#as someone who also sucks at seeing things

[frownyalfred]

Hi. I'm not a canon purist and enjoy some fanon content very much, but I do think people in the fandom should at least familiarize themselves with the canon content and source material. It's easier to break the "rules" so to speak and experiment with canon when you know what that actually is. I've noticed a lot of fans that are only familiar with fanon criticise content that doesn't line up with what they believe to be canon but isn't. The Red Hood for example. I've seen writers who portray him as the violent criminal he is in much of the canon be completely decimated by Jason fans who only know fanon and the retconned version of Red Hood and completely deny canon even exists and refuse to even glance at the comics. Transformative works are important and playing in the sandbox is for everyone but fandom literally cannot exist without canon. Canon is important and people can do whatever they want with it but they should respect it enough to at least look at it.

Hi anon, I'm going to hold your hand as I say this, and I will say it as gently as I can: This is still a form of canon purism.

We can absolutely agree that readers shouldn't berate or abuse writers for how they choose to portray characters in fic, whether that's a more canon-faithful characterization or a popular fanon version. If readers don't like how a character is portrayed, we should encourage them to hit the back button instead.

I want to draw your attention to some of the words you used in your ask above: "should" "respect" "decimated" etc. Those are some strong words to describe how you think people need to behave, in order to exist in fandom. Of course, there is no fandom without canon source material -- I'm not denying that. But with such a wide and varied canon, the DC fandom has examples of the Red Hood you mention above, AND the "retconned" version you also reference. Both are canon, as in actually, officially, canon. WFA is canon, and that Red Hood looks very different from the Red Hood you describe.

Now, I think your issue is that you enjoy a certain version of canon, and you're frustrated that the fandom doesn't also, as trends ebb and flow, enjoy that canon as much as you do. Again, I want to acknowledge that just because a certain version is popular, it doesn't give folks the right to berate authors for writing a different version. But again, I don't think that's what we're really talking about here. From your ask's tone, I think you're suggesting that people should, in order to participate in fandom, read that older canon, that different version, or as you say, "glance at it" before enjoying or writing the fanon version.

Guess what? They actually, really, really, don't have to. It sounds like you have some issues with judging your fellow fandom members who don't read what you do or reference certain canon. But the magic of this fandom is, you can enter it at any point. We're a big pool, and if someone's entry point is the Lego Batman movie and that's it, that's still valid.

Fandom stems from canon, yes, but I almost never hear people talk about movies, or web comics, or other media when they talk about "required reading." It's always a comic. I really wish people would reflect on that before suggesting it as the one true path to being a fan.

The other thing I don't see asks like these reference ever is the reality that sometimes a fandom outstrips its canon material, and that that's an eventuality in some spaces. Fanon interpretations become popular, and people write about those specific characterizations or scenarios. They ebb and flow, like I mentioned, and some are more canon-faithful than others. Some completely reject canon, and again -- it's still fandom. It doesn't make it better or worse than a more canon-faithful fic. It's just different.

I had a couple asks about this topic a few weeks ago, and I'm assuming you haven't read those or you likely wouldn't have sent me this ask. But in them, I discuss how sometimes we need to suck it up and be unhappy that canon-faithful fics aren't as popular in a fandom at a specific time, and stop punishing fellow fans for writing and enjoying those fics. And we really need to stop shitting on them publicly on Tumblr.

Because often, what you're really saying is that you wish more people would write more canon-faithful fics, and stop writing ones about fanon topics you don't enjoy or think are accurate. And to that, I again say, there is nothing you can or should do to change that behavior from others. If you want to read it, write it, enjoy it, etc, do it yourself. Build the comic-faithful community here, write fics and promote challenges, create a discord channel and discuss your "required reading" there.

We are all writing and reading fanfiction at the end of the day. It is a great equalizer in many ways. My silly Lego Batman fic is just as valid as a canon-faithful rewrite of a certain Batman issue. One is not better than the other, or more deserving of respect. You will never get me to admit otherwise on this blog.

tl;dr: people should absolutely not berate authors who choose to write canon-faithful characterizations. however, there are layers of judgement and disdain many DC comics canon-faithful authors/readers have for their fellow fans that I think we need to examine critically in order to coexist respectfully.

[rsepetals]

glasses. thinking about loser! choso who begsssss you to ride his face while he wears his glasses. nsfw bc im a freak, face ridin’, bj, public sex, sub!choso. drabble. minors do not interact!

loser!choso whom everyone labeled as weird. he often exhibited awkwardness, frequently stumbling over his words and never truly finding his place among his peers. the students on the rather small campus often speculated about how he had managed to win your affection, ultimately attributing it to financial means. they found it difficult to believe that someone like choso kamo could be with someone like you without some form of concealed advantage.

choso’s awkwardness was often the subject of whispers and jokes, but you saw past all of that. you saw the kindness in his heart, the way he would go out of his way to help others, even if it meant making a fool of himself. you appreciated his genuine nature, his ability to make you laugh, and the way he looked at you as if you were the most precious thing in the world.

choso was also great in bed. shockingly so. at first you could barely believe how great it was, how great he was. you didn't know how to explain it, but you couldn't get enough of it.

“oh cho,” soft moans continuously bubble from your raw throat, hands shakily pulling against dark roots as you glide swollen lips across his face. clammy fingers grip into your plush thighs, pulling you harder against his mouth as he sucks on your clit, his nose digging into your slick folds, tongue hungrily lapping. “feels so good,” your head hangs low as you bite your lips, a poor attempt to stifle your whines in the back of the library.

he loves the way the rims press into the sides of his face and dig into the bridge of his nose with each roll of your thick hips. his face soaked, your wetness covering his chin. his glasses foggy, yet his eyes never leave yours. he watches you come undone above him, his cock achingly hard. his mouth watering as he licks his lips clean of you.

still quivering, you slide off of him, kneeling on the floor. effortlessly your fingers pull him through the zipper of his jeans. he gasps when you grab his base, and begin stroking him. his breaths are ragged, back arching, hand fisting his backpack beside him as he bucks his hips into your warm palm. “m’not gonna last i-i-fuckkkk.” you’ve barely touched the man and he’s already falling apart. sweat beading down his forehead despite the temperature in the old building being a cool seventy.

he pulsates, pre cum oozing out of his slit and dribbling down his pretty shaft, coating your fingers. “it’s okay baby boy.” you hum softly pressing a kiss to the tip, swiping your tongue along the head, tasting him. a long drawn out whine has him clamping his hands over his mouth, hips stuttering.

“oh my god, oh my god.” he’s an incoherent mess as you slowly take him in your mouth, inch by inch, until you can feel him hitting the back of your throat. choso is huge, the thickest you had ever had and it was always a struggle to take him fully.

he grunts as you start bobbing your head up and down, his head thrown back and his toes curling in his vans. you hollow your cheeks, sucking him, stroking his base, using your spit as lube to slick him up. he’s close, you can tell by the way his hips are thrusting lazily into your mouth. his thighs tense and his balls tightening. you continued your ministrations, your free hand cupping and rolling his heavy sack, squeezing him.

“love you s’much!” his hands pull gently on your hair, tugging you off him as his release spurts all over his chest. you pant, your glossy eyes wide and your pupils blown, hand steadily pumping him through his orgasm. “that’s it sweet boy, let it out.”

he’s seeing white as his head tilts forward. he watches with a gulp as you run your finger along his cum covered chest, scooping some of his release and pushing it past your lips, licking it off your fingers. he can’t help the blush that paints his cheek and you chuckle, tucking him back into his pants with a forehead kiss.

loser!choso, who really loves his girlfriend and also really needs a new shirt.

𝑅𝒮𝐸𝒫𝐸𝒯𝒜𝐿𝒮 all rights reserved. comments, reblogs and likes are highly appreciated ♡︎

[mushies-stories]

Naruto men eating you out 18+

Warning: oral, smut, 18+

Kakashi

He is a little lazy about it. Slow and kind of does his own thing. Having you on your back is his favorite position to have you in. just so he can lay comfortable between your soft thighs and lick at your sweet little pussy at his own leisure. 

“You taste so good. Could stay like this for hours, would you like?”

It's not like he doesn't focus on your actual pleasure though, in fact he is quite in tune with every reaction you have and what does make you feel good. He knows if he adds just a bit more pressure, licked or sucked a little more and you'd be pushed right over the edge. 

He simply just loves to listen to you, feel the way your legs twitch in his hold, everything about you. Until you finally gasp out how much you need to cum, he's perfectly content savouring every lick. Even then, he can never just stop at that. He needs your pussy to be a dripping mess and you to be nice and worn out to feel like he's done a good enough job.

Sasuke

A fucking tease. Something about watching you struggle to hold yourself up right when he's kneeling down between your legs makes his cock switch. One leg over his shoulder while he grabs your hips to keep you still. Even when he's the one who initiated the interaction, he never lets you cum right away. He teases you before even giving your pussy a single lick. Biting and sucking little bruises on your thighs. 

Pushes you to the edge over and over. Even when you beg him to let you cum, if he's in a mod he simply just pulls back and nips at your thighs. 

“Oh no, no cumming until I tell you too.” 

Once he finally lets you cum, he keeps going until you can't help but cum again and again. He doesnt let you stop until your legs cant hold you up anymore. Until you're falling into his lap with shaky legs.

Kiba

Will devour your pussy. His favorite thing is spending hours with his face in your cunt, making a mess of you. However… because it's in my head, I can't stop thinking about how if you both were training or on a mission with some down time, he would have you bent over a log with your pants and panties around your thighs or ankles and just going for it. Getting maybe a little feral about it. 

Licking you from behind and shoving his tongue deep in your pussy. Wrapping his hands around the front of your thighs and yanking you back if you try to pull away. Growling into your dripping pussy and making sure you cum hard so he can slurp up your mess. 

“See, no one's watching, just let me taste you a little more.”

Doesnt stop until you tell him, or you know someone was approaching. Probably happened once and now the man jumps at every opportunity to do it again. 

Shikamaru

Also lazy, but even more than kakashi. Likes to lay on his back and be able to pull you down onto his face. It's not the only way he will, but it's the usual way he will. Does not hold back on trying however, he puts all of his efforts into his tongue game. 

Knows your body like the back of your hand and has your legs shaking around him in no time. Knows what to say to make your pussy dripping for him, touches you in all the right stops and sucks your clit just right. Teases you with his tongue until you're whining about needing to cum. 

“So wet, about to cum? Go on, let go for me.”

Pull you back by the hips and take everything you have to give him when you finally cum, making a mess of his face. His hold on you never lets go. Hell give your thighs a few kisses before diving back in. it's the least he can do, since he's so comfy.

Neji

Very focused on your pleasure. Like you on your back so he can look up and see you easier. Eye contact feels like a thing with him. While he's between your thighs and licks up your pussy and flicks your clit. Like to kind of experiment in a way of trying new moves or something he thinks you might like and seeing your reaction, reading your body. If you do, adds it to the list of things to make your pleasure even better. 

Likes when your fingers play with his hair and urges him closer, he happily obliges your needs. 

“Need me to make you feel good here? Don’t worry, I'll take care of you.”

When you cum he makes sure to help you ride through the high. He rubs your thighs and kisses your pussy softly as you come down. Loves how sensitive your body is after and can't wait too long before he's sliding his tongue back through your silky folds.

i hope y"all liked it!

