#ask intp

[oiblackestsheep]

I made another silly thing bc it made me laugh

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: INTP here. I have read through your blog and it has helped me a lot on reflecting myself and resolving my past issues. I do have one concern that I hope you can address. I tend to realize I mindread a lot as per your blog description (I’ve read through the entire tag), and am actively trying to prevent judging and assuming people’s intention too early/quickly.

However, I cannot tell the difference sometimes between when I understand a person well, vs when I mindread. I want to try to understand people so I can interact with them better. I also have past experiences with being misunderstood before and want to try to give everyone a chance. I believe this is due to inferior Fe issues along with my ego thinking that I am kind. I also want to believe that I understand people, because I can tell if someone is a red flag but maybe that does not have to do with understanding people.

I came up with some solutions such as paying attention and communicating to other people to clear up misunderstandings, but even then people tend to be indirect in what they say and it turns out they are hurt by what I said or secretly angry at me for a while (I did not realize this until they are actually angry at me).

From writing this, I do notice my contradiction: how would people be hurt/angry at me if I “supposedly” treat them right? I admit that I am wrong for doing so, that I have hurt them, and I hope to address my ego in order to be better as a person for myself and other people around me.

I mindread because I am afraid of people potencially being angry/hurt because of me, even when that did not happen, because my social skills are not that well developed, but I acknowledge there might be more underlying reasons to this that I am not fully aware of.

I noticed that you have great perpection skills when understanding people, and I would like to learn the positive aspects. If possible, can you help shine a light on how I should start? Plus, if you can advise me why why people are indirect when communicating that would be great because I am almost always direct in my communication and do not fully understand the nuances of social context, and I wish to understand and treat other people better

--------------------

Socializing and communication are complex topics, so there's a lot to unpack in your question.

(1) Mindreading: Ne development should help with the mindreading problem. Healthy Ti doms have a reputation for being sharp and adaptable because i) dominant Ti only accepts factual information and rises to the challenge of systematizing it for effective judgment/decisions, and ii) the auxiliary function actively monitors and processes any and all changes in factual information.

But when functions remain underdeveloped, Ti-Si always gets stuck working with a very limited and unchanging set of facts, and Ne-Fe is too small in scope to alert you to other possible ways of looking at situations, ways that might get you closer to the truth.

In other words, healthy INTPs always leave room for error. They proceed through life confidently based on the facts they have on hand but always with the awareness that knowledge is provisional and might need to be updated at a later date. They never believe that they know everything, they always keep themselves open to more information, and they take the extra step to gather information that might contradict or disprove what they already know.

However, being P, the tendency to "prospect" for information can go awry when Ne is unhealthy enough to give rise to Ti-Si loop. The above healthy qualities I just listed can easily turn negative and express hidden ego issues, e.g., by making you feel insecure in not knowing, anxious about getting blindsided, and obsessive-compulsive in needing to know more (due to having no clear goal, unrealistic goals, or constantly moving the goalposts).

Contrasting healthy and unhealthy Ne expression, what is the lesson? If you hope to be a healthy INTP, you have to learn how to sit comfortably in ambiguity and uncertainty. If you hope to be a mature INTP, you have to love a challenge and go the extra mile to welcome and embrace ambiguity and uncertainty as vehicles for learning and growing into a more intelligent person.

(2) Theory of Mind: How does the above apply to social life? Relationships are full of ambiguity and uncertainty, are they not? Sure, in theory, solving relationship problems should be a simple matter of good communication and clearing up misunderstandings.

However, in reality, good communication is very hard to come by. Why? Because… people. Human psychology is messy AF. People contain multitudes, and in some cases, multitudes of contradictions. They often don't know themselves well enough to know what they really need/want/like, let alone communicate these things clearly to another person.

What's worse, what people think they know about themselves can sometimes be false, which leads them in all sorts of wrong directions. You brought up a good example of thinking that you are a kind person, yet you keep getting feedback to indicate that you aren't as kind as you believe. Human perception can be very flawed, so how you see yourself and others can get very distorted. This raises the question of how to navigate the messiness.

