#ask intp

[oiblackestsheep]

I made another silly thing bc it made me laugh

[mistype360]

Hi!!! I have this character that i am sure is an 8 but it's a little hard to decide his wing, tritype and instinctual variants stacking. Do u have something that could help me?

I apologize for the bother and have a nice day/night 🌷

so you're an enneagram 8...

determining your wings

8w7:

usually estps and estjs

more excitable/excited, slightly more impulsive

"self-destructive"

more "rebellious" and moves against authority

overestimate themselves often

punches first

8w9:

usually istp's or esfp's

calmer, mellowed, "controlled" anger

hides and isolates when stressed (not anger), disengages with the world, "numbs" themself

doesn't fight until provoked

instinctual variants of an e8

sx8: loves rebelling the most, attention seeking, often use relationships to boost self-esteem, strongly opinionated about others close to them, "intense" and passionate (this is a big part of sx8's), tendency to be unfiltered, emotions tend to be displayed more obvious, often mistaken for sx 4's

so8: rebels most against social norms, most likely to disregard self, hyperaware of injustices occurring around themselves, often holds onto concepts of betrayal and sacrifice, often mistaken for enneagram types (1,9, or 2), may "test" those around them, using their aggression to protect others

sp8: often mistaken for enneagram 5's, very materialistic, often perceives the world as "harsh" or "ruthless," withdrawn and quiet, most afraid of being taken advantage of, cares about people close to themselves very strongly, may be seemingly unempathetic

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: INTP here. I have read through your blog and it has helped me a lot on reflecting myself and resolving my past issues. I do have one concern that I hope you can address. I tend to realize I mindread a lot as per your blog description (I’ve read through the entire tag), and am actively trying to prevent judging and assuming people’s intention too early/quickly.

However, I cannot tell the difference sometimes between when I understand a person well, vs when I mindread. I want to try to understand people so I can interact with them better. I also have past experiences with being misunderstood before and want to try to give everyone a chance. I believe this is due to inferior Fe issues along with my ego thinking that I am kind. I also want to believe that I understand people, because I can tell if someone is a red flag but maybe that does not have to do with understanding people.

I came up with some solutions such as paying attention and communicating to other people to clear up misunderstandings, but even then people tend to be indirect in what they say and it turns out they are hurt by what I said or secretly angry at me for a while (I did not realize this until they are actually angry at me).

From writing this, I do notice my contradiction: how would people be hurt/angry at me if I “supposedly” treat them right? I admit that I am wrong for doing so, that I have hurt them, and I hope to address my ego in order to be better as a person for myself and other people around me.

I mindread because I am afraid of people potencially being angry/hurt because of me, even when that did not happen, because my social skills are not that well developed, but I acknowledge there might be more underlying reasons to this that I am not fully aware of.

I noticed that you have great perpection skills when understanding people, and I would like to learn the positive aspects. If possible, can you help shine a light on how I should start? Plus, if you can advise me why why people are indirect when communicating that would be great because I am almost always direct in my communication and do not fully understand the nuances of social context, and I wish to understand and treat other people better

--------------------

Socializing and communication are complex topics, so there's a lot to unpack in your question.

(1) Mindreading: Ne development should help with the mindreading problem. Healthy Ti doms have a reputation for being sharp and adaptable because i) dominant Ti only accepts factual information and rises to the challenge of systematizing it for effective judgment/decisions, and ii) the auxiliary function actively monitors and processes any and all changes in factual information.

But when functions remain underdeveloped, Ti-Si always gets stuck working with a very limited and unchanging set of facts, and Ne-Fe is too small in scope to alert you to other possible ways of looking at situations, ways that might get you closer to the truth.

In other words, healthy INTPs always leave room for error. They proceed through life confidently based on the facts they have on hand but always with the awareness that knowledge is provisional and might need to be updated at a later date. They never believe that they know everything, they always keep themselves open to more information, and they take the extra step to gather information that might contradict or disprove what they already know.

However, being P, the tendency to "prospect" for information can go awry when Ne is unhealthy enough to give rise to Ti-Si loop. The above healthy qualities I just listed can easily turn negative and express hidden ego issues, e.g., by making you feel insecure in not knowing, anxious about getting blindsided, and obsessive-compulsive in needing to know more (due to having no clear goal, unrealistic goals, or constantly moving the goalposts).

