#as long as I can get insurance
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just moved to the Netherlands now I have to deal with insurance switching omg I can't do this I don't even really speak Dutch yet ayayayay
#rambling#it's been very exciting so far#my room isn't ready until monday though so I've kind of been living in the guest room and currently we have like a group of 9th graders#as visitors too so it's been exhausting#next week will be easier#as long as I can get insurance#I moved here for work btw and my official address is still in Germany I just live with my employer in my work place#which sounds weird but it's not considering I'm a mate on a sailing boat#once again 90% of the rambling information is in the tags#thank god for earbuds btw#🙏
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They're all on a family plan
template credit (also in picture)
#this is how I waste my time#Larry has a good time on the phone with phone companies#“you need a dozen cellphones?” “...I have a lot of kids” “you've had 17 devices sent in for repair in the last year” “...yeah that seems ri#“Sir did you know the usage of phones on your plan goes up 400% between 8pm and 6am???” “look can I please just get the extended warranty"#he makes full use of those warranties. and insurance. shit doesn't last long in that museum. blame the miniatures they have way to much fun#he got tired of everyone swiping his phone for mobile games#its hard to explain to people that you didn't get their text because the last time you saw your phone was at 2am when-#you handed it off to a 4000yo teenager to play HayDay on and frankly it could be anywhere and its not worth looking#natm#shitpost#Larry daley#night at the museum#natm jedediah#natm octavius#ahkmenrah#natm ahkmenrah#natm teddy roosevelt#natm sacagawea#natm lancelot#natm Attila#natm nicky#natm tilly#night at the museum 3#natm 3#jedtavius
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Updating my donation post as it's been a few months. I'm still struggling with being homeless and I recently lost my health insurance (yayy turning 26!)
I've applied for section 8 at a local large city but that can take time. I'm also in the months long process of applying for SNAP/medicaid. I've also applied for financial assistance through my work to help me as well but I'm unsure of the turn around time or how much they can assist me.
Currently with the cost of rent in my local area the best option might be for me to renovate a free mobile home. However I need to move it to a lot/mobile home park with hookups and that can cost alot of money. The current estimate I got is around $8,000.
This doesn't include the lot rent per month or the cost of fixing the mobile home. But I do get to own the trailer after and can sell it once I have my feet under me again and ready to move.
I've been looking into so many different options but I'm struggling with finding something in my budget. Current income restricted housing is at a 1 to 2 year wait list. Others require a $48 per person application before you get to even see the apartment (for a one bedroom no less)
I've already made so many sacrifices during this year including not perusing fighting to get my cat back. Unfortunately with the way I can't find housing there wasn't a hope I could find housing and have it allow pets.
I've anyone has suggestions for finding roomates (that's not Facebook) or housing please feel free to message me
I'm also doing donation doodles for any donation over $10, give me a suggestion or prompt when you donate otherwise you get a bug art lol
#star's art#artist on tumblr#my art#mutual fund#Homeless#fundraising#Donation doodles#Kofi#artist on kofi#Housing help#Currently homeless and disabled and I don't have insurance so Im missing my doctor appointment and running out of my ptsd medicine#I'm working two jobs right now as best as I can#But I'm so tired and I just want to finally have a home#I miss my craftroom#I miss having my own personal space#I miss my garden#My cat#Oh ginger I miss you so much#You don't know why I left and never came back#I'm sorry I can't get you#I'm sorry he won#I didn't even get to go to pride this year cause it was fucking sold out and I was hoping to connect with the booths that would help me#I'm so so tired#I've been struggling for so long now#Average rent here is $800 for a one bedroom and over a $1000 for anything else#I've been priced out of where I've been living for over 13 years#And it's not like I can just get random roommates im fucking transgender like that's literally dangerous#I'm disabled and transgender and homeless with ptsd and I'm so tired#Universal basic income when
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hey uh. this month is extremely critical for me as i gear up to find a more stable work situation- i'll be going to conventions with the help of a friend to look for a small art business or collective to join. my health has been badly interfering with this. so any support i get within the next 2 weeks will have my eternal gratitude in return
#.txt#i need to make more money so i can cover health insurance premiums. thats the long and short of it really#i am getting too disabled to freelance solo without burnout making my health worse#and i want to be able to help my friends#if youre sick of seeing my ko-fi posts believe me i am sick of making them. and im doing all this to get to a place where i dont have to
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update: i am Unwell
#i did some research#and i most certainly have a hormone imbalance#that i've definitely had for years don't get me wrong#but it has been Exacerbated Greatly by the sudden onset of 110+ heat#my directors don't want to keep me a full 8 hours at work#and they're generous in giving me days off too#because i am So Fucking Unwell and they can all see it#i'm weak and fatigued and exhausted and dizzy#like tonight i had a moment of 'i need to go inside' and i sounded so weak and looked so shaky that my director said 'no go home'#and they gave me tomorrow off also as well#i am going to call the pcp that was assigned through my insurance tomorrow#this will be my first time in the 9 years i've been in vegas going to a pcp#i have Poor People Trauma re: going to doctors#i avoid it for as long as i can because i historically couldn't afford to see a doctor#i have insurance now so i'm trying to get over that impulse#and i just#i'm kicking myself for not opting into short-term disability when i signed up for benefits#because i don't know how i'm going to handle working until treatment kicks in#it's that bad bros#pray 4 me
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;w; had my top surgery consultation today and it went so well!! I'm so excited, genuinely, and v optimistic about how it'll go!!!
