#Astarion x f!durge x Halsin

[astarionmademewriteit]

The Lovers

Spawn!Astarion x Durge f!Tav x Halsin (Minor role)

Cycles between Astarion and Tav POV

Rating: Mature themes (No smut)

Wordcount: 9.4k (Long one-shot)

Tags: Many many Act 3 spoilers, violent images, torture, self-loathing, depression, refusing to eat, eluding to SA, codependency, hurt/comfort, angst, blood drinking, injuries, brief mentions of sex (if you squint). If I missed a tag, let me know.

Summary: What started as a great day at the Circus of the Last Days ends with Astarion gaining insight from a fortune teller into his future as the ascendant vampire and Tav as Bhaal’s chosen. Astarion decides to face Cazador alone and keeps it a secret from Tav–slipping into the night and leaving only a small note. Halsin is there, promising to watch over Tav. However, Tav suffers in his absence (sometimes lashing out at Halsin), but Astarion knows it is better than the alternative–their collective demise and the loss of love.

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✧*̥˚ Astarion POV *̥˚✧

The Circus of the Last Days was teeming with excitement and laughter, children with face paint ran rampant through the grounds, weaving through the stalls where merchants yelled at passersby looking to make a pretty copper. Other stalls tried to sell the promise of financial abundance with the spin of a wheel, but it was all too easy for me to see they were rigged to steal money from the pockets of the idiotic. Their tactful manipulation is reminiscent of the days I spent as Cazador’s puppet, luring people in with the luxury of pleasure beyond their wildest imaginations.

It was not a bad business strategy, to be sure. But stealing straight from the pockets of the unaware was a quicker solution to our financial needs. I look towards Tav, watching the way her eyes scanned the crowd with quiet excitement. A smile plays on my lips. After all the danger we have faced, the chaotic nature of our adventures has not dimmed the light in her eyes–the happiness that paints her aura in such beautiful vibrant colors.

I wish the same could be said for myself. I can practically feel the looming shadow of the Szarr palace on the horizon, its threatening presence taunting me at every turn–reminding me of the centuries of pain, torment, and abuse Cazador subjected me to. My fists tighten, and I try to steady my breathing lest I spiral into a dark and violent rage–revenge feeding the anger that once laid dormant in the pit of my stomach. I can almost feel the sting of his blade carving his infernal contract into my back, blood slipping from my back in blooming rivulets where steel meets flesh. I grind my teeth at the memory.

“Astarion, look!” Tav squeals with childish glee snapping me out of my tortured reverie. Murderous as she was, her innocent nature overrode her violent tendencies in this moment. Her bloodlust replaced by the overwhelming need to momentarily forget our places in the world–the parts we were meant to play. I follow her gaze and spot a fortune teller’s tent nestled between two stalls selling enchanted jewelry and exotic furs, their claims of authenticity are laughable. To the untrained eye, one would easily fall for such fraudulent claims, but I knew better. Honestly, how this group would survive without my expertise was beyond me.

Tav closes the distance between us and looks up at me with rounded eyes and a pouty lip, “We should try it!” My mouth twitches, threatening to split my face in two. 

“Darling,” I warn playfully, “Need I remind you that half these booths are wasteful ventures that we should avoid? We might as well throw our money in the garbage. Besides,” I drag a knuckle down her jawline to the base of her throat, “I’m the only one who should be draining you dry.” My words have their desired effect, her skin flushing–the smell of her blood carried on the warm breeze wafts to my nostrils. The elation I feel from her scent alone makes my mouth water.

A sharp raspy voice cuts through our moment, “You. Vampire.” I snap my head towards the fortune teller’s tent, a wrinkled decrepit woman leers at me with glassy eyes. Her long robes draped to the ground and her back is hunched painfully behind her, diminishing her height by at least a foot.

“In the flesh,” I bow sarcastically in her direction. Uncertainty washes through my entire body  and I feel Tav stiffen at my side.

“We have much to discuss regarding your future,” She murmurs, her voice grates my ears in the most unpleasant ways.

I sneer, “I doubt you have anything worthwhile to spew, hag,” I growl coldly. I wasn’t about to fall for her thieving tricks. Our gold would be better spent elsewhere.

She wheezes out a laugh, “You will pay a heftier price without my help.” It’s as if she has read my mind. Probably just another party trick meant to lure people into spending money they do not have. However, something tugs at the back of my mind–warning me that she is true to her word.

Halsin moves to my side and places a burly hand on my shoulder, the weight only adding to my own doubts, “Hear the woman out, my heart,” he whispers, “I sense no deception from her.” Tav is nodding her head in agreement, her eyes wide with apprehension and anxiety, and I groan at their collective consensus. It was almost annoying having two people intent on drowning me with their unconditional care. Almost.

After a moment of quiet contemplation, I finally give in, “Fine, my dears,” I huff unenthusiastically, “But I expect to be showered in apologies when I come back empty-handed,” I roll my eyes.

 Halsin chuckles behind me, “Don't worry, my Star. Everything will be alright.”

“We'll be here, waiting for you,” Tav says on my other side, giving me a reassuring squeeze on the arm and a light kiss on the cheek.

I gulp and swallow my pride before entering the witch's tent. Incense wafts through the air, sending tendrils of smoke curling to the sky. Various charms hang from the walls and the shelves are littered with trinkets, tomes, and dead creatures in jars of liquid. It is all very pedestrian.

“Spawn,” the hag’s grotesque voice rings through the air snapping me out of my reverie, “Save your judgements for the future,” she gestures at an empty chair across from her, divided by a small table with a crystal ball centered in the middle. Her consistent peek into my thoughts was unnerving but not unexplainable considering the wall of potions seated behind her against the back of the tent. She most likely used a mind-reading potion. It felt more invasive than a stake in the ribs, to be fair.

I cautiously take a seat across from the hag, impatience brimming on my tongue, “Let’s just get this little performance over with.” I roll my eyes and take a relaxed pose, watching the hag expectantly.

“I can assure you, dear Astarion, that this is no performance,” she pins me down with her glassy stare, “Devils whisper in my ear, speaking of your demise. I rather think you should hear me out.”

Her words sway me slightly, the promise of a devil should not be heeded lightly, nor the promise of one’s demise. I huff exasperatingly, “Fine, spin me your tale of the future.”

She smiles lightly before fishing in the pockets of her robe, pulling out an ambiguous vial of clear liquid and reaching across the table, offering the strange elixir with an open palm, “Drink and we may begin.”

I eye the vial cautiously, a putrid smell wafts through the air, promising bitterness on the tongue. I snatch the vial from her hand and drink before I can change my mind. I am doing this for Tav and Halsin if nothing else. The bitter liquid slides down my throat with ease, souring my stomach immediately. Warmth immediately washes over me, rivaling the warmth I feel when drinking from the necks of my partners. 

My head begins to swim as magic rolls through my body in thick undulating waves, threatening to pull me under. I steady myself, gripping the side of the table in front of me for support as I ride out the arcane sensation. 

“Peer into the crystal ball, Astarion,” the witch commands, “I have much to reveal.”

I focus my eyes on the object in front of me, the crystal ball that was once clear suddenly swims with visions too quick for me to latch on to. The dizzying effects of the elixir begin to subside ever so slightly, and the images in the crystal ball begin to slow, flashing images of Cazador carving scars into my back with agonizing precision. I wince at the memories, feeling the sharp pain of torture carving into my back.

“Your former master, Cazador, has made an infernal pact with a devil it seems,” the hag rasps pragmatically.

“Yes, yes,” I huff through gritted teeth, ignoring the searing pain of my scars, “I already know he plans to complete the Rite of Profane Ascension. Tell me something I don’t know.” I ball my hands into fists, wishing to forget the torture Cazador put me through that night and willing away other, darker thoughts of being sequestered in a tomb–a year of darkness and pathetic attempts of escape.

The image of my scars reflected in the crystal ball dissipate and are replaced by images of my former targets–people I willingly lured to Cazador in the hopes that he would not punish me again, but instead finding new forms of punishment through using my body in ways that I would never have consented to if I hadn’t been chained to his power. Something is different about the victims that stare at me through the curved glass, their eyes are blood-red now, familiar scars mark their bodies, and they suffer behind gilded bars under the Szarr palace.

“Your targets still breathe, newly changed, serving as a blood sacrifice. Seven thousand souls writhe beneath the floors, facing their inevitable death.”

“T-they’re alive? But–how?” I manage to sputter, utterly bewildered by the information and the painful reality that has just been set before me. They have suffered decades–no, centuries–beneath the palace. I thought they were dead. They should be dead. But–why? Then the truth hits me like a ton of bricks. Their souls will be exchanged for his ascension. Not just seven spawn, but seven thousand souls. It takes all my strength to keep from collapsing onto the floor in anguish. This cannot be happening. Cazador has played me for such a fool. Anger wells in my chest and I have to restrain myself from throwing the crystal ball across the room.

“Control yourself, spawn” the hag eyes me cautiously, “the truth of your future has yet to be revealed.”

I suddenly feel as if I want to empty all the contents of my stomach onto the floor as the bitter taste of the elixir dances across my tongue. What more could there possibly be? Was I even prepared to face it?

Before I have time to decide, the images shift yet again. A vague shape takes form, and the person in the crystal ball stares back at me with a familiar gaze. It takes me a moment to realize that I am looking at myself, but it only feels like a stranger staring back at me. Tav enters the frame and stands next to me, a worried expression painted across her features. My eyes look crazed and hungry for something more. I look at the hag for clarity, but she urges me to keep watching.

The images shift again, and I am standing over Cazador’s bruised body. He cowers below me as I grip a dagger in my hand. Suddenly, I am barking orders directed at Tav, pleading with her to connect our tadpoles so that I can copy the scars from my back into Cazador’s flesh.

Relief washes over me as I realize that everything I have been fighting for would be worth it if my future promised my own ascension in my former master’s place. His body, the bodies of my brothers and sisters, and the targets I lured to the palace disintegrate into ashy piles as power flows through my body, centered in the middle of the bloody Black Mass. Revenge never looked so sweet.

“Do not forget yourself, Astarion,” the hag breaks me from my concentrated stare, “You will lose your soul too.”

I take a moment before answering, “That is not an unreasonable transaction, especially if it means I become powerful enough to protect myself and the ones I care about. Nobody would harm me ever again,” I lean back and cross my arms over my chest, the tension from earlier melting away as I sit with this new reality.

The witch eyes me wearily before continuing, “You seem so concerned with protecting Tav from danger, but who will protect her from you?” She waves her hand over the crystal ball, willing the previous images of the ritual away and replacing them with images of Tav. Her vermillion eyes are illuminated, watching me with practiced reverence. Puncture wounds scar her neck, and her movements are sharper and more precise. So, she would allow me to turn her if it meant spending eternity with me. A small smirk plays on my lips.

“I hardly see how her becoming a vampire is any consolation,” I bark with renewed arrogance.

“Not a vampire,” the hag replies sharply, “a spawn. Forever a slave–bending to your will.”

I brush off her remark, “I would never treat her as Cazador treated me. Do not act like you know the first thing about me.” 

An amused grin pulls at the corners of her crusted lips, “Your soul says that now, but do not forget that you sacrifice that and so much more by choosing this path.”

I roll my eyes and focus on the crystal ball once again. Reflecting back at me are the same eyes I’ve come to adore, but now they look pained and resentful as they stare back at me. I falter momentarily, and if my heart were still alive, it would die all over again.

“W-well,” I stammer, back-pedaling slightly, “I’m sure the power dynamic would be…unsavory. But I’m confident Tav would still find it in her heart to love me,” I whisper, trying to convince myself rather than the hag. I continue to watch as darkness shrouds the eyes of my beloved and I begin to feel less sure of myself with every passing second. 

“A vampire’s greatest threat is another vampire,” the hag recites, mirroring the words I uttered not long ago, “The love you have cultivated will be nothing more than ash in your mouth,” she warns.

I shift uncomfortably in my seat but remain silent. “You will set Tav down a dark path of her own should you choose to ascend,” her words do not falter at this admission, and I know she speaks the truth.

As if to solidify her words, the images shift yet again. Now Tav stands before the bloodied walls of Bhaal’s underground temple, Orin dead at her feet. She is faced with an avatar of her father, and she kneels before him accepting her fate as his chosen. The promise of carnage and violence flits through her eyes as she transforms into a grotesque slayer, her features warped by the bloodied maw of the beast, all emotion siphoned from her eyes as murderous intent envelopes her completely. 

All words on my tongue fall away as I stare at all she has become–everything she has valiantly resisted now a distant memory…an empty promise that echoes of slaughter. “She..” I choke out the words, “She accepts her fate as Bhaal’s chosen if I ascend?” I peered up at the hag, wishing I could wipe the smugness from her wrinkled face. 

“Truly a terrifying couple,” she rasps, “reviled by all… and resented by one another.” 

I look down in shock as the images twist grotesquely into a new picture. My powers wash through Tav’s body, forcing her to act against her will. I force myself to watch, even though I wish very badly to tear my eyes from the horrible images. Tav grips a dagger, hanging still in the air as if frozen in time, inches away from piercing my heart... So, I will drive her to murderous rage, so much so that she would willingly kill me. The love that once hung between us is now non-existent as hate fills her eyes.

So, this is what's to come… Unimaginable power at the expense of my soul… Tav’s soul… and the budding love that lies between us. The promise of death and murder the last thread tying us together.

I stare dumbfounded as the new revelation washes over me, more powerful than Cazador’s power imbuing me with his will. 

“This cannot be…” I whisper, my hands trembling at my sides. My body racks with pain as I continue to watch. The bloody future unfolds before me as our bodies lay lifeless beside one another. Our inevitable demise ends at the hands of one another, effectively destroying the trust and mutual care we have built together… between each other. The images fade to black, leaving a deep-seated wound in my heart.

“This,” the hag gestures towards the now empty crystal ball, “is to be your fate, if you so choose.”

I sit frozen, too stunned to speak. Tears threaten to flood my eyes and anger washes through my body with agonizing intensity. “Why,” I ask through gritted teeth, “Why show me all this?” My words now sting with acid, “Why, help me?” I stand suddenly, knocking the table off kilter. 

The hag grabs the crystal ball before it has a chance to shatter on the floor. A part of me wishes it had, as if that would undo the future it laid before me. She eyes me sternly before reaching into her robes once again and retrieving a card. She hands it to me, and I reach out and snatch it from her hands, letting anger control my limbs.

The card is decorated with a kaleidoscope of colors and gold foil, its design is ostentatious and obtrusive. I flip it over to find an image of two bodies romantically entwined and the phrase “The Lovers” embellished along the bottom. I look at the hag, waiting for her to elaborate.

“Because…” she says after a moment of contemplation, “I wish someone had extended the same courtesy to me when I was younger.”

