can you write billiexdeliaxwilhemina (love your stories) with reader suffering from bad panic attacks?
Billie Dean Howard x Wilhemina Venable x Cordelia Goode x Reader- Breathe sweetheart
A/N: again I have no idea what happened here. I got carried away by writing about their chemistry and Billie and Mina roasting each other so. Again tried to proofread this a few times but it's too long. I'm sorry for any mistakes
tw: anxiety, panic attacks, agoraphobia, cursing, smut (choking, mommy kink, praise kink)
word count: 10k 😅
taglist: @lunaticwhittaker, @billiebeanhoward, @lanawinters-ily, @kenzbro, @minaslittleone, @httpfiftyshadesofgay,@whitelotus00, @ninaahs, @vintagepaulson,@isle-of-earle,@paulsonsratched, @stepintomyworld, @grilledcheeseandguavajelly, @lucyintheskywithxanax, @fanfics4world, @mymiraclewitch, @hazard-to-myself, @awritersometime
The anticipation had been building up all day, it was Saturday which meant date night. It eventually became your routine, the four of you deciding to clear your schedules to spend the day in the company of each other. This week it was Billie's turn to decide and she had booked a table somewhere, deciding on a nice dinner together. Cordelia was usually the one opting for dinner, whether home cooked meals or going somewhere. Billie often chose fun things like karaoke bars, while Wilhemina and you opted for things inside of the walls of your home, board game nights or movie marathons.
The last few hours you spent planning your outfit, showering, applying just a little but the right amount of makeup. As you perfect little bits of your makeup, you feel a rush of excitement as you look forward to the fun evening ahead. ,,You look beautiful darling'' Delia told you as she brushed past you after you finished in the shower, despite wearing nothing but a towel around your body and head. ,,Exactly my point'' she whispered and you simply chuckled.
,,I like that colour on you little one'' Mina admitted, as she fetched something, slipping into the room and seeing the lilac underwear you chose. As you finish, you make your way down the staircase, eventually finding your three girlfriends in the living room. You take in their features, Billie wearing a silk blouse, skirt, her signature pearl necklace and some heels finishing her look. As you glance at Cordelia, she chose a long flowery dark dress, complimenting her beautiful features. Smiling softly, your eyes at last meet Wilhemina's opting for a lilac set and you couldn't adore her more for how predictable the choice was.
,,You look beautiful sweetheart'' Cordelia tells as she approaches you, pressing a gentle kiss on your cheek. Wilhemina can't help but smirk, not being able to focus on your outfit much as the only thing on her mind was the purple underwear and thinking about all the things she was going to do about that later that night. As Billie grabs her keys, complementing your looks, you all groan a little, not pleased the medium was going to drive. ,,You may as well cancel the reservation Howard, driving with you is going to get us all killed before we get there'' Wilhemina remarks and you can't help but burst out laughing. Billie simply rolls her eyes and shoots you a little glance before dragging the three of you out of the house.
It was true, Billie was somewhat a reckless driver, safe of course but the three of you often joked about her driving getting you all injured. Delia was the safest driver you had ever met and so damn slow, as a result you liked driving with Wilhemina, she wasn't exactly calm and knowing to road rage but she always drove safe and carefully, without going under or over the speed limit. Settling into the backseat, Wilhemina taking a seat next to Billie due to her back, you find Delia sitting next to you.
,,How are you feeling baby?'' she whispers into your ear while planting kisses down your face. ,,I'm good, excited'' you squeal a little and for the remainder of the short drive, she holds your hand, enjoying the quiet and little moments with you.
After a little while you make it there and after five attempts Billie finally found a parking spot, refusing to parallel park to the point where Wilhemina was going to make her get out of the car and do it herself and Cordelia even offering to use her magic to help out the medium a little. Delia and you chuckle as you walk towards the entrance, watching Billie and Mina jokingly fight about the redhead driving back home and the medium refusing.
As Billie walks inside, letting the hostess know about the reservation, you take in the setting and atmosphere. It was definitely high end but in a casual way. You liked the artwork on the walls, the chandeliers and the smell definitely clouded your mind for a second. ,,Sweetie, you coming?'' Delia asks, chuckling at you being a little distracted before you quickly follow after her.
After sitting down next to Wilhemina, your other two lovers across from you, the ambiance fills with lively chatter. Billie opts for wine which the three of you agree to. The conversations quiets down for a moment as you all inspect the menu. ,,Found something little one?'' Wilhemina asks gently and you nod and smile, finding her brown eyes meeting yours.
After a little while the aroma of the delicious food hits your taste buds and you can't help but let out a little moan of approval. ,,That good hm?'' Billie teases, causing for your cheeks to grow red a little. As you listen to your three girlfriends talk about the week prior, you can't help but feel a sense of contentment wash over you. The prospect of spending quality time with your loved ones fills you with warmth and happiness.
You listen intently to the supreme talking about the academy, how well most of the girls are doing, some council things. Billie rambling about her show and some fashion designer launch she was very excited for. Mina was usually more quiet, not sharing things about her work or days unless asked to. But Cordelia knowing this by now, makes sure to include her and you in the conversations.
As the meal progresses, a sense of unease begins to creep in, a gnawing sensation in the pit of your stomach that refused to be ignored. You try to push it down, hiding your trembling hands underneath the table, ignoring the banging of your heart against your chest. Trying hard to push it aside, you try to focus on the conversation and laughter flowing around you, but the feeling only seems to grow stronger with each passing moment.
And then, without warning, it hit you like a fright train, a tidal wave of panic crashing over you with such force that you feel as though you are growing in it's wake. The room starts spinning, your legs shaking and your head keeps telling you ,,You are going to faint''. Your heart continues to race, your breathing coming in short, shallow gasps as you struggle to hold onto reality.
Your gaze lingers on Billie and Cordelia laughing and talking softly, however it doesn't help. ,,Breathe'' you think to yourself, this feeling definitely not being a stranger and trying your best to think back to your methods. However all you wanted to do was run away, get up and run somewhere, escaping the situation and how you are feeling in this moment. Not wanting to spoil dinner, you try to open your mouth to excuse yourself to the bathroom but no words come out. Clutching your hands together, fiddling with your rings, in an attempt to make this go away.
