#ascended astarion x chosen durge

[kelandrin]

My favorite ascended astarion x durge dynamic is the one where durge is Astarion’s attack dog but also like a dog you let sleep on you as a puppy and played rough with and now they are larger than you, stronger than you, and still think they can do those things.

Astarion, sexy and condescending: Come here >:)

Durge: >:) *proceeds to crush that twink*

[smellsliketeenangst]

Act II vs Act III: Durge & Astarion

[paladintalis]

🩸🗡️ "Good, because selfless as I am, I really did not want to let you go." 🗡️🩸

[artsy-iru]

„So if you think that you're in love with me

Or is it just the whole idea

You must be sure that every single thing

Is what you believe in

Look at me what do you see?

Am I real or just a dream?

Am I something that you need?

Or just an image of me?“

Smol Durge Chosen Azalea x Ascended Astarion headcanon

[carooosa]

Bound by You: Love is Power, Love is Weakness

NOTE: THIS IS AN OUTDATED VERSION, PLEASE GO HERE TO SEE THE UPDATED VERSION

Part 2: Focus

Part 1 Here

Word count: 800 Rating: Explicit Pairing: Ascended Astarion x gn!AFAB Resist Durge/Reader Warnings: 18+, exhibitionism, vampire bites, oral fem!receiving AO3 link: Focus

Summary: Astarion decides to return the favor of distracting you from your duties. It's only fair, after all, that you experience the same difficulties he does.

Astarion is under the table, your skirt draped around his head. Ever since you had whined for more responsibilities as his consort, you have been planning the next social event: your anniversary as a couple as well as your anniversary for ruling over Baldur’s Gate. Astarion refused to let you out of his sight, though, and would often stand in the back of the room glaring at anyone who questioned your direction. You had begged him to not be in the room as it made your job harder, and while he refused, he propositioned a different idea instead: he would hide in the room. No one would see him, he promised. You readily accepted his compromise, not thinking much of the sultry look behind his eyes. 

And now, here you were, your vampiric lover with his face between your thighs as he rubbed his nose into your soaked small clothes, all the while trying to discuss the budgets for the different entertainment and food. You try to push his head away but that only makes him growl into you. The vibrations cause your breath to hitch, and one of your ladies-in-waiting asks if you’re okay.

You quickly brush them off, clearing your throat as you try to stand. Astarion grasps onto the back of your legs and yanks you closer to him. Now everyone around the table is looking at you with varying degrees of concern and annoyance. 

You ignore their gazes and instead try to focus on the document in front of you. Astarion begins to nip at your small clothes, slowly pulling them down your thighs. 

You try your best to regain control. “We need to make sure that we have the finest catering in the city. This is an important event aft-”

“Excuse me, Lady Ancunin, but we’ve already decided on the caterers for the event. We were discussing the placement of tables now,” someone interrupts.

You look back down at the paper in front of you and see that, yes , the catering has been chosen. You realize that Astarion hasn’t moved in a while and your mouth runs dry. You take a slow, deep breath in as you mentally prepare yourself for the torture that’s to come.

You begin to speak, “Yes, tables, that’s right-”

Astarion places gentle yet needy kisses on your inner thigh.

“The nobility should be close, but not too close-”

He moves to lick the space where your thighs meet your body, barely brushing past your entrance.

You pause, trying your best to suppress the moan that sits in the back of your throat.  “I want to have the table nearest to mine to have Karlach, Wyll, Shadowheart, Gal-”

Astarion bites down at the mention of his old friend and competition, causing a yelp to escape your lips.

“- Lae’zel would be nice too. Did I say Karlach? And Wyll?” Your words are starting to come out as pants.

As Astarion listens to your attempt at planning the event, he slowly starts to lick at the wound he made. He moves his tongue in circles, getting closer and closer to your entrance.

“No, we cannot have the Flaming Fists that close, that would cause-” you’re cut off mid-sentence as Astarion plunges his tongue into your folds and you involuntarily moan. The sound of slurping pierces the silence in the room as the attendants look at you. 

You instinctively clench your thighs around his head, pushing him deeper into you. As he eats you out like a starved man, his nose brushes into your clit. You imagine how he looks, hair damp from the heat underneath your skirt, eyes blown out from tasting your arousal

You lean back into your chair, rolling your hips into his face. You manage to utter out a small, “dismissed,” and the room is empty within seconds. Now that you’re alone, you throw your head back and let out all of the noises you’ve been holding inside. Astarion grips your thighs, his tongue hitting the perfect spot as he moves his head to stimulate your clit with his nose. You scream his name as he brings you to your climax, and he readily drinks up your juices. 

As you catch your breath, Astarion emerges from underneath your skirt. Somehow, he looks completely put together save for the dampness in his hair.

“I hope this makes you appreciate my ability to stay focused during meetings, my sweet.”

You’re unable to think of a witty reply or a chastising remark on his behavior. Instead, you reach out to him and grasp onto his shirt, your lips stopping just before you kiss him as you whisper, “More.”

Part 3 Here

[littlelovelyra]

Masterlist

AO3

Baldur's Gate:

Series:

The Change (Astarion x F!Tav)

Part One The Change

Part Two The First Move

Part Three The Danse Macabre

Part Four The Ritual

Part Five The Complication

Part 6 The Inconvenience

In Darkness, Hope Flickers (Ascended Astarion x F! Durge Named Lilah)

Chapter One - Mourning

Chapter Two - We need a Break

Chapter Three - Mine.

The Fall of the Chosen (Gale x F!Durge- Named Kylah)

Chapter 1

Chapter 2 A Moment in the Weave

Chapter 3 Temporary Bliss (loopholes)

__________

One Shots:

Now is not the time, nor the place (Gale x F!Tav)

The Overstay (Astarion x G/N!Tav)

That's Not the Plan (Astarion x F!Tav - Part of "The Change" storyline, just small moments of their relationship, can be enjoyed as a one shot though)

I'm With You (Astarion x F!Tav - Part of "The Change" story, again small moments of their relationship but can be read as one shot)

I Could Love You (Astarion x F!Tav)

__________________________

Dragon Age: The Veilguard

Of Chains And Crows (Lucanis x F Rook series)

Chapter 1: Little Crow

[astarionmademewriteit]

The Lovers

Spawn!Astarion x Durge f!Tav x Halsin (Minor role)

Cycles between Astarion and Tav POV

Rating: Mature themes (No smut)

Wordcount: 9.4k (Long one-shot)

Tags: Many many Act 3 spoilers, violent images, torture, self-loathing, depression, refusing to eat, eluding to SA, codependency, hurt/comfort, angst, blood drinking, injuries, brief mentions of sex (if you squint). If I missed a tag, let me know.

Summary: What started as a great day at the Circus of the Last Days ends with Astarion gaining insight from a fortune teller into his future as the ascendant vampire and Tav as Bhaal’s chosen. Astarion decides to face Cazador alone and keeps it a secret from Tav–slipping into the night and leaving only a small note. Halsin is there, promising to watch over Tav. However, Tav suffers in his absence (sometimes lashing out at Halsin), but Astarion knows it is better than the alternative–their collective demise and the loss of love.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

✧*̥˚ Astarion POV *̥˚✧

The Circus of the Last Days was teeming with excitement and laughter, children with face paint ran rampant through the grounds, weaving through the stalls where merchants yelled at passersby looking to make a pretty copper. Other stalls tried to sell the promise of financial abundance with the spin of a wheel, but it was all too easy for me to see they were rigged to steal money from the pockets of the idiotic. Their tactful manipulation is reminiscent of the days I spent as Cazador’s puppet, luring people in with the luxury of pleasure beyond their wildest imaginations.

It was not a bad business strategy, to be sure. But stealing straight from the pockets of the unaware was a quicker solution to our financial needs. I look towards Tav, watching the way her eyes scanned the crowd with quiet excitement. A smile plays on my lips. After all the danger we have faced, the chaotic nature of our adventures has not dimmed the light in her eyes–the happiness that paints her aura in such beautiful vibrant colors.

I wish the same could be said for myself. I can practically feel the looming shadow of the Szarr palace on the horizon, its threatening presence taunting me at every turn–reminding me of the centuries of pain, torment, and abuse Cazador subjected me to. My fists tighten, and I try to steady my breathing lest I spiral into a dark and violent rage–revenge feeding the anger that once laid dormant in the pit of my stomach. I can almost feel the sting of his blade carving his infernal contract into my back, blood slipping from my back in blooming rivulets where steel meets flesh. I grind my teeth at the memory.

“Astarion, look!” Tav squeals with childish glee snapping me out of my tortured reverie. Murderous as she was, her innocent nature overrode her violent tendencies in this moment. Her bloodlust replaced by the overwhelming need to momentarily forget our places in the world–the parts we were meant to play. I follow her gaze and spot a fortune teller’s tent nestled between two stalls selling enchanted jewelry and exotic furs, their claims of authenticity are laughable. To the untrained eye, one would easily fall for such fraudulent claims, but I knew better. Honestly, how this group would survive without my expertise was beyond me.

Tav closes the distance between us and looks up at me with rounded eyes and a pouty lip, “We should try it!” My mouth twitches, threatening to split my face in two. 

“Darling,” I warn playfully, “Need I remind you that half these booths are wasteful ventures that we should avoid? We might as well throw our money in the garbage. Besides,” I drag a knuckle down her jawline to the base of her throat, “I’m the only one who should be draining you dry.” My words have their desired effect, her skin flushing–the smell of her blood carried on the warm breeze wafts to my nostrils. The elation I feel from her scent alone makes my mouth water.

A sharp raspy voice cuts through our moment, “You. Vampire.” I snap my head towards the fortune teller’s tent, a wrinkled decrepit woman leers at me with glassy eyes. Her long robes draped to the ground and her back is hunched painfully behind her, diminishing her height by at least a foot.

“In the flesh,” I bow sarcastically in her direction. Uncertainty washes through my entire body  and I feel Tav stiffen at my side.

