#as is everything in my head
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Cirdan, wanderlust, fast.
Time passes slowly for Círdan. It has done so for too long, and there is nothing he can do about it.
He knows this with his whole being, the being which he knows others consider ancient, and have for quite some time; for much longer than he would care to admit. Olórin had told him when he last passed through Círdan's domain, 'Old friend, now your hröa matches mine'. Círdan had laughed and replied 'Ah, meldo, 'twas never merely about one's physical bearing, else I would have left already when my hair started turning mithril-silver! Before my time was past, and I still had some vigour for travel left.'
Olórin had narrowed his eyes, and for all his far-sightedness, Círdan could not decipher the look in them. 'Would you have, truly?' he had asked. 'After - all that has come to pass, you would have left for the Grey Lands at some arbitrary time for what? Wanderlust?'
There were eons of knowledge in Olórin's gaze, and if he had concentrated, Círdan was convinced he could see echoes of golden locks and harsh steel in their depths.
'I have no wanderlust,' he replied truthfully. 'I am where I am by the will of the Valar, and here I shall stay until I sense it is time for me to leave.'
'Think you not that time is passed? Long gone, smothered by the fast passage of time?'
Círdan had laughed then, and it was not a merry laugh. It carried too much pain too deeply buried to ever be called even close to merry. Laughter had, for Círdan, lost its appeal a long time ago, for how can one love an imitation after one had heard pure joyous laughter in its original form?
'Time had slowed for me, old friend, and with every passing year it slows some more, until I fear it will cease completely.' He met Olórin's knowing eyes. 'And when it halts, then...' he trailed off, for he dared not speak of his greatest wish, buried deep within with a ribbon of golden hair and bloodied steel.
They had stood in silence, watching the ocean before them. There was no need to speak, for if Olórin knew who Círdan was always, always thinking of, he knew why that memory was as painful as it was old.
"Faith," Olórin had whispered. "Have faith in yourself, Nowë."
As much as you do in her, and she in you, the ocean wind seemed to whisper, but Círdan had merely closed his eyes, and did not dare to hope.
#this is OLD old#and its also about#cirdan/lalwen#because everything i write about either of them is#they are my beloveds and i refuse to cease loving them#anyways lets see#effervescentdragonwrites#silm fic#havent used that tag in a while#:)))#nowe ciryatan#olorin#lalwen x cirdan#IMPLIED#as is everything in my head#ily sae
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yknow it's kinda crazy that ive only really been on here for a bit over a year it feels like this website is my parent
#like fr tho tumblr actually had a big impact on me over this last year#like this community i have on here has def helped me stay level headed and silly despite everything going on in my life now
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learning to love
#they make me so fucking unwell i feel so ill whenever i think about them#it's OVER for me i'm done#teen skk is going on my fucking suicide note thanks for everything asagiri#something something your bloodied hand in mind something something by you i am forever undone#something something to the world we may be villains but to each other we're two halves of the same soul#head in my fucking hands#sry for getting all emo i rewatched pmmm yesterday and i've been feeling existential about everything#i actually listened to the pmmm ost while drawing it saved me i love you yuki kajiura😍 (i died)#nothing like a haunting latin chorus echoing through my empty head while i draw tragic yaoi 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰#big shoutout to sis puella magica i had that one on loop for like two hours‼️#anyway enough about the doomed yuri anime back to skk#forget everything i said i actually hope they explode i'm sick of their asses#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#chuuya nakahara#nakahara chuuya#osamu dazai#dazai osamu#soukoku#skk#posting at ungodly hours again this is gonna catch up to me 💔#lotus draws
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"I've been searching, all of my life,
Finally I've found my north star."
#my art#splatoon#pearl houzuki#marina ida#splatoon 2#pearlina#grand fest splatoon#grand festival#off the hook#three wishes#splatoon 3#ive listened to this song like 50 time by now it had no right to be this GOOD#also this part in specific has been in my head for a while i had to draw#she's her north star :( wtf#babies#wives#also baby rina and punk pearl are my life my everything
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lily mf evans.
the only woman ever.
