#as long as you put in the order before the 8th

[systemrestart]

For those unaware, the deadline to order 4 free Covid-19 tests in the US is March 8th. So if you haven't already claimed your free tests, do it now!!

[sugarnspice630]

Mr. Mingi - Mingi

“You poor thing. I would feel sorry for you, but I don’t really. You did this to yourself, remember?”

•pairing: wonka!mingi x fem!reader (ft. Hongjoong & Yunho)

•word count: 3.3k

•tags: aphrodisiac gum, mingi wonka, exhibitionism, slutty reader, horny hongjoong and yunho, pretty much follows the plot of charlie and the chocolate factory-iykyk...did I miss anything? probably

Summary: You're invited to Mr. Mingi's factory for the grand tour of the building and while you're exploring, he decides to test you and it ends with a good, not so good, consequence.

A/N: A long time in the making, but it's finally here. I gave up on the smut part and just decided to drop this fic cause I wanted to move on from it. If anyone wants to continue the smut for me, please feel free to do so, just make sure you tag me in the results. Please be sure to drop a like, reblog if you enjoyed it, and comment your favorite part! Happy reading!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆───

You were the lucky winner! You won the chance to tour Mr. Mingi’s famous candy factory. It had been a lifelong dream of yours and now it was finally your chance. Of course you weren’t the only winner; there were 7 other winners as well, making you the 8th winner, and the last person to have been announced as the winner too. It was public news that the lucky candidates got to tour his factory. You were beyond excited. You started to prepare everything you needed the week before the big day.

The day finally arrived and you showed up in the cutest outfit. Planned carefully and to taste, cause you knew how Mr. Mingi liked it. Plus being the only woman to win the prize, you had to stand out to him. Yes, you thought this crazed candy maker was attractive and the hopes of getting his attention thrilled you to death. You stood before the gates along with the other winners. Greeting and congratulating each other while you waited for Mr. Mingi to make his appearance. Their names respectively in the order you met them: Seonghwa, Jongho, Wooyoung, Yunho, Hongjoong, Yeosang, and San. The news broadcasters came by and interviewed you really quick for national TV. You made sure to put your charm on for the camera so you left a good impression on the people. The crowd starts cheering and you see the gates opening up. A huge smile plastered on your face as Mr. Mingi makes his way down the giant walkway to come greet you all before letting you into his factory. 

Mingi makes it to the gates you are standing near, his charm is undeniable. He gives his big introduction speech before making his way down the line to personally greet each of the winners. You were standing at the very end of the line. Anxiously waiting your turn and watching Mr. Mingi with the biggest of heart eyes. It’s finally your turn and he glides over to where you are standing. Glancing at you up and down really quick then reaching for your hand. He takes your hand in his, bows down slightly, still making eye contact with you and brings your hand towards his mouth.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Miss. Y/N. You look exceptionally good my darling.” He coos under his breath before gently kissing the top of your hand and letting it gently fall back to your side. You were stunned that the Mr. Mingi just kissed your hand and basically called you hot. You were certain you were blushing like crazy, but you smiled softly at him in return and thanked him for this amazing opportunity. He returned your smile before making his way back to the center of the group to continue his speech before letting you in.

–

The tour had been going on for a while now. Somehow you had lost some of the other winners along the way and there were about 3 of you left, including you. You’re not sure where they ended up, selfishly, they were the least of your worries right now. You were only focused on winning Mr. Mingi over, so you promised yourself to be on your best behavior the entire trip. The remaining winners were Hongjoong and Yunho. You had made your way into a room that was very spacious and had a bunch of different huge machines with bubbling liquid in the top. All the machines had a different color liquid.

“Mr. Mingi, I have a question.” You spoke up, curious about all the different colors and what they meant.

“Yes Y/N! Go right ahead.” He responded in a chipper voice and turned to face you, resting his hands on his cane in front of him. Distracted by your perverted thoughts on what he could do with the cane to you and the way he looked with the leather vest, accentuating every small detail about his chest and upper body. You snapped yourself out of your thoughts after you heard him clear his throat, clearly aware of your daydreaming.

“S-sorry! Got distracted. Um, what do the different colors in the machines do?”

“No worries for the distraction; it’s quite easy to get lost in a place like this. So as you can see, these machines all have a different color in them. These different colors all represent an emotion that humans can feel. For example, blue is obviously sadness, yellow represents happiness, and red is for anger.” He gestures to the different machines with the corresponding color with his cane. “I’m working on a new prototype actually! It’s a type of gum that can help humans feel emotions. There are a lot of people that have trouble expressing themselves in a way that is easier for others to understand, so with the help of this new invention, we can make the world a better place!” 

You were swooned by the enthusiasm in his voice. You could tell he deeply loved his craft and poured his heart and soul into everything he did. Oftentimes you find yourself unable to express how you were feeling, or just did not know how to feel a certain emotion, so this invention truly could help people like you, or even those who might unfortunately feel sad all the time, they can use the happiness emotion and their troubles will be lifted away. You caught yourself smiling like a fool at him and had to snap yourself out of it. 

“Feel free to look around and check out how it’s made!” He waved his arm towards the crowd and then towards the machines, allowing you to disperse. Hongjoong and Yunho took off in a hurry to examine the machines. You, on the other hand, took your time examining the room and all the different shades of colors. Not knowing what each color means or what they represent. Soon the sound of a machine roaring filled your ears and you turned around to see the machine that was behind you was starting to make something. You quickly walked over to it to watch it do its thing. The machine was roaring and shooting out steam as you watched the arm at the front swing out and dispense what looked like normal chewing gum, with a slight pinkish hue. You walked to the front of the machine and picked out the piece it just dispensed. Watching so intently, you almost didn’t notice that Mr. Mingi had walked over to where you were.

“I wouldn’t try that one if I were you” He said from behind you, causing you to jump slightly as you were not expecting him to be there.

“Why? You said we could check things out. What’s so bad about it?”

“Well, you can try it, just maybe not here right now.”

“Just tell me what it is then.” You couldn’t help the defensive nature coming out of you, but you truly just wanted to have it your way. You knew Mr. Mingi would not approve of this behavior, but curiosity was eating at you, and now that he told you not to, you wanted to. 

“See if you can figure it out, since you seem to be so smart. Don’t let me stop you.” His stone cold expression brought a chill to your spine, and you thought maybe you should lighten up on the bratty act, but you couldn’t help it. You felt yourself blush, slightly intimidated by how he was looking at you. Curiosity eventually took over and you popped the piece of gum into your mouth. You chewed it carefully, really trying to take in the flavor profile and decipher what this emotion or feeling was. He playfully hummed as he leaned closer to you and tilted his head to the side, staring deep into your eyes and with a soft smirk. You wanted to show up Mr. Mingi and get this right for him. He was watching you intently, monitoring your mouth as it moved around, then glancing up to your eyes to see if you had any idea.

“It might take a while to truly take effect. You’ll feel it, trust me,” He placed his hand on your shoulder and gave it a soft rub before leaning into your ear and whispering, “and I’m not responsible for the consequences.” He took his hand off your shoulder and left to go find the others. You shot him a confused look while you were still chewing. This gum had you all kinds of confused. There was nothing happening and you were feeling no change. Forgetting for a second, it was a prototype, so there could be some minor kinks he still had to work out.

“Alright dreamers, let’s move onto the next room!” Mr. Mingi had shouted from across the room and was near the next door to continue the tour. You made your way over to the door with the others, still feeling no effect from the piece of gum. Hongjoong took notice of your mouth moving up and down and shot you a surprise look.

“Ya, Y/N did you steal that?” He whispered towards you to not let Yunho hear.

“No! Mr. Mingi let me have it..sorta.” You whispered back to Hongjoong as you continued walking to the next place.

“He sorta let you have it?”

“I was watching the machine make it and he told me not to try it, but I was curious so I did it anyway. He told me to try to figure out what it does, but to be honest, it’s not really doing anything.”

“Hm, interesting. Seems to be a dud product anyway.” He softly giggled at the failure of this invention. You giggled back to not be rude, but you had hopes in it. Mr. Mingi was a crazy genius, but still a genius.

As you started to make your way towards the next room, your body started to feel extremely hot. You felt like you were sweating and your skin looked red. You assumed that it was just the hallway you all happened to be in, but when you looked around at the others, they seemed to not be bothered. You tried to dismiss the feeling, but the temperature only seemed to increase. Eventually you had to take your jacket off. It made your outfit, but at this point you would rather be comfortable than suffering. Thankfully you had a tank top underneath your jacket to cover you up. When you looked down to tie your jacket around your waist, you noticed that your nipples were protruding through your bra and the tank top. Embarrassed at the discovery because you were hot and not cold, so why were your nipples erect? In between your legs felt weak and wet. You figured it was the sweat from your body being so warm. Your heart was racing and you could hardly focus. As Mr. Mingi was talking about the next room, your brain was filled with all these dirty thoughts of him. How hot it would be if you were underneath him, begging him to please you, then he would take you by the hips and thrust himself inside of you.

“Y/N, you okay?” You were snapped out of your thoughts by Yunho’s voice calling out to you. You looked over at him quickly and tried to pass off that you were thinking perverse things.

“Huh? Y-yeah I’m fine w-why?” You bit your lip softly on the inside, the effect Yunho’s raspy voice had on you suddenly driving you insane.

“Um…well you’re uh-“ He cut his own sentence off and directed his attention towards your legs. 

You looked down at yourself and found your legs were crossed and you were rubbing them together, unknowingly. There was a small wet patch right in your crotch seeping through the front of your pants. Your face immediately got red and embarrassed was an understatement. Did you just piss yourself? Absolutely not! That would be humiliating to do in front of these people, especially Mr. Mingi. After looking down at yourself and using your hand to cover the wet patch, you looked up at Mr. Mingi and he was just smirking at you. His head tilted back and to the side, gazing at you through hooded eyes. His hands resting on his cane in front of him yet again, driving you up the wall. 

“Y/N, what’s going on with you?” Hongjoong asked you as he walked over to you and placed the back of his hand on your forehead.

“N-no don’t-.“ As Hongjoong touched your forehead, you let out a small whimper. Your body was aching for someone to touch you. Hongjoong was shocked at your whimper and backed away softly from you. You tilted your head down in embarrassment.

“Well Y/N..have you figured it out yet?” Mr. Mingi called out to you in a deep tone, directing your attention to him yet again. His voice made you whimper again, feeling small at the way he was gazing towards you.

“Mr. Mingi, what did you give her?” Hongjoong looked at him confused and also worried for your well being. 

“Well my dear friends, the particular piece of gum that Y/N decided to selfishly take from my machine, was a special kind of gum.” He paused his sentence, really letting the humiliation set in that you decided to be a brat and do whatever you wanted instead of listening to him. “If you took notice of the color of the machine, you’d notice it was pink. You may ask yourself, what does the pink mean? Well my curious folks, the pink color is meant to represent sexual urges. That particular gum was mixed with aphrodisiacs.” Mr. Mingi finished this sentence with the cockiest smile on his face. You felt like you were going to explode. Your body is aching in ways it’s never ached before. The wetness is still pooling in between your legs. Your breasts felt extremely taut and full.

“Mr. Mingi, what is an aphrodisi- whatever you said?” Yunho questioned since Hongjoong was preoccupied looking at you.

“Hm, uncultured are we? That’s alright. An aphrodisiac is a substance alleged to increase libido, which is your sexual drive. Quite interesting isn’t it?” Mr. Mingi took this opportunity to walk over to you and get right into your face. You were beyond humiliated but incredibly turned on. He stared down at you with the same shit-eating grin. “You just couldn’t listen could you? I told you not to, and now look at you, so pathetic and miserable.”

“Mr-Mr. Mingi.”  You whine out to him, desperation in your voice. He made his way around you stopping at your back, placing his hands gently on your shoulders and leaning down.

“You poor thing. I would feel sorry for you, but I don’t really. You did this to yourself, remember?” As he said this, he traced the bottom of your chin with his finger and held onto your face softly. You were afraid to make any more explicit noise in front of the other guys, but the way Mingi was touching you mixed with the aphrodisiac just made it incredibly difficult. You whimpered as you leaned your head back into his shoulder, showing off your neck to him. He glanced down at you and the sight before him was truly an amazing one. You were practically panting against him, your face flushed red and your pupils dilated fully.

“This must be taken care of at once. Otherwise the side effects are just going to get…much worse.” Mingi turned towards the others, which were staring at you in shock. They seemed to also be interested in the soft sounds you were making as you noticed Hongjoong was biting his lip and holding his hands in front of himself, presumably to cover his hard on. Yunho’s face was flushed red and his eyes were glued on your form. You were still wiggling around in Mingi’s grasp, rubbing your thighs together to create friction and gasping for air in between the moans you were letting out.

“M-Mingi, p-please help me.” You exhaust gripping onto him for dear life.

“Begging for me to help you? In front of everyone? Are you that desperate?”

“Mmmhh, please!” You cry out, the pressure in your stomach building more and more. Mingi looked at you for a few seconds before returning a smirk back at you.

“Fine, but they only get to watch.”

With a snap of his fingers, his helpers appeared out of nowhere. You had hardly seen them the whole trip and now suddenly, a bed was wheeled out towards where you and Mr. Mingi were standing. Hongjoong and Yunho had chairs that appeared behind them that when they sat down, it strapped their legs and arms to the chair so they couldn’t move.

“H-hey! What the-?” Hongjoong exclaimed loudly, confused as to what was happening right now.

“Sorry my friends, just a precautionary measure so that I can take care of Y/N myself. After all, this is my experiment, so I would know the best ways to fix it~.” 

You heard one of the males mutter curses under their breath. Your eyes were only focused on Mingi. Mingi gave his cane to one of the helpers at his side and directed his full attention towards you. He started to walk slowly towards you and you backed away from him. Eventually bumping into the bed that was placed behind you and Mingi cornered you at the edge. 

“Get on it.” Mingi commanded and you quickly obeyed. You raised yourself up onto the bed, sitting on the edge and Mingi towered over top of you. He was much taller in real life than you had expected. You crawled backwards onto the bed and Mingi only followed you further onto it, crawling towards you as well. The two of you kept eye contact the whole time. Your heart was racing and you couldn’t tell if it was from the drug, or from the fact that Mr. Mingi was on top of you, getting ready to punish you. “You poor thing. You so desperately need to be relieved, don’t you?”

“P-Please-.” You whimper out, but you’re not sure what you’re begging for.

“I’ll take care of you darling, just relax for me~.” He took one hand and tenderly rubbed your cheek. You couldn’t see your face, but you knew you were looking up at Mingi with your pupils fully dilated. Biting the inside of your lip as he took his hand that was on your face and trailed it down to the tank top you had on. He slowly pulled the neckline of your tank top down, revealing your dainty bra you put on for the day. “Did you seriously dress up like a whore for this on purpose?”

“N-No I-.” You stuttered out, the effect of the aphrodisiac almost being too much to handle at this point.

“Don’t fucking lie to me Y/N. I know you wanted me the moment you walked into this building today.” His big hand pulled the rest of your tank top off your body and snapped your bra clasp apart, letting your boobs fall free. “To be honest, I’ve been wanting a taste of you myself~.” He leaned down into your neck and softly nipped and kissed at the skin there. You moaned out at the sensation and wrapped your legs around his waist. Tilting your head to the side, forgetting about the two other people that were in the room, but the look on their faces was unforgettable. Their flushed faces, the way they were biting their lips, their poor bodies begging to be free so they could take care of their problem downstairs. You felt this hand grab your face and push it back.

“Are you seriously staring at them when I’m right here making you feel this good?”

“S-sorry Mr. Mingi- I-I won’t-.” Your words were cut off by Mingi shoving his hand down your bottoms and roughly inserting two fingers into your core. “Holy fuck!” You cried out.

“Now I got your attention.

Tags: @pre1ttyies@isiloiale@moongoddess1982@xuchiya@myloveforyunho @ywtfvs @meowmeeps @tinyelfperson @httpseungmxn @acupoftaewithsomesuga @tiredlittlevirgo @no1likevie @arki-sha @yeosangsbbg @skzooluvr @beabatiny @fireseo @peechypeach @lemon-sage17 @londonbridges01 @fixon-ash @strawlix @winklehwa @fancyglam24

[caturnmoon]

Astrology Observations #6️⃣

♍️ Happy Virgo Season!! ♍️

🌱Virgo rising is a super underrated beauty placement in my opinion. Virgo is ruled by the maiden archetype, and physical hallmarks attributed to Virgo are that soft, doe eyed, effortless beauty for women and boyish good looks for men. They take pride in their wellness routines unless the chart indicates otherwise, and cleanliness and grooming take priority too. They always have this effortlessly put together beauty about them. Queens of the “clean girl” aesthetic. A lot of celebrities and models have heavy Virgo influence. Ex: Brooke Shields, Blake Lively, Beyonce

🌱Mercury Pluto aspects and always feeling like their mind is a scary place to be. They can struggle with mental health in general, but can also have AMAZING laser lock focus too. The expression, “You can do anything you set your mind to.” definitely comes to mind at its most positively expressed.

🌱Having the asteroid Fama in Virgo could indicate being famous/well-known for anything that you’re really good at. Virgo’s are known for their attention to detail and work ethics, so depending on the house it’s placed in, this area could be a natural talent for you and something you’re “famous” for.

🌱Gemini over the 6th house could indicate multiple jobs and not holding one job down for too long due to boredom. You need constant mental stimulation, so if your work doesn’t provide this, then you’ll be looking for the next best thing elsewhere. Creating a podcast could really appeal to you as well since Gemini rules oral communication. You’re most likely known as phenomenal multi-tasker in your everyday life and routines!

🌱Part of fortune in the 6th house could bless you with wonderful health and longevity. You probably don’t get sick that often and heal quickly too.

🌱Scorpio moons no matter how extroverted they may be if their chart supports this, value privacy over everything. They feel most secure when their privacy is respected and made top priority. If it’s in the 8th, 4th or 12th houses then this is even more emphasized. Needs solitude to decompress.

🌱Look to what phase the moon was in when you were born as well for added elements to your chart! I interpret the phase in correlation to my moon sign and the nature of it. it makes a lot of sense. I’m an Aries moon born during a waxing gibbous moon; the cusp before the full moon. Aries is fiery, assertive, and headstrong ready to charge forward. Waxing gibbous moons symbolize consolidating gains, moving forward and preparing for forward momentum before the full moon.

🌱Have a lot of 7th house activity? Your focus is developing (and learning what it takes to maintain) relationships in this lifetime. Give and take, compromise, and boundaries will be repeated themes and lessons for you to learn this time around.

🌱Having the 22nd degree (the Capricorn “kill or be killed” degree) can indicate immense potential for success and notoriety. In my opinion, this can be a very underrated fame degree.

🌱Having the rectangle pattern in your natal chart can indicate a strong pull towards making a difference in the world and being given all of the tools in order to make that happen while you’re here. This pattern is rare, and is made up of two oppositions connected with two trines and two sextiles. These aspects support and complement each other providing stability necessary to fulfill your life purpose and calling with relative ease.

🌱Pisces Mercury could have such profound imaginations and thrive at communicating through creativity of any kind. Keeping a dream journal may be beneficial for you too!

Until next time!!🖖🏼👽

[blurredcolour]

IV. “I Trust You Know What You’re Doing?”

"Trust" Series Masterlist

John "Bucky" Egan x WAC!Female Reader

Struggling with the forced separation of your transfer and promotion, it does not take long for you and Bucky to plan a trip to London together. But even while you're on leave, the world around you continues to do its best to tear itself apart.

Warnings: Language, Grief, Alcohol Consumption, Angst, Inevitable Historical and Military Inaccuracies, Mature/Explicit Themes [oral - f receiving, implied virginity loss, protected vaginal sex, condoms, unprotected vaginal sex, multiple orgasms] - 18+ ONLY.

Author’s Note: Welcome to this massive installment. I have no excuses, only apologies. Also I only had the fortitude to proof this once, there may be more errors than normal, but I didn't want to delay it any longer - I will correct things as I find them. This is a work of fiction based off the portrayal by the actors in the Apple TV+ series. I hold nothing but respect for the real life individuals referenced within.

ETA: The image descriptions for the letters contain the text within to allow for a screen reader or anyone who cannot read cursive. Click the ‘ALT’ button to access.

Word Count: 8497

-------------------------

Wycombe Abbey could not have been more different than Thorpe Abbotts if it had tried.

The private, or in a most confusing twist ‘public’ as the Brits called such institutions, girls’ school had begun its life in the 17th century as a manor house before being transformed into a much grander residence near the end of the 19th century. The school had opened in 1896 with only forty students, but that number had swelled to over two hundred by the time the building was requisitioned for use as the Headquarters of the 8th Air Force.

Stained glass windows, stonework, archways, and wood panelling now replaced squat concrete buildings and rough-and-ready Nissen huts. Though everything was just as drafty, so at least the temperature provided some familiar consistency to your new surroundings. As you descended from your quarters tucked away in some forgotten corner of the attic, down a set of precarious servants’ stairs, you nearly took a wrong turn – again. To your credit you had only been here three days and the maze of corridors and rooms further divided into offices for USAAF purposes was nearly unnavigable.

Chiding yourself softly under your breath that your office was to the right and not the left, as though the sharpness of your tone might really drive it home this time, you quickened your steps still hoping to beat to postal clerk to the outgoing mail box that sat on the corner of your desk. It had been more of a challenge than you were expecting to write the letter clutched in your hand, but the daily meetings that senior operations officers held at 1015, 1600, and 2200 were your responsibility to attend and record via frantically scribbled notes to be typed up in a more professional format later.

These were the meetings at which mission targets for the entire 8th were chosen. The strategic value of various locations was discussed alongside weather reports and aligning with the RAF’s Bomber Command for maximum impact against Nazi Germany. After the first meeting, it would be decided if a mission would even be conducted the following day, and each Division, Wing, and Base involved would be put on alert to allow them time to begin planning the operation. By the time the last meeting ended, the target and approach would be finalized, and the official field orders would be issued.

It made for a remarkably long day, even with breaks for meals, and though you were guaranteed every other Friday off because of this, by the time you crawled into bed near midnight, you only had enough energy to add a few lines onto the letter you had begun to Bucky as soon as you arrived. It made for a rather disjointed and rambling piece of correspondence, in your opinion, but you could not bear to keep him waiting any longer – not wanting him to assume you had forgotten to write and not knowing how long the thing would take to reach him regardless.

Dashing into the office you shared with Myrtle, a very stoic young woman with dark hair and thick eyelashes from Rhode Island, you exhaled in relief to see the post still waiting to be collected and added your letter to the pile. Unlocking your desk drawers, you began setting up for the day, hoping it would reach him quickly.

His reply arrived in your inbox just over two weeks later, near the end of September. Sliding it into your brown leather utility bag, you did your utmost to ignore its very existence throughout the first daily meeting, and your subsequent production of the official report thereof. Taking your lunch break a little earlier than usual paid off in that the line was much shorter at that time. You inhaled the mystery stew and rolls, hardly tasting them, before taking your letter outside to read in the rare afternoon sunshine.

It was short, and it was unspeakably adorable that Bucky did not write in cursive, but there was no lack of his personality in his response. It was as though the very essence of him had been distilled into the ink itself and you could not help the broad grin that bore its way into the muscles of your cheeks, making them ache as you read it.

Glancing quickly at your watch, you realized there was still time to send a reply before the second post pick-up but based on the length of time it had taken for this exchange of letters, it was unlikely another would reach him with enough time to plan for October 8 – your next Friday off. Worrying your lip between your teeth as you considered your options, you landed on a rather devious idea, one that quite honestly would have never come to you if not for the deep need to reach Bucky immediately. Vi had a telephone on her desk in the weather office, a number that you had access to given the strategic importance of weather to the senior operations officers.

Myrtle would be on her break for another fifteen minutes…you had not even realized you had made up your mind before your feet began to carry you back inside, up the stairs into the mercifully still-empty office. Digging out the directory, you found the number for Thorpe Abbotts’ weather office and took a shaky breath as you sank into your chair.

‘Keep it brief, keep it free of classified information. Worst you’ll get is a reprimand.’

The devious, deceptive voice in your mind was a new one, fostered, perhaps, by the rather carefree man you found yourself deeply entangled with, but it was not one you were about to disobey. Lifting the handset of your phone from its cradle, you cleared your throat as the operator answered.

“Norfolk 7315, please.” You tried your best to sound calm and collected as the line clicked and began to ring.

“Phillips.” An unexpected voice answered, and you gulped, knowing Ruth would be less likely to participate in some romantic scheme.

You greeted her in kind, trying to ignore the ache of loneliness as she gasped softly.

“I was hoping you might pass along a message for me?”

“To a certain Major?” You could hear the grin in her voice and felt the pressure on your chest ease.

“Indeed. October 8. I will arrange accommodations.”

“Your line should he need to reach you?”

Hesitating a moment, you ultimately decided to provide it as well, wanting to ensure he could in fact contact you if something came up. Or perhaps any of them could – should the worst happen.