“We have much to discuss regarding your future,” She murmurs, her voice grates my ears in the most unpleasant ways.

I sneer, “I doubt you have anything worthwhile to spew, hag,” I growl coldly. I wasn’t about to fall for her thieving tricks. Our gold would be better spent elsewhere.

She wheezes out a laugh, “You will pay a heftier price without my help.” It’s as if she has read my mind. Probably just another party trick meant to lure people into spending money they do not have. However, something tugs at the back of my mind–warning me that she is true to her word.

Halsin moves to my side and places a burly hand on my shoulder, the weight only adding to my own doubts, “Hear the woman out, my heart,” he whispers, “I sense no deception from her.” Tav is nodding her head in agreement, her eyes wide with apprehension and anxiety, and I groan at their collective consensus. It was almost annoying having two people intent on drowning me with their unconditional care. Almost.

After a moment of quiet contemplation, I finally give in, “Fine, my dears,” I huff unenthusiastically, “But I expect to be showered in apologies when I come back empty-handed,” I roll my eyes.

 Halsin chuckles behind me, “Don't worry, my Star. Everything will be alright.”

“We'll be here, waiting for you,” Tav says on my other side, giving me a reassuring squeeze on the arm and a light kiss on the cheek.

I gulp and swallow my pride before entering the witch's tent. Incense wafts through the air, sending tendrils of smoke curling to the sky. Various charms hang from the walls and the shelves are littered with trinkets, tomes, and dead creatures in jars of liquid. It is all very pedestrian.

“Spawn,” the hag’s grotesque voice rings through the air snapping me out of my reverie, “Save your judgements for the future,” she gestures at an empty chair across from her, divided by a small table with a crystal ball centered in the middle. Her consistent peek into my thoughts was unnerving but not unexplainable considering the wall of potions seated behind her against the back of the tent. She most likely used a mind-reading potion. It felt more invasive than a stake in the ribs, to be fair.

I cautiously take a seat across from the hag, impatience brimming on my tongue, “Let’s just get this little performance over with.” I roll my eyes and take a relaxed pose, watching the hag expectantly.

“I can assure you, dear Astarion, that this is no performance,” she pins me down with her glassy stare, “Devils whisper in my ear, speaking of your demise. I rather think you should hear me out.”

Her words sway me slightly, the promise of a devil should not be heeded lightly, nor the promise of one’s demise. I huff exasperatingly, “Fine, spin me your tale of the future.”

She smiles lightly before fishing in the pockets of her robe, pulling out an ambiguous vial of clear liquid and reaching across the table, offering the strange elixir with an open palm, “Drink and we may begin.”

I eye the vial cautiously, a putrid smell wafts through the air, promising bitterness on the tongue. I snatch the vial from her hand and drink before I can change my mind. I am doing this for Tav and Halsin if nothing else. The bitter liquid slides down my throat with ease, souring my stomach immediately. Warmth immediately washes over me, rivaling the warmth I feel when drinking from the necks of my partners. 

My head begins to swim as magic rolls through my body in thick undulating waves, threatening to pull me under. I steady myself, gripping the side of the table in front of me for support as I ride out the arcane sensation. 

“Peer into the crystal ball, Astarion,” the witch commands, “I have much to reveal.”

I focus my eyes on the object in front of me, the crystal ball that was once clear suddenly swims with visions too quick for me to latch on to. The dizzying effects of the elixir begin to subside ever so slightly, and the images in the crystal ball begin to slow, flashing images of Cazador carving scars into my back with agonizing precision. I wince at the memories, feeling the sharp pain of torture carving into my back.

“Your former master, Cazador, has made an infernal pact with a devil it seems,” the hag rasps pragmatically.

“Yes, yes,” I huff through gritted teeth, ignoring the searing pain of my scars, “I already know he plans to complete the Rite of Profane Ascension. Tell me something I don’t know.” I ball my hands into fists, wishing to forget the torture Cazador put me through that night and willing away other, darker thoughts of being sequestered in a tomb–a year of darkness and pathetic attempts of escape.

The image of my scars reflected in the crystal ball dissipate and are replaced by images of my former targets–people I willingly lured to Cazador in the hopes that he would not punish me again, but instead finding new forms of punishment through using my body in ways that I would never have consented to if I hadn’t been chained to his power. Something is different about the victims that stare at me through the curved glass, their eyes are blood-red now, familiar scars mark their bodies, and they suffer behind gilded bars under the Szarr palace.

“Your targets still breathe, newly changed, serving as a blood sacrifice. Seven thousand souls writhe beneath the floors, facing their inevitable death.”

“T-they’re alive? But–how?” I manage to sputter, utterly bewildered by the information and the painful reality that has just been set before me. They have suffered decades–no, centuries–beneath the palace. I thought they were dead. They should be dead. But–why? Then the truth hits me like a ton of bricks. Their souls will be exchanged for his ascension. Not just seven spawn, but seven thousand souls. It takes all my strength to keep from collapsing onto the floor in anguish. This cannot be happening. Cazador has played me for such a fool. Anger wells in my chest and I have to restrain myself from throwing the crystal ball across the room.

“Control yourself, spawn” the hag eyes me cautiously, “the truth of your future has yet to be revealed.”

I suddenly feel as if I want to empty all the contents of my stomach onto the floor as the bitter taste of the elixir dances across my tongue. What more could there possibly be? Was I even prepared to face it?

Before I have time to decide, the images shift yet again. A vague shape takes form, and the person in the crystal ball stares back at me with a familiar gaze. It takes me a moment to realize that I am looking at myself, but it only feels like a stranger staring back at me. Tav enters the frame and stands next to me, a worried expression painted across her features. My eyes look crazed and hungry for something more. I look at the hag for clarity, but she urges me to keep watching.

The images shift again, and I am standing over Cazador’s bruised body. He cowers below me as I grip a dagger in my hand. Suddenly, I am barking orders directed at Tav, pleading with her to connect our tadpoles so that I can copy the scars from my back into Cazador’s flesh.

Relief washes over me as I realize that everything I have been fighting for would be worth it if my future promised my own ascension in my former master’s place. His body, the bodies of my brothers and sisters, and the targets I lured to the palace disintegrate into ashy piles as power flows through my body, centered in the middle of the bloody Black Mass. Revenge never looked so sweet.

“Do not forget yourself, Astarion,” the hag breaks me from my concentrated stare, “You will lose your soul too.”

I take a moment before answering, “That is not an unreasonable transaction, especially if it means I become powerful enough to protect myself and the ones I care about. Nobody would harm me ever again,” I lean back and cross my arms over my chest, the tension from earlier melting away as I sit with this new reality.

The witch eyes me wearily before continuing, “You seem so concerned with protecting Tav from danger, but who will protect her from you?” She waves her hand over the crystal ball, willing the previous images of the ritual away and replacing them with images of Tav. Her vermillion eyes are illuminated, watching me with practiced reverence. Puncture wounds scar her neck, and her movements are sharper and more precise. So, she would allow me to turn her if it meant spending eternity with me. A small smirk plays on my lips.

“I hardly see how her becoming a vampire is any consolation,” I bark with renewed arrogance.

“Not a vampire,” the hag replies sharply, “a spawn. Forever a slave–bending to your will.”

I brush off her remark, “I would never treat her as Cazador treated me. Do not act like you know the first thing about me.” 

An amused grin pulls at the corners of her crusted lips, “Your soul says that now, but do not forget that you sacrifice that and so much more by choosing this path.”

I roll my eyes and focus on the crystal ball once again. Reflecting back at me are the same eyes I’ve come to adore, but now they look pained and resentful as they stare back at me. I falter momentarily, and if my heart were still alive, it would die all over again.

“W-well,” I stammer, back-pedaling slightly, “I’m sure the power dynamic would be…unsavory. But I’m confident Tav would still find it in her heart to love me,” I whisper, trying to convince myself rather than the hag. I continue to watch as darkness shrouds the eyes of my beloved and I begin to feel less sure of myself with every passing second. 

“A vampire’s greatest threat is another vampire,” the hag recites, mirroring the words I uttered not long ago, “The love you have cultivated will be nothing more than ash in your mouth,” she warns.

I shift uncomfortably in my seat but remain silent. “You will set Tav down a dark path of her own should you choose to ascend,” her words do not falter at this admission, and I know she speaks the truth.

As if to solidify her words, the images shift yet again. Now Tav stands before the bloodied walls of Bhaal’s underground temple, Orin dead at her feet. She is faced with an avatar of her father, and she kneels before him accepting her fate as his chosen. The promise of carnage and violence flits through her eyes as she transforms into a grotesque slayer, her features warped by the bloodied maw of the beast, all emotion siphoned from her eyes as murderous intent envelopes her completely. 

All words on my tongue fall away as I stare at all she has become–everything she has valiantly resisted now a distant memory…an empty promise that echoes of slaughter. “She..” I choke out the words, “She accepts her fate as Bhaal’s chosen if I ascend?” I peered up at the hag, wishing I could wipe the smugness from her wrinkled face. 

“Truly a terrifying couple,” she rasps, “reviled by all… and resented by one another.” 

I look down in shock as the images twist grotesquely into a new picture. My powers wash through Tav’s body, forcing her to act against her will. I force myself to watch, even though I wish very badly to tear my eyes from the horrible images. Tav grips a dagger, hanging still in the air as if frozen in time, inches away from piercing my heart... So, I will drive her to murderous rage, so much so that she would willingly kill me. The love that once hung between us is now non-existent as hate fills her eyes.

So, this is what's to come… Unimaginable power at the expense of my soul… Tav’s soul… and the budding love that lies between us. The promise of death and murder the last thread tying us together.

I stare dumbfounded as the new revelation washes over me, more powerful than Cazador’s power imbuing me with his will. 