#lily mf evans#my actual queen#she’s everything#ugh#i just can’t get over her#she’s an icon#she’s a legend#she is the moment#marylily crumbs#the freckles#my red headed queen#ok i’ll stop gushing on now#lily evans#the valkyries#dead gay wizards#marauders era#fanart#digital art
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"I'll show you every day that choosing to live was worth it"
some of my favourite scenes from @hijinks-n-lowjinks' fic things i would miss from the other side . this fic tore my heart out fr but like in a good way and i wanted to pay it homage the only way i know how <3
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#itafushi#fushiita#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#megumi fushiguro#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#I LOVE PLOTTING AND ALSO SCHEMING#listen i have a lot of feelings and i needed 2 process them and i do that by making art 2 target my mutuals directly#read my about it's there it's in the fineprint if we talk You Are Not Safe smile#i just . BITING BITING BITING this fic#the domesticity the grief the casual yet unfathomably deep soulmatism.......im ruined i tell u Ruined#so naturally i dropped everything#remember how i said lefts/rights r my enemy my beloathed my nemesis. MIRRORS MADE IT SO MUCH WORSE FHGDSAJFGJS I WANTED DEATH#i was like this is incorrect. no this is correct. flips them around in my head. no im wrong again actually#purgatory tbh but we got there (watch me be wrong again tho if i am wrong again i think i will Cry)#anyway!!! i don't have much else to say except pls read the fic and show jinx some love they 1000% deserve it this fic 1000% deserves it#i could only draw so many scenes but i would draw all of it if i could#fr i ws so paranoid abt accuracy lmao cut 2 footage of me looking up rice cooker models and wtf the colour 'carnelian' was#i hope i got everything right i hope i did it justice :'>#also if any1 mentions how megumi's arm in 3 is at an awkward angle. look me in the eye and tell me youve comfortably cuddled with someone#i will call u a liar
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made my own prefall/angel lucifer design
#hazbin hotel lucifer#lucifer morningstar#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanart#angel luci#now i shall use him for other such ideas in my head hopefully any of them come to creation soon#sozzles i work super slow on art#also to the one person who said i had the best lucifer design im about to feed you and you alone but also THANK YOU IM ON THE VERGE OF CRYI#THAT COMMENT IN TAGS WAS ACTUALLY SO NICE AND IS MY EVERYTHING IM GOING TO KEEP LOOKING AT IT <333333333 BIG HEART EMOJI
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cw. none except satoru being disgustingly cute (part 2)
satoru isn’t used to people calling him anything other than his surname. gojo-san to most, gojo-sensei to others. it’s simple, and gets the job done.
only a handful of people stick to calling him by his given name. to them, he’s satoru. it’s easy, and rolls of the tongue, and he greatly prefers it over the sound of his surname. it makes him feel like an actual person.
satoru never entertained the possibility of being called anything else other than those two names. he didn’t think it would ever happen.
for once, he was glad to be proven wrong.
“tough day, pretty?” you ask gently, and he sighs with a nod as he throws himself into your opened arms. his body moulds easily into yours, and he lets out a heavy groan as he settles onto the couch with you. the groan is loud, and over-exaggerated.
it’s so satoru.
you have to stifle a giggle.
“everything went horribly wrong,” he grumbles, his voice muffled against the fabric of your shirt. “the higher ups were up my ass again, my students laughed at me again, and when i finally made it to that bakery you liked they were out of your favourite pastries so i couldn’t get them for you—again!”
“oh, my poor baby,” you coo, and gently push his bangs out of his face. he nods in agreement, faking an immense amount of sympathy for himself. “‘s okay, at least you tried, hm? i think that’s very sweet.”
satoru hums, as if he’s deeply thinking about your words. “’m still your baby?” he mumbles, deciding that’s the most important thing right now. his eyes briefly flutter shut, consumed by utter bliss as you play with the hairs on his undercut.
“mhm, still my baby.”
“yeah? what else am i?”
this time you do giggle. he does this sometimes. you aren’t exactly sure why—but on tough days, satoru likes to crawl into your arms and listen to you call him every cheesy nickname under the sun. it’s easily providable and makes him so very happy, so you always indulge him.
“my honey bun.”
“and?”
“my boo bear.”
“mhm.”
“my sweetheart.”
“yes?”
you laugh softly. “my mochi,” you coo, and pinch his cheek. it’s a little squished because he’s laying on your chest, but it emphasises your point.
he grins under your touch. it’s adorable.
“keep them coming, please?” he asks, and you do. you always do, unable to refuse him. especially when he asks so sweetly.
“my sugar cookie.”
“my muffin.”
“my baby cakes.”
“my angel.”
“my love.”
“my husband.”
“h—huh?” satoru stammers, looking up from your chest. he lays his chin on your sternum, baby blue eyes blinking up at you. they’re filled with awe, surprise, and utter glee. “that’s, i’m not. . .”
“just testing the title, baby,” you tell him, and continue playing with his hair. he bathes in your touch and you smile softly as he grabs and kisses the palm of your hand. “what do you think, hm?”
“i think you should call me it again.”
“oh?”
“mhm,” he mumbles.
“my dearest husband.”
“again.”
“my handsome husband.”
“again.”
“my sweet husband.”
“again, please?”
you hum, impressed. “my well-mannered husband.”
satoru chuckles, and lays back down on your chest. his white hair tickles against your skin, and he sighs in content.
