#as someone who only started getting into homestuck last year

[beescake]

yeh.. inspired while i was browsing fuckyeahmcdoubledicks (much appreciation for the dedicated preservation of posts in real-time!!) and found the section where people were live reacting to this moment in hs back in 2011-2012

(note to browse the blog with caution bcs there's untagged nsfw!)

lovee

[understandableparadox]

a comprehensive list of everything wrong with hazbin hotel.

quick note before i lose myself in madness, my standards for helluvaboss are non existent because its a free show on youtube. also i kinda like helluvaboss and i will indulge in any bias i damn well please.

oh and spoilers. i guess.

the greater narrative of the entire season is "White lady civilize inner city hoodlum". ex: The blind side. rich girl, affluent family yadda yadda.

the story is set up to be like amphibia, owl house, svtfoe, steven universe, that being starting as something episodic then transforming into story driven narrative. why? because we know the benefits and drawbacks, episodic starts allows us to wander the world, it allows us to understand the dynamics, we are not forced to reckon with anything because there is no deadline. characters are allowed to bloom and shine and the audience can actually get attached.

the source material is Vary Clearly formed from remnants of something out of a middle school edgelord narrative. the usage of transformation, the big spooky grins, the "and then i smile as my eyes glow and-"-isms which in most cases i don't mind because in some instances but in a vary Particular case its astoundingly annoying and that annoyance is like a mold, shit spreads quick.

the color Red. as a lover of homestuck cherubs and karkat and aradia, as someone who fucking loves the color red, it is so painful to say but holy shit tone it the fuck down, i know its hell but their are so many other colors that you can use, its everywhere, the streets, the air, the windows, the screens, the characters, i know the pride ring is represented with red but change up the palates every so often for backgrounds

the rush, this ties into the second point made but i think the story itself is rushed. we know everything way to early. i know way to much and it makes it hard to care about anything because im still trying to digest the last chunk of info. "oh ok, so they clear out hell once a year. oh hell has a heaven embassy? ok. oh that adam the angel, i though he wou- oh its every 6 months now. wait the exterminators die a lot? then why is everyone sca- people in hell already have weapons that can kill angels? w- oh we are in heaven now, ok ma- no one in heaven except for the elites know the exterminations occur? how do-" and its that, just this incessant rush to explain everything to you. notably that's just the god damn spark notes, we need to know everything about the characters now, every single bit of their story, their insecurities, what charlie needs to fix, how she can fix them, the major bad guys, everything. you are never allowed to dwell on a character because we need to rush towards something else. it almost feels like this should have been like... season three, it would have been a fantastic season three if you dropped the introductions honestly.

the concept of redemption. for a story of redemption to work you need to look at three things. What is there crime, Do they want to change, What is preventing them from changeing? there is only one single character that has a notable path of redemption, angel dust, but if you look through their story it feels off. What Exactly is he guilty of? he has sex, does drugs and drinks. his apparent nymphomania is tied to his sad backstory as someone forced into the sex industry so how is that their fault? then if you think about it you start to spiral and notice "hey why are most of these people in hell?" like sure some of them may deserve punishment but then you see the fucking dichotomy and its like "I was a inventor in england and died of the fucking plague, i may have made evil little contraption hoohoohoo" vs "I was a cannibal, a full on cannibal, i fucking killed people and ate them and then someone shot me". ONE OF THESE THINGS ARE A LITTLE MORE FUCKING EXTREME. i'm going to go fucking nuts, the thing they went to heaven with when presenting a case to angels on the idea that redemption and becoming a better person is actually real was angel dust not drinking at a party and not having sex with consenting adults and i want to go fucking insane. WHAT IS THE CRIME, WHO IS THROWING THE BOOK, WHAT DOES THE BOOK INTEL, ARE WE ON GOOD PLACE RULES?! half the cast dont Need redemption they need fucking help, and the other half of the cast do need redemption but they do not seek it making the point moot. sir pentious acts like he has the brain of a hyper intelligent toddler tossing about toys, its almost like he did his one bad thing of spying and then got caught, sank his little diddy about forgiveness and second chances and become a null point through out the rest of the series, sure their was Some weight to him sacrificing himself, he was a decently funny character and he had good moments but him popping up in heaven felt like a fore gone conclusion, he didn't deserve to be in hell so why do i care that he is suddenly in heaven? because its working on the concept the good place already made. no one actually deserves eternal punishment they just need help processing what makes them a dick, but instead of looking at all the parts of the afterlife that make it bad, inefficient and then creating and trying ideas to see if it work instead over a few seasons, we crash dick first into all the major plot points in regards to that and say "tada, we fixed it.".

having a sub-plot about sexual assault and its victims then having multiple sexual assault related gag ruins your point.

don't make a bunch of stereotypically jewish characters into cannibals, that was a big thing, really shouldn't have to say it.

if you are going to make a character black, make them black, you can say alastor was black but sweet seren-fucking-dippity that's not a black man.

pot meet kettle but yeah the cursing could be a little less liberal. maybe just blue hair or the pronouns, not both.

there is a very distinctive art deco/jazz aesthetic which normally i love but i feel as though it is not used to its full extent and in some cases really hurts the character design in and of itself.

this is a vary obvious bit but the story is a million times more interested in gay men then it is of lesbians, which culminates in this insane thing where the writers clearly have more talent or perhaps it would be more abt to say practice writing male gay pining then they are with lesbian pining. which i personally think is hilarious because i did not know you could min max fujoshi-ism that hard.

this next section is more to do with each character on a fundamental level, for the sake of brevity whatever there is left, i'm just doing ones with speaking roles.

13. Charlie:

(see what i mean about that red thing?)

as originally stated charlie fits rather comfortably into every white saviour narrative, though that seems to be part of her joke. though i'm not entirely sure how much of a joke it can be when its rewarded and expected to advance the plot.

her character design says nothing, it has the motif of old puppets or dolls, she wears something vaguely similar to service suits, her demonic form is just some extra horns.not to say every character needs to have their life on a clothes rack but some more snake and goat imagery would be nice

its not the chol design of charlie with snake hair, not an actual problem but its a problem to me, damn you @cholvoq for ruining my ability to look at any of the characters without wishing i was seeing your designs instead.

character wise aside from the white savoir bit, i'm having a bit of trouble understanding what the arc of the character is. she is shown to be naive, someone who doesn't understand how the world works but everytime she says something its something astoundingly clear like "people can actually get better". and its treated like someone demanded faygo in every water fountain. is the joke that the world around her to cynical or is so to naive? please pick one or the other.

now if you know me, you know i fucking hate overpowered characters with a blinding passion, one that would set alit the god damn abyss but in this one special instance, i feel like its warranted, she's the direct descendant of fucking God, she can swing her weight around a little, i mean god damn. she in so many instances looks like shes cowering so often, why would the daughter of lucifer get backed down by some rando pimp? why wasn't she the one to fight adam? sure you can say she is young but how young? her parents were there since pre-abrahamic times, most of the characters showed up in hell in the 1900s, some of them showed up in the 1600s, how old is charlie??? how long does it take for her to learn how to be strong? The story does not suffer if charlie is strong and knows she is strong. it can easily be a case of "i don't believe in violence to a weird degree". fit it into her apparent naivety about the world to believe that violence is never the answer even when dealing with a being that is unilaterally horrible and abusive and monstrous.

she ga- no im kidding, i do think her romance was waysided a bit, it would have been fine to have more scenes of them togather and in love you know?

14. Vaggie

why did you name the lesbian vaggie...? Don't do that maybe?

I like how her design is almost moth like but again i feel as though you could have amped that up.

she feels as though someone tried to combine undyne and pearl from steven universe, same story beats and design elements. it makes it hard to really distinguish her as a character.

i honestly dont have much to say about her. she is fine.

christ kill me, lets just get the big one out of the way

15. Alastor.

God Damn

where to start.

"alastor is mixed race" mixed with fucking what? concrete? there is not a single black feature on that creature, now im not saying you have to make him a png of louie armstrong but it wouldn't hurt to add a curl to the hair maybe? make it a tiny bit more wavy? Something? a crumb i beg of thee?

his symbolism is all over the god damn place, native american monsters (you know the one), voodoo, radio, puppets, stitches, circuses??? and Tentacles i guess. two of those are from closed religions so if you dumped those you would actually get a more concise character focused on the concept of vox populi as a means of societal control and influence as we see in his first song. but again that gets drowned out repeatedly by all the other random toy box bits shoved into him.

tumblr sexy man bait

he serves no purpose in the story. he does spooky stuff, pretends to do things and then goes back to sitting around looking spooky. i understand that his motif is supposed to be aloof mastermind but maybe have him do more mastermindy things? if you remove most of alastors scenes, bar the songs, it doesn't change all to much. husk and nifity can still be at the hotel, they could be looking for outs in their contracts the same as angel dust. hell it even helps with the one scene where he dose some spooky shit, asking charlie for a favor in exchange for his help in the fight with the angels instead of asking him about angel weapons which should have remained a strictly vaggie scene.

his presence in a way delegitimize the story, as I noted in in the section regarding redemption, the three parts are "what is the crime, do they want to change, what is stopping them?" and alastor kinda just spits in the face of that. he is a serial killer cannibal that has no qualms about how evil he is and apparently must continue being evil due to being under the control under someone legitimately called the Root Of All Evil. show him take a slight interest in the idea that maybe shit for him could be better, make him Want Change at the bare fucking minimum or dont have him at the hotel.

his stupid little fucking horns, big shot the troll liker wants characters to have big fucking horns, make them noticeable or dont have them.

he looks more like a dog boy, which could have been an interesting thing with the collar motif but fuck me i guess.

personal pet peeve but i fucking hate characters that have a million plus powers, stick to a set number, be creative.

im getting more petty as i go on so last point: he could have been in less episodes, he didn't need to be in dad beat dad, that should have been just a lucifer and charlie episode. inverse the red and black and i think he would be fucking great color wise, his body type is the same as ten different characters, he isnt radio enough, aside from the voice and and staff if you told me he was the fucking Cat Demon i would have been just as convinced.

16. Angel Dust

what the fuck, gay spider? its hard to actully articulate all the thoughts i have on angel dust, not in the sense that he is a deeply thought provoking character but in the fact that there is not much meat on the bones.

all around i think angel dust is kinda middling. he has a decent enough romance with husk, he has a decent enough story line that revolves around battling addiction and removing yourself from an abuser (which the story tries to brand as "Redemption???")

I dont like that most of his jokes would qualify as sexual harassment, i don't mind him being sexual as a character but continuing on when clearly someone doesn't like the jokes hurts the character.

not a critique but he is pink, which honestly ill fucking take at point, as long as its not more fucking red.

i think his design is an improvement over some of the old vivzie designs but it feels like it could have done with going a few more rounds of design changes.

same thing with alastor, charlie and vaggie, there is not enough of the animal that they are supposed to be. You could have told me angel dust was a fucking bee or something and i would have had to believe you. nothing about angel dust initially says spider, hell he dosent even have enough limps to be a fucking spider.

