#ase jokes

[the-good-the-bad-the-old]

I refuse to ever teach my daughters the archaic concept of "losing one's virginity" geeeez, your mom as a teenager unprofitable hit a bump while riding her bike and if your boy doesn't believe it, it's not your boy

[kandidandi]

Is there a Moon to match your suncatcher Sun? Is he a mooncatcher? Or a wind chime? Or something else entirely? 🤔

i've been dreading this question, i havn't designed him yet *sobs* im stuck between making him a suncatcher like sun to match the crystal theme oR I COULD MAKE HIM LOOK SOMETHING LIKE THIS

BECAUS

COME ON. ITS A DREAMCATCHER IN THE SHAPE OF THE MOON!!! but i have got no clue cuz i wanna also have crystals on him *wails and bawls*

anyways for the actual crystal thing i was at the op shop the other day and saw THIS ((IT SPINS BTW ITS SO PRETTY))

and my immediate thought was "oh hat brim!" like:

this is the only design i can think of where he matches sun

[jrueships]

LIKE. AM I JUST LOOKING INTO THINGS TOO DEEP OR DOES JAREN H A T E HIM RN .

[sweetestcaptainhughes]

the order of which this series will be written has not yet been decided. this series is currently on hold. Trust me I love this series and I plan to come back to it and finish. But this is a very very HEAVY series to write if do it properly and I don’t half ase any of my writing on my blog. That being said, currently I don’t think I am not mentally in the current headspace to do give it justice. Give me some time, but I promise I will finish it. 💜

Is today a dark day? - Cole Caufield (depression)

For the first time since you started dating Cole, your depression seems to be coming back to kick you in the ass. Scared of how Cole will react, you do the only logical thing and pull away.

Quinn Hughes (ADHD)

Can you tell me what hurts? - John Marino (PCOS)

Always struggling with having a abnormal menstrual cycle, and doctors not seeming to care. It sort of became the norm for you to just not really know what's going on with your body. After meeting John, you were worried if he would get scared with how sick you really got so often and run. Or would he be the one to stick around and try to help you figure out what's wrong?

Jack Hughes (OCD) (requested)

What are you trying to say? - Trevor Zegras (Dyslexia)

In the talking stage with Trevor Zegras you're not sure how his joking personality will respond to your struggles that you have with being an adult with dyslexia, especially since it doesn't affect you how media expects it to.

Why do you think that? - Nico Hischier (Body Dysmorphia)

Y/N was happy with Nico, he made her feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. But what happens when an old friend of Y/N visits and they start looking back on old pictures. Or how does Nico handle Y/N pushing away when her body dysmorphia seems to finally catch up to her after so long of it being pushed to the back of her mind.

Brock Boeser (Anxiety)

Matthew Tkachuk (PTSD)

Luke Hughes (Binge Eating) (requested)

Auston Matthews (Anemia) (requested)

Borderline Personality Disorder (player undecided) (requested)

I am open to the idea of adding players and different disorders or health issues to this list if you have any ideas please send in an ask.

[lowkeyrobin]

FOURTHGRADE ; dating hcs

warnings ; language, talk of substances, talk of like makeout stuff (not in great detail or anything but yk)

genre ; fluff

requested by ; @th0tblckgrl

masterlist

guys, he isn't dumb, he just lacks common sense I swear

he excells in tech classes and art stuff

math and science will be his downfall (real tbh)

always films you doing tricks and shit

has a whole vhs worth of film of raw, unedited footage of you two skating together (mostly you) and stupid cute shit he's caught on camera

he titles it "y/n/n <3" with a red sharpie too.

dyeing his hair w him

he never switches out that bleach & pink istg

it makes for good hangouts and stuff tho

you watch his gecko for hours while he's doing homework and shit

she's just so adorable omg

he likes you on top when you're making out and shit

he loves being straddled and being able to hold you by the waist and shit

he's not super clingy or anything but he loves his hand holding and cuddles

he has acne, and if you do too, oh my lord match made in heaven

he loves tracing your scars with his infamous red sharpie and it stains your face for almost a day lmao

he likes picking at your bacne just through impulsive thoughts

"ow! Jesus christ!"

"sorry! it was ready to pop, I swear"

dude Ray loves you two together sm

he's your biggest shipper <3

fuckshit constantly teases you two

I personally hc that fourthgrade is asexual so here's context for the next one

since he's ase (and even if you are two! me too twin) you guys don't take it all that sexual, and gets a little icked when the guys make jokes about you two fucking sometimes

most the time he laughs it off but other days he's just eughhh

and you instantly turn to whoever made the joke and silently shake your head and do the 'you're dead sign' with a respectful face iykwim

he likes staring in your eyes sometimes and getting lost in them

when he's writing movie scripts for fun, he uses you as a faceclaim (along with the other boys tbh) for whatever lead there is or the leads love intrest/best friend. everytime without fail

basically just fanfiction about you two

again like fuckshit, friendship before relationship

matching belts or band shirts

if you also dye your hair fun colors, he dyes it for you

movie nights every night I swear

getting high with him in the dead of night on a friday/saturday night >>>>

hugging him from behind too 💔💔💔

I'm not like trying to infantilize him, he's just a softie for u

stealing shopping carts and bringing them back to skate locations is just a tradition

a lot of times Ray and Fuckshit are busy and they leave ruben and stevie with you so you guys are basically a little family doing fun shit

skating around town, going to the public pool, chilling inside gas stations, renting movies, trauma dumping etc

you're literally just ruben and stevies parents

the ultimate comedy group too 💀

shit, you, fourth, fuckshit and ray are actually way too funny when you're super drunk/high at parties

like you'll be in your own corner watching over ruben and stevie playing uno and start talking about testicul bombs and radioactive cum??? (based on a true story)

alr that's all I got I hope u enjoyed LOL

[literary-motif]

Bi-ased

Jonah x Reader

You come out as bi to Jonah. It takes a lot of effort.

“Is there something you want to tell me?” Jonah asked, his gaze unwavering as he looked at you from across the table. 

You squirmed in your seat. Were you that obvious?

You had tried to work up the courage to tell him for the better part of two days now, but somehow the words would not leave your lips. It was making you anxious and stressing you out because you wanted to tell him, and your nervousness was, quite frankly, entirely absurd.

