#as someone who literally takes care of EVERYONE

[cuntwrap--supreme]

My office is already short people. We have 17 routes and 17 carriers. We have 3 people to fill in for off days, sick days, etc. I work 6, sometimes 7, days a week because there aren't enough route subs to cover everyone being gone. We're desperate for people, and often pull a guy from an office an hour away because they're the only ones willing to send us people. I'm running, on average, 1.5 mail routes per day. My checks are nice, but it's taking a toll on my mental health. Cutting more people means I'm working even more, means I have even less free time, means I'm that much closer to being the next person to "go postal."

I work in a pretty rural area, too. For some it's easy to get into town and whatnot. For a good chunk, they're disabled and can't leave home easily, in part because of the disability and in part because their driveways are ass. For those people, without the postal service, they're not gonna get their meds. People won't get their bills or checks or letters from friends they can't go see. There's one kid in particular who lives in a busted old trailer straight up a mountain who comes to the box any time I'm on that route wondering if he has any mail from his friends across town, because he only leaves home to go to school and looks forward to the letters. I know old folks whose only interactions with the outside world are their daily newspapers and chatting up the mailman. I know a woman in a wheelchair whose ex husband left when she became disabled who can't leave home easily because she doesn't have the money to make her car drivable in her condition, so she gets almost everything she needs through the mail. I know a mentally handicapped man who watches through his window for the mail truck so he can come chat us up because his family mostly ignores him. It's not just mail. It's the only social interaction a lot of people get. It's their only connection to the outside world.

Furthermore, literally all of us can't stand DeJoy. Right, left, black, white. Doesn't matter. Everyone I've ever met in the post offices hates that man. After that CEO got shot, the office conversation was, "Fuck, that guy who shot him couldn't have had beef with the post office and gone after DeJoy? Maybe someone else will. We're tired of that stupid cunt!" We recently had to watch a video of DeJoy as part of a morning safety talk and like 2 seconds in one of the clerks mutes the video and said, "He's saying some dumb bullshit that no one cares about. The end!" and not even our super strict post master had much to say about it.

Everyone's been telling me that the cuts DOGE has been planning will only be post masters. That they'll have one person running 3 offices and have supervisors doing most of the work. And sure, maybe that's ok in some places. But management in my office works constantly. They're never not there. But if you're cutting 10k people, that's a lot more than just post masters and extraneous supervisors. That's carriers. That's clerks. That's making more people overworked and stressed and making more people who operate a big fucking truck lose sleep, that's making the job more dangerous. I've only been doing this job for about a year, but it's honestly the only job I've ever had that I don't mind. It stresses me the fuck out, but I don't hate the work and the pay allows me to survive without a roommate (even if money is kinda tight). The insurance is cheap because it's a government job, meaning I can take care of my health. They currently match up to like 5% of your income that's put into a retirement fund. Once in a career position, your student loans disappear after 10 years of service, so long as you've been paying on them. 20 years served is retirement. You don't get any of that if shit goes private. Wages will go down. Volume will go down. People won't be getting their mail unless they pay $15/mo or some shit.

This isn't a job that's meant to be for profit. It's meant to get mail to people. It's a fucking public service, not a for profit business. Does it need changes? Fucking absolutely. But gutting the already short staffed offices isn't the change needed. We need unions that represent us and don't roll over for shit like DOGE. We need trucks that aren't 40 years old and run. We need maintenance that doesn't laugh at you and leave when you request new tires because yours are literally completely bald. This job is all I have right now. It's my only chance to get ahead. If that's compromised, I might be the next person to go postal. In Minecraft, of course.

Source

Source

[hrrtshape]

　　the great hall dining guide : five stars or food poisoning? 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　back to the masterlist　

no hunger in hogwarts. the great hall is an empire of excess, a temple to the art of never saying no to seconds (or sevenths). the long house tables are stacked with plates that fill and refill as if controlled by some benevolent, slightly overbearing god-parent who cannot fathom the concept of "i'm full."

hi, i'm emma, i shifted to my marauders dr, i'm here to yap.

　❛❛ when to show up ?

breakfast :  starts at 7:00 am, but nobody with a sense of self-preservation gets there at the crack of dawn unless they have quidditch practice or are a first-year who still thinks hogwarts runs on a logical schedule. prime time is 7:30–8:30 am, when the food is still hot and everyone is too groggy to engage in unnecessary morning conversations. if you come after 9:00 am, expect half-warm toast and a few sad sausages.

lunch :  served from 12:30 pm to 1:30 pm. 12:30 is the best time if you want first dibs on everything, but the best people-watching happens closer to 1:00 pm when people start arguing over last-minute essay deadlines. if you’re running late and slide in at 1:25 pm, good luck – you’re getting whatever’s left.

dinner :  6:00 pm sharp, ends at 8:00 pm. 7:00 pm is the sweet spot – not too early that you look overeager, not too late that you get the rejected drumsticks and a dubious slice of treacle tart. sitting down at 7:45 pm means you're scavenging for whatever scraps are left like a victorian orphan.

　❛❛ where to sit ?

slytherin table :  best for hushed scheming, power lunches, and exchanging contraband under the table. do not sit here if you can’t handle judgmental side-eyes while buttering your bread.

ravenclaw table :  ideal for finishing homework mid-meal. also where people pretend they’re above caring about gossip while actively eavesdropping on every conversation. the back half of the table is safer if you don’t want to hear someone dissecting 17th-century wandlore at 8 am.

gryffindor table :  loud. expect at least one person standing on the bench telling a story that is objectively not that funny. best if you enjoy chaotic meal settings or want to be involved in something ridiculous before you’ve even finished your juice.

hufflepuff table :  safest bet for a peaceful meal, but you will 100% be roped into sharing your food. the friendliest seating arrangement, but also the most likely to involve a group discussion about everyone’s day when you just wanted to eat in silence.

professor’s table :  do not sit here unless you have a death wish.

　❛❛ what to eat (and avoid) .

best breakfast items :  the porridge is solid (literally, if you come too late), but the best move is the warm croissants with honey. also, the lemon & apple pasties are basically a cheat code if you want to smuggle food out for later.

lunch must-haves :  steak and kidney pie is better than you’d expect. if there’s a soup option, proceed with caution, half the time it’s delicious, half the time it’s some medieval potion that smells like a transfiguration accident.

dinner essentials :  roast anything is good, but the yorkshire puddings are a religious experience. also, the treacle tart is worth elbowing someone for.

what to avoid :  the questionable fish dishes. boiled meant. you don’t know where that’s coming from, and you don’t want to. also, anything neon-colored. if it looks like it belongs in a potions class, it probably does.

　❛❛ general survival tips .

don’t drink the pumpkin juice if you’re not in the mood for it. it’s literally everywhere, and by week three, you will hate it.

bring your own condiments if you care about flavour. hogwarts food is good, but nobody in this castle has heard of seasoning unless it's one of those other-culture-nights.

do not, under any circumstances, take the last dinner roll unless you want to start an inter-house war.

sitting too close to the staff table means your meal comes with a free ethics lecture from mcgonagall. proceed with caution.

　　q & a .

　❛❛ what is breakfast like .

if you’ve never had breakfast in the great hall, you’ve never truly lived. that’s not hyperbole, that’s just the facts.

and the thing is,,,,,, it wasn’t just about the food. it was about the ritual. it was about getting there early, half-asleep and draped over the table, while the house elves sent up silver platters of steaming porridge and eggs and enough bacon to make even the most dedicated vegetarian question their life choices. it was about the lazy hum of morning gossip, about james and sirius trying to one-up each other with increasingly absurd breakfast combinations (once, i watched sirius put marmalade on a sausage. we don’t talk about it).

breakfast started early, before the sun had fully stretched its arms, and ended when the professors decided we were done loitering. if you weren’t there by the time mcgonagall sat down, you were basically on borrowed time.

　❛❛ what is lunch like .

lunch at hogwarts was less of a meal and more of a tactical battle. the great hall would be an absolute warzone of students rushing in from classes, half of them looking like they’d barely survived whatever horrors had just unfolded in transfiguration.

the food appeared at exactly midday, no earlier, no later. if you showed up late, you were fighting for scraps, and by scraps, i mean you’d be left with 99 choices for meals instead of 100. scarcity, i know.

lunch was also prime time for food theft. you could be having an entirely normal conversation and, in the blink of an eye, your pumpkin pasty would be gone. sirius was the undisputed king of this, the man had the reflexes of a thief in victorian london. i once watched him steal an entire shepherd’s pie from remus’s plate without breaking eye contact. it was both terrifying and awe-inspiring.

　❛❛ what is dinner like .

hogwarts dinners were the closest thing to divinity i’ve ever known. long wooden tables overflowing with everything you could possibly want: roast chicken, yorkshire pudding, steak, treacle tart so good it made you believe in love again. it was opulence, it was luxury, it was the kind of meal you dream about when you’re in some sad, muggle diner trying to convince yourself that soggy chips and watery gravy are ‘fine.’

　❛❛ special occasions .

feast days at hogwarts were another level. halloween, christmas, the end-of-year banquet, these were events. these were festivals of indulgence. the house elves pulled out all the stops: whole roast turkeys, mountains of roast potatoes, rivers of rich, golden gravy, cauldron cakes stacked like towers. desserts that defied logic and probably several laws of nature. on halloween, the hall was covered in floating pumpkins and eerie green light, and the food had a vaguely chaotic energy to match (one year, the treacle tarts actually screamed when you bit into them. highly unsettling, but still delicious).

christmas dinner was something else entirely. it was warm and glowing and endless. crackers snapped, jokes were told, and dumbledore drank enough mead to make even him slightly ridiculous. it was the kind of meal you thought about for the rest of your life. it was family, it was home.

　❛❛ what’s the deal with house-elves?

the hogwarts kitchen operates with the ruthless efficiency of a five-star hotel run by creatures legally bound to service.

a hundred or so house-elves live below the castle, working in near invisibility, preparing all meals and sending them up through enchanted pathways that deposit dishes straight onto the great hall tables. you cannot see the elves. you do not hear them. but you know they exist, like the wizarding world's most overworked stage crew.

you can also visit them in the kitchens. they're nice, say hi.

　❛❛ can you request food?

hogwarts was a lot of things, but it was not a restaurant. if you wanted something specific, you either made a pilgrimage to the kitchens and begged the house elves (a move so shameful it had to be done in absolute secrecy. or if you like....really, really, really charmed them) or you suffered in silence. sirius, of course, once tried to get the great hall to serve "a proper fry-up" at dinner, only to be met with silence and what i can only describe as deeply offended energy from the floating candles.

but somehow, it didn’t matter. because the food was already perfect. and now, i have to live knowing that no meal will ever come close to a great hall dinner. it’s fine. i’m fine. i’ll just sit here, eating my disappointing, mortal food, and pretend my soup isn’t deeply depressing.

　❛❛ what about drinks?

again, pumpkin juice. an obsession, a tyranny, a strange fixation. every meal, every table, a seemingly infinite supply. there is also water, milk (cold, in small glass jugs, looking like something out of a victorian schoolhouse), and for the older students at special occasions, a sweet, non-alcoholic mead that tastes like it wants to be alcoholic but isn’t. butterbeer, tragically, is an off-campus luxury.

　❛❛ is there a meal schedule? like certain things on certain days? or do they just pile every type of food on the table?

hogwarts operates on a structured but generous meal plan. weekday breakfasts, always got your staples. porridge, toast, eggs, bacon, sausages, and the occasional wizarding oddity like blood pudding for the particularly cursed among us. but sundays are for extravagant brunch spreads. croissants. kippers. jams that taste like childhood summers. it’s as if the house-elves know that sunday means stress, existential whatever, dread, so they soften the blow with flaky pastry.

lunch is always dependable, usually soups and sandwiches or something hearty if you’ve got a double potions period ahead. dinner, though, is where the patterns emerge. mondays are classic british, shepherd’s pie, roast beef, yorkshire pudding. tuesdays are usually a little more continental, pastas, stews. fridays are always a feast, usually something big and festive. then you have the seasonal changes: october brings pumpkin-infused everything, winter means more roasts, few first weeks of summer term leans into fresher, lighter meals. but yes, the mainstay staples are always available. if you want treacle tart on a wednesday, it will be there.

　❛❛ there’s wizard candy and drinks, but is there any other food? i’m sure at some point wizards put magic in any food they could think of just to see what would happen.

oh, absolutely. you’re thinking like a true hogwarts student. you know someone, at some point, tried to put magic into a loaf of bread just to see if it would slice itself (it did, but then it also tried to slice other things). beyond the standard chocolate frogs and pumpkin juice, wizarding cuisine includes a fair bit of magically enhanced food. firewhisky actually warms your throat as it goes down. fizzing whizzbees lift you half an inch off the ground. there are soups that change flavour as you eat them, pies that hum lullabies if you’re up late studying. and don’t even get me started on the experimental drinks at the three broomsticks, someone once ordered a 'black hole brew' and forgot what year it was for a full hour. but the cuisine is basically muggle...just hexed.

　❛❛ do the meals cater to dietary restrictions?

100%. vegans, vegetarians, allergy-havers. you’re covered. a muggleborn slytherin from third year complained about the lack of plant-based options, and the next morning, an entire section of the breakfast table was dedicated to oat milk, tofu scramble, and wizarding equivalents of nutritional yeast. hogwarts may be stuck in some medieval ways, but food evolves.

　❛❛ what happens if you miss a meal?

if you’re lucky, a friend grabs you something before the food vanishes. if you’re unlucky, you’re breaking into the kitchens like a desperate raccoon. the house-elves don’t mind, though, if you’re polite, they’ll feed you like a long-lost child. if you’re rude, they’ll 'accidentally' give you a soup that turns your tongue blue for a week.

　❛❛ is there coffee?

yes, but it’s wizard coffee. stronger than espresso, borderline narcotic. one cup and you’re writing your entire transfiguration essay in ten minutes. two cups and you can see through time.

　❛❛ how do holiday feasts work?

absolute carnage. christmas and halloween feasts are legendary. enchanted decorations, endless courses, puddings that explode into confetti when you cut into them. the easter feast is basically a chocolate overdose. sometimes on valentine’s day the desserts start murmuring love poetry. dumbledore's delighted. everyone..... horrified.

　❛❛ is there a limit to how much you can eat?

only in the sense that your body is a fragile, mortal thing. the food itself is infinite. the house-elves could, in theory, keep producing it indefinitely. but, you know, you eat four servings of steak-and-kidney pie and you’re just going to be that person in the common room later.