Contrasting healthy and unhealthy Ne expression, what is the lesson? If you hope to be a healthy INTP, you have to learn how to sit comfortably in ambiguity and uncertainty. If you hope to be a mature INTP, you have to love a challenge and go the extra mile to welcome and embrace ambiguity and uncertainty as vehicles for learning and growing into a more intelligent person.

(2) Theory of Mind: How does the above apply to social life? Relationships are full of ambiguity and uncertainty, are they not? Sure, in theory, solving relationship problems should be a simple matter of good communication and clearing up misunderstandings.

However, in reality, good communication is very hard to come by. Why? Because… people. Human psychology is messy AF. People contain multitudes, and in some cases, multitudes of contradictions. They often don't know themselves well enough to know what they really need/want/like, let alone communicate these things clearly to another person.

What's worse, what people think they know about themselves can sometimes be false, which leads them in all sorts of wrong directions. You brought up a good example of thinking that you are a kind person, yet you keep getting feedback to indicate that you aren't as kind as you believe. Human perception can be very flawed, so how you see yourself and others can get very distorted. This raises the question of how to navigate the messiness.

The first step is to see and accept people as what they really are (Ti). Humans are complicated. They are not programmed or programmable machines. They can want contradictory things. They can change their mind on a whim. They can say one thing and do another. They can believe wholeheartedly in complete falsehoods. They are capable of reprehensible acts. They can also be resilient, steadfast, honest, loyal, noble, passionate, inspired, innovative, determined, dedicated, empathetic, loving, and altruistic. If humans weren't so complicated, social life would be terribly boring.

If you really want to understand people better, you have to exercise better imagination (Ne) and recognize the full scope of their potential, both positive and negative. When you have a very full view of humans, you'll be quicker to recognize the truth of each individual. But when you have a very small and limited view of humans, you'll find yourself constantly confused or blindsided by their behavior.

Some of this fuller view simply comes with life experience, but the majority of it should come from making an effort to expose yourself to different kinds of people and creating opportunities to expand your understanding of human nature.

(3) Ego Development: What does this mean for improving your social skills? Firstly, on your part, you have to see and acknowledge your own complexity. One reason I emphasize the importance of self-awareness is that, without it, you'll never come to see or appreciate your own complexity.

The way you view yourself at age 20 will be very different than age 40. It's not necessarily because you've changed a whole lot in that time, in fact, most people don't change very much throughout life, objectively speaking. What really happens is that you gradually learn more and more about who you really are over time, and that changes your self-perception.

When you're young, ego development is still in early stages, which means the ego is still in a fragile state. As you build a personal identity, you get heavily invested in seeing yourself a certain way, and it can hurt the ego when that self-image gets contradicted. This leads people to become defensive of their self-image and avoid situations that disturb it.

What they have yet to realize is that taking down the false self-image is precisely how one gets closer to knowing the truth of oneself. One must surrender to the pain of that takedown in order to grow. Are you willing to surrender to the pain of realizing that you are not the person you've always believed yourself to be, that you're possibly a much worse person than you thought?

Until you can recognize the truth of your own complex humanity and the full scope of your own positive and negative potential, you will always struggle to understand others, because it is likely that you will remain stuck in a state of projection. Projection means that your perception of others is always tainted by your own unconscious ego issues, i.e., you don't see the world as it is but as you are.

For example, you are a person who prefers to communicate directly, and this unconsciously sets up an expectation that others should do it too or be capable of doing it. Whenever others prove to be very different from you, you get confused or flustered. Your mind isn't open enough to gather the whole truth about people when your first instinct is to assume people are or should be just like you.

Secondly, on the part of the relationship, you have to acknowledge the reality that, at this moment, not everyone is within your capability to understand and is therefore not going to be very compatible with you. There's a reason why we seem to click with some people better than others. While relationships do require work to maintain, there's a certain point at which the expenditure of effort starts to bring diminishing returns. At that point, it might be time to throw in the towel and admit that the relationship isn't going to work in its current manifestation.

