#as well as learning a bit more about how to play a paladin before the oneshot on friday

[hanaaria]

creating a new dnd character is so fun like what the fuck

[discordiansamba]

still rotating this blue exorcist AU idea from two nights ago, so I figure I might as well talk about it! the basic idea of the AU started with "what if Yukio was raised relatively in the dark about his origins, but Rin wasn't" and it sort of just snowballed from there, as things do.

on the night of his birth, rin's demon heart is never sealed. yuri calms him down all on her own, despite all of her own struggles that night. she survives childbirth, and pleads that she'll raise rin herself, so that he won't harm others.

(shiemihaza looks in her eyes, and this time, she agrees)

once it's confirmed that yukio is human, and has not inherited satan's flames, shiro agrees to raise him for yuri and give him a normal life. he keeps yukio's origins a secret from him, only vaguely alluding to the fact that he has an older twin brother who lives with their mother.

yuri and rin are confined at the Vatican, not allowed to leave the room they are given. yuri survived, but the traumatic pregnancy followed by the even more traumatic childbirth has clearly taken its toll on her. she is much weaker, and no one expect her to live long.

she ends up living for eight more years anyways on pure determination alone.

she raises rin carefully, teaching him how to control his flames and his strength. how to be kind to others, even if they aren't kind to him. rin grows up with a mother who is physically frail, so he learns to be gentle because he doesn't want to hurt her.

shiro becomes paladin. he visits yuri whenever he can- and at first, he's really just here for her. he still thinks she's crazy for thinking she can tame her demon son, considering what happened with satan. but eventually, he comes to understand that rin isn't his father.

(yuri learns from her mistakes. she doesn't repeat them with rin.)

yuri's health takes a turn for the worse in the twins' seventh year. she passes away after their eighth birthday. there's mutters in the Vatican about finally getting rid of satan's spawn.

shiro is not going to let that happen, so warily takes some advice from Mephisto. he doesn't trust him one bit, confident he's playing at some kind of long game, but he promised yuri he'd protect both of her children, and he intends to do just that.

he ends up making rin his familiar.

(he holds rin's hands and makes him promise that he'll never use his flames on humans, unless its an absolute emergency. the boy's spiral eyes are just like his father's as he looks at him, but the person behind them couldn't be less like his father if he tried. rin promises.)

for the first time since he was born, rin leaves the room he was confined in for so long. he's going to finally meet his little brother that he's heard so much about.

he has to wear a weird, itchy bracelet to do it, though. it's supposed to make him look completely human to even people who have a mashou. mephisto made it.

(it's a rosary, because mephisto is determined to be an ironic little shithead at all times.)

his mom named him rinka. when he goes to live among humans, shiro gives him the name okumura rin.

fujimoto yukio meets his twin brother for the first time when he's eight years old. he's a strange kid, and it takes him awhile to get used to his presence at the monastery. there's something almost... disquieting about him, but that feeling fades over time.

rin doesn't go to school. everyone agrees that's probably a terrible idea. yuri taught him how to read and write. shiro tries to teach him the other subjects, but rin's not very interested.

(he is interested in cooking, though. lifehack: teach the demon kid you are now raising how to do math via cooking.)

rin keeps his bracelet on at all times around the monastery. he only takes it off when shiro needs rinka.

yukio does not grow up seeing demons. he has been blind in his left eye since birth- but that all changes after an encounter with a demon right before he moves into the true cross dorms. he doesn't remember much of what happened. all he knows is that rin saved him.

he learns demons are real, and that his father is an exorcist. and that rin has known about this all along, because he's been able to see demons his whole life. shiro grits his teeth, and decides to enroll yukio in cram school, with apologies to yuri.

(he has a bad feeling that yukio's encounter with that demon wasn't simply chance. the demon sight that mephisto sealed away is back- and with it, the vision in yukio's left eye.)

shiro doesn't tell yukio about his origins, nor that of his brother's. most of the exorcist world has forgotten that yuri egin ever had twins. only a few choice people who lived through that event are aware of this fact. there's only one son of Satan, and he is the paladin's familiar now. that's common knowledge.

mephisto: hm. I have a good idea. let's enroll rin at true cross academy as well!

rin, who has never gone to school in his life: i'm sorry what.

mephisto: you'll be able to protect your brother that way!

(shiro watches yukio at cram school. rin watches him at regular school. but also at cram school, because he's there too as shiro's familiar rinka. yukio just doesn't know that part.)

(at least he finally gets an excuse to wear that cool mask he bought that covers the lower half of his face. otherwise yukio would 100% recognize him. and he very much does not want that. he'd like to stay human in yukio's eyes for at least a little longer.)

[forest-creaturre]

Sehkmet the Just. Devoted Paladin of The Lord of the North Wind; The Wyrmking; King of Good Dragons; The Platinum Dragon Bahamut

More silly Tavs. haha can we tell that I started out drawing animals and have for way longer than I’ve drawn people?

Sehkmet’s an Oath of Vengeance Paladin and always keeps her word, or will die in the attempt.

I imagine she’s been resurrected once before after falling in battle against the cult of Tiamat.

She devoted her life to serving as an instrument for Bahamut’s vengeance after losing her clan to followers of Tiamat as a wee cub.

So she’s very devout, but also gets to be a whole himbo, as a treat. She and Hollow (my durge) would ask together with full earnestness ‘what animal is the pink panther’ and Sehkmet would probably forget after a week.

Some Headcanon-y Things

Heals by giving lil’ forehead kisses and will absolutely not tolerate anyone hiding injuries, she’s lost too many a good ally to let that slide.

Helps with cooking by prepping the food so Gale has a little less work to do; Can freeze food for later too

White Dragonborn are more adapt for the cold, so Sehkmet’s got a thick downy fur, ideal for cuddling; everyone has slept with at least once for the best platonic cuddles (maybe minus Lae’zel until much later)

Has no idea what a shirt is, not really, but she prefers to go without when resting. Only somewhat understands modesty, everything for Dragonborn is extremely internal so she understands in concept, but not necessarily for herself

Does laundry for everyone, finds the repetitiveness to be meditative and is particular about strong smells, so doing it is a win-win. Patches up any holes she finds too.

Fascinated by hair, loves to style it and learned how to when a few war clerics taught her to. Lae’zel, Shadowheart, and Gale all thought she was giving them *the look* but she just wanted to play with and style their hair.

I need to practice muscular bodies a bit, but she’s built like a seven-foot tall truck and hits like a train.

Can only see out of one eye, lost total use of her right one while training to join her order but the vision had been failing most of her life.

She was a secret fan of *The Blade of Frontiers* before meeting Wyll because she’d heard he also only had one functioning eye and was still able to be a champion of the people.

did not, however, realize she was older than him. She’s still a fan.

Spends at least one evenings each tenday polishing and caring for the party’s armor, after proving to Lae’zel she did an acceptable enough job to be entrusted hers as well.

Scarily fast, especially out of her armor. She was too slow, once, to save a cleric who’d trusted her to be their shield. She’d vowed to never be too slow again, and she always keeps her word.

Offers mercy and a second chance unless it’s been proven to her that a beaten enemy won’t do better; She follows Bahamut’s own words on the matter, no justice without mercy and no penance without forgiveness

Would probably be a theater kid

Spars with Lae’zel and Karlach on the regular in camp. I like the idea that Dragonborn can replace teeth but it’s not common knowledge yet, so it’s funny to picture:

Karlach knocking out a couple teeth and being extremely apologetic and starts looking for the teeth

Sehkmet’s just confused because she’s assumed her whole life everyone’s teeth regrow and is confused why Karlach’s dragging Shadowheart over with her old teeth asking if she can put them back.

Lae’zel is amused (Gith definitely would also be able to regrow teeth, selectively bred warrior race and all) and uses the moment for one of her lovely little Githyanki supremacy tangents.

Sehkmet is just standing there, staring at the horizon in concern, like ‘You all don’t regrow teeth?!’ and thinking about how many belated apologies she needs to make

Karlach is still holding bloody teeth

Lae’zel and Shadowheart are fighting (flirting) again

Astarion is over by the cookout bugging Gale and watching the show

Gale and Wyll are still thinking at least they’re normal

the Emperor is still imploring you to eat a tadpole.

[precambrian-sea-pancake]

Gonna infodump about my D&D character

(Sadly forced to keep things confidential because my party members follow me on tumblr…you know who you are 👁️👁️)

I’ve only had Gawain for a short time but OH MY GOODNESS I FUCKING ADORE THIS SILLY GUY!!

Also kinda shocked that the moodboard I made for him got that many notes. That’s a first…

Also please enjoy the drawing @hootbon made for me. I will never shut up about their art.

So…for what CAN post publicly…

Gawain is your token Lawful Good Paladin TM. Bonus points for being a protector aasimar I guess. (Though I might multiclass into a bard depending on how things go. It would fit him well. They’re my favorite spell caster.)

His personality is gonna be SO fun to play. Before I explain that, I should mention that he’s actually the youngest of the group at 24. The second youngest is the Kobold (Maran) who’s 37. So he’s a lot more naive and still understanding himself and the world around him. People often dismiss him due to that unfortunately. But, you know, imagine a dumb collage age boy and you get somewhat of an idea.

He’s a very sweet and compassionate guy, extremely extroverted and fun loving…maybe a bit flirty at times. Definitely cracks witty comments and one liners in battles ranging from something clever to “suck my dick” or something dumb like that. That doesn’t mean he can’t be serious, he absolutely knows when he should. Ironically he’s the most “normal” of the group, often being the straight man. Overall heart of gold and just wants to help people.

He has a bit of a rebellious and impulsiveness to him. As clever as he is, he’s mostly driven by his emotions. It’s always a “do what feels right in the moment” rather than logic. In general he’s just very emotional and struggles with hyper empathy. This also causes him to question a lot of the authority around him.

I’d also say he has that Disney Princess syndrome. Gawain is convinced that he has some grand destiny and is meant for more. He’s always wanted to explore and learn more about the world, meet new people and cultures, live a life of glory and adventure. Maybe he’s in over his head or maybe he’s not…we’ll see.

However, another big reason for doing all this is that he wants to understand who he is…more accurately WHAT he is. He was born to humans, raised by humans, and grew up in a mostly all human kingdom. So he grew up thinking he was one despite some strong differences between him and the others. Aasimar are VERY rare, and more like myths to most people, and others don’t even know they exist. So people either assumed he was blessed or cursed, some treated him like the messiah, and others thought he was a freak and dangerous. So yeah, he never felt like he belonged and wants to learn about himself.

Somewhere in his life he ended up becoming a squire and completed his training just before the start of the campaign…

And that’s all the backstory information I can post because my friends will see this.

I guess I can do a bit of trivia:

It’s still D&D lore, but the world itself is homebrew. Humans are actually not the majority race, far from it. Most humans live in a large archipelago with various human nations. I remember the DM said the estimated population of humans was 20,000 to 30,000. The two mainland continents are one dominated by dwarves and the other by elves, along with other races being far more common on the mainland. Not really about my character but I LOVE that detail. It’s somewhat relevant I guess since I said Gawain grew up in a human society.

The god he venerates most is Ilmatar.

His eyes reflect his emotions and power. When using any of his abilities or when under intense emotions (both positive and negative), his eyes will turn a solid gold color.

Prior to his training, he was a courier. His parents ran his town’s postal service and that’s one of the things that got him into the idea of adventuring.

He’s more of a cat person than a dog person. He likes both, but I feel like he’d go for the cat.

The first weapon he ever used was a bow rather than a sword. The specific sword he uses is an arming sword.

He is a wonderful singer, his voice is almost ethereal in when he sings (little aasimar headcanon of mine).

His favorite study is anthropology, but also really likes history and geography. He’s always collecting little souvenirs and trinkets from everywhere he visits.

He keeps a diary and loves to write stories and sketch things. A lot of story inspiration comes from his dreams, which are often very vivid…and he remembers them super well.

Neither of his parents have blonde hair, nor is it a recessive trait they had. It’s actually part of his aasimar traits.

He talks in his sleep because I think it’s funny.

If this wasn’t a medieval fantasy world, he’d definitely use Gen Z slang. Maybe even tell someone “L + Ratio” or “Skill issue” after besting them in battle. In that same hypothetical reality, his favorite band would be Starset and The Score.

He takes good care of his appearance and health, so he does enjoy certain beauty products. A spa day is his ideal day off.

He hates salmon. He thinks it tastes bad and prefers catfish. I don’t know why I even thought of that fact but it’s there.

[kamiko1234]

Can we talk about how genuinly OP Rin acctualy is ?

(English isn't my first language, so please excuse any spelling mistakes I could have made)

So I've been thinking a bit and....Rin may just genuinely be one of the (if not THE (in the future)) most powerful characters in the entire series? Genuinly if you look at what the guy managed to achieve in comparison with his relative time spent training is crazy.

We know that it's been round about a year since the beginning of the manga (afaik at least). Before that Rin had no idea of anything demonic. He didn't even know he had the abilities he does. That already puts him at a HUGE disadvantage against virtually everyone else in his cram school class. Even if they hadn't properly trained before, they at least had some form of basic knowledge and idea of the work to go off on.