[discordantdream]

Back in the early 2000s I was at one of my giant family reunions, with my husband I'd met online. Everyone was up in arms over my great aunt (in her late 70s at the time) who had brought her own Internet beau. A lovely divorced gentleman in his 80s who was finally bringing her joy. They were each other's first real loves and you could just see it in their eyes every time they looked at each other. But small town dipshit family were outraged that she met someone (gasp) online (gasp) at her age (gasp).

What I took from that? 1) my family sucks (they also treated my husband like shit and ignored him) and 2) it's never too damn late for love and happiness.

There's no age limit on finding and chasing dreams, on trying new things, on taking chances, on finding yourself.

My 40s are my best decade yet and I can't wait for my 50s to see what they bring.

reminder that 30 isn’t old, it’s very normal to not accomplish everything in your 20s, and that it is never too late to learn that thing you’ve always wanted to learn. you’re always growing. that’s a good thing. 

[etherealmelodys]

Choi Su-Bong/ Thanos

NSFW Alphabet

Warning: Talks of oral, penetrative sex, squirting, dacryphilia, mentions of drugs, Thanos just being himself.

A/N: ong I'm sick of ppl writing Thanos like he's abusive, my purple haired king would never!! But tbh he's lucky he ain't real or I'd suck the skin right off his dick ykwim

A - Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Contrary to popular belief, I don't think he'd be that bad at aftercare. He's not amazing at it don't get me wrong, but he's not gonna just leave you alone with nothing. He definitely might offer you some sort of drug he's got on his roster, but I believe he'd clean you up and make sure that you're feeling okay and get confirmation that he wasn't too rough with you.

B - Body Part (Their favorite body part on you and themselves)

Nobody can tell me that this man isn't obsessed with his tongue oml. To him, it's a gift from the gods that he gets to use it to taste every part of you. From your soft lips to your breasts, all the way down to your cunt. He's an ass man oh my. He loves the way it jiggles when he fucks you from behind, how soft and smooth it is when he grips it while you ride him.

C - Cum (Anything to do with cum)

You cannot tell me this man doesn't love cumming all over your back or ass. He's obsessed with the way it slides down the curve of your ass, coating his thighs in the substance. He adores how messy the whole process is, wanting to see you covered in just him, it could get him higher than any drug he's tried.

D - Dirty Secret ( Self-explanatory)

He just wants one night where he can do whatever he wants to your tits. Whether it be playing with your nipples, leaving hickeys on them, massaging them, or more importantly squishing them together and fucking them, his tip going between your plump lips every time he thrusts up into them.

E - Experience (How experienced are they?)

Did y'all see all the people that swarmed him once they knew who he was? Imagine what it was like outside the games. He is well-experienced when it comes to fucking someone, but not having an intimate moment with another person.

F - Favorite Position (What positions do they like the most?)

He loves any position that puts him in a position of control. He loves reverse cowgirl especially because it gives him full access to the sight of your ass. He's also a fan of doggy style, again due to the sight he gets of your ass but also because of how deep he can get in that position.

G - Goofy (How serious are they in the moment? Do they tease you?)

He is teasing the shit outta you I'm so sorry. I don't think he has the capability not to tease you. It just gets him so worked up seeing your eyes well up with tears at his comments, it just makes his cock throb.

H - Hair (What’s the hair situation down there)

I honestly cannot decide with him. For one he gives off the vibes that he's bald down there, finding the hair to be an annoyance. But also I don't think he'd care enough about it to shave it and just let it grow. For the sake of the argument, I'm just gonna say he shaves his shit bald.

I - intimacy (How romantic are they in the moment?)

I feel like there are some times when he can be very romantic if you need it. Usually, he's the type to go rough and fast. But occasionally he can be slow and sensual, giving you gentle kisses and touches, treating you as if you were the most delicate thing he's ever handled.

J - Jack Off (How often do they touch themselves?)

He jacks off very frequently, about every other day tbh. I don't think he'd do it to porn often, and if he did it would be to an actor who looks like you. But most of the time he does it to the memory of you, whether it be you grinding down on his face making those pretty noises he loves so much, or him fucking into you, your whines the only thing he can hear besides the slapping of your skin against his.

K - Kinks (What are their kinks?)

You cannot tell me this man isn't into Exhibitionism. He loves the idea of you guys almost getting caught in the middle of the act, he swears he feels himself get even harder at the sight of you trying to quiet yourself down in an attempt to not get caught. He's also into dacryphilia, seeing you cry from the overwhelming amount of pleasure he's causing you makes him cum right on the spot.

L - Location (Where do they prefer to have sex?)

He would be into anything public, bathroom stalls, fingering you under a table, having you bounce on his dick in a dark crowded club, he's into it all.

M - Motivation (What turns them on?)

Seeing you in any type of revealing clothing, especially skirts, immediately gets him hard. Seeing you in lingerie is by far the sexiest thing you could wear in front of him. He'd want you to keep it on as he bends you over, pulling the lingerie to the side and eating you out to his heart's content.

N - No (What are some things they’ll never do?)

He's not really into the whole submissive role, he always wants to be the one in charge, at least during any sexual interaction. He's also not into doing anything that can seriously harm you.

O - Oral (How do they feel about oral? Do they prefer giving or receiving?)

I don't think he has a preference between the two. He loves the sight of you on your knees, trying to fit his cock in your mouth, tears in the corner of your eyes due to the brutal pace he's set fucking your face. But he also adores the feeling of your thighs wrapped around his head, unintentionally pulling him closer to your cunt. The feeling of it pulsing around his tongue when he finally makes you cum, the little whines and moans you let out from the overstimulation.

P - Pace (How fast/slow are they?)

He's fast with his pace, he swears he can't help himself. The feeling of your tight walls wrapped around his cock, practically begging him to pound you into the mattress with all the force he can muster. It's your fault for feeling so damm good.

Q - Quickie (How do they feel about quickies?)

He loves them so much! He's usually busy writing his songs or in the studio recording, so quickies are always a yes for him.

R - Risk (How willing are they to experiment? Do they take any risks?)

He loves experimenting, but he's usually the one to initiate it due to his impulsive behavior. If it’s something you're not willing to try he'd absolutely respect that. But if you brought something up? Oh baby he's down to do whatever as long as it doesn't put either of you in danger. Wanna try out bondage? Go ahead and get comfortable because you'll be tied up for a while.

S - Stamina (How many rounds can they do? How long can they go for?)

When he's not high out of his mind, he doesn't go that many rounds usually 2 will be enough to get him tired. But when he's off some? Ooh boy you better prepare yourself. This man is a beast when he pops a pill, you'll be so exhausted by the time he's finished. Expect around 4-5 rounds with him before he's all out of energy.

T - Toys (Do they have any toys? Are they willing to use any?)

I don't think he has that many to be frank, at most he has a vibrator or two, maybe a cock ring if you wanna be bold. I think he's so cocky and confident about his skills that he finds them to be unnecessary. Sometimes if you're having trouble cumming he’ll take one out and use it on you, but it always gets out of hand due to the fact that he wants to see you squirt from the toy. “Cmon baby, I know you can do it. Don't you wanna make me happy? I know it'll feel so good for you so just relax and squirt all over this toy”

U - Unfair (Do they tease you? How unfair are they in the bedroom?)

I fear this man is the biggest teaser throughout the whole show. He'd find a way to tease you about anything and everything. In the bedroom you are not getting a MOMENT of peace. This man will edge you and overstimulate you all in the same night. He’ll find a way to tease you about the noises you make, saying “Aww baby, you're being so loud! Am I making you feel that good? Don't be shy, you can admit that I'm the best at making you cum.”

V - Volume (How loud are they?)

He's not too loud when it comes to his noises, just occasional growl and grunt. He's definitely into dirty talk though, a lot of it. You'll hear him say stuff like “That's my good bitch, taking my cock up her cunt like the good girl she is. Don't worry baby, I'm gonna make you feel so good you won't know what to do with yourself.”

W - Weird Fact (Self-explanatory)

He's always wanted someone to do a line of coke off his cock while he was hard.

X - X Ray (What’s it looking like in those pants.)

He's about 5’11, a little on the thinner side, but he's still toned. I think he's a lot girthier than he is long, so about 5.7 inches, but his girth makes up for it. His tip color is a deeper pink color, around #E0676B. He has a slight curve down, with a thick vein running down the left side of his shaft.

Y - Yearning (How high is their sex drive? How often do they have sex?)

This man wants to do it with you every day. Not only is it the drugs that get him worked up, but just seeing you looking so damn sexy just being yourself, he could take you anytime anywhere, regardless of who's around.

Z - Zzz (How fast do they fall asleep after sex?)

I feel like he falls asleep very fast. After he's done making sure you're okay, he's slumped. He is not the type to wait for you to sleep first before he does.

(I've cooked with this one guys I cannot even lie. Thank you all sm for the recent support! I truly appreciate all the attention my work has gotten!)

Taglist:

@xera4170

[twopoppies]

Gina, I want to tell you I have been reading your blog for a couple years now. I’ve never sent an ask to anyone. I first came into the fandom when I watched Harrychella and I thought hmm this man isn’t just flagging he is screaming at the top of his lungs. Then I watched the Cosmic Leeds videos and I fell down a rabbit hole. I am not someone who believes “conspiracy theories”. I am however old enough to know closeting has been proven to exist in the entertainment industry. I’m also from a rural area of the U.S. where homophobia is the norm, so unfortunately I had no trouble believing closeting still exists. I went into full information gathering mode about Larry Stylinson, but it was more than that too. I fell in love with 1D and all the boys’ solo work, especially Louis. I loved his voice, his songwriting, and his ‘real’ personality (when he allowed it to shine through all the media training). I read through every tumblr I could, you and Daisie provided a wealth of information that can not be ignored. I feel certain that Larry was real and I hope they are still together. I’m not one of those people who never doubted. It would be hard not to second guess things in this fandom with all the gaslighting that goes on. I write all of this to say that I’ve never felt so sad and like there is no hope for change as I do right now. It feels like Louis’ fandom is falling apart. There is so much division, hate, and intolerance of any idea that doesn’t conform to someone’s own. Louis pr strategy honestly baffles me. A divided fandom is so tiring. It seems less like pr and more like intentional sabatoge, which I guess it could be. I just don’t see any way out for him or Harry. I think Harry’s extended break is partly because of this too. I think he was overworked and emotionally drained for many reasons, but closeting most of all is exhausting. If I’m feeling this way as a fan I can’t imagine how they must be feeling. It breaks my heart. Sometimes I hope I am crazy and Larry was never real because the story is just too sad. Don’t even get me started on bbg because it is the shittiest situation ever. I think I need to take a step back from the fandom for a bit. But this brings me to my point. I’m pretty resilient, I can not be the only person feeling this way. It makes me so worried for Louis’ career and for both Louis and Harry’s mental health. I guess I don’t really have an ask. I just wanted to say thank you for all the information you have provided over the years. And, I needed to get this off my chest. If I posted this on twitter I would be roasted and I’m not strong enough for that right now. I meant it when I said I fell in love with their music, so I will continue to support all the boys. I’m hoping there is a master plan that will eventually set them free. But, I just keep coming back to the line

‘Said I had a plan for us Time had came and changed it all We had to disappear 'Cause nothing gets through here’

I will add one more thing. I believe there are more Larries than people think, but we are tired of the gaslighting and the hate, so many of us step back or hide. This is why the industry wins most of the time. 😥

Hi, sweetheart. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I'm sorry it feels so overwhelming right now. I do think taking a step back is probably really healthy for most of us. I've actually never seen the fandom in such shambles.