For example, if you're looking for someone who is capable of having a mature, honest, and authentic discussion about relationship issues, then you have to weed out the people who haven't yet developed that capability. It's not about being mean or critical; it's about recognizing the facts of what someone can or can't do and making a smart choice about whether it's possible to have a healthy relationship with them.

(4) Exercising Good Judgment: Making evaluations of people and relationships isn't easy because there are a variety of factors to take into consideration. One problem Ti doms often run into is that they don't take enough factors into consideration (inferior Fe), i.e., they are too undiscerning and often just passively take whatever relationships come their way.

When you approach relationships too abstractly or intellectually or flexibly, you can easily fall into the trap of thinking that any relationship can work in theory, if only you did this or they did that. In reality though, the effort it would take to implement those changes wouldn't be worth it due to diminishing returns, or those changes are simply infeasible (and you might slowly destroy yourself or the relationship by trying to force the change).

An important step in acknowledging your own complex humanity is to admit that you have needs, preferences, and desires... AND be okay with them changing over time, as you learn more about yourself. Needs, preferences, and desires should be informing you of what kind of person is best suited to being your friend or partner.

There are billions of people in this world. If you want a positive, enriching, and fulfilling social life, you have to be proactive and selective in finding the right people for you to keep company with. There are only a few basic criteria that need to be present in every relationship, such as: kindness, trust, empathy, etc. But what about the other qualities of the person? What does your ideal friend/partner look like?

(5) Navigating Conflict: An important aspect of having good social skills is accepting the fact that conflict is necessary for relationships to grow over time. A relationship without disagreements and problems isn't a real relationship. The question is whether the two people involved are: i) committed enough to the relationship to make things better, ii) equipped with the relationship skills required to resolve problems properly, and iii) on the same page and want the same things out of the relationship.

To the first point, not everyone you meet will be as committed as you, so you have to use your best judgment about whether it's worthwhile to continue with them. Also, reflect on how committed you are to a relationship and whether it is accurately reflected in your everyday behavior. Remember that Fe is an extraverted function that requires taking action and cannot only be about empty words or silent intentions.

To the second point, as long as both individuals are willing to learn and improve their relationship skills, there will continue to be hope for the relationship to get better. Although, keep in mind that the learning process isn't always linear and smooth. There will inevitably be steps forwards and backwards.

To the third point, you can discuss with people what they want out of the relationship, what their goals are, or what they hope the relationship can become in the future. A relationship has a greater chance of success when there is agreement about which direction to go. If people refuse such discussions or don't take them seriously, then it casts serious doubt over their commitment, which circles back to the first point.

It sounds like you are motivated to improve your social skills. If people aren't being honest with you, you have to get to the bottom of why. Perhaps the problem lies mainly in you not really hearing what people need from you because you keep failing to address the feelings they are communicating, which is a common communication problem. If that's the case, you need to work on your listening skills and communication skills in general. Perhaps the problem lies mainly in the other person not being able to express themselves honestly for whatever reason. Or it could be a combination of the two.

The best you can do is welcome people to be honest with you, by guaranteeing to them that you can handle the truth and encouraging them to speak directly. However, you have no control over whether they can do it. It's their issue to deal with and there's no forcing it.

[yandere-romanticaa]

Could you do INTP for twisted wonderland?

masterlist.

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓:

𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒:

𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐁𝐋𝐄:

[call-me-chips]

i love how the only asks you knew how to react to were the ones where someone needed advice on how to get a girlfriend and the one where the person was talking about how their family couldn’t read their emotions right (btw if that anon is reading this i hope you’re doing better 🙏)

Lmao

I guess if my mind deems the situation serious enough, it'll react x,D

But in all seriousness, it kinda makes sense that I can "react" to those two:

For the girlfriend one, they were asking for advice on how to ask someone out, but I've never done that, so I wasn't much help there. But they did mention that they were really anxious about it, which is something I could relate to and provide some advice for

And for the uncaring family one, I deal with a very similar situation regularly, so I could easily give my thoughts and assure them that there wasn't something wrong with them and that they weren't in the wrong at all

So basically, I'm bad with feelings and raw reactions, but I'm good with thought out advice on topics I'm familiar with and analyzing situations

(Also if that anon is reading this, I also hope you're doing better <3)

[randomfoggytiger]

"Mulder typifies this to its fullest from the beginning and spends the rest of the series wading through the weeds of Scully’s acquired facts to find the most accurate conclusion–which is why he needs her Te data and she needs his Ti hero. A truly symbiotic relationship (+ another analysis in future~.)"

did you write this one 👀

Wait, did I?