#they're THINKING it'll probably be scheduled sometime in like August/September but it'll be up to how long it takes for insurance to approve#and then I can actually get on the schedule so like! we'll see!! but I'm very hopeful#the surgeon was nice though and I was really glad to have been able to talk to her and like ask questions and stuff and she was v personabl#edited to add: hm why did it post on this blog instead of my main lol#whatever. guess the FL girlies will know about this also
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living in america is literally just like. yeah i could probably benefit from inpatient mental health services but honestly the resulting medical bills would just make me want to kill myself even more
#eliot posts#i'm not in active danger of hurting myself don't worry#just experiencing some Ideations#but i have a long mental list of reasons not to act on those ideations so i'm safe don't worry#ironically one of those reasons is ''i couldn't afford the medical bills for a failed attempt''#suicide mention#suicide tw#tw suicide#american healthcare my beloathed#dogshit private insurance my beloathed#also ironically one of the (multiple) contributing factors towards this fresh wave of ideations is a medical bill i got yesterday#it's nothing too ruinous but it is A LOT like would utterly wipe out my savings level#my parents said they can help me with it (as much as i hate accepting things from them)#and as soon as i mentioned it my very sweet cousin just. sent me the money it would take to cover it#with a ''yeah i trust you'll pay me back once you get a good job like looking at your major you'll be making a lot eventually''#and i've already requested an itemized bill as well as the paperwork for the hospital's financial assistance program#(tho idk how much assistance i'll actually be eligible for bc i'm still legally a dependent)#so hopefully i'll be able to get that bill cut way down#it's just eugh it's so stressful and i had a full on panic attack on the phone with my insurance company yesterday#and my brain's fav response to crushing stress is just ''well we wouldn't have to handle any of this if we Just Fucking Died! :)''
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oh em gee the weather is getting warmer can i finally start wearing my spring-y sunglasses????
& on an unrelated note, recently i discovered Thee most delightful little thing, not to get too much into it 👉👈 but its related to one of my fave anime boys💗 and i've been soooo happeeeee like im suuuper glad i didnt kms b4 when i was depresso 🤪 b.c life is sooooo much better now and i cant imagine having missed out on this experience uwu 💕
#so cliche but it literally does get better lmfaoooo#honestly would not have believed it if u told me before when i was like.. hm 20-24 yrs old? legit wanted to d word but glad i didnt djjsnds#now i feel like i can get thru anything these anime bitches r gonna support me for lyfe#like tbh im still dealing w kinda ew stuff like adult things TAXES RETIREMENT RENT HEALTH INSURANCE and etc other bs thats rly sucking the#life out of me and stressing me out i hate doing adult tasks like fuckkk thattttt#but i havent cried in suchhh a long time like wow im doing great mentally#anyways i love my anime boys thats the point of this post#이 지랄같은 인생
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i think maybe a tattoo would fix me…like maybe i should say fuck it to the fear of fucking it up with my batshit dermatillomania and just GET A TATTOO
#.txt#also now that i can get away with pants and long sleeves <- still scared of pissing my dad off by getting a tattoo at age mid 20s#whatever im off his insurance in a couple months anyway sooooo…
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Treatment
“Take this pill,” They say.
Take this pill and it should work
In a month,
Three months,
Six.
Take this pill,
And it will make you tired.
They all make you tired,
Because they act on the brain,
You see.
Take this pill,
“We’re sorry the others didn’t work.”
We will smile
Sympathetically.
We do care.
Take this
Pill.
It will make you dizzy.
Take this
Injection.
Since it is treatment resistant
Now.
It will hurt,
It will make you itch.
You can still keep taking the old ones,
In case they end up working
Too.
Take this pill,
It should work in one month,
Three months,
Six.
No, we don’t know
Why this is happening.
We don’t know
How to fix it.
Your blood screening was
Normal.
Your CT scan was
Normal.
Take this pill.