The first step is to see and accept people as what they really are (Ti). Humans are complicated. They are not programmed or programmable machines. They can want contradictory things. They can change their mind on a whim. They can say one thing and do another. They can believe wholeheartedly in complete falsehoods. They are capable of reprehensible acts. They can also be resilient, steadfast, honest, loyal, noble, passionate, inspired, innovative, determined, dedicated, empathetic, loving, and altruistic. If humans weren't so complicated, social life would be terribly boring.

If you really want to understand people better, you have to exercise better imagination (Ne) and recognize the full scope of their potential, both positive and negative. When you have a very full view of humans, you'll be quicker to recognize the truth of each individual. But when you have a very small and limited view of humans, you'll find yourself constantly confused or blindsided by their behavior.

Some of this fuller view simply comes with life experience, but the majority of it should come from making an effort to expose yourself to different kinds of people and creating opportunities to expand your understanding of human nature.

(3) Ego Development: What does this mean for improving your social skills? Firstly, on your part, you have to see and acknowledge your own complexity. One reason I emphasize the importance of self-awareness is that, without it, you'll never come to see or appreciate your own complexity.

The way you view yourself at age 20 will be very different than age 40. It's not necessarily because you've changed a whole lot in that time, in fact, most people don't change very much throughout life, objectively speaking. What really happens is that you gradually learn more and more about who you really are over time, and that changes your self-perception.

When you're young, ego development is still in early stages, which means the ego is still in a fragile state. As you build a personal identity, you get heavily invested in seeing yourself a certain way, and it can hurt the ego when that self-image gets contradicted. This leads people to become defensive of their self-image and avoid situations that disturb it.

What they have yet to realize is that taking down the false self-image is precisely how one gets closer to knowing the truth of oneself. One must surrender to the pain of that takedown in order to grow. Are you willing to surrender to the pain of realizing that you are not the person you've always believed yourself to be, that you're possibly a much worse person than you thought?

Until you can recognize the truth of your own complex humanity and the full scope of your own positive and negative potential, you will always struggle to understand others, because it is likely that you will remain stuck in a state of projection. Projection means that your perception of others is always tainted by your own unconscious ego issues, i.e., you don't see the world as it is but as you are.

For example, you are a person who prefers to communicate directly, and this unconsciously sets up an expectation that others should do it too or be capable of doing it. Whenever others prove to be very different from you, you get confused or flustered. Your mind isn't open enough to gather the whole truth about people when your first instinct is to assume people are or should be just like you.

Secondly, on the part of the relationship, you have to acknowledge the reality that, at this moment, not everyone is within your capability to understand and is therefore not going to be very compatible with you. There's a reason why we seem to click with some people better than others. While relationships do require work to maintain, there's a certain point at which the expenditure of effort starts to bring diminishing returns. At that point, it might be time to throw in the towel and admit that the relationship isn't going to work in its current manifestation.

For example, if you're looking for someone who is capable of having a mature, honest, and authentic discussion about relationship issues, then you have to weed out the people who haven't yet developed that capability. It's not about being mean or critical; it's about recognizing the facts of what someone can or can't do and making a smart choice about whether it's possible to have a healthy relationship with them.

(4) Exercising Good Judgment: Making evaluations of people and relationships isn't easy because there are a variety of factors to take into consideration. One problem Ti doms often run into is that they don't take enough factors into consideration (inferior Fe), i.e., they are too undiscerning and often just passively take whatever relationships come their way.

When you approach relationships too abstractly or intellectually or flexibly, you can easily fall into the trap of thinking that any relationship can work in theory, if only you did this or they did that. In reality though, the effort it would take to implement those changes wouldn't be worth it due to diminishing returns, or those changes are simply infeasible (and you might slowly destroy yourself or the relationship by trying to force the change).

An important step in acknowledging your own complex humanity is to admit that you have needs, preferences, and desires... AND be okay with them changing over time, as you learn more about yourself. Needs, preferences, and desires should be informing you of what kind of person is best suited to being your friend or partner.

There are billions of people in this world. If you want a positive, enriching, and fulfilling social life, you have to be proactive and selective in finding the right people for you to keep company with. There are only a few basic criteria that need to be present in every relationship, such as: kindness, trust, empathy, etc. But what about the other qualities of the person? What does your ideal friend/partner look like?