‘Don’t think about that.’ You chastised yourself internally.

“You’re well?” Ruth asked and you smiled softly.

“I am, please tell everyone I miss them terribly.”

“Will do, have to go.”

There was a ‘click’ as she hung up and the line went dead but the lightness in your heart could not be extinguished.

Nine days later you found yourself waiting on the platform at Liverpool Street station awaiting the arrival of Bucky’s train from East Anglia. Given the proximity of High Wycombe to London, you had arrived much earlier that morning and checked into the hotel already, dropping off your small bag and come to wait for his train – well you assumed he’d be on the first train of the day, but as the carriages disgorged a sea of humanity and you had yet to spot him, your brows began to furrow in doubt.

You were about to fish the folded schedule you had picked up from the ticket counter to check the next arrival time when he was suddenly wrapping an arm around you, pulling you tight into his chest as you gasped softly in surprise.

“There you are doll.” Bucky sighed, dropping his bag at your feet to slide the other arm around you as he pulled back to nudge your cap out of the way and deliver a breathtakingly thorough kiss that you were not entirely sure was appropriate for the public setting you were in.

Not that you stopped him, you own arms snaking about his midsection to cling to him tightly.

Pulling back, his eyes raked over your features lovingly as you both inhaled deeply to fill your greedy lungs.

“Well, well 1st Lieutenant.” He smirked proudly as he lifted his hand to stroke the chrome insignia you now wore on your lapels courtesy of your promotion, leaving smudges of his thumb print.

“You are leaving my uniform in disarray, Major.” You chided playfully, unable to hold back you grin, even for a moment, to sell the joke.

His forefinger hooked behind the knot in your tie, tugging it out from beneath your jacket and pulling you closer – eliminating the last few inches of space that remained between your bodies.

“Good.” He rumbled against your lips before kissing you deeply, severely undermining the infrastructure of your knees.

The loud racket of the train cars as they shunted into one another jolted the pair of you apart, making you realize you were among the last few remaining on the platform as the now empty train left the station.

“Let’s get you checked in and your bag dropped off.” You murmured, clearing your throat as you unbuttoned your uniform jacket to straighten and re-secure your tie.

His hand slid into yours as the pair of you made your way out of the station and he happily followed you to a hotel you’d found near his station, knowing that he’d be here longer than you and it would be easier for him to find his way back to base this way. Sitting patiently in the lobby as he checked in and ran his bag up, you smiled as he returned to hold his hands out to you.

“C’mon doll, I have a whole plan.”

Taking his hands, you rose to your feet, raising your eyebrows curiously. “A whole plan?”

He leaned in to murmur against your ear, “you’re not the only one involved in planning you know.”

You pulled back quickly, eyes wide with a touch of panic. You were quite certain you had never told him just what your new position entailed, and there was no way he could simply guess it.

“Easy doll, your phone line.” He winked as he maneuvered your arm through his, turning to lead you out the front door.

Slowly exhaling, it clicked into place. Of course. Just as you were able to find Vi’s desk number in a directory, it seemed Bucky had been doing a little research of his own.

“Well, shhh.” You chastened him firmly, laying a finger over your lips, looking very much like an anti-slander campaign poster.

His hearty laugh in response did little to convince you that he took in the message.

“Now, how do we get to Hyde Park…” He murmured, pulling a crumpled leave guide out of his pocket.

“The underground.” You answered easily, leading him back towards the very station he had arrived at but this time down to the tube station entrance where the pair of you purchased your tickets.

His touch rarely left you – even if he was forced to release your hand, you could feel his palm pressed against your lower back as you made your way through the crowded subterranean space. You were glad to have him with you this time, not particularly a fan of this mode of transportation, but it certainly was an efficient way to get around London. Pressed close together on the train, you took the opportunity to simply gaze at him, basking in his presence after nearly a month apart, not missing the way his mouth ticked up at the corner cockily.

“Missed you too, doll.” He winked and ducked a kiss to your ear before guiding you off the train at your stop – once he had confirmed with you it was indeed your stop.

Blinking your way back into the light of day, you pointed at a directional sign guiding the way to Hyde Park.

“Perfect, now apparently there are…sandwiches!” He crowed and tugged you over to a sandwich truck that seemed quite popular based on the line of waiting patrons.

Your face was starting to hurt, driving home how infrequently you had found the opportunity to smile in his absence, making you squeeze his hand fondly. Bucky looked back to you quickly as he joined the queue.

“You really did plan everything.” You gulped quickly and he beamed proudly.

“Anything for my girl. What kind would you like?” He gestured at the menu written on the side of the truck.

By the time you reached the front of the line, Bucky was able to easily place your order, including two bottles of lemonade, insisting on paying. Opening your utility bag, you carefully packed the lunch away, earning a rather damp and enthusiastic kiss on your cheek as he snatched your hand to continue onto the park.

“May I ask what it is about this park in particular?” You inquired as the pair of you dashed across the road.

“You can ask…” His cheeky reply had you scoffing in return as you entered the canopy of trees, following a path further and further away from the traffic of downtown London.

Plenty of men in uniform seemed to be out, enjoying the nice weather with women on their arms. Women who, unlike you, enjoyed the luxury of being allowed to dress as they chose during their leisure time. It had been one of many reasons that nearly twenty-five percent of women had chosen not to remain enlisted during the transition from the WAAC to the WAC, the army requirement to remain in uniform even when off-duty. In all honesty, you had not really missed your civilian clothes until just then.

Watching the sheer femininity of those women as they swirled about in their colorful fabrics only drove home how drably olive and plainly cut your uniform truly was.

“You’re a million miles away, doll.” Bucky’s voice cut through the dark clouds that had gathered in your mind and you looked to him quickly.

“Sorry Bucky, it’s beautiful here. Like another place entirely.” You offered him a smile but by the way his eyebrow lifted slightly he did not seem to be entirely buying it. “Have the leaves started changing around the base yet?” You tried changing the subject.

He shook his head, releasing your hand to slide his arm around your waist instead, pulling you closer. “Seems everything will happen later here than back home.”

You hummed thoughtfully, glancing ahead and gasping a little at the glimpse of a sizeable body of water that seemed to be filled with rowboats.

“That’s why were here.”

You turned back to him to see a broad grin had overtaken his face and laughed in excitement as it was terribly romantic.

“If I had known, Major Egan, I would have brought my parasol.” You grinned and he snorted, squeezing your hip fondly.

“No need to put on airs, 1st Lieutenant,” he smirked, “the ride will be enjoyable all the same.”

“Bucky!” You hissed sharply, slapping his chest as he laughed deeply, ducking your head slightly as more than a few passersby shot glances your way.

“C’mon doll.” He chuckled and led you over to the booth beside the dock, paying the fee for a thirty-minute rental before the pair of you headed down to climb into one of the waiting row boats.

Setting your heavy bag on the floor, you carefully stepped into the rather unstable watercraft, settling on the passenger’s bench – denoted as such by the ornate ironwork arms. Bucky followed, seated across from you at the oars, his knees nearly brushing against yours, legs too long for so small a boat. Unbuttoning and sliding off his jacket, he tossed it and his cap to you before rolling up his sleeves and began to row the pair of you out onto The Serpentine, you now knew the small lake to be called.

“I trust you know what you’re doing?” You asked as he appeared to easily manage the oars, seeming at ease in the small boat.

“Mostly.” He teased with a wink before laughing at your slightly aghast expression. “Grew up on the shore of Lake Michigan, doll. Boats are like planes to me, easily managed.” He soothed.

It was difficult to decide which view to settle your eyes upon, the verdant green of the still-lush trees, the throng of boats around you, or Bucky working up a remarkably attractive sheen of sweat with his forearms on display as he propelled the rowboat through the water. A feathered fan would have been a very useful tool in that moment, to hide behind or cool yourself down, or perhaps both.

Belatedly, you realized that Bucky had been speaking this whole time – about events back at Thorpe Abbotts. Giving you the update about the people you knew, the trouble Meatball had caused with a farmer down the road, but he trailed off when he realized you were staring once more in dumbfounded silence at him.

“Doll, you’re going to give me a big head if you keep looking at me like that.” He winked as he lifted the oars from the water, letting the water sluice from the blades before tucking them into the boat on either side of you.

“Y…you’re good at that.” You replied lamely and shook your head. “Hungry?” Leaning forward for your bag, which was in all honestly a lot closer to his feet in the floor of the boat, you froze as everything tilted precariously in response to your movements.

Bucky lay a gentle hand on your shoulder to steady you. “Allow me.” Bending down slowly, he scooped up your bag and opened the flap to retrieve your sandwich and lemonade. “It’s sure tight in here, how did you even make this all fit?”

He tugged a little harder on the packet containing your lunch and your eyes widened in horror as, while he was triumphant, he also managed to send the three condoms you had tucked into your bag scattering to the floor of the boat. His eyes followed the distinct, square, paper packets and you could see his throat bob as he swallowed viciously.

“Doll…” His voice came out rough as a gravel road as he slowly raised his eyes to meet yours. “…been doing some planning of your own?”

“‘A WAC is always prepared.’” You quoted in a mortified whisper, struggling against the urge to lunge forward and hide the evidence, knowing it would only send both of you over the side and into the lake.

You watched another swallow ripple down Bucky’s throat before he offered your lunch to you, carefully collecting the offending items and returning them to your bag before he retrieved his own food.

“Would you mind,” He spoke after taking a rather ruthless and oversized bite of his sandwich, words muffled between slices of bread and chicken salad before he swallowed to start over. “Would you mind if, instead of following the rest of my plan, after these thirty minutes are up, I take you back to the hotel?”

Taking a thick swallow of your own, you shook your head slowly as you felt your cheeks heat up at the implications of that invitation. “I would not mind, no.” You clarified breathlessly and he nodded sharply, gesturing for your as-yet-unopened bottle of lemonade.

Handing it back to him, you watched silently as he lined the edge of the cap with the metal plate holding the oarlock in place, popping it off the bottle with one sharp blow of the heel of his palm.

“Thank you.” You murmured quietly as he passed you the opened drink, taking a deep sip as he repeated the process with his own, draining nearly half the bottle in one go.

Tilting your head back to take in the feel of the sun on your face, you slid your cap from your hair, adding it to the pile of his neatly folded items on the bench beside you, continuing to enjoy your picnic on the lake.

“You heard about Dye hitting twenty-five?” He broke the silence, sounding much more like himself again and you nodded quickly.

“Big news, everywhere in the 8th. Lucky crew all heading home – how did Lil take it?” You tilted your head curiously, raising your bottle to your lips, his eyes following the motion closely.

“Hm? Oh, she’ll be alright…they’re both good at letters.” He nodded, leaning back a little.

You knocked your knee against his affectionately. “Don’t sell yourself short you sweet man, I thoroughly enjoyed yours.”

His eyes flicked to yours quickly as a small smile curled his lips. “Yeah?”

You nodded firmly. “Yeah. Promise to give you more to reply to soon, phone was just necessary to make this happen.”

His hand landed on your thigh gently and he squeezed the flesh through your skirt. “Worth it. Just how long are your days though, doll?”

Your fingers played along the empty glass bottle, and you shrugged. “As long as they need to be.” You replied evasively.

“Mm, I’m going to get a better answer out of you than that.” He threatened playfully as he leaned forward to grasp the oar handles, swinging the blades back into the water and taking the pair of you on a loop around the corner of the lake before returning you to the dock.

Bucky climbed out first, taking his cap and jacket before helping you out easily, kissing you firmly as soon as you were on solid ground. “Let’s take a cab…” He breathed impatiently and you laughed, shaking your head.

“The cost would be astronomical, come on.” You affixed your cap on your head as he rolled down his sleeves and slid his jacket back on before the pair of you made your way back to the Underground.

Bucky’s body was practically pressed against yours the entire trip back to Liverpool Street station, seemingly unable to tolerate any form of separation. As you neared the hotel though, you looked to him slowly. “We should go in as colleagues…I booked us that way.”

He looked at you utterly confused, and you swallowed.

“We’re unwed, there was no way I could book us here together, and they will be none to please if they realize I’ve tricked them. I’ll get my key, you get yours, I’ll come to your room…”

He nodded slowly, arm reluctantly unwinding from around your waist before holding the door open for you to step inside.

“Thank you, Major.” You nodded, sliding your cap from your head as you stepped inside, heading to the counter to fetch your room key as he did the same, the pair of you walking up the stairs to the fifth floor together before parting ways so you could fetch your small overnight bag.

It was rather a waste of money, to book a room knowing you would most likely never sleep in it, but such things were necessary for women like you. Women who chose to go to bed with a man they were not married to in the long light of the afternoon. Taking a steadying breath, you left the perfectly made bed behind, walking down the hall to Bucky’s room and knocking on the door softly.

It promptly swung open to reveal a smiling Bucky, his jacket and cap long gone, along with his necktie, the top few buttons of his shirt undone. He stepped back and gestured for you to enter his much larger room with a small brown paper wrapped packet clasped in his hand. Once the door was closed behind you, you let out the laugh you had been holding.

“I did book this under Major John Egan, I suppose they felt the need to give you a nicer room than a Lieutenant.”

He smirked and kissed your cheek, taking your cap and bag from your hand, then pressing the package into it. “Before I forget, again.”

“Bucky you didn’t have to get me anything, you came to see me…”

“Open it.” His eyes danced with anticipation, and you began to pull at the piece of twine holding the package closed, unfolding the utilitarian paper to reveal a brand-new pair of stockings.

You let out an audible gasp as your jaw fairly fell to the floor.

“To replace the pair that got wrecked when you fell.” He smiled, obviously pleased by your reaction.

“How on earth did you…?!” You trailed off, staring up at him in wonderment.

“A man never reveals his secrets, doll.” He grinned and let out a grunt as you launched yourself into his arms, kissing him fiercely at the thoughtfulness of his gift and in recognition of the sheer determination it must have taken to achieve such a feat in rationed England.

His fingers gently plied the items from your grasp, setting them on the bedside table, freeing your hands to latch onto his arms as he cupped your face gently.

“You sure about this, my beautiful girl?” He whispered and your breath hitched in your throat at the tender look on his face just inches from yours.

“Yes.” You nodded quickly, sliding your fingers into his hair to pull his lips back to yours greedily.

A pleased noise rolled from his throat and across your tongue as he coaxed your mouth open, his fingers shifting to make steady work at the buttons on your jacket before he unwound your hands from his dark curls to slide the garment off, tossing it in the general direction of the chair that held his. You could not help the giggle that bubbled up from your chest at that as you moved to undo the buttons of his shirt one by one.

The tug of his teeth on your lower lip quickly transformed your laughter to shuddering breath as you held tightly to the open sides of his shirt, feeling him tug your tie free from your collar before it joined the pile of clothes somewhere on the plush blue carpet of the hotel room floor. Your shirt and skirt were quick to join it, leaving you in your brassiere and slip, garter belt and underwear still hidden from view.

“You have a remarkable number of layers on, doll.” He huffed as his mouth descended along your throat to suck at the crook of your shoulder, installing a dramatic curve in your spine as you arched against him wantonly with a half-swallowed cry of pleasure.

“Y…you have almost as many…” You protested, tugging the ends of his shirt from his trousers before pushing it from his shoulders only to be met with his undershirt.

The sheer broadness of him had never quite been so very apparent and had you licking your lips as you struggled with the last barrier between you and his torso, your ID tags rasping metallically against his.

“Not nearly as complicated though.” He muttered as his fingers worked at the hook and eye closure of your bra until you felt the band go slack and he leaned back to slide the straps down your arms, making you shiver as your breasts were revealed to his hungry gaze.

Bucky’s heavy exhale fluttered against your collarbone, grown cool by the time it traversed the distance between you, and you shuddered slightly, looking to the side shyly. He leaned in to brush his nose against yours tenderly, pecking your lips.

“Whatcha hiding for, gorgeous?” His tone was gentle and had your eyes slowly sliding to meet his, an action he rewarded with a deep kiss.

He continued to distract you with repeated meetings your lips, each time with growing intensity as his palms slid upwards along your sides to cup your breasts. The meeting of flesh had you inhaling sharply through your nose, hands seeking anchor as your fingers twisted into his beltloops where his trousers hung open around his hips – yet again delaying you in your purpose of undressing him. As his thumbs honed in on your sensitive peaks, Bucky elicited all manner of noises from your throat only to eagerly devour them.

“D’ya have any idea how soft you are doll?” He sighed against your lips as he kneaded your tender flesh. “’Cept right here.” He smirked as he tugged at your nipples and you whined his name, pressing impossibly close against him, realizing he was anything but soft.

Your shimmies and writhes against him seemed to serve as a reminder of the greater purpose at hand and Bucky’s fingers ceased their torment, sliding down to your hips to divest you of your slip before beginning to work at your stockings. Toeing off your shoes, you pushed his trousers from his hips, letting gravity do the rest.

“So many hooks and straps and loops…” He muttered as his mouth dipped to the hollow of your throat, though his fingers seemed more than capable of stripping you down to only your underwear.

Seizing your hips, Bucky guided you back onto the bed, and you could not help the sigh at that flew from your mouth at the feel of a real mattress with springs and a duvet, drawing a broad grin across his face as he crawled over you, coaxing you to lay back.

“Precious women like you should always have luxurious beds like these. None of those stinking Army cots…” His hands slid beneath your spine to half guide, half drag you up to rest on the obnoxious mountain of pillows.

Staring up at him in awe, at a complete loss for words, you settled on pressing up onto your elbows to kiss him firmly, hoping to convey your appreciation physically rather than trying to summon speech. As his lips parted from yours to begin sliding down your body, you let out a slight huff of annoyance, earning a chuckle against your collarbone which rumbled through his chest and into your body. He lifted his head slightly as his fingers wove through the ball chain of your ID tags as he seemed to notice them for the first time.

“I always wondered if you ladies had these.”

You bit your lip to smother your grin as he never hesitated to say what was on his mind, a constant stream of commentary on the world around him, and rather than annoying, you found it utterly adorable.

“Are you laughin’ at me, doll?” He smirked and gave a gentle tug, pulling a genuine laugh from you, to which he responded with a brilliant grin. “Alright then, I’ll give you something to laugh about.” He bowed his head to drag the flat of his tongue across your nipple, your resulting whimper bouncing off the walls as he resumed his teasing of your opposite breast.

“B…Bucky…” Your eyes shot wide as his plush lips sealed around that tender peak, applying a positively euphoric suction that had you burying your fingers in his hair and pressing your body closer to his mouth in silent demand.

With careful precision, his knee slid its way between your thighs, applying coaxing pressure to each in turn until you provided enough room for him to settle between them. The feeling of his hard length slotting against your core with only the thin barrier of your underwear separating your intimate flesh had your jaw dropping open in a silent ‘oh’ – a revelation unto itself despite all the experiences you had enjoyed with him thus far. Undulating your hips against his experimentally, you shuddered at the ragged, abbreviated groan he pressed against your sternum, caught in the midst of traversing your chest. Thoroughly encouraged, you repeated the action, savagely gnawing on your lip as he bit off a curse before his mouth reached its destination and laved at your neglected nipple.

Nestling tighter against you, Bucky began to roll his hips against you in earnest, obliterating your ability to think and scheme against him at the blinding pleasure his combined actions induced. You could feel the smug angle of his lips against your abdomen as his mouth was trailing lower on your body, his fingers curling into the waistband of your underwear to peel it from your body. Shifting back to free the interfering item from your legs, he gazed down at you with almost black eyes, his pupils having nearly devoured his irises in his arousal, before stretching forward onto his stomach.

Blinking rapidly, you raised up on your elbows to watch him hoist one of your legs over a strong shoulder and then the other, shuffling embarrassingly close to the apex of your thighs.

“Bucky?” You squeaked hesitantly.

He raised an eyebrow up at you, his pink tongue darting out the wet his lips, nearly matching the flush that had painted its way across his cheeks and down his neck. “Yes, doll?”

“What…” You swallowed thickly as your throat clenched erratically.

“Making good on a promise.” He replied seriously before stretching forward to deliver a thorough kiss to your folds that fairly sucked the air from your lungs, an odd whistling sound echoing through you as you savagely burrowed your fingers into the bedding.

When his tongue narrowed in on that sensitive bundle of nerves, it was your turn to bite off a curse, slumping back onto the pillows as he hummed against you in what was surely mock sympathy as he most certainly did not let up, his efforts only doubling. As your hips began to jerk and writhe, he slung a heavy forearm across your pelvis to pin you in place, only shifting closer and tracing his forefinger around your entrance teasingly. It was all you could do not to kick and wail as you felt yourself becoming embarrassingly slick, the noises he was making growing ever so obscene and filling the hotel room.

“Fuck!” You whined against your palm as his finger finally sunk into your wet heat, its passage remarkably eased by your arousal, hips bucking hard enough to jar his arm slightly.

“Damn you’re delicious, doll.” He growled against you, lips smacking loudly as he began to suck at your pearl, finger working you open enough to add a second before beginning a demanding rhythm.

“Oh…oh...god…” You cried out in agony, too far gone to remember your desire to be quiet, feeling the tension of pending release growing ever closer under his amorous onslaught.

“I know, I know…” He soothed, only quickening his pace, hooking his fingers towards the front of your body, sending your back into a dramatic curve from the mattress, a tortured moan ripping from your throat. “Oh, I have to see that again.” He rasped and sought that precise spot with a ruthless single-minded precision until he was rewarded with not only the same reaction, but your strangled cry as your orgasm slammed into you with breath-taking force.

As you returned to earth from your visit to the celestial plane, the first sensation you became aware of was tender, damp kisses being pressed to your inner thigh as Bucky murmured soft words of encouragement to you.

“There’s my gorgeous girl, holy hell that was incredible, did you enjoy that half as much as I did?”

You managed a wordless noise in the affirmative that summoned him to your side, his lips feathering kisses up your jaw to your ear, the tickle of his moustache making you laugh breathlessly.

“Good?” He murmured and you nodded quickly, turning to look at his still-expectant face.

“Yes.” You cobbled together a verbal response, and he blessed you with a warm smile which you leaned in to press your lips against in gratitude.

“Good.” He swiped his tongue along your lips before suddenly slipping from the bed, making you raise your head in confusion.

Stalking over to find your utility bag amongst the sea of discard items and clothing, he proudly retrieved the three condoms that had announced your hopes and intentions for you by appearing in the rowboat, unceremoniously shucking off his boxers as he made his way back to you. You had held his length before, stroked it to completion, but that paled in comparison to seeing the full expanse of him in the light of day.

“My gorgeous doll, you might not say a lot, but you sure don’t mind looking at what you like.” He smirked unabashedly as he set two of the paper packets on the night table beside you, unwrapping the third to unroll the protective latex onto his cock.

Rather than letting his teasing words dissuade you, though they did cause your teeth to sink into your lower lip, you chose to allow your eyes to linger on his actions, rather fascinated by the whole process. By the male anatomy as well. Task managed, he was climbing over you once more, blocking the golden light of afternoon that was filtering in through the windows with his body, warmth radiating from his skin. He settled easily between your legs once more, still parted from his early activities as you really had not summoned the wherewithal to move yet, and stroked his length through the lingering slick gathered along your folds.

A broken sigh fell from his lips before they clashed with yours, not quite aligned, but the sentiment was still there, body shuddering as you slid your arms around him to cling to his shoulders. It was difficult to tell just whom Bucky was teasing as he continued to rut against you, the tip of his cock brushing against your overly-sensitive bundle of nerves, both of you huffing through your nostrils until at last he began to sink into you.

Tearing your lips from his, you sucked in gasping breaths at the feel of the foreign intrusion, appreciating the fact that his pace seemed to slow in response to that. Appreciating the pause he afforded you when his pelvis slotted snuggly against yours once he was seated fully inside you. Cracking open your clenched eyes, you gulped tightly as they were immediately met by Bucky’s, crowned by a furrowed brow, but flicking over your features studiously as if awaiting your instruction.

“I’m ok.” You breathed and he nodded, immediately seizing your lips in a kiss once more as he rocked forward, earning a ragged moan as your fingertips dug into the skin of his back.

His familiarity with this sort of activity had always been apparent, but was exceptionally obvious now as he slowly began the rhythmic push and pull to drive you both towards climax. The sheer intimacy of it was too much and yet it was not nearly enough, your body craving ever more, ever faster, with increasing desperation. The rare moments that Bucky’s lips were not on yours, they were filling the room with choked-off moans or statements of the filthiest order.

“God doll, you feel so fucking good around me.”

“So tight. I can feel how wet you are too, even with this rubber on.”

“You’re gonna cum for me, aren’t ya? You’re gripping on me like a…fuck I can’t think when you do that…”

His ability to even speak while experiencing such mind-numbing pleasure, rambling though it was, was fairly awe-inspiring. Your responses were limited to moans and whimpers and cries of his name as his supposition was correct – your orgasm was indeed imminent. All it took was the solicitous stroking of his forefinger against the apex of your pleasure to send you flying over the cliff into paradise, clinging to his body as you cried out in ecstasy.