I simply stared at her, half wondering what she had experienced to end up in a place like this. I lower the card on the table and turn to leave. I hover just before the exit and turn my head, “This… is a gift you know. I will never forget it.” I drop a satchel of gold on a nearby table before exiting the tent without another word, steeling myself to face Tav.

Should I tell her? I think it would be unwise, but guilt wracks my body as I see the look of pure love that adorns her face when she catches sight of me. Her features are now covered in face paint, and I cannot hide my own amusement. But it feels shallow, the weight of my future encumbers me and every step I take towards Tav…every second I look into her beautiful eyes is just another reminder of what she could become–of what I would enable. 

I slip into my charming facade, choosing to hide the looming threat that hangs over my shoulders like a wraith clings to the shadows. 

“Astarion!” Tav squeals excitedly, “What did she tell you?” Her body shivers with anticipation, and she hops enthusiastically on her heels as she waits patiently for my reply.

“Nothing of note, really,” I wave her off nonchalantly, “Just the usual propaganda a lonely wench spouts hoping to siphon money from her visitors.”

“Oh,” Tav looks down, disappointed, “Like what?”

“Finding love,” I say, lifting her chin with the tip of my finger. Her eyes find mine and light up at the prospect, “Accruing unimaginable wealth and happiness if I follow my dreams. That sort of thing,” the lie falls easily from my lips and I scold myself internally for resorting to shallow lies, especially where Tav is concerned. We have built a bond based on trust and consent. I have already tainted that bond by withholding the truth, depriving her of her right to know what the future holds.

I try to push down the guilt that rips through me, more painful than any injury I have sustained on our road to Baldur’s Gate thus far–and there were times I was close to death. But this pain is incomparable. Self-loathing starts to creep its way through my very bones, threatening to shatter my carefully rehearsed mask.

“Uh, darling” I say carefully, “I’m suddenly not feeling well. Perhaps we should head back to camp.”

Tav eyes me warily. I’m almost certain she knows that I am hiding something–her attunement to my many masks have sharpened over the months and I silently curse myself for being so predictable at this moment. 

If she suspects anything, she makes no mention of it but agrees that we should head back to camp. Halsin promises to fashion some sort of tincture to soothe whatever ails me and I acquiesce, trying to widen the berth between me and their suspicion. 

Back at camp I withdraw into my tent, pacing the small enclosure reminiscing on the words spoken by the witch. I was filled with dread and wracked with guilt. Tav's unconditional loyalty towards me would be nothing but a tool of manipulation I would use to seek power that I now realize should never belong to me, no matter how intensely I craved it as a means of protection. 

I could be up front with Tav, but I knew she would urge me to face Cazador with her by my side–always the hero. The promise of power would be too much to turn down, like a shiny hook baiting a fish. Tav’s loyalty and unbreakable need to please me would prove an easy avenue for manipulation–something that would surely end with our inevitable demise. I couldn’t put myself in a position to force her hand, and I absolutely could not put Tav in a position to accept her own dark fate. Her love was the first good thing to happen to me in the centuries since I became a vampire, and it could be undone so easily. I could not let that happen, even if it meant facing Cazador alone.

It was the only way.

“Astarion,” Tav’s sweet voice filters through the tent, breaking me from my thoughts. She pulls back the flap of my tent after a moment and looks at me with caution in her eyes.

“Yes, my dear?” I slip back into my easy facade, knowing full well what needs to be done.

She closes the distance between us, careful not to touch me without permission. Always the astute observer. I smile softly at her, trying to repress the memories of her deadened eyes as they looked at me with resentment. That was not her. It would not be us.

“H-how are you feeling?” She shifts nervously, fully aware that something weighs heavy on my mind.

“Honestly? I’m just feeling a little overwhelmed. Arriving in Baldur’s Gate has stirred some… unpleasant memories.” It wasn’t a complete lie, just an omission of the entire truth.

“I understand,” She whispers carefully, “I’ll always be here when you need me. You won’t face this alone.” Determination fills her eyes and I know she wholeheartedly believes the words she speaks. I do too. 

“Thank you, my love,” I whisper after a moment, my words painted with sincere gratitude. I don’t expect her to forgive me for what I’m about to do. But it is the only way I can protect her. I reach out and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. She gives me the strength to do the right thing.

Tav turns to leave but stops short and looks over her shoulder, “You can feed on me tonight, if you like.” My breath hitches in my throat. My attempt at selflessness falls short as she offers herself so freely to me. I knew it would be selfish of me to accept, knowing that I would vanish from camp while she unknowingly slept. But it could also be my best chance at surviving the encounter with Cazador. Would she forgive me if I made it out alive?

“I-I’ll…okay my dear,” my mask falters momentarily, “I’ll see you tonight. Thank you.” I bow my head with gratitude as she exits the tent.

As I wait for the sun to set, I fill my time with mindless reading around the campfire, searching through various texts that might provide useful information for the fight to come. I sift through a particularly dull tome when something falls from between the pages, fluttering to the ground like a feather being shed from a bird.

For a moment I look at the object, completely bewildered by what lay at my feet. I reach down and pick up the card. The words “The Lovers” are inscribed across the bottom edge. The witch’s tarot card stares back at me as if to taunt me. “What in the nine hells,” I whisper to myself.

“What’s the matter, my heart?” Halsin’s booming voice echoes behind me, and I spin on my heels, quickly tucking the card in my pocket.

“Oh Halsin! My dear, you startled me,” I laugh nervously, “Actually, there’s something I need to confess. I trust you will understand and assist me in this one thing.” Although our relationship is newer, I trusted Halsin with my life, and Tav’s life. I know he will watch over her while I am away–however long that might be. Hopefully not forever.

“Of course,” Halsin’s face softens, “I shall lend you an ear.”

I pull Halsin to my tent discreetly, eyeing Tav across camp as she accompanies Gale while he cooks.

I quickly relay all that the witch showed me, Halsin’s face falling with concern when I deliver the horrid news. A small weight was lifted from my shoulders at the confession.

“That is concerning,” Halsin whispers, “How are you feeling?” he reaches out and caresses my cheek tenderly.

I laugh sarcastically, “Not well, as you might imagine. That is why I need you to watch over Tav while I slip out of camp and face Cazador alone.” The weight of my words causes Halsin to still.

“Astarion,” his voice shaky, “You’re certain this is the only way? What if–” his sentence dies on his lips, too difficult to utter the very words that haunt me as well.

“I have to try,” I whisper after a moment, “Even if it means I won't make it back,” speaking the words aloud suddenly makes them feel real. It was a possibility I would die and Cazador succeeded in completing the ritual. But I was out of options.

“Tav will be devastated,” Halsin’s concerned tone washes over me, only adding to my fears.

“Yes, well,” I laugh nervously, “It is better than the alternative. I am sure you would agree.” I pause before continuing, knowing the next part will be difficult for him to swallow, “She cannot know where I’ve gone–this is important, Halsin. She will follow me, and all of this will be for naught. It’s… for her own good.”

After quiet contemplation Halsin agrees, “ She will not see it that way, Astarion, but I promise to do as you say, my Star. But you must make it back to us. A world without you would be unjust,” his voice breaks. I slip him a folded note and instruct him to give it to Tav once she notices my absence.

I smile and pull him in close, placing a soft kiss on his lips. His arms wrap around me protectively–an unsaid goodbye passes between us. I pull away before I can change my mind.

“Thank you, Halsin. I will not forget what you have done for us,” I nod before exiting the tent. There was nothing left to say.

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✧*̥˚ Tav POV *̥˚✧

I search among our companions for Astarion. He has been particularly aloof this evening and I could not ignore the concern as it flooded through my veins. I knew that arriving on the doorstep of Baldur’s Gate would be difficult for him, but I couldn’t shake this feeling that he was avoiding me. If he wanted his space, I would respectfully take a step back while he sorted through his feelings, but I couldn't help but worry that he was spiraling into a dark void that would be impossible to pull him from. At what point do I step in? I tread a fragile line–one that could potentially cross over into territory that I wished to avoid at all costs if I wanted to carefully respect his boundaries.

Even still, something awful churned in my stomach–a sense of foreboding tugged at the recesses of my mind. I’ve learned to trust my intuitive nature. My life training in the Temple of Bhaal sharpened my instincts into a fine point that rivaled the very daggers we equipped ourselves with. However, even years of honing my mind will not assist in revealing what darkness lingers on the horizon, until it has fallen upon me. It’s blinding disruption, a promise that haunts me. If only it would reveal itself before it’s too late.

I look up to the sky, its domed shape spattered with twinkling stars, heckling me with false hope. If any gods could hear my silent prayers, they showed no sign of acknowledgement. Praying was a trivial pursuit, but it felt right in this moment, even if they went unanswered. I know not what lies ahead, but I knew it was not good. 

“Quite the sight,” Astarion whispers from behind me, mirroring the hollow words he once spoke in the first few nights of our meeting. I spin around to find his vermillion eyes watching me with a careful expression, “You, I mean.” He whispers, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

I let out a breathy laugh, relief washing over me as his presence pulls me away from the impending dread that inhabits my body.

He opens his arms invitingly, ushering me into his cool embrace. I gladly comply, welcoming the feel of his body against mine. His arms wrap around my waist and pull me in tight, threatening to never let go.

“I missed you,” I whispered in his ear.

“I haven’t gone anywhere, darling,” he laughs quietly.

“I know. But every moment that I am away from you is more agonizing than the last.” His body stiffens at my truthful words and panic begins to settle in the pit of my stomach. I hope I haven't crossed a line. “Sorry,” I amend quickly, “I just enjoy your company.”

He pulls away, but keeps his arms firmly wrapped around my waist, his smile is soft, but it doesn’t quite meet his eyes, “You know I enjoy your company as well, darling. I fear I wouldn’t survive without it.” There was some underlying meaning to his words, but before I could inquire further, he pulled me in for a kiss.

I lace my fingers through his ivory curls–his touch melting away all the tension that burdened me only a moment before. His kiss steadily grows hungrier, his tongue slipping between my lips as he sought out my own. He sighs against me as our tongues slide against one another.

All too soon he pulls away, planting small kisses along my jaw and down my throat. The reverence laced in his kisses leave small confessions against my flesh.

“I’m going to turn in early tonight, my dear,” he whispers against my skin in between small kisses.

“Alright,” I whisper shakily, “Are you forgoing dinner tonight?”

His lips halt against my throat and he inhales deeply before pulling away and looking into my eyes with a worried expression, as if internally warring with himself.

“I–no,” he whispers after a moment, tearing his gaze away from me with a guilty expression. My deep-seated curiosity takes hold as I watch a wash of emotions cross his face, “I would like that very much.”

“O-okay,” I whisper suspiciously. 

Before I can ask what burdens him, he pulls me to my tent and patiently waits for me to lie comfortably on my bedroll. What ensues feels less intimate than usual, and more of a formality. I let my questions die on my lips, chalking up his rigidity to the earlier confession he laid at my feet when I had visited him in his tent. I only wished he were comfortable and happy. He laps eagerly at the blood he pulls from my veins, taking his fill.

Once he was finished, he placed reassuring kisses along the puncture wounds that marked my  throat as his. The camp had fallen quiet outside my tent, my companions choosing to rest their weary eyes on this early evening. 

“Do you mind if I linger, until you find rest,” Astarion asks, a glimpse of vulnerability flashes across his sharp features.

“I would love nothing more,” I whisper, relieved. I quickly change into my bedclothes, Astarion’s eyes lingering on my form as I slip into something more comfortable. 

I slide into my bedroll and Astarion pulls me in close, nuzzling his head into the crook of my shoulder. I wrap my arms tightly around him, lazily running my fingers through his silver curls with one hand and tracing words into the cold flesh of his back with the other, careful not to touch his sensitive scars.

“I could stay like this forever,” I admit into his well-manicured curls, his scent comforting me beyond reprieve. 

Astarion lets out a tortured groan and holds me tighter, “Me too,” he finally confesses, “Me too, my love.”

His embrace eventually lulls me into a deep, dreamless slumber. His proximity stirred a deep sense of comfort within me that only reveals itself when he is near. 

I did not feel as he carefully slipped into the night.

Beams of sunlight filter through the tent, bathing me in its gilded illumination. I wipe the sleep from my eyes, rolling over reaching out for Astarion. My hand lands on the empty bedroll. I frown, wishing he had stayed through the night.

Something savory wafts through the air and I can hear the sizzle of meat in a pan over the fire. Even as the inviting aroma assaults my senses, something stirs in the morning air. The camp is unusually quiet. By now, I should hear the excited lilt of Karlach’s voice–she was always a morning person. I should hear Gale delighting in telling stories of Waterdeep. I should hear Lae’zel sharpening her weapons, or Shadowheart reprimanding someone for being too reckless during battle. At the very least I should hear Astarion, his voice dripping with disdain at the breakfast we gorge ourselves on each morning, or the playful complaints of our current accommodations–sleeping in the dirt like commoners when there was a perfectly accommodating establishment in the Lower City. 

Instead, silence creeps through my tent threatening to swallow me whole. Something stirs in the air, reminiscent of the dread I felt last night before Astarion approached me. 

I quickly gather myself before exiting the tent, not even concerned with changing into day clothes. Immediately I see Halsin across camp, whispering to a huddle of companions. Their hushed tones not quite reaching my ears.

“What’s going on,” I immediately felt panic rise in my throat.

All the companions fall silent as they whip their heads towards me. I immediately note Astarion is not among them. But that wasn’t unusual. Their behavior, however, was.

The companions stared at me momentarily before falling into their usual routine ignoring the suspicious glare I sent their way like daggers in their backs.

“Good morning, Tav. You must be famished! Come grab yourself a plate. You look like you need sustenance,” Gale rambles. I watched him carefully but headed towards the fire anyway, the remnants from Astarion’s feeding last night left me feeling light-headed still.

I sit silently as I eat. The companions were careful in my presence, offering me kind words as if to distract me from something. Their diversion was obvious. I leave my food half-finished behind as I stomp towards Halsin. He watches me approach, his face unreadable but his eyes guarded.

“What the hell is going on, Halsin?” I demand, “Why is everyone acting so strangely?” I cock my hip to the side and cross my arms over my chest waiting for an explanation. 

“Nothing slips through the cracks with you, my heart,” he laughs. It doesn’t reach his eyes and I know he is hiding something. 

“Quit stalling, Halsin,” I snap. My temper was burning on a short fuse this morning, and even though I felt bad for snapping at Halsin, who has done nothing but show kindness and patience towards me, he was obviously keeping something from me.

“Perhaps, we should go to your tent and talk,” he places a large hand on the small of my back, but I whip away from him.

“No. We will talk here. Tell me, what is going on?” The camp falls quiet and alerts me that everyone, aside from me, knows what is happening.

Halsin falters, and I look around the camp searching for something out of place. What has made them so worried?