(5) Navigating Conflict: An important aspect of having good social skills is accepting the fact that conflict is necessary for relationships to grow over time. A relationship without disagreements and problems isn't a real relationship. The question is whether the two people involved are: i) committed enough to the relationship to make things better, ii) equipped with the relationship skills required to resolve problems properly, and iii) on the same page and want the same things out of the relationship.

To the first point, not everyone you meet will be as committed as you, so you have to use your best judgment about whether it's worthwhile to continue with them. Also, reflect on how committed you are to a relationship and whether it is accurately reflected in your everyday behavior. Remember that Fe is an extraverted function that requires taking action and cannot only be about empty words or silent intentions.

To the second point, as long as both individuals are willing to learn and improve their relationship skills, there will continue to be hope for the relationship to get better. Although, keep in mind that the learning process isn't always linear and smooth. There will inevitably be steps forwards and backwards.

To the third point, you can discuss with people what they want out of the relationship, what their goals are, or what they hope the relationship can become in the future. A relationship has a greater chance of success when there is agreement about which direction to go. If people refuse such discussions or don't take them seriously, then it casts serious doubt over their commitment, which circles back to the first point.

It sounds like you are motivated to improve your social skills. If people aren't being honest with you, you have to get to the bottom of why. Perhaps the problem lies mainly in you not really hearing what people need from you because you keep failing to address the feelings they are communicating, which is a common communication problem. If that's the case, you need to work on your listening skills and communication skills in general. Perhaps the problem lies mainly in the other person not being able to express themselves honestly for whatever reason. Or it could be a combination of the two.

The best you can do is welcome people to be honest with you, by guaranteeing to them that you can handle the truth and encouraging them to speak directly. However, you have no control over whether they can do it. It's their issue to deal with and there's no forcing it.

[mistype360]

Hi!!! I have this character that i am sure is an 8 but it's a little hard to decide his wing, tritype and instinctual variants stacking. Do u have something that could help me?

I apologize for the bother and have a nice day/night 🌷

so you're an enneagram 8...

determining your wings

8w7:

usually estps and estjs

more excitable/excited, slightly more impulsive

"self-destructive"

more "rebellious" and moves against authority

overestimate themselves often

punches first

8w9:

usually istp's or esfp's

calmer, mellowed, "controlled" anger

hides and isolates when stressed (not anger), disengages with the world, "numbs" themself

doesn't fight until provoked

instinctual variants of an e8

sx8: loves rebelling the most, attention seeking, often use relationships to boost self-esteem, strongly opinionated about others close to them, "intense" and passionate (this is a big part of sx8's), tendency to be unfiltered, emotions tend to be displayed more obvious, often mistaken for sx 4's

so8: rebels most against social norms, most likely to disregard self, hyperaware of injustices occurring around themselves, often holds onto concepts of betrayal and sacrifice, often mistaken for enneagram types (1,9, or 2), may "test" those around them, using their aggression to protect others

sp8: often mistaken for enneagram 5's, very materialistic, often perceives the world as "harsh" or "ruthless," withdrawn and quiet, most afraid of being taken advantage of, cares about people close to themselves very strongly, may be seemingly unempathetic

[yandere-romanticaa]

Could you do INTP for twisted wonderland?

masterlist.

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓:

𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒:

𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐁𝐋𝐄:

[mbti-enemies]

how do you think each MBTI would react to their crush asking them out?

c r us h: would you like to get a coffee tomorrow?

INFJ: *stuffs excitement down down down down* yes. yes. i would... love that. 4pm? *jumps around whooping like a little kid once crush leaves*

INTJ: *malfunctions* whY? *starts blushing.... from embarrassment* NO not why i should go with you i meant. yes. i meant- why- *stop talkng now stop talking stop-*

ISFJ: *wide eyes* *starts smiling* yeah! yeah i would love to! *does a little jaw drop when you're gone* ohmygosh!

ISTJ: Like... together? To- together?

ESFJ: *does not contain it* ohmygosh really? yeah! i'd love that!!! <3333333333333<3333333333<333-

ESTJ: *gets really suspicious* *frowns* did someone put you up to this?? HUH? did one of my friends istg imma KILL them-

ENFJ: *plays it the coolest* yeah, sounds good! *crush leaves* *buries head in hands* soUndS gOoD? iS that ALL we had to SAY?

