#as you can imagine i am truly having the time of my life
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HEY! Trump didn't repeal the EEOA, he repealed the order applying it to federal employment. Please let your followers know that they still have those protections if they work for a private employer.
Also, if your boss says any different, don't correct them; contact an employment lawyer. They work on contingency, which means you can get one even if you have no money.
Hey! I understand your point here, and the intensity with which you are making it, the hopes behind why you are making it, and the need for us to ensure that people do continue to know their rights, and stand up against corrupt employers, NOT LOSE HOPE,… all of it.
Please know, I truly understand all of these things. As does OP who posted the thing that I re-blogged from, and you can go see more behind the thinking and why this is such a big deal here.
AND
I have to be very honest I think that a lot of you who are bringing this “you’re wrong, it’s not that big of a deal“ are yet again not paying attention to Texans.
Obviously unless you list it in your profile, I have no idea where you are located… But I do know that OP and I are both Texans. And I don’t know any other way to say this, except that Texas & Florida are very specifically where white Nationalist far right crypto fascist ideologies come to life immediately. I care a whole lot more about those of us who are on the front lines of these things and those two states in particular are paying attention to then I do people whose states are going to grant them immediate back up guarantees that they’re not fucked over by this. That does not exist in my world.
I am a Texan who works for a nonprofit organization that is considered a federal contractor. I oversee and administer both private funds from those who just make donations as well as public funds from every level of government that overseas the state of Texas, meaning city, county, state, and federal. As with all things and government funding, the federal government sets the policies, and then everything trickles there from after. That part might take a long time to get impacted, but I do just wanna note it will happen if this executive order stands.
but again, Texas is special. Because our state government worships Trump, it means there’s going to be enormous pressure for us to immediately drop our adherence to the EEOC. It will sound a lot like “why would you opt into all of this government, bureaucracy and red tape when you don’t have to and your business can just move faster. “
Business leaders who are even moderate will get compelled by this nonsense. Of course, when it comes to my decisions as a leader and my organization, We won’t, but that’s the landscape we’re in… There are numerous powerful entities who have a Texas based vested interest in ensuring that the EEOC does not exist any longer. Because they are no longer going to be held responsible by upholding it at the national level, it will be immediately overturned within more private and local businesses at the Texas state level, then you could possibly even begin to imagine. even though my world, my sector, my peers. and my organization is very far left for the state of Texas, I will be in Rooms where bosses, business owners, and employers of all kinds With power over me as funders will be laughing hardly about how they get to save all kinds of money and hire whoever they want. I’m telling you this will happen…
The chilling effect won’t take years in Texas . It will be immediate because these are his friends that are waiting for this to go through. My governor, Greg Abbott, is one of the Trump administration‘s most violent, active, vocal, unapologetic, and sycophants style worshipers Trump has.
Don’t get me started on how our states’ medical infrastructures have been decimated by our lack of participation in the affordable care act/marketplace. Do you live in a state where you get nine times more Medicare funding for poor citizens from the feds because they’re not an adversary to the federal government when Democrats have been in charge? I don’t! The negative impact on Texan’s health has been truly incalculable .
How about also in 2021 when abortion became illegal through the SCOTUS shadow docket in the state of Texas, people exactly like me right now a.k.a. no really me were screaming from the rooftops that Roe was gonna get overturned at the national level.
We were fully ignored… And that’s just speaking to the most recent example of how this goes.
The old saying has goes Texas so it goes the country is very true. The threats to the EEOC might feel really far away to somebody who lives in a blue state or somebody who has an employer who will just inherently follow it, but there’s about to be a lot of very immediate very disgusting and very troubling fall out from this executive order and to diminish it, in my opinion, it’s just as insulting to me as a Texan as it probably feels insulting to you as someone who thinks that I’m being alarmist.
i’m not mad and I don’t mean to be rude, I just really feel like these kinds of concerns are always diminished and I don’t think this is a time for diminishment.
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𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝟔 (𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥)
༻༺༻༺༻༺
༻༺༻༺༻༺
The months after your engagement passed in a joyful blur. Wedding planning wasn’t without its chaos—debates over guest lists, venue hunting, and the endless details—but through it all, you and Drew leaned on each other. Every decision felt like a step closer to the life you’d both dreamed of, a life you were building together with care and intention.
You settled on a small, intimate ceremony on the California coast. The cliffs overlooked the ocean, the waves crashing against the rocks below, the air filled with the scent of salt and blooming wildflowers. It was a day straight out of a dream, but the most magical part wasn’t the venue, the dress, or even the golden sunset—it was the way Drew looked at you as you walked toward him.
His blue eyes shimmered with tears, a smile breaking across his face as if he couldn’t believe this moment was real.
“You look like forever,” he whispered when you reached him, his hands trembling as they took yours.
The ceremony was simple, heartfelt, and perfectly you. When Drew said his vows, his voice broke, and for a moment, he paused, taking a shaky breath as he looked into your eyes.
“I’ve loved you for so long, even when I didn’t know how to say it,” he began. “You’re my best friend, my home, my safe place. You make me better, stronger, and braver, and every single day, I thank the universe for bringing you back to me. I promise to love you, choose you, and fight for us—always.”
Tears streamed down your cheeks as you recited your vows, your voice steady despite the whirlwind of emotions. “Drew, you’ve always been my greatest what-if, my unfinished sentence. But now, I get to write the rest of my story with you. You’re my partner, my greatest love, and my home. I promise to stand by your side, to celebrate your dreams, and to love you in every moment—big or small—for the rest of our lives.”
When the officiant pronounced you husband and wife, Drew kissed you like it was the first and last time, the world falling away until it was just the two of you.
༻༺
Married life felt like an extension of the life you’d already been building together—comfortable, joyful, and full of love. But it also brought new adventures, new dreams, and new lessons.
Drew’s career continued to soar, his new series earning him accolades and opportunities he’d never imagined. You supported him at every premiere, every red carpet, your hand in his as he navigated the world of fame with his characteristic humility.
Your own career flourished in L.A., and for the first time, you felt truly settled. The two of you made time for the little things: late-night walks on the beach, lazy Sunday mornings with coffee and pancakes, and quiet evenings on the couch watching old movies.
One afternoon, as you sat on the patio watching Drew water the lemon tree, you couldn’t help but smile.
“What?” he asked, catching your gaze.
“Just thinking about how happy I am,” you said, your voice soft.
Drew set down the watering can and walked over, crouching in front of you. “You know, I think about that all the time. How lucky I am to have this—to have you.”
He reached for your hand, his thumb brushing over your wedding ring. “You’re my favorite part of every day.”
Years passed, and your love only grew stronger. There were challenges—long stretches apart during filming, the pressures of balancing work and family—but you faced them all together, knowing that no matter what, you had each other.
Eventually, the two of you decided to start a family. It was a new chapter, one filled with sleepless nights, baby giggles, and a love so profound it made your heart ache. Watching Drew as a father—his patience, his joy, the way he lit up every time your child said, “Daddy!”—only deepened your love for him.
Your home became a place of laughter and love, a sanctuary where every corner told a story. The lemon tree in the backyard grew taller, its branches heavy with fruit every summer. You planted a garden, built a swing set, and spent countless evenings watching the sunset, your family by your side.
One night, as you and Drew sat together on the porch, your now toddler fast asleep inside, he pulled you close and kissed the top of your head.
“Do you ever think about how crazy life is?” he asked, his voice soft.
You smiled, leaning into him. “All the time. But I wouldn’t change a thing.”
He nodded, his hand resting on your knee. “Me neither. You’re my best decision, you know that?”
“And you’re mine,” you said, your fingers lacing with his.
༻༺༻༺༻༺
𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @maybanksgirl69 @raeven-marie43 @niktwazny303
#drew starkey#fanfic#drew x reader#rafe#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe imagine
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I loathe love you
“My dearest, Zaros
I must confess I find putting words to paper is much easier rather then speaking them aloud. I must also confess to being hesitant to write this , but to also send it. However, I did not want to lose contact with my closest confidant and companion . Have you already finished your studies the board has assigned us over the holidays? I imagine you already have as you are eager to please and eager to learn all you can. I do not know how long I can make this letter. As you must know life as an Earis is very busy because I am so important so I have many duties to attend , so you should be quite glad you are taking up my time out of school. Almost no one has such a privilege. You must hang out to my every word , it is only right since I’m such a figure. At the time of writing I have a meeting with my mother and then I have hours set aside after dinner to study individually, I must keep my mind sharp to be an Eminence. As of now the weather is quite satisfactory, all clouds look whiter than the shade of your hair in the light. Sadly, I must depart as one has to get ready for the meeting, it is very tedious despite it being so casual , but I am used to it.
Your’s
The Earis”
From the date stamped onto the back of the paper , the letter had been posted one week ago exactly, quite swiftly but then again they must have their own postal service. Zaros chuckled lightly at the mix of vulnerability and of their snark. It was truly amusing how versatile they could be , but then again he supposed that was human nature.
Zaros set the page down with an uncharacteristic amount of reverence and immediately set to work on his own letter in response, muttering something about it being perfect.
Many crumpled papers and wasted ink he had finally come up with a sufficient draft of what he wanted to say , but if he had to write another damned letter he might have leap out of the nearest window. Half out of frustration for not getting the letter right, and half of the fact he was so upset over it, it was just a letter to a friend, not a graded assignment. Then again, his own pining had taken over all reason ,and muddled his brain to the point of being lovesick and unable to make his thoughts make sense let alone come out right
upon much frustration zaros came upon the words that seemed all right at best
“My dear Earis
I must say I’m simultaneously suprised and somehow not that you wrote, and to write as eloquently and expressively as you did struck a chord in me.
You do have a way with words that could put the greatest poet to shame
As to your question , I did read the books, wrote a page on it for extra credit, read some more books because the war had some interesting characters I felt compelled to learn more about. Perhaps , you will learn something or do you think you have learned enough for a lifetime?