However it was no use and your girlfriends aren't oblivious. Delia, Billie and Mina notice the sudden shift in your demeanour, their expressions shifting from lighthearted to concerned in an instant.
,,Are you okay?'' Delia asks, her voice filled with worry as she reaches out to touch your hands
But you can't bring yourself to answer, the panic gripping you in its vice-like grip, squeezing the air from your lungs and leaving you slightly gasping for your breath. You try to push through it, force yourself to calm down but the harder you fought, the more intense the panic becomes.
Unable to reach your hand, Cordelia meets Wilhemina's gaze sitting next to you and suddenly you feel her hand taking your own, gasping a little bit. ,,Little one, you are trembling'' she states, looking at Billie and Cordelia unsure what to do or say.
Cordelia's mind tries to take her back to anything she had missed, anything she is currently missing and then it dawns on her. You had mentioned this before, your panic attacks years ago before meeting them and how they got better. She connects the dots after seeing your pale and slightly panicked expression, the trembling hands and legs shacking underneath the table. As your chest heaves a little she leans forward ,,Sweetheart breathe'' she instructs and as you meet her gaze she figures you need to get out of this situation.
,,Come on, let's get some fresh air'' she instructs, leaning down to Wilhemina and Billie before whispering ,,It's okay, I think its a panic attack'' she explains, worry overwashing the medium and redheads expressions.
,,Can you walk?'' Cordelia asks softly as you brush past Wilhemina with shaky legs. You simply nod, despite your legs still feeling wobbly. She takes your hand into her own, holding it tightly before leading you outside. As the cold air hits your features you feel calm for a moment as you lean against the wall of the building.
,,Sweetheart, are you okay?'' she asks, moving closer and searching your eyes. As your eyes meet her own it's enough of an explanation for her to know you aren't in fact okay. She takes your hands into her own, guiding you through your breathing. ,,Alright sweetie, breathe with me.. in .. and hold... and ...out'' she instructs over and over again until your breathing calms down, heart beating less angrily against your chest.
As you finally meet her eyes, feeling as if the daze has lifted, you quickly open your mouth, aware of your surroundings and what happened. ,,I'm so sorry'' you apologise, meeting Cordelia's confused expression. ,,Sweetheart, you have no need to be sorry'' she explains softly, her features still laced with concern.
,,Do you want me to take you home?'' she asks but you are quick to shake your head in protest. ,,No I'm good to go back in'' you reassure and her eyes meet yours with a bit of doubt but she agrees, pulling you into a little hug whispering ,,I'm so proud of you'' and guiding you back inside, holding onto your hand.
As you make it back to your table, Billie's and Wilhemina's worried expressions meet you as both of you take your seats again. ,,Are you okay little one?'' Wilhemina asks quietly as she reaches out her hand, noticing your hands aren't trembling nearly as much. ,,Yes I'm okay now, I'm really sorry'' you apologise again.
,,Don't be sorry babydoll'' Billie coos, tilting her head a little as she smiles at you. ,,Do you want me to get the check?'' she asks but you shake your head, noticing they aren't even half way through their meals yet. Cordelia opens her mouth to protest but you take her hand reassuring her it's okay.
As the four of you finish your meals, the three of them a little more aware now, including you in the conversation more and overall checking on your state, you slowly feel the effects the panic attack had on you. Still trembling a little and definitely exhausted you muster your best smile, hating to having ruined the evening already and not wanting to do so any further. Exhaustion creeps up on you a little and you try your best to blink away the sleepiness and push away the thoughts in your head, trying to figure out what caused this, after not having one of these for nearly two years.
,,Either of you want dessert?'' Billie asks after you have all finished your meals and you simply shake your head before Wilhemina takes charge, still noticing your state suggesting it was better to head home. You couldn't argue anymore and so in response you simply carry your tired feet towards Billie's car. Leaning your head against Cordelia's shoulder you are unaware of the words of comfort she whispers into them and the concerned glances exchanged between your girlfriends.
After making it home, you wake from your little slumber as you hear some shuffling in the car. Cordelia was ready to take you into her arms and carry you upstairs. However having regained some strength you didn't want to depend on her further. As Cordelia helps Wilhemina out of the car, steadying herself on her cane, you walk towards the front door, Billie following behind, occasional sniffles being heard as you try to hold back tears of frustration and embarrassment.
As you quickly make your way upstairs, the three of them follow behind, Mina's expression one of concern as she watches over you like a guardian angel. Not knowing where to put your frustration and embarrassment, you quickly make your way to the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind you. As you slide against the bathtub, sitting on the floor you can't help yourself as sobs wreck through your tired body.
,,Bad bad bad'' your head keeps repeating, reminding you how you have ruined their night. The sound of your own tears was defeating, a relentless reminder of the turmoil inside you. You don't understand why this was happening again, especially after so long. You bury your face in your hands, unable to face the reality of what happened, the memories and severity of the panic attack, still fresh and replaying in your mind.
Meanwhile Cordelia and Billie make it up the stairs, their footsteps echoing in silence of the house. Wilhemina stands in the bedroom, meeting their gazes. ,,She's in the bathroom'' she softly announces, concern lacing her beautiful features. Delia and Billie exchange a worried glance before the medium walks over to the door ,,Babydoll?'' she tries but the only sound meeting her are your muffled sobs.
,,Darling can you open the door?'' Cordelia tries to call out, her voice soft and soothing. ,,We just want to make sure you are safe'' she adds. There is a moment of silence and understanding as their eyes meet, a silent nod exchanged before Cordelia flicks her wrist and unlocks the door.
As the door swings open, Delia and Billie rush to your side, their eyes drawn to you, sitting on the floor with tears streaming down your face. Without a word, they kneel down beside you, their arms wrapping around you in a tight embrace, as they hold you close. ,,What's the matter sweetie?'' the supreme asks and as you meet her eyes you mumble ,,I'm sorry for ruining the night''. The two of them shake their heads before saying ,,You haven't ruined anything'' almost at the same time.
