#as jojo has with his irl partner

[firstkanaphans]

feelig slightly insane about this x(.)com/sanajnlove/status/1889697007196917901

Khaotung starting to cry as soon as First points out that this series has a lot of similarities to their real lives (such as the cats and the Northern Lights) 😭

[froggi1337]

Was a little anxious to post this, but here goes.

Who’s your favorite character to write?

Perhaps my favorite character to write was my Mage: The Awakening character: Jonas Moore, shadowname, “John Doe”. He was a rookie cop in the wrong place at the wrong time with his mentor and partner. They walked into a wizard trap and got their shit fucked up, Jonas surviving as unscratched as he did only because his mentor was in front of him as the entered. This awoke his mage powers, however, he awoke in a coma and spent the next week trapped in a world of nightmares. He'd wake up and vanish to parts unknown, returning anonymously with the shadowname “John Doe” some years later to investigate his partner's death. I had a lot of freedoms with that character I hadn't been able to experience through a free-form social media roleplay on Formspring (if anyone remembers that), and I think the game experience has a lot to do with my fondly remembering of this character more than anything.

An alternate take I didn't want to throw out was: My favorite character to write was perhaps Virgil Wayne in a JoJo's Bizarre Adventure roleplay called Port Holiday. It was my first positive roleplay experience after The Cards, even if it was mired by the usual internet drama that follows those kinds of open rp communities. But I digress, I look back on Virgil and the things I got to do there very fondly and I hope to find an experience half as good as the one I had there one day soon. My experience roleplaying Mage beats out Port Holiday mostly because I didn't have my own story arcs indirectly shelved by my friends in my tabletop game as opposed to the fandom roleplay which actively ignored me.

Who’s your least favorite to write?

Off the top, it's Joseph Johnson, aka, the Ace of Hearts. He's always been such a nothing bro character, and I've tried to overhaul him multiple times in the past but getting stuff to stick has been difficult. I've got so far as to consider shelving or outright scrapping the character, and giving his role to one of my more capable characters. Then again, it isn't like I haven't made progress with Joe's development... I just wish his fleshing out process would go smoother!

Who’s your favorite character overall?

This was one fluctuates quite a bit, especially these days as my little universes of characters slowly expand. But honestly, I'd be a fool if I didn't acknowledge my roots and admit I come back to my favorite dirtbag, Francis “Fran” Daniels. She's been with me since I was a wee child, and even transitioned alongside me irl and fellow mainstay OC Victoria Wayne.

Which character(s) do you love to hate?

There's one clear winner by a mile, it's Alan McGregor. I wanted to make Alan as obviously toxic with his personality as possible, for a villain like him. He's taking advantage of a lot of people and a lot of them don't even require his super intrusive telepathy powers. I lifted inspiration from the big name Republican politicians of my time (yes, especially Trump).

What’s the easiest thing to write for you?

I like to think if nothing else that I'm quite good at openers. I love to try and set decent scenes for readers, gives me a chance to build a new scene and place new and interesting characters together that likely haven't met before. What's not to love?

What’s the hardest thing to write for you?

The moment we go beyond an intro, I lose track of the story. Weaving a narrative is much harder than one might make it look. The establishing shot of the story is great and all, but I also have to write the rest of the story and that's the hardest part for me.

Do you plan everything out before you write or do you sit down and go with the flow?

No, my writing sessions have always been more impromptu; although, my goal this year's to improve my relationship with work. I want to try and actively work on planning out what I'm writing more often (not starting not lol).

What songs do you listen to get in the writing mood?

I usually put on a scramble, although suggestions are welcome! Additionally, it's really easy for me to write for Fran when I put on 'Sound of Silver' by LCD Soundsystem or Van Halen/any 80's dad rock. Alan is easier to write or otherwise plan out in my head to musicians like Kanye West or MF DOOM.

Do you have songs that you associate with certain characters?

Buddy I've debated making whole playlists lol

How do you get around a writer’s block, if anything?

Weed.

Is there a certain type of character you favor writing over the others?

The snide bad boy with a soft streak is a personal favorite of mine, I'm also a fan of guy who's a deranged bad ass in spite of the circumstances against them. I love a good underdog story!

What is one character you love but rarely/never write?

I love Tomas O'Valen! My beloved red mask wearing boy rarely sees the sun anymore, and while I'm sure that's fine and dandy for him mommy says he needs his vitamin d

Is there one character that always fights you when you try writing them?

I get a lot of resistance from Leon, I think it's because I've been kind of anxious about him being a little bland compared to everyone else. Compared to everyone else, he feels less finished but I'm not to worried. His part in the story of the world he's in comes much later.

What is your go-to ‘self-indulgent’ genre of writing (such as comfort, angst, enemies to friends, etc.)?

You'd have to find my F-List for that one, and I don't give that out to just anyone I'll have you know.

I kid, I kid. I'm very self-indulgent about fight scenes, I'm that kid always banging their actions figures together. Pushing them to their limits, seeing how much I can make them physically and mentally break each other. Plus seeing two characters at odds go against one another like good vs evil is always fine, even if the characters aren't always morally black & white. Because who cares, this motherfucker carries six pistols because he watched 'The Boondock Saints' in theaters and thought that one guy was “cool as fuck.”

What two characters did you never expect to work together?

I didn't expect Tomas and Fran to have as much equal ground to stand on. Sure, in-lore Tomas knew Francis' grandfather and father but she was never fond of those people (especially her grandpa, he was a sourpuss in his old age by the time they met). And yet, Tomas can be considered a sort of family biographer by now, having personally known and befriended 3+ generations of Fran's family.

What’s one writing weakness you want to work on?

I need more creative stamina or energy while writing, if this questionnaire has taught me anything. Once I'm started it's great, I'm on a roll and I can bang out a start in a heartbeart, most the time. However, it becomes quite clear when I start to lose steam while writing, and I want to work on that. If only to at least hide my exhaustion on paper.

Are you prone to leaving unfinished WIPs or do you strive to finish everything you write?

In hindsight, not as many one might think lol

What is one theme/storyline/idea you wish to write but never have?

Well, a FULL story is any kind of answer. But I jest, I want to write sci-fi. More specifically mecha, I absolutely adore Gundam and I'd love to build dioramas and write little stories centered around them. Hell, I'd love a shot at building my own original setting for a mecha sci-fi. I have a little bit of one Aon paper, but I put in on the back burner due to the scope being a little overwhelming for me at this stage of my writing career.

What is one story idea you have in your head right now?

Francis Daniels throws Drake Morrison in front of a train lol

Random Writer Questions

Can be for canon, non-canon, fanfics, RPs, OCs, or anything in between.

Who’s your favorite character to write?

Who’s your least favorite to write?

Who’s your favorite character overall?

Which character(s) do you love to hate?

What’s the easiest thing to write for you?

What’s the hardest thing to write for you?

Do you plan everything out before you write or do you sit down and go with the flow?

What songs do you listen to get in the writing mood?

Do you have songs that you associate with certain characters?

How do you get around a writer’s block, if anything?

Is there a certain type of character you favor writing over the others?

What is one character you love but rarely/never write? 

Is there one character that always fights you when you try writing them?

What is your go-to ‘self-indulgent’ genre of writing (such as comfort, angst, enemies to friends, etc.)?

What two characters did you never expect to work together?

What’s one writing weakness you want to work on?

Are you prone to leaving unfinished WIPs or do you strive to finish everything you write?

What is one theme/storyline/idea you wish to write but never have?

What is one story idea you have in your head right now?

&- Free slot, ask your own question here.

[appeypie]

alright i’m curious, what’s your cinderella hate essay

i got 2 asks for this and i dont want to disappoint The People…

also im putting this under a readmore because it got too long. im sorry for ranting about jojo's bizarre adventure. can you forgive my sins....

TLDR; cinderella (stand) is a love potion, love potions are nonconsensual and not compelling. it rips koichi of his free will, and yukako is able to manipulate him, without any pushback or consequences. there's no growth!!! araki still cannot write women!!!

also aya sucks too. cringe episode. cringe arc.

im so sorry for this incoming text wall

i think the first thing that's really important that i need to get out of the way first is that cinderella's ability IS a love potion. like straight up. and obviously love potion stories are creepy and unconsensual

when i say this, people tend to push back against the idea but its true. how else would you categorize it? koichi would not give yukako the time of day pre-cinderella, even for a second, and in the anime was even seen RUNNING AWAY FROM HER in fear when he saw her on the streets 😭.. and then, suddenly after yukako visits aya once, he is being kind to her. even worried about her. and willing to go to the cafe with her alone.

he is apparently so 'in love' with yukako that he decides to potentially GO BLIND FOR HER??? HUH??? these kids know NOTHING ABOUT EACH OTHER BTW!!! they have no common interests. in their first interactions, yukako thought he was a lying cheater who she needed to fix. and koichi literally hated her, and was terrified of her. she stressed him out so hard that he thought he killed his own stand

like, koichi is incredibly kind and forgiving, but literally nothing in their relationship changed so that he would be comfortable even being near her. its just too sudden. last time they were interacting, koichi was telling her that he hated her and complaining that she "never listens to anything [he says]". she has this pattern of ignoring his opinions and feelings... and it obviously didnt end in yukako falls in love.

also this line:

[Image ID: a picture of diu's official manga translation. aya tsuji is saying, "you're mistaken. in his heart, i'm sure that koichi has fallen in love with you. but his rational mind is still resisting you" /.End ID]

girl "his rational mind"??? you mean the mind that isn't attracted to her in any way.. who remembers the abuse, and how unwilling to change she is 😭

the existence of this arc erases any interesting character growth that yukako could have had. she goes from telling koichi that "i will make you love me, if i can't have you, i'll just kill you, you belong to me" etc etc etc, to "ok, maybe i don't need him after all" at the end of her initial episodes. and then suddenly she regresses back to "actually i do want him" and then she gets him, with no substantial growth on her end.

she isnt kidnapping him this time which is good i guess, but she continues to ignore koichi's free will and agency by "bending fate" so that they can be together. that's just not ok to me

but i think the reason why im so reactive to yukako's situation, and not someone similar like rohan, is that irl mangakas DON'T steal your memories for manga material (i'm pretty sure). but people ARE abused by their romantic partners. yukako's abuse is cartoonish, making koichi eat paper and erasers and building him an electric chair, but its still uncomfortable (especially considering she ends up with him in the end).

