two minutes about your whereabouts during missions. it obviously wouldn't have mattered to you and peter because if that argument hadn't broken out, you two would be enjoying each others company as you looked for the chip together. you could've been singing and joking around like you two wanted to. but of course that couldn't happen because of you.
you stopped in your tracks when a particularly harsh wave of migraine hit you, causing you to lean against the wall. your vision blurred as you tried hard to clear it but it wouldn't. your throat was dry and it made you think; when was the last time you drank water? you barely had energy in you from skipping meals due to your inability to stomach them.
now you were actually regretting coming on this mission. the last thing you saw was the dirty walls decorated with spray painted graffiti.
-
"oh my god, is this it? KAREN, is this it?" peter asked his built in AI. "yes, peter, this chip matches the picture that mr stark sent you."
"yes!" he cheered, grabbing the chip and storing it safely. "this mission probably would've been a lot more fun if y/n and i weren't fighting. we would've had so much fun. these walls had countless of stuff we could've laughed and joked about." the boy sighed before pressing a finger to his comms.
"hey i uh, i found the chip. where are you? we can go now." he said, waiting for you to respond. but you didn't. "c'mon, y/n, it's been two hours. you can't still be giving me the silent treatment, are you?"
silence.
"look, i'm sorry for lashing out on you but like you said, let's settle this at the tower. tell me where you are. i'll come get you and we can swing back as soon as possible."
silence.
"goddamnit, y/n! answer me!" he huffed out in annoyance. and when he was met with silence once again, he decided to have KAREN do a scan.
"y/n is at the exact same spot you landed on two hours ago." KAREN showed him the scan of the building and highlighted where you guys landed on two hours ago. he felt his heart race when you seemed to be lying on the ground, motionless.
"what's wrong with them, KAREN? why is y/n lying on the floor?" he asked in concern as he sped up to where you were. "y/n seems to have lost consciousness. according to FRIDAY, they have been showing symptoms of a high fever since yesterday."
peter cursed as he ran towards you when he saw you from afar. how could he have not noticed that you were sick? and it wasn't a simple cold but a high fever. now he was the one who felt bad. he should've suspected it from how different you had been acting since yesterday. that must've also been the reason you couldn't hold on to him properly.
he immediately crouched down to you when he reached you, examining your body for any external injuries. he cringed when he saw dried blood on the side of your forehead. you must've scraped it upon impact on the rough concrete.
"how long have they been out?" he asked KAREN as he picked you up. he proceeded to web you onto his body as extra precaution in case he accidentally let go while he swung. "approximately 2 hours, peter. right after you stormed away angrily."
"okay, KAREN, there's no need to make me feel bad. can you call mr stark?" peter asks the AI as he frantically swings you both back to the tower.
"kid? what's up? did you find the chip?" peter could hear the background rock music being lowered down and from the metal on metal clanking, he could tell tony was in his lab.
"i did but can you, uh, please get medic ready?" he was breathless as he kept swinging from building to building all while holding onto your unconscious body. immediately the metal tinkering sounds as well as the music completely stopped.
"what happened, kid? are you alright?"
"i'm okay, mr stark. it's y/n. they fainted." he told the man. "fainted?" the man exclaimed. "what happened? how long were they out?" he urged the boy and peter could hear that he was walking quickly and he assumed it was to get the medic team ready and to inform them of the situation.
"2 hours," he admitted quietly as he landed on the tower's hangar. "i'm here. i'm bringing them down now." he ran down towards the hospital wing with you in his arms.
once he reached down, he was met with the team waiting, worry etched onto their faces. wanda was the first to notice him and peter saw that her eyes were teary. before he could say anything though, the medic team appeared and proceeded to cut off his webs wrapping you to him. they immediately put you onto the stretcher and they wheeled you into the room, peter's gaze lingering on your unconscious self once he took off his mask.
"what happened out there, kid?" sam asked softly when peter slid down against the wall, staring expressionlessly at the wall across of him. "peter."
"we had a fight, okay!" he let out, taking the team by surprise because he was always such a calm and patient boy. they had never seen him this angry or upset since they first met him.
"we were swinging and their grip on me loosened so i got mad at them. but they kept pushing the matter aside like it wasn't a big deal, like it wasn't a life or death situation so i lashed out and decided that we should split up to look for the stupid chip since they wanted to get back to the tower so bad." he explained, eyes red as he had been crying a lot that night.
"i tried apologising like ten minutes after but y/n didn't respond so i assumed they were giving me the silent treatment but i found them unconscious two hours later. i'm so sorry," he apologised, breaking down as he put his face in between his knees to avoid looking at the team. they were probably mad at him for letting this happen to you.
"kid, why are you apologising? it's not your fault,"
he slowly lifted his head up, to meet the kind smiles of the team. "because the only reason y/n probably went on this mission was because they knew how much i wanted this. they put their own well-being aside just to make me happy and all i did was lash out at them."