“Tav,” Halsin whispers with careful explication, “Astarion is gone.”

His words envelope me, and I stare in disbelief as they swirl around in my head. “Gone? What does that mean?”

He sighs and refuses to meet my gaze, “He left.”

Darkness threatens to overtake my vision as his words settle in the pit of my stomach like a stone falling to the bottom of a lake.

I spin on my heels and tear through Astarion’s tent. The emptiness that stares back at me feels like a slap in the face. I feel my breath quicken, threatening to send me into overdrive until I’m hyperventilating.

I storm out of his tent, “Where?” I whisper, my fists involuntarily balling at my sides as I try to control the bubbling anger that threatens to spill over into unbridled rage. All I can see is red.

Halsin walks towards me cautiously, the whole company trailing behind him with worried expressions painted across their faces, “My heart–”

“WHERE?” I yell, all patience evaporates from my body.

Halsin quietly pulls a piece of parchment from his pocket and hands it to me slowly. I snatch it and unfold it, scared of what I might read.

I stared at his elegant handwriting, unable to soak in the words that stared back at me. This tells me nothing other than Astarion was gone. He had intentionally left. But for what purpose?

I fold the note and head to my tent, quickly changing into clothes more suitable for travel. I need to take a walk.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

✧*̥˚ Astarion POV *̥˚✧

I spent the first couple of nights quietly scouting out the Szarr palace, watching as guards came and went. I hadn’t seen any of my brothers and sisters since I arrived at my discreet hiding place. I knew the city like the back of my hand, having spent years watching the city grow even when my purpose had stayed the same. 

“Your only purpose is to lure back pretty things for your Master, boy,” Cazador’s words ricochet through my skull, “By any means necessary. Let them use you, gain their trust with your pretty words and face.”

I try to shake the words from my mind, but arriving on his doorstep only heightened the centuries of memories and torment. Long nights chained in the kennels with nothing but dead rats to sate my appetite flit through my mind. The painful bite of the whip as it bit into my flesh. My screams echoing through the palace, feeding the egos of my captors. 

Your screams sound the sweetest.

I knew that returning to this godsforsaken place would be a painful reminder of what once was, but it was more difficult to face alone than I had previously planned. I caught myself on several occasions turning my head, thinking Tav was standing next to me–a habit that I had become more than accustomed to.

I try to shake my thoughts from Tav. I cannot imagine how angry she must be with me. If I dwell on it too long, I will abandon all control and run back to her with pleas of forgiveness falling from my lips.

I checked my inventory one last time, having stockpiled supplies, potions, and weapons. I was ready. I slip in, undetected, having done this thousands of times before–but never with murder on my mind.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

✧*̥˚ Tav POV *̥˚✧

The nights were cold and agonizing. I could not sleep. My mind retraced our last day together. Something in Astarion’s demeanor had shifted after he visited the fortune teller. What had the witch said to him? I was almost certain that was the pivotal moment when things changed. 

The day had gone by in a blur. I stormed from camp and walked through the streets of Baldur’s Gate, searching for a glimpse of my silver-haired vampire. My urges thrummed in my chest and diabolical whispers filled my ears–my anger igniting their hunger.

I interrogated as many people as I could–barkeeps, guards, and merchants. Some required a knife to the throat to cooperate. I was perpetually having to cool my blood and ignore thoughts of maiming during their interrogation. I scared even myself at times. However, no one had captured a glimpse of Astarion. I shouldn’t be surprised; he had perfected the art of slipping undetected through the city streets for centuries.

By the time I returned to camp empty-handed the first night, I was exhausted. Gale tried to push a plate of food in my hands, but I was too high-strung to eat. Halsin was persistent in checking on me as I lay in my tent while I tried to push down the tears that threatened to spill. I was on the precipice of shattering completely.

Then the anger started to settle in. I numbly traced the puncture wounds that marred my neck. The only evidence that Astarion still existed. I was angry at him for leaving. For drinking from my neck and lying with me in my tent before slipping into the night–never to be seen.

I was angry that he left without a clue as to where he was going. I could not help but wonder if he was going to face Cazador. But it didn’t make sense. He was adamant that he needed my help to face his old master. What would push him to go back? I was not sure I wanted to find out.

The yawning breadth of despair sits like a cavern where my heart once beat with elation in his presence. I was not sure how much longer I could entertain thoughts of him pulled back under Cazador’s control. Images of Astarion’s limp body under the Szarr palace plagued my thoughts. What if he had been captured? What if Cazador had sacrificed him and completed the ritual? But why would Astarion willingly stroll back into his own torment? I knew the answer. He wouldn’t. But the witch–she knew something.

After a restless night pacing through camp, I headed out on my own to the Circus of the Last Days, refusing the company of my companions. The witch would divulge what she knew. She was the only lead I had. I would force it from her if I had to.

My heart sank when I saw her tent was absent. The merchants that had sat on either side of her said she had packed her things and left just the day before. I grip the hilt of my dagger, anger surging through my veins as whispers of murder rang in my ears. I knew I was treading a dangerous path. My anger had become untethered, and my murderous nature boiled just below the surface, yearning to break free.

After long hours of wandering the streets, staking out the Szarr palace, and harassing people in the street, I return yet again empty-handed back to camp.

“My heart,” Halsin pulls me into a hug, brushing the hair from my face, “I know you are worried about him. I am too. But you must take care of yourself. You haven’t slept. You haven’t eaten. You are out all day long. Let me care for you.”

The past two days I had been drowning in my own guilt over the way I had snapped at Halsin. But my anger and determination to find Astarion overpowered any rational thought. 

“The thought of living normally… Taking care of myself… feels wrong when he is out there somewhere,” Halsin gently runs his fingers through my tangled hair, trying his best to comfort me. “Why?” I choke, “Why would he leave? I don’t understand.” A tear slips from my eyes, and I can no longer hold back my despair. I cried into Halsin’s shoulder. My sobs echoed through the camp. I didn’t care who witnessed it. 

Halsin continues to comfort me. He helps me slip into my night clothes and brushes my hair, ushering me to put something in my stomach. I nibbled on a small piece of Waterdhavian cheese, but it tasted like ash in my mouth. I realize that all the luxuries of life–all the magic that one could find in the small mundane things, such as the taste of food or the vibrant colors of the city, did not matter if Astarion was not there to experience it with me.

Halsin brewed me some tea, promising that it would help me sleep. He offers to stay with me, but I regrettably turn him away, electing to be alone with my thoughts. With my despair.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

✧*̥˚ Astarion POV *̥˚✧

It was surprisingly easy to clear the main floor of Cazador’s palace. I took special pleasure in killing Godey, one of my main tormentors aside from Cazador. His screams echoed against the kennel walls, his empty threats silenced once and for all. 

I stood in the middle of the kennels trying to regain my composure. The ghosts that once taunted me in this room had been suddenly silenced. Their whispers effectively cut short. I remove the key to the chapel from the pile of bones that had once been Godey and make my way back to the main floor, cutting through all who stood in my path.

The humans that served Cazador in the hopes that they might one day become his spawn whimper pathetically as I slice through them without a second thought. The nocturnal horde that Cazador had amassed was no match for the centuries of rage that I had unleashed. I wore their blood like a badge of honor. A trophy of my revenge. 

But there was only one person whose blood I cared about at this moment–Cazador’s.

I pass through his study until I find the hidden lift that would descend me into hell. I steeled myself, knowing I would come face-to-face with the people whose trust I betrayed. It was one thing to prepare myself to face their inevitable wrath and suffering, but it was entirely different to witness with my own eyes.

Their vermillion glares pierced me from the other side of their gilded cages. I recognized their faces. They did not deserve this. It was all my fault.

Tav’s voice creeps into my mind unbidden, “You had no choice. This isn’t your fault. It’s his.” 

I pull the tarot card from my pocket and stare at the letters, deciphering its hidden meaning. The reminder that Tav was back at camp, hoping that I would return to her arms only strengthened my resolve. This card was meant to serve as a reminder. It reminded me of why I was doing this. It wasn’t for me. It was for us.

“I’m going to kill Cazador and free you all,” my voice was full of resolve. My previous targets stared back at me, unmoving. I don’t expect them to trust me. Not until it was done.

The smell of blood and death reverberated through the air, weighing heavy on my thoughts. I felt its influence on my mind as I traversed deeper into the underground chapel. My thoughts no longer felt like my own. The thrum of power hurtled through the air like static electricity, further warping my mind into something else–something I deeply wanted to avoid.

Finally, I reach the large ornate door leading to the ritual site. I could feel the power hitting me in undulating waves, the smell of death threatening to send me into a violent frenzy.

I take a deep breath, touching the pocket that stowed the tarot card. I let thoughts of Tav give me the strength and bravery that I desperately needed. I finally push open the doors.

“Is it true? Has our prodigal son returned?”

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

✧*̥˚ Tav POV *̥˚✧

Last night was one of the most difficult. I had not been parted from Astarion this long since our first meeting. Memories of his cool hand tracing lines in my skin, the taste of his lips, the intimate moments we shared with only the moon as a witness addled my mind. Halsin’s tea sat untouched in the corner of my tent. 

I was scared to sleep–scared of the dreams that would play like a reel in my mind. I wasn’t ready to face those quite yet. A part of me still held out hope that he would return, begging to be held in my arms like the last night we spent together. His cool skin comforted me in ways that no one else could supply. I knew I was chasing false hopes.

How could I surge forward, eager to save the world when mine had just been decimated. Selfish thoughts flitted through my mind, wishing all of Faerun could suffer like I was. The thoughts scared me. They were foreign to me–at least the new me. I felt the thorny tendrils of my past life gripping me tightly, seeping through my veins like the poison of a viper. The lonely Bhaalspawn I once was lingering behind the threshold, threatening to break the fragile barrier that I had worked so hard to build.

Astarion made me realize that all she had needed was love–a tender touch. Something to care for. But that had been ripped from my grasp, and the shattered girl I once was slowly began to reveal herself once again.

The camp was active, but I was too depressed to leave my bed. I knew that if I continued to tear apart the city looking for evidence that Astarion still existed would turn up nothing. He had vanished, just as quickly as he had come. 

My eyelids are heavy with exhaustion. My limbs ache from lack of sleep and food. My eyes close against my will, and I fall into a dark slumber filled with dreams of Astarion.

A commotion in camp wakes me from my sleep, images of Baldur’s Gate flooded with blood and viscera rescind from behind my eyes as I try to take hold of my surroundings.

Outside, I hear urgent voices. Shadowheart is yelling out a list of potions and ingredients for healing, “Astarion, stay with us.”

All the lingering effects of sleep drain from my body when I hear his name. I scramble out of my tent, tripping over my own feet. I look up to find Astarion collapsed on the outskirts of our camp, bloodied and bruised.

A strangled cry escapes my lips as I run towards him. No. no. Don’t die.

I’m hovering over Astarion, clasping his hand in mine. His labored breathing is shallow and painful.

“Astarion,” I cry, choking on my own sobs.

His eyes open slowly, and he squeezes my hand weakly, “D-darling. I-I’m terribly sorry,” he sputters before his eyes fall closed again and his arm goes limp.

“Shadowheart,” I cry, panic rising in my throat.

“Let me work,” she murmurs, casting restoration and healing spells, her hands working methodically.

Halsin wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me away. I fight against him, thrashing violently, “No,” I scream.

“Let her work, Tav, she can heal him,” I hear the uncertainty in his voice.

“LET. ME. GO.” I scream, maneuvering out of his grip and falling to my knees beside Astarion. Halsin paces behind me, running a hand through his hair, clearly trying to stay calm for my sake. But I can tell he is just as concerned.

“Astarion, please,” I whimper, running a hand through his hair, ignoring the blood that paints his curls red and pink, “Stay with me. Don’t… Don’t leave me again.” 

Shadowheart works throughout the day, patching up any visible wounds and casting spell after spell. Finally, as the sun begins to slip from the sky, she announces that he will be fine. But he has fallen into a deep rest so that his body has time to heal.

I don’t leave his side for three days, counting his breaths and wiping the sweat that dampens his brow. I whisper encouraging words to him when others aren’t around, coaxing him to wake up. All of my anger was abandoned and forgotten. Halsin stayed with us as much as he could, only leaving to eat and sleep.

The third night, Halsin exits the tent to catch up on sleep. The bags under his eyes grow heavier with each passing day. He forces tea into my hands, practically begging me to sleep. I promise that I will try. I give him a soft kiss and whisper apologies for my decorum these past few days. I felt like an awful partner. Halsin waves off my concerns, showing nothing but understanding and kindness. He knew what Astarion meant to me.

I curl up next to Astarion, careful not to touch his wounds. It looked like he had suffered quite a bit. I saw the healing scars of knife wounds. Some looked like he had been stabbed while others were large gashes that marred his body. Even still, large bite marks and burns were scabbing over, only just staring to heal. My thoughts turn over in my head, wondering where he had gone. I felt deep down I already knew the answer.

I gulp down Halsin’s tea and close my eyes, listening to Astarion’s rhythmic breathing until I finally fall asleep. 

I’m not sure how long I was out before I felt him stirring next to me. I hear a grunt as cool arms snake around my waist and pull me close. My eyes spring open and I am met with the most beautiful sight I could pray for.

Astarion’s vermillion eyes stare back at me, something haunting lingers behind them.

“Astarion,” I jump. A mixture of surprise and excitement touches my voice.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, pulling me back to his body, “I-I’m so sorry, darling.” 

I watch him as sadness and relief surface in his features. “I have so much to tell you.”

I nuzzle my head into his chest, tears spilling from my eyes, “You need to rest, Astarion,” I say choking back my sobs, “Reserve your energy, please,” I beg, “You can explain later.” I mesh my body with his, not wanting to ever be parted from him again.

He chuckles lightly beside me, his quiet laughter rumbling in his chest. He painfully leans forward to plant a kiss on my head.

“This cannot wait, darling,” he murmurs through painful breaths.

I lift my head to meet his loving gaze.

“Tav–I. I’ve had a lot of time to think. But the only thoughts that occupy my mind are thoughts of you,” he pauses to catch his breath, “You have taken hold of my heart–my soul. There is nothing–nothing I wouldn’t do for you. I–I love you,” he breathes, “and I do not want a future if it does not include you.”

He slowly and painfully pulls a card from the pockets of his bloodied discarded trousers. “You gave me the strength to save myself. I will never forget it.”

I take the card from him and study its blood splattered image. The words The Lovers stare back at me, promising a future that I yearned for more than anything.

“I love you too Astarion,” I breathe after a moment, cradling myself against his body once again, “Don’t ever leave me like that again,” I whisper into his skin, inhaling his familiar scent.

“I promise,” he whispers before falling back into a deep sleep. His breathing slows to a steady rhythm.

And for a moment, I swear I could hear the soft beating of his heart.