I’m sorry my letter will be short, truthfully I could not figure out what to say worthy of eyes , but thankfull by the time you will get this we will back in school and I , in your presence.
I will see you soon.
Your most loyal companion ,
Zaros Athalin. “
Zaros sighed and folded the paper with quiet acceptance, it was not was he wanted to say-not what he wanted to at all . He stared longingly at a discarded piece of paper on his desk. It had barely any writing, his greeting, his name at the end. And 3 detrimental words
“Greetings my Earis
I love you
Your humble servant “
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.~
#not a vent just a journal entry (feel free to scroll past; there is no snz here and this is also not that interesting)#realizing now that i never thought of myself as#someone whose absence would register to others in any other way than just neutral/detached recognition?#phrasing this really badly and i am truly going to delete this later bc it is embarrassing LOL#i think when i was young and posting all this fic into questionable places (the f*rum) i was like#(@ an unfinished work of mine) no way anyone could be bothered by these cliffhangers 👍 they can just imagine the ending#even though i would frequently be bothered by other people's cliffhangers. that exact same principle just wouldn't apply to me in my head#and when i did not respond to people i was like.. i'm sure i wasn't really an important part of their lives so they won't mind it#if i stepped away?#i never really entertained the concept of people missing me or looking forward to my responses 😭 i never thought of myself as someone worth#missing... so when i disappeared it was always with little to no sense of guilt. i think even now i struggle with#seeing myself as someone that inhabits like a tangible enough space in other people's lives that my absence would be felt#(and i don't mean that in a morbid way. and i do recognize that it's quite hypocritical)#on the flipside of things i frequently miss people and look forward to their responses. and sometimes i wonder like#do they all know? do they all know that i miss them because they somehow understand this aspect of human nature better than i do?#or are they in the dark like i am? are these things assumed or are they only known when they are said... 😭#i am a little bit of a coward so i am not saying anything (also because can you even say this kind of thing to someone??#i would probably die of embarrassment) but#how strange it is to have someone suddenly inhabit a space in your life that is substantial enough that#when they're gone you feel that space open up and you miss them#the few times in my life people have conveyed that sentiment to me i remember feeling puzzled that my presence could have that kind of#weight to them. i think my problem is that i purposefully do not read between the lines if the conclusion is something favorable towards me#because i don't want to bank on something good that might or might not be true 😭 anyways this is way too long already. if you read this#then good morning or goodnight
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thinking about if tos mccoy had died before romulus was destroyed, tos spock could've been carrying his not-quite-a-katra during the events of the aos movies
#spones#star trek#leonard mccoy#spock#star trek tos#if you went mcspirk you could ignore generations and say he's carrying kirk's not-a-katra in his head too lmao but this is foremost spones#god can you imagine mccoy's commentary seeing baby aos jim?????#i bet this has been done a hundred times before but i'm not gonna get it out of my head now#mccoy finally having death catch up to him squinting up at spock's face: surely you can't be serious#spock; looking down at this human that he has long admitted to himself at least that he cannot bear to part from: don't call me shirley#mccoy; scowling: god i hate you#spock; eyes shining: do you hate me enough to spend the rest of my life bickering with me in my head doctor?#mccoy; his own eyes shining back: someone's gotta keep you off the straight and narrow#spock: i knew you'd see things my way - i am after all usually correct - wouldn't you agree?#mccoy: i cannot believe i'm in love with you. truly the tragedy of our time. anyway come on get inside me so i can get inside you#spock; contemplative: we shall have to see if - in our shared mental space - we would be able to properly consummate -#mccoy; flushing but smirking: you really did spend too much time with humans didn't ya#spock: perhaps - and yet i believe it would not be enough time if you had not agreed to this doctor#mccoy: yeah yeah til your death do us part. i love you too you big softie#spock; softly: and i you
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People like this have made me terrified that I am mischaracterizing my favorite character by playing into his strengths and emphasizing them so much... That I'm making things "too anime", "too over-the-top", and by doing that straying away from the groundedness that made the character compelling in the first place... But I think it's better to be a fan who loves someone so much they're willing to step into goofy over-the-top showcases of strength and morals out of love than being a fake fan who only ever rags on what they proclaim is so dear to them. I dunno. I don't think I'm wrong in saying that. I'm hella insecure when it comes to my own writing, especially with this guy because I want to do him as much justice as I possibly can as a writer. But I have to convince myself that it's not too much.
#logs#it doesn't help that i've been exposed to a lot of bad writing and cynical critique in general‚ so i'm even more fearful...#but i think the cure for that is to just... read more‚ and read with an honest heart#i don't know... i feel like i have a lot of growth to do as a person‚ as a reader and writer before i can execute this to the level where it#can truly be considered a masterpiece. grounded‚ yet not so. over-the-top in every way while also providing meaningful critique and#commentary on the nature of humanity. gutwrenching dialogue packed neatly with the most insane displays of asskicking. commentary on how war#is cruel and bad and only sows misery contrasted with the coolest battle scenes you have ever seen. these are the essence of the things i#love‚ and i want to be able to channel that through my own writing as well. it's the only way to do justice to the source material‚ the only#way to truly pay a tribute to the things that i love.#now that i am free‚ i can finally become more cultured... read more books‚ watch more films‚ inhale old mecha anime... it's what i've always#dreamed of doing#i just need to undo the mental shackles of ''i cannot do this right now''... i can. i finally can. i just need to let my mind catch up to#that. give it a little push along the way#once that's done... the journey begins.#i anguish a lot over the fact that my writing is locked in a tomb for the next decade... but sometimes‚ like now‚ i think‚ hey‚ maybe that#isn't so bad. imagine how many movies you can watch in those ten years... good movies‚ bad ones‚ exceptional ones... i'll have grown so much#as a writer by that point in time because i'll have learned the ''how'' part of what i want to write. i have the ''what'' already‚ and a#general idea of ''how''‚ but... ten years from now‚ i'll be able to write everything in a way that truly makes my eyes shine#a rare moment of me being hopeful for the future... i cherish it as those don't last very long in my life. i more often tend to despair#(cursed be the chemical disbalance!)#but yeah. there is a lot to look forward to despite the hardships. sure it would've been nice to just... have it all here‚ but... that's not#the world i live in. and maybe this one isn't so bad‚ either.#i have my box of scraps. now i just need to make it out of the cave.#the deadliest type of man is one with motivation and a purpose. right?
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<3
#been thinking a lot about how whenever i have a dream or an idea marinating in my brain for long enough it then becomes something that i am#determined to pursue. and that no one can really dissuade me from#it simply becomes a permanent part of my creative direction in life#i guess you could say that's kind of the same thing as having a special interest but not QUITE#like for example. what i'm thinking of right now is my desire to start a band#and i come up with a lot of crazy ideas on a day to day basis but a good amount of them end up being simply fleeting or dictated by my mood#the ones that stay though... those are the one that actually HAPPEN#i've wanted to sing in a band for at least a year now#to be honest it's probably been longer but it's been at least a year of me being consciously aware of it#and it just made me realize. this desire has stuck around in my brain for quite a while now#and i think that means it is going to happen someday#i don't know exactly how yet because the way i originally thought it might happen (me going to music college) didn't work out#but it's been a year and i'm still thinking about it and keeping my eyes open in case i meet the right people to make music with#i know from experience that when i put my mind to something i WILL get it done#in the sense that i will surprise myself with how stubborn i can be when it comes to not stopping chasing my dreams#and i've had big goals in the past that i did achieve because of this#i'm also like. surprisingly adaptable??? i only recently learned that about myself but i be pulling Plan B's out of my sleeves#so that's all to say -- i'm choosing to believe that i will start my band someday and it will be better than i can imagine right now#and in general i'm choosing to believe that the things i truly love and truly want in my life will only become more clear over time#even if i'm confused and lost at times NOW... if i keep moving forward in time it will all make sense#and a lot of times situations do work out exactly the way they were meant to but in the most unexpected of ways#i don't know how coherent this all was but yeah#starting a band is only the most recent example#belle speaks
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ome day i will be so normal
#thought abt my apartment again sigh. MY CURRENT SITUATION IS NOT BAD RHIS IS NOT THE SAME AS WHEN I WAS IN WA THINKING ABT MY APT#disclaiming bc i dont want 2 worry ppl. im quite happy here im just also excited for when im finally able 2 move out.... i like. truly truly#honest to god think id be able ro shower everyday Which is my goal#like. itll be easier once i live alone and Im the one buying all my shower products and everything#bc rn since i dont have money i have to ask my parents to buy me more shower stuff and i feel so jnsanely guilty. + the general depression#making it hard to shower and all that#but i thnnk once i have my Very own place where i live by myself itll be so much easier to like..do things. bc ill be able tk move abt the#house freely Not that i cant here like im fully allowed i just. Get weird abt everything and ive been doing that even before wa i like#hardly left my room... yk. wa i think actually made it a bit better bc i realized how much i was missing out on LOL. but its still a bit bad#i only leave if i Have a thing to do i never like. Just go sit in the living room or whatever... bc i dont like to intrude#Which is so stupid but whatever. at my apartment i want to try not to lay in bed all day#and my bed will just be for sleeping and ill hang out in my livinf room and itll be all decorated and nice and ill shower EVERY SINGLE DAY !#bc i wont be scared of anything happening (not that anything would here but yk .)#and i might even have a window in my bedroom i used to hateee bedroom windows my family has always been very Blackout curtains#but in wa b4 i was in the garage there was a big bedroom window and it was kinda nice to wake up to sunlight and stuff...#but i also have trouble sleeping if not in complete darkness. so you know..... we will see#also i only want that if im like . Not on the ground floor and its not like a um. If anybody can peek in my windows im getting blackout#curtains im Terrified of being watched through my windows i have nightmares abt ir all the time. Which is funny bc there r no windows in the#garage LOL#i just hate 2 be seen its true. bud all of that will be fixed when i have my apartmenttt :] and in my apartment ill be buying the groceries#so i wont have to feel guilty abt trying new recipes and stuff (not that i have to now bc my family likes trying new recipes and if im being#real i WILL still feel guilty spending money bc i have a complex. but im fantasizing rn so we dont have to worry abt that)#AUGHHH im just excited ik its a ways away but i rly am so excited like :] i would even be able to take baths sometimes i feel rly guilty#taking baths bc i dont like to hog the bathroom but if i lived alone then i wouldnt have to worry abt it#and i could do the fancy baths like with candles and stuff. i used to do that when we lived in my hometown.... and when i have my own place#i could do that whenever i wanted i could even gt one of those fancy bath trays even though they scare me rly rly rly bad bc i get paranoid#avr them falling in . ive never used one injust imagine them falling in andget scared#i also dont fully know how they work if your bathtubs like a built in one yk. bc sometimes theres no rim to rest it on? but whatever. ill#figure it out. hopefully i di have a bathtub And in unit laundry i rly want those but yk i may have 2 settle. but those 2 things would make#my life so good .... and a kitchennn my own kitchen even if its small
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the thing about some men is that they want you to remember, at all times, that you are underneath them. that with one word or look or "joke", you will stay beneath them. that even "exceptions" to the rule are not true exceptions - the commonly cited statistic that one in eight men believe they could win against serena williams.