A string of rasped curses mixed in with several sighs of your name heralded his release as Bucky finished not long after, rocking against you sloppily before sinking down onto your chest with a comforting heaviness. Stroking his back tenderly as he nestled into your neck, you grinned stupidly at the ceiling as you felt quite pleased with your choices.

The pair of you made good use of the rest of the condoms you had brought, with a short break for a meal Bucky procured while you took a bath. He returned with a bottle of brandy as well, finding you still in the bathtub. A lot of water ended up on the floor, a pile of water-logged towels your testament to the attempted clean-up. Eating in bed, you shared stories of your childhoods – Bucky’s about growing up on the shores of Lake Michigan, yours of the small two-storey house with its screen door and front porch from which you had watched your brother play with the neighbourhood boys.

You fell asleep in one another’s arms after the final condom was disposed of, the sun long set, but awoke sometime in the night to the unsettling sound of an air raid siren. Not as common in 1943, yet being as close as you were to Canary Wharves, the Luftwaffe still made the occasional bomb run. Startled to find the bed empty, you sat up sharply to see Bucky sitting in front of the window, completely naked, intermittently illuminated by the flashes of distant explosions and anti-aircraft fire.

“Sorry doll, didn’t mean to wake ya.” He muttered and you shook your head, sliding to the end of the bed.

“You ok?” You tilted your head, blinking into a particularly bright flash.

“Hmmm…” He replied noncommittally, turning back to the scene before him with a frown. “I’ve dropped a lot of those. Done a lot of killing.”

Swallowing tightly, you slid to your feet despite the way your heart was pounding in your throat, padding across the carpet towards him.

“Done your job, Bucky. Done what was asked of you.” You assured him, coming to stand behind him, setting your hands on his shoulders.

“If there’s any balance to all this, my ticket was punched a long time ago.” He muttered sullenly and it was your turn to frown.

Bending down to press a kiss to the crown of his head, you stepped in front of him to block his view, perhaps, hopefully, to block his darker thoughts as you shifted to sit on his thighs.

“Whatcha doin’ doll?” He quirked an eyebrow, mouth falling open in a silent moan as your fingers slid between your bodies to gently stroke his length.

“Lightening up.” You replied, invoking the words of your dead brother’s inscription.

It was impossible to think of a more important piece of advice or a more importance source in that moment. A young man who would never get the chance to spend one more time in his lover’s arms, who knew you better than anyone in the entire world. And you were most certainly going to follow it. You had to be up in less than three hours, to catch the first train to High Wycombe, and you would not pass up this moment with Bucky. The future was unknowable, your brother’s death had certainly taught you that.

Bucky’s fingers curled into your hips as his mouth descended onto yours greedily, clearly in agreement with your plan, despite the lack of remaining condoms. Shuffling closer, you guided his now fully hard cock into your body, your soft noises of pleasure colliding with his in the space between your parted lips. Working together, with plenty of guidance from his firm grip, you began to rocking your hips, using his shoulders for leverage. His head fell back to stare up at you in awe, jaw slack, adam’s apple bobbing viciously.

“Christ, I love you…” His face betrayed such vulnerability, lips trembling slightly, that you quickly lifted your hands to cradle his cheeks, even as your lashes grew suddenly damp.

“I love you too, John. So much.” You replied thickly, rather resenting the dramatic wobble in your voice.

The tiniest of smiles pulled at his lips before his face grew serious once more and he lunged forward to kiss you hungrily, hands anchoring your shoulders so he might thrust up into your body with a sudden need. It was all you could do to hang on, though pleasure itself still managed to sweep you away, leaving you only with the vague recognition of him half pulling out mid-release.

It was terribly difficult to leave him in that comfortable, if messy, bed a few hours later. He did not make it easy either, impossible to untangle from your body like an unwieldy piece of seaweed. Yet somehow you managed to make your trains and arrive at your desk at the appointed hour. Focusing on the task at hand with the pleasurable ache between your legs was altogether another challenge, forcing you to sit on first one hip and then the other.

You had just returned after the lunch break when your phone rang, your greeting barely out of your mouth before Bucky’s question came down the line.

“Did you know you know where they played yesterday’s match?” He asked flatly and it took you several seconds to comprehend that he was speaking in code and just what he was getting at.

You swallowed painfully. “Yes, I did sir.”

Of course you did, you were in the room on Thursday night when they had chosen Bremen as the target for yesterday’s mission.

“A lot of our best players struck out, you know. Buck included.”

He sounded utterly unlike himself, cold and distant, not the man you had left just hours ago in that hotel room in London. All the same, your heart broke for him, and for yourself too. You liked Major Cleven – this war was nothing but cruel.

“I’m so sorry B-Major Egan.” You corrected yourself quickly, eyeing Myrtle across the room.

“Well I hope you all pick a better field for tomorrow’s match because I’m pitching.”

You opened your mouth to reply as your heart dropped through the floor, but the sound of the handset slamming into the cradle resounded over the line before it went dead, giving you no opportunity to speak. To wish him luck or, heaven forfend, goodbye. You hung up your phone with a slightly shaking hand as a deep sense of dread threaded its way through your stomach.

-------------------------

Read Part Five - "I Trusted You!"

"Trust" Series Masterlist

Tag list: @gretagerwigsmuse, @precious-little-scoundrel, @rubyfruitjungle, @storysimp, @mads-weasley, @xxanaduwrites, @bcon24, @fxxiva, @slowsweetlove, @hockeyboysarehot, @darylas

[jazminrhode1]

I've Loved You My Whole Life Matt Sturniolo x Reader One Shot

Summary: You and Matt are best friends but, there might be some underlying feelings between you both.

Word Count: 677 words

Matt sat beside you tracing gentle spirals on your back as you facetimed back home to your mom. She always missed you when you were away but, knew you were safe when you were with Matt.

She was catching you up on your brother’s soccer tournament and your Dad's trip to Vermont. He had gone with some friends on their annual weekend away and you knew your mom missed him a lot.

Before you hung up, she said to Matt, “Take care of our girl.” Matt laughed, digging his chin into your shoulder. “Always,” he promised.

You and Matt had been best friends since elementary school. He was the first person you called in the morning and the last text you sent at night.

When you were too scared to skate on the ice at your 8th birthday party, he took your hand and made sure that you didn’t fall. When you broke up with your first boyfriend who you thought that you’d marry someday, Matt was there to pick up the pieces. Whenever you called, he was there.

As you drove to McDonald's to grab something to eat, he laced his fingers through yours. It was this kind of simple shit that none of your boyfriends could ever seem to do. He opened the door, he paid for your meal and when you decided you didn’t want the Dr Pepper you ordered, he swapped his drink just to make you happy.

Matt was always a ‘let’s fix this’ type of person. Even when you disagreed or argued about stupid little things, he never left until you sorted it out. He would always be down for uncomfortable conversations if it meant you were still friends in the end. There was nothing more comforting than knowing you could be yourself around him.

As you sat on the couch, you laid your head on his chest. He was the only person who could make your heart still when your anxiety was out of control. He played with your hair mindlessly as you watched Spongebob together. It was moments like this that you had missed since he moved to LA.

In the morning, he woke you up with a coffee from Starbucks. He had let you stay in his bed and he was bunking with Chris. Chris didn’t mind, he liked the company. You sometimes felt like he missed Matt when you were around, though he never said that.

As you walked down the esplanade with your ice creams in hand something about it seemed different. Something about the space between you felt more fragile but, you couldn’t put your finger on it. He caught your gaze and just smiled; he locked eyes with you for a little too long to be just friends.

Everyone could see how much the two of you loved each other. It was hard for you to put into words. You loved him in ways that you had never loved anyone else. He was your person. Something about him made you feel a little more alive and a little less lost.

As you sat on the bench looking out at the water, he tucked your hair behind your ear and ran his hand down your back. It was in those moments of intimate understanding that you felt the most seen. The little things that he did let you know that he loved you too.

He wrapped an arm around you and pulled you into his side to block you from the wind. His lips pressed against your temple; your fingers tracing circles on his thigh. This was love, wasn’t it? Didn’t the Buddhists say 'If you meet somebody and your heart pounds, your hands shake, your knees go weak, that's not the one. When you meet your 'soul mate' you'll feel calm.' This was love, wasn’t it?

You turned to face him and looked up into his eyes, “Do you believe the universe fights for two souls to be together?”

A smile spread across his face as he replied, “I don't know about the universe but, I know that I have loved you for my whole life.”

[my-only-way-tocooperatewithlife]

How your life can change with a call - Charles Leclerc

Hello, hello.

So here we are, a new post, with a new story. This idea just popped up in my head and I could not just write it Hope you will like it.

Out and over

Kiki

DadCharles Leclerc x Reader

Summary: You have met two times before, but never ended well. The third time you have met was because something changed in both of your life, and this how two turned into three. You need to learn, adjust and love.

Warnings: death, anxiety, swears, alcohol usage, smut, pregnancy, mention of infertility

Masterlist

-- Monaco --

“Emily, do you really think this is a good idea? A blind date with your fiancé’s friend.. You know how much I hate blind dates..” you walked out of the bathroom trying to put the earrings in. “Come on, he is a really nice guy.” She sat up on the bed as she was caressing her big bump. She was in the 8th month of her pregnancy, she had reached the point when everything was uncomfortable, sitting, laying down, it did not matter anymore.She smiled and handed over the handbag before grabbing the keys from the little bowl next to the door and handed over that one also. “Have fun! Call me tomorrow!” She kissed left side of your cheek before opening the door and pushing your out.

“You really want to get rid of me.” You turned back at the doorstep. 

“No, I just need someone next to my daughter’s Godmother.” She winked at you.

You arrived at the small restaurant a few minutes earlier than it was agreed on. Checking the time at your watch on your arm as you were looking around watching the people walking, cars passing by. Fifteen minutes went by, when you took your phone out and started to write a text to your friend, asking about how long you should wait for him to arrive, when a taxi stopped in front of you and the door opened. You looked up from the phone hoping that your date had arrived but a young woman got out of the car, smiling at you friendly before handing over the cash to the driver and closed the door. You smiled back and let out a disappointed sigh and looked back on your phone. Maybe he is sitting inside, waiting for you. You walked into the small restaurant but you had no idea about whose name the table was booked. But the waitress was nice and showed you a small table, after you asked her if she knew there was someone who was waiting for a date, she just shook her head with an apologetic smile and handed over the menu, while showing you the offers for wines. Frustration was bubbling up in your body, as you were sipping on the red wine as you were looking around in the restaurant. Couples were having their romantic dinner, chatting away. Maybe he got into a traffic jam.. Or maybe he forgot about what time you will meet… Or he just never wanted to come….

You were just finished with your glass as the fifteen minutes actually turned into thirty minutes. You tried to catch the attention of the waitress to ask for the bill and leave, when she turned to your way with a smile and started to walk to your table. You picked the small handbag into your lap and dug up your wallet to pay when you saw someone walking behind her.

“Here she is.” She put down another menu “I’ll be back in a few to take your orders.” She smiled and left the table. I looked up from my glass checking out the new person who was trying to take the seat on the opposite side.

“I’m so sorry!” He started “ I got caught up in a meeting.” He was panting as he was trying to take his jacket off. “I’m Charles.” He extended his hand over the table and smiled at me. His piercing greenish, hazel eyes looked deep into yours. His handsome features could really charm you instantly but you did remember him, he was at the wedding of your friends. And he was flirting with you through the reception but ditched you right away when a young brown haired girl appeared. 

You looked puzzled at him waiting for him to realize that you had met him before, even shared some stories together, but he had no idea about it. 

“Y/N, nice to meet you!” You extended your hand out and let a small smile on your lips appear. Just as the drinks arrived and you were having a quite boring but polite conversation, the whole atmosphere was just awkward at your table, you were feeling awkward because you did know the guys sitting across the table, while he had no idea who you were. 

“Hey Charles, thank you for the afternoon. And the ride to here. We should do it again but in my place.” A long brown haired woman stopped at our table and winked at him and squeezed his shoulder before looking at you for a second and pulled her lips into an ironic smile and walked away from the table, swaying her hips obnoxiously. You turned your gaze back to him, seeing that he was still lingering his eyes on the woman’s lower back, while he was nibbling on the edge of the glass. You coughed awkwardly making him tear his eyes off her and turned back to you.

“I mean you did not specify what type of meeting you were caught up with. But now that purple mark on your neck and the slight red lips really gave it away.” You smiled at him ironically and looked back at your plate. 

“Y/N, I ‘m sorry, I totally forgot about the date and she was over and…My life is pretty messed up now. I just got out of a relationship…” He started to explain everything but you just looked at him and picked the bag up from the back of the chair. 

“Look. I did not want you to feel that this was an obligatory meeting… Especially that our friends arranged the whole thing, and I mean, you should have just sent Emily a text. Now I just feel humiliated, and I’m really not up for this. If you were not ready for a date, if you just wanted something casual you should have said it. And to be honest, I don’t have the energy and the time just to “waste” it that way.” You grabbed your coat too, before getting up from the chair and putting 50 euros down on the table. “I think it should cover it and maybe yours too.” Said before turning around and walked out of the restaurant.

“What a terrible night and what an asshole” you thought. And you did not know how wrong you were…

-- 3 years later --

“Hello, I’m Tomasso Rossi from the central hospital, is it Y/N L/N? “A deep male voice woke you up from your sleep in the middle of the night. 

“Uhm yes, it’s me. How can I help you?” You mumbled back still half asleep and confused and why would a hospital call you at this time. You sat up in the bed, rubbing your eyes.

“You were given as an emergency contact for Emily Bernard. Can you please come to the hospital as soon as possible?”

“What happened to her? Is Sophia okay?” You jumped up from the bed, started to search for the pieces of clothes in the dark room, picking up a leggings and hoodie before running to the door.

“I can’t tell you anything more than this over the phone. I’m sorry.”

“I’ll be there in 10.” You ended the call as you ripped the front door open and ran down the hallway to get to your car as fast as you could. While you chanted to yourself that you hope your goddaughter is okay and your friends too.

“Y/N Can you please come with me?” A tall figure appeared next to you as you were looking through the small window watching the peacefully sleeping Sophia in the hospital room. You still could not believe the whole thing. This night felt like a nightmare, in which you just can’t wake up from. You swiped off the tears from your cheeks and turned to the man on your right before nodding and following him down on the corridor. “Please take a seat in here.” He opened a door of an office where was a big oak table with four chairs, from which one was already occupied. The man lifted his head up from his hands when he heard the door open and as soon as you stepped in, you froze down. It was Charles. The man who have had that awful date with a few years ago. His glossy eyes went up from your shoes all the way to your eyes. His handsome features were covered with tears. He leaned back in the chair and swiped the fallen tear away. “Please take a seat.” The lawyer ‘s deep voice cut through the silence in the room which made you jump a little bit. You slowly took a seat next to Charles.” So you may have known that both of you were the Godparents of Sophia. And as well as that tragic accident of her parents, she was left behind without any caretakers. Emily and Éliott made a will where they have selected the both of you as caretakers. I know that you both need time to wrap your heads around this situation, but we need to decide it within the next 48 hours, or I have to give the hospital permission to start the paperworks with the child support, to start searching for a place for Sophia in an orphanage.” He looked up from the papers and pushed his glasses up on his nose. The two of you  were sitting in silence looking at in front of yours. Questions were flying around in your head. Caretakers? Orphanage? The lawyer was waiting for you patiently on the other side of the table, playing with his fingers as you were just zoning out completly.

“I’m in.” Charles broke the suffocating silence, his voice was weak and raspy due to staying silent for that long mixed with the crying. You looked at him, his eyes were on you waiting for you to answer. “I can take care of her even if you are not in this.”

“I’m in too. I’m just still trying to believe that I’m not dreaming.” You raked through your hair with your hands, and slid closer to the table. “Do we have to sign somewhere?”

“Yes, I have printed out the papers for it.” He took another pile of paper in front of him and slided over the table. Give one pile of each of you. “I’ll let you read it through, until I will go to the head of the child protection department. “ He got up from the desk and walked out of the door, leaving you in silence again. Charles got up from his seat and started to walk around in the small office. 

“Can you please stop walking around? You make me dizzy.” You leaned back in the chair taking your eyes of him, and close them. Pushing the heel of you palms into your eyes.

“Don’t need to stare at me. You can just leave the room. “ He snapped back at you stopping for a second before starting to walk again. “How the hell could this happen? What will I do with a three years old.. I have races most of the weekend..”

“What will you do? Do you think that I’m gonna leave my best friend’s baby, my goddaughter with you?” You sat up in the chair putting down the pile of paper on the desk.

“Y/N, both of us know that I can give that child better support.. And don’t take it as an offense.” He stopped for a second looking at you.

“What are you talking about?” You raised your eyebrows and waiting for his reponse, expressing what he was meaning by that.

“I know that you have some struggles with money and accommodation…Éliott told me a few weeks ago, when you and Emily met.”

“ You know nothing.” You shook your head left to right, and pulled on the sleeve of your hoodie down on your hands. Your anixiety were up on the roof already but with this conversation with Charles just made it worse. You were really forcing yourself no to just get up and walk out of the room.

“You live in a one room apartment in the worst part of the city.. “ Tilting his head to the side with an unamused expression on his face.

“You know not all of us have millions of dollars in their account to buy the fanciest penthouses in every city they have been before.” You stood up from your seat and took a few steps closer to him. Looking straight into his eyes. After your last time you saw each other did not ended well, you still have had some thorn in you, but with that statement he was really pissing you off. You haven't slept for 48 hours now at least, your best friend just passed away in a car accident and this rich, arrogant man is just judging you since you have stepped into the room. You were really having none of it. “Yes, indeed I live in not the best part of the city, I do rent a place, but if you have talked with Éliotte and Emily you know that very well, that I just lost everything. I lost my job and my fiancé, which made me give up the luxurious life and move away as soon as possible to a place with literally no money. And you are judging me because it just makes you a bigger jerk than I have already been thinking about you. And don’t you dare to think that I will give up on the last little thing that I have left from my childhood best friend, who was basically my sister. “You were standing close to him, pushing your finger into his chest. The lump in your throat got much bigger than before, tears were filling up your eyes, making your vision blurry. “Sophia is all I have left of her, Charles.” Your voice was weak as a sob was bubbling up in your throat, before you know Charles pulled you in a hug which made you broke down. “I want to wake up, this is a nightmare. They were at my place a few hours ago, we just had dinner, planning the summer vacations together. I want to wake up and see them again. I want Emily to call me saying that all this was a dream and she is still here. “ You said between the sobs as you were clenching on Charles’s shirt, soaking it through with your salty tears. He was rocking your bodies left to right, trying to calm you down as he was crying too. 

“I know, I want to wake up too. But this is not a dream, sadly. And we need to figure this one out, we can’t let them take Sophie away. “ He pushed your body away from his, you lifted your head up looking at his tear soaked face. “ We have to set some rules,but we need to do this together. She needs some stability in her life, and this can only be us.”

“It won’t be easy, but we need to do this” You stepped away grabbing the pen and extending it to him, as you had the other in your hand ready to sign the paper. You looked up at him and asked. “Are you ready to co-parenting this little angel with me?” 

------------------------------------------------

Month have passed since you have signed the papers and took home Sophie. It was still a learning process to have a toddler with you, to maneuver in the new parenting life, to bring the three different lifestyles together. It was hard, and you knew it well that first it wouldn't be easy. Take Sophie to the daycare, go to work, schedule your time with Charles. The whole living situation did not make it easier too, going back and forth to your place and between Charles’s. You still have had to adjust that you have been sleeping at Charles’s place with Sophie in the bed,because her room still needed to be adjusted. The only thing that made it much easier for you was that Charles’s mother Pascale helped you, she was the biggest help in your life, even though she was living hours away in Monaco while you were still living in Italy.

“Good morning” Charles appeared in the kitchen unexpectedly and made you jump as you were trying to find the button on the fancy coffee machine that would start to make your coffee, but you have already looked on the top, on the front, the sides even the back to find a button that will just make he machine work.

“Hello” You mumbled back and turned back to the machine.

“Someone is grumpy.” He picked up a water bottle out of the fridge and leaned back to the counter watching you with a grin, as you were having some troubles.

“Someone was snoring so heavily that I thought I’m in a construction site, which made Sophie wake up many times or just turn a lot in the bed, somehow ending her little hand in my mouth, or her little feet in my kidney. She sleeps just like her mother did, crosswise on the bed! “You were gesticulate violently, as you were telling him about your night. You have agreed that she sleeps with you until you have a bed for her and she will get used to the whole thing. “Oh and I try to make a coffee for myself but you have a fancy machine that needs to have an engineering diploma to use.” You turned defeatedly around throwing your hands up. 

“I do not snore that loud. And maybe use the screen on the top of the machine. Let me help.” He stepped behind you and pushed the screen before, so the machine started to buzz, filling up the mug with the black liquid. Stupid fancy machines and their hidden buttons.“ Bonjour ma petite chou!” He smiled and picked up Sophie, who was standing in the corner of the kitchen rubbing her eyes tiredly. “Comment as tu dormis? Il y a une sorcière qui a dit que tu ne la laisser pas dormir. (How did you sleep? There is a witch who said you did not let her sleep.)” He looked back at you with a cheeky smile.

“Je parle français aussi, crétin. (I also speak french, you cretin.)” You rolled your eyes as you filled another cup with coffee too, and put it on the kitchen island. He just laughed as he grabbed the mug and lifted up to his lips, but stopped before took a swig of it. “I won’t poison you. It’s just coffee..” You walked out of the kitchen to the dining table and pulled the chair out for you, and extended your arm out. “Now give me Sophie, she needs to have breakfast. I have made some for you too, if you are hungry, it’s on the stove.” You pointed with your head to the way of the kitchen. 

“Oh thanks.. That’s…Nice of you.” He looked at you surprised while letting you take Sophie and scratched the back of his neck.

“No worries. But don’t get used to it.” You looked up for a second before feeding the little girl in your lap with her breakfast. “I have ordered a chair and a bed for her at night, they will arrive here maybe in the afternoon or tomorrow.” You said casually as you took a bite from your toast and flipped through the pages of the magazine you have found on the table. It was a Sportsweek magazine with some pictures of him on the cover. You flipped through the pages, and stopped for a minute to the pages where his photos were. You could not lie to yourself that he was handsome on those, especially the ones that were black and white, somehow they even captured his features the best way. He was a beautiful man, and no matter how you tried to think that he is the last person that you want to feel attracted to, he was extremely handsome.

“You like what you see?” He slides on the other side of the table with a stupid grin on his face.

“Oh don’t be full of yourself. “ You rolled your eyes. “ But I have to say that those black and white ones really give you an advantage. “ You closed the magazine and slid to the other side of the table, before grabbing a napkin and swiped off the crumbles of Sophie’s cheek. He was taken back by your words, since you have met again and started this new living situation you were cold with him. Not rude or anything, just not as friendly as you can be with his mother and siblings. He understood it, he messed it up for real. That day when he was set up for that date, he had no idea who she was. She seemed really familiar for him, he just could not put a finger on it, but later he found some pictures from the wedding of your friend’s and that’s when he saw those outstanding green eyes, and he knew that he did not mess it up once, but twice. She behaved measuredly with him, sometimes let a smile appear on her beautiful features when he made a joke or a funny comment but it always quickly faded away, just only stayed there when Sophie was the main source of her happiness. He couldn’t help but always felt happiness and warmth spreading through his body when he saw them together, both of them were actually glowing from the happiness, their laughter always filled up his place, all he wanted after a busy day just to finally arrive home and see them.

“So Maman just called yesterday when you were doing some shopping, that she was planning to have dinner at hers.” He sat down at the table picking out his phone. “Do you think we can manage to stay there for the weekend? I thought we should leave this afternoon. ” 

You picked up Sophie from his feeding chair and let her go playing in the living room with some blocks. 

“Yes sure, but we need to stop at mine. I have to pick up some clothes.” You gathered all the empty cups and plates from the table and walked to the kitchen to put it in the dishwasher. 

“Okay, I’ll go and pick up the SUV and we can stop there on the way to mum’s, how does it sounds for you?”

“Deal!” You looked up from the machine and smiled at him which he answered with a nod and a smile too.

“Okay, we can pick up my stuff but you can’t say anything about my flat!” You turned in your seat to face him, as you were just before to turn on the main street of your flat. He nodded as his eyes were on the road ahead, and indicated before turning. He quietly parked the car and you picked up Sophie from the back of the car and had her sitting on your hips and let her snuggle to your side nuzzling her face into the crook of your neck. Charles remained silent as you walked up to the flat. “That looks like reliable security..” he mumbled when you were opening the door, which only had one lock and the keys were hardly turning in it. You looked back at him with an unamused look. “ It was just a statement.” He lifted his arms up in defense and took the toddler out of your arms and hugged it close to his body.  

“Stay in here I’ll be back in a few.” You pushed the door open and walked in the flat, closing it before he could step in. You closed your eyes before letting out a sigh. You pushed yourself away from the door and walked all the way to your small bedroom, to grab some nicer clothes for the dinner so you are not gonna be in your sweats. You opened the door and flicked the lights on.