[ambimoon]

👀Commission for @meeshrox of their fic All It Cost Me. Full version on my BlueSky

[baldursgrave69]

A Pretty Sight - Mature

*this is my first time writing smut, I hope y’all enjoy 🫣*

Rating: NSFW - MATURE, MDNI

Pairing: Halsin x Astarion x fem!durge (named)

Word count: 2.5K

Tags: MDNI, afab!durge, threesome, unprotected sex, piv, blood drinking, vaginal fingering, feelings, oral sex

While writing this I was listening to: Take a Slice by Glass Animals

Find me on Ao3 here

“Halsin you really don’t have to come with. Gale and Astarion are joining me, I’ll be alright,” Agnes said, perched in Halsin’s lap at a table in the Elfsong Tavern. Gale, Astarion, and Agnes were planning their trip to the House of Hope, joined by Halsin who was never far from Agnes’ side. Halsin wrapped his arms around the half elf, leaning his head on her shoulder. “I know you’re perfectly capable of taking care of yourself, little thief. But I can’t just sit here while you’re in the Hells, I’d worry too much,” Halsin said as he pulled her closer. “Let him come, we can use him as a shield,” Astarion said from beside Agnes with a smirk. Agnes rolled her eyes, leaning back into Halsin’s embrace. “Ugh, fine,” she grumbled, closing her eyes. “You’re just loved, my heart. I couldn’t bear it if something happened to you while I was sitting here,” Halsin trailed off, burying his head in the crook of her neck. “Alright, alright,” Agnes said, turning to look at the druid. She cupped his face in her hands, pressing a kiss to his nose. A smile crossed Halsin’s face as Agnes pressed her forehead to his. He nuzzled his nose to Agnes’ before pressing his lips to hers. Agnes wrapped her arms around the Druid’s neck, leaning into his kiss. “Ahem, as much as I’d love to watch you two go at it, we really should focus on coming up with a plan for tomorrow,” Astarion said with a devilish grin. Gale cleared his throat, shifting in his seat awkwardly. Agnes pulled away from Halsin, pressing a kiss to his forehead before turning back towards the table.

“As we were saying earlier, it’s going to be rather pricey to get Helsik to help us get to the Hells,” Gale said, his finger drumming on his chin. “I don’t relish the idea of emptying our pockets to get to this ‘House of Hope’,” Astarion added. “I’m not worried about it,” Agnes said, lifting her mug of ale to her lips to take a sip. “Oh, did you remember you have a stack of gold somewhere? We can’t exactly afford to just give her everything we have,” Gale snipped at the rogue. Agnes narrowed her gaze at the wizard, setting down her mug. “I don’t plan on paying her anything. I was able to convince her to let me in once before, I don’t see why it would be a problem this time,” Agnes said, a hand stroking Halsin’s hair. Gale scoffed at Agnes, waving a hand at her dismissively. With a quick motion, Agnes threw her dagger at Gale, it landed just above his head, taking a bit of hair with it. “What in the hells!?” Gale yelled, ducking down as not to hit his head on the dagger lodged in the wall. “I find that I can be very persuasive. Perhaps you should trust me on this one,” Agnes said nonchalantly, hugging Halsin tightly. “Gods, you’re amazing,” Astarion said in a low tone, Halsin humming in agreement. “Oh for the love of… I’m heading to bed,” Gale grumbled, beginning to scoot out of the booth. “My knife, if you would,” Agnes said, holding out her hand towards Gale. “Get it yourself,” he snapped, standing quickly and heading up to their rented rooms.

“He’s so sensitive,” Astarion laughed, reaching over and pulling Agnes’ dagger out of the wall. She held out her hand for Astarion to give it to her, but he grabbed it with his free hand and peppered soft kisses to her wrist. “Are you hungry, my love?” Agnes asked, as Astarion looked up at her, his fangs grazing her veins. “Mm, I wouldn’t say no to a taste,” he hummed, releasing her hand and giving her the dagger. “How could you, she’s positively decadent,” Halsin said, his face nuzzled in the crook of Agnes’ neck, kissing along her tattoo. Agnes felt a shiver down her spine as she felt Astarion’s fingers ghost across her thighs. “Just what are the two of you up to?” She asked, looking over to see Astarion laying a heavy gaze on her, his bottom lip tucked between his teeth. He allowed his hand to trail along her inner thigh, his eyes blown wide with lust. “Perhaps we should head upstairs, hmm?” Astarion purred, squeezing Agnes’ leg before removing his hand. “What do you say, little thief? Would you like to have some fun?” Halsin whispered, Agnes could feel the growing erection in his trousers pressing against her leg. “I think that sounds like a lovely idea,” Agnes said, her voice coming out more breathy than intended. Halsin needed no further encouragement, he swiftly picked the half elf up, putting her over his shoulder. “Halsin!” Agnes squeaked, dizzy from the ale she had been drinking. “Save your voice darling, you’ll be screaming our names soon enough,” Astarion purred, patting Agnes’ backside as Halsin carried her up the stairs to a private room.

Halsin entered the room followed by Astarion, who swiftly closed and locked the door. The druid gently placed Agnes on the bed at the back of the room, pressing a kiss to her forehead before pulling away. Agnes propped herself up on her elbows, watching as Astarion approached the foot of the bed. “What a pretty sight,” Astarion said, crossing his arms. “Isn’t she?” Halsin agreed, licking his lips, one hand trailing down to cup his erection. “I could say the same,” Agnes said with a smirk, feeling her arousal grow as she eyed the two elves in front of her. Seeing Halsin’s sheer size next to Astarion made her clench her thighs together, growing even more wet. Astarion made his way to the bed, kicking off his shoes and pulling his tunic over his head. Agnes’ eyes trailed along the vampire’s body, her mouth hanging slightly open as she took in every inch of his beautifully smooth, pale skin. Agnes could see Halsin have a similar reaction as he eyed the other elf, the vampire looked ethereal in the candlelight. Astarion climbed up onto the bed, using a hand to spread Agnes’ legs apart and pulling himself up along her body. “I cannot wait to taste you, my love,” he whispered, his head dipping to her neck. Astarion pressed kisses to her bite scars, a hand pressing her harder onto the bed. Agnes moaned as Astarion sucked at the skin around her scars, his tongue occasionally lapping at her neck. “Astarion,” Agnes moaned breathlessly as he slipped a hand under her shirt, cupping her breast. He groaned, realizing she wasn’t wearing a bra. Astarion pulled her shirt up over her head, thumbing at her nipple causing her to whine. “What is it, little love?” Astarion said grazing his fangs across her neck and pressing his erection against her clothed clit sending a wave of pleasure through her body. “Please, just…” Agnes couldn’t get her words out, her head clouded with lust and the faintest hint of drunkenness. “What do you think, Halsin?” Astarion said, pulling away from Agnes to look at the druid. He was watching the two on the bed, palming his cock through his pants. “I think she needs to tell you what she wants,” Halsin said, walking around the side of the bed for a better view. Agnes rolled her eyes, grabbing a fistful of Astarion’s curls and pulling him into a kiss. Astarion groaned as he felt her leg come up to press against the erection straining against his pants.

Astarion pulled back, a smirk crossing his face. “So impatient,” he tutted, pushing himself back off of the bed. Agnes narrowed her gaze at him, letting her head fall back in frustration. “What do you want, my heart? Tell us,” Halsin said, cupping Agnes’ jaw and turning her to face him. Her eyes widened as she noticed Halsin had removed his trousers, his other hand wrapped around his impressive length. “Gods, Halsin,” Agnes groaned, his thumb trailing along her bottom lip. She pulled his large thumb into her mouth, swirling her tongue around it and sucking. Halsin and Astarion both let out a groan as they watched her, Astarion now quickly removing his own pants. Agnes pulled her mouth off of Halsin’s finger with a pop, spit running down her chin. Halsin wiped it off for her before pulling her into a kiss. Agnes was so lost in the druid she almost didn’t notice the tug on her bottoms. “Up,” Astarion ordered, patting her leg. Agnes lifted her hips as Halsin’s tongue pushed its way into her mouth. Their tongues danced as Astarion pulled down Agnes’ trousers and small clothes, gently lifting her legs as he removed the clothing. Astarion’s cold fingers ghosted up her legs onto her thighs, kneading into the soft flesh. “I can see how wet you are already, pet,” Astarion purred, pushing her knees to spread her legs for him. Agnes pulled away from Halsin to look at Astarion lying between her legs, his hands trailing her thighs. He shot her a devilish grin before dipping his head to press soft kisses between her thighs. Agnes threw her head back onto the pillow behind her, wiggling under Astarion as he gently trailed his lips closer to her core. “Look at me, my heart,” Halsin purred, pulling her face towards him. She looked over to him, a whine escaping her lips as Astarion licked a stripe up her thigh. Agnes watched Halsin pump his cock as, a groan escaping his lips. “Use your words, love. What do you need,” Halsin said breathily, looking down at Agnes. “I need to taste you,” Agnes whimpered, bringing her hand up to Halsin’s length and swiping her thumb across the tip. Halsin groaned as he kneeled on the bed, bringing his cock closer to Agnes.

“Yes, my love, I want to see you take all of him,” Astarion said as he trailed his fangs along Agnes’ thigh. Just as Agnes was pulling Halsin’s cock into her mouth, Astarion plunged his fangs into her thigh, a loud sigh escaping him as he felt her blood flood into his mouth. Agnes moaned around Halsin’s length, her tongue swirling around his head. Halsin threw his head back, a hand coming up to grab her braid. Astarion dragged his fingers through Agnes’ folds as he continued to feed, groaning at how wet she was. He pulled his mouth away from Agnes’ thigh, the rush he got from her blood leaving him a bit light headed. He lapped at the new wound, licking up beads of blood as they dripped out. Halsin used Agnes’ braid to bob her head up and down his cock as Astarion teased her entrance with his icy fingers. She moaned loudly as Astarion pushed two fingers inside her, curling them upward. “Gods you sound so beautiful,” Astarion groaned, kissing the inside of her thigh as he pumped his fingers in and out of her cunt. Halsin pulled back on her braid, her mouth coming off of his cock with a pop. “Does that feel good, little thief?” He asked, leaning down to kiss her. “Yes,” she breathed as Halsin captured her lips with his. Astarion leaned forward, dragging his tongue along her clit as he fucked her with his fingers. He began drawing lazy circles with his tongue, slowly pulling his fingers out of her.

Agnes moaned into Halsin’s mouth, her back arching up off of the bed as she ground her cunt against Astarion’s face. Halsin pulled back from her to watch Astarion lavish her pussy, his hand pumping his cock once more. “Astarion you look positively divine devouring her like that,” he breathed, spitting in his hand to lubricate his length. “Oh, Astarion,” Agnes whined, her hands tangling in his hair. She could feel her climax building as Astarion lapped at her with reckless abandon. Agnes pulled on his hair, bringing his face up to hers. His eyes were wild, blown wide with lust as he breathed heavily. “I need you inside me. I want to come on your cock,” she growled, wrapping her legs around his waist and pulling him closer. Astarion was too far gone to make her wait any longer, dragging his cock along her folds to wet his length. He nudged his head at her entrance, groaning at the feeling of her. As he pushed himself inside, he grabbed Halsin by the hair and pulled him in to a kiss as he began pumping his cock into Agnes. “Oh, gods below,” Agnes moaned, the feeling of Astarion pumping inside her and the image of the two elves devouring one another in front of her nearly pushing her over the edge already. Agnes wrapped her fingers around Halsin’s length, stroking him to match Astarion’s pace.

Astarion pulled back from Halsin, bringing Agnes’ leg up to rest on his shoulder so he could get a better angle. He leaned forward, a hand gripping the headboard behind Agnes as he resumed a bruising pace. “Fuck you’re so… gods,” Astarion was close, Agnes could tell by the sheer nonsense spilling out of his mouth. “Come for me, Astarion,” Agnes whined, continuing to stroke Halsin’s cock with one hand, the other gripping Astarion’s curls. Agnes could feel her own climax building, the new angle punching the air from her lungs. “By the Oak Father, the two of you look so… ah,” Halsin groaned, rutting into Agnes’ hand as he watched Astarion fuck her, gripping the headboard with one hand. Agnes pulled Astarion closer by his curls. “Come for me, please,” she begged against his lips, feeling his pace grow more erratic. Astarion pressed his forehead to hers as he came with a grunt, spilling inside her. Feeling him come brought Agnes over the edge, a wave of pleasure overcoming her body. Halsin wasn’t far behind the other two, spilling into his own hand at the sight of his lovers tangled in one another.

Astarion curled up next to Agnes, his forehead pressed to hers. Halsin joined the two on the bed, embracing Agnes from behind and pressing kisses to the back of her neck. “I’m going to be exhausted tomorrow,” Agnes chuckled, nuzzling Astarion’s nose with hers. “Gale will be pissed,” Astarion added, stroking Agnes’ cheek. “Oh he’ll be fine,” she said, lacing her fingers with Halsin’s. “Would you like to take a bath, my heart?” Halsin asked against her neck, continuing to lay kisses to her soft skin. “Mm that sounds nice,” she hummed. Halsin squeezed her hand before getting up from the bed. “I’ll run it for you,” the druid said with a smile, heading towards the bathroom. Astarion pulled Agnes into his arms, burying his head in her neck. “Are you alright, Star?” Agnes asked, holding Astarion tight. “So good,” he murmured, nuzzling his head in the crook of her neck. She smiled, draping a leg over his waist. Astarion pulled back to look at Agnes, his expression soft. “I love you,” he said with a smile. Agnes pulled him close to her chest, hugging him as tightly as possible. “I love you, too” she whispered.

[inkymoonbunny]

Into the goblin camp...

Read on A03

“Not only do you speak with a bear but you free it too, a true friend of nature, or perhaps a lunatic. Either way I owe thanks. I am the druid Halsin.” His eyes traveled below Rosary’s face, taking in the bite marks still healing on her neck. Astarion could see the druid’s eyes widen just slightly, his tongue darting out to moisten his lips and Astarion was glad he had left his teeth marks so prominently across her bosom as well. 

“She’s my tasty lunatic,” Astarion slipped his arm around Rosary’s waist, drawing her against his chest and a bit further from Halsin. He rested his head on Rosary’s shoulder as he looked up too to meet Halsin’s eyes. Astarion smiled, letting his fangs peak past his lips. Halsin seemed nonplussed by the display, giving the vampire a sincere smile in return which only served to annoy Astarion further. 