Wait, I don't think so. Huh.

*adding that to my expanding list of ideas*

But, in short: Ti is Thinking Introverted, so it digs deep to make sense of something unexplainable (or not yet explained.) It's an individual thought process divorced from relying on outside opinions, looking only to facts and data when their idea has been fully formulated and is ready to be tested, etc.

Te is Thinking Extroverted, meaning it outsources to others for data, facts, etc. They are the data crunchers, taking Ti Users ideas and churning through mounds and mounds of research (etc.) to support or debunk their theory.

They also compliment each others' weaknesses: Ti is so focused on internalized, personal thought that it can become stale and one-sided if it cuts out the bigger picture or broader scope others have to provide (i.e. Mulder wanting to run off into the woods after the Mothmen before Scully rationalizes to him about water and needing help.) Te is so focused on what is proven or, worse, what others have agreed is fact regardless of new and better ideas that it can get caught in intellectual bubbles where everyone only ever agrees with each other (the temptation of Squeeze, for instance.)

Further: Mulder's Hero is Ti (INTP) whereas Scully's Te isn't hers (it's in her second "Parent" slot); meaning, while Mulder is driven by his internalized "puzzle solving", Scully is not driven nor does she define herself by Te. She defines herself by Si (Sensing Introverted), which is all about duty, honor, tradition, etc. (her "Starbuck" side.) It gives both of them leeway to bat theories at each other without Scully feeling like SHE is being called into question instead of her ideas and without Mulder feeling like HE is being ridiculed for not being in agreement with everyone else.

As a side note: you know who IS Te Hero? Her father. And Scully's Si Hero naturally wants to make him proud, which is why, for so long, she fell into that Te role of "facts first! climb the ranks! medical school!" when the truth was, she wasn't made happy by advancement, achievement, etc. Sure, it made her feel like she made a difference (and tapped into her "VIP" aspect of being an ISTJ), but it wasn't her. That was her father.

Hope the grammar was alright, running on half capacity~. :DDD

[notanotherinfjblog]

Inferior Fe

@majikal137 I'm going to answer your question on this old post here for simplicity reasons:

Hi. As a Fe aux user, how do you think about behaviors of Fe inferior?

I'm actually very familiar with behaviours of inferior Fe since my father is an INTP and my stepfather an ISTP, and it's quite interesting actually. Fe is by far the most obvious function in people, regardless of its position in the functions stack. It always shines through, even in IxTPs. They can be quite good at analysing and understanding other people through an Fe lens, though ISTPs tend to be a lot better at that than INTPs in my experience, probably due to being more observant of other people thanks to their Se, while INTPs prefer to get lost inside their own Ne-wired minds. Still, IxTPs usually display the same viewpoints on Fe politeness as FJs, just in a more chill way (such as we're here as a group, not as individuals, or I don't like you, but I will be polite and civil, or a general aversion against conflict). And they usually understand Fe behaviour in FJs without any issues, even when they may think that the FJ is needlessly exaggerating something. They get it. What they don't get is how to talk to people. I don't mean this in a mean way, but I think it's quite funny how IxTPs understand high Fe, but don't understand why their own behaviour can make FJs mad. They aren't as willing to go with the flow and compromise as FJs are and just stubbornly do their own thing instead. They don't emote like FJs do and they don't freely express their emotions, typically because they are not in touch with them at all. You as an outside person are often more likely to know how an IxTP is feeling than the IxTP themselves. My INTP dad can stomp his foot and angrily mutter to himself and slam doors etc. and then be confused when other people assume that he's angry. He doesn't know. He wasn't aware. It has to be brought to his attention (which is also a very Fe thing: you need to see yourself through other people's eyes). But the thing is, high Fe wants emotions from other people. My ESFJ mother still talks about that time when we were on holiday and reached the top of a mountain and how she could have shouted out into the world how beautiful the view is and how happy she is to be there with all of us. Meanwhile my INTP dad went "Yeah. It looks nice." Twenty years later and my mother still says she could have killed him right then and there. She wanted him to join her in her euphoria. She wanted to ride that feeling with someone. That's what high Fe is all about. Connecting emotionally. Melting into one another, becoming one. But you can't tickle emotional highs and lows out of an IxTP. They are not cold or unfeeling. They just aren't aware. You can burst into tears in front of them and they will have no idea what is happening and why or what to say, but they will simply go for a warm hug and hope that's enough (for me, it always was). It's a constant confusion, but they get the gist. That's the thing with our inferior functions: they make sense to us when we see them in higher positions in other people. They don't feel foreign. They're not necessarily something we particularly care about, but they don't feel alien to us. Using them just feels a bit like a wet piece of soap that's slipping through your fingers. It's tangible. You know its use, its purpose, you know how it works in theory. You're just really bad at it. That's how I feel about inferior Fe behaviours. Seeing it in action in IxTPs feels like listening to a twelve-year-old explaining astrophysics to me.