“This cannot be…” I whisper, my hands trembling at my sides. My body racks with pain as I continue to watch. The bloody future unfolds before me as our bodies lay lifeless beside one another. Our inevitable demise ends at the hands of one another, effectively destroying the trust and mutual care we have built together… between each other. The images fade to black, leaving a deep-seated wound in my heart.

“This,” the hag gestures towards the now empty crystal ball, “is to be your fate, if you so choose.”

I sit frozen, too stunned to speak. Tears threaten to flood my eyes and anger washes through my body with agonizing intensity. “Why,” I ask through gritted teeth, “Why show me all this?” My words now sting with acid, “Why, help me?” I stand suddenly, knocking the table off kilter. 

The hag grabs the crystal ball before it has a chance to shatter on the floor. A part of me wishes it had, as if that would undo the future it laid before me. She eyes me sternly before reaching into her robes once again and retrieving a card. She hands it to me, and I reach out and snatch it from her hands, letting anger control my limbs.

The card is decorated with a kaleidoscope of colors and gold foil, its design is ostentatious and obtrusive. I flip it over to find an image of two bodies romantically entwined and the phrase “The Lovers” embellished along the bottom. I look at the hag, waiting for her to elaborate.

“Because…” she says after a moment of contemplation, “I wish someone had extended the same courtesy to me when I was younger.”

I simply stared at her, half wondering what she had experienced to end up in a place like this. I lower the card on the table and turn to leave. I hover just before the exit and turn my head, “This… is a gift you know. I will never forget it.” I drop a satchel of gold on a nearby table before exiting the tent without another word, steeling myself to face Tav.

Should I tell her? I think it would be unwise, but guilt wracks my body as I see the look of pure love that adorns her face when she catches sight of me. Her features are now covered in face paint, and I cannot hide my own amusement. But it feels shallow, the weight of my future encumbers me and every step I take towards Tav…every second I look into her beautiful eyes is just another reminder of what she could become–of what I would enable. 

I slip into my charming facade, choosing to hide the looming threat that hangs over my shoulders like a wraith clings to the shadows. 

“Astarion!” Tav squeals excitedly, “What did she tell you?” Her body shivers with anticipation, and she hops enthusiastically on her heels as she waits patiently for my reply.

“Nothing of note, really,” I wave her off nonchalantly, “Just the usual propaganda a lonely wench spouts hoping to siphon money from her visitors.”

“Oh,” Tav looks down, disappointed, “Like what?”

“Finding love,” I say, lifting her chin with the tip of my finger. Her eyes find mine and light up at the prospect, “Accruing unimaginable wealth and happiness if I follow my dreams. That sort of thing,” the lie falls easily from my lips and I scold myself internally for resorting to shallow lies, especially where Tav is concerned. We have built a bond based on trust and consent. I have already tainted that bond by withholding the truth, depriving her of her right to know what the future holds.

I try to push down the guilt that rips through me, more painful than any injury I have sustained on our road to Baldur’s Gate thus far–and there were times I was close to death. But this pain is incomparable. Self-loathing starts to creep its way through my very bones, threatening to shatter my carefully rehearsed mask.

“Uh, darling” I say carefully, “I’m suddenly not feeling well. Perhaps we should head back to camp.”

Tav eyes me warily. I’m almost certain she knows that I am hiding something–her attunement to my many masks have sharpened over the months and I silently curse myself for being so predictable at this moment. 

If she suspects anything, she makes no mention of it but agrees that we should head back to camp. Halsin promises to fashion some sort of tincture to soothe whatever ails me and I acquiesce, trying to widen the berth between me and their suspicion. 

Back at camp I withdraw into my tent, pacing the small enclosure reminiscing on the words spoken by the witch. I was filled with dread and wracked with guilt. Tav's unconditional loyalty towards me would be nothing but a tool of manipulation I would use to seek power that I now realize should never belong to me, no matter how intensely I craved it as a means of protection. 

I could be up front with Tav, but I knew she would urge me to face Cazador with her by my side–always the hero. The promise of power would be too much to turn down, like a shiny hook baiting a fish. Tav’s loyalty and unbreakable need to please me would prove an easy avenue for manipulation–something that would surely end with our inevitable demise. I couldn’t put myself in a position to force her hand, and I absolutely could not put Tav in a position to accept her own dark fate. Her love was the first good thing to happen to me in the centuries since I became a vampire, and it could be undone so easily. I could not let that happen, even if it meant facing Cazador alone.

It was the only way.

“Astarion,” Tav’s sweet voice filters through the tent, breaking me from my thoughts. She pulls back the flap of my tent after a moment and looks at me with caution in her eyes.

“Yes, my dear?” I slip back into my easy facade, knowing full well what needs to be done.

She closes the distance between us, careful not to touch me without permission. Always the astute observer. I smile softly at her, trying to repress the memories of her deadened eyes as they looked at me with resentment. That was not her. It would not be us.

“H-how are you feeling?” She shifts nervously, fully aware that something weighs heavy on my mind.

“Honestly? I’m just feeling a little overwhelmed. Arriving in Baldur’s Gate has stirred some… unpleasant memories.” It wasn’t a complete lie, just an omission of the entire truth.

“I understand,” She whispers carefully, “I’ll always be here when you need me. You won’t face this alone.” Determination fills her eyes and I know she wholeheartedly believes the words she speaks. I do too. 

“Thank you, my love,” I whisper after a moment, my words painted with sincere gratitude. I don’t expect her to forgive me for what I’m about to do. But it is the only way I can protect her. I reach out and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. She gives me the strength to do the right thing.

Tav turns to leave but stops short and looks over her shoulder, “You can feed on me tonight, if you like.” My breath hitches in my throat. My attempt at selflessness falls short as she offers herself so freely to me. I knew it would be selfish of me to accept, knowing that I would vanish from camp while she unknowingly slept. But it could also be my best chance at surviving the encounter with Cazador. Would she forgive me if I made it out alive?

“I-I’ll…okay my dear,” my mask falters momentarily, “I’ll see you tonight. Thank you.” I bow my head with gratitude as she exits the tent.

As I wait for the sun to set, I fill my time with mindless reading around the campfire, searching through various texts that might provide useful information for the fight to come. I sift through a particularly dull tome when something falls from between the pages, fluttering to the ground like a feather being shed from a bird.

For a moment I look at the object, completely bewildered by what lay at my feet. I reach down and pick up the card. The words “The Lovers” are inscribed across the bottom edge. The witch’s tarot card stares back at me as if to taunt me. “What in the nine hells,” I whisper to myself.

“What’s the matter, my heart?” Halsin’s booming voice echoes behind me, and I spin on my heels, quickly tucking the card in my pocket.

“Oh Halsin! My dear, you startled me,” I laugh nervously, “Actually, there’s something I need to confess. I trust you will understand and assist me in this one thing.” Although our relationship is newer, I trusted Halsin with my life, and Tav’s life. I know he will watch over her while I am away–however long that might be. Hopefully not forever.

“Of course,” Halsin’s face softens, “I shall lend you an ear.”

I pull Halsin to my tent discreetly, eyeing Tav across camp as she accompanies Gale while he cooks.

I quickly relay all that the witch showed me, Halsin’s face falling with concern when I deliver the horrid news. A small weight was lifted from my shoulders at the confession.

“That is concerning,” Halsin whispers, “How are you feeling?” he reaches out and caresses my cheek tenderly.

I laugh sarcastically, “Not well, as you might imagine. That is why I need you to watch over Tav while I slip out of camp and face Cazador alone.” The weight of my words causes Halsin to still.

“Astarion,” his voice shaky, “You’re certain this is the only way? What if–” his sentence dies on his lips, too difficult to utter the very words that haunt me as well.

“I have to try,” I whisper after a moment, “Even if it means I won't make it back,” speaking the words aloud suddenly makes them feel real. It was a possibility I would die and Cazador succeeded in completing the ritual. But I was out of options.

“Tav will be devastated,” Halsin’s concerned tone washes over me, only adding to my fears.

“Yes, well,” I laugh nervously, “It is better than the alternative. I am sure you would agree.” I pause before continuing, knowing the next part will be difficult for him to swallow, “She cannot know where I’ve gone–this is important, Halsin. She will follow me, and all of this will be for naught. It’s… for her own good.”

After quiet contemplation Halsin agrees, “ She will not see it that way, Astarion, but I promise to do as you say, my Star. But you must make it back to us. A world without you would be unjust,” his voice breaks. I slip him a folded note and instruct him to give it to Tav once she notices my absence.

I smile and pull him in close, placing a soft kiss on his lips. His arms wrap around me protectively–an unsaid goodbye passes between us. I pull away before I can change my mind.

“Thank you, Halsin. I will not forget what you have done for us,” I nod before exiting the tent. There was nothing left to say.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

✧*̥˚ Tav POV *̥˚✧

I search among our companions for Astarion. He has been particularly aloof this evening and I could not ignore the concern as it flooded through my veins. I knew that arriving on the doorstep of Baldur’s Gate would be difficult for him, but I couldn’t shake this feeling that he was avoiding me. If he wanted his space, I would respectfully take a step back while he sorted through his feelings, but I couldn't help but worry that he was spiraling into a dark void that would be impossible to pull him from. At what point do I step in? I tread a fragile line–one that could potentially cross over into territory that I wished to avoid at all costs if I wanted to carefully respect his boundaries.

Even still, something awful churned in my stomach–a sense of foreboding tugged at the recesses of my mind. I’ve learned to trust my intuitive nature. My life training in the Temple of Bhaal sharpened my instincts into a fine point that rivaled the very daggers we equipped ourselves with. However, even years of honing my mind will not assist in revealing what darkness lingers on the horizon, until it has fallen upon me. It’s blinding disruption, a promise that haunts me. If only it would reveal itself before it’s too late.

I look up to the sky, its domed shape spattered with twinkling stars, heckling me with false hope. If any gods could hear my silent prayers, they showed no sign of acknowledgement. Praying was a trivial pursuit, but it felt right in this moment, even if they went unanswered. I know not what lies ahead, but I knew it was not good. 