　❛❛ do different houses have different food preferences?

subtly, yes. the great hall offers everything, but certain tables lean into certain dishes. gryffindors love big, hearty, comforting food. ravenclaws lean into the more intricate, delicate meals, think pastries and complex soups. slytherins have an eye for the finer things, often going for the more gourmet options. hufflepuffs love food that feels like a hug: freshly baked bread, warm pies, things that remind you of home.

　❛❛ are there midnight snacks?

not officially, but yes. common rooms have snack stashes. and if you’re clever (or just have the marauder’s map, wink wink), you can always sneak down to the kitchens. the house-elves will feed you, no questions asked. some students take it a step further and befriend the house-elves outright. those students never go hungry.

　❛❛ how does the food appear? is it just magic or is there a system?

magic, but with logistics. the food is prepared in the kitchens directly beneath the great hall, then it’s levitated up and appears on the tables at the precise moment it’s ready. no waiting, no serving, just instant gratification. it’s dangerously efficient.

　❛❛ how does hogwarts source its food? is it all local, or do they magically import things?

combination of both. they have magical greenhouses and farms for most fresh ingredients, but certain things, exotic spices, imported sweets, get brought in magically.

　❛❛ are there ever surprise meals? do the house elves ever just decide to switch things up randomly?

sometimes, if there’s an occasion or they just feel like it. but the menu is largely set because consistency is part of the magic.

　❛❛ are meals ever used as punishment? do detention students get different food or are they made to help the house elves prepare meals?

not officially, but some professors (like astronomy) have been known to send students to do menial kitchen work as a form of discipline. nothing cruel, just hours of potato peeling.

　❛❛ has there ever been a kitchen-related disaster? a spell gone wrong, a cauldron explosion, a food fight?

yes, frequently !!!! misfired enlarging spells, self-chopping vegetables getting too enthusiastic, enchanted ladles starting fights. house elves keep it under control, but it’s not unheard of for a whole batch of treacle tart to suddenly gain sentience and try to unionise.

[prlssprfctn]

A fun little headcannon is that everyone believes Jason to prefer paperback and physical paper but he honestly doesn't care. Maybe it stems from his Robin days reading for hours in the manor library. Or how'd he always tell Bruce to write down the details of the case to solve it faster. Or even that they needed to have physical copies of each file in case the Batcomputer got hacked. It just stuck with Bruce and by extension everyone believes it.

But like he would totally love an eReader with how many books you can fit on it. Audio books are even better because he can listen to them anywhere. The man likes the stories people have to tell. How he consumes it isn't a concern. But of course he has a flare for dramatics so he plays into this misconception.

Steph: Jason, I know you'd prefer a physical book but I got a Kindle that you could use more than me.

Jason who already owns the newest model takes it and chucks it at the floor: Disgusting.

Tim at the Batcomputer: Why do we need to write up a report for Condiment King of all people. Its the third one this month!

Jason: Back in my day we would hand write each and every report.

Dick: No we didn't???

Jason magically pulling out a file cabinet with said case files.

Jason: Honestly we should start doing that again let me go ask Bruce.

Bruce: Honestly if you'd wait five more minutes someone would have come in as backup. You don't need to do everything on your own Hood.

Jason completely ignoring him because he's got books downloaded on his helmet.

Damian next to him knowing what Jason is up to because he did the exact same thing with Ra's.

YES, YES!

i think Jason loves paperback when it is his already favourite books, the ones he knows he loves and wants to annotate and explore — otherwise, he prefers to try books in e-version first. or borrow books from the library if he is in the mood. he strikes me as someone who loves supporting local libraries! plus, listens audio-books on missions and during work-outs, yep, yep.

do other family members have a wrong opinion in that in their minds because Bruce is the "heard my kid mentioning something once, now i think their whole personality evolves around this thing" type of parent sometimes? oh, fucking absolutely. does Jason love to play on the stereotype of "boomer" sibling? yeah— lol.

also, he is a type of kid who would remind the teacher about homework (i think he genuinely cared about this as a kid and didn't understand why everyone got mad, but now he knows WHY, and he will do it EVERYONE'S problem) and combined with him, writing reports on papers, i raise you this:

Bruce, tired by the end of the patrol: Had we discussed everything? Hadn't I forgotten something?

literally everyone but Jason, quickly: no, no, we are fine. ha-ha.

Jason, appearing behind them: well. actually. we all now should write our reports.

Bruce: oh, right.

Jason, smirking: here is mine, by the way. i wrote it while you are all was bickering.

Bruce: so competent! thank you, lad.

Other kids, fuming: -_-

also, the image of Jason blasting audio-books through his helmet is frying me. so, get this:

Dick: Jason is so suspiciously calm for the last few days! like, seriously. proud of him.

Tim: right? it is actually hilarious. Bruce was screaming at him yesterday, and Jason was just staring at him silently, no word, no remark... he was so quiet that Bruce instantly felt bad and apologised. like. master-tecnique. lol.

Jason, who was listening to audio-book all this time, and didn't even hear what Bruce said, just nodded when he started randomly hugging him and murmuring "my baby": whatever.

[starcurtain]

Some Notes on Mydei's Characterization (Part 1)

I'm already tired of seeing Mydei slander (if I have to read "He's a brawn over brains berserker who just cares about fighting" one more time, I might actually die), so I thought I'd put together some quick notes on what canon has to say about Mydei's character. Please note this post contains only my own interpretations of canon material; not everyone will interpret scenes in the same manner.

Starting with some of the most off-base stuff I've seen first:

1. Being Capable of Violence is Not the Same as Being Violent

Mydei's trailer and his role in the story both confirm that he is capable of extreme acts of violence. When it comes to battle, multiple people--Eurypon and Phainon, for example--refer to Mydei specifically as a "beast," rather than a person. In his character stories, we're told that he was such a ferocious predator in the Sea of Souls that even monsters stopped coming near him, and in another of his character stories, he's described as tearing the throat out of an opposing enemy who had an army a thousand men strong. It is a basic and unavoidable fact of Mydei's character that he is capable not only of killing but of killing in egregiously brutal ways, literally tearing his enemies apart with his bare hands.

Mydei will fight, he will cause harm, and he will kill--whenever it is necessary to do so.

But there is an extreme world of difference between being capable of violence and actually being a violent person, and Mydei has shown, in both word and deed, that he is an inherently gentle character who, if given the option, would prefer to choose the path of least harm.

Over and over, the devs hit us players with the idea that Mydei's actual nature is one that abhors needless violence. We see this from his first character story, where Mydei--despite being thrown into the Sea of Souls as an infant, despite fighting every single day of his childhood just to survive--is described as saving drowning fishermen with no reward. Even the author of the legend points out the incongruity of this choice, saying "Why would a Kremnoan ever bother to save others?"

Remember that this is a Mydei who has had literally no human contact. He has no frame of reference for even the concept of generosity. If we take his story seriously, then despite being effectively feral at this point in time, his innate reaction to seeing others in danger was simply to provide aid. Even when his own survival was the only thing he had experience with, he still chose to selflessly save others, with no motivation other than the fact that benevolence appears to be his core nature.

Reinforcing this idea that Mydei is an inherently gentle person, there's the memory in Castrum Kremnos where an unknown someone asks Mydei what his dream is, with the only acceptable options being different combat roles. But Mydei's answers are charmingly abstract instead--young Mydei doesn't want to be a soldier and bring harm to others, he wants to be a wanderer or even a "beam of light."

(Saw some interesting talk linking this "beam of light" with Kephale recently too. I'm very interested to see whether the upcoming patches will tie these connections together or if we're all just reading too much into things lolol.)

3.0's plot hammered this home as well, with Mydei continually disputing Aglaea's mission requests; Aglaea says that sending too many Chrysos Heirs to fight Nikador would be a waste (in case they end up dying), to which Mydei responds that there's no point in needlessly risking people's lives.

Even the 3.0 side quests repeat this message, with one Kremnoan NPC, Aelius, noting that an assassin tried to murder him on his first day in Okhema. Instead of responding with force, as might be justified by the severity of the crime, Mydei--brand-new to Okhema and their ways himself!--still chose diplomacy, and went to the Council of Okhema to legally ensure the Kremnoan people's safety, instead of directly seeking vengeance.

Even a small scene in Kremnos's ruins gives the devs an opportunity to show that Mydei prefers to exhibit aggression only when threatened first: As the Trailblazer and Co. wander through the Soul-Forging Zone, the group meets a half-crazed titankin. Obviously it poses a danger and could become a more serious threat in an instant, but Mydei doesn't offer it any resistance. It isn't violent with him, so he has no reason or motivation to be violent with it... as opposed to Phainon, whose first reaction is immediately to attack.

(If you choose to kill it, by the way, Mydei scolds Phainon and the Trailblazer, effectively calling them bloodthirsty executioners...)

When Krateros attempts to manipulate Mydei using Mydei's mother's wishes, urging him to continue the cycle of domination in Kremnos, Mydei stops him cold by pointing out that (like Mydei who inherited her beliefs) he knows Gorgo was opposed to violence for violence's sake:

Then, of course, there's the entire deal about refusing the crown of Kremnos, breaking his people's endless cycle of violent lives and even more violent deaths and repeatedly refusing Nikador's power because Mydei had no desire to become Strife. Despite revering his people's god for what Nikador was supposed to be--the guardian who sacrificed everything to protect Amphoreus--the game repeatedly tells us that Mydei sees Kremnos's cultural tradition of conquest as a meaningless waste of life, glorifying cruelty for no reason and bringing nothing but harm to the Kremnoans and Amphoreus as a whole.

Mydei fought hard to not become the demigod of Strife. At every turn, he was pressured and manipulated by others against his expressly stated wishes, and ultimately was left with no choice but to accept the destiny forced upon him despite clearly longing for a different, gentler life. Although I'll talk more about this later, the fact that Mydei even went so far as to change his name among the Chrysos Heirs shows us just how intensely he was trying to separate himself from his own past and from Kremnos's bloody history. Mydei wanted to be a person, yet in the end, he was forced back into being a beast, into becoming the symbol of violence, the very thing that took everything good from his life.

(This isn't a shipping post, but Phainon's efforts to take on Nikador's coreflame can be read to at least some extent as a rescue attempt--despite himself believing that Mydei was the better fit for Strife, Phainon saw how sincerely Mydei did not want to take the coreflame trial, and at least in small part, Phainon did take on the trial to spare Mydei from that inevitability. Personally, I think this failure will eventually be one of the linchpins that brings Amphoreus crumbling down, because Phainon was supposed to be everyone's hero, but just like Cyrene, he failed to save Mydei.)

I've seen some people debating this idea that Mydei is not a violent person by pointing out that Phainon calls him "reckless when he gets the urge to kill." In 3.0, Phainon implies that Mydei could even hurt other people with his recklessness in battle. But... we have never seen Mydei ever bring any harm in battle to someone he didn't intend to hurt. No one innocent ever gets injured in-game by Mydei (at least so far...), and we have no indications at any point that Mydei would intentionally endanger others out of recklessness. In fact, even in their first scene, it's Mydei who scolds Phainon for being careless during battle.

For example, Mydei's first reaction to confronting Nikador was to immediately remove Phainon and the Trailblazer from the fight so that they wouldn't come to harm. Even inside the coreflame trial, while the power of Strife was driving Phainon mad, Mydei was still level-headed enough to rally the Trailblazer and Dan Heng and get Phainon out safe. Mydei was still rational enough to even recognize the Okhemans inside the illusion and say "This isn't who these people really are; they're being twisted by Nikador."

Is this really the behavior of a reckless person who loses his sense of reason in battle?

To be honest, players should take most of what Phainon actually says about Mydei with a grain of salt. Phainon, especially during 3.0, doesn't actually know Mydei's whole story (for one, he has a foot in mouth moment in 3.0 where he tells Mydei to make more friends, only to then find out in 3.1 that Mydei had more friends; they just all died), and we know that Phainon often exaggerates Mydei in many ways when talking to others. Mydei may be reckless in battle--but his recklessness almost certainly centers on himself, being willing to risk his own life, rather than others'. This is echoed again in his "Keeping Up With Star Rail" video, where Phainon comments on Mydei's complete lack of self-defense once he enters battle. While Phainon might think Mydei's lack of attention to his own pain is worth calling out, it isn't a sign that Mydei is genuinely a mindless berserker.

I've also seen people debating this point by saying that Mydei appears to go "crazy" in battle and starts grinning when he gets a battle high. But as for Mydei's smiling in battle, we really only see it three times: 1) When Phainon first returns to Okhema, 2) When Mydei finally engages in solo combat with Nikador, and 3) When engaged in solo combat after all his allies in the coreflame trial already "died."

Again, this isn't a shipping post, so write the first smile for Phainon off as you choose--maybe Mydei's just excited to have the opportunity to flex in front of his "rival." The other two smiles are admittedly a bit unhinged, but I'd argue that neither of these moments represents actual enjoyment of battle. Instead, both of these smiles occur only inside the overwhelming pall of Nikador's power, which we're told canonically infects the mind with a desire for bloodshed. More importantly, both of these instances also take place when Mydei is only fighting titankin, not human opponents, and only after Mydei has been left entirely alone, when he is certain that the only person at risk in the fight is himself. When Mydei can confirm that there's no one left to defend (or left for him to lose!), then and only then does he give in to Nikador's violence for violence's sake and engage in battle whole-heartedly.

tl;dr: Mydei was the crowned leader of a culture that glorified cruelty, death, and mindless brutality. He was forced into a life of violence where he had to fight tooth and nail for survival from virtually the moment of his birth. Everyone he ever loved died worshiping a god that used their souls as nothing but fodder for further meaningless destruction. Yet Mydei was doing everything he could to rise above that life, and to help others also rise above that life. Of course he fights when he must, but reveling in it? I don't really see the evidence.

My man did not tear down a dynasty, breaking a thousand years' cycle of pointless strife, to get hit with the "He's a battle junkie" allegations. I swear to god I will bite the next person who says it--

2. His Reputation as Quick-Tempered is a Front

While it's typically not Mydei's fans going around saying Mydei's just another "battle-obsessed manly man," there is a different stereotype I actually do see being perpetrated by self-proclaimed Mydei fans: It seems to be a common trend in fanfics and fanarts to write Mydei with a strong temper, showing him becoming very aggressive when annoyed and suggesting that his first resort in difficult situations is brute force.

To be fair, I think this is influenced by a number of factors, not the least of which is the game itself playing with this idea as a joke. In Mydei's "Keeping Up With Star Rail" video, Phainon playfully reduces Mydei to the quick-tempered brute stereotype, saying things like:

Phainon also brings this up at other points, such as suggesting that Mydei would only need one try to solve the puzzle in Janusopolis because his method of solving it would be... to just punch his way through.