After a little while they scoop you into their arms, their movements gentle and deliberate as they guide you to bed. Mina follows close behind, her expression concerned. Billie fetches one of her oversized t-shirts before taking your clothes off and sliding it over your tired body. Cordelia returns with a washcloth, gently wiping the makeup off your face. As the two blondes leave momentarily to fetch some water and get changed themselves in order to get into bed with you, Mina sits beside you, her hand reaching for yours as she leans in closer, her voice soft but firm as she addresses the elephant in the room.
,,We need to talk about what happened tonight'' she explains, her tone gentle but serious. The other two return just at the right time, Billie kneeling in front of the bed and Cordelia positioning herself behind you, wrapping her arms around you. ,,Darling?'' Cordelia tries and your gaze meets hers acknowledging her statement. ,,You told me once it's been two years since you've last had a panic attack'' and you simply nod in reply, too tired to talk about your past experiences. ,,I'm worried that there might be something underlying that we aren't addressing babydoll'' Billie gently adds, reaching for your hands.
Delia nods in agreement, her expression grave as she reaches out to brush a stray tear from your cheek. ,,We love you sweetie, we want to help you through this'' she explains her voice filled with compassion. ,,But we need to know what's going on so that we can support you in the best way possible'' she adds.
Billie's eyes flicker with concern as she speaks up, her voice tinged with worry. ,,Is there anything you aren't telling us babydoll? anything bothering you?'' she tries gently.
You hesitate thinking back hard to what might have triggered this tonight but you genuinely can't think of anything, thoughts of worry racing through your mind, scared it would get as bad again as it did years ago, worried this was the trigger for all of this to start again. You shake your head explaining ,,I promise I really don't know and don't understand myself, I have been a bit stressed lately but nothing unusual'' you explain.
Cordelia simply nods, and gestures to the other two you are telling the truth and to drop this for now. ,,Are you feeling sleepy sweetheart?'' she asks and you simply nod, still being in her arms. In response she pulls you back into her embrace, wrapping her arms around you and spooning you.
Wilhemina gets into bed next to you, Billie behind her as the redhead turns to face you, her brown eyes searching yours. She can see a flick of guilt and embarrassment once again. ,,What is it little one?'' she asks and as you whisper ,,I'm sorry for ruining the night, I'm sure you had other plans'' she can't help but smirk a little at your last statement, knowing exactly what you are implying.
,,Oh trust me little one, we got all day tomorrow'' she smirks, taking your lips into hers gently before you lean in closer, Cordelia's soft arms still wrapped around you protectively. Slowly but surely you doze off, the events from the night subsiding, focusing on the gentleness and warmth of the bed, keeping you comfortable and safe as you fall into a soft slumber, little noises escaping you and echoing through the dimly lit bedroom.
----
As you stir from sleep, the warmth of the morning sun casts a golden glow across the room. Before even opening your eyes you feel Wilhemina's presence. Opening your eyes, you notice it's just the two of you and as she gently smiles at you asking how you are feeling, you can't help but notice the little flicker of lust in her eyes.
Despite the evening before passing without an incident, Wilhemina couldn't get the image of your lilac lingerie out of her mind. A silent invitation that begged to be answered. And so, as the morning broke a little while ago, the rest of the house soundly asleep, Cordelia and Billie downstairs already, she finds herself drawn to you, remembering how the fabric hugged your curves in all the right places last night, igniting a fire of desire within the redhead.
As you meet her eyes, her hands gently roam over your skin, her touch gentle, yet hesitant, however as you melt into her touch she is met with a hunger that matches her own. Meeting Mina's gaze your eyes find a look of raw desire, her lips curled into a seductive smile. Without a word, she leans in close, her lips meeting yours in a passionate kiss that sends sparks flying through your veins.
The kiss deepens, becoming more urgent and intense with each passing moment, as if the weight of all your unspoken desire hangs heavy in the air between you, long forgotten about the previous night. As her tongue enters your mouth you try to fight for dominance but it's no use as she quickly dominates you. Her hands roam your body hungrily, her touch setting your skin on fire with need.
You moan into the kiss, your fingers tangling in her hair as you pull her close, unable to get enough of the intoxicating taste of her lips against your own. With practiced skill, she strips you off the oversized t-shirt leaving you in the same lingerie set she had been dying to see you in since the previous night. ,,So beautiful'' she praises as she quickly climbs on top of you, ignoring the aching of her back for the moment.
As she leaves you gasping for air, the redhead takes in your body coated in the colour she loves most. Her eyes are filled with desire, as she trails her fingers down your stomach and to where you needed her the most. ,,Hmm'' you moan as her fingers come into contact with your drenched underwear. ,,So wet for me already'' she teases, a smirk playing on her lips.
Despite the bliss you couldn't help but notice that she was softer today. Dominating like she usually is for sure but somehow she wasn't as rough with you, you aren't sure whether this was due to you simply obeying her lately or if it was due to the events of last night. Your thoughts are interrupted when she slides two fingers into you without a warning. ,,Mina'' you moan into her, trying your best to stay quiet, not wanting to wake the coven or anyone to hear you whimpering for the redhead.
As your soft gasps fill the air, you arch into her touch, a silent plea for more as she begins edging you, her movements slow at times and then ruthless the next second. As she begins to explore the contours of your body, you feel a rush of pleasure course through you, electrifying every nerve ending and leaving you breathless. ,,Please'' you whimper as you melt into her touch, chest heaving and kisses sloppy.
,,Please what?'' she teases as she takes her fingers out, licking them clean of your juices. ,,Please Mina'' you try again, despite knowing she wasn't going to give in that easily. Her eyes sparkle with a fire before meeting yours. ,,Please what little one? use your words'' she instructs, her voice low and commanding. However you can't respond, the pure bliss of the situation, your core aching causing your words to get caught in your throat.
Without a moment's hesitation, Wilhemina's right hand tightens around your throat, a familiar sensation that sends a jolt of electricity coursing through your veins. For a split second, your eyes open wide, the same spark of panic from the previous night flashing through them.
But then, just as quickly as it happened, the panic vanishes, replaced by the fierce desire to give yourself over to the pleasure that awaited you. Wilhemina however senses your hesitation, quickly releasing her grip on you, searching your eyes for any discomfort or fear. And yet, despite the fierce flashback of panic, you find yourself craving her touch more than ever, aching for the release that only she could give you right now.