He had come out to you as pan a while ago, and so offhandedly that you nearly missed it. To him, it must not have been a great deal at all — or maybe he was just immensely comfortable around you — and while you loved him greatly, there was still a part of you that descended into panic when you thought about telling him you were bi.

It was not that you were anxious about his reaction — you knew he would smile fondly and thank you — but the act of telling him. Coming out, especially to a person who meant the world to you, was never easy. 

“I—” you stuttered, averting your gaze to the plate of pasta he had cooked. “No.”

Jonah narrowed his eyes. “Really?” he began, tilting his head, “because you have been squeamish recently and I see you open your mouth to begin a conversation only to snap it shut a moment later.”

“Maybe you looked wrong,” you said, taking a sip of water to distract yourself from the nervousness you felt boiling up again. Your hands were clammy, and your heart felt like it wanted to carve its way out of your chest. You felt sick from anxiety.

Something must have shown on your face because Jonah put down his fork to take your hands in his. “Hey,” he said gently, concern shining in his eyes, “you’re alright. There is no need to tell me anything you don’t want to, babe.”

You sighed. “I know,” you murmured. 

If you didn’t do it now, you felt like the words would never leave your lips. Jonah looked so comforting and genuine, the corner of his mouth twisting into a minuscule smile as you searched his gaze. He squeezed your hands reassuringly. That was the final push you needed.

“I’m—” you cleared your throat. Shit. You felt your heart hammering in your chest and your hands trembling slightly in his grip.

Jonah smiled, hiding his concern in favor of reassuring you. “You can tell me anything,” he said, massaging small circles into the back of your hands as he felt them tremble. “Take your time.”

You sat there in silence, concentrating on his touch. The only sound you heard was the clock ticking away noisily on the wall next to you, and your gradually slowing heartbeat. With every second ticking by, it felt like the words got harder and harder to say. It felt as if you had missed your window to tell him. 

There was something within you that did not dare to break the silence, and you closed your eyes to fight back the tears of frustration stinging in them. 

This was not how you had wanted this to go. You had planned to drop it casually, maybe when it came up in one of the series you watched with him, maybe when he made a joke about his own queerness. You wanted him to know what you identified as. You wanted to share that part of your identity with him and you knew that he would love you all the more for it. So why was this so hard?

“I can hear you beat yourself up over this,” he whispered, raising your hands to his lips and placing a kiss against each knuckle. “Would you like me to help?”

You swallowed thickly, taking another deep breath as your heart picked up again. “Help how?” you asked, not meeting his eyes. The warmth washing over you at his gentle kisses did nothing to ease your anxiety. 

He hummed, thinking up something. “Let’s play it like a guessing game,” he said, shooting you a calming smile. His patience was inexhaustible when it came to you, and you saw all the love and care he had for you in his fond expression. “That way you don’t have to say it, but you can tell me.”

You nodded, squeezing his hand as you waited for the first question. 

Jonah thought for a moment, looking at the pasta. “Is it about sexuality or gender?” he asked.

“Sexuality,” you said, biting your lip. “How did you know?” 

He chuckled, looking up at you. “I’ve been there,” he said. “It might not have looked like it, but it took me a while to come out to you. I was so nervous I don’t think I slept well for days after making up my mind about it. How many stripes does your flag have?”

You looked at him in shock. From the way he had said it, you never would have guessed that it took him any effort at all to reveal that part of his identity to you. “I didn’t know,” you said, suddenly feeling stupid for not recognizing his struggle. 

“I’ve been told I hide my nervousness well,” he said lightly, squeezing your hand. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Three,” you said, a part of you eager now to tell him. 

Jonah thought for a moment, going through the pride flags in his head. “Are we the same?” he asked. 

“No, there’s a difference,” you replied, fiddling with his fingers. 

“Oh,” Jonah exhaled. You looked up at him to find the fond smile you had expected. “Pink, purple, and blue?” 

“Yes, I’m bi,” you said, finding the term to roll off your lips almost easily now. 

“That’s great! I love you,” he said, beaming. He released your hands to get up, circling the table and pulling you into a tight hug. “Thank you for telling me,” Jonah said, holding you tightly against his chest and allowing you to bury your head in the crook of his neck. “I know it’s not easy. Thank you so much for trusting me with this, babe. I am so proud of you.”

Your arms tightened around him and you felt tears of gratitude blur your vision as you took in his words. You knew that you could rely on him for anything, you would always be safe with him. Jonah loved you as you were, and you loved him the same. 

[toasterbunnicula]

Mass Effect Character Sexualities because I want to project

(Partly headcanon, bi-ased, personal opinion)

Ashley: straight, formerly homophobic until she realized that most of her Normandy crew mates were gay

Garrus: bi energy, its simply unfair to our gay guys for such an amazing and hot character to not go both ways. Ive also seen too much Garrus/Thane/Shepard fanart to see him any other way

Liara: obviously bi, I hc that she was confused when she first encountered homophobia because it simply doesn’t exist in asari culture (closest thing is the asarixasari stigma)

Wrex: for some reason I see him as bi? I have no idea where I got this but I want to see a tough, old warrior casually mentioning being into both men and women and not caring at all about it (even though I think krogan culture probably wouldn’t approve)

Tali: for my sake as a helpless bi simp, I see her as under the umbrella, but doesn’t realize it. Like me before I came out, Tali would say “yeah she’s really pretty and I want to hang out with her and hug her and stare at her but I’m not gay or anything.” You are. You are gay. I think it would be in character for her to completely miss the fact that she’s into girls as well as men

Joker: straight. The kind of straight to make jokes about his friends’ sexualities, but not mean anything by it. He goes to pride every June with his wife EDI (who I will get to)

Jacob: I honestly can’t believe that he was originally intended to be bi, I just can’t see him into men unless I squint. It’s hilarious that they tried to make his male romance more like Brokeback Mountain so it’d be accepted

Miranda: I’ve seen a headcanon on Pinterest about Miranda having internalized homophobia because it doesn’t line up with her view of genetic perfection, something she’s established to be insecure about. I think it would make perfect sense for her character. I think it’s easy to see her as a lesbian practicing het-comp, especially with how awkward her initial flirting with Shepard is, but there are more scenes in her romance that feel authentic than there are that feel performative, so I’m inclined to say she is bi/pan/omni/etc.

