#cyrusXdaeran

[thedragonagelesbian]

oh my god. i love the legend path so much............... knowing what it meant for areelu to not merely watch her 'creation' undo her work but deliberately sever the threads by which she was trying to bring her son back to life................................................ and cyrus, a son who left his mother before the game began and broke her heart in doing so... the final option to step into the worldwound with the shadow, to lay him gently to rest, to live & make himself whole & close the worldwound without any additional sacrifices, just mending those threads

and the epilogue slides were short but sweet, i love the mentions of companions staying in touch with one another, and i really bawled reading sosiel's and trever's.............................................. i love a 'good man gone to war' story, i love how they were both adamant before threshold that after this they'd never pick up a weapon again, i love these disciples of the goddess of beauty who endured such immense trauma and tragedy and suffering trying to find peace as a family again, i love that sosiel got married and i love his insistence that he will never tell romanticized stories of war, that there is no beauty to be found there. i'm so excited to have him in the party more with kyr bc im love him so very very very much...

AND SPEAKING OF LOVE

this? this is the most beautiful thingggggggggggggg everything about it jfc the callback to the 'love is a shipwreck' conversation, the emphasis on the sincerity of daeran's expression of that love, 'that love came to be an integral part of his being' HELLO HELLO HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 'YOU'RE GOING TO RUIN ME' BUT TO BE RUINED IS TO BE REMADE TO BUILD ONESELF AGAIN IN THE UNCERTAINTY OF A NEW LIFE AND TO MAKE LOVE A CORNERSTONE OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm so immensely satisfied yippeeeeeeeeeeeee

[thedragonagelesbian]

[thedragonagelesbian]

wip wednesday thursday

tyty @ghostwise for the tag!! i don't so much have a dedicated wip rn as i have a bunch of pathfinder-colored pingpong balls bouncing around my mind, but here's a snippet of cyrusXdaeran post-battlebliss hurt/comfort

Cyrus rubbed his neck. Tilting his head to the side ever so slightly, Daeran caught a glimpse of a scar— a burn, by the look of it, but razor-thin and intricate where a rune had dug into his skin. He thought of Irmangaleth putting his hand on Cyrus’ shoulder. Of Cyrus slumping down like a marionette with its strings cut. Of the wild glint in his eyes when he brought a blood-slicked hand to his throat and crushed the collar between his fist. “What about skipping to the part that comes after?”

“It’s hard to get much of an afterglow without that which comes first.”

“I mean…” Cyrus cast his eyes down. “Cuddling. I know we don’t usually do. That. Just that, but I…” Daeran had only seen him like this once before, not merely small but fragile, shoulders slumped and shuddering. Fallen. As he had been after the Echo kidnapped Eliandra, confessing that his paladin’s oath had faltered. “I don’t want to sleep alone tonight.”

Dearan chewed the inside of his cheek, so dangerously close to saying something foolish, like he almost had back in the Arena. Like I won’t let them hurt you again. Like I’ll take care of you. Like I care about you.

“Then you won’t.”

[thedragonagelesbian]

mentally im here

[thedragonagelesbian]

Cyrus let Daeran make the first move-- a tentative one, the small opening gesture of a handhold, his palm impossibly smooth against Cyrus' calluses. "I wonder if I shall come to regret this," he mused, glancing down at their interlinked fingers. "You're dangerous, I know it."

Daeran had made similar comments before, but Cyrus didn't know how seriously to take them. He never knew how seriously to take Daeran. Even now, he wondered if he was one sentimental remark away from tasting his acerbity. The first time he had seen a spark of desire in those brilliant green eyes was when he asked Daeran if it scared him that the paladin might ruin him.

For the first time, it occurred to him that the real answer might have been yes.

So instead of making his own playful remark, Cyrus brought his other hand to Daeran's cheek. The aasimar's skin was cold, and he sank into the fever-pitch of Cyrus' touch as Cyrus tilted his head up. Daeran blinked in return, mouth parted and expression soft, all the sharpness drained from him.

"I'm no danger to you."

Cyrus' thumb brushed a scar on his cheek. He didn't remember now how the Count had received it, only that he had complained terribly about its healing. Depleted of his own magic, he had had to rely on Cyrus', grimacing when Cyrus first laid his hands upon him.