[Image ID: a cap from the jojo manga. yukako says, "and you'll thank me. you'll realize that you need me. you won't be able to go on living without me." koichi is sweating and looks shocked and angry /.End ID]

i also feel like people don't seem to take domestic abuse as seriously with women perpetrators. we girlbossify them instead. it all just feels so icky to me, i cant shake it.

everything is made worse by the fact that araki CANNOT!!! write women or f/m relationships well in early-mid era jojo. rohan, tamami and others in the koichi fanclub have clear character arcs, they get better. yukako just doesn't. or at least it isnt enough

aya tsuji is also a flop of a character as well.. i've never heard anyone talk about this, maybe just out of discomfort, but she seems like a predatory lesbian trope. there are a few scenes where she is touching yukako inappropriately or ogling her (and i know with araki's art, it's hard to remember, but she's 16!). it's honestly just so uncomfortable i hate it lol. it's a shame bc i love seeing stand users who aren't attacking the protags, and instead just use their stand for their jobs… but again. araki cant write women. at least women can actually have stands without dying now. but we are far from stone ocean... we'll get there eventually....

ok tbh i have more thoughts but i think for all of our sanity im going to end it here. also my browser glitched and deleted some of this so i wanna be done with it

listen. if you ship them thats fine, really i cant stop you, though i'd recommend thinking about the implications a little harder. yknow. maybe you could rewrite canon so its not incredibly creepy. bc araki flops sometimes and it is perfectly moral to correct him (i do it all the time!!!!!!!)

and for the people who make abuse jokes with them: you get no bitches. also tell your dad to stop calling me and sending me money, its really desperate and i already have enough boyfriends. its embarrassing

[raspberryranpo]

Heyy may i request Russian caravan tea or chai tea with obey me brothers? Love your headcanons ^^ Stay safe xx

obey me brothers & russian caravan + chai tea

obey me! shall we date?: obey me brothers

russian caravan tea: how experienced are they with relationships?

chai tea: how do they spice up their relationship?

i’ve been watching jojo with my dad & i’ve just noticed that joseph, smokey & caesar are voiced by the voices of lorenz, akechi/hubert & nagito 😭 dead

——> tea prompts

LUCIFER

how experienced are they with relationships?

he’s experienced all right. he’s had many a partner, but most of his relationships weren’t really centred around love

he probably finds it hard to love someone genuinely with his stubborn pride and all that

but he knows exactly what he’s doing and how to go about things - he’s very attentive

how do they spice up their relationship?

lucifer is very stubborn and doesn’t like to admit his true feelings - we all know that, so to spice up his relationship, he’d probably give in and just tell you exactly how he feels

it has to happen when he’s tired, he will not do it otherwise; it definitely cannot be around his brothers, either

you’ll both be lying in his bed & he’ll be telling you how much he cares for you and how much he appreciates all that you’ve done for himself and the people around him

MAMMON

how experienced are they with relationships?

mammon’s definitely had quite a few partners of his own, too

i bet that mammon always falls quickly and deeply for someone, which leads to him always getting really upset over breakups that he causes himself

so yes, he’s had partners, and he knows what he’s doing. doesn’t mean he won’t cry his eyes out if he upsets you at any point though

how do they spice up their relationship?

i’ve heard somewhere that when the avatar of greed likes you, you’ll find yourself being surrounded by riches (or something along those lines)

so that obviously means that mammon likes to buy you pretty things whenever he thinks of you, right??

maybe he’ll get decide you deserve bigger & get you a holiday to somewhere fun in the human world with an extra ticket (in case you decide to bring along your favourite demon)

LEVIATHAN

how experienced are they with relationships?

not at all. he probably has not had a single girlfriend for longer than a few days because they quickly realise how bad his envy can get

he’s dated online girls. by online girls i mean anime girls because he’s probably just as awkward on mic to girls as he is irl

levi likes to think that he knows what he’s doing, though. he definitely does not, so you’ll have to coach him through this because he doesn’t think he’ll get very far

how do they spice up their relationship?

to spice up his relationship, levi’ll probably just take you somewhere where he wouldn’t normally take you

i mean, there’s no way he’s leaving his room or going any further than the arcade. there’s no chance.

levi probably designs some sort of game in which you both get sucked in & visit all of your favourite places, and at the end, he sucks up his awkwardness and tells you how much he seriously appreciates you

SATAN

how experienced are they with relationships?

satan’s probably had a few significant others over the years, but not any that he actually cared about

but he reads a load of books every day, and he’s probably one of those types of people that can just imagine how to do things & do it perfectly

he doesn’t need experience when he’s got a mind like that

how do they spice up their relationship?

most of your dates are quiet cafe dates, or you both sit in his room reading together, or you both wander off and bug lucifer for a bit

so to change things up, he takes you somewhere a bit more exciting - maybe to a fair ground, or an abandoned cave full of lost spells

holds your hand constantly, wherever you go - he says it’s to make sure that you don’t get lost, but he just really wants to hold your hand

ASMODEUS

how experienced are they with relationships?

asmo is very experienced with relationships... but not of the romantic kind

i mean, he’s had a few romantic partners, but never for too long since commitment probably isn’t his kind of thing

but you’re very different. he’s said before that he feels an attraction to you like he’s never felt before

what do they do to spice up their relationship?

i think we all know what asmo’s ideal date is, so i’m not going to say it

but he’s not ALL about that. i mean, sure, he lives for that kind of thing, but he also loves doing little things with you that don’t have to lead up to that, you know?

he’d take you to a small cafe on the edge of town, where neither of you will be bothered, and you’d sit there & talk about whatever you like for hours

BEELZEBUB

how experienced are they with relationships?

beel probably did have quite a few partners before he met you - he is a demon, and one of the strongest in the devildom, but he has the biggest heart out of all of his brothers

he knows what he’s doing but that doesn’t mean he’ll do it all that well

he just gets kind of nervous around you at times - he cares so much about you that he constantly worries that he’s not doing the best he can

how do they spice up their relationship?

when asmo told him that he should change things up & spice up his relationship, his mind went straight to curry and spicy chicken and peppers.... oh....

but he knew what he meant. so immediately he started planning something exciting, something different - a short hike to see the stars!!

he’s a romantic like that. when you get there, he shows you his & belphie’s stars, the stars of his brothers, and he even names some constellations that you’ve never even heard of before

BELPHEGOR

how experienced are they with relationships?

you really think belphie has the will to get out of bed and talk to someone other than his brothers?

absolutely none. he could not care less about relationships and the like (well, before now, that is)

he has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. please help him

how do they spice up their relationship?

by actually getting out of bed for once, obviously

his ideal date is just lounging around in bed all day, and since he feels a bit bad that nothing else ever happens, he’d take you out to a fancy restaurant somewhere

he knows that fancy restaurants are always romantic date spots, so he makes sure to constantly make you feel loved while you’re both in there by throwing compliments at you left, right & centre

[honeytea8]

✨✨La Squadra Boyfriend Headcanons✨✨

[Alexa, play Boyfriend by Big Time Rush]

Guys, I spend an ungodly amount of time thinking about La Squadra, so here are some bf headcanons for the sexiest group of assassins in Naples. No one asked but I am bringing it straight to your dash anyway! (under the cut for length lmao)

I’m going to start with Prosciutto, who has recently fallen on my radar pretty heavy! 

He’s a good and decent boyfriend, if not a busy one. Not that he doesn’t care about the relationship, but most of his energy was going to Passione things before you waltzed in and so he’ll struggle a bit between his work responsibilities and maintaining his relationship with you, but only in the beginning. 

If you are also a part of Passione, it’s a hell of a lot easier to manage. 

I see Prosciutto as the gift-giving type: lingerie, sweets, perfume, designers, etc. His salary isn’t the best, but he manages it as well as he can just to accommodate you! 

I just can’t get the idea out of my head that Pro was raised by a strict mama, that’s why he can be a bit of a stickler sometimes. He’ll catch you still lounging in bed at nine am, and be like “Why are you still in bed? Get dressed, we’re going out.” Dude!

I’m sorry to say, but Prosciutto is absolutely the ‘lecturing’ type. (He lectured someone in nearly every scene in the anime, Formaggio once and Pesci numerously and Bucci too) 

He will lecture you when you make mistakes, especially because as his s/o, he has high expectations for you and believes you’re capable of so much more. It’s never, ever out of hate. He loves you, and that’s why he chides you a bit lol. 

This does not negate the fact that he doesn't mind when you lean on him for support. He likes when you count on him, because he always comes through especially for you!

Depending on whether you’re in the mafia or not, I totally see him sparring with you, or working out with you in an effort to make you tough. Prosciutto wants you to be able to defend yourself, just in case. If you complain, he’ll tell you, “Better safe than sorry, tesoro”.

Prosciutto will respect you, period.

A good listener, goddamn! He’s up there with Risotto when it comes to who listens to their s/o more! If you have an issue, he’ll hear you out and offer advice if you want it. If you give him advice, he’ll take it into serious consideration. He’s honestly a good partner, can’t stress that enough.

Finally, sex with Pro is an entire event. Romantic dinner, candles lit, wine, the whole nine yards before he gives you nine inches of something else :) (I’m kidding!! Lmao, kinda). 

But as I said, Prosciutto is quite deliberate, and a bit of a perfectionist. He knows what to do and how to do it, you can trust him.

Ghiaccio is next only because he’s my favorite. 

The ice gremlin is probably the most interesting (and hilarious) boyfriend out of the bunch (I say this with only a tidbit of bias). He isn’t funny himself, but funny shit just happens to him. 

Because of this, he will use you as a soundboard when everyone else refuses to listen to him. He’s got a lot to say, so be prepared for his TEDtalks. LMAO!

It will take some perception on your part to notice when he actually expects a response from you, and other times he’s just ranting to get his point out. 

He will correct your grammar when you text, but barely notices when he makes a similar mistake (his brain moves in mph). Please use the proper names like Venezia, Italia, Roma and Napoli when talking to this man; save yourself from the headache.

When it comes to dates, please have mercy on him, he’s a textbook over-thinker! You’ll just have to plan something simple at home for you both to enjoy. 

He isn’t incapable of planning dates, but he’ll want everything to be so absolutely perfect for his s/o and will throw a fit when it ultimately isn’t. 