17. Carmilla carmine

are... are you supposed to be a rabbit...?

Big Yoai Hands

ballet fighting style, could have been cool, wish she fought more like sanji or chun li.

A single mom that works to hard, who loves her kids and never stops-

her song was decent, not great, decent. it feels as though the actress has experience singing but not in the way they tried to make her sing during her two songs. they have a obvious mexican influence, honestly just let her sing in spanish in the english dub. go listen to the spanish dub, "out for love" sounds great in spanish.

i wish i had more thoughts on them, fucking rip.

18. cherri bomb

that's not a punk aesthetic that's 2010s alt

decent character, they showed up once or twice i guess, no real thoughts.

19. egg boiz

absolutely perfect, i have not notes on them, these are perfect creatures.

20. Emily

im so fucking happy to see a singular blue character

does the naive dreamer bit better then charlie

We really shouldnt have seen her until the end of season two or middle of three.

good contrast with the other angels on screen.

Wait she is supposed to be black??? Where???

21. Husk

keith david you absolute delight, Why on gods green earth did they only give you one singing part?

one of the few charecters where its clear husk is a cat, i do like the kinda... marquee design, he is a magic cat, thats neat. i still think you can toss the wings and eyebrows and still have just as good of a charecter.

has a deeply intresting story of someone who died as a nobody, became the fat cat of hell and then was forced back to the bottom by their own vices, not used at fucking all.

huge potential, little pay off.

22. lillith

I know nothing about her except she ditched her kid and husband to vacation in heaven and i think thats kinda funny.

alot of werid things floating around her, again she shouldnt have been shown in the show at all until next season.

23. lucifer morningstar

no notes, funniest charecter, did a song based on friend like me.

few notes: i do like the idea that the immortal symbol of pride is a constant emotional wreckage constantly seeking approval through grand showmanship and manic energy that threatens to take over anything they touch.

would have liked more snake stuff on him, maybe some more goat things like horns.

that is such a stupid fucking staff lmao.

24. Adam.

alex brightman you absolute fucking delight, you should have had more songs.

I wish his design was more focused on the idea of him being a glam rock wash up

I fucking hate his mask

We shouldn't have met him until the end of the season.

25. Niffty

again she is supposed to be a bug or cockroach but nothing about her points to that.

token straight

keeps rocketing back and fourth between sexulization and infantilization

you had kimiko glenn but didnt give her a single fucking song?

26. Sir Pentious

the secret season one redeemed.

the pilot version of him felt more like someone that could do a season one redemption arc, a megalomaniac constantly attempting territory grabs, there is something you can work with, actual character flaws to work through.

essentially a child after the first episode.

actually a snake which i appreciate.

no where near steampunky enough.

27. the villians of the show dont make much sense, each one feels like they should be season long deals on their own instead of a bunch of team rocket esque idiots that show up on occasion, do a bad thing and then leave.

28. Valentino

gOD THERE IS SO MUCH RED

only a moth some of the time.

sucks as a villain, maybe they need more screen time to show why they suck in a more substantial way aside from being told that he sucks.

it is interesting that angel dust is only under his magical control when in the studio, it shows that angel dust has to make a conscious choice to return, which in turn can be made to show how abusers can draw back their victims. I do not think it was done well in this circumstance as it shows him to be cartoonishly evil, constantly flying back and fourth between sweet and utter psycho, there is no actual reason for angel dust to ever actually go back to the studio, he just does so every so often.

29. Vox

legit who cares? the only thing about him that is in any way substantial is all the dope ass fan art we get.

propaganda machine angle that is not explored at all, just hinted at. no actual barring on the story whatsoever.

why didn't he try to do the same shit as alastor by the way? he knows its bad if alastor gets in good with charlie so shouldn't it be a ass kissing race?

same body shape as literally every other male character.

tumblr sexy man version of pyrocynicals fursona.

30. Valvette

the actual poster child of the shows huge problem of "Show me, don't tell me".

apparently the glue that holds the villains together. never shown.

apparently the one that makes the love potions that valentino is famous for. had to learn about that in the fuckin wiki trivias

we know so much about her from things outside of the show.

was there to call carmilla a coward, that's her plot contribution. she shows up every now and again but its never anything substantial and serves to more around take up run time for people We Don't Need To Know Yet.

im not trying to be mean, animation is animation, we need smaller studios to have success in the industry so that other indie studios can have that success, felling a tree makes it easier for others to follow. showing that its possible to number brain rot exacs helps all animators.

but this show has so much bullshit attached to it, it has so much fucking potential that it fries my brain with unyielding frustration.

this took a bit to write, im tired, thanks for reading.

[tiredandoptimistic]

As someone who likes a lot of "bad" media, or media that starts out kinda slow but builds into a bigger plot over time, I see so many different opinions on what bits are "okay" to skip in order to get to the good part, and it's just wild to me. Bouncing around between the highlights doesn't actually give you the experience, and filler is so important when it comes to just...creating a vibe and building up the relationships between characters and with the audience.

For instance, Red vs Blue is probably my favorite show (ever, of all time), and while I will admit that the first five seasons are not my favorite, I still think they're essential to the show, because those five years of relatively low stakes adventures set the tone so that it can be upset by the bigger plot points. The impact of a big twist is reduced if you haven't spent the time to get invested in these characters when they're just hanging out and being silly. Most importantly though, even once the plot really gets going in season six and we get into the more serious Freelancer and Chorus arcs, Red vs Blue is still fundamentally about a bunch of idiots standing around and talking. If you have to force yourself to put up with the majority of the show, then you might just not like this show.

I was talking about this with my friend, and they said it's kinda the same thing with Homestuck. Yes, it does get "better" as time goes on, but it's still the same thing it's always been, and if that's not something you enjoy then skipping to the bits you do like won't change what it is.

Or like, I freaking love The Order of the Stick, and last year I reread it from the beginning for the first time in a while, and I half convinced myself that I'd just made up how good it is (because volume one is funny enough but nothing to write home about). However, I hit a certain point where I realized that I wasn't just reading out of a sense of obligation but because I adore these characters and am unspeakably invested in this plot. You can really tell that it's been a story happening over the course of 20+ years, you can see the writing and art improve dramatically as time goes on. I could just recommend that someone start with volume two or three, and summarize the plot up till then so they don't feel lost. However! That would rob them of the experience you get from watching these characters grow. You can't fully appreciate Belkar's arc in volume six if you didn't see what he was like on day one, y'know?

On another note, I love the Shadowhunters Chronicles, and I know that a lot of people will give The Mortal Instruments shit and call it the worst series or whatever, but those people just hate fun. Yeah, there are other series that might have stronger plots and better writing, but there's a reason that TMI's main characters have been iconic for years. Sometimes, things are just silly, and if you don't like that then you're not gonna have a good time here.

I could go on! I also like a lot of episodic shows like MASH, Community, Tangled: the Series, the whole DC animated universe, Supernatural, etc. I could come up with lists of my favorite episodes to try to hook somebody, but all of those episodes lose a lot of their impact when taken out of context. Skipping the filler doesn't give you the ultimate experience of Only The Best, it takes away your chance to fully spend time with these characters in a variety of settings. And sure, lots of shows with multiple writers do have some episodes that are just bad, but that's not what I'm talking about. There's a difference between something being bad and something being low-stakes. Maybe you personally don't enjoy things that are low-stakes, but that might just mean you shouldn't be watching a sitcom.

So yeah, this has been an excuse for me to rant about things I enjoy for a while but I'm sorta out of time and need to eat lunch, so I suppose this post has reached its conclusion. All my favorite media are my favorite for reasons I couldn't articulate in an elevator pitch, and putting together a highlight reel will never substitute for truly being in the trenches. If you're truly having a good time with something then you won't need to skip to the good part, because the whole thing is enjoyable.

[valle-de-sombra-de-muerte]

Homestuck Reread: Act 5-1, Part 2/5 (p. 2100-2235)

Read the previous post here.

Work was really rough for me last week so I didn't get a chance to write this. But here we are with the second part of this Act readthrough. It starts with a character I've had inconsistent opinions about during my time in the fandom.

I used to really hate Tavros when I was first in the fandom. Over time, I realized that my ire was directed more toward a certain fanon breed of Tavros: The simpering pacifist with love in his heart for all living creatures, who is a victim of misfortune and needs to be coddled (preferably by Gamzee).

I like the canon Tavros better. He's more like an awkward, avoidant weenie who isn't so much kind as he is too much of a spineless dork to fight back against the abuse hurled his way. He is quite explicit whenever he doesn't like someone or if he's uncomfortable, but he never does anything about the situation beyond that.

Tavros is also Hussie's dedicated buttmonkey, it seems. Prior to this point, all we really knew about him was that he was a bit of a try-hard who liked to rap and was really socially awkward. Now we see that he is wheelchair-bound and also really likes fairies and Pokemon. For a 30 year old man in the early 2010s, fairies and Pokemon would be patently uncool (and also "gay," to use the parlance of the time). Hussie wants us all to know right away that Tavros is lame (literally and figuratively) and gay (colloquially). Point and laugh at him!

I like the implication that Tavros actually breeds and raises all the Fiduspawn creatures he spawns.

Everything about Tavros's life is tragic. Hussie wanted to make a pathetic character who's the butt of every joke and whose existence is near-constant torment.

I suppose that building in the back could be a stable to house Horsaroni and the other Fiduspawn creatures, even though it's never stated. This is the last time his affinity for animal husbandry will ever be alluded to. You'd think Hussie would've included some crack about how being paralyzed makes it difficult to clean up their shit or something. Cue Tavros slipping and sliding face first into some manure...

Like Karkat, Tavros also wants to join the military to avoid being culled. It's surprising to see him have an actual goal to aspire to, considering how his character is mostly listless and focuses on escapism and avoidance. Perhaps he wants to be a cavalreaper not because of any higher ambition, but only because he thinks it'll save him from an early death.

Considering how it's never really mentioned at all after this point, I'm willing to believe it.

It is pretty funny how Tavros just lets Vriska prattle on. He gives her nothing to work with but she runs her mouth anyway. She's also really just ranting about Kanaya instead of anything about Tavros. He's a good captive audience for her to ramble at because he won't leave even though he stated at the start that he doesn't want to talk to her.

Couple of things to note: Kanaya giving Tavros some lame advice about anthropomorphizing his self-esteem is very on-brand for her. One thing about Kanaya that nobody seems to cotton onto is that while she loves to give advice and try to be helpful, she isn't all too good at it.

Another thing is Vriska immediately getting angry at "Rufio" for apparently attempting to stop her from talking to Tavros. That's a fun detail.