I don't know what Louis' plan is in terms of his fandom or his future plans. But I have dozens and dozens of sad, confused, and angry messages in my inbox, and that fucking sucks. I really don't see a way forward at the moment. I will say, though, that some of the upset stems from some people's tendency to lean into worst-case scenarios and amplify their own worries by jumping to conclusions. Then there are the shit-stirrers who try to make things worse by sending in fake receipts or theories. It's hard to stay grounded when there's insanity whirling around you.

As for Harry and Louis, I do tend to believe they're still together. I don't think their relationship has been as easy as many of us would like to believe – I don't think it could be, given their ages when they met and the conditions they've had to live with. I do think they're soulmates... soulmates don't always end up together, but I tend to think these two will make it. I certainly hope they do.

Our fandom never does well when the boys aren't active. I think if you want to get your sanity back, now is as good a time as any.

[skiagraphe0]

My Aunt Judy is a (cis) lesbian who fluctuates between high femme and very masculine presentation. Her wife, Rachel, is a trans woman who loves makeup but otherwise dresses like a tomboy. She'll wear flannels, jeans, mean's shirts, t-shirts, hiking boots, old work boots, etc. because she loves them. They're natural to her. Some days Judy dresses like Rachel does. Some days Rachel does makeup like Judy does. They're both women.

Women don't have to pick a singular way to be a woman. You can be multitudes of things. You can be one thing. You can be a mix of tomboy and femme, or pure tomboy, or anything else you want. You're you. Of course you don't look identical to someone else - you're not them.

There is no wrong way to be a woman. I see a big push online not to shame super feminine girls, and that's good. We also need to not shame women who feel most like themselves not being high femme. We need to not shame women who only like eyeliner, or who only like jewelry but otherwise prefer a masc-leaning presentation, or who otherwise don't fit into conventional ideas of what a woman 'should' be.

I know I'm a trans man but I still feel my heart break for people like OP. Because I know how must it sucks to have everyone tell you, "There's one correct way to be a gender" and feel like you're failing at it. I know how exhausting it is to try to explain again and again that you're just being yourself. And it's awful to see it being done to trans women, because it's just so unfair. No one gives my Aunt Judy this treatment for dressing more masc than OP some days, just due to her being cis.

These double standards are ruining people's joy and I hate that. Why can't we just let women live their lives without scrutiny?

A woman is a woman, regardless of her physical appearance.

Last night I sat down to write the text post to accompany this comic, but I began spiraling. There were so many things that I wanted to say that before I was even halfway through it was already three pages long.

I’m just going to truncate my thoughts.

It wasn’t the questions that bothered me, it was that I wasn’t believed.

It was that they doubled down and told me that I was “repressed”.

It was that me saying their words hurt me was apparently the wrong thing to say, and I was attacked for doing so.

It was that they told me they didn’t mean to hurt me when I knew that and already said so in my initial text to them.

It was that they told me that they were “going out of their way” for me.

One – trans tomboys exist and just because I might not want the same things you do, that doesn’t mean that my experience is invalid.

Two – I am not your charity case trans person that you need to “go out of your way” for.

Three – I thought I was your friend. In my mind, when you help a friend you’re not “going out of your way”, you help because you genuinely want to and don’t even think about whether or not it’s an inconvenience.

Four – no matter what, I still consider you a friend and though I need some time, I hope some day we can share our journeys with each other again.

#trans#transgender#gender#genderqueer#queer#LGBT#LGBTQ#HRT#comics#webcomics#ImStillAlex#hormonereplacementtherapy

[osohchoso]

Blood and Chains

Chapter 5- Is There Someone Else?

Choso x F!reader

Previous | Chapter Index | Chapter 6 coming soon!

Content: fluff, date night, keeping secrets, reader has trust issues, small mention of blood, suggestive content MDNI

Every detail of that night remains burned into your brain. The way he looked at you, the way he smelled, the way he tasted. It was a night you will never forget for years to come. The day you were finally able to start calling him your boyfriend. 

That night, he slept in the bed next to you, instead of curled up on the couch all alone. You changed into your favorite pair of pjs for him, a silky pink set consisting of shorts and a cropped cami top. When he saw you in it, you swear he almost fainted. So used to seeing you in just casual or comfy clothes, never something as revealing as this. Though, part of you hoped that they will be on the floor by the end of the night. 

He joined you under the sheets a moment later, wearing only a pair of deep purple pajama pants. Your eyes roamed over his shirtless body, finally able to take in his muscular form. Large pecs and sculpted abs, he resembled a Greecian statue. Slipping in under the covers, you instantly wrapped your arms around his body. Hands feeling the hard muscles underneath his scar lined skin. Fingertips tracing lines that follow the shape of the rough marks, a story of hardships etched into him, his body tensing with each touch.

He tilted your chin up to look at him, lips parted as he gazed deeply into your eyes. Within the next second, his lips are pressed against yours. Tasting your own cherry chapstick off his soft lips. Your teeth gently graze his bottom lip, sucking lightly. A small moan escapes him and he returns the favor. Strong hand gripping the hair at the back of your head, tilting your jaw up toward the ceiling. He leaves feather light kisses down your neck, stopping at your collar bone to leave a soft bite. Heat pools to your core, your hand sliding down his stomach toward the waistband of his pants. 

Before your hand reaches the edge of his clothing, his free hand grabs your wrist to stop you. Holding your hand gently in the palm of his own while looking into your eyes. His breath coming out in quick pants, heart pounding out of his chest.

“How about…we just cuddle for the night?” He speaks gently, offering a soft smile. The hand behind your head moves to sweep a strand of hair from your face, now unable to hide behind it during your embarrassment of being caught. His other hand releases your hand he was clutching, and you retract it to yourself.

“Sorry…I was just caught up in the moment I guess.” you blush and look away, slightly ashamed. It has been a while since you have been intimate with anyone. You started to get a bit excited to have someone who looks the way he does, your now boyfriend, in your bed. He cups your cheek, rubbing his rough thumb over your soft skin.

“You have no reason to apologize, because if I’m honest I want that too…but I also don't want to rush things with you.” he brings his nose to yours, nuzzling against you. “And waiting will make it so much sweeter” he whispers low. Your face heats immediately underneath your skin and a low rumble of laughter vibrates in his throat. You set your burning head down against his chest, the fire on your cheeks seeping into his skin. The steady beat of his heart pumping against your ear as it lulls you to sleep. 

That was the best sleep of your life you decided the next morning. Choso really is like a big cuddly teddy bear, wrapping his arms around you the whole night. Enveloping you in his warmth. You wanted to spend the whole next morning in bed, bodies pressed against each other, but reality had other plans. 

Buzz buzz! Choso’s phone rings, he picks it up and frowns at the incoming call.

“Sorry this is work, I need to take this.” He gets out of bed and walks to the other room, shutting the door behind him. You can hear him speaking sternly in the other room, his voice just barely low enough that you can't decipher the words he's saying. A few minutes later he returns, wearing an expression of annoyance.

“I'm sorry… I'm needed at work” he leans down to kiss your forehead. “I'll call you later okay?” 

“Okay” you smile, trying to hide the disappointment of his abrupt departure. You were hoping to be able to enjoy a relaxing Saturday morning with him. Making him a cup of coffee, cooking breakfast together, watching some TV in your pjs. Something so simple and domestic yet it sounded perfect. He easily saw right through the fake happy mask you wore to hide your true feelings. Reaching down, he grabs your hand and lifts it up close to his lips, planting a soft kiss to the back of your hand.

“I promise. I'll call you as soon as I'm done working” he whispers against your skin, thumb skimming lightly over your knuckles. With that, he gathers his things and leaves. He kept his promise too, the second he got home he called you right away, asking all about your day.

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A few more weeks pass by, and Choso's girlfriend comes so naturally. Texting all day long, calling each other at the end of the night until you both pass out on the line. He visits you more often now too, spending the night holding you to him as his little spoon each time. You started buying extra toiletries for when he visits and he leaves spare clothing and other items around the apartment, a constant reminder of his presence. Still, you haven't gotten intimate together yet. The mystery of what lies beneath each other's clothing testing both of you. While waiting is a tease, you still don't mind. Knowing the anticipation is just going to make your first time together so much more special.

You enjoy every second with him, despite the rules he put in place. Choso had insisted on two major rules at the start of this relationship. He wanted to keep you a secret, insisting it was for your own safety. You were skeptical, feeling like maybe he was ashamed to be seen with you in public, but you agreed still. Deciding to put all your faith in him.

The first rule was not to tell anyone about your relationship. This killed you, because you wanted everyone to know. You wanted to take pictures together to post on your socials, to tell your friends, to shout it from the rooftop. The other rule is not to be seen in public together. Another let down as you were excited to go out on a real date with him, and not be stuck in your apartment watching movies every time. He doesn't even invite you over to his own apartment, always just coming to visit yours. He claims he put these rules in place for your own safety, and reminds you of it every time you complain about it. This is kind of annoying, but you hope that in time, things will change. 

Choso, however, has broken both of his own rules. How could he keep such a big secret from his little brother? Yuji would have started to suspect it sooner or later anyways with how often his brother was absent from his own home, and Choso didn't want to have to make excuses. So he decided to tell him the truth immediately, making Yuji swear on his LIFE to keep it a secret. Choso also couldn't resist visiting the café you work at. Coming in, he pretends to be just a casual acquaintance to any watching eyes. Part of you thinks he really is only coming to satisfy his caffeine addiction. Though the longing looks and the purposeful brush of his fingers against yours tells you otherwise. 

Sunday morning, you enter the café bright and early for an opening shift. It was hard for you to leave the bed, Choso still peacefully asleep next to you. You practically had to pry his arms off your waist as he held you in his sleep. Part of you really debated on calling in today, just jumping back in bed and dozing off again. But you didn't, the fact that you were the only one working the opening shift, that no one would be available until noon, swayed your thoughts. Moving slowly, you change into your work uniform, fixing your bedhead and applying some light makeup so you look somewhat alive this early. Glancing at Choso every so often, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest, his fingers twitching from your absence. Before leaving you planted a few quick kisses to his forehead, he hums softly in response.

Once the café opened for the day, you were immediately hit with a rush of people. Many the same age as you, looking like they are hungover and seen better days. You laughed to yourself remembering the last time you and your friends went out drinking. You and Emi trying to support the weight of Suki as she stumbles out of the club. It was a miracle you all made it home still in your heels considering how much the three of you drank. That was before you met Choso, you haven't seen them much after meeting him. Rescheduling your plans with them to give yourself more time with him and his busy life whenever you can. You make a mental note to plan a night with your girls soon.

After the rush passes, you brew yourself a cup of coffee. You will need the energy to keep going the rest of the day. You pull your phone out to check for any messages from Choso, wondering if he's still in bed or if he will be there waiting at the end of your work day. The front door swings open and you quickly push your phone back in the pocket of your apron. 

“Welcome in!” You say cheerfully, eyes closed shut as you wear a big smile. When you open your eyes you spy a familiar pink haired boy. A wide grin on his face as he stands in front of the counter, wearing that navy blue uniform with the golden buttons, a red hood sticking out from underneath. 

“Hey Y/N” he continues to smile, waving excitedly.

“Yuji!?” you ask in disbelief, Choso has shown you enough pictures of his little brother that you recognize him immediately. You pinch yourself, thinking the caffeine rushed to your head and created a hallucination. What is he doing here? He leans on the counter, elbows resting on the wood, hands propping his head up as he looks at you.

“So you're the one who stole my brother's heart” he laughs warmly. “I'm glad…he's been needing someone, and from what he's said you're very kind. He needs someone like you.” 