Contrary to popular belief, I think that Ghiaccio is a pretty attentive partner. He’s super intelligent and I think a part of it stems from his innate ability to read people (I’m referencing the part in the anime where he deduced what Giorno and Mista had come to look for, while going off very little information). 

The more time he spends with you, the better he gets at it. 

His form of affection will be shown through the amount of time you both spend together. When it comes to sex or anything related to that, be gentle and slow as Ghiaccio will likely be a flustered mess. 

As he becomes more comfortable and confident, he will be bolder and just ask out right if you’ll suck him off tonight or not. The man appreciates directness, so don’t bother being coy. “You want me to give you head? Cool, lay down a towel or something.” is what he’ll probably say.

Very practical 👌🏾👌🏾

Melone, good lord, he’s kind of perfect. 

A bit of a doting boyfriend here and there—very much concerned about your health. Expect him to ask if you’ve eaten, or taken your multivitamin. How are your bowel movements?  LMAO

It can become a bit much, but he really genuinely cares. He’s not asking to be intrusive or nasty! If he was, you’d know. 🤣

But I seriously consider Melone to be the one (at least among La Squadra) who is way, way invested in his relationships. He will know every little detail about you; will ask you lots of questions and expects you to ask him just as many. 

This may be annoying to some, but this dude will definitely bring up your horoscope in an argument. He’ll be like “I honestly can’t fathom why you’re being this way, though it’s to be expected from a libra.” 

Peg this bitch so he can shut up.  

Melone is also touchy as hell, but not in a clingy way. He loves touching, and just to tag onto the headcanon about his partial blindness, I want to say that he’s so touchy because that’s how he ‘sees’ you best.

Just know that half the time, he isn’t touching you to be lecherous, even if he genuinely does like the feel of your skin under his fingertips. Melone will even encourage you to touch him back. 

Rub his thigh or back and he’ll be simping.

He is obsessed with your legs, and will paint your toes if you let him. 

LOVES PDA! Melone will also tongue-kiss you in public if you let him!

Notice how I keep saying ‘if you let him’. Give him an inch and he’ll press you for a mile, so if there are boundaries you would like to establish, please do, cuz he sure as hell won’t, just saying!

When it comes to sex, Melone is a dick and coochie sensei. Oral is his favorite thing to do, probably enjoys giving more than receiving to be honest. I’d say he’s pretty much mastered sex for what it is. 

That being said, if he’s ever talking out of his neck, just invite him to put his mouth to better use. He’ll even thank you for your gracious request.

Formaggio is next 💀 

According to my JoJo compatriots from discord, he’s like the Optimus Prime of fuckboi’s so let’s ride that wave for a bit! LMAO

I hope it doesn’t come as a surprise that Formaggio is pretty shameless. He will send you a dick pic on Sunday morning before church and have the audacity to say “Just wanted to bless you real quick”. 

@autumn-kouhai mentioned him giving his s/o sickly sweet pet names and I just have to agree. 

Expect to be hit upside the head with: baby-boo, sugar plum, honey bunches, sweetums. I can imagine them becoming really ridiculous too like “the last piece of red velvet cake” or “cheddar bae biscuits from Red Lobster”

His catch phrase is “Got nudes?”

Send them, and he won’t be afraid to reply with something equally sexy. 

Be warned though, he will stockpile whatever you send him and then be careless with his phone. If you don’t mind Illuso’s snoopy ass seeing your nudes then by all means, have at it. Otherwise, send them through snapchat, so they disappear later. 

As far as La Squadra boyfriends go, he’s the most fun! Y’all don’t even go anywhere because man’s is broke. BUT, Formaggio knows how to have a good time without any need to spend money (my kind of dude tbh) you guys just crank up the tunes, dance, and get lit until the neighbors complain. 

Formi is also the CEO of jokes/memes, and will have you in absolute tears almost always! I literally tell my friends that funny guys are so dangerous, don’t sleep on them! They will make you laugh until your panties drop, it’s magic, I swear. Formaggio has that same energy. 

No matter how bad of a day his s/o is having, rest assured, he will draw the biggest laugh out of you.

Besides his fuckboi tendencies, his most redeeming quality is the fact that he’s super cool and fun to hang with. You’ll literally have a good time, always, because his energy is right! Very good vibes around this man, I swear! It’ll be exactly like dating your best friend, because essentially, he will be your bestie.

Formi has many moments of tenderness that aren’t sexually charged too—moments where the jokes stop and he’ll just rub your back or feet, this is usually when you aren’t feeling well and need some quiet. 

However, Formaggio won’t let you mope all day, he’ll pull out the big guns and call you his “sweetie baby” and when you try to resist he’ll say “What, I’m just tryna show you some love.”

He’s a good dude lmao I’d date a guy like him irl 😭

Pesci stans wya??! Let’s get into this baby boy. 

Pesci is boyfriend material, idgaf what anyone says. 

He is pretty much the least problematic to be with among all of La Squadra, even more so than Risotto (don’t argue with me). 

Pesci is hyper aware of your likes and dislikes and will literally go out of his way to make sure that you’re well and okay. 

Arguments are basically nonexistent and if they occur it ain’t coming from his side. 

I also think that Pesci has a lot of empathy, so when you’re going through something, he’s right there in the thick of it with you. If you’ve seen that meme that goes ‘when my gf is on her period it’s UterUS’ lmao that’s Pesci’s energy 100%. 

Sometimes, he’s more of a lover and not a fight, that is perfectly okay!

However, if someone tries up his s/o, say farewell to Mr. Niceguy. He will defend your honor to his dying breath. And with you in his corner, trust me, he’s not going down. 

A romantic at heart, Pesci will plan little date trips like picnics in the park or boat trips to Capri, actually, I’d like to point out that he excels in the art of date planning. If you’re the adventurous type, he’ll plan outings where you both will be more active, like biking through the city or renting a mop-ed and going sight-seeing. 

Because Pesci has a sensitive stomach, he’s very much considerate of what you both put in your bodies. If you have dietary restrictions or allergies, this guy knows all about it and will cater to you perfectly. 

A true gentleman through and through, he will never force himself on you, ever. In fact, he really doesn’t like engaging in anything sexual when you’re drunk or high, sorry if you’re into that! 

Pesci is the kind of guy who keeps up with your favorite shows.

If ya’ll have similar taste in media or literature, he will immerse himself in it so that he can relate to you all the more.

If there’s anyone who will entertain anime-related discourse, no matter how nonsensical, it’s Pesci. And he isn’t just putting up with it, he’s actively engaging in the conversation so you are always heard and validated. 

He’s an A+ boyfriend, that’s all I gotta say! Haters can stay mad :)

Goddamn Illuso... idk man.

I really feel like you have to have thick/tough skin to handle this guy, for various reasons. 

The first being that Illuso can be a bit mean at first. He’ll push your buttons on purpose just to see what’ll make you tick. Will tease the living heck out of you, always, kind of a bully lmao but not to the extreme, it’s just his brand of humor—and the thing is, he won’t be mad when you dish it right back, so it’s cool. 

Secondly, Illuso has big dick energy!! 

I mean rightfully so, because he is indeed packing! But my word, he ain’t humble about it at all! 

He is not above making jokes about ‘splitting you in half’. In fact all of his jokes have hidden, dirty undertones! 

His affection is shown through speech mostly. Illuso will drop subtle innuendos and provocations, half to see you flustered and half because he wants you to know how much he wants you. 

Illuso isn’t incredibly vocal about his feelings outside of ‘I’m tryna hit that thang’ but you won’t doubt that he loves you because Illuso doesn’t waste his own time. 

If he’s spending his time with you, you can rest assured that it’s because he wants to. 

Illuso is a voyeur and you’ll just have to understand/accept that and move on. 

He loves watching you and will even creep over to your place through the mirror world just to hang or watch you do chores. Loves to surprise you and give you jump scares lmao it’ll make you a tad paranoid but it’s also fun. 

Illuso is prone to random bouts of sweetness; it’s very sporadic, very touch-and-go. 

One day, you’ll wake up to chocolates on your dresser or new shoes, lingerie, or makeup if you wear it. I imagine that if you’re low on funds, he will even help you buy your groceries that week. 

It’ll surprise the hell out of you, but that’s just how Illuso is. He enjoys keeping you on your toes! 

He’s prideful and smug as hell, so he will definitely expect a thank you, because even if he does it out of the kindness in his heart, he also wants to hear that you appreciate him

Same goes for the bedroom scene. Illuso loves making you vocal, it’s his favorite thing in the world, so he’ll make a game out of doing the things that get the biggest reaction out of you. Like I said, it's that big dick energy at work here, smh.

Sorbet and Gelato in a polyamorous relationship with you? Let’s get it! 

We don’t get anything substantial about these two except that Sorbet follows the money, so these are all personal headcanons for how I see and write them. 

Here’s the juice: when it comes to you as their s/o, these two are possessive as hell. You are theirs and that’s that on that! 😭 Don’t ask questions, just go with it.

Sorbet is the chill one of the duo. He can be a bit smug at times, but he’s mostly a laid back dude who doesn’t get bothered by much.

When it comes to you, Sorbet likes to spend quality time with you more than anything, and will ask you to cook for him at your place so he ain’t gotta spend money. Oh? Did I not mention that I kinda think of him as a cheapskate? Lmao cuz I do.

Sorbet will come by your place just to steal your coupons from the mail then head out; you’re not using ‘em so why should he let them go to waste?

Gelato is the complete opposite; personality wise, I headcanon him as a mix between Melone and Formaggio lmao

But it’s not as crazy as it sounds, he’s cute and outspoken like Melone, while maintaining a free-spirit like Formaggio. One quality that I like is that he’s quite devoted to you and Sorbet. If anyone crosses either of you, goodluck to them!

I like to think Gelato’s also just really boujee and high maintenance. He loves to pamper and be pampered. You and him tag-team Sorbet’s wallet and go on spa dates together at his expense (not that he ever really stood a chance)

While Sorbet is cool with just being in the same room as you, Gelato loves hugging/cuddling with you and Sorbet—will definitely fight for the middle spot between the two of you on the couch during movie nights.

He baby, so let him have it lol

In the bedroom, I would salute anyone with the guts to take the two of them on. They both lay down that work, period. 

Sorbet gets his kicks from teasing and edging you (his sadistic side comes out a bit), while Gelato loves when you give him extra TLC. To put it short, they know how to take care of you, so there are no issues there. 

Last but not least, Mr. Risotto Nero himself.