“Quite the sight,” Astarion whispers from behind me, mirroring the hollow words he once spoke in the first few nights of our meeting. I spin around to find his vermillion eyes watching me with a careful expression, “You, I mean.” He whispers, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

I let out a breathy laugh, relief washing over me as his presence pulls me away from the impending dread that inhabits my body.

He opens his arms invitingly, ushering me into his cool embrace. I gladly comply, welcoming the feel of his body against mine. His arms wrap around my waist and pull me in tight, threatening to never let go.

“I missed you,” I whispered in his ear.

“I haven’t gone anywhere, darling,” he laughs quietly.

“I know. But every moment that I am away from you is more agonizing than the last.” His body stiffens at my truthful words and panic begins to settle in the pit of my stomach. I hope I haven't crossed a line. “Sorry,” I amend quickly, “I just enjoy your company.”

He pulls away, but keeps his arms firmly wrapped around my waist, his smile is soft, but it doesn’t quite meet his eyes, “You know I enjoy your company as well, darling. I fear I wouldn’t survive without it.” There was some underlying meaning to his words, but before I could inquire further, he pulled me in for a kiss.

I lace my fingers through his ivory curls–his touch melting away all the tension that burdened me only a moment before. His kiss steadily grows hungrier, his tongue slipping between my lips as he sought out my own. He sighs against me as our tongues slide against one another.

All too soon he pulls away, planting small kisses along my jaw and down my throat. The reverence laced in his kisses leave small confessions against my flesh.

“I’m going to turn in early tonight, my dear,” he whispers against my skin in between small kisses.

“Alright,” I whisper shakily, “Are you forgoing dinner tonight?”

His lips halt against my throat and he inhales deeply before pulling away and looking into my eyes with a worried expression, as if internally warring with himself.

“I–no,” he whispers after a moment, tearing his gaze away from me with a guilty expression. My deep-seated curiosity takes hold as I watch a wash of emotions cross his face, “I would like that very much.”

“O-okay,” I whisper suspiciously. 

Before I can ask what burdens him, he pulls me to my tent and patiently waits for me to lie comfortably on my bedroll. What ensues feels less intimate than usual, and more of a formality. I let my questions die on my lips, chalking up his rigidity to the earlier confession he laid at my feet when I had visited him in his tent. I only wished he were comfortable and happy. He laps eagerly at the blood he pulls from my veins, taking his fill.

Once he was finished, he placed reassuring kisses along the puncture wounds that marked my  throat as his. The camp had fallen quiet outside my tent, my companions choosing to rest their weary eyes on this early evening. 

“Do you mind if I linger, until you find rest,” Astarion asks, a glimpse of vulnerability flashes across his sharp features.

“I would love nothing more,” I whisper, relieved. I quickly change into my bedclothes, Astarion’s eyes lingering on my form as I slip into something more comfortable. 

I slide into my bedroll and Astarion pulls me in close, nuzzling his head into the crook of my shoulder. I wrap my arms tightly around him, lazily running my fingers through his silver curls with one hand and tracing words into the cold flesh of his back with the other, careful not to touch his sensitive scars.

“I could stay like this forever,” I admit into his well-manicured curls, his scent comforting me beyond reprieve. 

Astarion lets out a tortured groan and holds me tighter, “Me too,” he finally confesses, “Me too, my love.”

His embrace eventually lulls me into a deep, dreamless slumber. His proximity stirred a deep sense of comfort within me that only reveals itself when he is near. 

I did not feel as he carefully slipped into the night.

Beams of sunlight filter through the tent, bathing me in its gilded illumination. I wipe the sleep from my eyes, rolling over reaching out for Astarion. My hand lands on the empty bedroll. I frown, wishing he had stayed through the night.

Something savory wafts through the air and I can hear the sizzle of meat in a pan over the fire. Even as the inviting aroma assaults my senses, something stirs in the morning air. The camp is unusually quiet. By now, I should hear the excited lilt of Karlach’s voice–she was always a morning person. I should hear Gale delighting in telling stories of Waterdeep. I should hear Lae’zel sharpening her weapons, or Shadowheart reprimanding someone for being too reckless during battle. At the very least I should hear Astarion, his voice dripping with disdain at the breakfast we gorge ourselves on each morning, or the playful complaints of our current accommodations–sleeping in the dirt like commoners when there was a perfectly accommodating establishment in the Lower City. 

Instead, silence creeps through my tent threatening to swallow me whole. Something stirs in the air, reminiscent of the dread I felt last night before Astarion approached me. 

I quickly gather myself before exiting the tent, not even concerned with changing into day clothes. Immediately I see Halsin across camp, whispering to a huddle of companions. Their hushed tones not quite reaching my ears.

“What’s going on,” I immediately felt panic rise in my throat.

All the companions fall silent as they whip their heads towards me. I immediately note Astarion is not among them. But that wasn’t unusual. Their behavior, however, was.

The companions stared at me momentarily before falling into their usual routine ignoring the suspicious glare I sent their way like daggers in their backs.

“Good morning, Tav. You must be famished! Come grab yourself a plate. You look like you need sustenance,” Gale rambles. I watched him carefully but headed towards the fire anyway, the remnants from Astarion’s feeding last night left me feeling light-headed still.

I sit silently as I eat. The companions were careful in my presence, offering me kind words as if to distract me from something. Their diversion was obvious. I leave my food half-finished behind as I stomp towards Halsin. He watches me approach, his face unreadable but his eyes guarded.

“What the hell is going on, Halsin?” I demand, “Why is everyone acting so strangely?” I cock my hip to the side and cross my arms over my chest waiting for an explanation. 

“Nothing slips through the cracks with you, my heart,” he laughs. It doesn’t reach his eyes and I know he is hiding something. 

“Quit stalling, Halsin,” I snap. My temper was burning on a short fuse this morning, and even though I felt bad for snapping at Halsin, who has done nothing but show kindness and patience towards me, he was obviously keeping something from me.

“Perhaps, we should go to your tent and talk,” he places a large hand on the small of my back, but I whip away from him.

“No. We will talk here. Tell me, what is going on?” The camp falls quiet and alerts me that everyone, aside from me, knows what is happening.

Halsin falters, and I look around the camp searching for something out of place. What has made them so worried?

“Tav,” Halsin whispers with careful explication, “Astarion is gone.”

His words envelope me, and I stare in disbelief as they swirl around in my head. “Gone? What does that mean?”

He sighs and refuses to meet my gaze, “He left.”

Darkness threatens to overtake my vision as his words settle in the pit of my stomach like a stone falling to the bottom of a lake.

I spin on my heels and tear through Astarion’s tent. The emptiness that stares back at me feels like a slap in the face. I feel my breath quicken, threatening to send me into overdrive until I’m hyperventilating.

I storm out of his tent, “Where?” I whisper, my fists involuntarily balling at my sides as I try to control the bubbling anger that threatens to spill over into unbridled rage. All I can see is red.

Halsin walks towards me cautiously, the whole company trailing behind him with worried expressions painted across their faces, “My heart–”

“WHERE?” I yell, all patience evaporates from my body.

Halsin quietly pulls a piece of parchment from his pocket and hands it to me slowly. I snatch it and unfold it, scared of what I might read.

I stared at his elegant handwriting, unable to soak in the words that stared back at me. This tells me nothing other than Astarion was gone. He had intentionally left. But for what purpose?

I fold the note and head to my tent, quickly changing into clothes more suitable for travel. I need to take a walk.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

✧*̥˚ Astarion POV *̥˚✧

I spent the first couple of nights quietly scouting out the Szarr palace, watching as guards came and went. I hadn’t seen any of my brothers and sisters since I arrived at my discreet hiding place. I knew the city like the back of my hand, having spent years watching the city grow even when my purpose had stayed the same. 

“Your only purpose is to lure back pretty things for your Master, boy,” Cazador’s words ricochet through my skull, “By any means necessary. Let them use you, gain their trust with your pretty words and face.”

I try to shake the words from my mind, but arriving on his doorstep only heightened the centuries of memories and torment. Long nights chained in the kennels with nothing but dead rats to sate my appetite flit through my mind. The painful bite of the whip as it bit into my flesh. My screams echoing through the palace, feeding the egos of my captors. 

Your screams sound the sweetest.

I knew that returning to this godsforsaken place would be a painful reminder of what once was, but it was more difficult to face alone than I had previously planned. I caught myself on several occasions turning my head, thinking Tav was standing next to me–a habit that I had become more than accustomed to.

I try to shake my thoughts from Tav. I cannot imagine how angry she must be with me. If I dwell on it too long, I will abandon all control and run back to her with pleas of forgiveness falling from my lips.

I checked my inventory one last time, having stockpiled supplies, potions, and weapons. I was ready. I slip in, undetected, having done this thousands of times before–but never with murder on my mind.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

✧*̥˚ Tav POV *̥˚✧

The nights were cold and agonizing. I could not sleep. My mind retraced our last day together. Something in Astarion’s demeanor had shifted after he visited the fortune teller. What had the witch said to him? I was almost certain that was the pivotal moment when things changed. 

The day had gone by in a blur. I stormed from camp and walked through the streets of Baldur’s Gate, searching for a glimpse of my silver-haired vampire. My urges thrummed in my chest and diabolical whispers filled my ears–my anger igniting their hunger.

I interrogated as many people as I could–barkeeps, guards, and merchants. Some required a knife to the throat to cooperate. I was perpetually having to cool my blood and ignore thoughts of maiming during their interrogation. I scared even myself at times. However, no one had captured a glimpse of Astarion. I shouldn’t be surprised; he had perfected the art of slipping undetected through the city streets for centuries.

By the time I returned to camp empty-handed the first night, I was exhausted. Gale tried to push a plate of food in my hands, but I was too high-strung to eat. Halsin was persistent in checking on me as I lay in my tent while I tried to push down the tears that threatened to spill. I was on the precipice of shattering completely.