women's gymnastics is often not seen as real gymnastics. whatever the fuck non-euclidian horrors rhythmic gymnasts are capable of, it's often tamped down as being not a sport. some of the most dominant athletes in the world are women. nobody watches women's soccer. despite years of dancing and being built like a fucking brick, men always assume they're faster and stronger than i am. you wouldn't like what happens when they are incorrect. once while drunk at a guy's house i won a held-plank challenge by a solid minute. the party was over after that - he became exceedingly violent.
what i mean is that you can be perfect, and they still think you're ... lacking, somehow. i hope you understand i'm trying to express a neutral statement when i say: taylor swift was the possibly the most patriarchy-palatable, straight-down-the-line woman we could churn out. she is white, conventionally attractive, usually pretty mild in personality. say what you will about her (and you should, she's a billionaire, she can handle it), but a few things seem to be true about her: 1. she can write a damn catchy song, and 2. the eras tour truly was a massive commercial success and was also genuinely an impressive feat of human athleticism and performance.
i don't know if she deserves the title of "woman of the year," i'm not debating that in this post. what i am saying is that she was named Woman of The Year, and then an untalented man got onstage at the golden globes and made fun of her for attending her boyfriend's football games. what i am saying is that this woman altered local economies - and her dating life is still being made into a "harmless" punchline. the camera panned, greedy, over to her downing a full glass of champagne. congratulations taylor! you are woman of the year! but you are a woman. even her.
fuck, man. write better material.
a guy gets onstage at a college graduation and despite the fact like half the crowd is made up of women, he spends a significant proportion of it warning these people - who spent possibly hundreds of thousands of dollars on their education - that they were lied to. that the "real" meaning of femininity is motherhood. that they shouldn't rest on the laurels of that education-they-paid-for but instead throw it away to kneel at a man's heel. imagine that. sweating in your godawful polyester gown (that you also had to pay for!), fresh out of 4 years of pushing yourself ever-harder: and some guy you've never met - who knows nothing about you - he reminds you this "win" is a pyrrhic one at best. you really shouldn't consider yourself that extraordinary. you're still a woman, even after years of study.
god forbid you are not a pretty woman, but if you are pretty, you must be dumb. god forbid you are not ablebodied or white or cis or straight or good at swallowing. you must be beneath a man, or else they are not a man. the equation for masculinity seems to just be: that which is not a woman or womanly (god forbid). anything "feminine" is thereby anathema. to engage in "feminine" things such as therapy, getting a hug from a friend, or crying - it is giving up ones manhood. therefore women need to be put in their place to ensure that masculinity is protected.
this is something i have struggled to explain to terfs - they are not doing the work of feminism, but rather the patriarchy. by asserting that women and men must be (on some secret level) oppositional and in conflict, they also assume that being a woman is akin to being another species. but bigotry does not stem from observational truths or clarity - that is what makes it bigotry. there was nothing in my childhood that made me fundamentally different from my brother. we are treated differently nonetheless. to assert there is some biological drive that enforces my gender role is to assert that women have a gendered role. men do not see women as equal to them not because of biological reality - but instead because the core tenant of the patriarchy is that women aren't full, realized people.
we are told from a very young age to excuse misbehavior as a single man's choice - not all men. it is not all men, just that one guy. all women are gold-digging bitches who belong in the kitchen - but if a man is mean, bigoted, or violent to you, it's just that particular guy, and that means nothing about men-as-a-whole. it is only one guy who got mad when you gently rejected him. it is only one guy who warns her this trophy is heavy, are you sure you can hold it? it is only one guy who smashes her face into the cake. it is only one guy talking into a mic about hating our bodily autonomy.
i have just found that they often wait until the moment we actually seem to be upstaging them. you sit in a meeting where you're presenting your own findings and he says get me a coffee? or you run to the end of the marathon and are about to finish first and he pushes your kids out in front of you. you win the chess game and they make some comment akin to well, you're ugly away. we can be the billionaire and get the dream life and finally fucking do it and yet! still! they have this strange, visceral urge to say well actually, if you think you're so great -
it's not one just one guy. it's one in eight.
#posting my drafts#i want to stress im a taylor swift enjoyer. sorry.#also if someone wants to venmo me for the radfem hate i get daily i need like 60 bucks#someone stole my taylor swift official merch quarter zip :(#the point im specifically making in the tswift paragraphs i hope is clear which is like.#taylor is not threatening their ideas of masculinity or femininity. she is incredibly milquetoast. i mean i love her#but there's nothing about her that challenges the status quo. EXCEPT for her success.#and that's what pisses so many men off: the success.#so if THE VISION of white heteropatriarchy STILL is being treated this way.....#what do you think is happening to minority populations??#i just feel like be annoyed w/her about real things but being weird about her dating someone is like#soooooooooooooooooooooo fucking annoying. like ya know????#[said with the knowledge i need you to be soooo normal about how you interpret this entire piece and also these tags]
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🍉 Help my family 🍉
Hello, I am Fidaa and I am reaching out to you with a heavy heart on behalf of my family, a family of five people trapped in the devastating situation in Gaza. We are urgently seeking evacuation to Egypt after enduring more than 282 days of displacement and hardship. I am seeking to help us urgently and provide us with the minimum requirements. I never imagined that my loved ones would be caught in the crossfire of a conflict they were not part of. My husband had only one dream – to teach and take care of our children . The idea that their innocence has been marred by the horrors of war is too heavy a burden to bear. We face the harsh reality of conflict. The trauma inflicted on my children tears at my heart, and I am haunted by fear for their safety and well-being. To give you a glimpse into their daily struggle, they wake up to a relentless battle for survival after surviving deadly nights. For more than 200 days, we have been cooking on firewood due to the scarcity of cooking gas. The entire region lacks fuel for cars, making transportation almost impossible. Basic necessities, including medicines, are scarce, even for those with the means to purchase them. Humanitarian aid has barely reached areas in Khan Yunis that have not yet reached us. But I find myself in a very embarrassing situation. I have to go back and ask for help and rescue. You are my only hope. My family is struggling with genocide. I promised myself that I would do my best to convey their suffering and save them, even if it cost me death. My beloved family is the most precious thing in my existence, and I am very sad that we are still in the Gaza Strip, where we see all kinds of death I'm ashamed to ask you to help me save our lives. It was my wise way to save my children If someone donates $5 it will make a difference for us and help us because we need more. I don't want to lose my family, you are my only hope I love you because you were the source of my trust. I love you because you are truly wonderful. You are our hope always and forever. You also helped me save my family, the most precious thing in existence. I feel so embarrassed but I have rubbed salt in my wound and I have no one to save it but you
Your generosity will directly help save my family from death and rebuild our lives. Every donation, no matter the size, makes a big difference. Lend your hand and make a meaningful impact for us because we need you Donate on GoFundMe Every contribution, whether big or small, will directly help save my family's life ✓ Share this post and spread the word ⩥ Please share this campaign with your friends, family and colleagues to help us achieve our goal and evacuate my family safely . Your support means everything to me, and I am so grateful for any help you can provide during this difficult time. Your help means everything to us. For more details or questions, please contact me freely. Your kindness is a beacon of hope for our family. We thank you for your support and hope that better days will come.
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How did we cope with hunger in Gaza and not perish until now?
It’s a very strange topic to discuss in the twenty-first century.
Since the Israeli military war began, a more brutal war has been waged alongside it: the war for food.
I don’t know where to start, as I really don’t want to remember anything that happened to us, but it’s necessary to talk about it to benefit from our experience, may God spare you from similar situations.
As men, we are the first line of defense in our family army against the aggression of the hunger war.
The first situation I suffered from was five months into the war. It was a critical time when we had been without food or flour for nearly a month. We were living off what remained of our bodies' fat, some barley, and animal food.
It was a very cold night. Finally, we received a food ration from a charity, which was a bag of flour.
My family rejoiced and prayed, but I sat lamenting my fate. I saw how these rations were distributed; it was extremely chaotic. The queue, oh the queue! I swear the line stretched over 3 kilometers of people.
My turn was scheduled for nine o'clock the next morning. You can imagine that I had to leave at sunset that day to spend the night on the street to secure a place in the queue, otherwise, I wouldn’t receive anything.
I was overwhelmed by three pains:
The hell of children's hunger.
The hell of the queue and the cold.
And the hell of war.
By the way, the military war is nothing compared to what I mentioned above.
I indeed burdened myself with clothes, took my mattress to sleep on, and carried the water bottle for which I had stood in another queue to obtain.