Mordin: I’m pretty sure his asexuality is canon. I also think that he’s aromantic as well, but can objectively assess beauty/attractiveness well. For example, his film noir short story in the Citadel DLC involves a hookup with Aria. I personally believe that is him saying “yeah, she’s attractive, and if I were into women, I’d smash”

Zaeed: he gives off straight uncle who would punch a homophobe for you but otherwise doesn’t know how to interact with you after you’ve come out and tries a little too hard to acknowledge your sexuality but it’s definitely well-meaning (think the “anyone could be they!” scene from Brooklyn Nine-Nine)

Grunt: straight and supports his bi parents (Shepard and Garrus/Thane/Tali/Liara), wears rainbows at Pride for them, and regularly headbutts homophobes

Jack: I’m forever salty about them erasing her pansexuality. Also she and Miranda should’ve kissed

Kasumi: also gives off pan energy. She definitely feels like the type to not care about gender at all- as long as they’ve got muscles, that’s all that matters to her

Thane: pan energy

Samara: as established, Samara is bisexual

Legion: ace, non-binary (goes with people using he/him based on its masculine voice, pronouns are they/it)

Kelly: she said so herself, she doesn’t care about race/species or gender, all that matters is the person 💖💛💙

EDI: something about Sentient AI Who People Initially Don’t Trust Until She Gets A Humanoid Body That People Can Better Associate With Her reads to me as a trans allegory. Obviously, she’s not trans, but the vibes are there. Many times, people are suspicious of trans women until they transition and pass more as cis, which is similar to EDI’s story. She learns more about herself after her body changes, and others start to appreciate her more and have an easier time referring to her with she/her pronouns. As for her sexuality, she doesn’t seem to lean any particular way to me. She doesn’t seem like the type who’d use labels, even though it would make sense for her to “categorize” herself. I’d say she’s unlabelled- definitely into men, with her relationship with Joker

James: as much as I wish we could get gay gym bro representation, James is great as he is, being a masculine straight guy who’s best friends are openly gay (Cortez) and bi (Shepard)

Traynor: lesbian (canon), definitely into women who can crush her head under their heel but also has a dominant side herself

Cortez: gay (canon)

Diana: that annoying and popular bi girl you secretly had a crush on but didn’t want to because she was intimidating and popular

[subhumanselflover]

anji nsfw headcanons pretty pretty pretty ple ase 🙏🙏 Im loving thr work btw keep it UP!!!!

note: you are soooo in luck because i have thought abt this one before.. also, thank you!! <3 encouragement and kind words like this for realsies keep me going :3

Anji Mito NSFW Headcanons!

First thing's first, sex with Anji is SO fun.

Anji strikes me as the type of dude who is down for just about anything, and he is down to get FREAKY.

Dominant, submissive, switching halfway through? He's so down.

Enjoys experimenting with sex toys and various kinks. Definitely doesn't mind starting a bit of a collection.

He's also not afraid to laugh during sex, I think. A joke or two may slip, it's just fun more than anything. Not awkward, just good clean (well.. maybe not so much clean) fun.

Very willing to please. If you want to try something specific, he's always down to try!

I think he's the type to enjoy just about anything as long as he's with you. He likes both giving and receiving, so he won't be complaining either way.

Very vocal too. He pants, moans, even whimpers if you hit the right spot.

If you call him pretty, you'll have him blushing and.. maybe something else as well ;3

I've kept the experimentalist stuff mostly vague so that any kink can be sort of inserted .. however, I do think Anji would enjoy wax play.

[thedarkcknight]

Day 21 Say Goodbye (ASE) FEM!READER

Y/N’S POV

It was a normal day for Sean and I.

I was helping Sean get ready to record his halloween pumpkin carving video for his youtube channel Jacksepticeye.

As we were getting ready to film the video Sean looked at his closet I had noticed that he was looking.

“Sean?” I asked and he looked at me.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“Yeah I'm fine but I could have sworn I heard something in my closet.” Sean said.

I gave a confused look and walked over to the closet and opened the door and looked inside but there was nothing there I walked back out and closed the door.

“There is nothing in there.” I said.

After a minute we went back to getting ready to record once we had everything set up I got behind the camera and hit the record button on the video once it was recording I gave Sean a thumbs up then Sean started doing his intro.

Few minutes later

Sean was doing great with the video. I knew he wanted to scare his fans with his ego Anti and that was the lead of the video. We got to the point where he would put the knife to his throat and slice his throat once he did that and he laid his head down.

Everything went wrong, the lights started to go out and the camera started to mess up I ran over to Sean and tried to get him up but to no avail until he sat up and stared at me but he didn't say anything.

I started to freak out a little.

“Sean, are you okay?” I asked

He didn't say anything, he just got up and walked closer to me. I started to back up then I bolted for the door but I was caught and pushed against the wall with Sean standing over me.

“Sean, this isn't funny anymore.” I said “Can you please let me go because I am actually scared.” I added but he just stood there.

Then he got closer to my ear and whispered.

“Sean isn't here anymore sweetie, it's only Anti now.” Anti said then he started laughing.

I immediately got even more scared because I thought it was joke but I was so wrong then Anti pulled out a rag and put it over my face I tried to fight it but I had already breathe in what was on the rag and I fell unconscious but I was caught by Anti and the last thing I heard was.

“You are mine and only mine nobody, not even Sean can have to so you better Say Goodbye because you will never escape me.” Anti Said.

Then there was nothing.

Wrote: Me

[shoko-komi]

The Komi Report - Communication 450

Komi is a day early!? This week in Komi Can't Communicate:

Broth is sampled...

...and dreams are dashed upon the stones.

Read It: Mangareader Mangakakalot Viz Media (North America Exclusive) Mangadex (English updates are dead, but there’s the backlog; and Spanish + Portuguese language updates)

I was caught completely by surprise this morning when I woke up and had a notification from the r/komi_san discord server (I exclusively use it for the new chapter notifications. All other notifications are muted and I never go in there because I value my sanity aklsdnlkasndlaksnd).

Now that tensions within the broth crew have been loosened they can get into the favourite pastime of friends everywhere - good-natured bickering.

Nanoda was so timid when she first appeared, so it's really nice to see her coming out of her shell.