Then the anger started to settle in. I numbly traced the puncture wounds that marred my neck. The only evidence that Astarion still existed. I was angry at him for leaving. For drinking from my neck and lying with me in my tent before slipping into the night–never to be seen.

I was angry that he left without a clue as to where he was going. I could not help but wonder if he was going to face Cazador. But it didn’t make sense. He was adamant that he needed my help to face his old master. What would push him to go back? I was not sure I wanted to find out.

The yawning breadth of despair sits like a cavern where my heart once beat with elation in his presence. I was not sure how much longer I could entertain thoughts of him pulled back under Cazador’s control. Images of Astarion’s limp body under the Szarr palace plagued my thoughts. What if he had been captured? What if Cazador had sacrificed him and completed the ritual? But why would Astarion willingly stroll back into his own torment? I knew the answer. He wouldn’t. But the witch–she knew something.

After a restless night pacing through camp, I headed out on my own to the Circus of the Last Days, refusing the company of my companions. The witch would divulge what she knew. She was the only lead I had. I would force it from her if I had to.

My heart sank when I saw her tent was absent. The merchants that had sat on either side of her said she had packed her things and left just the day before. I grip the hilt of my dagger, anger surging through my veins as whispers of murder rang in my ears. I knew I was treading a dangerous path. My anger had become untethered, and my murderous nature boiled just below the surface, yearning to break free.

After long hours of wandering the streets, staking out the Szarr palace, and harassing people in the street, I return yet again empty-handed back to camp.

“My heart,” Halsin pulls me into a hug, brushing the hair from my face, “I know you are worried about him. I am too. But you must take care of yourself. You haven’t slept. You haven’t eaten. You are out all day long. Let me care for you.”

The past two days I had been drowning in my own guilt over the way I had snapped at Halsin. But my anger and determination to find Astarion overpowered any rational thought. 

“The thought of living normally… Taking care of myself… feels wrong when he is out there somewhere,” Halsin gently runs his fingers through my tangled hair, trying his best to comfort me. “Why?” I choke, “Why would he leave? I don’t understand.” A tear slips from my eyes, and I can no longer hold back my despair. I cried into Halsin’s shoulder. My sobs echoed through the camp. I didn’t care who witnessed it. 

Halsin continues to comfort me. He helps me slip into my night clothes and brushes my hair, ushering me to put something in my stomach. I nibbled on a small piece of Waterdhavian cheese, but it tasted like ash in my mouth. I realize that all the luxuries of life–all the magic that one could find in the small mundane things, such as the taste of food or the vibrant colors of the city, did not matter if Astarion was not there to experience it with me.

Halsin brewed me some tea, promising that it would help me sleep. He offers to stay with me, but I regrettably turn him away, electing to be alone with my thoughts. With my despair.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

✧*̥˚ Astarion POV *̥˚✧

It was surprisingly easy to clear the main floor of Cazador’s palace. I took special pleasure in killing Godey, one of my main tormentors aside from Cazador. His screams echoed against the kennel walls, his empty threats silenced once and for all. 

I stood in the middle of the kennels trying to regain my composure. The ghosts that once taunted me in this room had been suddenly silenced. Their whispers effectively cut short. I remove the key to the chapel from the pile of bones that had once been Godey and make my way back to the main floor, cutting through all who stood in my path.

The humans that served Cazador in the hopes that they might one day become his spawn whimper pathetically as I slice through them without a second thought. The nocturnal horde that Cazador had amassed was no match for the centuries of rage that I had unleashed. I wore their blood like a badge of honor. A trophy of my revenge. 

But there was only one person whose blood I cared about at this moment–Cazador’s.

I pass through his study until I find the hidden lift that would descend me into hell. I steeled myself, knowing I would come face-to-face with the people whose trust I betrayed. It was one thing to prepare myself to face their inevitable wrath and suffering, but it was entirely different to witness with my own eyes.

Their vermillion glares pierced me from the other side of their gilded cages. I recognized their faces. They did not deserve this. It was all my fault.

Tav’s voice creeps into my mind unbidden, “You had no choice. This isn’t your fault. It’s his.” 

I pull the tarot card from my pocket and stare at the letters, deciphering its hidden meaning. The reminder that Tav was back at camp, hoping that I would return to her arms only strengthened my resolve. This card was meant to serve as a reminder. It reminded me of why I was doing this. It wasn’t for me. It was for us.

“I’m going to kill Cazador and free you all,” my voice was full of resolve. My previous targets stared back at me, unmoving. I don’t expect them to trust me. Not until it was done.

The smell of blood and death reverberated through the air, weighing heavy on my thoughts. I felt its influence on my mind as I traversed deeper into the underground chapel. My thoughts no longer felt like my own. The thrum of power hurtled through the air like static electricity, further warping my mind into something else–something I deeply wanted to avoid.

Finally, I reach the large ornate door leading to the ritual site. I could feel the power hitting me in undulating waves, the smell of death threatening to send me into a violent frenzy.

I take a deep breath, touching the pocket that stowed the tarot card. I let thoughts of Tav give me the strength and bravery that I desperately needed. I finally push open the doors.

“Is it true? Has our prodigal son returned?”

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

✧*̥˚ Tav POV *̥˚✧

Last night was one of the most difficult. I had not been parted from Astarion this long since our first meeting. Memories of his cool hand tracing lines in my skin, the taste of his lips, the intimate moments we shared with only the moon as a witness addled my mind. Halsin’s tea sat untouched in the corner of my tent. 

I was scared to sleep–scared of the dreams that would play like a reel in my mind. I wasn’t ready to face those quite yet. A part of me still held out hope that he would return, begging to be held in my arms like the last night we spent together. His cool skin comforted me in ways that no one else could supply. I knew I was chasing false hopes.

How could I surge forward, eager to save the world when mine had just been decimated. Selfish thoughts flitted through my mind, wishing all of Faerun could suffer like I was. The thoughts scared me. They were foreign to me–at least the new me. I felt the thorny tendrils of my past life gripping me tightly, seeping through my veins like the poison of a viper. The lonely Bhaalspawn I once was lingering behind the threshold, threatening to break the fragile barrier that I had worked so hard to build.

Astarion made me realize that all she had needed was love–a tender touch. Something to care for. But that had been ripped from my grasp, and the shattered girl I once was slowly began to reveal herself once again.

The camp was active, but I was too depressed to leave my bed. I knew that if I continued to tear apart the city looking for evidence that Astarion still existed would turn up nothing. He had vanished, just as quickly as he had come. 

My eyelids are heavy with exhaustion. My limbs ache from lack of sleep and food. My eyes close against my will, and I fall into a dark slumber filled with dreams of Astarion.

A commotion in camp wakes me from my sleep, images of Baldur’s Gate flooded with blood and viscera rescind from behind my eyes as I try to take hold of my surroundings.

Outside, I hear urgent voices. Shadowheart is yelling out a list of potions and ingredients for healing, “Astarion, stay with us.”

All the lingering effects of sleep drain from my body when I hear his name. I scramble out of my tent, tripping over my own feet. I look up to find Astarion collapsed on the outskirts of our camp, bloodied and bruised.

A strangled cry escapes my lips as I run towards him. No. no. Don’t die.

I’m hovering over Astarion, clasping his hand in mine. His labored breathing is shallow and painful.

“Astarion,” I cry, choking on my own sobs.

His eyes open slowly, and he squeezes my hand weakly, “D-darling. I-I’m terribly sorry,” he sputters before his eyes fall closed again and his arm goes limp.

“Shadowheart,” I cry, panic rising in my throat.

“Let me work,” she murmurs, casting restoration and healing spells, her hands working methodically.

Halsin wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me away. I fight against him, thrashing violently, “No,” I scream.

“Let her work, Tav, she can heal him,” I hear the uncertainty in his voice.

“LET. ME. GO.” I scream, maneuvering out of his grip and falling to my knees beside Astarion. Halsin paces behind me, running a hand through his hair, clearly trying to stay calm for my sake. But I can tell he is just as concerned.

“Astarion, please,” I whimper, running a hand through his hair, ignoring the blood that paints his curls red and pink, “Stay with me. Don’t… Don’t leave me again.” 

Shadowheart works throughout the day, patching up any visible wounds and casting spell after spell. Finally, as the sun begins to slip from the sky, she announces that he will be fine. But he has fallen into a deep rest so that his body has time to heal.

I don’t leave his side for three days, counting his breaths and wiping the sweat that dampens his brow. I whisper encouraging words to him when others aren’t around, coaxing him to wake up. All of my anger was abandoned and forgotten. Halsin stayed with us as much as he could, only leaving to eat and sleep.

The third night, Halsin exits the tent to catch up on sleep. The bags under his eyes grow heavier with each passing day. He forces tea into my hands, practically begging me to sleep. I promise that I will try. I give him a soft kiss and whisper apologies for my decorum these past few days. I felt like an awful partner. Halsin waves off my concerns, showing nothing but understanding and kindness. He knew what Astarion meant to me.

I curl up next to Astarion, careful not to touch his wounds. It looked like he had suffered quite a bit. I saw the healing scars of knife wounds. Some looked like he had been stabbed while others were large gashes that marred his body. Even still, large bite marks and burns were scabbing over, only just staring to heal. My thoughts turn over in my head, wondering where he had gone. I felt deep down I already knew the answer.

I gulp down Halsin’s tea and close my eyes, listening to Astarion’s rhythmic breathing until I finally fall asleep. 

I’m not sure how long I was out before I felt him stirring next to me. I hear a grunt as cool arms snake around my waist and pull me close. My eyes spring open and I am met with the most beautiful sight I could pray for.

Astarion’s vermillion eyes stare back at me, something haunting lingers behind them.

“Astarion,” I jump. A mixture of surprise and excitement touches my voice.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, pulling me back to his body, “I-I’m so sorry, darling.” 