I bid farewell to my family and left. I am Mahmoud, a computer engineer with soft skin. Imagine, my dear, imagine the fear that overwhelmed me.
I truly did not sleep and sat waiting for my turn until it finally came, and I received my ration. It was the most exhausting day of my life, but it became bearable when I returned to my family and found them eating.
My mother suggested a way to eat. Each of us would only get one loaf of bread throughout the day. She said: "Eat half of the meal you usually eat over a longer period. If you eat half a loaf for breakfast in 10 minutes, eat a quarter of a loaf in half an hour. The effect will be as if you ate half a loaf."
Indeed, the method was very, very effective.
The question for you:
What were you doing while people in Gaza were dying of hunger?
I have a donation campaign for my family if you are interested in helping your friend from Gaza. 👇
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adore you [k.s]
pairing: Ken Sato x Fem!Reader wc: 1.0k cw: n/a an: this was messy 3 am thoughts... bare with me pls my thoughts can be coherent if i try. lso not proofread tee hee. man i have too much free time wtf.
You knew Ken was lofty in his other form, for a lack of better words, but you had severely underestimated how tall he could truly get.
He was barely avoiding hitting the ceilings from the look of it, left awkwardly kneeling on the cold metal floor as Emi ran laps around him. You watched it go down from the safety of being near the elevator, wincing as he tousled with Emi, long arms outstretched in an attempt to grab her once again.
“Ken?” It was supposed to be a lot softer than it sounded, but the room was like an echo chamber, voice warping around the room rather loudly.
He immediately turned to you, bright pupils widening in recognition. Even Emi stopped, distracted by you as she hit and slid down Ken’s leg.
“Hi baby, when’d you get down here?” He moved a little closer, one hand on the floor and the other on his knee as he towered over you.
“Oh! It was only a couple moments ago, I just…” You faltered, your eyes meeting his glowing ones. You could’ve sworn he was further from you a moment ago.
You still weren’t used to his other form, rare occasions where you’d see it in person. He was much smaller and lithe on screen, but in real life it was so much more menacing. You tried not to shudder at the cold air drafting towards you.
“I just missed you, that’s all.” You placed a hand on the space between his eyes, petting the smooth metal. “It’s a bit stuffy up there, isn’t it?”
He didn’t respond to you or the concerned chirps from Emi as she moved closer to get a better look at you. It was only as Emi reached out to grab you that he pushed her back, unfurling his previously fisted hand in front of you.
“C’mere.”
“What?” You blinked, shying away a little as he pushed his open palm closer to you.
“I said c’mere baby,” He stated, tone rather teasing as he beckoned you forward, “Emi’s probably gonna get scared because she’s not that familiar with you, she might stomp you by accident if I leave you on the ground sitting around like that.”
Your heart raced a bit as you opened your mouth, drawing a blank as you reached out a hand and drew it back.
“Is this really safe?” He nodded earnestly, chuckling under his breath as he mimicked your question.
“Hey! I can still hear you y’know!” You fumed. He rolled his eyes, pushing the tip of his finger under your hand. “I know, but you ought to trust me more, don’t you think? I’m Ultraman and your boyfriend!”
You groaned, swayed by his playful persistence. "Fine… I’ll do it." you relented, warmth from his teasing spreading to your ears and neck.
“Come on, trust me, I promise I won't let anything happen to you," he reassured as you gingerly hauled yourself into his hand, wobbling for a couple moments on the uneven surface before you fell flat on his palm.
His pupils softened, surprisingly gentle as he held you, fingers closing on you slightly as he brought you closer to his face. That didn’t stop you from digging your nails into his relatively warm skin, breathing unevenly.
"There you go, attagirl," he murmured, unfurling his fingers for you to get a better view of everything. "See? ‘S perfectly safe. Nothing’s gonna happen if you move."
You couldn’t really bring yourself to move, instead choosing to cling to one of his fingers, halfheartedly eyeing the gap through which you could see Emi playing with one of his cars. He was clearly getting a kick out of it, pupils glowing in the dim light as he poked a finger at you affectionately.
“I don’t know how anyone can do this so easily,” You sighed, pushing the tip of his finger to the as he giggled at your predicament, “This makes me lowkey nauseous, everything looks so small from up here.”
“Everything seems small from up here baby,” He replied. You could almost imagine the face he was making under the mask. Smirking, perhaps, but still as charming as the day you met him.
“Maybe it’s just you getting big,” You shot back playfully, a smirk tugging at your lips as you teased him. Ken’s laugh shook you, and you fell down again with an umph.
“Watch it,” he retorted with mock seriousness, “I might just have to charge you for the free ride you just caught with me.” You rolled your eyes. “Oh please,” you snarked, feigning offense at the suggestion as you pushed yourself back up, “You’d end up paying for that one way or another.”
“I wouldn’t be opposed to that.” He flirted back, and the edge you’d been on slowly melted away as he laughed. He leaned in closer, his voice low and teasing. "In fact, I'd gladly pay the price for having you close to me like this."
“Uh uh,” You cackled, interrupting him by landing a kiss on his cheek, “Getting a little suspicious there, Ultraman, keep it pg! There’s a child in the room!”
"You're too much," He murmured, “Too much, baby.”
"Can't help it," you replied, leaning back against his finger for support, “You’re just so unserious sometimes.”
“It's a talent," He shrugged, "But seriously, are you okay up here? Not too dizzy? I’ll bring you back down if you want."
You nodded, feeling more settled now. "I'm good, it’s not so drafty up here."
“You know, I like having you in my hand like this. You’re like a speck of dust, feels like you’ll basically disappear any second now." He cocked his head, the look of a lost puppy ever clearer in his eyes.
“Don’t worry cowboy,” You patted his thumb affectionately, watching as Emi clambered up his leg and failed, only to try again. “You’d make a pretty good giant, if I do say so myself. I wouldn’t mind hanging out more with you like this."
“Is this a date?” He asked, obviously surprised by the move you made on him.
“If you want it to be.” You answered distractedly, clapping as Emi tried to show you the car in her hand.
“I think i’d like that,” He replied back quietly, even if you hadn’t heard him, distracted by the baby. “I’d think so, baby.”
#ken sato imagine#kenji sato x reader#ken sato x reader#ken sato ultraman#kenji sato x you#ken sato#ken sato smut#ken sato x you#ken sato x y/n#kenji sato#kenji sato x y/n#kenji sato fluff#kenji sato smut#ultraman x reader#ultraman rising x reader#ultraman rising imagine#ultraman rising#ultraman rising netflix#ultraman netflix
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THE 3D DOES NOT FUCKING EXIST.
the 3d is 100% irrelevant. shadow? mirror? delay? FUCK THAT BRO it doesnt even exist! the onlyyy power it has is the one you give it.
you think you fell off? till now u were affirming and persisting but something horrible happened in your 3d and now everything sucks again? congratulations, it doesnt matter, cuz you still have it. you still have your desire.
you fucked up? you have doubts? you start looking at the 3d for validation? congratulations. doesnt matter. I still have what i want.
you felt negatively? you acknowledged the lack of ur desire? you thought whyy is it not here yet? congratulations. doesnt fucking matter at all. i already have it.
spiral. go ahead and cry and whine and have doubts and question if this is real or not. hate everything and feel like shit. doesnt matter baby, YOU STILLLL HAVE WHAT YOU WANT!!!
when we say the 3d doesnt matter. it truly doesnt. the only meaning the 3d has is the meaning we give it.
i felt like i fell off, the month changed and my 3d didnt so i started wondering where is it, why dont i have it, am i doing something wrong, then the intrusive thoughts follow “what if its not real” “omg am i just wasting my time” “what if i dont get it” “what will i do now” you know what i did? i gave myself the biggest smile and told myself….it doesnt matter sam, my love. you still have it. and i dooo. i still do.
you have to understand that this disgusting ass stinky crappy old 3d which is literally a graveyard, an absolute shitshow that does not have anything to do with us, its all the past, its all dead, so it doesnt matter how i react, when i know i have it in my god state, aka my imagination, aka the only true reality, aka the only reality that matters at all.
so you cann spiral. you can fuck up. my god you can have a mental fucking breakdown and ur 3d could turn into absolute shit and ur sp can hate u and ur dad could get cancer and a tsunami could come and world war 3 can start…IT DOESNT FUCKING MATTER!!!! IT HAS NOOOO EFFECT AT ALLL.
take ur power back. literally announce that no matter what this old dead reality shows u, ur life could go to complete shit, trust me that doesn’t matter when fulfillment is present in your heart. ur only job is to have it. stop reacting. stop stop stop reacting and start having, thats where all your power lies and thats the way to pure fulfillment.
-love, samu <3
#law of assumption#law of attraction#desired reality#shifting realities#reality shift#shiftblr#reality shifting#shifting#shifting antis dni#shifting community#manifestation#manifesting#law of manifestation#master manifestor#neville goddard#living in the end#23/5/24
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My guide to˚⊹.⋆𝄞⨾𓍢ִ໋. romanticising life ⋆.ೃ࿔*
Life is truly the most important gift of all and I feel like too many people don't actually take it seriously enough or are just afraid of what anybody else might say if they choose to live the way they have always wanted to. Wasting the only opportunity to cherish this gift of life that we have been blessed with is the worst thing you could ever do for yourself. Imagine yourself 40 years from now, regretting that you wasted your teenage and adulthood years worrying about your looks, not enjoying good food, not taking care of yourself or being too careful of your budget and never getting the things you truly wanted. That's surely NOT how I'd like to spend my old age, and my ultimate goal is to think back and be happy that I lived my life exactly the way I wanted!
Romanticising life is all about turning every. little. moment. into something that makes YOU happy, no matter what society might think about it. It's a form of self expression that I fondly believe can help you become happy and at peace with your own self.