ENTJ: *malfunctions*. *pause*. YES i mean yeah for sure that would be nice .......(*mentally chucks out their jam packed schedule for the entire evening*)

INTP: *dies* coffee? coffee. yeah.... i like coffee, so, yes! yes.

ENTP: I already had a coffee. *crush leaves* NO NO WAIT I DIDN'T MEAN THAT... sorry i.... forgot to turn it off... how about 4? *after crush leaves* ...the one time i failed to be cool is now? really?

ISTP: Sounds good dude (*internal* dUDe?! DuDE wth how do i turn this thing OFF)

ESTP: Yeah *puts hand out on wall do the the sexy lean but for once misjudges and slips* (doesn't mind because it makes crush laugh)

ENFP: sorry let me just- *puts hand on wall for support* im just mentally keysmashing- *gives them the brightest sunshiney smile ever* YEAH i would love to!

INFP: *blushes perfectly* *wants to run and hide* *gives them the most hurried nod*

ESFP: yeah for sure sounds funsies! *crush leaves* *commence: phone a friend* BESTIE GUESS WHAT HAPPENED. WAIT NO I SAID FUNSIES *cries* WHY DID I SAY FUNSIES. "you always say funsies" I knoW but that was so not a sLaY. wait... what do i wear?? WHAT DO I WEAR?

ISFP: *bites lip and looks at the floor to stop smiling until they regain composure and look up* for sure! i know a super vibey place down the road...

[foxonrollerskates]

INFP 👍

Oh, you're introverted? Hmmmmmm

[call-me-chips]

i love how the only asks you knew how to react to were the ones where someone needed advice on how to get a girlfriend and the one where the person was talking about how their family couldn’t read their emotions right (btw if that anon is reading this i hope you’re doing better 🙏)

Lmao

I guess if my mind deems the situation serious enough, it'll react x,D

But in all seriousness, it kinda makes sense that I can "react" to those two:

For the girlfriend one, they were asking for advice on how to ask someone out, but I've never done that, so I wasn't much help there. But they did mention that they were really anxious about it, which is something I could relate to and provide some advice for

And for the uncaring family one, I deal with a very similar situation regularly, so I could easily give my thoughts and assure them that there wasn't something wrong with them and that they weren't in the wrong at all

So basically, I'm bad with feelings and raw reactions, but I'm good with thought out advice on topics I'm familiar with and analyzing situations

(Also if that anon is reading this, I also hope you're doing better <3)

[randomfoggytiger]

"Mulder typifies this to its fullest from the beginning and spends the rest of the series wading through the weeds of Scully’s acquired facts to find the most accurate conclusion–which is why he needs her Te data and she needs his Ti hero. A truly symbiotic relationship (+ another analysis in future~.)"

did you write this one 👀

Wait, did I?

Wait, I don't think so. Huh.

*adding that to my expanding list of ideas*

But, in short: Ti is Thinking Introverted, so it digs deep to make sense of something unexplainable (or not yet explained.) It's an individual thought process divorced from relying on outside opinions, looking only to facts and data when their idea has been fully formulated and is ready to be tested, etc.

Te is Thinking Extroverted, meaning it outsources to others for data, facts, etc. They are the data crunchers, taking Ti Users ideas and churning through mounds and mounds of research (etc.) to support or debunk their theory.

They also compliment each others' weaknesses: Ti is so focused on internalized, personal thought that it can become stale and one-sided if it cuts out the bigger picture or broader scope others have to provide (i.e. Mulder wanting to run off into the woods after the Mothmen before Scully rationalizes to him about water and needing help.) Te is so focused on what is proven or, worse, what others have agreed is fact regardless of new and better ideas that it can get caught in intellectual bubbles where everyone only ever agrees with each other (the temptation of Squeeze, for instance.)

Further: Mulder's Hero is Ti (INTP) whereas Scully's Te isn't hers (it's in her second "Parent" slot); meaning, while Mulder is driven by his internalized "puzzle solving", Scully is not driven nor does she define herself by Te. She defines herself by Si (Sensing Introverted), which is all about duty, honor, tradition, etc. (her "Starbuck" side.) It gives both of them leeway to bat theories at each other without Scully feeling like SHE is being called into question instead of her ideas and without Mulder feeling like HE is being ridiculed for not being in agreement with everyone else.

