#as the shit dumbledore pulled on harry on the regular

[cherryslyce]

Second Son (I) | Regulus Black

Series Synopsis: Forbidden from contacting Harry over the summer, you opt to explore the eerie halls of Grimmauld Place where you stumble upon a lonely portrait of the House's second son.

Part II / Series Masterlist

Pairing: Regulus Black x Gender Neutral Reader

Notes: Not canon compliant, cursing, Kreacher is a little shit

Following the sudden death of Cedric Diggory months before, the magical world flipped on its nose. The Daily Prophet pumped out towers of articles denouncing The Boy Who Lived, dubbing Harry as The Boy Who Lied.

Clever. Seriously, people actually subscribe to read that shit?

Surprisingly, Dumbledore forbid any form of contact with Harry during the summer--Hermione and Ron threw quite the fit after receiving the news. The most unsurprising reaction came from the ex-convict himself, Sirius Black.

Azkaban somehow became even less appealing after having to sit through his meltdown at the dinner table.

Who knew dementors could twist your spirit so far as to make petulant meltdowns a regular occurrence.

If his word was anything to go by, he got the better end of the deal compared to his murderous, psychopathic cousin, Bellatrix Lestrange.

Entirely reassuring.

The inability to rant to Harry via letters, deal with Ron's whining, engage Hermione in her tangents, or sit around Sirius left you with no choice but to venture around on your own.

There was virtually no chance of running into anybody but the twins (who seriously needed their apparating privileges revoked) on your little escapade.

The hallways were dusty and suffocating from the sheer amount of unkempt gothic vintage furniture lining the perimeter. While an uncanny atmosphere of suffering blanketed every centimeter of the walls.

Wandering aimlessly, a sudden pulse of magic combined with your reckless compulsion steers your attention towards a tall, black door. The crystal door knob was dull in the dim light, the keyhole and backing rusting with age.

Clearly, no one has gone into the room in years--decades, even.

The room was located on the third floor of the house, far away from the bedrooms the Weasleys were sleeping in and even farther away from the restless master of the house (who was pacing like a maniac in the kitchen for the nth hour straight).

What's the worse that can happen?

Famous last words (Harry's impulsivity was definitely rubbing off on you).

The door put up quite a fight when you tried to twist the knob, creaking in protest before finally giving way as you pushed with your entire body.

You stumbled in, nearly choking on the cloud of dust that danced up into the air with your ever so graceful entrance. Taking a look around, you came to one conclusion.

The room was utterly boring.

Boxes lined nearly every inch of the floor, the wallpaper peeling and dragging down the walls, and the small window across the room was clouded by dirt. A lone ray of light illuminated a small black dresser table against the wall. Curiously, you carefully weaved around the boxes on the floor and padded towards the dresser.

Just as you reached to pull one of the drawers open, an unsettling prickle ran down your spine. Instinctively grasping at your wand, you spun around only to be met with the opposite wall and more dust.

Quickly scanning the room again, your breath caught in your throat as you locked eyes with a pair of narrowed ones.

It was a bloody portrait.

“Who are you? Who let you in here?”

The boy in the painting seemed only a few years older than you with pin-straight posture and sharp features to match. His voice echoed with firmness, a voice that seemed used to commanding respect and attention.

But Merlin and Morgana…he was divine. So divine that even Draco Malfoy would lose his composure if someone this attractive showed up at Hogwarts.

“No one...I'm no one. Who are you? You look…er-familiar.”

Your last words came out as more of a question as you slowly drank up every detail of his features.

The boy’s eyes narrowed further into a glare, seemingly starting to become irate with your dodgy answer. Before he could retort, a familiar pop sounded through the room and before you could even comprehend what was happening, a familiar house elf was barreling through the boxes and dropping in front of the portrait.

“Master Regulus! Kreacher has failed you! Disgraceful Master Sirius has stolen everything! Oh my poor Mistress!”

The boy seemed taken aback by the sudden intrusion and the rather emotional outburst from Kreacher.

Seriously, could portraits take that many steps back?

Watching for a few more moments with wide eyes, it seemed that nothing the boy was saying was registering to the inconsolable elf.

Going to give the elf and Regulus some privacy, you scampered away and closed the door with much effort and an audible huff.

As you started walking away, a sudden bang nearly snatched your soul out of your body. Spinning around, confusion washed over you as Kreacher struggled to clamber off of the worn carpet, a disgruntled noise echoing around the hall.

Kreacher had just flew into the wall. Did the elf lose some screws and try to become a part of the bloody wallpaper?

“Kreacher? What happened?!”

Before the snippy elf could reply, loud footsteps pounded nearby and a disheveled Sirius bounded up from the staircase, shooting a look of mixed disbelief and contempt at his elf.

“What the hell?! Kreacher what are you doing?! You can’t just leave when I’m telling you to do something!”

Feeling, again, like an intruder to a conversation, you shuffled against the wall and towards the stairs as the house elf snarled at the older man, briefly eyeing you with confusion. Raising your eyebrows, you watch as the elf shoots glances behind him towards the room before popping away from a screaming Sirius.

Rolling your eyes, you say a silent farewell to the mysterious room only to notice the door was no longer there. The area where the door should have been was replaced with nothing more than peeling wall and a dusty wall lamp.

Did you just hallucinate the last 10 minutes of your life?

Apparently not. A few days had passed since your strange encounter with Regulus Black in the disappearing storage room, and you had somehow gained the undivided attention of Kreacher.

It seemed the barmy elf held some newfound admiration for you since you somehow reunited him with the young master he actually liked.

You were nose-deep in a book about Ancient Property Magic from the Black Library when the elf hesitantly approached you.

"Kreacher has a question for the young blood-traitor."

What a punk.

Placing the book off to the side, you rub the bridge of your nose in exasperation.

How did Hermione go on for hours reading in these conditions?

All the words were blending together and your eyes stung from all the damn dust in the house.

"Hello Kreacher. What do you need?"

"How did the young blood-traitor find Master Regulus? Kreacher doesn't know how Master Regulus is here...Kreacher has failed...Master Sirius is a lawless traitor undeserving--"

"Woah! Okay...while I am not too sure about how exactly I found that room. I suppose it is a good thing you have such er--apprehensions about Sirius. I don't think he would appreciate me breaking into one of the rooms here."

Which was entirely true.

Sirius was off his rocker. The combination of being away from his godson, listening to his mother screech every morning, and having to deal with Molly fussing over everyone was working him up the wall.

You felt almost bad for not telling Sirius about Regulus, but he had plenty on his plate and it felt nice to have something to yourself--your own little summer secret.

Granted, it was more accurate to describe it as a dead-pureblood-heir summer quest. Though, not as weird as giving a troll brain damage in your first year at Hogwarts.

Suddenly, you had a great idea.

"Hey Kreacher, want to go exploring with me?"

The house elf was skeptical for most of your trek upstairs, and he looked positively gleeful when you managed to somehow summon the secret door.

Apparently, Kreacher was magically expelled from the room the moment you left. So you were somehow the key to accessing the missing Young Master.

Before you could even caution the elf or come up with a speech for Regulus, the little thing was already flying for the door knob.

"You are back."

Regulus looked all but the same, except more tired than suspicious this time around.

"Yes. I hope you don't mind that I'm here. I have brought Kreacher as an olive branch to show that I am of no threat."

The boy's eyes flicker towards the unusually silent elf, and then pierces you again. Something akin to amusement danced in his eyes and you were almost offended.

You were no Harry Potter, but you weren't magically inept.

"Answer my question from last time. Who are you?"

"My name is Y/N. I don't know how or why this room exists, and it doesn't seem like Sirius has any knowledge of it. But from the looks of it, I'm the only one who can find this room."

"Sirius? He is alive then?"

Your lip quirks at the remark and you turn your gaze to the ceiling, "Yes, but he isn't quite himself".

"What?"

"Azkaban tends to have that effect."

"What?"

"You've missed a lot, Regulus. Like a lot. You're different from what I've heard though, pleasantly so. After all you haven't called me a foul, loathsome blood traitor. Nor have you tried to preach blood purity to me yet."

Regulus considers you for a few moments, eyes imperceptibly running over your expression. It is only for the briefest moment that you see something comparable to respect shine in his eyes.

Kreacher shifts uncomfortably and looked ready to butthead you, but Regulus interrupts the sudden blanket of silence.

"Kreacher, could you give us some privacy?"

The elf looked ready to vehemently protest in a manner similar to how he denies Sirius, but seemed to remember that he actually gave a flying handle about Regulus‘ opinion of him.

"If you wish, Master Regulus. Kreacher will be outside."

The elf pops away and you turn to maintain steady eye contact with the boy, becoming more intrigued with every passing second.

"You are right. I haven't tried to indoctrinate you or denounce your beliefs. I have been here for a long blur of time. I have had the space to formulate my own thoughts and opinions."

"Oh? A death eater finding salvation and seeing the light. Of course it'd be a feat only achievable through death."

"You speak as though we--they are still at large. Are there still death eaters around?" The disbelief flickering across his face spurred you to entertain him with an answer despite your former apprehension towards him.

"Yes. Many are well and alive. Lucius Malfoy prides himself in being able to circumvent the law and maintain his job in the Ministry despite his allegiance to the Dark Lord. Not that it will do him any good. From what I can deduce, the Dark Lord is not very forgiving."

Regulus looks like he's been suckerpunched in the gut, grimacing at every word that passes through your lips.

"You are right. Lucius will be punished for his treachery. I had hoped that the world would be rid of the Dark Lord after my death."

Confusion passes through you in waves as an indecipherable emotion mars his face.

So he wasn't a valiant supporter of the Dark Lord? Then it would seem the rumors that he was killed by the Dark Lord or his followers have some credibility.

"Well, the Dark Lord was gone, so to speak, for a while at least. It is only as of a few months ago did he come back in full form."

"I see."

"You don't seem surprised. Well, he killed one of my friends and traumatized my best friend so I hope you'll give me permission to wring his neck."

"You're quite vulgar."

"I am a saint compared to your brother, and my vulgarity is very much justified."

Regulus hums in understanding and you could almost see a miniscule smile stretching at his lips.

"Well, for your sake, I hope you never have to come face to face with the Dark Lord."

"I don't have much of a choice, he's been trying to eviscerate my friends and I since we were 11."

"Ah...well it would appear that you are to join me in the afterlife soon then."

"You'd like that wouldn't you? But I have no plans on dying anytime soon."

"Shame."

"Sod off. You're fine on your own...right?"

Dumb question, the man is literally stuck inside a painting in an abandoned secret room.

"It does get a bit lonely. But it is only the punishment for my sins."

"Well, I think you're quite swell. So don't worry, I have the whole entire summer to bother you. Think of it as an added layer of punishment."

"If you insist." His words conveyed exasperation, but the boyish smile that lit up his face told you a completely different story.

You couldn't help but admire his expression, committing it to memory because you were sure that his smiles were a rarity.

Pretty.

Wow. You were absolutely screwed.