Here are some ways to romanticise your life:
ׂ╰┈➤ Stop consuming harmful media. Tiktok, for example, is such a bad place for your mental health and is constantly ruining your attention span and productivity, image of self but, most importantly, your HEALTH AND BEAUTY STANDARDS. It is also one of the causes of many mental health problems such as depression, eds, self h@rming or negative addictions, so try and avoid harmful social media as much as possible.
ׂ╰┈➤ Establish a morning and night routine. I promise this will make you feel so productive and in control of your life. Nothing fancy is necessary, just basic hygiene and skincare, having breakfast, maybe reading or journaling to wind down at night.
ׂ╰┈➤ Consistently work out. "Well Lynna how am I supposed to work out if you said to enjoy life??" Enjoying does not mean that you shouldn't take care of your body too. Find what works best for you and what makes you happy, don't jump into the youtube advanced workouts and then complain that you hate moving your body. Yoga and walks are such a good place to start, or 10 minute workouts a few times per week will make such a difference in both your mind and body. With just a bit of discipline and consistency you will start to love working out and move your body and tend to do it out of habit.
ׂ╰┈➤ Take yourself out for coffee or a pastry! Solo dates can be just as fun as normal ones.
ׂ╰┈➤ Spend more time with family and friends. Humans will not be with you forever and enjoying every moment with them is such an important thing in life.
ׂ╰┈➤ Buy pretty pajamas, light a candle, take long bubble baths, do a face mask, listen to calm music, read, paint, express yourself in any way you want.
ׂ╰┈➤ Clean your environment and surround yourself with the colors and furniture that you love.
ׂ╰┈➤ Dress the way you want to, not how everybody expects you to.
ׂ╰┈➤ Always try new things: that yoga class you heard from your friend, a new pastry that looked so good in the shop window, some book you saw online.
ׂ╰┈➤ Be open minded and present in your life. Live in the present and you will become happy with your past and future.
Although aesthetics do play a big part in romanticising, you can do it without spending a lot of money, effort or time. The need of making everything "aesthetic" is just as consuming and bad for you as not doing anything at all.
Learn to enjoy and cherish every little moment and that will bring you on the path of happiness. Please take good care of yourself, good luck on your wellness journey and thank you so much for reading this post!!
Love, L
#romantizing life#romanticise your life#girl diary#self love#wellness girl#becoming that girl#that girl aesthetic#it girl aesthetic#self improvement#self development#healthylifestyle#healthy girl#health and wellness#wellnessjourney#dream girl#dream girl journey#pink pilates princess#pink blog#pink aesthetic#pink pilates girl#pilates princess#clean girl aesthetic#glow up#this is a girlblog#female hysteria#feminism#girlblogging#girlhood#this is what makes us girls#girlblog
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Your Declan fic was SO good. That’s how u discovered your account and I can’t wait for the other Rivals fics you have coming up!!!
If you are still taking requests, I would die for protective Declan O’Hara in any situation. Love your stuff!!
man of the hour.
the sexiest thing about a man is his moustache morals.
declan o’hara x female reader
warnings - cursing. a little violence and a quick injury description.
word count - 2k
authors note - I truly believe that one of the sexiest things about declan is the fact that he stands up for what he believes in… don’t underestimate the aphrodisiac powers of strong morals, ladies and gents. need him to stand up for me sometime🧎♀️➡️. anyway this ended up much softer than I meant it to be (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing) <3
masterlist. inbox.
“Can I get you another drink?”
You laugh as the man swings an arm around your shoulders, the heavy weight of it almost taking you down.
“You’ve asked me that four times in the last five minutes, Bas. Thank you, though.”
“Just want to make sure you’re having a good time.”
He’s yelling into your ear, both of you fighting to raise your voices above the noise of Bar Sinister.
“I’m always having a good time with you,” you tease, leaning into his side. “I’m alright, Bas. Promise.”
“You need to let loose for once in your life.”
“I’ll let loose on a day I’m not working.”
“You’re always working.”
“What can I say? He’s hard fucking work.”
You both look over to your boss, who’s currently animatedly telling Declan a story. Rupert’s gesturing so exaggeratedly that people are ducking out of the way, both men laughing and completely oblivious as beer and whiskey splash all over the floor.
Bas presses a kiss into your hair, squeezing you tightly.
“I don’t know what he’d do without you.”
“Well, he never has to find out. We’re stuck with each other,” you chuckle. “Best job I’ve ever had, surprisingly.”
“I won’t tell him you said that,” Bas winks, laughing.
The sound of multiple glasses smashing has the both of you whipping your heads around, trying to find the source of the commotion.
“Shit. I’ll see you later, darling. Come and find me if you need anything, yeah?”
“Course.”
Bas disappears into the bustling crowd, leaving you standing at the bar. It’s absolutely manic, people packed in to the rafters and bumping into each other left, right and centre.
You’re about to make your way over to Rupert when a hand wraps around your wrist, pulling you backwards so hard that you stumble over your own feet. You tug your arm away, finally getting a good look at the person who’s responsible.
“Spencer?”
“Oh, so you do remember me then?”
“… What? We were together for six months, and I don’t have short term memory loss, so… yes.”
“I just meant because you’re hanging around with the elite now. The rumour is that you’re working for Rupert Campbell Black.”
“I am working for Rupert Campbell Black. It’s not a secret, Spencer. I’m his aide and assistant. I’m working for Venturer, too, helping with their public relations. And you are… what? Still pretending to work for your father when you really just spend your days drinking and betting?”
“I do work for my father.”
“Of course you do.”
He steps forward, getting into your personal space.
“What are you doing in here, Spencer? You don’t even live in Rutshire.”
“Thought I’d pop in, see if you were here. Wanted to see if there was any truth to the rumours.”
“Well, you’ve put the rumours to bed now, haven’t you?”
“Not the only thing that’s been put to bed,” he murmurs, just low enough so you only catch half of it.
“Pardon me?”
Your entire body is taut with tension, nerves alert and heart racing. You can only imagine how uncomfortable you must look, praying that someone notices sooner rather than later.
“Which one are you sleeping with, then?”
“Spencer-”
“No, come on. You finished things with me, so there must be another man. Who is it?”
“I’m finished things with you - eight months ago, mind you - because you’re an immature prick who’s so pretentious it makes you deeply unlikeable. There was no other man, I’d just rather be single than be with you.”
His chest puffs out as he starts to go red with rage, anger bubbling up in his veins. You know that you’re not completely unsafe here in this room full of people, but that doesn’t calm your anxiety in the slightest.
“Which one is it, hmm?” his voice is raising, getting louder with every passing minute. “Which one looks like your type?”
He points at Seb first, quirking an eyebrow.
“Him?”
When you don’t respond, he moves on to pointing at Patrick.
“Him?”
You shake your head almost imperceptibly, wishing that the ground would swallow you up.
“Oh my god… it’s him, isn’t it?”
His eyes have landed on Rupert, who’s still stood across the room. Your boss is looking at you, now, quickly assessing the situation you’re in.
“You’re fucking Rupert Campbell Black?!”
The entire crowd of people goes silent as he practically screams it, everyone’s heads turning to look at you.
“She’s… what?” Rupert, Declan and Bas all ask at the exact same time, hilariously in sync.
“Fucked your way up to the top, did you? Classy as always.”
Spencer goes to continue his sentence, but hits the floor suddenly with a heavy thud. You look up to see Declan shaking off his hand, chest heaving with adrenaline. Your ex boyfriend has a busted lip, blood dripping down his chin and onto his awfully unflattering shirt.
“It’s called hard work, you arrogant little prick. Not that you’d know.”
Declan’s Irish accent sounds stronger than usual, coloured with fury and aggression. Bas has dragged Spencer to his feet, both him and Rupert holding him upright.
“If I ever catch you anywhere near here again, I’ll do more than just split your fucking lip. You understand?”
Spencer nods, clearly still dizzy from the impact of the punch. He’s dragged outside before anyone can say anything else, the crowd returning back to their drinks as if nothing ever happened.
“Come on, sweetheart.”
Declan links his fingers with yours before you can register what’s happening, pulling you through the bar and out of the back door. You take a seat on the brick wall, legs dangling over the edge as you kick your feet.
“You okay?” he asks as he sits down next to you, just close enough that you can feel his body heat.
“I’m fine.”
“Sure?”
“I’m sure.”
You don’t really know how to feel, confused by the whole ordeal.
“He seems like a nice boy.”
You laugh suddenly at the bad joke, shaking your head as Declan laughs with you. It’s not a sound you hear from him all that often.
“Sorry you had to punch him.”
“I didn’t have to. Kinda wanted to, though.”
“Me too.”
He bumps his shoulder into yours, looking at you carefully.
“I didn’t just hit him for a laugh, you know. I was worried he was going to hurt ya.”
“I was too,” you whisper, vulnerability bleeding into your tone.
“I’d never of let that happen. I promise, sweetheart.”
His hand finds yours again, fingers gently sliding in between yours. He rests your intertwined hands on his thigh, thumb rubbing patterns on your skin.
“Thank you.”
“Of course.”
You sit in silence for a long moment, enjoying the way the warmth of his palm seeps slowly into yours.
“I didn’t think anyone had even noticed Spencer was there.”
“I saw as soon as he walked in, because I knew I didn’t recognise him. I tried to give you some space, thought maybe you were friends or something. Didn’t want to intervene and embarrass ya.”
“Ex boyfriend, if you haven’t already guessed. We were only together about six months all in all, about eight months ago. Don’t know what I was thinking, really. He’s fucking awful.”
“You can say that again,” he chuckles, hand squeezing yours. “Not sure what you ever saw in him.”
“Neither am I, anymore. I don’t know, maybe I just liked having someone really like me, as sad as that sounds. Dating is fun and exciting and… well, it’s supposed to be. God knows it isn’t, for me.”