But again, please take the things Phainon says about Mydei with a grain of salt. Roasting your friends for fun is simply a given, and I think that Phainon's comments about Mydei are meant to be understood as playful banter about his "rival," not serious analysis of Mydei's temperament (which really doesn't align with the stereotype of a hot-head at all).

Complicating this whole situation is the English voiceover, where it is clear the voice director encouraged Mydei's English VA to portray Mydei as particularly gruff and worked up in many of his lines. I have nothing against the English VA at all, but the voice direction of the English version clearly missed the mark on Mydei's character and went for a more aggressive vibe than any of the game's other languages. (The whole thing reminds of me Ray Chase not being given proper direction on Neuvillette's character at first and dramatically changing his voice acting over the course of Fontaine's patches.) I don't mean that English Mydei is never gentle, but that many of the lines are delivered with a level of vitriol that is not suited to the scene at all nor present in other languages. (Compare this line delivery in English with the same line in Chinese, for just one example.) The English interpretation of the character is strongly colored by this strange directing decision ("Mydei should be actively angry in many of his scenes"), unfortunately.

Complicating the whole situation even further is fandom's habit of reducing characters to flat caricatures because making funny meme art and exaggerating character traits for comedic effect is so common. (And enjoyable, don't get me wrong lol.) There is a well-loved relationship dynamic of "the grumpy one with the sunshine one," and I think unfortunately Mydei and Phainon are getting this treatment in fandom quite a bit: Phainon is depicted as the exuberant, happy puppy, while Mydei is the angry, bristling cat. It just makes sense when we consider cliches, right? The muscle-bound warrior dude will obviously be a cranky, easily angered hot-head, no? To a certain extent, I understand why fans jump to that conclusion and take that route in their fanworks; it's definitely easier to depict the characters with these kinds of shorthand tropes than to encompass their complicated personalities in every art or fic.

But the problem is... in-game Mydei is really not much like fanon Mydei, at least where tempers are concerned.

Repeatedly, the game tells us that Mydei keeps a level head even in situations of extreme pressure, and that he prefers to use communication, rather than force, to try to resolve the conflicts he encounters. Going back to some examples I've already mentioned: In the ruins of Kremnos, he's the first to suggest communicating with the titankin and the first to suggest that there's no reason to use violence against them. In 3.0, a scene lots of people say shows Mydei's "bloodlust," where he confronts Nikador and claims he has an intent to kill, actually starts with the line: "All that anger and regret I feel right now, I've learned to control them".

In Okhema, when the Kremnoans were facing assassination attempts, Mydei handled the situation legally, within the confines of Okhema's clearly ridiculous bureaucracy, to ensure that the Kremnoan people would be able to live within the city. In 3.1, when Krateros wants to lose the Okheman guards that are trailing them, Mydei defers to Krateros's lead, asking him if they should use force on the guards and only complying when he says yes.

In fanarts, it's common to draw Phainon doing something silly, with a 💢grumpy Mydei💢 barely tolerating it. But... in game, Mydei actually tends to weather Phainon's teasing without that much issue, often playing along readily and teasing back or simply not rising to the bait at all, sometimes giving him a flat response that actually irritates Phainon instead.

Even when Phainon lobbies some of his snappiest jests (the line about Mydei not being able to write comes to mind), Mydei's strongest reaction is usually "Why are you stupid?" and then he moves on. He's not out here roaring like an angry lion or flipping a table every time someone is a bit obnoxious in his general vicinity. Mydei's mostly chill with the silliness, guys. He's sometimes silly back.

And even in the moments where he should be his angriest, such as the day he avenged his mother by killing his father, Mydei tends to respond to pressure and even cruel provocation with level-headed answers, coldly telling Eurypon just how pointless the entire crown of Kremnos was. Krateros insults Mydei specifically for choosing communication as his conflict resolution strategy. Like, how did people decide Mydei would be an easily provoked hot-head when his own mentor insults him for trying to solve Kremnos's problems using words instead of action?

Perhaps one of the only occasions in the game where we actually see Mydei genuinely lash out in anger is the moment with Tribbie, where she tells him not to worry for Phainon. Mydei responds harshly--but then immediately walks his words back, explicitly notes that his single sharp answer was rude, and apologizes.

But what I haven't seen anyone discuss is that fact that Mydei had every right to be angry at Tribbie here. In the prior scene, Aglaea literally belittled and pressured him into taking on the Strife coreflame following Phainon's failure, and Mydei knew in this scene that Tribbie was fully aware of Aglaea's plan to manipulate Mydei using Phainon.

Again, not a shipping post, but Tribbie daring to go "Aw, don't be worried" rightttt after that concern for his friend was weaponized against Mydei to deny him his agency? A direct slap in the face. Aglaea--with Tribbie as her willing accomplice--knowingly put Phainon's very life at risk to entrap Mydei and force him to take on a role he was rejecting with every fiber of his being. After deliberately using Phainon--and Mydei's concern for Phainon!--as a tool, for Tribbie to have the audacity to say "You shouldn't worry about him" was actually pretty vile.

And yet it's Mydei who apologizes. It's Mydei who reins in any hint of frustration and tries to approach the situation politely, as if the person he is talking to hadn't literally just doomed him to an entire future of misery by using the safety of one of his only remaining friends as leverage. The achievement you get just before this moment, "Sing, O Goddess, of His Rage," suggests that Mydei truly is rightfully furious about this situation--but in the end, Mydei still forgives both Tribbie and Aglaea without hesitation, because he knows the importance of the Flame-Chase Journey and of following the prophecy at all cost.

Does this really strike us as someone who flies off the handle at minor annoyances, someone who is brash or easily riled up, someone who resorts to punching his way through all his problems?

Despite appearances, I think it would be more accurate to say that Mydei's temper runs pretty even and that he is actually difficult to provoke to genuine anger. There are times where we see him truly furious (when he confronts Nikador about the honorless scheme to attack Okhema, when he confronts his father, etc.), but in every situation where Mydei is angry, it's because the anger is absolutely justified, because something truly unforgivable is happening to him or those he's sworn to protect.

Mydei's suffered just about every manner of injustice it is possible for a person to suffer, and yet he soldiers on without making his suffering other people's concern. He apologizes for even minor outbursts, despite his feelings of outrage clearly being righteous. In some cases, we might even read him as a little passive aggressive instead--the fact that Phainon's food is nasty whenever he really annoys Mydei and yet he has no idea why the food is bad is a hilarious hint that Mydei's definitely more of a "revenge is a dish best served cold" kind of person than a hot-head.

So what about that moment early on, where Mydei uses the threat of violence to silence Verax Leo?

Well, no Verax Leos were harmed, so? Ha, being serious, I actually think this moment should be better understood as the player's first real insight into Mydei's character, separate from Phainon's colorful commentary.

This moment tells us one thing really clearly about Mydei: He's self-aware. Mydei knows the Verax Leos are literally cowardly lions, and he knows they think he's scary. He's aware of his own reputation as a "beast," and he isn't above utilizing that reputation to achieve a goal if doing so will produce a greater good for others. Without even needing to resort to any actual attack, Mydei is able to silence the Verax Leo's rumor-mongering using just the threat of his capacity for violence.

This suggests to the player that Mydei is actually discerning, straight to the point but intelligent enough to tailor his actions to the level of response that is appropriate for a given situation. He's not a "go in fists blazing right from the start" kind of guy when that's not what's needed. He could easily just punch the lion off the wall--but he doesn't. He lets his words doing the threatening, instead of his fists. (The fact that this particular Verax Leo was apparently helping to slander Kremnoans the week before and still lived to spread rumors about March tells us how disinclined Mydei is to solve his daily problems with actual violence.)

The takeaway is that Mydei's angry reputation among Okhemans, but hell, also among players(!), is largely fueled by stereotypes more than by any real actions on Mydei's part. People expect him to a quick-tempered brute, so that's what they see, even when Mydei's real actions don't lend themselves to that cliche much.

Yet Mydei is also self-aware enough to know that same crude reputation is a powerful tool. It benefits him for certain groups to be very afraid of him, and this leads to an interesting conflict in the character: On the one hand, Mydei wants to distance himself from Kremnos's violence. He renames himself, swears allegiance to Aglaea's cause of hope, and spends his free time in Okhema doing gentle things like taking part in cooking competitions, playing house with kids, and judging drama festivals. More on this in a bit, but I think it's very interesting that not a single one of his marketing or promotional materials--nor any of his scenes in the game itself--show him willingly spending his free time on martial pursuits. (The animation they gave us was Mydei playing with children, not sparring with Phainon or even training with his dedicated warrior brothers-in-arms.) Mydei clearly wants to be seen and relate to others as a person separate from his bloodstained past.

On the other hand, his reputation as a terrifying warrior is one of the only things allowing him to live his current life. It's only as the to-be "blood-crowned" king of Kremnos that the Kremnoans willingly follow him and respect what he has to say. His ability to decide their futures hinges on them continuing to perceive him as Mydeimos, their undying lion of conquest. His only use to Aglaea and the Flame-Chase Journey is as the future manifestation of Strife or as an expendable resource that can be thrown single-handedly at enemies because he's the only one that can take their punishment and keep kicking. His place in Okhema is only secure so long as the Okhemans continue to fear his might, their discrimination kept at bay only by the knowledge that none of them can come close to defeating the Kremnoans if it came to blows. His reputation in Okhema is secure only so long as he can continue to cow the Verax Leos into silence with threats of retaliation.

Mydei doesn't have any attachment to his image as a monster--and yet his situation will not allow him to let it go. As much as he would like to live a different life, the view that others have of him--that he is an angry, savage person who is barely restraining an innate violent nature--is a shield locked in his hand, protecting him and making it possible to keep going--even when all he really wants to do is stop.

So, long story longer: I don't think Mydei has an especially hot temper at all; he's lived an incredibly hard life and had every one of his hopes and dreams systemically stripped away from him. He's under constant and immense pressure and feels entirely alone in bearing his burdens. His frustration occasionally bubbling to the surface--for which he apologizes--is not only justified but honestly still shockingly under-stated. If I was in his situation, a whole lot more heads would have rolled.

And now, a few less important notes to round this post out because I can already tell I'm going to hit tumblr's image limit before I run out of things to say about Mydei, so:

3. He's Not a Dumb Jock or Actually that Fitness Obsessed

This one is kind of annoying because Mydei's marketing materials like to play with the "dumb jock" trope as a joke. As mentioned before, we have Phainon's humorous "If you want wisdom, he's got might" line, Mydei being terrible at math (to the point even the Trailblazer assumes they'd be better at math than Mydei), the implication that Mydei is so straightforward he would miss deceptions from those speaking in ill faith (like during the Verax Leo's riddles), and of course, the overwhelmingly common stereotype of gym bros caring more about their muscles than their brains...

But the game also goes out of its way, repeatedly, to emphasize that just as Mydei doesn't fit the stereotype of the savage warrior, he also doesn't fit the stereotype of brawn over brains, of focusing more on physical prowess than thought.

Mydei being bad at math is played for laughs, sure, but in the same breath we're also told that he's a better student of history than Phainon is (which loops back into ironic when you remember that Phainon loves history and clearly wants to be good at it).

Mydei is one of the game's only confirmed bilingual characters outside of the Genius Society, despite the fact that, if his backstory is to be believed, he would have spent the most formative years of his childhood entirely language-less, and even after leaving the Sea of Souls, would likely not have attended any form of formal schooling until he went to the Grove as an adult. He's capable not only of speaking and reading in multiple languages, but also of translating even archaic variations of his native tongue, enough so that (according to his marketing), being an archaic Kremnoan language mentor is one of his official titles.

He's also one of the characters most strongly associated with reading in the entire game, via the library, his canonically stated ability to interpret poetry, his character stories all being texts... All the other characters associated as strongly with reading as Mydei in the game are regarded as "nerds": Ratio, Dan Heng, Pela... Somehow critical portions of Mydei's character can be oriented around literature and he still gets hit with the dumb jock label???

He's also an accomplished military strategist capable of commanding the respect of seasoned veterans as well as waging effective war campaigns against enemy nations with a marginal, aging army and virtually no resources... He's capable of playing Aglaea's and Okhema's political games, despite having obvious disdain for such things... In fact, in Mydei's goodbye to Aglaea, he speaks to her as one nation's leader to another, remarking on how he's learned valuable lessons in managing his people from her, and specifically highlighting that her trait he most admires--what is missing from his own people's history--is her ability to instill genuine hope in others.

But yeah, Mydei is dumb muscle because it's funny, I guess.

What makes the whole "jock" thing loop around into doubly ironic (and also sad) is that although Mydei's character does involve a strong emphasis on health and fitness, the way it's framed in his marketing versus his actual in-game character is extremely different. Mydei's marketing is all about combat, how he's a "fitness ambassador," and "performance enhancers aren't in the Kremnoan language."

But in game Mydei...?

He doesn't have anything particularly unique to teach Phainon. There isn't any special "extreme Mydei training regimen" above what the other Kremnoan soldiers do, a fact we can confirm with the bath NPC Peleus, who tells us that Mydei has taught him his training regimen, and it's just the "Kremnoan traditional exercises" (the high-altitude shuttle run, firewalking, etc.). This idea that Mydei isn't devoting himself to constantly improving his ~super special combat capability~ is also reiterated in Mydei's marketing when someone tries to scam Okhemans by selling a secret "Mydei combat move" and Mydei is just like "There's no such thing..."

Yes, this is me telling you that the fanon thing where Mydei is all about hitting the arena to beat the crap out of challengers every single day is probably not that lore accurate. Yes, of course Mydei spars and keeps up with his strict exercise routine, but combat training doesn't actually seem to be his favorite hobby. In the game, Phainon is definitely worked up about wanting to spar and practice together, but Mydei's attitude to the idea of training with Phainon seems closer to "Please... be more chill..."

Just as an example, at possibly the most plot relevant time ever to suggest a spirit-raising spar with his "bro," the ideas that instead come to Mydei's mind for working out Phainon's disappointment are...

All gentle socializing.

In fact, although Mydei's marketing hyper-emphasized the "fitness" shtick, we never actually see Mydei sparring or training with anyone in any of his mainstream marketing materials or in game. (I'd say we don't even see him fitness training at all, but hey, they did add one chat sticker where he has a weight lol.)

Although we're informed repeatedly that Mydei's a fitness junkie, what his marketing and in-game free time scenes actually show us are, uhhhh *checks notes* sleeping in, taking long baths, eating pancakes, singing around the campfire with his band of bros, people watching, and babysitting? It's the life he truly deserves.