[judasiskariot]

Remembered to put it on AO3

Kissing every one of your ridges – With horns and tail and everything

➹pairing: Astarion x F!Tiefling DarkUrge Tav (Bard Saulus by myself @judasiskariot)

"Let me kiss every single one of your ridges"

➹summary: Tav only reacts totally supportive and respectfully after Astarion’s "But this...this is nice" confession at Act II. But it also hurts her inside to hear that he just tricked her out of bad habit and not meant it true, when she already did. That lurks in her head and she start to delusional thinking, that he also does not want to touch her, because he secretly dislikes her Tiefling body and she begins to hate it…

➹content/tags/warning: angst, self harm, self hatred, body image problems, fluff, romance, lime/spice, body positivity

➹word count: 3,737

➹pictures: all of course by the talented @aristenfromwarsaw ; highly recommend her blog

➹a/n: I am not going to say it is the fault of @aristenfromwarsaw again, but it is her fault 😆🤣😜🤗

Her wonderful romantic screenshot of Astarion&Saulus inspired the ideas in my head to this story

Title credit also goes to her, because it was her reaction when telling her my story idea and yeah 😭❤️😭❤️😭 *ugly sobbing*

“I don’t know how else to be with someone. No matter how much I’d like to.” " You are worth a great deal to me, no matter what you're going through. I care about you. Deeply" "This…this is nice!”

The conversation was not many days ago. Astarion revealed his true feelings towards the Bard, or maybe some lies about his behavior, but to reveal true feelings at the end. Feelings he seemed to get caught by surprised. He catched them like a cold, at least he sounded while his confession.

But Saulus understood his message. His words did not really matter to convince her, alone the true sound of his voice was enough for her to understand. He never had spoken to her like that before.

Astarion wanted them to be something real and Saulus wanted to give him time, space and respect for his body. Taking the steps back, they made to fast in the first place. She liked Astarion, not his figure or their nightly trysts.

„Is it really okay with you that we kiss?”, asked the Tiefling concerned after parting her lips from Astarion’s.

“I said that I want to take things slow and abstain from Sex, not that we are strangers to each other from now on”, clarified the elf.

He pulled her down on the sleeping roll in his tent.

“I am not made of porcelain, even when I am looking so beautiful like that”, he purred and kissed her again.

Their bodies lay cautiously together and the bard let herself in for a kiss again.

Her arms held Astarion tight while her lips explored his ever more firmly.

The vampire became a little heavier on her, she felt his body weighing on hers.

In a pleasant way.

She heard his breathing and her own sighs between kisses.

His hand lay at the skin of her side, dancing up to her rib cage like a wisp of the wind. Her skin tingled when feeling his own.

The hint of a touch of his fingers at the base of her breasts under the light sleeping fabric.

She wanted to feel Astarion, so much to feel his touch. His hands on her breasts. His firm grip.

Her skin burned under his fingers, burned like the fires of Avernus that could only be extinguished if their bodies were united. How much she longed to feel him inside her. But...no, they didn't want that. That was exactly what they didn't want anymore. And it was good that way. But his lips and his hands on her breasts made her body think further. Her body that knew his and longed for it.

Saulus groaned and her hands automatically pulled Astarion closer to her. He paused briefly and then it hit her that they might be going too far.

She had no control over her lust, was going to overstep…no it seemed she already did. They agreed that Sex did not matter, and yet she enjoyed his closeness too much. In the wrong way.

Frightened, she pushed him away.

"Stop!"

"What is it?", asked Astarion irritated.

"We should cease that.”

"What exactly? We're just kissing."

"Yes. Let's call it a night.”

Astarion and the bard separated. They sat down on their knees facing each other. The Tiefling gently took his hands in hers and smiled slightly at him before Astarion leaned back a little and looked at her expectantly. She slowly pushed his hands back and placed them on his knees.

“It's getting too stifling and hot for me in this tent...I....should go.” Saulus downright jumped on her feet “I need to go."

Who even initiated the kiss? Him or her? It was Saulus herself, right? He didn’t really want to kiss her actually, screamed her inner panicking voice in her head.

She messed up.

She told him she would wait patiently whenever he was ready to have a physical relationship with her again, and she messed up.

Like the little obedient Sceleritas Fel said she would. Not in a funny bloody way the butler seemed to enjoy so much, but the in the way to destroy everything that has a meaning to her, when touched by her hands.

Saulus went to the waterside.

Dark, cold water.

Dark and cold like the frowning glance upon her unknown soul.

She slipped out of her clothes and went into the water.

She shivered only a little bit.

The ice cold sparks of the drops felt good on her heated skin.

The blank surface mirrored her reflection perfectly back with the shimmer of the moon casted by the silvery maiden of the night.

Saulus looked at her silhouette.

Her body.

Her face.

Sharp teeth, devilish tail, ridges under skin, pikes upon her shoulders, demonic horns and long claws of a monster, that torn apart the sweet Tiefling bard Alfira. Dripping from her blood.

Nobody mourned her. Nobody blamed her for her death.

Only Gale was a bit scared afterwards.

Yes, she was a monstrous demon. Straight from the hells.

Tears walled up the blue eyes with the burning sparks of Avernus in it and Saulus punched frustrated and full of hate into the water. Punching her reflection, so that she did not have to watch her devilish countenance of a monster no longer.

No wonder Astarion did not like her from the start, only slept with her that she was on his side, saw him of use that her killer rages were to his favor, not against him. No wonder he was scared of her.

No wonder he did not want to touch her no longer.

Saulus would not want to touch her either, if she were in his place.

Why would he?

He might be a ravenous vampire, but still a high elf with full of grace. Head high, perfect posture, fine lips and nose and chaw line.

And she - slowly her silhouette manifested on the water surface again and Saulus looked upon her deep dusk purple appearance…she was just a demon from the hells.

A monster with a little doomed butler that was whispering urges into her ear and soul, that made her hand twitch in desire to kill the sweet moon cleric.

She would also not touch this foul, wretched body full of pikes of a devil.

Not when there were sweet elven maiden with light skin, pink shiny nibbles and long silver hair to touch and kiss.

The other night, Saulus already wished Astarion a good night and made her camp round to bid her “Sleep wells” to everyone.

“And ducks…I like ducks”, said Halsin.

Saulus chuckled.

Astarion’s ruby eyes had left the words from his book a long time ago. At least once the bard started talking to the druid in such a familiar way.

Only his face directed towards the book, to make the appearance of reading. His elven ears were literally all ears for the conversation of the Tiefling and the beary archdruid. Big dumb mountain of muscles, flinched through Astarion’s head.

He glanced side-eyes like a grumpy cat…ready to jump and claw.

“That is incredible cute“, she said her thoughts out loud. “And I pull myself together not to say: Unbearable cute as honey.“

„Oh, I bear you to say that”, Halsin winked and the bard nudged his shoulder while both laughed.

“It is nice to hear some laughter in this shadow curse troubled lands. But I would be happier when the curse is lifted for good. Once and for all”, sighed the druid.

“We are working on it. I hope too that it takes not much longer, Halsin.”

“Thank you. Thank you for everything. Rest now and restore your strength for the tasks of tomorrow.”

“You too, Halsin.”

“Look, I had a plan. A nice, simple plan - seduce you, sleep with you, manipulate your feelings so you'd never turn on me. All you had to do was fall for it. And all I had to do was not fall for you...which is where my nice, simple plan fell apart” "So the nights we spent together didn't mean anything?"

The words of Astarion echoed through her head.

Now when her body wanted to lay down to rest, her head could not stop to speak to her.

When talking to Astarion after her approached at her, all she could think about was to make clear to him, that he mattered to her. Mattered to her in every way. As a person, as a friend…and yes, more as friend. But it would never inflict how she would think about him, help him, protect him.

She wanted him to know that he is valued for just being, not for his body or something he could be use of. She made clear that he is free whatever he wanted to do so. Of course, when this included being with her, would make her most happy, but she would have understood if he wanted more distance, time to think and think for himself and his true needs and desires.

At least Saulus did not the hell know who she really was. The urgings in her head were sometimes…strange.

Bloody…

Having the talk with Astarion seemed to connect them, brought them closer. But lying awake at night, it just made her…sad by now.

All his sweet words and intimacy were just an act for him. He was an actor, playing the only role he knew. Slept with her ‘cause he thought he needed to. The only way to thank her for her blood because he didn’t think he has something else to give. Tricking her into liking him, while only than she would have protected him, as she would only protect lovers and not also friends.

As if they could not be friends without him giving his body and take care of hers.

All this while she wanted to get closer to him, because she started to like him. Fell like a dumb baby bird out of its nest.

She liked him not for his looks, but his snappy words. Giggling like a dumb fool at his mean sarcastic comments. Liking the theatric pronouncing of his words, worth of a bard.

Yes, she wanted to be near to him, only him and the true one, not the façade he put up. But…she only knew the façade, so it seemed. How could she claim to like the “real” Astarion, when he showed him to her only once.

He lied to her, tricked her, fooled her.

Or could she believe that all of this was just a glance and he catched the feelings right away and did his actings still out of behavior? 

She remembered her reflection in the water.  Horns and tail like a devil.

Why would he pick someone like this over others?

“It was easy - instinctive. Habits from two hundred years of charming people kicked in.” "So the nights we spent together didn't mean anything?" "Be true to yourself, my Lady.”

The blood-stained words of the mysterious butler and her own mixed themselves up in her head. Swirling, screaming. Red…dripping red with a murderous frequency of volume.

Saulus grabbed the sharpest dagger at the camp. Determined.

Her feet led her the way besides the Last Light Inn down to the waterside.

Quick, unseen, quiet.

She went again to the waters.

Pulled her blouse over her head and exposed her dusk violet skin to the moonlight, reflecting on the water.

But Saulus no longer looked at her reflection. She only was near the water, so the blood may drip in there and being washed away with no evidence.

No evidence…like killing the bard, my foul lady, again the voice of Sceleritas Fel echoed through her mind full of holes.

Saulus fell for Astarion. She fell so hard, that it almost hurt, she realized by now. Maybe not the tadpoles or the dark urge or the shadows of this lands were her curse, no – maybe it was rather Astarion.

She knew she liked him, really, deeply. But only by now she realized what that really meant. It was maybe a bit scary. Or at least this dark shadow in her swirly head, told her so. Told her not to be worth of loving, or making her kill a whole city for him, if she must. Dangerous thoughts, Saulus knew that they did not belong to her. That were not her thoughts…where did they come from?

She felt light, joyful, sincere, happy, loving the love. That was her. But this things in her mind – in her heart – what kind of curse of those four possessed her, to whisper such things in the Tieflings unconscious?

She bit her sharp teeth together to shake off the voice inside her.

The Tiefling needed to focus on her task.

The bard reached with the knife to her back.

The blood should drop into the water and been washed away, away into the hells she must came from.

Saulus no longer wanted to see the horrific ridges upon her skin. She hated the damn pikes of demonic wings over her shoulder blades. Taken away the wonderful white, smooth elegant skin of a elven maiden, that Astarion could really like, desire…love at the end even.

With sadness, rage and desperate determination Saulus tried to manage to reach her back properly. Began to reach the ridges of the wings upon her shoulders with the sharp shiny blade. Breathing in frustration.

“What in the sweet hells do you think you are doing there?!”, snapped Astarions angry voice suddenly from behind and sounded reproachful and chiding.

He caught her by surprise and Saulus flinched.

At that very moment she felt him snatch the knife from her hands.

„I…I…“, she stuttered, covering her naked breasts in shame, did not know how to explain to him what she was doing.

Astarion looked concerned with his ruby eyes upon the skin of her back, made a step forward and his cold hands breath a hint of touch upon her skin.

Caring and careful.

“You got deep cuts”, he whispered softly, tenderly, concerned. More to himself than to her.

“Let’s go to Shadowheart!”, he said with loud, firm and convinced voice. “Our religious troubled cleric shall heal these cuts.”

“No!”, snapped Saulus quickly and almost panicked back “Not Shadowheart. It is not her duty to heal this.”

“I think a healing potion will not help immediately against the bleedings of the wounds”, explained Astarion to make her clear the cleric was the obvious logic choice. “Or do you prefer your druid to help you”, he muttered darkly with a nitpicky undertone.

“What did you say?”

“Nothing!”, Astarion shocked his head and expelled his own thoughts, seeing they were toxic dumb and made up in his head, “I said nothing.”

“How did you get injured?”, asked the pale elf with an empathetic undertone, that she had rarely heard from him before. Astarion was surprised by himself.

But he cared. Cared for her. He glanced at the knife in his hands, he took from her. “Considering that, you hurt yourself. Why? What did you want to accomplish with that?”

His ruby ​​eyes sparkled at the Tiefling woman with a raised eyebrow. The look of his sharp eyes made Saulus nervous.

“I…”, began Saulus again stuttering.

 “I wanted to cut off this ugly ridges and attachment of wings away from my damn shoulders”, she shouted angrily in desperation. Her face a manifest of loathing, hatred, disgust against her own body.

Astarion's face darkened visibly at her words.

„What? Are you dumb? Why would you do that?” All the softness was erased from his tone and words. His face full of anger and misunderstanding.

“Look at me! I am ugly! I am a monster!”, she pointed at her body. “With this stupid tail and horns. Kagha called me a devil, everyone does…and they are right to do that. That is all I am: A demon doomed by the gods. Straight out of the hells where I should rot with my wretched body. This body nobody wants to touch and love.”

Astarion grabbed her hand pulled her roughly towards him “Don’t you ever say that again!”, he hissed, flashing angrily with his eyes.

“But…”

“Nothing but, my silly dumb devil girl”, he purred. Astarion closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Come…”, he took her by the hand to the water, „…let’s wash this blood off your body.“

Her feet could already feel the sparks of the water.

The elf kneeled down in front of her, he pulled her leather trousers down her legs. The same way followed gently her undergarment.

With almost bated breath, Saulus looked at Astarion's white curls and watched him undress her.

Astarion gave her a quick wave and she stepped out of her pants without saying a word.

After that, his skillful hands undressed him himself.

Saulus watched as the white fabric of his shirt revealed the skin of his muscular chest, which shimmered palely in the moonlight. With slightly flushed cheeks, she looked away to stop staring at him.

It was ridiculous considering that they had slept together several times. But the situation had changed and the Tiefling wanted to be respectful. To give him space and maintain boundaries.

After they were both completely naked, Astarion took her hand again and waded into the water with her.

A shiver ran through her body briefly, which was noticeable on her skin and chest. But only briefly. Because even though the water and Astarion's hand were cold, his presence was still warm.

He carefully turned her around by her shoulder so that her back was to him.

After that, Astarion began to carefully clean the cuts. With a fine white handkerchief soaked in water that he had previously taken out of his trouser pocket, he gently stroked her skin to wash the blood off it.

He didn't say a word.

He was simply gentle and caring.

His hands skillful and loving.

He was just there.

The touch of a tingling sensation felt on both of their skin as they stood in the dark water of the night. Like the touch of angels' kisses: It began to drizzle gently.

The smell of rain slowly rose to their noses.