As a side note: you know who IS Te Hero? Her father. And Scully's Si Hero naturally wants to make him proud, which is why, for so long, she fell into that Te role of "facts first! climb the ranks! medical school!" when the truth was, she wasn't made happy by advancement, achievement, etc. Sure, it made her feel like she made a difference (and tapped into her "VIP" aspect of being an ISTJ), but it wasn't her. That was her father.

Hope the grammar was alright, running on half capacity~. :DDD

[notanotherinfjblog]

Inferior Fe

@majikal137 I'm going to answer your question on this old post here for simplicity reasons:

Hi. As a Fe aux user, how do you think about behaviors of Fe inferior?

I'm actually very familiar with behaviours of inferior Fe since my father is an INTP and my stepfather an ISTP, and it's quite interesting actually. Fe is by far the most obvious function in people, regardless of its position in the functions stack. It always shines through, even in IxTPs. They can be quite good at analysing and understanding other people through an Fe lens, though ISTPs tend to be a lot better at that than INTPs in my experience, probably due to being more observant of other people thanks to their Se, while INTPs prefer to get lost inside their own Ne-wired minds. Still, IxTPs usually display the same viewpoints on Fe politeness as FJs, just in a more chill way (such as we're here as a group, not as individuals, or I don't like you, but I will be polite and civil, or a general aversion against conflict). And they usually understand Fe behaviour in FJs without any issues, even when they may think that the FJ is needlessly exaggerating something. They get it. What they don't get is how to talk to people. I don't mean this in a mean way, but I think it's quite funny how IxTPs understand high Fe, but don't understand why their own behaviour can make FJs mad. They aren't as willing to go with the flow and compromise as FJs are and just stubbornly do their own thing instead. They don't emote like FJs do and they don't freely express their emotions, typically because they are not in touch with them at all. You as an outside person are often more likely to know how an IxTP is feeling than the IxTP themselves. My INTP dad can stomp his foot and angrily mutter to himself and slam doors etc. and then be confused when other people assume that he's angry. He doesn't know. He wasn't aware. It has to be brought to his attention (which is also a very Fe thing: you need to see yourself through other people's eyes). But the thing is, high Fe wants emotions from other people. My ESFJ mother still talks about that time when we were on holiday and reached the top of a mountain and how she could have shouted out into the world how beautiful the view is and how happy she is to be there with all of us. Meanwhile my INTP dad went "Yeah. It looks nice." Twenty years later and my mother still says she could have killed him right then and there. She wanted him to join her in her euphoria. She wanted to ride that feeling with someone. That's what high Fe is all about. Connecting emotionally. Melting into one another, becoming one. But you can't tickle emotional highs and lows out of an IxTP. They are not cold or unfeeling. They just aren't aware. You can burst into tears in front of them and they will have no idea what is happening and why or what to say, but they will simply go for a warm hug and hope that's enough (for me, it always was). It's a constant confusion, but they get the gist. That's the thing with our inferior functions: they make sense to us when we see them in higher positions in other people. They don't feel foreign. They're not necessarily something we particularly care about, but they don't feel alien to us. Using them just feels a bit like a wet piece of soap that's slipping through your fingers. It's tangible. You know its use, its purpose, you know how it works in theory. You're just really bad at it. That's how I feel about inferior Fe behaviours. Seeing it in action in IxTPs feels like listening to a twelve-year-old explaining astrophysics to me.

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Have you ever taken the MBTI test thingie? I know it has been debunked multiple times, but its always made sense to me. And I'm kindaaa curious !!

Hey!

yes I did (multiple times)

I even had a minor hyperfixentaition on it a while back

on the test I got INTP which is Ti Ne Si Fe

i think it fits? I dont think I fit the stereotype, really and the I &E switch often ngl but I think i fit the way of thinking of it for the most part.

The more I looked into it I found more inconsistencies and shit but I in like it because it’s fun!

Someone once told me MBTI is like Zodiac signs but for smart people.

I really like the concept of it and the different interpretations.

I had a big fixation it and still like it so it’s really nice you asked and to answer !

I hope you have a good day<3

[oiblackestsheep]

MBTI Types as Annoying Things THAT HAVE HAPPENED IN MY LAB THIS WEEK AUGHH!!!

