#as if this fandom hasn’t been horrible enough to him as it is to the point he has no social media presence

[gaypeople]

just very strange and disingenuous to fight against sam getting pitched for award nominations for a show where he is a main character and the literal co-lead…….but okay

[rebelliousstories]

Can I request suggestive headcanons for Remy, Logan, Wade, and poly Logan & Wade reacting to his shy gn s/o immediately covering their eyes while apologising profusely because they accidentally saw him half-naked because he was changing clothes please?

Walking in on Their S/O Changing…

Fandom: X-Men

Request: Yes by Anon

Warnings: Suggestive themes, Brief Strong Language, Fluff

Word Count: 1,043

Main Masterlist: Here

X-Men Masterlist: Here

Logan Howlett/ The Wolverine

* Okay, so keep in mind that this man has been alive for more than 200 years. He’s seen a lot. He’s done a lot. There is not much else that can surprise him in terms of learning new things

* However… You can still surprise him

* I completely see him as a man that would just casually steamroll past the fact that you were only in your undergarments. He’s not phased, nor does he care.

* Logan will definitely take the time to ogle if he gets the chance, but he’s aware there is a time and place for that.

* “Hey, we were out of beer so I took the truck to go get some… oh shit.” And with that, he was speechless. Logan’s eyes would trail up and down your figure, even though part of it was obscured by the tshirt that was pressed against your body

* Silently, he would stalk closer and closer to you, never once taking his eyes off of you. His hands would gently pull the shirt away so he could get a better look. Feather light touches would cascade themselves down your arms, and chest; all the while his eyes would drink it up

* Picking you up, he walked over to the bed while holding you and pressing his nose into the crook of your neck

* “What about the beer?”

* “Forget the beer.”

Wade Wilson/Deadpool

* Oh, the beloved merc with the mouth. How do I say this gently? He will both make you love and hate him walking on you. It all started because he had gotten you a new suit that he wanted you to wear.

* Wade had begged and begged you to wear it, but there was no appropriate timing to do so. It had gotten to the point that he had accepted that you weren’t going to wear it. But when you finally had been worn down enough, he got super giddy at the prospect of you wearing it. But you had taken too long in his mind which prompted him to take matters into his own hands.

* “What’s taking you so long, angel cakes? Oh, hello.”

* “Wade! Get out!”

* Throwing things does not deter this man, oh no, my friend. For when he gets a glimpse of you, half undressed with the suit on the bed, he’s gonna need his special sock. Wade is frozen in a state of bliss and was unable to move himself. Not until you forcibly pushed him out, and shut the door on him. When you had finally put the suit on and came out to show him, he was still unable to form complete sentences or even words at you.

* Safe to say, you had finally silenced “the mouth”

Remy LeBeau/Gambit

* Ah, Le Diable Blanc. See, I know, you want me to come on here and talk about how big of a flirt Remy is. But no! That boy is a southerner, and southern men are raised to be gentlemen. I truly, in my heart of hearts believe, that if Remy caught you changing, he would blush and book it out of there.

* Hear me out! Just, imagine it, okay…

* It’s late and Remy hasn’t come home from his night out playing cards. The hour was nearing one in the morning, when you finally decide to call it a night, but you’re unable to fall asleep quite yet. Fearing that you’ll have to spend another night watching horrible late night reruns in the motel, you began changing into one of his tshirts to sleep in when you heard the door open. Struggling to get the shirt over your head to have some sort of coverage, you weren’t quite fast enough.

* “Ooh, I tell you cher, it was a goo- oh lord have mercy.”

* And like that, the door was shut again. Maybe you let out a squeak, maybe a gasp. But either way, your ragin’ Cajun was outside the room, breathing heavily and holding it shut. After a few minutes, he pressed his ear to the door to hear inside.

* “Cher, you dressed yet?”

* “Yeah. You can come in.”

* When he does, you’re already under the covers with the remote to the tv next to you, looking at the door. Gambit just grabbed his change of clothes that didn’t smell like sweat, alcohol, and smoke, and went to change in the bathroom. When he came out, he assumed his place with you in bed. On his back with you tucked into his side.

* Although, the only mention he ever gave, was a whisper of, “You look real pretty under all that, cher. Like an angel sent straight to save ol’ Gambit.”

Poly! Wolverine and Deadpool

* Prepare for trouble and make it double! Two lovers with a regenerative healing factor that makes snarky comments? Sign me up!

* This is definitely happening after a morning food run. You’re living with them, and Mary Puppins, and Blind Al, and Wade decided that today was the day for donuts and good coffee. Logan was thoughtful enough to leave a note on his side of the bed stating where they were going and that they would be back.

* This left you and the dog to get ready for the day by yourselves. After a lengthy shower that you didn’t have to share, you had made your way into the room to get some fashion advice from the sweet little pupper.

* “Okay girl. Do we go with the yellow dress, or the red dress today?”

* There was a noise, and two men bumbled into the room.

* “Avert your eyes, sweet summer child. But you should just forgo the dress. And the under garments while you’re at it.”

* “Can you go five minutes without something becoming sexual?”

* Wade gave an mhm while shaking his head, and turned back to his partner. Logan had to do a double take at your state, but there was appreciation in his eyes.

* “Can you two give us girls some privacy?”

* Logan had to drag his counter part out of there even though he managed to break free from the mutant’s hold on a number of occasions. As he left, the Wolverine sent an affirmative grunt and nod towards the red dress in your hands.