[sporksaber]

I'm gonna talk about that hp au because it lives in the back of my head like a stray cat that's wandered in and you cant get to leave.

So dumbledore dumbledied. Why? Because he's annoying and I dont want to deal with him. How? Idk, a curse with a ten year delay of smthn. Mcgonagall is head mistress now. (also, shes fifty-ish. We're ignoring the fact that jkr aged her up after the movies were cast and that she is bad at math in every adaptation and interview since.) She became headmistress the year prior to harry getting to school.

Mcgonagall isnt about to let any of the bullshit dumbledore allowed slide. So the teachers are going to be a bit different and when students have problems theyll be dealt with properly.

So, the crux of this au, harry is sorted into slytherin. He didn't sit with ron on the train, and didnt think to ask to not be slytherin. The hat asks what harry wants out of howgwarts and while harry can't verbally answer the hat is like, got it. Puts him into Slytherin. (Above all his wants, there was a stronger yearning for the ability to make his own way. To not just have but to create safety and family and win against the people pushing him down.)

His first year is fairly eventful. Quirrel is there and so is Snape. This time though, there is no Voldemort and the philosopher's stone isnt in Hogwarts. Quirrel is just a regular piece of shit wizard nazi.

Harry has a very visceral reaction to the things the slytherin students will say, so he doesnt get along with them. Snape is also an asshole, so he doesnt get along with him either. Draco is very much pulling pigtails the entire year because he wasnt properly socialized as a child and harry has pretty eyes.

Durring that year Harry gets in trouble a lot. He'll talk back to snape for being unfair and discriminatory, he calls out quirrel for being straight up wizard racist (as quirrel isnt possessed he is more assertive), he argues with his housemates be it draco or the occasional upperclassman who is causing trouble.

He's also not good at school. Harry's hatred of studying in the original was never explained (i think jkr didnt want to do the extra world building). But in this he is just very much behind his year level. He's never had help before, nor a safe environment to learn in.

This leads to him finally getting to talk to mcgonagall (I love her so so much). She sits him down like, you're not in any trouble, have a cookie, I just want to talk about how you're doing. Harry has not a clue what to do. She talks to him about each class, asks if he made any friends, asks about slytherin.

Eventually it gets to the point that he kind of breaks down. Hes like, "I just dont understand. Everything's so amazing, I love being here, but some people are just so meanm"

She asks what he means and coaxs him to tell her all about snape and quirrel and the other students.

Mcgonagall takes a moment. And then she apologizes. Shes heen headmistress for just about a full year at this point and it seems she had some oversights.

She puts quirrel and snape on what is effectively probation. Quirrel is told that he will not be asked back the next year and any slip up will lead to immidient termination and being reported to the ministry.

Snape has been a teacher for ten years at this point and looking back mcgonagall knows that he has always shown signs of this problem. He is told to fix it or she'll let him go.

She also asks one hermione Granger if she'd be willing to tutor some peers. Harry begins to catch up on his classes.

The year comes to an end uneventfully. He has one more big spat with malfoy that leaves them having detention with mcgonagall. They clean and sort plaques in her office as she does some paperwork. She answers questions and gives anecdotes about what they find. She matches each of dracos snarky complaints.

Harry goes back to the Dursley's that summer. (One last oversight from mcgonagall.)

Year two: where the actual part that lives rent free in my head is.

Harry meets the one and only Luna Lovegood on the train. Luna is wierd and nothing she says makes sense, but harry is used to that by now so he thinks little of it. He rather likes her, shes fun to talk to. He hesitates to tell her he's a slytherin but she doesn't care at all about it.

[colubrina]

I have feelings on the Black family (will I ever shut up about Bellatrix calling Sirius “my dear cousin” and taunting Harry with the reminder that she is the one with the biological connection to Sirius? No. Will I ever stop thinking about Snape toasting Bellatrix for killing Sirius and neither Narcissa nor Bellatrix are shown to toast him back? No. We got snippets, and those snippets paint a very interesting picture of what the Blacks’ relationships were like pre-Voldemort and even what it might have been like for Sirius and Bellatrix to be locked up in Azkaban together for 12 years) and Pygmalion very much helps to sate that. Narcissa saying she was raised to believe falling in love with a rich man was as easy as falling in love with a poor man, Drusilla saying a Black should never marry a werewolf, Sirius only getting disowned for his marriage to Remus and not anything else but still showing up to family gatherings without being kicked out, Regulus directly calling Remus “the cause of [Sirius’s] disgrace: these things are all tied together and inform us that the Black family has Remus permanently on their shit list for Sirius being disowned, he never would have been had he not met Remus. Sirius doesn’t even like Drusilla but the moment the Order keeps calling her “that Black girl” when her wedding to Neville is announced, Sirius is hollering that she has a name; he defends her and Neville not allowing Alice to meet Belladonna by pointing out that telling Drusilla she looked like a whore at her own wedding wasn’t exactly going to endear her to the couple. Sirius hands over the Weasley family without hesitation the moment he learns Dumbledore is planning to use the kids and Belladonna is going to Hogwarts; Molly trusted Sirius with the Fidelius secret and Sirius picked his family without thinking twice. All of this also fits nicely with my headcanon that the Black family is the wildest family in Britain and it sucked for people attending school with them, imagine talking shit about one of them and then the rest just appear outside your classroom and pull you aside for a “chat;” this is a regular occurrence because they are the epitome of “only I can be mean to my relatives.” I like to think that Narcissa, for all she is very much a proper pureblood wife, is also still talking to Sirius throughout the fic and we just don’t see it; Lucius makes a point to be in a different section of the Manor when Sirius visits because he gets that his wife loves her family and that Sirius may be on the opposite side but he’s trying to help his family (as Narcissa frostily informed him of Sirius trying to get Belladonna away from Hogwarts to protect her when Lucius tried to protest. Lucius, no fool and not interested in being murdered in his sleep, gave in to the inevitable and allows Sirius in his house) but Sirius gives him a migraine no potion can fix. Pygmalion, my beloved.

I love the Blacks because they are TERRIBLE but loyal to one another (at least in my head) in ways that are wildly dysfunctional but their version of love. And they might HATE each other, but God help anyone else who dares to agree that, yes, that other Black is worth hating. Because, oh hell no. That is not allowed.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

it’s really a tough one, basing it on the book version of everyone……..theyre really kind of similar roles….theyre both sending uninformed english schoolchildren essentially from another world to take care of problems they couldve stepped in and handled themselves………… my dumbledore hate is really strong, aslan is just frustrating but you can kind of wave it off because part of his lore is that everyone has just accepted he has his own bullshit way of doing things that involves waiting for things to get really shitty before he bothers showing up after giving 10yr olds a crack at it first, and then leaving before anythings really resolved. but dumbledore doesnt deserve any of his reputation and he also uses that reputation to solve problems he created while pretending he totally didnt create those problems and has been so helpful this whole time with his superknowledge about everything thats going on, what do you mean i never really helped anyone if it wasnt convenient for me!!! he sucks

aslan also throws children to the wolves at random but none of them ever died of it. also, he’s generally just kind of rude and unhelpful to them and everyone else when it would be a lot easier to be a little friendlier and more informative. but thats part of his thing, whereas dumbledore is supposed to be accessible and yet never helps any students ever and makes crap decisions re their welfare. he’s shittier. aslan at least handles the boss battles. and aslan couldve intervened earlier but he didnt ever really…cause the rise of a supervillian directly through his own negligence. and sure aslan is lion god but dumbledore is supposed to be the most powerful wizard alive, which is close enough to that in a practical sense.

i’ll still allow that its debatable but imo dumbledore is crappier

[theleftovertaco]

Don’t Move

I finally got to the cockwarming ask, but for this one I’m pretty much going to stick with about 5 people, being Harry, Neville, Fred, George, and Draco. If you want me to do the others or anyone else please send me an ask and I’ll write it for you then but holidays are still a little hectic so for now I’m only posting these five

This is still pretty much dom!reader

Also this is pretty clear but obviously don’t read this if you’re a kid 

Ok now to the good shit

Fred

Fred and you were lying alone on the couch in the Gryffindor common room, studying for finals

He was distracted, to say the least- by pranks, by summer holiday

It was impossible to get his little ADHD brain to focus

So you unzipped his pants and pulled out his dick

“What are you doing, Y/N?!” as you sunk down on him, trailing kisses up his jaw

“You memorize the thirteen ogre wars, and I’ll let you cum.” “Are you fucking kidding me, please love.”

You didn’t move, just slightly shifted over time to make him squirm

He had them down in about 20 minutes 

And you always keep your promises

George

You were in the common room watching Fred shoot his shot with Angelina while cuddling with George

George was quiet. Too quiet. He was the less loud of the twin duo, but even for him this was quiet

So you turned to him, “What’s wrong, sunshine?” And he kinda just looked at you really needily

You understood pretty quickly, and under your shared blanket, you let him slip inside you and he whined some under his breath

“Baby, please.” “Please what, hm sunshine?” “Please fucking move!”

You just made him wait until much later when the common room cleared out entirely and then you rode him until he came

Harry

Harry is always fucking stressed with his chosen one shit

To be honest, as his S/O, its exhausting, but you know he’s ten times more stressed at any given moment than you are

Harry develops sensory overload over time, and sometimes he needs one single sensation to focus on

You provide that for him, so after a talk with Dumbledore late one night, you sneak into the boys dorm while his mates are all out and join him under his covers

“What are you doing, love?” “Shhh, tell me if you want me to stop, okay?”

He doesn’t tell you to stop, more just begs you to continue

He holds onto you as you let him release, and when you’re finished, he looks like he might cry

“Shhh, honey, you did so good. So perfecct for me.” 

Aftercare is always a much with your boy

Draco

Draco can be a bit of a pompous git sometimes

He occasionally needs someone to remind him of his place

After an argument where he gets a little too cheeky, you’ve had enough and you push him into an empty classroom

“Whoa, if you wanted me this bad, you should have just said so- wait, what are you doing?”

You just hummed in response

“Aren’t you going to move?” “No, I don’t think I will.” “Love, please.”

After about 30 minutes of him trying to rock up into you, and you holding him down every time he tries, you get up and leave, with him confused and hard

It was maybe the most fun you had both had in weeks

Neville

Neville loved herbology, that we all know

And often when he was excited about something he read in a herbology book that you got him, he would read it aloud to you

After getting him a new book, you settled down with him to read it

At some point, you pulled him out of his boxers and sank down and he responded with a choked sound and a look of surprise

“Uhh, Y/N, I-” “Shh, read your book to me, baby.” “But I-” “Get through another chapter and I’ll let you come.”

He responded with a shaky nod and continued

Listening to his choked off sounds and shivering voice was the cutest and hottest thing ever, in your opinion

He though so too, apparently, since after it became a regular occurrence following a stressful day

Yea ok that’s it tell me if you want more bye 

[uncontinuous]

I just had the strangest but great AU thought

Harry Potter AU where Dumbledore either A) dies of old age B) is incapacitated by old age pre canon. Say like when Harry is six-ish.