,,It's okay'' you reassure, your voice barely above a whisper as you lean in closer. ,,Please mommy, can you make me cum?'' you ask, giving her exactly what she wanted in the first place. Yet she hesitates, searching your eyes one more time for confirmation and making sure the panic was replaced by desire. ,,Please I want you so badly'' you whimper again.
And at those words she falters, brushing off her concern before entering you again and not stopping. With each passing moment, the intensity of your desire grows, threatening to consume you whole. And as her fingers find their way back to your core, you feel yourself on the edge ,,Please may I-?'' you start, whimpering with each thrust.
,,Go on little one'' she encourages with a knowing smile and with a flick of her wrist, Wilhemina sends you spiralling over the edge, your body tensing as waves of pleasure and your orgasm ripples through you. As you cry out her name, your voice slow and hushed as you surrender yourself to her completely, she simply lets you ride out your orgasm as her forehead meets yours, guiding you through it gently. ,,There you go little one, doing so well for me'' she praises.
As you catch your breath, the lingering echoes of pleasure still thrumming through your veins, the redhead licks her fingers clean with a satisfied smirk. The sight sends a shiver of arousal down your spine, your desire for her increasing by the minute.
However, as you still struggle to catch your breathe, the exhaustion creeps up on you a little. Wilhemina shifts a little, to ease the discomfort of her back, a painful reminder of the physical toll the intimacy had taken on her. As she positions herself next to you, her eyes meet yours as she searches for any signs of panic or discomfort. You meet her gaze with a soft smile, your eyes filled with warmth and affection as well as sleepiness.
,,Are you feeling okay, little one?'' she asks, as she brushes some strand hair from your sweaty face. ,,Perfect Mina'' you mumble into her as you pull yourself closer. ,,Sleepy though'' you continue, your eyes already falling shut, despite trying to blink the sleepiness away. She smiles contently before pulling you a little closer, holding you into her arms and whispering words of comfort and affection into your ears.
As the minutes stretch into nearly an hour, Wilhemina finds herself lost in the comfort of your embrace, the outside world fading away as she allows herself to simply be in the moment with you. Despite knowing she should get up and start her day, the allure of staying close to you too strong to resist, especially on a lazy weekend morning like this.
She wouldn't admit it to anyone but she missed these moments with you. Wilhemina had a feeling that in your relationship, Cordelia was mostly the person giving you comfort, Billie always showering you in gifts and attention. However Wilhemina didn't have a whole lot to offer, at least her insecurities told her that much. She had no idea the comfort and safety she gave to you, a different comfort and safety than Cordelia did. Whenever you find yourself in Cordelia's arms or her lap, you felt safe but it was enough to be in the same room as the redhead to truly feel content and happy.
But eventually, with a reluctant sigh, the redhead knows that she couldn't linger in bed forever. With a gentle kiss to your forehead, she leaves the comfort of your embrace and makes her way towards the shower. Minutes later the warm water washing away the lingering traces of sleep and sweat from her skin. As she finishes her shower and getting dressed a little while later, she is met with an unexpected sight.
Her two blonde girlfriends, standing in the bedroom, their expression a mixture of concern and amusement as you still peacefully sleep in the bed behind them.
,,And how come I wasn't invited to this blissful morning Ms Venable?'' Billie Dean teases, quickly connecting the dots after finding you naked, slightly sweaty and sleeping in the bed.
,,I don't know what you are talking about Ms Howard'' Wilhemina simply mutters, a smirk playing on her lips as she makes her way towards her armchair by the corner.
,,I hope you didn't over do it Mina, especially after last night'' Cordelia scolds, worry evident in her expression as she glances over at Wilhemina, her eyes filled with concern.
,,I did no such thing, she's fine'' Wilhemina reassures, rarely annoyed with Cordelia's antics.
And as she takes a seat, she can't help but think back to the moment before, worry etching on her features, hoping despite everything she didn't make you feel uncomfortable with her actions.
Her thoughts are interrupted as you stir from sleep, mumbling the words ,,Mina'' as you open your eyes.
,,Well hello there babydoll'' Billie smiles, making her way over to you and leaning on the bed.
,,Seems like you had fun this morning'' she teases as she takes in the sight in front of her.
Your cheeks flush a little with embarrassment as you try and reach for the blanket to cover yourself. ,,No don't hide, I want to see, pretty one'' she whines which you can't help but tilt your head and smile to.
,,Hey sweetie, how are you feeling today?'' Cordelia urges, handing you a glass of water, before you gladly take some slow sips.
,,I'm good Delia, sorry for sleeping in'' you apologise. Her soft features meet yours as she shakes her head. ,,No need to be sorry sweetheart''.
The room fills with comfortable silence for a moment as you look around, Billie still lingering on the bed, Mina sitting in her armchair, glancing at you from time to time and Delia's soft features looking at you, hiding the concern mixed underneath the shadows.
,,What do you feel like baby? maybe a shower, a nice bath, some breakfast?'' Cordelia begins. Thinking about it for a moment, you decide on a shower wanting to freshen up a little.
As Cordelia passes you some towels and some comfortable clothes, Billie's eyes follow yours. ,,How about I join you babydoll?'' she smirks and as you smile shily at the medium, Cordelia simply shakes her head a little, half disapproving, half amused way. ,,Enough Billie Dean'' she scolds before you make your way into the bathroom.
The rest of the weekend was spent in the comfortable embrace of each other. The usual really, breakfast while watching a show, Delia working a little while Billie, Mina and you spent the afternoon in the living room, a bit of reading, knitting, quiet chatter. But most of all cuddles, Billie showered you in them all day, loving to have her babydoll closely. Wilhemina's hand always lingering on you somewhere, soaking in the warmth of your presence. And eventually as the sun started setting, the four of you in the comfortable embraces of each other, falling asleep softly.
----
The following week took you all back to the normality of your lives. Billie working, stuck in meetings most of the day, the same for Wilhemina, and Cordelia attending to the academy, in between teaching classes, taking care of paperwork and her witches she cared about so deeply. You had nothing to do this week however, you decided to take time off this week, not wanting to deal with anyone or anything.