Gamzee and Kanaya are the only trolls so far to show kindness to Tavros. Which isn't saying much because Gamzee talks to Tavros in the same way he talks to everyone else. It's not like he's showing him any preferential treatment.

Note how Gamzee has slime on his face, so he had just eaten a pie and is totally stoned. It would explain why he seems much more out of it in this conversation than he was with Karkat or Terezi earlier, especially in the beginning since all he really does is laugh and honk instead of responding to Tavros in a coherent way. He then proceeds to relay all the information about the game to Tavros (pointless recap of shit we already know about), and the log ends with the two of them preparing to rap. In all this is a pretty worthless log and doesn't even offer much entertainment. And I say that as someone who generally likes pre-Murderstuck Gamzee.

I cannot believe this single conversation is what inspired so much generic slash art between these two. Homestuck fandom in 2010 was wild, man...

Aradia... exists. Her Ouija modus is a good representation of her character: a instrument of the plot/outside forces with little to no agency of her own. She spends a good chunk of the story as a deadpan plot device facilitating the whims of Sgrub and not much else.

Aradia is a frustrating character to discuss. There are at least four different versions of her depending on her status as alive or dead, and not once do we really get a chance to know the "true" Aradia. She really does serve as the "Jade" of the troll session, but Hussie doesn't even make an attempt at portraying her as endearing.

I wish that Aradia, not Terezi, was built up as Vriska's biggest rival. Aradia is the competent psychic who doesn't respond to taunts, doesn't care about winning, focuses on events yet to come, and generally has her shit in order. Compare that to Vriska, who cannot control Aradia, is hyper-competitive and escalates things constantly, always holds grudges and lives in the past, and switches emotions on a dime depending on what benefits her. They were already rivals in the past and while Aradia has long moved on, Vriska is dredging up the drama once more in a feeble attempt to try and "make amends" with her. The true motives of this are both to gain a position of power in the Blue Team, and also to soothe her own bruised ego and make her feel better about herself.

Her lame attempts to schmooze and flatter Aradia, trying to be on the same team as her, is in a subconscious way done to make sure that she isn't put against her. She knows Aradia is the stronger psychic and the better player, although she'd never admit it. If she can't beat Aradia, she'll do whatever she can to weasel into her good graces and try to steal credit for Aradia's achievements as the Blue Team leader.

Aradia of course, views the whole thing as childish and doesn't humor her at all. As she says herself, Vriska "never listens". These two are the perfect dynamic of cold and hot and I wish this was focused on more. Vriska should've been way more jealous of Aradia's abilities, seething about her and trying to one-up her. And the whole time Aradia doesn't take her seriously, which would only serve to piss her off further.

Time to talk about Nepeta, the troll that nobody seems to understand.

Nepeta is a lot of things. She's a personification of 2000s chatroom and forum-based RP culture, more specifically within the furry fandom. Not only does she roleplay as an animal on the internet, she also lives a very feral lifestyle. She lives in the woods, away from civilization, hunts and eats whatever animal she comes across, and uses their blood and pelts for arts and crafts. She's silly and naive, but also a capable hunter and quite perceptive, if socially immature.

Also, in regards to her moirallegiance with Equius, Nepeta appears to be obligated to stick with him for no real reason other than "someone has to keep him pacified." It's like a burden that she's saddled with; she's the only one that can put up with this dude that literally nobody else likes. While noble of her, it ends up being overall detrimental considering what a massive power imbalance they have. (Just read this post where I go into this in more detail. This post is long enough already).

People either want to characterize her as a ridiculous anime catgirl (which isn't even accurate to the subculture she's meant to parody; think less catgirl and more lolcats), or a bloodlusted killing machine. And both interpretations more often than not reduce her to a useless background character whose defining characteristic is her moirallegiance to Equius. I spit on all of that.

Nepeta's main trait is isolation (both physically and socially) and her difficulty expressing her desires. She leads a simple, primitive lifestyle away from civilization, which also impacts the way she is able to connect with others. Roleplay is the main way she expresses herself, and she has difficulty doing so when forced to drop the silly facade. She has a lot of wants (her crush on Karkat, her desire to be independent of Equius's control) that she is too awkward or timid to properly convey. Everyone around her almost always regards her as some kind of joke (Terezi roleplaying with her "facetiously", Karkat calling her autistic and trying to avoid her because of her feelings toward him, Equius's intensely infantilizating attitude toward her, Eridan not even remembering her name, etc.) which definitely hinders her ability to make others treat her with respect.

Oh wait, I forgot. Hussie himself calls her a joke character. Stupid me for getting invested in Nepeta, I guess.

"KARKAT THINKS ABOUT THAT A BIT AND HIS JAW DROPS OPEN AND BREAKS A HUGE COLUMN OF BRICKS LIKE A FUCKING KUNG FU MASTER" might be my favorite Karkat quote.

Equius is the one troll Karkat actively seems to dislike. This is the guy who is buddies with Eridan of all trolls, yet Equius is where he draws the line. Not even Vriska is a "bigger asshole" than Karkat. Nope, that's Equius, baby.

You know, it should be a little concerning that Karkat, the troll who lives and breathes troll romance in all its forms, is disgusted and dumbfounded by Equius and Nepeta's relationship. Especially since it's so often heralded as the "perfect" moirallegiance. Speaking of which...

This is very notable as being one of the few explicitly anti-hemospectrum statements said by a troll. A few trolls like Karkat, Aradia, and Sollux will grumble about their position in society and the way the higher castes behave, but ultimately accept the hemospectrum as an immutable facet of society.

Nepeta goes a step further than that and straight up says that caste separation shouldn't exist. Nepeta. The troll everyone writes off as being an infantile moron. Maybe it's these radical sentiments that cause Equius to keep her on such a tight leash.

As for Equius's response, am I the only one reading this!?!?!? What an incredible asshole. These two are the same age, yet he's talking to her like she's a child who needs guidance solely because she's of a lower blood caste.

Does he even like Nepeta? His supposed fondness for her is incredibly patronizing. It's like he only keeps her around because she provides him a service of calming him down and for no other reason. Other than that, she's only "ok, but not great".

Nepeta hunts and kills massive animals on a regular basis. She is not "delicate" in a physical sense. Equius is saying that she is "delicate" as in impressionable and at risk of being "corrupted" by her lower blooded friends. That's all Equius cares about: her moral standing.

Equius knows full well that Nepeta would never fight back against him, since she takes her obligation to pacify him very seriously. He exploits her goodwill to make her do whatever he wants. Why is this being paraded as the most wholesome ship in the fandom again???

I feel like it's this log that has forever damaged fandom's perception about Equius and Nepeta. Tavros suggests that Equius prohibiting Nepeta from playing FLARP was a positive because she possibly could've been maimed or killed otherwise. But it's not like Equius ever gave a shit about the danger involved at all. His biggest objection against Nepeta playing these games was because she'd be playing with lowbloods, not because he was afraid she'd get hurt. The ends don't justify the means. He's still barring her from interacting with her friends for shitty reasons.

Anyway, Tavros sucks here. He suggests Nepeta just go with the flow in her terrible relationship because he himself is so painfully passive that he'd never consider rocking the boat, even if it means standing up to someone who wrongs him regularly. Don't listen to Tavros, people.

I think I really need to have a serious talk about Vriska and Karkat's dynamic because I never see anyone talk about them. Their back and forth is hilarious just because of how similar they are to each other. Both have extreme delusions of grandeur that mask massive insecurities and paranoias (Karkat's "curse" vs. Vriska's "bad luck"). They also have aspirations of being the leader of all their friends, which leads to their egos butting heads with each other.

Vriska acts smarmy and disarming while Karkat vehemently shuts her down. Karkat sees through her manipulative tactics and doesn't want to give her any angle to work with at all. Vriska meanwhile sees right through Karkat's bravado and likes to toy with him and rile him up. (Something something... I wonder what other dynamic between a Knight and Light player is kinda similar to this where they see through the other's bullshit so transparently?)

Also jeez Karkat counting out the question marks is adorable and hilarious.

I love how Karkat boasts about what a competent opponent he'll be followed up by him telling Vriska not to use her mind powers. Right, that's kind of a major advantage she has.

Rolling my eyes at Karkat hyping up Terezi as this master tactician. "Ooh Vriska is jealous of her because Terezi is so good at manipulation." Why does the story keep talking about how cunning Terezi without ever showing us her abilities? Am I seriously supposed to think she's this Machiavellian mastermind because she tricked John Egbert of all people? Get real!

This is what I mean when I say that Aradia is the one Vriska should have seething jealousy over. Why should Vriska be jealous of Terezi at all?

Between Karkat, Tavros, and John, it's very safe to say Vriska's type is primarily soft boys.

Vriska, above all else, is an egomaniac. She, like Karkat, wants to be the best at everything. She wants to be in charge, to dictate the fates of those she views as weaker. She exercises this desire most often in FLARP, where she's essentially the most dominant player. She even likes to dabble in "dark prognostication" so she can foresee future events and stay ahead of those who wish to undermine her. This might have something to do with how her life is otherwise dominated by her needy lusus. She requires an outlet to exert control over others.

She's childish and cannot handle when she's losing or when bad things happen to her as a result of her own poor decision making. She breaks her magic 8 balls when they don't give her the result she wants, she lashes out at people when she fails to manipulate them, and she melts down when things in her life aren't going the way she wants them to. "Overdramatic" is an understatement when talking about Vriska. Everything about her is always turned up to 11.

She's also a master at avoiding responsibility for her actions. Any negative repercussions are deemed "bad luck", as if she's a victim of forces beyond her control. She'll even double down on this and claim that all her broken 8 balls are responsible for adding to this bad luck. She's a victim of a self-destructive mindset.

Also note how she's an "apocalypse buff" and Karkat dreams about programming the perfect doomsday virus. Yet another trait they share. Just saying.

Oh wait never mind all that. Uhh... "Vriska did nothing wrong!" There I said le funny meme. The only person who should honestly believe that is Vriska herself.

Vriska's such a goofball. She's so proud of her dumb little OC.

(Oh my god this was annoying to format. Fuck you Scratch and your white text.)

Very cute how she reuses Karkat's opening line against Scratch. And it turns out that she also reused the same login trick on Karkat that Scratch had done to her previously. Vriska is quick to call people out whenever she finds their actions to be unconscionable, but she'll readily excuse herself whenever she's guilty of doing the same thing. "It's okay when Vriska does it!"

She gets incredibly irritated when Scratch keeps talking about how he took advantage of her because she does not want to lose. She doesn't want anyone to have a position of power over her. It's a major way to make her uncomfortable (hence why she starts putting 8s in random letters very early on in this log).

I love it when Vriska says "can it". Also whenever she says "man" as a general expression of annoyance or amazement.

Kanaya loves dangerous women, but has no idea how to handle them. She wants to gently guide Vriska toward a more positive path, but Vriska resists any attempt at being controlled. Honestly, kind of fair considering that Kanaya is really only feigning to be Vriska's moirail so she can try and slide into her flushed quadrant. Kind of like what Eridan does with Feferi. But you're not ready for that conversation.