By then Voldemort is still to weak to come back, but his followers have scattered too far to reasonably take over. (And well Dumbledore was simple one of the Order members the regular Death Eaters feared but no one needs to know that.)

But that fear is still there enough for the Order to quickly pull it’s shit together and curb any infighting. And therefore only competent people take over.

So naturally with any change in management someone takes a relook at all of Dumbledore’s plans including how he’s handling the Boy Who Got Rid of Voldemort As An Infant, sees exactly how the Dursleys are treating him and realises they’ve abandoned the saviour of the British Wizarding world to a shit life, and goes “this is not done”.

They can’t take Harry out of Privet Drive because arguably the ancient blood magic that protects him is the best but nothing can stop them from moving the fuck in to Privet Drive.

Cue Little Whinging becoming another one of those tiny Wizarding parts of Britain in the middle of Muggles, because Order members en masse made deals for houses and moved the fuck in. Cue the Dursleys increasing outrage. Cue Harry realising he has neighbours who now suddenly actually like him, children who genuinely want to play with him and not Dudley, and said good neighbours even offer to let him sleep over if things get bad. Who constantly feed him.

Who teach him about magic, and take him with them to work when they do their own kids. By eight Harry knows Diagon and Knockturn alleys like the back of his hand. He knows his way through the Ministry of Magic.

By the time Harry goes to Hogwarts, it’s not as an ignorant child with a changeling fantasy, and as a ready solider should Voldemort rise again. It’s a young boy who’s made family beyond blood, who will have a decent schooling experience. It’s a boy who learned young to be kind to others, but he’s also learned to meddle for good, because his whole life changed when people were kind to him and meddled in on his behalf. (Oh he knows as he gets older the reasons were different. But the logic you take in as a six year old is hard to shake off). So Harry Potter stays this meddlesome forcefully kind person, House rules, their parents histories, be fucking damned.

Harry Potter is a boy who’s got an ever growing army of families ready to fight for him because he’s as much as their own son than a Potter at this point.

[minervahopebeyond]

Blood Petals.

Hello!! I hope you like this one!! Tell me in the comments what you thought! It’s so fun to read them 💕

Ps. I’ve checked but sorry if you find any errors in this one (grammar or vocabulary)

Chapter 19: The charade.

The firsts weeks back at Hogwarts were difficult. Potter had adopted this attitude with him that Draco did not like.

He nearly hadn’t talked to the green-eyed boy since New Year’s Eve. Potter only spoke to him if necessary, and would (deliberately) find excuses to not spend time with the Golden Trio if the Slytherins were there.

He found himself in a dilemma. If he told the truth, Potter would talk to him again (which was a good thing), but strategically speaking... Weasley thinking that Draco was in love with Theo was the best thing that could ever happen to him. The redhead had stopped writing in that stupid notebook and if Draco didn’t keep up the charade, he was bound to start his little investigation again.

Draco had to admit that Theodore was the most logical choice to explain the Hanahaki. If he denied Weasley’s theory, eventually his friend would put two and two together and Draco’s life would be over. Well... He was already dying, but at least he could die with dignity.

He didn’t have a chance with Potter; his only comfort was being close to him, in the way he had been this last couple of months. And Weasley said that he would come around eventually... So Draco just went with it.

He always had this thing for Theo. It was really insignificant compared to what he felt for Potter, but it was there. He just really hated to admit it. The blond boy always thought that the brunette was beautiful, Pansy even used to tease him for staring from time to time.

There was also something about the way he treated Draco... and no, he didn’t mean when somebody was watching them, because Theo would get really defensive and say stupid shit all the time. He meant the way he was when they were alone, the gifts he gave to him on his birthday when everyone was sleep, the way that he would crawl into Draco’s bed when he had a nightmare, and things like what he did for him at the hospital... Looking for solutions, breaking rules just to see him safe; even if they were in this limbo of friendship right now.

Draco always had his doubts with Theo. What he said on the Hogsmade weekend was true: homophobic bastards tended to be just scare little boys still in the closet. The brunette made really clear ,everyday, that he was disgusted by homosexuality and he only liked girls. But then, he would treat him like that... he didn’t care if Draco hugged him in his sleep and honestly, he just couldn’t understand how someone that homophobic could be so comfortable with the affection of his gay best friend. This were all the his reasons to put him on the list with the question marks; he truly didn’t know.

Weeks turned into a month and a half and Valentine’s Day was here. Potter was still avoiding him. He didn’t treat him badly if he saw him, but... Draco noticed the difference with before; he didn’t smile warmly at him anymore and he didn’t reach out to him if he had a problem, not even to talk about Ginevra. The blond boy couldn’t understand how he got to a moment of his life where he wished that scarhead would tell him about his stupid crush on Weasley’s sister.

He was with the weasel outside, the disgusting lovey-dovey thing that was happening on the Great Hall was just too much.

“Are you sending him something?” The redhead asked curiously. He looked at him like he had lost his mind. “I just think that maybe you could approach him anonymously, at least.” Draco snorted.

“He would know it’s me.” And that just put a smug smile on Weasley’s face.

“Yes, because you have this weird connection that only you two can understand.”

And Draco almost cried because that applied to Potter as well. He coughed a few times right next to Weasley.

—————

Ron’s birthday came and Draco looked like shit. His coughs were more regular because Potter was putting this distance between them.

He checked himself on the mirror one last time. The make up almost covered the dark circles around his eyes, he still looked kind of tired but he could say that he had stayed studying the night before. He grabbed Weasley’s present and went to meet everyone at the Great Hall.

Blaise and Pansy were already at the Gryffindor table with the Golden Trio and some of the other Gryffindors. It was kind of bizarre to see them with green ties in a sea of Red and golden.

He walked to where they were, and sat right between Weasley and Potter. He knew it was a desperate thing to do, but he couldn’t help it; the daffodils were moving inside of him, begging him to be close to the boy. He could feel Potter shifting in his seat, uncomfortable. ‘I’m sorry, I know you don’t want me around but I think I might just die if we keep this up.’

He put the little box in front of Weasley. The redhead smiled at him as he opened it, then, he stared at it confused.

“This is a necklace, ferret.” Draco snorted.

“How observant, weasel.”

Then he heard Hermione hissing at the redhead.

“Ronald! Don’t be ungrateful! Say thank you.” And the poor weasel was looking at him, trying to lie and thank him for the jewelry but he couldn’t. Draco laughed and showed him the little note inside the box. Weasley started to read it.

Happy Birthday, weasel.

The necklace has a drop of my blood inside of it (yes, I know it’s gross).

For whatever shit that you and the other two idiots are planning... I wanted to have a way of knowing that you were alive.

-Ferret.

Suddenly Ron was pulling him into a bone crushing hug, Draco widened his eyes before returning the hug.

“This is brilliant. Thank you.” Then he let the blond boy, to put on the necklace and hide it inside his shirt. Draco smiled.

Pansy and Blaise already knew what it was, but the rest of the Gryffindors were all asking about the gift. Weasley said that it was confidential and as the birthday boy he was demanding the subject to be dropped entirely, so they could enjoy the rest of the breakfast. After all, this was the only moment in the day where the Slytherins could be there since they didn’t share classes on Mondays.

Potter didn’t talk to him, not even once. Draco thought that being Weasley’s birthday he would be a little kinder but the boy seemed to be even more distant with him. He was almost getting used to the awful feeling inside of his lungs, to the petals burning them constantly. He just wished he didn’t have to.

————————-

The next day, Draco was called by Severus to his office. He thought that maybe it was his weekly report on his mother... He couldn’t have been any more wrong.

“The Weasley boy is unconscious at the infirmary. Apparently last night he drank something that was poisoned. I’m giving you the first two periods to visit him. I’ll ask Miss Parkinson and Mister Zabini to take notes for you.”

Draco just stood there. Trying to process what Severus just told him.

“Is he alright...? I mean-“ He asked in a strangled voice.

“He is stable. He was with Potter and Professor Slughorn. Horace says that Harry gave him a bezoar right on time, honestly I’m shocked that Potter even knows what a bezoar is.”

Draco glared at his godfather.

“It’s first year level, Severus. He is not stupid.” The man didn’t even raise his eyes from what he was writing.

“Yes, Draco. I’ll be careful not to insult our savior in front of you.” Draco rolled his eyes and exited the office.

When he got to the infirmary, Potter and Granger were the only ones there, right next to Weasley’s bed. The boy had his eyes closed, if Draco forgot about the bad news, he could imagine that the redhead was just sleeping.

He got closer to look at him. Poor Weasley, on his birthday of all things.

“You can thank your one true love for this.” Potter hissed behind him. Granger reacted faster than Draco, the only thing he could do was coughed because of the boy’s tone.

“Don’t, Harry. This wasn’t Draco’s fault.” Then, the dark-haired boy went from not talking to him, to yell at him, really fast.

“I don’t even have doubts that he was the one who poisoned the Mead. It was a present for Dumbledore, you know?” His green eyes were livid, he was so angry with him. The petals were hurting the blond boy, and he couldn’t help but to cough again. That only seemed to make things worst. “Nott is trying to murder a person, Ron got poisoned in the process and what do you do?? You just cough those fucking flowers.”

The tears started to form on Draco’s eyes. The air was not getting in. Potter always thought that the Hanahaki was a poetic thing, something that spoke deeply about the blond boy’s love. Now, he was looking at him like he was disgusted of the petals that fell from his mouth.

He couldn’t speak. His lungs were burning, the familiar feeling of the daffodils cutting the walls that were keeping them in. He tried to breath but it was impossible.

And he didn’t want to be a burden to Potter. He knew that this was the most ridiculous disease ever, that nobody needed him coughing all over the place. He knew that the petals were ugly when they were covered with his blood. Draco was extremely aware of it all and he didn’t need the love of his life saying that he found him disgusting.

The tears were flowing from his eyes he didn’t know if they were from sadness or from the incredible pain he was experiencing. Draco turned around and coughed his way out of the hospital wing, trying to find somewhere where he could have the bloody coughing fit in peace.

He didn’t get too far, just the nearest bathroom, and soon enough Granger appeared. She casted some privacy spells around them, before sitting with him on the floor. Draco was surprise that she didn’t even care that this was the boys’ bathroom.

She waited for the blond boy to stop coughing; maybe between the coughs, she would vanish the petals that were lying on the floor.

“Are you better? Do you need your potions?” Draco shook his head, he hated those, they made him nauseous.

“I’m okay.” His voice came out rough. “You can go back to Ron, Granger.”

“Hermione.” The girl answered. “I call you Draco, you should call me by my name too.”

He understood why Weasley loved her. She was passionate about things and about the people she cared about... It was amazing that the blond boy was now one of those people.

“I’m sorry.” The girl looked at him with confused eyes. “For calling you that word. I’m sorry.” He said in a low voice.

Then, the girl smiled at him, kind eyes on her face.

“I don’t care anymore, Draco... But thank you for apologizing, I appreciate it.” He did a short nod and looked away.