“i think i want to be your husband for real.”
“yeah?”
“yeah,” he mumbles and nuzzles further into your hold. “y’ve got the same ring size still, right?”
“i sure do,” you say, a content smile on your lips as you watch him slowly doze off to sleep.
“hm, good to know.”
for satoru, those nicknames make him feel as if he’s something even greater than a person—it makes him feel yours.
he’s not just gojo, the strongest. he’s not just satoru, the at-times somewhat immature adult with the sweet tooth of a child.
he’s yours. your baby. your honey bun. your boo bear. your mochi. your boyfriend. your love. and for satoru, there’s no greater thing in the world than that.
#ꕤ — sanatomis darling: gojo satoru#usually i list the nicknames i have from him of the top of my head but i’ll admit it guys#i opened my notes app for this one#i call him so many nicknames i know mimi is sick of us#very self-indulgent once again my apologies (or not)#HES JUST SO#adorable#he’s everything and he deserves every nickname#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x reader fluff#satoru gojo x reader fluff#gojo x reader fluff#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#sneaking it in again guys sorry#⍣ ❥ ೋ 𝑠𝑎𝑡𝑜𝑚𝑖.
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Have you ever vomited so hard you not only wrecked your throat but dislocated your collarbone?
How about a migraine so bad it triggers your mast cells into a pre-anaphylactic reaction and you start breaking out in hives all over your body?
Yeah. Me neither until 4 o’clock this morning.
New level of hell unlocked.
And the migraine is still ongoing. I’m just no longer blind and dry-heaving.
I hate this.
#chronic health tag#chronic migraine#tw vomit#tw body injury#my collarbone is back in but everything hurts so bad#if I can’t keep this water down I’m heading to the ER
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Party Billiam AU Origins!
there's so many bill-goes-back-before-things-went-bad-but-knows-everything fics, but what IF it was Ford-with-future-knowledge?
But Ford isn't a god, what can he do to stop Bill? Can't kill him, can't trap him, can't risk him running off to someone else for portal building. The only thing he can really do is- seduce the seducer first! Nudge him away from evil plots with sweaty nervous dates! He is definitely emotional-ready for this!
#billford#gravity falls#he did it#he saved the town#bill cipher#ford pines#party billiam au#both grunkle stan and mabel prepped him for this#good thing bill is a freak#or their advice would be make everything worse!#mega happy ending au#ford earns his flirty girl tattoo#does this mess with his head?#a little!#unethical?#perhaps!#are they happy tho?#yes#my art#comic
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Sometimes at work it's not my place to tell people the things I want to say, and I find I often go home at the end of the rougher days to stand blankly in my shower and tell myself over and over what I wish I could pass on.
This accomplishes very little, and mostly just gives me a tension headache, but through it all I think I've narrowed myself down to a few solid things I'd like to tell people the most.
You can't change people. Not permanently, not for anythig. You can support them, encourage them, love them, give them tools and opportunities and resources, but you can't make them change. They can change themselves if they want to, but they have to want to, and they have to want it for themselves, because they're the only one that's certain to be with them forever.
For better or worse, you make your own choices, and blaming bad choices on others doesn't only work to absolve you of responsibility- it also robs you of control. Because if you say you only did something because I did something, then you arent only shifting blame- you're admitting that you cannot control yourself, that you cannot truly make choices for yourself, that other people can control you- and as long as you truly beleive that, you'll keep facing the same problems over and over. You'll keep letting others dictate your choices, because you'll beleive that they can, and you'll never be free.
White knights on horseback are from fairytales. Nobody can help you if ou're not willing to help yourself. To try, to put the dirty work in, to belive you're worth that effort- Act as though nobody is coming to save you. From a struggle, from pain, from bad relationships, from yourself. And when you do save yourself, because you will, because failure here isn't an option if you want to survive, you'll never find another dragon that can keep you prisoner.
Don't say anything to anyone that you wouldn't want them remembering forever.
Doing the right thing in bad circumstances is hard. It's the hardest thing. But if you make the choice to do that hard thing anyways, despite your fear, you'll go on the rest of your like knowing that you're the sort of person who did something.
The present only seems the hardest because the past I over and the future hasn't happened.
There's so much joy ahead of you, the kind you can't possibly understand until you see it yourself.
The responsibility of consequences is often disguised as the power of permission. "I won't do this if you help me", "I'll work on my anger if you do this for me", "I promised you I'd quit, but can I have just one?". The unspoken question is, "Can it be your fault if this goes badly?"
You cant make someone love you the way you need to be loved. Someone can love you very much and still be bad for you, even if you love them very much in return. Two people can love each other very, very much, and try their very best, and still be wrong for each other.