Again, this isn't to say Mydei doesn't train (obviously you don't look like that without putting in massive effort!), but both promotional materials and the scenes chosen for characters in game are deliberately designed to highlight the most integral aspects of characters' personalities. Mydei surely is exercising hard to keep up his health off-screen--but by de-emphasizing that in what the game actually visually shows us players, the only obvious conclusion is that other things (food, playing with children, spending time with comrades) are much more important to Mydei than just getting swole. Out of the "warrior" type characters we have in Star Rail, Mydei is one of the least pumped up about sparring that we've seen. From what we're actually given in game, Yanqing is infinitely more gung-ho about combat training than Mydei is.

In fact, rather than exercise itself, I'd say more of Mydei's "fitness" focus in game comes from his connection to food, and--perhaps this is me reading into things a bit too much (but that's my job, you know)--I'd argue that Mydei's repeated emphasis on eating healthy is actually a thinly-veiled trauma response to his childhood experiences with starvation.

We're told that, in the Sea of Souls, he fed on the raw flesh and bone of the abyssal monsters he fought--literally eat or be eaten--and could really only hold off the feeling of starving on the rare times that the tides were low and he could catch live shrimp instead. He also closely associates the Kremnoan Detachment, his only refuge, with the notion of comfort food.

And every time food is discussed, he's quick to tell others, even the Trailblazer, exactly what to add in order to make sure they're not only full but also eating a balanced meal that will keep them hale and whole. More than a gym bro, I think Mydei missed his calling as a nutritionist.

Long story longer, Mydei has never had a time where he could go without fighting. For virtually all of his life, at least until he reached Okhema, fighting was all he ever knew. Would he even really need much extra fitness training when his entire existence is a constant stream of battles, of pushing his body to its limits over and over again? He's been "working out" since he was literally an infant, with no down time, and even in relatively peaceful Okhema, a Chrysos Heir's duty to battle never ends.

This is just my personal take on it, but I'm inclined to think that when he finds rare moments of peace, Mydei would probably prefer to do things other than fight, especially if it's something that allows him to provide for himself and others, helping his friends stay well, such as through cooking.

I think the in-game material does a great job of emphasizing that Mydei's definition of "fitness" doesn't necessarily focus foremost on being a gym bro/jock who hits the training field every five minutes--his definition of "health" and "wellness" have a lot to do with nourishing the spirit at the same time.

4. Mydei is Significantly Less Impulsive than Phainon

Okay, I can hear you--if Mydei's not a brute, and he's not a fiery temper, and he's not much of an actual gym bro, what is he?

Well, unfortunately I'm just here to tell you another thing he's not: He's not actually that proactive of a rival either.

Aglaea is quick to call Mydei and Phainon "impulsive youths," putting them on the same level in terms of childishness, but actuallyyy...

Despite the fact that Phainon likes to claim Mydei "taunts him every time they meet", every single actual competition we've ever seen between Mydei and Phainon was initiated 100% by Phainon, with Mydei just sort of getting swept up in Phainon's antics.

In their joint lightcone, it's Phainon who calls for the contest of speed. In Kremnos, it's Phainon who proposes the titankin killing competition. After the coreflame trial, it's Phainon who demands the hot bath challenge (and then lies and blames Mydei lol), and it's even Phainon who turns taking home the other affected bath patrons into a competition too, one in which Mydei flat out claims he wasn't even competing:

We're given several hints, particularly throughout 3.0, that Mydei and Phainon's prior missions were largely characterized by Phainon coming up with ridiculous plans, and Mydei mostly going "Welp, that sounds like it's going to get us killed, but okay I guess."

While Phainon is ready to go "Fuck it, we ball" and fight a titan to the death all by himself, Mydei spends the entire first part of 3.0 going "Hey, so, like, fighting Nikador without an army is a really dumbass decision, and we should probably not be attempting this."

(This moment is kind of less funny in retrospect when you rewatch it with the knowledge that Mydei knew they couldn't handle the fight, but Phainon was like "No, we totally got this, trust me bro!" Spoiler Alert: They did not have it. Literally all of Mydei's deaths in 3.0 happened because of his crippling inability to say no to Phainon. But this is not a shipping post. I promise.)

Anyway, in one of the only examples we have of Mydei possibly being impulsive on his own, the note from the bath manager that reports someone charging into the baths to ask who the strongest warrior in Okhema is, the actual implication is that Mydei had no idea how poorly the Okhemans would take that (nor their obsession with debate which would be sparked), and his faux pas comes less from being immature and more from the cultural discrepancy between Okhema and Kremnos, as the Kremnoan in the note finds Mydei's behavior perfectly normal.

In fact, instead of being an unruly youth, Mydei is criticized by other characters several times in the story specifically for choosing to hold back and think things through before committing himself to a decision. If anything, he's closer to indecisive (or at least slow to decide) than he is to impulsive.

Now, don't get me wrong. The game tells us repeatedly that Mydei does get competitive as hell once Phainon actually manages to convince him to join in on the shenanigans. Of course Mydei likes to win. But the notion that Mydei is Phainon's equally impulsive rival, actively issuing his own challenges, goading his frenemy into new contests, and particularly motivated to keep one-upping Phainon? It's really more of an informed trait and a fandom cliche (red and blue rivals, the people cannot resist) than anything actually shown in the game.

At the risk of perhaps inserting too much of my own interpretation here, I'm inclined to say that Mydei's willingness to engage in Phainon's dumb competitions is less brash rivalry and much closer to "Guy who never had the chance to be an impulsive youth cautiously allowing himself the privilege of feeling carefree for ten minutes or so."

It's not that Mydei is actually that driven to assert his dominance or is particularly impetuous when left to his own devices--it's that he never before had a long enough period of peace where he was safe enough to act childish. If he ever had competitions in his past, they almost certainly would have been like "Who can murder the most enemy soldiers with their bare hands today?" In Okhema, Mydei can participate in sauna-offs.

Mydei isn't as (deliberately performatively) silly as Phainon. He's nowhere near as impulsive as Phainon is. He's not really that fixated on being a rival. But he is a pretty great partner in crime. He does allow himself to be drawn into Phainon's schemes over and over, because well... they're obviously fun for him. He gets into the competitions once they're motion, even if he complains about them at the start. Mydei's life has been criminally devoid of light-hearted joys and normalcy, and being led into trouble that doesn't result in people literally dying on him--harmless trouble--is probably an extreme novelty for Mydei. Basically what I'm saying is, he isn't going to propose the Jackass competition, but he is going to fold like paper the moment said competition is suggested.

Case in point: In 3.0, there's a second where you can actually hear him regretting his life choices, trying so hard to convince himself that he is above Phainon's weird antics, but... in the end, he can't help himself. When Phainon starts LARPing with the Trailblazer during the titankin competition, Mydei's first reaction is essentially "Oh my god, this is so cringe," but just two lines later... look who joins the LARPing.

This nerddddd.

When left alone, Mydei withdraws from the world. Trailblazer typically finds him locked in silent contemplation, rejecting visitors, up on his own private corner of the rooftops. On his own, Mydei is significantly less likely to seek out trouble, cause public disturbances, or become a (usually accidental) nuisance compared to half the other Chrysos Heirs.

But when the company around him makes him feel comfortable, he is willing to engage with life in the childish ways he was never free to before. His "rivalry" with Phainon is better understood not as a macho dude-bro need to assert superiority, but as just one of the most obvious manifestations of Mydei's desire to experience the life he never got to live, to let himself be the kind of person who can just do silly things and cause dumb messes.

Mydei isn't a particularly impulsive person--but sometimes he lets himself try it out. As a treat.

Okay, last note for now:

5. Mind Your Manners

While it might be tempting to see Phainon and Mydei's competitions as the peak of Mydei's comedic contribution in the story, I think the actual funniest aspect of Mydei's character is the game's running gag about his manners.

Yes, Castrum Kremnos is a savage nation that revels in death and is rumored to drink the blood of their enemies--but they still keep it classy, damn it! Sure Mydei might have grown up as a half-feral sea beast and then a homeless, wandering exile subsisting off the land, but sometimes he literally can't help it--the aristocracy just jumps right out of him.

No, I'm not joking. Mydei really does have the prim and proper manners of a blue-blooded royal.

We see this from his first appearance in the game. A character's first scene is generally their establishing moment, the devs' chance to give players a strong starting impression--which makes it so telling that one of the first things out of Mydei's mouth is a insult to Phainon's manners.

This is a direct and pointed critique, suggesting Phainon has neglected his duties as a host by relying on his "guests" as back up in the battle. In the context of Amphoreus's historical inspirations, this is actually a very serious scolding: hospitality was a big, big deal in ancient Greece, and the idea of forcing foreign guests into serving you before affording them proper welcome and rest, let alone actively endangering them, would literally be considered an affront to the gods.

With this one short line, the devs are impressing the extreme difference in social status between Mydei and Phainon: Phainon is effectively a "country bumpkin," a member of a lower class who doesn't know how to (or perhaps just doesn't care to?) properly practice the civil gestures of the upper rungs of Amphorean society. Mydei, on the other hand, not only knows the proper rituals of etiquette but expects those rituals to be upheld by others. He's basically calling Phainon a mannerless peasant in one of his first lines of dialogue, which is why Phainon gets so grumpy for the rest of the conversation lol.

We see Mydei's inclination towards proper decorum in several other places as well. As a prince, he's entitled to respect and deference, and while we might be inclined to say "Mydei isn't the type to enforce his royal status over others," the game itself shows us that... Mydei kind of does expect people to treat him differently.

Just as one small starting example, I know it's somewhat popular to have Mydei deny his royal status in fanfics, such as telling people not to call him by his titles or acting as if he has no connection to the upper class, but this doesn't actually happen in the game. Mydei introduces himself to the Trailblazer from the start as Castrum Kremnos's crown prince, consistently thinks of himself (such as in mission journal text) as a prince, and is largely referred to as "the crown prince" or "your highness" by everyone outside the Chrysos Heirs, including all of the Okhemans:

In fact, I'd go so far as to argue that Mydei takes his role as a prince very seriously and does not remotely deny the responsibility he bears toward his people. It's important to him to fulfill his duty to the Kremnoans, so rather than downplaying his role as their prince, he seems to acknowledge it freely, working to serve as a principled leader as best he can.

In short, Mydei is aware of his status--and he expects everyone else will be aware of it too.

I don't mean this in a bad way at all; he's not rude or pompous about it--rather, I think this is a subconscious aspect of his character. Mydei has spent many of his formative years with his people putting him on a ridiculously tall pedestal. He's spent at least a decade as the leader of a group that basically worships the ground he walks on; the Kremnoans obviously aggressively follow the social protocols of their very traditional culture, which seems to include somewhat blind adoration of their kings. Even if Mydei wanted the Kremnoans to treat him as "just another one of the people," there's almost zero chance they would do so. It would likely go against their nature to even ask that of them. Ergo, Mydei's almost certainly spent his entire adult life as the recipient of his people's extreme respect--and their strict adherence to proper social protocols around their prince.

Because of this, Mydei does have specific (if likely subconscious) expectations for "how people will behave around me," and we players get to see several humorous moments where other characters in the story violate Mydei's understanding of how princes should be treated:

In a particularly infamous memory crystal, we see one of Phainon and Mydei's early interactions, with Phainon inserting himself in Mydei's presence and starting up a conversation Mydei obviously did not expect. This is such a faux pas that only someone like Phainon could have had the audacity to thoughtlessly do it; he basically hop-skip-jumped about twelve rungs on the social ladder to waylay a royal without seeking an audience--and Mydei is clearly taken aback to be approached so casually and without preamble. Although Mydei doesn't actually say it (because doing so would be rude, of course), Phainon himself awkwardly ends up acknowledging that Mydei is trying hard to end their conversation:

It's not because Mydei dislikes Phainon already, but because the act of walking up on a stranger--especially a stranger who is a prince!--and assuming such a degree of familiarity as to comment on his body of all things would be so beyond the pale of appropriate social behavior that even Mydei hardly seems to know how to respond at first.

We see this same completely (or perhaps willfully) oblivious to social protocol behavior from Phainon numerous times throughout the 3.0 and 3.1 quests, and Mydei's affronted reactions are always pretty priceless. You can almost hear him thinking "The audacity!"

The exact same face my conservative grandma makes when I accidentally drop an F bomb in front of her.

Blatantly asking a prince to praise you? Scandalous.

But Phainon isn't the only person who can provoke these offended responses from Mydei while pushing the prince's boundaries with bad manners. Trailblazer hilariously earns themself a few critiques about their lack of courtesy too:

And even Aglaea triggers a haughty response???

(Sure, we could give Mydei the benefit of the doubt here and say he's talking about himself and Phainon, but honestly? I think this English translation at least could lend itself to a different take as well: Bro got so embarrassed over being caught acting a fool that THE ROYAL "WE" just burst straight out of him lmaoooo.)

In another humorous example, in the animation where Mydei plays with children, the "princess" in the play criticizes Mydei for not being very good at princely behaviors like Okheman waltzing, which immediately results in... Mydei seeking dance lessons from Tribbie so he can improve himself. Princes can't be caught slacking!

(But hilariously enough, as a sidenote, Mydei's dance ability seems to be another case of culture gap: One of the other children in Okhema, the one who was taught about Kremnoan traditions by Mydei, is actually quick to inform us that Mydei may not be familiar with Okheman dances--but he does know all about Anastenaria dancing!)

(Mydei might not fit the standards for an Okheman prince, but he's killing it as a Kremnoan one!)

Anyway, being serious again: Although it's quite funny the dev team insists so much that Mydei, despite being prince of a nation of savage warriors, is nonetheless a prince, with all the trappings of prim and proper etiquette, I think it also says a lot about Mydei's character that he does try to follow social protocols so closely. He apologizes for rudeness. He minds how he speaks to others. He is precise and forthright and always honors his word. Hell, he even politely makes prior arrangements if he knows he's going to be late to an event.

Mydei is self-aware enough to know his status. He knows the weight of that status, and he knows what his status means to his people. He takes the responsibility seriously and bears the role to the best of his ability, striving to meet the Kremnoans' expectations of a "crown prince" even as he can't bring himself to truly align with their core beliefs. He is trying his best to carry himself as a leader should, complete with his commitment to honor the traditional expectations and social class systems of both Kremnos and Okhema.

Despite his rough start in life, Mydei has accepted his people's intense respect and adapted himself to become someone worthy of commanding that respect. Social graces may not have come naturally to him after a childhood completely outside of humanity's reach, but Mydei nevertheless has worked hard to become a cultured person who embodies the demeanor and decorum of a sole surviving prince.