After nothing was visible on her body except for the cuts, she had made with the dagger in a stupid attempt to cut off her wing attachment ridges, Astarion carefully turned her over. The gentle spray slowly turned into drops of rain.

He probably didn't have to try so hard. The rain would have washed everything away.

It always did, right?

Could the rain wash you clean?

Astarion looked deep into her eyes. Could still see the struggles. The uncertainty.

He put a hand on her cheek, gently stroking it before he leaned over and kissed Saulus tenderly.

His other hand gradually came to rest on her hip and pulled her closer to him.

Despite the rain and her wet hair and the raindrops dripping from her horns, her body was warm.

Warm in the dark, foggy night that was slowly turning into the day. Yes, the night was always darkest before the fog gave way to the red of the morning. They would break the shadow curse as the druid had so urgently requested and longed for and then the sun would rise here again. But first Astarion had to break the shadow over his beloved.

His cold vampire hand stroked behind her head, roughly tangled in her wet hair and pulled it tighter against his kiss. At first they had only gently put their lips together, but now their lips had begun to suck each other deeply, to caress each other. Astarion's tongue skillfully stroked her lower lip while his other hand pulled her closer to him. Her lower body pressed against his, gently and lovingly, not arousingly. The vampire felt Saulus' breasts gently pressing against his own chest, which was getting wetter and wetter because of the night rain.

Astarion felt the rain. But above all he felt her.

His beloved.

His trouble-ridden lover.

She was so comforting warm and Astarion hoped inwardly that his own cold, undead vampire body did not feel too cold for his loved one.

Yes, he wanted to have her, he really wanted to try to have a relationship. Before he lost the chance with her. Lost her to someone else, or to herself. To her darkness.

She gave him something to worry about and care for. He was not indifferent to her like he was to everything else that did not concern him. And her love for others showed him that he was not indifferent to them either. Shadowheart, Gale, Wyll, Lae'zel, Minthara, Karlach and all the others. (Halsin maybe a little)

Slowly their lips separated and Astarion's hand came back to her cheek. His forehead rested on hers.

He felt their wet hair touching. Felt the tickling raindrops dancing on their skin.

"I never want to hear you talk badly about yourself again. Never think that again. You are wonderful."

"Really?" the Tiefling asked carefully and her eyes opened and tried to look into his eyes as best she could.

"Of course. You are beautiful. And I'm not just saying that," Astarion assured her in all seriousness. "I know," he sighed, "you find it hard to believe me after I deceived you at the beginning, right? But believe me, I'm serious. And that has nothing to do with the fact that I really think you're beautiful. And despite the inexplicable, mysterious darkness in you, I think you're a kind, wonderful person."

He smiled at her briefly before his face slipped into the mischievous elf face that everyone knew him to be.

"So despite the bloody start, the evening was actually quite nice and interesting."

"Astarion..." said Saulus and gave him a tormented smile, "...can you at least be serious for once and stop making jokes? If that doesn't work, it's better not to say anything at all."

"Sush..." the elf hissed playfully and led the bard out of the water.

"Come...", he said soft and true again, so true he wanted to be from now on forever to her, "I want you to sleep in my arms. Resting with me. With horns and tail and everything."

Astarion smiled at her “And then let me kiss every single one of your ridges.”

Original Picture Posts by @aristenfromwarsaw

➹a/n: This turned out way angstier than I wanted it to be 😰

 I never had enormous tragic backgroundstory with huge lore in it like so many others. Only funny quirks maybe. At home we came up with the fun idea, that Astarion started to test whether tiefling tails are erogenous, when he got bored during negotiations with Gortash. Since then it has been a running gag that he secretly does things with her tail in public. I asked if he then tries to find out what he can do with her horns when she is sleeping until she wakes up, until it becomes a game and someone dips her tail in jam.

And then she holds her in jam covered tail tight to her with tears in her eyes.

"NO! Astarion would never ever do such things. If anything, stupid children or Akabi would do it and he would comfort her afterwards."

This is how the idea came up, that when Saulus is nervous she generally holds her tail tight like children hold a security blanket.

"What could she be nervous about?"

"Maybe her wedding day..."

And from this came the fact that she is insecure about her whole tiefling body. Maybe to help others with similar thoughts.

Especially when being with someone so natural beautiful as Astarion with his elven looks.

She wondered why Bhaal would create someone looking like that, when he had the choice of all this beautiful creatures out there in Faerûn. Given the option, he still choose this appearance for his Chosen, his daughter, his own blood. His own spawn.

It could only be to scare people, to show them horror and fear, before sweet death.

So she always tried to hide herself.

But Astarion helped her accept, to love her body and to understand that there is so much beauty out there. In every form and so many different forms out there in Faerûn. Finally she was able to see herself through the eyes of others, how they saw her, how she really looked.

Bhaal may had shaped her, but it is her, that defines herself. Worth of love.

She is big, brave and beautiful!

And I hope this helps everyone with body image problems out there ❤️❤️

I was so inspired and emotionally touched by seeing my beloved blorbos as surprise screenshot, that, for a change, I just started writing my idea straight away.

I have so many BG3 fanfic ideas, why don't I write them? Because I suck at writing fanfiction in english and I really should finish my Resident Evil longfic. And I end up procrastinating not to do either 😅🙈

[aerynwrites]

Baldur’s Gate 3 Masterlist

Halsin

Longing || part 2 - NSFW. Reader has been pining after Halsin for a while now but has hesitated to make a move due to her inexperience, little does she know - a certain Druid might just feel the same and is more than willing to show her.

Remember - A drunken night leads to confessions and Halsin still being a gentleman.

Not alone - Reader is feeling overwhelmed with the responsibilities of being the defacto leader. Halsin tries to show them they don’t have to bear the weight alone. (Requested)

Scars - Reader hates the scars they bare, but Halsin shows them that there is nothing to be ashamed of.

Lover’s Embrace - NSFW. An alchemical mishap puts reader in a situation she’s not expecting, and as usual, Halsin is there to help. aka - reader accidentally creates an aphrodisiac potion and Halsin helps her through the after effects.

Dance The Night Away - Tav/reader gets a chance to finally show off a dress she acquired some time ago, something Halsin greatly appreciates as they dance.

Cherished - NSFW! A/B/O fic with omega!fem!reader. Reader has been on supressants for years only to be faced with the ordeal of an unexpected and intense heat when she loses her supply. Halsin is there to help.

Loss - reader mourns the loss of a beloved pet. Halsin is there to comfort them. (Based on a request)

Losing You - You get injured in battle and Halsin finally feels a fear he hasn’t felt in quite some time, a confession he makes to you as he nurses you back to health.

Reciprocation - NSFW! Reader notices that Halsin is usually the one to give during intimacy, this time, reader decides to return the favor.

Mistaken Identity - the reader meets a bear in the woods, unbeknownst to her this bear is the same Druid she has a crush on.

Desire - based on a request for breeding kink with Halsin

Whittle Mistakes - Reader injures themself while Halsin teaches them to Whittle.

Peaceful Moments - Reader and Halsin spend a quiet moment together.

It's About The Chase - NSFW! In a ritual to bring them closer, Halsin chases reader through the woods. I think we can all guess what happens when he catches her.

Send Me an Angel (Halsin x Fem!angle!Reader)

After witnessing an angel fall from the sky, Halsin takes it upon himself to nurse her back to health. But as the days go by, the shadow curse still prevails, and he starts to find out there’s more than meets the eye with his new Angel companion.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |

Gale Dekarios

Late Nights - Gale has slipped away from you in the middle of the night - again - so, it’s your duty to bring him back to your side.

Unexpected, but Not Unwelcome - Reader announces she’s pregnant to Gale, he reacts in the best way possible.

Perks of The City - NSFW! Gale and Reader take part in all the city has to offer. Aka: they fuck in a bathhouse

Make it Right - Durge!Reader is struggling with finding out their past and their part in the absolute plot, their companions turning away from them. They decide to do go after Orin to make it right.

Masquerade of Liars - Gale and Reader take their son out to celebrate a traditional Waterdeep holiday (aka the forgotten realms version of Halloween!)

Worthy - reader/tav feels like they aren’t worthy of Gale. He’s quick to tell them otherwise.

Lost for Words - reader tried on the Wavemother Robe and shows off the new item to Gale who, well…he’s lost for words.

Dreams Become Reality - NSFW! reader has a rather…debauched dream and wakes Gale up. Good thing he’s curious and willing to satiate your fantasies.

Astarion x Halsin

Worries and Doubts - On a quiet afternoon in the forest, Astarion starts to have doubts about the future. Halsin is there to comfort him.

Love Lost - Halsin was unable to sway Astarion from ascending and now…Now he’s left to try and reconcile his love for the man he knew and the vampire lord before him now.

Dammon

Emeralds - You’ve been pinning after Dammon for quite some time now, little do you know the blacksmith feels the same way.

Fear of Losing You - (part 2 of emeralds) Reader stumbles upon the tiefling massacre in the shadow cursed lands and assumes the worst.

Bound by The Heart (and other things) - you stumble upon one of Dammon’s more…lewd books, and find out something he’s wanted to try. You eagerly volunteer.

Rolan

Freckles - you spend the morning admiring Rolan as he sleeps.

Headcanons

Halsin and Gale with Reader who tries pheromone perfume

Love languages with Gale and Dammon (SFW and NSFW)

Physical Touch and Gift Giving w/ Gale, Halsin and Dammon

Halsin as a New Dad

Dammon with a plus size S/O

Halsin and Reader Post Game

[moonselune]

ִ ࣪𖤐⋆.˚ Astarion ࣪ 𖤐⋆.˚ :

Drabbles:

⟢Astarion x M!Durge⟢

⟢ Scars ⟢

⟢Animal Friends⟢

⟢Injured⟢

⟢Astarion x f!reader x Gale ⟢

⟢Astarion x Werewolf! gf⟢

⟢Pampering⟢

⟢Shapeshifter !⟢

⟢Nobody understands ⟢

⟢Toe to Toe⟢

⟢Beach⟢

⟢Sleep, my darling⟢

⟢Insecurities⟢

⟢How kind of you.. (Durge)⟢

⟢Surprise Kiss!⟢

⟢Can't sleep?⟢

⟢You must be joking⟢

⟢Kidnapped by Orin⟢

⟢Jealousy⟢

⟢No more revivify for you⟢

⟢Fucking nerd⟢

⟢Scratch me up!⟢

⟢I'm pregnant⟢

⟢Me? Jealous?⟢

⟢Clingy⟢

⟢As an uncle/father⟢

⟢Got you!⟢

⟢Platonic Astarion x Aasimar!reader⟢

⟢What she did to you⟢

⟢All too much⟢

⟢Inexperienced⟢

⟢Aloof⟢

⟢Not on my watch⟢

⟢Fluffy Incidents⟢

⟢Sewn⟢

⟢Lady Drow⟢

⟢Happy Surprise⟢

⟢Burns⟢

⟢Menzoberranzen⟢

⟢Silly Sacrifice⟢

⟢Meltdown⟢

⟢Questions⟢

⟢Revived⟢

⟢Durge | Purpose⟢

⟢Lean on me⟢

⟢Favourite kisses⟢

⟢Ersatz eye⟢

⟢Stuttering (NSFW)⟢

⟢Life left behind⟢

⟢The Right Word⟢

⟢I'm Father?⟢

⟢Not Smart Enough⟢

⟢Opened mind⟢

⟢Turn ons⟢

⟢Crown of Karsus (Male!Reader)⟢

⟢Your kid's father makes an appearance⟢

⟢Incubus Interference⟢

⟢Adopted by The In-laws ⟢

⟢Power of Friendship⟢

⟢Shaky Hands⟢

⟢Scales (Draconic Sorceror)⟢

⟢Clean up (M!Durge)⟢

⟢Marks of Tragedy⟢

⟢Red-eyed friend⟢

⟢The Greatest Beast⟢

⟢Domestic Bliss x3⟢

⟢A Poetic Attempt⟢

⟢Big Tatas⟢

⟢The Most Beautiful Mannequin⟢

⟢Family Life (Stepchild series)⟢

⟢Thinking the BG3 Men are Cheating on You⟢

⟢Baby Names⟢

⟢Surface Men⟢

⟢Overheard (Halstarion x Reader)⟢

⟢Massage⟢

⟢Poly-cute (Halsin/Astarion/Wyll)⟢

⟢Astral-Touched Tadpole⟢

⟢Changes (Plus!Tav)⟢

⟢Revulsion⟢

⟢First Few Moments⟢

⟢Halloween⟢

✦. ── Dark BG3 Masterlist ── .✦

[ym523]

In progress ⌛

If anyone is curious, this is what I am working through at the moment:

Halstarion (Halsin x Astarion) - 21.9% ✅🔞

Bloodweave (Astarion x Gale) - 20.9% ✅

Oakbloodweave - 18.7% ✅🔞

Tav/Durge x Origin Character (F/M with any origin character) - 6.5% ✅

Raphstarion (Raphael x Astarion) - 5.6% (tie)🩸

Wyllstarion (Wyll x Astarion) - 5.6% (tie) ✅

Shadowstar (Shadowheart x Astarion) - 3.6% ✅

Shadowzel (Shadowheart x Lae'zel) - 3.8%

Gortstarion (Gortash x Astarion) - 2.8%

Hellspawn (Karlach x Astarion) - 5.4%

Wyllach (Wyll x Karlach) - 3.3%

Shadowlach (Shadowheart x Karlach) - 1.9%

Based on this poll - I update this as I do them.

[pursuitseternal]

🩸✨Smut Asks ✨🩸

To celebrate over 1500 followers, I’m opening up my inbox just for you all. Fill up my Ask Box with your dirty little desires. Anon asks are fine. Pick a prompt number and a pairing, and I will do my best to oblige:

Pairings: (specific Ascended or Spawn)

✨Astarion x f!Tav/Durge ✨ Astarion x Reader ✨ Astarion x Shadowheart ✨ Astarion x Halsin ✨ Astarion x Raphael 😈Raphael x reader 💍 Sauron x Galadrield 💍 Sauron x Reader 🩸Vampire x reader 🐺 Werewolf x reader

Prompts:

1. “Save the begging for when I’m balls deep inside you…”

2. “Do your worst”

3 “I want to please you.”

4. “Oh, I love that sound you make.”

5. “If we weren’t in public right now…”

6. “I told you, you would eventually start begging.”

7. "Can you feel how much I want you?"

8. "I want to ruin you."

9. "We don't even have to take our clothes off."

10. "Make me shut up then."

11. "I will give that mouth something to do."

12. "Your moans are my favourite sound."

13. “No more, please, I can’t”

14. “Where are your manners?”

15. “If you stop, I’ll stop”

16. “Turn around.”

17. “You look so pretty on your knees.”

18. “Can you tell me what you did wrong?”

19. “You’re all mine” - “hm…” - “say it” - “I’m all yours.”

