#as we like to close out our episodes saying: “be the light on the dark side”

[raven-writes-fanfic]

This seems as good a time as any…

I’m bringing my real life to tumblr, folks. Here we go.

A few weeks ago, I launched a new podcast with my irl bestie @ladyflamethrower. It's called The Dark Side. We’ve labeled it as a moderately political social justice podcast, but it includes some true crime elements. Our first episode was to encourage people to go vote for Kamala Harris. Our audience just wasn’t big enough to make an impact yet.

Tomorrow we’re recording our next episode, and I’ve decided to talk about what comes next now that the unthinkable has happened. So for some hope, kindness, and positivity, tune in on Friday at 5 pm (US Eastern time). If you go to my blog, there's a link there titled My IRL Podcast. That should lead you to a feed of the current episodes.

Wish I could've figured out how to do an embedded player thing in the post here. Ah, well.

fellow Americans what the hell do we do now???

[thewritergx]

Truth or Dare Part 2: JJ MaybankxF!Reader

Part 1

Warnings: Pure Smut, Part 1 has the storyline. Pet names, PinV. Oral (M and F receiving), fingering, spanking, doggy style.

Word Count: 2.5K

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Please feel free to like and repost. Click here if you’d like more stories from me

By the time we decided to leave the hot tub, my eyes were falling and I was ready to put dry clothes on. JJ helped me out of the tub, offering a hand and wrapping a towel around me. I shivered from the cold air and hurried inside to change. Part of that was to avoid JJ all together. 

I grabbed the first clothes out of the bin I could find. A random shirt and black short brief underwear that left a bit of my cheeks out. Pretty much what I wore to bed every night. I removed the bathing suit, placing it on a towel rack to dry before thoroughly drying my entire body. I smelled a bit like chlorine and my hair was slightly wet near the ends. I left the bathroom feeling refreshed and warm, the house definitely helping warm my skin back up. 

“Nice shirt” JJ mumbled as I walked into the living room. He was setting up the TV, putting on an old episode of Rick and Morty. Classic stoner. 

I looked down. It was a plain black shirt with a shark in the left corner. “Oh, shit. Sorry I didn't realize I grabbed one of yours, must have accidentally mixed it with my laundry.” 

“Nah, it's all good. You look good.” JJ had changed into a loose fitting pair of athletic shorts, his tighs a bit revealed. 

“Thanks”, I mumbled, my face hot. I wondered if I should say something about the game. He seemed a bit annoyed. JJ didn't turn to look at me and instead continued to lay out blankets and pillows on the blow up mattress. 

The air in the room was thick and still. I swallowed a bit of salvia out of nervousness. “Listen, I'm sorry if the whole truth or dare thing was weird.” I spoke quietly. “You seemed a bit uncomfortable, kinda mad.” 

“I wasn't mad. Just… Whose the guy?” JJ finally looked up, meeting my eyes and walking a bit closer.

“Guy? What do you mean?” I asked confused.

“The guy you said you have a crush. The one Sarah asked about. I know ‘em?” JJ’s tone was impatient. A bit rough. 

“I-I,” I attempted to speak but my words weren't coming out very smoothly. “Well, I guess you do kinda.” 

“Kinda? Someone you know from school?” He had a straight face. I couldn’t really tell what he was thinking.

“No,” I laughed. “Do I really have to say it, J?”

“Say what?” He shot back. He ran his hand through his hair, sending his blonde strands messily backward. 

“J.. There is no ‘guy’. There's just…you”. My heart was beating so fast I thought it might actually stop. 

“Oh, thank god”, JJ breathed out, taking a few steps closer until he was crashing his body into mine, grabbing me by my waist and pulling me into a gentle kiss. He tasted like mint and a hit of beer from earlier. I felt my skin light up with every touch, electricity circulating through my body. He pulled me in closer, the kiss growing messy and deep. His tongue danced around with mine softly, our spit mixing. 

JJ pulled away with a low groan. “Sorry I just, you were drivin’ me crazy today. I’ve been thinkin’ about doin’ that since we woke up this morning”. He smiled a bit, looking down at me. 

I was surprised to say the lease. “What do you mean?” I questioned him but stayed close. 

“Just…God. Your outfit earlier, the way you ate that popsicle. Could only imagine those lips on me. And that bathing suit. Thought it was gonna be the death of me.” JJ pulled me into another kiss. This time less heat but more care and passion. “Think about you all the time, ya know” His voice was like a whisper now, The dark broodiness almost completely gone. Instead, he sounded…hungry now. I moaned at his words, gently running my finger through his hair as he kissed me. My body was a ball of nervousness. 

JJ kept his hands on my waist, walking me backwards and laying me gently on the air mattress. “God, when you were sittin’ on my lap the only thing I could think about was gettin’ you in here. Showin’ you how much I craved you,” He hovered over me now, his lips close as he spoke. His breath was hot against my face. “Gonna let me do that, sweetheart? Let me show you how much you deserve?” He ran his hands down my body, slowly creeping them under my shirt. He stopped just under my breast waiting for a response. 

It was risky doing this in the living room. We both knew John or Sarah could walk out at any minute. For some reason, I was fine with risking it. We all walk in on each other at some point. 

I stayed quiet, my words completely escaping me. I did the only thing my body would let me and pulled him into another kiss. We stayed like this until I was a whining mess under him, grinding my hips under him to have any sort of friction I could find. 

“J’ please. I-I need you. Wanna feel you.” I couldn't stand to wait anymore. I needed his hands against me, needed to feel every inch of him. 

JJ tugged at my shirt, pulling it over my head. He massaged my breasts lightly, pitching and tugging at each nipple. I could feel how hard he was as he bent down and sucked a nipple between his teeth. I let out a moan, running my fingers down his shoulders and arms. 

“Shh, sweetheart. Not too loud. This is still John’s house,” JJ chucked in-between each breath as he devoured my tits. JJ flicked his tongue around them, drawing circles while he massaged the other. “Skin so smooth,” he moaned.

My brain melted under him, making me fall deeper and deeper into his touch. I let out a whimper at his words, my body aching for more and more. I know I may have looked desperate but I could tell by the look on JJ’s face he felt the same need I did. 

I dragged my hands between us, finding the bulge outside his shorts. I always wondered how big he was. I heard some girls laughing about how she could take barley take at once. I swallowed, confirming with my hand that he was probably bigger than anyone I've ever been with before. Not that it was many, I'd only been with 3 people. I knew that was much less than JJ. 

“Fuck, you sure you wanna do that?” JJ brushed against my neck. 

I chuckled a bit. “Can I… See it?” I asked, my voice as innocent as I could make it. I knew that drove JJ crazy as he began attacking my lips again. 

“Yeah, s-sure.” He slightly winned, sitting up on his knees. I pulled at the hem of his shorts, lowering the fabric just enough that his cock bounced free. It hit his stomach and made a light thud sound. Shit, he was big. 

The tip of his dick glistened, pre cum gathered at the top. It was beautiful. I licked my lips. I crawled out from under him, positioning myself in a doggy style esc pose. I brought my face close to his cock, and placed a light kiss on the tip. It was soft against me, the light pink color angry and hot. JJ let out soft moans as I kitten licked the tip. I wanted to tease him, work him up even more. 

“Sweetheart, don’t do me like this. Please,” His voice was needy. I felt him grab a fist full of my hair, pulling it away from my face. I decided to be merciful and wrapped my lips around the soft skin. I sucked a bit, running my tongue up and down the slit of his head. He tasted like salt and chlorine. 

“Shit, y/n. Gonna have to find whoever taught you this, thank ‘em.” HE moaned, throwing his back and closing his eyes. I dragged my mouth down deeper, taking him about half way and opening my mouth as much as my jaw would let me. He was so big I was pretty much deep throating him already. The grip he held in my hair tightened and he bucked his hips a bit, causing me to gag on him as he hit the back of my throat. It sent tears in my eyes, and made my mouth a watering mess. 

I pulled my mouth off him, spitting down his length. I used a free hand, twisting soft pumps up and down as I reattached my mouth. After a few minutes JJ was moaning my name, his legs shaky. 

“God, if you don't stop, I'm cummin right now.” JJ pulled me off him quickly. “Turn around, let me see that ass.” He demanded. I did as I was told, silently sitting on all fours and arching my ass in the air. 

JJ worked quick to pull off my panties and ditch his shorts. He gripped my ass, holding a fist full of my cheeks and bouncing them. I felt my pussy dripping, waiting for him to do anything he wanted. 

“God, so fuckin’ perfect.” He mumbled as he placed soft kisses on my back. He went lower until he was reaching my core. I felt him let out a cool breezing, blowing air on my slit. He kissed it softly before dipping in his tongue and exploring the wetness I had to offer. 

He groaned as I moaned out his name, reaching my hands back, trying to find anything to hold onto. He gripped my hands, holding them in place right above my ass. I tried to stay as quiet as possible as he sucked at my core. 

He stopped for a moment, bringing a single finger to my entrance. He traced my lips, pushing them again and together before finally dipping into my whole. I let out a soft wimp. His fingers were thick and long, slightly brushing up against my g-spot. 

“Fuckin’ tight, y/n. Gonna let me stretch you out?” I should have known JJ would be a talker in bed. He had so much confidence and sass already. 

“Yes, J’. Please.” I moaned, his finger alone driving me crazy. 

“Stay right here. Be back”. JJ quickly threw on his shorts, walking with a bit of nervousness to John B’s door. I threw the blanket over my body. What the fuck was he doing.

JJ knocked lightly, his hand barely making any contact with the wood in front of him. He bit his lip and tapped again. 

The door opened slightly. John B’s hair was messy, his eyes pinched together in a tight glare. 

“Dude, what?” John B whispered. 

“Listen man, I-I need a condom like yesterday.” JJ smirked. 

“J’? Seriously.” John B rolled his eyes. “Oh dude, seriously?’ I heard JOhn B’s voice perk up a bit and a soundI could only recognize as a high-five. 

“Cough it up, bro”. JJ composed himself, voice back to a whisper. The door to John’s room shut for a moment. I heard some rushed shuffling before it re-opened. John handed JJ a small gold package with black writing. 

“Just don't be loud and uh…clean up any mess you make.” John whispered awkwardly. 

JJ raced back over, standing above me. “Sorry, don’t want to pressure you into doing anything too risky. I’ll get some tomorrow, that way we never have to do… that again.” JJ held the package in his hand, playing with the wrapper a bit.

I laughed and set up, reaching my hand out to JJ and motioning him over to me. He pulled his shorts off again, this time less rushed. I could see the nervousness in his eyes now., his hands shaking as he opened the gold wrapper with his teeth. 

He removed the contents, sliding it down his member and pumping a few times. I got back into my previous position, removing the blanket. 

I swallowed thick. This suddenly felt so much realer. JJ placed a hand through my hair, caressing it down my body until he gripped it at my waist. I arched more, trying to give him the best angle. He grabbed his dick in one hand and began rubbing it through my folds. 

I whimpered a bit, taking in a deep breath. I tried to relax, open myself up for him as best I could. 

“You ready, sweetheart?” JJ spoke softly, counting to tease my entrance. 

I nodded, letting out a soft moan. 

“Need to hear you say it. Tell me you want it.” JJ teased again. “Tell me you want this dick.”

I swallow, his dirty talk making me drunk. “Please, J. Want you. Want you so bad.” I whined. 

He loathed to my pleads, entering the tip inside and pushing forwards. I let out a high pitched gasp as JJ continued further, hitting the back of me gently. He was thick, stretching me open. I felt myself clenching around him, sucking him in further and further. 

“Oh, f-fuck J’. So big”. I swear I couldn't stop the moan escaping my lips as he dragged his cock out, leaving just enough from him to push slowly but with a bit of roughness back into me. It sent me into a spiral and I swear I needed more or I would explode right under him. 

I dropped my arms, laying my head deep into a pillow, I reached my arms back, trying to push him off just a bit. 

JJ bent my arms, not letting me move an inch away from him. “You can take it y/n. Don't try to run.” 

JJ thrusted into me faster, causing more moans to slip out. He groaned at each one, placing a light slap on my ass. I still needed more and more still. I decided to take matters into my own hands and began throwing my ass up and down on his dick. It felt like heaven. 

“Goddman, y/n. Throw that shit back.” JJ moaned, slowing his thrust so I could set whatever pace I wanted. 

His cock hit me at the perfect angle. I knew I was close, wetness dripping from me. I clenched my walls around him, tightening the grip I already held on him. “Gonna cum J” I moaned. 

“Right with you sweetheart, go ahead. Cum on my cock.” JJ breathing was heavy, his coming out mumbled.

JJ gripped my hip tighter,and placed a hand on my back, arching me more. The pressure pushed me over the edge. I tried to not scream out. I gripped the blanket under me, showing my head into the pillow trying to muffle my moans. 

“That’s it sweetheart. Such a good girl.” JJ’s pace grew quicker and rougher. His goans turned to more of a growl. I swear I was seeing stars. He pulled out quickly, removing the condom and pumping his hot cum onto my back.

“Stay like that, gotta remember this moment forever.” JJ grabbed his phone, taking a few pictures of the mess he made on me. 

I laughed, staying still as he cleaned me up with the shirt I wore earlier. 

[iouinotes]

Show-off | Mike Ross

pairing: Mike Ross x female!reader

show: Suits

genre: smut word count: 2,9k

summary: you and your co-worker Mike dont get along very well. But when you have something that he needs, suddenly everything is different.

a/n: Just watched the first two episodes of "Suits" and something about Mike is really attractive-

Working in a well-known office as a lawyer has it's advantages. Such as being respected by business people or being able to afford a lot of things, you spend all your evenings analyzing documents rather than meeting actual people.

Nevertheless, sometimes there are also negative factors. For example, my co-worker Mike, who really believes, that he is with his ridiculously skinny tie and sarcastic humor better than the others. Or right now, better than me.

"God, I cant believe you. Can you behave for once?" I use my fingers to push my hair back in frustration, noticing how my head starts to hurt. Its 10 pm and I'm currently trying to stay calm, though because of one man in particular, my nerves seem to be getting thinner within seconds. Valuable time is wasted that I could spend somewhere else instead of with him.

"Now it's my fault, that you don't have the documents with you? Sorry, I can't help you being organized in your own workplace." His voice irritates me. Everything about him is so frustrating.

"I told you, I didnt get the message! How am I supposed to know, that you need something, when you don't tell me anything about it? Maybe you should stop being so childish and ask me in the first place, instead of running to Rachel!" If our job had nothing to do with justice and we werent literally standing in a law company right now, I would kill him. And then I wouldn't hesitate to go to court and say it was self-defense, because I didnt want to hear any of his miserable excuses anymore.

"So what do you think, I should do? I need these documents for tomorrow. Please, I know you don't like me, but it is really urgent." Why does he has such blue eyes? The look he is going me is even more irritating than his voice.

I sign, exhibit my laptop and try to put the pens back, that are laying all over my desk.

"Okay, fine. As I said, the documents are at home, so-" I don´t even get to finish my sentence.

"Great, so I'll meet you there. And I wont even tell anyone, if your place is a mess." His eyes wander over my messy desk, and even If I don´t like to admit it, it's a bad habit of mine. But, he shouldn't make any assumptions about the neatness in my apartment.

"I hope you loose the documents on your way home." At my words, he grins smugly.

"Well, then I could lie and say you didnt found them anymore and I hadnt had the chance to go through them." He leans towards me.

"I'll run you over with my car." He raises his eyebrows at my threat.

"You sure should do something that makes you smile more often. Is that even something you know how to do?" I show him my middle finger and turn to left my office. When I close the door, I hear the laughter in his voice.

"The next storm should be named after you as quickly as you left the room." He follows after me.

"Can you shut up for once? Oh, I forgot. You don´t last one second being silent. Thats a shame, the world could finally heal." His hand rests on his heart, his features fake a hurt expression.

"Ouch. You really don´t like me that much, huh?" His eyes try to search mine.

"You get on my nerves on purpose every fucking day. Should I thank you for that?" I turn my head to look at him.

"Yes, you should. Your life would be so boring without me." He grins at me again from the side, that typical grimace that is always adorn on his face.

"You wish." When I tell him my address, he raises his eyebrows, but before he can make an unfavorable comment, I get into my car.