As the day stretches on, you find yourself retreating further into the comfort of your own solitude, seeking solace in the familiarity of your own thoughts and emotions. With each passing hour, the outside world seems to fade away, leaving you alone with your thoughts, the only comfort being your headphones and the soft tunes, they provided as you stay under the covers, pulling them closer, hiding further.
For some reason, your three girlfriends didn't seem to notice at first. They assumed you had been busy, working, ignoring the fact you didn't talk to them in your lunch break or send any text messages, their own responsibilities and work catching up on them. However, as Wilhemina returns home one evening, greeting Billie and Cordelia as they prepared dinner, the weight of the day's responsibilities still heavy on her shoulders, she is surprised to find you in bed, curled up under the covers. As your back faces her, she doesn't realise anything unusual at first, assuming the day at work had simply tired you out.
As she makes her way back into the kitchen, she hesitates for a moment before asking ,,How long has she been home?'' the concern lingering on her features. ,,What do you mean Mina?'' Billie chuckles, laughing at something Cordelia had said seconds ago. She clears her throat before speaking up again ,,Y/N, she's in bed upstairs'' she explains as Billie's smile quickly fades and Cordelia's head snaps into the redheads direction.
The three of them quickly make their way to your shared bedroom, Delia's eyebrows furrow in confusion, her mind racing to connect the dots and unable to believe how she possibly missed this. Billie's eyes widen with realisation as she glances over at you, connecting the dots as she notices that you are still wearing the same clothes as when she left for work this morning.
"Wait a minute," she says, her voice tinged with worry. "She's been here all day?" the medium questions.
Cordelia and Wilhemina exchange a worried glance, the supreme wondering whether the events of this weekend may have anything to do with you hiding away all day, highly unusual as you wouldn't voluntarily spend all day in bed, especially without them.
Billie walks to the other end of the bed, the sound of soft music playing through your headphones, as she reaches for them gently, placing them on your bed side table. ,,Sweetie?'' she whispers, stroking your cheeks slightly. Your eyes flutter open and you smile noticing the presence in front of you. Suddenly it dawns on you, as your phone screen lights up from disconnecting the headphones, as you realise the time, your eyes widen, quickly sitting up.
Glancing around the room, you notice your other two girlfriends standing there, worried written in their features. ,,Shit'' you mutter, realising you spent all day in bed, not helping them with any tasks, despite their busy days. ,,Language little one'' Wilhemina teases, hoping to coax a little smile out of you, and indeed she manages a little smirk, despite your cheeks coated in a dark red as the embarrassment creeps up on you.
,,I'm so sorry'' you explain as anxiety washes over you but Cordelia is quick to step forward. ,,It's okay sweetie, you deserve rest too'' she reassures before the back of her hand makes its way to your forehead, checking for any signs of physical discomfort. ,,Would you like to join us for dinner?'' she asks gently and as you nod eagerly, the concern fades from their features, writing it off as you spending a day in bed and simply being tired.
Wilhemina notices something still on your mind as you hesitate a little. ,,What is it little one?'' she asks and is met with a set of puppy eyes meeting hers. ,,Would it be okay if I take a quick shower? I promise to be quick'' you ask nervously. Her features soften before Cordelia takes your hand into hers ,,Take all the time you need sweetie, we'll wait''.
,,What a shame, was hoping I could join'' Billie smirks and you can't help but chuckle a little before heading to the bathroom, soon after joining them for dinner.
----
As the week continues in it's monotonous path, you find yourself sinking deeper into the comfort of your solitude, retreating to the comfort of bed, the same playlist ringing through your ears on repeat. Despite their initial concern, the three of them brushed it off as figuring you needed a break from work and whenever they checked on you, you seemed fine, still joining them for dinners and your evenings together, which calmed Cordelia, knowing if you retreated completely it would be something to be concerned about.
However as midweek approaches, Billie decides to take matters into her own hands, after texting back and forth with Cordelia about you. Determined to break you out of your self imposed isolation, she decides to bring a spark of joy back into your life. And so, she decides to take the rest of the afternoon off, wanting to spoil her babydoll. As she opens the bedroom door, finding you in the all familiar spot, she finds you laying there, your eyes open but mind clearly occupied by something.
,,Hi there babydoll'' she startles you a little, as you quickly fade back into reality, pulling your headphones off and giving her your best smile.
Panic bubbles inside you, worried you missed an entire day but she quickly reassures ,,It's okay, I have got the afternoon off, get dressed for me baby, I want to take my pretty one out'' she declares, giggling a little with excitement.
,,Shit'' you think to yourself, not remotely feeling ready to leave the house after the events from this weekend and feeling your chest tightening at the thought of actually having to go somewhere. As the walls of the house became a shield against the outside world and all its uncertainties. Despite your best efforts to hide your fear, Billie senses your hesitation as usually you would be jumping around excitedly already by now.
,,If you don't feel like going anywhere, I have got all sorts of other plans, don't you worry'' she teases, quickly replacing your concerned features with a chuckle.
,,How about we finally have that shower hm?'' she teases, licking her lips and you can't help but feel the aching her words leave inside your stomach.
Unable to form any words, you simply nod and as she takes your hand, she gently guides you towards the bathroom. Her eyes sparkle with desire, not having had you all to herself for far too long. ,,How about you help mommy undress, kitten?'' she asks suggestively, leaving you gasping a little.
And of course you comply, helping her out of her heels, unbuttoning her trousers and pulling them off gently. However as you reach her shirt you can't help wanting to rip it off, she stops you though ,,nuh uh babydoll, one of my favourites'' she teases as she unbuttons it herself, making you watch.
You bite your lip, the image of Billie in front of you naked, causing you to squirm a little. Noticing your eagerness, she quickly helps you out of your clothes, before stepping in the shower, turning on the hot water and pulling you inside, pressing your body against the wall as she roams your body.
As the warm water cascades over your bodies, enveloping you in a cocoon of heat and steam, the tension that had been building up between you and Billie for days, reached its breaking point. With each touch, the desire that simmered beneath the surface grew stronger, igniting a fire that threatened to consume you yet again, your worries washing away with each droplet landing on your body and Billie's lips exploring your body.