I've only eaten good restaurant ramen once - other than that it's been 2 minute stuff - so I don't know what to make of this smelly-ramen vs unsmelly-ramen conflict. Where do you stand?

My girl is flopping so hard at this aksdlkansd.

I might have a hard time explaining this one, but; I love seeing Komi fail. She tried her best to settle the ramen dispute but doesn't know what to do and is sort of useless.

Part of it is I want her to learn that she doesn't need to be problem solver girl all the time, and her friends will like her and want her around even if she isn't "usefull". She's a leader among her peers but it's ridiculous to put everything on her own shoulders, and her peers can solve their own problems such as in the case of the broth. All Komi needs to do to be valuable is be there.

The other part of it is my sadism flaring up.

Really funny that she blames him here. A girl needs her tantrums

Only a brief glimpse of them..... Oda you tease me.....

Also add an entry to the list of left-handed Sukida appearances

My complements to tumblr user fareasterncurlew for this infographic which I think about every day

Classic Najimi gag

Miwa Omojiri my beloved, hello again. Also Tsubo is so me... I would be laughing so hard....

Such heart-breaking news after all their hard work. I love how the camaraderie of the class keeps them in good spirits!!! So many times I've been in a bad situation but I've felt alright because I could laugh about it with good company.

It brings a tear to my eye....

This is really funny but also!! Ogiya comforting Kori is super nice after them being recently at odds. Kori blended into the group so quickly after they figured him out.

The culture festival!!!! AAAAAA I'm excited

We've been shown this beautiful glimpse of what Hiki and the girls are up to. Aaaahh, maid cafes. Literally what would we do without them?

Oda I'm still waiting for a follow up to the Susumi/Hiki yuri...... and I want Yamai/Nakanaka band yuri.... and I want SukiYama yuri.... Oda give me yuri please I'm starved Oda I'm starved to death and dying fatally.......

I hope the culture festival is 50 chapters long and every character is featured and has a super funny joke and there's lots of yuri and wakai dies mysteriously between chapters and is never mentioned again and we find out the details of the Ase/Naruse kiss and Benujit Spopo appears and Tadano is force-femmed permanently and there's happiness, free, for everyone!!!!! And no one is left behind!!!!

Stay safe! I'll see you next week!

[sweetangelanon]

sorry gang i have i have not been doing well im sitting here laying in the dark able to hear lil sibs boyfriend an them giggling and talkin an okay im a hater. IM A HATER!

I know why im mad its like they bring this bitch over every day multiple times a day i don't know this guy i jsut i want to be home and feel relaxed knowing that i can chilll in thee house an there is no PERSON I DO NOT KNOW around. i can't go out here like that and OTHER TIMES JUST BRINGS THIS BITCH OVER WITH ME NOT HAVINGA CLUE AND IM OUT HERE IN MY PJ'S AND IM LIKE H EY HEY IM TRYING TO CHILL WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU BROUGHT HIM OVER AGAIN !??!?

I was out here in my boxers bro............ i can't be doing this....

p l e ase.... pelase i just....... i just want to relax... at home with the knowledge and safety of knowing who is around and if i have to mask or not oough oughh

them an their dirty jokes too like I DON'T WANNA KNOWWW YOU ATE THEM OUT IM GOING TO CRY THIS IS THE LAST THING I WANT TO THINK ABOUT I ALREADY HAD THE HORRIBLE REALIZATION OF WHY THEY GOT AN ELECTRIC TOOTH BRUSH I DO'T WANNA I DON'T WANNA ANYMORE

like hes he's not a bad guy he's fine like average guy i just need time to decompress like please.. please... have some days when when he is not here im goij nvm im just gonna curle up into a ball and cry or smth

[fluffskizeu]

Littles (2)

Littles (1)

Tampaknya Chan sudah lebih segar ketimbang kekasihnya yang masih terduduk di ranjang kamar, entah kejadian mendadak hari ini membuat otaknya berjalan lambat.

Setelah membereskan kekacauan di kasurnya, ia melangkah ke luar kamar. Pria bermata kecil itu terlihat bercanda gurau dengan dua keponakan perempuannya yang sudah duduk rapi di meja makan.

Perhatiannya teralih saat matanya bertemu dengan si gadis yang memperhatikannya diam.

“Uh, they can eat this right? I found it there”

Laki-laki itu menunjuk pada tas kecil yang ditinggal kakak perempuannya tadi, gadis itu kemudian mengangguk dan ikut duduk bersama gadis-gadis kecil itu.

Memperhatikan cara bicara Chan yang otomatis berubah ketika berbicara dengan keponakannya. Intonasinya lebih pelan dan.. menarik? Lucu.

Hatinya juga sedikit lega melihat interaksi hangat si kembar dengan pria itu. Bahkan Chan tak segan menadahkan tangannya untuk Anne yang tidak sengaja menggigit bawang yang tidak disukainya.

He’s a lot more than she knows.

“Watching you like this makes me feel like they’re your nieces, not mine” she joked.

“Hmm? What do you expect me be like?”

Tanya balik Chan, yang dijawab dengan gelengan kecil membuat pria itu tertawa.

“Sorry for bothering your rest, you girls too— say sorry to him for barging the room”

Kedua anak-anak itu melihat ke arah Chan yang langsung merubah ekspresinya.

“Na-na-nahh.. Babe I told you it’s okay, it’s fine- no need to say sorry or else I will be..”

Sengaja membuat nada bicaranya panjang membuat kedua anak kecil itu ikut memperhatikan menunggu apa yang akan ia lanjutkan.

“Be what?” Anna said.

“I’ll be angry if you say sorry- not your fault! I’ll be more than happy if you come visit us often!”

Lanjutnya beriringan dengan senyum sumringahnya yang membuat keduanya tergelak. Jauh beda dengan reaksi kekasihnya yang masih terdiam.

Chan mendekat ke arahnya dan sedikit membungkuk di belakang bangku gadisnya, berbisik sesuatu padanya.

“Don’t worry too much okay? I swear I’m not annoyed at all, they’re all happy and having fun here - that’s what matters okay?”

— Cup

He pecked her cheek when none of the girls were paying attention, busy joking with each other while eating their breakkie.

Mata perempuan itu terbelalak dan reflek menepuk pipi Chan di sampingnya, membuat laki-laki itu tertawa geli.

