#asexual feminist

[mossy-aro]

sorry but i am SO deeply tired of the 'aphobia isnt real' arguments because they are literally always being conducted in such bad faith. NO there is not specific societal or legal discrimation against aces and aros BECAUSE we are asexual and or aromantic. you cannot hold specifically bigoted beliefs towards a group you do not even know exist. there ARE, however, underlying and deeply pervasive systems and beliefs that actively erase, dehumanise and make life tangibly more difficult for aro and ace people on a social, economic and legal basis. most of this is due to hyperinvisibility, the medicalisation of any nonnormative + misunderstood orientations, the elevation of romance + romantic structures as the most important aspects of interpersonal relationships in society, as well as the nuclear atomisation of the family. among other things. like. amatonormativity has never been ABOUT aromantic people specfically oh my GOD. its simply the underlying social belief that everyone is expected to be in monogamous romantic relationships and that those relationships are expected to the default centre of one's life. its something that affects EVERYONE! but within that it affects aromantic people in a specific and heightened way because of our inability to participate in it in a societally acceptable way. like these are not 'aromantic' or 'asexual' or 'polyamorous' issues specifically. these are theories and terms that originated within feminist + queer sociology studies! its all part of the wider underlying social fabric! aspec people are simply pointing out that we are often affected by these things in unique and often unseen ways.

the idea that we believe people actively 'hate' us for being asexual or aromantic is completely ridiculous. most people i know do not even know the definition of those words! so how could they hate me for it. they could however, for example, hold the pervasive + societally unchallenged belief that not experiencing sexual or romantic attraction is a medical issue or something concerningly abnormal in a human being + something i should get fixed. and its not uncommon that when you DO explain that its simply your orientation to them, they continue to medicalise it and see it as some sort of issue. genuinely so deeply tired of having to explain this to people time and time again when they only want to cherry pick the most ridiculous arguments to respond to and then act as if that's a majority held opinion in the aspec community. like i actually think we are aware of how society views us we're not fucking deluded and stupid. we don't have victim complexes we are just pointing out facts that yall are so desperate to ignore. UGHHHHH

[insomnialya]

Hey y'all.

And have a very pleasant evening.

Sincerely, your allo ally. 💜

[whereserpentswalk]

Twenty four year olds are adults.

Twenty one year olds are adults.

Eighteen year olds are adults.

Petite or 'smol' young adults are adults.

Transmasc young adults are adults.

Asexual young adults are adults.

Autisitc young adults are adults.

Young adults you find cute or wholesome are adults.

These people consume media as adults.

These people make life choices as adults.

These people have sex as adults.

Reblog if you agree.

[fixing-bad-posts]

ily kinky asexual feminists <3

[ratedpinnix24]

Yo fking favourite ❤️❤️❤️

[insufferablefirehazard]

I think we as humans need to realize how privileged we are to be born into a human body.

Sure, I've seen a lot of people wishing how they could be a cat, dog or wolf just so they could be cute and taken care of and relax all day.

But let's remember that most non-human animals aren't so privileged.

Not only are pets often neglected and abused, but if you had been born into the body of a fish, a pig, a cow, a chicken?

Your life is seen as worthless - a means to an end. Fish are often not even regarded as living sentient beings, just decorations or food.

Pigs get their tails cut off, chickens get their beaks cut, often living in their own shit and piss. Cows get their babies stolen so you can drink their breast milk or eat cheese. And at the end of the day their lives are ended by being gassed, electrocuted, having their throat slit.

Thank your lucky stars for being born into the human body because your life could've been much much worse.

[ashleymilesphil]

Hey everyone,❤️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🙏⬇️

As many of you know, I’m AshleyPhil, a queer refugee advocating for the rights of LGBTQ+ refugees in East Africa. I’m also a leader and representative of my group currently in Sudan.

Today, I’m reaching out to ask for your kind donations to help LGBTQ+ refugees in East Africa survive. Whether you’re queer or an ally who cares about our community, this is the perfect time to support us.

We are facing extreme challenges lack of food, medical care, clean water, and shelter. Lesbians here also struggle to access basic sanitary products. Your donation, no matter how big or small, can make a real difference in our lives.

If you’re unable to contribute financially, that’s okay! You can still help by sharing our fundraiser with people who might be able to support us. Even a simple reblog goes a long way in spreading awareness.