I watch him as sadness and relief surface in his features. “I have so much to tell you.”

I nuzzle my head into his chest, tears spilling from my eyes, “You need to rest, Astarion,” I say choking back my sobs, “Reserve your energy, please,” I beg, “You can explain later.” I mesh my body with his, not wanting to ever be parted from him again.

He chuckles lightly beside me, his quiet laughter rumbling in his chest. He painfully leans forward to plant a kiss on my head.

“This cannot wait, darling,” he murmurs through painful breaths.

I lift my head to meet his loving gaze.

“Tav��I. I’ve had a lot of time to think. But the only thoughts that occupy my mind are thoughts of you,” he pauses to catch his breath, “You have taken hold of my heart–my soul. There is nothing–nothing I wouldn’t do for you. I–I love you,” he breathes, “and I do not want a future if it does not include you.”

He slowly and painfully pulls a card from the pockets of his bloodied discarded trousers. “You gave me the strength to save myself. I will never forget it.”

I take the card from him and study its blood splattered image. The words The Lovers stare back at me, promising a future that I yearned for more than anything.

“I love you too Astarion,” I breathe after a moment, cradling myself against his body once again, “Don’t ever leave me like that again,” I whisper into his skin, inhaling his familiar scent.

“I promise,” he whispers before falling back into a deep sleep. His breathing slows to a steady rhythm.

And for a moment, I swear I could hear the soft beating of his heart.

[synapticjive]

Astarion just before Ascending is honestly more terrifying than Ascended Astarion himself. I just wrote a whole piece on it, and it got accidentally deleted. So I'm gonna leave this here and am open to discussing, haha.

When he says "I don't care about what he did to them. I care about what he did to me" - that confirmed that I lost him. I'm still not over this line or how vengeful and callous he was saying it.

I'm playing as an evil Durge who is motherfuckin' nasty. She was gray just up until Act 3. She's a mixed South Asian Eldritch Knight fighter / half Illithid. She doesn't know much about what she wants, but she knows that she wants Astarion. Her heart just clearly led her to the wrong place.

I hate how Astarion willfully exploits his intimacy with you throughout Act 3- from more subtle ways to clear violations of your trust- just to support his Ascension. I couldn't get him out of it, and I rationalized that I didn't even want to anymore: if I was evil, purely evil, and leaning into my Chosen identity, then I would need to be with someone just as evil, perhaps just as powerful. I do hc that being Bhaal's Chosen makes me more powerful than Ascended Astarion, and I know he's going to bitch and moan about that for an eternity. Oh, well, too bad- he's stuck with me now.

I think that evil Durge x Ascended Astarion is the most fitting of the relationships that these two could have. I couldn't have a morally upright Tav with him, I just couldn't do that to her. An evil Durge will challenge him, even when she's hurt. He's going to want to leave as much as she does, but he can't.

I haven't finished my first playthrough yet and have no idea where this will go... But stay tuned.

[andauril]

The thing about the whole Ascended!Astarion x PC dynamic is that HE is vastly more powerful than you, and I think that is what makes *me* personally predisposed to see this relationship as potentially unhealthy. As his consort, you are a vampire spawn, the same as Astarion was before the ascension. And vampire spawn whose masters are still alive are beholden to their master - physically incapable of disobeying their wishes or commands. The only reason that Astarion was able to shake off that compulsion is the tadpole running interference. The whole "bride" thing is fanon; it's not supported by the current edition of DnD 5e and it's not in the game. Ascended!Astarion has also no intention whatsoever of making you a true vampire (according to devnotes; he is lying when he tells the PC he'll make them a true vampire later). So, what we have here on paper is a power imbalance that is very heavily skewed in Astarion's favour. I suppose the only way to make this a truly equal relationship is to control the Elder Brain. I never played that ending so idk if the tadpole gets destroyed if you decide to become the Absolute, but if it stays in your head, it can run interference like Astarion's tadpole did between him and Cazador.

I'm not saying that the dynamic between the PC and Astarion is necessarily abusive or toxic, just that it has the potential due to a vampire lord's very real ability to overwrite the will of their spawn. There is really nothing in the game that suggests the player character is somehow a special kind of spawn whose will can't be overridden. When Astarion turns you into a vampire, you're still tadpoled, meaning he can't control you then. But he could if he wanted once the tadpole is gone.

That's what just makes me personally uncomfortable with the dynamic/romance IF you then go on and destroy the Elder Brain. I also think a scenario where you become an evil power couple controlling the Absolute together is very interesting, and it's especially compelling with Evil!Durge - Evil!Durge and Ascended!Astarion would make for one hell of a dangerous and fun evil couple (they would be pretty evenly matched in power as the Chosen of Bhaal and the Vampire Ascendant). TL;DR These are just my thoughts about the dynamic between an Ascended Astarion and his love interest, viewed from a lore perspective. I personally prefer the Spawn Route but I also do admit that the Ascended Route is narratively interesting and it is a fitting route for an evil playthrough. I do not mean to pick fights with people who prefer Ascended!Astarion for one reason or another. Please do not take this post as an attack. This is just the opinion of one person (me).

[thatbluevampire]

Does anyone know any fanfics with Ascended Astarion x evil/Bhaal’s chosen Durge?

Where they can both be evil together?

Good or bad end idc

[storytellers-atlas]

Atlas Status

Collection of my writing and fics and where to find them and their statuses

WIP means I have worked on it in the past month and it is a priority Hiatus means I have plans for it and will continue work eventually Shelved means I have no plans for it but may return one day Completed means I have finished it

Originals

Black Dunes of Hell [18+ | WIP | Not Available | Canon Hellverse]

Bloodless [18+ | Hiatus | LINK | Canon Hellverse]

A Demon Duchess & Her Incubus [18+ | Hiatus | LINK | Hellverse Fanfiction | ABO]

Ring of Rust [18+ | Hiatus | LINK | Furry/anthro]

The Raven of Wilderwood [Gen | Shelved | LINK | Xenofiction]

Fanfiction

For This is My Blood [18+ | WIP | LINK | BG3 | Ascended Astarion x Chosen Durge]

Home for the Holidays [Teen | Completed | LINK | BG3 | Wyll x Tav | #BG3holidayfluffle23]

Unnamed BG3 Urban Fantasy [18+ | Planning | LINK | BG3]

Bats & Brimstone [Teen | Hiatus | LINK | Batman/Hellverse Crossover]

Authority: Pantheon [Teen | Hiatus | LINK | Authority Comics | Modern Mythology]

Requiem of the Dying Sun [Teen | Shelved | LINK | World of Warcraft | Original Sharacters]

Thomas the Weatherman [18+ | Shelved | LINK | Genshin Impact | Parody]

[kelandrin]

Ascended Astarion x Durge is so funny. Astarion, the vainest man on the planet, has to come home to find his brand new imported rug forever ruined because durge wanted to play autopsy on it. “Stop breaking my stain glass windows” “Stop placing stain glass windows in places I like to throw people”

[kelandrin]

Working on another Ascended!Astarion xDurge piece (don’t worry beta tester who offered on last post I still see you) and it is such a delight. It is based on a previous post about Astarion and his durge consort having conflicting feelings on interior design. Kelandrin is a hardcore goth minimalist. The only acceptable colors are black and red and everything has to serve a purpose. He thinks luxury goods are a scam.

Kelandrin is genuinely under the impression that the vendor who sold Astarion a rug is a con artist.

Deadass accusing Astarion of making-up colors because he put up dark blue curtains.

“They’re navy”

“No. A navy is a fleet of military boats, a far more practical investment.”

[kelandrin]

Kelandrin

[Drow Dark Urge Paladin]

he/him | cis man | bisexual

Character Analysis [spoilers]:

Kelandrin was given the name "Mass'tyr" by the Drow woman who saw fit to raise him. He was always a disturbed child, being described by his "sisters" as unnerving. When his adoptive mother gave birth to another son, he killed the infant by suffocating it and disposed of the body (likely ate it). When he came of age and the urge awoke in him, he burned his adoptive home to the ground, killing the entire family and fleeing the Drow capital Menzoberranzan. He spent ages roaming from place to place. His MO was quiet observation and getting as much as he could from people through deception before he decided to finally kill them. While most of his killings were done with a cool head and even temper, he was not beyond bouts of fury, which were usually spurned by other Bhaalists being disobedient, disloyal, or incompetent.

While incredibly unimpressed with Orin's personality, he found her an effective enough killer, permitting her in his service. Her theatrics were annoying but he was willing to overlook them, though he would tell her plainly that she was wasting her time with her "art", preferring practicality over all else. His tolerant nature would end when she lobotomized him.

Throughout act one, Kelandrin was willing to indulge the odd urge or two but was primarily concerned with what it meant in relation to his past. The removal of the tadpole took priority, though so he let his concerns about his history sit on the back burner. Despite this, his nature still drove him to make practical decisions and he continued his method of entering a space diplomatically before deciding whether to kill everyone or not. Without his memories, however, he had no motive to isolate or distance himself from his companions and warmed to the idea of forming friendships. Astarion in particular intrigued him, both for his physicality ("pretty corpse") and for his wit and pension for violence. He accepted the vampire's advances without a second thought.

His amusement with Astarion grew more sincere. Kelandrin's innate drive to be loyal to someone was loose without his memories and it settled on Astarion as they shared bodies (both their own in the sexual sense and other peoples' in the murder sense.)

With Sceleratis Fel's appearance and the familiarity of people and locations in Act Two, Kelandrin's temper grew. He began growing aware that his memory loss was not an accident but rather an act of disobedient betrayal. He almost killed Ketheric on sight but restrained himself, prioritizing his usual methodology but swearing he would kill Ketheric by the time they were through with Moonrise. Despite this, he hesitated to kill Isobel at his mysterious father's command. He did not see the point in it as she was more useful to him alive. Naturally, this incurred Bhaal's wrath, which turned his urge on Astarion. The disaster was averted luckily, but the ordeal pushed Kelandrin's loyalty to Astarion even further, verging on the zealous love for a savior.