Entah bagaimana cara kekasihnya membuat hari yang dikiranya akan runyam karena suasana tak biasa di rumahnya berubah menjadi tenang.

Ketiganya sedang menonton serius acara anak-anak yang diputar di layar televisi di ruang tamu. Hatinya lega belum ada kekacauan selain suara-suara tadi pagi, ia melanjutkan kegiatannya untuk membersihkan rumah.

Ia tidak lagi terheran bagaimana kedua anak kembar itu terlihat nyaman dengan orang asing yang baru menemui mereka hari ini.

It’s Chan, her Chan.

Kepalanya sekilas menoleh pada Anne yang entah sejak kapan duduk di pangkuan laki-laki itu, sementara Anna bersandar pada lengan besarnya, matanya masih tak lepas dari tayangan di depan.

Pria itu memainkan rambut lembut Anne di depannya, sesekali mendekatkan hidungnya untuk mencium wangi lembut dari shampoo yang dipakainya. Tangannya mencoba menyilang-nyilang beberapa helai rambut yang ada dipegangannya. Mencoba untuk mengepang.

Pandangan si gadis tak bisa terlepas dari pemandangan hangat itu, Chan tersenyum dan tertawa sendiri yang berkali-kali gagal membentuk kepangan, sementara kedua anak itu masih tak bergeming.

She chuckled to herself, cute.

Dan tentu saja, bukan saudara kalau sehari tidak bertengkar. Seperti sekarang contohnya, perempuan itu buru-buru berlari dari dapur ke arah ruang tamu.

“I wanna play with the doll!”

“I have it first!!”

Keduanya sama-sama meninggikan suara, memegang ujung-ujung boneka mencengkramnya dengan kuat dengan tangan kecilnya.

Baru saja ingin melangkah mendekat, Chan tiba-tiba keluar dari kamar yang nampaknya baru saja selesai mandi. Segera mendekat pada tempat kejadian perkara.

Ia berjongkok untuk menyamakan tingginya dengan kedua anak itu. Ikut memegang boneka yang diperebutkan mereka.

“Okay-okay, no doll if you both keep screaming to each other. Anna, did you play with it first or your sister did?” He questioned, the situation got more tense because Chan changed the way he spoke.

One of the sisters sobs as she pointed to her sister.

“Okay then, Anne can play with the doll for 10 minutes and give it to Anna, if you still want to play with the doll you could wait 10 minutes until Anna finished her turn, does that sound okay?”

Anna shook her head disagreed, tears began to spill streaming down her cheeks.

“I want it now… “

Chan shook his head, giving the doll to Anne and picked Anna up on his arms, taking her inside the bedroom where the aunt also followed to see the situation.

Chan memeluk gadis kecil itu membiarkannya menangis sesugukan, menenggelamkan wajahnya yang memanas pada pundak Chan sementara pria itu mengelus dan mengusap punggung kecilnya. Kekasihnya menatap pria itu dengan ekspresi bingung, bingung bagaimana menenangkannya.

Sementara pria itu mengangguk kecil padanya pertanda ia sudah tahu apa yang akan ia lakukan.

Lima menit berjalan akhirnya tangis sesugukannya reda, berani menghadap pria besar di depannya yang sigap menghapus jejak air matanya dengan ibu jarinya.

“Hey.. you know.. It’s five minutes more until your turn.. wanna watch something so you can watch while waiting?”

She nodded with a red face and unstable breath, while he kept rubbing in circles on her tiny back to calm her down.

Suasana kembali terkontrol berkat Chan.

Tak terasa pagi berganti malam, padahal kekasihnya bukan tipe yang akan tidur terlalu pagi. Seperti sekarang di jam 8 malam, lampu kamar sudah mati. Pria itu tidur di kasur tambahan yang di letaknya di samping kasur utama yang memuat kedua gadis kecil dan gadisnya.

Keduanya berada di samping kanan kiri tantenya, tentu mereka tidak akan langsung tertidur, ada saja pertanyaan-pertanyaan aneh yang keluar dari mulut kecil itu. Kalau dirinya tak bisa menjawab, maka Chan akan tiba-tiba membuka mulutnya dan mengarang untuk menjawab.

Setelah perempuan itu membacakan tiga cerita pengantar tidur, akhirnya tidak ada lagi suara atau pertanyaan aneh yang terdengar.

“Chan.. are you asleep?” She whispered.

“Not yet”

Gadis itu perlahan merangkak untuk berpindah. Berusaha meminimalisirkan guncangan agar tidak membangunkan si kembar.

Chan yang peka pun menggeser sesikit posisinya agar kekasihnya bisa menyelipkan dirinya dekat dengannya. Ia meraba wajah pria itu yang membuatnya tertawa kecil, menjangkau pipinya lalu mencium bibirnya di tengah gelapnya kamar.

He giggled.

“Thankyou for helping me today, didn’t know I could survive this day”

Pria itu melingkarkan tangannya pada pinggang gadisnya membawanya tubuhnya mendekat.

“Sorry for taking your rest day” she sighed.

“It’s so much refreshing rather than sleeping all day you know?” He joked and kissing her cheek.

“I swear you’re going to be a good dad”

“So do you, you’re going to be a good mom I believe”

“They listened to you well”

“Uhumm”

Gadis itu bangun pagi lebih awal untuk menyiapkan keperluan kedua keponakannya sebelum mereka terbangun, ibunya akan menjemput pagi ini juga. Mungkin setelah jam sarapan.

Setengah jam berlalu, ia kembali ke dalam kamar di mana semuanya masih tertidur termasuk Chan, padahal sinar matahari juga sudah menyeruak masuk dari gordennya.

Entah sejak kapan kedua gadis itu berpindah, bersandar pada lengan Chan yang dijadikan bantal dengan mata masih terpejam, bahkan Anne memeluk tubuh yang berkali-kali lipat lebih besar darinya dari samping, memeluknya seperti guling membuat kakinya berada di atas perut Chan.

Couldn’t help herself to not take some photos to capture this warm moment that warmth her heart.

Lalu ia mendekat dan mengecup bibir Chan, membuatnya perlahan tersadar dari alam mimpi lalu kebingungan dengan situasi ini.