Declan slides his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side to keep the evening chill at bay. You can hear the ruckus from inside, everyone in the bar carrying on as usual.
“I think you just keep choosing the wrong men, darlin’. Don’t swear off dating just because of a few bad apples.”
“I mean, I haven’t dated anyone since Spencer, and that finished eight months ago. I’d rather stay single than date any more of these posh boys who’ve never worked a day in their lives.”
He laughs, and the vibrations of it rumble through the both of you, settling into your bones. All you can think about is how warm he is and how good he smells and how if you leaned in an inch to your left, you could kiss him right on the cheek.
“What if it’s me?” you can’t help but ask quietly. “What if I’m the reason I can’t find someone?”
“What?”
“I mean, I work for Rupert - which I love - but my job is my life now. He’s a handful as it is, and now with all the Venturer stuff… all I do is work. And I know I’m not pretty like Taggie or powerful and bossy like Cameron but-”
“You’re beautiful.”
Declan stops you in your tracks, his interruption derailing your train of thought completely.
“I- what?”
“Sweetheart, the only reason I noticed that prat Spencer earlier was because I was already looking at you.”
“You were?”
“I always am.”
“… Why?”
“I don’t know, exactly. It’s like this… gravitational pull. You light up a room.”
“That’s a bit dramatic,” you chuckle nervously.
“I wish it was.”
You don’t know what to say, so you lean further into his side, resting your head on his broad shoulder and breathing him in.
“I would have said something sooner,” he murmurs, “but Rupert would fucking kill me.”
“He’s not my keeper, Declan.”
“No, but he’s your boss. And for all intents and purposes, your big brother.”
He rests his head atop of yours, pressing a kiss into your hair.
“How’s your hand?”
“Perfectly fine,” he laughs, squeezing your thigh. “I’ll make a full recovery.”
“Thank God for that.”
Declan turns his body so he can look at you properly, big hands coming up to cradle your face. Neither of you say anything, waiting with tense anticipation for the other person to move first.
You surprise yourself by leaning in and planting a kiss on his lips, chaste and testing the waters. You begin to overthink everything the minute you pull back, worried that you’ve misread his kindness. As if he can read your mind, he tangles a hand into your hair and tugs you back into him, kissing you with a passion you’ve never experienced before.
His tongue slips into your mouth cheekily as you let him take the lead, happy to surrender the control to him. You’ve dreamt about this, late nights in bed spent wondering if the real thing would live up to your imagination. It definitely does.
Eventually, you both pull away, panting and flushed. You can no longer feel the chill in the air, the warmth of Declan keeping the cold at bay.
“Don’t tell Rupert,” he whispers, dirty smirk written across his face.
You can’t help but laugh, giddy off of the weight of the moment. Before tonight, you’d begun to accept that you might have been slightly delusional when it came to Declan - reading into his fingers brushing yours when you handed him something, him winking at you across the room, his palm pressing into your back as he walked past. Now you know - it wasn’t delusion. They were signals.
“Wouldn’t dream of it. Secret’s safe with me.”
He pecks your lips again quickly before standing up, outstretching his hands for you to grab so he can pull you with him.
“You wanna go back inside?”
“No, think I’m done for the night.”
“Will you let me walk you home?”
You look at him smiling down at you all soft and sweet, and realise instantly that you’re in trouble. This isn’t something either of you are going to be able to just brush past. This’ll be haunting both of your memories every single day until it happens again.
“I’d like that.”
“Come on then, sweetheart. Lead the way.”
Declan links his fingers with yours, happy to let you steer him in the right direction. Neither of you say much. You don’t need to.
The way his palm fits perfectly against yours tells you both everything you need to know.
@lostinthefandoms11 @prettycoolgirl @buzzcutlip
don’t make me give the reblogs are invaluable to your writers speech again… i’ve given it one too many times… but you know the deal… reblog if you enjoyed and I shall write more for you <3
#declan o’hara#declan o’hara fluff#declan o’hara x reader#declan o’hara imagine#declan o’hara smut#declan o’hara x reader smut#declan o’hara x reader fluff#rivals smut#rivals x reader#rivals x reader smut#declan o’hara x you#declan o’hara x female reader#rivals fanfiction#rivals fic#rivals imagine#rivals 2024#aidan turner#rupert campbell black#rupert campbell black x reader#rupert campbell black imagine
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Tormented Spirit | 7
Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
"Is it such a sin to stand up for yourself?" you mutter as tears blur your vision. The way he reacted was visceral, instinctive even. "You never have to stand up for yourself ever again," says Daemon, reaching a hand to you, "come."
Daemon Targaryen x Hightower!Reader | 5k+ | cw: fem!reader, reader has brown hair, wife!reader, twin!Gwayne, arranged/forced marriage, canon divergence, alternate universe, slow burn, smut (cunnilingus, piv, choking, degradation, slight sadism), DD:DNE, panic/anxiety attacks, daddy issues/child abuse/family problems, mentions/depictions of mental/physical/psychosomatic illness, ye old misogyny, angst, typos, etc.
A/N: again the high valyrian is internet translated so lol. please consider leaving comments/reblogs because they really help me with the fic. might make another poll for next chapter stay tuned. | cross posted on ao3
@arabellasleopardcoat
Taking you to the hidden stream was simultaneously the best and worst decision Erryk's ever made in his life. The look of you was holy. His intense focus on your form was to ensure your safety, but, by the gods, it felt sinful to behold your dark hair and light fabric ebbing in the water.
He had hoped a swim would lift your spirits, just as flower picking did, but he did not know it would draw such a tempest out of you. It was as though you were reborn. You plunged into the water and shed all your inhibitions. Your voice became brighter, as did your eyes. You were flooded with more than a dozen memories of you and your twin swimming in the river near your home in Oldtown, and you recounted all of them so excitedly to Erryk.
"Oh!' you exclaim, flipping in the water to get to your feet. You point to something behind your ward, making him turn around. In that split second, you hold in your laughter and grab something from the mossy rocks. Innocently, you say, "that reminds me of something."
Erryk turns back to you, brows knit in confusion. When you you make your way towards him, he clenches his jaw and averts his gaze. The shift you were swimming in was stuck flush on your body, leaving little to his imagination. He was glad to have the foresight to bring you a change of clothes and a towel, and, my, was the pattern on the said towel so very interesting.
"What is a frogs favorite game?" you ask so suddenly.
Erryk turns to you, brows furrowing, "pardon?"
"Tell me the frogs' favorite game, ser," you repeat as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Frogs favored game?" he repeats slowly, realizing now that your expression was mockingly innocent. He hums, "I cannot say I-"
"HOPSCOTCH!"
A frog comes leaping into Erryk's face, nearly causing him to topple as he dodges it. He's so flabbergasted by the turn of events, he calls out your name in offence. He is doubly offended by your laughter. His eyes go wide as you hunch forward, leaning on your knees.
"Villain," your ward mutters, scoffing far too many times.
You can barely catch your breath. You fan your face, "frog-ive me."
Erryk's face only contorts further.
"I could not-" you gasp for air, "could not help it."
In truth, if it was any other who did such a childish thing, he'd have shoved them in the water. Alas, you appeared only more beauteous as you made him a fool.
"Forgive me," you repeat in more serious manner, "Gwayne used to scare me this way often. I wished only to know how it felt, and now..." you giggle, "I can't say I blame my brother for constantly pulling tricks on me."
He huffs and shakes his head, "well. I'm glad to have pleased you, my ever-so-kind princess."
You offer him a guilty smile, "apologies."
Erryk shakes his head, "no. Truly. I am glad to see you in such a state."
You fidget with your fingers as a shiver runs down your spine.
He is quick to unravel your towel. He places it on your shoulders, "perhaps we should go back. The sunset is nigh."
You nod, taking your change of clothes from him next.
He turns around offering you your privacy. It takes a while, but you manage to dress yourself. Once you had your shoes on, you dry your hair with your towel and take his arm, "would you please lace up my dress?"
He nods, avoiding your gaze as he feels his face burn. He quickly laces you up then you return to the Keep.
You both had been laughing, up until you made it past the castle gates, promptly being silenced by the loud shout, "PRINCESS!"
Arryk runs over, charging for his brother. Their steel plates collide as Arryk yanks his twin, "where in gods name did you take her?"
Erryk furrows his brows, "we visited a stream-"
"The Keep is in disarray!" Arryk grits his teeth, hissing under his breath, "everyone's looking for her. Everyone."
You watch the twins huddle close and bicker. As it escalates, you try try to come between them, "Arryk. I was the one who asked him to take me outside the keep."
Arryk does not hear you at first, dead set on arguing with his twin. When you repeat your words the second time however, he turns to you, face softening a fraction. He knits his brows turning back to this brother, whispering something that makes Erryk turn to you with wide eyes, "fuck."
"Why?" you look at them in concern, "what it is?"
Arryk opens his mouth, but Erryk grabs his arm and says, "wait."
"There's no other way to say it," Arryk snaps, ripping his arm out his grip.
"Say what?" you knit your brows.
Arryk turns back to you, then lowers his gaze, "the queen... the queen has passed."
Your jaw drops. Your eyes widen. Your hand immediately covers your mouth. The three of you do not speak for a prolonged moment.
You feel your stomach roll, "w-what happened?"
"She could not deliver the babe herself. The maesters... had to intervene."
Intervene? You could not possibly understand what that could mean, and you find that you do not want to. You shake your head, "and her babe? Is- is her babe well at least?"
Arryk clenches his jaw, "she sired a prince named Baelon... he apparently grows weaker by the hour."
You feel bile rise up your throat.
"Your father and your siblings have been looking for you since news broke."
You shake your head, and gather your skirts.
"As has the prince."
Your face twitches at the thought. You do not delay and make your way inside the Keep.
As you tread the halls, you think about what the queen told you just mere hours ago. There is a sharp twinge in your belly as simultaneously remember how Aemma told you to go cheer for Daemon at the tourney and realize you will never hear a word from her ever again. The thought washes over you like water on the beach, sobering but thankfully not overwhelming.