Rin in the meantime started off from 0, no training and no knowledge. And even on that incredibly weak and disadvantaged position, he managed to beat up Aimaimon, a demon KING, fairly well early on. Admittedly Mephisto did interfere and Rin did have the element of surprise on his side, but one still has to remember that he did this on his own with no training or preparation time.

Then during the Impure King arc he played a HUGE role in defeating it together with Ucchusma. Bon was only there to do damage control for the other exorcists and civilians while Rin really posed the "main" fighting force. Ucchusma's role mainly consisted of guiding and reinforcing his flames which- again I have to remind you all that Rin JUST learned to control his flames properly. He barely got down the basics of his powers at that point and was already able to go toe-to-toe with the Impure King.

Shima specifically advice Lucifer to go send his bodyguards to fight Rin in battle as a safer bet, due to the fact that Rin would have reservations about killing humans. And even then he just called it a 50/50 chance at winning if I remember correctly- and those bodyguards are highly skilled exorcists.

Then when we fast forward to his awakening- which may just be Rin's biggest power-boost, the guy just gets more and more op. Not only did he gain pretty functionally much full control over his demonic side, but his body was burned to a literal crisp. And it proceeded to regenerate a few seconds later, fully. Without any issues at all- still leaving the guy more than enough energy to go ham on his friends right after.

During the Blue Night Remembrance Arc we only get more indicators for how strong he is. Rin was able to straight up kill like...five people as a newborn? Not to mention the fact that he did but up an impressive fight against Shiro- at the time strong enough to be declared Paladin- for someone who was literally just fresh outta the whomb.

This just proves (in my opinion) that Rin with his flames alone could kill off just about anyone not an Upper Class level exorcist atleast.

Later when the exorcists ask how to deal with him and propose just destroying his body Mephisto also plainly states that it would do nothing- that Rin will just keep on regenerating himself over and over again if his demon heart is not taken out. This confirms that Rin is practically invulnerable to any damage not destroying his heart- as his body would just keep regenerating and healing any other injury.

This btw also confirms that Rin basically has the perfect vessel. If Rin would have had to deal with the same issues as the other demon kings, i.e his body not being able to handle his power and thus deteriorating, all they would have had to do was to wait him out. And then when his flames destroy his body, just make sure Rin doesn't get another one. But no- it was specifically stated that his body would just keep regenerating.

His body's regeneration pretty much makes the guy immune to the major limiting factor for powerful demons in Assiah.

But the most damning proof of Rin's OPness: The guy managed to go up against literal SATAN SOLO and do fairly well. This is someone Lucifer had respect for, and he wasn't able to just one-shot Rin. He's still vastly superior ofcourse- but he did have to put in some effort, as menial as it is.

At this point I'd again like to remind you at right now, Rin still has comically little actual training. Again he's been introduced to this world like....one year ago. The guy is SEVERLY lacking in experience and training compared to pretty much everyone else, and he already managed to do all that.

Just imagine what Rin would do if he had been trained and introduced to the world of exorcists since birth. Or even if he just had started to train from the same age on as Yukio. If one year is enough to get Rin to the point of throwing punches with Satan, what would have 8 years of training done for him?

This is also why I'm genuinely gonna say that Rin has the honest potential to just about surpass everyone and everything in terms of power if he's given enough time and training. The guy isn't even a nuke anymore, he's a hydrogen bomb!

[loulouhattie]

The Vampire’s Violin

Pairing: m!Tav x Astarion

Summary:

In my playthrough, Astarion multiclasses as a bard. My HC is that he loved music once, and played it before Cazador took him. Now, with his taste first of freedom in 200 years, he indulges himself by trying again. But doesn't anticipate Finn watching him

Tav: Finn is a half drow fighter/paladin who puts up a front of being a too-cool, tough guy jock. In reality, its a mask for his sensitive and gentle nature

Rating: teen

Tags: fluff, romantic tension, little bit of enemies to lovers, but very light

This is a very self indulgent one-shot I wrote because I couldnt stop thinking about this story hc, and then I had to draw it to bring it to life and

Well

Bon appetit i guess

————————

‘Gods above!’

Astarion almost dropped the violin, swinging around to see the Finn staring through the bushes, eyes gleaming and his face split into a mischievous grin.

‘How bloody long were you standing there!’ he hissed.

Finn shrugged.

‘I only came out here to find a tree to piss on. Certainly didn’t expect to find you giving the squirrels a concert!’ Finn smirked at him.

Astarion's fingers curled around the bow. He hated this feeling that he’s been caught.

But there’s nothing wrong with what he was doing, is there?

Finn noticed the tension in his shoulders, and his sneer softened.

‘Can I listen?’

‘What? No. Fuck off,’ Astarion spat, ‘and if you tell the others, I’ll decorate your bedroll with your innards.’

Finn stepped out from the bushes, standing only a few feet from the pale elf in clearing. Astarion’s eyes narrowed, his hackles tense like a cornered cat.

‘I won’t breathe a word, honest. I guess I’m just surprised, you don’t strike me as...well, it’s nice to learn a little more about you,’ Finn explained earnestly.

His tone was sincere, but Astarion’s eyes remained narrow.

‘well, it’s not much to learn about. It was a long time ago. From before I was turned,'

He absently twirled the bow,

'I suppose I got curious. People have often said such skills never leave you, and, well, like I said. I got curious.’

‘Cazador not a music lover?’

The bow stopped twirling.

‘That had better be a joke.’ it came out in a snarl.

Finn raised his hands in apology. The silence in the clearing was cool and comforting, accented by the occasional chirp of insects.

Astarion’s shoulders relaxed, and he turned so that he faced Finn fully.

‘You’re not going to fuck off. Are you?’

‘Nope!’ the half drow’s eyes couldn’t possibly get any rounder as he plonked happily down on the ground, legs crossed and beaming like a child.

Astarion scoffed. He twirled the bow once more, chewing the inside of his cheek.

‘If you’re going to insist on staying here, just keep quiet. It won’t do to distract me.’ he snapped at Finn, raising the violin to his chin. Out of the corner of his eye, Finn’s eyes sparkled as he shifted to a more comfortable position.

The pale elf exhaled, pressing the rest into the crook of his neck. With his bow hand, he plucked the string. He turned the peg for the corresponding string slowly, plucking steadily as the note sharpened.

A hot spot in his fingertip formed under the string’s friction. The note pinged clearly through the clearing, and he was satisfied. Onto the next 3 strings.

Finn watched the vampire intently. He couldn’t help but notice that his posture shifting. His brows were always so furrowed with malice, but now the focus on tuning the instrument had melted them.

There was a ghost of gentleness to his red eyes. Finn made sure not to move, careful not to disrupt this trancelike state.

Astarion plucked all 4 strings once more, their notes singing gently into the air. Shifting his stance, he raised the bow to the instrument. The insects were silent, waiting. Waiting for the performance to begin.

But the elf hesitated. His gaze clouded. Finn felt a sense of melancholy radiate from him.

‘Is…is something wrong?’ Finn probed gently. Astarion lowed the bow, dejected.

‘I don’t know what to play.’ he admitted.

200 years without so much as thinking of playing, and he was going to just give it a go?

Pathetic. What a stupid, foolish idiot he was! He wasn’t good for anything beyond manipulating and seducing pretty things-

‘I know!’

A sharp whistle sang through the clearing, making Astarion winced.

What was this idiot doing now? Astarion stared at him incredulously, about to snap at him.

Finn’s face scrunched with focus as he barely got a half cooked tune out between his lips. The only time he ever whistled was for Scratch, and this tone deaf fool couldn’t get a note out!

Then, he heard it. In between the very flat notes, he recognised that tune.

It was the song that Alfira sang in the Grove.

Astarion went still. He focused on the notes that wove together in a tapestry of melody.

Could he piece that melody together? Something he had only heard once?

He raised the bow, and passed it across the instrument. The strings squeaked in protest.

A grimace.

Finn continued to whistle... well, he continued to struggle.

Astarion repositioned the bow in his fingers. He pulled it across the violin again.

And this time, the note flowed forth. And melted into the next, flowing into a song.

It was as though mage hands were gently guiding him. The dust fell slowly from his memory as he recalled the forms for playing.

What started as rough squeaks began to form into a melody, a song. It filled the clearing, and he instinctively began to shift his weight from one foot to the other to keep his tempo.

Finn watched, transfixed. What he thought was a shift in demeanour before when he was tuning the violin was nothing compared to what was before him now.

Moonlight gleamed off Astarion’s pearlescent skin and snowy curls, dancing off him to the song he deftly coaxed from the instrument. He was a different being entirely - he was lost in the music.

His face creased in focus, not out of his usual snidenesss. He was transcendent, his brows and lips dancing to the rhythm as he bow flowed across the strings.

The song came to an end. And both men were still.

Neither said a word for a beat.

‘I won’t lie: you’re a bit shit.’ Finn broke the silence.

Astarion let out an uncharacteristic bark of laughter. Finn snickered to himself. The air was light, and mild around them.

A blush crept up Finn’s ears.

Astarion lowered the violin, letting it hang at his side. The silence of the forest permeated the clearing. He was suddenly aware of how exposed he felt out here. The bliss of feeling the music vanished in an instant.

‘We should head back, before some goblin or beast comes calling for an encore.’

‘Wait,’ Finn stood up quickly, dusting off his trousers. ‘I really enjoyed that. Listening to you play. Do you…'

He shifted on his feet, scooting dust beneath his shoe,

'if you play again, could I come and listen?’

Astarion took in the half-drow before him. He hadn’t noticed before, but his ashen skin seemed to absorb the moon and starlight. A gift of the Underdark, perhaps.

His red eye sparkled, and he recognised the blush on his ears and cheeks. The faintest hint of desire.

This would be easier than he thought.

‘Darling. I suppose we could arrange a more intimate viewing.’ he stalked past Finn, taking care to breeze so closely by that he brushed delicately past Finn’s fingertips.

He heard the faintest trace of his breath catching, and he knew he had him in the palm of his hand. He gazed at him through lowered lashes, a smile etched across his face. Poor, pathetic boy.

‘Let’s head back to camp. Maybe tomorrow night, we can arrange another little…performance.’

[mirkwoodshewolf]

The dad who stepped up; John Wick x oc teen

*Author's note*

Okay so this is the first update in what feels like forever. Now that I'm on winter break and away from home I can start to feel the creative juices flowing. I might also post up some other stuff that I've had saved but didn't feel confident in posting before as some christmas gifts for you all.

But this oneshot (possibly might turn this into a series but only AFTER I've seen all the John Wick films. I've seen bits and pieces on youtube but never all the way through *dodges flying objects*) So just to put in prespective this is a prologue before the first film. Like the five years John has once he retires. But I wanna see how all of you like this and if anyone wants to see this turned into a series, give me a shoutout below and comment whether you wish to be tagged or not.

Warnings: Fluff, angst, parental abandonment, cancer mentioned.

Taglist:

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@queen-paladin

@waddles03

@plethora-of-things

@psychosupernatural

@remussl0vers

@queensdivas

_______________________________________________________

If you think being a teenage girl is bad enough, try being the teenage daughter of the infamous Baba Yaga.  Well not blood related but I’ve known John Wick for most of my pre-teen/teenage life.  He was a wild card I never expected coming into mine or my mother’s life, hell men like him only exist in my mom’s Fabio romance novels. 

Even though I would later in life learn of who he truly was, I still can’t help but think back to the days when he first came into our lives.

Age 11

It all started when I had came back from my first summer at Camp Walden.  I had learned about this camp from my best friend and I pleaded with my mom for me to go.  At first she acted like she wasn’t even going to allow me to go but then on the last day of school, she had surprised me with an application of approval and a plane ticket for me to go to Camp Walden.

I spent eight weeks at the all-girls camp learning how to fence, canoe, all the typical fun camp stuff.  Made some new friends and would write letters to my mom every single night (as per her conditions since there wasn’t any cell service up there).

I got off the plane with all my bags and looked around the gate until I caught sight of my mom.  She held out a welcome home sign and when she found me from the load of passengers, she and I raced up to each other and hugged each other tightly.  She picked me up rocking me back and forth kissing me repeatedly.

“Oh I hope you had a lousy time at that camp because I am never sending you there again, I missed you too much!”

“I missed you too mom.”

“Wait did you…..you got your haircut?” when I had went I had pretty long hair and now I come back from camp with my hair up to my shoulders.

“Yeah when we were playing truth or dare, a girl was dared to cut someone’s hair and since I had the longest I was the victim. Luckily for me her mom’s a stylist and she learned from her. Are you mad?”

“I would be but she did something I’ve never been able to make you do since you were little.” We both laughed as she held me close to her again and we began to leave the airport.

“So mom how’s your summer been?”

“Oh the typical single mom empty nester. Watching trash tv and drinking mimosas.” I shook my head at her.  “But I wanna hear more about camp. Eight weeks of not hearing your voice is way too long for me.”

“Yeah it was a lot for me too mom. But it was a lot of fun. I got some pics of some foxes that came by the camp.”