Darkness surrounds me and when I see him going away, I lower my head to the steering wheel. He really is the best at confusing my emotions.

~~~~~

I turn off the lights of my car and get out of it, so I can finally make my way to my flat. Its not something special, I mean I have a living room, which is quite big and connected to the kitchen, a bedroom and a bath. But I am very lucky, because I have a small balcony, from which I can watch the stars at night. But I usually only do that when I can't sleep.

So, when I enter my apartment, I let my eyes wander over the manageable mess, I put some clothes back in the closet and the dishes in the washing machine. The place almost looks decent, when I hear the doorbell.

As I open the door, I'm nervous for some reason. I let him in and turn to my office drawers, looking for the document.

"Nice place. You live here alone?" His fingers trace my bookshelf, I see him reading the titles.

"No, my wife is still at work." When I look at him dead serious, I see him laugh in surprise.

"So, you do have humor. I thought, you were one of those exceptions that wouldn't be able to do that." He means it as a joke, but something in my chest hurts.

When I reply with a monotonous voice, I see his eyebrows pull together. "I live here alone. That's what you wanted to hear?" I'm getting more frustrated again with every second he's around me.

"No- I didnt mean it that way. I'm sorry. My intentions were good, I promise." When I look at him for a moment, I see his honest expression.

It would be so easier for me to hate him, if I didnt know, he was a good human. Well, most of the time.

We are silent for a moment, but when I hear his footsteps, I tense up.

"What are you doing?" He's now standing right next to me.

"Helping you. You seem a little, tense?" I glare at him for a moment and he raises his hands in defense.

"Just pointed out the obvious. But dont worry. You still look lovely." I stop in my movements at his words.

"Thats such shock for you?" His voice shows surprise and a certain curiosity.

"Only that you say it." I look into his eyes.

"Well, you may think I'm dumb, but I'm not blind."

He just called me beautiful, sort of. It´s confusing me.

When I finally find the documents, I hold my hand out to him.

"I don´t think you are dumb. I think you're annoying. And a show-off. I don´t like that." His eyes follow me.

"What do you like then?" His question surprises me. He slowly takes the documents out of my hand, his finger gently brushing mine.

"I don´t think that is any of your business." I try to clear my voice. His touch makes me shiver.

"Come on, tell me. Would that be so bad?" His whole presence is making me nervous and I feel my hands start to shake.

At work, I can always hide behind a mask, pretend that nothing he does affects me. I can act like I truly hate him, even though I catch myself looking at him, from time to time. Especially when he shows off his intelligence without realizing it, impresses his clients and -I would never admit it- me too. It's a certain charm about him, the way he always knows how to answer, while being mischievous and clever about it.

But now, that he's in my apartment and so close to me, it's suddenly different. And I don't know how to react to him being nice.

"I look for someone who isnt afraid of commitment. Someone who is honest and kind, but who also challenges me. I want to feel safe, so I can put my trust not only in myself."

He nods and is quiet for a moment, I begin to feel stupid for telling him all of that, when he responds.

"I get that. Someone whose shoulder you can lean on when things get too much. Someone who meets your needs, who wants to be in your life. For longer than a one-night stand." He smiles at me and I see for the first time, why I possibly could like him.

"Also, statistics show higher rates of being robbed or kidnapped, when you have one-night stands." This remark almost makes me laugh, even though it's frightening.

"Well, who would even notice, if I would disappear? Probably only my clients, because they need me." I lower my head, being completely honest with him for the first time.

"I would notice."

When I look at him, he takes a step towards me. His fingers gently slide over my shoulder and brush my hair aside, the touch makes a warm feeling bloom in my chest.

"I couldn't annoy you anymore. My life would be pretty boring without you. And it's not so bad to be able to look at such a pretty face every day, even if it always looks at me annoyed, like all the time." I quietly laugh at that, feeling surprisingly good because of his compliment.

We look at each other, now being really close. My eyes travel to his lips and I don´t even know how it happens, but suddenly he is all over me. His lips on mine, his hands on my waist, lifting me up to sit me on the desk. I moan softly when his hands tangle in my hair and he pushes himself closer to me, so that he's standing between my legs. One of his hands gently wraps around my neck and I feel my loud pulse.

My hands move too, stroking his back and holding him closer to me by his tie. As he pulls his lips away from me, he lifts my chin with his finger. Now, looking down at me with widen pupils. I hold his eye contact, forgetting all about my issues with him, when he speaks to me with a deep voice (which I suddenly don´t think sounds irritating anymore).

"Be angry at me tomorrow and mine for tonight. I bet, all your frustration from work and your thin nerves can catch a break, what do you say?"

Not much. Because I pull him towards me by his tie and kiss him again. I don't want to stop at all anymore. He returns the kiss with the same enthusiasm and his hands find their way to my waist again to lift me up again. When he crosses the living room with quick steps and lays me down on the sofa, I already feel out of breath and clearly turned on.

His kisses become more intense, his lips move from my mouth to my neck, leaving marks there. But it feels too good to make him stop.

"I will gladly hear your excuses, when someone asks you about your hickeys tomorrow. Because you will be all flustered, when you think again about this moment. Where you are ready to be fucked by your colleague, who you despise so much." I whimper as he pushes up my dress and his hands pull my tights down to my knees. The cold air hits my skin, but I don't really notice it, because his lips are on my neck again and his fingers connect first with my stomach and then further down. I hold my breath as his lips touch my ear and his fingers stroke my folds.

"So wet for me. Didnt think, I would turn you on this much." I kiss him to shut him up.

"You are-" I moan, when he finally puts a finger in me. "-so annoying." He laughs at me.

"Am I? But you seem to like it." I feel myself getting wetter, his fingers feel so good as they move gently but firmly inside me. One of his hands moves to push my dress further up and somehow, he manages to pull it over my head. Now, I'm lying in front of him in just a bra, his hands slowly find their way over my body and to my back, which I lift slightly so that he can open the clasp.

When I lie naked in front of him and he massages my breasts, his lips touch mine and his fingers stimulate me, I feel like I'm in heaven.

He breaks apart, so he can look at me and I draw my eyebrows together, when his fingers increase in speed. My mouth opens and the sounds that escape me echo in the apartment.

"I'm- god, I think I am going to come-" at that he starts to tease me, going slower but a lot deeper. My eyes almost roll back as he hits a certain spot inside me.

"That feels good? What do you say, when you want something?" You stupid idiot.

"You stupid-" I begin to say as his lips graze my nipple and his finger scissor and stretch me out further.

"One word, darling. Say it." And because I feel this knot inside me (and maybe this side of him turns me on, like a lot), I finally open my mouth to please him.

"Please, Mike. I-I need to-" My sentence is cut off as his fingers speed up and I moan loudly.

"Thats a good girl, you can be so good to me, if I make you." His lips search mine as I finally come. My breathing is heavy and when I come down from my high and look at his face, I see the satisfied expression.

"You are done-" I can't maintain my strict facial expression and suddenly have to start smiling. His eyes widen in surprise and I raise my eyebrows, still smiling softly.

"What?" I quietly laugh at his expression.

"Nothing, its just- I have never seen you smiling so happy." I roll my eyes gently. As I look at him closer now, I see the bulge in his pants and the loosened tie. As I lean forward, his eyes shift to my body.

"You still are fully clothed. A bit unfair, don't you think?" I watch him swallow and my hands move to his chest to slowly unbutton his shirt. As I also remove the tie and slip the shirt from his shoulders, I sit myself on his lap. Rocking my hips forward and seeing his eyes close. His hands move to my hips and begin to control the movements, my eyes close too and my head leans into the crook of his neck as the movements become faster.

Sighs and heavy breaths leave his lips and once again, one of his hands moves to grab my breasts, lightly grazing the nipples.

I look at him, noticing his swollen lips and his flushed cheeks. His hair is a mess and his forehead is furrowed, but he tries his best to pull himself together.

I groan as I look at him and suddenly think back to todays afternoon, when he was on a phone call and I heard how he listed one reciting fact after another, without any difficulty.

"What are you thinking about?" His voice pulls me out of my thoughts.

"N-nothing" I'm definitely too embarrassed to admit how much his intelligence and the way he seems to know everything, turns me on.

One of his hands moves to my entrance and teases me by just circling around it. When I try to push myself down, he pulls his fingers away.

"You tell me, whats going on in that pretty head of yours and you'll get me." My body feels so hot, I can't think properly anymore.

"You where on a phone call today and you just- you listed without any effort every single point that will help you win the case. You just said it like- it's nothing."

When his fingers dig into me again, I bite my lips. I try to control my moans and not pay attention to the fact, that I just gave him every opportunity to make him be more complacent than his usual self.

His fingers pump into me and I feel slightly overstimulated. But I wouldnt want to stop now.

"You get off by the thought of me, saying memorized facts? Who would have thought that my intelligence would turn you on so much." God, his ego probably doesn't fit in this apartment anymore.

"Don't think too highly of yourself, you still annoy me." Now I'm really just trying to get myself out of the situation. I lean towards him, so he can't say anything anymore and pull on his blonde hair to distract him.

Moans escape my lips and when I notice that his noises are also getting louder, I pull away from him. He looks at me confused.

"I want you inside me." Thats all I say, but he quickly complies with my request. I slide off his lap and wait for him to take off his pants and boxers until he's finally on top of me again. His fingers find my bottom lip and while maintaining eye contact, I open my mouth so he can insert a finger. My tongue brushes against his and after a few moments of him pressing on my tongue, he lets his fingers move back to the spot that needs him the most.

He stretches me for a few minutes until he finally guides his cock to my hole and slowly penetrates me. My eyes close and I hear his breath in my ear as he pushes further.

"You are so tight- good thing finally someone fucks you." I nod without thinking and hear his laughter in my ear.

"You think so too, huh. Would you let anyone fuck you then?" My stomach tenses, I feel the pleasure growing again and every movement of him. This feels so good-

I try to shake my head, but I'm too lost in the sensations to pay much attention to his words.

"No? But I thought, you hate me. Why would you let me fuck you, if you don´t even like me?" His thrusts become faster and more uncontrolled, I feel him getting closer to his own high.

"I-" I try to stutter "d-don´t hate you." I feel myself getting closer and reach into his hair, pulling at the roots and feeling his lips on my shoulder. His thrusts become more powerful and as he moves his hand and massages my clitoris, suddenly everything goes white in front of my eyes and I come.

I feel every inch inside of me, feel his fingers brush over the visible bulge in my stomach and think to myself: god I feel so full

When he comes too, I moan so loudly that it's impossible that my neighbors didn't hear me. His hand finds its way around my chin, he slides a finger into my mouth and I feel my vagina tighten because of it.

He hisses and his thrusts slow down until he finally pulls out of me, trying not to fall on top of me. As I give him some space next to me, he falls halfway on me, but pulls me on top of him in the next second and I can hear his strong heartbeat. With his outstretched hand he pulls the blanket over me, that had fallen to the floor.

We both try to catch our breath and as the minutes pass, only the wind outside is heard. He is the first to break the silence.

"So, you don't hate me?" I lift my head from his naked chest to look at him.

"Only sometimes." He shakes his head and smiles, gently stroking my back.

The evening went by quickly, we ordered a pizza and ate it (clothed) on the terrace. We were going over his documents for tomorrow, I blushed at the thought that this was the real reason he came here, but he just hugged me from behind after we finished and continued watching the stars.

It's not really clear what this evening means for us, but I don´t want to get into that, not yet. Because I'm not sure what it means anyway.

Because now, I have to get used to the fact that his voice no longer irritates me, that his jokes no longer annoy me and that he as a person, is actually not as bad as I imagined.

"Who thought, I was the one to get you relax."

But he is still a show-off.

[connorsblog]

Season 4 Carl has a grab on me. Could please write a fic where Carl and Rick are in the house, Rick is unconscious, basically those episodes but when Michonne shows, she shows up with reader, whom Michonne found on her journey. Carl and reader become friends quite easily. Just a massive fluff. Pretty please, with a Dixon on top? 💕🙏

who's the cowboy? | c.g

genre : fluff !

summary : read request

a/n : i love this idea, thank you for requesting !!

i didn't really know how i ended up with michonne, i was just pacing up and down this abandoned house's hallway — and i had heard something clang on the road.

i was hesitant to check it out, but i'm glad i did.

me and michonne were walking down this narrow street. i think she is looking for someone, but i'm not sure, she seemed preoccupied.

"are you looking for someone?" i inquired, focusing on my feet planting themselves on the gravel whilst michonne tried to find a way to answer.

"yes, i'm looking for my friend. his name is rick. he has a son, too," she seemed melancholy about them, almost like one of them were dead — or something of the sort.

"oh — here we are, i think." her head angled upwards as she looked towards the house. it was scuffed up, dirt projected all over the sides from the roamers' hands scuffing it up.

"you think?" i asked, squinting as far as i could into the window of the door. i couldn't see anything, nor hear anything. probably not a good sign.

"can't be too sure these days, kid." was all she had said before promptly walking around the house's outside area — probably inspecting it.

i heard a sudden clang, which made me jump. michonne came straight over as it happened, and it was from inside the building.

suddenly there was some sort of indistinct yelling, it sounded from a kid. he sounded angry, too.

michonne seemed to recognize that voice immediately, most likely this “rick”s son of his.

she didnt have any problem with knocking now, her knuckles making a firm noise against the white wood.

i saw a head peek into the door's window, a pale faced boy with piercing eyes — dark, almost an upsetting shade of blue surrounding the middlest hue, bright and electrified.

his face seemed to light up as he saw michonne, he hadn't seemed to notice me yet though. he'd figure out soon enough anyway.

after various locks unclicked on the door, it swung open to reveal a couch shoved into the corner of the main room, probably just recently.

he had a sheriff's hat on his head, uneven and disheveled — probably from the yelling that occurred just a minute ago.

"who's the cowboy?" i half-joked, teasing him about his sheriffs hat. truthfully, it suited him quite well.

"his name is carl," michonne spoke up, introducing carl to myself and me to him before we all three entered the house.

he closed the door loudly prior to us entering, clicking the locks with a certain precision, probably signaling he had been here for quite some time already. or maybe he just got used to the locks.

michonne stayed by the older mans body — presumably this rick she had talked about. he looked dead, which explained carl's disheveled appearance.

"do you read comics?" carl finally asked after he caught me staring. not a good first impression, i thought silently.

"i read some, i usually don't have time for it, though." i answered simply.

"i have a few michonne got for me. wanna see?" he voiced, seeming to get more comfortable with me as the seconds ticked on.

"yeah, sure." i squinted, following carl to one of the other rooms to check out his comic collection — or what was left, at least.

——————————————————————————

it had been at least an hour of me and carl talking about comics together before michonne interrupted him in the middle of an X-Men comic he had grown quite passionate about.

"carl," she started as she poked her head into the doorframe rather eagerly, saying both of our names. "you guys hungry?"

me and carl shared a glance before nodding, his smile infectious and spreading to my face almost instantly.

as me and carl ate, we had laughed about numerous things. stupid stuff like milk dribbling down carls chin as he ate eagerly, or my obnoxious laugh as he did so. it was refreshing, i had missed that burning sensation in my cheeks from smiling.

i had said something that caused michonne to chip in and laugh as well. they both seemed to forget about ricks figure on the plush couch.

well, they couldn't now — i saw his frame move. either he was a roamer now, or he had magically woke up.

——————————————————————————

"i don't think i've heard him laugh like that since — well, for a while." i heard rick murmur as carl began to laugh again.

"well — this one time, i had a friend in like second grade, right? i had tried his lactose free milk and i almost puked!" exaggeration seeped into his voice, but it was too funny not to start laughing along with him.

this conversation had started when michonne offered for carl to try this lactose free milk, cue his story.

"seriously? you almost puked? i doubt that," michonne chuckled, watching the both of us laugh along with her.

"no! i'm not lying, it was horrible!" he puncuated each word, making a vomiting sound at the end of his sentence.

that caused us to laugh even more — even rick ended up joining in eventually.

note : i LOVED writing this so very much !! thank you again for this request, i appreciate it :)

[captainfluffytheragdoll]

Space Riders Theory! 🌌

Woah I'M making a theory?? Yeah that's right. Hey guys! Captain Fluffz here. I'm using my very poor detective skills to make a theory about @onyxonline's very amazing Space Riders AU! Right, without further ado, let's get into it!

Firstly, if you've been reading the SR AU for a while, you'll probably have noticed that our main cast, aka the Space Critters, have these charm/pendant-like shapes on the front of their space suits.

See?

In episode 1, when the team get ready to fight the Cult's goons- ahem, I mean people, we see their pendants glowing.

It may just be a cool effect, but I think it may be something more. For more proof, in this scene where Catnap and Dogday do their fucking cool (sorry) duo move, their pendants are also glowing.

In episode 4, Hoppy's pendant glows when she's going into overdrive mode.

Well, what does all that mean? I think, maybe, the pendants represent the Space Critters' souls, and are perhaps even connected to them. Here's what I think:

Dogday's Sun pendant: Represents his powers as a Solar Celestial and his sunny demeanor as well as his positive attitude toward things. He is quiet literally the growing and supporting force for his team.

Catnap's Moon pendant: Represents his powers as a Lunar Celestial and his calm and levelheaded (also rather eepy) personality. He's probably a good listener and supports his friends; a good shoulder to cry on.

Hoppy's Lighting pendant: Represents her electricity powers and her active and enthusiastic personality. She can be a bit impatient and loud sometimes, but deep down cares for her close ones very deeply.

Crafty's Blue Flower pendant: Represents her creativity and calm personality. Just like a flower, she's a gentle beauty but has her thorns (ways of protecting herself).

Picky's Apple pendant: Represents her wholesome and hearty personality. She, of course, loves food and takes care of others.

Bubba's Light Bulb pendant: Represents his heightened intelligence and informative, (nerdy) and smart personality. He always has the information needed to help his team on missions and gets them through dark times.

Kickin's Star pendant: Represents his fire powers and his cool and bright personality. Like all stars, he's one you can count on, and of course, is very very rad, but has his burning point too.

Bobby's Heart pendant: Represents her caring and sweet nature. She's a very understanding and kind soul, and helps others however she can. Her beat (personality) is calming to all around her.

In episode 5, Poppy says that the husks are created to "show the irony of the heretics fighting their true selves". This very obviously means the husks are the Space Critters' "Dark Sides©" made to show what the Space Critters "actually are".

On the topic of husks, in episode 6, the husk that looks like Bobby has a... rather odd detail.

It's pendant, unlike Bobby's, looks somewhat like a melted heart, whereas the real Bobby's pendant is a perfect heart. Perhaps, this is meant to show the Space Critters' "real selves" aka their "Dark Sides©". We haven't yet seen the other husks, but I think all of them would have broken or ruined versions of the Space Critters' pendants. Meaning their "real selves" are mean, bloodthirsty and deranged.

So, in conclusion, I think the Space Critters' pendants represent their souls and are perhaps even linked to them, and the husks' ruined versions of the pendants are meant to show their "Dark Sides©".

So yeah! That's all, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments. I spent a fair amount of time on this, so a like or some nice words would be appreciated ^^. No forcing of course, don't feel obliged. Thanks so much if you took your time to read this, left a like or some nice words. I hope you found some truth in this theory, and please let me know if I missed anything.

Credits:

All art belongs to @onyxonline.

Space Riders AU belongs to the great @onyxonline. Check her out, now!

"Dark Side©" is a concept made by @appleeyeangeldust, and the team name for some of her OCs who also may make an appearance in my AU of @onyxonline's SR AU.

Edit 29/07/2024: OMG OMGOMGOMG @onyxonline reblogged??!! WOAHH!! Tysm!! <33

Alright then, peace, Captain Fluffz out! ✌🐱

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman-Part 37

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe : Military School

Words : 5k

Masterlist

———————————————————————

Friday, January 15; 6:00 AM -  Lucy's Room.

Even though the ringtone is more pleasant than the alarm in our dorm, it doesn’t stop me from groaning and burying my head in the pillow when it echoes through the room. I hate waking up, no matter what sound comes out of the alarm. I feel a light pressure on my back, encouraging me to roll onto my stomach.

"Get up, Ona."

"No," I mumble.

We stay like this for a little while. I start to worry when her presence lingers on me longer than usual. This isn’t normal. I turn my head to the side to check on her. A smile creeps onto my face when I see her eyes are closed. My movement must have woken her up because she opens one eye, then the other.

"Is getting up tough, Miss Bronze?"

"Whose fault is that?"

"It’s not like I didn’t warn you..."

I clutch my pillow a bit tighter. Guilt washes over me when I see her like this. She hasn’t been spared during the last five nights I’ve spent here. She has as many dark circles under her beautiful eyes as I do.

"I don’t blame you, Ona. But get up now, or we’ll be late."

"Hmm... Don’t feel like it."

Instead of listening to her, I roll over in her bed, pulling the comforter over my head to escape her. Silence reigns until I feel a foot in my stomach, sending me tumbling off the bed. I open my eyes wide to see her grinning triumphantly. The shock leaves me speechless.

"I already let you sleep in my bed, even though I tell you every night it’s the last time... At least do me the honor of getting out when I tell you to, will you?"

I groan as she gets up and walks past me, but I smile when I’m sure she’s in the bathroom. This girl is completely crazy, yet I like her more and more every day. I didn’t think that was possible. Neither did I expect my episodes to worsen after coming to this room. Neither of us was prepared for it. Lucy even thought I had lied about the previous ones, but that wasn’t the case. In the end, we realized the only way for me to fall back asleep after an episode is to sleep in her arms until morning. If that doesn’t happen, I can’t get back to sleep for at least one or two hours.  Lucy kept telling me each time that it would be the last time and that we’d find another solution, but here we are, five nights in.

"Ona," she scolds as she comes out of the bathroom, standing in front of me with her arms crossed. "You’re really pushing it. Get up, now!"

"Alright, I’m getting up!"

"You better be! Hurry up, we’re leaving in ten minutes, max."

The one thing that hasn’t changed since coming here is her commanding nature. Sometimes I think it’s just a front to make her orders seem more fun. But deep down, I know that’s not the case. She wouldn’t hesitate to punish me if I didn’t listen. She has the authority, so she takes advantage of it. With these thoughts, I head to the bathroom, where my things are already set. Lucy has managed to change all my habits in less than a week. She makes me prepare my clothes the night before, and sometimes we even go to bed earlier than the imposed curfew to catch up on sleep. That’s unheard of for me. I quickly get dressed, brush my teeth, and apply some makeup. I barely have time to fix my hair when the door opens, and  Lucy walks in.

"Ready to go?"

"Yep, I just need to grab my jacket and bag."

 Lucy hands me my jacket with a small smile. In her other hand, I also see my bag.

"Thanks," I say, holding back an eye roll.

I’ve discovered that  Lucy is very particular about order. I thought I was meticulous, but she’s on another level. Her room is always impeccably tidy, and she’s incredibly organized. Case in point: our suitcases are already packed, just waiting for our return later this afternoon. Once everything is set, we leave her room. We greet an instructor who came out at the same time as us, then I follow  Lucy down the stairs. I still feel a bit strange being here, but I’m no longer afraid of what her colleagues think. All the educators were informed that I’ve been staying with Lucy ever since a teacher caught me in the hallways when I was heading to her room alone one night. I had been hanging out late with Alexia, not paying attention to the time. The teacher dragged me to the principal’s office without listening to a word I said. He felt pretty foolish when Wiegman explained the situation to him.

"Shall we meet up later?"  Lucy asks me.

"Yep, I’ll meet you at the car, then?"

"Around one o’clock, yes."

"Alright, have a good morning."

"Thanks, you too."