Uh, Vriska? Feferi's right there. And her lusus is much higher maintenance because if she doesn't get fed, everyone dies.

Not that I don't think Vriska wouldn't downplay Fef's struggles anyway.

And again, Eridan has significantly more irons in the fire since he's essentially in charge of keeping everyone on the planet alive.

Not like Vriska would care, though.

Equius might be one of the most viscerally repulsive and morally repugnant characters in the whole comic, but god dammit he just might be the most hilarious. To his credit, Hussie managed to craft the perfect buffoon by successfully capturing the essence of a specific kind of racist, perverted, online creepazoid and distilling it into a sweaty teenager who loves milk, horses, and being STRONG.

Making Equius fixated with grotesque furry art while calling it high art is a great parody of how fascists are obsessed with this grand idea of European exceptionalism when it comes to art and culture. It comes off as creepy and perverse (it also helps that many of these people are also addicted to hardcore pornography). If Homestuck was written today, Equius would probably be a very unsubtle parody of those people with a statue avatar and blabbing about how the West needs to "RETVRN" to past glories.

I'm kind of glad that's not the case because that'd be too on the nose. He's nasty enough as is.

Most trolls have to behave like "a sort of zookeeper" when interacting with their lusii, but Aurthour actually serves and cares for Equius. This does not stop Equius from referring to Aurthour as a "craven excuse for a custodian" or from mocking him when he gets injured (injuries caused by Equius himself, mind you).

I know it's a popular headcanon to depict Equius as this rippling, muscular bodybuilder, but I think it's more fitting to make him into this lanky guy who just happens to be freakishly strong. Muscular physiques are too aesthetically pleasing. It runs contrast to Equius's otherwise unappealing physical features. His widow's peak, his long unstyled hair, his broken teeth, his goofy ass legwarmers and shorts, the fact that he's constantly sweating... you get the idea.

He talks to Gamzee every day? Bro really wants to get his rocks off.

Equius won't roleplay over text with Nepeta, but he will pressure Gamzee into participating in his kinky dom/sub fantasy.

Equius structures all his social dynamics entirely around their position on the hemospectrum in relation to his own. There is no e%ception, he's incredibly infle%ible about this. From the way he browbeats Nepeta, to how he's begrudgingly civil to the similarly-classed Vriska, to the way he has to all but force Gamzee to try and dominate him, he is incapable of seeing anyone beyond what color their blood is.

Even later on, he never "overcomes his casteism." The only reason he ever acts subservient or polite to a lower blooded troll is because he view it through the lens of a power play dynamic. He gets a thrill out of "perverting" the class structure and getting "dominated" by those he views as inferior. Because despite his high social status and amazing physical strength, Equius is naturally submissive. It's this contrast that fuels a lot of his inner torment and anger issues.

Yeah he isn't a very dynamic character because at his core, he's a walking sex joke. But in Hussie's defense, it's an incredibly funny joke.

Oh Christ. And to think there was so much art of these two as a legitimate couple.

Equius's obsession with Aradia kind of reads like an openly racist/transphobic guy who secretly likes watching interracial/trans porn. Or perhaps in this specific passage, a guy who thinks he can "fix" a lesbian woman by turning her straight. No matter how you slice it, this just sucks.

Stay tuned for more yapping about trolls in the next post!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for ghosting 2 of my closet friends?

TL;DR: 2 of my closest/longest friendships ive had were ended by me stopping any and all communication, either unprompted or prompted. i dont feel any urge to talk with these people again, and i do not want to rekindle these friendships.

i (19ftm) have had only 2 friendships were i would consider the other person a "best friend". the first one was when i was in middle school (12-13). this other person, we'll call K(at the time 13F). now back in middle school i was what would be considered as the cool kids say: Cringe. super obsessed with undertale AND homestuck, a big 1-2 punch.

i met K through our homeroom class, and we really hit it off well. she was funny, great at art, and also loved undertale (she was the one who actually got me into homestuck, but thats besides the point). we hung out constantly, always chatting and swapping art tips, that sorta thing.

when i moved schools in 7th grade we became distance friends. not long distance bc we lived 30 min. away from each other, but we didn't get to see each other everyday anymore. eventually we started dating, but i didnt really feel content w the relationship at the time (i didnt know i was trans/gay yet lol).

one day i told her i was taking a break from social media/discord for a while until i sorted myself out, and then i would be back. i never spoke with her again after that and i felt like shit for years for ghosting my at the time girlfriend. i didnt take the break with the intention of ghosting K, it just kinda happened. she deleted her discord and i don't remember her tumblr so i have no way of communicating w her anymore. we knew each other for about 3-4 years, and dated for about half of that.

my other friend we'll call T(ftm). I met T my freshman year, when i was 14. T is 2 years older than me, so he was 16 at the time, a sophomore. T and i really hit it off well, and we hung out all the time after school, and talked over discord daily. he did a lot for me ill be honest, and helped me through an identity crisis when i realized i was trans and also gay.

however, when T graduated he started to drift away. i was still a junior at the time but we stayed in contact the best we could. i started driving so i would visit him in his apartment on weekends. however things really nose dived my senior year. i was 17-18 and all my friends had graduated, so i was already feeling pretty alone.

i kept trying to find comfort in T but he just kinda faded away. he found a new friend group of ppl closer to his age and they started hanging out more. i knew some of these people from our school, and was even friends w one of them, but for some reason he insisted on keeping me separate from them.

things boiled over when our mutual friend from this new friend group decided to throw a halloween party, but had to cancel last minute. time skip to november 1st and im picking up T to go rollerskating, and to my surprise he hops in my car out of breath and says "sorry it took so long, i was cleaning up after a halloween party!" and went on about this party he threw the night before with all his friends from the other group. T explained to me that he didn't invite me bc "i wouldn't know any of them".

i was pissed. really pissed. i stopped making plans to hang out with him, but to my surprise so did he. we stopped chatting daily, and the last time we spoke was april of last year. i sent him a final message in may trying to spark another conversation but he never replied. so i gave up. i stopped talking to him.

then i realized the pattern of me growing extremely close with someone only to ghost them. i know T basically ghosted me but i also stopped putting in the effort so i feel i still hold some of the blame. even when i last saw T in person i avoided him like the plague, and i just pray that if we do see each other again he does NOT recognize me.

What are these acronyms?

[unjustgalaxy]

OH YEAH ALSO CAN YOU TELL ME EVERYTHING ABOUT YOUR UNDERTALE WONDERLUST AU :0???

ARGH I MEAN I DONT HAVE MUCH?? I HAVENT HAD TIME TO THINK ABT IT😭😭

but um ill write something down under a read more sure👍👍

its definitely tougher now since they went to the SURFACE already, but i bet i could work with it.

i know Troy functions as sort of the protagonist which jesus christ. unlucky. mans definitely NOT getting a pacifist ending now!! (points over at him, covered in blood and gore)

the thing abt ut au is that Troy and Frisk go through a pretty similar thing at the beginning if u think abt it!!

He fell down a big pit (flowers didnt break his fall, but trash is good enough), he then met SOME sort of villain of the story because he got kidnapped (also in pitch darkness, like Flowey was + u can equal being tied to a chair to being trapped in a small box surrounded by bullets) AND he met someone who functions as a tutorial for this new world hes entered (although Blink is way more unwilling than Toriel is😭😭)

i feel like if this was in game form, Blink would start off more like.. you know undertale yellow? Dalv is there, the vampire guy, and he spends like all the ruins Running Away from you before you meet him at the very end. I imagine it would be more like that, but he'd actually teach you stuff the few times you meet him. I'll figure out the logistics!!

Aeon is definitely like the Undyne equivalent. Because she's definitely after them, very scary and angry, but she's actually chill as hell (atleast i'm HOPING Aeon pls be my friend please)

Idk how exactly Ripley and The Inventor will work in this sort of?? situation? OR the Overseer

Like the Overseer was definitely built up as this huge threat - an Asgore level threat - but i'm unsure if he is?? I just have to wait for more wonderlust to come out😭😭

Oh!! And like, regions wise

For sure Reclaim is the beginning area, maybe with like a turn u can take, or you can fall further down into the Trench maybe? And Oasis Flora could be chill like Waterfall is

I certainly don't need to plan all of this so logistically, and should think about it more lore wise, but this helps with making art for it i think

OH and Troy, Runt and Blink definitely team up. Which is more Deltarune like, especially since Troy KEEPS wanting to kill people and they keep having to stop him

BUT ANYWAY THESE ARE VERY SCATTERED AS YOU CAN TELL. I wanna have more info before I actually start like, piecing it together into a whole thing in my head. Because I don't know how many more times they'll go to the surface and if i can somehow change that or implement it so it makes sense lore wise

Last minute thought: The Inventor is Gaster. imagine

and in an ideal world Cogsworth is Mettaton

But i know i wanna make more like pixel art for it bc its fun!! i only made one battle sprite but i wanna make one for like Blink too...

THANKS FOR GETTING ME TO THINK ABT IT I NEED TO LOCK IN AGAIN

oh and also ur tma au rlly intrigues me and i WISH i could read more abt it if only i wasnt fucking terrified of tma OR knew anything abt pd😭😭 the only things i know r through my brother and i did like. bare minimum research into "which fears fit which of the riptide guys" like years ago BUT JUST SO U KNOW I THINK ITS COOL IM CHEERING BUT LIKE THROUGH A WINDOW

i keep making too many aus. undertale? tma fear entities years ago? homestuck au thats entirely unfinished? can i chill?