20. “Use my thigh.”

[baldurs-writers-3]

Astarion: A Baldur's Gate 3 Fanfic Rec List

This week, we have Astarion Centric fics! Check under the cut for a whopping seventeen fics all about our favorite vampire spawn, and as always, give them a comment and kudos if you like them!

The stars began to burn by peregrinefeathers (87k, Mature) Warnings: None Pairings: Astarion/Gale

An AU where instead of having an orb lodged in his chest Gale got stuck in a book. Then when a vampire spawn opened that book he got stuck in that vampire spawn's head. This is the best thing that has ever happened to Astarion; within 15 minutes he's running out of the Szarr palace into the sunlight. Then adventures begin!

Reccer says: a slow burn, like bloodweave is obvious endgame but it takes a while to get there, and Astarion is written /so/ well

Uncrossed Lines by Asidian (1209, Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Astarion & Wyll, Astarion & Halsin, Astarion & Karlach

Friends don't let friends get hurt and/or pressured into doing things they don't want to do

Reccer says: Just an incredibly sweet depiction of people recognizing Astarion's boundaries and helping to enforce them, whether he's expecting them to or not. I love it

Hydnellum Peckii by OctolingO (4403, General) Warnings: talks of Astarion's past but no gruesome details Pairings: none

Astarion is doing a great job hiding what he is from the party, until they reach the Underdark and he has nothing to feed on.

Reccer says: this is so angsty! i loved Gale being too curious for his own good and trying to help and be supportive, and all of Astarion's fears of getting kicked out or killed, bc nobody could ever be in his corner, and having anyone in a position of power apologizing *to him* like that's so foreign - this gave me so many feels!

caught between the dark and the dreaming by Raayide (18925, Teen) Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Pairings: Astarion & Friends

Marcus wants answers, and no one is going to give them to him, unless he forces them to. Astarion is the unlucky target forced to drink a truth serum.

Reccer says: Absolutely delicious whump and found family comfort afterwards

of death potential and death absolute by Raayide (39119, Teen) Warnings: Derealization Pairings: Astarion & Gale, pre-relationship

Astarion is never quite sure, until the moment Cazador lies dead before him, whether this entire adventure is anything more than an extremely vivid hallucination.

Reccer says: this story takes Astarion and twists him up into a little heartbreaking ball of a premise that makes him think everything is just a dream, and how desperate he is to stay in the dream rather than waking up. it retells most of the game with a tight focus and some lovely lovely characters scenes, everyone gets a moment in the spotlight!

Those left behind by Gally (73949, Mature) Warnings: None Pairings: Past Astarion/Karlach

What's Astarion to do after the Absolute is destroyed and the love of his life is now dead?

Reccer says: Lots of funny. Lots of sad. Lots of excellent characterization and slow but steady healing

All it Cost Me by HydieMurderBabe (38529, Explicit) Warnings: Ite explicit, very raunchy and Durge elements of rougher kinds Pairings: Durge X Astarion

Two traumatized nubbins heal from their pasts. Lots of sex and violence ensues.

Reccer says: Its funny, its raunchy, its detailed and most of all I feel like Im invested in the pairing

Collision Course by VakarianSyndrome (123444, Explicit) Warnings: No warnings. Tropes: Modern Girl in Baldur's Gate, found family Pairings: Astarion/F!OC

Set in Baldur’s Gate, this series follows Adelaide, a human woman from Earth, and her somewhat clumsy attempts at navigating this new and fantastical realm. In the process, she falls for Astarion, the pale elf, vampire spawn with level 100 rizz.

Reccer says: It starts out really funny, but then gradually gets serious where needed. The buildup between Astarion and the OC is spicy and sweet, and the smut delivers! And it's completed!

No Good End in View by not_whelmed_yet (60,797, ongoing, Mature) Warnings: Character death (temporary), torture Pairings: Astarion/Wyll/Karlach

Astarion doesn't get time to be terrified of the party, because Wyll cuts off what he sees as a feral vampire spawn's head long before he can try to seduce them. The only problem is that this doesn't kill him. And it continues to not kill him.

Reccer says: this is an achingly beautiful exploration of a team that gets off not so much on the wrong foot but on a freefall - each doing horrible things to each other in ways that all read perfectly understandable from their point of views, but have wretched lasting consequences. the author writes them so in character that I want to throttle them and fall in love all over again

What Could Have Been by Bella1433 (70000, Explicit) Warnings: There is mention of past sexual trauma, its Explicit, and goes into dark territory but not dead dove. Pairings: Named Tav X Astarion

Astarion's transformation into a vampire lord and Sima's fight to reclaim their lost love thrust them into a perilous dance of power, obsession, and redemption.

Reccer says: Its dark, rich, has a different tone and some of the most immersive writing I've read

the ghost of elturel by Raayide (4452, General) Warnings: None Pairings: Astarion and Zevlor

Astarion and Zevlor meet, talk, hate each other, and hate themselves. There is nothing particularly of note about any of it.

Reccer says: Recognition of self in the other tied with some amazing introspection and metaphor

Circus of the dead by Ineadhyn (5995, Explicit) Warnings: Rape/Non-con, graphic violence, self-harm Pairings:

A dark horror circus AU with Astarion, Cazador, and his other spawns.

Reccer says: This is so beautiful, tragic, gripping, and I'm utterly obsessed with everything about it.

No Good Deeds by Garnett Gibson (39715, Explicit) Warnings: None Pairings: Astarion/Tav

A young woman trying to be a good person gets corrupted by Astarion as they navigate the tadpole issue.

Reccer says: Delicious slow burn and creative deviations from canon.

The Lord and his new ways by FartasticDurge (26459, Explicit) Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Coercion, Manipulation, Abusive Relationships, Dissociation Pairings: Astarion/Tav

Ascended Astarion and Spawn Tav's post-game turbulent relationship from Tav's POV.

Reccer says: She struggles between doing what she thinks is right and obeying him, and seeing her process is interesting. In the latest chapter, they go to therapy, a unique twist for Ascended Astarion.

In Time by FartasticDurge (16927, Explicit) Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Pairings: Astarion/Tav, Astarion & Gale

Post-canon fic where Astarion is looking for a Tav who died and reincarnated into another person. Gale helps him find her, but things take an unexpected turn when they find her.

Reccer says: Astarion POV, a lot of D&D lore, the friendship between Gale and Astarion is interesting and supportive. Tav and Astarion's roles are reversed; he is being nice and she is suspicious of him, which is a nice twist with funny moments.

How Far You've Come by Garnett Gibson (5481, Explicit) Warnings: None Pairings: Astarion/Tav

Astarion's obedient consort has come a long way, but sometimes she still steps out of line.

Reccer says: I liked it!

If Only For One Night by Terrormisu (682, Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Astarion/Tav

With their party always busy, Astarion finds himself longing for his little love.

Reccer says: It's a short sweet one shot that made me feel all warm and squishy inside. Hehe. But even the implied intimacy was steamy.

The above fanfic recommendations were pulled from our community for this weekly event. Have any questions about what this is? Check out the FAQ!

Next week, we’ll be back with another character rec list, this time focusing on Family!

[astarionsdurge]

Okay but can someone write a fic about F!durge x party infiltrating a party and durge has to dress up and "distract" the guards and astarion and halsin haven't seen her in anything other than armour so they're like 👁🫦👁

Someone pls i can't write 😭💀 if anyone decides to write this please tag me 🫠

[shewhowas39]

title: Nonsense rating: E / 18+ pairing: Astarion x f!durge (June)/OC summary: set in late act 3: the gang is stressed, and Halsin suggests they partake in some pipeweed t help them relax, but it may have unexpected (horny) effects on the undead. (or, the sex pollen fic where June gets railed by her horny, needy vampire boyfriend.) content warnings: sex pollen, recreational drug use (pipeweed), piv sex, vampire bites

A/N: this is the smutfic i wrote to celebrate 100 kudos on Juniper & Starlight. you don't need to read the longfic to read this one. just know that June is the dark urge and is in an established relatinship with Astarion. enjoy!

***

PREVIEW

He can’t take it anymore.

He needs her.

Right now.

“Everyone out!”

Conversation around the room stops as several pairs of confused and curious eyes turn toward him. 

“Is something wrong, Astarion?” Wyll asks. 

“The only thing wrong is that you are all still here,” he says, sliding an arm beneath June’s knees to lift her into a princess carry as he stands. “I’d strongly suggest you leave now.”

“Astarion!” June gasps, arms wrapping around his neck for support. 

“You joking, Fangs?” Karlach asks.

Shadowheart’s eyes drop down to the bulge in his trousers before making a disgusted noise and turning away. “He’s not. Let’s go.”

“By Mystra’s eyelids, you two!” Gale croaks, his face turning very red as he stands up and shuffles to the door. Several of the others make noises of outrage and protest while June gives them an apologetic look. 

Astarion does not care. He’d take her on the floor in front of everyone right now if that was his only option. But he doubts June would be quite so amenable to an audience. It really is terribly annoying that this floor of the Elfsong is so open, affording them all very little privacy. Normally, he’d try to plan around this situation - sneaking off to another inn, waiting until everyone else was out, and so on. But there’s no time for that now. 

If he isn’t inside of her in the next five minutes, Astarion thinks he might die.

Five minutes might be pushing it, actually.

[galeorderbride]

My writing/blog is an open, inclusive space. I do NOT tolerate bigotry, transphobia, homophobia or anything else hateful.

Hi there! This is a fic masterlist for all my work. I exclusively write for Baldur's Gate 3 right now, and only have 2 longfics at the moment. Most of my OCs will be (good-aligned) Drow, I'm obsessed with them.

Right now, requests are closed so I can catch up. But they will reopen again soon!

I'm always open to asks/messages about my fics, future fics, or anything else :)

18+ Minors Do Not Interact. All my work has mature themes, including smut. Ratings present for smaller works/prompts

That's why everything is linked to A03, and I don't generally post full chapters on Tumblr.

Long Fics (both wips)

Gale Dekarios/Weave Wielder (OC: Evie, above right)

Zevlor/I, Who Needs Saving (OC: Lyrynna, above left)

...

Short fics/Drabbles/One Shots(SFW)

Musings of Hazelnut (Gale x Evie post-game prompt request, T rating, Fluff)

First Morning (Gale x F!Tav, post-game prompt, M rating for suggestive content, fluff)

A Private Moment (Gale x F!Tav, romantic post-wedding moment, prompt request. M rating for suggestive content, fluff)

Wash my Troubles Away (Gale x F!Tav, sharing a relaxing bath, prompt request. M rating for non-explicit nudity, hurt/comfort)

Short fics/Drabbles/One Shots (NSFW)

Burn in my Skin (Oathbreaker Knight x F!Tav; consensual possession leading to sex, religious imagery, dom/sub dynamics)

Welcome Home (Gale x F!Tav; fluff/smut, soft!dom Gale welcomes Tav to Waterdeep)

Forest For The Trees (Gale x F!Tav smut, Gale and Tav argue, make up sex ensues. Requested piece).

Forgiving the Flame for a Burn (Zevlor x F!Tav smut, Zevlor rescues Tav from an attack, angst/comfort)

Headcanons

Tav as a martial pacifist (Zevlor, Cal, Rolan, Dammon, Raphael, Haarlep) SFW

Tav as a martial pacifist pt. 2 (Geraldus, Wyll, Gale, Halsin, Astarion, good-aligned Durge) SFW

[lanafofana]

Hello! Welcome to my little corner of The Website. 

There’s quite a lot of you now so, in the interest of helping you find what you’re likely here to find, I thought it was time to create a pinned post for you.

Icon credit: Lichtenstyler picrew by Sparemoon

AO3 || Bluesky

October2024

Temptation Raphael x Tav (f) [nsfw]

Pumpkin Spiced Larceny Gen with a little Raph x Tav(f) for flavor

HalsinTavWeek2024[nsfw]

Scent Mark (Scent Kink)

Afforded A Chance (Breeding)

The Faithwarden & The Archdruid (Voyeurism)

Day Four (pending)

Cuckoo for a Cuckhold (Cuckold)

Instinct (Aphrodisiac)

Colossus (Shotgunning, Size kink)

Fics

To Soothe, Ignites[Halsin x Tav(f)]

The Price of Divinity [God!Gale x God!Tav(NB)]

I love him! Tav-I-Am![Seussian Riff]

Bereft [Astarion x Durge]

Midnight Snack [Gale x Female Tav][nsfw]

WIPs/Drabbles/Etc

Posthumous My love [Gale Angst]

Waterdeep's Most Wanted [Gale x Tav]

Unholy [Gale x Durge]

Goodbye

Durge x Tav

(wip)(wip) (wip) (wip) (wip)

Lanatav (my self indulgent pet project)

Banter and Dialogue

How it's going (an excuse to show off how cute I am)

My asks are open if you send me hate mail thanks in advance for the laugh!

Xoxo,

-Lana💋

[pixie-in-a-moonlantern]

Welcome to Pixie!

My BG3 obsession has birthed several fan stories and inspired the art above. I very much like Durge and their story, my favorite companion is Halsin, and favorite NPCs are Gortash, Raphael and Rugan. Feel free to check out my stuff:

Kill me like a lover

explicit » F/M (m/f/m) » Gortash, custom f!Durge, Halsin » CW: poly, whump, violence, blood, PiV, cunnilingus, rough sex, fluffy sex, graphic threats of violence, light breeding kink, creampie, pain kink, knifeplay, blood, toxic relationship traits, dubious consent, resisting Durge, fluff, angst, trauma on top of trauma on top of trauma

Read on Tumblr / AO3:

(prelude 7k words) * I don't like you * tumblr » / AO3 »

(main 13k words) * Kill me like a lover * tumblr » / AO3 »

Read on Wattpad:

(whole fic) * Kill me like a lover * Wattpad »

Plan: 1) Halsin only fic (fluff, angst, smut), 2) coronation ball (bloody, possibly smutty), 3) Bhaal temple (extra bloody, full-on angst and trauma), 4) Gort fight (diverging from canon)

Can't promise I will fulfill the plan, but that's what I'm thinking of. Will appreciate any love, especially reblogs and comments. Would kill to have someone to discuss this with, too >;)

Lil Halsin one-shots on AO3

What if I just kiss you? - Halsin x reader, teen+, a 'forceful' kiss prompt, a little irrational argument with Halsin resulting in a kiss, flashfic (905 words)

Wildshaped therapist - Halsin x reader, mature (alcohol), cat Halsin, depression, angsty pining, fluff, cat therapy, spooning a large hunk of elf, 2k words

[Interlude] Love, Halsin - Halsin/custom f!Durge, an in-between fic of my Durgetash/Halsin story (above) where I focus solely on Halsin and his Trauma™, mature, angst, hurt/comfort, crying man, fluff, 3k words

(To hug a bear - unfinished Halsin x OC with a spot of Astarion, mature (didn't get to smut), 4.7k words)

[littlelovelyra]

In Darkness, Hope Flickers. Chapter 1 (Mourning)

Ascended Astarion x Female Durge vampire spawn/consort (Named Lilah)

"This was the best choice, you made the right choice. You repeat those lines in your mind several times. You do not regret this… do you?"