“Ohhh exciting. I know you’ll be adding those to your collection my little fox kit.”

“Yeah. And canoeing is much more difficult than they make it seem on TV. We got tipped over like five times and we didn’t even leave the docks.”

“Awww man, I’m sorry baby.” We threw my stuff into the trunk and I rode in the passenger seat while mom drove us out of the airport parking lot and we headed for home.  “Oh by the way your aunt Chessy just had to be here to see you come home so expect to be smothered by her.”

“Did she bring Sammy?” I asked excitedly.

“You know your aunt. Never leaves home without that dog of hers.” I clapped my hands excitedly.

“Also baby I have surprise to tell you once you get settled in.”

“A surprise? What is it?”

“It’s a surprise and like I said I want you to get settled in first before I tell you what it is. It’s tiring flying from coast to coast non-stop so I want you to take as much time as you need to get settled.” I let out a groan as I sat back in the seat.  When you’re a kid and you hear the word ‘surprise’ you never want to wait for it.  But grownups just love to do that to you.

Before long we finally arrived at the house and mom put the car in park in the driveway and turned the engine off.  I stepped out of the car and looked at my house in relief.  The door was left wide open and I immediately heard barking as Sammy, my aunt’s golden retriever raced out and came over to me.

“Sammy!” he came up and sat down allowing me to hug and kiss him.

“Oh now this fully grown woman can’t be my little Sarah can it!?” I heard aunt Chessy’s voice say as she came out.  I let go of Sammy and ran up to her and she too picked me up just like mom did at the airport.  Spinning me around and rocking me back and forth.  “Oh welcome home baby girl. We missed you soo much! Hey,” she separated our hug and took both my arms in her hands as she continued, “Don’t you dare convince your mom to send you that way again for far too long. You’re lucky I soil you too much otherwise I wouldn’t have extended my stay.”

“I love you too aunt Chessy. Camp was fun but there’s truly no place like home.”

“Amen to that sister. You’re just in time I made cornbread and chili your favorite.”

“Did I just hear cornbread and chili?” mom perked up as she carried my bags over her shoulder.

“Yeah it’s on the stove but Sarah gets the first bowl. And Helen don’t carry all that weight, that’s what I’m here for.” Aunt Chessy grabbed my bags while mom briefly gave her a glare but aunt Chessy gave her a look back.  “C’mon kid, let’s get you inside and well fed.” As we walked back inside with Sammy sticking to mom’s side whimpering and licking her hand, that’s when I began to notice the black mustang also parked in our driveway.

I sat down at my balcony bed while aunt Chessy began unpacking my bags.  I had my bowl of chili with the cornbread inside of it in my lap and I said.

“Hey aunt Chessy, how’d you afford a mustang from the rental car place?”

“Oh I wish I could afford one in real life. But that car doesn’t belong to me.”

“So what did mom get it or something?” I asked.  That’s when we heard my mom giggling.  I turned and looked outside and saw her with a man right out by the pool.  The man was sitting on one of the pool chairs and I could see he had pure black hair, wore sunglasses and a dark t-shirt.  “Who is he?”

“Sarah it’s none of my business how my big sister ruins her life she’s a big girl.” Aunt Chessy said as she began taking out all my dirty clothes.  I set my bowl of chili aside and went up to her and said as I wrapped my arms around her right one.

“C’mon aunt Chessy I need to know. Who is he?” aunt Chessy let out a deep sigh and turned to me.

“His name is John Wick. Your mom met him at the gas station when she accidentally forgot to grab her wallet to pay for gas. If you ask me I think he wanted something a bit more than just to be a good Samaritan.”

“What do you mean?” this time we could hear a splash by the pool and mom’s laughter before it turned to shrieks and then back to laughter again.  Aunt Chessy let out a groan as she rolled her eyes.  I went to grab my camera while Aunt Chessy continued on her rant.

“Look you know how I’ve felt about men especially after your father left you guys. So I gotta ask myself what does a man like that who belongs in a Fabio romance novel want with a woman who is trying to work out her life as a single mom? Then I realize there’s a million reasons why that man has stuck around, and all of it is just waiting to be spent from the New York bank.” As she talked I stood there with my camera to see both my mom and John in the pool together at first playing like little kids before being wrapped in each other’s arms.

“What you think he’s loaded or something?” I asked.

“Ehh what do I know? But I’ll tell you one thing, this man’s got your mother eating out of the palm of his hand. They do everything together, they go on drives in that car of his, they swim together, they go out to eat dinner every single night. But you know what, meet him. See for yourself, don’t let me influence you.”

 I saw them making goo-goo eyes at each other before kissing each other as they remained in the pool.  I snapped a quick picture of them and felt an odd feeling in my stomach as I looked down at them.  Could he be the surprise that mom was talking about?

After I had my lunch and aunt Chessy was now doing my laundry, I got on my bathing suit and put on a Shadow the hedgehog t-shirt over it along with some old sandals.  I grabbed my sunglasses and decided to head out to the pool. 

There I saw John once again sitting on the pool chair with my mom just coming out of the pool and grabbing a towel.

“Ohh Sarah, didn’t expect you to come down so soon.”

“Figured I’d stretch my legs out in the pool. At least this time I won’t have algae or wet sand between my toes.” I said wiggling my toes as I kicked my sandals off my feet.

“Well since you’re here I guess there’s no time like the present ehh? Sarah, I’d like you to meet a friend of mine.” She came up behind me and walked us closer to John.  “Sarah, this is John Wick.”

He removed his sunglasses and I finally got a better look at his face.  A sharp facial structure and a scruff beard that had some hidden grey to it.  Deep brown eyes that pierced through my very soul and almost sent a chill of fear up my spine.

“Hello.” His voice had a slight ruggedness to it but it also had warmth and friendliness to it.  Not like how when someone who has a rasp to their voice it makes them creepy.

“Hi, Mr. Wick.” I greeted shyly as I placed my sunglasses on top of my head.

“Well I can’t believe I’m finally meeting the famous Sarah. I’ve been looking forward to this all summer.” John said as he adjusted himself to sit up properly and get a better look at me.

“Really well here I am.” I said with a shrug.

“Helen, you’ve been holding out on me. The way your mom has talked about you I expected to meet a little girl but you are so grown up and just as beautiful as her.”

“I’ll be 12 soon. How old are you?”

“Sarah!” exclaimed my mom as tugged me by my shoulders.

“It’s fine Helen. There should actually be no shame in children asking adults their ages.” John assured my mom.  “To answer your question I’m 43.”

“That’s 32 years older than me! How old are you again mom.” I asked looking up at her.

“Wow if only you were this interested in math when it comes to your homework. Look I’m going to head inside and get some food. Maybe even check to make sure Chessy is doing the laundry correctly. I love my little sister but sometimes she can be a scatter brain when it comes to laundry. Be right back.” With that mom left me alone with her new ‘boyfriend’.

“My aunt said that you guys met at a gas station, is that true?”

“Yes that is true. I don’t know the full story but from what I did see, the cashier was giving your mother a pretty hard time so I thought I’d give her a hand and help pay for her gas. And not three days later at the Walmart nearby she actually helped me with finding the better laundry detergent. From there I guess you could say the rest is history.”

“How come my mom didn’t mention you in the letters she’d send me?” John let out a deep sigh and looked at me with a sympathetic look.

“I imagine this is pretty awkward, right?” I merely shrugged as I crossed my arms over my chest.  “Your mom felt that this type of news would’ve been better to be talked about in person. But I want you to know this Sarah, these past eight weeks I’ve really come to care for your mother. And I wish I can do the same for you, but if not I’ll understand and I’ll walk away.”

Now this is something I’ve never heard of happening in real life.  Normally the partner wouldn’t allow their lover’s child to dictate whether or not they’ll stay together.  But just from seeing mom and him together, that’s the happiest I’ve seen her since……him.

Needless to say (and as you all know) John Wick stuck around with my mother.  They waited to get married until a year into their blossoming relationship.  And it was also after their marriage that mom and I would leave our home of Nappa, California and go to live with John in his house in New York.

It was out in upstate New York so just roughly about a 20-30min drive away from the city.  It was fairly similar in size to our old house back home with wide open spaces, a good sized backyard, and a two door garage. 

Ever since they got married, mom’s always tried to have John and I do some ‘father-daughter’ bonding time.  And even though John did his best to understand my interests whether it came to gaming, music, or movie trivia, there was just something about being alone with him that didn’t sit right with me.  I already got fooled once by my dad once, I wasn’t going to let another one do the same thing to me again.

Age 13

I was sitting in the passenger seat of John’s mustang as we drove into the city to pick up some groceries.  Mom had to suddenly be called into work with an emergency and John said he didn’t want to leave me alone in the house by myself.

After a brief back and forth with each other of how whether or not I was capable of staying at the home by myself, I ended up losing that battle and had to tag along.  As we walked through the aisles picking out everything we needed, my eye soon caught a bunch of people at a table advertising something.

I noticed their posters for the Gotham Archery classes.  And there happened to be one right nearby in Manhattan.  I turned to John to see him looking at some deals on eggs then turned my attention back towards the table.  Archery did always fascinate me but there was never any schools or lessons back at California that were within driving range of us so I could only fantasize about shooting an actual bow and arrow like Legolas or Merida did.

“You want to go talk to them?” I jumped at John’s voice and looked up at him.

“Huh?”

“You’ve been staring at them for the past five minutes without even blinking. So either you’ve got some beef with one of those gentleman or you’d like to go talk to them and think about joining them.”

“Yeah that’s funny. Me doing archery.” I scoffed as I brushed it off with a laugh.

“What’s so funny about that?” he leaned his arms over the shopping cart as he raised his brow at me.  One look at his eyes and I knew he wasn’t kidding around.

“You—you’re being serious?”

“If it’s something you’re interested in, you should go for it.” A strange fluttery feeling came into my chest when he said that.  Dad never really took the time to encourage me to go out for something, it was always mom who tried to push me to achieve what I want.  So hearing this from an adult male, especially someone like John Wick felt strange and new to me.

I took a deep breath and walked over to the table and it was there I began my journey into the world of archery.

After bringing John over to the table so that he could get some of the information too (since I was under 18 I needed to have an adult present for the information given and to ensure that there would be an adult present whenever I was taken to classes).

We had a meeting that night with my mom and she was so proud that I had managed to find something to do here in New York.  And already having John be the chosen supervised parent to go along with me also made her happy to know that we finally managed to find something to bond over.

After several months of lessons, I actually ended up doing a lot better at archery than I could imagine.  So much so that my instructor encouraged me to participate in the upcoming tournament that would be held at their school in Brooklyn.

Mom, aunt Chessy and John all came to support me in the tournament but when I began to see the large crowd that was gathering around to see all of us that was competing, my heart began to race and my stomach began churning.

“Full house, oh sweet Jesus.” I groaned as I held my stomach tightly.  I fiddled with my archer’s glove unhooking and re-hooking the straps as my anxiety was starting to go through the roof.

“And here we have future gold medalist Olympic archer Sarah Wick.” I shook my head trying to hide the smile etching at the corner of my mouth and looked up to see John with his phone pointed right towards me.

“Haha you’re such a comedian.” I mocked sarcastically.

“No joke. Those archers don’t know who they’re about to go against.” I winced slightly as I looked down and fiddled with my glove once again.  “Hey, everything okay?” he asked concerningly.  He pocketed his phone and sat down in front of me.

Could I maybe trick him into taking me home? Mom never fell for the classic ‘fake sickness’ trick whenever I needed to get out of something.  Guess that’s just something mom’s automatically know, but John—he wouldn’t know and I’ll bet he wouldn’t even ask questions about it.

“I’m not feeling so good John. I think I need to go home and lay down. Yeah that’s it let’s go home.” I went to sit up but he held onto my shoulder and pressed his other hand to my forehead.

“You don’t seem to be running a fever.”

“It’s a stomach bug. Suddenly started up out of nowhere.” I let out a pained hiss as I groaned lowly.  When I looked up at him, one look on his face told me that he wasn’t buying this act for a second.  “This isn’t working is it?”

“It was a good try.” He acknowledged giving me a wink.  I dropped the act as I let out a deep sigh.

“How do you guys always seem to know when we’re faking it?”

“I may have only been in the parenting game for a short time, but I know how to spot the classic ‘feigning sick bit’. Even pulled it myself from time to time. Now you wanna share what’s really going on?”

I don’t even know myself why I suddenly felt like coming clean to him.  Whether it was him not talking down to me in order to get the answer, or him even acknowledging that I did my best to fake him out.  Either way I finally came clean to him.

“I didn’t think there was going to be so many people here to see us compete. It’s stressing enough with the judges, but the people in the audience……I’m just—so afraid that I’m gonna make a total fool of myself.” John let out a soft hum as he nodded softly.

“I believe what you’re going through right now is what they call stage fright. Everyone gets it, even me.”

“You? I don’t believe you.”

“Oh yeah. Believe it or not this 45 year old, 6’1 giant of a man has and still sometimes deals with anxiety and stage fright.” We both softly chuckled at his statement.