They kept sitting there in silence for a while until the girl spoke again.

“I’m sure Ron already told you... But sometimes Harry just gets like this. I know it’s hard to see it now because you two are fighting, but really, you shouldn’t feel responsible for his own anger: that’s on him.” Draco looked at her curious, waiting for her to keep talking. “In third year Sirius sent him a Firebolt and we didn’t know that he was innocent yet. I was worried so I gave the broom to McGonagall... I think we didn’t talk for like two months or so. Maybe more, I don’t even want to remember.” Draco chuckled until he saw the girl’s face.

“You are not kidding...”

“No.” Draco snorted.

“What a prat, Merlin.” This time it was Hermione the one who laughed.

“Indeed.” She said as he looked at him. “So, believe us when we say that this will pass.”

Draco could only nod again.

————————

He was having an internal debate about if he should confront Theodore or not. He had been acting really weird this couple of weeks and Draco just couldn’t forget what Potter had said.

He checked if the rest of the boys were sleep before going to the brunette’s bed. Draco opened the curtains to let himself in and shut them quickly behind him.

“What do you think you are doing?” The boy hissed as he took his wand to cast a muffliato. Draco only glared at him.

“Was it you?”

“I don’t even know what you are talking about, Malfoy.” The blond boy grabbed his arm to get his attention.

“Don’t do that. I asked you a question, Theodore.”

The hazel eyed boy looked at him, intensely; eyes full of mixed emotions. He removed his arm from Draco’s grip and slowly began to roll up his sleeve.

And there it was. The dark mark clashed with his white skin. Theodore’s arm looked corrupted and Draco wanted to cry from the impotence he felt. He looked at the hazel-eyed again.

“Why would you do this to yourself?Don’t you see? The Dark Lord is going to loose in the long run, and you are going to live the life that our fathers lived. Your children will be called the same disgusting things that they called us.”

He knew that Theo would be get angry but he didn’t care. He needed to understand.

“Not everyone can just runaway like you or your precious cousin. It’s just my father and me, what was I supposed to do?” And Draco lost his cool at that.

“<cite> Maybe</cite> you could try not to poison my friend in a lousy attempt to kill the headmaster.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “Do you realize that killing someone is going to change you forever? You will remember it for the rest of your life. Its’s not a fucking game, Theo.”

And that just made him really angry.

“I sure fucking hope that Potter remembers for the rest of his life that he killed you, so yes. I’m fucking aware of what is going to happen, Draco.”

The tears started to form in his eyes.

“Don’t fucking blame him for this.”

“Why the fuck not? I hate him. He doesn’t even deserves half of what you have done for him.” The boy hissed.

“He doesn’t know. No one does.” Theo looked confused, he raised one eyebrow.

“Who do they think it is?” Draco looked away, uncomfortable. He didn’t know how the brunette would react.

“You.” He said in a low voice.

There was a moment of silence, the blond boy was too scare of looking at him. Then he heard Theodore’s laughter.

“My my, how the tables have turn. Let me guess, he is fucking pissed about it.” The hazel-eyed boy asked with a smirk. Draco blushed and rolled his eyes.

“We were talking about something that’s actually important, Theodore.”

And the boy just looked at him with pained eyes.

“There is little that I wouldn’t do for you.” The boy sighed and laid on his bed. “Sadly, this is one of them.”

Draco felt so fucking sad, he knew that Theodore would regret this. He felt the brunette grabbing his hand, guiding him to lie next to him. The blond boy followed and put his head on the pillow, looking at him.

“I’m sorry about Weasley. He seems decent, makes you laugh.” Draco nodded and smiled at him.

They stayed in silence for a while. Theodore rolled down his sleeve and then he said:

“Can we forget about this shit just for a while?... I missed this.”

And how could Draco say no to him? His hazel eyes looking right at him, begging for at least some peace in the middle of this martyrdom...

“Yes. Now shut up and let me sleep, Theo.

—————

The next morning, when Draco gather all his courage to go see Ron at the infirmary, he was already awake and beaming when the blond boy crossed the door. Potter and Granger were beside him, like the day before. The Gryffindor girl looked quite happy too... Potter on the other hand looked even angrier than the day before.

He walked towards them, smiling at Weasley.

“It’s good to see you awake. How are you feeling?” He asked.

“Oh, Who cares?? I mean I’m fine. But how are you feeling?” The redhead answered with an excited face. Draco frowned.

“Ron, shut the hell up.” Potter hissed at him, and the weasel rolled his eyes.

“What? I’m just asking.”

“I don’t think I’m following, weasel. You are the one at the hospital-“ But his friend interrupted him.

“But you spent the night with Nott!”

Draco blushed instantly, frowning at Weasley. Then, he turned to look at the rest of the golden trio; Potter was glaring at Ron and Hermione was looking at him, waiting for an answer. He stuttered a response.

“Ho-How the fuck do you know that?? And I- It wasn’t like that, I just was talking with him about something and fell sleep.”

“After he put Ron in the fucking hospital?” Potter hissed at him. He fought to keep the petals down.

“You have no proof of that, Oh Chosen One. Besides: it’s my life. I don’t know how the hell you spied on me, but back off. You can’t ignore my existence and then do this shit.” The green-eyed boy crossed his arms and lowered his gaze to the floor as he responded.

“Zabini told us. He was here before you got here.” The blond boy snorted.

He even had the audacity of lying to him. Did he think that Draco was stupid?

“You might try to lie to me a little better, Potty. Blaise had never batted an eyelash about me spending the night with Theodore. And he would most definitely not tell you about it, after the way you been treating me lately.”

The dark-haired boy was staring at him, dumbfounded. His eyes were a little angry, maybe he was pissed off about Draco catching him in his lies. Then he turned to look at the other two thirds of the Golden Trio.

“So? Is somebody going to tell me the truth?” He asked in annoyance. The three of them kept silent. “Fine, whatever.”

And he left the infirmary, fucking livid.

[obaewankenope]

loved the absconding with harry update!!!! hc question: in CoS we saw harry *almost* get hurt by the basilisk and gets saved at the last minute - how would crowley and aziraphale respond if harry did get seriously hurt by something - on the one hand they can heal him without much trouble, but on the other hand that's gotta be terrifying, especially w how fragile humans are

Oh thank you nonnie! I'm glad you liked it!

That's actually a really good question! As I mentioned earlier in the series, some of their miracles might not work on Harry because of his magic. As a growing child with unharnessed magical ability (even as a student learning to harness it), the effect a miracle used to make Harry not notice them arguing could backfire in any number of ways if Harry's own magic dislikes the miracle. Although their miracles affect reality, magic is an aspect that isn't like the base plane that non-magicals live on. So whilst a regular person wouldn't really think much on it if they were miracled to not notice Aziraphale and Crowley bellowing in the street at each other, a magical person would know something isn't right and not be sure as to what.

Harry is magical so he definitely would know but wouldn't know how to handle it. Which is where the unharnessed magical ability comes in and could see him lashing out or something else.

Now considering that Crowley and Aziraphale don't much give any fucks for any of the adults in the magical world since they're all fucking moronic, they use miracles left and right on people like Fudge and Dumbledore etc. They're also in control of their magic so there's very little risk involved in miracling them to a rock in the middle of the Irish Sea (funny as fuck though) and Dumbledore ending up in space instead (oh but I wish). There's always a risk, of course, but since the miracles Aziraphale and Crowley use are close enough to magic proper... It doesn't really ping as a big enough risk for either of them to avoid miracles.

They perform miracles on the other kids too but those miracles are also very clear and direct. We don't see the way they envision the miracles, only the result, but like Crowley in second year when he wishes wrong for a split second, they use their imagination and can imagine the outcome if they so wish.

Because Harry is a trauma kid, he's much more prone to reacting to even the most slight miracle if his magic perceives it as a threat. But with Crowley and Aziraphale, he trusts them, so again the risk is less than if he didn't trust them.

And all of this affects how Harry would handle being injured by the basilisk and Crowley and Aziraphale treating him. Now, because Crowley was Raphael and a healer before he Fell, his miracles are... Not more suited to healing, but certainly it's easier for him to perform healing miracles without as many side effects as, say, Aziraphale.

So. Consider:

Harry gets, shall we say, bitten by the basilisk? It's not quite so severe a bite in terms of where it is, just the arm. But there's the venom and the anti-coagulation factor of the venom means he's bleeding fast and the venom is quickly affecting him.

Crowley is busy with the basilisk, absolutely fucking slamming it into the ground for daring to attack His Son! That leaves Aziraphale to handle Harry and that's not exactly... Ideal.

Now, Aziraphale isn't Weak by anyone's standards except Gabriel's, but Gabriel is a dick so we ignore him. But Aziraphale isn't a healer. That wasn't his speciality, it wasn't why he was made. He's got a nice flaming sword and no, that's not a euphemism, and can kill demons if so requested. But healing? Well. Takes a bit more nuance and skill with imagination than Aziraphale has, though it's still far more than almost any other angel and demon except Crowley. Obviously.

So Harry has Aziraphale to help him. Aziraphale who has very little idea of how healing is supposed to work but knows without a shadow-of-a-doubt that Harry needs to be healed Now. Or else there won't be anymore Harry. Can't have that now, can we?

The noise of Crowley beating the absolute shit out of a rather crazy basilisk is, naturally, distracting, but not so much as to really take Aziraphale away from the Important Healing Thing Right Here.

"Yo-you should get the o-others out," Harry gasps, looking at Aziraphale with wide, frightened eyes that do nothing to persuade Aziraphale to do that at all. "G-get them safe."

"And leave you here? Heavens no, never!" Aziraphale says and he's firm about it because, no, he's not leaving Harry behind. Not even if the basilisk was bearing down on them and Aziraphale was powerless. He won't leave this child, his child.

Magic and miracles are intertwined, obviously a decision by Her that Aziraphale greatly appreciates at the moment when he reaches out with his essence and probes the wound on Harry's arm.

It's... Not great.

It's rather awful, actually.

"T-that bad?" Harry laughs breathlessly and Aziraphale schools his face to an expression of determined control that few have seem him portray. Harry is the sixth human to see it and by far the most important.

"It—I won't lie, Harry," Aziraphale says, "I'm not the best at healing but you are not going to die here. I promise."

"Believe you," Harry says weakly, head lolling to the side as he grows weaker from the bloodloss and venom killing him. Aziraphale's heart swells at the trust Harry has in him, the faith, and it bolsters the angel's miracle as he presses his hands to the wound and wills the poisonous venom from it.

It resists, the venom, determined to do its nature to the fullest extent but, to Aziraphale, nature is optional, not necessary. Power wrestles with power but they're in different leagues entirely and Aziraphale refuses, refuses to let a bloody snake venom do what it's meant to do to Harry James Potter, the boy who lives in his bookshop. The boy who smiles in unguarded delight when Aziraphale shows him a new book. The child who hugs Aziraphale with honest affection when the angel praises him.

No.

Nothing in this world will take that child from him.