Disclaimer: I am very unhinged because this week has been the absolute worst, but I am always professional and polite to everyone in the lab, I just gotta get this out somehow you know what I mean lmao. please enjoy this meme for me

I threw away my own experiment by accident because I was just so done with its bullshit: INFP, ISFP

The new hire turned off a computer that killed EVERYONE'S EXPERIMENTS AT THE SAME TIME: ESTP, ENTP

Boss tasked me with teaching students a new procedure that I've never even done before myself????: ISFJ, ENFP

The same machine broke down more times than a McDonlad's milkeshake machine and it's making me LOSE MY MIND BECAUSE I HAVE TO KEEP FIXING IT: ESTJ, ISTP

Student researchers only available for 2 hours a day and spend most of it flirting instead of doing actual science: ESFP, INFJ

Boss added a "do this extra thing" to one of my experiments that sounds easy enough but actually adds like 1000 hours onto the whole process and she does not understand how big of a burden that is: INTJ, INTP

Student researcher keeps asking me "what does [boss] mean in this email she sent me" instead of just ASKING FOR CLARIFICATION FROM HER DIRECTLY: ESFJ, ISTJ

New hire admits being very new and has little background in our area of research, but still chooses to fight me on the validity of procedures that I am extremely familiar with and knowledgeable of??: ENTJ, ENFJ

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hello, I hope you're doing well. I'm an INTP, and I've always had a struggle of getting along with people in a casual setting. I find it difficult to keep up with people's light-hearted banters and roasts. There seems to be a very fine line between poking fun at a person and outright insulting them or making it awkward, and I somehow fall into the wrong side of this line. Even if i repeat and emulate other people's lines, it comes off with a wrong tone. I'm not entirely sure if it's my voice or expression that makes them fall flat or be awkward. I try to constantly dissect these kinds of conversations in my head, but it does not come out the way I want it to in real life.

Another thing is when I'm the one being poked fun at, I fail to give off a good response or a witty comment back. All I can manage is awkward smiles and laughs. It seems like I don't have a knack for these kinds of conversations, which really sucks because not only do I want to join in the fun, this kind of banter is how most people in my culture communicate and bond, so I feel left out and awkward amongst them. I feel like this is made worse by the fact that I am always thinking about how I will respond instead of focusing on what others have to say.

How do you think it's possible for me to learn this specific way to communicate without having to fall into a social mishap every time I try?

---------------------

Unfortunately, not everyone is equally endowed with the ability to fit in well socially. You shouldn't feel ashamed for the way you're born because it's not something you have control over. This doesn't mean you can't work on it and improve, though it might be a difficult process. It's important to not get too discouraged when you receive negative feedback. Treat negative feedback as an opportunity to deepen your learning and understanding.

One problem I'm noticing right away is that your view of socializing is far too narrow in scope, which is related to inferior Fe. You want help with this particular situation, but it's likely that the problem goes deeper than that, in terms of being unable to adapt well in social situations in general. There's no easy and simple formula for being able to socialize well. Socializing is a complex activity. It's a skill set. There's no one route you can take as a shortcut to success. As you've seen, shortcuts can easily backfire on you.

People generally learn good social skills through trial-and-error in childhood. Parents and teachers teach appropriate social behavior and then feedback from peers helps refine important lessons. However, there are a lot of things that can get in the way of the normal learning process. For example, traumatic experiences of humiliation, bullying, or abuse can stunt social development.

Have you reflected on why you're lagging in this department? It could be something as simple as lacking social experience, or something as complicated as a neurological condition that makes it difficult for you to read social cues. If you want to improve your social skills more efficiently, it helps to know why exactly your social skills are lacking in the first place.

How old are you? This is important because your approach to socializing seems somewhat childish. Children generally learn to socialize through modeling. Essentially, they observe what others do and try to imitate it. However, childhood strategies rarely work optimally in later stages of life. Growing up requires evolving better strategies because each subsequent stage of life becomes more and more complex, with more and more new factors to take into consideration. To illustrate...

Assuming normal development, children are generally quite amiable. They can easily start playing with anyone who is friendly toward them. They speak freely because they haven't developed a filter yet, and their peers aren't sophisticated enough to be easily offended anyway. When they like someone, they'll show it by starting to mirror them, which helps create a special bond.