Without a word, Billie presses you further against the cool tiles of the shower, her lips crashing against yours in a fierce kiss that leaves you breathless. The water droplets mingle with the taste of her skin, creating a heavy mixture that sends shivers of pleasure through your entire body.
,,How about you make mommy feel good, kitten?'' her hot breath on your ear. You simply nod, scanning her features, knowing exactly what she wanted. Switching positions, Billie's back makes contact with the cold tiles, as you kneel in front of her, keeping your eyes on her with each move.
As you finally kneel down to where she wants you the most, she parts her legs, silently begging for the release. Trailing kisses up her thighs, you reach her centre and without warning you take her clit into your mouth, leaving her a moaning mess, as her hands grip to your hair.
,,Right there kitten, doing so well'' she moans, holding onto you as her legs feel like giving out on her any second.
Moments later, still keeping her eyes on the medium you can feel her getting to where you wanted her. Using her closed eyelids to your advantage, you push two fingers inside her without warning. ,,Shit'' she curses under her breath, meeting your gaze still lingering on her.
,,Language Ms Howard'' you tease, causing Billie to smirk.
,,Keep going babydoll'' she pleads and being the good submissive you are, you comply pushing your fingers deeper and deeper, your tongue still exploring her and without warning you feel her release all over your mouth, all sorts of words flying from her mouth.
The water pounds against your skin like a symphony of ecstasy, as you make your way back to the medium, kissing her deeply as she explores her own taste on your tongue. ,,You're such a good girl'' she praises, moaning into you.
With each kiss you get lost in the whirlwind of pleasure, Billie switching you both over again, pushing you into the wall, her fingers quickly reaching your dripping centre. ,,Please'' you whimper as she parts your legs a little, quickly picking up the pace. Now the medium loved teasing you as well, however she could never deny you after doing so well for her before.
As you cling to her, holding on for dear life as your legs feel like giving in, the previous day slowly creeps its way back into your memory, reminding you how lazy you had been, how bad you had been for not leaving the house. However, your thoughts are quickly interrupted when the medium tips you over the edge, letting you ride out your high before she catches you into her arms, your legs feeling weak after the intense orgasm. ,,I've got you babydoll'' she murmurs, as you bury your head in her chest, your own breathing still heavy.
And if it hadn't been for the shower, Billie would have noticed your damp cheeks, water droplets quickly replaced by hot tears as the adrenaline and overwhelming feeling creeped up on you. ,,Let me take care of you'' she whispers as she leans you against the wall again, grabbing some shampoo and conditioner. As her soft acrylics softly rub the shampoo into your scalp you can't help but hum softly, the feeling sending little shivers down your back.
The next few minutes you feel in a daze, not really aware of your surroundings, as Billie softly washes your hair for you, caressing your skin and taking care of her babydoll. And as you open your eyes again the next time, you find yourself in the comfort of Wilhemina's armchair in the bedroom, a set of comfortable pjs hugging your body and a blanket wrapped around you. The sound of the hairdryer causes you to jolt a little but as you feel Billie's hands on your scalp again, drying your hair gently, you smile before closing your eyes contently.
As the evenings descends, casting a soft glow over the cozy dining room, the four of you gathered around the table for dinner, after Billie coaxed you out of your daze before, helping you out of Wilhemina's armchair and guiding you downstairs. Despite the warmth of the room and the comforting aroma of the meal that Cordelia had prepared, there was a sense of unease lingering on your features, the exhaustion weighing heavily on your shoulders. Mixed with the thoughts of doubt, for having spent another day mostly in bed.
Wilhemina glances over at you, concern etched into her features as she notices the weariness in your eyes. ,,Are you feeling alright, little one?'' she asks, her voice filled with genuine concern as she reaches out to gently squeeze your hand.
You manage a weak smile, though it threatened to falter slightly under the weight of your fatigue. "I'm just a bit tired," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper as you try to shake off the exhaustion that clung to you like a heavy cloak, while taking another bite.
Cordelia, ever perceptive, furrows her brow in concern as she studies your expression. "You seem more than just tired," she observes, her voice tinged with worry. "Is everything okay?"
You hesitate for a moment, unsure of how to put your feelings into words, as you glance over at the medium, a smirk playing on her features remembering the intimacy from a few hours ago.
Billie, seated across from you, lets out a soft chuckle, her eyes sparkling with mischief as she leans in closer. "Maybe I shouldn't have worn you out so much earlier," she teases, a playful grin tugging at the corners of her lips.
But before you can respond, Cordelia's angry glare cuts through the air, a disapproving look on her features. ,,What?'' Billie shrugs, not sharing the supremes concern, Wilhemina simply observing, unsure whether the blonde was simply a little overly concerned about the situation.
,,She needs rest Billie, not further tiring out'' the blonde scolds, causing for Billie's expression to soften, a hint of guilt creeping into her features as she glances at you. ,,I'm sorry for tiring you out babydoll'' she apologies sincerely.
The weight of Cordelia's words only seems to add to your exhaustion, the last thing you wanted was them arguing now, sending a wave of anxiety through your veins. As your leg begins bouncing up and down, you take a deep breath, which doesn't go unnoticed by the redhead sitting next to you.
,,Have you finished little one?'' she asks softly before you give her a nod, her words pulling you back into the present. As you simply nod, suddenly your eyes pleading with the redheads. ,,Come on, I'll take you upstairs'' she suggests, before taking your hand and leading you to the safety of your shared bedroom.
"I just wanted to take care of her" Billie mumbles, before reaching for everyones plates, walking over to the dishwasher.
,,I initially wanted to take her out somewhere but she didn't seem to want to leave the house and so one thing led-'' she explains before Cordelia cuts her off. ,,I know love, I'm sorry'' she apologises, feeling bad about her little outburst. As words of apologizes are spoken, the two of them exchange a little moment.
However, Cordelia makes a mental note, finding it unusual that you hesitated to leave the house, usually excited at any opportunity to go anywhere with them, especially Billie adventures. As the two blondes head upstairs, the supreme can't help but slowly connect the dots, your panic attack, taking the week off, not leaving the house or bed much.