New Series! From Astarion and Lilah's (named F!Durge) perspective

(her previous name was Nyx but I wasn't vibing with it so I am changing it to Lilah)

Ao3 if you prefer

Notes on this series before you start: I explore Ascended Astarion. In this world, I have chosen to have him find himself again as the series progresses. Now I know there are heated discussions that Ascended Astarion is bad so please think of this as a re-imagining of his story where yes, he has a lapse in judgment out of fear and ascends. However, I think it would be beautiful to have him redeem himself, defying what it is to be a vampire lord. Eventually, breaking the cycle of abuse. There will also be some moments in this series with Lilah (tav) and Halsin as the story plays out. I won't say too much.

Series Summary/where we start:

It happened, Astarion’s ascension. The man you once loved is no longer present, instead, in his place looms a darker, dominant remnant of him. You foolishly accepted his offer of being his consort, believing that he would turn you into a true vampire, much like him. It has been one week since your turn, and as each day passes you start to doubt that promise. There are moments where you see flickers of his old self, however, they are small moments that do not last long.

Warnings: Ascended Astarion, Dom vibes, jealousy, possessiveness, Consort Tav, Dark urge tav, PiV, Sex, let me know if i miss anything

MINORS DNI

Lilah

Thrust. “Hmph.” Thrust. “Gods, you’re perfect.” Thrust. Sweat drips down the side of your face as his grip tightens on your hips, gliding one hand up your spine he snakes it around and pulls you up by the base of your neck. The sweat that has settled on his chest feels cold against your back that is now pressed against him and you rock your body up and down his manhood. It is in these moments where you feel the most connected to him, you can close your eyes and pretend he is still the same man he was before his ascension.

“Hmph. So eager, my pet.” The curls of his hair tickle your face as he drops his head down nudging yours to the side, exposing your neck. As he clamps down to drink an orgasm ripples through your body and you feel his hand gently squeeze the base of your neck near your collarbone. He releases his bite and pushes you back face down on the bed. Firm hands once again grip your hips as his thrusts slam into you and you feel the pace quicken.

Thrust.

Thrust.

Thrust.

You feel his body stiffen behind you as he takes one last plunge deep into your core and ecstasy rips through his body sending waves of small spasms jolting through him. He pauses a moment, making sure all his spend has been emptied and he flips you over onto your back his crimson eyes are ablaze as he stares at you.

“My most beloved, spawn, my dark consort. How delicious you look, covered in sweat and breathing heavily for me.” His hand runs up your stomach as he catches your chin between his thumb and index finger. Releasing his grip he brings his hand to his mouth, punctures an opening on his middle finger and brings it down slowly pushing it to your mouth. Eagerly you drink the small amount he is willing to offer you as part of your hopes that this is the moment he allows you true vampirism. But this feels the same as any other time, the only intention he has is to show you he is in control and only he decides when it’s your turn.

Tears sting your eyes and your vision becomes blurry, how long would you subject yourself to these games? You could run away, you still have the tadpole but it won’t be forever. Even if you ran away, once the tadpole was gone, you were still under his control. What a fool you were in allowing him to ascend, at the time, you thought supporting what he wanted was the right thing to do. You knew what it was like to live in fear, Bhaal had the same effect on you. If you could take it all back you would. You now know that fear isn’t a bad thing, not if you have support around you. But what’s done is done, you cannot take any of it back and these are the consequences you now live with.

“Little love, whatever could be the matter?” He cocks his head to the side and for a moment you thought you caught a glimpse of genuine concern in his eyes.

“Astarion, it’s been a week… I’m starting to believe that maybe you have no intention of turning me into a true vampire.” There is a slight wobble to your voice, you are nervous. Bringing this up always ends with him angered and asserting his power over you.

“How many times do we have to have this discussion? It will happen when I am ready for it to happen. If you keep bringing it up I’ll make you wait longer. Do not test my patience.” He moves off the bed to dress himself for the day and you watch him move around the room, your heart aches for the loss of the man you loved.

Without a word, you clean yourself up, get dressed and move to the door to leave your private quarters.

“And where do you think you’re going?” His voice is cold and commanding, if it weren’t for the tadpole you assumed you wouldn’t be able to move in this moment. Instead, utilising the temporary freedom you have, you exit the room. Not a single acknowledgment comes from you at his question.

Before you know it you have found yourself standing in front of Halsin, as he is lost in whittling yet another duck for his collection. You softly clear your throat which grabs his attention.

“Sorry, I was distracted, you know what I’m like when I whittle.” He stands up and his brow furrows as he looks at you. “You have been crying. You have done that a lot recently. What can I do to make it better?” He pulls you into a soft hug and you let him, you know you shouldn’t but you and Halsin have had special arrangements previously. You weren’t sure where they stood now, but you didn’t care to ask Astarion. Not when he is the way he is and Halsin would gladly be whatever you needed him to be.

“Things are different with him, Halsin. He’s changed for the worse. I don’t know what to do, I feel like a fool.” You whisper into his chest unable to control the soft sobs that leave your lips.

“You did the best you could do, your choices were made in love. Do not fault yourself for loving someone the way you love him.” He bends his head and softly places a kiss on your forehead. A rush of shame fills you, you do not wish to lead him on, however, his warmth is welcoming.

“Halsin, I… I do not wish to lead you on. I love him… I just don’t know what to do.” You tilt your head to meet his soft eyes as he holds you.

“Lilah, I will be whatever you need me to be. The time we spent together intimately will be etched into my memory for as long as I live. If that is where our intimate connection stops, I will hold it dearly. If you require a friend, I will be just that.” He strokes his hand down the side of your face, his smile is earnest, and he means every word he says.

“Well, what do we have here?” A voice cuts through the air, you can almost taste the venom laced in each word. As you turn to face him, Halsin has respectfully let you go and stands at your side with his jaw clenched. “I leave my consort alone for five minutes and the animals descend. Have you no shame, Halsin? Or do you prefer indulging in my leftovers?” The words cut through your heart like a blade.

“Leftovers? LEFTOVERS?” You have never heard Halsin raise his voice and the entire camp stops. “If you dare speak that way of her again Astarion I will do what I must to protect her honour.” Halsin places a protective step between you and Astarion, you watch as delight spreads across his face at the challenge laid before him.

“Hah! You can try. She belongs to me and only me. I know we had our past arrangements but your… services are no longer needed, Halsin.” Astarion’s face is smug as he watches Halsin wince at the words. Your heart hurts for the druid and you wish you could do something to ease his shame. Rage floods your veins, it has been a while since your past affected you and you know you will never fully get rid of it.

“Astarion. That is enough. Halsin is my friend and I am entitled to spend my time however I please.” You watch as his crimson eyes glow with anger at your disrespect. “So long as I have this tadpole in my head, I have free will and I will enjoy every. Single. Moment of it.” You take Halsin by the hand and exit the shared quarters leaving Astarion speechless and seething behind you.

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Astarion:

As you walk into the shared quarters you find her in the arms of the druid and you watch him run his hand softly down the side of her cheek. Something drops in the pit of your stomach, it feels like, pain. Nonsense. You are the Vampire Ascendant, you do not feel emotional pain, you do not feel jealousy and you certainly do not allow another man to run his hands over what belongs to you. A powerful being such as yourself does not need lovers’ quarrels and matters of the heart. You are no longer a weakling. Let her have her time with Halsin, you know that she would not dare be physical with him, no, your consort is infatuated with you.

However, you find yourself with some free time today, perhaps you could indulge with some good old-fashioned stalking. Put your pet to the test and see what she does with her delusion of freedom. While you are watching her you could think of a plan to reel her back in line, maybe dangle some warmth her way… tell her you love her, tell her she is the best thing that has happened to you and make her feel special. It would be easy, you know how she waits to be commanded. You hear it in the way her breath stills when you speak and see it in her eyes as they stay glued to your every move.

Keeping track of them isn’t hard, even in a crowd of people Halsin sticks out like a sore thumb. You can say what you want about the druid but the one thing he has going for himself is the sheer size of him. No one would want to mess with that. You carefully watch as they walk the streets and it doesn’t escape your attention that his hand brushes against hers now and then. You feel a twitch of something in your chest every time his hand touches hers. A feeling you should not be experiencing, is that… jealousy? It couldn’t be, no, you are merely annoyed that someone else is touching something that belongs to you. Simple.

You follow them through Balder’s Gate as they make their way toward Rivington. What is your plan druid? You think to yourself watching them descend the hill towards a secluded beach. You notice that just above the shoreline where they sit is a cliff that has many bushes surrounding it. As you stealthily make your way, you slip into the shadows of the shrubbery and listen.

“Are you alright, my heart?” The druid places his hand atop hers and you see her face flush as she turns to him.

“I am as good as I can be. Halsin, I… I am so sorry for the way he spoke to you. You did not deserve that.” She places her free hand on his cheek and you feel a deep rage settle in your chest.

“You’re apologising? You need not apologise to me. The way he spoke of you… as if you meant nothing more than scraps. It enraged me.” Halsin’s voice hardens at the memory and part of you regrets your choice of words when it came to her. She is not your leftovers… why you chose those words, you will never understand. The pain on her face when those words hit her left you feeling… ashamed. You will not dwell on it, that is yet another sign of weakness and you were past that. She should know better.

“Perhaps he is right, maybe I am not worth more than that. Look what I have done to myself… all for him. Have I no self-respect?” You hear the quiver in her voice it cracks and gives way to her sobs and a familiar feeling settles in the pit of your stomach.

Halsin pulls her into his arms, lifts her face to his and you watch as he brings his lips to hers. I am going to make him bleed for that. Your thoughts are full of anger and disbelief as you see for a moment she leans into him and suddenly releases the kiss.

“I still love him… I’m so sorry. I wish I could turn it off but I can’t, I’m pathetic.” Her voice sounds small, defeated and you are not sure how to feel about this. On the one side, this gives you the upper hand and you realise how much power you hold over her. On the other side, there is a small desire to show her that as your consort she is certainly not pathetic, you would never allow your consort to be anything but perfect.

“Love makes fools of us all, Lilah. Perhaps in time, you will learn how to move on from the man he once was and if you were to open yourself to another, I would be there. But if that doesn’t happen I am here all the same as your friend.” He wraps his arm around her shoulder.

“And you would be happy? Just as my friend?” She asks quietly.

“As long as I am in your life in some capacity, I will be happy.” He replies.

“Halsin? If that day ever came, if I was ever able to stop loving him… I would come to find you and if you weren’t committed to another maybe we could be together then.” Her voice is soft as she places her hand on his shoulder.

“I would not settle down, perhaps take lovers, but settle down? I have only ever wanted that from you. I do not imagine it would change.” The druid smiles at her and looks out onto the ocean.

You do not wish to hear any more of this conversation and as you quietly make your way back up the hill you find yourself thinking of what you would do if she left you. If she were to move on to love another. Your stomach twists and you become nauseous at the thought. You would not allow that to happen. She is yours… she could never be anyone else’s.

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Lilah:

After spending the day with Halsin you feel better. This morning’s drama rattled you and that word still lingers in your mind… leftovers… is that what he truly thinks of you? If that was the case, then perhaps it was time for you to rethink your relationship with him. You can’t spend your eternity like this, under his torment.

As you and Halsin enter the Elfsong Tavern and head upstairs to the shared quarters you notice the door to your private room is open. You glance at Halsin who gives you a small nod followed by an understanding smile. He places a soft kiss on your cheek and enters the shared room.

Sighing to yourself you slowly enter your private quarters and find Astarion sitting on the chair in the corner of the room.

“Did you enjoy yourself? You caused quite the scene this morning.” His voice is cool and unbothered, his ruby eyes glisten watching you, waiting for your response.

“It was not I who caused a scene this morning, master.” You spit out the last word at him and you see a quick wince from him, you would have missed it had you blinked.

“Now my darling consort… you need not address me as master, but you know that don’t you?” He rises from his chair and crosses the room. Gently he cups your face and leans in to kiss you tenderly. The softness of the kiss surprises you, he has not kissed you like this since his ascension. Maybe you have finally gotten through to him. He pulls back and holds your gaze while his thumb lazily runs along your jaw.

“I do rather like that, you know?” His voice is soft, and sweet and sounds almost vulnerable.

“Oh, you do? I would have thought you would have been disgusted since I am nothing but leftovers.” Your voice cracks and tears sting your eyes once more as you glare at him.

“My love, I didn’t mean it. I was caught up in the heat of the moment. You should know that you are much more than that. You are my consort, I would never think so little of you.” He trails kisses along your jawline and down your neck. Your head becomes dizzy at his soft touch. “You are my most beloved spawn.” As soon as the words leave his mouth you are snapped back into reality.

“That is all I will ever be to you, won’t it? Your spawn? You never intend for me to become a true vampire.” Your voice is soft as you whisper out the realisation.

“Darling, I’m hurt. You think so little of me… I simply want to get used to this power before we take the next step… after all, we have all eternity, what is the rush?” His words flow through you like honey and you cannot find the words to argue with him. “I don’t wish to fight with you, can’t we just forget what happened this morning?” He kisses you down your neck once again.

“Do you love me?” The question spills out from your lips and you feel him freeze.

“Of course I love you. Why would you ever doubt that, my love?” He turns you to face him and yet again for a moment, you see a small flicker of genuine concern that is soon masked by his newfound confidence. You pray to whatever gods are listening that he means it because you cannot let him go. Not yet.

“Little love, let me show you just how much you mean to me?” His breath is hot in your ear as he leads you to the bed.

“Do you think… we could just lay together? Like we used to?” You watch his face as he contemplates your request.

“If that will make my consort happy, then that is what we shall do.” There is a calculated look in his smile but you push it aside for this moment of intimacy. You have not held each other like this since his ascension and as you lay there in his arms you close your eyes for a moment, sleep finds you quickly.

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Astarion:

As you lay there with her on your chest, memories fill your mind. Memories of nights when the two of you lay cuddled together sharing laughs, secrets and dreams. A small twang of emotion shoots itself across your chest and you shove it down, you were pathetic then and you will never be ever again. If she loved you then surely she would love you now, especially when you can offer her power beyond measure. She would never have to feel afraid again, and neither would you. This was the best choice, you made the right choice. You repeat those lines in your mind several times. You do not regret this… do you?

No. You can’t and won’t regret this. She will learn to appreciate the powerful vampire you have become and once she realises your power she will understand why this was the right decision. You will enjoy this and you will build yourself an empire. For the both of you. No one could stop you.