#asfarasiknow

[eric-sadahire]

The bible, that’s gods book, as far as I know the devil hasn’t brought out a book yet, haven’t heard his side of the argument. God’s just writing shit about him, and the devil’s being the bigger man and saying I’m not even going to comment, talking shit about me like that.

[cloth0]

A rather lengthy post about my hallucination process, and how to waste a couple of hours

The setting: in The Office 8x13, when Jim and Pam bring their babies to the office, everybody is greeting them yatta yatta, and at some point Andy says about baby Philip: "He's licking on my finger just like my cat does." I remember being rather confused when I watched this scene, like... Andy has a cat?? Why I didn't know this? Why nobody (asfarasIknow) is exploiting this information for fan stuff???

But that huge discovery (!) just kinda sat in the cluttered back of my mind, collecting dust. Until today.

I was randomly recalling this scene (while taking a shower, the vapors from the scorching water really help my "creative process"), and the actual line of thought went something like:

Andy has a dog personality, and owns a cat

Oscar has a (dorky) cat personality, and owns a dog

-> cute + absolutely perfect

Uh, Angela owns multitudes of cats as well tho, how does it fit in the equation?

And so I started to connect the dots and I thought... But what if

What if after he discovers the cheating (possibly also after the honeymoons), Andy needs to speak to Angela to sort the last things out, like getting back the engagement ring etc, and maybe in the heat of the moment he's taken by spite or anyway tries to come back at Angela somehow, and

Andy: "... And I want Fili back!" Angela: "WHAT I'm not giving you Fili!" Andy: "I took her from the warehouse, I saved her. She's my cat, I want her back."

(Yup, I was thinking about the cat that Andy captured from the warehouse and gave to Angela to win her over, which in my head was i) a female cat, because yes, and ii) named Fili, which admittedly is a work-in-progress, I was trying to find a cute name that could have had a reference to the warehouse, so I went with Forklift>Foli>Fili, eh.)

And eventually Angela begrudgingly complies, and Andy finds himself with this cat, and has no idea what to do with her, but he's enthusiastic (as Andy does). The cat on the other hand is Less Than Thrilled, because cats notoriously do not like to change homes, plus she doesn't have her cat pals anymore, AND the human she's stuck with is clearly incompetent. So she strives to make her distress very clear by peeing on any available surface and staying the fuck away from Andy, engaging as little as possible (glaring at him while eating and hissing if he tries to get closer).

Andy is heartbroken. Not only her betrothed cheated on him, now not even the cat wants anything to do with him? How sad and pathetic is that? So he depressingly starts to think that maybe it's best for everybody to give Fili back to Angela.

But then one day he gets home and idk, maybe it was just a particularly bad day, maybe he blew yet another sale, maybe the whole 'missed wedding' affair just caught up with him, maybe all these things together, but he just flops on the couch and just sits there quietly, head in hands, trying to decompress and calm down.

And.

And Fili peers from a corner of the house and watches him with curiosity for a bit, then starts trotting to him, gets between his feet and starts playing with his dangling tie, which is extremely colorful as always and just so pretty. Andy opens his eyes, sees her and goes: "Oh hi".

The next morning he comes to the office with some very visible scratches on his face, to everyone's confusion/worry(/disinterest), and when Pam asks him if he is alright he just makes the brightest grin and answers: "Never been better!". And from there those two just clicked, and Fili steadily warms up to Andy, accepting to be patted and purring in return, snoozing contently on his lap while he plays his banjo/guitar, and generally do all the adorable mayhem a cat usually do, just being Andy's little princess.

After all this wild hallucination, I pondered the idea of actually writing something based on this scenario - the only real problem I saw was the 3-months period of Andy being on the damn boat. I could only see him leaving Fili to somebody he actually-really-truly trust (who? Oscar maybe? so obvious?), and when would he drop her off anyway? The entire journey's reason is for it to be a very spur-of-the-moment thing, so...

... Unless...

(that's Cooper "The Sailing Cat", check him out)

I mean?? It works???

At this point, I was totally in a "you had my curiosity, now you have my attention" mood, and started collecting some refs etc.

And it was then that I discovered that the cat that Andy captures in the warehouse is actually the same cat, Garbage, that Dwight tried to give to Angela as a present, but she refused. Which is actually Bandit, the kitty that Angela throws at ""Oscar"" on the ceiling during the Fire Drill episode, the puss on the roof if you will. Speaking of 9 lives.