“I thought you would never come home.”

“Jesus christ!” You jumped back as the voice cut through the silence. Your eyes snapped to the way of the voice seeing your ex-fiancé sitting on the bed waiting for you. “What the hell? What are you doing here?”

“I was calling you for the whole week, and you were not answering. So I thought to check on you.” 

“I have had no intention talking to you, and I have had no time either, and I don’t have it now. I want you to leave.”

“And I want you to come back.” 

“May I know why? I think you were the one who kicked me out of the flat, if I’m correct. After you fucked you little secretary in your office, while I was next door having the most important meeting of the company.” You folded your arm in front of you. “You can say whatever you want, but I’m not going back to you.”  

“And what will you do? Live here? In this dumpster? While you can have marble flooring and the most luxurious furniture and the fanciest life? You choose this over me?” He jumped up from the bed, trying to take the bag out of your hand while you were stuffing your clothes in. You pulled the bag out of his hands.

“Get out now!” You pointed at the front door looking into his eyes. 

“Y/N, you can’t just give up all we have had. Because of one tiny stumbling. Don’t be ridiculous.”

“One tiny stumbling?” Your voice jumped a few octaves as you stuffed the last piece of clothing in your bag. “Mark, you have fucked your own employee. Hell you have been having affairs behind my back for multiple occasions as I found out. And everyone knew about it. All the time when you have said you went on a business trip abroad, you did not even leave the country, hence not even the city!” You were yelling as you were walking out of the room, heading to the front door.

“Y/N is everything okay? Why are you shouting?” Charles opened the front door, making both of you snapping your heads his way. 

“What is he doing in here?” both men said at the same time looking at each other and back at you.  Your hands ran through your hair trying to calm your mind down.

“Trying to teach me a lesson or something that you are with him, or what?” Mark stepped closer as he was still looking between the two of you.

“Didn’t you say that you are not together anymore?” Charles asked while he did not take his eyes off him. 

“You choose him over me?!” Mark grabbed your upper arm making you snap your head the way of him. 

“Let go of her dude!” Charles stepped closer as you were still having a staring contest with your ex fiancé.

“It’s none of your business Max. “You gritted through your teeth “Let the fuck go of me and get the fuck out! Never want to see you ever again!” You jerked your hand out from his grip and pushed on his right arm making him stumble over his own foot all the way to the door. He looked back at you before disappearing. 

“Are you okay?” Charles’s voice broke the silence of the apartment making you waking up from your trans shaking your head. 

“Yea, let’s go. Need to get ready before that dinner.” You picked up your bag from the floor before heading out the apartment. “Need to call the landlord to change the locks.” You mumbled as you tried to lock the front door

“Or you can give up this and move into my apartment in Monaco. You know how big it is, so if you don’t want to see me then you just simply don’t come to my side. It would be much easier for Sophie too, mom can help because she is much closer to us, especially now that the season will start soon. And your crazy ex won't find you, and last thing I want for you to meet him, when I can't be on your side. Something is not right with this guy and I'm not feeling comfortable leaving you alone with Sophie if he is close to you and us. Don’t need to decide now, just think about it, okay?” He took the bag away from you and lifted Sophie on his arm a bit before he smiled at you. And even you got yourself to have a small smile at him as he was walking down on the hallway to his car.

--------------------

“So how are you? How are you working things out with two kids?” Pascale sat down next to you on the couch looking at the three boys playing with the little girl in the living room. As she passed a glass into your hand filled up with red wine. You were quietly sipping on your wine before answering. 

“You would think a two year old would be more challenging than a 25, no you are wrong.” We both laughed and clinked the glasses. " You are incredible that you raised three boys."

“If you need help just call me anytime okay? I know it’s not easy with a child especially if you just turned out to be a parent out of nowhere. It can be different if the whole starting a family thing is planned and you go through the pregnancy, you have time to prepare yourself, in your case it was not like that. So if you feel like you are overwhelmed just give me a call. Might take a little to arrive in Italy but still.” 

“Charles actually wants to move back to Monaco.” You interrupted her monologue.”Wanna move back to his old place. Saying it’s better for him, for Sophie too, due to the fact she was raised here. And he also pointed out that you would be closer to helping me. So I guess after next week, you don’t need to travel all the way to Italy.” You watched her expression changing, she was paying attention intensely first and then her eyes just went wide and her smile widened. Took out the wineglass from your hand, and put it on the small coffee table in front of you before pulling you into a bone crushing hug. She was the most welcoming woman you have met in your life, always smiling, spreading happiness all over the place. 

“Charles really loves her” She said once you were apart, watching the boys and the little girl together.

“She really loves him too. But I’m afraid she is getting confused. Like she knows that it’s not her dad, but her little brain just wants to tell her to say dad. But she just can’t make it herself.”

“Would you let her call you mom and dad?” She turned at you , studying your face.

“To be honest, I don’t know. I don’t want her to feel left out that she can’t call a person mom and dad, but I don’t want her to forget about her real parents. That won’t be fair with Emily. I can’t take her place up as a mother. “You tried to swallow back your tears and looked up to the ceiling before Pascale grabbed your hand and squeezed it a little bit, making you tear your gaze from the wall and look back at her. “I would rather leave that choice up to her.” You whispered and squeezed her hand back.

“Look at me Y/N. You will never make her forget her parents. Just because if she will call you mom that won’t mean that you can’t keep up their legacy. “ She shook her head” And you already are an amazing mother.” She grabbed both sides of your face, making you look at her eyes deeply. “And she will always be grateful for that.” She kissed your forehead and pulled you closer to her body for a tight hug. You hugged her body back while with your other hand swiped the escaped tear away. 

-- Monaco --

Today was special not because it was Sophie’s first time on the track but it was yours too. You always watched F1 when you were a child with your dad, but never been a huge fan of it. So being on the track was definitely a new thing for you. You picked up the little girl from the car seat and grabbed the bag on the other hand, while you followed Charles to the entrance. He looked back at you two and extended his hand out initiating to give him the big bag full with diapers and other essentials.

“I will walk with you to my driver's room, where you can settle down, and can go back anytime you feel or Sophie feels it’s too much for her okay?” He stopped and lifted his sunglasses up and smiled at you. The past few days your communication was on the minimum, he was busy with the new season, constantly in the gym or in his room on the sim. But since you moved back to Monaco something changed. The atmosphere in the flat changed, the way he acted with you too, he was much calmer, more patient and talkative. There were times when he just came out of the room late at night to have a chat with you, which has never happened when you were living in Italy. He was more devoted. And you opened up a little more to him as well, he was not the same person that you have met three years ago. That person was a boy and now you have had a man living under the same roof as you. He was joking with you, teasing and even openly flirting with you from time to time. And you won’t lie, you liked it and even participated in the little flirting and teasing.   “Here one for you, and one for the princess.” He grabbed two headphones.

“No way she has her name on it.”You laughed when you saw on one side it stated Sophie’s name and on the other side it said “principessa del paddock (princess of the paddock)” “Can I get one like this too?” 

“We can talk about it.” He winked at you and opened the driver’s room. “You just need to say yes.” You looked at him confused, making him roll his eyes. “For that date…”

“I thought you were joking that night about it.” You shook your head and placed the bag on the small table. A few weeks ago happened when he casually hinted away that you could be his date on one of the galas and maybe even have dinner with him before that night. You really thought that he was just nice and did not think it could have been a date.

“Never joke about those things, you should have known it by now. “He smiled at you sadly “ Okay, so I gotta go, but we can meet up later. “He picked his phone up from the table and walked out the door before he turned around ”Oh! Before I forget! Press will be circling around here like sharks..So be careful okay?”

“Always.” You answered before he closed the door and left the two of you alone.” Babygirl, boys are confusing. My suggestion would be to avoid them as much as you can, maybe when they are around their 30s they can be better…”You looked at the toddler who was sitting on the bed looking back at you with her beautiful doe eyes and started to giggle. “Yea I know my love life is a joke, no need to laugh about it that obviously.” You shook your head laughing.

The whole paddock was buzzing, everyone was running around like crazy. Media was running around capturing every moment of the seventh race of the season while teams were walking up and down the road of the paddock. The garage was busy as well, mechanics were preparing the cars for opening laps. You were intimidated about the crowd not knowing where you can and cannot go, did not want to be in the way of anyone. Wanted to stay in the drivers room, but somehow Sophie was more interested about the things that went on outside, she was throwing a full tantrum about not wanting to play with the toys inside, all she wanted to open the door and be outside. Nothing was good for her at the moment, not if you picked her up, not if you tried to distract her somehow, so you just grabbed her hand and walked out of the garage.

As soon as you planted your feet outside different media outlets just swarmed you.

“Y/N! This is your first time on the track? How do you feel about it?” One reporter showed the microphone into your face, while the other five reporter were pushing on him. You pushed the little girl behind you, letting go of her and as you were trying to protect her with your body. 

“Y/N! How does Sophia feel like being on the track?” Everyone was just loudly asking question from left to right as they were pushing you further away from the garage.

“Please! Take a few steps back! “ You pleaded “Sophie?” You turned around looking for the toddler as you have not felt her little hands on the back of your thighs anymore. “Sophia, where are you!” You looked around frantically as you tried to grab a glimpse of the little girl's figure out of the crowd. “Sophia! " You called her again, but couldn't find her. Panic started to rise up in your body, making your throat closing and your breath quickened. “Get out of the way! Where is Sophia?” You pushed yourself through the crowd of reporters not caring about that you have knocked a few microphones out of the reporter’s hand. “No, please god…” You whispered as you were looking around in the paddock, panic fully spread through your body. You started to run the way of the Ferrari’s garage as you kept calling out for the little girl. 

“Y/N! What's going on? “ Carlos grabbed on your arm making you stumble in your own feet.

“Y/N? Why are you crying?” Charles stepped next to his teammate, the smile disappeared on his face instantly.”Where is Sophie?” He looked behind you and snapped his sight back at you.

“I.. I don’t know. She was really cranky, she wanted to go out, we went out for a walk and the media just surrounded us. “You were looking around, maybe she could spot her before turning back to the drivers. “They pushed and pulled on us, I showed her behind me, and next thing I know, she just disappeared. “ You looked at him, tried to calm your breath so the words you were saying were understandable for them.” Charles I lost her.” You summarized the past happenings through the hiccups and sobs.

“Okay I’ll go to the loudspeaker and ask them to say that she is missing.” Carlos swiped his palm on your shoulder with a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, we will find her. She can’t go that far away.”

“Come on, we need to go and check if she went the other way.” Charles grabbed on your right hand and pulled you down on the way where you came from. “Please don’t cry.” He squeezed your hand. You were shouting Sophia’s name left to right, causing everyone to look at you, before they started to help looking for the little girl. You were a full mess, crying and screaming the little girl's name as you were looking around. 

“Charles!” Max shouted at our way, making us stop and turned to his way. And there she was, snuggling on the chest of Max, as he was waving. You ripped your hand out of Charles’s and ran down to the way of the paddock.

“Mommy!”She giggled as Max put her down and she ran to your arms. You picked her up and hugged tightly to your body and held her head close to your neck and combed your fingers through her hair. Charles wrapped his arms around you two and rocked you back and forth as you were trying to calm your cries. 

“Sophie, I was so scared. Baby I’m so sorry.” You pushed the little girl away from your body and looked into her eyes. Her smile faded away as she grabbed your face and looked at you and at Charles.

“Thank you Max.” You lifted your head up and wiped the tears away from your cheek. Stepped out of Charles embrace and hugged his body with your left arm. “Thank you really.”

“No worries, she was just wandering around in here, smiling at everyone, and she just walked in and grabbed my hand. I was just about to walk to your garage hearing that you were looking for her when I saw you too.”He explained and patted Sophie's head, “She was so curious about everything.” He smiled and pinched her cheeks. 

“Thank you man.” Charles shook his hand before wrapping his arm around your waist leading you out of the garage. “ We should head back.” You walked quietly down on the way back to the garage.

“I’m sorry.” You broke the silence as you walked into the driver’s room.” You were right..”

“About what?” He looked at you puzzled, closing the door behind him.

“Me, not capable of this..” You sighed as you sat down in the room watching Sophie playing with the blocks on the carpet. “I’m the worst parent ever.”

“Oh Y/N..” He rubbed his face and sat down next to you pulling your hand away from your lap as you were anxiously playing with your fingers, picking on your skin. “I was not right. You are the most incredible parent.”

“But I lost her..”

“And we found her, and she was actually doing perfectly fine. Don’t beat yourself up, please. Chérie, look at me.” He lifted up your face by your chin, he swiped the single tear away that escaped. ”Would you think that she would call you mommy if you would be the worst parent ever?” He studied your face and grabbed the piece of hair out of your face and put it behind your ear before continuing. “You could not hear it because of the panic. But this little angel just saw you and instantly said mommy. And you are the best mom ever, and you are capable of so many things in this world you can’t even imagine. You wake up everyday for this girl, taking care of her, running a full household, working at the same time.  You just amaze us everyday.” He leaned closer and touched your foreheads together as his eyes never left yours. “And if we would have time I would continue telling you all the things that make you amazing.” He whispered as his eyes went back and forth between your lips and your eyes. You’ve never been this close in your life, you could not tear your gaze away from his beautiful greenish eyes with those specks of brown in it. Your breath caught up in your throat as you were looking down at his lips while you licked your own. A loud knock on the door made you two jump apart. 

“Charles! It’s time for the free practice! “

“Coming!” He shouted back and got up from the bed. “I’ll be back soon okay? You can watch it on the TV here too, or you can come down to the garage. Lorenzo will probably be there.” He picked up on the earcovers and gave it to you. You smiled at him and nodded as he crouched down and gave a little kiss on the top of Sophie’s head before walking to the door to open it.

“Charles!” You stood up making him turn back looking at you surprised. “Kick some ass il predestinato!” You smiled at him, and he shook his head laughing before stepping back and grabbed on your cheeks before kissing your forehead.

“Will do Chérie.” He looked into your eyes and winked at you with a cheeky smile and left the room.

-----------

“Are you ready?” Charles knocked on the bathroom door.

“In a minute! “ You mumbled as you were lining your eyes for the tenth time, because those eyeliner just did not want to be symmetrical. 

“You said it ten minutes ago.” He laughed on the other side of the room. 

“And it will be another ten minutes if you keep bothering me.” You giggled and sprayed some hairspray on your hair. You looked at your reflection in the mirror, adjusting the strap of the dress on your left shoulder. The red dress were hugging your curves all the right places ending it around your waistline and falling down in waves till the floor. You never thought red would suit you, especially this type of red, that were the perfect color match of the Ferrari’s shade. The top of the dress really helped with your look of your breasts with a modest cut in the middle. You were not a tall person, usually you said that you have short legs too, but in this dress with the slit on your right leg just made it look like you have beautiful long legs. And the whole look was just put together with the black stiletto. You felt beautiful and powerful and sexy. 

You opened the door and walked out the room.

“Mommy!”Sophie squealed” Pretty! “She clapped her hands together as she was jumping on the bed of your room, making Charles lift his gaze up from his phone as he was sitting next to her on the bed. His mouth was agape and sat upright, putting the phone next to him on the bed.

“Yes baby, mommy is beautiful.” He whispered and got up from the bed. He was wearing the standard black suit and trousers with the Ferrari logo on it, which looked so good on him, making him so handsome. You felt your cheeks getting warmer as you blushed due to him staring at you with sparkling eyes. And the word mommy and beautiful out of his mouth just made you feel a hundred times more prettier. He has never said mommy to you since Sophie said it in the weekend, but somehow it just made your whole stomach do a somersault and a warm feeling spread through you. You truly felt special. 

“Thank you, thank you! “You giggled as you twirled around making the little girl clapping her hands. You leaned down and kissed the side of Sophie’s cheek which made her giggle even louder, then grabbed Charles’s cheek too and kissed his also. He stopped and started at you with a smile on his face as his ears turned red just before his cheeks. He was about to say something when the door opened and Pascale walked in. 

“Come on kids, they are waiting down at you. Oh my gosh Y/N, you look stunning!” Pascale looked up from her phone and stopped in the entrance as she saw the two of you. “You two are just so beautiful!” She clapped her hands together. 

“Merci beaucoup Maman.” Charles walked to his mother and kissed her cheek. 

“Have a great night. No need to rush home okay?” She gave you your small purse and kissed your cheek, you smiled at her wildly and followed Charles out of the room.

The elevator’s door opened and in the hall the group of people turned around looking at the two of you walking out. A few claps and whistles went around from Carlos and Pierre as you got closer making you blush for the umpteenth time of the night.

“Incroyable! “ Pierre said as he caught your hand and made you turn around. “You look stunning!” He pulled you closer and hugged you with one arm. 

“Merci.” You smiled at him and tucked a string of hair behind your ear. “Are we waiting for someone else?” You looked around in the lobby before your eyes stopped at Charles who was looking at his phone. 

“Yes, one more person and we can go.” He answered and looked up. “There she is!” He pointed and all of you turned to the left seeing a blonde woman walking down your way, throwing her hair every time she took a step. She was wearing the same shade of red as your dress just with a bigger cut on the cleavage area and the slit on the side came all the way up to her upper thigh. 

“Hello there, sorry for being late, my hairdresser just took longer than expected. "She stopped next to Charles and pecked him on the lips. 

“Hi, I’m Amanda!” She turned to you all and shook hands with the guys first before stopped and stared at you.” Oh you must be Y/N, the one who raised that pretty little girl with Charles.” Her smile was wide, even looked like a snarl as she grabbed your hand and squeezed it tightly and shook it before pulling you closer and gave two kisses on your cheeks. You were taken back by the way she just greeted you so you just mumbled a quiet hello back to her. “The taxi is waiting actually outside, but could not get one taxi, so Charles, Carlos and I will go in one, and you two in another.” She clapped her hand together looking at you.” Hope it’s not a problem.” 

“No, of course not.” You answered, shaking your head, still confused about how she got in here, and who she was. Charles has never mentioned that he has someone. 

“Perfect!” She squealed, hooked her arm with Charles’s and started to walk out from the lobby. 

You turned around and looked at the French driver next to you with a confused expression, which he just answered with a shrug and linked your arms together and pulled you out of the hotel.

“Who is she?” You asked as you were sipping on your margaritas at the table as you looked at the pair talking to the other team members. For the whole night she was holding on to him like she was afraid if she let go he would disappear. You tried not to be judgmental and put your thoughts aside but you felt deep down that something was not right with her. The whole thing was just weird. 

“One of the Ferrari’s investor’s daughter. As far as I know, her dad put down a big check for them for this season’s car.” Pierre leaned back in his chair as he was playing with the glass in his hand. “They got together at one of the parties last week.” He added as you were taking a sip from your drink, making it go down in the wrong pipe, alcohol burning your throat. “What? You didn’t know?” He looked at you surprised and you shook your head as you were coughing. Somehow you felt nauseous and disappointed at the same time as you took a glance at the pair standing far away chatting and laughing with the group. 

“We don’t talk about love life to be honest. But never mentioned that he has a girlfriend, especially when he asked me on a date last week.” You placed the empty glass on the table. Pierre studied you quietly with a smirk on his lips. “What now?” You looked at him unamused

“You like him.” He states casually and lifted up his glass of whisky and took a sip. “Admit it.”  

“Pierre.” You rolled your eyes and pushed the glass away from you. “There is nothing to admit.” 

“Okay, so if there is nothing to admit. Like you do like him.” He took a final sip of the glass and placed the now empty one on the table. He placed his hands on his thighs before getting up from the chair, extending his hand out for you.” Come let’s have a shot, and dance with me.” You laughed and took his hand. “And go on a date with me.” He pulled you closer to his body, wrapping one arm around your waist. You looked surprised at him not answering which just made him chuckle. He winked at you tugging along all the way to the bar. He ordered two tequila shots from the bartender, and without even a hesitation you threw the shot back, enjoying the burning sensation down your throat all the way to your stomach. 

“Okay.” You said out of nowhere, making him turn to your way looking surprised. “I’ll go on a date with you.” His smile even got wider and motioned to the waiter asking for another round. The night ended with many other shots and cocktails making you unstable in your heels and a terrible headache in the morning. You were on your way to the restaurant of the hotel with Sophie grabbing on your pinky to have breakfast.

“Good morning.” You greeted the group already sitting at the table making them turn around. You lifted up the little girl and placed her in the feeding chair next to the empty one waiting for you. 

“Good morning, how are you feeling?” Pierre looked at you with a smirk on his face. 

“Headache. Just gonna check the coffee machine and something for Sophie.” You pointed behind you. 

“Coffee is already here, though you might need it after the amount that you have had.” He pushed the cup to your side making you smile at him. 

“Thanks, you are a lifesaver .” You smiled at him widely and turned to check the offer for breakfast at the table when you saw Charles and Amanda walking to your way. 

“Hey Y/N. Did not see when you left yesterday.” Charles smiled as he was holding on to his cup, while the blonde just nodded to your way and sat down at the table. “Oh shit sorry I forgot your coffee.” He looked up from his mug.

“No worries, Pierre has already taken care of it, but thanks. "You smiled at him and patted his shoulder before walking to the way of the tables. 

“So did you enjoy last night?” Carlos asked as you were mixing the yogurt for Sophia in her plate with some fresh fruits. 

“Yes it was fun.” You answered as you tried to feed the kid. Mornings were usually hard for you, till you had a big mug of coffee you were not in your usual chatty self, but you forced yourself to be nice.You were about to continue your thoughts about last night.

“Oh it was so much fun! To meet all those incredible people there!” Amanda jumped in the conversation loudly making everyone look at her. You grabbed the spoon harder and took a deep breath before moving your gaze to her way with an amused expression. Your head was still pounding and the squeaking voice was really not helping with it. “And the food. Oh my gosh it was so good. Right Y/N?” You could see it from the corner of your eye that Pierre was having a blast with the awkward conversation that went on between you and the blonde. 

“It was pretty shit to be honest.” You looked at her unamused, making everyone burst out laughing, even Charles. “Never understood the concept of those fancy foods smeared all over a huge plate.” You shrugged and turned back to the girl but she was not paying attention to the food she was more about to play with Charles’s hands and the bracelets on his wrist. After a few more tries you just gave up, and grabbed your coffee and drank from it. If she wants to eat she can eat later, you are not rushing anywhere. 

“Hey Sophie! Baby! “ Amanda leaned over the table and dropped some berries on her plate.” Heard you call Y/N your maman. If you want to, you can call me Maman too.” The whole table just stopped and everyone went quiet. You looked up from your cup and deadly stared at the woman sitting on the other side of the table, switching your sight at Charles studying his surprised face, trying to read anything from it. You narrowed your eyes slightly and your fingers squeezed the porcelain harder than before. He kept your gaze and you could see it in his eyes he was trying to initiate something. That woman really has some thick skin on her face.

“No, thanks.” Sophie chirped back and tossed the berries down from her plate. You could not help but let out a loud snort nearly spilling the coffee on the table. Covering the widening smile on your lips with the back of your right hand. 

“Savage.” Carlos mumbled diving back down on his plate trying to hide his smile spreading on his face. You looked back at Charles watching him lifting up the napkin, hiding his smile under it as well.

“I’m gonna get another cup of coffee.” Amanda pushed the chair back with such a force and stomped away from the table. 

“At least she was polite about it and said thanks.” You added and placed the cup on the table, everyone around the table started to laugh and tried to cover it with coughing while Sophie was giggling loudly and clapping with her small hands, the smile on her face was so wide and proud, she knew that she was the cause of the laugh and she loved it. You looked at the man sitting on the other side of Sophie, Charles was now silently laughing as his shoulders moved up and down giving it totally away.

@YNscameraroll New year, new challenges, new lifestly and new season is ON.

-- Monte Carlo --

“I’ve asked mum to come for babysitting tomorrow.” He walked in the kitchen leaning on the kitchen island as you were preparing some snacks for Sophie. You were back in the flat in Monaco before the next upcoming race. 

“What for?” You looked at him confused. 

“For the event. You forgot about it? I wrote it on the message board.” He pointed behind him on the fridge where you kept that board you usually wrote everything. The colorful board had different type of events and messages and even grocery list on it. It was perfectly color coded Pink was for Sophie, orange was for you and obviously red was for Charles.

“Oh shit. I totally forgot. “You put your palm on your forehead as you remembered.” I can’t go tomorrow.” 

“What? Why? It does not say anything for you tomorrow.” He looked at the board checking the days on it 

“I  forgot to write there. But I can’t really go. “You scratched the back of your neck.”I have a date.” 

“A date?” He looked back at you with his eyebrows furrowed. “With who?”

“Can’t you just take Amanda? She would enjoy it a lot.” You turned back to the island and continued to cut up some fruits on the plate.

“Don’t change the topic. With who Y/N?”

“Okay alright. With Pierre.” 

“The fuck?” 