Nothing in heaven, either, he thinks privately, and perhaps it's that thought that finally, finally, pushes the venom into compliance. Maybe.

Harry shakes violently as the venom streams out of the wound on his arm, dispelling into the air with the sort of sickly smell something particularly disgusting has. Like tar from a cigarette. Or fifty of them.

The moment the venom is out of Harry's body, Aziraphale immediately focuses on healing the wound but this is where he encounters problems. The venom was interfering with Harry's magic, making it possible for Aziraphale to perform a miracle with no absolute picture of the end result beyond Venom Be Gone. Now it's out of his system, Aziraphale finds Harry's magic is reacting to his attempts to heal him.

A sharp sting of electricity runs through Aziraphale's body at such an intensity it would probably kill a mortal. As it is, it makes the angel hiss out a pained sound before he chooses to ignore it.

"You're gonna hurt yourself more, angel."

Aziraphale doesn't shriek in surprise at Crowley's voice right next to him but only because he's focused on Harry. He does look up at the demon with a wide-eyed look of surprise that Crowley takes in with burning gold eyes, nods, and pulls Aziraphale's hands away from Harry's arm before replacing them with his own.

"Check the others, I'll fix this, angel," Crowley says and Aziraphale believes him.

He believes Crowley would turn the sun off if it would save Harry no matter how impossible that ought to be either.

Faith is a strong tool indeed but so too is trust.

The strongest of them all is, of course, love, but what demon would ever admit he runs on love to an angel born of it?

Not for a good decade or so at least.

[armada-of-ships-against-antis]

Gush about some of your favorite ships please

Sorry for the long wait, but I think I might be ready for this now. (and before anybody wonders, of course it is in the middle of the night and I should go to bed now! Cause it’s the best time to gush over your ships!)

Okay lets begin with Spirk - man I was raised being a Trekkie and to be honest I never saw the great appeal of Kirk, cause my fucking younger than 10 year old heart already belonged to that vulcan! And I bailed my eyes out when he died! But after Kirk and the crew did everything to bring him back, I was like: Okay Kirk is a good one, okay! Nobody will ever be able to seperate them, only over my dead body. Back then it was more about the friendship but I’ll be dammned if I didn’t become a Spirk shipper some 10 years later when rewatching it. But why stop there, get Bones into the fun, too! Try to provoke that human side of Spock, trigger some unlogical feelings, try to beat him in 3d chess!

Okay bear with me there are three other Star Trek ships I wanna gush about!  I pretty much watched the series in the order they came out, so next was TNG that I saw, and although I loved data to every bit and byte of his android being, I was at a loss for a love interest for him. Okay there is always Geordie I guess or Picard, but TNG never hold a deep appeal for me in that field. So on to DS9. When I saw it as a kid, is was boring shit with all that politics and religion. I was around 18 when I rewatched and then in only the fourth episode I became suddenly aware of how motherfucking much Garak flirted with Julian Bashir! And I fell so deeply in love for their weird dynamic of a young and easily impressible human doctor with a mysterious cardassian spy tailor. I ran around showing scenes with them to people who were not shippers and they agreed, that there was tension. And right there was my first time finding background informations about my ship. It was there! I didn’t just interpret too much!  Andrew Robinson, the actor said himself he thought of Elim Garak as an omnisexual character who had a certain interest in Julian. It was absolutely mindblowing to me (also I started to google what omnisexual meant and found about pansexuality, so this is kinda part of finding my own identity, thanks to the closeted representation of a queer alien in sci-fi show from the 90s)

Okay two more and I’m done with Star Trek. But both are from Voyager. Throughout the series I loved the chemistry between Janeway and Chakotay. The slightly forbidden, the pressure, the loneliness of being captain of a ship so far away she probably would never see her husband again. Tragic shit and so perfect set up.  And then came Seven of Nine and manged to shake things up. Suddenly I was a multi shipper, because I couldn’t decide if she or Chakotay should be with Kathryn. The one was loving, supporting and the other was awkward, learning new things about finding humanity again. One was frowned upon because of their ranks and the other because Seven was still more borg than human in how she behaved. So pretty cold, while also confused a ton of times and Janeway ALWAYS had the time and nerves to explain it to her. Just like the doctor (who speaking between us is also a solid shipping option for Seven!)

Damn I tricked you by forgetting myself, that I did develop a shipping crush on Q x Picard. Damn have you ever seen those two interacting. The cockiness in the room, the mocking tone, the resistance. Have you seen those scenes you could perfectly take out of context and already have a “morning after sex” scenario?

Good now let’s take a deep breath and come to the Harry Potter fandom. Or in my case Severus Snape’s playground to be shipped to literally everybody! If it had Snape in it, I would read Everything during that time. Snarry was my most favourite, followed by Snape x Lucius, Remus, Sirius. But I also was looking into x Hermione, Draco, Lily, James, McGonagall, Dumbledore, Ron, Neville (Oh what a small and angsty ship), Bellatrix, Voldemort, Narcissa, Tonks, hell I even read one with Hagrid! (Okay I admit I didn’t enjoy that). Snape was my shipping bitch. Beside that I was of course loving Sirius x Remus.

Okay we move a tiny bit backwards in my life timeline, because before I started to excessively ship my ship bitch with everybody that was breathing, I had a rare ship in Final Fantasy (VII to be more precisely). Hojo x Vincent. You know just your ordinary crazy, mentally instable old (as in probably 60 years old) mad scientist having his way with a young agent from a special task force who canonly had a love interest in his wife… yeah. You know the totally normal stuff you ship every day!  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  

I mean I also had the regular Cloud x Sephiroth, Cid x Vincent, Cloud x Tifa, Tifa x Aeris, Reno x Rude or Rufus and so on, but hell yeah I wrote one of my longest fanfictions with most of my OCs for Hojo and Vincent and someone commented on it. That person became my fucking best friend for now over 13 years who went with me through so much shit but is still my shipping partner in crime till now.

Together we discovered the movie Megamind and watched it more than 10 times in one week! We were so instantly on board with Megamind x Roxanne that it nearly hurt. And when we started an rpg, we shipped the fuck out of them, gave Minion a mermaid to love and that was the most perfect and sweet shit. They are just adorable! He’s such a goofball, sick with love only hold back because of his supervillain image.

I also met my second girlfriend via fanfiction comment. I had written a smut one shot about Tarrant Hightopp, the mad Hatter with ‘his’ Alice. That was also the first one I attempted to translate into English. When we met for the first time, we also watched Alice in Wonderland around 10 times together and we were in love with the lovely dynamic. We were frustrated when we found out, there was even a kiss in the script that never made it to the fucking screen! It was outrageous! I started to learn how to write a scottish accent and strew in some scottish words in our rpg to make it more authentic.

(And after that I managed to pull her into the pit of the Harry Potter fandom, hell I even pulled her into the pit of shipping mlm which she didn’t like until Snupin. But our main ship was suddenly Snape with her OC and we wrote a lot. Like between 2-8k word for one single post in our rpg! In the end we had enough to fill two books. We did even cosplay as them.)

Let’s get back to the Final Fantasy fandom a bit and let me gush over the other ships I had over the years. I’m still a huge Squall x Quistis shipper from part 8 and Laguna x Kiros! I also have an eye on Cifer x Fu-Jin (hah one eye, cause she has a an eyepatch, urgh I know that was a bad joke). And while I started as a big Auron x Tidus shipper, it shifted more to Auron x Rikku. I shipped them when I was about 15 (her age) and I thought I wasn’t allowed to do that, so I made a whole fucking AU where she was older and it developed into a totally original story of my own, which I have never ever written down even one page). With X-2 I satisfied myself with Paine x Rikku, they were such cute opposites of each other, I couldn’t resist! Only some years ago I played FF 15 and damn it was a shipping paradise again for me. Like all of the four protagonists are a match for each other! And then Ardyn appeared and made me weak in the knees. So Ardyn x Noctis but also just because those the truly most favorite characters: Ardyn x Ignis. Not exactly the fluffy happy stuff, I can tell you that. Manipulation, angst, abuse it had it all.

I can’t talk about Final Fantasy and leave Kingdom Hearts out, so yeah I started as a typical Sora x Riku (not Rikku from FF 10) fangirl and with part 2 I also feel for Axel x Roxas. I know, I know but at least with Organisation 13 you had a whole bunch of shippable characters. Just make one or two of them your shipping bitch, in my case Xemnas and Xigbar and ship the shit out those guys with everybody you can think of in the organisation.

And when we are already talking about Kingdom Hearts, I just jump into Disney a bit. Like every girls dream was to find their prince, ect and I was like: yeah Mulan and Shan Yu seem to fit nicely… Frollo is a fucking ass creep, but damn that scene in the cathedral when he sniffs Esmeraldas hair… Jasemine you look good in that red slave outfit for Jafar to be honest and dear Adam, you should have stayed a beast for Belle. Happy ruining your childhood. You’re welcome. :D Not that I shiped those during seeing those movies the first time, but you know I rewatch stuff!

Good okay let’s check the watch… good 1 hour later…. I’m not gonna finish this any time soon…. I’m sorry. I just tried to make a list of ships that seem important to me and I would probably write another hour or two. I just hope this satisfies you for the moment ;)

If you or anybody else wants to hear about more video game, movies or series ships and me writing an essay about that shit… feel free to ask I guess LMAO

Good Night dear people (or maybe not I see 15 messages on my dash)

[booksaresacredspew]

You know what I love in stories, but never get enough of? Ppl who’ve fucked up getting learning the error of their ways. And being complicated people while doing it. Not just the regular villains. You see villains getting the redemption arcs and “misunderstood and misguided but working to be better now” shit all the time, in canon and in fic. But then there’s the ppl in charge of the good guys who also fuck up, and often get bashed in fic. And I don’t disagree that they deserve it in those stories.

But the thing is, so often I see these characters who are nominally on the side of good but who have fucked up so much, when their bullshit is pointed out to them, simply ignore it or rationalize it away. They keep to their narrow mindsets they’ve constructed, and make the other characters, the “true heroes” out to be the bad guys in their minds. Forcing the heroes to just steamroll over them, sidelining them or completely destroying them. And this works for the stories, because we get a secondary antagonist who is thoroughly put down and shamed, and that’s all well and good.

But what I want is for them to see and understand. I want them to get that they’ve fucked up, and start to try to change. Life is boring if ppl are static, it’s disappointing when people don’t learn from their mistakes. But life is beautiful when people grow from their experiences, and strive to be better.