Sometimes being near to someone changes you, even in good ways, and the people you become don't fit together as well as the people you were.
Caring takes work. Even if it's real. Especially if it's real. And the most important gestures aren't the grand, poetic, songs-and-flowers-and-tears moments; they're getting out of bed even though you don't want to. Paying attention to things you don't enjoy. Scrubbing pans, or opening a window, saying "thank-you", or helping carry groceries into the house. The small things fill the big things- without the small, boring, mediocre things, big things feel hollow.
Thrre is honour and dignity in humble work.
If you are a cruel and spiteful person, then you will find every place you visit to be full of the same cruel, spiteful people. This is not because the world is as cruel as you, but because everywhere you are, you will be disliked. This is the curse that comes with being persistently cruel and spiteful.
If you are a kind and ppsitive person, you will repeatedly encounter kind and positive people, because as they grow familiar with you, they will be happier to have you near. This is the reward of being a kind and positive person.
When splitting paths with loved ones, briefly or forever, aim for your last words to always be "I love you".
#I'm still so young and ignorant#but I wish someone had told ME these things before I had to learn them#And now when shit goes south and everything is over and calm again the same things just roll though my head#Over and over and over#It's like everyone I meet has the same 3 problems and its ruining their lives#I just want to take everyone I meet by the shoulders and shake them#I KNOW why this is happening to you#Do you realize you can be better?#Do you realize you can do it?#Aren't you terrified of wasting your life like this?#*I* want to be happier#*I* used to be so much worse than I am#And I don't have it all figured out#But if we all decide to help ourselves then it'll be that much easier to help each other#Right?#It's so hard to lift dead weight#You need to kick against the waves with me#You need to WANT to float#Do you understand#Ugh it's 6am#This has been your overdramatic midnight ramble#Imma grill me a cheese and go back to bed#Blaurfhgh
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Kazuscara | A Ghost of a Memory
Part 1/?
Also hbday to scara ♡
#genshin impact#kazuha#kaedehara kazuha#scaramouche#wanderer#kazuscara#my art#first art of the year!!#i have an entire 20+ page comic planned for this sooo#u can expect more of them#and every time i think about how to panel everything more pages get added akdfh#they are living rent free in my head rn#hoping that I can get the next parts up next week! but it's currently the part that i'm having trouble#sketching out#so im doing more research :'D#fight scenes and bgs are not my forte but that can change for 2023 lmao
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#megop#transformers#transformers one#tfedit#transformersedit#filmedit#animationedit#optimus prime#megatron#mine#mine: megop#mine: edits#i can't get this scene out of my head#i replayed it at least a million times#meg's voice broke my heart and op's face shattered it#idk if this scene is like this in the movie#but to me it is#also i haven't made gifs in years and i had to relearn everything with a different program#so it's a work in progress
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More photos from my digital camera (7.2 megapixels)
#I’m such a maximalist but I want to be a minimalist in my head#it’s a mental battle where I want everything gone but I need to hoarde it lool#bootleg vintage yugioh chair from 2008 is insane#I hope you are all well#and drinking lots of water#I always say that but I never do it myself#love you all#y2k#y2k aesthetic#y2k style#y2k nostalgia#y2k icons#2000s web#old web#2000s#early 2000s#2000s internet#digital camera photo#digital camera#2000s photography#yugioh#tamagotchi#Ps2
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y’know what? fuck you. *UNGRAYSCALES YOUR ISATS*
no wait come back there’s greyscale versions under the cut :(
#marshdoodles#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#odile more like. oteal. gottem#anyways color headcanons!!! these’ve been brewing in my head for a little while#especially euphrasie. i genuinely didn’t process everything being in greyscale until after she was introduced#my color headcanon for her was so engrained within me that i didn’t realize she wasn’t colored#everyone else came pretty easily. except for odile#i don’t really see her wearing like. saturated colors?#i just defaulted to teal because i like tinting black hair teal#her purple-ish shirt was supposed to be like. a subtle hint to her being half vaugardian#since all of my vauguardians have warmer color palettes#but idrk how well that translates. oh well!#im like 90% sure i chose purple for mira because of plums. even though mirabelle plums aren’t purple#but by the time i realized that her colors were set in stone in my brain#i’d go on about design details for the others but these tags are already outrageously long as is#so uh. oops. can you tell i like talking about character design
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and whenever they couldn't speak they looked at eachother
#call of duty#john price#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick#task force 141#ghostsoap#there's a man in my brain cooking up an AU#this is a nod to it#the ingredients: indulgence and everything i've ever liked#cw alcohol#cw smoking#also not accepting comments regarding the wildly varying formality of their fits and also nonsensical accessories#you gotta believe me it makes sense in my head okay
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