Your kindness and solidarity mean everything to us. Thank you for standing with us. 🏳️‍⚧️❤️🏳️‍🌈🙏

[whereserpentswalk]

The worst part about a website as transphobic as tumblr.com being the called the queerest place on the internet is its true.

[lorynna]

i would consider myself a radical feminist also and i agree with the vast majority of your views. honestly i am just curious why you think aromantic/asexual people don't exist or shouldn't be labeled. i don't mean this as hate i'm honestly curious to know if it is part of most radical feminist views

if you can accept someone who is lesbian, and knows for themselves that they aren't at all attracted to men, why would you not accept someone who realizes both that they aren't attracted to men and they aren't attracted to women? (obviously very different identities and experiences i'm just wondering why some people can be trusted to know who they're not attracted to and others can't)

Hello anon, thank you for asking so kindly.

I am going to try and explain what my personal opinion on the topic is, as well as I can, and please keep in mind that I don't speak for the radical feminist community but just for my own views.

First of all, the definitions I have read of both terms (aromantic and asexual) so far aren't really specific, differ from each other at times and leave open room for interpretation. The gendies meanwhile continue to preach "everything means something different to each person" and "it is a broad spectrum" just like they do with gender, which according to them is so complicated and unfathomable that you have to ask each person identifying with it seperately, to know what their gender means to them.

The first thing that comes up when I google the definition of both terms displayed below (just as an example of what I mean):

Like, what do "sexual feelings" all include and to which extent does "little romantic attraction" go?

I do think that people who fit the mainstream criterias for being asexual or aromantic exist, I am not trying to say that it is naturally impossible to experience no sexual or aromantic attraction to anyone. I do think it is really really rare for this to authentically occur though, and that a lot of people identifying with these labels have experienced some kind of trauma or are doing it because it has become a trend.

The thing I most dislike about these labels are not only their inconsistency in definitions but also how much they are starting to get pushed online = trend. In my personal experience I have seen not only online but also offline how younger kids and teens start to pick up on these labels without knowing what they truly mean, because they are "cool" and just like gender it is starting to become a similar trend. Seeing who publicly identifies as those labels, it is again mostly the demographic of teenagers who are going puberty and the several different, crucial developmental phases that come with that.

Since you are asking if this is a common radfem belief, I cannot say. There surely is a variety of opinions, however I have seen some good takes from which I remember being said that a person doesn't need the label of "asexuality" or "aromanticism" as an excuse to not participate in dating culture or to not engage in sexual relations. It should just be common sense to not ask strangers about their dating lives and not ask "why" if they say they are not dating or having sex as if it was something unusual.

Also answering to your last question of "why I don't trust those people to know who they are attracted or not attracted to" is not what I am trying to do insinuate by questioning/criticizing the labels they use to describe said attraction. It is not about me trying to say "I don't believe you, you are lying" it is "why do you need those labels". I just don't think it adds anything valuable to society and it's getting more mainstream each day. Now even with teenagers using those labels when they haven't had the time to figure out themselves as a person yet. It just looses its meaning.

I've seen women going through long periods without having partners (radfems participating in male seperatism for example) being asked "oh, so you're asexual, right?" or "oh, so you're unable to form a romantic connection?" because people start assuming, forgetting that there are so so many reasons why people might not have partners or might not want to.

Again, people who truly are not experiencing any sexual desire or romantic desire are really rare but through so many people mindlessly adopting the label it looses it's meaning because it gets more broad in definition and everyone continues to define it for themselves. "Yeah, I am asexual but sometimes I have sex. Like once a month but that's barely enough so I must be asexual." Like... you might just have a low libido and that's totally okay! Why do you feel the need to label yourself as asexual? Is it easier because of your partner's expectations, maybe? Is a simple no not enough for them?

"I'm 15 and I haven't had a crush on anyone so far. I actually think boys/girls are ew and I can't imagine kissing anyone, like ew saliva. Also the girls/boys in my class are so annoying!!" And no, I've heard statements like this several times before. I mean, give yourself some time you're only 15.

Why do we always have to slap a label on top of everything and why can't we just go through life saying "yeah at the moment I really don't feel like having a partner, I don't want to date or have sex. Maybe that will change someday, maybe not and either way it's okay, I'm open for change. " but we have to say "oh yes, I'm an asexual aromantic without doubt and that won't change, that's my identity" and then when that changes we get an identity crisis realising that oh, maybe that wasn't me? Who am I now?