Man, idc on the lowest of keys, he seems a little bit like a grandpa to me

The type to sit at home and do crosswords, has a bird feeder in his yard and plays old Italian hits while washing the dishes. It’s very domestic 💀 (I find it cute, whatever!)

As a boyfriend, I can’t imagine him suddenly being spontaneous or outgoing unless you drag him out of his home/comfort zone.

Be patient with Mr. Nero, and he can come to surprise you

After a while, it won’t be just you dragging him out and about; one day he’ll ask you to come over and you’ll be greeted with a nice, traditional, homemade meal

Pay attention and you will notice him watching your face to see if you like his cooking 🥺

After seeing his fight with Doppio, I must admit that Risotto is very, very observant, almost scarily so.

I can totally picture him pointing out random things about his s/o that even they don’t know

One night, Risotto may come up to you and say “I talked to your neighbor about the dog, they’ll keep it inside now.” And you’re just staring like 😳 how did he know the barking was keeping you up at night????

He’s sweet, and will take good care of you as a boyfriend should.

Very good listener, won’t talk as much but will hang on to your every word, I promise. He could even recite it to you verbatim.

He’s a big dude, that ain’t news, so expect to be swallowed up in hugs and sometimes even picked up (as a tall girl myself, I simp!!!)

Gives A1 piggyback rides, lol

ALSO RISOTTO IS HUMBLE ASF!

Big dick energy, but on low volume 👏🏾 after all, he doesn’t need to do much talking, because a night with him is more than enough!

Listen babe, you better stretch, do some squats, and prep in whatever way you can before Mr. Nero gives you that work. 🤐

Lowkey a freak, but it’s well hidden behind his ‘quiet giant’ exterior

So, who are y'all dating? Personally, I’m going for Formaggio and Pesci hehe

[writing-for-me-at-this-point]

ii. Fun Facts About The Cast | Actor Au | Obey Me

Request: Its not, I love this AU tho

Word Count: 2303 words

Page Count: 6.5 pages

A.N. Hope you guys all like this! Fun facts about the cast lmao

[ Actor AU Masterlist ]

Fun Facts

Benjamin ( Lucifer )

- Is the dad of the cast.

- In any scenes with Dmitri ( Luke ), he makes sure to know if he is alright, and often will stop scenes to ask.

- He also is an overall joker, so he has trouble filming most of his scenes, will often start laughing in the middle of filming and can break character the easiest.

- Best with kids overall, probably due to having his own, keeps their lives private tho.

- His hair was white for a past show, but the directors liked the look, so that's why he has white tips.

- One of the few male characters who cannot do those diets to accentuate his abs- so that's why his character is always covered up.

- He's in shape! But, he likes the fat that protects his muscle, he says he needs to stay soft to hug his kids.

- Known diabetic, so there's a table full of foods so his sugars are stable, the cast has glucagon shots all over the sets to be safe.

- Is in his early thirties, but people say he can pull off early twenties- he just snorts at this.

Avery ( Mammon ) 

- Takes the job seriously, and his scenes are easiest to film.

- Dark humor and often is the "Lucifer" of the cast.

- Seeing him switch from Avery to Mammon leaves the rest of the cast and crew fucking s h o o k.

- Will always be seen looking his finest.

- No, no one has seen him in public in sweatpants or anything like that. His image is very serious.

- Is a sweetheart when with the rest of the cast tho.

- His eyes are actually that blue.

- No one is sure if his hair is actually white or not, the way he speaks about it is vague, and fans are always theorizing.

- Watching over Benji ( Lucifer ), and is usually the one to tell him to check his sugars, since the other is quite forgetful.

- Is an immigrant from Turkey, so he has an accent, makes people thirst for him more.

- Helps aspiring actors and directors get into the field, and goes on hard work and talent, not who tries to pay him off.

Jackson ( Leviathan )

- Is the resident fuckboi.

- Always with males and females hanging off him, at this point the pop gave up, no- they aren't his partner.

- Flexes a shit ton.

- Wearing chains, a Rolex, and anything designer.

- Donates half of his salary to ocean reserves and protection funds, he has the money for it, and the show pays him well.

- Always at the beach, or near lake houses and shit, the one ( 1 ) thing he likes about his character.

- Hates the fringe he wears with a passion.

- His hair is actually a light shade of brown, his eyes are a darker shade, but still pretty light.

- First generation, his parents are Korean, so you can pick up hints of their accent in his speech patterns. Gets heavy when he's sleepy. 

Ross ( Satan )

- Is a stoner.

- Goes on Instagram lives with either MC and gets high, talking about the dumbest shit or he's alone in his room and his cats join in.

- "So, if you think about- oH MY GOD PRINCESS. YES, COME TO DADDY."

- Has a kitten curled up on him, purrs loud as hell because mf is so warm, and the lives turn into purring ASMR sessions.

- Into self care, has a line of vitamins, face masks, and everything you can think of.

- Calls his fans his SaStans.

- Dmitri ( Luke ) is his younger brother.

- Will never let him out of his sight, and they love to be as mean as they can to each other, they love each other but love to bully one another.

- Is from the Bronx, so his accent is what Avery ( Mammon ) mimics for his character, often just records Avery's lines and sends them to him so he can practice.

- Owns an animal shelter he funds.

- "Carol Baskin? Who's that?"

- The REAL tiger king.

- Gets all his cats dyed to look like tigers.

Micheal ( Asmodeus )

- Chill as fuck.

- Has like 5+ kids, so the role fits him perfectly, and now it's an on running joke among fans that they are all his illegitimate children.

- You know why Asmodeus on the show wears so much makeup? 

- His eldest daughter is one of the makeup artists, and she loves to try new looks on him, and the producers think it would fit the character well.

- People speculate his age, looks young but is in his late 30's.

- His first child was born when he was 16, so he likes to support safe heavens and things like that for struggling youths- from being kicked out to needing assistance with mental health.

- Tired af.

- Always in sweatpants, him and Ross ( Satan ) are the trademark bums of the cast.

- Thinks it would be hilarious that when Micheal is revealed, in the show, that he plays the character.

- Is a writer as well, TSL is a real series and he writes it, so they let him use it in the show.

- Vlogs in his car, in a Wendy's parking lot, eating a shit ton of food and talking about the most random shit.

- Half asleep in all interviews, wearing a hoodie and sweatpants, it's gotten to the point where everyone memes it too.

James ( Beelzebub )

- Himbo.

- One of the few cast members closest to their character.

- Absolute sweetheart.

- He's 20 years old.

- But how is he so fucking big???

- Comes from a big ass family, the middle child, he's baby 4 out of 9.

- All his siblings are redheads too.

- Very playful tho, with the cast always going along with his antics, making for the best bloopers.

- The contacts he wears make him blind af, which doesn't help since he's so tall, and will bump his head on the doorways and such.

- Can speak Scottish-Gaelic, and even has an accent to top it off.

- He is an absolute unit, and one of the characters who does the stupid diet to show off his form.

- Literally on the verge of passing out sometimes, so he needs to rest with Benjamin ( Lucifer ).

- All pictures, shirtless scenes, and such are filmed first so he can rest after and go back to a normal diet.

- Quiet guy, but loves talking about sports and his siblings tho.

- Is always carrying MC and Dmitri ( Luke ) around, now there are many off-guard photos posted to the casts shared twitter+instagram accounts

- Still pretty new to acting, but is amazing at emotional scenes, to the point fans actually think he's having a breakdown.

- Nah, he's just thinking about being alone, without his family- and it gets him bawling for said scenes.

Conner ( Belphegor )

- Crackhead 

- Will not stay still, either for filming or just when everyone is chilling.

- Scenes where he's asleep? He's usually turned away from the camera, cause the idiot is smiling and giggling.

- Has tripped over his tail multiple times.

- Comes from a farm-life, literal cowboy, his southern accent just hits hard.

- He hides it very well, but it comes out at times or with certain words.

- Sees Benjamin ( Lucifer ) as a mentor, he's in his early twenties and new to the scene, but they are best friends.

- Benjamin ( Lucifer ) has now acquired a new child.

- A living meme.

- You know how Tom Holland can't keep a secret?

- Yeah, he's worse.

- Rest of the cast have all had to physically stop him from talking at one point.

- The cow pillow? It's actually his, when he got the role his father has sewn it himself, so he will bring it with him.

- It's basically free promo for the show and comforts him in the city space.

- Gets overwhelmed in large crowds, so he usually makes sure to have another cast member close by, or he will literally leave to a less crowded place to take a breath.

- Apologized to MC after the scene in which he kills them.

- His mama raised him right, so he takes MC to his house for a movie, in which they cuddle and relax for the night.

- Felt really bad for like... a whole week.

- "Country boy I love you~"

Thomas ( Barbatos )

- Brat.

- This is one cocky man, he's smooth as hell, and one whisper can make you weak in the knees.

- Grew out the one side of his hair, but he slicks his hair back or will pin it back, dyes it himself when it's time to film.

- Loves to piss Alex ( Simeon ) off.

- Has a true crime podcast with Roman ( Diavolo ), Alex ( Simeon ), and Benjamin ( Lucifer ), because they're all old friends.

- Donates to the cold case foundation because he knows what it's like to lose someone and not know what happened to them.

- He has a twin who is his stunt double, they love to fuck with the rest of the cast, both of them are little shits.

- Is the motherfucker who makes a channel and reads the crackhead fanfics

- Loves every word of it tho.

- Responds to every fans dms. Every. One. As a whole account for this shit.

- Walks with a bit of a limp, so he wears a brace to help even himself, but during wide-shot scenes you can catch it sometimes.

- Took actual classes to be a butler for the role.

Roman ( Diavolo )

- Himbo 2.0

- Catch this man tweeting what he's trying to search up at 2 in the morning.

- Leaves them because it's hilarious, makes videos where he reads them out sometimes, it's all in good fun.

- He has a set of triplets at home, so that dad energy radiates into the show too.

- You know how Diavolo seems sus at points of the game? Yeah, he's still like that IRL.

- The rest of the cast was put off at first, but that's how he is, and everyone eased up pretty quickly.

- Makes jokes that he has family in the Italian mob, but needed to stop once his father called him, saying that there were too many eyes on the family now.

- Man was s h o o k.

- Has sensitive skin, so all his makeup and body paints need to be specially made, made with all natural products.

- The bags under his eyes are baby bags.