“Thanks” You twirl a loose string of your apron as he showers you with compliments. “Still…why are you here Yuji?”

“Oooh I was just stopping by between jobs, and thought I should meet my big bro's girlfriend for myself” he smirks. “Plus he says this place has the best coffee”

“You're not wrong…I'll make you something” you tell him. As you brew him a latte, extra sweet like he asked, you wonder how much Choso has told his brother about you. Clearly, he's not following his own rules but expects you to. He tells his brother everything about but you can't even tell your friends you're no longer single. He visits you at work yet you can't even come to his apartment. It's a double standard and it's starting to bother you more than you want to admit. You set the coffee down in front of Yuji, brows still furrowed in thought.

“You okay?” he asks, taking a sip of the hot drink.

“Yeah, I'm fine” you do your best to soften your expression, trying to wear a disguise that hides your fears, trying to convince yourself that everything is ok. Yuji raises an eyebrow, clearly not buying it. Just as perceptive as his big brother, easily seeing right through you.

“You can tell me. I know we have only just officially met…but I already know so much from all of Choso's yapping. I feel like I've known you my whole life.” Yuji giggles, you can't help but join in.

“I could say the same. I know almost everything there is about you thanks to him.”

“My brother gets like that when he really cares for someone.” Yuji smiles, stirring the coffee. “Come on, tell me what's wrong.”

“Okay…” you take a deep breath, gathering the thoughts before you voice your concerns. “I guess, I just don't like hiding our relationship. It makes me feel like he's hiding something from me.” You frown as you speak these words out loud for the first time. You want to trust him, but your past makes you over analyze every little thing. “I just worry about how he really feels about me” Yuji's usually cheerful face turns serious.

“I promise you, Choso really cares for you. He does. You have to be one of the most important people in his life, probably even surpassed me at this point.” He flashes a smirk at you before continuing. “Choso can be…overprotective. That's just how he is, trust me. The first year I lived with him he acted like a helicopter parent, never letting me do anything on my own. So he's just taking precautions for what he feels is best to keep you safe, even if it comes off as overbearing and sneaky.” 

“His last relationship ended horribly, I don't know what he's told you about her. It’s not my place to say, but I think he will open up when he's ready. I think he's really scared of messing things up or getting hurt again.” Yuji continues, a glimmer of sadness in his eyes as he thinks back on his brother’s heartbreak. “It was really rough on him, I never want to see him go through that again. He’s always trying to be the big, capable older brother for me…but sometimes I need to take care of him too. Promise me you'll treat him right?” Yuji looks at you with big pleading eyes. You reach out and grab one of his hands, looking into his golden-brown irises.

“I promise Yuji! I would never ever dream of hurting Choso.” You intend to keep every word of this promise. You release Yuji's hand. “I just wish we could have a normal relationship. I want to walk in the park with him, go out for drinks with my friends. I don't like being a secret” You frown as you imagine the normal relationship you dream of.

“I'll talk to him. I think he's acting a little excessively. He might listen to me if I try to reason with him.” Yuji finishes his drink and hands the empty mug back to you. 

“See you around” he waves as he exits the cafe.

“Bye Yuji, take care” you call after him.

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The next few days come and go, you haven't seen Choso once since Sunday morning before you left for work. He was called into a job before you could make it back to your apartment. Since then, your work schedules haven't been lining up to see each other. The time you did have off of your job was spent working on the final project for this semester and studying for exams. Instead, you have to settle for long late-night chats with your boyfriend at the end of each day. Still, you missed his physical presence.

It's odd for you to have a Thursday evening off, all you had was morning classes and it was the last day of the semester at that. Now you're off of school until the coming fall. It's even more rare for you to have work off the following day. Though you have no complaints, you settle down into your couch and prepare to start reading the book Choso bought for you a week ago. A vampire romance novel, he thought you might like it because of how much you like Twilight. 

Before you can even open the book, you pull your phone out and think about inviting Choso over. Hoping that by chance he would have some free time tonight too. You prepare to type a message, but you receive one from him before you can even hit send.

Choso: Hey little flower, what are you doing?

You can't control your smile. He started calling you that cute pet name the day you two became official. You're not sure how he came up with it, but each time it never fails to brighten your day.

You: Nothing actually, I'm off today and tomorrow.

Choso: Perfect, I'm almost there!

You stop suddenly. He's on his way?? A surprise visit is so unexpected from him.

You: What would you have done if I said I wasn't home??

Choso: Be sad :/

Choso: I'm coming with a surprise!

Your head buzzes in excitement for what he could be surprising you with. Quickly, you rush to the bedroom to change out of your lazy day sweats and into something nicer. Pulling out a flowy maroon dress that is both cute and casual. You say a silent thank you for the fact you decided to shave yesterday, legs looking smooth and flawless. Glancing in the mirror, you make a few touch ups to your hair and makeup. As you stand back to admire yourself, you hear a key turn in the front door. It startles you at first but then you remember giving Choso his own key to lock up when you leave for work while he's fast asleep.

You bounce down the hallway, excited to see him. He stands by the kitchen table, wearing tan pants and a black button up shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbow and the top few buttons undone, showing a peek of his bare chest underneath. His hair styled loosely, free from the pigtails today. Having his hair down is one of your weaknesses and he knows it. Seeing him like he is now takes your breath away. Completely lost for words.

“You look beautiful” he smirks as he takes in your appearance. He walks forward, holding a bouquet of deep red roses. “Some flowers for my little flower” he leans down to kiss your cheek and thrusts the bouquet into your arms.

���Cho…you're so thoughtful. And, wow…you look amazing.” Your cheeks flush slightly as turn your head toward the roses, briefly pressing your nose into them and breathing in the aroma. “What are you doing here anyway?” you ask as you move to retrieve a vase from under the kitchen sink, filling it up with water. 

“Well, tomorrow is our one-month anniversary, you know.” You giggle at his explanation, not expecting him to want to celebrate something as small as one month. “And I was off work tonight and tomorrow, I couldn't wait to come see you. I just had to surprise you.” His eyes crinkle up in a genuine smile, one you love to see him wear.

“Are you taking me out!?” you blurt out excited as you place the roses into the vase. His smile falters slightly.

“No. Not out. Yuji has been trying to convince me to stop worrying so much but I don't want you to become a target. It's not safe, please believe me.” 

“I believe you Choso” you sigh as you rearrange the roses inside the vase. He moves to stand right behind you, his hard chest pressed against your back. His breath tickles your ear as he exhales.

“But I still wanted to treat you to a date night. I want to show you how special you are to me.” His fingers gently move the hair away from your shoulder, his other hand holding you tightly around the waist. He lowers his face to meet the bare skin of your neck, inhaling your scent. Lips begin peppering your soft skin in kisses, eliciting a soft gasp from your mouth. He moves from your shoulder, up your neck and finally your ear. “I missed you so much” he whispers before nibbling your earlobe. 

“I missed you too” you turn your head to look at him. He smiles, satisfied with your response to his touch. He releases you from his grip and backs up, leaning against the kitchen table.

“I thought we could cook dinner together. No ordering out, no movie. Just a nice dinner, you and me.” you glance over to the counter and notice a couple paper bags marked with the logo of a local grocery store.

“That sounds great, Choso. What are we making?”

“I thought maybe we could make a salad and some pasta” he moves over to the bags on the counter. “Are you hungry?” He asks you. Your stomach growls in response.

“Yes…I am” you admit with a laugh. “Are you a good chef, Cho?” you ask.

“I like to think I am. I'll let you decide after tasting my cooking.” He walks over to your cupboard and starts rummaging through, looking for the utensils he needs. He found a large pot and began to fill it with water. “I only recently started cooking when I moved in with Yuji. He showed me that there is so much more to food than just nourishing your body. There are so many different tastes to explore. The first year we lived together I swear I gained 20 extra pounds” he laughs.

“I'm not a very good cook” you admit as you watch him place the pot on the stove burner. “I'm better at baking.” He smiles and pats you on the top of the head with his large hand, messing your hair up slightly.

“That's okay, you can help with an easy task. How about the salad?” He hands you one of the paper bags. You peer inside and notice different ingredients to create a Caesar salad. “And maybe later you can whip us up a sweet treat. Or maybe I'll just have you for dessert” he pokes your nose with a smirk on his face before turning back to the pot to add the dry linguine noodles to the boiling water.

“Damn tease” you mumble, rubbing your nose where his finger touched. You move to the counter next to the stove and start adding the lettuce and croutons to a wooden salad bowl. All that's left, besides the dressing, is to add the cheese. You pull out a cheese grater and begin to shred a block of parmesan into the bowl. You glance over at Choso and watch as he starts to work on making a sauce in a smaller pot. No store bought from a jar sauce, no, he is making it from scratch. Using a mix of various ingredients, like fresh cream and cheese. The smell is absolutely divine. You admire watching him, his insane focus on the concoction, how his arm muscles bulge as he stirs the wooden spoon around.

“Fuck!” You shout suddenly. In your distracted state, your hand slipped, slicing the side of your index finger across the cheese grater. 

“What's wrong!” he drops the spoon immediately, letting it fall on the floor with a loud plop! Creamy sauce splattering everywhere. Panic spreads across his face as he searches yours.

“It's nothing, just cut myself a little.” your thumb on the opposite hand holds the cut, applying pressure. His concern doesn't subside. He lifts you up onto the only free counter space left, having you sit on it with your legs dangling off.

“Let me see” he holds his hand out. You show him your finger, a few fresh beads of blood forming the second your thumb releases the pressure. “It's not bad,” he admits. Moving to the sink, he grabs a few squares of paper towel, wetting it under the faucet. He gently cleans the cut, using light touches to not irritate the skin further. Then he finds the band aids you keep under the sink, wrapping one around your finger. 

“My precious little flower, you need to be careful.” he whispers, bringing your hand up close to his mouth so he can apply a kiss on top of the bandaged finger. He moves back to clean up the mess from when he dropped the spoon. You go to jump off the counter to return to making the salad but puts his hands up to stop you. “Nope. No more sharp objects for you. Just sit there and look pretty for me alright” he smirks.

“Aww but I still want to help” you pout, he shakes his head. 

“Sorry, cooking is now off limits for you, my clumsy girl. Just sit back and watch me” he throws away the paper towels and retrieves a new spoon from the drawer. You watch him as he goes bad stirring the pot. Spooning out a small amount and lifting it to his mouth, tasting the mixture. His pink tongue darts out to lick some of the cream off his lips, his throat bobbing as he swallows. He lets out a hum of contentment.

He scoops another spoonful, this time moving to stand in front of you on the counter. His body positioned between your legs, the spoon hoovering before your lips. 

“Want to try?” He asks. You nod, opening your mouth for him as he moves the spoon closer. You wrap your lips around it, holding eye contact with him as you taste it. It tastes absolutely delicious. Rich and creamy, layers of cheese, a hint of something spicy. 

“Wow Cho! This is...amazing!” You watch as his face lights up at your praise. 

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Dinner was phenomenal. Never have you had such a good meal in your life, and never would you have guessed Choso was that good of a chef. You definitely want him to cook for you more often, especially if you get to play the part of princess on the counter, not having to lift a finger as you watch. Though, since he did all the cooking, you decided to do all the cleaning. There wasn't a ton of a mess to clean up anyways, just a couple dishes used to create the meal.

While you were in the kitchen cleaning up, Choso excused himself to the bedroom. He promised to return momentarily but he was taking a suspiciously long time. You finish drying the last plate and place it back into the cupboard. As you do, you hear Choso calling your name from the bedroom. You follow the sound of his voice and see him sitting on your bed. The lights in the room off, but several candles are lit and scattered around, setting the mood. Giving the area an aura of romance. 