“How do you get by?”

“One step at a time. I can only control what I can. And yes there will be the unknown that you wish you could say ‘hey I want you to do this’ or ‘you’re gonna do it this way’. But we can’t let the fear dictate over something we love.”

“Wow…..that’s—deep.”

“I try my best.” John merely shrugged, which got another laugh out of me.  “And think of it this way; after today: No one but your mother, aunt, instructor and I will remember what you did here today. So don’t do your best for those nameless people out in the audience, do it for the ones that really know you.”

“Thanks John. That really helped more than you know.” He gently squeezed my shoulder and said.

“Glad I could help. And good luck out there.” He stood up and walked back to join my mom and aunt at their seats.

Whenever mom gave me advise or encouragement while she always looked on the positive aspects of it, just between the lines I knew there were times that she would sugarcoat certain things.  Like there was too much optimism in certain events that I knew wouldn’t be good but she’d always make it seem like everything was going to be okay.

John, however, just hearing him speak about the reality of the situation but not making it sound too cynical.  He somehow managed to find the perfect balance of optimism and realistic philosophy.

And it paid off.  By the end of the tournament I had gotten three bronze medals and a silver medal for all the categories I had decided to compete in.

As the years went by, there would also come a test that would push the Wick family to the extreme.  When I turned 14, my mom was diagnosed with an aggressive brain tumor.  There would be days when she was able to live with us and live a normal life, but there were dark days when she’d have to live in the hospital for weeks on end.

Age 15

This was one of mom’s bad weeks.  One day when John and her were out on their wedding anniversary date out in the city.  I had gotten a call from John telling me that she had collapsed when they were walking along the docks after their dinner.

However unlike before, this time the tumor had attacked her so aggressively that she now has to be on a ventilator to help her breathe properly.  The doctor’s say that even though there’s brain activity, she’s unfortunately locked in a coma-like state and it’s unknown on when she’ll wake up…..or ever.

It was also throughout this time that John and I began to lean more on each other now more than ever.  Especially when he came back into the picture out of nowhere.

It was just after school when John and I decided to visit mom in the hospital.  I had gotten my German test that he had helped me study for and I wanted to tell mom how I had aced it.  She always wanted to make sure that I never fell back on my class work no matter what events or after-school activities I had.  We arrived at the hospital parking lot and as we got out of John’s mustang, I asked him.

“Before long I’ll have to start driving, think I can practice driving the mustang?”

“Just because you passed your German exam doesn’t make you an expert on my mustang.” He told me.

“Oh come on John. I’ve been paying attention to how you shift the gears and I dare say I’m confident enough to drive it.”

“There’s a difference between confidence and arrogance.”

“That hurts John. That really hurts!” I exclaimed as I held my heart like I had been shot.

“Yeah, yeah report it to Child services. Come on.” we headed into the building and checked in to see my mom.  We walked down the familiar corridor and saw mom in the same position as she has since her check in.  Laying still and motionless on the bed.  I came up and sat beside her and took her hand in mine.

“Hey mom, we’re back. Just like we promised. Hey get this, you know that German test that John’s been helping me with? I aced it. Can you believe it, after months of struggling I finally get an A+ for that class.”

“The real credit goes to your daughter Helen. She’s the one who took the test, all I did was teach her a few tricks to remember what she needed to learn.” Said John as he sat on the other side of my mom’s bed.  Soon my mom’s doctor came in and greeted us.

“Mr. Wick, Ms. Wick.”

“Dr. Sanchez. How has she been?” John asked.

“Well some good news at least. We’ve noticed how she’s been able to now breathe on her own so we took her off the ventilator and for the past ten hours she’s been breathing just fine on her own.” We both sighed in a huge relief.

“Any signs on when she’ll wake up?” I asked.

“That unfortunately is still yet to be determined. But we’ll continue to constantly monitor her progress and we’ll call you with any new updates Mr. Wick.” He said the last part to John since he was the emergency contact for my mom.

“Thank you Dr. Sanchez, truly.” He nodded and soon left the room leaving the three of us alone.  John took his spot back at my mom’s right side while I fiddled with the new bracelet that John had gifted them for their anniversary. “You were right about the bracelet.”

“Told yah. Mom’s never been one for clunky or flashy jewelry. And it really is beautiful.” I stroked along the silver flowers that decorated the bracelet. 

“I’m gonna head down and get some coffee, you want anything from the cafeteria?”

“I’ll be okay till we get home.”

“I’ll get you some water.”

“John!” I whined.

“You don’t drink enough of it, you gotta stay hydrated.” He said standing up and circled around mom’s bed before gently shaking my head around before leaving the room.  I shook my head and said.

“He really is a great guy mom. We’ve actually been getting along more lately since you had to stay here. He’s been taking me to school, archery practice, helping out with my homework. And been the support system I needed even though he’s hurting himself. He may not want to admit out loud, but I sometimes hear him cry at night without you there. So—keep fighting mom. Please, we need you home.”

I lay my head down on her bed as I gripped her hand in both of mine as tightly as I could.

“Helen? Sarah?” I gasped as my eyes shot wide open.  I turned towards the door and there I saw someone I never expected to see ever again.  My dad.

“D-d…..d…..” I stammered.

“My god, Sarah is that really you? God look at you you’re all….”

“What the hell are you doing here?!” I snapped.  “How did you find us?!”

“I-I didn’t. My son’s here for his final chemo treatment.” His son? He went and had another kid after he abandoned me and mom? “So Helen’s got……”

“I don’t need to tell you shit!” I snapped. “Get out of here since that’s what you’re good at!”

“Sarah come on. It wasn’t my fault. I thought you were right behind me, honest!” bullshit.  He knew what he was doing that day, I’ve come to grips with it.  “That day at the mall…..”

“Don’t ever mention that day to me. I was so—so.......” my voice quivered as I tried to contain my emotions that were boiling inside of me after 8 years.

“Oh hey, hey. Don’t-don’t cry baby girl.” He tried to comfort me.  I heard his footsteps getting closer to me and once I saw his feet within my vision I pushed him back aggressively.  “Sarah!” my dad exclaimed in surprise.

“Get out.” I lowly sneered.

“Baby girl I’m trying to make things right with you.”

“Get out, get out, get out.” I kept muttering as my hand fidgeted at the door.

“Sarah I’m your father—” the second he stepped closer to me.  I lashed out with my best right hook and nailed in right across the face screaming at him.

“GET OUT!!!” I tackled him beating him with my fists.  Punching, clawing and slapping him repeatedly in a blind rage repeatedly telling him to get out through my grunts and growls.

I really don’t recall what all happened after that but I soon felt arms wrap around my waist trying to pull me away.  I tried fighting back but my arms were soon pinned to my side as I heard John’s voice suddenly break through my rage.

“Sarah enough! Easy! Easy!” I stopped and my vision became clear once again.  My dad’s face was bleeding profusely as nurses and security had now came to see what the commotion was.

John escorted me out but security tried to stop him.  There were words exchanged between the two of them before John took me out of the hospital.  All the while keeping a secure grip on me but not manhandling me.

Everything felt—numb.  The sounds of the city were muffled and I barely felt myself being moved around.  My hands wouldn’t stop shaking and my heart was pounding so fast I thought it would burst out of my chest.  Never before have I felt such rage to get me into that blind state and attack someone like that.

Next thing I knew, I suddenly felt a stinging sensation on my hand and I went to lash out but a hand stopped me and my vision suddenly became clear.  I found myself back at home with John kneeling in front of me, my wrist gently grasped in his calloused grip.

“Easy, easy. You’re home now Sarah.” Home.  Frantically my eyes looked around to see if it was true and I soon came to realize what had happened.  I was home, my real home.

Like a crack steadily increasing along a newly broken mirror, my shock suddenly began to overflow as tears rapidly fell down my face.  Immediately I wrapped my arms around John’s waist as I buried my face into his chest and wept hysterically.

“I’m sorry John….I’m so sorry John…..I-I didn’t want you to see…..” I spoke through my hysterical sobs.  John instantly wrapped his arms around me, one hand rubbing my back while the other was buried within my hair gently stroking and massaging my scalp.

“It’s okay, let it out. Just let yourself fall apart. I promise to hold you together.” He softly whispered into my ear.  The moment he had said that, I had let out the most gut-wrenching, raw, almost animalistic sob of rage, grief, self-hate, confusion, and sorrow that I had kept bottled in since the day my dad abandoned me.

And true to his word, John kept his tight yet comforting hold on me with each raw sob that came out of my mouth.

After what felt like an eternity and for doctoring up my bruised and bleeding knuckles and palm, I lay there in my room just fingering the bandaged wraps that John had placed over my wounds.  We didn’t speak after my breakdown but somehow he knew that I needed to have some alone time.

Slowly I got out of bed and headed towards mom and John’s room.  The door was shut so I went up and knocked so softly I thought he wouldn’t hear me.

“Come in.” I heard him say.  I opened the door and saw John laying across the bed.  “Hey Sarah. You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay. Can…..we talk?” John nodded and allowed me to sit on mom’s side of the bed.  I pulled my legs up to my chest as I took mom’s pillow and held it over my knees.  The faint scent of her perfume still lingered onto the pillow.  “Did she ever tell you about him?”

“Your aunt made it clear that your father was a…..sensitive subject.” Of course she did.

“I was seven years old. We were out at the mall having our monthly daddy-daughter date. He took me out to red lobster to eat, and then took me to all my favorite stores. Next thing I know as I’m looking at some video games, he’s just gone. I called out for him in the crowded mall but I couldn’t find him anywhere. It was pure luck that a mall cop found me after 20 minutes. I was so frightened and confused…….” I sniffled and wiped away the tears that were burning in my eyes.  “Why did he just leave me like that? Was it something I did or said or—And to come back after supposedly living his new life…..”

“Hey, hey.” His large hand encompassed both of mine as I was clenching mom’s pillow so tightly my knuckles were turning white.  His touch alone made me relax even though I didn’t want to.  “He had no right to suddenly come up to you after all these years. And you are not to blame for him abandoning you.”

“Then why did he do it?” I asked brokenly.

“I wish I had an answer for you. But know that no excuse he can come up with will ever justify what he did.” he wrapped his arm around me, allowing my head to rest just over his heart once again.  I shut my eyes allowing a few tears to fall drip down my face.

“You’ve been nothing but supportive and loving to me these past few years. And I never thought I’d find myself saying this but I like you John. I really, really do like you. But I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to call you…... you know. It still hurts to even say the word out loud.”

“I understand. I never expected you to come forth and call me ‘that word’ as soon as your mom and I got married. I just wanted you to know that you’ve got another person in your corner whenever you feel like you can’t talk to your mom or aunt about something.”

“Thank you John, for everything.” We looked at each other lovingly and he brought me into a tight hug.

“And can I just say, that was an impressive right hook you gave him.” I laughed as I buried my face chest and gripped onto him tighter while I felt him place a loving kiss to the crown of my head.

One last thing I’ve noticed about John were his hugs.  There truly was a difference between the way my mom hugs and the way he hugs.  Mom’s hugs were always a gentle comfort like being wrapped in a fleece blanket.

John’s hugs—well his were like a protective barrier.  Like nothing in the world could get to me and he was going to ensure it with each tight, comforting squeeze he gave.  And while it felt like my bones could pop and break any second, it felt comforting to know that such strength could be so gentle when needed to be.

[jacks347]

I MISSED THE NEW BVZ PREMIERE (THANKS JOB)

So now y'all get my live reaction! (I've never done one of these before, this is gonna be fun)

SPOILERS AHEAD IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED IT

Intro is great as always, I love this song so much

Here we go~

WHO?? WHAT??

OFF TO A STRONG START

"Lack of cooperation" My guy it's Albus, that's literally his entire thing

On your family?? YOU LEAVE FAITH OUT OF THIS (and Kerano and Devlin)

OH??

HI DEVLIN WHAT

That design is so good, Glowbat you wonder

Plot twist #1, I expect many more

We're not even 5 minutes in, this post is going to be a fucking Bible-

Does Devlin have freckles?? Did he always have freckles?? Beautiful

Oh Devlin got sassy during the break I like :P

Of course he calls for his brother, the strongest person he knows how sweet <3

Miracle of faith, in more ways than one

Oo, that sounds painful

~DINNER BREAK~

ALBUS! LANGUAGE!

Ooo scary protective Albus

"My brothers. My battalion." Oh-

Aaaaand there's the Albus we know and love XD

"Fuck you and your hat!" Pfft you leave Devlin's fedora alone XD

Oh, back to our regularly scheduled program

Waiter I'm afraid you got some capitalism in my cowboy fantasy

GIMME CROSSBOW I WANT A CROSSBOW

I don't even think Albus knows where Albus went, he just heard his brother calling and left

Ewwwww TMI Albus

LIGHTSABER?? WHO LET ALBUS PICK UP A LIGHTSABER

Oo who's at the door? And why do I not trust it-

Oh it's just Devlin-

Uh oh, Albus has to explain his family~

Hi Mahatma! I still don't entirely trust you!