----
As the week draws to a close, you find yourself sinking deeper into the abyss of your own despair, the days stretching on in a never-ending cycle of emptiness and solitude. Despite your best efforts to find solace in the safety of your bed, the familiar comfort of its embrace only served to exacerbate the sense of isolation that weighed heavily on your soul.
But Cordelia, ever perceptive and attuned to your needs, slowly senses the depths of your despair, refusing to let you drown in it. With gentle determination, she finds you curled up in bed, your back turned away, the familiar sound of music to be heard. Through her senses she could tell that you aren't asleep, simply wasting away in the comfort of your bed.
"Come on, love," she murmurs her voice soft and coaxing as she gently tugs at your hand, urging you to rise from the depths of your despair. "You can't stay in bed forever. It's time to come back to the world and us again."
But the thought of leaving the safety and familiarity of your bed fills you with a sense of overwhelming dread, the outside world a daunting and unfamiliar landscape that seemed to hold nothing but pain, anxiety and uncertainty.
However, you know Cordelia can't be easily fooled or pleased, the way you had managed with your other two girlfriends. You face an inner battle, not wanting to leave bed but at the same time not wanting to make it harder for your girlfriends, sensing they are starting to catch on.
"I can't," you want to explain as you cling to the safety of your blankets, the weight of your despair pressing down on you like a suffocating blanket. "I'm not ready'' your head reminds you.
Cordelia senses your hesitation, however refusing to be deterred, her determination unwavering as she continues to coax you gently, her words a soothing balm against the raw edges of your despair.
,,Okay'' you mumble, feeling a little angry with her as to why she couldn't simply leave you alone.
,,That's my good girl'' she praises, as she takes you to her office, placing a warm cup of tea into your palms.
As you sit on the sofa in her office, she watches your every move, not wanting to press you about the subject too much, glad she can at least be close to you to observe and take care. Fiddling with your hands, you feel nervous under her gaze, unsure what to do with yourself and suddenly feeling incredibly guilty.
,,Can I help you with anything?'' you eventually coax out, your voice quiet and fiddling with the sleeves of your oversized hoodie.
,,No no darling'' she reassures, glancing up from her laptop. There was genuinely nothing the supreme needed help with, as she got everything mostly sorted for the week, leading towards the weekend.
The room fills with silence, the only noises to be heard, the clicking of her keyboard, writing some emails and working on teaching. Feeling a little awkward and useless, you try to make some conversation.
,,Do we have any plans for the weekend?'' you ask her, drawing her attention towards you again with a gentle smile.
,,Other than tomorrow I don't think so sweetheart'' she reassures before the daunting idea of date night consumes your thoughts. The slight mention of it, takes you back to the week prior. Your thoughts race, unsure whose turn it was and whether that meant having to go out anywhere.
,,Wh-what are we gonna do?'' you ask hesitantly, hiding your trembling hands as well as the tremble in your voice.
,,I haven't decided yet sweetheart, anything specific you would like?'' she asks, typing away on her computer.
,,Hide'' the panic voice in your head tells you as you feel the waves of a panic attacks slowly approach.
Silence fills the room, and as Cordelia glances up from her computer, she finds your trembling state, tears threatening to spill from your beautiful eyes.
,,Sweetie?'' she calls out gently, abandoning her work and walking over to you.
,,I- can I go please?'' you call out, suddenly on your feet as you want nothing more than to run away.
Before the supreme can protest you are already out of the room, hysterically running down the hallway, needing to flee unable to be confronted by the blonde about it. Sometimes the worrying, gentleness was too much, especially when she connected the dots before you did, knowing and being able to read you so well at this point.
In your panicked state, you don't know where to go, knowing she would immediately find you in the bedroom, greenhouse or any predictable spots of comfort. ,,Mina'' you remember, her being at her work today, which means her office should be quiet and giving you momentarily some relieve as the panic continues to haunt you, following with each step you took away from the supreme and her office.
Your heart bangs against your chest angrily, and so with trembling hands you burst into your redhead girlfriends office, managing to at least shut the door quietly before retreating to a quiet corner, curling up into a ball and rocking yourself back and forth, leaning against the wall, your kneels pulled to your chest. However, in your panicked state, you are known to be unaware of your surroundings, not realising the time again and how long it actually took for Cordelia to coax you out of bed before, Wilhemina had returned home a little while ago, wanting to finish one last email before joining you and Cordelia.
The redhead sits in shock for a moment, observing your panicked state and the way you entered her office without even realising her presence. Her heart aches, seeing you like this, so vulnerable, alone and sad. ,,Little one?'' she calls out, as she balances on her cane and begins walking over. The sudden noises startles you as your eyes force open, instantly getting up from the floor, the shame of the whole thing consuming you whole. ,,I'm s- sorry Mina, I didn't realise'' you coax out in between cries, hyperventilating as panic washes over you again.
,,Run'' the panic voice tells you before you try to leave, leaving a very confused Wilhemina, following behind you, yet to understand what's going on with her little one. However as you open the door, you run into the supreme, your body hitting against her own as you stumble backwards, the fear and panic finally having the upper-hand and causing you to lose control.
,,Sweetheart'' Cordelia calls out and as you continue to tumble backwards, you suddenly feel your vision blurring before two arms wrap around you from behind.
''Hey, I've got you" Wilhemina's voice cuts through the chaos, her arms a reassuring embrace as she holds you close, her own heart racing with concern for you. But even as she speaks, she could feel the tremors wracking your body, the weight of your despair pressing down on you like a leaden weight.
Cordelia's voice joins hers, her tone filled with love and compassion as she kneels beside you, her hands gentle as they brush away the tears that are beginning to stain your cheeks. "You're safe, breathe sweetheart" she whispers, her voice a soothing melody in the storm of your emotions. "We're here for you, sweetheart. You're not alone."
But despite their comforting words and reassuring touch, you feel as though you are drowning in a sea of despair, the weight of your own thoughts and feelings threatening to drag you under. With each passing moment, the darkness seems to close in around you, suffocating you with its suffocating embrace.