To your disappointment, Choso had changed out of his outfit from earlier. No longer is he wearing those form fitting pants and open buttoned shirt, trading it for something new entirely. But much to your delight, he sits on the bed completely shirtless, his well sculpted muscles on full display. On his legs, he wears dark gray shorts with a dangerously short inseam. The contour of the muscles in his thighs catch your attention, and it takes all your strength to not run up and cover his quads in bites. 

“Choso...” your breath catches in your throat slightly, eyes scanning the setup of the room. He smirks at you confidently as he rises from the edge of the bed. “What's going on?” You ask, a slight heat gracing your cheeks as you imagine what he might want to spend the rest of the night doing.

“I have another surprise for you” he walks toward you, holding a hand out and motioning for yours. You place your hand into his palm and he wraps his fingers around it. He leads you over to the bed. “I thought it would be nice to give you a massage tonight.” He continues. “I know your classes have been stressing you out lately and I haven't really been around to help you. I want to do something special for you tonight.” You sit down on the edge of the bed, Choso bending down to rest his forehead against yours. 

“You're so sweet Cho” you reach a hand up to twirl a strand of his hair.

“Anything for you” he leans in further, face close to your neck. His lips brush gently on your exposed collar bone, leaving a few light kisses there before he moves up to meet your lips. You kiss him back, matching his passion, getting lost in the moment before he stands tall in front of you. “Now lay down and get comfortable” he smirks while cracking his knuckles. 

You lay back and turn over, situating yourself on your stomach. The bed creaks as Choso positions himself over you, his knees resting on either side of your upper thighs. Reaching forward, his index finger hooks one of your dress straps around your shoulder.

“It will be easier if you slip this off. You don't even need to take it off fully, just so I have access to your back.” He whispers. You realize he is right, and slip your dress down your body until it looks nothing more than a skirt clinging around your waist. “Much better” he whispers. You feel his weight shift as he settles on the back of your thighs.

His hands move to your shoulders, brushing your bra straps down your arms to give him better access to where he needs to focus. His fingers move slowly and methodically, making circles into the muscles. Your shoulders have been tight lately, with you hunched over your desk working on your final project for one class or studying on your laptop with another. As his fingertips dig into your skin you can practically feel the tension melting away along with all the stress from the previous semester.

“That feels great Cho” You hum, a sigh of contentment escaping you. He briefly moves up your neck, carefully not to apply too much pressure to this sensitive spot. Then his large hands travel down your upper back, smooth rhythmic strokes to ease your pain. Choso is paying attention to how your body responds under every touch, adjusting his technique as necessary to make this the most relaxing experience possible. No one has ever treated you with this much care, this much attention. Hell, no one has ever even offered to massage you like this before. His fingers trace around the edge of your bra, poking the clasp at your back.

“Can I?” he asks hesitantly.

“Yes” you reply, barely a whisper. 

He unhooks the bra effortlessly, your back bare before him. Returning to his role as massage therapist, he works up and down your back. Applying varying depths and pressure, making sure to hit every screaming muscle you have. He's relaxing you so much that you are on the brink of sleep, eyes closed but fighting mentally to stay conscious. The soothing smell of lavender and vanilla radiating from the candles. In this state of bliss, you completely lose track of how much time has passed. It could have been 10 minutes or 2 hours, there was no way to tell.

Just as you are about to drift away to a quiet dream, you snap back to reality. Choso's fingers now replaced with his lips as he leaves your back covered in tender kisses. You shiver beneath him. His fingers dig into your exposed hip as he kisses up your spine toward your neck. Leaving a hot trail where his lips touch your skin. 

“God…you drive me wild” he growls into your ear. You can feel his arousal growing, resting firmly against your ass. Burning heat radiating from his clothes through yours. Heat that your body mirrors in response, instinctually craving him just as he does you. 

“Choso…I want you..” you murmur softly. His body seems to move on it's own, holding your hips against his as he grinds slowly against you. A tantalizing rhythm that makes you want more, need more. You flip over to face him, gazing up at him. His face immediately flushes pink at the sight of your exposed breasts, unable to tear his eyes away. You feel his hard cock throb through his shorts. Your admission was all he needed to continue.

“I need you…so bad” he whispers, your name falling off his tongue like a desperate prayer. With help from his fumbling hands, the two of you slide the rest of the dress off your body, leaving you only in a pair of black lace panties. You wrap your legs around him to pull him closer to you, his face inches above yours as he looks down with hungry dark eyes. The thick outline of his aching length twitching in the confines of his shorts as he fucks you with his eyes.

With one hand, he locks his fingers with yours holding it hostage above your head. His other leaves a trail of light touches over your waist and up to cup your breast. Thumb brushing lightly over your nipple, causing a soft moan to escape your throat.

“You're so beautiful” he breathes out onto your lips before crashing his mouth to yours. Enveloping you in a soft yet possessive kiss. Your free hand travels down his toned body, reaching the hard length restricted to his gray shorts. His teeth grasp your bottom lip with a gentle tug as you palm him through the thin clothing. Releasing your lip with a low moan, he looks down at you. Panting, eyebrows upturned, a pure picture of need and desperation. Your own breathing quickens as you reach for the waistband of his shorts, you need to feel him against your skin.

Buzz buzz!! Before you can remove his clothing, the vibrations of his phone on the nightstand rudely interrupt you. He grumbles and attempts to disentangle himself from you, releasing your hand he had held captive. Though your legs refuse to release him from your grip.

“Sweetheart” he murmurs, looking at you. “I need to check that…it could be important” he frowns.

“Choso…” you pout as you reluctantly release his waist from your thighs. He pushes himself off the bed to walk over to the phone. His eyebrows furrowed in irritation as he unlocks it to read the message. You know it can only mean one thing, his stupid boss sprung a stupid last-minute job on him. “Don't leave me tonight…not like this” you sit up on the edge, crossing your arms over your bare chest. He lets a long and frustrated sigh.

“I'm so sorry, little flower. They always do this to me, but it should just be a quick job. I promise. I'll be gone maybe an hour and a half tops.” He walks over to the overnight bag he brought, pulling out a familiar uniform with gold buttons.

“Can't you just ignore them? You were supposed to have today off” you shift on the bed, crossing your legs as you watch him change. He turns around, buttoning the last golden circle near the collar.

“No, I can't. Trust me, I wish I could, but it's not possible. I think they would kill me if I tried.” His eyebrows pressed in a tight v as he imagines the consequences. “I'll be back soon. I promise you, and then we can continue this” he smirks slightly before cupping your pouting face in his hands and planting three sweet kisses to your forehead.

“Be safe,” you whisper. 

“I will. I'll be back soon” he promises before turning to exit the room. You listen as he makes his way out of the apartment, hearing the click in the door as he locks it behind him.

You lay back on the bed with a frustrated sigh, staring up at the ceiling fan. A million questions plague your thoughts, brought on by your own mistrust through past relationships. Am I not good enough? Is he not attracted to me? Did I do something wrong? Is there someone else? You want to trust Choso, you really do. He doesn't seem the type to cheat and sneak around, but he's just so secretive sometimes that you can't help but doubt him.

It was your last relationship that ruined you, that made you like this. That completely broke your trust, stomped all over your heart. The only person you have ever been in love with. You were with him for a year, and he made you feel…special. Showering you with love and kisses, presents every time he saw you. You never suspected a thing. You fell head over heels, and thought he felt the same. Eventually you saw through the lies, the deception. He was sneaking out after sleeping with you, ghosting your dates that were planned weeks in advance, coming up with excuses like ‘work’. You tried pushing those thoughts away, telling yourself he loves me. It wasn't until you saw a message on his phone from another girl that forced you to connect the dots. While you knew it was wrong, you looked through all his messages. Seeing countless different girls and hookups, all under the impression they were his girlfriend too. That was the end, a year wasted with a piece of trash like him.

But Choso is different. He is genuine, and he's kind. He shows you his love and care both through his words and his actions. Your night wouldn't have felt this special if it was all an act. Surely his own brother wouldn't have defended him so loyally if this meant nothing. Unless he was also given misinformation. He wouldn't lie, wouldn't cheat on you. Right?

The secrets, the mysterious job he hides from you. It reopens the wound of mistrust. You refuse to fall into the darkness again, refuse to be hurt by another man. You just need one answer, one confirmation that he's as loyal as you want to believe he is. 

Before you know it, you're changed. Wearing skintight black leggings and a shirt, covering your head in a dark beanie. This is stupid, you tell yourself as you reach for the door handle to exit the apartment. Nausea bubbles in your stomach, threatening to vomit up the pasta from dinner. You slip into the shadows of the street, avoiding the dim lights from the passing buildings and the streetlamps. You wish you could make yourself go back inside and sit on the couch and wait for his return. But something needs to ease the growing seed of worry inside. Just to make sure he's not sneaking off to another girl, to confirm you're his one and only. To protect yourself.

In the distance, you can barely make out his outline, he hasn't gotten far. His hair now pulled back up in his usual pigtail fashion, bouncing around under the streetlights. Keeping your distance, you tail him. Concealing yourself to the shadows as you follow.

You wish you would have just turned back to the safety of your apartment, as this night unfolds into a nightmare. The night everything goes wrong.

dividers by @thecutestgrotto

Taglist: @lavenderdaydream97 @angel04-01

Likes, comments and reblogs greatly appreciated :) <3

[thelamentknight]

Lucian Lovelace

190 (19 in human years)

Male

Székelys

Vampire/Incubus

Pansexual

Aquarius

Hometown is Briar Valley

Twisted from Draculaura

Diasomnia

3rd Year

His Best Subject is Astrology

He’s in the Film Analysis Club

His Favorite Food is Red Velvet Cake

His Least Favorite Food is Garlic

Dislikes people assuming he’s related to Lilia Vanrouge

Hobbies include Reading Fanfic, Shopping, learning Hot Gossip, Writing stories and fanfic, watching bad love reality tv shows, watching romance movies, and reading romance books

Talent: Putting on Makeup well (since he can’t see his reflection in the mirror)

UM “Vampire’s Heart.“:

When Lucian uses his UM, he sucks blood from someone’s neck, to which he can then track that person’s location for 24 hours using the sound of their heartbeat. He can only do this one person at a time, so once he sucks blood from someone else’s neck, he can no longer track down the previous person.

Lucian is friendly and easygoing, and is one of NRC’s several flirts. He’s quite the romantic, and does yearn deeply for “True Love.”He’s a social butterfly, and can make friends very easily. He’s a bright and bubbly fellow who loves chatting (especially about Hot Gossip going around NRC). Lucian is usually in positive spirits, and it isn’t hard for him to get up again after feeling down. He’s also kind of a trendsetter at NRC, so Lucian is basically one of the popular boys of NRC.

Lucian is the son of Duke Lovelace. The Lovelaces are a high ranking Noble Family in Briar Valley. His Mother is a Succubus while his Father is a Vampire and the Head of the Lovelace House. Lucian Mother’s d!ed of a fatal illness when he was young, so he doesn’t remember much of her. Lucian is the Lovelace heir, as he’s an only child.