- Will bring his kids on set, to which everyone will gush over, and watch them when they aren't filming.

- Very private with his kids ( to the public ), doesn't post about them much, and only the cast really sees them.

- Wine dad.

- Catch him bringing the whole cast out for "family trips"

- People nicknamed him Caesar

- So many JoJo references now

- "SHHHHIIIIIZZZAAAAAAAA"

- "Please, no."

Dmitri ( Luke )

- Is actually 12.

- Quotes vines, tiktoks, and other memes.

- Is one of the few people that Alex ( Simeon ) is openly nice too.

- Also has an accent, but since he's young and is learning, can now mimic every other cast member's accent.

- Wear earplugs for certain scenes, because of how raunchy and dark the scenes can get, so Simeon and Barbatos are always conveniently in the way, hiding the plugs.

- Is Ross' ( Satan ) younger brother, and if he isn't hanging off of him he's with James ( Beelzebub ), Benjamin ( Lucifer ), or MC.

- They know there are some sick fucks in Hollywood so he has an adult with him at all times.

- Posts pictures of him cuddling up to his brother and the kittens, new foods he is trying, and some pictures with family.

- He often is considered the new Gordon Ramsay.

- Had a collaboration with him.

- It was amazing.

- Best boy, catch him taking a nap in his ( and Ross' ) trailer, surrounded by tiger kittens.

- The TIGER PRINCE.

Alex ( Simeon )

- Avatar of wrath who?

- The embodiment of "No talk me, I angy"

- Jkjk, though he does have a temper, he only loses it with Benjamin ( Lucifer ), Roman ( Diavolo ), and Thomas ( Barbatos ).

- A sweetheart with all children though, like you know Simeon on the show? 

- Yeah, he's only like that with kids.

- And respectable adults.

- Mama raised him well 2.0

- Grew up in NY

- Born in Gucci and Balenciaga.

- Was a child model and slowly expanded to acting.

- Dark humor galore.

- If Simeon met Alex, he'd probably have a stroke, cause THOSE WORDS are coming out of HIS mouth.

- Says the weirdest shit too.

- "Put your hand on my ass and call me a virgin."

- Bro are you okay???

- He is fluent in five languages and has a high IQ.

- Speaks: English, French, Italian, Arabic, and Mandarin

- Has a support system for children who struggle to learn conventionally, with trained tutors who are affordable, he knows what it's like to need certain needs met to learn, and he wants every kid to get that chance.

- Rough around the edges but has a heart of gold.

Derek ( Solomon )

- Loves to smoke with Ross ( Satan )

- He is more aloof than chill.

- One of the more awkward members, doesn't know how to socialize well, and is very shy.

- Watch out for Dmitri ( Luke ) on the down low.

- Didn't have the best life growing up, so he is a lot more street smart than book smart.

- Doesn't have a big social media influence.

- Very nice to fans, gives full hugs to them, and everyone feels so appreciated.

- Has a husky named Blue.

- Also has an owl, who he took in when he found it on his porch with a broken wing, and nursed it to health.

- He set it free, but she comes back often, and has a nest in the tree closest to his house.

- Named her Lovely.

- Animal person, so he helps Ross out with his animal shelters.

- Uses Blue as a living pillow, and only sleeps in his boxers when Blue is on his bed, because goddamn does that dog radiate heat.

- Him and MC live together, having grown up together, and made their livings together. 

[yanderememes]

Update on Asks

July 17th, 2021.

Hi darlings! I just wanted to let you all know I’ve updated my rules regarding asks. From now on, please don’t send in asks requesting for hcs or memes for a specific darling. For example, “could I request a meme for a darling with anxiety?” or “how about hcs for an ESTJ darling with yan!Trish?” I want to be as inclusive as possible on this blog and having specific character traits in a darling just isn’t something the majority can relate to. I know a lot of you identify as either INFP, INTP, or ENFP but I don’t think its fair to the other viewers who don’t know their type or identify as another type to have to see an abundance of hcs or memes they don’t relate to. Meme culture surrounds the ideas of relatability for the majority. I think its best to keep “darling” neutral so everyone can have a chance to relate to them and have fun with their yandere Jojo characters!

I’m not trying to invalidate anyone’s experiences if you do suffer from mental health problems or something similar. My answer has always been the same, YOUR YANDERE WILL LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT. Remember! A “yandere” is an unhealthy obsession with someone. Having PTSD, Tourettes, etc., isn’t any reason for your yandere to stop loving you or treat you any differently. In all seriousness, irl too, your partner shouldn’t treat you any less of a human for having these conditions.

I’ll answer whatever is left in my inbox regarding the specific darling requests but afterwards, no more please. I’ll still accept relationship analysis asks (an explanation of how two types would get along)! So things like “I’m an ESFP and I love Keicho! Would we get along?” are totally fine!

Thank you for all the support and understanding, I love and appreciate all of you! ❤️🥰

[bastardtetsu]

haikyuu + musical theatre boys pt2

>> PART 1 <<

nobody asked for it but here it is: more MT boy brainrot from your resident theatre school veteran :) | starring: hinata, tanaka, noya, yaku, terushima

tw swearing & more musical theatre bs

HINATA [tenor] such a star omfg his energy & expressiveness!!! not quite a dancer dancer but a VERY strong mover who picks up choreo & technique super fast! also REALLY good at tap, omfg, he just gets it in his body lightning fast. his singing & acting could use work, but like i said he’s a fast learner and his high energy & readiness to commit serves him so well! his main downfall in casting is that he is baby, and gets typed out a lot bc of his height and lack of experience. but we all know hinata doesn’t know the meaning of “give up,” which is a requirement of survival for MTs (!!) so he does just fine

jojo in seussical, tobias in sweeney todd, michael in billy elliot (would be an amazing billy too if he had better technique), literally any newsie

TANAKA [baritenor] king of rap, character acting, & dancing - mainly hiphop/breakdancing & tumbling, please do not ask him to do ballet. singing isn’t his top export and he’s kinda insecure about it, but you’d be surprised at how much this man can turn the house with the vocals okay?? he’s such a fuckin’ character irl though, the energy he brings to the stage is best described as delightfully feral. and BOY can he move, flip, spin, everything, he is the king of tricks (you know he’s always showing off - insists on ripping his shirt off every time too)

mulligan/madison in hamilton, benny in in the heights, tunny in american idiot, grandmaster chad in legally blonde, a wickersham in seussical, gangster in drowsy chaperone (specifically with noya can u IMAGINE), literally anything where they need a shirtless man to do backflips

NOYA [tenor] another rap king but he will also give u that smooth r&b tenor sound~ trina as fuck when it comes to literally any style of dance - tap, ballet, partnering, you name it - plus any tricks & tumbling u can think of. it’s because he played billy elliot as a child and got mad training super young. he specializes in tumbling, but also has always been very good at turns. we’re talking fouettés until YOU get dizzy watching him and beg him to stop. height requirements are a bitch to him sometimes casting-wise, but he still books bc his credits & abilities speak for themselves

sonny in in the heights, pepper in mama mia, literally billy elliot, literally any newsie, a wickersham in seussical, gangster in drowsy chaperone (specifically with tanaka)

YAKU [tenor] TAP GOD. generally trina as fuck, especially with jazz & ballet too. also was a billy elliot as a child so he got that training (remember when he literally grand jetéd over that barricade to receive the ball in the ova?? yea this is canon for me) pretty much always books dancer tracks bc he is That Bitch, but that will not stop him from delivering powerful vocals and bold character choices when you need him to. this boy is a TRIPLE THREAT and do not ever forget it. he makes an amazing swing too, dance ensemble tracks are his bread & butter so you need him to learn 4 of them for one show? cool, he’s ready to go. i would also like to reiterate once again that he is a TAP. GOD. this is very important to me. also do not bring up auditions with height minimums to him

cosmo in singin in the rain, chip in on the town, mike in a chorus line, any newsie, basically any dance ensemble track or smol dancer man type characters

TERUSHIMA [pop/rock tenor] i h8 this mother fucker (no i don’t who am i kidding) but he would book like crazy. only in the more contemporary stuff though since he committed to the edgy vibe with the tongue piercing/bleached hair/his personality lmao. his acting is so-so, but he has the charisma & stage presence to give a solid performance, and his dancing is suprisingly good - i’d classify him as a strong mover. HIS VOCALS are sick though, loves to show off that high rock belt as much as he can (it’d be more obnoxious if he didn’t sound so damn good). also plays guitar and brings it to every audition no matter what it is, just to flex. he’s not even THAT good, but he can play cowboy chords and certain songs if he practices. he’s also the resident horny boy of every cast he’s in, obviously. it does get messy and occasionally weird, like when he hooked up with the girl playing his character’s mom on opening night & had to deal with the awkward oedipal energy for the entire run of the show

johnny in american idiot, gabe in next to normal, dolokhov in great comet (he could play anatole but he doesn’t quite have that C#5 :/), basically any role where he gets to be a glorified rockstar

[weaselbeaselpants]

Yeah I kind of wish people didn't portray this old bit of drama as one sided as they often do. Either it's "Viv did nothing wrong actually and did pay, Dollcreep blew it all out of proportion and is a creep" or "Viv literally stole everything from Dollcreep and got nothing and she continues to still bad mouth him to this day". Like this has been an ongoing back and forth so long I saw ppl bringing it up when ZP first got brought to the attention of the badwebcomicswiki forums.

From what I remember, as an "old" Viv fan who peaced out from watching her before Die Young but kept tabs on her fandom once I saw there was smoke in the distance, this is what I can personally point too:

>From wever they met - 2011/2013ish Doll and Viv were besties. They collabed all the time and more distinctly Doll's characters (Gunther, Addison's boyfriend and Afkinz, Tom's partner specifically) would appear as permanent residents of the ZP universe at that time.

>Viv and Doll met up irl in 2012/2013. I have no clue what happened between them and honestly it's none of my business but either before or during that trip they began their skism.

>By 2014 Viv had bought some of Doll's characters for her to officially own and sell as her own, Jiji->Jayjay, Gunther->Gustave, and Afkinz->Mackenzie, in the world of ZP. I think by then she was committed to the Die Young video and beginning work on it.

>Unbeknownst to me (I only found out after the fact thru drama blogs), Viv started to not credit Doll as being the designer of Jayjay in posts and I think maybe also told him to his face that she wouldn't credit him in the video when it came out. Doll got MAD. He shot back, then Viv shot back, their mutual friends on the sidelines are all kind of in the line of fire, and of course Viv and Doll's stans are at war over this.