-Lane Aconite,
March 5th, 2023
#poetry#my work#lane archives#chronic pain#chronic migraines#chronic illness#this poem is still pretty ouch#the us medical system can really suck in its cyclical lack of progress regarding finding out what's “wrong” with a person#due to crazy long wait times for appointments & processing referrals as well as 4 profit health insurance#my chronic migraines had to escalate into epilepsy for me to be seen by an actual neurologist and be taken seriously & even now I still fee#neglected by the system#not because my drs are bad but because they're overloaded with patients#it's really exhausting & difficult to have to fight at every turn to receive the care we need & deserve when we're bent over in pain#in my experience this repetitive cycle really broke down my ability to advocate for myself for a while because I was just too depressed#but hey if you're reading this and you relate: I love you. You deserve to feel better and to be supported by your physicians#I'm getting better care now but healing isn't linear#and if you have insurance & you're feeling absolutely fucking crushed by the system pls look up if they have a nurse advice line & call the#to see if they're able to set up a complex care coordination plan & if the nurses themselves can set up appointments for you#it really helps to have an insurance lady or 3 you can call to set up appts & referrals or check on them to see where they're stuck#I could write a poem dedicated to all the wonderful women in social services who are literally saving my life every time they call
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woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.
#tumblr ate something like this but I think I deserve to shout uselessly into the void#shits rough dawg#I know it’s rough for everyone. I feel shitty even talking about myself. still… compelled to vent… big butts#haven’t really been on here much since it hasn’t really scratched that itch lately & just makes me feel lonelier#it’s cold#saw the Jazzercise studio open across the street. 5am for Jazzercise? wow. early.#and then everyone left an hour and a half later. lights out. everybody gone. weird schedule. I am perplexed.#went down the road and got a soda and I’ve been sitting in my driveway contemplating for the last 2.5 hours#guy at the gas station tried to talk to me but I just half assed a smile and nod and left#even though I know I’d love to just… talk to someone. I suppose it has to be ‘on my terms’ whatever those are#I miss having a therapist. or even just when my little brothers would talk to me. when anyone would. blegh#my insurance is still a mess and I’m about to run out of one of my blood pressure meds this week#maybe I’ll have a stroke. scary to think about. I think about dying a lot but that potential feels too real. just… pop! and I’m done.#I’ll try today to finally push to straighten it out but everything feels daunting#woke up with so much anxiety. about my health. my hearing. no money. my life. had to get out of the house even if it’s just right outside#hate to say it but I need(want) thc. haven’t wanted to spend money on it but I could have really used it this morning#can’t be sad if you can’t feel anything (jokingly but also not. whichever is less sad sounding)#actually treated myself to Dune 2 last week and it was so so good. wish I could go again. but it’s drugs food or movie right now. so…#I know. dumb priority but BIG SCREEN. maybe it’ll hit theaters again for the next awards season hopefully. just a real nice loud experience#anyway… I should go inside. almost 7am. need to take my brothers to school then drive my mom to her daily appointments#I’ve felt so hollow and angry and sad for so long it feels like. I feels so weak and sad and I’m tired of it. I’m so tired.#I’ve been eating about 1 meal a day and sleeping a lot. this is the worst my body has ever been. I feel like I’m just waiting to die.#is this relatable?#just have to look past it. it is nothing. this body is nothing. just enjoy your soda.#gonna look at pictures of butts now#ok gotta go I love you goodbye forever#you can ignore this#text
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any of y'all know how to swim 😭😭😭
#all people and the dog are safe#the cats are still inside we really want to get to them tomorrow if possible#i don't know how bad the damage is. house might be done for cars probably done dor#now i know why they forced me to get flood insurance lol#we're okay. as long as the cats are okay i can lose everything else.