Now imagine if you continued this into adolescence. Fun is no longer the prime objective. Adolescence is about experimenting with expressions of personal identity in new and creative ways, in order to eventually carve out one's own space in society. This should actually coincide quite well with auxiliary Ne development because it would open you up to exploring different facets of existence.

Who do you want to be? What do you wish to express? In adolescence, people are gradually strengthening their sense of self. They have more complicated thoughts, louder feelings, and stronger opinions. If you continue speaking freely like a kid without a filter, you'll encounter a lot more pushback and people expecting that "you should know better" by now.

When you don't have an identity to express or suppress your true identity in order to fit in, you're going against what is socially expected of you at this stage of life. You're likely to come across as inauthentic, desperate, uncool, or unlikable. Instead of learning to be yourself, you're trying too hard to be someone else. Although you want to be able to banter like everyone else, maybe it's not your ideal form of communication, which means you have to figure out what your ideal way of communicating is, and then find a way to add it into the mix.

Assuming normal development, a person should possess a strong sense of self and identity in adulthood. Socializing is no longer about imitation or experimentation but about building healthy companionship and community. You have to know yourself, your needs and values, in order to find compatible companions. You have to know what positive things you can offer and contribute, in order to find a community that truly appreciates you.

What I hear from your description is that you haven't been able to evolve your socializing strategies, so the question is why? Until the root causes are known, I can only offer speculations.

It's possible that you are still relying on childhood socializing strategies because you don't know yourself well enough, which means you aren't able to constructively express who you really are.

It's possible that you have an identity but are unable to express it in a way that others can accept, because you haven't done enough to work on your communication skills.

It's possible that lack of Ne development in adolescence has slowed down your social learning, by making your mind too narrow/closed to adapt to change in a timely manner. This would be worsened by chronic Si loop problems. It is primarily Ne that allows NPs to banter well.

Questions of identity are complicated, so I can't really speak more about it until you clarify whether there's a problem there. In the meantime, I can only say some general things about communication.

Contrary to appearances, banter isn't about roasting people. It's really about building rapport. Building rapport involves: 1) hearing what people are saying and understanding what they're trying to express about themselves and why, 2) taking what they say and considering several possible ways of looking at it, and 3) adding your own ideas to build upon what was said in a positive way.

When people roast each other in a friendly and unoffensive way, what they're really doing is validating each other, in order to strengthen the relationship bond. It seems you haven't understood this. Everyone wants to feel validated by their loved ones. Validating someone is a way of saying between the lines "I really see you and love you". If you're going to roast someone, you have to find your own way of validating them that somehow connects it back to the unique relationship you have with them.

For example, I have an ENFP and an ESFP friend who are great friends with each other, and we often lose ourselves in mindless banter. Their personalities are so similar that people always assume they agree on everything. They are both very "loud" people, in every way. If you were an unsophisticated socializer, you'd assume that it'd be fine to treat them both the same way, but you'd be wrong.

I relentlessly mock my ENFP friend for being way too loud. They're not offended because they not-so-secretly take pride in being very outspoken, always willing to stand up for what they believe in. Despite sounding like I'm being critical, I'm actually showing that I appreciate this aspect of them by calling attention to it. They have a history of helping me through tough social situations. They often mock me in return for not speaking up immediately, but I'm not offended because what they're really saying is that they'd be right there to back me up as soon as I needed them.

However, I would never, ever mock my ESFP friend in the same way because they once confided in me that they suffered a lot of abuse from their parents for being too loud. If I were to mock them, I'd be pressing on an old wound and hurting them. Instead, I mock them for being too "flamboyant", which addresses their loudness in a subtly different way. For instance, I often pretend to be blinded by their super bright clothing, which, between the lines, communicates that I love their bold and daring fashion style (that they take great pride in). In return, they mock me for my dull and boring shades of grey and black, which is fine by me, because my style is usually noticed and complimented as being sleek and sharp. The mocking is actually a way of expressing that they are jealous for not being able to pull off such coolness.

One of the problems with having inferior Fe is that you don't do enough to build an accurate and detailed theory of mind, to properly understand who someone really is, apart from how you perceive them. In order to see the world through someone else's perspective, you have to put time and effort into wearing their shoes. Be more attentive to the finer details that set them apart.

In other words, to strengthen relationships with validating banter, you have to understand people as individuals with unique characteristics, needs, and preferences. Perspective taking is something that most people could stand to improve, in order to become more effective and empathetic communicators.