We’ve settled into a bit of a routine. I leave her to wait for her friend at the back door of my dorm while I head to the cafeteria to meet up with mine. Alexia always waits for me out front to ask how my night went. No one has noticed our routine yet because we always join them at the table anyway. Today, we’re the last ones to arrive. We sit in our usual spots with our full trays and join in on the discussions already happening during our absence. It’s the best part of the day. Since we wake up early, we always have time to chat until eight o’clock. Sometimes, there are exceptions where we leave the cafeteria early, like today. I don’t return to  Lucy’s room. I’m not allowed to. Besides, I know she needs to shower since she always goes for a run after breakfast. Since I live with her, I’ve started to learn her habits. We already spent a lot of time together, but now it’s even more. However, I’ve been trying to balance things since Alexia confessed that she misses me. I realized I was spending more time with  Lucy, so I decided to organize myself better. Now, I dedicate my classes and free time before meals to Alexia and my evenings to Lucy in her room. I’ll see how I manage once I’m swamped with homework again, as I’ve asked to work in Lucy’s office, and I know she won’t forget that. In the meantime, I head to class. The day goes relatively well. For a week now, we haven’t really been following the lessons since these are our last few weeks. We’re still working, but nothing important, so we end up laughing a lot with Alexia, making the most of our last two hours together. Maybe too much, as we get reprimanded by our teachers quite a bit. Today is no exception.

"Seriously, you should’ve seen her face when I told her," she giggles, talking about her girlfriend without any discretion. "It was hilarious!"

"Alright, enough!" shouts the teacher. "Out, both of you! Now!"

I widen my eyes at the tone our teacher suddenly took. I expected him to react again after his first warning, but not this harshly. He’s the only one who’s gone so far as to kick us out. We must have pushed him to his limit. Our teacher in the first class was more lenient with us.

"No, it’s fine, we’ll calm down," my neighbor replies.

"You’ve already told me that ten minutes ago," he retorts. "And the rest of the week too. This is the last straw. Out!"

To accompany his words, he points to the door. Alexia reluctantly packs up her things. She gives me a stern look to prompt me to do the same when she notices I’m not moving. The only problem is that I’m frozen. I’m going to be in so much trouble if I leave this room.

"Batlle, do you need a special invitation?"

"No, it’s fine..."

"Excuse me?!"

I don’t reply anymore, afraid of making things worse and getting written up too. It wouldn’t be the first time. I grab my bag and join Alexia, who is already at the door. As if that wasn’t enough, the teacher asks another student to escort us to Bronze' office. I’m in so much trouble. Ale is teasing me.

"Oh, come on, you shouldn’t be that scared! It’s been ages since Bronze punished you."

"You don’t get it. If I’m denied the weekend because of this, I’m a dead girl!"

"You’re overreacting," she laughs.

Oh no, I’m not. She doesn’t understand why I’m so scared. We arrive at my supervisor’s office quicker than I would’ve liked. Two pairs of eyes are on us as the student escorting us knocks on the door. My first instinct is to stare at my feet.

"Ooh... This doesn’t look good," Ingrid comments.

I bite my lip. If she caught on that fast, I have no doubt  Lucy will too. I hear the latter stand up from my peripheral vision. I fidget with my fingers, dreading making eye contact with her.

"What’s going on?"

"I—," my classmate tries to explain.

"I wasn’t talking to you," she interrupts. « Ona?"

- We-

- I said Ona, snaps Lucy harshly in response to Alexia’s attempt to speak.

I lift my head for the first time since I’ve been here. I realize that I’ve positioned myself behind Alexia without meaning to. To my surprise,  Lucy doesn’t look angry, or she’s hiding it very well. She raises an eyebrow when our eyes meet and crosses her arms.

- We got kicked out, I mumble.

- Excuse me? I don’t think I heard you correctly.

I swallow hard. She’s right about one thing—she’s a very good actress. She’s angry. I doubt her lack of sleep will help matters. I press myself against the wall as she approaches us. She sighs, ripping the paper from Megan’s hands violently.

- Alright. Go back to class.

She’s so terrified that she bumps into me as she leaves the room.  Lucy doesn’t take her eyes off me, which also tends to scare me.

- Reasons? she asks me.

- Talking...

- Talking? she repeats, raising her voice. Are you kidding me?!

- No...

- I can’t believe it, she says bitterly. You promised me you wouldn’t do it again! And here you are, as soon as I loosen the reins just a little, you do it again, she snaps at me.

- Luce-

- Oh no, no, she cuts me off. Shut up, will you!

- Whoa, calm down, Ingrid intervenes. Have you seen her face or what?! She was already terrified just walking through the door! she defends me. I think she’s learned her lesson, right Ona?

I nod timidly, thanking her with a look, unable to speak. I knew she would be mad at me. Even though she’s my friend, she’s always prioritized her role as supervisor. I turn my eyes back to her when she sighs again. Her hand rubs her forehead, as if she has a migraine.

- I’m sorry, she says. I’m sleep-deprived.

- Let’s look at the bright side. We can now finish our work faster, Ingrid says, trying to lighten the mood.

 Lucy doesn’t say anything else, just gestures for me to sit in my usual spot. Alexia, who still hasn’t said a word, simply gives me a sorry expression, realizing that I was completely right to be scared.

- Well, I guess I’ll team up with mini Putellas then, Ingrid says. Come sit with me, will you?

Alexia follows the orders she’s given. I smile slightly, noticing she’s not used to being here. I’m sure it’s the first time she’s been kicked out.

- Does this change anything about our weekend? I ask Lucy timidly, who’s now standing in front of me.

- No, but you won’t have the next one, and neither will I.

- Why not?

- Because that was part of the deal with Wiegman! she informs me. How can I go if you’re not sleeping at night?

Now I feel guilty. I should have negotiated to stay in class and asked for a different seat, for example. It’s too late to come up with solutions.  Lucy slides a sheet of paper in front of me. I don’t understand her intention until she asks me to read out the numbers to help her with her work.

- Can I go to the bathroom first?

- You’re kidding me, right?

I bite my lip, wanting to collect myself before diving into her work. Her bad mood makes me anxious. She grants me this favor but insists on coming with me. I say nothing, even though I made the request to get away from her. When we arrive at the bathroom, I only breathe when I’m locked in a stall.

- I’m sorry... I dare to say once I can no longer see her.

- I’m the one who should be sorry, she surprises me by replying. You could have held off for your last class at least.

Not knowing what to say, I stay silent. I come out of the stall after flushing and stand beside her to wash my hands. I look up into the mirror when a pair of lips touches my cheek. The contact lasts longer than it should. I remain speechless at this more-than-pleasant gesture.

- Do me a favor and don’t get kicked out again for the rest of the year. I won’t be as lenient next time, knowing what you’ve become. Got it?

- Yeah... Sorry again about your weekend... There’s no chance I’ll have it.

- I’ll make sure you don’t. That will be your punishment, she tells me. I had planned to offer you a weekend in the Alps with my friends. Now I’ll have to reschedule everything since I can’t go anymore, and I’m not sure if you’ll be invited then.

- What’s this about...?

- I wanted to surprise you since I’m forbidding you to go back to Barcelona.

- You would have taken me with you...?

- Of course.

- And now you don’t want to take me?

- Not until you prove you deserve it.

She winks at me before leaving the room. I quickly toss my paper towel and follow her. Damn it! I’ve messed everything up! I’m sure she’s trying to make me feel guilty, and it’s working perfectly. I try to convince her to change her mind on the way back, but it’s no use.

- Please, Luc-

She puts her finger on my mouth, making me stop so I don’t run into her. I look around and see that we’re back at the office, and our friends are laughing at us.

- That’s enough. I said no.

- So, are you two best friends again? Ingrid asks.

- No, she’s just trying to persuade me to take her on the weekend we planned.

- Oh... I forgot about that... Damn. Can’t we go now? Can’t you work something out?

- That’s what I’m trying to ask her! I reply.

- I said no. It’s your punishment. Now move your chair over here. You’re supposed to be helping me, remember?

She sits behind her desk with a determined look. I glance at Ingrid, who seems exasperated by her friend’s behavior. Without much enthusiasm, I follow the order and sit next to her. Alexia also sits next to Ingrid to work better. I retrieve the previous sheet and make myself comfortable, crossing my legs.

- First to finish wins? Ingrid challenges us. We’ve been waiting for you for this.

- Fine by me,  Lucy surprises me by agreeing. You’d better be efficient. I hate losing.

I chuckle and nod.  Lucy gives the signal to start our silly contest. I quickly give her the first eight-digit code to avoid getting scolded. We keep going like this for a good half hour until the bell rings in the hallway.

- Already? Ingrid exclaims. Do you have one or two hours of detention?

- Two, I respond instinctively at the same time as Lucy.

 Lucy gives me a dark look.

- What? It was my turn to answer.

- Hmm.

I sense amusement from Ingrid. It’s true, it’s pretty funny to see us connecting this way. Alexia is more discreet next to her, even though she’s probably thinking the same thing as us.

"Alright, give me the next one?" she reminds me.

Friday, January 15; 12:40 PM - Manchester Airport.

Ten minutes have passed since Lucy and I arrived at the airport. The morning had been tense since my dismissal, but  Lucy calmed down after we crushed the other team just before lunch. After that, we separated to eat, then I met her on the same side street as last time when it was time to leave. Now, I’m eagerly waiting for Mapi to arrive, and I think I’ve mentioned that enough already. I’m starting to get fed up with the tension between Lucy and me. It feels like it’s only getting worse. She’s been ignoring me since we got here, tapping away on her phone doing who knows what. I sigh in frustration. This situation is ridiculous. I was about to speak when she finally looks at me, but then she steps back, looking behind me. The next moment, something literally jumps on me. Lucy catches me to stop me from falling. I’m attacked by a wave of kisses, causing Lucy to step back.

"Mapi, cut it out," I laugh.

"I missed you so much! Oh my God, I thought I’d never land! Seriously, how do you manage to sleep through every flight?"

I laugh, recognizing my best friend and her way of complaining without mincing words. I turn around when she finally climbs off my back.

"Good to see you, Commander! Maybe not as much as my Ona, but still!"

"Good to see you too, Mapi."

Mapi sticks close to me until we retrieve her suitcase. Since I no longer have a phone to communicate, she catches me up on her crappy week in detail without paying any attention to Lucy beside us. She missed an important exam that she hopes to retake. She also tells me she ran into her ex with Feli. Judging by Lucy’s reaction to this news, I’m not holding my breath for her to change her mind about returning to Barcelona. She eventually talks about her casual flings, which I could have done without hearing next to my supervisor. I feel extremely embarrassed, unlike Mapi, who seems totally at ease. I get a brief break when she grabs her suitcase from the conveyor belt.

"Does she always talk this much?"  Lucy asks.

"It’s just the beginning..."

"Great. I thought no one could be worse than you."

"Hey!" I lightly punch her. "I’m not that bad! And I did warn you that you were taking a risk by picking her up."

She pinches my cheek when I pout. I give a victorious smile when she apologizes, saying she was joking. She quickly withdraws her hand when Mapi comes back. She resumes her monologue all the way to the parking lot.

"Wow, nice ride! An Audi? You didn’t mention that, Ona! Can I sit in the front?"

"No!"  Lucy and I reply in unison.

"Whoa, calm down, you two," she chuckles.

 Lucy avoids us by getting into her car. I help Mapi put her suitcase in the trunk before we get in too.  Lucy hasn’t let me drive her car since last week, but I was glad she let me do it at least once. The feeling of driving her car was magical, and I understand why when it purrs at startup.

"By the way, Ona?" Mapi asks.

"Can’t you just shut up for, like, five minutes?"  Lucy growls.

"Is she always this grumpy?"

I laugh as my best friend points at  Lucy with an indifferent look.  Lucy’s going to explode any second if she keeps pushing her buttons like this.

"If you don’t stop soon, I’ll leave you on the side of the road!"

This scene is truly hilarious. Mapi eventually cooperates by sinking into her seat and sulking. Now she knows what it’s like to be put in her place by  Lucy Bronze.

"What was your question?" I finally ask.

"Um, I’m not sure I’m allowed to talk..." she pouts.

"Don’t be upset. She was joking. Right, Lucia?"

"Mm," she responds.

"So?" I press.

"Did you sort out your phone problem? You said you would this week."

I sigh and shake my head, thinking about that issue.

"I called my mom. She gave me a hard time when I explained that mine was broken. We argued until she finally agreed to let me cancel the line and get a new one."

"And?"

"Well, I eventually got the green light."

"So it’s good? You can get a new phone?"

"Normally, yes."

"Then why don’t you already have one?"

"Because Lucy will take me when she feels like it."

I see Mapi flinch in her seat through the rearview mirror. I glance at  Lucy, who sighs heavily. I place my hand on her shoulder to try to calm her down. I think Mapi’s presence is irritating her. She was happy to host us last week, though. Maybe I’m wrong. Her mood has worsened since my dismissal. I feel responsible. We had started the day off well. I smile as I realize that my touch has an effect, against all expectations.

"Go ahead, Mapi, spit it out,"  Lucy encourages.

"Well... We could go get one now, right? But, you know, it’s up to you! You’re the driver, after all..."

"Alright, let’s go. I’ll have the opportunity to leave you there if you keep annoying me."

I laugh, removing my hand from Lucy. She changes direction towards a street I recognize. She’s actually heading downtown.

"Take out my phone and send a message to Ingrid asking her to meet us," she orders.

I don’t think twice and do what she asks. My best friend is here, so she can ask hers to join us too. Ten minutes later, we’re in the underground parking of the shopping mall. I’ve visited a lot of places, but I’ve never been here. We follow Lucy, who heads for the stairs. She’s tapping away on her phone, as if we’re not even there. We arrive in the middle of a dozen brand-name stores. I spin around to see if I spot any stores I might like. It only lasts a second, but when I stop, I don’t see anyone beside me anymore. I move forward a bit, hoping to spot  Lucy, Mapi, or maybe even Ingrid, but I don’t recognize any faces. There’s no one. I’m alone, and I start to panic like a little girl who’s lost her mother in the supermarket. I look around and even search my pockets, but I quickly remember that I haven’t had a phone for weeks. I stop when I start to feel overwhelmed. I’m beginning to think I’ll never find them with all these people around. I jump when a strong hand suddenly presses on my shoulder. I was ready to fight back, but I relax when I come face to face with  Lucy.

"Oh, thank God..."

Without thinking, I hug her. She chuckles softly, accepting the embrace. She doesn’t seem to notice my panicked state. Yet, I can feel my heart racing against her warm body. I pull away from her so she doesn’t realize how exaggerated my reaction was.

"Sorry, I... I didn’t see you leave, and I thought I’d never find you again."

"Calm down," she smiles. "I’m here now. Give me your hand so I don’t lose you again. Your wonderful best friend and Ingrid are waiting for us."

She knows exactly how to calm me down. I smile and happily take the hand she offers. She pulls me along in a direction I definitely wouldn’t have taken if I had gone looking for them.

" Lucy?" I call out to her.

« Mm?"

- "I'm sorry for ruining your mood... It's my fault, and I hate seeing you like this."

I bite my lip when our eyes meet. She smiles tenderly.

- "It's not your fault."

- "But—"

- "I promise, Ona," she interrupts, tightening her grip on my hand. "If you don't want things to get worse, don't stray from me again."

I smile at her, and she finally lets go of my hand when we reach Mapi and Ingrid, who are deep in debate. It almost seems like they've known each other for ages, even though they've only met twice.

- "Oh, there you are at last!" Mapi exclaims when she sees us. "Can we go now?"

- "Of course. Try not to get lost again."

Ingrid and Mapi walk ahead of us as if we weren't there. Well, they do glance back at us occasionally.  Lucy tells me that the mobile store is on the next floor when I ask her. We take the escalator to get there.  Lucy takes my hand again as I start to lag behind them. The other two girls decide to leave us to check out the store across from the mobile shop when we arrive. At least we'll have a little peace, and I'll have time to choose a phone without any pressure.

- "Hello," a salesman approaches us right away with a predatory smile. "Can I help you?"

- "We're fine, thanks,"  Lucy replies coldly. "We're just browsing for now."

I give the salesman an apologetic smile, realizing that he's unwittingly sparked my boss's ire. I hurry to join her when she calls me over a bit further away. I apologize and quickly catch up to her.

- "I guess you want an iPhone? Can you even afford it?"

- "Yes, yes! My mom sent me some money."

- "Do you want to look at anything else?"

- "Are you kidding?" I giggled. "I only have Apple products; I'm not going to look at Samsung!"

- "As you wish," she smiles. "So, which model? You had a 13, right?"

- "Yeah," I sighed. "Actually, I'm torn. I could get the latest model, but I think it's too expensive. What do you think?"

- "What I think? It's not up to me to decide."

- "I'm just asking for your opinion..."

- "There's not much difference between the latest models. It's up to you to decide what you want."

- "Do you need advice?"

 Lucy lets out a grumpy sigh towards the salesman who returns. I stifle a laugh and place my hand on her arm, which is holding one of the displayed phones.

- "We'll come to you when I've made my choice," I simply say.

He nods. I think he got the message now. I smile, seeing  Lucy glaring at him as he walks away. I call her to get her attention. She raises an eyebrow, noticing my amused expression.

- "You think this is funny?"

- "He's not doing anything wrong; he's just doing his job."

- "Yeah, well, if his job is to check out all the pretty girl in this store, I hope he gets a bonus considering how often he stares at you."

I look at her, stunned by that comment I didn't expect at all. A burst of laughter escapes me, causing her to frown. It's one of the last things I expected to hear from her. I wipe away the tears forming in the corners of my eyes.

- "Are you done?" she snaps coldly.

- "Sorry, Luce, but why are you reacting like this? Who cares? I won't ever see this guy again anyway."

- "Yeah. Well, are you done so we can leave? The last thing we need is for the others to show up, and that would be the icing on the cake."

- "Hey, are you done being like this? As long as those two are together, they leave us alone. It's pretty nice, isn't it?"

- "Which one are you choosing?"

I sighed, realizing that my words wouldn't change her mood. I hope it'll fade soon because I won't be able to put up with it for long. I give up and change the subject, pointing to a phone in front of us, the iPhone 15.

- "That one, then?"

- "Yeah."

- "You know it's really expensive?"

- "Let's just say my mom transferred me a generous amount," I giggled. "Might as well enjoy it, right?"

- "You could use it for something else."

I stare at the new iPhone for a moment. According to people, it's the phone to have. I'm so tempted, but  Lucy's eyes are much more compelling. I let out a defeated sigh.

- "Alright, alright, I’ll go for the other one then."

I settle for the iPhone 14 that was right next to it.  Lucy nods, as if she approves of the obvious choice.

- "So, black or white, Princess?"

- "White," I finally said without hesitation, crossing my arms.

- "Okay," she laughs. "Let's find a saleswoman."

- "The salesman was fine by me," I teased. "Especially since I told him we'd go back to him."

- "You really want to irritate me to the end?"

We lock eyes for a moment until I look away to find the salesman in the store. I’m not trying to annoy her, but I don’t want to give her the final say on everything either. I smile when I finally see him and waste no time going over to him.

- "Ona," she

 growls behind me.

- "Have you made your choice?" he asks warmly when I reach him.

- "Yes, I have. Can you take care of it?"

- "I'm not sure your girlfriend feels the same way..."

- "Oh, she’s not—"

- "If it were up to me, I would have gone to your colleague already," my boss retorts. "Just do your job."

- "R-right... If you would follow me..."

The poor salesman is almost running out of fear as he heads to his desk with a computer. I wait a moment before following him to turn back to  Lucy.

- "Are you serious? Why did you let him think we were together?!" I giggled.

8

"I’m saving you from his flirting tactics."

"Oh yeah? Who says I didn’t want to be flirted with?"

"Doesn’t matter," she rolls her eyes. "Come on, he’s waiting for us."

I smile unconsciously as I walk past her. This situation is actually quite funny. The poor salesperson doesn’t dare look at us when we sit on the stools in front of his desk. He prefers to focus on his screen to do his job. I suppress a smile when  Lucy continues her act by placing her hand on my knee. I have no idea what’s gotten into her, but I don’t mind it.

"So... uh, what would you like to do?" he finally looks at me.

"Open a new line."

"Alright... Are you already a customer with us?"

"Yes."

"She’d like a new no-contract plan,"  Lucy intervenes. "That’s what you wanted, right?" she asks me for confirmation.

I nod with a sly smile. The guy taps on the keyboard as I give him my line number. He accesses all the information my mom provided when setting it up. Fortunately, she had the sense to put it in my name, or else I wouldn’t have been able to change anything. He quickly switches the line when I tell him the plan I want with a new number.

"Uh... what model do you want?"

"iPhone 14 in white," I replied.

"Are you sure you don’t want to go for black, being undecided that you are?"  Lucy asks with an amused smile.

"Stop it," I giggle. "You’re really silly."

"Yet, I’m the one on top," she murmurs.

Her words were a whisper, but loud enough for the salesperson to hear. I can’t hide my surprise when I catch her smirking. I can’t believe she dared to say that! My cheeks flush with embarrassment, and I can’t think of anything to say in response. She’s taking this role-play way too far. The salesperson is so uncomfortable that he gets up, saying he’s going to get my phone from the stockroom.

"What were you thinking?" I spitied as soon as he left.

"Oh, it was just a joke. I’m not sure which of you was more uncomfortable," she teases.

"It wasn’t funny at all, you idiot!"

I can’t hold back my smile as she laughs even more. Goodness, I don’t understand what’s gotten into her all of a sudden. Just a few minutes ago, she was completely grumpy.

"We should play this game more often."

I turn my head to hide my embarrassment. I didn’t know she could be so teasing. I push her hand away when she tries to slide it up my thigh to provoke a reaction. I glare at her, but she’s not intimidated in the slightest. She just chuckles and places her hand back on my knee when the salesperson returns. He sets the box with my new phone on the counter after scanning the barcode.

"Alright. Now we just need to set it up. We can do it together if you’d like."

"Yes, please."

He removes the plastic wrapping and pushes the box toward me.

"Do you know how to do it yourself?"

"Of course."

"I’ll let you handle it then. Is there anything else you need?"

"A screen protector,"  Lucy replies.

I hadn’t thought of that, but it’s a good idea considering how my last phone ended up. I nod, and he gets up again. Meanwhile, I take my new phone out of the box and insert my new SIM card under  Lucy’s watchful eye.

"This game is ridiculous," I say.

"I thought I was doing you a favor," she says, removing her hand.

"A little, yeah. But we both know he wouldn’t have tried anything more."

"That’s true. I don’t know what made me react that way, but it annoyed me to see him looking at you like prey."

A foolish smile spreads across my lips. I appreciate that she doesn’t let people disrespect me. I try to convince myself that there’s no hidden motive behind it. That’s probably the case anyway. I turn on my phone and start setting it up, syncing it with my account. I feel relieved when I see my home screen, as if I never broke my previous phone. I’m thrilled to find all my data intact.

"Did you manage?" the salesperson asks upon his return.

"Yes, everything’s working," I reply with a smile.

"Great, here’s the receipt," he hands me a sheet of paper. "You’ll find a one-year warranty, your new phone number, and of course, the price. Are you paying by card?"

"Yes," I confirm.

He hands me the machine once he’s inserted my card. I enter my code before handing it back.  Lucy takes the bag where the salesperson has put the empty phone box and the receipt. I thank the salesperson as he returns my card.

"Have a good day," he wishes us.

"Thank you, you too."

I put my phone in my pocket before anything can happen to it, and we head out to meet Mapi and Ingrid. It wasn’t difficult to find them. They were waiting on a bench across from the store. The first thing Mapi asks me for is my new number. I choose the simplest way: sending her a message. I do the same with  Lucy and end up getting Ingrid’s number, which she readily gives me. “Just in case,” she says. I’m not sure I’ll use it, but at least I’ll know who to contact if I can’t reach  Lucy one day.

"So, movie night at my place tonight?"  Lucy suggests.

"Really?" Mapi enthuses. "Like, all four of us?"

"I’d love to leave you behind, but Ona wouldn’t let me."

We all laugh except for Mapi. The girls get up, and we head back down to the parking lot. Mapi immediately agrees to Ingrid’s offer to ride with her. I stay with  Lucy, who seems pleased to get rid of my best friend. I know she likes her and that it’s just her bad mood talking, so I’m not worried about the rest of our weekend. I’m beaming when she hands me the car keys.

"You’re letting me drive?!"

"Mm-hmm."

"But I don’t know the way to your place..."

"I’ll guide you."

I don’t ask her a third time and take her keys. She makes sure I’m settled in and have my license with me before letting me go. I start the car, unable to hide my smile as I think about the evening ahead.

[fangirl-writes]

Doppelgänger

Benny Weir x Fem!Reader

MBAV Masterlist

Warning(s): near-death, canon-level violence

Request: can be found here.

Notes: This is a mix of multiple things that we’ve seen in MBAV episodes while also stealing a little bit of plot from the Vampire Diaries. Hope you like it! 

PS: I kinda want to make this into a full fledged fic because I had so many ideas that were hard to package into a one-shot but we’ll see if I ever actually do that.

Summary: A doppelganger traps you in a mirror dimension and slowly sucks the life out of you so it can take your place. Will Benny and friends save you in time? (yes obviously, but the suspense)

You stare across the room, into the only window in the otherwise dark room, the yellow glow of it staring back at you.