“Language! “You turned around looking at him. “ We have a three year old in this house with ears that the FBI could use as a listening device, she is that good and you know it.” You scolded him and hit his upper arm. You both needed to be extra careful what you have said because that girl had radars instead of her ears. She has already learned some swear words that somehow slipped out of yours or his mouth from time to time.

“How did you get together?” He was rubbing his arm with a painful look on his face.

“It’s nothing really. He asked me out at that gala last week when you were all over the place with Miss blondie.”

“I see. Okay cool, hope you will have fun.” 

“I hope too, thanks.” You smiled at him and washed your hands in the sink. “So? Are you gonna ask her tomorrow?”

“Nah, just gonna stay at home with Sophie, and we are gonna have the best night of our life.” 

“Okay cool.” 

“Yes, very cool” he picked up the plate from the kitchen island and walked out of the kitchen leaving you confused.

“Okay, you know the drill. Even if it’s Friday she can’t stay up till 10, because tomorrow she will be cranky. And for sleeping she will need that bunny she got from your mom, and..” you rambled as you walked out of the bathroom trying to put one earring in your ear. 

“Y/N! Stop! ” He grabbed your upper arm and stopped you. “ We are gonna be fine! You look beautiful by the way.” He looked up and down on you. You were wearing a black pencil skirt with a white button down you just tugged casually in the front of the skirt. It was a casual but elegant style. You smiled at him meekly and tucked a string of hair behind your ear.

“Thank you!” Your phone rang on the dining table.” He is here. I’ll be back in a few hours. Have fun.” You leaned down and kissed the top of the little girl's head and turned to Charles and squeezed his hand. “If you need…”

“I’ll call you or my mom. I know. Now go! He is waiting” his smile was not reaching his ears as usual, he let go of your hand and opened the door for you. 

You opened the blue sports car's door and slid in.

“Hey” you greeted and turned to kiss both sides of his cheek.

“Hi, you look stunning.” He smiled and turned the car on and started to drive the way to the restaurant. The whole dinner went well. You were chatting freely above your dishes, jumping in topics, never a quiet moment at your table. 

“So have you ever went on a date with him?” He asked once he finished his cup of water by the end of the dinner.

“With who?” 

“Charles.”

“Oh, yes once. It was a blind date set up by the parents of Sophie. Can’t say it ended well though.” You pulled the side of your mouth and put your fork down.

“No way!” His mouth gaped as you looked at him confused waiting for him to continue “ you were that girl who left him at the table. That’s hilarious.” 

“So he did tell you about it.. just left my name out of it.” You rolled your eyes.”Was not hard because he did not even remember me.”

“He did, but he told me that he was the biggest dick in his life and he was so mad at himself for leaving out the opportunity to have a normal date with a beautiful girl like her.” He picked your hand off the table by your pinky. “And he is right, it was his biggest mistake. Because you are really incredible.” He played with your fingers on the table. “But I also know that I can’t shoot my shot. And before you start to oppose, I just have to look at you and see the way you look at him. That’s how every men wants that one girl in their life to look at him like that. And you might be blind as well. No I’m not right. Both of you guys are blind.” He laughed and lifted your hand up to his mouth to lay a kiss on the back of your hand. “I would like to thank you for the date. I really enjoyed the time with you. And if ever you want to go and have dinner with me, not as a date, I’m always up for it, okay?” 

“We can have a non-date dinner or lunch.” You winked at him smiling widely. “Thank you Pierre.” You stood up from the table and walked to his side and hugged him. 

“Your welcome Chérie.” He hugged you back. “Come on, let's go home.” He kissed the top of your head and led you out of the restaurant.

“Hello, I’m back.” You whispered as you opened the door, peaking your head in the living room seeing that the TV was still on.

“Hey” Charles sat up and muted the tv.” Sophie is sleeping already. So how was the date? You came back pretty early.” He followed you to the kitchen as you took down two glasses from the cupboard and picked a red wine out of the fridge 

“Was good.” You slid one of the glasses to his way before taking a sip of yours.” But not a date.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“We just realized it can't be a date.”

“So you two are not?” You shook your head nibbling on the side of the glass, contemplating if you should ask it or not. But the amount of alcohol you have had during the dinner made you feel courageous and curious.

“You and Amanda?” 

“No, I broke it off after the morning of the gala.” He shook his head and took a sip of his glass too. You let out the breath you were holding in before placing the glass on the table. 

“She was a bitch.” you commented and he got surprised by your bold comment and smiled at you widely. “ You know I’m honest” You shrugged and giggled.

“Yes she was.” Took a swig from his glass.

“Sophie really told her off.” You giggled and he started to laugh as well. 

“She learned from the best.”  He added between laughs. You were looking at each other through your glasses, before you placed yours down on the counter and walked closer to him. Your eyes never left him. “What are you doing?”

“Hoping I’m not making a bad choice.” You whispered as you grabbed on both of the sides of his face and pulled him closer to you, smashing your lips on his. You felt he was surprised by you and instantly you felt panic. You were about to break the kiss off when his arm wrapped around your waist and pulled you closer to his body as he kissed you back. You moaned into the kiss as one of his hands slid up on your body all the way to the back of your neck. His lips were soft and you could taste the red wine he just drank.

You linked your arms behind his head and played with the hair in the back of his neck. You stepped back all the way till you hit the kitchen counter, with one easy move he lifted you up and placed you on the kitchen island and started to kiss down your face all the way to your neck. You lifted his shirt up and threw it somewhere on the kitchen floor. You were panting and you tilted your head to the other way making more room for him. 

“You are incredible.” He mumbled in your neck, his hands were grabbing on your thighs as you spread them apart leaving him more space to pull your body in his. “You have no idea how long I have wanted to do this.”Hands started to leave your thighs and pulled the tucked shirt out of your trousers and started to open up the buttons. His lips were about to kiss the top of your breasts when you jumped apart as Sophie called out from the other side of the living room, she walked out rubbing her eyes tiredly. You grabbed the shirt and tried to hold it together covering yourself up, as Charles stepped away from you and walked up to the little girl. 

“Yes baby? Is everything okay?”

“Bad dream.” She grabbed his hand and pulled her back all the way to her room. He looked back at you still sitting on the counter before disappearing at the corner. You jumped down from the counter and drank the leftover wine from the glass while you redo some buttons on your shirt. You released a big sigh and tried to steady your breath. You ran your hands through your hair and rubbed down your face, your skin on your face was hot. Stepping out of your heels and walking down on the hallway as you passed the room of Sophie’s you peaked in. The little girl was sleeping on the top of Charles on her small bed and under her there was the loudly snoring Charles. You smiled at the sweet picture in front of you and walked in the room and grabbed the blanket before covering them with it and quietly left the room.

@YNscameraroll You knew that phrase that if something is quiet with kids, you better check it out. And you found them sleeping in her little bed.

Two arms wrapped around your waist from the back which made you jump as you were filing up your mug with coffee. He pulled your body closer to his as he put his chin on your shoulder, his hot breath fanning your face. 

“ Good morning beautiful” His voice was raspy that just made goosebumps running all over your body. 

“ How was the sleeping in the small bed?” You both giggled and you filled the other cup with coffee too, sliding it to the side for him.

“ I’m so sorry.” He kissed your neck which made your breath caught up in your throat. “I will make it up for you, okay?” He whispered in your right ear as his left hand’s index finger was drawing shapes on your hips where your top rolled up. You leaned back into his chest more, the thought of his fingers on your skin, caressing you and his lips so close to your ear just made your knees shaking. “Just it has to wait because someone is lurking on us. “ He turned you around and kissed the tip of your nose before letting go of you and walked to the kitchen table with the mug in his hand. “ But I’m gonna take you out on a proper date tonight. And we will see where it takes us.”

“This is where we had our blind date.” You turned to him on the passenger seat as he parked the car in front of the restaurant.

“Thought we should redo our first date.” He smiled at you and got out of the car before jogging to your side and opened it for you, extending a hand to help you out. He laid his hand on the small of your back as you walked to the restaurant where the waiter guided you to the back of a small table, separated from the other guests.

“You are on the right track, you arrived on time.” You winked at him, making him chuckle as he was sitting opposite of you. “Hope you are not gonna leave me here either.”

“We will see.”

You opened the front door of your flat, and just took a step in before Charles grabbed your waist and turned you to face him, without hesitating he pulled you closer and kissed you. You instantly wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer, kissing him back. The two of you were backing up on the way to the livingroom, stumbling over a few toys left around on the floor, making the two of you giggle. He easily grabbed the back of your thighs and lifted you up and pushed your back to the wall. His fingers were digging into your skin making you moan into his mouth. His lips left your and started to kiss down all the way on your neck.

“Yours or mine?” He mumbled into your skin and let you down on your feet, you grabbed his hand and pulled him into your room. Planting both your palm on his chest you pushed him more into your room all the way to your bed where you pushed a little more on him, making him falling on the furniture.

“What’s that?” He asked and sat up before pulling out a plastic block under the blanket. You looked at each other and burst out laughing. “Life with a kid, huh?” He threw the block on the other side of the room and grabbed your wrist and pulled you down on him. “Finally we can finish something that got disturbed the other day.” His hand went behind your head and pulled you down on him for a kiss. Hands were running up and down on each other’s body, pulling on the clothes that you were wearing impatiently. You broke the kiss and sat back on his lap, grabbing on the hem of your dress that had rolled up till your waist and pulled it over your head and threw it somewhere in the room. Leaving you just in your black lace underwear. “Putain” He mumbled, staring at your body, before his eyes met yours again. You started to unbutton his shirt and opened it up so his beautiful upper body were on display now. He was waiting for you for an other kiss but just before your lips would touch you slides down and started to kiss your way down on his chest down to his stomach, you could feel under your fingers and your lips that his breathing got heavier with every kiss, and the pull of his muscles. You reached his waist and before opening the button of his black jeans you looked up at him. The way he was watching you just made you feel more hotter than ever, his hungry eyes were watching you, waiting for your next move. You opened his jeans with an easy move and pulled it down. Just as you hooked your fingers in his boxers he grabbed your hands and pull you up, before turning the two of you, making him on the top. You opened your legs more, to leave him more space to get between them.

“As much as I want to look at you all day in this set, I need to check out what you have under it.” He kissed you with such a force that let you breathless as his fingers got under the strap of your bra pulling it down, freeing your breasts, latching his mouth on the soft skin. You stretched your back with a moan as he sucked on the skin and the nipples. You raised your hips to have some friction with calming down the burning sensation in your core. He growled on your breasts as he lowered his hips down, pushing it on yours, feeling his bulge through your soaked panties. 

“Charles, please” You whispered and let your hands ran through his hair, gripping on his soft hair and pulled him up for a kiss. “I need you.” You moaned into his mouth.

“I can feel it chérie.” He chuckled and laid his palm on your hot core that soaked through the lacy material. He pulled down his boxers as his other hand was still rubbing on your crotch, making you squirm under him. He sat back and grabbed the sides of your panties and pulled down with an easy move, leaving your completely naked in front of him for the first time. For a minute he was just looking down at you, mesmerized by the beauty of you, lust were radiating off your body. You were the most beautiful and sexiest thing he has seen before, and he just couldn't get enough of the sight. “Tu es si incroyablement belle (You are so amazingly beautiful). I’m a lucky bastard’ He smiled as he leaned closer, pecking your lips.

“I want to feel you, please.” You mumbled on his lips, moving your hips feeling his tip between your folds. He was hesitating.  “I'm on the pill.” Without another second you could feel the familiar stretch inside of you as he pushed himself in. Both of you moaned because of the feeling, you grabbed on his upper arm, digging your nails into his skin, as he pushed himself further and further in you. "Putain, you are so thight." he growled and breathed heavily as he stopped for a few times before sliding in more. You slided your hand between the two of you to the way of your clit to start a circle on your clit to help with the pain and turn it into more pleasure. He started to move slowly as he was kissing and sucking on your neck. "Please, faster." That was the only thing that could come out of your mouth. Your minds were in full ecstasy, your nails scraping through his back. The only thing was on your mind on repeat was his name. He picked up the pace and now he was slamming into you in a deep and fast rhythm. “God.. you are so good” You could feel your orgasm coming in a second but with him at that pace you could feel he was getting closer also. All it took were a few moves and you were screaming in pleasure while you came over his dick. And it did not take longer for him to follow you,feeling him twitching inside of you and with a loud grunt he closed his eyes and let his head fall in the crook of your neck. He rolled off you, pulling you close to his body, still inside of you, leaving you still in full bliss. Your panting was filling up the quiet room before you cleared your throat and spoke.“ You really made up for the first date.” You looked up at him, he was looking down on you with sparkling eyes as he was chuckling.

“ I will try my best to make up for all the mistakes that I have made, letting you walk away.” He kissed the tip of your nose and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. You got up from bed, and headed to the bathroom, just before stepping in the room you turned back.

“Wanna take a shower?” He was laying on your bed, his arms were tucked behind his head. He was the most handsomest thing you have seen in your life till now, his eyes were loving full with admiration, that could make you blush anytime.  “Maybe I can make something up for you too. We still have time before Sophie is back.” You wiggled your shoulders teasingly “ And I may have the biggest shower in the whole house, two people can easily fit.” His eyes grew wide, and threw the blanket on the side and jumped out of the bed, crossing the room and picked you up by the waist making you screech and burst out laughing as he went into the bathroom. 

—————————————

Everything has been perfect. You’ve never imagined that after that night where everything took a 180 degree turn can turn into something this good. You traveled through Europe with Charles and his team, cheering for him at races with Sophie. Those weekends you spent together the three of you as a little family. When you were back in Monaco for a few days together you were all over each other. It was like a dream, you found someone who supported you in everything, someone who you felt the happiest and the most secure.

“Have you planned your life how you want it to look like, when you were younger?” He asked, breaking the silence as you were sitting on his yacht, watching his family and friends chatting and laughing as music was quietly playing in the background. You were enjoying the little break between race weekends, and what could have been better than spending the time on the yacht if the weather is finally warm. You were sitting on the big sofa in the back of the board with some of his friends. He was looking at the pair sitting on the other side of the deck, the young lady was sitting back on the furniture, locking her hands on top of her belly, she was trying to find a position where she was feeling comfortable with her pregnant belly as she was watching his fiancé playing with Sophie.

“I think most of the people on this planet have an idea about their future.” You turned to him, swirling the wine in your glass.

You knew well that once you will reach this topic. You knew really well that Charles was a true family man. He always said it. He always had one of his family member around him, never a day when he did not speak one of his siblings or his mum. He said it multiple times that he loves kids, and you could see it with Sophie too, he was a born-to-be father. He had told in interviews before too that he want to have at least three kids, he wants a big family. Till this point you always tried to avoid this topic, because you knew it well that he won’t like your answer. And it’s a delicate topic for you two. Either way you knew it that one day you have to talk about it, and you were so scared that it will change the whole dynamic of your relationship. You were frightened how he will take it, or what his decision will be. You knew that you can’t force him, if he wants to go you need to let him go, he can’t “waste” his time with someone who can’t give that one thing that he really wants.

“ And you Charles, have you thought that at the age of twenty five you will have a three years old?” His little brother jumped over the back of the carpet and sat down now next to you.

“ Three years ago I was a dumb ass twenty two years old, who was jumping from girl to girl. '' He looked at you, you just smiled and shook your head. You knew he was talking about that date you have had three years ago. “ Who knows, maybe if things were different now I would be a married man and have a beautiful little girl with the same green eyes as Y/N.” He winked at you and the smile froze on your face as you were staging back at him. Tearing your gaze at him and looked down at your glass in your hand, you were unable to look into his eyes.

“What about you Y/N” Arthur leaned closer to you, nudging your right shoulder a little with his left shoulder. “ Have you thought about when you want to marry and have kids?”

“ About marriage yes, kids no.”

“ You don’t want kids?” Arthur asked back

“ Can we talk about this later?” You looked at him as more of his friends were closer to you than before. You really did not want to have this conversation with him, when others were around you, just because you don’t know how he will react if he will hear it. “ I think I’ll fill up my glass again, if you excuse me.” You got up and walked down the small stairs all the way to the kitchen, grabbing the neck of the wine bottle and tried to pull the cork out of it. It was stuck.

“ Let me help you. “ An arm stretched over our arm taking the bottle out of your hand, and pull out the cork easily. “Why did you run away that quickly? Sorry if Arthur was asking it that way, sometimes his English needs a little morphing on it. He did not want to come out as rude.” Charles took the glass out of your hand too and filled it with wine.

“ It was not Arthur. He did nothing wrong, he was just asking questions, being curious. He is a lovely kid, really. It was about the topic.”

“ About marriage? Please, I did not pop this topic up because I want to rush something with you. I’m sorry if it came out like this..” He was rambling and scratching the back of his neck. You smiled and grabbed both of his hands which made him stop and look at you. You were standing quietly for a few seconds looking at each others eyes, his eyes were wondering around you face, studying your feature. Hoping he may find it what can be the problem.

“ Charles, I thought we could talk about this later, maybe more private but I think it's better if we just get over it now. Because I think this is going to be a dealbreaker for you, and it’s been consuming me for months now. I just did not want to talk about this over Facetime while you are on the other side of the planet.”

“ You know that you can tell me everything. And you have been honest with always, so please go on.”

“ I was not intimidated by the topic of our conversation, however one topic is sensitive for me. Marriage is always a thing that most girls dream of even in their childhood. I was dreaming about it, and still I hope that one day I will say that “ I do” at the altar with someone who is the love of my life. Although starting a family is something that I don’t dream about. “You stepped away and hopped on the kitchen counter. ”When I was sixteen I wanted to have kids, even if I can only have one, but now at the age of twenty eight, no I don’t. And I have,sorry let me correct myself. We have Sophie too. And it’s magical, I love her with all of my heart, but I’m not able to have kids. And it’s nothing connected to my career, because I have got this one before, because I’m way too career driven or whatever bullshit that I have got from other people before. That’s not true, it’s just that I’m infertile.” You took a sip from your glass before continuing. “ I was sixteen when I had an operation, which led to the point that I can’t have kids.” You finished with your monologue and waited a few seconds before dared to look up from your glass at him. He was still standing there, looking at you with no expression on his face. Just staring at you. You swallowed thickly,you felt anxious spread though your body, your worst nightmare was about to erupt. “ It’s shocking, I know. And not something that you just expected, or wanted to ever hear. Also I could not keep it as a secret anymore. Although I want you to know that you are free, I’m not tying you down, not gonna force you.You decide on your own, and I won’t be mad. All I’m asking to be honest with me, if you are feeling that this is something you don’t want just tell me. I can’t let it happen again, I can’t just wake up one day and get to know that I’m cheated on, because I can’t give you what most of the women can. If you want to break things off with me, tell me. We can take care of Sophie, and act civil at the same time. “ You whipped the tears away that were falling freely on your cheeks. “I’m so sorry Charles.” You whispered. He was still standing still at the entrance of the kitchen, not saying a word. Defeated, you jumped down from the counter, you knew he needed some time to process everything. You went around the counter. “If you need time, I get it. I won’t rush you. If you want to stay alone, I can go back to your mother's house as long as you need it.

“Y/N!” He cleared his throat and called after you on your way on the stairs. “ I won’t walk away, I won’t fuck up this time. I promised it. I just need some time”

“You won’t fuck up everything, I’ll wait for you. You smiled at him painfully and turned and walked back to the group, while picking up the bag. “ Hey Pascale. Can I sleep at your place with Sophie?” You touched her shoulder, making her focus on you as you asked. Worry ran through her face, before she smiled at you nodding.

“Do you think that it’s a good idea?” You asked Pierre as you made your way down the hallway of their motorhome. “We haven’t really talked in like three days now.” You were anxious about this idea, but Pierre was determined.

“Please, he has been a mess. Not because of what you have talked about, but that he does not have you in his life.” He wrapped his arm around your shoulder as Sophie was sitting on his other arm. “And he was the one who got the tickets. So he wanted you here. Go, get changed, I have everything in my room and I’ll see you girls outside.” He kissed the top of your head just before handing over the toddler.

“Oh Soph, remember when we talked about boys? “ You looked at the beautiful little girl sitting on the small couch in the Alpine driver’s room after you both changed your clothes.

She was beaming and clapping her hands on the sofa wearing the small ferrari coat which had the number 16 on the back and the paddock princess sign on the front. You picked up the girl from the couch and turned to the mirror checking out your matching outfit. You walked out of the room to the garage, fixing the headphones on Sophie when she pointed her little finger to one of the big screens of the garage.

“Daddy!” She screamed making you whip your head to the way where she was pointing seeing that they had Charles’s interview on the screen.

“Baby, yes that’s daddy.” You kissed the top of her head. This was the first time he called him dad, you wished that he could hear it too, because he would be on cloud nine by now. You watched the race from Pierre’s garage, and moved with the crowd out to the park fermé once it was over. You watched as the two Ferrari drivers were jumping around with their teams hugging each other, celebrating that both of their drivers finished on the podium. Pierre walked to his friend and pat him on the shoulder before pulled him closer to his body for a hug.

“They are here waiting for you.” He winked and pointed at him as he walked backwards to his team. Charles tore the helmet off his head with his balaclava and scanned through the crowd.

“Daddy!” He whipped his head to the right seeing one of the most important thing in his life running all the way to him with a huge smile on her little face. He crouched down and opened his arms letting the little girl jump in his embrace. He held the back of her head as he hid his face in her neck.

“Hi baby.” He whispered into her neck. “Where is mommy?” He pulled her little body away from him, studying the face of the little girl. She turned in his arms pointing to their right. There you were, standing in the corner, hugging your own body, in the same red jacket looking at them as tears were rolling down on your beautiful cheeks. He couldn’t take his eyes off you, the most beautiful thing in his life that meant the world to him. The person who he had the last thing in his mind before falling asleep and the first thing in his mind when he woke up everyday, the person who was raising a child with him, having a family. The person who he was head over heels in love with. He skipped the distance between the two of you and without another word he grabbed your face and pulled you close for a kiss, that knocked the wind out of your lungs.

“You are that person who I want to raise this little girl, watch her to be a teen and then an adult. You two are my family, and you are the love of my life. I have had to realise in the past three days that I already have everything I need in my life. A beautiful girl, who I can raise with the most incredible woman in the world who I’m head over heels in love with. My only question would be. Are you still in this with me?” He was studying your face, caressing your cheeks with his thumb. His eyes were shining under the fluorescent light, you have never seen his eyes more beautiful before.

“We agreed and signed it a year ago to raise this little angel together. It’s just a bonus if I can show you how much I can love you too.” You smiled at him. “I love you so much.” You whispered on his lips just as he pulled you closer for another deep kiss, without caring about the world around you. All it mattered was the three of you, your little family.

If you would like to be added to the taglist please let me know

Taglist 🤍: @vividwritinglove @mytinycrazymind @ophcelia @freyjhasdesiredreality

[your-astro-mami]

The Astrology of: Pluto in Aquarius (2023-2043)

And what does it meant for your Rising sign?

Happy Pluto in Aquarius era! (2023-2043)

Aries

Pluto enters your 11th house of goals, aspirations and friendships. This indicates that you will experience major changes in your friendships and social circles. You are likely to meet people who will transform your life - in a positive or a negative way, regardless of that this will bring growth and maturity when it comes to friendship and connections. You may become more ambitious and focused on the things you want in life and what you want to achieve. Your journey to getting there might be one that is filled with difficulties, but nonetheless nothing will stop you to get what you want. You may seek power and a stronger social presence. You might become more outspoken about the things you are passionate about - whether it's something personal or a social issue, something that involves a larger number of people.

Themes: change in aspirations; growth due to friendship, obsession with dreams and aims in life;

Taurus

Pluto enters your 10th house of career and reputation which could bring major changes when it comes to your life goals and ambitions. You may feel determined to grow and succeed in your career, but your path may not feel easy and this success may not enter your life immediately. You will have to fight for the things you want. Despite the ups and downs, your journey will feel secure and you will find the power you need in order to feel confident in yourself and your abilities. You might be more reserved publically and you will value your privacy more than ever. People might be more curious about you and your plans. There could be changes in your desires and aims in life. While this could point to growth in your career, it may also indicate a change in your career path. You are ready to explore and transform. You might find your true passion and do anything possible to go after it.

Themes: privacy, change of long-term ambitions, shifts in professional desires or path;

Gemini

Pluto enters your 9th house of education, travel and personal development which will inspire you and help you uncover a new side of yourself. This will be a period of growth and abundance. Travelling and experiencing new things will help you discover qualities of yourself you never knew you had. You are likely to develop new bonds and gain a lot of knowledge while travelling and exploring new places. This era will bring valuable knowledge into your life and help you gain more wisdom. You might become more open-minded to the things you never understood before. You will put more focus into your personal growth journey and you will be open to this change that awaits you. You will become a more mature, conscious version of yourself. You will learn a lot about yourself and others. There could be a major shift in your values, beliefs and philosophies in life.