>Die Young comes out and Doll and Viv apparently settle their differences. Apparently, except-

>For whatever reason as I guess and april fools day joke Viv makes a character named Jojo (Dollcreep's deadname) that's explicitly a mean take-that at Doll but is a girl and I guess lampooning the drama with Jojo's character sheet.

>Doll fires back with a character sheet of Viv that's even more direct on her, though he also takes shots at Kendraw, who was Viv's friend and facing accusations of grooming at the time, with a comment "is friends with a pedo" on his sheet of her.

the rest is silence. I mean, as far as I know.

Independent of Viv's skisms, I kind of view this situation as being a big problem with adoptable culture. Unlike accusations of Viv not paying her animators, managing her time on her shows and her treatment of former employees -this feels far more like a private issue between friends that got ugly cuz it got public.

At most you could make the argument that it's proof of the "don't hire your friends"-mantra for the indie scene, but idk.

Just putting this out there: dollcreep has a set of OCs who are canonically an incest couple. A mad scientist and his son of whom he does human experiments on.

And peices depicting this dynamic have been delibratley framed as desirable/"uwu soft".

Viv had made a callot on Dollcreep in responce to having been harassed by them over the entire sparkledog Jiji drama. It didn't biging and end with "I want more credit", dollcreep actually tried to extort/blackmail money from her to my memory back when that debacle was happening in real time.

If this is all true, then certain people need to stop defending him.. If you could send in some screenshots of that or the callout made by Viv, that would be helpful! /gen

[costellos]

update!—

     hi, friends! long time no see. I’m so sorry about the disappearance! I’ve been busy at work. I just wanted to let you know that 1.) I’m not dead and 2.) I’m hoping to get back on track this weekend. 

     in the meantime, I’m just gonna come out and say that I’m working for a certain video sharing app that our lovely president tried to ban ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ my job is to create educational content for people stuck in quarantine. I’ve been focusing on making videos about plants, scientific inaccuracies in pop culture, and flower symbolism in anime. if you enjoy this blog and you’d like to support me (or if you’d just like to see what I’ve been up to all week), you can check that out here! I juuuust posted something about JoJo as a warm welcome for u (also- don’t be confused about my name; “Tori” is another shorthand I use for my irl name :^) it’s still me, I promise).

     life has been crazy but I really appreciate your patience! thank you for sticking around, friends. 

tl;dr I'm partnering with TikTok to make educational videos. it’s been eating away at a lot of my time but I’m getting the hang of it now.

[yakumtsaki]

Alright you guys, sorry for the delay, I’ve had to restart this post 20 fucking times because my changes weren’t being saved in the draft and then I kept getting the ‘upload failed’ error. In case you don’t remember wtf is going on you might wanna re-read the last update (I certainly had to) which is apparently from JUNE 2018. Jfc I suck so hard. Now this was gonna be really long but tumblr wouldn’t post it so I’m breaking it up in 3 parts, part 2 to be posted tomorrow. For those that don’t feel like reading back, general recap of the last couple updates:

Jojo cheated on Wyatt with Max Flexor and my solution to that marital crisis was to adopt our first dog ever, a puppy hilariously named Maxx.

The puppy grew up to be an asshole and is constantly beating up the cats, who have turned into giant pussies (no pun intended) and are losing every fight to him despite the fact they’re named after Mortal Kombat characters. They’re a fucking disgrace to Alegra’s/Victor’s/Ronroneo’s memory and I haven’t settled on a cat heir yet because they both suck.

Jojo is perma miserable, I don’t even remember how much money away from his 100k LTW, and still not a werewolf despite my pathologically persistent attempts to make him friends with the wolf.

Fucking useless Wyatt didn’t get promoted while Komei was alive providing us with his 100 townie friends, we spent 20 updates befriending every rando that crossed our lot to secure his promotion, and then finally on the day he was supposed to become Captain Hero, Wyatt got, of course, fired and is now on track to take longer to complete his literal career based LTW than Komei took to get 6 pets on the top of their careers.

Absolutely everyone hates noogie addict Shajar, she got a Kylo Ren makeover, and we still don’t know what her sexual orientation is thanks to her ridiculous fitness/fatness turn ons and cleanliness turn off.

Golden child/10 nice points freakshow Cyneswith grew up, rolled romance with the most disturbing turn-ons/offs possible (grey hair/mechanical & charisma turn off) and the 20 simultaneous lovers LTW.

Wulf grew up into a kid, got an Amadeus makeover, is officially a Wyatt clone and the only member of this family I don’t completely hate yet.

Now I’d like to begin the first Union post in more than a year by requesting you do me a solid and lower your expectations for this thing as far down as humanly possible. Like really try to recreate the Jules Verne classic “Journey to the Center of the Earth” with your expectations here, because my brain is so fucking fried that there’s a 20% chance I randomly start citing sources at some point during this post. This grad school crap has seriously been the worst trade deal in the history of trade deals, maybe ever. And speaking of bad trade deals, let’s get this update rolling with the man, the myth, the legend, the husband who managed to make Komei look like a dreamboat in comparison..

..Wyatt fucking Union, née Monif. It’s been a long time, but I’m not gonna lie to you Wyatt, not nearly long enough. Looking good man, just one small question, where the fuck are your eyebrows?

-You àccidéntally deléted thém, imbécilé, et I cannôt exprèss my irritatiόn prόperly becausé I hàve non eyebrôws!

Did your selective French accent get thicker this past year or is it just me?

-It géts thickér whén je suis distrésséd, givé moi mon eyebrôws bàcc!!!

No can do, brother. Actually can do, but I think the Mona Lisa look is working for you, and more importantly I still hate you, so I’m just gonna hardcore ignore you for the rest of this post if that’s ok. Talk to me when you finally get promoted, aka never the way this shit is going.

-Non! NON! MON EYEBROWS!

It’s been lovely catching up.

Jojό I mean Jojo, goddammit Wyatt, is spending most of his time building robots in the mausoleum (sweet hipster band name alert)..

..giving financial advice in Shajar’s room (inb4 what’s the difference between the mausoleum and Shajar’s room)..

..building evil snowmen alone in the middle of the night, like all mentally healthy middle aged men with 3 kids are wont to do..

..and getting the piss harassed out of him by the cat ghosts in the bathroom (sweet hipster band name alert #2). How is this like the fourth time this happens in the exact same spot, will you just stop autonomously cleaning the bathroom after midnight? It’s obviously where the cats hang out, give it the fuck up already.

-I’m actively TRYING TO DIE you absolute moron, what does a guy have to do to get killed around here?

Yea can’t say that I blame you but not happening, you can commit suicide by Ghost Alegra after the kids fuck off to college, ok? I promise.

-Oh like you promised me being heir was a route worth pursuing??

Um obviously you too need to go back and re-read your own life story, because I spent the entirety of our “““cherished””” time together telling you heirship is a shitty gig at generation 2. And then to top it off you went and married Wyatt to ensure maximum shittiness, so there you go, fucking enjoy. God I am so sick of both of you losers and we’re only 5 pics in. Let’s check in with your spawn, I’m sure they can’t possibly be more annoying than their parents-

-oh right, I forgot, this is the generation with 10/10/9 active points where the party never stops. Cyneswith are you somehow twerking to classical music?

-How else am I gonna attract all those hot senior citizens per my grey hair turn on and 20 lovers LTW?

Ok great yea I see how this is gonna go, you’re trying to entice people into voting you for heir based on how torturous playing this fucked up LTW is gonna be for me, well forget it, my readers are intellectuals and completely above such petty entertainment. (istg mofos, don’t even think about it, i already did Komei’s 5 pets career shit, i will burn this place to the ground if you saddle me with Cyneswith banging the elderly for 30 years)

-No need to worry your stupid little head, I will beat Cyneswith for HEIR just like I beat her HAIR up daily! HAHA!

Shajar no offense but you’re a fucking war crime of a sim, nearly everyone who’s ever met you hates you including your parents, and the fact that you’re the alternative here is really not helping my situation in any way. Also how the fuck are you gonna be heir when the only thing you seem to be attracted to is giving noogies, you’re like one week away from college and I still don’t even know if you’re str8 or gay or bi or w/e the fuck you are. You have Jojo’s personality combined with..

..yes exactly, DANIEL’S SOCIAL ABILITIES. I mean I was joking with the whole ‘Shajar’s the spawn of Satan’ thing, but this combo of traits was clearly drawn up in Hell’s boardroom.

ANYWAY. It’s a snowy Sunday morning, and anyone who has been a teen knows what that means:

Time to go clubbing! Man I remember being like 15, waking up on a freezing Sunday morning and my mom making me a cup of hot chocolate before I drove off to the club. Those were the days.

-Uh, Shaj, when did you learn how to drive?

-Don’t be stupid, Cyneswith, people don’t need to ‘learn’ how to drive.

-They absolutely do, actually.

-Well what can I tell you, the dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.

-Here we are, safe and sound! Celebratory noogie!

-YOU RAN OVER 9 PEOPLE

-How many times to I have to explain this to you, Apartment Life townies are not people.

Can’t argue with that logic. Let’s just go in and find out what Shajar’s sexual orientation is once and for all so I can spend the rest of this update aggressively promoting Wulf’s candidacy.

Now I consider ‘a picture is worth a thousand words’ one of the dumbest sayings there is, but even I have to concede that this particular picture truly is worth a thousand words. Quick poll, what is more horrifying, Shajar’s literal Joker face or Cyneswith, whom I’ve never seen read a book ever, autonomously pulling one out in the middle of the dance floor, in what I can only assume is an attempt to attract old perverts with the schoolgirl routine?

And I know what some of you are thinking, you’re like ‘bro, you’re just reaching to make a bad joke bro, Cyneswith is just a sweet nice introvert and not like other girls, she doesn’t feel comfortable in the club’, well to that let me reply with another picture that is worth a thousand words:

Yea that’s right, on the first minute of our first time out WE RUN INTO THAT ONE ELDER TOWNIE THAT HAS WRINKLE MAKE UP ON. GODDAMMIT CYNESWITH

Do you guys remember how Jojo was obsessed with Stephen Tinker as a teen? Are you seeing the connection here?? Those kids have literally inherited the worst possible traits from both their parents turned up to 11, it’s fucking unreal.  