It was a tragic way to die, in a place without light, where your loved ones would never find you. All the while a cheap copy of you wandered freely, fooling your friends and your Benny.

Benny. Would you ever get to see him again?

Perhaps you’d get lucky and he would peer into the mirror so his eyes would be the last thing you saw before the life finished draining from you.

He’d probably feel so guilty, think it was all his fault. 

But it wasn’t.

If there was anyone to blame, it was the vampire who seemed a regular bane to the existence of White Chapel and its inhabitants.

Let’s start from the beginning, shall we?

In the school’s theater, in a dressing room we’ve seen before, lies a cracked mirror that once held the spirit of Olivia Frye. And while her spirit no longer posses it, that doesn’t mean the magic of the mirror is gone.

The vanity lights flicker on in the otherwise dark room, illuminating the pale face and blue eyes of Jesse Black.

Reaching into his pocket, Jesse pulls out Benny’s spellbook.

He opens it on a marked page, running his fingers across the paper before reading aloud: “Zacaroth Maznacaroth. Dimitte hunc spiritum e carcere, ut iterum vivant.”

As he reads, the mirror begins to repair itself, the cracks sealing up. But as they are doing so, a mist also starts to leak from the glass.

A grin spreads across Jesse’s lips and he chuckles darkly. “Welcome back, my dear.”

Before him stands the ghostly figure of who appears to be you, but she’s faded, missing the color in her body that signifies life. Except for her eyes that shine the same unnatural blue as Jesse’s.

The following morning, you, Ethan, and Benny are walking down the hallway of White Chapel High as Benny searches in vain for his spellbook.

“Are you sure you didn’t accidentally make it vanish again?” Ethan asks.

“No, it was in here last night I swear,” Benny says before groaning and angrily throwing his bag closed. “The one day I wanted to make Ms. Fine forget about our essays and the thing disappears! It’s like it knows when I’m using it for evil. You think my grandma put a spell on it?”

“If she was gonna do that, she’d have done it long before now,” Ethan replies.

“You know, if you started memorizing your spells like you talk about, this wouldn’t be a problem,” You say.

“And if you had agreed to strip studying I would have tried,”

“Okay, gross,” Ethan says, pulling a face.

“Y/N.”

You perk your head up, looking around the hallway for whoever said your name, finding no one in a sea of faces.

“Y/N.”

You turn around, following the voice but still seeing no one.

“Hey.”

You jump as Benny’s hand touches your shoulder.

“Are you okay?”

You let out a breath and smile at him. “Yeah, I just thought I heard someone call my name. It’s probably nothing.”

Benny nods and pulls you closer to him, his arm wrapping around your shoulder as you continue your trail to your lockers.

The voices persisted as the day went on, bothering you in class and at lunch, making you feel scared and crazy. Not to mention incredibly distracted.

It made it hard to focus on math or science and especially English where you were meant to be reading Shakespeare and reviewing essays.

“Ms. L/N.”

Ms. Fine startles you out of your stupor and you hurriedly hand her your rough draft, printed and stapled together.

“Are you feeling alright?” She asks and you make a quick decision.

“Actually, I’m feeling a little sick. Can I be excused for the nurses office?”

“Sure. But hurry back.”

You nod and gather your things, exchanging a glance with Benny and Ethan each before leaving.

You really did plan to go to the nurses office until you could talk to your friends, but that damn voice started bothering you again. And in an otherwise empty hallway, it was hard to ignore.

“Y/N.”

“Oh, I’m gonna regret this,” you mumble before heading in the direction of the voice.

You follow it all the way to the theater, which is dark except for the light coming from one of the dressing rooms.

“Please don’t be a ghost,” you whisper to yourself. “Or a vampire, werewolf, ghoul, zombie, whatever. Let me be having a psychotic break because of stress and this voice isn’t real.”

You cautiously peak into the room...and find nothing.

The room is empty except for the vanity and chair. And the voice has gone quiet.

Shaking your head, you walk into the room and sit down in the chair. “Maybe I am going crazy.”

Your a little startled by your reflection, which is pale even under the warm lighting.

“...or maybe I’m actually sick.”

You press a hand to your face, checking for a temperature, watching as your reflection does the same.

Letting your hand drop, you observe the mirror more closely, eyebrows furrowing together.

“Wait a minute, wasn’t this mirror-”

You let out a scream as your reflection surges forward and pulls you into the mirror before jumping out in your place.

You collapse on a cold floor, hurriedly standing back up and rushing toward the mirror’s opening but your reflection holds out a hand, causing the mirror to seal back up and trap you inside.

“Sorry,” she says. “But I can’t have two of us running around to ruin my plans.”

You bang on the glass. “Hey! Stop! Let me out!”

But she’s already gone, leaving the room and shutting the door, enveloping you in darkness.

“Didn’t you see the look on her face?” Benny asks. “Something’s wrong.”

“I’m sure she’s fine,” Ethan replies. “It’s probably just a headache. You know how too much supernatural stuff gets to her sometimes.”

“Yeah, but this was different. She’s been hearing voices all day. I’m starting to worry this is something bad.”

Benny pushes open the door to the nurse’s office, expecting to find you laying there but instead the small bed was empty.

“Can I help you boys?” The nurse asks from her desk.

“Uh, sorry, but did Y/N L/N come in here earlier?”

“No, I haven’t seen her in here today.”

Benny feels a pit in his stomach. “Right, thank you.”

He closes the door and exchanges a look with Ethan. “She didn’t come back to class and she didn’t come here. So where is she?”

Ethan looks a little more worried now. “I don’t know.”

“Oh, hey, Y/N,” Rory says.

Not-you turns to look at him and Rory is taken aback.

“You okay? You’re paler than usual. Did you get bitten by a vampire? Attacked by an abominable snowman? Possessed by a ghost?”

Not-you smiles. “Oh, no, I’m actually an ancient doppelgänger who just looks like Y/N.”

Rory’s eye go wide. “Woah, really? That’s so cool. But...why’re you telling me?”

Not-you pats him on the head. “Cause you’re not smart enough to try and stop me.”

“Oh. Yeah that’s fair. Where’re you off to anyway?”

Not-you hums. “I’m smart enough not to tell you that.”

“Oh, great,” you mumble, watching as your battery drops another percentage, but the bars never move from zero.

How are you supposed to call for help?

It’s chilling, sitting in the dark with nothing but your phone for light. Your eyes can’t even adjust to the darkness because there’s nothing to see; you’re in a void.

A headache is slowly making itself known and you can’t be sure if its from staring at your phone screen or because a doppelgänger trapped you in a mirror.

The supernatural always has a way of giving you a headache. Doesn’t matter what it is.

Ethan can hardly touch you because if he has a vision, you’ll have a migraine for the rest of the week. If Erica, Sarah, or Rory use their superspeed around you, you’ll nearly faint.

Benny’s the only one who can use his powers and not effect you. You aren’t sure why.

He likes to joke that it’s because your soulmates. 

“I don’t know, E, I just have a bad feeling about this,” Benny says. “Sarah! Have you seen Y/N?”

Sarah, who was just putting her bag on her shoulder at her locker, turns to the boys. “No, is she missing?”

“Yeah we haven’t seen her since English and Benny’s freaking out,” Ethan replies.

“Aw, does Benny miss his girlfriend?”

“No, I mean yes, but that’s not what I’m worried about. She’s been hearing voices all day, what if something spooky got her?”

Sarah smiled. “Benny, if something spooky was happening we would surely know by now. Ethan would’ve had a vision or Rory would pop in with some information he doesn’t realize is important.”

As if on cue, Rory appears. “Heard my name!”

“Perfect,” Benny says. “Okay, Rory, give us some of that sweet sweet information. Have you seen Y/N?”

Rory’s eyebrows furrow. “Well, yeah, but she said it wasn’t really her. She said she was an ancient doppelgänger who just looks like Y/N.”

Benny gestures wildly. “You guys concerned now?!”

“Okay, yeah, maybe,” Ethan replies. “Did she say what she was doing or where she was going?”

Rory shakes his head. “No, she said she was too smart to tell me.”

“Curses,” Benny says. “They’re starting to figure out our tricks. Come on, I need to find my spellbook to track her.”

Ethan, Benny, and Sarah hurry off, leaving Rory behind. 

“You’re welcome,” he says, miffed that they disregarded him. 

“Ah, nice to see you in the flesh again,” Jesse says, tossing some popcorn in his mouth.

“I see you’re still fond of the theater where your plans were ruined,” Not-you replies, eyeing the room.

“I’m a sentimental guy,” he says. “And with you, my plans can’t be ruined again.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that. My doppelgänger might be a mortal but she has the same power I do, under the surface.”

“Don’t tell me your afraid?”

“Not afraid. Just cautious,” Not-you says. “Arrogance is what got you defeated the first time. I won’t make the same mistake of underestimating them.”

Jesse stands up and walks over to Not-you, grabbing her arm. “Starting to get some flesh back, I see.”

“Swapping places with Y/N has helped immensely. Give it a few more hours and I’ll be back to full strength.”

“And Y/N?”

“Collateral damage.”

Jesse smiles. “Then we don’t need to underestimate them. We can destroy them.”

Meanwhile, Benny, Ethan, and Sarah are tearing apart Benny’s room, trying to find his spellbook.

“Goodness me, what’s going on in here?”

“Grandma!” Benny exclaims, popping out from under his bed. “Have you seen my spellbook?”

“No. Don’t tell me you’ve lost it, Benny, you know how dangerous that is,” she replies.

“I know, I know, but lecture me later, we have to find Y/N.”

“Y/N is missing?”

“Yeah,” Sarah says. “She was switched with a doppelgänger.”

Evelyn purses her lips. “Circe.”

“Who?” Ethan asks. 

“Circe,” Evelyn repeats. “She’s an old witch who caused quite the ruckus in White Chapel. Reverend Black tried to have her burnt at the stake but considering that he turned out to be a vampire I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s resurrected her somehow.”

Benny gasps. “With my spellbook!”

“Follow me,” Evelyn says, leading the group of them to her basement where she digs through a box for a leather bound book.

“Ah!” She says. “Here it is.”

She flips it open, going through the pages before stopping on one. “Here she is.”

“Woah,” Ethan says. “She really does look like Y/N.”

“Doppelgängers were created by nature after ancient beings defied their laws by creating immortality. Circe must’ve tried to make herself immortal, causing the doppel curse,” Evelyn explains.

You’re starting to feel horrible. Your body getting heavier and heavier, a weight on your chest growing. 

It wasn’t like the usual anxiety or claustrophobia you’ve experienced before. No, this felt like your soul was slowly being sucked from your body.

Is this it? you think. Is this really how I’m going to go out?

You raise your phone, the bars still empty and the battery too low for comfort.

“God,” you mumble.

Jesse pulls the Cubile Animus from his pocket. “This is what we’ll use to capture the souls.”

Circe raises an eyebrow at him. “Is that thing going to be able to hold all the supernatural souls? They’re more powerful than human souls.”

“Well, if you happen to have another soul-holder laying around, you just let me know,” Jesse says, scowling at her.

“I’m just saying, maybe you should’ve done some research before you set this plan into motion.”

“It’s going to work.” Jesse snaps, getting into Circe’s face. 

“All right, if you say so,” she replies, lifting a magical hand, glowing gold, and pressing it against the box.

You gasp, feeling a sudden rush of adrenaline and your eyes flicker a gold that makes its way down your face, arms, and into your phone, causing it to call Benny.

“If Circe has taken Y/N’s place you need to find her fast. The longer Circe stays in her place, the more of Y/N’s lifeforce she takes,” Evelyn says. “She could die.”

As if on cue, Benny’s phone rings. 

He scrambles to check it, Y/N’s name glowing on the screen. “Oh my god.”

He answers it. “Y/N? Where are you, baby?”

“Benny...” your voice is faint and quiet. “...mirror...”

“Mirror? I don’t know what that means, you’re gonna have to be more specific.”

The urgency in his voice is obvious and you’re trying your best.

“At- at school...the mirror...”

“A mirror at school? The mirror at school?”

“Olivia Frye’s mirror!” Ethan says with a snap of his fingers. “In the theater.”

“Y/N, babe, is that right? You’re in Olivia’s mirror?”

“..yes.”

“Great, let’s go,” Sarah says.

“Be careful!” Evelyn replies as they go.

“Y/N, stay on the phone with me, okay?”

You groan. “Benny, I’m so tired...”

They throw themselves into Grandma’s car, Sarah driving.

"No, no, baby girl, stay awake for me,” Benny pleads, hearing your breathing become labored.

“Benny...” you whisper out one last time before the phone goes dead.

“Y/N? Y/N! Y/N, baby, please- god dang it!” Benny throws his phone down.

“It’s okay, Benny, we’ll find her,” Ethan says. “She’s gonna be fine.”

“I hope so, E, I really hope so.”

"Do it now,” Jesse demands.

Circe’s eyes glow gold and she whispers an incantation.

Meanwhile, Erica and Rory are out looking for a midnight snack. 

“Are you sure we should be out here?” Rory asks. “Sarah said there’s a powerful witch out here somewhere. And that she’s working with Jesse.”

“What’s Jesse got against us?” Erica replies. “If anything he should be thanking us for being his only turns that survived. Natural selection in my opinion.”

Suddenly, her body goes rigid and a glowing, white mist flows out of her mouth and shoots off. Her body collapses to the ground.

“Erica?” Rory asks, nervously, leaning down next to her.

Erica’s soul finds its way into the Cubile Animus and Jesse smiles.

Rory’s body follows ensuite of Erica’s, going still and his soul being taken from his body.

And now we’re caught up. You’re dying in unimaginable darkness, weeping. Wishing with all your might that they find you. That you’ll see your friends and Benny again.

Luckily for you, they burst through the door.

Ethan, Benny, and Sarah are to the mirror in no time, Benny’s hand pressing against the glass.

“Y/N! Come take my hand, please!”

“I-I can’t,” you cry, tears rolling down your cheeks as you look at him, his eyes worried, scared even.

“Yes, you can!” He replies. “I won’t let you die! You’re so close, Y/N, just come take my hand.”

It’s hard, and it hurts, but you move.

You crawl, sobbing, towards him.

Benny’s own tears are threatening to spill over as he listens to you crying. 

“Please,” he whispers. “Please, I love you.”

You reach up. And take his hand.

Feeling your grip, Benny pulls.

Your body comes tumbling out of the mirror and into Benny, who immediately hold you close, whispering “oh my god” over and over.

You’re shaking, still crying. You’re thin, pale, and weak.

“Y/N,” Sarah says softly. “Do you know where the doppelganger is?”

You close your eyes, focusing. “The theater,” you whisper. “They’re at the theater.”

More souls are being sucked into the box: Kurt Lockner’s, David Stachowski’s, all the vampire nurses.

Evelyn, knowing - or rather feeling -  what’s happening, sits in her rocking chair and mumbles a counter spell that will keep her soul inside her body.

Circe growls. “Let go, Evelyn. I’ll get your soul if it kills you.”

“Not a chance.” Evelyn replies.

Sarah hits the breaks hard, putting the car in park and jumping out of the car, Ethan following closely.

“Y/N, stay here, okay?” Benny instructs.

You nod, closing your eyes and lying down.

“Hey!” Sarah kicks open the door to the theater. “Having a party without me?”

“Sarah!” Jesse says. “Glad you can join us. Just in time for Circe to take your soul.”

“Oh yeah? Over my dead body.”

“That can be arranged,” Circe replies, turning to Sarah with glowing gold eyes.

It strikes her then how nearly exactly she looks to you.

“So your the witch who’s stealing my girlfriend’s soul!” Benny shouts.

Circe smiles. “I’m a much better model, don’t you think?”

“Not a chance, honey.”

“Jesse, I’m busy. Take care of them, won’t you?” Circe says. “Your grandmother can’t hold on forever, Benny.”

“What?” Benny cries, becoming angry. He shouts a spell, hurling it in Circe’s direction, who waves it off easily. 

“You’ll have to do better than that.”

“Come on, Sarah,” Jesse says. “We’ve been here before, haven’t we? What makes you think you’ll win this time?”

“This!” Ethan yells, shooting Jesse in the face with holy water.

Jesse screams.

“Literally never go anywhere without this. We’re smarter this time, don’t you know?”

“I don’t think you nerds have the capacity,” Jesse says, wiping the burning liquid off his face with his sleeve.

Sarah attacks him and Ethan gasps, being overcome with a vision. It’s a vision of Benny’s grandma and Jane chanting the same words she used to defeat Jesse the first time.

When he comes back to, he shouts, “Benny! Your grandma’s spell! The first one!”

The pieces clicking in his head, Benny chants those same words and watches as a bolt of lighting appears and hits Circe in the chest. She cries out, dropping the box that Benny scoops up.

“Hey, Jesse,” Benny says.

Jesse stops, Sarah’s neck in his hand, and looks at Benny.

“This look familiar?”

He opens the box, releasing the souls inside.

Jesse screams, dropping Sarah and running off.

“You coward!” Circe yells. “Coward! AH!”

The souls attack Circe, slowly pulling Y/N’s soul out of her body.

Once it’s out, Circe drops to the ground and fades away in a fog.

Breathing heavily, the three left watch as Y/N’s soul shoots off, presumably back to Y/N’s body.

“We really need to destroy this thing,” Benny says, tossing the box in the air and catching it again.

Erica and Rory burst through the doors, fangs bared, ready for a fight.

“Aw, man, did we miss it again?” Rory asks.

“Yeah, sorry, Ror,” Ethan replies.

“Ugh. I’ve been waiting to tear Jesse a new one for like, ever,” Erica says.

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll get your chance,” Sarah says.

“Oh my god, Y/N,” Benny says, shoving the box into Ethan’s hands and running out to the car, the others following.

You’re still sleeping, and breathing, thankfully. But your color isn’t back to normal, neither is your weight.

So, they take you to Evelyn.

“Her body isn’t used to magic,” she explains as Erica and Sarah set you gently onto Benny’s bed. “It’s going to take a while for her to naturally heal. But, if a few powerful magicians were to try to speed things along...”

“We can do that?” Benny asks, hopefully.

Evelyn grabs his shoulders. “We can try.”

They hold hands over your body, shutting their eyes and chanting “Extende in desiderium cordis mei; Sana hoc vulnus cum virtute ignis. Aufer aegritudinem et dolorem; Sanatio est quod offero.”

Your body glows, color coming back to you and your weight returning to its normal size, but you don’t wake up.

“Did it work?” Benny asks. “Why is she still asleep?”

“Even healing magic takes time,” Evelyn explains. “Give her a little bit.”

She pats him lightly and leaves the room, leaving Benny alone with you.

“God, I really thought I was going to lose you,” he whispers, squeezing your hand.

The time stretches on as he waits for you to wake up and he eventually nods off.

Which is when you decide to wake up.

You smile as you see him lying next to you and lean over to kiss his cheek.

He shoots awake immediately, practically tackling you in a hug. “Thank god!”

You laugh. “Thanks for saving me.”

“Always,” he replies. “Always.”

[whateverisbeautiful]

♥️Reveling in Richonne - TOWL

#10: The Burning (1.01)

gif cred: @nerd4music

I guess it really is true that some things have to burn to be brought back. 😌 Cuz Rick's helicopter had to come tumbling down in flames to finally bring our lovelies together again for their fantastic reunion. So thank you, Fire. 😋 And these final moments of episode one were just that - fire 🔥...

After the final dream-turned-nightmare, there's a time jump to “Now” as Rick pilots the helicopter and Okafor sits alongside him. Okafor thanks Rick for taking them up the coast and says he likes the way he flies. Rick doesn’t really respond so Okafor says it’s hard to tell if there’s anything on his mind because he rarely speaks these days. It’s yet another indicator that Rick really has been living life like he’s the walking dead for the past year. 

It's painful that the CRM didn’t just take home from him. They took himself from him. Especially because through Michonne, Rick found himself, a stronger more whole version of himself at that. And he would say in a heartbeat that she’s his better half and so they took the better half of himself from him, now leaving him as just a shell of who he was.

gif cred: @clonecaptains

Then in another excellently acted moment from Andy he recounts an impactful canon-event story from Rick’s youth and I love getting to learn more about Rick’s childhood.

It’s also interesting that he’s willing to open up to Okafor and tell this story. I think it shows how while Rick still is very shut down and doesn’t let anyone in close, he’s at least a bit less resistant to Okafor than before. It's almost like the CRM has tamed the beast and he's accepted being caged by them.

Rick says, “I’ve been thinking about this night when I was a kid. 7 years old.” And I like that we get to hear a story specifically from a time when Rick was the same age that his son RJ is now. Rick’s own 7-year-old is also gonna have a canon event at this age when his dad basically comes back from the dead and enters his life. 🥹

Rick shares about a night when he was 7 and thirsty and couldn’t sleep so he went to get some water. He describes his house as old with squeaky floorboards and says he was trying not to wake his family. We get to see the house and it has some Hershel’s farm vibes. Maybe I missed it in TWD but I never knew Rick was a farmer's son, but it makes total sense. It also made it make even more sense why he took so well to Hershel as a father figure in s3 and s4.

Rick recalls being on the stairs and seeing an orange light and realizing their crops were burning. He says, “I was so scared, I couldn’t move.” Rick continues, “Then my dad was there. He looked like a monster. Half his body was burnt. But he was there to get me out.”

I feel like this gives insight into so much about Rick. It sounds like he def takes after his dad and his dad’s willingness to do anything for his family even if it makes him appear like a monster. What most comes to mind hearing this is the season 4 finale and how Rick went to a dark place to protect Carl against those Claimers. Rick would do anything for his kids and wife just like his dad. 

Rick continues, “He said I didn’t need to be scared. That it was just the burning.” Interestingly, when Carl first saw his dad look like a ‘monster’ Rick didn’t have to be the one to tell him he didn’t have to be scared because his co-parent and Carl’s bff Michonne was the one to tell Carl exactly that in a beautiful bonding moment between them in the s4 finale.

And I always appreciate that s4 scene for how it strengthened Michonne and Carl's bond and also for how it showed Michonne understood Rick on such a deep level that she was never afraid of the 'monster' he can tap into. (If anything that side of Rick is something she recognized in herself and it was also something that contributed to her falling in love with him 😊)

gif cred: @thewalkingdeadgifs

Rick says his dad explained that the flames were actually protecting the plants for the next harvest. So even if it looked like it was an act of destruction it was actually an act of protection which very much is meant to illustrate how Rick views his own sacrifice and burnings as an act of protecting Michonne and Judith.

Rick’s dad told him, “It may look like the end of the world, but it’s only just the beginning.” And again that colors Rick’s own perspective since the start of the apocalypse. He chose to believe in new beginnings and hope even at the literal end of the world. 

I like that Rick describes his dad as “so certain” and “so steady” because I feel like those are qualities Rick tried to have in his kids' eyes as well. He says his dad’s certainty and steadiness made Rick feel calm and he says, “I believed him.” (A certain other 7-year-old boy is gonna express belief in his dad at the end of the series too. 😊)

It’s interesting too because I definitely think Rick is a character that suffers from anxiety. He fights hard to not let it get the best of him and to be steady but sometimes anxiety can understandably hit him hard. It sounds like his dad was someone who could calm him and now I adore the way Michonne is the one in his life who can always beautifully calm him too. 

Okafor asks if Rick’s dad survived and Rick says his dad was okay and the situation was okay. They got a new barn and new house and the crops flourished more than ever. For me, this childhood story gave a clear sign that Rick was going to get a happy ending after all the burning he’s had to do as well.

gif cred: @perryabbott

Rick then says that years later after his dad died (which made me wonder if he and Michonne both lost their parent around the same age since so much in their journeys is similar) his mom told him that his dad was actually the one who lit the fire because the farm was gonna fail “and what he did saved it. He saved us.”

Rick says he was rocked by the news because he thought his dad was the most honest man he knew. I feel like learning this about his dad showed Rick that not only do things sometimes have to burn, but sometimes you have to be the one to burn them. 

Rick’s mom said that what his dad did wasn’t right but the way his dad saw it the scars and the pain was just a reminder that “he saved us.” This story gives a lot of insight into not just Rick’s backstory but his current mindset. When he looks at his amputated arm or all the scars he’s got from his escapes, when he looks at himself trapped in that black CRM uniform, he too tries to see it as a reminder that he’s saving his wife and daughter, even if it’s killed him inside to be apart from them. 

As Rick concludes the story he looks at Okafor and says with certainty in his tone, “I’m in.” Officially letting Okafor know he’s going to dedicate himself to his mission.

gif cred: @riickgrimes

Hearing this was a gut punch because Rick had fought so hard for so long to not conform to anything regarding the CRM and now he’s fully accepted his fate here.

Okafor looks into his eyes and seems to see that Rick is sincere about this. Even tho Rick’s face as he turns away does suggest that it’s another moment of swallowing defeat.

Okafor says it’s been a good year and that he knows Rick is the right thing for this force and for his plan. Okafor says, “No more As and Bs and Omahas” and then he gets honest with Rick saying he still doesn’t know how it’s all going to play out. But I knew 🙋🏽‍♀️. He threatened Michonne so I knew this was bound to play out with Okafor at some point meeting his demise.

...What I didn't know was that his demise would occur in the next five seconds. 🫢

Okafor says he’s gonna tell Rick another secret as he shares, “when you get to that point…swear on the sword. Don’t let it take.” And hearing 'sword' I was like now I know there’s only one sword Rick would want to swear his allegiance to and it’s a katana.

gif cred: @perryabbott

Okafor tells Rick, “You’ll know. Trust me you’ll know.” about Rick knowing the right choice to make when confronted with swearing on the sword during Beale's briefing. But it’s interesting that Okafor, despite wanting to go against Beale, still tells him to swear on the sword. To me, it shows a difference between Rick and Okafor.

Okafor will swear on the sword and play the part of doing heinous things for the CRM until he can change things, whereas as we see in the finale, Rick will shut that CRM stuff down before ever fully giving in and swearing on the sword. He already knows the real sword that gives him life and it ain’t Beales. 