Although it's played for laughs, it's also played quite straight throughout Amphoreus's story: Manners matter to Mydei--both in himself and in others.

Anyway, since I still have more notes I jotted down about Mydei's characterization, here is some other stuff:

Part 2, over here ->

[ultred]

the money mindset ? no, the spoiled “princess” mindset.

i love the topic of money so much because it’s always been an extremely easy thing for me to manifest and i’m here to remind you of how easy it is. you’ll be drowned in it once you fully tap into the mindset of a “spoiled” person.

now, i’m not talking about being spoiled as in ungrateful, condescending, and unappreciative. i’m talking about having the mindset of someone who is always spoiled by those around them. a spoiled person is always receiving things. they’re always given what they want and money seems to be around them everywhere they go. why is that ? because money isn’t something they get, it’s part of their identity and they don’t care how it comes to them.

this mindset can also be considered as receiving princess treatment. and trust me, having this mindset will make money flow to you in unlimited amount and in different forms, and you don’t even have to lift a finger.

reminders :

1. princesses don’t have to do anything to get spoiled. they just exist.

when you truly believe that having money is your birthright and that being spoiled is the norm, that’s exactly what you receive. walk around knowing that everywhere you go, people want to do things for you. they want to give you their money. they want to buy you things. they want to pay for your food. they want to pay for your rent. they want to take you anywhere you want.

2. stop putting money on a pedestal.

it’s literally just paper. diamonds on earth are really expensive yet apparently there are planets where it RAINS diamonds. nothing really is as valuable as you think. we assign meaning to everything. having all the money you want is literally a thought away from receiving it. just take it off the pedestal.

3. money comes in many forms.

one thing that helped me manifest anything money related is that i didn’t limit money to just receiving it in its “paper form.” i see money in everything. i see ABUNDANCE in everything. i don’t just focus on money itself. i focus on the idea of being spoiled, thus leading to money being manifested in different ways. i don’t just limit myself to receiving cash or money randomly showing up on my bank account. be open to receiving money in any way aka being spoiled through different ways. i don’t have money to buy food ? oh, whatever. someone will pay for my food. i don’t have money to pay for rent or the clothes i want ? oh, someone will pay for my rent or it will magically be solved because i am spoiled and don’t have to do anything. also, someone will buy me the clothes i want because i deserve to receive gifts and be spoiled exactly how i want.

4. spoil yourself first.

i know this might raise some questions like how tf am i supposed to do that ? this works for me so it might work for you as well. i always spoil myself in any way possible. through self-care routines, buying myself little things if i can, and overall doing things that make me in the state of being someone who is living a soft life ? i also keep affirming that i’m always spoiled and receive princess treatment from everyone. i don’t necessarily focus on money as something that is separate from me. i make it my identity and like i said, i’m fully open to receiving it in any way possible not just in a particular form. and since then, i’ve been manifesting not only cash, but also everything i could possibly want that requires money without having to pay at all, paying a little amount, etc.

affirmations :

i am drowned in money everywhere i go.

i receive princess treatment from absolutely everyone.

i am always spoiled by everyone around me.

everything comes to me effortlessly.

everything works out in my favor perfectly.

i am a spoiled princess. i receive everything i want.

i get paid to exist because life loves me that much.

i love how everywhere i go, people want to buy me stuff.

i love how everyone wants to make my life easier. i truly don’t have to do anything.

i love how money is always chasing me everywhere i go.

money is my birthright and being spoiled is a norm for me.

i love being spoiled and treated like royalty.

i am living a soft life. i don’t have to work hard for anything.

money comes to me easily. i can just sit and do nothing and it begs me to spend it on everything i want.

i have always been a spoiled person. i love how easy my lifestyle is.

i am abundance personified.

overall, you can manifest money in various ways and any way works. i believe that choosing this mindset just makes it flow to you so easily without even having to do anything and it truly feels so good. ✶ ૮₍৹˘ᵕ˘৹₎ა 𓈒

[matmiraculous]

Encanto TV Show

So. I had Ideas. I want to know peoples thoughts before I actually start writing. (Ignore the fact that i'm almost 4 years late to the fandom)

Season 1

1 - Pilot: The Family Madrigal (Whole Fam Feat: Mirabel)   Mirabel helps the family adjust to healthier habits in the early days after Casita is rebuilt, gently guiding them into a new chapter of life together. 2 - A Room of Ones Own (Mirabel)   Mirabel feels like the family is avoiding her and gets really upset and lonely, only for the family and Casita to reveal that they made her her own room! 3 - Luisa Lets Go (Luisa)   After accidentally breaking something during a vulnerable moment, Luisa realizes she still ties her worth to being strong and learns what it means to rest. 4 - Camilo Cares To Much (Camilo)   Camilo shapeshifts nonstop to please everyone, but when a young fan copies him a little too well, he starts to unravel. 5 - Of Rats and Men (Bruno and Julieta)   When a strange illness spreads in town, Bruno’s rats are unfairly blamed. He and Julieta team up to solve the mystery, healing a bit of Bruno’s reputation. 6 - Antonios Big Adventure (Antonio)   Antonio discovers a creature that can’t speak to him, forcing him to explore other ways of understanding, and learning that connection takes more than magic. 7 - Game Night (Madrigal 3rd Gen + Mariano)   The Madrigal kids (plus Mariano) have a game night that quickly devolves into chaos, competition, and comedy, before ending in giggles and heartfelt bonding. 8 - Flashback 1 (Madrigal 2nd Gen as Teens)   Teenage Julieta, Pepa, Bruno, Félix, and Agustín navigate early gifts, clumsy romance, and Alma’s rising expectations during the miracle’s first years. 9 - Guys Night (Agustin, Felix, and Bruno)   Félix and Agustín drag Bruno out for a night in town, challenging the village to treat him better while Bruno learns how to loosen up and be seen again.

10 - Power Swap (Whole Fam)

   The family wakes up with their gifts completely shuffled. Cue hilarious chaos, instant regrets, and a whole new respect for each other’s daily struggles. 11 - An Artists Touch (Isabela and Mirabel)   Mirabel and Isabela try to collaborate on a mural, but their wildly different creative styles clash until they find a way to blend beauty and mess into something uniquely theirs. 12 - Pranksters (Mirabel and Camilo Feat: Whole Fam)   Mirabel and Camilo start a petty prank war that escalates into full family participation where everyone picks a side. 13 - Flashback 2 (Madrigal 3rd Gen. Pre Camilo and Mirabels Door ceremonies)   A goofy happy episode about the Madrigal grandkids before Camilo and Mirabel both ahd their gift ceremonies. 14 - Still Abuela (Abuela Alma)   As the village moves forward and relies less on her, Alma questions her place in the family, until Mirabel reminds her she’s still their light, even without the candle. 15 - Bedtime with Bruno (Antonio and Bruno)   Bruno tells Antonio a bedtime story, and one by one the other kids gather to listen. Bruno feels like a part of the family finally. 16 - The Babysitters (Mirabel and Camilo)   Mirabel and Camilo babysit a group of chaotic village kids and clash hard on parenting styles, until they learn that fun and structure can coexist. 17 - La Ratonovela (Rat Telenovela Feat:Bruno and Dolores)   Bruno narrates one of his full-on dramatic rat telenovelas in person for once while Dolores keeps interrupting with ideas and questions. 18 - Hearing Hearts (Mariano +Madrigal 3rd Gen)   Mariano tries to plan a romantic surprise for Dolores, while navigating the absolute nightmare of dating someone who can hear literally everything. 19 - Flashback 3 (Pepa Feat: Newborn Antonio)   The story of Pepa’s pregnancy and the day Antonio was born. Its chaos obviously. 20 - Birthday (Madrigal Triplets)   The triplets celebrate their first birthday together since Bruno returned, unlocking sweet childhood memories, unresolved guilt, and the quiet power of forgiveness.

[lizmidfordsblog]

Who is Cale Henituse? And Who is Kim Rok Soo?

In a previous post, I mentioned how OG!Cale's The Birth of a Hero future was Kim Rok Soo's worst nightmare. Raon never lived. The Henituse County was razed to the ground. Eruhaben was likely killed off by the Dragon Half-Blood or the White Star.

How do we know that was his worst nightmare? Because Kim Rok Soo (KRS) has already lived through it with the cataclysm and everything that unfolded afterward. I'm currently writing a thesis on the fluidity of identity, and the sheer lack of staticness of KRS's entire life & his personhood is physically staggering.

Orphanhood, child abuse and alienation are all examples of instability we see reflected in real life. They don't necessarily have to connote instability, but in KRS's case, they did. Shifting from different homes, in the care of (or lack thereof) of different adults etc. These are age old tales, of children aging out of systems and working hard to get into college to support themselves. Here, KRS stands out as one example out of thousands.

But the author takes this to the next level; in the Cataclysm, that already fragile sense of identity is fully squashed.

During the Sloth Test, Kim Rok Soo defines his high school experience as uneventful and peaceful. He's finally out of his abusive situation and can reset, can lay down his roots. He begins to develop goals, fosters connections (however little they are) and has the drive to reach for those goals through working jobs. The moment he dares to dream of more, the Cataclysm takes place in what can arguably be a moment in Earth 2's history that revamped every single human being's identity.

Once, Lee Soo Hyuk (LSH) was a third rate actor playing extras. Now he's lowkey the hope of the diminishing Korean population. He's the only Ability User with two (recorded) abilities.

Once, Kim Rok Soo (KRS) was an orphan working in a restaurant earning money to attend college. He'd made something out of himself, no matter how little or fragile it was.

Now he's effectively nothing, as is enforced and told to him by literally everyone in this new society that prioritizes efficiency & usefulness over all else. He states it himself, considers it true himself: he was useless until he activated his own Abilities.

Then we have the dismantlement of the central shelters, then latter on a period of stability where he forges bonds with Choi Jung Soo (CJS) and Lee Soo Hyuk (LSH). He again, finds a place for himself in a broken world. And what happens? That, too, disappears.

Kim Rok Soo is someone used to change, placing and taking down different masks in order to survive. The irony of his existence is how he literally gets his soul swapped, another complete revamp of his identity. He's no longer Kim Rok Soo (not that he had much attachment to it, as KRS emphasizes throughout the novel) but rather he's Cale Henituse now. With all the connotations of the word.

I chose to write my fic specifically to interrogate this shift of identity. In TCF canon, we never really get to understanding the implications of OG!Cale's disappearance from the perspective of his loved ones. I adore KRS with all my heart, and cackle at all the 'trash' comedy going on. But I also think about the sheer tragedy of no one realizing OG!Cale was missing, or that KRS had replaced him. That's not on Choi Han, Raon or any of the family members KRS has gained post-transmigration.

It makes me think of just how alienated OG!Cale purposefully made himself that-- forget Deruth (who I can expect to be busy with work) but Ron, who was by his side every day did not realize. That's terrifying; it makes you wonder, what makes a person themselves? Their physical body, their soul, or their personality?

If KRS!Cale suddenly switched bodies back, would any of his family members realize?

(I know they would, cue our Dark Tiger quite literally recognizing KRS in the Sealed God Test, but think about it!!)

Jules works as a character because she's someone from OG!Cale's past, who knew him intimately (as close as a family member), and hence, at the realization that this is not him-- is understandably and rightfully equal parts pissed and scared. The funniest part is, this fic was never meant to be a romance, I was just toying with the idea of someone who actually knew OG!Cale before KRS took over, finding out about the soul swap. I'm really excited to see how the author tackles this with Ron & Beacrox in Part 2, who have long begun to suspect our beloved KRS!Cale.

Actually, this makes me think of Alberu, who's doing some identity swapping/obscuring of his own. I wrote a bit about it in to your eternity, but I might do a separate post just waxing poetry about the sheer beauty of him as a foil to our beloved Cale. And Choi Han. And OG!Cale. Ughhh!! Even Eruhaben, himself (as someone who has had a fixed identity/personhood across his thousand years) acts as a foil to Kim Rok Soo, who flips between identities like they're clothes. And who, ironically, has this change satirized via different characters always misunderstanding him (calling him a dragon, thinking he's a god etc.).

Any way, that is my daily dose of mental breakdowns courtesy of our favorite slacker. Sorry if I kept rambling obvious things, its just that every time I reread the novel, I'm just blown back by the characters. TCF, as it's core, isn't a plot-driven story but rather a character-driven on. It's heart is in it's found family and I think that's beautiful.

If you liked this post, or wanna geek over these characters more, shoot me a text! I'm always down!

Also, feel free to check out my fic! I currently have a chapter out talking about Beacrox & his displacement from his home/finding a new one with the Henituses.

[katherinakaina]

Thank you so much for this contribution. I did notice this as well. More so, people not only treat Pathologic differently in this regard, they literally only treat Daniil differently. And it's true that this was the case to some extend before Hbomb's video too.

My theory is that while other characters feel more like you, the player, Daniil always feels like Daniil. You feel like a witness to this weird guy's antics, not a creater of your own story. Even when the character you play is a strong presence (like Artemy, Clara or Harry) they still seem familiar, like someone you can be for a short time and stir their fate for them. Daniil, apparently, doesn't.

For most people, not for me. I have the opposite experience with Artemy, honestly.

Another theory is that it's contrast between Daniil's stated goals to defeat death, to save the world, and his character, that is a very stressed out dude with anger issues. Imagine you play Superman and you have all the bg3 dialogue options. It would probably make you focus on all the bad options more because you wouldn't expect them to be there.

Maybe people do expect heroes to be perfect people. And when they're not perfect it means they're no heroes either. Reminds me of vitriol with which people criticize actual activists for minor missteps. Why would you even demand from this person, who's saving the world as their day job, to be perfect on some offensive language issue here and there? But people do, all the time. Boggles my mind.

Another reason I relate to Daniil so much because I used to be an activist and I received messages like 'How dare you not post today after this tragedy happened?! That means you don't care!' from people who didn't do anything at all, on any day. The amount of criticism you face when you're trying to do good, especially publicly, is honestly unimaginable. It's right there with trying to raise a baby. Everyone has an opinion on what you're doing wrong. But at least with parenting those are the people who presumably have some experience. With activism you are being torn apart by people you are trying to save who demand saving but also fight back against it. This is psychological torture no human is equipped to handle. I mean, Danko does die for the sake of his people in the end, his body and heart stomped into the ground by the people he saved. That's the actual fate of a hero. When you're mean to Daniil this is who you're mean to.