Right after I get over Wrinkle’s presence I turn around and what do I see, those 2, who have never had a non-noogie physical interaction, autonomously doing the family kiss thing. I didn’t even catch it on time because I was loling irl, we came out here so these assholes can find age-appropriate partners, and instead they’re kissing each other. Seems about right with this family, and clearly Striped Scarf’s dumb ass ships it.

-They look so much alike, it’s meant to be!

Yes, and they even share the same last name! Talk about written in the stars.

Thankfully Abhijeet is here to save us from incest by perving on Cyneswith. GTFO ABHIJEET. Anyone like ‘bro townies just autonomously come to greet your sims on community lots regardless of age, stop calling them perverts’, see you in about 5 pics down.  

I try to have Shajar chat up Striped Scarf and suffice it to say Shaj ~stole her heart~ and presumably put it on this stick to wave around.

NO. CYNESWITH NO. I’m seriously having déjà vu of all the times I was like ‘NO. JOJO NO’, jfc.

Shajar is unsurprisingly exhibiting no interest in socializing with anyone around her, instead she’s trying every activity this terribly lit place has to offer, and she looks demented while doing it:

I’m feeling a primal urge to photoshop Darth Vader’s melted helmet on the bowling ball here, someone please remind me to do it for the heir vote photoshoot.

-HA. SUCK IT DENISE JACQUET

That’s Denise Jacquet?! I can’t tell who anyone is for shit anymore. The default replacements are a scourge upon premade brands, I’m getting rid of them pronto. Speaking of scourges, where the hell is your sister?

-Who cares?

I wanna say ‘me’ but we both know that’s a lie.

Oh ok, THERE SHE IS.

-So you see Cyneswith, just because something is technically ‘illegal’, doesn’t mean it’s morally wrong-

Yea yea fascinating stuff, now get out of the hot tub or I will fucking neuter you, I don’t know if a eunuch mod already exists for medieval games but I will make one if it doesn’t.

Here, Cyneswith, drink some water, have a nice G-rated convo with your sister about violins and stop pissing me off. 

-First of all this is straight vodka.

Great.

-Secondly Shajar is talking about Mozart’s coprophilia.

-I sure am.

Amazing. Well, I guess it’s at times like these when you need to look inside your heart and truly ask yourself, what did you expect from Jojo’s children.

ABHIJEET ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME DID YOU EVEN HEAR ME TALK ABOUT CASTRATION

-Ha, I went home and put on my most elderly-looking formal wear!

-I hate to see you go but I love to watch you leave Ab <3

CYNESWITH SHUT UP. I can’t believe you people are actually making me miss Gunther’s teenage whoring, at least he kept it age appropriate.

-Is some random lady pressing her breasts against my head?

She most certainly is, Shajar, because it is now crystal clear that this bowling alley doubles as the site of annual perv townie convention and we walked right into it-

-and it’s also clear we have serious issues and are enjoying ourselves. Shaj I legit don’t know what to tell you, this is the first time you get along with someone right away and it just had to be the adult with the bad haircut and the flasher’s trench coat???

-You’re damn right it did.

Alright then, I’m officially going to nope out of this situation, safe in the knowledge you’re a noogiesexual and nothing will actually happen with this freak, so I’ll focus on Cyneswith instead who is much more of a loose canon. 

Here Cyn, talk to this guy, who I’m 90% sure is the same guy your father rejected in favor of stalking Stephen Tinker when he was your age.

-Ohhhh, he’s dreamy!

Omg really?? Halleluj-

-oh never mind, you were of course referring to adult ass Brandon Lillard. I do like that our townies have recurring roles each generation, we should make rejecting Blondie a rite of passage in this family. We should also officially gtfo because this is happening:

-Um, now that I’m looking at you in harsher lighting, it’s gonna be a no from me dawg. 

Oh, thank the fucking lord.

-Let’s celebrate the fact we didn’t get hopelessly obsessed with any adults here by doing the traditional Dance of Normality!

-We beat Dad’s genes, we beat Dad’s genes!

-We’re normal!

Yes, and we’re definitely showing it. Can we please leave now so I can make sure I’ve uninstalled Inteenminator and turn off free will? 

-Nop! Venue change!

-Got-out-of-the-car celebratory noogie!

-Made-it-to-the-door celebratory noogie!

Shajar you unironically have a noogie addiction, I’m not kidding in the slightest, you need to see a doctor.

Great, great, not another teen in sight and to top it off Denise followed us here to ensure maximum elder presence. I feel comfortable officially declaring this day a complete waste of time.

God, the vintage pink dress and the pink alcohol combo is some straight up current era Taylor Swift nonsense. That’s it, we’re outta here, back home where no one is lurking, waiting to strike at us-

-SOPHIE NOOOOOOOOOOOO💔💔💔💔💔

-The Lord is my shepherd.

NO HE ISN’T EVERYONE KNOWS YOU CAN’T HERD CATS PLEASE DON’T DIE

-Nop, I’m over it. Goodbye heathens, it’s been nice, hope you don’t find your paradise. 

UGH SOPHIE, my beloved Westboro lunatic, the last gangsta generation 1 cat we had.. I can’t believe you’re gone and all I’m left with is stupid Goro and D’vorah who can’t even beat up the fucking dog. This is truly painful.

Yes, pets, I agree, Kaylynn is completely to blame for Sophie dying of old age. The time has now come to decide on a cat heir-

-and since Goro ran away like a little bitch after Sophie’s death despite the fact he didn’t even like her, he’s automatically disqualified and will be going off to live on Melody and Daniel’s farm once returned to us. Congratulations to D’vorah I guess, on being the least terrible of two terrible options. 

On the topic of terrible heir options, Cyn has non-stop wants to go on dates and have her first kiss and all that crap, and since our Sunday morning clubbing was a bust we invite over the matchmaker.

-Hello there young Union, I see your house has been upgraded since I was last here.

Oh right we haven’t required your services since Daniel was a teen and we lived in a trailer, well we are flush with cash now!

-Hopefully your payment reflects that.

It will!! Just please give us someone good, I can’t deal with single teen Cyn for one more second.

-Oh my, what a beautiful BLANK PIECE OF PAPER.

WHAT!? NO THAT’S 5K IT’S JUST A SNOW GLITCH 

-What do I look like to you, a money thawing service?

Does such a service.. exist??

-It does not, so I have to go home and use a hairdryer on this!

Just come inside and we’ll give you non-frozen money!

-No, no, you’ll get what you paid for..

-Have a magical time!

...

.........

......................

Lakshmi this was so fucking evil that I almost want to age you down and see if you and Shajar hit it off. 

-As if, the whole neighborhood knows what you did to Komei.

Helped him achieve his insane 6-pets-career LTW?

-Turned him into a servant while your sim was lounging around all day!

Oh yea I did do that. But Wyatt was also a townie and he does literally nothing, Jojo is the servant now!

-Only because Wyatt is too fucking stupid to do things! Word has gotten out, no townie will ever marry in this family again unless they’re brain dead, so it’s Wyatts only for you from now on, sister!

Well this has been a complete fucking disaster. It was great seeing you again, Lakshmi, thanks for the dream date with the adult farting machine, 5k well-spent.

Pretty sure it was you bro, and yes, how about we don’t do that again.

Wyatt has brought over Amanda from work! (Aka Victoria’s only friend and subsequent lesbian lover, who is really pretty and is definitely getting married in at some point, preferably after the brown hair genes have been weakened so we can go back to being gingers.)  

-Wow Shajar, your grandmother, God rest her soul, mentioned you were her favorite and now I can see why! Loving the Kylo Ren look!

-Is someone being genuinely nice to me?! What is happening?

-Yes, please stop being nice to her, Amanda, we don’t want her getting used to it.

Jojo istg.

-Cyneswith dear, tell Amanda all about how much money your grandmother left you so she can stop being nice to Shajar. 

-Soooo much money, Miss Amanda!

-Ah, what a polite child I’ve single-handedly raised.

-Now, Cyneswith, you really need to get back on the dating scene so you have ample time to find the perfect spouse and continue our line, since you’re clearly the only one of my children that is remotely heir material. 

-Dad, Shajar and Wulf are right next to you.

-Oh they are? I’m wearing my special contact lenses that make those disappointments invisible to me, but even better, they need to hear this. Shajar is a noogiesexual and thus incapable of reproduction, and Wulf is not even a Union, I mean have you seen that kid? Wyatt reproduced by himself like the amoeba he is. Now, your grandmother-

-YOU MENTIONED ME 3 TIMES AND HERE I AM

OH FUCK VICTORIA, deleting the default replacements gave you base game hair!!!!

-That’s the part you’re scared by, not my Beetlejuicesque entrance?

There’s literally nothing scarier than your ghost sporting this haircut for all eternity, I’m re-downloading that default immediately. 

-Oh mom, so good to see you! Let me just hug my beloved child, Shijer-

-Shajar, dad.

-SHAJAR, let me hug Shajar, like I do all the time. 

-I’m glad to see you’re not picking favorites among your children like I did, the way I treated David-

-Daniel, mom.

-DANIEL, is the one thing I’ve truly been regretting in the afterlife. That and not skinning Marisa Bendett alive when I had the chance. 

-Well, as you can see by Shajar’s totally normal and not at all shocked reaction to my hug, I am a wonderful, fair, and emotionally available father. 

(Bruh this freaked me out so much when it happened, I mean I KNOW it’s an animation glitch but I was convinced my sims had become sentient for a good while after)

-Is your grandmother’s ghost still on the premises?

-Yup. 

-When will this nightmare end, paying attention to you is the worst. 

-Ok she’s gone.

-FINALLY. Now it’s back to the crypt for you, and don’t you dare go complain to her urn!

-Ah, Stephen, Stephen, my life is crap and I can’t even🎵

And with the knowledge you have composed a theme song for Stephen Tinker, part 1 of the Union comeback update is concluded. Will Shajar’s sexual orientation reveal itself? Will Cyneswith find true love? Will Jojo become a werewolf? Will Wulf continue to be the only dignified member of this family? Will D’vorah have kittens? Will Wyatt do literally anything worth mentioning? Tune in for parts 2 & 3 to find out, unfollow button on the upper right corner for those who need it. 

[recentanimenews]

FEATURE: 6 Of The Best Dogs In Anime

  April 11 is National Pet Day! Recently, a tiny little angel from heaven entered my life. The baby angel is a french bulldog named Titan. 