Fun Facts:

+ He is constantly asked if he’s related to Lilia Vanrouge. He’s not

+ Gives everyone very cutesy nicknames (Their names but in a cuter way). He even gave Malleus one

+ Garlic isn’t deadly for him, nor is it deadly for other vampires. He just thinks it tastes and smells nasty

+ Shopaholic

+ As he’s a half Incubus, Lucian needs energy from physical touch. So with friends, he’ll do things like hug them or hold their hand or put his hand on their shoulder or back. He’ll back off if his friend doesn’t like being touched

+ He really likes Valentines Day…Mainly for the aesthetics and chocolate

+ LOVES romance and romantic stuff

+ Popular on Magicam (Cater really wants a collab)

+ Has a soft spot for cute things

+ Fanfic Writer (loves writing)

+ All of his belongings are in Black and Pink. Also lots of hearts

+ Loves fabulous and mysterious Galas and Balls

+ Cannot STAND Diasomnia’s ugly greens

+ Has an Ex he doesn’t want to talk about (his Ex cheated on him)

+ His bed is a literal coffin. He also sleeps with his arms crossed like he’s a c*rpse

+ A bit of a procrastinator

[answithvanzz]

can i rant about Taco [bfdi] for a bit? No? well too bad 😃

She had SO much missed potential it’s crazy. She was such an interesting character and it sucks that they changed her personality post-split. Don’t get me wrong, i still love her and she’s still my absolute favorite bfdi character no matter what, but her personality was changed so much post-split and that makes me sad.

[More yapping under cut]

Pre-split, Taco was shunned from her team, which let us see a lot about her personality. She was competitive, clever, but also pretty reckless and stubborn, which is a good thing. A character can’t be a good one without flaws. She also had a sense of leadership, which was shown in bfb 1, when she lead her team to the basket, making her pretty independent and prone to taking matters into her own hands.

However, in post-split bfb, her personality changes a lot. She still has a few occasional moments where she acts like her pre-split self while competing, but she became almost a caretaker to blocky and woody which she probably wouldn’t have done if she had her old personality. After the split, she just became another bland character to shove in the background, and it sucks, it feels like the writers just didn’t have any more ideas for her. She was a very popular character pre-split, but they took away every interesting part of her character and replaced it with someone who complains alot and that played a big part her downfall and being overhated by fans.

If she had joined tpot, and kept her old personality, she would have been a way more substantial character and have way more opportunities. She could’ve been a great team leader, with her competitive and cleverness, combined with her abilities like her athleticism and heat resistance. Plus she would’ve been the perfect character to be suspicious of One! In bfb 29, she’s the one to point out that the announcer is hiding something, while nobody believes her. Which could’ve fit SO PERFECTLY with the whole current situation in tpot.

I do have more i wanna say but I’m tired and i forgot lol

also obviously this is biased since Taco’s my favorite character, [also this sucks because i suck at doing character analysises and wrote this tired asf the night before my school resumes after winter break] and I don’t have anything against post-split Taco [I love her either way], i just would’ve preferred it more if she joined tpot or just kept her personality.

Anyways thank you for coming to my Ted Talk and have some Taco images i got from the latest tpot episode

[moki-dokie]

also i think this just perfectly highlights this sort of specific mentality we see so often when discussing blockades people face in life - but you see it most around discussions about disability.

"Well *I* can do it" and "Just get ___" are two common rhetorics that get lobbed at you all the time.

Like, for one thing we are not talking about individual cases here, but thousands to millions. That you can find a solution yourself does not automatically mean it's a solution for the millions we're talking about. If it was, there wouldn't be a problem to begin with.

And lets be honest, if you're making a meal with TEN servings for $15 or under, it is not going to be a fully nutritional meal. Basically the only meals that can be made at that price are going to be staple grains or beans and MAYBE if you are very lucky, a very small amount of very cheap and low-quality meat. Sure, that's fine occasionally - it isn't detrimentally unhealthy - but it isn't the kind of meal you should be eating every single day for every single meal. Not only does your body require more nutrients than that, but you'll very quickly find how much worse bad, bland food can make your depression and a shitty situation worse.

There was a time when you could make alllll sorts of meals for $15 or less. Pretty healthy meals too! Ones that could last you a few days, even. But that was at a time when cans of tuna were still like 30c and less, when canned veg was like 20c, when eggs were not even a whole dollar for a dozen. i'm very fortunate that where i live is like cattle paradise and thus we have incredibly low-cost beef compared to the rest of the country, but even still it's hard to find your basic chuck roast under $10 now. fucking chicken breasts are hard to find for under $10. CHICKEN!!

and, let us not forget that minimum wage has still not yet raised since 2009. yet our jobs have grown exponentially harder and more stressful, our hours longer, commute times worse, and our general health is in the shitter bc nobody can afford having just a routine primary care physician anymore.

Yet the mentality is still somehow stuck in this early 00s era. That lifestyle is not sustainable anymore. Hasn't been for a long time.

And as for "just get ___" okay, so tell me how? Is someone without an appliance to cook with meant to just starve themselves for a week to save in order to buy said appliance? yes, you would save money if you could get a thing to cook with, but in the meantime you still have to eat. and yet again that doesn't address any other blockade that there may well be. so maybe they get like, a toasteroven and a hot plate. awesome. now what good is that if they come in from a 10 hour shift at 9pm and have only enough time to shower before needing to get to bed for the next day's shift? how does having that appliance help them if they can't physically operate it? how would having a hot plate save any money if their dietary needs are far too costly from a grocer? If they have no place to store cold ingredients?

It isn't about individual issues. It isn't just ONE thing that has caused this big stupid problem. solve one thing and there's seven more problems still blocking the ultimate solution. It's a whole fucking mess of issues that continue to get worse and worse as capitalism continues to suck up more of our lives.

and you know what, i'll be the first one to admit that SOMETIMES, yes, i am just fucking lazy. But most times, I'm faced with like five different blockades and some of them aren't even shit I listed - like sharing a house with three people who work very different shifts and when *I* have time to use the kitchen, I run the risk of waking someone else up. Even if nothing else stood in my way, I only have the ability to cook without disturbing someone 1 day a week. i can only imagine what a nightmare it must be for folks with 4 and 5 housemates on different schedules.

there's been a bit of a Hot Topic going around bsky (and twt too i guess) about why my age group (particularly in the US) doesn't cook at home much anymore

and there's been a whole lot of takes ranging from dogshit to good and intelligent to total confusion from folks in other countries. neat stuff right. decided to throw my 2 cents in from my own perspective as part of the demographic.

the tldr of it being: there are *several* factors that make it not worth it nor cost efficient anymore where it once was. obviously that isn't gonna be the case for everyone, but it is the case for an overwhelming majority, me included. and this isn't even including, you know, a whole population of disabled people who are physically unable to cook for themselves but I sort of figured that was a given. but maybe not, considering...

then this absolute genius comes in

thank you buddy for having no reading comprehension and missing quite literally every single point i made that it isn't strictly about the dollar amount of the meal itself. like. okay??? good for you i guess.

sure, there will be some meals where that is very true. I could make a bigass pot of ham and beans that'll last me a whole week for about $10. hence why i added there will always be some meals cheaper to make at home. but that completely disregards every. other. point.

it is not, and has never been, about the direct cost of the meal itself. that's just one of a handful of reasons that factor into the whole conversation. there are going to be times that eating out will be more expensive price-wise, but when it checks off like 5 different boxes i couldn't fulfill myself for whatever reason, that price balances out. and we really are in an age where we're having to negotiate the worth of every action we take and every minute we spend on something. i don't know why thats such a hard concept for people to grasp.

legit nobody is arguing it *should* be this way. it shouldn't. we all recognize this. in the ideal world it would be both worth it and affordable to make every meal at home and leave eating out for special occasions, as was the case when i was growing up. and i totally get it that our parents, many of whom raised us by their lonesome, managed to do it fine so in theory we should be able to as well. sometimes, yeah, it really is a matter of sucking it up and doing it no matter how exhausted you might be. that's true for all facets of life tbh. but it shouldn't be that way all the time every time.

and, i don't know about the rest of you, but for us? it really was a whole fucking To Do to clip coupons and plan Shopping Day. I'd spend a couple hours clipping from a few different newspapers and the mail fliers we collected. then we organized them by store. then mom would plan out which stores we would go to for which items,the route we'd take since sometimes it meant going outside of town, the timeframe for everything since it was typically an all-day event. like, a whole day of planning and a whole day of executing JUST to grocery shop, and that was back in the 90s/00s. Inconvenient, yes, but still actually worth the trouble. couponing saved SO much money back then, especially if you knew the stores that would double them. coupons like those don't exist anymore. period. now the ones that do are like, pennies off or bogo deals and otherwise it's app this and app that for any sort of savings - which even then might only be like a meager 10% off the purchase. in no way is it worth my time and effort today to do the same thing we did when i was young.

anyway. so yeah. for a hell of a lot of us, sometimes going out to eat or ordering in is in fact the most worthwhile way, and sometimes even the most cost efficient way, to feed ourselves anymore.

[violetflowers55]

Hot & Cold - Chapter 1

(Dr. Phosphorus x fem!reader)

Synopsis: Since there’s not enough alien criminals, you got stuck in the monster section of Belle Reve. And of course Waller put you on Task Force M. To make matters even worse, the guy who landed you in prison in the first place is right there, never leaving you alone. But maybe, he can compensate you in more way than one…

No content warnings needed for this chapter (that I can think of). No Y/N usage

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Being imprisoned sucked. Being imprisoned in Belle Reve sucked more. Being imprisoned in the monster section sucked the most.

You’d had a good five years to figure out how to, well, not thrive, but do a bit more than just survive. Fight when someone else instigates - not enough to get you thrown into isolation, but enough to scare off everyone else for awhile. Don’t piss of the guards, but also don’t be a suck up, they hate that even more. Don’t make friends because they’ll either die, get transferred, or turn on you. There was only one thing you hadn’t figured out yet. Well, two if you count figuring out how to escape. When Waller pulled you for a super secret special mission, your first thought was that maybe you could figure out at least one of your two remaining problems.

The sun bore down on the six of you as Waller and Flag carted you into a military ship. The feeling of its warmth was one you hadn’t felt in a long time, and it was gone too soon. As you got wedged between two other freaks, you finally looked to see who else was pulled for the super special top secret mission. On you left was Weasel, some freaky rodent you didn’t really know. On the other side was The Bride; you’d never met her before but you figured she was The Bride since she looked like she would be Frankenstein’s bride. Across from her was a robot and across from Weasel was some fish girl. The only person you knew was sitting right across from you. As much as you tried not to, his green glowing skeleton was hard not to look at, and the two of you locked eyes. Or, at least, it felt like you did.

“Wow. After all these years, and we’re finally reunited on a mission to save a princess. Who would’ve thought?” Dr. Phosphorus said, in a tone that you knew meant he was grinning. You scoffed. “I would’ve thought we’d be reunited by you breaking me out of that hellhole.”

“You two… know each other?” the fish girl asked.

“No.” you said firmly, hoping to put an end to the conversation.

Truthfully, you had met before, back in Gotham. You ran into each other while trying to rob the same bank. He threatened to burn your “pretty little face” off, you threatened to break all his bones and leave him an immovable fire. Not exactly love at first sight.

“She just doesn’t want to admit she’s totally in love with me,” he whispered to the girl.

“Don’t think my threat to break your bony ass doesn’t still stand.” Despite your threat, you could still feel him grinning at you. You couldn’t tell if it was his gaze or his literal flames that were heating you up.

When you finally arrived at the castle, breaking free from being squished up against your fellow monsters felt almost as good as being let out of isolation. The castle looming in front of you was shockingly beautiful. You silently cursed yourself for not trying to take it over while you were free.