"Trust me, please." The plea formed wisps in the sliver of wintry air left between their lips. "You don't have to run from me. You're safe."

There was a glimmer of doubt. Cyrus saw it, flashing for a moment in Daeran's brilliant green eyes, but then Daeran was lifting his hand and pressing a kiss to his knuckles. Playful but gallant, and tender enough to make Cyrus flush.

"No more running."

[thedragonagelesbian]

[thedragonagelesbian]

i like actually screamed. out loud. god bless

[thedragonagelesbian]

i do like thinking sometimes about daeran meeting cyrus' family (either post-game or in act 5-- i have this heartbreaking idea of bethany & leandra being like days away from arriving to drezen, bethany having finally convinced leandra to try to make amends with cyrus for leaving before the start of the game, when galfrey strips cyrus of his position & sends him to the abyss). bethany knows a fake ass mfer when she sees one and initially doesn't trust him but leandra adores him. absolutely everything she could possibly want in a suitor for her son & daeran loves her doting in turn & cyrus 'full to the brim with unexamined mommy issues' hawke does Not know how to deal with it

[thedragonagelesbian]

i do. have to rewrite the conversation with liotr after the other's defeat though. because i have a massive problem called 'cyrus hawke's deeply and sincerely held belief that violence is a first resort when a loved one is being threatened' that i have to metagame/headcanon away to get the best ending for them...

[thedragonagelesbian]

i dont think this response is romance-specific but i do love the idea of daeran getting defensive of cyrus here

[thedragonagelesbian]

16, 21, 22 for any KC you want :)

yeee thank you!!!!

Mechanics & Story Asks

gonna answer for both kyr (aeon -> gold dragon leyline guardian witch + winter witch) & cyrus (angel -> legend, martyr paladin -> spelleater bloodrager + skald + thug) because. i can. and i love them.

16. How well do they play mechanically with their romance, if any? If not, which party member do they synchronize best with?

Kyr: The entire inception of Kyr's character came from the unique possibilities of a healerXdhampir ship afiopwjef I love that Sosiel has to stock an entire extra line of spells to keep Kyr alive, I love that Sosiel comes with selective channel feat so he doesn't hurt Kyr when he channels energy, I love touch of good/bit of luck for boosting spell attack rolls, I love fortune + cackle for Kyr supporting his off-tank bf... love it all!!

Cyrus: End-game Cyrus is almost scarily self-sufficient, but the early/mid game 'step into my healing aura you stupid fuck' energy with Daeran is IMPECCABLE. Love a reckless self-sacrificing tank and an annoyed selfish healer learning to care about others by taking care of him. One of my favorite mechanic-driven story moments I've had yet was the final Act 3 boss battle, when basically all Cyrus did was stand there and get utterly pummeled by Darrazand while Daeran frantically tried to keep him up, this immense and bloody sacrifice made on behalf of the crusade... and Galfrey turns around and strips Cyrus of his command. Delicious.

21. If the Knight-Commander could get a unique item, what would it be and what would it do?

I don't know if these are items that they would have, so much as they are items inspired by the characters.

Kyr: Frozen Will. This gelid amulet grants its wearer immunity to mind-affecting spells and conditions. Additionally, whenever the wearer casts a spell with the cold descriptor, there is a 10% chance that the spell (or spell slot used to cast it) will not be spent.

Cyrus: The Skald's Saber of Self-Reliance. This +5 good longsword grants its wielder the ability to cast dispel magic, greater on themself as a move action, targeting harmful effects. The ability can be used three times per day.

22. What is the Commander’s opinion of their mythic patrons/advisors - the Hand of the Inheritor, Aivu or the Desnan Adepts, Zacharias, the Aeon in the mirror, Hal, Yozz and Noticula, etc.?

Kyr: The aeon in the mirror is... unnerving. Absolute, unassailable, all-consuming. Every time Kyr stands before the mirror, he feels certain. Like this is everything that he is, has always been, but when he steps away again, he feels less sure. Especially discovering that he isn't allowed to use the aeon's temporal powers to undo his own immense suffering at the hands of his sire, he grows more disillusioned with it, its promises, and the sacrifices it demands in return.