You hadn't realized you had your head bowed until you hear your name called. You still as you look up, the twins halt behind you.
Otto marches over, brows and jaw tight as ever, "where in gods name have you been?"
You straighten your back as he stops before you, "I-"
"Your wards are double," he turns to the kingsguards, "and doubly useless, it seems."
"Father," you step into his line of sight, "do relieve your rage on them."
Your father turns back to you, expression softening a fraction at your referral. You had not called him father since your argument in the maester's office. He looks at you— takes a good look at you and your sad eyes, your knit brows, your frowning lips. Your hair was darker than it was normally, and as he reaches out for it, he found it was, in fact, damp, "where have you been?"
"I..." you gulp and take a deep breath, "went swimming."
He releases your hair, tilting his head, "with whom? Gwayne has gone."
You pull your head back, "G-Gwayne's gone?"
"The tourney is over. The road is long. He has no reason to stay," Otto says.
Your brows tighten as you shake your head, "he... he didn't... wait for me?"
Otto watches your lips quiver. He watches your nose twitch. When your chest begins to visibly rise and fall, he shakes his head, "what did I tell you?"
You stare blankly at him.
He takes your hands, "what is it I always tell you?"
You clench your jaw and huff through your nostrils, "do not waste your tears on things you cannot change."
Otto rubs your knuckles as he shakes his head again. He gives the Cargyll brothers a look before walking off with you. They make sure to keep their distance before following after.
You turn to your father as he links your arm into his. You are certain, with how he cannot look at you, that he means to tell you something grave. You look front and mimic his demeanor— distant, cold. You are his daughter, face and temperance.
"You enjoyed your swim at least?" he starts, "you are calm?"
You gulp, mentally preparing yourself for what will surely come next. Your voice still falters though, "ye-s."
Otto nods, still not turning to you, "many has occurred since your marriage to Daemon. You admitted you did not consummate your marriage on your wedding night and I was deeply concerned you would fail your duties in producing heirs, especially if your husband was not interested in you."
Your jaw clenches.
"But with the apparent... change of heart your husband has shown, you should know I've had the maesters closely monitor your state."
You knit your brows at that, "you mean my affliction?"
He speaks your name slowly before continuing, "as of yesterday, they have confirmed to me that you are with child."
You whip your head to him and pull away.
Otto does not look at you with the same sense of urgency.
"W-what?"
He sees the fear on your features. He offers a solemn expression and takes your cheeks when your eyes water, "this is good. You should delight, not tremble."
You try to speak but nothing coherent comes out.
"The Queen is dead. Go to your husband and comfort him with this news."
Your mouth goes dry and your father wipes the tears that fall from your eyes. He your name softly. Your sad face looks the exact same it did when his wife died. My baby is having a baby. He frowns and pulls away.
You try to take his hand, but he slips away.
"See her off," the Hand instructs your wards.
Erryk is quick to go to your side, whereas Arryk stares at the back of Otto's head, his lips curling as he did.
"Princess," Erryk says, cautiously reaching your arm.
You turn to him with wide eyes before scratching your tears away, "I-"
"Perhaps you should sit down first."
You pull away from him before he can touch you. The action makes Erryk pull back, an unsavory sensation spreading in his mouth and belly.
"I want to- I—" you take a breath, "I need to find-" you shake your head and begin speeding down the hall.
You were nearly about to break into a sprint, and your wards had to jog up to your side to keep up with you. You don't really know where you're going, but you're getting there, fast.
"Princess, please, slow down," one says.
You can feel your breath and your pulse in your ears.
"Princess."
You find yourself in the halls near one of the gate of the keep. The only reason why you stop is because you hear the voice of your twin. Your breath catches as you lurch towards the window. Gwayne was laughing with one of the guards, already on his horse. Your brows furrow, he couldn't possibly be well enough to be riding on horseback.
You realize quickly this is your last opportunity to go be with your brother, to pull him into an embrace, to worry on him, to tell him your worries, to kiss him goodbye. You know you have to act now and swiftly, but you cannot seem to move.
Your mind is heavy as you think about how your brother is set to leave regardless of your desire to keep close; he said it himself, his place can never be at your side. Though he is the only person who've ever relied on, you know now— you rub your belly, that can no longer be the case. There is only one person you can rely on now... yourself.
It is painful to pull away from the window, but you do, clenching your hands into fists before walking away.
You don't really walk away however, because then, you're frozen in place at the sight of your husband standing a few paces away from you, "Daemon."
He stares at you wordlessly.
You walk towards him, careful as you drag your feet.
He tilts his head and clenches his jaw, "he's leaving any moment now."
You nod, "I know."
"Go to him," he says softly.
"I-"
"Go to him!" he snaps.
You stiffen at his expression. You were adept with anger but he did not look angry. You stop in your tracks, trying to make sense of his restless figure.
Daemon watches you fidget with your fingers.
"If it is your command, I shall obey."
He chuckles dryly, pacing around his spot. He wipes his mouth then charges over, stopping just in front of you. He scoffs when you do not flinch, in disbelief of your constitution. His nostrils flare, "you know my feelings towards your twin."
You slowly shrug, "then you'll be glad to know I came looking for you."
Daemon does not move.
"You know how I feel about my brother..." you mutter, "but..." you lower your gaze, "I'm coming to terms with the fact I can no longer rely on him... it will be better this way."
It takes a moment, but Daemon chuckles. When you look up and his smirk fades. Your beady eyes make it hard to find satisfaction. "So, you will not go to him?" he asks.
You stare.
"You do not want to go to him?"
Your lips part.
He raises his brows.
"I... I do."
Anger rises up his belly, but as if on cue, the sound of horses and carriages moving is heard. You clench your jaw and lower you gaze to prevent yourself from looking back at the window. The prince cannot seem to win, for he should be pleased you did not see your brother off, and yet your sadness leaves sour jealousy in his mouth— he was your husband.
The Cargyll twins look upon you both, appalled by the cruelty of the prince to keep you here as Gwayne leaves for good. Erryk in particular feels restless, unable to stop shifting and fidgeting with his scabbard.
"Shall... shall we go?" you mutter, slowly looking up.
Daemon watches you place a hand on his bicep. He responds only by following you after giving your wards a dismissive look.
The brothers turn to each other, each as unwilling as the other to leave you, but they do anyway.
Daemon is acutely aware of the warmth of your cheek against his arm as you tread down the halls. When, you arrive at your marriage chambers, Daemon opens the door and you notice the bandage wrapped around his hand. He struggles because of this. Once you're inside, you take his arm, eyes trained on his injury, "what happened to your hand?"
Daemon's eyes are fixed on the line between your brows.
"Did you break it?" you turn to him with furrowed eyes.
He pulls away slowly. He wants to know what you'd do next.
"Did you wrap it yourself? It's badly done."
He faintly snorts, "it's on my right hand."
"I'll do it for you," you say, walking towards the vanity.
Daemon follows, watching you procure scissors and vials and other things. You turn to him, motioning to the chair. He sits down, gaze fixed upon you as you take his arm again.
Your eyes are focused on undoing his wrap, "tell me if it hurts,"
His are fixed on your focused expression, "you should sit down."
"I'm fine."
"I want you to sit down," he uses his other hand to grab your wrist.
You stop and turn to him. You turn to the chair across the room but Daemon prevents you from doing so and simply spreads legs, pulling you between his thighs. Quickly, you are sat on his lap and tense look at him. He offers you his injured hand again as his other goes around you, clinging to your hip. He pulls you in, leaning his head against yours to say, "it's a cut, by the way."
You furrow your brows at his admission. You allow yourself a moment to relax before continuing your task. You find it is, in fact, a cut, deep and ugly, "did your lance splinter very badly?"
"No."
You furrow your brows deeper as you turn to him,
"This is glass."
"Glass?" you brow raise, "how did you hurt your hand with glass?"
Daemon licks his lips as he looks at yours. He shrugs, "I broke a bottle."
You pull your head back, "on accident?"
"On purpose," he tilts his head.
You huff and start cleaning his wound, "was the violence in the tourney insufficient?"
He chuckles through his nostrils, "I did not fucking win."
You smear balm on his wound. You do not reply.
It makes him clench his jaw, "and you..."
"..."
"You were not there."
You do not tear your gaze from his injury.
He grumbles, "did you even hear me?"
You lift your gaze then raise brow at him, "you did not want me there. Do you not recall how you cursed at me?"
Your gall makes anger rise up his throat.
You continue wrapping up his hand.
"Well, you were being a bitch," he snaps.
"Why?"
His brows furrow.
"Why was I being a bitch?"
"..."
You spare him a quick glace.
He pulls his head back, "... what?"
"Did I not do my duty?" you turn to him, face blank, "I followed you, congratulated you, inquired of your injuries. I submitted to your desires. Where did I err?" You ask in earnest, "what do you want from me?"
His face contorts. Now that he was faced with such an opportunity, he finds himself unable to speak. What did he want from you?
You wait for him to reply. You prepare yourself for preposterous requirements but you are met only his silence. In that moment, you remember he was just a man. Many a man enjoyed making women suffer. You gulp, thinking about your father.
Perhaps your father was lying. Perhaps he wants you to believe you are with child to get even. After all, Daemon never... finished in you. How then could you be with child?
You secure the binding on his hand, "it is finished."
Daemon does not bother looking at his hand.
"How do you feel?"
He feels a strong urge to shake you... to pull you close.
"My deepest sympathies for the death of your cousin."
He freezes. Right. The queen was dead. He lowers his gaze.
You frown and reach for his cheek. You second guess however and bring your palm to his shoulder instead, "I am here for you, my prince."
His eyes meet yours.
"I am here to care and comfort you."
He leans back, taken by the thought.