Examples. Dumbledore is a common scapegoat, because damn a lot of his decisions in canon were hella sketchy. Placing Harry with the Dursleys, number one. Abuse, physical or mental, and unarguable neglect happened in that house. Especially when one considers the new stuff about Obscurials and what Dumbles knew about them, this decision is... shall we say, highly questionable. However, I still believe that Albus was simply a man who tried to do the right thing and made a mistake. Many mistakes, really. I think that he was probably really, deathly scared for Harry’s life right after Voldy hit the wind. And he didn’t know the full extent of Petunia’s hatred. For all we know, his last knowledge of Petunia was that she sent a letter to him after Lily got hers, wanting to be allowed into Hogwarts. And considering that Lily’s protection of Harry was powered by her love for him (or that’s how Dumbles explains it), if the blood relatives he was placed with had loved him it probably would have been even more powerful. The most powerful protection ever. Dumbledore had every reason to hope like hell that Petunia’s love for her sister would carry over to her son. That it didn’t, and Harry was not treated well as a result, Dumbledore probably regretted to and beyond his grave. But by the time he was aware of it (we’re ignoring for now Mrs. Figg and how he didn’t seem to check up on Harry enough) and able to do something, Voldemort had made an appearance for the first time in a decade, and that blood protection was obviously still needed.

And I’m getting off track, sorry. So I see a lot of fics where Dumbles gets bashed. Sometimes he’s made out to be a lot more manipulative, and sometimes outright evil, than I think he was in canon. And I go along with it, because dang he made a lot of sketchy decisions, not just the one I mentioned before, and it is believable he could have done even more sketchy stuff. But in the ones where he’s not quite evil, just misguided and Machiavellian, he almost never really gets to repent and change. Like he just keeps on doing dumb shit while the heroes of the fic do stuff behind his back and resent him, and at some point he gets yelled at for his shit. And maybe he blinks a bit at this outburst, but more often than not he then starts trying to talk down to the person yelling, like they’re the dumb ones and he knows best and they should listen to him. Like he hasn’t learned anything at all from the beatdown. And it just isn’t as satisfying to have someone give verbal destruction to a guy who deserves it if said guy doesn’t even seem to take it in, you know? I want a misguided good person, who when the heroes give them hell for all the shit they’ve pulled, sits down and has a good think about what the heroes said, realizing they maybe had a point, and then feels bad about it and tries to make up for it. That would be much more satisfying.

Another example I see a lot of is in Avengers fic? Like Civil War, I hate Civil War, because many of the fix-its are on Team Tony, and that’s great, I love Tony, I love Tony-centric fics, it’s awesome. But here’s the thing: I also love Steve. And many Tony-centric stories tend to vilify Steve. And I can handle it, especially since a lot of his actions and those of the rest of the team in canon can be interpreted as not-so-good especially where Tony’s concerned. But, but but. That’s not who Steve is. He’s the guy who wants to do the right thing, who hates bullies. He’d be horrified at the thought that he’d turned into one. And in a lot of fics that’s exactly what he is. And Tony’s not 100% perfect, either. Plus there were miscommunications on both sides of that clusterfuck, which didn’t help. I want a fix-it where they’re both kind of right, and both kind of wrong, and the ending of Civil War in Siberia never happened because what the fuck. What the actual fuck, anyway.

So, a challenge: Bash the characters, sure. You see something they did was problematic and you want to call them out on it? Go ahead. But then have them realize and understand what they did wrong, and work to fix it. Points if you show them as complicated individuals who had valid reasonings for what they did, and were right about a couple of things even though they were wrong on a lot. Bonus points if they point out (or the hero realizes) how the hero also fucked up a bit here and there. Because people are dumb, and people are narrow-minded and petty and can get caught in circular reasoning and all sorts of things. But people can change. They grow and learn and they strive to be better in all things. And that’s what makes life beautiful.

[hufflepuffmarlenemckinnon]

Quacks in the Night part 1/2

A Blackinnon Raise Harry AU installation

Word count: 2k+

A/N: This was written for my best friend when she was having a hard time. She hates Umbridge and loves my use of overwrought prose as humor. There are also ducks. So many ducks. I put it up online and it’s gotten really nice feedback (it even got featured on a podcast!) so I thought I’d share it here too.

Part 1

Sirius woke to the sounds of his wife, Marlene, readying herself for the day. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary until he noted that the sun hadn’t yet risen. Neither of the Blacks were early risers.

Shit.

As he regained consciousness, the memory of last night’s letter came back to him in flashes. Harry. Lines written with a black quill to the point his hand retained scars. Umbridge…

His poor godson was being persecuted even further. Didn’t the boy have enough to worry about? Was a Dark Lord attempting (and possibly succeeding, Sirius didn’t quite understand the particulars) to get inside his head not enough for one 15 year old to deal with?

He felt sick over what the cruel professor had done to Harry. No small amount of anger burned in his chest, but it was Marlene who was the real threat this time. Sirius had written to Dumbledore immediately and was going through the more conventional process of getting this witch sacked. But Marlene looked ready to hang the wretch up by her toes the minute she put down the letter.

Reckless. Irresponsible. Impulsive.

Those were some of the various words that had been used to describe the Blacks, both as a couple and as individuals. It wasn’t an entirely inaccurate assessment, but Sirius contended they had other, more important traits.

Sirius would have given an eyeball to keep Marlene or Harry from getting a scratch. He’d die to protect his family. He felt sick with worry when they took unnecessary risks.

None of the little family mustered much regard for authority. Following orders was not a very Noble and Most Ancient House of Black (such that it was) thing to do. So he shouldn’t have been surprised that Marlene was trying to sneak out of their flat before Sirius woke. It all added up.

He’d told her he didn’t want her to go confront Umbridge.

She was of course, not going to listen.

She knew he’d worry himself sick so she wanted to spare him that as much as she could.

He was still confused, after all these years, how he could simultaneously feel as angry as an insulted hippogriff and yet more in love with her than the day they were wed. It was disconcerting. He really never got used to it.

He rolled over in bed and got an eye full of Marlene, fresh out of the shower.

“You can’t just go attack people as a duck, Marlene.”

“Hide and watch.”

She pulled on her clothing in haste. The fact she’d hoped he would sleep through her departure was better left unacknowledged. He was up now. She finished with her buttons and zippers then leaned down to kiss Sirius, who was still sprawled out on the bed.

“I’ll do no such thing! You’re going to get yourself arrested.”

“I will not. I have a plan. It’s going to get me written into history books as a great hero. The most heroic of all ducks.”

“You know it’s deeply concerning when you say things like that.”

Marlene smiled mischievously at her distractingly gorgeous husband. His body was a familiar sight now, but it was still an effort to hold back when he reached out to pull her back into bed. She wasn’t falling for it. She was a woman with a mission. Not even an exceedingly handsome distraction was going to keep her from it.

Sirius conceded. He’d used the last of the tools at his disposal and knew better than to argue with his wife over her ill advised revenge plot any further. She was out for blood. It was probably safer for her to go in animagus form than to unleash her on Umbridge with a wand. How much damage could a tiny duck really do? They couldn’t throw her in Azkaban for aggressively quacking at the horrible little ministry toad.

Marlene had never balked at a task she believed in because of a few rules standing in the way. From the moment she saw her Harry’s most recent letter home, she knew that a little rule breaking would be necessary. She’d prefer to break Dolores Umbridge’s neck. But she really didn’t like her odds for getting away from that scot free.

Her godson had written straight away after the detention he served with the piss poor excuse for a Defense Against the Dark Arts the ministry had inflicted upon Hogwarts. More accurately, he had his dear friend Hermione draft a letter for him because the child couldn’t even hold a quill after the sadistic punishment that vile toad had subjected him to.

Marlene had never carried a child of her body. She hadn’t been averse to the idea, but it didn’t look like it was in the cards. The world had not gotten itself in good enough shape at any point in the past 13 years for her to consider bringing a helpless and innocent baby into it.

For most of that time, she’d been focused on raising Harry. No one ever mistook her for his mum. He didn’t look a thing like her. The white child with perennially messy black hair still held the title of “son” deep in Marlene Black’s heart. She knew that her husband felt the same. It was their lot in life to avoid the subject.

It was not their lot in life to let amoral education interloping ministry worshipping scum get away with using a torture device on their boy. Surely a pen that drew blood from the back of the hand that held it would be considered a dark object? It had to be illegal.

But she was Cornelius Fudge’s personal arse licker, so there was no way she’d be held to any consequences on that front.

Marlene’s blood was boiling. It was reprehensible to use such an object on any child. But that child was HERS and Marlene was going to give the monster a dose of her own medicine.

Becoming an animagus was the best decision Marlene Black, who was still Marlene McKinnon back then, had ever made. It saved her life. It gave her her time to get that life back when she might not have survived the grief otherwise. It gave her a career.

It gave her the power to fuck with people who needed fucking with.

Marlene found the local duck population to be very sociable and never hesitate to lend a hand. Or a webbed foot and a wing.

Though the regular ducks had some sense that she wasn’t really like them, they were friendly to her. Since Marlene was actually a bright and resourceful witch in a little duck body, she was able to impress the local flocks fairly easily.

She had an army of roughly 300 ducks by mid day. Dolores J. Umbridge was going to get it.

Her duck army had one very important human ally in one Minerva McGonagall. Minerva had talked to Marlene over the floo late into the night. She agreed to create a reason for Umbridge to be called out to the Quidditch Pitch at half four.

She wouldn’t make it to the Quidditch Pitch.

Just past the womping willow a small golden-brown mallard hen commanded from behind her legion. The moment she spotted the little pink blob approaching she let out a loud quack.

She imagined herself screaming “CHAAARGE!” and that made it more satisfying.

The sound of webbed feet slapping the ground mixed with quacks of excitement were deafening. She watched as the flock ambushed the so-called professor.

Umbridge’s first reaction, confusion, showed plainly on her face. But the water-fowl battalion gave her no leeway in time to digest her surroundings.

Her surroundings, at that point, were ducks on every side, encircling her and closing in.

She let loose a high pitched and very undignified shriek.

Good. Scream you evil hag. You don’t mess with my Harry.

Marlene was mainly an observer of the event from the back and side of the action, rather than a participant. She’d planned it so that she’d minimize the risk of being identified by her markings. She was one of the most well known Animagus in the country, but no one could recognize a duck from the corner of their eye in flock of hundreds of other similar looking ducks.

The front lines had already closed in on Umbridge's ankles before she managed to throw a shield up.

Her shield faltered. Marlene quaked out another command, and the flock took flight with gusto straight into the horrible toad of a woman. Dolores Umbridge’s hair would probably never recover. She’d find stray feathers on her person for weeks. She would hear quacks in the night and shiver with fear.

Marlene’s work here was done.

[simonssnow]

CARRY ON COUNTDOWN DAY 16 - CROSSOVER DAY

Part two of my Hogwarts au fic that you can find here. Today I learnt I don’t know how to write kissing scenes! Yay! Sorry for the trash, I was rushed. @alltoowheeler @carryon-countdown

BAZ
Our faces are millimetres apart, and I think he’s going to kiss me, his lips begin to part and his eyes begin to close, but then I jump back away from him when I hear the door open. I whip my head around to see Teddy standing in the door way with a grin in his face. He’s changed his hair colour from his usual turquoise blue to a light pinky-red colour. He’s up to something.

He sees the tears on my face and the grin immediately fades, he knows why so he doesn’t ask questions.

‘Hey uh, Baz you ready to go now?’