As the seven of you were escorted inside, Phosphorus slowly drifted over to walk next to you. It took every fiber of your being not to look at him. But being so close to him, you had to admit his warmth felt nice.

Then at dinner, he of course was quick to make sure he sat next to you. When you and the Bride rolled your eyes and his obviousness, he tried to casually explain it away by saying “Us Gotham guys gotta stick together, right?”, but his nervous chuckle gave him away. Soon enough, dinner was served, distracting everyone. It’d been far too long since you’d had real, good food, and just like the others, you scarfed it down. When you finally paused and looked up, you noticed the princess staring at you.

“Forgive me, I do not mean to stare. I was just… I mean no offense, but I thought America had forbidden human criminals from missions such as this one?” Princess Illana asked.

The table went silent, except for Weasel’s aggressive eating noises.

You tried to smile. “I know I look like one, but I’m not human.” It was hard to hold her gaze; you just didn’t have it in you to explain further. She muttered a simple “Oh”, and the previous chatter and eating resumed shortly. Except for you, your appetite was gone.

“You ok?” Phosphorus whispered, noticing you pushing your food around with your fork.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You still couldn’t look at him, but this time it wasn’t because you didn’t want to.

“I know you’re fine,” he teased.

“Shut it,” you snapped before he could ask if you were ok again.

For most of your life, no one knew you weren’t human. You were great at hiding your powers. The only reason the whole world knew you were an alien was because your stupid defense attorney thought that being an alien somehow made you exempt from the law and used it at trial. As you sat there, all you could hear was the gasps of the courtroom when he revealed your secret, and all you could feel was rage spreading throughout your body. Then you remembered how pitifully he cried when you killed him, and that calmed you down enough.

After dinner, everyone poured out into the courtyard, and you reveled in the bright warm sun. The feeling of its heat on your skin was practically euphoric. You laid down on the soft grass, shamelessly sunbathing.

“Trying to get a tan on?”

Opening one eye, you saw Phosphorus standing over you.

Ugh, why can’t he just leave me alone?

“You’re blocking my sunlight.”

Carefully, he laid down next to you, his fingertips dangerously close to yours.

“I get it, you wanna have something to show off to the loser inmates who didn’t get picked when we get back.”

You groaned. “You know nothing.”

“Mmm, maybe. But I want to know everything,” the teasing tone in his voice was gone, replaced with a low, almost seductive tone.

You thanked God you could blame your blushing cheeks on the sun.

“Oh, can it, skelly.”

He chuckled, but let it drop. The two of you laid there together in silence until the sun started to go down. At least your bedroom was sure to be warmer than your prison cell.

[rebouks]

It's been a while since I read your story and sadly I come here today as a hater: I'm afraid you're not cooking with this romance storyline with Robin. Seeing him kiss Aster was the weirdest thing because he's the most asexual character I've seen in a while. You joked how people didn't believe Robin would get a smooch but it's still not believable, at least not to me. Sorry, but I'm not eating what you're serving. I hope you don't take this badly. But if you do, you have the right to kill me.

There's also something that gave me pause: the reveal that Penny cheated on Levi once and will likely do it again, and probably with Jacob since she has a crush on him.

I just can't see Jacob entertaining Penny. First, Jacob would never accept Levi's sloppy seconds. And second, I think Jacob has an arrogant side that would clash with Penny's attitude of thinking highly of herself. "I'm too good for you" is what I see coming from him regarding her. He's a womaniser but he has taste, and Penny is rotten to the bone like Victoria. And because they're teenagers, Jacob ridiculing Penny as an indirect jab towards Levi would be so realistically petty. There's nothing quite like hitting your enemies from all angles. I'm sure Bruno taught him that. And with Levi being such a doormat, it seems it'll take somebody else to put that girl in her place and knock her down a few pegs.

And Penny's reaction to being rejected for the first time would be a sight. It's what she deserves.

And speaking of Bruno, he must come back! Ivan and Francesca are cute I guess but Brivan is still the 5-star dish and I like the spice Bruno brings to your story. Imagine if Francesca's crazy ex turns out to be an actual problem and Ivan had the bright idea of hitting up Bruno when he realised he couldn't handle the guy? "We split because I wanted to return to this life and you didn't, but now you come here asking the mafia to get involved in your life again so we can help you sort out a guy...? You've lost your mind. You and your woman just need to go to the police like everyone else with an abusive partner. Now get out." but then think twice when he meets the guy in question when he contacts Bruno's family to buy an illegal firearm from them, babbling how he's going to "fix" his ex's new boyfriend and get her and his son back. Initially, he'd be hurt Ivan only sought him for the sake of his new girlfriend, but Bruno will be damned if anything happened to the man who owns his heart and their little daughter. And we know he doesn't mind getting his hands dirty, huh? :3c

Hmmmm maybe you're not wrong to refuse what I'm serving! Maybe it was made in a shitty diner by a jaded cook who didn't wash their hands and thought rat droppings were sprinkles?? FFFFFFF.. no but I get it, Robin and Levi's plan kinda sucked from the get go and him kissing Aster like that was pretty uncharacteristic.. but alas he is a teenage boy with bad decision making skills and false bravado from his little gift, so here we are.

I will say that he's definitely not asexual tho and if I have, I didn't mean to give off that vibe for him.. believe me, most of these teens, including Robin, are thinking and (sometimes) acting on thoughts right now, wink wonk (hell, I know I was at that age) but it's not something I particularly feel like being too graphic about since they're still teens y'know? I've mostly just implied or alluded to such things when necessary, so my bad if that's not coming off too well, but rather that than be too crass.

I may have joked about Penny cheating on Levi with Jacob, and she definitely would if given the chance, but I think you're right that Jacob wouldn't be interested in her, she's far too high maintenance for him and he'd totally be against the idea of touching Levi's seconds like.. no thx! 🫣 I would love to see her try and get shot down for sure tho, that'd be hilarious!! Someone needs to take her down a peg or two one day! Part of me hopes it IS Levi who does so, but we'll have to see.

Hmmm hmmm hm.. Bruno! As much as I still love Brivan I don't think there's even a slight chance Ivan would ever go to him for help, especially since he went back to that life, even if he thought it'd help. He's so against everything it stands for.. it almost took his life, Oscar's in a roundabout way, Cookie's?! and it DID suck Bruno back in, he's waaay too stubborn and proud as well like, Bruno fucking left him for THAT? Are you kidding??? Fuck crawling back to him for ANYTHING, nope. he'd never! Now, that's not to say Bruno wouldn't jump in without Ivan's permission but (and I'll let you off for this cos we don't know Lee too well) he's way too much of a coward to take matters into his own hands like that. He's just not dealing with losing Frankie/Sawyer in a very healthy way, hence the bullshit spewing from his mouth. He's probably asleep on the job or some shit atm, not buying firearms from Kaden n' co. in Oasis Springs, however exciting that may be.

All that being said, I hope you still like the direction I go with all these threads, because they ARE all going somewhere. We're just dealing with people who don't always make the best decisions at the end of the day and that's what makes this stuff interesting to me! We don't always have to like the path or the choices these guys make but hopefully they all learn something along the way! Or not, I guess? That's also fun sometimes lmao 🤸‍♀️

[yandere-fics]

♡ You Kill Theanna But She Returns ♡

(The garden won't let Theanna die and it grows attached to you too.)

♡ Out of everything you predicted might happen to you from killing the crown princess, executions, being hunted for the rest of your life, general public scorn, you had not expected to be mocked by the very person you seduced and poisoned to death the night prior arriving at the ball, the same ball you intended to meet up with the person who had contracted you, and propose to you. You were sure she was dead, you'd seen her corpse, you'd heard the servants shriek and the court mage being called for but here she was only looking slightly worse for wear with what you were sure what a flower growing out of her palm though you shut your mouth about that observation because there was a chance you'd gone crazy and that was just another thing you were imagining, maybe you hadn't killed her. Maybe you'd not poisoned her but had given yourself a hallucinogenic. That seemed way more likely than her being here despite being dead the night prior. If that was the case you would have to try again though. ♡

♡ Regardless you said yes, what else were you supposed to do? You had failed to kill her, whether it was because you'd actually dosed yourself somehow despite being an accomplished assassin or she had come back to life. You would figure out how you were going to try to kill her again later. Some part of your gut told you the flower had something to do with her coming back to life but you couldn't really figure out how that would make any sense. You usually didn't ignore your instincts, that was how you'd killed so many over the years but you had to press your instincts down this time. Even if it had been true it wouldn't have benefitted you in any way. ♡

"You left the room last night before I could speak to you properly darling." You sucked in a breath, so she knew something had occurred last night. She probably knew everything and if that was the case then there was a chance she definitely had come back to life. You were screwed, how were you supposed to kill someone who could come back to life? If she knew though, why would she still propose to you? Revenge? "My queen shouldn't be messing with poisons, perhaps I should keep you in our chambers until you learn better."

"What-" She cut you off kissing you softly.

"Don't worry, you couldn't kill me even if you had tried another method, my queen. Now just smile for the people, they need to see their new queen." She pulled you back into the main ballroom smiling widely as she announced your marriage, while you tried your best not to look horrified.

♡ So she had definitely died that night. You realized that very quickly because despite being forced to be by her side at every moment she never ate nor drank. You weren't sure what had brought her back but something had and so any hopes you had of killing her again through a poisoning method would not work. You'd try stabbing next. You were determined to finish this contract. Not just because it was a lot of money you had been offered but also you did not want to marry her under any circumstances and the days towards your wedding were slowly counting down. There was only so much stalling you could do by asking for ridiculous things like a wedding dress with a train so long twenty people needed to carry it. ♡

♡ The next time you tried to kill her you had a knife to cut your steak and pounced on her the moment everyone else left the room, suddenly being thrown back from… a vine? All she did was remove the knife from your hands and calmly cut your steak. You were never allowed to cut your own food from that point onwards. You snuck another knife away to attempt it again in her sleep but… that stupid vine happened to stop it yet again. Theanna grumbling when she woke up to see your expression, pulling you down to the bed while mumbling something about how you had to start behaving yourself as her queen. ♡

The vine had begun to make more frequent appearances now that you had tried to kill her yet again. Mostly preventing you from walking away from Theanna, holding you in place as she ravished your body, swatting your wrist slightly any time you attempted to even grab a butterknife or pen. Theanna didn't really acknowledge it other than a light chuckle any time to vine wrapped around you. You weren't really sure how much of it she controlled though or if it was a separate entity. It was clearly related to whatever it had that had kept her alive. Killing her would be impossible with the vine around. You decided you'd be better off escaping.

♡ It had taken a lot of convincing to get Theanna to leave you in your bedroom while she went to work in her office. You'd slipped out the window and had taken off running into the forest as quick as you could. You ignored how it felt like there was a force trying it's best to keep you near the castle. Probably the same force that had brought her back to life. It didn't take long for Theanna to catch up to you, yet another vine coming out to grab you, carrying you and setting you bridal style in Theanna's arms who merely grinned. ♡

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV Musings - LDPDL & Nosferatu 2024

We all know & love AMC!IWTV's canon that the Unholy Family saw Nosferatu in 1922, and busted a gut rotflol over Hollywood's vampire.

But if Louis saw Nosferatu 2024, in the wake of Lestat in NOLA, and esp. Armand in Paris/SanFran/Dubai & Claudia's death, I reckon he'd be triggered on several levels. Ofc, one doesn't need to see Nos24 thru Louis' eyes/POV to recognize all the themes about the predatory nature of vampiric seduction, let alone the devastating ways vampires affect/abuse/take advantage/wreak havoc on human vulnerabilities like religious mania depression, mental illness, and suicidal ideation. But let's go for it!