Yes, you're right, when you're always hyperfocused on yourself and whether you're saying the right thing, it's easy to lose sight of the other side of the equation. Perhaps you need to be more forgiving of yourself and allow yourself more space to sit back and relax, and only jump in when you feel comfortable and confident about it.

[mitski-slope]

Scruffing you

I will indoctrinate you into hockey as well I swear to FUCKING GOD

LOOK UP BRAD MARCHAND PLEASE I BEG OF YOU!!! LOOK UP BRAD MARCHAND LICKING AND KISSING COMPILATION!! OBAMA CALLED HIM A LITTLE BALL OF HATE!! HE INHERITED THE NICKNAME “THE RAT”!!!! HE KISSED HIS OLD TEAMMATE WHO HE HAD MATCHING NUMBERS WITH (He’s 63 and Bergeron is 37 WHICH ADD UP TO FUCKING 100!!!!) ON THE FUCKING MOUTH DURING ANOTHER TEAMMATES WEDDING!! AND BEFORE THAT THEY DID A WHOLE ASS CHOREOGRAPHED DANCE!!! PLEASE I PLEAD OF YOU!!! HE STOLE A WHOLE PLAYER!! HE FUMKIN SCRUFFED HIMB!!! POOR BABY BEDSY GOT SCRUFFED BY THE RAT!!! ALSO LOOK UP CONNOR BEDARD PLEASE!! BROSKI KEEPS GETTING MANHANDLED AND LAUNCHED AND TOSSED AND THROWN AROUND!!! HE WAS THE NUMBER ONE DRAFT PICK THIS SEASON!!!! HE HAS THE WEIGHT OF TAKING A MEDIOCRE TEAM ALL THE WAY TO THE STANLEY CUP ON HIS SHOULDERS!! HES JUST A LITTLE GUY AND THEY EXPECT HIM TO FUCKING OUT SCORE WAYNE GRETZKY!!!! LOOK UP BEST ALLY TRAVIS DERMOTT PLEASE!!! I WAS HIS AND THE YOTES FAN BEFORE AND EVEN MORESO NOW!! HE GOT THE PRIDE TAPE BAN RESERVED!! HES JUST A NORMAL DUDE!!! HES NOT A SUPERSTAR!!!! HES JUST A BROSKI!!! BUT HE DID IT BY HIMSELF!!!!! PLEASE POOKIE COOKIE SNOOKUM KITTEN WHISKERS SWEETIE PIE SUGARPLUM HONEY BUTTERCUP BEAR!!! GET INVESTED IN A TEAM!!! JUST NOT THE MAPLE LEAFS!!!!!! PLEASE PHROG I BEG!!! I BEGGETH ON MY KNEES!!! I AM GIVING PUPPY EYES AND HEAD TILT!!! SPARKLY WET SOPPING EYES!!!!!!

hi marcy

[yandere-romanticaa]

Can you do Haikyuu x INTP

masterlist.

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓:

𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒:

𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐁𝐋𝐄:

[mbti-enemies]

As an INTJ female, I have seen so many ENFJ male and INTJ female as couples in some TV series or dramas and their relationship does seems really... Interesting.

Also, have seen some INFJ males in dramas and the recent one whom i got a crush on is Souta from Suzume. It's an anime movie.

INTP's are also have an interesting personalty like most of the INTP male characters in animes are so funny and ...cute...? I mean they have their own kind of charm to them.

Sadly, never met any of these types in real life. I have some INFJ female friends but yeah. It's just that.

thanks for sharing anon <3 i haven't really noticed the enfj x intj trend but i can see it being a trope but i wouldn't think its the most compatible irl hmm. hear hear on the intp charm. you are so right to be crushing on an infj btw

[asclepias-lavendula-nyctanthes]

Where did you get the idea for your tag "#light magnetic tape celluloid and silver nitrate", if you don't mind me asking? It's intriguingly specific 👀

since I tag art #scribbles and paint splatters I wanted something along the same lines of "what it's made of" for photos.

A film type camera uses magnetic tape made of celluloid and silver nitrate (as well as some other stuff), which develops an image when exposed to light, so i played around with the names of different components until I found ones that I thought sounded nice together.