It all boils down to me not being able to take those labels seriously anymore, which is why I reacted so sarcastically in the post you're probably referring to, where I talked sarcastically about those terms.

"labels are different for anyone"

like no.. to define means to limit, to define means to exclude people who don't meet those criterias and that's okay, that's what makes labels and words meaningful = contributing to a conversation of mutual understanding instead of having to first discuss what each person means by using one and the same word.

Like I can't go outside in a clothing store saying "oh I want a red dress" and when she shows me a red dress I then say "oh that's not red for me, that's yellow by my own definition." How do you expect everyone to effectively communicate by leaving the option open for everyone to seperately define one single term??

But as we know, the gendies aren't fans of definitions.

[insomnialya]

Okay, I understand that there are asexuals who want to have sex, but I think we really should say that asexuals don't have to have sex more often. Because now every time it comes to the fact that a person is asexual, people's first response will be "yeah, but they can still have sex" and I find that very disturbing.

[thenewwomensmovement]

Bible Belt Queers Zine 3 is in!! 🎉

[borderlesslove-blog]

Our presence is resistance, especially in spaces that try to erase or shame us.

[kikifem]

Asexual moid appreciation posts keep showing up on my timeline. I’m extremely “acephobic” and I hate men. Stop.

[whereserpentswalk]

Friendly reminder that:

Anarchists don't vote for people committing genocide.

Queer rights are not imperialist.

Not a single worker in the film industry has lost money due to piracy.

Unmedicated mentally ill people deserve respect and autonomy.

Gun rights are worker's rights.

Ace and aro people have always been part of the queer community.

Paganism/occultism/atheism are valid religions that deserve the same respect as other faiths.

Neolibs will side with nazis before they side with leftists.

You should be proud if your child is a sex worker. You shouldn't if they're a cop.

You deserve love and comfort. You should not have to suffer.

[lorynna]

I agree with you on the overuse and the muddying of the term "asexual". Most asexuals I see have wayyy more sex than I do, and I am very much not asexual.

But I know one of these very rare authentically asexual and aromantic people. My oldest friend. She has absolutely zero sexual attraction to anyone ever, no sexual desire, never even masturbated, never had even an incling on a crush. This is not because of trauma, she's just always been this way. She's an adult, has a degree, works in mechanical engineering, plays lots of sports and hikes mountains, plays boardgames, has close friends - just a regular woman. But she is not just categorically not interested in anything to do with sex and romance, she also just truly doesn't get the appeal. It makes no sense to her.

And for her and people like her, I do think the label is helpful. Obviously you don't need an excuse or a reason not to want those things, you owe that to nobody, but like you said, it is very rare. And just for yourself to feel comfortable and at peace and not like there's something wrong with you, it's very helpful to have a word for it. And to know there's others, even just a few.

She never looked for a word, I was the one who found it online, since I'm a lesbian I was in LGBT circles and eventually stumbled across it and thought of her. And I remember how relieved she was when I mentioned it and asked if that sounds in any way fitting to her. It has also helped her with explaining the idea to her parents or other close friends - people she'd always wanted to know about it, but where she just hadn't known how to say it.

Hi anon! Thank you for your message! 🩷

Your friend sounds like someone who lives life to it's fullest extent and finds something positive in whatever they do. All in all like a genuinly nice person to be around.

I don't have much to say, since you haven't really asked a specific question or disagreed with me - so I'm just going to appreciate your contribution to the topic and say what's on my mind when I read it.

Firstly, I'm glad your friend felt relived when she found out about the label existing and that other people experienced the same thing she did - I can imagine society put her under a lot of pressure regarding any kind of sexual topic.

In the first sentence you acknowledge that the term is overused and has been mudded a lot - that's also one of the reasons why I have difficulties taking the term seriously. Especially because it is rare and I personally have never seen anyone using the label, that wasn't also making it their entire personality or "identifying" with it out of a trend etc you get it. That makes it hard for people like your friend who are genuinly asexual or aromantic to 1) not only get taken seriously by outsiders 2) also feel comfortable and understand in a community of pretenders, who claim to also be the same.

Anyway, I'm happy she could take away what she needed from this term and it helped her explain her experience to those she felt comfortable sharing it with. That's what matters the most :)