[mbti-enemies]

As an INTJ female, I have seen so many ENFJ male and INTJ female as couples in some TV series or dramas and their relationship does seems really... Interesting.

Also, have seen some INFJ males in dramas and the recent one whom i got a crush on is Souta from Suzume. It's an anime movie.

INTP's are also have an interesting personalty like most of the INTP male characters in animes are so funny and ...cute...? I mean they have their own kind of charm to them.

Sadly, never met any of these types in real life. I have some INFJ female friends but yeah. It's just that.

thanks for sharing anon <3 i haven't really noticed the enfj x intj trend but i can see it being a trope but i wouldn't think its the most compatible irl hmm. hear hear on the intp charm. you are so right to be crushing on an infj btw

[mitski-slope]

Scruffing you

I will indoctrinate you into hockey as well I swear to FUCKING GOD

LOOK UP BRAD MARCHAND PLEASE I BEG OF YOU!!! LOOK UP BRAD MARCHAND LICKING AND KISSING COMPILATION!! OBAMA CALLED HIM A LITTLE BALL OF HATE!! HE INHERITED THE NICKNAME “THE RAT”!!!! HE KISSED HIS OLD TEAMMATE WHO HE HAD MATCHING NUMBERS WITH (He’s 63 and Bergeron is 37 WHICH ADD UP TO FUCKING 100!!!!) ON THE FUCKING MOUTH DURING ANOTHER TEAMMATES WEDDING!! AND BEFORE THAT THEY DID A WHOLE ASS CHOREOGRAPHED DANCE!!! PLEASE I PLEAD OF YOU!!! HE STOLE A WHOLE PLAYER!! HE FUMKIN SCRUFFED HIMB!!! POOR BABY BEDSY GOT SCRUFFED BY THE RAT!!! ALSO LOOK UP CONNOR BEDARD PLEASE!! BROSKI KEEPS GETTING MANHANDLED AND LAUNCHED AND TOSSED AND THROWN AROUND!!! HE WAS THE NUMBER ONE DRAFT PICK THIS SEASON!!!! HE HAS THE WEIGHT OF TAKING A MEDIOCRE TEAM ALL THE WAY TO THE STANLEY CUP ON HIS SHOULDERS!! HES JUST A LITTLE GUY AND THEY EXPECT HIM TO FUCKING OUT SCORE WAYNE GRETZKY!!!! LOOK UP BEST ALLY TRAVIS DERMOTT PLEASE!!! I WAS HIS AND THE YOTES FAN BEFORE AND EVEN MORESO NOW!! HE GOT THE PRIDE TAPE BAN RESERVED!! HES JUST A NORMAL DUDE!!! HES NOT A SUPERSTAR!!!! HES JUST A BROSKI!!! BUT HE DID IT BY HIMSELF!!!!! PLEASE POOKIE COOKIE SNOOKUM KITTEN WHISKERS SWEETIE PIE SUGARPLUM HONEY BUTTERCUP BEAR!!! GET INVESTED IN A TEAM!!! JUST NOT THE MAPLE LEAFS!!!!!! PLEASE PHROG I BEG!!! I BEGGETH ON MY KNEES!!! I AM GIVING PUPPY EYES AND HEAD TILT!!! SPARKLY WET SOPPING EYES!!!!!!

hi marcy

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Have you ever taken the MBTI test thingie? I know it has been debunked multiple times, but its always made sense to me. And I'm kindaaa curious !!