You drink in his demeanor, the softness in his eyes, the tension that falls of his shoulders. You release a breath, "if that is what you desire, speak plainly, and do not repel me. Do not ask me to leave if, in fact, you want me to stay."
His throat tightens. He feels like he is ensnared in a bear trap. He rips at his collar, "I... I have other injuries." He pushes you off and paces around as he undoes his top. It is a struggle for him, but he cannot stop or stay still, "cuts and bruises."
You watch as he fidgets and slowly walk over.
"I don't-"
"Daemon."
He stills.
You come in front of him and undo his top yourself. You drop it mindlessly, and once he is bare, he feels conscious under your scrutiny for some reason. You brush your fingers on his ribs, making goosebumps form on his skin. He can't say that that has ever happened to him before. You notice and rub his arms, eyes locked on his torso.
He feels himself getting hard.
"Did you tend to these yourself as well?" you brush over a cut on his hip.
Oh. You were still examining him. He only hums in response.
You frown, "did no maester come to your tent?"
"I..." he starts.
You circle around him, inspecting for other injuries.
"...wanted you to come to my tent."
You come to his side. He finds the frown on your face. You take a moment before saying, "you tended to your wounds well at least."
"I want you."
You nod, "I will tend to you—"
Daemon takes your nape, lowering his head to kiss your lips. It takes a moment for you to relax, and his belly burns at the sound you make when you do. Your hands come to his sides and your nails graze faintly into his flesh.
He pushes you back until your laid on the bed beneath him. His kisses trail down your skin as he works to get you naked. He kisses your shoulder, then your sternum. He makes sure to lick your breast and leave a mark on your rib before peppering kisses down your belly.
Your breath grows heavy when he lingers by your womb, sucking kisses on your skin. Your throat tightens think of your father's words again. It makes you tense, and Daemon feels it. Of course, he doesn't know about your conversation with Otto, and thinks your tension comes from your self-consciousness.
You lift your head, pulling a pillow beneath it, and look down at your husband. You reach for him, tangling your fingers in his silver hair, "Daemon."
He hums, nipping your flesh in response.
You try to sit up, "D-Daemon, I-"
He shushes you, pushing down on your hip bone. He looks up at you, muttering something in High Valyrian.
"Please, Daemon, wait-"
"Be still," he says, violet eyes hooded, "do I not take care of you?"
Your breath hitches as he sinks down.
"Do you not enjoy my mouth?"
"I- that's not-"
"Do you or do you not?"
"I... I do—"
You are not able to speak after he buries his face between your thighs. You are reduced to breathy cries and a twisting spine. Daemon, though he continues to hold you down, relishes every second of it and feasts more ardently. He sighs, securing your thighs on his shoulders, nudging his face deeper into you, his nose brushing against your pearl.
He relishes how quickly your wetness builds, and soon, he feels your arousal dribbling down his chin. He moans, nails biting crescent moons into your skin. Your belly rises and falls in sync with the crescendo of your mewls. At this point, both your hands are tangled into his hair, and your pulling and scratching only further inspires his tongue.
You call out his name, screwing your eyes shut as you throw your head back and arch your body. Quickly, your belly tightens and you sequentially dig your heels into his shoulder blades. He squeezes your thighs enough to make them bruise, and yet the pain is what pushes you into orgasm, garnering a lewd and loud sound from your mouth.
Daemon hums, lifting his face just enough to see yours as he brings you to peak. He moans at your expression, grinding his hips into the cushion, desperate for friction.
Your body trembles, unable to settle as his burning mouth persists on your molten mound. You begin to squeak and he catches the moment you open your eyes to look at him all teary. It drives him mad. With a deep inhale, he pulls away, wiping his chin before he undoes his breeches.
You relax and catch your breath, hands dropping to your sides.
Daemon watches you, your trembling legs glistening with the pleasure he's drawn out. He can feel himself throbbing in his pants. You watch as he hastily frees himself. Though your head was hazy and your body was tried, your belly burned at sight of the sticky liquid dripping down your husband's neck.
"Fuck, Daemon," you reach for his belly. You trace his defined muscles with your finger tips. He snatches your hands when he finally pushes his pants down.
You squeak when he pushes you to your side, one hand on your shoulder, another hiking your leg up by the knee. You whine as he folds you into the sheets just before sliding his hardened cock in your wet cunt.
He hisses, leaning down to your neck. His words are hot against your skin, but you understand nothing.
Whatever tenderness he had before was gone, now he was just fucking you like a rabid animal. Daemon could not help himself, he loved how supple and pliable you were, and twists you into a form that keeps you prone. When the bed begins to creak because of his thrusts, he holds you down where your neck and collarbone meet. He puts enough pressure to restrict your breathing, but not enough to choke out your pretty noises.
At some point, he decides your leg is getting in the way and pushes you flat on your chest. He then gathers you by the hip, hiking you up enough to fuck you nicely from behind.
His thrusts are more intense now. You scream into the cushion as you find your elbows. Before you can prop yourself up though, he's pinning you down by the shoulder, saying something in High Valyrian again.
"D-Daemon," you whine, left cheek smushed against your pillow. You could feel your next climax building quickly.
He responds by rubbing your clit, drawing tears and another scream out of you because of your sensitivity.
You feel yourself helplessly clenching and unclenching around him, absolutely boneless under his vigorous intrusion. You could feel your knees slipping but Daemon's grip on you would not see you move from your position. Your toes curl. Saliva drips out your open mouth.
"Māzigon va, riña," he snorts, "sepār mirrī angotan tolī." Come on, girl. Just a little bit more."
You do not understand, so you only whine out, "Daemon."
Daemon growls and rubs one side of your ass, "you're doing so good for me."
He spanks you, but that's not what makes your eyes open.
"Milk my cock with your tight cunny, come slut."
You begin to grit your teeth.
"I want to see my seed dripping down your thighs," he groans, mind unable to focus on anything but the hot, wet slapping of your skin.
It's unsurprising that you come first, as Daemon always assures you do to underscore his control and dominance over you. He yelps out a sharp fuck, nearly coming in your cunt because of how your body seizes up around him. Your orgasm overwhelming, yet your eyes water for more than this reason. His words make you aware your husband sees you nothing more as a vessel for pleasure, and your pleasure is regretfully cut short because of how sharply he pulls out, his load spraying on your already dripping labia and pubic hair.
He strokes himself a few times, feeling his cock twitch in his hand as he watches your mixed come trickle down your legs. He sighs, "fuck," then scoops the cream in two fingers, plunging it in and out your still spasming cunt.
You squeal when he finger fucks you, body unable to remain upright. You are grateful he loses interest rather quickly and crumble into the bed as he stands.
You watch him walk over to the drawer, where he then pours himself some wine. You gulp, remembering your dream from last night. It sobers you out your high. You clench your jaw and roll over to clean yourself up. You head to your vanity and wipe yourself down, grabbing your robe was you do.
Daemon, whose thirst was now quenched, turns back to you with a towel. He is confused to see you standing. He watches you flip your hair behind you, pulling it out of your robe, which you then secure around yourself. He knits his brows as he walks over, "what are you doing?"
You turn to him, sitting on the vanity chair, "getting ready for bed."
Daemon stares, and you take his prolonged silence as an indication to proceed with your nightly routine.
The prince squeezes the damp towel in his hand as he watches you brush your hair. You catch his stillness from the mirror and turn back to him, "oh."
You drop your brush and take the towel from him, "I'll help you clean up."
Normally, he enjoyed this, but right now, he can't. He is offended when you begin to pick up his clothes, so much that he scoffs, "the fuck are you doing?"
You halt midway picking up his trousers. You stand and turn to the closet, "ah. Did you want new clothes?"
He pulls his head back, no longer offended, but hurt, "you want me to leave?"
You are caught off guard by his question. You stare at him for a moment, unsure if he was serious. You could not identify his expression, so you did not know if you should tell him the truth. You would not survive being berated after confessing you wanted to sleep with him. You dodge the answer altogether, "weren't you leaving anyway?"
Daemon's cheeks tense. He huffs, stepping forward, yanking his clothes out of your hands, "no."
You are bewildered by his actions, for to you, his actions are sudden. You are petrified in fear, which is why you instinctively begin to apologize, "f-forgive me, I-I-"
His nostrils flare and his jaw sets.
"I-" you motion with a hand, "- you always leave."
His clenches his jaw, "do you want me to leave?"
"I—" your throat tightens and soon you can no longer look at him. You want to beg him to stay, but you recall how you did that with your father, and your mother, and your brother— begging does not make people stay. You whisper, "I... I'm terrified."
When you lift your gaze, Daemon shirks and decides to dress. He gulps as he pulls his trousers up, turning back to you. He clenches his fist before reaching out for you.
Your heart races as he takes your hand.
"You've served me well. If you are terrified... I'll leave you."
You whimper when he pulls away, holding him tighter than he did before your hands part. Your lips quiver. He knits his brows. You shake your head, "I- I... I do not want you to go."
He is taken off guard by how you suddenly embrace him.
"Please," you beg, though you knew it would not serve you well, "stay."
He turned to stone. He cannot seem to move at all but your arms are determined to stay around him. You begin to weep against his skin and he can feel your breath grow ragged. Only then does he manage to return your affection.
He brushes your dark hair away from your face and cradles you against him.
"Daemon."
He leans into you, enough to be able to brush his cheek against yours, "kesan umbagon." I will stay.
You sniffle then sigh. After a while, you ask, "what does that mean?"
"I will stay."
You sigh again, pulling away to look at him. You offer him a sad smile, "thank you."
He frowns, wiping your tears.
When you go back to bed, you offer him space in case you've made him uncomfortable. He stares at you, awaiting your embrace. You are mere inches apart but it feels like yards and yards. Why do you not wish to hold him like you did last night?
"Good night, husband," you say before turning over.
He chuckles dryly, staring at your dark hair. He turns to the ceiling, "good night."
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