So speaking of Michonne😇…

gif cred: @rcsitastark

It's quite poetic that mere seconds after Rick is about to officially be in with Okafor, Michonne unknowingly lets her husband know 'no you most certainly are not in' as she's about to literally and figuratively help him get out. Like Rick being 'in' did not last long, honey. 😋

And Michonne always was the one who could most ground Rick, so it’s only fitting that in this moment she’s helping quite literally bring him back down to earth. Without even knowing it, Michonne basically said the only thing that man Rick Grimes is 'in'…is in love with her, and Okafor and all those CRM people better recognize lol.

Also, how crazy is it that Okafor had survived so much throughout all these years of being in the military and in an apocalypse and then the second he’s even in the same atmosphere as Michonne, he meets his end? 🤭 Should have kept her name out of his mouth because I’m telling you it never ends well for anyone who comes for her. She didn’t even have to meet the man before she and her bestie took out the man. 

gif credit: @andy-clutterbuck

So Okafor is cut off as we get this shocking and riveting action sequence. Something whooshes into the helicopter and pierces Okafor, causing him to bleed from the mouth and the helicopter to rock. I like how just from the sound effect I could tell that this was a similar weapon to one we saw Michonne use in the TOWL trailer.

And y’all, I really was not expecting a Richonne reunion to arrive in episode 1 so I just thought Michonne was near but wouldn't be seen yet…but not only is the real Michonne near, honey, she’s about to make her grand TOWL entrance and of course, the queen enters with a bang. 👑 (A bang that nearly kills her husband before they can reunite tho 😬. But Richonne is blessed and highly favored so it worked out. 😌)

gif cred: @taiturner

Also, I always think it’s funny how the very normal everyday setting of Rick’s park dreams just sitting on a bench with Michonne talking about work and joking about pizzas is actually the imagined stuff and then Michonne and her bestie explosively attacking Rick’s helicopter and shooting it down is the reality despite being the far more extreme and intense scenario. It's a reminder that our favorite love story takes place in a wild apocalypse.

When Okafor is first hit, Rick calls out orders and then things get even wilder as Okafor then explodes all over the place. TOWL really said we gon' get crazy so...

Rick reports that Okafor has been KIA and says he’s defending west when another hit rocks the helicopter. Andy does a great job conveying the genuine fear and terror Rick feels as he says “We’re taking fire. Oh god. We’re taking fire.” A crash like that is terrifying. Because it doesn’t matter how good a survivor you are, there’s not much you can do. But Rick still tries to do what he can.

And then the helicopter gets hit yet again and I was like dang these attackers aren’t playing around. 👀 You could just tell this attack was personal because they were gunning this helicopter down not once, not twice, but three times. 

It was insane to see such a calm moment between Rick and Okafor end with Okafor’s blood splattered everywhere, including all over Rick.

gif cred: @vidco

The helicopter comes crashing down and Rick is rocked. But again because he’s a leader and an A to his core, he manages to gather himself enough to take over and give orders to the others as they prepare to engage. Which again is such crazy circumstances because just surviving a regular crash would be a lot to deal with and now they have to immediately be ready for an attack on the ground.

gif cred: @andy-clutterbuck

Rick and co grab their guns and hit the PRB (which those PRBs will cause some serious complications in this show). More missiles hit the soldiers as Rick and the soldiers fire shots back. And again, these attackers did not come to play cuz they were shooting missile after missile at these uniformed guys. 

gif cred: @taiturner

The blast from one missile knocks Rick and some soldiers to the ground.

And then in a moment of absolute cinema, Rick starts crawling on the leafy ground as feet approach in the background.

gif cred: @nat111love

She’s here!!!! 🎉🤩🎉🤩🎉

I remember watching this moment on premiere day and being like are you serious I’m about to see my beloved real Michonne right now??? 🫢😭 Like this was truly live footage of my brain watching this moment on premiere day...

Again, I was so not expecting a Richonne reunion to happen in the first episode so I was shocked in the very best way. Seeing that mysterious lethal person in the back taking soldiers out - who else could it be but the baddest chick in the game. 💁🏽‍♀️ 

So Michonne is slicing these soldiers one by one in the background and Rick even has a brief moment looking back but all he can do is just crawl away. But not fast enough, because Michonne then starts to make her way over to him.

Rick tries to grab a gun but Michonne approaches and kicks it out of his hand. It’s crazy how Richonne’s first physical contact in almost eight years is through combat and they don’t even know it. Then Michonne swings her sword but Rick blocks it with his prosthetic. I guess that is one way that cutting off his hand really paid off. Cuz if he hadn’t had that prosthetic, Michonne would have made him an amputee anyway.

And this was a wild moment of seeing Rick on the wrong end of Michonne’s sword. It’s crazy how many times Michonne and Rick could have accidentally killed each other in their first moments together here. 😬 But fortunately the universe is a Richonner and watched out for them. 😇

So then Michonne kicks Rick in the face and he lies on the ground *helpless* with no choice but to accept his fate really. Like Rick truly does look like he's surrendered to this being the end of the line for him.

The first thing Michonne says to Rick after years is a stern “Get up” as she yanks him up to face her, not realizing she’s speaking to the love of her life.

gif cred: @riickgrimes

Rick looks up at her and y’all I love the staging of this because it’s hot and intense and most of all because the last time we saw Richonne in a private moment together, it was similar positioning.

In their final beautiful goated private scene in 9.03 - my favorite TWD Richonne scene - it ended with Rick looking up at Michonne as she was on top of him. And now years later they’re back in a similar position...although under a very different context. 

So Michonne yanks the helmet off this last soldier so she can get to his neck and kill him. But as she places a sword to his neck…she sees his face. 😭 At long last she sees Rick's face. 😭 Ahhhhhh!! 🥳 The reunion we’d all been waiting for was here!!!!!

gif cred: @riickgrimes

Shocked to realize that the man in the black uniform is her long-lost love, Michonne steps back with eyes wide and fixed on Rick as we finally see her face in her armor. 

gif cred: @riickgrimes

Equally in shock, Rick just sits and stares at Michonne for a while, possibly convinced that he’s 'seeing things' again. I love the quietness of the moment as all we hear is the two's breathing. It low-key feels like their slowly but surely breathing in sync like one organism again.

After all my years of imagining what the moment would be like when Richonne finally lays eyes on each other for the first time again, it was euphoric to now see that moment arrive.

gif cred: @riickgrimes

Michonne removes her mask and I like how she’s the one to remove both their masks at this moment. It feels symbolic of the way she'll figuratively remove their masks throughout TOWL. Because her vulnerability is going to help Rick reconnect with his own vulnerabilities and bring him back to who he really is underneath the CRM gear and mental damage. 

gif cred: @riickgrimes

Michonne stares at Rick on the ground, emotional and taken aback. Then the episode powerfully ends with Rick staring back at her, really looking like he’s wondering if he’s died and gone to the afterlife.

And then just before the ep quickly fades to black I feel like you see the subtlest shift in his expression as Rick realizes no this is real. The love of his life is really here. 😭

gif cred: @riickgrimes

All this time Rick had only considered scenarios where he’d get back to her but now he finally gets to learn that his soulmate was out there trying her hardest to get back to him too. 🥹

I am so extremely grateful to Andy and Danai for one; coming back to the franchise to give Richonne's story closure and two; for having the reunion take place in the first episode.

And what they came up with for their first moments on screen together in real life was truly epic and riveting. They killed it.🔥👏🏽🔥

When creating stories it's always most effective to pick the best characters to show up and interact with each other who will propel the story forward. Like in TWD season 4 when they all split from the prison and Tyrese is with those little girls, who is the most interesting character that could reunite with Tyrese and the girls? Carol.

So one of the millions of reasons it’s perfect that it was Michonne who found Rick and went on the quest to bring him back is because Rick had basically lost all hope and buried himself. And so the best character for him to spend this miniseries with was always going to be the one person who can make him come alive and bring him back no matter how lost he becomes. The person who loves and believes in him like no other.

Rick was losing crucial parts of himself and so he most needed his wife, the other half of himself, to arrive and help put the pieces back together like only she could.

He, as always, needed Michonne. And Michonne needed him too. 😭

However, while Michonne is physically in front of Rick here in these woods, it'll now be quite the journey to truly find her Rick.

The end of episode one made me super eager to see how the rest of their reunion would play out. And also to see how Michonne got here. And thankfully episode 2 would answer all of that and answer it beautifully.

To conclude these TOWL premiere revelings, I just have to say this was such a strong opener to the show. I absolutely loved "Years" and every actor was excellent. 👏🏽 I was put through every possible emotion and so moved by this hour of television. With "Years" the TOWL train had kicked off with a bang in every way.

And the ride was only just beginning. 😌👌🏽

[scorpioriesling]

Too Hot to Handle - Episode 6

･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

Characters featured: Reader, Feyre, Morrigan, Nesta, Gwyn, Elain, Emerie, Amren, Cassian, Lucien, Eris, Tarquin, Rhysand, Helion, Azriel, & Tamlin

Warning(s): None really, light suggestions

SR’s Note: Thank you always for your patience! All the support for this series is appreciated too. I know this one is shorter, but oh my god so much happens haha! Enjoy and I cannot wait to hear your feedback! Only 4 more episodes after this! (‘: Tags: @velarisdusk @lilah-asteria @starlightazriel @panther-girl-124 @cynthiesjmxazrielslover @paintedbyshadows

･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

"Y/N, I don't think I'm going to be able to do this," Lucien sighs heavily. Your eyes scan the room, taking in every inch of crimson-painted wall lined with various toys, devices, and... instruments of all kinds. You've practically done a 360 degree turn when your eyes meet Lucien's again, which are dark with growing lust as his gaze rakes over your form.

"Lucien -- stop. We have to be good tonight, remember? We just cost the group a lot of money last night..." You trail off as he draws closer, slowly closing the gap between the two of you. His scent of amber and earth is strong, the earlier smell of the ocean and shore long washed from him. You stare up into his enticing gaze as he hungrily gazes at your lips, his eyes trailing lower to your chest as it rises and falls rapidly with each breath. The fact that you chose to wear a rather low-cut neckline tonight was obviously not the best choice, had you only known.

"Lucien," you whisper as his fingers slide over the curves of your ass. He smirks, squeezing lightly, which makes you jump. You smack his shoulder and pull back, begrudgingly making your way to the balcony and away from his embrace -- much where you'd rather be, if Lana weren't involved.

"Ughhhhhh," he groans, trailing slowly behind you. You open the doors, allowing the cool breeze of the night in to ease the burn of his touch on your skin. He comes up behind you, this time placing his hands on either side of the railing, sure not to touch you. He dips his head after a few moments, resting it on the back of your shoulderblade as you continue to peer out at the night sky.

"Why don't we just end this retreat early and go about our lives outside of here?" He says, his muffled words from his lips against your skin.

"Hm?" You humm.

He draws back, placing a light kiss behind your ear. "I mean," his breath tickles your ear. "Why don't we just leave early, like, get out of here? Then we can do whatever we want," his fingers tickle your side, and you laugh, shrinking back against him. "... then me and my city girl wouldn't have to worry about any silly rules, right?" He says. You look behind you, meeting his gaze with a raised brow.

"Who's to say you aren't exactly how you were when you first came to this retreat, hm?" You tease. Lucien rolls his eyes, and you poke his side, causing him to chuckle. You slip from his embrace, slinking back inside, toward the sex chamber from Hell that you weren't allowed to indulge in.

Over your shoulder, you smirked at him, watching you from against the balcony railing. "You may not even like the city, anyway."

･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

Back at the villa, the entire group awaited anxiously. Since this new arrival had the choice of someone either in a relationship or previously single, this decision could be catastrophic for many, many reasons.

"I think it's a girl," Mor tuts. Helion sits stone-faced beside her, staring at the ground below. Feyre nervously twists her fingers beside Rhysand, who masks a cool calm face, but runs an anxious hand along her arm in an attempt at comfort. Unlike those in pairs, some of the single men are rather excited, hoping they'll be chosen.

"I would think so," Tarquin speaks up. "I mean, Azriel came last, so it would make sense to add in a girl next." He shrugs.

"Great," Cassian chuckles humorlessly. "One more chick for all of you guys to loose money over." Eris shoulder bumps him from the side.

"Dude, what if she's the hottest girl you've ever seen? You never know who's going to walk in here, or how you'd-"

"Good evening, guests." Lana intereupts.

The group quiets immediately. "Good evening, Lana."

"I am pleased to know that my couples have enjoyed their dates this evening, and I am happy to now inform you that my new arrival is ready for their date. They have selected their chosen guest for the evening as well." It seems as though the entire group holds their breath, the floodlights near the entrance of the villa blinking on as Lana pauses.

"Everyone, please welcome our new guest... Nesta."

Every head turns simultaneously, many of the guys reaching and looking over one another at the entrance to see a beautiful, ash-blonde woman walking gracefully in wearing a glittering silver floor-length gown. Her small, demure smile sent waves of unease through quite a few of the girls, who studied the guys with calculating eyes. Nesta seemed to assess each and every one, though supposedly she could make only one decision... for tonight, anyway.

"Hello everyone," she said politely, when she was close enough to the group. A few of the girls, Amren and Emerie, stood and welcomed her kindly -- the guys were either too entranced by her or had their jaws practically on the floor at this point. Cassian, for one, sat completely still, lips parted slightly, eyes wide as if he'd seen an angel for the first time.

"Nesta has chosen her date for tonight," Lana said, the group's chatter quieting once more. She stood near the edge of the group, her eyes lingering on Cassian for only a moment but landing on Eris, who winked at her, causing the small smile to only grow.

"Eris, please stand and join Nesta for your date on the beach."

"Nice!" Tamlin claps Eris on the shoulder, and Eris rises with a huge grin on his face. Cassian's mouth shuts immediately, his trance seeming to end and reality crashing back in. He folds his arms, taking a deep breath and swallowing hard.

"Hi, nice to meet you," Eris takes Nesta's hand, kissing the back of it softly. She laughs lightly, and the sound of it tickles Cassian's brain in a way he hadn't felt before. A way that made his blood boil.

Why. The Hell. Was Eris going on that date.

In that moment, he felt every nerve ending in his body. Every crackle of the fire in the pit before him felt as though it was raging inside his very heart-

"You alright there, Cass?"

No. He wouldn't be alright. Not until that Nesta, was his.

･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

"You're sure you don't want to get in? Not even to dip your toes in?" Lucien says teasingly. You roll your eyes at him through the vanity mirror, and he laughs in response. He stands from his crouched form beside the large, rose petal-laden bathtub, still just as enticing even in the morning light.

"Oh, I'm sure." You say, setting down the hairbrush and smoothing out your hair. "The shower did me just fine, and besides, we went all night without breaking one, single rule -- I'd hate for us to lose the group that $5,000 over a silly bath."

He stalks over, the soft pads of the villa slippers you'd both recieved quiet against the carpet. His hands rest on your shoulders, and he leans down, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

"We were very good last night, weren't we?" He says. You smile softly, your fingers delicately brushing up and down his forearm as yuor eyes meet through the mirror.

"We were..." You say, leaning back against him and resting your head against his robe-covered torso.

"I wonder how the dates went," he says, his fingers moving to rub small circles against your scalp. You hum softly against the sensation, thinking of nothing else besides Lucien in this moment, the relaxation, and the quality time you have gotten with him thus far.

"Mhm..." You hum. He chuckles, his fingers retreating from your hair as he tilts you upright on your stool once more.

"We should head back soon pretty girl," he says, kissing your cheek quickly. "Still have to meet the new arrival today, right?" He winks, moving to untie his robe and slip on his clothes.

If it were up to you, you'd stay in the sex den from Hell with clothes-less Lucien rather than going back to the group villa, where the new arrival would be, along with likely a whole. Lotta. Drama.

You sigh overdramatically, averting your eyes to spare yourself the impending ache between your thighs you knew you wouldn't be able to soothe if you allowed yourself a glance.

"Yep. I bet they're missing us so much."

･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

[nekohime19]

Macaque study # S2

Alright, let's go for Macaque analysis in season 2!!

After Macaque's introduction episode we got a pretty one-dimensional frame with a very manipulative villain who got some past with the Monkey King. This is our impression of Macaque, and the fact he's cool (at least that's my impression).

Shadow powers are cool and Macaque animation, imagery, soundtrack and fight sequences are very cool!

Let's see what season 2 brings to this one dimensional frame. Do we get to see some nuances already? Or is he still the same villain?

Season 2 ep7

Season 2 is the continuation of season 1 in the sense that the show keeps its episodic nature and keeps introducing MK's new powers, even if we do have an underlying plot with LBD.

Macaque appears in episode 7 (“Shadow Play”) which already by the title, if you remember Macaque gimmick in s1, you can get an inkling about who's gonna be the focus here without watching the episode in itself. But what is interesting this time is that MK's friends are involved with Macaque. Whereas in season 1 Macaque's episode was focused on MK, Wukong and Macaque and the other characters only made a brief one minute apparition, this time more of the main cast is here!

What I think is interesting from the start is, very much like s1 ep8, the episode starts with MK having a confrontation. This time it's not with Wukong but with Mei and Tang who mainly complain about how MK don't spend much time with them anymore. It's interesting how Macaque's episodes in s1 and s2 always start with MK arguing with the people he cares about and somehow creating a wedge between him and those people. In s1, Macaque used the wedge and tried to widen it, we'll see what he does about the wedge this time.

Also, even as a joke, I think it was so funny to have this parallel :

Wukong being the action-phased movie and Macaque the more traditional theater play is such a funny contrast. It goes with what they're portraying of themselves to others really.

What I really like about this episode is how Macaque's aesthetic with the shadows is emphasized, the animation really delves deeper in the unsettling, almost creepy feels of the shadows. We got doors that close by themselves, things that move in the dark and under the seats, puppets that move by themselves. We really dig into the horror movie aesthetic with this one and even the characters feel it, they're scared of this.

Macaque without even being on the screen yet already puts the mood. What I find interesting is that contrary to other villains like LBD who are naturally scary because of the way they are Macaque is scary because of what he's doing with his shadows, because of the shows he creates. Without the moving shadows, the doors which close by themselves, Macaque is not that scary, by that I mean the way he's animated, the way he carries himself is not as scary as let's say LBD. Macaque put on a show to be scary. In my opinion, that shows how Macaque put on a mask to be something he's really not, to appear as a villain when in reality he's way more nuanced than that. He's acting. In s1 he was acting and lying the whole time, acting like a hero in front of MK, acting like Wukong's comments didn't bother him during the final confrontation.

He's always acting. And he keeps doing so in s2. You can see in both seasons he's smiling a lot but in the later season his smile will be more and more rare, making you wonder if this cruel smile he had since the beginning is also just a part of the act. I'll go back to Macaque's smile in s3 bc oh boy this monkey smiles a lot even when he's tortured by LBD.

Now, let's talk about the shadow play and what we can get out of it, and what it means.

The first part of the shadow play :

Macaque : Welcome viewers to a shadow play the likes of which have never been seen. It follows the tragic tale of a legendary warrior and how those who bring light in this world inevitably bring darkness to those they hold dear. Like light heroes bring warmth, hope and friendship but they also give life to the darkness.

So, a lot to unpack already.

First the fact that Macaque qualifies Wukong as a “legendary warrior” when the word “warrior” is more or less reserved to Macaque, makes you wonder if in this particular sentence Macaque is not talking about Wukong but himself. “It follows the tragic tale of a legendary warrior and how those who bring light in this world inevitably bring darkness to those they hold dear.”, if we go with the interpretation that the legendary warrior here is Macaque (despite the image showing Wukong) then the connotation “tragic tale” makes more sense, considering Macaque perspective is skewed and he will sees what happened to him as “tragic”and it is less likely for him to qualify what happened to Wukong as “tragic” when he has so much trouble recognizing what Wukong endured in the first place.

Of course, the mention of light and darkness is a reference for both Wukong and Macaque. Macaque is always insisting on how Wukong is not perfect, how the hero is not flawless, how light cannot exist without darkness. Macaque wants to destroy this image of the flawless hero Wukong portrayed for so long but he does not take into account that mayhaps this image wasn't created by Wukong himself but by the people around him. And perhaps, in a way, he tries to connect himself to Wukong by saying that light and darkness goes hand in hand, even if unconsciously.

The mention of “those who bring light in this world inevitably brings darkness to those they hold dear” is, I think , a very salty line. It's the world vs loved one conflict for heroes. The “I'll sacrifice you for the world” type of thing that I think Macaque is very salty about. Wukong chose the world instead of him. On the contrary Macaque is personally more of a “I'll sacrifice the world for you” type, and that's why he's so salty about this. There is a clear confrontation between the terms “world” and “those they hold dear”, Macaque is putting “bringing darkness” to the heroes' loved ones as a consequence of “bringing light to the world”. For him it's inevitable, which speaks volume of how he thinks his relationship with Wukong went, he's putting the blame on what happened between them on Wukong hero status.

The idea that Macaque said of heroes giving life to the darkness is clearly an implicit way to say that Wukong created him. Which is not wrong, if we go with the interpretation that Wukong killed Macaque, but Macaque is denying so much of what Wukong lived through right now. His perspective is really skewed.

Macaque : The hero and the warrior were like the sun and the moon. Their light a protective glow shining upon the world. Together there was nothing that could stop the two of them. Either in the celestial realms or on earth. As time went on the hero attained power beyond comprehension as the hero’s light grew so too did his shadow and soon the warrior was cast in that shadow. In the darkness the warrior was forgotten by the hero.

Again, a lot to unpack. Macaque stops trauma dumping through theater.

Clearly, Macaque's view of his past relationship with Wukong is very unhealthy. He qualifies them as the “sun” and the “moon”, as two being in perfect harmony. We can see how the “world” is separated from this balanced duo. Macaque, in his head, didn't need anyone but Wukong. They were two beings against the rest. It was Macaque and Wukong against the world. The brotherhood is not even mentioned which spoke volumes about how Macaque felt, he never valued the brotherhood, we'll see that more in s4. What causes the imbalance between the hero and the warrior is “power”. I think we can easily agree that Macaque is talking about Wukong's search for immortality and the battle against the Jade Emperor. Wukong's search for power broke the balance between Macaque and Wukong. Again Macaque mentions the darkness and how Wukong casted him there, I think it's a lil unfair to say this because Macaque was naturally placing himself in Wukong's shadow already (but we'll see that in s4 again). We can see Macaque's fear here : being forgotten by Wukong. And I think he still has this fear inside of him and perhaps that's one of the reasons why he tries to get Wukong's attention so much by taunting him and trying to rile him up.

Also, calling someone the “sun”obviously speaks volumes about how much you admire this person. You can't call someone the sun without at least putting them on some sort of pedestal (perhaps it's because I love shadowpeach but I see some romantic implications in there, but again you do you).

In between the shadow play we can see how Wukong's absence is putting pressure on MK, he believe he sees Wukong when in reality it's just one of Macaque's shadows.

After the play, we have a montage of MK being miserable with the shadowplay going in loop in the background, MK is relating to the warrior.

This shot of MK touching his shadow is clearly a way to convey how MK relates to the warrior casted in the shadows. Monkey King leaving makes MK feel as if he's inadequate, MK deals with a lot of insecurities about this, about being right and worthy and it pushes him away from his friends.