Hey!

yes I did (multiple times)

I even had a minor hyperfixentaition on it a while back

on the test I got INTP which is Ti Ne Si Fe

i think it fits? I dont think I fit the stereotype, really and the I &E switch often ngl but I think i fit the way of thinking of it for the most part.

The more I looked into it I found more inconsistencies and shit but I in like it because it’s fun!

Someone once told me MBTI is like Zodiac signs but for smart people.

I really like the concept of it and the different interpretations.

I had a big fixation it and still like it so it’s really nice you asked and to answer !

I hope you have a good day<3

[asclepias-lavendula-nyctanthes]

Where did you get the idea for your tag "#light magnetic tape celluloid and silver nitrate", if you don't mind me asking? It's intriguingly specific 👀

since I tag art #scribbles and paint splatters I wanted something along the same lines of "what it's made of" for photos.

A film type camera uses magnetic tape made of celluloid and silver nitrate (as well as some other stuff), which develops an image when exposed to light, so i played around with the names of different components until I found ones that I thought sounded nice together.

[oiblackestsheep]

MBTI Observations 2: Observe Harder

○ xxTPs often make great teachers because their high Ti lends itself useful to explaining something in logical ways, and their lower Fe (if developed enough) can be used to figure out what their student doesn't understand, and how they might need the information rephrased so that it is easier to understand.

● ExxJs are REALLY good at predicting the endings of movies or shows - probably something to do with their dominant function being an objective judging function (Fe or Te), making it easy to spot the purpose of a story, and the easiest way to convey the message through the climax & resolution.

□ INxJs often get (reasonable) flack for not having very good kinesthetic abilities, but they often have approximately one (1) sensory ability that comes super naturally because the sheer willpower of dom Ni overrides the flaws of inferior Se. A common example I see is always knowing where the car is parked, even if they don't consciously remember or know where it is. They borderline let their eyes roll into the back of their head and their dom Ni leads them to the car's exact location in a fashion that is technically unexplainable.

■ Every INFP is "just a girl" (even if they aren't. they are.)

♤ ISxPs listen to conversations around them and passively choose not to speak because they are simply not compelled to do so. ISxJs listen to conversations around them and actively choose not to speak because they've heard enough to decide it's not worth it.

[geminison]

...that's an interesting squad

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hello mbti-notes. Happy holiday and new year. Hope this year is a better year. INTP here. My question is about being stuck in Si loop. I can't seem to be able to get out of it. And it's been a (long) while.

When I was a teenager, I wanted to become an adult, I wanted to get strong, successful, independent, more capable, but now I resent it. There are so many unexpected and unwanted changes and I just can't get used to them. When I look at my timeline, and some other people's timelines, I think to myself that despite all the progresses in science and tech, and all the claims that life has become easier and more convenient, life quality is getting worse.

People around me are getting older, weaker, less beautiful, less capable, needier, more bitter. They age, lose their youth privilege, lose their health, motivation, opportunities, and they keep having more regrets and bad memories, more setbacks, more deaths, more divorces, more lost opportunities than before. Interpersonal and family relationships are getting more awkward and more complicated, people are getting more bitter, colder and more distant, less forgiving, less open, less supportive, more judgemental.

Maybe it's what adulthood has always been for everyone. Maybe it's because of tech and social media. While tech is not all bad and has pros and cons, I can't ignore the cons. Most people around me have become adapted or even somewhat addicted to tech, social media or mobile gaming and seem to enjoy them. They spend more time thinking about their online image or other people's online lives, than building actual memories or doing actual stuffs for the sakes of it. Maybe I'm wrong, but things are getting more complicated. Al and Social media are getting integrated in every aspect of our lives. We have less privacy.

I had tough childhood and teenage years, but all of this makes me think that things were simpler and somewhat better when I was a teenager. My loved ones were younger, healthier, more capable, more hopeful, more positive and forgiving, with better interpersonal and social lives, more friends, more activities, more possibilities and less physical or behavioral issues and less social media influences.