[davekat-sucks]

agreed completely with last anon. i think the problem is, or at least what could have caused all of these misunderstandings and miscommunications, is that the truth is that Hussie has never been really good at writing character arcs, what he IS good at is at writing memorable characters with unique voices and visually appealing simple designs. and that's because, technically, he somewhat stole them from other media or started from referencing character tropes from old movies, homestuck has always been a mix of many different 80-90s media. so for example, the humans are stereotypical movie/comic characters (john= dorky nerd protag, dave = cool best friend, rose = snarky goth, jade = girl next door), and that's what makes the audience instantly like them, because they are familiar, but, at the time, modernized in a way that was actually entertaining with in-depth interests, different viewpoints, and funny chemistry. it's all that has worked for years concentrated in an easy to digest mold that gave it the potential to be something more than usual. and yet, john, jade and rose had ZERO character growth, dave had negative and became a fucking douchebag, and these four don't even act like friends anymore by the end of the story. what the fuck.

it also happened with the trolls, because as i said before, how did the "chosen one" character that was said to be caring and the second coming of christ ended up as admiring the tyrannical ruler that genocided his race and did nothing afterwards except be dave's sidepiece and never talking to his friends again. who the fuck would like that for a conclusion to his story? there is nothing satisfying about it, why should i now be invested in Karkat in hs2, if he is a bad friend with bad morals that ends up amounting to nothing? Hussie wrote that i shouldn't, that's what i get for assuming real people have character arcs, karkat was never meant to be a leader, but sea hitler jr, meenah, sure was.

that's what makes it unlikable and what causes disconnect between fans. he subverted not only the trope, but also the little character building he himself wrote, and ended up with confusing themes. he didn't do the hard job of keeping a consistent structured plot until the end, he just applied twists as convenient to act smugly cynical about it afterwards, like he's allergic to sincerity. you also see this with how he treated johnrose/davejade or karezi, or how he says davekat and now june were always meant to happen all along.

and so, what some fans like about karkat or dave, for example, is not what they actually achieved or did in the source story, because they ended up with nothing and also their wiki page was too long to read, but the fandom idealization of them. and that's how you get the wildly ooc dialogue you see in hs2, the writers see nothing wrong with this, dont understand how to separate their personal bias from these characters or what was actually appealing about them in the first place, and what we end up with are projections of who THEY would like to see in a story: characters that act like the writers themselves. hollow self-centered assholes with no sense of humour disconnected from reality that communicate via twitter memes, therapy speak, and the trendy political issue of the day, all so they can pat each other on the back and feel better about amounting to very little in life too, now with semi-canonical homestuck facepaint on.

sorry for the armchair psychology, but my conclusion is, what closure i try to give myself from this shitpile of a franchise, is to view it as a cautionary tale of caving to social pressure and treating people that find value in your work like shit. homestuck ended in a very unsatisfying way for many, and it continues to get worse because it's easier to call someone a bigot and double down on your beliefs than concede you made a mistake, wasted so much time and have no idea how to fix it.

Yes to everything said here! Say it loud for everyone to hear! I dislike when Hussie or people use the excuse that he was just SUBVERTING expectations. Not questioning on why even built it up in the first place if it meant NOTHING at all. It's a complete waste of time. And not in an ironic sense. A waste of time and emotion audiences felt before being slapped in the face and kicked in the balls for even caring. Like, I know Hussie is known for trolling. He made himself as this asshole-but-likeable persona for some time even prior to Homestuck. Sadly, this is probably one of the few times it wouldn't have worked if it means damaging your reputation in the long run. And I don't mean the edge humor he throws into the comic. I mean the treatment towards his fans where there's not much genuine sincerity and it's all asshole mode that it's hard to tell if it's joking or truly being hostile. He could have said he would like to be left alone, but perhaps pride and fame got in the way for him to say that. Even when it was the large amount of fans that made him feel pressured in the first place. I don't know how James or anyone in the team can really fix this mess without addressing problems people had with the series overtime. And not just stuff from Epilogues or Homestuck^2, but address things that were never answered or felt anticlimactic from the base webcomic.

[guppygiggles]

Hey friend!

Maybe this has been asked before, but was Avery inspired by anyone? ( ·ิϖ·ิ)

I don't think anyone has ever asked me this on this blog! Honestly, I've tried many times to nail down exactly what inspired Avery, but... I never can, not completely.

This is going to get long, I'm sorry.

I turned 30 last year. It wasn't in a "midlife crisis" or depressive kind of way, but I started thinking a lot about how I wanted the rest of my life to go, and what I wanted out of life that I'd never had a chance to have. I decided that there were two things I really yearned to do -- make art, and make friends. I figured a good place to start dipping my toes in would be Tumblr, since I'd used it in the past and I knew there would be a lot of art here to inspire me. And I was inspired... massively. Especially after I started actually drawing, myself. I started getting more ideas at once than I'd ever had in my life, and it triggered a bout of insomnia I am still dealing with now, almost six months later.

The first time I can remember thinking about Avery was during one such sleepless night, desperately trying to coax myself to sleep. Laying in the dark, I'd close my eyes and imagine leaving my body, floating above my apartment complex. I'd wander around like a ghost, exploring places I'd seen, but which are normally inaccessible... private roads, fenced estates, etc. I'd imagine sitting on the edge of a skyscraper, watching the city move beneath me, imagining what people were doing, why they were up so late, etc.

I imagined this many nights... It became a pet fantasy. When I was a kid, I read a book called Billy the Bird by Dick King-Smith, maybe that's where I got the idea... I don't know. Along with the insomnia were vicious bouts of nostalgia, too, so... It's possible.

But, anyway... I'd get lonely.

I wanted someone to talk to, so I imagined someone sitting with me. Someone who could only come out at night, for fear of being seen. Someone for whom sitting on the edge of a skyscraper was no concern, and who could catch me if I fell. I imagined he was soft, gentle... a good listener, maybe even a bit shy. I imagined he was an intellectual, capable of being quite serious, but never dour. He was quick with a smile, and it was easy to make him laugh.

In some respects, I suppose, he was inspired by a friend of mine, who died many years ago. In most ways, he wasn't like Avery at all -- he was extremely blue-collar, the exact opposite of an intellectual, and very outgoing. He was not refined in any way, and could even be quite reckless, at times. But, he had a unique, gentle, innocent sort of kindness that I've found to be exceedingly rare. To know him was to love him, really; he was a hard worker and a fierce friend, someone who wanted nothing more than to love and be loved. My relationship with him and the way his passing affected me touches everything I make and everything I do, intentional or not.

When I was building Avery's character, I was very fascinated by object heads at the time (particularly Prince Robot from Saga), and I was also seeing a lot art for "doctor/scientist" type characters. Despite never playing the game, I liked TF2 fanart, especially of Medic. I thought about other characters I'd fixated on, too, and what exactly I liked about them... Milo Thatch from Atlantis, Data from Star Trek, John from Homestuck, Sans from Undertale, Stanley and the Narrator from The Stanley Parable, Pokemon professors both Oak and Elm, Nightcrawler from X-Men, Wilson from House, Dr. Bashir from DS9... The list goes on, really.

I know this is kind of a non-answer, and I'm sorry about that. It isn't really a clear answer for me, either. All I can really say for sure is this: Avery is the embodiment of everyone and everything I've ever loved, as well as the reflection of my own self-love. Relatively speaking, we just met, but I feel like he's been here the whole time. I've made so many wonderful friends because of him, too! Can't say what the exact moment was, only that now that he's here, I can't imagine life without him. 💙

[nintendont2502]

thinking about heirstuck again and im making it everyones problem (more thoughts + image transcripts under the cut:)

[Image ID: a series of discord messages from discord user 'new nintendont ds(i). the messages read:

okay actually im gonna rant abt it in here for a while youve been arned *warned okay so its like. u got two kingdoms yeah. derse and prospit we all know this this is like the most basic generic homestuck fantasy au you can get each kingdom has the same succession structure where there are two thrones - the king and the queen. the rulers of the kingdom are chosen from the royal family, who for the most part just live as normal people in the kingdom (they dont even have the royal names), although most of them do know that they have royal blood (it means basically nothing, though) the only way for someone to ascend to the throne is to display magic, which usually happens in their teenage years - legends dictate that only the royal family is blessed with the capability for magic and only those deemed worthy of the crown will ever 'earn' that magic and display it, at which time theyre taken off to the castle to become heirs both kingdoms do the same thing where they have the two thrones - one male, and one female. this means the king and queen arent married (since theyre. yk. related), and anyone they do marry won't have a royal title. theyre just kinda there yk each throne also has its own traditional last name that the ruler and heir to the throne take - in derse, all kings or male heirs are striders, and all queens or female heirs are lalondes, while in prospit all males are egberts all females are harleys derses a little different when it comes to heirs - traditionally, once theyre found, theyre hidden away from te public all together until its time for them to take the throne. thats mostly bc derse has an unfortunate habit of uh. killing their heirs! theyve mostly calmed down now (mostly) but old traditions die hard yk derses honestly the most chill rn compared to prospit so im gonna start with them bc prospit just has. so fucking much going on

so you got the king and queen - dirk strider and roxy lalonde, prince of heart and rogue of void (classpects function differently here in that theyre only loosely tied to the royals powers, and are instead more a ceremonial title (and in derses case an old holdover from when they had to keep the heirs identities secret) and can represent how the people feel about their rulers, or can even contain veiled hints about their futures thanks to some seer bullshit im still workshopping it) - dirk is prince of heart because hes. yk. the prince of their hearts. the old king seemed very attatched to him even if they never met and that kinda rubbed off on the people. roxys title is more mysterious and no ones really sure what it means (including her), but its probably finee right the old king and queen were actually their respective parents! which is cool until you realise they both presented their powers fairly young and so had to be completely hidden away from them (even before that, their contact with their parents was limited bc of the whole secrecy safety of themand the throne thing yk). so that sucks. l bozo the old royals actually both died on the same exact day as the prospitian royals which only made tensions worse (oh yeah theyre at war. did i mention that. theyre at war the entire time) and then you got the heirs! rose lalonde, heir to the dersite throne - she manifested her powers through a vision that predicted an attack on the kingdom, whcih is also how she earned her title. shes heir apparent to the dersite throne and then theres dave. dave… doesnt actually have any powers? despite constant brutal training from his father (who was lowkey upset he never got called up to the throne), he's never manifested any magical abilites, and really shouldnt be here at all. he only went with rose to the castle because hes basically her unofficial guard (and also he just wanted to get away from his dad), and rose 'conveniently' happened to have another vision while at the castle of dave totally manfiesting powers eventually. did dirk and roxy believe that? probably not! but fuck if they were just going to turn the kids away yk - especially after rose vaguely implied that if dave left she was going with him. dave is the heir presumptive to the dersite throne, and the knight of time, referencing both his status as rose's guard and a (maybe slightly cruel) reference to how theyre waiting for his supposed powers to manifest and then prospit. sure is a place theyre a fucking mess dude