Meanwhile Artemy has more relatable down to earth human motivations. He's taking his place, saving only his own town, avenging his father, proving himself to the people he's destined to lead. He can be as flawed as he wants while doing that. Who the fuck cares if the leader of the Kin is a bit of an asshole, that's way less important.

“Daniil does have genuinely awful text options. Stop pretending he doesn’t. THAT’S what people criticize him for. And y’all are just trying to absolve your favourite guy”

Okay. I don’t know what others do. But I don’t dismiss any of his bad lines (even if he usually has a contradicting line somewhere meaning he is in several minds on the issue, not a raging fanatic). Because:

Pathologic is not about who’s perfect. And it’s not about who’s your favourite war criminal either.

It’s about flawed people in the horrible world DOING GOOD ANYWAY.

You know, like us. Like me, like you. You don’t have to be perfect to go and fight the plague. In fact, you will never be perfect. If that’s what you’re waiting for you will never start fighting.

The only character who believes herself to be a literal saint turns out to be the literal plague. And even she goes and does good anyway. That’s the story we are dealing with here.

Why I am personally a staunch Daniil defender instead of tearing through his worst lines and choices (though I do that sometimes too) is because how the fandom treats him is unfair, it’s disproportionate to his crimes. And he is the main magnet for all the criticism that can be aimed at the characters in this game, meanwhile Artemy ‘these herb-gathering Worms have little in common with men’ Burakh is just as bad (at least) in the games. Seriously, if we start going through every problematic Artemy moment and treat them with as little leniency as people treat Daniil's faux pas we’ll be here all day. It would be so easy to portray Artemy as an absolute monster only using his canon text in either game, it’s not even funny. Not to mention other characters.

So, we either start scrutinizing and making fun of everybody the way we do with Daniil or we treat Daniil with leniency and respect as well as everybody. Those are two fair options. You don’t have to pick but then please be honest with what you’re doing.

[butch-bakugo]

Don't wanna be a party pooper system but the treatment of doey by the fandom isn't just becoming weirdly hyper focused on infantilizing ALL of doey's alters, not just Jack, but it's absolute obsession with tearing them apart back into singlets(non-sys) is 100% just becoming ableism at this point.

The first time I saw people making each of them have their own bodies by making smaller doey's with their colors to match, It kinda irked me but I could look at it through a lense of someone who isn't a system and see why it wouldn't occur to them that they are basically ableizing him/removing his mental disability in favor of cute tiny ones. It is bad to basically erase his mental disability period, it doesn't matter the reason.

But now it's super fucking common and it's starting to just piss me off. There's something so uncomfortable and insidious to specifically watch non systems go out of their way to physically rip a system apart into different bodies to make the character a singlets and then infantilize all of them so they can treat each of them like different people. It's like if an au came about that specifically gave a wheelchair bound character cyborg legs so they could walk and basically turned them into an able-bodied character and then everyone starting doing that au everywhere all the time. Y'all only think this is ok because you have no systems in your life period or none who will push back against you and DID/systemhood is a demonized and rarely understood mental disability.

Yes, it is weird and ableist that singlets are specifically obsessed with re-splitting doey into individual people. Not just in an ableist sense of making doey a singlet but also it's just kind of... Ooc? We see and hear the alters interact with each other and soothe each other and if doey wanted to be separated where each alter had their own hunk of dough, he would of done it by now. He would of split off on his own either at some point before we got there and Poppy's playtime would of mentioned it or while we were there. Except he doesn't and although there are plenty of alters within numerous systems who, if given the chance, would happily have a body of their own but that is not a common desire and certainly not the entire system. Not to mention this au is usually meant to be post-chapter 4 after doey's death. Are y'all literally killing the system to save the alter?? Like?? Healing for most systems isn't final fusion, it's healthy multiplicity. Also the fact y'all are basically implying that the only reason doey didn't like you was because he was a system and the only way for him to heal is to be forcibly ripped apart are quite literally just ignoring that doey was justified in attacking the player. Y'all blew up safe haven and killed everyone he loved, you would just have a bunch of really angry little doey's... That are all still systems. Even then to portray that the only way he could "heal" ( be nice to you as the player) is being turned into a singlet is quite literally starting to tip into eugenics.

I don't want to imply or suggest malice where it's not but there's something so poetic and gross about singlets just assuming that they know what's best for a system and the choice they immediately come to is completely ableifying him, separating his alters into their own bodies and force him to be happy about it. Out of all the aus that could become popular, their choice is to erase someone's disability. Oh, and infantilize every alter into tiny doeys that their grey ex-worker y/n must take care of like literal children... Despite 2 of them being older teens?

The Au is ableist, stopping splitting doey up. You are basically erasing his disability and trying to portray it as him "healing". Y'all look like the people who constantly give characters with amputations prosthetics even though the media showed them being happy without them then basically turn it into a normal arm with a sleeve and a joke.

It's just ✨ ableism and disability erasure ✨ at some point.

Non-systems/singlets in the Poppy's playtime fandom please reblog this, more people need to be aware of the implications they make with this au.

[devdozes]

LMAOOO NEVER THOUGHT ABT PHAINON AND FLAME REAVER BEING TWINS ITS SOO GOOODD do you have more food about them, pretty please?

PHAINON AND FLAMEREAVER TWINS HEADCANON TIMEE

phainon x reader x flamereaver bro thats crazy

🌙 FLAMEREAVER!!-

-He does not care about anyone else but you. He’s cold, uninterested, and side-eyes everyone like they’re beneath him—unless it’s you.

-People thought he didn’t know how to smile until they saw him literally melt whenever you so much as acknowledge his existence.

-If you hug him? Congratulations, he stops functioning.

You: “Flame Reaver, you’re warm.” Him: I will never wash this hoodie again.

-He always acts nonchalant, but the second Phainon does something cute like holding your hand, Flame Reaver does it immediately after but 10x more intense.

Phainon ruffles your hair? Flame Reaver straight-up picks you up bridal style and refuses to put you down.

Phainon leans on your shoulder? Flame Reaver buries his face in your neck.

-Obsessively observant. If you mention off-handedly that you like a certain snack, expect him to casually pull it out of his bag and hand it to you. ("Hn. You like it, right?")

-Pretends to be mysterious but is actually a massive baby when it comes to you. You once ignored him as a joke, and he sulked in the corner, refusing to make eye contact for an hour. -Acts so cold and unbothered, but the second you leave, his entire mood drops like a crashed stock market.

-The exact type of person to sit in the corner in silence, arms crossed, looking deep in thought— but in reality, he’s just replaying every interaction with you in his head. -Secretly follows your schedule and knows where you usually are. If you’re late or missing, he casually (not casual at all) checks the area where you usually hang out. -Phantom limb syndrome but with you.

-“Something’s missing… Oh. It’s (Name).” -If someone mentions your name, his entire focus snaps to them like a cat hearing a can of tuna open. -Would never admit it, but if you don’t show up for school one day, he’s literally in a bad mood the entire day and glares at everyone like it’s their fault.

-Buys you things without asking. Just silently hands you gifts like it’s normal.

-“Here.” (Casually gives you a ridiculously expensive necklace.) -“Why?” -“Because.” (No further explanation.)

-Carries your bags for you.

-No exceptions. You once tried to carry them yourself, and he literally took them from your hands and stared at you until you gave up.

-If you so much as glance at something for 0.2 seconds, he’s already getting it for you.

“You looked at that for too long. It’s yours now.”

-Prepares things before you even realize you need them.

-You forgot your jacket? He already has one ready. -You’re craving something? He already bought it. You’re tired? He physically drags you somewhere to sit.

☀️ PHAINON!!-

-A ray of sunshine, a ball of energy, but still so down bad for you it’s hilarious.

-Whines if you don’t give him attention for more than five minutes. Literally follows you around like a puppy.

-“Where are you going? Can I come? No? Then, I’ll wait for you right here—don’t take too long!”

-Gets jealous of Flame Reaver but in a “No fair!!” way instead of an intense way.

"Why does he get to sit next to you? I called dibs first!!"

-Super affectionate and has no concept of personal space with you. Will casually put his head on your lap, throw an arm around your shoulder, or pull you into bear hugs without thinking.

-Once tripped while walking and grabbed your hand to steady himself—never let go.

-Loves showing off in front of you. Sports? Academics? He’s suddenly the best at it if you’re watching.

-Cracks terrible jokes just to see you smile. If you ever laugh at them, expect him to grin for hours like an idiot.

-Unlike Flame Reaver, who simmers in quiet obsession, Phainon is loud and proud about liking you.

“(Name) is literally the best person in the world, I’m so lucky to be their best friend! I mean— -Physically cannot sit still. He pouts, sighs dramatically, and acts like you’re gone forever even if you’re just five minutes late. “I am dying. My heart is broken. Oh wait—hold on—(Name) texted me!!”

-Checks his phone every two seconds but pretends he’s not looking. -Catches himself doing it, sighs, and throws his phone onto the table like he’s in a drama.

-Literally complains to everyone about how you’re not there. “Ughhh, I’m so bored. This sucks. (Name) isn’t here.”

-If you don’t answer a text, he texts again.

Text 1: “Hey!!” Text 2 (5 mins later): “What’s up?” Text 3 (10 mins later): “Hello?? You’re not dead, right???” Text 4 (15 mins later): “I miss you. Come back.”

-Unintentionally third-wheels himself into other people’s conversations but makes it everyone’s problem that you’re not there.

Friend: “Hey, Phainon, wanna—” Phainon: “I miss (Reader) :(”

-Loves taking you out and spoiling you with fun experiences.

-“Ohhh, you’ve never been there before? Let’s go! Right now!” -“Wanna try that new café? My treat!”

-Buys you plushies. A concerning amount.

“Look, it reminded me of you!” (Says this every single time.) Your room is slowly turning into a plushie kingdom.

-If he ever sees you even slightly stressed, he immediately drags you away to relax.

“Nope. We’re taking a break. Come on, let’s go get ice cream.”

THE SILLIES AUGHURJFHJIOEAR

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

Their kid is biting other kids at school when asked why they say that's what happens at home

Undertale Sans - He promises the teacher he's going to talk to the child, a little embarrassed. What do you mean that's what's happening at home? It's not. Sans sits down with his child and asks them why they lied to the teacher. He just wants to be sure no one is threatening his child.

Undertale Papyrus - Papyrus is offended that the teacher is half accusing him of biting his child. What kind of monster do you think he is? Well, certainly not this one! For all he knows, his child started biting after they started school, so that's the fault of the school, not his. Papyrus proposes that they tell all the other parents so they can all give a lecture to their children. He can't be the only one with a biting problem!

Underswap Sans - He tells his child that if he continues to bite people, Blue will have no choice but to arrest him. The kid looks at him with wide eyes, then bursts into tears. Ah, shit, no! Blue is panicking, telling the kid it was all a joke and that he's not going to do anything. Do you want to go to a fast food? Come on, say yes! He doesn't want his S/O to know he made the kid cry again lol. He's trying, man!

Underswap Papyrus - I mean, during the entire speech, poor Honey is biting his hand because of how anxious he is to be called in by the teacher, so it's not that hard to understand it's really his fault. Listen, Mam, it's not his fault he can't bite his nails like a human, he literally doesn't have nails. He promises he will talk to his child about this and try to be more careful with this bad habit of his.

Underfell Sans - Red asks his kid what the hell they said to the teacher, trying to show the teacher he's a responsible adult. The kid then says that he saw him bite his other parent ass and his other parent liked it how could they know? Red is MORTIFIED, trying all he can to justify himself to the teacher, who is for sure not paid enough to hear this crap. Everyone decides to act like that meeting never happened, and Red promises to talk to his child about that.

Underfell Papyrus - How does your teacher know it was not in self-defense? Do you have written evidence of his child saying it happened at home? Are you accusing him of mistreating his child? Edge goes full lawyer mode, and he's going to destroy the heck out of this teacher. No evidence, not guilty, and you're lucky he doesn't sue you for defamation against him.

Horrortale Sans - Ah, Oak knows how to get out from this one! As the teacher is lecturing him, he suddenly blinks, looking lost, then randomly picks up his child and leaves lol. Oh no, look at that, he completely forgot what you were all talking about. Oops. Oak takes his child to have some ice cream lol. Who cares what the teacher said? Biting is a very important defense mechanism for skeleton monsters. Well, no, it's not, but it can be, so he can accuse the teacher of being a racist and get away with it.

Horrortale Papyrus - Willow is disappointed that his child both bit people and lied to the teacher. He's going to lecture them for two hours for this, to be sure it doesn't happen again. His child is also going to do chores on the farm for two weeks. He wouldn't care if it didn't give a bad image for all monsters. Living in peace with humans is already hard. Do you want your dad to get in trouble? He doesn't want to be harsh on his child, but he's a bit nervous someone will come to inspect his house and ask him questions.

Swapfell Sans - He takes his kid's arms and bites them in front of the teacher with his pointy teeth. Here. An eye for an eye. Can he go now? The teacher is shocked, the kid is crying, and Nox doesn't understand what's the big deal? Everyone had to learn the hard way at some point, he learned that really young. At least it was not a stab wound, duh, that could have been worse! If the teacher wasn't this scared of him, they would probably call someone to check on the child lol.

Swapfell Papyrus - Yeah, and? The other kid is not dead, right? So that's not that important. Rus is annoyed he has been called in by the teacher. It's their responsibility when the kid is at school, not his. Sure, Rus sometimes bites his brother for no reason, but that's only because he's bored and wants attention. Maybe his kid just wants attention and he feels so lonely in your stupid school that he doesn't have any. That's clearly the teacher's fault and not his. The teacher feels guilty in the end and they don't even know why.

Fellswap Gold Sans - And what was his child supposed to do? Let the others walk on them? His child simply understood before the others that this world is cruel and that to survive, you need to fight. Don't be jealous because his kid has better survival instincts than most, after all, they had the best teacher in the world... Him, of course, not you, ew.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - Well, that wouldn't happen if the other children didn't touch his autistic child like they asked them too. Sure, sometimes he goes non-verbal, but that's not an excuse to push his boundaries. Coffee accuses the teacher of letting other kids bullying his child to the point they feel like biting is the only way to defend themselves. He was like that too when he was a child, maybe learn your lesson and let his child alone.

[iocles]

Charles Chevalier HCs🗣️

THATS MY FAVORITE ANIMAL RIGHT THERE!1!1!! THE CHARLES😋

• Every text he sends has an emoji in it

• Maybe the occasional kaomoji (maybe)

• Shidou is like a big brother to him, or like an older cousin that influences him

• No one can tell if Shidou's influence is good or bad on him,, hummmmm

• Heavy French accent, everyone else may clown on him but he's a proud French man I guess???