And society seemed more simple, easier, kinder, less complex, more forgiving, less sensitive, more supportive and inclusive.

Plus, I myself was mentally stronger, a bit more self-confident, more hopeful, cheerful, curious, more motivated and less sensitive.

I could never predict these things back then as a teenager. But as I see these patterns over time, I think life, or at least my life is getting worse and worse and more complicated with time. To the point that I have lost my interest in life, live in the state of cynicism, numbness and limbo, and often engage in Si, nostalgia and regressing back to my teenage years in order to seek guidance or calmness.

[(Please delete the following paragraph if it gets your blog in trouble) :

I'm still curious about the universe, cultures and some other subjects. But overall, I have lost my interest in life and living. To the point that I chronically wish there could be a quit button (even when I sleep). I have tried most things, even antidepressants, but they don't seem to make a difference. It makes me think it is not major depression, but realism, or a type of depression related to life situation and unhealthy Si loop. I can see that some aspects of my life are genuinely better now, but that doesn't seem to be enough to improve my mental state.

I keep these thought patterns internal and don't share it with other people, in order to not make them concerned or more depressed, but I sometimes wonder why they rarely think or care about these obvious issues and how they haven't lost interest in living.]

I seem to be stuck in a Si loop. I have lost care for present, yearning and optimism for future, and keep regressing back to past, in order to experience calmness and simplicity.

I have tried to focus on my Ne, my interests and curiousities, in order to bring my past self back, but even when I have the mental and physical energy for that, it only seems to work temporarily and these negative thoughts keep getting triggered and coming back.

How do I stop myself and force myself out of Si loop when I'm somewhat addicted to it?

---------------------

There are two aspects to this problem that you seem to be overlooking:

(1) The key concept comes in the last sentence you wrote, about being "addicted". People opt to stay in tertiary loop or maintain an addiction because they get some kind of "benefit" from it that they aren't willing to relinquish. Just as a drug addict is aware of the health risks but isn't willing to relinquish the highs, as long as you keep believing that the "benefit" is worth the suffering, then change isn't going to happen, is it?

What "benefits" do people get from tertiary loop? Generally speaking, many possible things, including but not limited to:

safety from perceived threats

feelings of comfort or relief (from negative feelings/emotions)

escape from problems and demands for change

"evidence" to confirm underlying biases and prejudices

reinforcement of their negative attitude

protection for distorted, illusory, or grandiose beliefs

a sense of power or control (to cover up low self-esteem)

a sense of dominance or superiority (to cover up low self-worth)

rationalizations for unethical or destructive behavior

ways to excuse or justify repeated mistakes and failures

In short, tertiary loop is an ego defense mechanism. Ego defense mechanisms allow people to avoid facing up to deep psychological problems, usually through some form of distraction, deflection, deferral, or denial.

(2) The second aspect of the problem follows from the first. When people use defense mechanisms to avoid confronting psychological problems, it makes them unable to see just how wrong their thinking is, which allows them to reside in a mental space where they never have to admit they're wrong. This is soothing to the ego. It feels good to always be right, doesn't it? If you really want to exit tertiary loop, the first step is to recognize that there's something very wrong with your thinking.

Notice how your question is about psychology yet you go off on many tangents about society, a mythological past, social media, tech, AI, etc etc? While it's true that those things do have an influence over people, at the end of the day, aren't YOU the one who makes the final decisions about your own life?

It seems you want to be able to claim that some "thing" - something that is not you - is "causing" you to be unhappy. But isn't the truth of the matter more like you are unhappy because you don't care enough about yourself and your life to improve it? And even in the rare event that you feel motivated to improve your life, is it not true that your own lack of imagination continually holds you back?

When you look into the world and judge the people around you and how they live their lives, what you're really doing is looking for inspiration about how you should live yours? And when you don't get inspired, you denounce the world as empty or meaningless? You talk about how the world was "better before", when you were younger, but isn't that because you were new and had a lot to learn, so the world was full of wonder and, therefore, felt wonderful to you? What if you were only born five years ago?