okay so old king and queen. you got king egbert who was… nice but kinda just there yk. no one really cared too much either way about him and then queen crocker! she was adopted when she was a baby, and so never knew that she was part of the royal bloodline - when she manifested her powers and took the throne, she refused to give up her last name, claiming it was an important part of her. this was… divisive, but she was a pretty good queen! people really liked her eventually, and her work in attempting to defuse the war was admirable. when she and king egbert died (on the same day and time as those filthy dersite royals, in a meeting she helmed to call for a ceasefire), the kigndom damn near rioted and marched on prospit themselves. the heirs to the throne really liked her too! shed spend hours telling them stories and having private training meetings with jane to fully prepare her for taking the throne - almost as if shed known what would happen speaking of jane and jake - wow theyre fucking messes! jane did the same thing as the former queen, and took the name Jane Crocker, instead of the traditional Jane Harley, to honour her. this was just as divisive, but with the kigndoms on the brink of allout war, the people didnt really have much time to focus on that. and if jane seemed to act… differently once she took the throne, well - that was probably just the stresses of ruling, right? especially at such an intense time. shes probably fine :) yk who isnt fine? jake! because of course he fucking isnt when he took the throne and became king jake egbert, page of hope, he was seen as the. well. hope that the kingdom needed at such a dark time - surely he would be the one to lead the kingdom away from war and into the light, right? …right? haha nope. instead one day he just completely disappeared, and rumour has it hes leading a cult on the outskirts between the two kingdoms, recruiting people from both - although if you ask the prospitian royals, theyd completely deny that (and if you ask jake, hed also deny that, and then ask if you want to join his totally-not-a-cult) great job guys and then the heirs are just. theyre going through it man jade harley, witch of space, heir apparent to the prospitian throne is. shes fine. shes so so so fine, and shes not at all worried about jane and jake and john, and not at all terrified that the kingdom is veering ever closer to war and she cant do anything ot stop it. shes great! shes fantastic and then john is. he sure is! heir of breath, heir ascending to the prospititian throne - any day now, he'll have to ascend and become John Egbert, king of prospit and he just. he really doesnt want to do that. hell, half the time he isnt even in the castle itself - he has no goddamn clue why, but something about it just feels wrong (spoiler alert - its gender. that girl is trans as hell). anyway hey remember the og queen crocker. man she was cool. crazy how her heirs kinda respectively lost it after she died (along with every other ruling noble in both kingdoms at t he exact same time). man that sucks. too bad shes not around! …yeah shes the condesce disguise time baybeeee

her whole thing was trying to drive the human kingdoms to war with each other so alternia could take them both out and trigger the reckoning, which is absolutely a great decision for everyone involved probably. she spent years manipulating the poeple of both kigndoms to think she was totally helping while secretly actually driving them closer and closer to war, and priming her heirs to both kinda go crazy and be shit rulers (jake was fed story after story of some great god for his hope to cling to, which made himc ompletely abandon ship to try and resurrect it, and jane was just raised to think exactly like condy and hten given an enchanted crown just in case. sucks to suck). killing the other nobles and faking her own death was basically the fuse that set everything off and everything continues to get worse! so whats jake doing with his silly little cult that absolutely wont have serious repercussions later on? trying to raise a dead god, of course! he spent years hearing stories about this powerful 'Lord English', who could only be summoned by a powerful figure of light oly known as 'Doc Scratch' - once LE was summoned, he would cleanse the world of darkness with his pure and cleansing light which totally isnt ominous at all nooo jake took on the name Jake English in honour of his god, and his followers keep calling him Doc Scratch or just Scratch, which he at first told them to stop doing bc smth smth sacriliege but eventually he kinda got into it - maybe he could be the Scratch that brings light to the kingdoms! he was meant to be the hope that saves them, after all - maybe he could end the war!! pro tip: never tell a hope guy about an all powerful god he will hyperfixate on it and lose his mind a lil so derses missing a heir, prospits missing a king and their queen is making… questionable decisions, and theyre both on the brink of war and being lead by a bunch of teenagers (oh yeah the royals are like. 19. and the heirs are 16) surely things cant get worse!!!! and then dirkjake happens

tfw some mysterious charismatic (hot as hell) guy that kinda sorta looks like the missing king but youre too distracted by his everything else shows up, tells you about all these issues youre facing that he really shouldnt know about, and then tells you he has the solution (and also hes hot and youre gay and aaa-) it takes a while, but eventually dirk (desperate to live up to his father and fix everything, and also gay as hell and talking to a cute guy), agrees to help the cult worshippers - and he has the highest honour! he gets to become the human host for their all powerful lord until they can fully channel him onto this plane of existence! isnt that incredible!!! so now derses also missing a king and theres a rogue god in a royals body running around that absoultely doesnt have the best intentions lets be real 'dirk' resurfaces for long enough to try and kill roxy (since the royals are the only one who can stop LE smth smth prophecy bullshit) so she fortifies the castle, tells the heirs to stay the fuck there and not leave, and then completely dips (rogue of void baybee shes going rogue to try and fix everything), and janes acting more and more off, and now four 16 year olds are effectively in charge of two kingdoms at the brink of war man that sucks"

discord user new nintendont ds(i) replies to a message from discord user The DPetter that says 'you love creating chaos' with 'i do !', before continuing their unhinged rant:

"anyway while all this is going on alternia is like. surpirsingly chill? probably because condys gone lets be real

like yeah they still have the caste structure, but its not as rigidly enforced right. the empress is gone, but since she isnt officially declared dead her heir (feferi) cant ascend to the throne, and so alternia is just kinda left drifting leaderless for. a while. eventually the enforced intercaste violence and culling and hatred slowly fades away - sure its still there, but its far less intense yk this is where karkat grows up, and weirdly kinda. hes not thriving yk but he doesnt have to wake up thinking hes gonna die. when his mutation eventually gets revealed, he gets a lot of shit for it, and some people treat him like shit (he gets ignored at stores or midlly attacked fairly freeuqently), but theyre past the point of just. killing on sight. yeah sure hes a freak with weird blood but thats not their business yk. theyre not just gonna kill him on the street for it. this is all tolerable and surviveable and fine - until condy randomly comes back one day! and suddenly everythings in full force - the caste structure is just as violently enforced as it once was, if not more so as the kingdom prepares for war, and now everyone knows about karkat being a mutant. so he just. leaves. hauls ass out of there before they can catch him, and heads to derse - either of the human kingdoms were probably his best bet, and condy knows the least about and has the least control over derse so. off he goes. he runs into dave and they have some davekat bullshit (alternias magical structure is different in that everyone has abilites because theyre trained to harness whatever latent magic they have - everyone except karkat, who doesnt have shit! he blames his mutation. everyone else blames his mutation. either of htose on their own would be a death sentence but with both hes fucked).

so yeah you got yaoi with the two powerless freaks bonding and also dave trying to hide a civilian from an enemy kingdom in the castle while its locked down, you got fucked up yaoi with dirkjake (tfw your boyfriend is also hosting your god youve been worshipping for years). you got yaoi eventually with rosemary because im love htem. you got trans june harley my fucking beloved. you got jane eventually getting over her brainwashing and kicking condys ass. you got three kingdoms about to kill each other and the complete wildcard of a rogue god also trying to kill everyone. no ones having a good time rn oh yeah also alternias big on the child soldier thing every troll is raised to be a potential soldier which is why they all have training for powers and titles that determine their role in society vs the human kingdoms which only allow the few selected royals to have magic (i think most humans could have magic if they were trained for it from birth oevr generations just like the trolls were (although culling non magical trolls definitely helps)) and then the themes etc etc hang on im gonna steal these from the doc 'not being able to live up to your percieved role/what you 'should' be - dirk looks up to the former king and tries his best to emulate him, dave is meant to be (and wants to be) heir to the derse throne but just cant do it, john is becoming (and really doesnt want to be) the king of prospit, karkat not manifesting powers like hes supposed to, jane not following the prospitian naming tradition like shes supposed to - hell even the kingdoms themselves cant live up to waht theyre supposed to be god idk theres something there. i just. a world where everyone is literally assigned a title describing what theyre supposed to be, and a theme of rejecting identities/assumptions imposed on you or failing to live up to those identites,,,, im too tired for this shit but its gonna haunt me for a while i think' thanks past me theres a big thing with the false dichotomy between the kingdoms too -theyre each more like w hat the other tries to pretned they are yk derse is all secrecy and backstabbing and logic but they allow a false heir simply because they dont want to seperate family and they all stay together even though they really shouldnt. prospit is warmth and openness and kindness but the royals barely talk to each other, and theyre all so blinded and divided by their own shit (and/or leaving to start cults) that most of them have no clue what the others hve going on anyway i think thats everything jesus christ its been 50 minutes"

the screenshots under the cut are from the same user in a different sever, now with the username 'technicalGraphicist [TG]', who says:

"i have a lot of thoughts abt the alternians actually!! theyre almost the complete opposites of the human kingdoms when it comes to classpects - im still trying to figure out how exactly they work, but while for the human royals your title is changed/created to suit who you are, for alternians your title is what you are - its given to you when you reach a certain age, and it dictates your role in society (obviously theres some grey areas there when it comes to how your caste interacts with your role - a bronzeblood is never going to be heir yk. its probably just a coincidence that the more important roles always go to the highbloods haha yeah definitely) im still trying to figure out how exactly alternian society is structured/how some of the roles work but very roughly its like: feferi - witch of life. official heir to the alternian throne, even if her title doesnt reflect that (fuschia overrules title - maybe theyre some controversy with her not having the correct title? hm. condy isnt a heir either shes a thief,, does she steal the throne? does anyone even remember the old queen? does this even matter?) eridan - prince. second in command (or would be, if feferi was queen, or kinda is since she kinda is?). imagining theres a. idk how to describe this without comparing it to aus' political structure - you got the queen (condy/feferi) and then the prime minister (eridan) that actually runs the place? smth smth that roles there for when the queen is off doing military shit or whatever equius - heir. second in command to the second in command. if eridan died hed be the prince. not sure which would be worse gamzee - bard. hes just. hes the court jester. he probably has some other role in how he ties into court functioning but im too tired to think about it rn yk vriska - thief. assigned criminal at birth /j intersting to think abt roles like this being government assigned and enforced, though - if the alternian military system was in full swing, i think shed probably be a spy for alternia (thief of light - stealing knowledge yk. not entirely sure how aspects tie into the titles but they definitely do) terezi - seer. seers are probably the most diverse when it comes to how their aspect impacts their class - like seers of heart are definitely the ppl to give classpect titles out yk. terezi again would probably be a spy role? or interrogating prisoners for information or smth yk. non militarised alternia terezis just chilling fucking around with vriska rn

kanaya - sylph. i dont. i dont actually know what a sylph is. google says its an imaginary spirit of the air whcih really doesnt help. smth smth the information division? similar to vrisrezi rk (actually kind works for a general structure - highbloods are court/command, midbloods are information and lowbloods are soldiers/physical work. hm) nepeta - rogue. same as vriska! definitely a lower tier though,, she probably just steals stuff instead of infiltrates for information. catburglar,,,,, karkat - knight. fancy title for soldier. kinda mirrors canon karkats thing with being obsessed with being a good soldier for the empress. lmao thats not gonna save you bud youre doubleculled (mutant and no powers). sollux - mage. rare exception to the 'lowbloods are gruntwork' rule. either in the nerdy information gathering section or its similar to canon where powerful psiionics are living batteries/weapons ( i dont think theyd have the tech to battery them so hes probably like. magic battery? hmmm. torn on this guy actually (fits the duality hteme. god i hate him)). potentially leaves after akrkat does when he realises that hes just gonna get batteried after alternia goes all military again tavros - page. serves knight. lesser soldier? would work under any knights (implies karkat actually had a decent role in the military which is interesting) aradia - maid. works in the castle. arafef friendship is real and true and amazing and equius continues to be weird to her."

end Image ID]

[clown-demon]

Follower Forever (part one)

Just wanna do one of these cuz I just??? Adore y'all... I may not have EVERYONE included cuz I had bad brain and Tumblr does NOT show all my followers when I want it.. cuz it sucks.. But under the read more I'll list a bunch of peeps that mean stuff to me, and then some peeps I WANT to know / admire / wish to talk to...