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youtube
a n y w a y s listen to nagisa’s new song it’ll change your life
#this new v tuber singer dude is excellent at singing ngl. his voice is very upbeat and goes well with the song#[enojun version waiting room intensifies]#ok but. is it s e r i o u s l y just me or did they actually use a ukulele for this song#idk but that ukulele-sounding instrument reminds me of this guy who would walk around playing his ukulele at school back in the days of yore#the backing track also sounds familiar somehow… like one of those kindness movements/life insurance commercials maybe?#no idea wh y but i can picture nagisa singing this by the beach. y’know. nagisa singing at the nagisa—#this song is def gonna make me laugh or cry (or both) when it gets an mv…#it could be either hilarious or heartbreaking with no in-between#but man. nagisa. his long time crush comes back home looking (presumably) like a maiden in love and he’s just.#‘:( i’m not the one who made her like this :((( but she’s super cute though’#i m mad coping with the thoughts that hiyoko started to fall for nagisa with the distance between them (absence and the fonder heart or sth)#a n d that she only seemed fine when she went back bc she didn’t want him to see her upset about having to leave for the city b u t.#auasusuxuxuxuxhaughhhhhshhshshshshsh im c o p i n g#if hiyo ends up with one of the lips im gonna write a nagisa x the leftover lip enemies to lovers manifesto d o n t t e s t m e o k—#aaaaaaauauaaaaaaaaaaa im sorry i lied when i said i was done with my 2k23 nagisa crisis i’ll be done after this. maybe.#the dude from gamushara
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someone on here will literally say "encouraging plastic surgery for the sole purpose of conforming to eurocentric beauty standards isn't actually feminism" and 200 other people will come out of the woodworks and chant in harmony LET WOMEN BE HAPPY and WHAT ABOUT TRANS PEOPLE AND BURN VICTIMS as if the post wasn't clearly 1. about womens' self image & insecurities being strongly influenced by the richest and whitest of society and 2. not about trans people or burn victims at all
#ive thought about it a lot and i know the main argument is that it's bodily autonomy and also having it more widely available makes it#easier for the people who really do need it to get it#but like. first of all the industry (and it is an industry) spends SO much money convincing women their bodies look wrong#if it wasnt advertised everywhere and if the expectation wasnt there to look 'perfect' according to the most recent trends#the amount of women getting elective plastic surgery would be drastically lower#second of all. yeah having more surgeons out there means more experience and safer treatments for those who really need it..#as long as they have the money#and for trans people as long as they have money and/or good insurance and/or all the required medical documentation and/or therapy#and at the end of the day you can criticize just part of something but not all of it. i feel like a lot of people forget that when they#start saying shit online. just stop and think and dont interact with people assuming the worst of them!!#when i criticize the beauty industry im never calling any woman who's ever worn makeup or gotten a facelift evil it's an INDUSTRY#it's systemic!!!#almost reminds me of how criticizing the patriarchy and systemic misogyny as a lesbian will get u painted as some man hating terf#i love men! i dont blame individual men for the system we're all a part of i just criticize its existence and try to work to dismantle it#and i know complaining on the internet is like a little raindrop in the ocean but still. it needs to be discussed i think
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Well five hours, two breakdowns, and two phone calls later, I have insurance!! :D
I was having a breakdown bc I tried to apply on the marketplace and they were like no you're too poor, you can't afford it. You get Medicaid.
I don't WANT Medicaid bc none of my drs take it, I would be paying more out of pocket with them than if I paid for my own, and it's only taken at shit places in my experience.
So finally mom figured out where you can buy it and the lady was like sure how much can you budget monthly? And I got a pretty good plan I think idk it's Molina, and the lady said I can get reduced payments if I call her again during the first two months. And I'm covered starting july 1st 🥳 yayyy
Oh and the coverage seems really good for the price (and compared to medicaid) like everything is pretty much covered thank god for less than I'm paying now for copays 😭
#it was such a pain in the fucking ass though#bc if you go through the marketplace it says anything under 20k is Medicaid only but if you call an agent from like an insurance help place#they're like okay average yearly income and how much can you budget? okay we'll say it's 21k if they ask but as long as you know you can#afford the payments it's fine ;) like thank god sgdgdggd#i was considering working 5 hours a day and having to wait a full year after that to get insurance at work or#make the bare minimum to not have Medicaid but thank god for mom sgdggdgd#i have heartburn now though aggsgsggd so thats great#marquilla
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i'm going to the dentist tomorrow and being really brave about it. extremely. because i need to get my wisdom teeth out very soon but i have to do a consultation first. i'm being brave. i promise. i'm brave...... :(
#wish me luck.....im actually going to cry#soooooo like i have a blood phobia which makes me really afraid to go to the doctor#also i didnt have insurance until i moved to japan LOL.#so there's a bunch of weird stuff and associations i have with going to get my Health Checked#we have mandatory yearly health checkups and in my town everyone signs up for a day/time and goes to a big gym#and you wait in line with all these doctors who test your hearing and pee and lungs etc#but also your blood#last year i had only lived in fukushima for two months or so#and i was really dreading the checkup but i was being brave because it's MANDATORY i have no choice#(also free yay)#but when they drew my blood i literally fainted in front of everyone#i didnt realize i was going to do that because i haven't in a really long time#even though i was crying while waiting my turn because i was so scared 😭😭😭😭#anyways it was actually so terrifying because people were saying things that i couldnt understand while i was basically on the ground#the doctor later told me my heart rate was so fast he thought i was going to have a heart attack and almost called an ambulance#but i was like no lol i just have a phobia. and he was like umm can you tell us next time?#my bad#anyways he told me to stay home for the rest of the day so i did#it also happened to be the day before the school festival#so when i came the next day everyone rushed up to me and was like ARE YOU OKAY#and i was confused like yeahhhh im fine i just got a little sick haha#but it turns out there was a rumor that i was carried away in an ambulance from fainting lmfao#like nah one of my coworkers just drove me back home lol#very long story just to say....#im going to faint again probably. even though it's just a consolation.#text
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