'I’m going alone,’ I say it to both of them. I don’t want Snow following me after what just almost happened, and I’m a little bit upset that it only almost happened, even though I was the one who jumped away. I storm away from the room and head to my destination.

SIMON 
After Baz leaves the room Teddy smiles apologetically at me, and it’s clear that he’s not really that sorry. I feel too awkward now but luckily he changes the subject.

'So, uh I think Headmaster David wants Harry and you to have another session, Harry’s coming down.’

Teddy’s godfather has been giving me lessons one being a chosen one, well because he was the last chosen one. Teddy’s Godfather is Harry Potter. Headmaster David was the one to come up with the idea and said that the lessons were the best way for me to learn.

'Uh yeah, tonight,’ I try to reply as naturally as possible, I start walking out with a random book in my hand, 'see ya.’

I don’t have anymore classes today, so I don’t really know why I pretended to get a book. I should probably follow Baz, see what he’s up to, I’m about to go to the Forbidden Forest (that’s where he usually goes) but then I remember what we were talking about before.

His Mother.

I realise that he’s rpribably going to visit her grave and that he wants to go alone. I should leave him be. I turn around and start heading to the Room of Requirement, may as well start training.

TEDDY
After both the boys are gone I race through the castle and head to the library, I need to find Penelope, and if she’s not in the library she’s in her common room, which subsequently will be harder to get into. Lucky for me I was right, she’s sitting at one of the library desks, quill in hand and head in book.

I walk over to her table, and she must be in deep thought because she doesn’t look up when I reach her. I crouch down so that my head is level with hers, I’m quite a tall bloke, and clear my throat. With that she looks up and for a second she blushes.

'So for the plan I was thin-’ She starts but then I cut her off.

'Ah Penelope, no need for a big master plan now, for what I just witnessed will change our lives forever,’ I say in my most dramatic voice.

'What ever do you mean?’ She mocks

'I just saw our little love birds getting quite close to each other!’

'Wait did they…..?’ She leads on.

'Well no, they were about to kiss though! But then I walked in on them and yeah.’

'So you’re saying that we just need-’

'Need to get them alone together,’ I finish for her

'Teddy Lupin you are a genius!’ She exclaims

BAZ
Sometimes it’s nice here in the cemetery, on occasion I’ll come here and just sit near Mothers grave.

The Hogwarts Cemetery is an island where the people who died on school grounds are buried, after The Battle of Hogwarts it became very full. Of course if the family requested, the body could be buried somewhere else, but my Mother loved this school so much she wouldn’t have wanted to be buried anywhere else. I’m in the Headmasters section, along my Mother, Albus Dumbledore, Severus Snape and a few other old Headmasters are here.

I’ve replaced the old flowers with blossoming new ones, I could have just used a spell but this feels more significant and personal to get real ones.

As I’m just standing by the grave a small barn owl flies over to me with a small note tied to its foot, I take the note and hand the owl a Knut, as the owl flies away I wonder who the hell sent me a note. I open it and read it, it’s from Teddy and says:

meet me in the Room of Requirement at 8 
- Teddy

SIMON
I actually quite enjoy my sessions with Harry, not only does it help me but we’re actually pretty good friends, he and I are really similar actually, both had a shitty childhood where we grew up not knowing about magic, both orphans, both have had a bullshit prophecy forced upon us, along with the weight of saving the wizard world on our shoulders. The war part is almost the exact same, except he fought Voldemort and I’m (trying) to fight the Humdrum.

I’m a big distracted today, for fair reasons though.

We’re working on sword fighting techniques, he’s got the Sword of Gryffindor and I’ve just got a regular sword the Room of Requirement provided, I tried to use Gryffindor’s sword once but it would let me, the sword burnt my hand if tried to use it, Harry says that it’s because I’m not a Gryffindor.

I’m pretty good with swords, it’s just the spells and actual magic that I’m shit at. While we’re practicing, someone opens the door and walks through, we both turn around to see Teddy standing there with an apologetic look, his hair back to its normal turquoise.

‘Hey Harry, can I talk to you for a few minutes?’

‘Sure Ted, you can take a break Simon, you did well today,’ he says while giving me a pat on the back. Harry’s not exactly like a father to me, but I definitely look up to him.

BAZ

It’s 7:58 but I have nothing better to do besides wallow in sadness so I’m at the room of requirement a little bit early.

Luckily for me the doors open a little bit, I walk in and the room it’s designed to look like a training room, why’s it like this? Usually if me and Teddy meet here it’s not like this.

I walk in slightly more confused than before and call out his name, someone does come, but it’s not him.

It’s Snow.

Of course it’s designed like a training room, cause he’s doing his special training thing with Teddy’s Godfather.

‘Baz?’ He asks

For once I don’t know what to say, so I just reply with, ‘Snow.’

‘Wha-What are you doing here? I’m supposed to be training.’

‘Well I’m supposed to be meeting Teddy,’ I respond in the same a-matter-fact tone.

‘Teddy? He just came here and asked to speak to Harry,’ he responds confusedly.

‘Wait Snow, did you write that note to me?’

‘Note? What note?’

He actually seems really confused, he’s too thick to be that good an actor so I know it’s not him.

‘Well since he’s not here, I’m leaving.’

‘Wait no Baz! Don’t leave yet,’ he says quickly, we’re both avoiding each other’s eyes.

‘Look, about what happened before, I’ll understand if you think I’m some weirdo, but I just want you to know that I’m sorry.’

I want to tell him that he shouldn’t be sorry, that I want it to actually happen next time, that I want there to be a next time, but I don’t tell him that, he probably never wants that to happen again. If I say that I’ve been in love with him since fifth year and that I’ve wanted to kiss him for probably longer, he’ll freak out and think I’m some sort of pervert.

‘Snow, don’t be sorry, just don’t talk abo-‘ he cuts me off.

‘Don’t finish that sentence because if you do I’ll never have the courage to do what I’m about to do.’ He says with a determined and slightly scared face.

What I don’t expect him to do is walk straight up to me and cup my face with his hands, but that’s exactly what he does, I should have learnt by now to never underestimate Simon Snow.

He’s looking into my eyes, head slightly tilted up, and his blue eyes look scared but sure at the same time. He moves forward to kiss me but I finish the movement and meet him halfway - so he knows that I want this too.

At first the kiss is soft and unsure, but then after we’re both sure the other won’t pull away or stop, it’s more certain and passionate, I deepen it by running my hands through his golden curls, I’ve wanted to do this for a long time.

When we break apart, both smiling, and out of breath, our foreheads leaning against each other.

‘Simon I-‘

As soon as I said his name his face lit up as if I gave him a whole plate of sour cherry scones. He kisses me hard and quick.

‘You called me Simon,’ he says panting, ‘you’ve never called me Simon.’

‘Is that okay?’ I ask

‘It’s wonderful,’ he almost whispers, and then he takes me by the neck and kisses me again.

TEDDY

I was right, and I told Harry that Headmaster wanted to talk to him.

As we stick our heads through the slightly opened door, we smile at we see, and give each other a high-five. We walk away silently, and give them some privacy.

[two-friends-read-hp]

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE: Hermione’s Secret

Good God Snape, can you stop being obsessed with revenge for five minutes?

Well since Snape treats any other student like shit, yes you could say he treats Harry like any other student

Aww look at that, for the first time, all three of them are in the hospital wing together

What is the remedy for facing a dementor for someone who really doesn’t like chocolate?

Lol, Madame Pomfrey just stuffing chocolate into Harry’s mouth to shut him up and then shoving him into bed is hilarious, sorry Harry

Poppy Pomfrey is a nice name

I wonder what compelled Dumbledore to go to Harry and Hermione to fix this, like, what made him believe Sirius? Did Sirius turn into a dog to show him the truth? That if he’s an unregistered Animagus, then the possibility of Pettigrew being one is also high? Did the expression of grief or remorse on Sirius’ face convince Dumbledore? Will we ever know?

I cannot believe that Hermione, the brightest witch of her age, just FORGOT she had a device that could manipulate time… I get that a lot of stuff happened tonight, but like, when she was lying in the hospital bed at least, couldn’t she have remembered? Was she panicking too much to remember? Ok, I’ll give her that… she is only human, and also a child

Oh snap, they went from the hospital wing to the deserted entrance hall… but how? Does it take you back to where you last were at that specific time? Isn’t that bad for when you’re trying not to get caught by your other self?

Wooow, so all that stuff happened within three hours?? They weren’t passed out for too long I guess, or all that other stuff happened pretty quick and they were passed out for a couple of hours

I love how Dumbledore had full faith that they’d pull off this insane plan… I suppose he literally had no other option, and he himself couldn’t do it

Gosh, I wonder how many times Hermione has done third year then… that’s basically what this means right? Going back in time and re-using the same hours

I love this Harry Hermione quality time adventure… this is actually one of the things that made me think that they were going to end up together lol

The map of Hogwarts that they provided at the start of the book is proving itself very handy now

Lol yeah, I still don’t know how they pulled off the Buckbeak rescue thing, especially since they had to wait for the ministry people to see that Buckbeak was tied outside ‘...”That gives us about sixty seconds,”...’ lol

OH, I just realised! What if Dumbledore already saw them saving Buckbeak? So maybe that’s how he knew that they were meant to be the ones to follow through with this plan!

Wait a minute… if he saw them he’d have just assumed that it’s the regular Harry and Hermione, not the future ones… ah let’s continue and see if we find any more clues

Wow, the stakes are really high with this time-turner… people have ended up accidentally killing their past/future selves! And McGonagall gave it to Hermione! I know she’s smart and responsible and all… but she’s also thirteen

OK, IT’S TIME GUYS! GO GO GO

I can’t believe I never noticed that the executioner’s name is Walden… that’s such a dumb name lol

OH OK! So Dumbledore saw that Buckbeak escaped somehow and when he found out what happened at the lake, he realised something was up and it probably had something to do with the time-turner! So that’s what convinced him… things that had already happened

It’s very difficult to wrap my head around it lol… how have people with time-turners not gone crazy? Why didn’t McGonagall just tell Hermione that she couldn’t choose all the subjects and had to just make up her mind already? Especially considering the amount of energy she’d have to use

Aww this time they could hear Hagrid’s words through the sobs

‘... Hagrid, I could do with a cup of tea. Or a large brandy…’ LOL I like that they used the same words for the movie

Gasp! Harry thought he saw his dad? His dad who is dead? But… how can that be?? Dun dun duuuuun

Harry kept beating around the bushes before he finally told Hermione he thought he saw his dad for good reason because then Hermione reacted with alarm and pity

I always feel sad when he’s trying to explain to Hermione that he’d seen photos of his father and the person at the lake looked like his father

Aww… he’s  so hopeful that he could’ve seen his dad

We learn so much about James in this book

Ok so they were in the tree for over an hour, that means they were passed out for a fairly short time, how long are people usually passed out for?