Why am I playing organizing Tetris-

...oops

"Can I ask you something?" I mean you just did so-

"Do you ever feel...powerless?" Well ain't this a pleasant conversation

"Like you can't save the people you care about" WELL AIN'T THIS A PLEASANT CONVERSATION

Look at Hipswitch showing off his detective skills! I'm so proud

Oh? What's on that ship??

Oh god not more new characters-

The mafia's back that's not good-

Why is the mafia fighting the Triad I'M SCARED

THE MAFIA SHOT DOWN THE PALADIN SHIPS?? WHY?? I DON'T LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING

Another point to the man that can't even fuckin read that he's just a tad bit stupid :P

Boys, boys! You're both pretty stop yelling XD

"Interesting" is certainly a word for it Doc, wait until you hear about the woman they're both in love with-

"Caused any distress" ...do you hear yourself Devlin?

...awkward silence...

Paladins of Cindergorn eh? Looks like we are gonna learn about Faith today

Devlin being a smartypants, Hipswitch giving the most sass I've ever heard in a single sentence, this is great

Ewww I hated everything about that metaphor

"Something doesn't feel quite right" Of course it doesn't because nothing here is ever simple

WHY IS DEVLIN CHANGING COLORS??

"Is there anything else you can actually swallow?" ...Doc that is the wrong person to ask

"Oh...eugh" 10/10 Love that reaction XD

Poor Devlin, he spent enough time single-handedly running a ship-

When did Albus attempt to learn to cook?? And why??

"Don't worry about me" Faith's healer senses are tingling

"I saw you get goosebumps, did I scare you?" Honey considering how this story is going I don't think it was fear-

HIPSWITCH THIS IS NOT THE POSITION YOU WANT TO BE IN WHEN DEVLIN GETS BACK

Oh the secondhand embarrassment is crawling up my spine and it hasn't even happened yet

Please God get off of him before I explode-

And we're safe thank god

"You don't trust him at all, do you?" Would you if you were in my position?

This is really just the backstory episode isn't it

Albus, the hired gun where his last job got him killed, wasn't too keen on being a bounty hunter until he saw the paycheck. Okay that stings a little-

"I'm sure they're fine" *Cut to them being very not fine*

Devlin proudly proclaiming he can't read, 10/10 tension diffused

"We won't tell a soul, right partner?" Sir I couldn't even if I wanted to my mouth is literally just for decoration at this point (don't take that out of context-)

Destroy a sacred scripture surrounded by Paladins of Cindergorn, a certain priestess just felt her eye twitch

Yes Doc, show off that psychology degree you worked so hard for (hi I'm a psych student so it's also the degree *I'm* working so hard for)

"Is Devlin a father?" He's not just a stepdad, he's a dad who stepped up 💪 (that was so bad forgive me-)

Devlin...what did you do...

Okay I do not trust any of what just happened, what are you after Devlin?

Oh god the mafia's back

DOGS?? OH GOD PLEASE NO

NOT DOC!! ALBUS SOUNDS SO WORRIED

Show em what you're made of Albus

Don't talk to Albus like he doesn't know what being trained from birth to be someone's dog is like-

Devlin's going through it again, someone save the poor boy from his flashbacks

Y'know, Redacted being the one getting killed instead of doing the killing is rather cathartic in a bittersweet kind of way

Time to rewrite history! Again!

"What exactly can he do?" Great question, I'll tell you when I find out

Oh great, GB's back on his villain shit what piece of lore are we getting today

I don't trust that music, what's about to happen and is it a sand worm like this is Star Wars (we already had a lightsaber it wouldn't shock me)

I KNEW IT!! ASK ME HOW I KNEW GO ON ASK

WHO IS THE MAN IN THE MASK I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS

"I have someone for this kind of thing" Yes go visit your wife and her special bandage technique :D

"Is it a hooker?" "No! It's not a hooker!" He sounded so offended for her, I love that

:O Let someone else fix you up?? And betray wife?? Wait no Wife is Gienne (hello GB Twitch chat :P)

Where's Faith I saw the cast list where is she

WHAT DO YOU WANT YOU BIRD NOSE FREAK

:D KERANO BABY

Oh that art is adorable

SHE CALLS HIM DAD MY HEART IS GONNA EXPLODE

Oop there's Faith-

And Kerano calls her Mom ughhhhh I'm not gonna make it y'all

"It's been x amount of time" Kerano I love you

"Death is too good for him" Yikes

"That's a relief!" "It is?" Pfft-

Faith went from furious to worried in 2 seconds hearing about Albus, that's our girl

"You didn't tell him about your father's death" HEH?? HONEY YOU DIDN'T TELL *ME* ABOUT HIS FATHER'S DEATH WTF I THOUGHT WE WERE IN THIS TOGETHER FAITH

Oh poor Devlin :(

"I miss him, Faith" Is that the first time we've ever heard Devlin call her by her name? Back in BW he always just called her Sister

Awww hug him for me Faith

Oh yeah, Faith is the only who can actually read-

"Something called Operation Sub Delta" ...what

Oh my god don't read it Faith please god don't read it

And she's reading it-

"You just want an excuse to see him again" Oh look, he's reading the thoughts of the fandom (YES WE WANT ALBUS TO SEE HIS WIFE AGAIN SO SUE US)

"I've actually met someone" EXCUSE ME?? DEVLIN YOU HOE WHO IS IT??

"Look at my choice in men" Ah so she realizes it XD

Come on Faith, connect the dots, I know you're smart enough

And she's done it

Who is Agent and what the hell is happening

Uh oh-

They have the files of the subjects that Devlin doesn't

Which means they can use Albus like their own weapon by probing his training like Kravatas did

Oh I really don't like where this is going

WHAT??

THAT'S THE END??

YOU CAN'T JUST END IT ON THAT WHAT THE HELL

Oh my god this series really loves throwing me for loops doesn't it

OKAY ENDING THOUGHTS

Absolute 100000/10 episode GB you madlad you've done it again

Was completely worth the wait, love seeing the whole cast together again including our new players!

The art is flawless, I expected nothing less of Glowbat

Keep doing what you do you mad genius GB, I'll be holding my breath for the next one (try not to kill me I can't do another 4 months-)

[rivereverie]

My Tav

I'm hoping to eventually post some snippets / maybe a completed fic on here once I get something presentable, and I'm trying to motivate myself rather than get caught up in anxiety. So I thought I may as well informally introduce my Tav. She's very much still a work in progress, but I'm trying not to put too much pressure on myself to have her extensively fleshed-out when I only really just started actually writing her story. I made up a lot about her as I played the game, but now I'm taking that raw material and expanding upon it. Anyway, this is River:

Name: River*

Gender: She identifies as a woman and goes by she/her, but her gender isn't really crucial to her sense of identity.

Race: Half-elf

Age: Half-elf equivalent of mid-twenties

Class: Paladin (Oath of the Ancients)

Appearance: I imagine her looking a little different than her in-game version, mainly in body type and hair length, as well as some facial differences. She's about 5' 8" (Astarion won't let her forget that she's nearly a whole inch shorter than him), but not as lean and obviously muscular as the type 3 body option in-game. She's strong, but isn't as slim as the other female characters. The vanilla game doesn't have the option, but I imagine her with long wavy hair that she usually wears braided for combat and down when at rest. She has numerous scars.

Personality: She's very introverted and quiet, preferring to observe and listen than be any sort of center of attention. She's extremely good at reading and understanding others, but is rarely understood herself. She is giving to a fault, and needs to learn not to be the "therapist friend" all the time. Being high-masking autistic, she comes across as weird or just quiet to most people who don't know her. She's defined by her selflessness, empathy, and passion, though she struggles to express the latter openly. Despite her social struggles, she will stand firm when defending someone and upholding her oaths. She hates it when people (Astarion) call her a self-sacrificial paladin stereotype, because it's true.

Overview:

She is pretty similar to Wyll in a lot of ways, in that she wears the mask of the protector, always putting everyone else first, driven by compassion. While she becomes extremely attached to her companions very quickly, she struggles greatly to form the genuine, profound connection she desires. She doesn't like to talk about her past because though she craves emotional intimacy like a drug, it also terrifies her.

She's a paladin, sworn to the Oath of the Ancients, because she feels fundamentally like an outsider. In her mind, if she can't belong among people, at least she can protect and care for them from afar. Chronic self-isolation has led her to feeling extremely off-balance once this group of tadpole-infested weirdos decides that she's the person to follow around the wilds of Faerun looking for a cure. She has never been accepted as a leader of any kind before, so she's uncertain, but finds drive in the fact that people are putting their faith in her. She would give anything to not let them down.

River finds Astarion intriguing from the beginning, and immediately wants to get through to him. She can see the mask he wears, even when others insist on taking him at face value. She doesn't support his more sadistic tendencies, but she sees the good in him from early on, and can tell there's much more to his story. Him being a vampire isn't that big of a deal to her; she is practical, and has a good sense of his character by then. She feels understanding and care for him more than anything else, so she puts her trust in him. (Interesting, considering her oaths, as the forces of nature aren't too keen on undead... Foreshadowing?) She ends up falling for Astarion in act 2 because of how he's finally opening up a bit, and she can see the soft, bright, passionate, incredibly strong man he is under the facade. After a whole lot of patience and consistent support, of course. Astarion shows time and time again that he seems to accept and understand River in a way nobody else, even their other companions, ever has. They're the one person in each other's lives who has never judged the other. Well, Astarion judges and openly mocks her plenty in the beginning for her bleeding heart, but never for the things she feels that deep-rooted shame over, like her autistic traits.

They're both learning together what it means to form connection after a lifetime of disconnect and loneliness, in a world that does not accept either of them without conditions. They may look like opposites to those who don't realize that their asymmetry is simply reflection. They challenge each other in the best ways, and deep down, they know a lot of the same pain. It sounds cheesy, but I think they balance each other out in a way that pushes them both to be better, braver people.

I'm currently working on a fic that I think will consist of several chapters occurring at important and illustrative points in both the game's narrative and their relationship. River has a lot of growth across the story in terms of self-acceptance, confronting her relationship with her Oaths, connecting, and reclaiming her identity. I love writing her and Astarion in any given situation, not to mention her relationships with the other companions. She's far from my best-written or most unique original character, but I care about her and her story. I'm trying to take my time and not put pressure or judgement on myself, and to just have fun with it. I'm also on the verge of committing to a post-game fic about Astarion and River, which I have SO many ideas for, involving tons of fluff, healing, Astarion's bucket list of "Things I Want To Do Now That I'm Not Slave To An Evil Vampire Lord", and plenty of interesting vampiric chaos in the Underdark. That story will be a bigger commitment, but I feel so inspired to write it. Something about writing her and Astarion is just so comforting to me.

While this character is very much like me in a lot of ways, she's also different in crucial ones, and I think I'm learning a lot by writing her.

(Now, I'm on my way to starting a Dark Urge playthrough, and I have some Ideas of how River could fit perfectly in that role, from what I know about the resist Dark Urge storyline. The angst and metaphors would be dialed up to 100. With some backstory changes, it could work really well, I think. So don't be surprised if she potentially becomes a Dark Urge AU version of herself in the future haha. Writing fanfic has been so freeing because I can just DO that if i want to. My character can be fluid. There are no rules. Hells yeah.)

*(I came up with her name before I even got the game, and so her name being in the main theme song makes it seem cheesy but I don't care lol)

[squeakyleftsneaker]

Watching Voltron for the 1st Time: S6 Ep. 1-3

Oh brother. Oh dawg. Oh my fucking god. We've really reached this point in time. If you're stumbling across this and thinking to yourself "What on earth possessed you to take this cross upon your shoulders?" This is the epic backstory in a longass post. If you don't want to read that, I tutor a kid, kid likes this show, I said I'd check it out, kid got really excited. Also, now that I've sunk too much life into this fresh pile of shit, I need to see it through to the end. Cannot BELIEVE we're six seasons in bro.

Fine. Okay. Sure

Lance and I are on the same page abt Lotor

Sure let's learn about the Galra whatever this is an acceptable exposition form of things

FINALLY LEARNED WHAT VREPIT SA MEANS

They really could've set up this Shiro Is Compromised bit much better but I am happy they've finally remembered they have to keep it going. Which presumably means it'll be resolved soon enough bc I don't think they have forethought skills on the level of consistent foreshadowing more than like. Half an episode.

Keith's hot mom omfg I'm giggling and kicking my feet and shit Keith shut up and do what she tells you

WOW the abyss is beautiful. It's gorgeous. Again, these artists man. They've really cooked up some of the most gorgeous visuals in service of MID.

Oh cool Shiro and Keith are going to fight.

KROLIA IS MOTHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR waow

Whales in space bro. I fuck w it.

Choosing to believe that this yeehaw rootin of tootin man with an eyebrow slit was the one pregnant with Keith

I actually kinda like these flashbacks but they are still SO reliant on just telling us shit in it.

DOG SPACE DOG FLUFFY CUTE LIL SPACE DOG OH YES FABULOUS GIMME EIGHTY MILLION OF THEM WITH THIS TIME PASSING MONTAGE OH AND IT TELEPORTS OH DEUX EX PUPPY I LOVE YOU

Also lmfao they aged Keith up now they can Korrasami ending homo him with literally any of the guys in the cast no problem (if they do this it is LAZY writing)

Yay! D&D!