When Macaque confronts MK and MK realizes that, yes, it was Macaque all along, what I find interesting is that once again Macaque brings Wukong in the conversation. Saying how now that Wukong is not here Macaque should teach MK a lesson. Macaque cannot help himself but brings Wukong into this even when Wukong is not here. There is also the “one and only” line that Macaque uses to reveal himself, a call back to Wukong's “one and only” line in the pilot episode when he introduced himself.

After this, Macaque and MK fight and once again the choreography of the fight is so cool. But once again, Macaque is stealing so much of the spotlight. He cannot help but comment on everything even when he's not in the frame, his voice is always ringing. Really, each time we got a scene with Macaque this guy is at the center of it, he's acting, and he's acting so good he grabs your attention.

Now what Macaque says is pretty self explanatory : MK is abandoning his friends. The “classic hero manœuvre” comment really shows how bitter Macaque is about heroes because of what happened with Wukong.

Now, while there are parallels between Macaque and Wukong, there are also a lot between Wukong and MK.

First the way they're both pressed down by shadow clones and uses golden vision to escape :

Second is when MK pounced on Macaque. The images used here are actually also used in season 5 during the very brief flashbacks we get about Wukong and Macaque fight.

So while Macaque's lesson is more than shady, there is some basis of truth in his accusations. MK really ressemble Wukong on a lot of things. They both really care about the people they love and will do anything for them. Wukong lost himself with this purpose and in some very asshole-y way Macaque is trying to prevent this with MK.

What I think is also interesting to consider in this episode is if Macaque planned this so-called lesson or if he simply took the opportunity when he saw MK and his friends and perhaps eavesdropped on their conversation at the beginning of the episode (where MK's friends were complaining about MK distancing himself). We know the team went to the Shadow Play because they saw a poster. The play was always going to be about the “hero and the warrior” considering the illustration on the poster. But did Macaque manipulate them into coming or was it just a lucky coincidence is never really answered. At the beginning of the episode we see other people in the theater so I might be inclined to think it was a coincidence. Would Macaque really create a whole shadow play and advertise it to the town just for teaching a lesson to MK? If Macaque simply took the opportunity to teach MK a lesson it might explain why he feels so confusing in this episode : the lesson was not planned but the result of an impulsive action after hearing that MK was distancing himself from his friends and perhaps seeing the shadow of Wukong in his behavior. In fact, Macaque might not even know why he's doing this but hides it really well.

MK also has some flashbacks of LBD during the fight with Macaque, while I think it's a form of PTSD I also suppose it could mean the way Macaque took away his friends and are controlling them reminds him of LBD and the underlying fear of LBD doing the same thing.

What confuses MK and us as an audience and makes us think : Okay maybe Macaque wasn't doing this just to be a jerk. Is when Macaque blocks MK's staff. He could have easily won here but instead he chose to stand down and free MK's friends which is a very confusing thing to do for a supposed villain.

Even MK doesn't understand Macaque's motivations.

In truth, Macaque never really gave away his motivations even if we can heavily speculate about it. The only thing he says is : “I kinda wanted to do the whole watching the hero be tormented by their own mistakes thing but seems like you’re already doing this by yourself”. But if Macaque's only goal was to torment MK then why would he talk about “potential”.

Macaque (at the end of the fight) : you're right, that is enough. You know you really are that bit too much like him but it's good to see that there is some potential.

I think this line betrays Macaque's true intentions, it's not all about tormenting MK (even if he pretends it is minutes after the “potential line”) it's about MK not taking the same path as Wukong, if it’s out of care for MK or out of fear of another Wukong being created is still debatable.

Unlike in s1 where Macaque used the wedge between Wukong and MK to his advantage and tried to widen it, here instead Macaque is trying to make MK realize the wedge between him and his friends, no matter how badly and how asshole-y he does it.

It's perhaps here that MK realizes Macaque is a more confusing individual than he initially thought and that's why he goes after him even after getting his friends back. MK is still very snarky with Macaque but there is some sort of comprehension when he points out how Macaque was the warrior in the story. Macaque even warns MK about LBD in his own very ambiguous way, he even does a call back to s1 with the “You can never have too many teachers” line, again a lil spite directed towards Wukong when Wukong is not even here.

I think this is a very important detail, MK realizing Macaque is confusing and maybe not as one-dimensional as he thought he was. It's important for MK and for the audience.

Macaque said there is some potential in MK, well when you see this episode you say to yourself maybe there is some potential in Macaque too, to become better.

While Macaque is still very much a jerk AND a villain here, he also show us more complexity, more subtlety than what we thought him capable of. Yes. Macaque trapped MK's friends in his lantern. Yes. His lesson was downright terrible and not very well-planned (probably because it was an impulsive act). Yes. Him playing with MK's mind, taking on Wukong's appearances, is very wrong and I am NOT denying that. BUT, as I am not denying Macaque being an asshole, you cannot deny Macaque being confusing, being more than one-dimensional. You cannot deny him not finishing MK off when he had the occasion. You cannot deny his convoluted warning about LBD at the end of the episode. You cannot deny the shadowplay and what it might imply with his relationship with Wukong, adding more depth about his character (even if the perspective is skewed).

Macaque is an asshole there, but I don't think he's a rotten apple.

At the end of the episode the not-mayor comes to get Macaque. Again I think this scene is pretty telling on Macaque's relationship with LBD.

The purple who was the dominant color quickly turns blue to indicate that Macaque is not in control anymore despite this being his domain, his episode. In image 2, the smile Macaque has can fool you if you don't see the lil sweat on his forehead, this is a sign of nervousness. For the first time since we have been introduced to Macaque in LMK, Macaque is nervous. Macaque wasn't nervous against Wukong yet he is right now. He's afraid. The fact that Macaque is smiling as a sign of nervousness really hints you already about his coping mechanism. It'll be more relevant and more present in s3 but it is interesting to notice how Macaque works to keep fear at bay (I'll talk more about it in s3).

The not-mayor strangles Macaque. I would like to insist on this form of violence. Strangling. No. Clearly Macaque is not willing to go with the not-mayor. And everyone telling me otherwise didn't watch the same show. Violence is a core element of Macaque relationship with LBD, and we cannot talk about Macaque in season 3 without talking about this. But I'll get back to this in S3.

So what can we say about this episode? We learned a lot about Macaque's feelings for Wukong and their past relationship, at least what he thought happened. And while Macaque still acts like a villain, he does show potential for being better. Showing this potential is really important for the redemption processus, because without these tiny hints of Macaque hidden goodness, or at least the start of goodness within him, the redemption wouldn't have felt genuine.

The use of colors, blue background/blue not-mayor and purple Macaque, really showcase Macaque lack of control in this situation. He's not in control anymore, everything around him turned blue. This is an important fact, and of course Macaque not being willing doesn't excuse his actions later in s3. I'm always first to say that trauma doesn't excuse your shitty actions. But I have empathy. And I do think context matters. Circumstances matters. You cannot brush them aside. Yet they are not to be used as an excuse for his behavior either. He's an asshole here. But what interest me is if he's rotten, if he's irredeemable? Is he? I don't think so.

This is a processus. Macaque arc is long. Showing that Macaque is not willing to go, that he's under threat, subjected to violence, is meant to make us understand he's point of view, to understand him better as a character. If you brush this context of violence aside while talking about Macaque then I believe that you are mischaractering him.

Macaque is confusing for MK and for us, but he showed us something there, a spark, as tiny as it is.

He's more nuanced than we thought he was in s1 ep8.

It's a lil step in the grand scheme of things, potential without action is wasted, but the fact that the potential is here is to be noted regardless because it will be important in the redemption processus later on.

Also, I like that in this episode MK has parallels with both Wukong and Macaque. He relates to the warrior (Macaque) and fears that Wukong is leaving him behind, but also MK fights like Wukong and acts a lot like him. It shows how MK is really a merge between the two monkeys, he's not exactly like them, but he has some common traits with both of them, which I think is why he will be greater than the both of them at the end of this. After all, the mentee has to surpass the mentors one day or another.

Like the previous post, this is my interpretation of LMK, you can disagree, no problem!

I'll post Macaque analysis in season 3 in another post.

Previous / Next

[toastofthetrashfire]

Space and Framing in Episode 5 of DFF

Non is introduced through a reflection. This represents both his future disappearance or death, but also his outsider status. He's on the outside, the other side of the door, only a reflection.

Non's isolation is visually made clear as we see two contrasting hallways. The left is where Por and Jin come from. In the background you can see students milling about, life and people. On the right, Non is alone. Meanwhile Jin stands at the threshold about to cross over into Non's space.

Por goes too, but he visually remains separated from Non's isolated space. Instead we start by seeing Non and Jin through a reflection, just as when Non is first introduced. This is an outsider's space, but this time Jin has entered it.

Once again we get Non in an isolated space. It becomes noticeable too that he is often squared in, not just separated but boxed in. This can be seen in the previous shots as well. You can't see it from this screen shot but the road on the left has cars moving back and forth, so once again Non is placed outside and in contrast to life and society.

And once again, Jin comes and moves into this space.

As Non leaves, Jin is left split. His body remains in what was Non's space, but his shadow isn't quite contained. Perhaps this represents Jin's feelings for Non, and his desire to follow him. Or perhaps the way he is teetering between feelings and kindness for Non and his inability to fully stand up to his friends.

Jin sinks back and fully enters the space, his shadow no longer hanging outside of it.

Even at home, Non is boxed in. Perhaps signaling the way that his home life is separate from and invisible to his "friends" at school. Or perhaps the way that financial troubles and anxiety weigh on him like walls closing in.

Jin uses the camera to watch Non. In doing so he perhaps intends to create an alternative space with just the two of them, or to join Non's world. But at the same time, there's a looming feeling as Jin boxes Non in. We know in retrospect that the camera leads to increasing problems for Non. But I'm also reminded of the Thai horror film Shutter. The film revolves around cameras (including Polaroid/instant photos which Jin uses earlier in the episode) but also a strong critique of the way bystanders can become complicit and even hurt victims the most when feelings are involved.

As we start to get Tee's struggles we see him framed as a shadow. His circumstances and struggles remain in the dark where his friends don't know about them.

And then a doorway. The pressure is on for him, the walls closing in.

Top chooses to frame himself, using the camera to act out his fantasy of being a hero. Yet moments later this fantasy breaks, much like the camera. He relies on Tee to cover his butt. In the future he will be one of the first to run and abandon his friends. And of course, ultimately he ends up killing one of them.

Jin comes to comfort Non after the camera "incident." They're boxed in together, contrasted from the dark world around them. Jin once again has entered Non's space. He stands further towards the light, trying to offer Non hope, and see him smile. And while this light reaches Non, parts of his body are still cast in shadow, representing his current and future struggles. As good as Jin's intentions are, he doesn't understand what poverty looks like and can't fully help Jin, even if his support casts some warm light on Non.

Even at the end, as Non smiles and is cast in more light, his hands are still in shadow.

Our next cut is to this shot. We're back to the two hallways, but from another outside angle. The space represents the way Non is being pushed into a corner.

And of course, enter Tee who takes advantage of this. Notice how Non is placed with Tee slightly on one side of the visual divide. I can't say for sure which hallway this side maps to. So we either have Tee entering Non's space, this time in a clearly manipulative way, unlike Jin. Or we have Non being pulled into the space of Tee and his friends as he is being taken advantage of and placed out of his depth in the worst way.

[hanamukes]

Uika and her inner monster, Doloris

Admittedly when I first watched It's MyGO and Ave Mujica 0th, I didn't really think much of Uika. She and Doloris are presented as such vastly different entities that my brain kind of glossed over her, because I don't tend to go crazy for characters who are presented to us as always being bright and warm. Even when the last episode aired and I saw her undergo the transformation from Uika into Doloris, it still hadn't fully set in for me (though perhaps this is simply because I was busy losing my mind in excitement about seeing Ave Mujica at all as well as the sequel announcement).

But reading the interviews that came out after the anime finished airing completely changed that. Uika is Tomori's opposite in every regard? She has a secret so intense it made her voice actress stand out of her chair and yell when she heard it? I need to know more! What on earth could this seemingly kind character be hiding?

I've been keeping a close eye on her content ever since, and it's slowly making me feel insane. So, in anticipation for the anime, as well as their 4th concert which will happen in December and thus give us even more Doloris lore, I wanted to compile a post on the both of them in which I will present my various thoughts and theories.

Doloris

Uika is, in the most literal sense, Doloris' actress. This could perhaps lend to many believing that Uika is not Doloris, or rather that Doloris is not Uika. At the same time, I want to pose a very simple question.

Who came first: Doloris or Uika?

Timeline-wise, Doloris came first. Can Uika even exist without Doloris? Can she be who she is without us immediately recognizing her as being Doloris? What came first was not "Doloris is a puppet persona Uika plays as on stage," but rather it was "Uika is Doloris from Ave Mujica." This was their intent; to introduce Doloris to us, and then to introduce this girl who has an identical design to her in the anime, who is seemingly her exact opposite. What weight could Uika's scenes hold, if not to tell us that she will later turn into the monster known as Doloris? On her own, without Doloris, what does Uika represent?

Doloris herself talks about wanting to be seen for her true self. Is Uika Doloris' true self, or is Doloris Uika's true self? Which is it that they want us to believe? Which one does "Uika" want us to believe? Which one is Sakiko, or perhaps Oblivionis, trying to convince us to believe? Who is "Uika"?

Our introduction to this character was not a Sumimi scene, or her consoling someone, or a frame of her smiling, or of her expressing her love for music. It was this.

This creepy, disturbing montage of Doloris, covered in blood, inviting someone into her cult. Inviting you into her cult. Inviting you to dig deeper.

Though if you want to go even further back, I would argue our first, true genuine introduction was Black Birthday itself.

You see, I don't believe there's any true and correct way to interpret Ave Mujica's songs. The songs are whatever you make of them. That's part of the insanity of Ave Mujica; of never having a proper answer, of always wanting to dig deeper. So I won't say this is that correct reading, but rather one of the infinite possibilities. That said, after watching the intermissions from their concerts as we currently know them, I can't help but feel their first 6 songs perfectly tell the story of Doloris. It goes something like this:

Black Birthday: Doloris' rebirth into her true self. The dyeing of one's purity into corruption. Finally being able to see what was once unseeable (perhaps the light in the pitch black darkness, which she discusses a lot in their stage plays). It's a disturbing birthday party welcoming the new her.

The Two Moons ~Deep Into the Forest~: Now reborn, she finds herself lost in a forest. The play sequence in the last episode of It's MyGO feels reminiscent to this song; Doloris straying into a forest (Loft Moon), while Oblivionis ridicules her, and yet she's so beautiful she cannot take her eyes off her despite the pain of having her heart torn asunder. The song even has imagery describing candles lit on a table, which we can see in the anime rendition of this scene.

Choir 'S' Choir: She's slowly giving in to the insanity of Ave Mujica. This song reminds me a lot of Perdere Omnia; when she finally stops her denial and begins to understand why the others wish to destroy the world. She's letting herself become an esquire, a fallen angel if you will. She hears voices screaming at her, and she knows she's being hunted down, but she keeps dancing anyway. She's testing out her new abilities.

God, You're a Fool: This song represents her inner doubts. What exactly are they fighting for? For whose sake? Why do they have to be in this situation to begin with? If God wasn't a fool, surely everything would be fine... right?

Mas?uerade Rhapsody Re?uest: She's decided she no longer cares about anything. No longer cares how corrupted she becomes, no longer cares to hide her dark feelings. She's just going to fully embrace it all, she's going to let herself be taken by the shadowy jesters. The mask is a part of her now.

Ave Mujica: With her mask as her skin, it's her turn to lure others in. She's going to corrupt you. She reassures you that those with masks will fulfill your any wish, and that even though this is a place of no return, don't worry, there's nothing to be scared of.

It's interesting, because while the songs can apply to anyone (the other dolls for one, and perhaps even the listeners themselves), I can't ignore the parallels between the story these songs are telling, and the story of Doloris as we've seen in the concert intermissions. (Regarding the Utopia single and the ELEMENTS series, those songs were written more to fit a specific narrative, and I don't think they apply to the dolls themselves as directly. That's just my own personal take on them though and is why I won't be analyzing them here)

As for the intermissions themselves, there's a lot going on in them and much of Doloris' dialogue isn't about herself, but I want to go over some general observations:

Doloris uses 僕 (boku). This is significant because she's the only one who has a personal pronoun that differs from her actress; Uika uses 私(watashi). Ave Mujica songs use 私 (watashi) as well, though I don't think this means much in the context of Uika or Doloris because it's just for formality (if anything, it's interesting because it's an inverse of Uika's narrative opposite, Tomori; who uses 私 (watashi) in her daily speech but 僕 (boku) in her songs). That said, in Quaerere Lumina, there's a segment where "Doloris" switches to 私 (watashi), which many found haunting because it almost felt as if those words came from Uika herself, and that she switched back to Doloris after speaking vulnerable words from her heart.

She uses 君 (kimi; "you") in an interesting way. In Perdere Omnia, this referred to Oblivionis. In Veritas, however, she uses this repeatedly in the context of "someone" who she wants to be reborn with. It's someone who extended a hand to her, and who took her mask off her. It's someone she wants to be with for the rest of her life, just the two of them. And at the end, she uses it in reference to you, the audience, who will surely attend their next concert. Who is it that removed her mask? Oblivionis, or us? (Like many things in Ave Mujica, my own interpretation on this is that it's probably Oblivionis, because at its core, this is a yuri band, and Oblivionis is in fact someone who we've seen accept Doloris for who she is)

Each doll has a specific thing they focus on: Oblivionis stands her ground despite everything but also talks about finding things pitiful, Timoris is logical and an observer who wants to be acknowledged, Amoris talks about her lost love and boredom, Mortis talks about peace and quiet as well as the beauty in death. For Doloris, the thing she highlights that the others don't is us watching her slowly spiral into insanity, and particularly as of Veritas, her sense of her own body (as well as this attachment to someone else, as mentioned above). She sees herself as an empty shell, which is true for the others as well, but on top of this she has a fixation on her mask and the relationship it has with her body. It's her skin, and simultaneously, if you remove it, below that you'll find her true, perhaps ugly self. It means a lot to her that someone could love the her that exists without the mask. (Is this intended to be foreshadowing for the relationship between Doloris and Uika, and which of the two of them is her truest self?)

Doloris is an embodiment of insecurity, and simultaneously, she's a ferocious monster when she performs. Rico Sasaki herself claims that she feels like Doloris possesses her when they hold concerts. Her voice is cold, bitter and pained; it's a far cry from Uika's speaking voice, which is so warm and comforting. She is plagued with sorrow, of which she would rather die and be reborn than have to deal with. Her ideal world is simply one of being together with the one who accepts her in all of her ugliness.

Uika

There's a sort of trend to Uika's scenes: when she's around someone else, she waits for them to talk or express emotion before she matches their energy, and when she's alone, she drops the happy idol facade. The very first time we ever see her, she's doing just this.

This is also apparent in two other (coincidentally Sumimi) scenes, where the same thing happens in each: Uika is matching the energy of who she's talking to, but the second she's separated from them by a door, she has an almost empty expression on her face.

(The fact this has happened for both Sumimi scenes, when Uika has so little screentime so every second we see of her is supposed to be precious, has me really wondering just how much she likes her "dream job." Also, I wonder if this is a coincidence: immediately after both of these shots, she looks at her phone and sees Sakiko on her screen which cheers her up (the first is an old text, the second is a phone call))

It's something that on its own feels a bit deliberate, but when you take a certain intermission from their concerts into consideration, it really does become something you can't ignore.

This is the one part of the concert intermissions in which Doloris uses 私 (watashi). This is what many interpret to be Uika's words.

To put this simply, she feels as if she's an empty shell who has to match the energy of the people around her. When nobody is there to give her something to react to, she reverts to that husk. This is exactly the vibe I get from a lot of her scenes in the anime.

(I talked in depth about these two scenes in my Taki&Uika writeup so please do check that out for my thoughts on them, but to recap for this context: it's interesting to me how she looks so "empty" until she reads Sakiko's message (and feels seen by her, thus breaking her out of that state; I also want to mention she never messaged Sakiko first despite having her phone number, which to me is such an explicit example of her feeling like she doesn't exist unless someone else contacts her first that you may as well have a bright red arrow pointing at it), and on the right we can see her matching Sakiko's energy)

And actually, she almost implies as much to Mana directly.

"It's easy for me to sing when I'm with you, Mana-chan." On the surface, this just seems like something she's saying to make her excitable partner happy, to show agreement even though she's exhausted and not nearly as excited as she is. Mana reacts, calling it a compliment. But is it really? Her wording here is deliberate: she can only sing well because she's with her. Because she's being seen by someone else. Watching all of their scenes, I can't shake the feeling that Uika would not "shine" as an idol without Mana by her side. Immediately before this, Mana's happily waving and thanking the filming crew while Uika gives them a more heartless nod. Uika's appeal as an idol is that she's "cool" (this is written on her character bio), so it's not that I would expect her to match Mana's energy in that sense (who's appeal is her energy)... but I do wonder what she would be like in this context without Mana, given she already seems rather tense even with her. (Here's an easily missable clip of her sighing the second she's alone)

What about her comforting Tomori? Surely that was the one scene where she was acting of her own emotions? And what about when she talked to her in the final episode? It's not as if she was matching Tomori's energy 1:1! She reached out to her on her own!

And maybe that's true. However, consider this: that happened after she got Sakiko back in her life. Is an empty husk still just a shell if the one who's there to look at her―and bring her to life―is by her side now?

Let's take a closer look at these scenes though, shall we?

The planetarium. Uika was there to look at the stars, which are reflective of her childhood memories with Sakiko. Then, she finds Tomori, who she recognizes as being from Crychic (because she attended their concert a year ago). I could believe it if she sat next to her because Tomori looked upset; Tomori has subtle facial expressions yes, but it's pretty obvious when she's hurt. She decides to sit next to her, but her seat won't recline (I've seen people point out that she's been there before, so she surely would have known how to put the seat down; I think this is very funny and could be true, though I do want to point out Tomori said "this seat works like this" and Uika was sitting in a different seat than we saw in episode 8 anyway). Tomori helps her and they make indescribable eye contact briefly before they go back to watching the stars.

Then she kept an eye on her when they left and caught her on the stairs. Pretty standard stuff. From the get-go though, she was matching Tomori's energy. This is really subtle and more obvious in motion, but when she's asking if Tomori's okay, Tomori's head dips down twice, and each time Tomori's head dips, Uika's dips down a second or two later to match her.

If it was just once, I wouldn't think anything of it, but twice? Why is she studying her reaction this closely to the point of replicating it?

Then this happens, and I'll just leave my commentary from a year ago because it still applies:

Uika stares at Tomori and the Crychic photo that she saw on their social media comes to mind. She focuses in on Sakiko and Tomori... but moreso Sakiko. This kind of goes under the radar as it comes across as her bringing up stars because she knows it's something Tomori clearly likes and thus could be a bridge of conversation between them, so to speak, but I can't shake the fact that thinking about Sakiko was what prompted her to start talking about the stars she can see in Tokyo. Sakiko, who she was separated from for so long and who she was only able to reunite with in Tokyo.

(As a side note before I continue, this conversation makes me wonder how familiar she is with Tokyo. I'm not well-versed in Japan's geography nor do we really know anything about Uika's personal life, but I do know she lived on an island as a kid because she says Sakiko visited her island. It's also her chat icon)

Another easily missable detail, but when she picks up Tomori's notes, she waits a second for Tomori to give "consent" (via eye contact) before she continues talking. I'll also just mention here that I do think Uika meant what she said about singing being something that conveys someone's heart, and I feel like this was the most honest she was in the entire show.

Moving on to the episode 13 confrontation. I'll be honest, this whole interaction is very weird and as I'm typing up this post I'm still not sure what to make of a lot of it.

Once again, Uika is in the planetarium, this time in the same seat she was in for episode 8 before she met up with Sakiko (starting to see a theme here). Then she spots Tomori and grabs her shoulder, calling her Tomori-chan. Tomori seems confused so she checks that it really is "Tomori" and says they met there before. She does the same thing she did in episode 10 where when Tomori shifts her head, she shifts hers too while she's talking to her.

I like this shot because it feels like she instantly goes into "handsome" mode when she realizes this girl is a fan of "Sumimi's Uika."

This is where this interaction gets weird, because Tomori says she doesn't know who Uika is, and Uika responds with... "I'm glad she doesn't." Huh? Even Anon herself says "Huh?" out loud here. I could not possibly give you an explanation for why Uika would be "glad" that Tomori doesn't know who she is. Why is she trying to get close with her if she doesn't care that Tomori doesn't know her?

Then she asks if Tomori's song worked and Tomori says yes. It still feels like she's trying to gauge her feelings (but for what?). Then she claims she doesn't know Tomori, they just "met at the planetarium before." Anon seems pretty weirded out still. Then she changes the subject and asks if the two of them are in a band. When Anon shows her her phone, which has all the band members listed, she stares at it for a second before asking if she can follow.

(Anon's face being cut off here is interesting to me given this is from Uika's point of view, and really what could be so interesting in that photo?)

The length in which she stares at it makes me think this is likely how she learned MyGO exists, though I can't really piece together what she gets out of this aside from knowing what band Tomori is in. Then she asks if she can follow them and leaves. The whole interaction feels so pointless yet so deliberate: we didn't get closure on Taki's character arc in this episode, but we got this scene of Uika following MyGO's social media account? I'll be interested in seeing how this is relevant later on.

Oh, and the most important part of this scene: Tomori never told Uika her name. Anon is visibly weirded out by this. Of course, this scene is also followed by another shot of Uika not having to match anyone's energy, looking stern as she seems to whenever she's by herself. (She's looking at Crychic's social media page and commenting on how Tomori is from Sakiko's old band, by the way; how did she pull that up so fast? She just sat down?)

Uika and Tomori are narrative opposites. The director for the anime stated that Uika is her polar opposite in every regard. Ricochi also pointed out that while Tomori's songs turn her human, Uika's turn her into a monster. Their episode 10 confrontation was intended to be them meeting before the Ave Mujica ball gets rolling, so to speak, in order to allow them to contrast greater when the sequel comes out.

In general, what I make of Uika's cheerfulness is it's reflective of something Ricochi said in regards to Ave Mujica as a whole: like the moon, she can't shine on her own, but when others look at her, a light glistens from her. It almost makes me wonder if she wanted to become an idol in order to, like she said in her introduction clip with Mana, "make others feel better too" with her songs, at an attempt to mask the fact she can't shine when she's alone herself.

Those are the biggest points I wanted to articulate, so below I'll drop some other observations.

Regarding the flashback scene of Uika and Sakiko as kids... Uika is blushing here when Sakiko is not.

Normally I wouldn't think anything of this, because that's just how the models are (for instance, Sakiko's casual clothes model seems to always have the blush regardless of her mood, while Oblivionis of course doesn't; Uika's model also doesn't have a constant blush), but this scene was hand drawn. It's more deliberate. I don't want to insinuate that this implies Uika cares more about Sakiko than Sakiko cares about Uika because I don't think that's what they meant here at all, just that these specific memories may hold different meaning to Uika than they do for Sakiko. Perhaps more importantly though (and even less obvious) is that Uika's hair looks longer in the shot of them looking at the stars than it was for their meeting and the bug catching. It makes you wonder how much time may have passed between those two memories. (I do recognize this may have just been a continuity error of sorts, but she is wearing a different outfit too)

In Sakiko's conversation to Nyamu, she hints that she got Uika for her band because of Sumimi's popularity. This is interesting to me because in episode 7, she absolutely... glares? at the Sumimi music video.

...Which makes you wonder how she really felt looking at it. In any case, I don't think it was just for the fame because you don't exactly call somebody and tell them to help you forget everything if it's just for the money. That's a pretty intimate thing to ask somebody, and especially for Sakiko who up until then had been actively avoiding speaking anything from her heart. We also know that Uika does the lyrics for Ave Mujica, so we can truly only make guesses as to what transpired between their talk and the final episode...

Oh, also, when Sakiko calls Uika, she blushes. Which feels pretty notable to me when seconds beforehand she was in "cool, kind of broody idol" mode.

As for the last episode...

When Nyamu asks if she can go to Uika's place, she says yes! It makes you wonder how close she is with everyone by this point, and also what her home life looks like.

This one is sold on the voice work, but she sounds super happy to get to see Sakiko.

This also happens at the end of the episode, when she asks if she can ride the train home with Sakiko despite the fact she got there in a cab. I wrote my thoughts about this here, but it is interesting to me how it implies she might not know about Sakiko's home life at this point.

For this line, it's not lost on me how similar this dialogue is in reflection to what Doloris says in their stage play immediately after; with Oblivionis talking about them being dolls, and Doloris questioning her every word. It's as if she'd turned into Doloris the second she put her mask on...

Tying it all together

What's striking to me is that in all the trailers for the Ave Mujica anime―which by all means will be where we learn more about Uika―we've only seen one shot of her.

The rest have been Doloris. From this we can presume that the doll lore from their concerts will be relevant to the actresses, we just don't know to what extent.

It's scary really, because... seriously, even if Uika does feel like an empty shell, there's more to it than just that. And despite all of my analysis up until this point, I have not a single clue what her actual deal could be. Even after I post this, I'll continue to watch her scenes over and over, trying to piece things together with what little we have right now.

I'll be very interested to see both Doloris and Uika in the upcoming anime, and in what ways the lines between them are blurred.

[starshinegarcia]

Don’t Blame Me

Aaron Hotchner x BAU Reader Part 2!

Part 1 Here

(Based on Season 4 episode 9)

“If you walk away, I’d beg you on my knees to stay”

TW: Mentions of Sexual Assault (Marked if you need to skip)

It had been a full day since your.. less than a professional encounter with Hotch, and it’s safe to say that you had been left reeling. Not only was it unbelievably unprofessional- you enjoyed it and wanted more of it, and that was what made you the most angry. You had never even considered being attracted to him- aside from the occasional dream fantasy- and now? You were all in your head about what this meant, not focusing on the task and case at hand. Your teammates had taken notice, and had all tried to inquire in their own way- Emily bluntly, Garcia by sweetalking, Morgan by flirting- but you had pushed aside every effort and kept to yourself- making an extra effort not to make direct eye contact with Hotch, if you could help it. And that had been successful- until now, that is.

“It’s possible that we need a decoy. Someone to see how his methods work, up close and personal.” Reid offers to Hotch, and Hotch nods, his gaze shifting to your desk, where you were chewing on the tip of a pen, eyes glazed over and deep in thought about- something. “Someone he knows, someone he’s comfortable with. So he can feel like he’s winning.” Reid follows his gaze, pausing, “Sir, if I may- __ seems to be distracted at the moment and it may not be best for her to-” Hotch is ignoring him, closing the case shut and motioning in your direction. “Agent __, Agent Prentiss, I’d like to speak with you two.”

Emily snaps her fingers in front of your face- but you had already come to the sound of Hotch saying your last name. You rolled your eyes at her, trailing behind her and positioning yourself out of Hotch’s gaze. “We need you two to go undercover, in order to fully grasp the methods our unsub is using, adapted from Viper’s.” “So, we need to get Viper to try his moves on us.” Emily sighs, nodding. You talk softly, gritting your teeth slightly, “Yes, sir.” Hotch’s eyes find yours, finally, “Agent, you can sit this one out, if you feel unsafe-” “No. I can do it.” Your voice comes out bitter and sharp, so you hastily add a “Sir.” at the end to cover your tracks. You follow Emily into the women’s locker room, grabbing your go bag and angrily digging through it. “You okay?” Emily raises her eyebrow at you, well versed at reading women by now. “Fine. Let’s just get this over with.”

The familiar lights of the, once again, still sleazy bar hit your face as you walk in, carefully trailing behind Emily, with eyes alert. You had both changed into less FBI-agent like clothes, grabbing a drink from the bar as you found a seat n the corner. Before long, the familiar sharp scent of cheap cologne met your nostrils as Viper emerged behind you. “Well, well, well. Look who’s back for a taste. Who’s your friend?” You see Emily swallow a snarky remark, “Emily Prentiss.” “Enchante.” Viper smirks, bowing dramatically as his eyes find you. “So, tell me, did my methods work?” “You could say that, I suppose.” You hear Hotch’s voice in your head, Agent, you can sit this one out, and you grit your teeth, leaning in closer and continuing to banter with him.

SKIP HERE FOR SA TRIGGER!! At a certain point, you feel Emily tugging on your shirt, and you whip around to see her slyly following a man in a fedora. You turned back to Viper, “This has been.. Nice, but I have to go now, I’m afraid. Look me up on Facebook- unless you’re too off-grid for that.” Viper’s eyes change, grabbing onto your arm and pulling you to him quickly. “I don’t think so.” He growls, dragging you back into the depths of the bar. You freeze, going limp as you realize the danger you’ve put yourself in. You fumble for your gun- shit, you had gone in unarmed and unwired. You found yourself in the same dark corner you had been in earlier, just in daylight- it was much scarier now. Viper’s rough hands found your body, as you shook your head, trying to protest, or fight back, “Stop, please-” “Don’t fight it.” His hand found your mouth, muffling your protests.

You sunk your head against the brick wall, closing your eyes as tears streaked down your face- until a sharp voice broke through the dark. “FBI, Freeze, hands behind your back! Now!” You blinked quickly, seeing the blurry vision of Hotch aiming a gun at your attacker through your tears. Viper scoffed as Morgan cuffed him, and you fell against the wall, your knees crumbling underneath you. Hotch immediately put his gun away, moving towards you- but you summoned every bit of strength left in you and threw your arms around him. He stiffened at first, but just as quickly wrapped his arms around you, tightly holding you and using his free hand to stroke your hair. “It’s okay, sweetheart. I’m here.”

“Don’t blame me, love made me crazy”

(if it doesn’t, you ain’t doing it right)

𝐀/𝐍 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐢𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐲 𝐢𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬!! 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐟𝐚𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢’𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭,, 𝐢𝐟 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 ;)

[phantompoguefangirl]

GREEN LIGHT-SPENCER REID

'Love compels cruelty To those who do not understand love.'

'I learn a great deal by merely observing you, and letting you talk as long as you please, and taking note of what you do not say.'

'In my end is my beginning.'

T.S. Eliot

A/N: Based on the episodes Green Light and Red light and basically that whole section of Season 12. Fluff and ANGST. This is also on my wattpad SerpentBeauty1710 and will be on my AO3, MayaGillespieReid

**********************************

Y/N POV:

Nothing could have prepared me for any of this.

Not for the way my soul left my body when the words "Spencer is in jail in Mexico" came out of Emily's horrified mouth.

Not for the anxiety being stuck home waiting for answers when half the team went down to get him.

Not for the relief and yet underlying tornado of emotions when the beautiful, kind and innocent boy wonder, the love of my life, my sweet Spencer...walked into the BAU in handcuffs.

The frustration when my short legs and rapidly expanding belly wouldn't let me get to him faster. The pain when he couldn't hug me back, then the love and desperation I felt him return by nuzzling his face into my neck as best he could while his bound hands caressed my bump. The soft but urgent warmth of his lips as I reached up to kiss him. The brief touch of his forehead to mine and the whispered reassurances right before Emily led him back to the elevator.

The way I broke down sobbing when the judge denied bail.

And the agony of waiting, of knowing he was so close to home and not being able to hold him or keep him safe. And on top of that, the stress of not knowing if he would get out in time, if at all...

The team did their best to support me through it and took turns helping with Diana when they could, along with the caregiver Spencer and I had hired for her. We had decided to move into a house with a mother in law suite for Diana when Spencer brought her to live with us in DC. We'd agreed Diana would do better with her own space and it ended up being a really good thing we moved. The team helped me finish settling in. Garcia was all over decorating, Emily JJ  and Tara helped me organize everything, Derek and our new agent Luke handled any repairs and/or replacements that needed done and Rossi brought his delicious food regularly. Hotch had very recently gone into in witsec with Jack, but I knew he'd be here helping too if he could.

I smiled appreciatively at the thought of our friends as I struggled to roll out of bed and padded to the kitchen for breakfast. I was grabbing a croissant from the container when I felt a small pinch in my neck and everything went dark.

The next thing I knew, I was waking up in what seemed to be a trunk. I was going to kick a tail light out or or scream or something but my hands and feet were tied up and there was duct tape over my mouth. It was cold, much more so probably due to the fact that I was only in a tank top and pajama shorts.

I didn't recognize my captors' voices but I tried to listen to the youngish girl and older man when they spoke. They mostly talked in low tones so it was difficult, but I heard them whisper Diana's name and something about the caregiver which caused my heart and stomach to constrict in terror. I wanted to scream at them to tell me where my mother in law was, but I knew it would probably do no good and I still had the tape on my mouth anyway.

What felt like days(but was probably only hours) passed and the only respite I had was when the man moved me to a different trunk and removed the tape before holding the phone to my ear. I recognized the phone number on the screen.

"Spencer?" I whimpered, shifting umcomfortably as the man held on to the ropes around me.

"Y/N, are you okay?!" He cried out desperately.

"Yeah we're okay, I think," I answered softly. "But Spencer, they have Mom. I don't know where, she's not with me but-"

The man shoved the tape back over my mouth and closed the trunk. I thought I heard Diana's scared voice right before he took the phone away, which was odd. I did hear a gunshot right outside a second later though, followed by a loud explosion, before the vehicle I was in roared to life and was suddenly in motion.

I tried to mentally document all of my surroundings, while simultaneously looking around for something to cut my bindings with, in order to keep myself from panicking. However, every so often the tightening feeling would return and I felt like I couldn't breathe.

Spencer's soft voice in my mind reassured me and reminded me how amazing our team is, which helped to soothe me a little. That led me to distract myself with thoughts of my wonderful husband. Of every little thing about him that I was so in love with. Things like his ridiculously cute laugh, our shared fascination with books and learning, the way he loved so deeply with his entire heart, his gentle kindness, his relentless determination, etc. One of my favorite things was the expression on his face whenever he concentrated hard on anything or whenever he was deep in thought. The way his brow furrowed while he rested his chin on his folded hand, every so often running his thumb or knuckle across his bottom lip or sometimes against his chin. I'd never seen him do this so intensely until the day he figured out this special puzzle box I'd had made for him.

*FLASHBACK*

It took me a bit to think of a good way to tell him the news. I didn't want to just say the words or show him the test or something simple. I wanted it to be as special as he was to me. It was a conversation we'd had about Sherlock Holmes that finally gave me the idea. I created a little scavenger hunt for him, the last clue of which was a puzzle box for him to solve. He loved puzzles and riddles. The answer to open the box was a phrase that he would have to guess.

He figured out the clues to the hunt much faster than expected, but the puzzle box actually took him quite a while to figure out. He got so determined to crack it that he brought it to work, unbeknownst to me. I was shocked when I walked into the round table room(I'd stopped in the break room for some tea which we were sadly out of) and found him studying it, eyebrows furrowed very deeply, head on hand and thumb brushing against his lip while Garcia and Hotch were briefing us on a case. I tried not to stare at him, because let's be honest it was unbelievably hot when he looked like that, and silently hoped he would not crack the code till later. Of course I had no such luck. He was a genius after all.

"I'm pregnant? What? I'm not-" Spencer suddenly said out loud, causing us all to stop and look at him. He was silenced by the box unlocking as he finished turning the small knobs to the correct letters. He saw what was inside and his eyes grew to the size of bowling balls as he picked it up. His face snapped up to look at me and he jumped out of his seat at the same time. "YOU'RE PREGNANT?!"

Everyone gaped at us. I froze, having not even made it into a chair yet.

"I...um...yeah," I managed to get out after a moment.

Spencer's mouth dropped open and his eyes somehow softened while staying wide. His floppy brown curls made him look even more like a puppy as he reached for me and squeaked out the word "Really?"

My heart melted, every emotion flooding to the surface, as I stepped closer to him.

"Yeah really. We're gonna have a baby, Spence," I said softly, smiling tentatively.

A gasp escaped Spencer's lips as he pulled me into his arms and spun me around while everyone cheered. He set me down and kissed me passionately through happy tears before the team engulfed us in hugs.

"Congratulations, you two," Hotch said, revealing a rare, genuine smile.

"Tanta Felicità!" Rossi exclaimed in Italian as he kissed our cheeks.

"You guys! This is amazing!" JJ said, "You're gonna be great parents!"

Tara echoed this enthusiastically, affectionately wrapping her arms around us for a brief moment before backing up.

"Wow, I was totally kidding when I asked if you wanted little baby geniuses some day. I'm so glad I was right though. This is wonderful news!" Emily quipped, grinning.

"BABY GENIUS THERE IS GOING TO BE A BABY GENIUS OH MY GOD I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU RIGHT NOW OH MY GOD!" Penelope all but screeched as she embraced us tightly, continuing to ramble. "Auntie Penelope is gonna spoil the heck out of this little one just like I do with Henry and Michael! I hope it's a girl but as long as he or she is healthy that's all that really matters."

"Way to go, Pretty Boy. I didn't know you had it in you!" Morgan joked once Garcia was done, clapping Spencer on the shoulder as we all giggled. "But I couldn't be happier for you both."

"Thanks man," Spencer chuckled, as he looked down at the object in his hands and teared up some more.

"What is it?" Morgan asked. Nobody had seemed to notice the object before but now they all zeroed in on it.

"A onesie?" JJ asked.

"It says 'Daddy's little Genius'...Daddy... I'm gonna be a dad...," Spencer murmured, smiling in that adorable way he does when he's emotional.

A chorus of awwwws filled the room followed by them scruffing Spencer's hair or clapping him on the shoulders again. I also received more hugs and a couple kisses on the head from Morgan and Rossi.

Hotch let us celebrate for a second, and celebrated with us, before drawing our attention back to the case at hand. Of course, Penelope told us we were having a real celebration when we got back and would not take no for an answer. And that's exactly what we did.

I hadn't meant for everyone to find out like that, but it ended up being the happiest moment in my life so far.

The memory faded as the tightening intensified. It felt like a weight pressing on me, like I wasn't going to be able to relax until I knew that Diana was safe. If anything happened to her, I wasn't sure what the hell I would do. She'd been doing so much better and she'd been absolutely over the moon upon learning she was going to be a grandmother. She'd nearly screamed out joyfully when we told her the news. She'd insisted that Spencer and I take turns reading to the baby every day and when Spencer was away, she took his place, picking up wherever he left off while I rested. Diana was genuinely wonderful and I was not violent by nature but I would go absolutely feral on anyone who hurt her, even in my current condition.

I tried to keep distracting myself with thoughts of Spencer and eventually began to doze off.

SPENCER POV:

I realized who the girl was as soon as she left the visiting room with my mother. I contacted the team as soon as possible to let them know, unable to keep from panicking.

Convincing them to believe me and the wait for news was excruciating but that was nothing compared to what I felt when Emily visited to update me on everything.

As soon as she walked in the room, I could see that something was very wrong, aside from Lindsey taking my mom. I think subconsciously I already knew what it was when I first saw Lindsey, but I couldn't bear to let myself even consider it.

"We found your caregiver dead in a house just a few houses down from yours. Ballistics came back and turns out Lindsey used her father's gun. We don't know whether it was to prove a point or something else, but the reasons are unimportant." Emily began, urging me to sit. I politely refused and she continued, "The point is that you were right, Reid. You were right and I didn't believe you. I'm so sorry."

"She's a daddy's girl. She can't help but use his gun," I mused out loud, going over the memories of her case in my mind.

"Good. That's good. That helps," Emily said, but there was something about her voice that alerted me.

I sat there across the table, shaking at this point, but I made myself look at her. "There's something else you're not telling me, isn't there?"

Emily looked down, hesitating for a second before answering.

"It's Y/N," she finally said, holding back tears,"Lindsey took her too."

My heart stopped. I heard Emily shout my name but couldn't focus on her at all. I couldn't think. I couldn't even pull oxygen into my lungs.

This was not happening.

This could not be happening.

Not my wife... not our baby...

I felt a hand on my arm. I shoved it off of me.

"You have to find them, Emily. Promise me you'll find my mom and Y/N." I begged, desperately.

"I promise you, Reid. We will find them," Emily assured me. "Right now you just have to find a way to isolate yourself."

I stormed toward the door and had the guard take me back to my cell.

I ended up having to make it look like Shaw stabbed me with a shiv to get put in solitary confinement. I couldn't handle anything else happening and I had to least try and stay safe on the off chance I got to get out and search for my wife and mom. Not that I had any hope that I would get out at this point in time, but I trusted my team with everything and I knew they would not rest till they found my family.

Sometime later, I found myself being brought out of isolation without any warning and I was terrified that Shaw had conjured up his own way to get to me. The guard left me in a room alone and I tried to remain calm, bracing myself for what was to come.

I was not prepared for my best friend to walk through the door.

"We're taking you home," JJ choked out as her eyes watered.

I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding as I pulled her into a tight hug. After a minute, she led me out the door and took me back to the BAU.

The sense of ease at seeing my work family again, especially the radiant embodiment of sunshine that was Penelope Garcia, was brief. It was soon overshadowed by unbridled rage when we discovered that Cat Adams was the true mastermind behind all of this.

She had Lindsey frame me for murder.

She had me put in prison.

She risked my sobriety by drugging me.

She had Lindsey kidnap my family.

Now, she was demanding to speak to me by using them as leverage.

Of course she wanted to play a game just like we did before when I arrested her, using my watch as the timer. She was angry that I'd outsmarted her so she wanted to break me. I was not about to let her have even a sliver of satisfaction.

She almost succeeded, however, when she revealed she was pregnant with my child.

Almost.

Apparently she'd told Lindsey to pretend to be Y/N after she dosed me with drugs so she could collect a sample from me down in Mexico. I knew it should not be possible, but I had been drugged and my memories of that day were still very hazy so I couldn't be sure.