What this shows you is that the problem lies mainly in your own perception - not the world out there. You've essentially become jaded because your view of the world was far too naive and simplistic to begin with. Every time "reality" turned out to be different than what you expected, you fixated on the disappointments and lost more and more of your hopeful attitude. Instead of rising to the occasion to understand complexity and adapt to reality, you rejected reality. And now you're stuck on an island of your own making.

Yes, factually, one cannot deny that there are lots of problems in this world, and they do sometimes constrain us. However, the difference between healthy vs unhealthy NPs is that healthy NPs see problems as opportunities. In other words, it is precisely because we are constantly being challenged by problems that human beings have many chances to exercise ingenuity and learn, improve, grow, mature, and evolve over time. From this perspective, problems ought to be accepted and treated as necessary for living a full life.

You believe "reality" or "society" are bad things that beat people down. You're looking for a scapegoat, so you point your finger and blame whatever for your unhappiness. But the problem largely lies within you and your denial of reality. When human beings get offended by problems and recoil from them, they trap themselves in a mental corner, and problems remain unresolved. As a result, they stop learning, improving, growing, maturing, and evolving - they stop living. From this perspective, wishing for a problem-free life is like wishing for spiritual death.

If you want to call yourself a rational person, you must face up to the facts of life. The facts of life include pain and suffering. And pain and suffering serve a purpose to teach you lessons and help you become the person you're meant to be. If you truly want to change your life, then you have to face up to and take responsibility for the pain and suffering you feel, rather than deflect and blame. Listen to pain carefully because it will tell you exactly what needs to change. And it is your job to make the necessary changes for your own well-being.

Your question is about psychology, yet you talk all around the most important aspects of psychological well-being rather than confronting them directly: feelings and emotions. If you were to read what you wrote as an objective third party, you might be able to see just how alienated and lonely the author really is.

Alienation and loneliness are painful emotions, aren't they? At least, they should be. Do you really allow yourself to feel them, or do you instantly deflect? In order to solve a problem, you first have to be aware of it. These emotions are important because they make you aware of a serious problem of not having a place in the world, of not mattering, of not belonging anywhere.

Every person is a unique individual, so we all have a unique path to take for carving out a space in society. It used to be that your place was forced upon you through family or society. People nowadays have more freedom to choose, so in that way, we are better than the past. Instead of appreciating the freedom and making full use of it, you expect what, for everything in life to just magically fall into place for you? Freedom comes with the responsibility to wield it wisely.

If you want to feel like you matter, that the world matters, that life matters, then you have to DO things that matter in the world. Mattering is not an abstract concept. It is found in the concrete ways through which you relate to the world. But it sounds like you don't do much relating to the world other than spectating and judging it from a distance? Your actions won't amount to much as long as your vision doesn't stretch far enough beyond your own ego.

Things seem different nowadays because they are. Nowadays, people's knowledge of the world is too often secondhand. Excessive consumption of trash media really distorts your perspective and confines your imagination. You are right to indict it, but what are you going to do about it? Couldn't you, at any point, choose differently rather than behave helplessly? Couldn't you put down the devices and go spend more time living a real life in the flesh-and-blood world?

If you choose not to, despite knowing that you should, then it is a problem of underdeveloped Ne+Fe. Don't you find it odd that there are millions of people in this world doing fascinating things that really matter, but you seem to fixate only on the people doing small things you don't like? Doesn't this fixation conveniently confirm your faulty belief that there's nothing good out there for you?

Ultimately, whether or not other people are finding meaning in their activities is their business and irrelevant to your journey, so rambling about it is a pointless distraction. Nobody is forcing you to copy anyone. Your job is to explore and discover a path that suits your unique needs.

Would you rather waste time basking in your critical judgments of the world's problems, or would you rather spend that time actually being out in the world finding opportunities to put yourself to good use in addressing those problems? In other words, do you choose the "benefits" of loop and grip, or do you choose to do the difficult work of forging a real connection to the world? You claim to have done some Ne work, but did it connect you to the world in any substantial way? If not, you've not been on the right track.

[yandere-romanticaa]

Can you do Haikyuu x INTP

masterlist.

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓:

𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒:

𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐁𝐋𝐄:

[ninja-grace]

I just noticed that we have the same mtbi type! (⁠^⁠^⁠)

Mill

OH SHIT AYYYYYYY TWINNING