“Oh..Gosh..Since when they—“

“Don’t know baby hahaha wake them up for breakfast okay? You too get up”

“Hey-hey- princesses time to wake up! Breakfast is ready! Heard your mom gonna pick you up”

Perlahan keduanya terbangun tapi masih belum mau berpindah posisi, yang membuat Chan gemas dan menggelitik keduanya membuat kamar itu dipenuhi suara tawa mereka.

Sampai akhirnya kakak perempuannya kembali berkunjung untuk menjemput, terlihat juga Chan yang langsung akrab menyapa sementara perempuan itu hanya mendengarkan dari dapur.

“I think he’s ready for twins”

Tidak tahu sejak kapan atau darimana tiba-tiba kakaknya bercanda dibaliknya, dan tertawa kecil. Ia menunjuk ke ruang sebelah yang bisa dilihat dari dapur di mana ketiganya sedang fokus menonton sesuatu dengan Chan yang ada di tengah memegang ponselnya.

“He’s so sweet to the kids hm? I think you both couldn’t wait it for too long now?”

She teased and laughed.

Her sister wasn’t wrong, she could see it too, Chan is a good dad material, at least that’s what she has seen for a full day.

[doomboy911]

Theme Mammalian

Prompt List Smaugust

Commentary

So I saw my line up of fish and mammals and I thought ooh a whale dragon for fish would be great but whales aren't fish they're mammals so the idea spawned for this theme. I will say I spent half the day working on tomorrow's theme not today's theme before realizing I had mixed them around. I went for some lovely blues and greens and looked at whales from above. Beautiful creatures making for a beautiful dragon. I like to imagine people think its a joke dragon because its breath weapon is bubbles until they're suddenly hit with a ton of air.

Palette Picked

[shuicheese]

I wanna talk about Kinich's story quest (mainly ONE thing and I'm sure you know exactly what it is) because honestly, something happened to me (spoilers ahead!)

I'm also gonna post some stuff I posted on my twitter because I have the most disorganized thread known to God rn but

firstly before anything;

this man came home early pity I've never been so happy bc I'm trying to be F2P but story time!

I didn't pay too much attention .

bHFVHJVFVFVF OKAY BUT LISTEN I WAS HALF-PAYING ATTENTION UNTIL I SAW THE SAURIANS WITH CUTE HATS, MY FLYING ANEMIC ANT AJAW, AND THEN,,,, H I M .

HYV UPDATE THE GAME N OW N OW. NOW. NOW. PLE ASE. P̴̜̾L̴͛ͅȄ̷̜A̶̪͠S̸͓̐Ē̶̦.̴̖́ ̷̯̅ P̷̦̍̕L̴̬͂��ͅ ̵̠͗E̷͕̎̚Ą̴̫͆S̴̞͋Ȩ̵̀̄.̸̧͉̈́̓

I'm so ill over NPCs I'M VERY ILL OVER THIS ONE (I MADE A JOKE SAYING HE'LL BE IN NATLAN WHAT THE H EL L)

TO SAY I WAS EXCITED AND DEMANDED AN UPDATE WAS AN UNDERSTATEMENT BC I PLAYED THIS BEFORE KINICH;S UPDATE.

Finally, the update happened, I tried to be prepared

Before we get to the main crumbs, let me just.

evil is stored within him and tbh with y'all I'd love to hold him, and take a big bite out of him.

this is your evil dragonlord and his human pet

That was quick! Enjou tim

we are SO BACK every nyan, WE ARE SO BACK WITH THIS

BITCH WASN;T EVEN AMUSED AT ALL WITH THIS REVELATION

WHAT HAPPENED TO HELLO? WHAT HAPPENED TO GOOD EVENING??? GOOD MORNINGS??? WHY ARE YOU RUNNING AWAY SO SOON I MISSED YOU???? I'VE BEEN LOYAL TO YOU DESPITE SEEING THAT BAPTIST AND THE OTHER ABYSS RATS DURING THE ANNUAL DAINS QUESTS WDYM "WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING HERE"????

I'm never one to ever say what gift is "better" but tbh w y'all, having Enjou as a gift is the best thing known to man-kind and I don't think Kinich predicted that I wasn't going to harm this man

Love is so real I'm so full of it

I wanna read some with you I think we can personally actually recreate some of them (they better be halal I am not going to perform or display any haram behaviors that's out of the QUESTION.)

i named this file "i'm trying to bend my neck"

this is the Joseph Joestar tactic I know exactly what you are, you heathen

Sanka Enjou chat is over for now because I want to say I appreciate Kongamato so much, look at him, he eepie..... If anyone tries to harm him I will kill everyone :)

I'd like an act 2 and while we're at it, act 3

I genuinely need to look back I barely paid attention and it shows

[popculturebuffet]

Next up for Cartoon Network era of shows, who is your favorite character from each of late 2000s-early 2010 era shows (I included the final 3 that began before the big logo change in May 29, 2010 and rebrand to make the next one less heavy since a lot premiered in 2010-11) you've seen like: Chowder, Transformers Animated, Ben 10 Alien Force, The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack, The Secret Saturdays, Adventure Time, Ben 10 Ultimate Alien, and Generator Rex?

I"m also going to throw a brucey bonus one in here that wasn't produced by Cartoon Network, and i'm making an exception for. (Transformers Animated was it turns out so it wasn't needed but I incldued it in the teaser just inc ase) I als oonce again thank you for doing this

Chowder: A hard choice but the boy himself is such a fleshed out and hilarous character and i'ts a shame his actor retired, though I respect it. CH Greenblat's first show stilll holds up: intensely silly, whimsically creative and deeply hilaroius. Outside of the nightmare that was panini, this show is still a great time and well worth yours.. and one I go back to frquently

Transformers Animated: It's been a while so i'm not firmly sure so i'll go with Wreck Gar, he dares to be stupid. Also having Weird Al voice him was too brilliant and the concpet work. But the show itself is amazing, a creative reboot that found new ways to do the autobots war against the evil force sof the deceiptcons by making optimus a rookie, having the tick be his asshole superior, and our heroes a ragtag bunch against a far stronger deciptcon army and delightful supervillians. I love this so much.