"how were you supposed to know y/n had a high fever? we all didn't know either. it's not like we spend every waking hour with th—" clint was immediately cut off when nat nudged him with her elbow. peter had an unamused expression on his face. everyone knew you and peter were practically attached at the hip, always having training, and not to mention, school together. you two even spent your free time together.
"what clint means," nat glared at the archer. "is that it doesn't matter how much time or how little time we spend with y/n. that kid is stubborn as a bull. they could literally have been shot and we wouldn't know until we actually see the wound. my point is, y/n's the type that doesn't want to worry us. and you're their best friend, they knew how much you wanted this mission so that's probably why they didn't tell you. you can't blame yourself for this, peter."
"i know but they did this for me and i got mad at them. they're a much better friend to me than i am to them." peter dropped his head back down between his knees.
before any of them could respond, doctor cho approached them. "as you all know, they have a high fever. i suggest you all come visit tomorrow because they most probably won't wake until then."
"okay, will do. thank you, doc." the doctor smiled before excusing herself. peter then got up to go back to his room to wash up after handing tony the chip.
tony could only sigh when he looked at the boy's back that was growing smaller as he walked farther away.
-
the next day, you woke up with a terrible headache but you had gotten used to it from the past two mornings.
"good, you're awake. how do you feel?"
you squinted to get used to the bright lighting and your gaze settled on the female doctor by your bed with a clipboard. "like shit." you croaked out. she chuckled. "that's expected. your fever has calmed down now, do you feel anything else?"
"this headache makes me want to rip my head out and i feel weak." she nodded, jotting down on her clipboard. "okay. that's all i needed to know. you should come to us if you're ever unwell, y/n." you gave her a guilty smile before nodding.
"there's a glass of water on the table if you want. the team wants to see you so i'll send them in?" you nodded and she left to bring them in. you looked at the bedside table, seeing the glass of water she mentioned and only now you realised how dry your throat had been. how you managed to verbally respond to doctor cho, you didn't know.
you slowly reached out for it, struggling because your whole body felt weak. "y/n! stay in bed, i'll get it for you." you heard a stern voice scold and you immediately fell limp on the bed.
before you knew it, steve was already by your side with the glass of water. he held your face in one hand while the other held the glass near your mouth. you smiled gratefully and took your time drinking the water, having been dehydrated before you passed out.
"you're still burning up," he noted, settling down on the chair beside you. the rest sat down too and you couldn't be bothered to ask how the heck were there so many chairs in the room. "how are you feeling, y/n/n?" bruce asked, sitting down across steve.
"like shit." you repeated your answer to doctor cho. before steve could open his mouth to tell you to watch your language, you turned to him with a bored look and a raised eyebrow, causing him to close his mouth immediately. boy, were you scary when you weren't about to take anyone's shit.
"why didn't you tell us you were sick, bubs?" wanda pouted, fixing your hair that you were sure looked like a bird's nest at the moment.
"i didn't want to worry you guys. you're adults who have much more important things to worry about. a kid throwing up and experiencing headaches shouldn't be your priority." you admitted, subconsciously playing with nat's fingers. she had gotten used to you doing that when you were nervous or overwhelmed so she let you.
"what are you talking about, y/n?" she held onto your hand, stoping your movements. "anything related to your safety and well-being is a priority to us. you had us worried sick last night, bub." she looked down at you with soft eyes, releasing her grip on your hands so you could continue playing with her fingers.
"yes, you worried us lots, y/n. wanda would not stop crying last night when she heard what happened." vision said, prompting a smack from said woman and a hushed 'vis!'.
"i'm sorry, guys. i initially was just going to stay in my room until i got better but when peter told me about the mission, i couldn't bear to say no to him. he was so happy about it and i didn't want to disappoint him. and i thought i could take it because it literally was the simplest mission ever. but the breakdown i had after our argument was physically draining and i guess i couldn't take it. i'm sorry. god, i only didn't want to disappoint peter but now i've disappointed you guys too." you bit the inside of your cheek to control your emotions, not wanting to seem even weaker in front of these adult superheroes.
"you didn't disappoint us, y/n/n," bucky started. "you've done so well, you've made us proud and you keep making us proud. we just wish you would tell us when you're sick or you just need someone. you don't have to keep everything to yourself. what are we here for? we love you and we're willing to do anything for you. you're our baby." he ruffled your hair and you give him a tired smile. "i'll keep that in mind."
"do you want anything to eat?" sam asked and you paused, trying to figure out whether you would be able to stomach some food or not. "you know what? i'm gonna go and make you some porridge right now. don't move." he told you, as if you could move with these overprotective heroes surrounding your bed.
almost immediately after, wanda got up too. "i'm going to make sure he doesn't burn the kitchen down." she said, leaving the room after a small peck to the side of your head. vision then left too after wishing you a speedy recovery. only bucky, steve, natasha and bruce were left.