"That's right, Y/N's not the only one carrying a baby protegé," Cat said in almost a sing song voice as I rushed out of the room. "I was thinking, if it's a boy, Spencie Junior. Or if it's a girl, Y/N. You know, since she played a part in her own conception."

JJ was waiting outside with Cat's file, hesitantly holding it up. I barely heard the words she said as I read it, then threw it against the wall once I saw the confirmation of pregnancy.

"Sorry," I said gently, upon noticing I had scared JJ. I ran my fingers through my hair. "I just...just need a minute."

JJ just nodded in understanding.

Some time later, the team discovered that Cat was lying about the child being mine and we eventually got her to call her cohort for proof of life.

My heart swelled when I heard the love of my life's voice on the other end of the phone.

"Yeah we're okay, I think," she answered softly. Dread filled me at her next words. "But Spencer they have Mom. I don't know where, she's not with me but-

She'd conferenced in the call for my mom too and their voices made me hopeful for a second before both calls were cut off with explosions.

I forced the metal table out of my way before shoving Cat against the wall by her throat.

"I'm gonna kill you," I hissed, enraged once more. "I'm gonna kill you."

I kept repeating that until JJ pried me off of Cat, reminding me over and over that she was pregnant.

I stormed out again with JJ hot on my heels. I didn't have time to break down before the team told us that there was a call in about an amber alert Emily put out for Lindsey. Two vehicles at the scene were blown up but the only victim inside was male.

I felt bad for the man who was killed, but this meant there was hope again.

JJ and I talked some things through and pieced together what Cat really wanted me to say. While I told Cat what she wanted to hear, the team discovered the prison guard who had actually been the one to impregnate Cat and found two properties he owned.

I won the game by telling Cat that I could have done several different things to get out of the situation with Shaw and his men but I chose the one that would cause the most pain. In the process, Lindsey overheard us on Emily's tablet which had been connected to the visiting room cameras, realizing Cat betrayed her and therefore giving up.

As I was heading out, Cat piped up again. "How are you going to be a father now that you've proven you enjoyed hurting those men in prison? I mean, because once you've crossed that line, you can never go back."

In a split second I was on my knees in front of her, yanking my watch off of her wrist.

"Watch me," I retorted before walking out.

The team found my mom first and they let me see her briefly, then they took her to the hospital to make sure she was okay. We went to a secondary location we'd discovered which was where they were holding Y/N. I wasn't technically supposed to go because I was not reinstated yet but I couldn't think clearly enough to obey that rule when my girl and my unborn child were in danger.

Luckily, JJ was a parent and knew me too well so she had my back. Rossi also understood and had a helicopter standing by. We managed to make it there in time for the team to breech the house and I rushed in along side them without thinking.

That's when my whole life changed.

Y/N P.O.V.

My captors brought me to a house and left me in a room on the floor. I was alone for awhile and attempted to move to relieve the tight cramping sensation, which had gotten so much worse. I tried to conceal my pain from the man who was walking around the house setting stuff up and attaching rectangle shaped objects to the walls.

I was horrified when I saw that they were C4 charges. The resulting panic ran concurrent with another very intense tightening sensation, followed by what felt like a toilet flushing inside me and then a few minutes later, warm liquid spilled out between my legs.

All at once, the realization hit. The pains I'd been feeling all day were contractions and the liquid was my water breaking.

I was in labor. I had been kidnapped, was about to be blown up and I was in fucking labor.

I wasn't even due for another few weeks so this shouldn't be happening yet. I mean, I knew from the books Spencer and I read that babies rarely came on their actual due dates, but I was still incredibly frightened.

I wept quietly. Three or four more excruciating contractions ripped through me much more quickly before I was distracted by the doors being busted open.

I almost didn't even notice Tara knocking out the unsub or the others disarming the bombs because all I could focus on was the beautiful face of my sweet Spencer as he rushed over to me.

He hijacked Luke's pocket knife from his belt, swiftly slicing through the ropes before wrapping his arms around me.

"Spence," I sobbed hysterically into his shoulder.

"I'm here, love. It's okay," he murmured into my hair, kissing the side of my head.

"How are you here?" I asked, almost unable to conceive that he was really in front of me.

"I'll explain later. Right now we have to get you out of here," He answered, reaching to help me up.

"Wait, is Mom-" I started to say, but he was way ahead of me.

"Mom is fine, Emily and Luke got her back." he responded, relief in his voice.

"Oh, thank God. I-oh!" I grimaced, grabbing my belly.

"What's wrong?" Spencer asked, his face instantly distressed.

"The baby is coming," I managed to say through gritted teeth. "Like, right now."

"What?!"He nearly shouted. He located and motioned to the paramedics that had followed him in. "She's in labor. We need to get her to the hospital immediately!"

The EMTs rushed over to us.

"Ma'am how far apart are your contractions?" one of the paramedics asked as he opened his bag, applied a blood pressure cuff to my arm and took my vitals. Another EMT started setting up a stretcher for me.

I gripped my husband's bicep for dear life as I felt another contraction after a little bit. He winced in pain but he supported me through it.

"I don't know, but close enough to know we ain't making it to the hospital," I groaned, leaning against him once it passed.

"Damn it, you're right. That last one was 2 minutes and 48 seconds from the one you had when I got here. How are you in active labor so quickly? The books said the first child usually takes the longest and it could be hours if not days before the baby is born," Spencer rambled anxiously.

"Um, pretty sure I've been having contractions since they took us," I told him,"How long has it been since then?"

He gaped at me,"It's about 1:30am. It's been approximately 17 hours. God, I'm so sorry, Y/N. This is not how this was supposed to happen. It's 3 weeks early and you're under too much stress-"

"It's okay, Spence. We're okay," I reassured him, grabbing my belly as another pain shot through me. "Oohh nope we're not!"

Spencer looked so freaked out which was sort of scaring me.

The EMT seemed to notice and stopped what he was doing,"Hey, it's going to be okay, guys. Her vitals and everything look good and babies are delivered a few weeks premature all the time and are in perfect health. We'll take good care of you all, I promise."

It seemed to work. Spencer relaxed a little bit and switched into doctor mode, holding my hands.

"You're alright, just remember the birthing classes. Breathe with me like this, okay?" He instructed in a gentle voice, demonstrating what the lamaze teacher taught us. I did what he said as best as I could.

The team, who was still standing there awkwardly, left when Spencer and the paramedic started to remove my short bottoms and slid a large pad thing underneath me. JJ said they would meet us at the hospital since they needed to check on Diana anyway. At some point in the process Spencer slipped behind me, sitting with his legs on either side of me and his arms under mine, probably without thinking about it. We sat like this a lot in the classes and also at home because he'd read that sitting like this while carefully lifting my belly provided some much needed relief from it weighing down on me.

"Looks like you're fully dialated. It's time for you to push," the paramedic said, after he checked me. "Uh, what are you doing?"

"I need," I grunted, shifting back against Spencer, who as quick to assist,"I need to be up..."

"What?" the medic asked, confused.

"Statistically, it's much more beneficial and effective to give birth in an upright position such as squatting or kneeling on all fours," Spencer prattled off facts as he lifted me so I was sitting up against his chest. He kept his arms underneath mine and entwined our fingers so I could squeeze his hands whenever I needed to."In fact, up until the 1700's, women were even known to give birth standing up. It allows the pelvic bones to open up for the child to pass through more easily and gravity helps the process move faster."

The medic gave him the look everyone gives him when he spouts facts and I supressed a giggle.

"Are you a doctor?" he asked my husband, incredulously.

"I have 3 phD's so technically yes-oh owww,"Spencer's sentence was interrupted by me squeezing the life out of his hands as another one hit.

The medic gave him a 'wow' look and then focused on me again,"Okay, anyway I'm gonna have you push through this contraction. Are you ready?"

I nodded and inhaled deeply, pushing on his cue. He counted down and told me to stop. I exhaled harshly and rested for a second before I was told to do it again. We repeated this a few times, Spencer lovingly encouraging me through it. The medic also reassured me that I was doing great, even though I was exhausted and didn't feel like I was doing well.

Sooner than expected, a tiny wail filled the room, changing everything and stirring an indescribable feeling inside me.

"It's a girl!" The paramedic announced, cleaning her, wrapping her in the blue towel things they use and placing her in my arms.

"Oh my gosh" I gasped as I stroked her small head, in hysterical tears at this point. "Hello my little love...oh Spence, look at her..."

Spencer, gaping at her in awe, managed to speak, "H-hi princess, I'm your dad...wow you're so beautiful...you look just like your mommy."

He wasn't wrong. She had his round, hazel eyes, but most of her facial features and her hair color were the same as mine. I smiled warmly down at her through my tears.

I was going to throw back a smart remark but it was forgotten as more tightening and the need to push again overtook me. "Something else is coming out what the-?"

"It's probably the placenta needing to be delivered," Spencer said, without taking his eyes off of our daughter.

"I don't think so," The medic said, reaching his hands out as I instinctively pushed some more.

Just when I thought I could not exert myself anymore, whatever it was came out and the medic grinned, holding it up. "Does that look like a placenta to you, Doctor?"

Our eyes just about popped out of our heads at the sight of the tiny wriggling form.

Another baby??!!

"I-No but- that's impossible," Spencer stuttered, in shock. I mirrored his expression completely.

"You didn't know?" The medic looked confused as he grabbed another towel thing.

"No, the ultrasounds only showed one baby," I said, in disbelief.

"This is a surprise then!" the medic chuckled. "Well congratulations Mom and Dad, it's a boy!"

He placed the baby in my other arm and reminded Spencer, who was still completely astounded, to cut the umbilical cords.

"We have twins?" Spencer whispered increduously, staring at the two small bundles wiggling against my chest.

"We have twins," I repeated, gazing back and forth between my babies and my husband, dumbfounded, "I can't believe it."

The second baby looked exactly like his father. The same brown curls, the same nose, lips, eyes, everything. He was perfect. Both our children were. I'd never felt so much love and joy in my life and I could tell Spencer hadn't either.

"Hi, sweet boy, we were not expecting you, but we are so happy that you're here," I cooed at my son.

"Yes we are. We love you so much, little buddy," Spencer agreed, resting his head on my shoulder as he brushed the boy's cheek lightly with his thumb.

I turned my head to face him and he pressed his lips to mine, murmuring. "I love you and I'm so proud of you."

"I love you too," I murmured back, feeling the warm wetness on my cheeks return as I pressed my forehead to his.

"Congratulations, again. They're adorable," The medic said, warmly as he cleaned everything up.

"Thank you," We answered simultaneously, smiling widely.

When the EMT was done, Spencer moved out from behind me and took the babies so the medics could lift me onto the stretcher. They put a warm blanket over me and then Spencer handed me one of the babies, still wanting to hold one.

Once we got to the hospital, Spencer went with the nurses who took the babies to get checked out. I was taken by other nurses who set me up in a room and made sure I was okay. While he was gone I asked one of my nurses to bring Diana and our friends up to my room.

Diana was a little confused for a minute when she saw me, but luckily her son walked in with a rolling bassinet at just the right moment, parking it next to my bed.

"Spencer's here," I told her softly.

She looked up at him and after a second she rushed into his arms and he embraced her happily, crying.

"Hi, Mom," he murmured.

She pulled back and took his face into her hands. "Don't you ever leave me again."

"I won't," He told her, pulling her back in for a hug. "I love you."

She said it back and after a bit, he was the one to pull back.

"Mom, I have a surprise for you. For all of you, actually," He said, looking at our friends. He smiled as he handed me one baby and then picked up the other and turned to face the group.

Everyone gasped or looked at us wide eyed.

There was a chorus of attempted quiet reactions from the team while Diana moed closer to us, some recognition beginning to spark in her eyes. I could see Garcia using every ounce of her strength not to freak out and accidentally scare her.

"Am I a grandma?" She asked, tentativel.

"Yeah, you are," Spencer answered, warmly.

Diana looked back and forth between us, confused. "But I thought there was only one?"

Spencer chuckled, gesturing to the blue bundle in his arms. "Yeah, we thought so too, until this little guy showed up unannounced."

"He's shocking people just like his father already," She grinned, earning a light laugh from all of us. "Well, do they have names yet?"

"Well, we have a girl name since we knew we were having a daughter, but we are still trying to figure out a boy name since he was a surprise," I answered.

"What's the girl's name?" she asked, sitting on the bed next to me. Spencer sat on my other side.

"Say hello to Amelia Diana Reid," We told her happily as I shifted the pink blanket away from our daughter's face so she could see better.

She gasped again and looked back and forth between Spencer and I in shock once more before smiling and gently hugging us. Awwww's filled the room at the scene.

"The middle name obviously needs no explanation, but the meaning behind the first name is something we want to share. Neither of us had good fathers and I don't have a good mother. So Amelia is the closest thing we could think of as a kind of combination of Aaron and Emily, our work mom and dad,"I explained, smiling adoringly at Emily.

She came over and embraced us carefully. "Thank you. I wish Hotch were here. I think you two are the only ones beside Jack that can get him to smile, and this would definitely turn that stoic frown upside down."

We giggled and so did several of our team members.

I helped Diana hold Amelia for a little bit, and then our son in turn until she started to be less lucid and wanted to rest. Emily had arranged for her to sleep and be cared for in a room close by ours so she could be near us. JJ took her to that room with a nurse and the others left our room for a little while so I could feed the twins. We were burping and changing them when everyone came back.

As soon as she was able to, Penelope pretty much exploded, accidentally interrupting Spencer as he was trying to tell me something. "Oh my gosh TWINS? Two baby geniuses for the price of one! This is the best news ever and I am going to buy tons of stuff for baby boy since you're gonna need double the baby supplies and you only have girl stuff right now and I am going to love them and hug them and be there for them and teach them lots of cool things and-"

"Garcia, breathe," Rossi said, patting her on the back as we all giggled. He turned to us, "Congratulations, both of you."

"Oh they're so precious, guys!"JJ cooed, coming over for a closer look. She was very careful as she hugged us,"You know, anything you need, I'm here for you. Okay?"

"Yeah same, we got you," Luke agreed.

"Well done, Dr. and Mrs, Reid," Tara said in admiration.

"Thanks everyone," we responded happily.

"You did good, mama. The babies are beautiful," Morgan said, leaning down and kissing me on the head as he touched Amelia's hand with his pinky finger. He smiled over at Spencer, "You too, kid. Gideon would be proud of you, you know."

The look on Spencer's face brought me to tears. I'd only been on the team a short time before Gideon left, but I did get to briefly experience the kind, caring, brilliant man he was, who loved Spencer like his own son and knew him better than he knew himself. He even knew the second Spencer and I met that we were falling for each other because he would pair us up a lot and whenever we were together or he caught us looking at one another, he got a look on his face like he was seeing something we were not. He later told Spencer this in his letter and told him to hold on to me and to not let the job get in the way of us. He said to find solace in each other and remind each other of the good things in the world when we were bogged down by all the bad things we saw at work.

This was what finally gave Spencer the courage to ask me out and thank God for that because I was going out of my mind over him by that point and I was so close to just giving up entirely.

Suffice it to say, that man meant the whole world to Spencer and by extention, to me as well. His loss had been beyond devastating for us and I had since been looking for a way to honor his memory....

I looked at my husband, "Hey love, what were you saying before Garcia's outburst?"

"Hmm?" He mumbled, having been pulled out of whatever thought process he was in, "Oh, I was saying I have an idea for our son's name..."

"Oh? What is it?" I asked, curiously.

"I noticed that the medic who delivered the twins had a nametag that said Elliot and I really liked it because it makes me think of the author T.S. Eliot, but also because it reminds me of my friend Elle who used to work with us and who I miss very much. So I was thinking we could name him Elliot, if you're okay with it, of course," He whispered, rambling a bit excitedly.

I knew who Elle was. He and some of the others had talked about her a lot and she seemed like a good person who had just been through a lot. She was like an older sister to Spencer and the name was really cute and meaningful so I was sold.

"I love it...and I have a suggestion for his middle name," I told him, eagerly.

"What?" he asked.

"Gideon," I whispered back, tentatively.

He stared at me for a second with his huge puppy eyes, looking like he was about to cry. He nodded fervently, his eyes moving to his tiny carbon copy sleeping in his arms. He'd barely taken his eyes off the twins since they'd been born and watching him become so  enamored by them made me fall even more in love with him.

"Hey guys, we came up with a name for our son," He said out loud, grabbing everyone's attention as he lifted one of the baby's hands, waving it. "I'd like you all to meet Elliot Gideon Reid."

Tara and Luke only partially connected the dots, since they only knew stories of Gideon and Morgan had just mentioned him.

The rest of the team, however, got both names immediately and there was not a dry eye amongst them. More hugs happened and then everyone took their turns holding the twins and talking with us for awhile until they saw us having trouble staying awake. They handed the babies back and quietly made their way out, one by one.

We put the twins in their bassinet and Spencer curled up next to me while we stared at them.

"Welcome to the world, Amelia and Elliot," we whispered. "We love you."

***********************************

EPILOGUE(Spencer POV):

I was reinstated to the FBI, after some substantial time off to be with my wife and new babies, with mandatory sabbaticals every so often. I did my best to balance work and home, actually electing to stay behind with Garcia sometimes so I could be close to home. A few years later, we had another set of twins, this time both showing up on the sonograms. They were a boy and girl again, and we named them Lilliana Jennifer Reid and Theodore Morgan Reid(Lilly and Theo for short).

Then, another year and a half later, we got pregnant with our last child, a complete surprise since we were told we could not have any more. We named her Davina Penelope Reid, Davina being the closest female name to David(for Rossi).

After that, we were done and our family was complete. Of course, the team adored them and spoiled them rotten. We also realized not long after Amelia and Elliot were born that my mom would be much better cared for in a facility, which was very difficult for me to come to terms with. Fortunately, we found an amazing facility nearby. She's actually thriving there and she loves her grandbabies so much. We bring them to visit her or bring her home sometimes. She often reads to them or teaches them about literature and history the way she taught me.

Life is good. And I am thankful for every day with my gorgeous wife, my five wonderful children, my awesome friends and of course, my mother.

***********************************************

[thesockghost]

Ok so everyone knows today’s Halloween special was fucking nuts, so I wanna share my thoughts on it:

!!!SPOILERS AHEAD!!! SCROLL PAST THIS AND GO WATCH THE S.A.M.S 2024 HALLOWEEN SPECIAL FIRST IF YOU HAVENT BECAUSE IT IS FUCKING PEAK!!!

Ok to start us off, I’d just like to say that the acting from Davis In this episode is amazing. I could genuinely feel the pain in sun’s voice as he begged for dark sun not to make him chose between nexus and moon, so kudos to Davis! You nocked it out of the park with the acting in this as always!

And on that topic, I’d just like to say that the moment dark sun asked sun if he now truly hates nexus doges the question is genuinely heartbreaking. Because there’s two ways to interpret it: one, that he does genuinely hate nexus and feels guilty for genuinely hating someone who he once called brother. or two, deep down he really does still care if even a little bit for nexus, which makes the fact that he has to kill nexus hit even harder.

Now I’d like to talk about the very interesting parallels between dark sun and nexus in this episode:

Nexus until the very end tried to escape is identity as a “moon”, but in the process went down the exact same path many other moons have gone down in his own way, by torturing his loved ones, especially his sun, just like many moons have before.

Dark sun on the other hand has basically done everything he could to successfully make himself everything BUT a sun, but still clings onto his identity as a “sun”.

To quote him exactly: “I’m sun. I’m every sun that you’ve ever met, that you ever will meet, that you’ve never met and will never meet. I’m you, I’m me, I’m sun.”. Now, while yes, he is technically correct, he still has the body and origins of most, if not all suns. But the moment he killed his moon and combined his own intelligence with his moon’s, that universe’s sun died. Both literally and metaphorically. He combined his code with his moon’s so therefore he is now technically an eclipse-, but also the moment he let his intrusive thoughts and desires win, the real sun died and nothing but an empty husk wearing his face remained.

To quote eclipse from the very first season of the show, sun’s a good person, but he wants to do so many horrible things. Key-word being “want”.

Despite everything, despite all of his horrible thoughts, he never acts on them. Nor any other sun rather than dark sun. We all have intrusive thoughts and feelings that can make us feel like disgusting human beings, but we almost never act on them. The sun could burn all of us up in an instant, yet it remains millions of miles away and gives us nothing but light and warmth. THATS what makes our sun something more than just a close by star. THATS what “being a sun” means in this story. Therefore because dark sun has given up caring for those who surround him, because he finally burned so bright and hot he let all around him fall to ashes, he can never truly consider himself anything but an average star again.

[lillie98]

How to Save the World—Stranger Things 5

I’ve had some time to sleep on the episode titles and think about them, read theories, etc. and I now believe they might be real.

Hear me out: Stranger Things is all about cycles, parallels, tropes happening over and over again. The Duffers love taking a moment and repeating it in slightly different ways to prove a point. The story started with “The Vanishing of Will Byers” because we needed to place a small, innocent child in the center of our story, something to bring our character together and drive them to action. Well, that child is no longer in danger and our team is ripping apart at the seams. It’s almost like we need something similar to reunite everyone and drive them to action again.

Remember: The Duffers love parallels. Will’s disappearance brought his deeply fractured family together, uniting them for a common cause. It also brought Nancy and Jon together when their families needed them most. Now, the Byers are a united front, ready to tackle any monster that comes their way. They are the glorification of the avant-gard family. Now which family is struggling? The Wheelers. The perfect, All-American Nuclear Family: Mom, Dad, 3 kids, and a picket fence. They look perfect to the outside world, but behind closed doors, they are deeply struggling. They don’t communicate, the parents have no idea what’s happening in their children’s lives, and if they’re not careful, if they don’t come together and form a united front—they’re going to lose everything, potentially causing the end of the world. (Why? I haven’t gotten that far yet!)

Now, how do we inspire them to action? Maybe by taking the child who was born to save their crumbling marriage—the one has seen everything but, up until this point, been too young to contribute. Now, she’ll be the same age Will was when he disappeared and Mike and Will are the same age as Jon and Nancy. The Duffers are trying to illustrate the idea of “The Next Generation.” This evil, this Upside Down dimension is NEVER going to stop until someone from the Wheeler and Byers families breaks the cycle. Children will continue to vanish, the world will continue to crumble, until someone steps up and says ENOUGH. The Wheelers and Byers (parents and children) must step up and face their pasts in order to move forward.

The “Stranger Things” are not only LGBTQ+ matters, they are the skeletons we hide in the closet that literally eat us alive. They are the dark, festering parts of ourselves we don’t let anyone else see. The invisible cancers that slowly and silently kill us. Until we face them head on, until we bring them to the light, they will NEVER die. Stranger Things is about owning your past, facing your fears, and finding the light again.

So yes, Stranger Things will end with Will Byers making it home from Mike Wheeler’s house on November 6, 1983, but not in a time traveling way, in a finally letting go of that scared, pained little boy who thought the world was better off without him. It’s Mike accepting his sexuality and place in his family. His role as a leader. It’s Joyce accepting love from Hopper, who must accept that he is not actually cursed, but that sometimes, bad things happen to good people, even when they think they’re doing the right thing (Vietnam). it’s Karen and Ted falling in love again and fighting to save their family. It’s Eleven discovering that love, not anger, should fuel her powers. It’s mourning your stolen childhood while stepping into the version of yourself that child never got to be. It’s stopping the cycle and creating a better world for the Will Byers and Mike Wheelers and Jane Hoppers of tomorrow. THAT’S how you become a Hero.