Themes: personal development, gaining knowledge, uncovering a new side of self through travel and exploration;

Cancer

Pluto enters your 8th House of finance and transformation. This could point to a great period for your financial situation. You may gain more maturity when it comes to dealing with your finances and making financial decisions. You will become more conscious of who you take financial advice from. You will be protective of your finances. There is potential for financial growth. This era could help you gain the recognition you have always wanted and find your inner strength. Your sensitivity will be replaced with control and rationality. You could face some struggles which will allow you to uncover this inner strength and power and learn to handle everything that enters your life with ease. You may become more self-reliant and rational. While the deep sensitivity may still be there, you will handle your emotions in a more mature manner.

Themes: financial transformation; conscious financial decisions; gaining recognition and personal strength;

Leo

Pluto enters your 7th house of personal and professional relationships. This indicates an era which will bring drastic shifts in your connections with other people. In your romantic relationships or marriage it could bring some turmoil. Once you overcome it, it will strengthen your partnership and grow your conneciton with your partner. This could be a time to grow your professional connections or business but try to be wary of the people you allow into your life. Not everyone will have the best intentions in mind and in order to rely on someone, you must fully trust them. This era will help you appreciate the good connections in your life and move on from those that bring you down or cause unnecessary harm to you. You will learn to be more selective of the people you get close to. You may enter a relationship which will inspire you to be all in.

Themes: transformation in relationships; growth of business; wisdom regarding relationships;

Virgo

Pluto enters your 6th house of work and health which could bring big changes in your work environment and lifestyle. You are likely to put a big amount of your energy into your work and work ambitions. There will be changes in your workplace whether that is changing your job or getting promoted in your current field of work. Health-wise you may face some difficulties but you are likely to find strength to deal with them. This long period will help you make important changes in your routine and lifestyle. You may have a new approach to your health journey and you will learn to be more conscious and tuned in with your body. Your day to day life may become an adventure due to the potential ups and downs, but this will help you learn to trust yourself and rely on yourself - not on others. In a way this era could bring independence.

Themes: new lifestyle, major shifts in work environment; dealing with health;

Libra

Pluto enters your 5th House of romance and creativity. This indicates a transformative period in your romantic life. You may experience some major shifts in your romantic relationships - separation, growth in a relationship, a stronger bond with your partner. You will learn to be more protective of yourself. Romantically you may find it hard to let other people in easily and trust will not be gained immediately in relationships, so when you form a close bond with someone, you may have a hard time letting go of them. You might be more private about your romantic interests and relationships. Creatively, there will be growth and you may find new sources of inspiration. You are likely to develop new passions, even obsessions and truly commit to them. There could be changes in your social life and social presence. You may get involved in dramatic public situations with others.

Themes: growth due to relationships; creative inspiration and obsession; transformation in the social presence and public involvement;

Scorpio

Pluto enters your 4th House of family, domestic and emotional environment. This indicates that there could be major changes in your family dynamic - possible difficulties that could lead to big transformations and growth. This could be a period of moving and finding the perfect location for yourself, figuring out where your perfect home is. There could be emotional turmoil and deep sensitivity, one that will be hard to overcome but it will be something that leads to great growth and maturity. You will learn to be more conscious of your emotions and approach to them. You might become more protective of yourself and your personal space. You will learn to be wary of the people you let close to yourself. There could be shifts in your family dynamic and your relationship with family members.

Themes: emotional growth, changes in home and domestic environment; shift in family dynamic and close relationships;

Sagittarius

Pluto enters your 3rd house which will bring major shifts when it comes to your mindset and mentality. This will be a period with intellectual growth and development. You may experience great changes when it comes to your approach to different topics and your personal expression. You might be more private, more reserved in conversations and you will be more curious about understanding other people. These years will bring a lot of valuable lessons and you will seek more depth to any topic you encounter. You will put more focus on understanding things in a more thorough way. There could be major changes in your environment and surroundings, as well as your relationship with your siblings and the people around you.

Themes: change of mindset; curiosity; wisdom, better observation, change in environment;

Capricorn

Pluto enters your 2nd house of finance, possessions and close relationships. This could indicate a period with big financial shifts in your life. There could be growth or losses - with time you will become more conscious of the way you handle your finances and this could lead to growth and abundance. You might be more possessive of the things you own, more protective of your possessions and the people you truly love. You may find it hard to let other people close to yourself and it will take you some time to learn to trust others fully. Your confidence will be gained with time and the effort you put into the things you do. You will learn to trust yourself better. You will learn to set boundaries in your close relationships and you will gain the respect and admiration of others.

Themes: financial wisdom; financial ups and downs; boundaries in close relationship, trust;

Aquarius

Pluto enters your 1st house which indicates a period of major personal changes. You are likely to learn valuable lessons which will help you gain a new perspective on life, approach life in a different matter. There could be difficulties that may enter your life as a surprise. You may find it hard to create balance in your life and there will be big transformations in the upcoming years you may not feel ready for. Despite that, this will be the time to gain your personal power and learn to feel confident in yourself and your decisions. You are likely to handle anything that comes your way with ease. While this time may bring hardships, it will help you grow into the person you were meant to be. You are likely to change yourself whether it's your appearance or gain new qualities in your personality.

Themes: growth, new perspective on life, changes in approach to life; personal transformation;

Pisces

Pluto enters your 12th house of mental health and spirituality. This indicates that this will be a transformative period for your mental health and inner wellbeing. You are likely to face some hardships which will help you gain power and strength. There could be highs and lows. You may experience betrayals from the people in your life, which will push you to become more protective of yourself and less trusting of others. These situations will help you gain more confidence in yourself. You may experience some form of spiritual awakening which will allow you to view your life and situations differently. You will feel empowered and ready to handle everything that comes your way. Your deep sensitivity and ability to observe will help you gain more control over any situation.

Themes: gaining inner strength, spiritual awakening, power over enemies;

[turcott3]

mine all mine

florian xhekaj x fem! reader

warnings: light cursing and pure, straight up FLUFF

masterlist

-

you laid on the couch of the xhekaj house, hanging out with your boyfriend’s siblings, arber included.

“you mother fucker.” his older sister yells smacking arber on the arm for knocking her off the track as they raced head to head on mariokart, you trailing behind in 6th place.

“whatever it takes to win dom.” he laughs and continues eventually winning the race.

“how are you good when you never even play?” sophia asks after she finishes in 8th.

“i’m just cool i guess.” he shrugs setting the controller down. the bond you’d grown with florian’s sibling was extremely strong. they welcomed you with open arms the moment you stepped in their door for the first time. you looked at the time, seeing that florian would be home soon after a long practice.

“one more round? parents are at work until late.” arber asks.

“yeah let’s do it.” you reply, hoping to maybe do better this time, which you did, finishing in 3rd. once your final race was over you hear the lock on the front door turn and florian walks in the door.

“soph, dom you guys wanna go to dinner?” arber asks.

“yeah sure. what about flo and y/n?” dom replies.

“well he just came back so i just assumed he wouldn’t wanna go.”

“which you would be correct.” florian laughs returning from setting his bag down in his room and plopping down on the couch close to you.

“damn why?” sophia asks.

“long practice, i just wanna be at home.” he says putting his feet up on the coffee table.

“we’ll get you guys take out?”

“perfect, just call us when you need our order.” you smile leaning back in the corner of the couch, putting your feet up toward florian. his siblings putting on their shoes and walking closer to the door before he gets up to lock the door behind them.

“see you kids later. and flo use-“ arber starts.

“goodbye.” florian says pushing them out the door and shutting it quickly, face flushed red with embarrassment.

“awe, are you embarrassed?” you giggle as he walks back over to the couch.

“no i’m not.” he says, clearly lying out of his ass, and with his hands he separates your legs, laying between them with his head placed gently on your stomach.

“oh baby.” you coo, your hand running lightly through his dirty blonde hair, massaging his scalp.

“missed you.” he mumbles.

“you were only gone a few hours honey.” you giggle and you were met with silence as the boy placed his arms under your back, hugging onto you firmly. he always put on a tough guy front in front of his friends and his family but when the two of you were alone he loved to be babied more than anything in the world.

“i love it when it’s just me and you.” he says, moving his head to look up at you.

“why?” you say brushing hair out of his face.

“because.”

“flo that’s not a reason.” you laugh.

“i just love you, that’s all.” he says softly looking at you with his loving blue eyes.

“i love you too baby.” you smile. he pushes himself up with his arms to press a sweet kiss to your lips before repositioning himself and placing his head on your chest, wrapping his arms back around you. your ran your fingernails up and down his back soothingly, enjoying the moments of quietness with no one around.

“i never want them to come back. i could die happy right here.” he says softly, enjoying the back scratch.

“well once you play with the habs you can get your own place.” you say planting an unknown seed in his mind.

“what about our own place? like you come live with me.” he suggests.

“we’ll have to see but i’m sure we can work that out.” you smile at the idea of it. living alone with florian was, what you considered and fantasy, but the fact that it could happen brought you enough peace.

“i can talk to your parents.” he says resting his chin on your sternum.

“baby let’s not worry about it just yet okay? it’ll all work out.” you smile.

“you’re right. the idea just makes me so excited for my future with you.” he says causing your heart to flutter. you had never met a sweeter boy in your life.

“i’m excited too. everyday is exciting with you.” you say locking eyes with the boy.

“my family loves you, you know? mom is always asking about you when you’re not here.”

“does she really?”

“yes, i’d say almost half the times i ask you to come over is her telling me to ask you.” he laughs.

“well she’s awesome so that makes me happy.”

“good, because you make me the happiest and they see it and in return love you like family.”

“boy you better stop before i start crying.” you giggle as he presses a light kiss to your neck before laying his head back down.

“have you thought about what food you want before they call us?” you ask interrupting the silence that took over.

“to be honest no. just order something and i’ll get the same thing.” he says.

“okay easy enough.”you giggle as your hand finds its way back into his soft locks.

-

[yetanothersparrowofthedawn]

Love Songs and Shit (Extended Masterpost)

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x YN

Genre: Angst, Hurt, Fluff, Smut (honestly it varies depending on the chapter)

Wordcount: if only I knew...

Plot: YN is a popular American singer-songwriter who, on a rainy evening in 2018, crossed path with the members of Greta Van Fleet. It didn't take long for the usually detached and fiercely independent girl to experience an unfamiliar itch. As she put pen to paper, it seemed a certain long-haired guitarist had her thinking about writing love songs and shit.

Concept: Each Album is a period of YN's journey, each track is a song she wrote after a specific chapter, so basically her discography is a chronological story of her life (with Jake, mostly). I'm currently not posting chapters in chronological order, but everything is organized in chronological order on this Masterpost.

Disclaimer: All the album covers are paintings by Norwegian painter Henrik Aarrestad Uldalen I edited. So, credit to that guy.

Also some chapters may involve triggering themes, I'll add the specific trigger warnings at the beginning of each chapter. Stay safe, besties.

(PREQUEL)Debut Album: "Remain Nameless" => NOT YET STARTED

Old Money

Seven

Blue Velvet

Lost at Sea

Bel Air

South London Forever

This is what makes us girls

Dollhouse

All-American Bitch

Hope There’s Someone

Grace

idontwannabeyouanymore

Remain Nameless

Brutal

Rabbit Heart

National Anthem

2nd Album: "Sweet Nothings" => NOT YET STARTED

The Night We Met

Ride

Lover to Lover

Body Electric

Moves

Hiding

Hope is a Dangerous thing for me to have

Love Song

Sweet nothings

3rd Album: "Let the Light In" => NOT YET STARTED

Wildest dreams

All the girls you've loved before

Cornelia street

How Big, How blue, How beautiful

Dress

Love

Always Remember Us This Way

Let the Light In

Lover

4th Album: "How to Disappear" => NOT YET STARTED

The Next Best American Record

King

Brooklyn Baby

How to Disappear

Mariners Apartment Complex

Norman Fucking Rockwell

Watercolor Eyes

Sky Full of Song

One step forward, three steps back

Out of the woods

5th Album: "The Greatest" => NOT YET STARTED

Happiness is a Butterfly

Swan song

Too Good at Goodbyes

Favorite Crime

You're Losing Me

Without You

The Greatest

6th album: "Long & Lost" => IN PROGRESS

Hits Different (coming soon..)

Now that we don’t talk

Beautiful People with Beautiful Problems

Long & Lost (coming next)

Is it over Now? (coming soon..)

All This and Heaven Too

7th Album: "St Jude" => DONE

California

Secrets from a Girl

Style

The Way I loved You

St Jude

All You Had to do Was Stay

Honeymoon

Happier than ever

8th Album: "The End of Love" => ON HIATUS

The Bomb

Prayer Factory

River

All too well

Caught

Stargirl Interlude

Getaway car

Angels like you

Various Storms and Saints

Leave my Body

Cassandra

The End of Love

9th Album: "Dream Girl Evil" => NOT YET STARTED

Carmen

A&W

Hometown Glory

Dream Girl Evil

Swimming

Restraint

Sober

Sober II

Heaven Is Here

June

God knows I tried

Never Let Me Go

(SEQUEL) 10th Album: "Margaret" => NOT YET STARTED

Morning Elvis

Girls against God

Mama who bore me

Patricia

Did you know that there's a tunnel under ocean boulevard?

Kitsungi

Back in Town

I Drink Wine

Back to December

Margaret

[jilytoberfest]

We all know James and Lily live a long happy life together but do you know how they met? Was it on the Hogwarts Express where one accidentally bumped the overhead luggage and caused it to drop on the other? Or was it because Lily wanted to know who lets their dog pee on her lovely Petunia that she keeps next to her door and waits to yell at him as he went about his morning routine? Who knows? Who will tell? And just so everyone can know the different answers to the above question, this year’s theme for jilytober fest is…🥁🥁🥁🥁 ‘MEET CUTES/UGLIES!’

Disclaimer: this post is a lil’ long

Bittersweet

We all know honey gets sweeter when you stir it up, but can you make it bitter too? What happens when we give you a fluff prompt but ask you to give us angst? We get bittersweet jily, addictive and delicious. Oh and how about when you turn our angsty prompt into sweet nothings and sugar coated love declarations? Absolute delight! Come ask for your prompt and twist it to your flavour

The participants will be given a fluff prompt which should be interpreted as angst. And vice versa. Those interested in participating in this challenge can send an ask, and a prompt will be assigned to you! (Yes, both writers and artists can participate 🥰). There is no deadline to register for this event.

Masquerade challenge

Are you as good as a Marauder at detective work? Can you sniff an authors tells at the poker table? Can you sense the writer before the end of the story? Can you tell which James loves Lily the most? If you think you can come have a guess 😉

A few writers will write and anonymously submit their fics to the challenge collection (will be posted soon). Readers have to match the fics to the writers. The options for authors will be given via a tumblr poll. Everyone is encouraged to participate :)

To be a writer, send an ask saying that you wish to participate by the 20th of September (so that you get enough time to write)

Jily sprinkle moments!

At the beginning of each week, 5 one word prompts will be posted. They can all be connected together to make one fic, or as many as one wants. There is no limit! Go grab that jily moment and put it in <<101 words! (If inspiration strikes, feel free to go crazy) Everyone is encouraged to participate! (Artworks, fics, moodboards, playlists—anything can be made). Do tag this blog and @jilymicrofics so that your works can be reblogged

Readers Bingo!

We’ve been spoilt with so manyyyy jily fics this year, were you able to keep up?? If you were, you will rock the bingo weekends this year!

The official bingo templates will be posted every Friday at 12AM GMT and to win it, one would have to get a bingo by Monday 12 AM GMT. This year, we will have 4 bingos (🎉🎉) for each category— general audiences (6th-8th), teen and up(13th-15th), mature(20th-22nd), explicit(27th-29th). Every single person in the fandom is encouraged to participate :)

Whoever finishes the bingo first, each week, wins! They should also post a photo of their finished template on Tumblr and tag this blog. Each winner has the chance to win a bonus of eternal fame (in the author’s minds) and love ♥️♥️ if they have left a comment, as well as have read the fic :)

The JilyExpress - A collaborative fic writing event

All ready to start and head straight to Hogwarts is the Jily expressway 🚂🛤️🚇 so…

Get your ticket through this form before 20th September. Everybody is welcome! (All readers, artists, writers)

The fest mod will start a story on 1st October - It shall only be 1-3 (complete!) sentences and no more.

The next person on the list will continue the story the next day, 2nd October, by writing 1-3 more (complete!) sentences. This continues till the 31st of October when a complete fic, with all the authors credited, will be released on ao3. Based on the number of sign ups, the order and the number of times each author gets to write will be decided and announced in a later post

The writers are to post their lines as a reblog chain with proper tagging (the jily express and @jilytoberfest ) and numbering (date). In case you want your sentence to be anonymous, you can send an ask to this blog after the person before you has posted their sentence, and we would post yours!

First years and Heads of Houses (readers, artists and writers) all can get tickets (since it’s only max 3 sentences) so, hop on, enjoy the fun ride to make sure James and Lily arrive at their destination (happily ever after) safely

ROMCOM event

Ever wanted to combine your favourite rom com with your favourite couple? Here’s your chance, because James and Lily are just a boy and a girl standing in front of an audience asking them to write their love story

And that’s what we’ll do! If you have any romcom books/movies you’d like to recommend, please mention it in the comments of this post! A post with the entire list of movies/books will be released by the 5th! You can choose which movie/book to write as jily in the comments/reblogs of that post!

31Prompts!!

31 prompts for 31 days is back again this year with even more exciting prompts for all! P.S. we now also have lyrical prompts included in the list

The prompts will be posted tomorrow!

And lastly, for the very first time… SURPRISE EVENT!

I think most of you will love this one 🤞🏼🤞🏼. I’m hoping everyone participates in this (yes, readers included). The details will only be revealed on the 29th October, so stay tuned!

[flowerpotmage]

Tight Grip, Broken Dam (18)

<< Previous Chapter | Masterlist | Next Chapter >>

You don’t question it anymore, when Miguel appears in your bed at night. He’s not there for sex, no, you’ve never even kissed—though you would be lying if you said you weren’t open to the idea of kissing him. He’s there for comfort. For rest. If only it could stay so simple.

Pair: Miguel O'Hara & GN!Reader

Word Count: 3.5k

Read this chapter on Ao3 here. If you like my work, please consider leaving kudos there as well! You do not need an account to do so.

You’re tired and a bit sore the next morning, your makeshift bed on the floor less than ideal after your long night out. But that’s nothing new, really—you’ve woken in worse condition after a night of vigilantism on many a previous occasion. So you rise; go to the bathroom, and then to the kitchen to make breakfast–

Ah. You’re out of groceries.

You dress, head to the same cafe by your house as usual, and then venture onwards to pick up the bare minimum of groceries. You’ll figure out what else you need later, now that you’re going to have to go back to doing all of your own cooking (your chest clenches, ribs squeezing tight around your lungs like a child’s finger-trap toy) and you’ll only be cooking for yourself and your much lower standards.

You hastily shove that train of thought aside, sloppily put the groceries away, and shower. You have lunch with Karen soon, and a meeting with Ellison after, and you don’t want to smell like midnight vigilante dumpster alley encounters for either of them. You scrub away under the hot water, exfoliating and soaping and shampooing and conditioning—the tightness around your lungs and the lump in your throat urging you on as if achieving ultimate cleanliness will help reset the thing that aches inside. It doesn’t, of course, but there’s still some part of you that feels an awful lot better when you dry off, the scars across your ribs disappearing under your towel.

“I’m so sorry for canceling yesterday,” Karen says later when you’re seated across from one another at a small place between 7th and 8th. “Matt said you missed my text and came all the way up here.”

You wave her off. “It’s fine, really. Matt and I ended up getting sandwiches and then I spent the rest of the day at the park.”

She smiles, grateful for your apparent magnanimity. “Good, I’m glad the trip wasn’t for nothing.” She pauses. “How are you feeling?”

You pause. “Better,” you say, looking down at your menu and chewing the inside of your lip. “Honestly, I, uh–”

“Hi!” your server greets, appearing as if from thin air. “Do we have any questions about the menu today?”

You’re saved from the awkwardness of opening up to Karen for just that much longer as you pick back up your menus to order. When he leaves, menus with him, Karen turns her attention back to you.

“Better is good,” she says, bringing the conversation back on track.

You nod, deciding not to talk about Miguel right now after all. “I’ve got a meeting with Ellison after this,” you say instead. “Apparently we finally got a press list for that donor gala next month and he wants to go over some things.”

Karen beams. “I was wondering who got that assignment! Ellison didn’t want me to take it, with all the vigilante column stuff, in case a conflict came up,” she says, then waves the thought off with her long, pale hand. “That’s amazing, I’m so glad he picked you.”

Lunch continues, and you find that time with Karen does wonders to lift your spirits. She tells you about a recent night out with Foggy and Matt while you were ‘sick,’ and how Foggy nearly broke three glasses because he wasn’t paying attention to his pool stick before losing to Matt.

“Matt beat him?” you laugh.

“He’s surprisingly skilled at pool,” she laughs with you. “Foggy’s not bad, he just gets… carried away telling his stories after a drink or two.”

It’s hard to mistake the fondness in her voice, and the lump threatens to return to your throat. “He’s pretty good at telling stories, to be fair,” you say.

Karen laughs lightly. “That he is.”

You’re in a far better mood after lunch, and promise to see one another soon before parting ways. It seems Ellison had a good start to his day as well, and he’s practically bouncing on the balls of his feet when you make it into his office.

“Feeling better?” he asks.

“Yup.”

“Good. I got a peek at the guest list, and this is going to be big for you.”

You frown. “I thought it was a standard donor gala?”

He shakes his head. “Well, mostly.” He hands you two sheets of printer paper with a list of names, stapled together at the top left corner, then leans on his desk, arms crossed. “There’s a few big names on the list. Donors who usually don’t attend, yadda yadda.”

You raise an eyebrow and then look down at the list, scanning through it for anyone familiar that might jump out at you. It’s mostly names you don’t recognize, privately rich upper east side-types, one or two vaguely familiar old money surnames, someone with the unfortunate first name of Wilson, and—

Your eyebrows fly up as you look at Ellison. “Stark and Potts?”

Ellison nods, eyes glittering behind his glasses. “Yup. And you are going to get quotes from them.”

The absolute last thing you want is to be on Iron Man’s radar, but…

You nod. “Alright.”

You get started on your research the next day, searching up the names on the lists and taking notes. You’ve got three and a half weeks since the event isn’t scheduled until early November, but with a list this long and how much time you spend on your… extracurriculars, you want to get started early.

Your phone buzzes on the kitchen counter next to you—the couch in the living room behind you, where you frequently do your work from home, untouched. You shift on the stool, stretching your back, before you pick it up to find a text from Karen.

Drinks at Josie’s tonight, 8:30! You’re invited :)

Your fingers hover over the screen. Why not? you think, and tap out a reply:

See you there!

Josie’s is slightly fuller than one would expect for a Wednesday night, but not overly crowded. There’s a pleasant level of background noise from the voices chatting under the music, and for once the fact that it’s warmer in the bar than it is outside is actually enjoyable: the sunset had long since taken the ambient warmth of the city concrete away with its retreat below the horizon.

Foggy warmly thumps you on the arm when you show up. “Good to see you back with the living!” he says. “Let’s get you a drink.”

True to his word, Foggy gets you your first drink before convincing the group to play teams at the pool table. Him and Karen against you and Matt, losers buy the drinks.

“Don’t worry,” Matt says, something about his grin devilish and full of mischief. “I’m better than I probably look, and you can tell me where the balls and pockets are.”

You grin. Even if Matt ended up being terrible, you think you’d be able to keep your team afloat with your secret talents. “Fist bump,” you say, prompting Matt to lift a fist for you to tap.

“Why do I feel like I’ve made a horrible mistake?” Foggy groans.

Matt grins wider, ducking his head to hide it. “I don’t know, Foggy. Did you think you were setting our friend up for failure here by pairing them with the blind guy?”

Foggy shoots Matt perhaps one of the most dramatically exasperated looks you think you might have ever seen, the kind one can only muster when a particularly dear friend is pulling some particularly specific bullshit. Matt must know, because he laughs, a full and happy sound—but you’re busy trying to pretend you haven’t noticed the scars on his knuckles when you bumped your hands together.

“Even if Matt was trash,” you say out loud, trying to shake the realization off and join the banter and putting on a fake-serious voice. “I think I could keep our team doing fine. You’ve made a mistake, Mr. Nelson, putting me in the position of being your enemy.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Foggy says, swiping up the chalk. “Talk a big game if that makes you feel better. Now, let’s play. Karen, you first?”

“My pleasure,” she says, eyes twinkling. “Prepare to lose,” she directs at you and Matt. “Horribly.”

You and Matt win in a landslide.

“Okay, you cheated,” Foggy says over the next round of drinks.

“How could I have possibly cheated, Foggy?” Matt asks. “You just underestimated our companion here.” Matt pats your upper arm with the back of his hand to punctuate his sentence.

Foggy shakes his head and mumbles something into his drink while Matt smiles and takes another sip of his own.

“Well, I demand a rematch,” Karen says. “New teams.”

With fresh drinks ordered and teams switched, Foggy and Karen set the table up for a new game while you stand to the side with Matt, watching them. This game ends up being more evenly matched—you and Karen against Matt and Foggy.