The Closeted (Isolation, Repression, & Mental Illness)

In IWTV, Louis was a closeted gay man who had to grow up always hiding who he really was, for fear of punishment by his uber-Catholic family as well as society at large. Homosexuality was not only considered a mental illness, subject to extreme forms "treatment" including solitary confinement in a sanatorium (mental asylum--the same place his mentally ill brother Paul had already been sent that made him "worse than before"); but also a crime punishable by incarceration or even death.

I've long said that "Rashid"/Armand's treatment of Louis esp. in Dubai was more like a nurse than a servant--the kind of nurse that hates their job (being "stuck on suicide watch") & whose bedside manner effing SUCKS, having no patience for the mentally ill & no capacity to properly take care of them; just making things worse.

In Nosferatu, Ellen was always "touched" as a child, having the 2nd sight that allowed her to always know ahead of time what her Xmas gifts were, and know the date her mom would die. Her mean father thought she was a freak and had her closeted away & isolated from society, the family embarrassment. Even after she got married, Thomas' BFF Friedrich barely tolerated Ellen, and when her seizures started he had her tied & doped & corseted up--all the worst ways of caring for her that likely did more harm than good. Ellen even called him out on it, knowing Friedrich tied her up cuz he hated having to deal with her in the first place "I tire of discussing her; can we please talk about something else; the entire household centers around her fairy whims!," and got sick of her being in his house anymore.

Book & Hearth's video analysis of Ellen's mental illness in Nosferatu says this:

So, Louis/Ellen are both people stigmatized by Victorian society for things that were never their fault (homosexuality, mental illness, etc), either socially closeted/isolated (Louis) or spatially closeted/isolated (Ellen).

(Lestat kept whining in 1x3 & 2x7 about how the worst thing a vampire can feel is loneliness--as if that's not awful for humans to feel, too. 🙄 Esp. since vamps are immortal, they've got all the time in the world for someone to eventually show up & fall in love with them; unlike humans, who grow old & decrepit & die in no time flat.)

We see the extreme lengths Louis & Ellen would go to, to alleviate their loneliness & desperation for companionship, and their desire to feel seen & close to someone--even if that someone was the Devil himself: a vampire.

"Come to me" - Loustat & Orllen

Both IWTV & Nosferatu use Come to Me. It's a motif as old as Dracula itself, so it's par for the course, really.

"Come to me, Arthur. Leave these others and come to me. My arms are hungry for you. Come, and we can rest together. Come, my husband, come!" --Lucy Westenra, Dracula

But both shows play around with it in interesting ways.

In IWTV, Lestat repeatedly chants C2M/Viens a moi to lure Louis to him. In 1x1 Louis actually runs away, fleeing to the church & prayed to God to help/kill him; only for the Devil/Lestat to show up & "give you death" by making him a vampire. But in 1x6, Lestat uses the song "Come to Me" to "get a rise out of" Louis, who swims the Mississippi to take his estranged husband back. But during the Trial, Lestat lied on Lou and accused him of saying C2M to "accost" Les instead--the human seducing the vampire. Meanwhile, Lou still has Les's master recording of C2M in 2022, which he plays for Daniel in Dubai--again proving that Les was lying on Lou & weaponized C2M against him.

Nosferatu24 plays the human-calling/seducing-the-vampire straight, where Ellen literally summoned Orlock. Lonely, she'd prayed to God for a companion, "a spirit of comfort," but accidentally roused the Nosferatu from his sleep as she kept repeating "Come to me."

Ellen accidentally called Orlock, and Lestat hunted Louis down--but both characters are still guilt-ridden by their open-armed acceptance of their vampire lovers, once they eventually realize that the person they thought would be their comfort/safety had only taken advantage of their loneliness, desperation & ignorance about their situation and the type of creature these vamps really were.

Louis' relationship with Armand doesn't 1:1 fit, since they never use C2M per se, but Armand DOES approach Louis similarly to Les, as the charismatic vampire who stalked Lou before finally confronting him, luring him & Claudia into the Theatre to recruit/convert them to his crazy AF coven/cult; and then using a series of lies, manipulations & brainwashes to take advantage of Louis' trauma post-Banishment to keep Lou as his (un)willing companion for 77yrs after killing his daughters.

The Death of 2 Daughters

Orlock's murder of Friedrich's 2 daughters is a chilling scene. The Nosferatu puts a spell on Friedrich while he's sleeping, his hand casting a spectral shadow over Friedrich's face to keep him pinned in his bed and trapped in his nightmares. Meanwhile, his 2 daughters & wife are screaming for him to help them, but Friedrich can't move or wake up, impotently clutching the gun in his hand as his wife & kids are slaughtered bu Orlock, just down the hall from him.

Orlock has both the little girls in his clutches, and throws them down like sacks of potatoes once he's done draining them, as their mother Anna helplessly watches, screaming, before he kills her, too.

This is painfully similar to how Armand instructed the coven to fog the minds of Claudia, Madz & Louis whenever they tried defending themselves, on top of their ankles being slashed so they couldn't move, escape, or fight back--esp. not once Lou was dragged away kicking & screaming to be buried alive, ensuring that he'd be helpless to do anything to save his 2 daughters from being murdered. The last thing he ever heard Claudia say was her screaming his name.

(Since this is 2024, Louis wouldn't yet be privy to the details Lestat reveals in S3 (2026). But if Lestat's also watching Nos24, he knows even more about Claudia's final moments than Lou does--that feeling of helplessness is only amplified by the fact that she's HIS literal Blood Child--he'd've felt her die the same way Louis felt Madz die. Drained after using his Mind Gift to save Louis with Banishment, Lestat's too weak to save Claudia as she burns. The last thing Claudia ever saw was her father just standing there, uselessly watching Armand & the coven burn her to death.)

Sexual Inhibitions, Awakenings, Stigmas, Salvation

Louis is often mocked/derided in the fandom as a d**kmatized Pick Me who only thinks with his loins to stay with toxic AF Lestat's "considerable considerables;" after years of closeted sexual repression.

"Do you remember the best you ever had? So imagine that flowing inside your veins again. Now multiply it by miles, to the rings of Saturn and back...." "He had a way about him, those first years, Lestat. Preternaturally charming, occasionally thoughtful. He was my murderer, my mentor, my lover, and my maker--all of those things at once. He had taken what he called un petit coup, the Little Drink. Not enough to kill me, but just enough to keep him fit. It takes an enormous amount of restraint for us, the Little Drink. For a human, experiencing it for the first time, it was…unsettling. And not for the physical toll on my body, which was significant, but for the feelings of intimacy it awoke within me."

Lestat's seduction of Louis was a sexual revelation/awakening, but it also spooked TF outta Louis. He fled Lestat's house in a gay panic, "vowing never to return." I also discussed how Lestat's C2M in 1x1 was dubcon/noncon, and mirrored Lestat in Paul's head, making both him AND Louis feel unclean.

She sank on her knees on the floor in an agony of abasement. Pulling her beautiful hair over her face, as the leper of old his mantle, she wailed out. “Unclean! Unclean! Even the Almighty shuns my polluted flesh! I must bear this mark of shame upon my forehead until the Judgement Day.” -- Mina Harker, Dracula

(Lou was bored to dangit death with Armand in SanFran (the gay mecca where he'd been enjoying his 2nd wind/try at a gay sexual awakening), mocking Armand for having been forced into ascetic celibacy by the Children of Satan, who made him forget he had a working peen (Lou was obvs mad that Armand wasn't using said peen with Lou--the Bed Death Truthers were right all along, LOL).)

Meanwhile, Ellen was outright called a "sinner" by her father when he found her lying naked after a (Orlock-induced) fit/orgasm.

Orlock stayed with Ellen for years, an incubus visiting her in her dreams & having sex with her (the best she'd ever had, as she later throws in Thomas' face, "you could never please me like he could"); but also throwing her into fits/seizures--"at first it was sweet...and then it turned to torture!"

In the end, LDPDL & Ellen use their sexual prowess to distract their vampire husbands long enough for their Murder Plots to be accomplished--a la Mina Harker in Dracula.

Louis is literally instructed by Claudia to seduce Lestat, keeping him distracted with sex while Claudia plans how to poison & kill him. Louis is afraid to fall back into the "well with no bottom" and "lose myself in him," and Claudia promises to be his salvation--pulling him out in time to strike the killing blow to Lestat.

Ellen is another femme fatale who welcomes Orlock into their marriage bed, where she forcefully holds him close as he notices the sun rising; keeping him distracted with sex long enough for the sunlight to cook him to death as she hemorrhages under him. Her suicide is her salvation/martyrdom, as she frees herself (and the whole town) from Orlock's clutches.

(Again, Armand doesn't have as neat of a 1:1 fit, since Louis doesn't distract him with sex to defeat him. But Louis still plays up his seemingly helpless submission to get Armand to allow the interview to continue, as if Daniel isn't threat, and as if Louis doesn't suspect Armand of foul play--at least not until the end of 2x5 ofc. But Armand constantly wrests control back, and by the end of the interview in 2x8 he ALMOST wins. Louis doesn't defeat Armand or save himself at all here--DANIEL defeats Armand & saves Louis instead, showing the leagues of difference between the threat Armand posed vs Lestat. )

[nudibranchpropaganda]

followed you because when you reblogged my bad communication post i loved your url !! do u have any nudibranch propaganda to share?

Hell yea i do!! This got a little long :)

These funky little dudes have the coolest morphology, something theyre well known for. They can be pretty tiny (0.4 cm) or surprisingly large (60 cm) and generally live in the tropics, though there are certainly a wide variety that live in cooler ocean water as well. Some of the more well known species are very eye catching, like the Jorunna Parva (Bunny slug) or Glaucus Atlanticus

Some of them look like funky leaves and some of them look like slugs we see on the surface too! (Did you know licking banana slugs that you find on land makes your tongue go numb? 10/10 not recommended but i was a dumb kid)

They also come in a goth or clown variant for those that are looking to fit a certain aesthetic :)

Theres two kinds of nudibranchs. Dorids, which breathe from a central plume of gills above their ass, and Aeolids, which breathe from a collection of spiky protrusions called cerata. There are a couple more distinguishing features relating to their digestive tracts and mantles (or lack thereof), but this is the easiest way to tell them apart in my opinion!

Theyre also carnivorous! These guys will eat a wide variety of stuff, including sponges, coral, barnacles, anemones, and even other nudibranchs and their eggs.

There are a couple species that have some pretty cool diets, like the Glaucus Atlantica, which preys on the portugese man of war and other siphonophores. It can eat the man of war whole if theyre small enough, but will also just eat the tentacles if theyre too big. Glaucus will then push the stinging nematocysts (the bits that hurt) from its insides to its outsides and use them as self defence!

There are also sea slugs, like the Costasiella Kuroshimae (technically not a nudibranch yada yada yada) that eat algae they then use to photosynthesize!

These funky little creatures are also hermaphroditic! Like a lot of animals, they use mating dances to attract a partner. Thats not whats cool about their reproduction though. When the time comes to lay their eggs, they do so in the coolest ribbon-like structures.

Mostly though, i just love how different all these little guys are. Personally, my fav nudi is from the ocean near where i live!

Anyways, that was rlly long. thanks if u ended up reading and defs look into these little weirdos on ur own!! (references? idk her :P but actually i dont remember where i learned most of this, though some supplemental info and pics w out credits from wikipedia!)