In Act Three, when Kel’s past was fully unveiled, his wrath became uncontrollable. To him, Orin’s disobedience and betrayal was the greatest crime one could commit and he vowed to destroy her as brutally as possible. However, he was still deeply conflicted by the prospect of taking up his birthright again. By this point, Kelandrin was fully dedicated to Astarion’s cause and whims, even prioritizing the vampire’s revenge over his own. He was not wholly unaware of what one might consider Astarion’s “toxic” qualities, like the manipulation. Rather, Kelandrin absorbed those things into his own interpretation of “love.” “Loving” Astarion meant doing what Astarion wanted, just as loving Bhaal had meant doing what Bhaal wanted. If anything, Astarion was the more affectionate god as Kelandrin trusted Astarion not to throw him away as easily as Bhaal had. Kelandrin encouraged Astarion’s ascendancy and fully submitted to him, letting him turn Kelandrin into a vampire.

Orin’s kidnapping of Yena was another act of disobedience in Kelandrin’s eyes. To Kelandrin, Yena was something that belonged to himself and Astarion, and Orin’s transgression was just another reason to kill her. Similarly, learning about Gortash’s betrayal of Karlach, who Kelandrin had developed a soft spot for, spurred Kelandrin’s rage further. Gortash and Orin had wronged him and those he favored and Kel valued loyalty above all else. His anger was so great that by the time he met Saravok, he did not have the patience for the old man’s “lessons” and he killed his fellow Bhaalspawn immediately. Then he confronted Orin, slaying her at his father’s altar. Bhaal offered Kelandrin his position as chosen. Kelandrin weighed dying versus being beholden to his father and chose the latter, creating an uneasy balance between his love for Astarion and his love for his father.

Ultimately, he did what both his father and Astarion wanted him to do and betrayed mindflayer Karlach, taking control of the Netherbrain.

Fun Facts & Trivia:

Kelandrin is a firm believer in cannibalism and the habit started well before his urge first manifested.

Kelandrin didn't give his name to Shadowheart or Lae'zel on the mindflayer ship. It was only when Astarion met him and asked for his name did Kelandrin give it. HOWEVER, Kelandrin's memory was so skewed that he simply said the first name that came to mind: Kalandrin, a drow name that means Elf Rogue. His accent made it sound like Kelandrin and he has gone by that ever since.

Kelandrin is actually quite fond of children as he considers them high potential.

Kelandrin's poor naming habits continued. He renamed the orphaned Dragonborn he offered to raise to be Astarion's spawn post-game "Zekroos" which translates directly to "Dragon child" (FIC LINK)

He hates cats. It is more that they hate him and he doesn't have the patience for that.

Kelandrin has his own “cute” nicknames for Astarion, most of which are just drow names with special meanings. His favorite is “Imd” which translates to “heart blood”.

Kelandrin might be bisexual but he also hates 90% of women. Being a misogynist isn’t his most toxic trait but it is definitely the one that will get him cancelled first.

[PLAYLIST]

[FANFICTION]

[kelandrin]

Okay I normally stick these in tags but Kelandrin gets special treatment for this because the answer is just so interesting for him.

Kelandrin wants kids for all the worst reasons.

For one, he has the biological drive to reproduce and create more Bhaalspawn. He doesn’t remember if he had any before (he doesn’t) but he knows his libido is high for a reason. He never talks about it in what I consider his canon epilogue fic but in one of his noncanon fics he admits that sex feels like it almost sates the urge. He has connected his sex drive with his urge, whether there is an actual connection there or not.

For two, one of the reasons that Sceleritas Fel cites for Bhaal allowing Kelandrin’s lover to live is the prospect of creating more Bhaalspawn. Even if Kelandrin didn’t believe he is programmed to have children, he would be too scared that not having kids (with Astarion specifically) would endanger his love’s safety. The logistics of two vampires without wombs producing a child together aside. He doesn’t care what profane or elaborate magic they need to make to happen.

And three, Kelandrin has learned a lot from experience. He picked up quickly on the trend that vampires seem to get done in by their spawn fairly quickly. This is mostly because a) they abuse their spawn into hating them and b) their spawn are never satisfied being just spawn. It would be impractical for Astarion to have no spawn, of course, not when they make such a good little army. Kelandrin’s solution is to only create spawn out of those who are already loyal. They need to be more than loyal. Plenty of mortals were loyal to Cazador because they thought he would make them vampires. If he had, they would have simply wanted more in the end. No, Astarion’s spawn would have to be more than loyal. They would have to whole heartedly love and support their master. Kelandrin knows of only one relationship which carries that sort of loving loyalty: children. Whether they are his Bhaalspawn or children he saw fit to snatch off the street, Kelandrin intends to raise the future vampire spawn to be as loyal to Astarion as he is to Bhaal. It is his own way of protecting Astarion and his position of power.

Tav Question

Does your Tav want children? If so, why and how many?

[littlelovelyra]

In Darkness, Hope Flickers. Chapter 1 (Mourning)

Ascended Astarion x Female Durge vampire spawn/consort (Named Lilah)

"This was the best choice, you made the right choice. You repeat those lines in your mind several times. You do not regret this… do you?"

New Series! From Astarion and Lilah's (named F!Durge) perspective

(her previous name was Nyx but I wasn't vibing with it so I am changing it to Lilah)

Ao3 if you prefer

Notes on this series before you start: I explore Ascended Astarion. In this world, I have chosen to have him find himself again as the series progresses. Now I know there are heated discussions that Ascended Astarion is bad so please think of this as a re-imagining of his story where yes, he has a lapse in judgment out of fear and ascends. However, I think it would be beautiful to have him redeem himself, defying what it is to be a vampire lord. Eventually, breaking the cycle of abuse. There will also be some moments in this series with Lilah (tav) and Halsin as the story plays out. I won't say too much.

Series Summary/where we start:

It happened, Astarion’s ascension. The man you once loved is no longer present, instead, in his place looms a darker, dominant remnant of him. You foolishly accepted his offer of being his consort, believing that he would turn you into a true vampire, much like him. It has been one week since your turn, and as each day passes you start to doubt that promise. There are moments where you see flickers of his old self, however, they are small moments that do not last long.

Warnings: Ascended Astarion, Dom vibes, jealousy, possessiveness, Consort Tav, Dark urge tav, PiV, Sex, let me know if i miss anything

MINORS DNI

Lilah

Thrust. “Hmph.” Thrust. “Gods, you’re perfect.” Thrust. Sweat drips down the side of your face as his grip tightens on your hips, gliding one hand up your spine he snakes it around and pulls you up by the base of your neck. The sweat that has settled on his chest feels cold against your back that is now pressed against him and you rock your body up and down his manhood. It is in these moments where you feel the most connected to him, you can close your eyes and pretend he is still the same man he was before his ascension.

“Hmph. So eager, my pet.” The curls of his hair tickle your face as he drops his head down nudging yours to the side, exposing your neck. As he clamps down to drink an orgasm ripples through your body and you feel his hand gently squeeze the base of your neck near your collarbone. He releases his bite and pushes you back face down on the bed. Firm hands once again grip your hips as his thrusts slam into you and you feel the pace quicken.

Thrust.

Thrust.

Thrust.

You feel his body stiffen behind you as he takes one last plunge deep into your core and ecstasy rips through his body sending waves of small spasms jolting through him. He pauses a moment, making sure all his spend has been emptied and he flips you over onto your back his crimson eyes are ablaze as he stares at you.

“My most beloved, spawn, my dark consort. How delicious you look, covered in sweat and breathing heavily for me.” His hand runs up your stomach as he catches your chin between his thumb and index finger. Releasing his grip he brings his hand to his mouth, punctures an opening on his middle finger and brings it down slowly pushing it to your mouth. Eagerly you drink the small amount he is willing to offer you as part of your hopes that this is the moment he allows you true vampirism. But this feels the same as any other time, the only intention he has is to show you he is in control and only he decides when it’s your turn.

Tears sting your eyes and your vision becomes blurry, how long would you subject yourself to these games? You could run away, you still have the tadpole but it won’t be forever. Even if you ran away, once the tadpole was gone, you were still under his control. What a fool you were in allowing him to ascend, at the time, you thought supporting what he wanted was the right thing to do. You knew what it was like to live in fear, Bhaal had the same effect on you. If you could take it all back you would. You now know that fear isn’t a bad thing, not if you have support around you. But what’s done is done, you cannot take any of it back and these are the consequences you now live with.

“Little love, whatever could be the matter?” He cocks his head to the side and for a moment you thought you caught a glimpse of genuine concern in his eyes.

“Astarion, it’s been a week… I’m starting to believe that maybe you have no intention of turning me into a true vampire.” There is a slight wobble to your voice, you are nervous. Bringing this up always ends with him angered and asserting his power over you.

“How many times do we have to have this discussion? It will happen when I am ready for it to happen. If you keep bringing it up I’ll make you wait longer. Do not test my patience.” He moves off the bed to dress himself for the day and you watch him move around the room, your heart aches for the loss of the man you loved.

Without a word, you clean yourself up, get dressed and move to the door to leave your private quarters.

“And where do you think you’re going?” His voice is cold and commanding, if it weren’t for the tadpole you assumed you wouldn’t be able to move in this moment. Instead, utilising the temporary freedom you have, you exit the room. Not a single acknowledgment comes from you at his question.

Before you know it you have found yourself standing in front of Halsin, as he is lost in whittling yet another duck for his collection. You softly clear your throat which grabs his attention.

“Sorry, I was distracted, you know what I’m like when I whittle.” He stands up and his brow furrows as he looks at you. “You have been crying. You have done that a lot recently. What can I do to make it better?” He pulls you into a soft hug and you let him, you know you shouldn’t but you and Halsin have had special arrangements previously. You weren’t sure where they stood now, but you didn’t care to ask Astarion. Not when he is the way he is and Halsin would gladly be whatever you needed him to be.