The besties: People who I deem as close friends / friends. People I chat to often.

@the-reddish-muse - You are my beeb. My wonderful beeb that I forever will cherish. I look forward to talking to you everyday. You're one of the bestest friends I have ever made. You def make my days brighter, even if we're just passing around pictures or something. I still LOVE our thread and our story we had going. You mean the world to me. You are a wonderful friend and I lobbu very much. You're in my mind a lot, and I am always wishing you the best. <3

-----

@nurturing-starlight - It's been like... two years since we've known each other? I KNOW we met when I started RPing Eleanor. I saw Damien on my dash and I'm like 'huh that's a cool character' and I followed and I NEVER REGRETTED IT. You are an AMAZING person, you are a talented artist and writer! I always look forward to seeing your threads on my dash. I LOVE and ADORE Nimue with all my heart. She's just such a well thought out OC, and I think it's amazing how you're able to mesh her so well with other verses. She's def one of my all time favorite OCs. I wanna squish her.

----

@pcrplevenom - You are the LONGEST moot I have had. We've been mutuals for AT LEAST seven years. I met you when I was on my Warden blog. And we've been mutuals ever since. You are one of my dearest friends and I love when we chat! I LOVE Soldan. I say it from time to time again, I have NEVER read Homestuck and I actually really do not like it?? (Had an ex constantly shove it down my throat and nag me.) But I adore your little troll you have. Also it's VERY admirable that you have stuck with a muse for SO long. I bounce a lot between muses but you have stuck to the same muse for YEARS. It really shows how much you love your character!

----

@blackstardiopside - YOU'RE a long time mutual too! We met when I got into Steven Universe and RPed Peridot! AAH I STILL ADORED OUR SHIP. I honestly love your little bean you have. She's so thought out and adorbs, I LOVE her design and her characterization! I also love when we chat! We don't chat as much anymore, but I still adore the times when we do! You're such nice and kind person, never forget that!

-----

@nulfy - I know we haven't like, known each other for very long. But you are someone I have warmed up VERY quickly to! I love chatting with you, although I sometimes get paranoid I am being a bother. .w. But you are a very kind person, I do NOT care what anyone else says about you-- you have proven me to me from time to time AGAIN that you are a kind and deserve all the love in the world. I absolutely HATE what has happened to you-- you do NOT deserve any of that shit. I only hope for the best for you, always. If you ever need someone to chat to-- my discord messages are ALWAYS open to you. Mwah!

----

@gonnachasethestars - IT HONESTLY FEELS LIKE WE'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR LONGER. Man I was SO happy when we exchanged discords cuz I REALLY wanted to talk to you! You are an EPIC writer, I love the detail you put into your writing! You REALLY give characters life! Kounosuke will ALWAYS have a special place in my heart because of you! You're one of my dearest friends and I will always cherish our friendship. <3

----

@lambfated - I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR A YEAR NOW. We met up the last time I RPed Narinder and that was like, a year ago. Man, time flies doesn't it? You are SUCH a lovely person and I ADORE all our interactions! I admire the fact you've stuck with ol Lamby for SO long and put so much detail into your character! You took a character with NO dialogue and turned them into something INCREDIBLE. Your Lamb will always be canon to me. I also adore when we chat, you're such a nice person! Zzzzz buddies!

----

@swordduels - You are probably one of the friendliest people I have met! You give off such energetic vibes and I LOVE it! You're so kind and I adore our chats! I love the fact you can strike up a convo with me at anytime! Cuz sometimes-- I just don't know how to reply??? And it fills me with joy when I see a message from you pop up!

----

@yoxngmadnxss - YOU'RE A long time mutual that I have had around for a few years! I LOVE the fact we've started to chat more!! You're SO much fun to talk to, and I am SO thrilled we talk now! You're such a talented writer, and I ADORE your art. I am SO excited to see more of your art for when you start digitally with a tablet! You're so kind and nice to me, it makes me SUPER happy. I love RPing with you all the time! And I love the fact you've stuck with me for so long! <3

[beangods]

14, 16, 18 and 20 for the homestuck questions.

14. Least favorite character?

eridan.

16. NOTP?

vriska x men. also dont like vriska x characters who are canonically men. stop fanoning your way into femslash when homestuck has a million billion compelling and bonkers canonically girl characters to smush together. ALSO rose or kanaya x men/canonical men come on now people we've been over this. if you want One Specific Ship i hate for no real reason though i dont really have one OH WAIT gamtav. tell me you dont actually give a shit about tavros without saying those words in that order. he was NOT reciprocating those advances leave him alone!!

18. Do you want Homestuck to just die already?

i wish the main comic had been wrapped up in a satisfactory conclusive way and that hs2/the epilogues either never existed or were likewise satisfactory and conclusive OR AT LEAST kept canon with the snapchat upd8s. i want them to bring back paradox space (official non-canon comics) and keep making merch forever and also for everyone with headcanons i personally dislike to leave the fandom and get really into something else instead.

20. Tell us how Homestuck has affected you in real life.

oh god. genuinely, homestuck completely shaped my adolescence and pop culture diet in extremely noticeable ways. i was one of those dave transmascs

i cosplayed vriska to school. i only really hit it off with my last ex when we started talking about homestuck. on 4/13 last year i almost passed up going to the club because i hadn't drawn any fan art yet. in fact part of why my sleep schedule is so fucked up is that for years i would stay up til 1-3am drawing homestuck fan art. indeed, the fact that i run two homestuck blogs impacts my schedule and daily routine significantly. i've given graded presentations on homestuck music in university. i still say "now we're cooking with petrol!" in real life. not only did i have moirails and auspistices and blackrom crushes in real life in middle school, i also, currently, as an adult, have someone in my life i consider my moirail. over half of my prosthetics, which i use in real sexual encounters, are tentacles, and You Know Why. my OC-verse has been radically shaped by homestuck (and the energy i spend on homestuck does NOT go to my OC-verse; before getting into the comic i thought i'd be a bestselling author by now). there is not a single area of my life that has not been touched by this webcomic. i will probably be buried with a scalemate plushie.

[hanjoj]

What series do you want to get into? Favorite act of homestuck? Fave artist?

Damn several in a row lets go I have an ongoing list of like 100 + series to get into I'm so bad at starting new shit hahaha. But! I've recently started listening to The Magnus Archives and I am thoroughly enjoying it. Jonathan Sims is an abused drama queen and it's also a good amount of spooky. I haven't gotten into any fanworks of it yet, I'm trying to wait that out a bit so I can sort of form my own ideas about it all.

Fave act, I think on my first read through (like 10 years ago lmao) I mostly liked the act 6 intermissions, I am a really sucker for meteorstuck and like the glimpses of the beta kids and trolls growing up.

But on rereads now I actually really enjoy the earlier acts the most, like when we're really only just getting into sburb! Like lot's of mysteries and nothing like really depressing has happened yet.

Fave artist is also very difficult, but like @thedoublepp is always exquisite in literally every piece and legit my main inspiration to start drawing fanart again at the beginning of last year. Thier Karkat inspires me A LOT okay!!

Also @alienbabydraws who always blow me the fuck away with everything he posts!!

Like I could go on but I think I'm just gonna link like some of the ones I follow and love in no particular order:

mineralteacup meruz  saradiation biouxp nightcigale  starsnores  phlegmykins  skounch indigonite  sarcasticmothdraws  applied-juice  Very possible I might have forgotten someone but could go on all day

[asymmetryestablished]

hi, this is completely out of the blue, but I found some of your old homestuck fic and noticed you tagged several of them with "wuzzles" including one tag that referenced reading "the wuzzles article" and I'm terribly curious about this whole thing. Soooo what are wuzzles and do you happen to still have the article you mentioned that talks about them??

ohhhh my gods what an ask to receive. you just made my day

the wuzzles tag is a reference to a tagging tutorial I read when I was first getting started on the Archive, back in 2014 or whatever. it was already out of date by the time I was reading it, so sometime between then and the end of my unplanned hiatus in 2020, the article was removed and/or updated, and the wuzzles were no more.

so far in my uhhhhh 8 years? of posting on AO3 I have not encountered a single other person who’s read that specific obsolete tagging tutorial. unfortunately, I don’t have a saved copy of it anywhere, either; seemingly its only legacy is my persistent use of “WUZZLES!” as a tag on basically every one of my fics. someone tech-savvier or more outgoing than I could perhaps track it down on the Wayback Machine or somesuch, or pester an Archive volunteer to see if they have an archived (hah) copy of it somewhere, but it’s not a priority for me.

the gist of the ‘wuzzles’ bit was that tags on AO3 were, at the time of writing, so unlike any other tag system on the internet that it would perhaps be more useful to call them something else entirely. like, for instance, ‘wuzzles’. and then later on there was a bit about how you could make absolutely anything into a wuzzle, including the word wuzzle itself, and you can see where the idea went from there. I’m still using it to this day; the last fic I posted was on, what, monday? and I included the wuzzles. it’s like my brand now.

thank you so much for the ask, and I hope you enjoyed the fics! I’m incapable of rereading them at this point, so if you did, I’ll have to trust your judgment 😂

[adiosterror]

Everything bad that ever happened in the canon, she's never really processed? If i had to guess

She's super stunted in her emotions and that's never really paid attention to in all the comic's years of running, just forcing her down this same cycle of bottle-it-up for eternity

(Warning! Im a selfshipper ehehe,, and homestuck tw since god damn its necessary with that comic, you dont have to read if you are uncomfortable with either of those things! Ty for letting me ramble though :) )

She's never once confronted all her trauma and everything horrible that happened to her and it's SO sad to think about,, the death of her father, literally the destruction of the entire world, having to spend three years just looking at that same color of god awful yellow

And if we're talking the epilogues and ^2, either she's a divorced father who just tries to make it by with a son who despises her, OR she's literally just dead. And her corpse is shoved in some chick's wallet in space.