• Small ass cleats!! like, everyone else's cleats are probably the size of his head 😕😕

• Really good at things like guessing games, especially at charades

• His answers are always hit or miss though, because he has issues figuring out things that aren't obvious sometimes (just like me frfr)

• Instagram reels user, you can't catch him on tiktok

• He also had a genshin phase, his main was either Bennett or Childe

• His siblings jump him every once a month

• Why? We aren't sure.

• Literally so goated tho!!!

• Shidou's first words to Charles was "Who the fuck did your hair??" and they were friends since

• Literally so stubborn, like it's BAD

• I mean he wings it every time they play what can you expect

• If you tell him not to do something, he'll go do it. Unless it's something like really bad he'll do it

• He's unpredictable in a good way though

• Wanted to only play football for funsies at first, but then just got really into it which led him into where he is now

• Loves saying random things out of pocket?? No real reason behind it other than maybe wanting to get a reaction out of someone

• He absolutely does NOT care about what people think of him

• might be the only person alive that says they don't care about the way people think about them and actually doesn't care at all

• When he was in the first grade, he had a field trip to the zoo, and when it was time to leave the zoo he'd gotten lost and the school buses forgot him at the zoo jajaj

• Had him making corny jokes the next day talking about some "i guess you could say,, i was too busy,,, monkeying around,, haha"

• He makes like really bad puns sometimes. really bad.

• Maybe it was because of that horrible undertale phase he also had... just maybe..

• Unfortunately he is like one of those middle school boys who only post about soccer and their favorite players

• Has some stupid caricature of Ronaldinho as his profile pictures for every social media he has?? it's literally for stuff like his "professional" email (his personal email) and his school email

• When people take pictures of him in the dark, his eyes give like a glare in the light like when you take a flash picture of a cat

okay that's all I have!! i haven't made a blue lock post in a while😭😭 i noticed that i am SO inconsistent but im a busy girl so i don't always have time jajajaj

[witherby]

Does Mouse not care their business is super not moral? They feed and entertain murderers, kidnappers, drug dealers who probably sold to kids too, crime bosses, terrorists, and overall bad people who do bad things most of the time only for extra money and not out of need.

Does the police not care? Or civilians that may have gotten hurt by the criminals or their dear ones gotten killed by them and now see the same people who broke so many, go to a place that got created especially for them like a prize?

Does Batman not care that the criminals he refuses to put a bullet in continue to break out of Blackgate Prison and Arkham Asylum to sew chaos across the city? He just keeps wrangling up these killers and psychos and general bad people non-lethally and depositing them back into the buildings designated to keep them there with no success.

Does the GCPD not care that their reputation is in tatters because the system designed to handle crime is failing, and they have to rely on volunteer vigilantes to keep this city from becoming an irreparable warzone to be dismissed by the rest of the world and nuked off the map?

Wouldn't it be easier if every bad person just died? Put a bullet in the Joker's head. He's the worst of the worst. Surely just him at least, and everything will be fine!

Well...okay, but we made an exception for Joker, but Killer Croc is literally in the name! Just kill him, too. Bye bye, mister Jones! Should've tried harder!

Hmm...and come to think of it, Mr. Freeze is doing a lot. It's for the sake of finding a cure for his wife, he's doing it for love, but he's still a bad person! Kill him, too! And, y'know, maybe we should kill Harley and Ivy as well! And Penguin! And Clayface! And —

Oh, look at that. They're all dead. What a load off Gotham's back, am I right? Hey y'know...we got rid of the big guns, but crime is still happening. There's still murderers and rapists and robbers and arsonists running around despite knowing the consequences the more violent players had to face. Why not clear them out, too, since the gun is still smoking? What's one more?

What's one more?

What's one more?

What's one more?

What's one more?

The systems in place are not working. Arkham needs reform. Blackgate needs reform. The city needs reform. It's a festering cesspool of crime and misery and everyone is doing their best to improve upon it in the only ways they can. Have you ever had a really fuckin bad day and had it all turn around because of one act of kindness? Have you ever been halted from making an impulsive, possibly irreparable decision due to someone else's altruism?

Maybe a little café on the corner wouldn't stop you from committing a crime. But going in there for a coffee and being treated with the patience and respect everyone deserves sure isn't gonna hurt.

Truce Juice is not the end-all solution to Gotham's problems and Mouse isn't pretending that it is. But it's something. It's making an impact. It's been turned into a neutral ground in Gotham and successful enough to franchise.

You don't have to like someone to provide them with good customer service. You don't have to like them to take their money and give them a bagel. But maybe the bagel was the thing that got rid of their hanger, cleared their head, and stopped them from robbing the bank two blocks over.

It's something.

[heartz4levi]

hey vro....me again(^^; i know, i come back with another one too soon.....but your writing is too delicious...

anwww i want to make a req, if that isnt obvious :3.. ivantill + malereader poly:333 i picked malereader cuz i personally see ivan as a canonically gay character...hope you dont mind (<_<;) till is my bisexual king tho:3 depends on you if you wanna make it sfw or nsfw, im not picky...im just gay.....

sorrie i think i yap too much, anw thanks for your time luv:3 take care, remember that you value!♡

-🫐anon

make you fall in love, like a choir sings !

☆ thinking abt ivantill + reader poly hcs . . .

☆ ivan (alnst) ,, till (alnst) ,, male reader . . sfw + nsfw ,, literally every genre under the sun is included in this one work ,, insecurity talk ,, some people hate but ivantill and reader are thriving ,, everyone is a switch ,, i push the ivan freak in the sheets agenda as per usual ,, attempted passionate love making turns into reader and ivantill devouring each other (figuratively not literally).

there is no such thing as a boring day in the household you live in with ivan and till.

the chaos starts early in the morning. ivan is the one who tends to wake up first, but he never lets neither you nor till get out of bed until he's spent enough time waking up and cuddling you two simultaneously (as if you haven't been trapped in his arms the entire night).

till does protest and tries to squirm his way out of bed, however the success rate is low. ivan isn't letting go of him and you're not helping, which leaves till a huffing and puffing grump almost every morning.

whenever ivan doesn't feel an overwhelming need to slow down your shared mornings, he gets out of bed and makes breakfast for the three of you, offering a pleasant start to your day.

the three of you are inseparable — even if all of you have work to attend to on a certain day, the evening will be spent relaxing at home while attached to each other like a bunch of leeches. till's social battery is drained and therefore won't say much nor will he really move from his spot. ivan is either yapping in your ear about what happened during his day or he'll be completely silent, playing with your hair.

on days where all of your schedules are clear, though, best believe the three of you are leaving the comfort of your home for once. there is no such thing as just you and till going out, or just you or ivan, or just them two. no! it's one for all and all for one. with your contrasting personalities that, surprisingly enough, don't clash, each and every date is something new and fun.

the three of you unabashedly match outfits, down to the accessories. they're not the kind of matching outfits that are nearly identical save for someone wears a skirt instead of pants or something, the kind of matching outfits you'd see generic couples on the street wear. but rather, they're outfits that showcase all of your personal styles while also complementing each other, whether it be through colors or patterns.

the three of you are head—turners for sure. charismatic, talented, handsome and a good sense of style? people can't decide if they want to be one of you or if they want to be with all of you.

well, that's the good side of being head—turners. of course, people who scowl when seeing two people of the same gender together or when seeing multiple people, regardless of the gender, together exist. unfortunately for them, you three tick both of those boxes. do you care though? nope!

if you begin to feel a little bit self—conscious because of the judgmental stares, ivan will be quick to comfort you via words and till will do his best to make you feel less worried as well via awkward pats on the back or on the crown of your head. he's not great with affection, but he's even worse when it comes to using his words.

the two of them never let you be under the weather. both of them are observant and will pick up on the little telltale signs right away. till's preferred method of lightening your spirits includes executing acts of service for you. that means preparing one of your favourite meals or desserts, bringing you snacks, silently handing you small trinkets that look so silly they'll put a smile on your face.

on the other hand, ivan is much more direct. if you're not aversed to physical touch he'll give you as many snuggles as you need until you're not so upset anymore, he'll talk to you and offer advice or sweet compliments.

you thought days with them were memorable? oh, but the nights you spend together sometimes..

have the three of you tried to engage in passionate love making before? yes, you have. did it always end up turning in rough, almost animalistic fucking because neither of you can conceal the pure desire you harbor for one another? again, yes.

ivan is open to anything and everything. total freak in bed. till isn't as fond of experimenting, preferring to stick to what he knows he likes. regardless of their differences, they both love you in such a way under the sheets that you feel like a lamb stuck inbetween two wolves — except the actual predator/prey concept isn't prominent. they're not claiming you.

they're not claiming you, they're openly displaying their love and adoration for you. till is the type to whisper praises into your ears, going on about how you're such a good, pliant boy for them while ivan loses himself in the warmth of your hole.

courtesy of ivan and his versatility, each night spent exploring each other's bodies incorporates a new element into your ever—changing routine of sorts. despite what you might think, it isn't that tough to coax till into trying something new out. just smother his face in kisses while ivan uses words to convince him and he'll be putty in both of your hands in no time!

you three have tried every bottom and top combination present on the face of this planet. ivan has ravaged and been ravaged, till gave into his desires in a selfish manner and has offered himself to you and your boyfriend in a stark, selfless contrast, you have done whatever you pleased with the two of them and have allowed yourself to become nothing but a hole for them to use or a dick for them to ride.

each session is intense. you're not the only one heaving and sweating once all of the collective energy in the room is depleted, don't worry.

still, no matter how exhausted you, ivan or till are, aftercare will always be prioritized. someone will get up, clean the mess you've made and then grab something fulfilling to eat and something hydrating to drink. no, falling asleep in each other's arms is not forgotten about. ivan always ends up pulling both you and till into his arms mid—slumber anyway.

[techmomma]

Some more cleaning and mitigation tips, from your friendly front desk at a mitigation company (a part 2 to my first post of general mitigation and cleaning tips):

Anything involving sewage needs to be demolished and taken out. Sorry if you really really love that flooring or you literally just got it put in yesterday. Sewage isn't just YOUR poopwater, it's EVERYONE'S poopwater, it's farm poopwater, it's hospital poopwater, it can harbor MRSA and tuberculosis and staph and parasites and a host of things I don't even wanna THINK about.

That said, if you have a sewage backup or leak, and it's not cleaned up and demolished properly (aka, you have a scumlord owner of the house or someone willfully ignorant), THEY DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR HEALTH. Get the hell out of there. That is dangerous, and at the very least, it will guaranteed be moldy behind any surface.

The above does not count for people who literally cannot afford it, but also understand what is going on if it's not cleaned up properly.

How well something cleans depends entirely on the material. The more porous a material, the worse it will be to clean. For example, if you live in a house that belonged to a smoker for 20 years, how well you will be able to get the smell out will depend on the kind of paint in the walls. Generally, a shiny varnished paint will just need some elbow grease, but a matte paint (more porous) will probably need to just be entirely removed to get the smell out.

Speaking of smoke, smoke from protein-based fires require different cleaning than just regular soot. So, a soot stain from a candle needs to be cleaned differently than if you burned a pot of soup on the stove. The proteins get STICKY. (And yes, proteins come from more things than just meat.)

A lot of cleaning is chemistry. We use specific cleaners for a reason. So for example, going back to nicotine smoke, there's different chemicals that can help get rid of it. But some of those will also eat the paint or could give you ulcers in your lungs. We get trained (to a degree) on how different chemicals will react.

All of which can be further affected by temperature.

Mold on materials like concrete and wood needs to be cleaned, sanded, and then ideally given a coat of some kind of sealant. None of which will necessarily guarantee mold removal because mold is an unknowable and unkillable god, but you can get pretty damn close.

That said, there is always a degree of mold on literally everything. There's just certain molds (and in certain quantities) that our bodies are cool with! And some that they are not. This came with being alive on planet earth.

Smells don't always indicate mold. Nor does water damage. Nor does staining. Sometimes materials just get kind of stinky and discolored after they get wet for a while. (But all of that doesn't mean it's not mold, if you catch what I mean.)

If you suspect mold and want a confirmation/test of what kind of mold it is, you probably want to call a hygienist. Maybe miti companies do mold testing where you live, but here, they gotta be two separate companies (because you gotta take samples and culture them in a sterile environment in a petri dish and use special machines to determine what kinds of molds the sample contains; mitigation companies are basically blue collar cleaners and deconstruction/sometimes reconstruction crews who work in warehouses).

Believe it or not, our guys swear by magic erasers, btw. We don't use that specific brand, but the generic name is melamine foam sponges. You can even use them to get cat hair out of fabric. They're dope as hell for cleaning.

[perksoftime]

𝙏𝙃𝙄𝙉𝙂𝙎 𝙒𝙀 𝘾𝘼𝙉’𝙏 𝙏𝘼𝙆𝙀 𝘽𝘼𝘾𝙆

𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 5

warnings: ANGST, fighting, cussing, peters mean, but so is reader lowk

The week passed without any sort of incidents – after the bridge, and Pepper’s increasing questions about your hand that you couldn’t answer, you decided to lay low, to try to blend in. So you went to school, tried to listen in your classes, and came straight home to simply lay in bed and stare at the grey walls of your bedroom. You weren’t even thinking…just staring, mind as empty as a void. The device on your desk kept on beckoning, calling you to watch. But you couldn’t do it. You couldn’t face your father, knowing what you had become.

He’d be disappointed. Just like everyone else.

——————————————

Friday. Just one more day and it would be the weekend, and you could be free – for two days, at least. A small reprieve from your suffering. 

You still hadn’t talked to Peter. After that first day, you didn’t even look at him, deciding that if he wasn’t going to try, then neither were you. You were done. There was nothing left for you to give, to try. Every last drop of you had shriveled up, only a husk of who you used to be remaining. 

At lunch, you would hide away in the library, absentmindedly reading whatever book your eyes sought out first. It was always empty, which granted you a small amount of peace. Until today. As your eyes grazed over the pages, not really retaining anything, you heard the chair in front of you move, and someone sat down. Annoyance filled you, since the whole library was empty, and they could’ve sat literally anywhere else but here. 

Curiosity overtook you, and you slightly lifted your gaze upwards, trying to see who it was. You recognized her. She sat in front of you in English, and was extremely well-spoken when she did speak. Her hair was tied back messily into an updo, and she was staring back at you. No point in hiding it now. Slowly, you put down the book, and raised a brow. Why would she be sitting here? 

“Hey.” She spoke, as if she knew you. “You’re Y/N, right? First block English?”

“…Yeah?” Why was she making small talk? Nobody had tried to talk to you the whole week, which made you glad. You didn’t want to explain yourself to anyone. 