Ben 10 Alien Force: Julie: Sh'es a well done love intrest with a pet blob dog thing. Easy pick. Alien wise it's jetfire. As for alien force itself.. it's my faviorite of the four ben 10 shows i've seen (i.e. everything but the reboot). Or at least seasons 1 and 2 are, season 3 is a bit of a mess. It's clear they had a solid intresting if retcon heavy plan for seasons 1 and 2, giving us an intresting and horrifying meanace in the high breed, the glory that is parodox and a great main trio. Though as I said season 3 is a hot mess. But compared to the not terrible but still messy things to follow it's at least more consitent.

Flapjack: Peppermint Larry whose the right mix of hilarious and creepy. As for the show itself.. i'm not a fan. I respect it's impact on animation, top notch vocal cast, and gorgeous animation.. but it's too much of a gross out show and deeply disturbing for my taste. It's a me thing, but yeah the show lost me after a while, but i'ts not bad just not my forte.

The Secret Saturdays: Doyle. You combine will fredle's Terry McGuinnis voice with a badass bounty hunter , bad influence and fun uncle and you got a stew going. The series itself I badly need to revisit and is a fun adventure show with a well built cast, world and twist. Criminally underated and canceled before it's time, though still at least managing a satisfying finale.

Total Drama Island: The Brucey Bonus that's been on my mind since the reboot is currently airing in the us and i've watched half of it. (Need to go back and finish it that's on me etc). But while it wasn't made by cn so I wasn't going to obligate you to include it, I had to as before our next entry it was the big breakout for CN for a while. Flapjack was good and got praise over time and Chowder was well loved, but Total Drama was the big star for a bit. Faviorite is hard to pick, but for this season i'll go with gwen. Time would not be kind to her but teenage me couldn't get enough. And adult me can't get enough of the show, as it's well done, with only a few rough edges and season 1 is so good few other seasons have competed. It's got a great cast, great challenges and a lot of good jokes. And farts but that's Total Drama for you, you get numb to it.

Total Drama Action: Harold because he' smy boy, but really no one was on top game this season. This season is bad.. not as bad as some later seasons, but it's clear they had no real direction for it, gave up on their first antagonist halfway through, and derailed trent. While I was never big on trent and gwen, that whole fiasco leaves a bad taste in the mouth for the rest of the season and courtney's derailment, while not a stretch is a waste of a good villian turn by making her invincible. The film themeing is okay, but it's clear they were not ready for the sequel.

Adventure Time:Jake. I know same name and all that, but the guy just has chill dumbass energy for days, one of the best scenes in teh show (Jake , your president now), and is easily John DiMaggio's best performance. The show itself is excellent: it did stumble a bit after rebecca sugar left for something i'm sure we'll get to next time, but while I left the show after a while, it recovered and has since gone on to have two excellent spinoffs with more coming and a movie. The show wasn't perfect, but damn if it wasn't important to animation as a whole, saved cartoon network and generally just... slaps.

Ben 10: Ultimate Alien: This one's.. a bit more mixed. Character wise, Julie looses it, but Sir George picks it up as one of the franchises best villian, a knight who simply hasn't adapted to a far less simple world. Ultimate Alien itself.. is a mixed bag. The villian for the first half of season 1 is generic as fuck, though Kevin's return to evil was brilliant and while it had some weird bits (gee ben your really gonna kill your best friend huh?), it worked far better than it had any right too. The second arc likewise followed the pattern: started messy as hell, picked up well after with the forever knights ressurgence. It's not as messy as omniverse to a point, but it's just kinda okay overall. The ultimate transformation was a neat idea, Sir George is great but it has a lot of bad one offs, questionable decisions and a general lack of direction at times.

Generator Rex: Now bringing me the oppsite of the above, Generator Rex. Breach is my faviorite , from her creepy design , to her creepily perfect voice acting and redepemption arc (and weird chemistry with rex). The show itself though is underated: while it has minor tonal issues here and there (Having wacky shenanigans episode ina fairly horrifying setting and the rock soundtrack sometimes clashes), it compensates with a brilliant horrifying concept, a dumptruck of memorable characters too big to list here, and really going hard, exploring the implications of this fucked up world with whole cities turned evo, rex's parental substitue and secret agent buddy given orders to kill, and Rex struggling to find SOME normalcy. It's an underated classic that badly deserves a reboot at some point.

[si-bina]

Alhamdulillaah, I'm Blessed

Akhirnya, 23 Juni 2024 terlewati dengan baik, Alhamdulillaah. Ada apa sih?

Ahad lalu, agenda Reuni Akbar juga menyambut 20 tahun Harlah Perguruan Islam Ar-Risalah sukses dijalankan. Acara yang sudah diplanning sejak tahun lalu.

Jujurly, agenda ini tidak masuk proker Inarah masa bakti tahun ini. Karena kita tidak pede untuk mengangkat agenda-agenda skala besar. Banyak khawatir dan overthinking, serta tidak terbayangkan untuk menghadapi segala drama-drama persiapannya. Tapi terkadang tantangan itu ngga perlu dicari, tapi datang sendiri. Seperti agenda ini.

Di satu sisi, kita punya keinginan untuk mengadakan reuni yang melibatkan semua angkatan. Disamping juga dorongan para alumni yang juga ingin diadakan acara kumpul bareng di Ar-Risalah tercinta. Tapi karena over-thinking-feeling, jadinya 'ngga dulu deh'.

Ehh, ngga taunya di akhir tahun lalu, Ustadzah Siswati dengan senangnya mengabarkan kalau alumni mendapat slot acara di rangkaian agenda 20 tahun Ar-Risalah. Boleh buat agenda apa aja dan dapat support penuh dari PIAR. Ngga mungkin dong dibilang 'afwan zah, kayaknya ngga dulu' wkwk.

Syukurnya punya tim pengurus Inarah yang MasyaAllah; gercep dan sepertinya sangat suka tantangan wkwk (I love them so much, fillaah). Karena sudah di-challenge Ar-Risalah, so dengan semangat keberkahan yang menyala-nyala, kita sambut dengan Bismillaah. Allahu Akbar 🔥

Bertahap kita godok perencanaannya. Mulai dibayangkan, agenda seperti apa yang kita inginkan. Setelah itu, baru deh kita bentuk kepanitiaan internal dan rekrut dari eksternal (non pengurus). Awal bulan Mei lalu, baru deh terbentuk panitia Reuni Akbar 20 tahun Ar-Risalah ini. MasyaAllah, I'm blessed with this team! Love them so much (dikit-dikit love love :")

Tim yang mau saling bekerjasama, membantu yang kesulitan, meringankan yang keberatan, merangkul yang kebimbangan, dan memaklumi segala kekurangan. Paket komplit lah pokoke! Sepanjang ±2 bulanan ini dengan senang hati meluangkan waktunya untuk rapat-rapat (online, baru offline h-1), serta hal-hal lain demi menuntaskan amanahnya dengan maksimal. Tanpa pamrih! Tabaarakallaah.