SHIRO JUST PLAYING HIMSELF IN D&D BITCH I KNOW YOUR TYPE OF PLAYER I KNOW WHAT TF YOU ARE love his lil tiara I LOVE HIM YOU FUCKING DORK

"I'm going to be a Paladin again" CRYING HE'S SUCH A NERD I WANNA SHOVE HIM IN A LOCKER AND GIVE HIM A HUG

Lance is a FURRY???????

PLEASE HOW MANY TIMES IS SHIRO GOING TO DIE (in D&D and fr in the show)

"I wanna be a Paladin again" DAMN RIGHT U DO BABY

New Heights Of Skill Issue

If they'd made Lotor seem even VAGUELY trustworthy these episodes would work much better

Again I CANNOT believe that this show sets up the fact that Voltron is acting at the behest of Lotor and NEVER explores it. Lotor is set up to be a fascie-lite colonial wannabe! They're working for the fucking ruler of this horrible empire when he's made NO real reform efforts! They've become a symbol for HIM too and the show does NOTHING with that and like. WHY????????? WHY NOT

That's Not How Welding Works I'm Not Even GOOD At Welding And I Can Tell You That

Allura is Jesus and she will die for our sins ig but also I'm PISSED at this show for what they've done to her so she can be with Lance man FOR FUCKING WHYYYYYY

Just because you've letting Keith's hot mom do the exposition doesn't mean I'm going to forget you're doing a LOT of exposition

KROLIA UR MAN IS MY WORST ENEMY

JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE DOING IT WITH MY HOT ALIEN QUEEN DOESN'T MEAN I FORGIVE COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF EXPOSITION THROUGH FLASHBACK

ALSO THAT MAN??? MID. KROLIA PLEASE JUST GIVE ME ONE CHANCE ONE SINGULAR CHANCE

They're telling us Lance has never really liked someone that she's not like any other girl and like. YOU COULD'VE SHOWN US

Lance has Miami Cuban Energy [derogatory] in this episode (and yes before you get mad on my ass I am hispanic and no you don't get more details than that. Trust I know the Miami Cuban energy WELL and I have earned my ability to poke fun at them)

I'm just kinda annoyed at how much they've relied on TELLING us everything about Lance. HE'S OUR AUDIENCE STAND-IN! HE IS US! WE SHOULD KNOW ABOUT HIM !!!!

Micexposition is STILL not forgivable to me

Do I think a D&D episode is a good use of our time when this season has six episodes, none character, and left exposition? No. But I like D&D so ig whatever

I'm screaming WE GET D&D EXPOSITION? WE NEED EXPOSITION TO FUCKING PLAY DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS? I COULD MAKE A BETTER D&D CAMPAIGN WITH THE CONCEPT OF THIS SHOW THAN THEY CAN MAKE A SILLY LITTLE D&D EPISODE IM SO

Lance is a FURRY???????

This was a massive waste of time but oh well I had a good time

THE SCIENCE TECHNOBABBLE IN THIS SHOW PISSES ME OFF SM FR GUYS I'M SO

Guys this show is so dumb. SOOOOOO dumb. But I do really like D&D. Dearly. Anyway let's discuss the Implications.

If, say, a competent, patient, and unskillissued writer were to look at Voltron, the easiest and by far smartest way to handle "Voltron aligns with Lotor" would be to have them interact with a previously subjugated planet rebelling from the empire. Have Voltron split off from Lotor who is doing some weird emperor shit, have Voltron go check it out, and have the locals respond VERY NEGATIVELY to Voltron because, well, they're with Lotor!

Have Voltron really get to grips with what they're coming to represent! Have them have to realize from the people they used to really help that they've become a symbol of the status quo of subjugation! The Omega Shield episode was such a waste of time bc it's highly conciliatory to the Galra.

When Lotor said "That's one of our labor planets" IT SHOULD'VE BEEN POINTED OUT THAT THEY CANONICALLY HAVE LABOR CAMPS! FOR PRISONERS!

Allura has been so nerfed to make her Need Lance and Lance has just been shuffled off into "Makes snarky comments at Lotor and mopes over Allura" territory (one of those is needed bc Lotor sorely needs someone to punch him) which sucks because again, I cannot stress enough, he's the audience character. We are supposed to get him. He is supposed to be our character.

Idk. Keith is just there now he's honestly kinda dead to me bc my loyalties are solely to his hot mom, but ig they aged him up bc they can't decide what to do with him. Which. Clearly. We can tell bub. I am intrigued by them finding Even More Alteans like sure what the hell why not but also let's get a GRIP bro and let's put ourselves together. The inevitable Shiro fight is happening this season because these writers can't fucking plan for more than 2 seconds without just doing it anyway.

The main thing I liked from this is just that Shiro really is a massive dork and he's a big nerd and I want to shove him in a locker or shove his head in a toilet or something wow he's adorable. Love him. I think it's a shame they haven't bothered to do too much with him on the whole in the way I think it's a shame they haven't bothered to do much with Keith the whole time. The only established interpersonal connection on this show and they've really squandered it by NOT HAVING ANYTHING HAPPEN.

We shall debrief at the end of this season which I intend to finish TODAY.

[c0mbatmuff1n]

My Tavs, a Rant & Info Dump...

I have five main Tavs who I include in al l my fanfics. Each of them has an absurd amount of lore and research. All my tavs are supposed to be opposites of their companion or reflect something ugly about them. I am also currently making some lore for seldarine drows with my drow ocs, becuase I do not believe there is enough lore if they are supposed to be a homebrew race by Larian to be different from their lolth sworn drow race. I am not doing the last two yet because I want to make their lore as well as play their perspective romances.

Ashla Diedas- The Redeemer of the Whispering Children

Ashla Diedas is written to be Oghma (the god of knowledge & civilization) current youngest daughter, he has 24 or 25 confirmed children. She is a redeemer paladin because she is trying to redeem her older demigod siblings from Cyric (the god of lies, trickery, & strife) who were turned into paintings. She grew up in Waterdeep at the same time as Gale, reading ALL about his greatness.

Ashla is my "Mary Sue" like character. IN FACT, that's how she looks like to all of the companions until the end of Act 1 when it is revealed that she is not only a weak exarch (from my research they are like catholic saints and demigods, which I thought was perfect because I wrote it, so Oghma had no more demigod children), but she is reckless with her own life not understanding the weight of mortality despite wanting to and longing to be mortal.

Her overall story is accepting her divinity and learning how to use it to help others, instead of letting it waste away. I wanted to write it showing how if one is ascending not for themselves but for others, it's not necessarily a bad thing. She is supposed to be the opposite of how Gale ascends, so while he ascends for himself because he is afraid of dying and being mortal much like other wizard characters such as Lorroakan; Ashla earns it through her sacrifice. I will NOT be saying what said sacrifice is because it would spoil the fanfic ending. :3

BUT Ashla has two main endings, becoming a demigoddess in her good endings relearning her love for Gale where the two have a proper courtship and then a bad ending where she is punished by her god before ascending with Gale to become the goddess of naivety and storytelling.

Asteria Buwan- Darling of the Coast

Asteria Buwan is a runaway noble from Baldur's Gate. She was in a very unhappy marriage. She was two years older than Wyll Ravenguard. When she heard about Wyll the stories were he just ran away from the city abandoning it and its people, I do believe that Ulder loved him enough to not taint him in a bad light which made him an evil warlock. She was envious of him, being able to run away from the noble life so after being in an abusive marriage for five years she runs away to be a bodyguard for a pirate captain. (Her story is a bit underdeveloped because I have not yet completed her run, and I am trying to figure out a way to write Wyll a better evil end).

She is also written to be with my friend's redeemed Dark Urge Agnar. They were childhood friends, but he was dragged away to be raised by the cult when they were both only nine. She marries a much older man who abuses her for years. When she runs away, she tries to change everything about herself, from facial tattoos & facial piercings to weight gain (My mod for plus size tavs is not working atm). She is in fact one of my only straight characters even though she is in fact scared of them.

Asteria starts out with extremely heavy armor to show that she hates herself because of her husband, but as she discovers herself as a fighter, she loses the armor for leather and light armor revealing herself to the world. She is a berserker barbarian who gets her rage from men underestimating her or from people who are sexist towards her. Her overarching story is learning to accept help and finding the beauty of femineity in violence and through kindness. Her endings aren't done yet because I want to rewrite one of Wyll's endings.

Solasta Dyrr- Noble of the Underdark

Solasta Dyrr is the youngest child of the noble drow family of Dyrr. She was never meant to rule the family. She was never meant to be the heir of the family. In fact, she spent her time learning magic and preforming as a bard. However, when her older twin Esmeray is killed, she is thrusted into the role of heiress. Believing she is the wrong person for this role at the age of 65 she runs away from home to finish her dream of becoming a performer.

Before the events of bg3 Solasta spends her times in taverns, each dot on her face is a performance she does in the name of her sister. Who always said she would become one of the greatest performers in Faerûne, so to honor Esmeray it has led to a ritual of doing dots across her face and then when she meets Astarion he even helps her with this ritual starting act 2.

Solasta is a Sword College Bard and Bladesong Wizard. She is supposed to be written as the polar opposite of Asteria; growing up in a society where women are in charge and men are the ones who are seen lower on the food chain. Solasta is running away from responsibly which is her birthright while Asteria runs away with her life. This is scene the most in her two endings which is leading the spawn with Astarion back into the Underdark and leading her people, and in the ending where he ascends, she becomes his vampiric bride, but he also mocks her by making her, his jester.

[lazybulette]

SIX(+) SONG SOUNDTRACK

Oh boy this is gonna be... interesting. Thank you for the tag @squidgang! I am suddenly very glad I have actually completed full playlists for Krii and Whisp both.

If you want to listen to their full playlists, I posted them here.

As for tagging people - if you see this and think it sounds fun, go for it!

So, without further ado (this is gonna get long)...

Update: There will be a part 2, bc there is a video-per-post limit. Give me a bit.

Kriivah

Event that defines your character's past

Predator & Prey by Griffin Puatu

Raised for death and locked away Awaits the wretch without a name Saved by grace, the father's hand Wear thy face and guide my plan Brace yourself the world awaits A face that fosters fear and hate The taste of flesh and love forlorn With bated breath a beast is born And no one cares to know A place where no one dares to go Mmm, adorned in red and gray The predator and prey Sleep my child and hide your tears Embrace the wild and face your fears Placed on high and watched so close You'll leave behind what you love most

Okay, starting off with this. A lot of Krii's upbringing was done in the Bhaal temple, they were rather little when they were brought in by Sceleritas. There were high expectations placed on their shoulders, and they were very closely watched - esp as they were rebellious at first and tried to break free (including the one time they joined a paladin order), which never ended well. Eventually they gave up, and from that moment onwards they were molded by Bhaal.

Needless to say, they had to hide anything that could be percieved as a weakness. Such as tears.

Needless to say, their upbringing at Bhaal's temple plays a huge part in what they became.

How your character sees themselves

The Wolf in Your Darkest Room by Matthew Mayfield

I am the reason The reason for you You can only breathe because I let you Come to your senses Wake from your dream I am the wolf in your darkest room And I just want to taste you on my teeth And clawing at your neck to feed my needs

This is a fun one. Kriivah... does not consider themself a good person. They call themself a wretched thing, an unlovable carcass, the list goes on - they see themselves as something monsterous. They do not consider being a monster a bad thing, mind you, just a fact. They know their friends would not approve of their desires, so they keep it on the down low, but that does not change the fact that the Urge is more a siren song to them than something terrifying.

I keep saying that Kriivah is not good. And I guess I get to prove it haha. The thing is, they know it. And they have no desire to change themselves, merely acting within their friends moral boundraries to make them happy because they like making their friends happy.

How others view them

Learning To Be Lost by Shayfer James

I am satisfied, sleeping peacefully An iron ghost with eyes closed I am a plagiarized autobiography, a wreckage A shipwreck in sheep's clothes, oh Be patient with me, I am learning to be lost Don't be gentle, never gentle Be mindful of me, I will sink at any cost [...] To the fury of a tacit turncoat mercenary, maelstrom It is not safe to float I will anchor in the aftermath of no one, of no one

Ah, something I always struggle somewhat with, especially putting to music. This is probably the closest I will get, for all that I also have it down for a song about them after their amnesia. And this is specifically how their friends post-amnesia see them - they are lost, trying to piece themself together all the while learning new things (like morals) from their friends. They don't see much of the monster that they are.

Needless to say, those before their amnesia did not see that when they saw Kriivah. For that, I think this is more fitting...

Dark Matter by Les Friction

I am the keeper I am the secret I am the answer I am the end [...] I am dark matter Your road to ruin I am dark matter I'm your undoing

To (most) who knew them prior to their amnesia, they were not simply a person. They are the child of a deity, they were going to bring about the death of the world. They were dignified, proud, and brutal. Few actually knew them - a few of their cultists (who still worshipped them as the bringer of the end), and some very key individuals who had very different views of them.