“Things are different with him, Halsin. He’s changed for the worse. I don’t know what to do, I feel like a fool.” You whisper into his chest unable to control the soft sobs that leave your lips.

“You did the best you could do, your choices were made in love. Do not fault yourself for loving someone the way you love him.” He bends his head and softly places a kiss on your forehead. A rush of shame fills you, you do not wish to lead him on, however, his warmth is welcoming.

“Halsin, I… I do not wish to lead you on. I love him… I just don’t know what to do.” You tilt your head to meet his soft eyes as he holds you.

“Lilah, I will be whatever you need me to be. The time we spent together intimately will be etched into my memory for as long as I live. If that is where our intimate connection stops, I will hold it dearly. If you require a friend, I will be just that.” He strokes his hand down the side of your face, his smile is earnest, and he means every word he says.

“Well, what do we have here?” A voice cuts through the air, you can almost taste the venom laced in each word. As you turn to face him, Halsin has respectfully let you go and stands at your side with his jaw clenched. “I leave my consort alone for five minutes and the animals descend. Have you no shame, Halsin? Or do you prefer indulging in my leftovers?” The words cut through your heart like a blade.

“Leftovers? LEFTOVERS?” You have never heard Halsin raise his voice and the entire camp stops. “If you dare speak that way of her again Astarion I will do what I must to protect her honour.” Halsin places a protective step between you and Astarion, you watch as delight spreads across his face at the challenge laid before him.

“Hah! You can try. She belongs to me and only me. I know we had our past arrangements but your… services are no longer needed, Halsin.” Astarion’s face is smug as he watches Halsin wince at the words. Your heart hurts for the druid and you wish you could do something to ease his shame. Rage floods your veins, it has been a while since your past affected you and you know you will never fully get rid of it.

“Astarion. That is enough. Halsin is my friend and I am entitled to spend my time however I please.” You watch as his crimson eyes glow with anger at your disrespect. “So long as I have this tadpole in my head, I have free will and I will enjoy every. Single. Moment of it.” You take Halsin by the hand and exit the shared quarters leaving Astarion speechless and seething behind you.

----------------------------

Astarion:

As you walk into the shared quarters you find her in the arms of the druid and you watch him run his hand softly down the side of her cheek. Something drops in the pit of your stomach, it feels like, pain. Nonsense. You are the Vampire Ascendant, you do not feel emotional pain, you do not feel jealousy and you certainly do not allow another man to run his hands over what belongs to you. A powerful being such as yourself does not need lovers’ quarrels and matters of the heart. You are no longer a weakling. Let her have her time with Halsin, you know that she would not dare be physical with him, no, your consort is infatuated with you.

However, you find yourself with some free time today, perhaps you could indulge with some good old-fashioned stalking. Put your pet to the test and see what she does with her delusion of freedom. While you are watching her you could think of a plan to reel her back in line, maybe dangle some warmth her way… tell her you love her, tell her she is the best thing that has happened to you and make her feel special. It would be easy, you know how she waits to be commanded. You hear it in the way her breath stills when you speak and see it in her eyes as they stay glued to your every move.

Keeping track of them isn’t hard, even in a crowd of people Halsin sticks out like a sore thumb. You can say what you want about the druid but the one thing he has going for himself is the sheer size of him. No one would want to mess with that. You carefully watch as they walk the streets and it doesn’t escape your attention that his hand brushes against hers now and then. You feel a twitch of something in your chest every time his hand touches hers. A feeling you should not be experiencing, is that… jealousy? It couldn’t be, no, you are merely annoyed that someone else is touching something that belongs to you. Simple.

You follow them through Balder’s Gate as they make their way toward Rivington. What is your plan druid? You think to yourself watching them descend the hill towards a secluded beach. You notice that just above the shoreline where they sit is a cliff that has many bushes surrounding it. As you stealthily make your way, you slip into the shadows of the shrubbery and listen.

“Are you alright, my heart?” The druid places his hand atop hers and you see her face flush as she turns to him.

“I am as good as I can be. Halsin, I… I am so sorry for the way he spoke to you. You did not deserve that.” She places her free hand on his cheek and you feel a deep rage settle in your chest.

“You’re apologising? You need not apologise to me. The way he spoke of you… as if you meant nothing more than scraps. It enraged me.” Halsin’s voice hardens at the memory and part of you regrets your choice of words when it came to her. She is not your leftovers… why you chose those words, you will never understand. The pain on her face when those words hit her left you feeling… ashamed. You will not dwell on it, that is yet another sign of weakness and you were past that. She should know better.

“Perhaps he is right, maybe I am not worth more than that. Look what I have done to myself… all for him. Have I no self-respect?” You hear the quiver in her voice it cracks and gives way to her sobs and a familiar feeling settles in the pit of your stomach.

Halsin pulls her into his arms, lifts her face to his and you watch as he brings his lips to hers. I am going to make him bleed for that. Your thoughts are full of anger and disbelief as you see for a moment she leans into him and suddenly releases the kiss.

“I still love him… I’m so sorry. I wish I could turn it off but I can’t, I’m pathetic.” Her voice sounds small, defeated and you are not sure how to feel about this. On the one side, this gives you the upper hand and you realise how much power you hold over her. On the other side, there is a small desire to show her that as your consort she is certainly not pathetic, you would never allow your consort to be anything but perfect.

“Love makes fools of us all, Lilah. Perhaps in time, you will learn how to move on from the man he once was and if you were to open yourself to another, I would be there. But if that doesn’t happen I am here all the same as your friend.” He wraps his arm around her shoulder.

“And you would be happy? Just as my friend?” She asks quietly.

“As long as I am in your life in some capacity, I will be happy.” He replies.

“Halsin? If that day ever came, if I was ever able to stop loving him… I would come to find you and if you weren’t committed to another maybe we could be together then.” Her voice is soft as she places her hand on his shoulder.

“I would not settle down, perhaps take lovers, but settle down? I have only ever wanted that from you. I do not imagine it would change.” The druid smiles at her and looks out onto the ocean.

You do not wish to hear any more of this conversation and as you quietly make your way back up the hill you find yourself thinking of what you would do if she left you. If she were to move on to love another. Your stomach twists and you become nauseous at the thought. You would not allow that to happen. She is yours… she could never be anyone else’s.

-------------------------------------------------

Lilah:

After spending the day with Halsin you feel better. This morning’s drama rattled you and that word still lingers in your mind… leftovers… is that what he truly thinks of you? If that was the case, then perhaps it was time for you to rethink your relationship with him. You can’t spend your eternity like this, under his torment.

As you and Halsin enter the Elfsong Tavern and head upstairs to the shared quarters you notice the door to your private room is open. You glance at Halsin who gives you a small nod followed by an understanding smile. He places a soft kiss on your cheek and enters the shared room.

Sighing to yourself you slowly enter your private quarters and find Astarion sitting on the chair in the corner of the room.

“Did you enjoy yourself? You caused quite the scene this morning.” His voice is cool and unbothered, his ruby eyes glisten watching you, waiting for your response.

“It was not I who caused a scene this morning, master.” You spit out the last word at him and you see a quick wince from him, you would have missed it had you blinked.

“Now my darling consort… you need not address me as master, but you know that don’t you?” He rises from his chair and crosses the room. Gently he cups your face and leans in to kiss you tenderly. The softness of the kiss surprises you, he has not kissed you like this since his ascension. Maybe you have finally gotten through to him. He pulls back and holds your gaze while his thumb lazily runs along your jaw.

“I do rather like that, you know?” His voice is soft, and sweet and sounds almost vulnerable.

“Oh, you do? I would have thought you would have been disgusted since I am nothing but leftovers.” Your voice cracks and tears sting your eyes once more as you glare at him.

“My love, I didn’t mean it. I was caught up in the heat of the moment. You should know that you are much more than that. You are my consort, I would never think so little of you.” He trails kisses along your jawline and down your neck. Your head becomes dizzy at his soft touch. “You are my most beloved spawn.” As soon as the words leave his mouth you are snapped back into reality.

“That is all I will ever be to you, won’t it? Your spawn? You never intend for me to become a true vampire.” Your voice is soft as you whisper out the realisation.

“Darling, I’m hurt. You think so little of me… I simply want to get used to this power before we take the next step… after all, we have all eternity, what is the rush?” His words flow through you like honey and you cannot find the words to argue with him. “I don’t wish to fight with you, can’t we just forget what happened this morning?” He kisses you down your neck once again.

“Do you love me?” The question spills out from your lips and you feel him freeze.

“Of course I love you. Why would you ever doubt that, my love?” He turns you to face him and yet again for a moment, you see a small flicker of genuine concern that is soon masked by his newfound confidence. You pray to whatever gods are listening that he means it because you cannot let him go. Not yet.

“Little love, let me show you just how much you mean to me?” His breath is hot in your ear as he leads you to the bed.

“Do you think… we could just lay together? Like we used to?” You watch his face as he contemplates your request.

“If that will make my consort happy, then that is what we shall do.” There is a calculated look in his smile but you push it aside for this moment of intimacy. You have not held each other like this since his ascension and as you lay there in his arms you close your eyes for a moment, sleep finds you quickly.

-----------------------------------------

Astarion:

As you lay there with her on your chest, memories fill your mind. Memories of nights when the two of you lay cuddled together sharing laughs, secrets and dreams. A small twang of emotion shoots itself across your chest and you shove it down, you were pathetic then and you will never be ever again. If she loved you then surely she would love you now, especially when you can offer her power beyond measure. She would never have to feel afraid again, and neither would you. This was the best choice, you made the right choice. You repeat those lines in your mind several times. You do not regret this… do you?

No. You can’t and won’t regret this. She will learn to appreciate the powerful vampire you have become and once she realises your power she will understand why this was the right decision. You will enjoy this and you will build yourself an empire. For the both of you. No one could stop you.