“I’m MJ.”

“Uh…okay?” Wanting her to leave you alone, you looked back down at your book, trying to appear uninterested in ongoing “conversation”.

“Why are you sitting here?” The girl — MJ, questioned. “Cafs’ on the other side of school.”

You closed the book. “Could ask you the same thing. Don’t you have friends?”

“Don’t you?”

“Just got here. And I don’t really do friends.” Take the hint.

She shrugged, a smirk tugging on her lips. “Well, maybe I don’t either.”

For some reason, your urgency to get away seemed to vanish, if only a little. For some reason, this girl wanted to talk to you. And you didn’t stop her. The two of you continued a light banter, and she didn’t press you for answers. She didn’t ask why you suddenly transferred, or why you were uninterested in making friends. She didn’t even mention your dad – that was a first. It felt like every conversation you’d recently had was about him. She treated you like a regular person, something that was rare to experience nowadays. 

Something was different about her. She never asked about the very noticeable purple blooming on your hand, or why you barely cracked a smile at her jokes. And you found that you didn’t mind her presence.

——————————————

Pepper was gone. For the weekend, at least. Apparently, there were some issues at headquarters or something, and she went to go check it out, bringing Morgan with her. You doubted she trusted you to take care of her, which was probably for the best. You’d only mess her up. Just like yourself.

That's how you found yourself in some random grocery store, trying to decide what you wanted to cook for dinner. You’d deliberately gone to one further away from your home to kill time, but there was no point. Nothing sounded good to you – your appetite was almost nonexistent these days. There was always some kind of nausea looming over you. You also just found no comfort in eating anymore. 

You were about to call it quits, deciding to just eat some random food in your pantry, when you heard someone shout your name from the other end of the aisle.

“Y/N!” May. She waved, rushing over to you, basket in hand, and almost suffocated you with her arms. 

“Hey–May, I c-cant breathe.” You stifled out, and May loosened her grip, though it took her another moment before she fully let go.

“Oh, I haven’t seen you in so long…You never pick up my calls anymore.” She sounded sad, and you really did feel horrible, you just didn’t know how to tell her why you pulled away. You weren’t even sure what Peter told her. 

“I-I know. I’ve just been kinda busy. Y’know. School. And stuff.” You could tell she wasn’t fully buying your excuses, but she didn’t press. You were grateful for that. May ran her hands down your arms, and you wondered if she could feel your stiffness, the coldness of your body under your zip-up. It was only October, but you were already freezing, something that began ever since you came back. A lot of things had changed since then. Oftentimes you found yourself forgetting how things used to be, how you used to be. It was getting harder to remember, and it seemed like maybe this was all your life ever was. A faded memory lost in your mind. 

All of a sudden, May’s eyes began to light up, and you knew she was concocting some idea, one that you probably weren’t going to like.

“You should come over for dinner!” She beamed, shaking her basket. “I’m cooking. It’ll be nice to catch up.” You hoped your distaste wasn’t visible on your face. It’s not that you didn’t want to spend time with May, you just knew who else would be there. And judging by your (lack of) interactions at school, it would just be plain awkward. 

“I don’t know, May…I should probably get ho-” She cut you off, face growing stern. It didn’t look like she was giving you a choice.

“Happy told me Pepper’s out of the city. No more excuses – you’re coming.” Her features softened. “Please?” 

You couldn’t say no to that. Sighing, you reluctantly agreed, not wanting to destroy another relationship – you didn’t have many left. She smiled at you, one that made it feel like everything would be okay, even though you knew it wasn’t. Quickly paying, May led you out of the store, and you silently prayed that he wouldn’t be there, that maybe he’d get caught up doing something, or get stuck in patrol, or anything, just so the two of you wouldn’t meet. It was one thing to go to the same school, but to be in his apartment with his aunt? You didn’t know if you’d be able to maintain your composure, to pretend like everything was okay between the two of you. Maybe that's why May was so insistent – perhaps she could tell something was off, that something had cracked and shattered in your relationship. But what she didn’t realize was that whatever had happened, it was beyond repair. You doubted that anything could fix this mess you found yourself in.

——————————————

“Alright!” May exclaimed as she shut the oven door. The cooking process was tedious – you’d forgotten how terrible May was at cooking. You would’ve been done a while ago if it hadn’t been for the amount of times you had to redirect her and stop her from adding too much of the ingredients. And it would’ve been okay, except that there was now a giant mess sprawled across the counters. May grimaced at the sight. “Uh, maybe we should’ve ordered in…” 

Just slightly, you chuckled. Being with May did make you feel a bit better, so maybe she was right to insist. The cooking helped clear your mind, at least. 

Peter hadn’t appeared yet either, and you were beginning to assume he wasn’t going to come at all. May didn’t mention anything about it either. It was as if she was walking on eggshells around you, like one wrong move could send you flying. Which, it probably would. Even the smallest things irked you nowadays. It’s not like you wanted them to. You just found that with each passing day, it became harder and harder to hide your feelings and control your emotions. The switch was broken, leaving you hypersensitive to everything around you, like something was out for your blood. 

The two of you began to wipe the counters, trying to fix the chaos that erupted. You were a good team, working in sync, and soon the kitchen was almost spotless, maybe better than it had been before. There was one stain on the counter that wouldn’t budge, and as you put all your strength into getting it out, you heard May speak up from beside you. 

“Can I ask you something, Y/N?” She sounded weary, like she was uncertain, and you sensed that the oncoming question wouldn’t be one you liked.

“Sure. You can ask me anything, May.” Could she, though? You continued to scrub at the counter, not wanting to look her in the eye, because if you did, every wall you put up would come tumbling down. You couldn’t do that to her.

Her voice was quiet, a contrast to her normally loud tone. “Look, I don’t mean for this to come off the wrong way, and maybe I’m just reading into things too much…but did something happen between you and Peter?” And there it was. You stopped scrubbing, the rag shriveling under your squeezing hand. “You don’t come over anymore, or pick up my calls, and Peter doesn’t mention you either. And I tried to ask him about it, but he just keeps avoiding the question and gets a weird look on his face.”

Gulping, your eyes shut, and you rubbed your face as if that would give you some kind of answer. You weren’t sure what to even say – you didn’t know what had fully happened yourself. It wasn’t something gradual. It was sudden, like a snap. One second, Peter was with you and the next, he was nowhere to be found. There were no warning signs, just an immediate response, an outcome you never could’ve imagined.

Tell her. Exhaling, you braced yourself to finally face the truth, to tell someone what you had tried to deny for so long. Just as you opened your mouth, the words about to escape and will themself into creation, the jingling of keys caught your attention, and your heart sank.

Shit. Panicking, you tried, and failed, to see any way out of this situation. This was a bad idea – you never should’ve come here, or even left your house. You should’ve stood your ground and not succumbed to May’s invite. It was naive to think that he wouldn’t be here, in his own house. 

May’s head perked up at the sound, and she gave you an apologetic look. You’d have to answer her another time. But you think she already knew what you were going to say. 

“May, you home?” Peter called out, and once he rounded the corner, he stopped dead in his tracks, not expecting you to be here. Confused, he glanced towards May, who only smiled and put her hands on your shoulders, keeping you from running away.

“Look who I found! Thought we could all have dinner together. Just like old times.” You could tell May was trying to keep things civil, but you weren’t sure how long you’d be able to last. Peter winced, but quickly covered it up with a small, fake smile. From the way he avoided looking at you, he was probably wondering what you told May. There was a small bruise on his face, indicating he had just come back from patrol, and you had a feeling that he wished he didn’t leave early. The silence that engulfed the room pressed in on all of you, daring someone to speak. A ding rang out, signaling that the food was done. 

“Who's hungry?”

This was going to suck.

——————————————

You pushed around the food on your plate, your small appetite from before having completely disappeared. If you ate anything, you felt you would throw it all up in an instant. The three of you sat silently, the scraping of forks being the only sound present. You kept your head down, not wanting to make eye contact with either of them, especially Peter. The anger you felt only continued to grow – you had lied before. You did care. A lot. It made you feel stupid to care so much about someone who couldn’t even look you in the eye. 

“What happened to your hand?” 

“Huh?” Dazed, you lifted your eyes and saw May looking down at your hand. Shoot. You had forgotten to hide it like before. “I fell.” It was a terrible lie, and she knew it.

“You fell?”

“Yep.” She wasn’t going to get anything out of you.

“That looks pretty bad…I don’t think you can get a bruise like that from falling. What do you think, Peter?” For the first time all evening, he glanced at you. He knew you were lying—he’d gotten enough bruises from his night job to know that falling doesn’t create a bruise pattern like that. 

“She probably got into another fight.” He mumbled mockingly under his breath, so that only you could hear. Of course Happy had to open his mouth and spill everything about you. 

“What was that?” May leaned in, unaware of what he had said. Your eyes met, and he shook his head slightly, a smirk dancing on his face. 

“Nothing.” Under the table, you pinched yourself, not wanting to cause a scene. Keep it together. It’s almost over.

But when you peered back over to Peter, and saw no remorse on his face, you were done. Fork clattering against the plate, you let out a small, bitter laugh, running your hands through your already messy hair. Quickly, you stood up, the chair almost falling behind you, and you didn’t bother to push it in.

“Thanks for dinner, May, but I gotta go.” 

“You barely ate. Come on, sit back down.” She motioned to the chair, trying to keep everything from falling apart, but you were done with this crap.

“I'm sorry…I just can’t, okay? I’m not gonna keep pretending like nothing is wrong. Whatever you think happened between us, May,” You motioned towards Peter, “it's probably close enough to the truth. Please, don’t try calling. I won’t answer.” The dejected look on her face made you want to cry, but you held it together, because if you started, you don’t know if you’d be able to stop. 

Before she could say anything else, or even stop you from leaving, you bolted out the door, trying to get out of this godforsaken building, and this horrible night, and all of your actions. Down the stairs and out the door, the cold wind welcomed you, and you could finally breathe for a split second. Your feet moved fast, but as you left the building, a voice called out to you, one that made your blood boil and your heart harden. 

“Y/N, wait!” Peter ran out from behind you. Through all your chaos, you hadn’t realized he was following you. You were sick of trying to understand whatever was going through his mind, and you were done holding back.

“What, Peter? What could you possibly have to say to me now, after all this time?” You shouted, begging for an answer. But all he did was stare at you, his face holding an unreadable expression.

Looking up at the sky, you tried to hold back your tears, a scoff escaping your throat. “I can’t believe you, Peter. Even now, you're not even trying!”

Silence.

“My dad died.” You whispered, your voice barely audible. “And I needed you. I called, texted–I came to your apartment, and all you did was ignore me, and pretend like I didn’t exist for months. Guess he didn’t mean that much to you after all.” 

“That’s not fair.” Finally, he spoke, though a part of you wished he hadn’t. You made eye contact, daring him to continue. “You don’t get to make me the villain, alright? You weren’t there. I saw him die with my own eyes. I watched him take his last breath right in front of me, and I couldn’t do anything to save him. So you do not get to tell me how to feel, Y/N.”

“Stop acting like the victim! You think you’re in pain? How do you think I feel? He was all I had! You knew him what, 3 years? I knew him for thirteen! I can’t sleep, or eat, or even function anymore. Ever since we came back, I’ve been barely surviving. And you couldn’t even be bothered to just check up on me. I don’t understand, Peter. What changed?” Exasperated, you got closer to him, just wanting some sort of closure, some kind of explanation. 

He turned his head away from you. 

“Everytime I look at you, I see him. I see the colour fade from his face, I see the life leaving him, I see his cold body laying against the ship with his eyes wide and stuck.” He sighed, rubbing his face. 

“That’s it? Your only reason is that you're in pain? That's such bullshit.”

When he looked back at you, you saw his demeanour change. His eyes darkened, and he looked like someone you no longer knew.

“I don’t owe you anything, Y/N. Things change. I’ve changed-“

“You think I haven’t? Look around you – everything is different. But that doesn’t mean that we should just forget everything about who we used to be. Maybe you’re right. I wasn’t there. But you do not get to act like you're worse off than me. You don’t understand what it’s like.” You pointed a finger at him. 

“I don’t understand? Are you forgetting that I lost my parents too? And Ben? Get in line, Y/N. You’re not special, so stop acting like a bitch about everything. Happy told me what you’ve been doing. You think that’s what Tony would want?”

Your eyes widened. “Shut up, Peter. Don’t act like you know everything about him. If he were here, he’d be disappointed in you.”

“Yeah? At least I’m doing something—I’m not being a burden to everyone around me. You think Pepper wants to take care of you? She already has a kid. She doesn’t need you.” 

Shocked, you gaped at him. You never would’ve thought that he would ever say such things to you. 

“You’re right. You did change. You got mean, and bitter, and I don’t know how I ever loved someone like you. I wish you never got bit by that goddamn spider, I wish my dad never met you – I wish I never met you. And I wish I never had feelings for you, because maybe then everything would hurt less and I could move on with my life and forget that we ever happened. I regret everything.” 

You knew that hit a chord, because he didn’t say anything after that. He just kept looking at you with those eyes, colder and darker than you remembered. 

You thought it was over. Everything you had wanted to say for months had finally come out, and you had nothing left to give him. One last time, you looked him up and down, and turned your back to go home. 

“I can’t believe Tony died for you.” 

Stopping, you slowly faced him again, unsure if you had heard him right. 

“What did you say?” 

He looked more confident now, stepping closer to you. 

“I said,” he repeated. “I can’t believe he died for this. For you. It wasn’t worth it. You weren’t worth it. He should be here instead. At least he had something of valu–”

Maybe if you weren’t so sleep deprived, and maybe if you weren’t so pissed out of your mind, you would have responded differently. But you didn’t. 

You felt your fist connect with his face before you could even register what you were doing. All those months of anger had finally caught up to you, bursting out at the seams. You weren’t strong by any means, but you put all you had into that hit. He stumbled back, surprised at your reaction. You didn’t even know you had that in you. 

Of course, May picked that exact moment to come out, and witnessed the aftermath of your fight. From her perspective, it probably looked bad. You admit it was a lapse in judgement, but you didn’t care anymore. She could think whatever she wanted about you. It didn’t matter. 

“Fuck you, Peter. I’m done – we’re done. For good. I never want to talk to you ever again. You’re not the same guy you were before the blip. I don’t know what the hell happened to you, and I don’t want to find out.” Slowly, you backed away, but not before saying one final sentence. 

“I hate you.”

-

taglist: @elianamarie-blog @shirp-collector-of-fixations @heartsforgr4ci3

let me know if you want to be tagged!