  No relation to the Titans in Attack on Titan. 

  My beloved doggo had me thinking about some of my favorite dogs from anime. I’m sharing six of the best anime doggos in honor of National Pet Day.

  Inuyasha From Inuyasha

Inuyasha is not technically a dog, but he is a dog demon. Still, Inuyasha is one of the best. He’s fiercely loyal (even to his undead ex-girlfriend), reliable, agile, and has a great sense of smell. He’s also pretty cute. On the occasion, he finds himself not behaving can easily be rectified by saying, SIT, BOY!

Pipe From Deca-dence

Image via Funimation

You’re saying, “Yali, Pipe is not a dog.” You would be correct, but you would also be wrong. Pipe comes from the underrated series, Deca-Dence. In this world, he is a gadoll, and they are the dogs of this universe. As you can see, Pipe is as cute as a button! He is incredibly friendly and loves head pats and belly rubs. He wiggles and bounces whenever he’s excited. Unlike other dogs, he can shoot puffs of steam from the top of his head. He is not only a source of comfort to Natsume but an excellent partner! All these elements combined just scream “good doggo” to me. 

  Pakkun From Naruto

You can’t have a best anime doggo list without Pakkun. Many of you will argue that Akamaru should be on the list, and perhaps you are right. However, Pakkun does not receive the same love and respect Akamura does, and I’m here to change that. Pakkun is the smallest of the Ninken, but don’t let that fool you. Pakkun possesses excellent leadership and communication skills. His sense of smell is next level. He can determine how far the person/item is from a single scent and how dangerous it is. The mini pug can even pick up scents that are masked. The little guy has super speed and can even make shadow clones of himself. Pakkun is an impressive dog and a good boy!

Ein From Cowboy Bebop  

Of course, Ein makes the list for the best anime doggo! Who doesn’t love the corgi’s sweet but lazy personality? Ein is a data dog with the ability to connect to computers and other technology. Ein enjoys lounging around with Ed and eating treats. However, this fuzzball is skilled at driving, answering phone calls, changing the channel on the TV, and giving Jett a run for his money in Shogi. Though he is so cute we would probably just let him win. 

Iggy From Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure  

First things, first, he’s the realest. No, seriously, Iggy is the real deal when being a good dog. Yes, he can be a bit antisocial, rude, and generally enjoys chaos, but don’t let that fool you! Under all that bravado is a strong warrior, a loyal ally, a killer sense of smell, and a heart of gold. Even when a battle has nothing to do with him, he will still help his friends. Iggy has even gone as far as to sacrifice himself for Polnareff. Iggy is genuinely a good doggo…he did make it to heaven after all. 

  Sadaharu From Gintama  

  Imagine being so adorable and fluffy people don't even realize you used to be a God. That's the life of the biggest boy, Sadaharu from Gintama. Sadaharu used to be the protector of Priestess Sisters, Ane, and Mone, but taking care of such a big ole dog got too expensive. How does Emily Elizabeth afford Clifford? Sadaharu ends up with the Yorozuya and there he became an invaluable member of the team. Also we stan a dog who enjoys a good disguise. Scooby-Doo, who? Now if we can work on his head-biting issue he would be perfect.  

No matter what kind of pet you have, we think they are all the best! Now it's your turn! Share your favorite anime pets or your own IRL pets. We hope you and your furry friends have a Happy National Pet Day — and don't forget to give them extra treats, they earned it. 

By: Yali Perez

[antiquexbeast]

once upon some basics

in response to ( this thing ) that i’m being yelled at about ( ???? )

because despite how obviously parody the video is, i’m sitting here realizing that i gotta explain why this isn’t “offensive” and “problematic” and is honestly more poking fun at weho stereotypes that, tbh, anyone who lives there has seen first hand.

for reference, i’m about three decades old, i’ve been too gay and ho to exist for most of my life, and weho has been where most of my existence has been when i’m not looking for bones and wearing as much lace and black as humanly physically possible in SoCal. all of the places in this video are places i frequently visit and party at.

lemme break this down:

lez be honest ( belle ):

-- is probably a closet gay -- might not even realize they’re gay -- legit doesn’t give a shit and just is out here to have fun and chillin -- trying their best an doin p well -- accidentally offensive  -- kinda weird, is probably a nerd and into weird things, but you know she’s solid af -- you expected her to be a garbage ally, but is actually the coolest person you’ve ever met. -- is aggressively active about human rights and will either march with you or march for you -- is straight up oblivious ngl but she not a nancy so that’s gucci -- you crushed on her at least once because she’s good and got good hair don’t fuccin lie

gogo babies ( half naked dudes ): -- can only be found at The Club -- very greasy? sweaty? either way they glisten like greek gods under dancefloor neon lights are they even real? you literally only see them at The Club -- always naked except for thong undies -- and sneakers, for some reason??? -- are men of little words, but always seem to say enough to make you thirsty af athletic af, can bend in ways no normal gayboi can deal with ( that’s why we out here ) the more money you throw at them the sexier they get this is a fact about bards and gaybabies

thirsty clientele ( every single time you’re at the club ): -- ALWAYS creepin on gogo babies and... well.. literally anyone lbr -- will wait till you’ve had 7 shots of tequila then creep up on your ass from behind -- constant boner? or is it hands? either way it’s nopecity non-consensual and it’s time to flag down security -- they phase into the wall until you look at them and break their disguise and then you’re fuck’d -- honestly nothing about these guys are good they may as well be dementors -- can only be defeated by, literally, any charismatic gay who sees you in trouble and comes to your aid -- #there’s always a gay to protect you thankgod 

shady gays ( dressed in black, shadin tf outta you on the street ): -- relentlessly savage af do not approach without a spine or being dead inside already -- regina george? guuuuurl don’t even play she ain’t even close to this -- will be precious to your face but knives at first base -- can automatically sense if you have knock off designer shit without even looking at it -- better not be wearin last summer’s jimmy choo’s or vera wang ‘cause you bout to be dragged -- will judge you on your love for betsey johnson, but seems to never be seen in public not wearing basic nu goth black ( ugh seriously? that’s soooo forever 21 ) -- vogue is basically their religion -- lady gaga may as well be their fashion inspiration, despite how impractical it is to wear 60% of runway designs -- will cry about anything, especially after drinking two wine coolers

adam and steve ( explanatory gays ) -- you watched Another Gay Movie and Will & Grace and now you get to meet this irl but x20 -- perfect skin and make up like how????? -- you haven’t seen anyone voguing since like 30 years ago but here it is -- rainbow paraphernalia, constantly, somehow -- the pose game here is rivaling JoJo, like you legit cannot compete you can’t even roll for dexterity here -- the actual personification of a unicorn, which is literally just a horse. because horses are extra af already so just glue a stick on they foreheads -- are always bottom. like don’t even suggest being top it’s not gonna happen -- drama... constantly... just.... nah

momma ( ru-paul. literally ) -- that is literally goddamn rupaul -- constantly busy and has zero time for normal conversations -- it’s like you forget ru is gay af and is close to LA and it makes sense to run into them here -- constantly ic lbr -- still manages to be that NPC that gives out real good advice -- is also that NPC you don’t expect to run into, like ever, so you better be ready for a wild adventure -- is your fuckin mom. not even drag mom, they’re you’re mom and is full of mom advice -- still problematic, but also still full of good mom shit

the queens ( of the stone age ) -- don’t even try they’re make up game is stronger than your lift game -- “this man looks better in a dress than i do” and that’s literally how it is just accept it -- are always chaotic fabulous -- will either be chill or problematic there’s no in between -- CONSTANTLY GOSSIPY -- drama? may have originated with them saying some shit while they were too drunk and forgot to not be a decent person -- might say accidentally transphobic shit, but depending on their alignment may actually correct their behavior

lost fitizen ( no homo-bro ) -- #loststraightboy, but lbr he already knows why he’s out here -- constantly nervous and suspicious -- can’t play it cool even if he tried -- is desperately trying to be as macho as possible, but you’ve caught him staring real hard at the gogo babies on more than one occasion -- may masquerade as the token straight garbage at the gay club tryin to feel up on ladies havin fun, but then gets real smooth when you cut in -- is a stoner? is drunk? you’re legit not sure he looks wildly startled, maybe he needs a nap or a snack ( #you #youarethesnack ) -- will offer to be your “work out buddy”............ you’re old enough to know what that shit means -- will either be a toxic fuckboi or your future respectful life partner there is no in between

haterade ( misc religious protestors ) -- srsl wtf r you don’t even go here -- will either be yelling aggressive random bible shit @ you or standing quietly looking dead inside because they’d rather be anywhere else but surrounded by naked gay men -- are literally everywhere, even at anime conventions like wtf -- maybe they need a fuckin nap or a nice salad? -- constantly contradicting their own dialogue when approached and questioned about their “beliefs” -- it’s literally the same people every year you wonder if they have lives or family

woke gaybabies ( literally every other normal gay ) -- blends in like spies or secret agents -- you can go years of your life without knowing they’re anything other than straight -- honestly just came out here to have fun, get some drinks, and cut loose for a night -- is probably your designated driver and suggests that you walk to the ihop a block away to get to food after you’re too drunk to function -- will ( reluctantly ) take care of your stupid drunk gay ass when you’ve had too much -- may be middle aged, but also has a fleeting hope they’ll find a nice person to talk to at the bar -- prefers OK Cupid to Tinder because the thirst difference between the two is too real -- has normal interests, is easily relatable, but are basically unicorns because their impossible to spot in the crowds of extras

the last lesbian alive ( is butch af ) -- in a sea of testosterone, you see a glimmer of estrogen somehow -- has she worn anything other than lumberjack print or doc martens? who honestly knows?? -- is probably more aggressive than your chihuahua do not engage her in a bar fight you will fuckin lose -- buzz cut, heavy set and is very passionate about fur babies and marching for human rights -- is straight up pissed off about the lack of women in weho to chill with like jfc? -- S&M. hands down. you better have the day off from work the next day cause you aint walkin straight the next mornin -- is basically a unicorn, lbr when was the last time you saw a fresh real lesbian in sausage fest weho -- will either be batshit or wholesome and good, there IS no in between gurlfrond -- will build you a house, but unlike your dad stuck in his shitty marriage, will actually fuckin do it, and it will be everything you ever hoped it would be