A lot of my comfort when it comes to her is the thoughts of seeing her combat her fears and finally settling down to think through everything that happened in her childhood,, even if it takes years for her, I want to be there and give her the support she's needed for so long and that nobody gave to her

I don't want her to keep shoving everything down, she's so emotionally stunted that she doesn't even know who she is anymore, she's pulling her hair out to make sure all of her friends can stay alive because anything could happen at any given moment,, she's so tired and my heart aches for her honestly

Nobody's ever stopped to listen to her, she's never even had a resting moment to think about it,, she rambled with her sister in a frustrated rage but she only got annoyed with it

Even if someone offered to listen, I don't think she would go and pour her heart out anyway, she's not really like that? She'd probably shrug and just mumble that she doesn't know,, it'd take a long time of knowing and getting close to her to even dream about yanking all that out of her

I like to imagine slowly learning her body language and understanding when she's uncomfortable in a situation, or if she's starting to think about bad memories from the game,, i don't think you could 'fix her' or anything stupid like that, i just want to be there for her and let her know that she's seen and someone is there to listen to her

Everyone in canon just kind of sees her as this annoying ball of puberty when that's probably the last of her issues? She's so emotionally undeveloped, and at the rate her friendships are falling apart in her twenties, she'll stay that way for the rest of her seemingly immortal life, thinking that there's much more important things to worry about then how she feels and just feeling like an empty shell when there isn't

So so sorry, I'll shut up now lmao,, if you did get this far, get pranked, you just got john egberted

Hussie be damned, transitioning would've been a perfect milestone for starting her being able to finally focus on her own needs for the first time in her life

new tumblr game. put in the tags a GENUINE flaw your fav(s) has. cant be something like "too kind" or "loves too much" like something genuinely bad messed up morally wrong they are or have done

[moonlit-menagerie]

So what's happened since 2016? and about me sorta

I stopped reading Homestuck at the end of its final act before the Epilogue. After that, my life started taking another direction entirely, taking me away from tumblr. I'm mostly closeted about everything I do save for my especially close group of online friends, most of whom I've known for a decade; many of whom, I've actually gotten to meet up with in recent years. Most of my in-person friends know little about this.

It took online connections for me to eventually meet people that had similar things "wrong" with them as I do. I am a trauma survivor. I have multiple trauma-related disorders. I'll leave the details out, as I want to keep this as light as possible. I want to give an overview here, not explicit details.

I am a furry. I do not own a suit ((nor do I want one)), I do not have a "fursona", and I do not attend cons or meets. The fandom is known for being especially weird folks, and I am especially weird folks, so it works out just fine.

A few years ago, I had my own place with my at-the-time best friend. He turned out to not treat me that well, so after 5 years of living with him, I moved back with family for a bit. This was only a mere few months after my grandmother had passed.

I moved back on my own at the beginning of this year. I now live with my partner. Learning to share one's entire life comes with its own unique challenges that I have never previously experienced. I am still learning, albeit slowly. My therapist the last few years has been absolutely wonderful for us.

I have multiple comorbid disorders and managing their effects has been a continuing journey of challenges. No one is born with the skills and tools necessary to face these challenges - I had to learn a lot of what I know now over time and after repeating the same mistakes. I am grateful and thankful and understand that I am lucky to know what I know now, as many do not get the same opportunities that I lived through.

I spent six or so years out of the last decade working with mental health advocacy programs and outreach agencies in order to more properly develop a real understanding of mental illness in America. ((As a note here, please note I chose my words carefully, I said working WITH agencies, not working FOR agencies.)) It was truly a world/perspective-changing journey and opened my eyes to a lot of the struggles that people experience.

According to NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, a trusted resource for mental health related information, 1 in 5 adults in America ((just short of sixty MILLION)) struggles with mental illness in some form or another. Everyone knows someone who is struggling. Mental illness is a real fact of our everyday lives.

I have seen all sorts of people come and go in my lifetime. I have lost and gained friends, I have rediscovered myself countless times. My own definition of self is something that is dynamic, altering. It is pliable, changeable. I suppose that is better than being unable to learn and grow.

I am still at what seems to be yet another transitionary period in my life. Moving out and my partner moving in with me has shaken up my entire daily routine on a fundamental level. I am still working to adjust to the changes that have happened.

I am a pianist, self-taught and plays by ear, and for the last two years I have been uploading recordings of my playing to YouTube under the username Moonlit_Maestro. I used to nearly exclusively play music from a Japanese game series known as Touhou Project, but I've been branching out a lot more in the last half a year.

Anyway, I am gonna leave it at that for my first real post back. We'll see how this post fares and if nothing explodes then I might make a fair few more like this.

[fictionkinfessions]

very long and unformated + typing quirk warning iiiiiii have 7 kintypes and 5 of which are fictotypes (the other two are \@ cat named silver and \@ crow that never had \@ name) so iiiiiii feel like rambling about myyyyyyy versions of the canons from each one (not the crow or silver though just the fiction ones cus this is fictionkin confession blog lolllllll) myyyyyyy first fictotype iiiiiii discovered was leafy from BFDI when iiiiiii was leafy iiiiiii had purple freckles and \@ tail and yellow blush for the main one (ive been leafy multiple times but only one really has any kinmemories associated with it because idk what the other leafys were yet) and as leafy iiiiiii was isolated in yoyleland for years but it was fine (it wasnt) and iiiiiii had to eat yoyleberries the whole time so iiiiiii was metal \@ lot but it weighed meeeeeee down so much and made meeeeeee agitated so people thought iiiiiii was mean because of that (and well stealing dream island but like firey who was myyyyyyy brother in myyyyyyy canon didnt let meeeeeee on because of a ferris wheel with lava I DIDNT WANT TO BURN ALIVE DUMB IDIOT /silly but let everyone else onto the island even the person who was his archenemy at the time (although near the end of that life according to myyyyyyy brother who was probally the firey also according to him in that life coiny and him got together) also yoyleberries tasted sweet at first but they get bitter the more you eat them and eventually start tasting like blood and it sucked pretty sure recovery centers eventually all died in that life somehow and idk why that specific canon had no algebraliens (bfb never was \@ thing in that life although some things from bfb happened at some point eg: the part where gelatin was pressuring meeeeeee to fight firey which normally would be fine but the thing is that when iiiiiiim told to fight someone its not the same ):< myyyyyyy second fictotype iiiiiii discovered was \@ (homestuck) troll named lynkia felika, iiiiiii was \@ cerulean blood troll who just spent most of myyyyyyy time laying around listening to music (idk why but in that life karkat was \@ music artist) and watching random series but then died from alternia just exploding which iiiiiiim guessing is from the same reason as the typical canon but not entirely sure because obviously iiiiiiim not going to know stuff outside of myyyyyyy knowledge in that life) and iiiiiii had 3 pupils next is \@ clockmatic shipchild named Handy but like it shares the same canon as another fictotype but the other one was from another time and in this one iiiiiii just came down from the sky because if algebraliens love eachother (animatic was an algebralien in disguise ill get to that later) enough \@ baby just spawns in as \@ full grown adult and iiiiiii remember animatic disguising that they were \@ an algebralien and teaching meeeeeee how as well because algebraliens were forced to be pets (they had paws in that canon and for people/the objects in that canon suck sometimes but iiiiiii remember seeing protestors on the tv sometimes so there were people on my side) iiiiiii also had \@ friend in that life unlike the leafy and lynkia life (it sucked being lonely) the friendos name was gum (gum was part algebralien part not because she somehow was both she never explained to meeeeeee how) probally died of old age in that life but iiiiiiim not sure and 983 who was in the same canon as the last one iiiiiii talked about but like maybe about 50 years after handy and like the algebraliens as pet thing was old news but it was in history books at school iiiiiii remember myyyyyyy parents in that life were 47 and 936 btw 983’s colors were green purple and yellow iiiiiii was actually fairly popular in that life but never really got attached to everyone

then the last one which is \@ nightmare sans who acts WAYYYYY different from canon and was addicted to weed (IDEK) and could access the doodlesphere somehow but \@ lot of the kinmems from that life are unreliable because iiiiiii was \@ bit too chaotic in that life and something with meeeeeee is having like \@ mental self which is like the meeeeeee iiiiiii am in myyyyyyy dreams and myyyyyyy mental self is very staticy, has features from each of myyyyyyy fictotypes and kintypes and the left eye is yellow and the right is blue and myyyyyyy mental self can shapeshift into each individual kin/fictotype or \@ metal ball or metal puddle

[translation]

i have 7 kintypes and 5 of which are fictotypes (the other two are a cat named silver and a crow that never had a name) so i feel like rambling about my versions of the canons from each one (not the crow or silver though just the fiction ones cus this is fictionkin confession blog lolllllll)

my first fictotype i discovered was leafy from BFDI when i was leafy i had purple freckles and a tail and yellow blush for the main one (ive been leafy multiple times but only one really has any kinmemories associated with it because idk what the other leafys were yet) and as leafy i was isolated in yoyleland for years but it was fine (it wasnt) and i had to eat yoyleberries the whole time so i was metal a lot but it weighed me down so much and made me agitated so people thought i was mean because of that (and well stealing dream island but like firey who was my brother in my canon didnt let me on because of a ferris wheel with lava I DIDNT WANT TO BURN ALIVE DUMB IDIOT /silly but let everyone else onto the island even the person who was his archenemy at the time (although near the end of that life according to my brother who was probally the firey also according to him in that life coiny and him got together) also yoyleberries tasted sweet at first but they get bitter the more you eat them and eventually start tasting like blood and it sucked pretty sure recovery centers eventually all died in that life somehow and idk why that specific canon had no algebraliens (bfb never was a thing in that life although some things from bfb happened at some point eg: the part where gelatin was pressuring me to fight firey which normally would be fine but the thing is that when im told to fight someone its not the same ):<

my second fictotype i discovered was a (homestuck) troll named lynkia felika, i was a cerulean blood troll who just spent most of my time laying around listening to music (idk why but in that life karkat was a music artist) and watching random series but then died from alternia just exploding which im guessing is from the same reason as the typical canon but not entirely sure because obviously im not going to know stuff outside of my knowledge in that life) and i had 3 pupils

next is a clockmatic shipchild named Handy but like it shares the same canon as another fictotype but the other one was from another time and in this one i just came down from the sky because if algebraliens love eachother (animatic was an algebralien in disguise ill get to that later) enough a baby just spawns in as a full grown adult and i remember animatic disguising that they were a an algebralien and teaching me how as well because algebraliens were forced to be pets (they had paws in that canon and for people/the objects in that canon suck sometimes but i remember seeing protestors on the tv sometimes so there were people on my side) i also had a friend in that life unlike the leafy and lynkia life (it sucked being lonely) the friendos name was gum (gum was part algebralien part not because she somehow was both she never explained to me how) probally died of old age in that life but im not sure

and 983 who was in the same canon as the last one i talked about but like maybe about 50 years after handy and like the algebraliens as pet thing was old news but it was in history books at school i remember my parents in that life were 47 and 936 btw 983’s colors were green purple and yellow i was actually fairly popular in that life but never really got attached to everyone

then the last one which is a nightmare sans who acts WAYYYYY different from canon and was addicted to weed (IDEK) and could access the doodlesphere somehow but a lot of the kinmems from that life are unreliable because i was a bit too chaotic in that life

and something with me is having like a mental self which is like the me i am in my dreams and my mental self is very staticy, has features from each of my fictotypes and kintypes and the left eye is yellow and the right is blue and my mental self can shapeshift into each individual kin/fictotype or a metal ball or metal puddle

x