Matt sinks the winning ball.

“Aha! Take that,” Foggy says, pointing a finger at you and Karen playfully. “Now go,” he makes a shoo-ing gesture with his hands. “Losers buy winners drinks.”

“You’re such a sore winner,” Karen teases. “What do you two want?”

It’s at the bar that you start to lose a little steam, the couple gently tangling their fingers on the counter a few seats away catching your eye. A memory flashes through your head of a few weeks ago, you and Miguel walking to breakfast and you resisting the urge to hold his hand—

“You doing okay?” Karen asks. She follows your gaze to see what’s caught your attention and then looks at you again with gentle curiosity and patience.

You sigh, rubbing your hands on your face. Josie sets down a round of shots, and you throw one back. Karen raises an eyebrow when you drop it back down on the counter and ask Josie for another.

“There was… this guy,” you say, looking down at the counter and pressing your finger on a whorl in the wood.

Karen blinks, Josie sets down your refilled shot. “I didn’t know you were seeing anyone.”

You shake your head. “It’s… it was complicated. He was…” You shake your head. “He was complicated.”

“How long?” she asks, and she follows your example when you start to collect the small glasses for the group.

You pause, thinking back, and nearly grimace at how what you’re about to say is going to sound. “Almost a year.”

She grimaces in sympathy. You feel bad about omitting the details, like the fact that you and Miguel hadn’t actually been together, but that wasn’t the point, was it? You were hurt, and you needed to talk about it. Plus, the feelings were mutual. You felt somewhat sure of that, since he’d all but explicitly said it, and you’d been living like a couple for most of that almost-year—

“Well, fuck him,” Karen says as you reach your table again.

“Fuck who?” Foggy asks. “And what for?”

“Some asshole,” you shrug and pretend it doesn’t hurt to call him that as you set the drinks down and sit. Karen next to Foggy, you next to Matt.

“We could always sue him for you, if you like,” Matt jokes, gently bumping his shoulder into yours.

You chuckle, taking a sip of your drink.

“To fucking assholes!” Foggy declares loudly, raising his drink and you nearly choke. Karen laughs and slaps his arm, chastising him loudly. Still, your group raise their glasses and toast to his intentionally crass words.

Matt leans in after the drinks are lowered, asking quietly: “The personal stuff that came up, I assume?”

“Yeah,” you mumble, looking down at your drink and tilting the glass in a circle.

Matt nods, leaning out of your space again. “Screw him,” he agrees.

“You need more drinks,” Foggy decides, already pushing his seat back to go get them.

“No,” you laugh. “Foggy, really—”

“We just got shots—” Karen adds, but your protests are ignored as Foggy is already halfway to the bar counter, determined to drown any lingering sorrows.

So determined, in fact, that for the first time in years you actually get a little drunk.

“My god,” you slur, leaning back on the brick of Josie’s out front. “How did you d’this?”

“Don’t– don’t touch that,” Karen says, also drunk, as she pulls you off the wall.

“Ugh,” you say. “How do you do this all the time?”

“Strong constitutions,” Foggy says. “We all have—we have high con stats.”

“D&D,” you say, pointing at him. “Nerd.”

“Takes one to know one,” he retorts.

You groan in mock defeat, Matt chuckling off to the side.

Karen says your name, long and drawn out like she just realized something terrible.

“What?” you ask, turning towards her.

“You can’t go home like this.”

“I’m fiiine–”

“You’re in Williamsburg,” she insists. “That’s sooo far.”

“That is far,” Foggy says.

“It’s like, twooo trains, max” you insist.

“Two trains too far,” Foggy rebuttals. “While drunk.”

“Crash on my couch,” Matt says, both hands resting atop the end of his white cane. You suspect the reason he isn’t swaying is because he’s somehow gotten very, very good at standing still. “I live closest, you can catch the train home in the morning.”

Foggy and Karen exchange a look.

You nod, ignoring them. “Yeah. Yeah, that works. Good couch?”

“It’s decent,” Karen says, tone nothing but casual and bordering on chipper. “I stayed on it when I was suspected for murder and my apartment was an active crime scene.”

“I can’t believe that’s how we met you,” Foggy says.

Plans settled—Foggy and Karen will split a cab back to their respective apartments, and you’ll walk with Matt to his—the four of you hug and part ways.

”I’m this way,” Matt gestures down the road with his hand, cane grasped firmly and drawing a straight line from the sky to the ground. “Do you feel up to walking?”

“Yeah,” you say when you remember he can’t see you nod. “Yeah. God, I haven’t been drunk in years.”

Matt frowns a bit, light concern creasing between his brows. “You sure you’re okay?”

”Yeah,” you confirm. “It’s just sooo weird now.” And then, at his doubtful expression, you tack on: “C’mon, let’s get going.”

It really is an easy trip back to his building. You’re more focused on walking normally and not accidentally saying or doing something too Spider-y in front of him than on making conversation, so the chit-chat is minimal up until the building is in front of you.

“Oh, we’re here?”

”We’re here,” Matt confirms. “Do you mind stairs?”

You wave his question off. ”I can do stairs in my sleep.”

Matt laughs. ”I’m at the top,” he says, and leads the way.

His apartment isn’t what you expected, the ceilings high and somehow heavy while being made of so much open space. There’s a sort of barebones, worn, industrial thing happening with the interior design; the brick of the walls is exposed, and the colors are dark and brooding like fall. There’s not much in the way of decoration—-a simple couch, a coffee table, and a side dresser against the wall (no television to be found, naturally) mark the designated living room space. A small dining table sits behind the couch, the kitchen sectioned off by a tall counter, a similar concept to your own home. Off to one side, a step higher than the rest of the apartment, is his bedroom.

”Make yourself comfortable,” Matt says. “Water?”

”Sure,” you say, wandering past the couch to the absolutely enormous windows that line the wall. “Your heating bill in the winter must be as big as these windows.”

Matt laughs. “Heavy curtains help insulate the place.” He approaches the living room, two glasses of water in his hands, and you go to meet him. “Plus sweaters.”

“Thanks,” you smile as you accept one of the glasses from him. “Didn’t have you pegged as a sweater guy.”

“I have quite the collection,” he says, sitting in the chair. “I’ll let you borrow one tonight. I don’t know what you have on now, but I’ll bet it’s not nearly as soft. Or comfortable for sleeping in.”

You hum in agreement. “Entirely possible.” You pause. “Thanks for hanging out with me the other day,” you add quietly. “And for letting me crash here tonight.”

”Hey,” he says warmly. “Any friend of Karen’s is a friend of mine.” This time it’s his turn to pause. “Well, most of them.”

”Sounds like there’s a story there.” You raise an eyebrow, curiosity piqued.

Matt shakes his head. “One for another time. Let me get you that sweater, and a pillow.”

Matt rises from the chair but you remain on the couch, forcing yourself to drink the water despite your lack of thirst. Enhanced healing be damned, you’re not going to risk exacerbating any potential hangover via dehydration. He returns shortly, a pillow under his arm and the promised sweater atop a folded blanket that looks far warmer than the one draped over the back of the couch.

”Here you go.” He stops by the end of the couch, setting the pillow on the end carefully and handing you the blanket, sweater, and a surprise pair of sweatpants between the two. “Bathroom is over there, if you want to change.”

Gratefully, you do, slipping back from the sparse, chilly bathroom with your own shirt and pants folded clumsily. “You weren’t joking about how soft this is.”

He’s also changed into his own pair of cozy sweatpants and a slightly stretched out sweater. “I left some ibuprofen on the table for you,” he nods towards the two little brown pills by your cup of water. “Just in case.”

”You’re a saint,” you say, sinking into the couch. “Ohhh my god,” you can’t help but groan. “Karen was right about the couch.”

Matt laughs again. “When Karen vouches for something, I always listen,” he smiles, though you sense an undercurrent of seriousness with his words. “She’s never let me down.”

”She’s pretty great,” you agree, turning your head to look at him properly when a memory from Josie’s returns to your awareness. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” he says, after the most microscopic of pauses—-but a pause nonetheless.

”How’d you get those scars on your knuckles?”

The hand at his side twitches, and after another short second of surprising stillness, Mat sits in the chair by the couch. “My dad was a boxer.” His words come quietly. “After he died, I started practicing myself, and…”

“When…” you swallow. “How long have you been practicing?”

”I started about… not long after it happened.” He leans back in his chair, getting comfortable. “So I think I started about… nearly twenty years ago?” He shrugs.

”I’m sorry.” You hope he knows you mean it. “Is that where you get those mysterious bruises from, too?”

“Something like that,” Matt nods, a gracious incline of his head, the corner of his mouth quirking up. It falls again during a short pause, and then he asks: “Have you lost anyone?”

Your throat gets tight. “My aunt, a few years ago. She raised me by herself.”

Quiet sits for a moment, before Matt echoes your own words. “I’m sorry.”

You sleep heavily that night, after conversation with Matt ends and he retreats to his room, sliding door left open.

When you wake in the morning it's to the smell of coffee and toast.

“Mgh?” you mumble, a slur of disoriented sound when you lift your head from the pillow. Miguel doesn’t usually make coffee—

“Good morning,” Matt says from the kitchen area. “Coffee’s almost ready if you’d like some. And toast.”

Your stomach sinks, reality catching up as you let your head thump back down onto the pillow. You swallow. “That sounds great.”

If Matt notices anything about your voice, you hope he brushes it off as lingering sleep, or the after-effects of a bad dream. He’s gracious enough to put a mug and a plate on the small table for you, and you shuffle around the couch after dragging yourself upright.

“Anyone ever told you you’re a wonderful host?” you ask after thanking him and swallowing your second bite of buttered toast.

“I could stand to hear it more often. Though I suppose that would require having more guests.”

“Where’s our Garden Spider?” Peter whispers to Jess. “I haven’t seen them in weeks. Have you?”

She glances around, then shakes her head. “I think we should stay out of this one, Peter. Miguel’s… he–”

“Uh, yeah. I’ve noticed.”

“What are you talking about?” Gwen interrupts, appearing as if from thin air. Following close behind her are two other Spider-Men—Peter recognizes Hobie, of course, and he thinks he recognizes the second from a new recruit file from the last meeting, Pavitr—who are wrapped up in their own discussion.

“Adult stu–”

“Just catching up,” Jess cuts him off. “Is that Pavitr?”

Peter’s inquiries are sidelined for now, not that he wholly minds. He’s always happy to see Gwen, and sometimes Hobie, and meeting a unique Spider-Man is always interesting.

But he’s going to get to the bottom of this.

<< Previous Chapter | Masterlist | Next Chapter >>

[tsukiakurotori]

Character Intro

Hello. So, I have decided I would venture into the FFXIV side of things after a break from it due to some irl stuff. Tsukia's story has changed much from when she first came into being, but I'm excited to see where this new direction takes her as I reclaim this beloved character. And I want to share it with any who care to join me in the slow, lengthy adventure. 😊

Without further ado, allow me to introduce you to the unsuspecting tiny dragon who went from searching for her sister to stepping into her fallen sister's shoes as the Warrior of Light.

(❗Trigger warning: mention of suicide and assault)

"I was given this power to protect and to heal. The elementals entrusted it to me. They put their faith in me. I will not let down that faith."

Age: 24 (as of the start of HW)

Height: 5'0"

Pronouns: She/Her

Nameday: 8th Sun of the 6th Astral Moon

Guardian: Menphina

Laughing, bright, wise, empathetic, confident, and powerful. A young Raen Au Ra, Tsukia was born into an old family with a long tradition of being master Ninjas. However, Tsukia eventually grew to realize this was not the path she wanted, though both she and her sister were highly skilled. Both of them wanted something else. Much to the ire of their strict father.

After a traumatic event, Tsukia chose to become a Conjurer in order to protect and heal others, and then later a White Mage under the guidance of the elementals, who took a liking to her. They know she is not the type who would abuse such power, hence why they allow her to have it. She had great potential, becoming extremely powerful, though she prefers to use her strength to heal and protect. But make no mistake. If you try and harm those she loves, she will not hold back.

This event also led to her elder sister (Seiren) leaving their clan behind, casting aside who she was, for it was Tsukia's sister who killed the man who had assaulted Tsukia, a man Seiren had once considered a friend. She took up the lance rather than being a Ninja, the path she chose as Tsukia did hers. Even if it was for her little sister's sake, Seiren could not stay. They did not know what came of her after. Until the day Tsukia began to look for her.

She’d finally been able to gain approval to venture out of the clan and so went in search of her sister, only to find that Seiren took her life by walking into the waters of Costa del Sol and never emerging, leaving only her worn lance behind.

So ended one story...while another shall begin.

“Where do you wanna go? How much do you want to risk?” Her smile was dazzling as her eyes shone, still swirling with the aether she'd called upon.

(Some explanation below, with slight spoilers)

Side notes: Her sister was the WoL during the Calamity and who returned during ARR, without her memories of the battle, inadvertently assuming the mantle once more. She fell in love with Foulques, saving him from death and helping him turn his life around. However, he was lost to her during Operation Archon, as he fought alongside the Twin Adders at the cost of his life. This sent her into a dark spiral, leading to her death before the commencement of Heavensward. By some twist of fate, it is Tsukia who ends up bearing her sister's mantle from there on.

Other OCs:

Liena Eryssel

Safianne Sahain

(I will say that, though I do not have much practice in it, I would be open to attempting some RP. I am a beginner at RP compared to writing, but my two Elezen OCs have some leeway that makes it possible. So, I just wanted to put this out here. After all, it might be nice to try new things occasionally.😊💕)

[misc-obeyme]

So, i want to share a few smaller headcanons that i have about the OB cast!

- When Beel is in a good mood and/or happy, you can hear the faint sound of fly wings going "Buzz Buzz." Beel also rubs his hands together before eating his meals just like how Flies rub their hands together.

- One rare occasions when Belphie can't sleep, he'll count cute Mc sheeps to fall asleep. He also snores similar to cartoon characters like "Honk shoo mimimi." He swats away any biting bugs/flies away with his tail if they annoy him during his naps.

- Raphael has a talent for Swallowing Swords/Knives/Speers.

- Mephistopheles likes "My Little Pony," and his favourite character is Rarity. He and Leviathan talk about MLP all the time. Mephistopheles has a strong kick, similar to how strong horses can kick someone.

- Thirteen likes calavera makeup, and every year, she dresses up as La Calavera Catrina to celebrate the "Day of the Dead" also called "Día de Muertos" ((Day of the Dead is a joyful time that helps people remember the deceased and celebrate their memory.))

- Solomon likes to watch his descendants fondly from afar even if he can't be part of their lives.

- Mc dressed up as a giant pickle once and scared Diavolo half to death (not really, but he was definitely spooked)

- After the brothers were cast out from the Celestial Realm, God created Jesus, making him the 8th brother.

- Every year around Christmas time, Satan accidentally receives "letters to Santa" from young children with dyslexia confusing the words "Santa" and "Satan," so Satan writes back letters to the children pretending to be Santa. (I wonder if Santa Claus exists in the OB universe?!). Satan, after coming to terms with his existence and his place in Devildom alongside his brothers, wanted to share his ideology and wisdom with humans. So he created a new religion that encourages hedonistic urges and desires but emphasizes heavily on keeping to yourself and not bothering or offending anyone else as you act on those desires. He called that religion "Satanism", unfortunately, humans misunderstood and painted him as evil and spreading rumours that is Satanism all about sacrificing Animals/children/virgins for selfish gain which pissed Satan off.

- Barbatos likes to be in control and puts everyone's needs before his own. He's always there for others, but he won't let anyone easily reciprocate. Because of his greed, he's afraid to lose himself in his passions/desires, so he keeps all his feelings bottled up. He fears his selfishness, consuming him whole and losing himself to the darkness. That being said, Barbatos once said, "I don't want to give myself completely to the darkness, and i won't as long as you're with me" to Mc. Basically, Mc is the "light" to his "darkness," and he would do anything in order to protect his light. There's a quote that i really like that fits perfectly. It goes like this; "Love is not blind. It sees you in the dark and chooses to be your light."

Anyway, that's it. This low-key got a little bit loooong, Ooooops.

-Angsty Anon.

That's it, I'm counting cute sheep MCs to help me sleep from now on. Please, that sounds so adorable 😭

Also excuse you with the Solomon one! Like my man isn't lonely enough, now he's watching his descendants from afar?? He would, too. :(

JESUS IS THE 8TH BROTHER aklj;sdfkljdskjlf what would have happened if God had made him at the same time as everybody else!??!?!

Poor misunderstood Satan! I'd be pretty pissed too if a bunch of idiot humans decided to make me evil and sacrifice babies in my name.

Ahh, Barbatos my true love. He's definitely got something about himself that he feels he needs to control to the point where he almost never lets go... one day maybe we'll learn about that mystery of his that he keeps so well hidden...

I quite liked all of these, thank you for sharing!

[howlingday]

My idea for a potential DB! #12

2024 aug 29, 30, 31, sep 2, 4 - 10

PREVIOUS POST

Chaos VS Kyogre

MASTER LIST

All Might VS Homelander (My Hero Academia VS The Boys) | DEATH BATTLE!

Only one Superman student will survive this super smashing slugfest!

THUMBNAIL

INTERLUDE:

FIGHTER 1: All Might, My Hero Academia’s former greatest hero.

FIGHTER 2: Homelander, Vought Corporation’s greatest product.

Wiz: Aristotle once said “It is our choice of good or evil that determines our character, not our opinion about good or evil”.

*insert a clip of All Might doing good things followed by Homelander doing evil things*

Boomstick: Want proof? Let’s look at these icons inspired by classical Americana heroics! He’s Wiz and I’m Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.

PREFACE (What to know): 

This was supposed to be my release for July for very obvious reasons. Yes, I know Homelander dies. Yes, I know it’s basically giving All Might a win. I don’t care. I like the hope and optimism that All Might, and I wanted to make more MHA VS The Boys because they contrast each other so perfectly: a Shounen love letter to western comics VS a satire of DC’s Justice League, a symbol of peace, hope, and altruism VS a symbol of terror and selfishness, hope VS cynicism, the ideal superhero VS the corrupted superhero. Like Iida VS A-Train before, All Might serves as an example of who Homelander ought to be whilst Homelander is a cautionary tale to All Might, one he probably has seen many times before across his long heroics career

I will attempt to connect this to my previous MHA VS The Boys episode so that there is a stronger feeling of both episodes being a crossover between their series, and this hypothetical crossover would happen some time during S2 or S3, before All Might’s big fight in Kamino with All For One. I will also be considering All Might at his strongest by taking his claim of how much weaker he’s gotten at face value, like in All Might VS Might Guy. However, I will still take some liberties with how All Might’s transformation and injuries works.

This fight works best if released in July, specifically as an Independence Day release. Had this been in the earlier seasons, it would definitely be the mid-season break. If this were S10, then it would have been released on a date similar to Stitch VS Rocket Raccoon (released July 3rd, 2023)

Please, please, PLEASE, check this link out. It links you to a Reddit page that has sprites for both characters, connections between our fighters, and templates used for an image that will be seen below.

Also, and this is very important, prime All Might will be taken into account, but I will give All Might his injuries and skeletal form JUST FOR THE SPECTACLE AND NOT FOR THE ANALYSIS. Again, All Might will have his injuries JUST FOR THE FIGHT, NOT FOR THE ACTUAL COMPARISON. I am putting a lot of emphasis on this for the sake of fair evaluation.

WHY: 

Connections (What do they have in common):

1. They have a lot of aesthetic similarities. Both are blonde males with colors that represent America as both were inspired by Superman

2. Both are icons of hero work in their own series, and thus have earned fame and renown, and are the face of heroism in MHA and The Boys respectively. Arguably, they are the most iconic and representative characters from their series. One could even say that they’re representatives of institutions of heroism (U.A. and Vought), but the larger world of heroics in which they operate is corrupt

3. Perfect thematic opposites. All Might is selfless to a self-endangering extreme, altruistic, and smiles as he saves people in order to inspire hope. Homelander is a narcissistic man-child who cares not for the people he saves, but for the attention that they give him and isn't above intimidation.

4. They are in a sense descendants, or the next in line to take up a mantle. All Might is the 8th wielder of One For All, succeeding his mentor Nana Shimura. Homelander is, in a sense, the second coming of his father Soldier Boy. Because of this, they have similar powers or abilities to their predecessors but to a greater degree, namely super strength and durability. This combines well with the fact that both were essentially given their superpowers instead of being born with them. All Might was given All For One as he was born without a Quirk and Homelander had taken Compound V and was made in a lab.

5. They both have sides that they want to hide from the public. All Might doesn’t want people to see his injuries or his true form. Homelander doesn’t want people to see his failure with the plane crash or his vile attitude to people that don’t approve of him.

6. East comics VS west comics, known for their adaptations on the screen.

7. Both are also known for their decline in health. All Might suffered heavy injuries after his fights with All For One to the point where he can’t maintain his muscular form and remains a skeletal husk for the majority of the series, and Homelander was never raised like a proper or even normal kid. He was isolated and never matured emotionally, so as the series progresses, his mental state decays and deteriorates.

Personal reasons (Why I want this battle/like this MU):

I previously mentioned that I love the contrast between MHA and The Boys, and these two characters just stand out to me because of their statuses as icons and pillars of their worlds, their powers, their actions, and words. There is so much crossover potential. Like, give fanfiction writers these ideas and see what they create with them.

Of course, I want Homelander to get his face smashed in, but I have no doubt that if All Might knew of Homelander’s backstory, he’d have some sympathy or pity for his enemy.

Also, this is one of my most wanted MUs. Palpatine VS Xehanort is my #1, followed closely by Chaos VS Kyogre, this MU, and another one I will get to down the line with Azula VS Cinder trailing all of them. However, I’m genuinely surprised we haven’t gotten any MHA VS The Boys content from the show. Yates has given us two commissioned tracks in Compound Engine (Iida VS A-Train) and No More Heroes (Billy Butcher VS Stain), and aside from a Twitter post from Ben asking the public who they want to be the next person to kick Homelander to the curve (he showed four characters, among them All Might), that’s everything that I can think of. Truth be told, I think no one has done this because of the obvious Homelander loss, but a stomp does not disqualify a matchup.

In general, if you want more MHA VS The Boys, please check out this video that dives more into the worldbuilding and the aesthetics of both series’ superhuman societies.

Art:

THE FIGHT:

Art and animation: 

This is a fight best done in 3D. The 3D team works best when both characters have large arsenals, deep bags of tricks, or cool fighting choreography. Just look at All Might VS Might Guy and every Star Wars battle from 2020 to 2023.

As far as I can tell, Omni-Man VS Homelander was a pure passion project, and a lot of resources were poured into it. I don’t think that this one would get such a treatment, and there are 3D models for both. The easiest approach is to take All Might’s model from Jump Force and Homelander’s model from MK1, but the ideal approach would be to have it be hand-drawn, but that would severely cut down on what I want to do.

Knowing of the comic book origins for both characters, it would be cool to have some slightly stylized hand drawn bits and pieces like Mob VS Tatsumaki. However, we know from the 7 Battle Royale that Homelander sprites do exist, and there are sprites of All Might’s skeletal form, so while it’s best done in 3D, it’ll most likely be done in sprites like in the image below taken from the link in the preface.

Possible setup: 

I want this to continue where my last MHA VS The Boys idea left off.

After the A-Train/Ingenium fiasco, Vought has come under intense scrutiny and UA is losing popularity for endangering one of their students and for associating with a company that employed a Nazi like Stormfront and a questionable character in A-Train (how did that info get leaked?). Homelander has taken it upon himself to “fix” the problem, and while UA may have given a press conference to address the issue, Homelander, the charismatic devil that he is, started a slander campaign against the threat of “Quirkies”.

In UA, the students have left as the school day just ended. All Might is in his normal form, taking down anti-UA propaganda that people have stuck to the school’s protective wall as well as some anti-Vought propaganda after a long day of teaching and trying to calm down protestors outside the school making noise that were shouting that word spouted by that fellow hero, a blonde American whom All Might initially thought well of. His press conference called to action the… More unpleasant elements of society. All Might hasn’t even changed out of his costume. and as he enters his office to grade papers, he hears a voice coming from within. 

“Ah, Toshinori. Just the man I’m looking for.” 

That voice… All Might was hoping not to have to face the man in front of him. Toshinor turns on the light and behind his desk with his legs on the table sits a blonde middle-aged man wearing a navy blue suit, red boots, and an American flag for a cape. Homelander had snuck past UA’s defenses and gotten in. He must have been waiting for him. He was… Looking at a picture of young Midoriya and Class 1-A. 

“Homelander. Why are you here?” Toshinori was hoping that the other teachers, and especially the students, weren’t here.

After a chuckle, John replies: “That f*cking little UA goody two shoes and that moron A-Train ruined everything at Vought and are making Supes look bad, and then that red birdbrain Hawks leaked some confidential info. So, I decided to come here and fix the problem at its core. Step 1? Remove Quirkies, and that starts with UA and you.” 