And here it is!

Dimulai dengan agenda Bedah Buku Inarah (bersamamu kuhabiskan waktu) yang dipandu oleh Enky dengan pembicara para penulis; Rifdah, Muthi' dan Pranade.

Setelah itu dilanjutkan dengan ngobrol bebas dan makan siang bersama.

Setelah zuhur, talkshow bersama para asatidz (Ustadz Kamrizal, Ustadz Sholeh dan Ustadz Donis). Sorenya liga basket ceria (menang pulak alhamdulillaah). Malamnya ditutup dengan agenda malam keakraban. MasyaAllah, it was soo tiring but my heart was full. Full of love (love lagi :")

Memang speechless dibuatnya saking serunya MasyaAllah.

Apalagi di makrab seru-seruan. Dapat kelompok puhsepuh semua (1-2-5) dan hanya 1 orang yang agak jauhan di angkatan 12. Sebut saja namanya cipcip. So the group's name was cipcip & puhsepuh. Aseli gabut mamak-mamak. Semakin malam semakin aktif seperti k***i. Wkwkwkwk. Cipcip seperti diospek sama kakak-kakaknya. Tapi bagusnya, dia bisa ngikutin jokes mamak-mamak dan happy diusilin sama puhsepuh. MasyaAllah, semoga ngga trauma ya cipcip dan (moga) berhasil menambah warna kebaikan dalam perjalanan hidup cipcip (dan kami juga) kedepan. Allaahumma aamiiin.

Agenda 'resmi' berakhir pada malam itu, sekitar pukul 11 lewat. Setelah itu semua diarahkan ke asrama untuk bermalam dan beristirahat. Tapi tapi, perjuangan mamak belum selesai. Tantangan yang lebih berat sudah menanti, anak-anak (Asa-Alaa) awalnya sudah pada tidur. Ketika hendak dibawa ke kamar, mereka terbangun. Duh!

Setelah sampai kamar dan merapikan posisi kasur, Asa dan Alaa kembali diarahkan untuk tidur. Alhamdulillah Uda Asa lancar jaya. Tinggal adeknya nih. Padahal sudah jam 12. 'Alaa, ayok kuta bobok lagi'. Mau diayun katanya. Oke, tak ayun-ayun ni. Bismillaah. 30 menitan kemudian sudah terlelap di tangan, harus ditarok ni biar bisa ikutan istirahat karena lelah sudah all-out main basket tadi sore (wkwk).

Mulai diletakkan di kasur. Ups, terbangun. Gelisah guling sana guling sini, karena suasana baru kan. Ga tidur-tidur. Oke, dicoba ayun lagi. 30 menitan kemudian tak tarok lagi. Ups, terbangun lagi. Duh, gimana ya biar dia nyaman. Akhirnya diayun lagi, sambil megangin kipas angin Uda Asa. Barangkali jika diterpa angin sepoi-sepoi bisa lebih memberatkan kelopak mata (pikirku). Oke, bismillaah ayun lagi. 30 menitan kemudian, sepertinya sudah nyenyak. Bismillah, ditarok. Ups, meski sempat bergerak sedikit, alhamdulillaah berakhir juga drama ayun-ayun dini hari itu.

Mamak bisa istirahat. Tapi ternyata, istirahat tak segampang itu, ferguso! Mata tak hendak langsung terpejam. Setiap mata baru akan tertutup, pergerakan anak membangunkannya. Srekk srekk, bangun. Guling sana guling sini, bangun. Yaa Rabb, cukupkan yang sedikit ini. Pintaku dalam hati. Karena membayangkan besok mesti nyetir lagi, ngga mungkin kalo ngantuk.

Pagi yang syahdu dan sejuk di Ar-Risalah emang luar biasa ya. Sudah lama tidak kan. Sebelum subuh sudah terjaga (karena emang ngga bisa istirahat), memantau anak-anak dan yang lainnya. Satu persatu alumni pamit pulang, termasuk kami yang check-out sekitar pukul 9 pagi. MasyaAllah, soo meaningful dan unforgettable lah seharian dan semalaman kemarin. Semoga agenda dan perjumpaan kemarin semua diberkahi Allah. Menjadi pemberat amal kebaikan serta menjadi hujjah untuk mendapat rahmat dan keridhaan Allah.

Bersyukur banget Yaa Allah, atas izinMu wujudlah agenda ini. Thanks to my husband, babanya Asa Alaa, yang sudah support penuh dan memberi izin. Juga anak-anakku yang MasyaAllah. Diawal sempat ragu apa bisa hadir di agenda ini (karena jadi panitia pasti gabisa nyantai), salah satunya karena Asa dan Alaa. Mau dititip sama siapa kan? Bismillaah, dengan keyakinan kalau nanti bakal ada aja 'Ammah-Ammah' (para junior alumni) yang bisa dan mau ngajak mereka main, akhirnya diboyong juga mereka mendampingi mamaknya yang SC ini. Dan ternyata Alhamdulillaah, beneran banyak adik-adik yang bantu MasyaAllah (can't thank you enough sisters fillaah).

Jazakunnallaahu ahsanal jazaa' buat Inarah dan panitia tercinta. Para pembicara; Rifdah, Muthi' dan Nade dan tamu undangan. Dan yang sangat-sangat membuat haru, terimakasihku untuk semua alumni yang hadir dan yang mendo'akan kesuksesan acara ini, wabil khusus kakak-kakak d-fg; kak fatum, kak yola, kak lathifah, kak yani, kak anggun, kak yovi, kak alyani, kak siti, serta teman-teman radar dan adik-adik semua yang pengen banget disebutkan satu persatu, tapi sayangnya memori kepala mamak sudah riweuh buat mengingatnya wkwk.

Sekian dulu. Nanti kalau ada tambahan, tak edit-edit.

Barakallaah ❤️‍🔥