Needless to say, this canon pretty much ruins my entire well-concocted (?) plan. I think I will still do something will all this brain-garbage I produced, but now I'm too fussy about it.

[djasyd]

#asfarasiknow #matthieufaubourg #sydlotusfinds https://www.instagram.com/p/CGvOgrrhlc8/?igshid=14etb47lq3r2w

[piedmontcourt3]

wow having “triggers” is so fucking bizarre.......like not even just things that remind you to obsess or things that bring on intrusive thoughts i just saw something that made me panic my chest did a weird thing and my heart beat fast and now i feel lightheaded and weird it ws very immediarte haha im okay though

[mallorynicoleme]

I definitely used to find these Walmart shirts super lame, like who thinks they're amazing? And for real, who wants to announce that? Doesn't that seem cocky, full of yourself, or even a little narcissistic to say that? . And to those thoughts I say Um, no... I am not cocky, narcissistic, or full of myself for learning my worth and loving myself. The shirt still may be a little lame to some people but I think it's fun. As far as I know, I'm pretty amazing. And I'm all for everyone else thinking they're amazing too 😊❤️. . . . . . #fitfam #cheesytshirt #loveyourself #selflovejourney #imamazing #asfarasiknow #selflove #fitspo #healthspo #knowyourworth #notlame #fitnessjourney #changeyourthinking #transformationtuesday #selfie #weightlossjourney #fitnessmotivation #wellnessmotivation

[katscratching]

Take it all, Chachi

Why am I here? To work off some reasonable aggression. Don’t delude yourself you’ll get as far as your standard proposition. You’ve heard my line too many times-- well, so’ve I yours & the issue that concerns you is no longer new or interesting. Tell me this isn’t the right platform to get too philosophical intelligent tell me what about me I should work on  to please you more not just that Jesus  would know  how better to behave. Revelation: Jesus (AsFarAsIKnow) didn’t identify as a woman. Here’s something simple: Joanie loves Chachi but who loves Chachi more? I didn’t think you dealt in insecurities but tenable algorithms where people are just placeholders for five minutes months  & little more. Everything is temporary. Now you want to analyse my daddy issues? Papa’s safely tucked away in the Fatherland so let’s talk Oedipus  & how you think negging will have us begging for more. Though I forget I can’t speak for all wimmin--just me  & ask anyone I’m not short & never short of words. Why are you (still) here? Because you find me terribly soignée & theoretically lovely & theoretically you love a woman who  answers back. With whiplash. You’ve the right pot on the boil though I don’t know how hot you like it really. Is this how you like it, really? Apparently not. Apparently Chachi  has backed out of the kitchen.

Acknowledgements to Freya Daly Sadgrove

[thaiguyinlondon]

Absolutely must order these when you come here, nowhere else in the world does it as an a-la-carte dish. #asfarasiknow #avacadosalad #thaiguyinlondon #goodtimes (at Kulu Kulu Sushi)

[seanastinhopeunquenchable]

“It’s true… we were only this high when we made the movies!”

#lotr #hobbits #seanastin #heneverreallysaidthat #asfarasiknow #sean astin

[annlarimer]

This is my oldest toy, a few plastic dinosaurs possibly excepted. My oldest brother brought him to me from Finland. #toys #winduptoy #bears #notthatkindofbear #asfarasiknow #anywayhellobearswhowanderinhere #enoughwiththetagging

[phiichaa]

Ummm🙄😏 n miss u too#kajeab_TJ #missna #asfarasiknow #JTJ #JVW

[bannakaffallattaa]

Found this picture on my phone. @russelldean509 looks like an axe murderer #bestfriend #husbandselfie #marriedlife #notamurderer #asfarasIknow

[samwich310]

My new baby godsister💜😊👶👧🎉🎊🎆🎈 November 25,2014 8lbs 1oz 19.5in ^.^ #latepost #shehasnonameyet #asfarasiknow #piccollage

[jordanizking97-blog]

Well...most of them. #OnMyMind #AsFarAsIKnow (Taken with instagram)

[phiichaa]

In memory💾#keep it #kajeab_TJ #asfarasiknow #360 #JVW #JTJ

[phiichaa]

Miss😅#kajeab_TJ #360 #asfarasiknow (ที่ Fitness First CentralPlaza Chaengwattana)

[phiichaa]

💬💬💬👁‍🗨💭💭🔇#kajeab_TJ #JVW #JTJ #asfarasiknow