His current feelings on Hal are also ambivalent. He wants to believe in the possibility of redemption, but hearing how Hal allowed Terendelev to hurt him, he can't help but think him a fool. Kyr is still trying to wrap his mind around the 'unconditional' part of the whole 'unconditional love, acceptance, and forgiveness' thing.

And he's utterly uninterested in and unaffected by "Melies". Which is a shame because now I have to make a whole new aeon to be tempted by corruption & fuck that archdevil. Smh.

Cyrus: Cyrus' initial admiration of the Hand of the Inheritor quickly escalated into something more in the Abyss. Defending his worth to Galfrey, providing refuge of the Nexus, always watching over him and checking in to make sure the demonic corruption wasn't getting to him... the Hand helped Cyrus feel safe, or at least as safe as he could be, in the Midnight Isles.

...So when Nocticula revealed that Areelu had planted the wound that gave Cyrus his mythic powers, and the Hand took it poorly, Cyrus was devastated. The reveal hit him hard too, given his myriad body & autonomy issues and his deep-seated fear of being a weapon wielded by someone else, and this person he cared about seeing him like that hurt even more.

So they fought about it. And then they had a very heavy makeout/holy handjob sess about it.

Cyrus was heartbroken when Baphomet took the Hand, all the more so when Iomedae told him that the Hand was praying to him constantly for salvation from his torture in the Ineluctable Prison. And he was horrified by what that torture had wrought, turning the Hand into an empty vessel for Baphomet's cruel will. Of course Cyrus saved his heart and returned it to him, and in my heart, the Hand returned to Drezen afterward to begin his recovery. With lots of gay fallen angel sex. That's a very important part of the recovery.

[thedragonagelesbian]

procrastinating...

[thedragonagelesbian]

cyrus & daeran made out for 9 minutes and it counted as a long rest asdpfoijsfs

[thedragonagelesbian]

they're making soup together!!!

[thedragonagelesbian]

@hexblooddruid replied to your post “i think daeran is also a little lost on what to do...”:

What does Daerun want for Cyrus?

​it's complicated by the fact that daeran's desires for cyrus are becoming less selfishly motivated-- the transition from 'it would be nice for me if you would lighten up & stop being so serious because responsibility is a real bore & i should be allowed to do whatever i want' to 'it would be nice for you if you stopped carrying the weight of the world on your back because i can see how much you're straining underneath it and even though i dont want to i care about you'

daeran wants cyrus to have fun, to enjoy himself, to live with him in the present & not give a shit about the consequences of their actions beyond optimizing personal pleasure, even if he knows he's probably never going to get that last thing

(and i think daeran might have the smallest inkling of the idea that he wants more than momentary indulgence for cyrus/for them. that cyrus is someone he could think about having a future with for the first time ever, despite his preoccupation with living in the moment because, you know, he's a conduit for something otherworldly that's always watching through him and could snuff his life out in an instant. and the longer he sits with that idea, the more i think he's going to [slowly, tentatively] accept a measure of responsibility & accountability & selflessness.

[it's so fascinating to me that in one of his last romance convos, you can tell him to keep living as he always had ("No one is standing in your way now — you can have whatever you want. The Other are gone, and morality and all that other nonsense never really bothered you, did they? I will be glad to revel in this celebration of life with you. From now on, this world belongs to us") or you can validate his vulnerability & support him & promise to help him build a new identity for himself......................])

[thedragonagelesbian]

i think daeran is also a little lost on what to do re: cyrus becoming a bloodrager. he was the first person cyrus opened up to about no longer being (no longer wanting to be) a paladin, but the alternative cyrus chose--serious and angry and wounded--isn't at all what daeran was hoping for. but to help cyrus keep growing through that to embrace joy again, daeran would have to actually. authentically engage with feelings. which he is not equipped to do.

but what he can do, even if he can't be honest with himself about why, is keep taking care of cyrus. more healing, more baths, more flowers. even if cyrus is going to be a stubborn ass about it, so certain that it's more than he deserves, daeran sees the moment that that grim expression softens again