TGFH

Oh… I see... They had to do it before Sirius was given up to the dementors because if they knew that he was gone, they’d have failed the mission, so they had to go back in time before that happened so that they could have a chance of saving him… does that make sense? Like, they didn’t know what the outcome was going to be, and with that in mind, they were basically free to do whatever they could to save him because they didn’t know if they were going to fail or not. With Buckbeak, Dumbledore knew they’d succeeded, and keeping that in mind, he had to tell them to save Sirius too before he accompanied Fudge to give Sirius up to the dementors… I get it now

I suppose the takeaway here is that whatever you decide to do now, that’s what matters the most

OH WOW OK, so I guess I keep remembering the movie and forgetting the book lol, they absolutely avoided a terrible fate with the werewolf very quickly there… good thinking Harry

Oh yeah… whoever had sent that Patronus is going to show up soon!

GUYS GET READY IT’S THE BEST PART

Here it is, he’s waiting for someone to come, waiting for someone to save him, but no one’s coming...

Oh? He’d seen himself you say? And he mistook himself for his father??

The only person that could save him, was himself… it’s a lesson that we are stronger than we think and able to overcome more than we know, it’s such an important lesson!

I also love that Hermione was like, “don’t do the thing I told you not to do” and then he does exactly that lol, I suppose it’s what saved him and he’s lucky that he’d basically passed out, so he didn’t see exactly who saved him, but also he realised that he’d already seen himself do it so it was instrumental in a way?

It was a stag? Interesting…

Prongs!

I like that they didn’t tell us what James’ animal form was earlier… finding out this way is infinitely better

And in a way, his father did save him through himself

Oooh, about to get ripped apart by Hermione!

It must’ve been really hard to knock on the window while Buckbeak was flying

I like how Sirius is at a loss for words and they’re just like, ‘can you hurry up and escape already? THEY ARE GOING TO KILL YOU SIRIUS! Jeez!’ LOL

I also like that Sirius asked about Ron… aww

They did it!

Chapter 22

[mysticflames]

Anpanman - BTS Lyric Breakdown

Okay so I love this song more than life itself. It might be itching to beat out my all time favourite song which has held strong for just under a decade now (Saltwater Room by Owl City for the curious) and I just had to do a lyric break down for my own piece of mind.

Disclaimer: I don’t know Korean at all or Korean culture. I have some (read: a lot) of interest in Japanese culture (since I’m moving there in 17 days aaah). Mostly this lyric breakdown is the meaning I found in the words. If there is something I’m missing from not being aware of Korean culture PLEASE LET ME KNOW. I would love to add understanding. <3

Bold is Lyrics, normal is my commentary.

TL;DR: Anyone can be a hero, even if you need a hero yourself. 

Anpanman

Waiting for you Anpanman Waiting for you Anpanman

Okay, let’s stop here. Anpanman. My North American equivalent here is like Captain Underpants. Anpanman is a child geared superhero. He literally has bread for a head. He has let starving children bite his head and then gotten his head replaced. He’s not weak per say, but he’s not this crazy all power hero. He is kind and genuinely wanting to better the world at any cost to himself. The idea of using Anpanman, rather than a crazy power hero really hit me as special right from the start. It tells me this isn’t a song about ultimate power, or that there is an ultimate cure.

I don’t have bicps or pecs I don’t have a super car like Batman A very cool hero is my fantasy But the only thing I can give you is Anpan

This section is breaking out these crazy things that comic book heros have that are just unattainable by most people. It’s this kind of idea of not being good enough and it’s important. Comic books, media in general, can make us feel like we don’t have the correct lives or the correct feelings to do anything worthwhile. This lyric is saying, I don’t have all this cool shit that makes super heros heros, all I have is bread. I’m not good enough to be super, I can only give what I have.

I’ve been dreaming to be a hero like Superman I jumped as hard as I can, sky high jump jump I’m not scared of scraping my knee They are the delusions of my naive younger days

Again, same point. I want to be this idolized figure. I want to be able to have or be  these crazy things, and I’m not scared to try, but I just can’t do it. I can’t. The idea of these comic heros being some sort of fake dream as a child pulls me to the idea of just general idolizing as youth; that time when your parent is the greatest human on earth until you start getting older and realize that all people have flaws. Then the lyric turns and says; I’m not scared of trying my best though. That’s important.

I’m not a superhero Don’t expect too much I can be your hero I don’t know if saying something like this Is right, really But I must say it mom If I don’t say it, then who would You can call me say Anpan

This is where I start getting hyped at the lyrics. I’m not a SUPERhero. Saying, please don’t put me on this high pedestal. I’m not perfect. And I really love the doubt here, the kind of idea that maybe calling yourself a hero isn’t the right thing to do, and gives people the wrong idea about yourself. Then again, it turns around and says that sometimes people need that ‘hero’ so someone has to take that responsibility of being the hero even if they know they can’t be perfect. The world needs heroes.

Waiting for you Anpanman (Lemme hear ya say, lemme hear ya say) Waiting for you Anpanman (Turn it up, turn it up, turn It up) Will you push a little more (Lemme hear ya say, lemme hear ya say) I will be your strength (Turn it up, turn it up, turn it up)

This reads to me like a person coaching someone through a mental illness. It’s not saying it Anpanman will save you from all your troubles, but Anpanman can be your shoulder, your rock.I like this lyric because it gives me the feeling that the song is trying to say that, yes people need heros but heros are not the end all of helping people. People need to help themselves. I can’t be your house, but I can be your foundation.

Keep on turning, turning Anpan Keep ballin’ ballin’ still Bangtan Open your eyes and be a hero but still in a maze

You can be a hero even if you aren’t a fully realized person yourself. Even if you are lost yourself, you can help.

That young man, young man, young man Keep secretly secretly be scarred, totally But ballin’ ballin’ still Bangtan

Same point but louder this time. And here I get a little nervous because it kind of feels like it’s asking you to cover up your pain to help others. Which sounds noble on paper but in practice, it’s a recipe for personal disaster. But it’s also very satisfying to think that anyone can be a hero, it doesn’t matter your personal tramas, you can still be a hero to someone and that’s how I choose to read this. 

I may hurt but I’m a hero, leave the fear behind Anpanman panman panman

SCREAMS LOUDLY. Okay, okay. Breathe. Again it’s enforcing that same point, but just the fearlessness. You do not need to be okay to help someon else move towards okay, you just need the courage to keep pushing, be strong. I don’t have to be perfect to help you. I can help you by being me.

I’m a new generation Anpanman I’m a new superhero Anpanman All I have is this song, one shot Lemme say “All the bad men, cop out” I’m a new generation Anpanman I’m a new superhero Anpanman All I have is this song, one shot Lemme say “All the bad men, cop out”

Now, I start to see that BTS could be referencing themselves. Putting that into context for the top stuff I’ve already looked at, makes it read like. Hey we can’t be your cure, but we can be your start. We have the ability to help you but our only ability is our music. We are not going to stop, we are strong. (Side note: I do feel like there is something lost in translation here because I’ve seen 3 or four translation for this so please hit me up if you have a better translation)

Sometimes, I’m afraid of everything Because I have so many things that I love

Maybe I like Harry Potter to much, but this made me think of the Dumbledore line that Harry should pity Voldemort because he cannot love. And it’s true, experience love of any kind is the best feeling in the word, but it can also be the worst. Love can be lost and that’s scary. But even hero’s are allowed to be scared because that gives them a reason to keep being a hero. Being a hero isn’t being always fearless, it’s wanting to protect the things you fear to lose.

Someone tells me that I’ve become an old bastard I don’t have the right, I should just keep on doing what I’m good at But I still want to be a hero

Being jaded, or turned cynical by life is real. Feeling like you can’t do anything other than what box you’ve been placed in by life is something I really struggled with personally as well. The first time I saw this translation I needed a minute because it was so real. Impostor syndrome is real. People, including yourself, will say that you can’t do certain things, but damn it I want to do those things and you can!

I choose to become a teacher with the direct goal not to teach, but to help teenagers. What right do I have to help teenagers? I’m a broken human with mental health issues from serious self-harm to regular panic attacks. But fuck that if anyone tells me I can’t help someone else. Let me suffer separately from my hero duties. 

All I can give you is a red bean bread And tell you that you did a good job If you call me, I’ll fly right over Call me

This goes back to those early parts. Red bean bread (Anpanmans head) and support are sometimes all you need to do to help. So fuck you my own personal issues, if you need help I’ll be there to tell you you’re doing great and to stay stong. Let me help you.

[repeat chorus]

Honestly

I’m afraid of falling Of disappointing you all

Yes. All the yes. I want to help but what if I fuck up.

But I’ll use all of my energy To stay by your side

Even if I screw up, I’m going to keep trying to help. 

I may fall again I may make another mistake

I’m not perfect. I never was and I don’t claim that I will be perfect in the future.

I may be covered in mud But believe in me because I’m a hero Yeah yeah

Bad reputation? I may have one. But if you need me, and believe in me I can still help. I like the change in this lyric from I want to be a hero to I AM a hero. It’s an acceptance and confidence. The song really solidfies the message for me here. Look at all these things that could go wrong, but I’m still going to be a hero. I’m not going to let imperfect things screw up my ability to help. 

[repeat chorus]

Final Collection of Thoughts: 

Holy shit this song speaks to me so deeply. 

I like the reading of this being applied to themselves. With that interpretation, they are trying to say that they are not superman, they are not the all powerful, perfect vision of a hero that comic books create and that children are taught to idolize. They are just an average power level hero, at least if you take the whole song. The song says over and over that they have flaws and issues of their own but they will be the heroes the ARMY needs with their songs. Call me lame, but some of their songs make me feel less lonely and bring me joy. They are my Anpanman’s right now, yanking me out of a depressive cycle.

But I also like interpreting it as applied to the listener, in this case me. I’m not a complete human yet. I struggle to find myself, and I struggle with my own mental health issues. Just because I haven’t figured my shit out doesn’t mean that I can’t be helpful to someone else. That’s me as a teacher. God damn do I feel good when students came to me with personal issues they needed to talk about and I can offer them the support they need. Sometimes these issues were issues I directly faced and/or was still dealing with in my own life; that doesn’t mean I can’t help. 

I’m not Wonder Woman. I’m not Captain America. I’m not bloody fucking Iron Man. I’m just me, trying to be the best me I can be. And if the best me I can be is Anpanman, then I will fucking be your Anpanman. I will screw up. I will self harm and hide it from you because you don’t need to see that shit. I’ll find my own Anpanman, while being Anpanman for you and that’s where I think the power of this song is. Hiding your own suffering from EVERYONE is not okay, but sometimes you hide your suffering for the betterment of others. I’m not going to tell my fucking Grade 10s I spent the weekend in the ER because I slashed myself a little too deep because I hate my body. That’s not helpful. I’m going to be my goofy, ‘confidant’ self and be the hero they need me to be in that moment in their lives. That’s my purpose.I might be broken but I will fix others.

Overall, the song is just a beautiful and I’m deceased now. 

Thanks for reading. <3 Please let me know your thoughts. I’d love to here them.