Their closest relationship (platonic or romantic)

We’re In This Together by Nine Inch Nails

You and me We're in this together now None of them can stop us now We will make it through somehow You and me If the world should break in two Until the very end of me Until the very end of you [...] Well, they've got to kill what we found Well, they've got to hate what they fear Well, they've got to make it go away Well, they've got to make it disappear The farther I fall I'm beside you As lost as I get I will find you The deeper the wound I'm inside you For ever and ever I'm a part of You and me [...] You're the queen and I'm the king Nothing else means anything

So I could have gone for their best friends (Karlach and Wyll) or Gortash. And I do have a Kriitash playlist (which you can find here if you are curious)...

Ultimately, this is a song I've made note for Kriivah and Gortash. It is such a... It's a relationship that never truly dies - Kriivah may not remember him, but the feelings don't go away just because they lack context, and Kriivah falls hard and fast when they fall. Before the memory loss it was something codependent, built on unyielding devotion, and just one step away from toxicity. Needless to say, it is not something that can be shaken easily.

This relationship is something I am constantly turning over in my head, so of course I had to natter about it here, heh.

A major fight scene

Hunt You Down by Hit House

So death is coming To purge this town I know your name And I'm gonna cut you down You can run You can hide You can pray But I'm gonna cut you down I don't bring forgiveness I don't bring peace I've come to slay you Come to kill the beast I'll search the shadows You wear like a crown You know it's coming And I'm gonna hunt you down

I have no real song for a specific fight, but when it comes to Orin... Well, needless to say that Kriivah is vengeful, and once they have a face (and name) to put to the architect of their disgrace, this embodies their thoughts and intentions.

End credits song

Life Is Beautiful by Shayfer James

My friends, I've found a passage out of here I've become a messenger of fate The beast is dead, the road ahead is clear So raise a glass, we've cause to celebrate [...] I think I see the sunlight peeking through The time of fear and feebleness is done I'll become a legend thanks to you [...] And if another comes You go ahead, I'll meet you there [...] Life is beautiful Drink to the dawn, we'll be home Life is beautiful Save all your prayers while we're gone Cause life is Beautiful

After the end, Kriivah is free. There is no one in control of them, all they give they give willingly - and as such, life is beautiful.

Also, some songs need to be cheerful, haha.

[divine0rdainment]

MORE IDEAS FOR MY HAZBIN DND CONCEPT,

I came up with names for all the player characters and backstories, and a bit about them, gotta try and write this before I go back to work

Angel plays Estrella Angelo (Elven Bard), and her backStory consists of her being stuck as a Fae lords property for hundreds of years till she escaped and is now on the run to try and have her own life and potentially find what's left of her family, mostly her twin sister (again, y'all know why)

Adam plays Father Adonis Edens (Human Paladins who doesn't use healing spells), a priest raised under the holy light of the God of lights church, who fights for justice, music, and badassery. (Total main character syndrome but Charlie and Luci help curb it over time) Also as he levels up, charlie is nice enough to give him an item that lets him have golden wings for one hour a day in game when he learns to not be such a main character type.

Lucifers plays Ramsey Leclair (Nonbinary Changeling Wizard), the Changeling grew up in the fae wild and lived having a party every day, but chose himself to study magic till he became a wizard, and honestly doesn't even know how old he is due to the fae wild being a little Wonky time wise. That ill they met a human woman warlock named Lyla and she was the one who convinced him to leave the Fae wild to be with her, so they leave and have a kid and raise the kid till she moves out and then one day, while happily married she vanished and after waiting months, he goes out in to the world to try and find her.

Husk has Mittan Von Wiskerz (Tabaxi Rouge) big gambling problem and is indeed to a gang of thugs in a very large city and is adventuring against his well to try and get enough money to pay back his debts or they will kill him. (Angel came up with this backstory, name, class and race btw, cuz Husk didn't wanna do it)

Vaggies plays Silvana Elawise (Half Elf Fighter) who used to be a knight who served the Elven Princess Iris, till one day, Iris, is struck with a curse to turn her to stone till someone can find the cure. Of course Silvana is the first to volunteer to adventure out for a cur for this affliction, needing to save the woman she loves.

Alastors character is named Alistair LaRose, (cuz Alastor didn't wish to come up with a better name it seems -_-) And didnt wish to come up with a backstory at first, but later he desided to come up with the idea that his demon that he worships sends him on a quest to collect souls of others and the only legal way to get away with murder and killing so many monsters and animals is by being an adventure, if he doesnt give enough souls he will loose his powers.

That's all I got time for right now but I may add more tomorrow if I get more ideas

Anyone have any campaign name ideas 😅

[wearepaladin]

Paladin! I need some ideas on how to incorporate religion into my games beyond just healing services. I want culture, ritual and holidays. I really need this for my Blood Elf Paladin in Warcraft. Please and thank you for all you do for the community ❤️

Interesting. Well, it’s been a minute since I either played Warcraft and Burning Crusade, but I do recall a fair bit about the Blood Elf Paladins as they were introduced into the setting. IE, how they captured and bound an angelic being/nary and forcibly harnessed its power to channel the Light as a conduit from it or its absence before the Sunwell was eventually restored. Up until that point, the Blood Knights were less a holy order and more of a vengeful cadre of warriors, not above desecration of holy traditions to flex their superiority.

They would eventually find their way back to a more traditional Paladin order and rejoin the greater brotherhood of the Silver Hand, but if I were the DM of a setting where this occurred, I’d love to explore what it means to be part of a previously bitter and hostile group coming to grips with being enablers of a parasitism and supremacy driven violence learning how to accept compassion back into their hearts. Your order therefore is confused as you are on how best to proceed. Even healing arts limited to purely martial circumstances need to be relearned to better treat a wider range of illnesses than simple injury.

There are ceremonies to oversee, coming of age, weddings, baptisms (The Sunwell being the ideal font), funerals, etc. There’s finding a cohesive message to share in general, and more personal journeys. I think there’s a lot soul searching in action here that would be fun to orchestrate, really.

[styrmwb]

I beat Final Fantasy Tactics Advance

This might be the longest game from start to finish I've ever played

Not in the sense that this is a long game but in the fact that this is the first real game I ever played (I'm sorry, I'm not considering pc learning programs for baby), and it took me approximately 18-19 years to get around to Finally beating it. It's very funny to say that my first experience into gaming was a strategy game. I also think that somewhere, deep down in my heart, this planted the seed for what games I ended up loving in my present. Experiencing this game with an adult mind was ALMOST a fresh experience, yet I uncovered a lot of old memories and experiences during it.

This game is goddamn addicting. I Genuinely had so much trouble putting it down at times because I just Kept Wanting To Play. Let me explain to you my thoughts :)

Gameplay

I love RPGs to the bottom of my heart; HOWEVER. I have Always Always Always HATED gear management. I don't think I ever truly appreciated it in a game until Final Fantasy IX, where equipping gear and holding onto it taught you abilities permanently. It made me care about my gear and when to equip it more than just stat buffs and "yeah I guess I'll get fire immunity whatever". I LOVE that system so much. Another system that I love to the bottom of my heart (also an FF Classic but Dragon Quest gave me this too) is the job/class system. The freedom of changing my characters to be whatever I want and to mix and match their abilities is so fun and leads to a lot of flavor and mechanics. Final Fantasy V does it the best imo. So what do I get here? I get 2 of my favorite RPG mechanics of all time put into one!!! The reason this game is so addicting is it's basically to me character building simulator. I am constantly thinking about job paths, what I want each of my guys to be, how much time am I putting them in battles and spreading across their usage and swapping gear to maximize AP gains and make a small army of broken warriors. It's an absolute joy. The base gameplay is super solid too which helps. I mean, I love strategy RPGs (I am, unfortunately, a Fire Emblem bitch), so you literally can't go wrong with it.

I loved the jobs in this game. In fact, I'm gonna be a big nerd and tell you about my whole clan because this is MY post and I make the rules

Marche - Paladin/Fighter: World's Strongest Child. Fighter's damage output is insane, and has a wide range of abilities that helped out with its accuracy or distance, as well as just some meaty hits to annihilate. I went into Paladin just for some extra defense, and was also blessed with some good support skills and a stupid strong nuke in Holy Blade.

Montblanc - Mog Knight/Juggler: To be real here, I fucked up with this dude. I Did Not know what I wanted to do with him, and messed his stats up a little as a result. But Juggler is such a good support unit, especially with Dagger's disable + damage and Smile's instant turn ratio. Mog Knight did not perform how I wanted it to, but it has funny ability names.

Nikolai - Hunter/Archer: As I mentioned before, I'm a Fire Emblem bitch; and what that means is that I'm used to archers sucking shit (fuck you Python hit your damned shots). I was NOT expecting the bowman here to be as goated as he was. The utility of the aim abilities from damage boosting to disabling the enemy, as well as hunt's huge monster damage, this dude was a prime stay throughout the entire playthrough.

Chelney - Dragoon/Gladiator: This guy took a bit to load up, but once he did, holy shit. Absolute damage demon. Dragoon's wide range of AOE abilities + spear usage given some extra strength and smaller focus when needed from Gladiator, on top of the insane movement I gave him meant I had a Bangaa missile land wherever I wanted it to.

Eugene - Sage/White Mage/Beastmaster (when needed): Another unit I didn't really do optimally. White Mage is obviously a great support as it always is, but I genuinely thought Sage was gonna be a support type. Instead I got some damage skills (which to be fair were nice to have) that were super rare to find and didn't feel really BEEFY. Beastmaster was mostly there to support the Blue Mage.

Gertrude - Red Mage/Summoner: The early playthrough goat and 1/2 of the reason why I think Viera units are the best units in the game. Red Mage's wide variety of abilities came in clutch, as well as the bit of Fencer I gave her at first to cover both magic and physical. Then came Summoner, which was just "haha drop a big explosion". THEN I got Doublecast. "HAHA DROP TWO BIG EXPLOSIONS". Very very very fun unit, I just wish she actually managed to hit more. I blame myself for not giving her more movement to get behind the enemy.

Skimble - Time Mage/Black Mage: The epitome of a glass cannon, Poor Skimble could nuke anyone he saw but kept constantly getting targeted and killed. I actually did really like this mix of jobs because he could pull off support and damage well whenever I needed.

Gotwald - Bishop/White Monk: Not the most used unit, but a VERY fun combination of jobs. Bishop is like, Good Sage, with its healing and damage magic, and then the White Monk abilities balanced it out with some physical attacks as needed and Revive. Thematically it all balances out very well, I loved this.

Gallahad - Ninja: Another unit I didn't really know what to do with. He started out as a thief but I never really liked stealing in games (mainly cause it just never seemed worth the trouble). It was worth it to get to Ninja, though. His damage output, especially once I unlocked Double Sword was insane. The utility of Ninja Skills are also awesome, I just wish he could land them.

Agatha - Assassin/Sniper: I lied when I said Gertrude was 1/2 of what convinced me Vieras were the best. Agatha is 5/6ths of what convinced me of this fact. Having her in Sniper was already really solid with Doubleshot, Death Scythe, Aim:Weapon, etc (a really funny combo was dooming someone then using Montblanc to speed up their turns and thus their demise.) But then Assassin? Holy shit. Literally just instantly killing anything across the field, dashing around at mach speed, everything in her range. Once I mastered Ultima Buster and gave her back a greatbow, everyone was just "am I going to Last Breath or Ultima Buster you? You get one shot either way". Insane unit.

Karl - Gunner/Animist: This is such a fun long range hide in the back of the map combo. Gunner has surprisingly crazy damage, and it can keep up that damage AND cause statuses. Animist rounds it out nicely with the self heal and AOE attacks (oh I can't shoot you? Get Chocobo'd, idiot.)

Nobel - Blue Mage/Fighter: This is a Blue Mage that is 1000% worth the investment. You don't even need all the spells. Matra Magic is one of the funniest spells in a strategy game I've ever used, and even beyond that I had Twister and Dragon Force. Fighter was there to give them extra meat for their attack based spells, as well as no MP options because Damage > MP is a thing and is good.

That was my clan, and I feel like most everyone got their time to shine (even if certain bunnies and lizards got a little more than others). There are some jobs I wish I got to experience a little more but I just couldn't put the investment into it. Illusionist and Alchemist are a couple that I think I could have cooked with in an alternate timeline; Templar as well. Gadgeteer scares me, but a luck based affect everyone class is really funny conceptually. I also really appreciated how throughout the game, the base jobs weren't always invalidated, and they had their place when needed.

I think building characters, while it is the part I enjoyed the most through the game, is very much sunk cost. You gotta just invest in your guys from the get go cause nobody you recruit later is going to even out just due to amount of abilities.

Other gameplay things I liked: customizable map is really cool. I ended up going with an optimized guide just cause I wanted treasure and I know I don't play games more than once often so I was going for full 100%, but as a replayability feature it's SO cool. I also actually quite enjoyed the little bit of time management that was there; it reminded me of Persona. Hold off to accept this mission cause I can't make it in time to do these other couple, plan out my optimal route to hit as many or as little battles as I could in this period. Map navigation was an actual part of the game which was cool.