And then, with one last desperate gasp, you lose consciousness, surrendering to the darkness that engulfs you.
,,Shit'' Cordelia curses, taking you into her arms, relieving Wilhemina of the weight as she held you up. The supreme takes gentle yet urgent steps as she takes you to Wilhemina's armchair, in the corner of her office. As she sets you down, she grabs the little lilac stool, resting your tired legs on them. With a flick of her wrist she lights the fireplace, reaching for a blanket and wrapping it around you. Her slightly trembling hands reach for your forehead, your wrists to check your pulse after.
,,What's wrong with her?'' Wilhemina's voice cuts through the quiet room before Cordelia turns to her. ,,It's a panic attack'' the supreme explains before the redheads eyebrows furrow. ,,Again?'' Wilhemina asks, remembering the weekend prior. ,,I'm afraid so'' the blonde replies before her guilty eyes meet the redheads.
,,What is it darling?'' Wilhemina asks, noticing the tears lingering in Cordelia's eyes. ,,It's my fault'' she admits, her gaze averting the redheads and meeting your fragile state. She knows that Cordelia would have never willingly triggered or pushed you, so she simply steps forward, her cane hitting on the floor, before taking her hand. ,,What happened love?'' she asks, much softer now.
,,I dragged her out of bed and made her stay in my office, she asked me about our plans this weekend and I guess that must have triggered it, considering the last weekend. I just had no idea how bad this all was and how much she has been struggling with it'' Cordelia explains now under tears.
,,Hey hey it's okay, you did your best, it's not your fault'' Wilhemina reassures before stroking the blondes shoulder, caressing her cheeks in a gentle way before Cordelia melts into her touch.
After a moment of silence, the door swings open, the sound of heels echoing through the large office. ,,Hey ther-'' Billie starts, excitedly at first but her smile quickly vanishes as she sees your state. ,,Whats wrong?'' she asks, her eyes meeting two sets of brown ones, the concern matching in each set.
,,It's okay Billie, she had a panic attack but she's stable'' Cordelia coos, walking over to the medium and greeting her in a reassuring hug. Billie Dean frowns, hating to see her babydoll in any sign of discomfort. ,,Poor baby'' she coos, kneeling down beside you resting her hands on your knees, rubbing soothing circles to comfort you, despite your sleeping unconscious state.
,,She's afraid to leave the house'' Wilhemina admits, finally understanding the events of the past week.
,,We need to help her, we should take her out tomorrow and try'' Billie suggests but Cordelia quickly shakes her head.
,,We have to do this the right way'' she admits, remembering her own struggles with anxiety especially in her younger years.
,,I see, how about we stay in tomorrow then? cook something nice for her and watch her favourite movie?'' the medium suggests and is quickly met with a compassionate and approving smile from her blonde girlfriend.
,,Would either of you be okay to stay with her for a minute?'' ,,I want to make us some food, so poor darling can eat'' Cordelia asks, before Wilhemina is quick to reply.
,,I'll stay'' meeting the mediums eyes, before she adds ,,I'll help you Delia''. Wilhemina nods thankfully, appreciating the moments where she gets to take care of her little one.
A little while later you stir from your unconscious state, feeling the gentle presence of someone in the room. Opening your eyes, you find yourself still in the armchair where Delia had left you, with Wilhemina sitting beside you, her gaze filled with concern and love.
,,Hey there little one'' Wilhemina coos gently, her hand reaching out to gently brush the hair from your forehead. ,,How are you feeling?'' she asks gently, not wanting to overwhelm you.
You take a moment to gather your thoughts, the events of the day swirling in your mind like a storm. "I'm okay, I think," you murmur, your voice barely above a whisper as you try to make sense of the jumble of emotions inside you. ,,I'm so sorry for all of that'' you apologise, guilt consuming you for having them see your weakness.
Wilhemina nods understandingly, her eyes full of empathy as she takes your hand in hers. "I know things have been tough lately," she says gently. "But I want you to know that you don't have to go through it alone. I'm here for you, always."
,,And little one?'' she asks, her eyes searching for yours as she tilts her head a little. ,,I never want you to apologise about these sort of things, I don't want you to keep it from us'' she reassures.
Her words warm your heart, a glimmer of hope flickering in the darkness that has clouded your mind for so long. "Thank you," you whisper, a tear slipping down your cheek as you lean into her comforting embrace.
After a moment of quiet , Wilhemina speaks again, her voice filled with determination. "How about we go for a walk in the gardens?" she suggests, a hint of excitement in her tone. "It might do us both some good to get some fresh air and stretch our legs."
You hesitate for a moment, the thought of leaving the safety of the house sending a shiver of anxiety down your spine. But Wilhemina's reassuring presence gives you the courage to take that first step, to step out of your comfort zone and face the world once more.
With a nod, you agree, allowing Wilhemina to lead you by the hand as the two of you make your way out into the gardens. And as you walk hand in hand, surrounded by the beauty of nature and the warmth of Wilhemina's love, you feel a sense of peace settle over you, knowing that no matter what challenges may lie ahead, you will face them together, hand in hand, heart to heart.
,,Are you feeling okay little one?'' she asks, noticing how tight you are holding onto her hand. ,,Yes, just a little scary'' you admit. She gives you an emphatic but proud smile. ,,I know little one but I have got you, always'' she reassures again.
,,Delia?'' Billie gets her attention, her tone sounding serious as the supreme sees the mediums face, eyes filled with tears. ,,What is it love?'' she asks before Billie points out the window.
Watching from the window, Cordelia and Billie share a bittersweet smile, their hearts filled with love and pride as they witness the strength and resilience of their beloved. And as you and Wilhemina disappear into the garden, their love for you only grows stronger, a beacon of hope in the darkness that has been surrounding you lately.
,,Look at her'' Cordelia murmurs softly, her voice filled with love and adoration. ,,She's so strong'' she adds, tears blinking in her eyes.
,,Yeah'' Billie agrees, on the brim of tears. ,,She's stronger than she knows''
As they continue to watch you, Cordelia and Billie are filled with a sense of hope, knowing that you are not alone in your journey. ,,We will be okay'' Cordelia eventually mumbles as Billie leans her head on the supremes shoulder.
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