“Young Ingenium is a great hero! He may have faltered, but he lifts those around him and encourages them to be their best selves! I’m sorry to hear about A-Train, but he murdered an innocent civilian, and then you decided to make Heroes with Quirks look like villains.”

“See, here’s the thing, Toshi.” Homelander sighs and he stands up, approaching the skeletal figure. “We’re heroes, right? We gotta look for the public. I. Gotta look good.”

“After that press conference you did, I can’t consider you a hero. Your words are putting my students and colleagues at risk.”

“To the people, I am a hero, the GREATEST hero. I’m saving them from this plague, your genetic diseases of “superpowers” that make the majority of you Japanese not even Supes. A-Train and Ingenium may have brought bad press, but it’s nothing uncontrollable, and Hawks will soon be taken care of. So don’t stand in my way, Toshinori. I’m a real hero, and I will save everyone from you Quirkies, and if you don’t…”

Homelander’s start to glow red and he smiles evilly, crushing the picture of Class 1-A.

“Well, let’s just say that you’ll have a hard time being either a hero or a teacher.”

Toshinori’s cheeks then stretch downward with his lips, steam exiting his lean body that is now starting to grow and fill in his costume. The lanky man who was more bone than skin now stood almost two feet above Homelander, with his costume now stretched by his amazingly dense muscles, and his two long strands of hair, droopy and miserable now stand proud and curved like rabbit ears. Where there was Toshinori Yagi now stands All Might, a sharp blue gleam in his eyes.

Class 1-A may be able to handle Homelander, they certainly could handle almost anything, but in front of All Might stood a villain masquerading as a hero, and it was his duty to stop villains. “As the Symbol of Peace and as their teacher, I’m warning you: Don’t you dare hurt my students.” 

They lunge at each other, clashing like the image underneath:

FIGHT!

1.The impact of the collision levels the office. Homelander then delivers a powerful punch with his free hand on All Might’s face, and All Might staggers a little but enough for Homelander to then ram both of them so fast out of the building that there’s a sonic boom, leaving all windows in a 10 meter radius shattered and activating an alarm. Homelander flies through buildings towards the Kamino District and then attempts to grind All Might against the ground, but All Might digs in his feet to stop the human rocket, destroying the pavement and road that they’re on like the image below.

2. There are a lot of people shrieking, and people are scared. “Everyone, back away!” All Might then turns to the scared public, his iconic smile on his face. “Don’t worry, because I’m here!” 

3.“Why you-!” Homelander’s eyes glow red, but All Might swiftly decks Homelander in the face and follows up with a fast flurry of punches like in All Might’s fight against the Nomu. Homelander tries to get some hits in, but All Might is very quickly overwhelming him, and ends the barrage with one strong punch. “Texas SMASH!”

4.Homelander is sent flying to the other side of the avenue by the sheer force and wind pressure until he crashes into the side of a car, absolutely crushing it and destroying all its windows. Homelander is hyperventilating, very clearly having a panic attack. This isn’t looking good. He looks up and there are people looking at him, and they have their phone cameras pointed at him. He then sees the big bulky man charging at him as All Might attempts a Carolina Smash.

5.“BACK OFF!” The supersonic shout is both strong enough that not only does it break all windows in the vicinity, it also causes the bystanders’ and All Might’s ears to bleed, but it also makes All Might lose his balance and he tumbles into the ground.

6.Suddenly, Homelander’s super hearing picks up something really interesting. He hears the sounds of a kid coming toward him. It’s that green haired All Might wannabe that breaks his bones. No doubt he’s come to save All Might and the peons. Homelander grins evilly again as Deku comes into the scene. “All Might!”

7. All Might’s hearing was recovering a bit, and he looked up with a face of pure fear. “Stay away, young Midoriya!” Homelander turns towards the kid and flies at him so fast that by the time Deku sees him, the only thing he can register is the red glove that is about to turn his face into soup, until… “Missouri Smash!” All Might delivers a karate chop to the back of Homelander’s head like he did to Habit Headgear. However, Homelander quickly picks himself up and rushes at All Might and they lock arms, trying to push into the other. “All Might! I’m here to help!” “Stay away, young Midoriya!” “A hero always helps those in need, even other heroes!” “Then help the citizens! Get them to safety!”

8. Before Deku could reply, All Might shouts, “Please! GO!” Deku looks at All Might in the eyes, and reluctantly nods and runs towards the injured citizens. “Oh, you really do care.” “Unlike you, I take the time to make sure that the people I’m entrusted with are well.” All Might starts to use more force, pushing Homelander back, who’s starting to grunt and struggle.

9. “That’s swell, old man.” Homelander quickly knees All Might to the left of the bigger hero’s stomach. This causes All Might to let out a scream of pain and fall onto one knee. As All Might puts his right arm over his injury, Homelander lets out a sadistic laughter. “Look at you! THIS is Japan’s #1 hero? YOU’RE the Symbol of Peace? Good God, man, you’re weak!” An angry All Might swings at Homelander who quickly beats him to the punch by uppercutting All Might into the air. As All Might is airborne, Homelander grabs All Might’s ankle and slams him back into the ground, landing with his head on the ground and his torso facing Homelander who then uses his heat vision to strike All Might’s chest like the fatal blow from MK1, severely damaging All Might and his costume.

10. All Might starts to get up, but Homelander then grabs All Might by the head and tries to crush his head, so All Might responds by rotating his body with a lot of speed. “Oklahoma SMASH!” All Might spins so fast that he creates a vortex and Homelander can’t hold on and is once more sent flying. Homelander then flies up and up, and starts to catch his breath, trying to calm down. Too bad for him, he doesn’t have the time for that because All Might has jumped up to him, spinning into a frontal somersault and shouts “California SMASH!”, punching Homelander overhead and sending him back into the ground, cratering the asphalt and roads.

11. All Might lands in front of John, cratering the ground as well. Homelander is fully panicking now. His face is bloody, and there are helicopters flying around, no doubt news journalists reporting on the situation. His reputation is fully ruined, but… Maybe this can work… He can expose All Might in front of the whole world. All Might comes in, but John swings fast and hard at All Might’s injuries again, causing All Might to stagger. Homelander then hits All Might’s ears like he did to Blindspot, causing All Might to falter backward and his already damaged ears to bleed more, but All Might, with a lot of pain and effort, reorients himself again. They start to trade punches again, All Might punching John in the chest and Homelander punching Yagi in the face. In between the punches, we get cuts of people looking at the broadcast shouting “Don’t lose, All Might!”, including Deku. The two foes look at each other in the eyes and then attempt their final attack.

12. All Might wins through overwhelming speed and force. All Might needs to end this here and now. His colleagues were slanderized, U.A. is damaged, many citizens have died and many more, including Midoriya, were put in danger. All Might is now scowling like when he entered the U.S.J., angry that Homelander had put so many people he cared about in harm's way, both before and during their tussle.

As Homelander then attempts to punch All Might in the face again, All Might strikes first this time, breaking Homelander’s nose and sending him backward. Homelander’s little hope is crushed, and he’s crying and shouting as he charges his heat vision. “I’LL KILL YOU! I’LL KILL YOU AND EVERYONE YOU KNOW!” Homelander rushes in one more time, but All Might punches him again, dizzying Homelander. “Hey, villain… Have you ever heard these words before?! Go beyond! PLUS! ULTRA!” The final punch sends Homelander flying towards the horizon, his body now dismembered. All Might lifts his fist in victory like in the aftermath of his fight with All For One in Kamino. We cut to see the crowds looking at the broadcast of All Might’s victory, and there is rapturous applause and cheering. All Might stands victorious.

13. Homelander wins by being his diabolical self. Homelander is able to quickly strike All Might’s face again, this time giving All Might a bloody nose and incapacitates him like Blindspot. One more strong fist to All Might’s injuries, and All Might falls back, coughing up blood, and in a puff of smoke and steam, we see the skeletal and physically weak Toshinori Yagi. We cut to see people crying and in shock. Deku in particular is simply staring, wide-eyed at the giant screen. “No… Not now…” Homelander walks up to All Might, and with venom in his voice, speaks to All Might like he did to Starlight in this scene. “I know you can still hear me, so let me tell you this: I told you to stay away. You had no chance of victory because I am the Homelander, and I can do whatever the f*** I want.” Homelander, then performs one of his MK1 fatalities. using his heat vision to slice off Toshinori’s legs from the knees and then uses heat vision on his face. All Might screams in pain until the heat vision fully passes through his head, and Homelander then slices the body in half. Homelander slowly starts to chuckle, and then starts laughing.

KO!

RESULT:

Comparison/Strengths and weaknesses:

All Might:

+ Stronger

+ Faster

+ More durable

+ More experience in fighting and smarter when it comes to battling

+ Greater stamina

+ Slightly greater versatility with Heat Vision and Super Shout

- His fights with One For All leave him with an obvious weak point which could be exploited by the Nomu from the U.S.J. incident, but this is a moot point since All Might at his best does not have this weakness

- Less versatile moveset and abilities

Homelander

+ Slightly greater versatility with Heat Vision and Super Shout

+ Flight allows for superior maneuverability

+ Believe it or not, Homelander has a healing factor, so it could be reasonable to say that he can heal faster than All Might can.

- Less experienced fighting foes equal to or greater than his caliber

- Prone to panic and breakdowns

- Doesn’t have any means to permanently injure or kill All Might. Neither All For One at his best nor a Nomu specifically engineered to fight All Might were able to kill him. They may have either permanently injured him or reduced his time limit, but they are way above Homelander’s power.

Ending puns:

"All Might truly smashed the competition."

"Homelander achieved a truly diabolical win."

MUSIC/ ORIGINAL TRACK:

Sound/Composition:

Being blunt, I don’t like “Diabolical Invincible Me”. It’s my least favorite score done for the show, namely because of the synths and instrumentation. However, “Homeland Smash" will use similar synths to convey a sense of dread and despair typically associated with Homelander. As the fight carries on, the music switches to orchestral and rock, like “Mighty” , “Symbolic”, and “Continuing The Legacy” to reference All Might’s status as a Symbol of Peace.

When Homelander is trying to intimidate All Might, the synths start heavy and oppressive. Slowly, the instrumentation starts to change. During the climax/final confrontation, it is fully orchestrated, sounding like “United States of Smash” should All Might win The song would end with the orchestration and choir closing us off in a similar way. If Homelander is the victor, then the orchestral and choir elements should sound dire and dangerous, like Mozart’s Dies Irae. Come to think of it, Dies Irae would be the perfect soundtrack for Homelander’s victory since the song’s name means “Day of Wrath”. Homelander sees himself as the God of his world, and he’d be unleashing his wrath on All Might. It’s either that, or we do something similar to the ending of “Diabolical Invincible Me”. Both work for Homelander either way. In other words, there are two different endings, depending on who is the winner.

Honestly, I think this track requires both Brandon Yates and Therewolf Media. Both have worked on “Mighty”, Brandon composed “Diabolical Invincible Me”, and Therewolf has composed two more All Might-centered tracks in the aforementioned “Symbolic” and “Continuing The Legacy”. However, because of the vibe I’m going for, synths, rock, and orchestra, both can contribute since both have done works that incorporate a bit of everything I mentioned, but it’s likely going to be a very tall order.

Name/Title: Homeland Smash

The name makes reference to All Might’s techniques and the origin of “Homelander”. Since All Might and MHA in general were inspired by D.C. and Marvel Comics, both of which originated in the U.S., “Homeland Smash” essentially becomes a second name for “United States of Smash”. If you hate Homelander, then the name spells out what All Might will do.

Cover art:

Art by me. (:

The cover art shows the passing of One For All. It is passed down seven times from one star to the next until the eighth and final receiver is instead a raised fist. Behind the fist is a giant splatter of blood to reference the highlight of gore and blood in The Boys and Compound V to contrast how both constraints obtained their powers. My original idea for the art was like Mighty where there is a smile, but we also see two eyes. One is All Might’s blue and the other is Homelander’s heat vision red eye. It would have included elements from Homelander’s cape (golden eagle holding down an American flag) but the flag shows the passing stars of One For All.

FINAL THOUGHTS AND WORDS:

I want to again mention that I considered All Might at his best, meaning All Might was analyzed when he was stronger than at the start of the series and doesn’t have his scars or a time limit on his form. I added the injuries and true form to the fight here because I think it would make for a great story when integrated well.

This has been one of my favorite MUs to work on. I love the MU itself, and I had a lot of ideas when writing this, not to mention I had some fun connecting it with my previous MHA VS The Boys MU where I tried to set up a story and crossover aspect. If I get more into Billy and Stain, maybe I’ll write something for that MU. Truthfully, I think this may have been my best suggestion thus far. While the creative juices flowed for Iida VS A-Train, they were a stream to this episode’s river of creative flow. I love my suggestions for Azula VS Cinder, Trunks VS The Luminary, Palpatine VS Xehanort, and Chaos VS Kyogre, but I genuinely believe that this suggestion is my best. I find it somewhat impressive because I wrote the ideas of what I wanted and the fight in just a few days, making it my fastest suggestion yet. I just took a lot of time to get it fully fleshed out because of my exams and to iron out some details.

I also genuinely believe that no matter what shape or form this MU takes, it has the potential to become one of the best episodes in DB!’s history.

IDEAS THAT I HAD:

1. Show All Might with a scowl like when villains invaded the USJ

2. Homelander attempts to kill civilians only for All Might to immediately stop him.

3. Homelander spreads panic and All Might spreads hope as they fight across the city.

4. Heat vision cuts off one of All Might’s limbs.

5. Homelander thought that flight could save him only for All Might to New Hampshire Smash into him and then knocking Homelander down with a California Smash or to launch pressurized winds.

6. Homelander’s super shout disorienting or even permanently deafening All Might

7. Homelander starts to have a breakdown as All Might refuses to give up and gains an advantage

8. “A Hero has so much to lose, I know you heard these words before, let me teach you what they mean, PLUS ULTRA!”

9. Homelander laughing evilly as he emerges victorious after using his heat vision vitality for victory. “I’m the Homelander, I do whatever the f*** I want” right before killing All Might.

10. MK1 clash reference

11. All Might lifting his left fist up when victorious

12. End up in Kamino

13. Deku and others try to intervene only for All Might to tell them to back away, and Homelander tries to hurt both of them

14. Homelander strikes All Might’s injuries, attempting to revert him to his true form in front of the public

15. The setup has us passing through a street covered in graffiti and propaganda, hearing a radio newscast or a TV broadcast like Leon S. Kennedy VS Frank West

THANK YOU AND I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS!

NEXT TIME…!

"Link start!” 

Kazuto has activated the Nerve Gear and he passed through the white tunnel and the colored neon streaks. He awoke standing in the middle of the Colinia arena in SAO where he fought Heathcliff. That was a long time ago. He looked in front of him and there stood his foe. He was wearing shades, black shirt and pants, black boots, and a sweet black coat like the first one he wore. Kirito thought that he looked like the protagonist of a movie that gave him deja vú… Both immediately make eye contact and walk towards the center of the arena, stopping within three meters from each other. Kirito opens the menu and sends a duel request. “Ready?” The man simply said, “Yeah.” and accepted the request. Kirito draws his swords and gets ready, and Neo enters a martial arts stance as the timer above them starts to count down.

3… 2… 1…

DUEL START/FIGHT!

Neo VS Kirito (The Matrix VS Sword Art Online) 

--------------------------------------------------

Wow... What an amazing fight. Honestly, I thought Homelander was going to win, though I desperately want All Might to win. Personally, I think All Might fighting post-AFO is a tough case to make, since Homelander is a pretty heavy hitter. Granted, All Might at his best came close against Might Guy while Homelander got easily stomped by Omniman. Overall, I like this fight, and I'm curious to see what comes next with THE ONE against KIRITO.

PS - YOU READY FOR NEXT WEEK?!

[lostdrarryfics]

THE BIG FIND 2023: Day 10

The Big Find is a 10-day long Drarry fic-finding marathon to celebrate the blog’s anniversary. Below is the Day 10 compilation of lost fics, both old and new, that we’ve been unable to find. Our aim is to get as much attention to these lost fics as possible, to help people finally find their missing fics! Anyone can participate by reblogging, reading through each list, providing additional fic details, and informing us the title, author, or link of a fic, and their respective number in the comment section. Happy finding!

10.1 Draco is good and a spy for the light side, I’m not sure if it’s established relationship but he does date harry and one day he found out how lucius basically shame and insult (kinda slutshame) him in the paper, and he kinda has a panic attack and if I’m not mistaken the Weasleys really take care of him. In the end he is pregnant, I’m not sure but I think the title is something like 0.0005 in millions but I can find it.

10.2 The only thing I remember is that Harry is meeting Seamus and Dean with Draco at a diner maybe? Seamus tries to steal food from Harry’s plate and Draco tells him not to do it. Because Harry almost freaked out back in school when Patil tried to do it also. I think it was Lavender who picked some food and Harry’s magic reacted by freezing?/lowered the temp of the Great Hall.

10.3 ao3, chaptered, maybe 8th year but in hogwarts as students. draco stopping himself from completely falling for harry or something, they once went to a club and harry danced (i think it was a lap dance?) in front of draco and their friends. I remember draco taking harry back to his dorm and him leaving a sobering potion for harry to take the next morning because harry was completely drunk that night. I also remember harry regretting what he did the next day. I vaguely remember them both outside a club or pub, draco telling harry to stop what he was asking for because harry has an idea that draco wanted him too and ron saw them both, i don’t know if they kissed or something but harry was drunk. I also remember harry and ginny being close friends and ginny putting on some eyeliner on harry. I also remember ginny dressing up harry and trying things on him or something. and i think at the first scene harry wore these jeans that made his arse looks so good.

10.4 It was before sixth year and before sirius died - maybe end of fourth year or fifth year hols? - and the trio were at grimmauld when narcissa and draco arrive there. apparently narcissa fled from lucius because of voldy and sought refuge at the Black home, not knowing it was the Order’s hq. Eventually the Order lets them stay there, and neither draco nor narcissa go back as a spy.

10.5 looking for a fic that was a one shot. It takes place during sixth year and Draco is having a rough time trying to rebuild the cabinet, but Harry comes up to him because he looks stressed and offers to sleep with him, saying something like “you’d be less of a git if you got laid” (smut ensues but I can’t remember if it was rated M or E). They go to the room of requirement but I know at the end they have a conversation where Harry offers Draco to switch sides.

10.6 completed fic where Harry and Draco work for the ministry (Aurors, I think). Draco is team leader or something like that and pushes the aurors to look for Greyback. Harry thinks he is paranoid to still search for him. But they end up hunting Greyback because Draco’s hunch was right. Draco and Harry always bicker and fight publicly with each other with a lot of inuendo involved. Once they fight in front of the ministry elevators about hunting for Greyback and Harry accuses him of having a relationship with Greyback or something like that. Because of these fights Rita Skeeter that snuck into the ministry as a beetle publishes an article that says the two of them are a couple in secret. So Kingsley (I think) hires another very young reporter (I think Luna’s cousin) to shadow the investigation team to prove otherwise (it doesn’t go as planned). Harry and Draco end up in a lot of compromising situations. Talking about chaining one another or falling and landing on each other when the reporter just enters the room. I think Ron is Harry’s auror partner and there are at least two other members of the team - I think both are OCs. And there was at least one at least in one interrogation with Veritaserum. Unfortunately I don’t know anymore when or where I read the fanfic

10.7 looking for a fic that I read on ao3 but I can only remember a small detail, so no worries if it’s too vague to find it. What I remember is that draco sends molly a gift basket for killing bellatrix and ginny accepts his relationship with Harry because she really liked some of the gifts in the basket.

10.8 Draco is trying to build up a career post war and Harry and he become some sort of reluctant acquaintances. I don’t remember much but there might be some lines which go somewhat like this - “he is my house. I will have to burn everything he touches”. The story is from Draco’s POV

10.9 one of them or both are Aurors and Draco is pretty posh and rich. Somehow Harry has to go after him to Italy or some other beautiful country and he tries to court Draco. I don’t remember if a Auror case is a major point or not.

10.10 looking for a fic that was young Harry and he ran away from the Dursleys early. He does go to Hogwarts but after forwarding his letters to other people like the royal family and hiding from Snape. Gets sorted into Slytherin, good at stealing, even stole McGonagall when she was a cat before she could change back.

10.11 Fred and George send Harry an early birthday present, which is a truth or dare game, which is still in beta testing. The Gryffindors decide to play it. People are in the common room, and slowly they start joining the game. Dean teases Harry that his “type” is tall, blonde, and sarcastic. This happens before Draco joins the game. Eventually the Slytherins also join (they’re the last to join lol) and in this, I guess the game decides to give truth or dare based on your magic or sth, and if you don’t do it, you’re eliminated or sth. And Harry gets some dare to do with Draco obviously ( I think he has to kiss him?) and he does, and the end. Eighth year, hogwarts common room, one shot. Not more than 10k words.

10.12 draco is sentenced as probation to muggle world and works in a bakery then turned into deterioration. Bill helps him and then he returns to hogwarts as professor for potions

10.13 i only remember a specific moment. it’s mpreg and narcissa and harry are with draco while hes in labor and draco asks narcissa if he hurt her coming out, and narcissa said yes and he wasn’t helpful like harry was. and narcissa asks to keep the baby placenta

10.14 i cant remember if it was on ao3 or wattpad. it was titled “home” and the first sentence was something like: “the first time the stranger appeared at the top of the street, thunder rolled and lightning crashed.” the plot: harry disappeared after the final battle, and draco finds him in a muggle village. draco updates harry on the magical world, and romione. harry’s been in love with draco so he sends a letter and draco comes and kisses harry.

[libbee]

Venus in 8th house & relationship trauma

How many lovers have you had and how many did not give you trauma? When did you start dating, btw?

When it comes to venus in 8th, what comes to my mind is a sex magnet, obsessive and devotional. Stop losing yourself in your lover's hands. There is a desire to merge with and consume their lover. The best way I can think of to describe is like cellular fusion in biology:

Reference: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karyogamy

There is a lot of intense energy looking for an outlet. If not romance, she will direct this energy in spirituality. But before she will know her spiritual gifts, she will go through relationship trauma.

It can be seen that the most traumatizing lovers were similar to each other. I met the first one at age 13 and next one at 21. Both were similar in appearance & life identity. The first one ruined my teenage years. The last one gave me mental breakdown. Both these "lovers" were the most traumatizing points in my life. I was OBSESSED with both of them. Both were "secretive" and I met them in dark ways suddenly without warning. Both were predatory and manipulative. I idolized them both and put them on a pedestal. I did a lot of ego massage & codependent wife like treatment.

In my mom's bloodline, there is history of mental issues and emotional chaos. When I was 13, I hardly knew anything about life. But when I was 21, my life had evolved and I had a career, family life, hobbies. But I was infantile in the sense that I was impulsive and irrational. I could not stand being single and was OBSESSED with romantic relationships. This trauma was an opportunity to heal my generational trauma & psychological inheritance.

After my mental breakdown, I came across this content:

Some quotes from this book:

Romantic love always consists in the projection of the soul-image. When a woman falls in love it is animus that she sees projected onto the mortal man before her.

No aspect of the human psyche can live in a healthy state unless it is balanced by its complementary opposite. If the masculine mind tries to live without its “other half,” the feminine soul, then the masculine becomes unbalanced, sick, and finally monstrous. Power without love becomes brutality. Feeling without masculine strength becomes woolly sentimentality. When one side of human nature grows out of balance with the other, it becomes a tyranny in the soul.

One of the great paradoxes in romantic love is that it never produces human relationship as long as it stays romantic. It produces drama, daring adventures, wondrous, intense love scenes, jealousies, and betrayals; but people never seem to settle into relationship with each other as flesh-and-blood human beings until they are out of the romantic love stage, until they love each other instead of being “in love".

Jung once quoted a medieval alchemist who said, “Only what is separated may be properly joined.” When two things are muddled together they need to be separated, distinguished, and untangled so that they may later be rejoined in a workable synthesis. This is the correct meaning of “analysis” in psychology; to analyze is to separate out the entangled threads of one’s inner life—the confused values, ideals, loyalties, and feelings—so that they may be synthesized in a new way. We analyze romantic love, not to destroy it, but to understand what it is and where it belongs in our lives. Analysis must always serve synthesis in order to serve life; what is taken apart must be put back together again.

I unlearned all the default things I learned growing up. It was a complete rebirth in the sense of 8th house transformation. The source of my romance obsession was a deep need for self actualization and spirituality. It was a need for looking within and understanding "myself". I talk about "high value woman" but I automatically became a high value woman once I started self actualizing. I was more confident, more assertive, more stable, in control of my emotions, took time to read books, rationalized my feelings rather than be impulsive, analyzed my values, beliefs, character, flaws, failures, weaknesses. I know my insecurities and know how to handle them. It was a journey from a fucked up person to somewhat rational person. I still have my days of chaos but it gets managed.

This is what I suppose 8th house venus looks like. Self destruction and self development. However, is this the last time we go through this.......