The Law system gives me feelings so complicated. Thematically, it's very cool and fits in perfectly in the world (or I should say the world is built around it very well.) And theoretically, it really gives you incentive to switch around your units and plan out their growth. But in my experience, 80% of the time it was just annoying? (which again, flavor wise, VERY accurate). Like there were times where I got hit with "do not hit animals go to jail" on a mission I did not know was exclusively full of animals. I also don't think they were the clearest things at times, and you really do just have to get punished to find out the limits of stuff. It's not The Worst, but I don't think I had a lot of fun with it. Except when it prevented the enemies from doing something that was hilarious. Stupid Illusionist can't do anything when target all is illegal lmfao

To tie in two previous points, I think Jagds were a very cool area. The trade off of no laws but for permadeath is neat, and those zones actually gave me fear and made me try to plan and prepare when I went around them. I also have a memory of my childhood playthrough losing my favorite guy so I didn't want a repeat of that hahaha. But I think the permadeath eventually becomes WAY more of a punishment than it should be due to how hard raising a character is. One wrong move, and the guy you put dozens of hours and AP into is gone. I will say, this game absolutely made me anal about saving constantly, so that might be good? Maybe?

Two things I can strictly say I disliked, were the randomness and dispatch missions/mission items. When it comes to randomness, I feel like I was really blocked out of certain things just because I couldn't get the units or items I wanted. I didn't get the chance to recruit a second Viera for so long, which sucks when jobs are race based. (I read somewhere that it was based off month but I found that out way too late). Items as well; when abilities are locked to gear, you Need gear to reach potentials. But I barely got any Sage weapons, I was losing out on a lot of ice magic cause I just couldn't get the items, and I literally never got to figure out how to steal said weapons cause I didn't get the weapon to do that. It bothered me. Mission items are the absolute bane of my existence. I HATED them. You need them for so many missions, but those missions will appear WAY before you can even get the items, and some items are one time get only meaning you can screw yourself out of everything, which I hated. Yes, I know that if I was playing this back in the day (and if I had friends when I was playing this back in the day), you could trade and link for items, but as a solo player, it just doesn't work. The mystery difficulty of dispatch missions sucked too. I had to look up the formula just to figure out how to make something guaranteed to win.

I think this wins the award for Game With Gameplay I Actually Really Cared For And Had Opinions About 2024

Story + Characters

As a kid, I really didn't think about the story at all even though I could read it just fine. I was just a small one who named his character ABCDabcdef and had fun moving my guys around (also god damn I was a lot smarter than I thought considering how far I got) My adult brain though, was actually able to appreciate what this game was. I think it offers a really interesting inversion on the Isekai genre, before the Isekai genre even blew up. What if the main character wanted to go home? For a GBA game in 2003, I feel like this was surprisingly... profound? is that the word? I'm not saying it was the greatest piece of media ever written, in fact I think there were a couple areas where I would have liked a little more clarification/details, but like, for what it is. It's really cool.

Marche I think is an interesting character. He felt very... responsible. Like "haha ok guys we had our fun but we Need to go back." He was able to call the bullshit on the world, and try to pull everything back to reality. I felt this even further reading about his backstory and relationship to his family. Sure, he had freedom, but he dedicated his effort To his brother, and his mother, to make them happy, even at the cost of his own. He's a character that I very much appreciated and related to. Although, I think I would have liked more to his motivation. A stronger reason behind his intense want to go home.

Ritz and Doned were fine. I like them, but there isn't much To them. Ritz was a cool, strong character who I liked how she never backed down from her wants, and Doned hit close to my heart, being a very accurate younger brother; and I felt for him, "gaining" the health he always wanted. I really liked the scene between him and Marche fighting about what the other has. But they didn't get to show up much, which stinks, and in Ritz's case especially I wish her motivation was a little stronger.

Mewt I think was the perfect character to cause this story and this world. I completely understood his struggles between the bullying and the loss of his mother, seeing the struggles of his father, and wanting that all to go away, dealing with, or more aptly NOT dealing with the pain by running away from it. His mental state literally shaped the world, from the laws of the land to creating an overpowered coping mechanism in the form of him but backwards (fuck you Llednar you're too damn strong).

This game has a good Cid. I expected him to be a shithead, but in the real world he was just depressed and in Ivalice he was actually really honorable.

Montblanc and Shara were both good friends to their respective child, but I do wish they both had a little more background/depth. (I also wish that Shara hit literally any of her shots come on I wasted a unit slot on you)

Both the Nu Mou surprised me; Babus actually made me feel for the dude, clearly caring about his prince and fighting for him; his behavior and appearance made me think he was Mewt's stuffed animal given life. Ezel's fucking hilarious, this dude said FUCK the government, laws are no fun at all. I love that dude so much.

I don't have much to say about Remedi, as she's literally an extension of Mewt. She serves her role as being that physical incarnation of a metaphysical concept to plunge your sword into that every FF game needs.

To kinda summarize my point, I did like everything, and I thought there were a lot of cool concepts. The game made me feel feelings, it plucked at my heart a little. But it's not as deep as I would have liked, I don't think. Granted, this is a GBA game. I'm not expecting Shakespeare or anything, but if we ever got a remake or something? I'd love some expansion.

Apart from the main story, I actually quite enjoyed the background story of Clan Borzoi. These guys are being menaces, you defeat them, and through reading the rumors and dispatch missions, you find out their leader runs away in a boat you helped him with, only for him to come back 4x as evil, bringing fiends and becoming a fucking vampire. It was honestly a joy and a side plot that Did Not need to be there but I loved.

The post game 100% completion judge storyline was fun too. We get more Cid screentime AND we get to fight against the law being shitty and corrupt which you always love to see.

Art

I love this game's art style and direction. The portraits, the way everyone looks, is so fun, it's cartoony and unique. The monster designs are so special yet still recognizably classic. The game itself is really colorful and vibrant which makes it a joy to look at, especially as I can't tear myself away from playing it.

Even the animations just make me really happy to look at, although I recognize part of that is nostalgia. The spells are fun, like the demi squishy circle, or the Illusionist full screen hellfests (Stardust is the best one). Even the summon animations, for being on a GBA game, had that classic FF sense of grandness, power, and being over the top. I love looking at this game.

Music

It's amazing how even through the GBA sounds, this is very recognizably a Sakimoto soundtrack. I can feel that grand feeling that the XII OST gives me in the form of beeps and boops. I don't care what some people say, I love the way the GBA sounds, and I think this game has a very good soundtrack. The title theme lives in my head rent free, as well as the bar theme. Marche's theme is also probably one of my favorites, being a slower piece compared to most of the game.

Stranger of Paradise: Final Fantasy Origin

See it's funny cause Marche is a stranger in paradise and I'm about to talk about the origins of Final Fantasy

Go play the silly Jack game dammit

I never truly appreciated how FF this game is. I will preface this by saying I Have Not played the original Tactics yet (I should have done it before Advance but childhood experiences win the matchup low diff), so my experiences are mainly second hand, that might affect some of my outlook. But as I was saying, this game feels INCREDIBLY classic Final Fantasy. Between the monsters, the jobs, the colorful nature of the game, the references to previous characters (I saw the four fiends! And Gilgame[sh]!) the fantastical aspects over the more serious political drama, I get the same vibes as the first few FF games, which makes me happy. I honestly feel like this game feels more FF than XII does (I am not saying XII is not an FF game it obviously is).

Speaking of XII, it is INSANE how much Tactics Advance brought to that game, and how little credit I feel the general public attributes to it. Like, This Game Came First. This game created Viera, Bangaa, Nu Mou. This game had Montblanc and Nono. This game had the Giza Plains. This game had monsters like Carrot. This game created Judges! So much of XII's identity is Tactics, and playing through this made me realize that even more of it is still Tactics. We wouldn't have Fran, we wouldn't have Gabranth, without Tactics Advance, and I wish this game got the respect it was due.

Shoutouts to XIV being the only game to acknowledge it in the form of Clan Nutsy. (I'm retroactively mad at Theatrhythm for not doing ANYTHING)

Post Too Long! Red Card: Go To Prison!

I'm so glad I finally got to finish this game, and complete a mission that I've had since I was a kid. I specifically remember giving up on the Llednar -> Mateus combo, and now here I am, 100% completion.

I can absolutely see why I put so much time into this game; it's addicting, and it has so many features and aspects of games that I love put into one package, even if there are bits I could do without.

The game as a whole feels ahead of its time, and even beyond the console it was on, and I hope one day it can get the recognition it deserves, rather than only getting a rerelease on the Wii U. I do recommend any FF fan to play this game. To finish off the post, I would say;

8/10. An absolutely addicting fun time and a key point in the history of my favorite franchise, as well as my own life. It's got some frustrations and imperfections, but it's such a solid experience.

[thedragonagelesbian]

16, 21, 22 for any KC you want :)

yeee thank you!!!!

Mechanics & Story Asks

gonna answer for both kyr (aeon -> gold dragon leyline guardian witch + winter witch) & cyrus (angel -> legend, martyr paladin -> spelleater bloodrager + skald + thug) because. i can. and i love them.

16. How well do they play mechanically with their romance, if any? If not, which party member do they synchronize best with?

Kyr: The entire inception of Kyr's character came from the unique possibilities of a healerXdhampir ship afiopwjef I love that Sosiel has to stock an entire extra line of spells to keep Kyr alive, I love that Sosiel comes with selective channel feat so he doesn't hurt Kyr when he channels energy, I love touch of good/bit of luck for boosting spell attack rolls, I love fortune + cackle for Kyr supporting his off-tank bf... love it all!!

Cyrus: End-game Cyrus is almost scarily self-sufficient, but the early/mid game 'step into my healing aura you stupid fuck' energy with Daeran is IMPECCABLE. Love a reckless self-sacrificing tank and an annoyed selfish healer learning to care about others by taking care of him. One of my favorite mechanic-driven story moments I've had yet was the final Act 3 boss battle, when basically all Cyrus did was stand there and get utterly pummeled by Darrazand while Daeran frantically tried to keep him up, this immense and bloody sacrifice made on behalf of the crusade... and Galfrey turns around and strips Cyrus of his command. Delicious.

21. If the Knight-Commander could get a unique item, what would it be and what would it do?

I don't know if these are items that they would have, so much as they are items inspired by the characters.

Kyr: Frozen Will. This gelid amulet grants its wearer immunity to mind-affecting spells and conditions. Additionally, whenever the wearer casts a spell with the cold descriptor, there is a 10% chance that the spell (or spell slot used to cast it) will not be spent.

Cyrus: The Skald's Saber of Self-Reliance. This +5 good longsword grants its wielder the ability to cast dispel magic, greater on themself as a move action, targeting harmful effects. The ability can be used three times per day.

22. What is the Commander’s opinion of their mythic patrons/advisors - the Hand of the Inheritor, Aivu or the Desnan Adepts, Zacharias, the Aeon in the mirror, Hal, Yozz and Noticula, etc.?

Kyr: The aeon in the mirror is... unnerving. Absolute, unassailable, all-consuming. Every time Kyr stands before the mirror, he feels certain. Like this is everything that he is, has always been, but when he steps away again, he feels less sure. Especially discovering that he isn't allowed to use the aeon's temporal powers to undo his own immense suffering at the hands of his sire, he grows more disillusioned with it, its promises, and the sacrifices it demands in return.

His current feelings on Hal are also ambivalent. He wants to believe in the possibility of redemption, but hearing how Hal allowed Terendelev to hurt him, he can't help but think him a fool. Kyr is still trying to wrap his mind around the 'unconditional' part of the whole 'unconditional love, acceptance, and forgiveness' thing.

And he's utterly uninterested in and unaffected by "Melies". Which is a shame because now I have to make a whole new aeon to be tempted by corruption & fuck that archdevil. Smh.

Cyrus: Cyrus' initial admiration of the Hand of the Inheritor quickly escalated into something more in the Abyss. Defending his worth to Galfrey, providing refuge of the Nexus, always watching over him and checking in to make sure the demonic corruption wasn't getting to him... the Hand helped Cyrus feel safe, or at least as safe as he could be, in the Midnight Isles.

...So when Nocticula revealed that Areelu had planted the wound that gave Cyrus his mythic powers, and the Hand took it poorly, Cyrus was devastated. The reveal hit him hard too, given his myriad body & autonomy issues and his deep-seated fear of being a weapon wielded by someone else, and this person he cared about seeing him like that hurt even more.

So they fought about it. And then they had a very heavy makeout/holy handjob sess about it.

Cyrus was heartbroken when Baphomet took the Hand, all the more so when Iomedae told him that the Hand was praying to him constantly for salvation from his torture in the Ineluctable Prison. And he was horrified by what that torture had wrought, turning the Hand into an empty vessel for Baphomet's cruel will. Of course Cyrus saved his heart and returned it to him, and in my heart, the Hand returned to Drezen afterward to begin his recovery. With lots of gay fallen angel sex. That's a very important part of the recovery.