"y/n, you know you can come to us if you're sick, right? i know you and you probably think you're troubling doctor cho if you go to her despite it being her job. but we're family, you can come to us anytime. you always help me when with 'the other guy' and you help everyone with basically anything they could possibly need so why wouldn't we do the same for you? you out of everyone in this tower deserves the most." your eyes watered at his speech. you pouted and looked at him with your doe eyes, making the rest of the team internally coo at how adorable you looked.
"bruce," you lower lip jutted out even more as you opened your arms for a hug which he happily accepted. "hey where's clint, tony and pete?" you asked them once you let go of bruce.
"clint went out to get your favourite smoothie from that place you always talk about even though i told him already that you probably don't want it since you're sick." natasha explained. "aw, i think i'm gonna drink it solely because clint made an effort to get it for me."
"you're too nice, bub. but expect it in an hour or so because i know for sure that idiot somehow got himself lost trying to find that shop." you chuckled at this, leaning back against your propped up pillow. "what about tony and pete?"
"peter feels really bad about this whole situation so tony is trying to cheer him up. wait," steve stopped mid-explanation, turning to the rest. "stark told us to get him when y/n's up..." he trailed off and bucky's eyes widened. "he's gonna kill us for him not being the first person y/n sees when they wake up."
"FRIDAY, inform stark that y/n is awake."
"oh yeah he has an AI why couldn't he just tell the AI to inform him instead of us forgetful humans?" bucky questioned rhetorically and before they knew it, they heard frantic screaming and thudding of footsteps before the door was open.
"my baby! you're awake!" was the first thing you heard when the door slammed open. tony rushed in, pushing bruce away as he immediately pulled you into a hug. "you're still burning up, cupcake. have you had anything to eat yet? drank any water yet? here have some water," he grabbed the glass of water steve helped you drink earlier and did exactly what steve did. you had no choice but to drink.
"sam's making them porridge," nat told tony and he turned to her with an incredulous look. "wanda's helping." she added and he sighed out in relief before turning back to you.
"cupcake, you had us all worried last night. please don't ever do that again, okay?" he said, gently caressing your cheek. you gave him an awkward smile. "where's peter?"
"he's taking a swing. he says it helps clear his mind," tony said. "how are you doing here? nice room? comfy bed?" he pointed to the bed you were on.
"i'd much rather be in my own room, on my own bed." and without a warning, steve already had you in his arms while tony went to go tell doctor cho that you were being moved. the blond super-soldier started walking while natasha walked closely behind, dragging your IV drip along so it doesn't get ripped out of your arm.
when you reached your room, you were gently put down on your bed and steve fixed your blanket so it was covering you. "comfy?" he asked and you nodded with a big smile.
"i have to finish some stuff up down the lab," bruce said and you nodded at him with a pout. "i'll come back sometime later, though. you better be resting up all day." he warned jokingly. he ruffled your hair, planting a kiss on your forehead before leaving your room.
"can you tell pete that i want to see him when he comes back?" you told tony and he immediately sent out a text to your best friend.
after about an hour of just steve, nat and tony entertaining you, sam came back with wanda with the porridge and tony insisted that he feed you or you he wasn't going to let you see peter.
"alright, bub, i think you should really get some rest now. you can barely keep your eyes open," nat says, already getting up with your empty bowl of porridge. "we'll tell spiderboy you're asleep."
"okay," you mumbled, eyes already fluttering shut. you felt every single one of them give you a forehead kiss and then you were out like light.
when you woke up later that day, you felt much better than you did the last time you woke up. you decided that you now had enough energy to take a quick shower so you did. once you were done, you dried your hair while humming to a random song before the door opening interrupted you.
your eyes met with peter's guilty ones. "h–hey, you're awake," he stated and you nodded with a small smile, sitting on your bed and peter doing the same.
"look, y/n/n, i'm really sorry about what happened. i shouldn't have lashed out on you witho—"
"pete," you cut him off. "don't apologise. i'd be mad too if you did something as stupid as that." you reasoned. "yeah but it's not like you did it on purpose! you had a valid reason and i got mad at you for it." he spoke in frustration.
"dude, stop. i'm the one who's supposed to be sorry. i should've just told you i was sick. but i didn't want to upset you because you've been waiting for this for the longest time. but i ruined it for you. i'm sorry, pete." you rested your head on his shoulder and he rested his on top of yours.
"i wanna say that i'm the one at fault but then this conversation won't end until like next week so let's just say we're both at fault, yeah? you need to start telling people what's happening with you and i need to be better at reading you." he said, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you into a hug. you hugged him back. "okay."
the door then opened, revealing bucky with his stupid shit-eating grin and you knew what was coming. you let go of peter and immediately you were lifted off the bed and over bucky's shoulders as he excitedly chanted about team movie night.
the night was spent watching a movie with the team you considered your family and them pampering you even more than they usually did (which, frankly, was still too much) since you were sick.
and right when the movie ended and everyone was preparing to head in, the door to the common room slammed open and a disheveled clint entered, holding a single cup of smoothie.
"got your smoothie, y/n/n!"
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