[wraith-caller]

What gets me about people’s reading of Darian’s dialog on Rogier is how terribly uncharitable they are to Darian. I’ve seen it written off as everything from ‘he’s angry and jealous that Rogier’s sleeping with Fia’ to ‘he’s a bitter ex/trashing his old friend’ to ‘he made lofty assumptions about Rogier and now he’s mad Rogier hasn’t met them’. The common pattern is that no one takes into account Darian’s perspective, his past, or his emotions. It’s like he and this dialog exist in a vacuum to most players, who then decide Darian is just some big ol’ meanie head who wronged poor, innocent Rogier.

The dialog in question is this:

“Are you acquainted with a man named Rogier? You know, the piteous fellow hiding away on the balcony? He was a formidable spellblade, in times past. Don’t let his easy air deceive you. He was wise beyond his years, stout of heart and clear of mind. No more though. You see him now, ravaged by thorns, muttering and rambling… Like he’s half-dead already. I can’t stomach to watch. Take well the lesson, friend. That’s how you end up, when seduced by Those Who Live in Death. When grace is sullied, it rots people from the inside. Breaks them.”

Darian isn’t talking about the Rogier he knew before their argument and the Rogier he knew after their argument. He’s talking about the Rogier before deathblight and after. The Rogier who is now pitiful and broken, “hiding away on the balcony”, is no longer a formidable spellblade. We know, because he gives us his weapon, admitting his fighting days are behind him. Darian knows Rogier puts up an appeasing mask, “his easy air” and uses it to disarm others. And this isn’t followed by accusations of duplicity or bitterness about that. Darian is not saying “Rogier deceived me with his easy air and actually believed in a foul and horrible cause.” He is saying, “Rogier acts casual and friendly, but his mind is sharp, he’s determined, and he’s more thoughtful than he may let on.” It indicates Darian DID know the real Rogier to some extent, enough to know there’s more to him than the airs he puts on. Then comes that “No more though.” What has changed? We know it isn’t their parting – this happened sometime before we came along, given that we find Darian and Rogier both alone. So is he still stewing over something that probably happened more than a couple weeks ago and is just so eager to trash Rogier he’ll do it to the first stranger who asks about him?

Wouldn’t you know, the very next sentence provides further context about what, in Darian’s opinion, has changed: “You see him now, ravaged by thorns, muttering and rambling…” It’s not the argument and the fallout that makes Darian see Rogier in a new light. It’s Rogier literally dying and rotting away in front of him. Rogier has been struck by deathblight, something both of them are going to be very familiar with the consequences of. Darian is grieving a friend, not shitting on an ex. He’s angry, he’s upset, he’s grieving, his old friend is dying and there are regrets between them. Darian may connect Rogier being blighted with his compassion for Those Who Live in Death, and maybe it’s a little unfair since it could happen to anyone regardless of their perspectives on that. However, he is right that in pursuing his goals, Rogier necessarily must expose himself to a higher risk of becoming infected.

Darian doesn’t get much sympathy from fandom, so I know it shouldn’t surprise me that people come away from this dialog with the simplest, negative take on him. But I don’t see here a guy trash talking someone who disagrees with him. I see someone who had a falling out with someone he cared enough about to know beyond the masks he put up. I see someone who regrets their parting, motivating him to hand off little olive branches like the knifeprint, the information about what he’s seen in Summonwater. I see someone who is watching a friend die right before his eyes, and not just to any affliction, but the very affliction he himself is sworn to destroy. The very affliction he would have warned Rogier about the dangers of, given his pursuits. Of course he is bitter and angry and resentful about that. Regardless of their differences in beliefs, the two still talk, so Darian clearly doesn’t hate Rogier. He hates what happened to him, and this is him venting that to us.

[anxiousdreamcore]

I saw that recent post you made writing out how you view all the Avatar characters, and in it, you mentioned that your opinion of the characters has changed a lot in the past year and a half (I can't believe it's been that long since ATWOW!)

So how did your opinion of the characters change and why? Who changed the most radically? I'd love to hear your thought process!

Warning: yapping ahead

My opinion changed as I began consuming content from different people in the fanbase, as I sadly started out my journey relegated to mostly the recom side of the fandom.

A very specific vision I’ve formed was one of him and Neytiri. Her and Spider are two individuals forced to be close by circumstance, and not necessarily liking each other but they’re known each other for so long that they know each other, you know? The way I see it, they can’t pretend to be strangers, and their argument in the high ground comics, which is the only time any of the children oppose Neytiri makes me think that this is the dynamic going on between them.

Being a Spider fan outside of the recom space was a horrible experience for many of my mutuals, and I heard from more than one person that just liking the character earned them death threats, so I kept to the only space where he was actually liked, which uh…may or may not have been a bit of an echo chamber.

First months after ATWOW came out the opinions were extremely polarising and there was little depth to go around. I realised later on though, I didn’t have to pick a side and didn’t have to force myself to forgive Quaritch, because I never wanted to. I didn’t have to see him as either a 🥺baby gworl🥺 or an emotionless monstrosity.

As I said before, the essays made by Quaritch fans sold me at first. They seemed to provide a lot of proof and I was on board with the identity crisis theory, but as time went on I believed it less and less. Looking at the movie with fresh eyes months later, I formed and opinion of my own and that is — That recom Quaritch is an amalgamation of his past self and the Na’vi instincts/perspective of his new body. He’s a fucked up soup that is, in a way, different than his human predecessor but not different enough to be considered a wholly separate creature. If human Quaritch was a dying garden then recom Quaritch is that same garden decayed to the core, with one single flower emerging amongst the rot, not yet consumed by it. (That flower being his fatherhood obv)

I went from seeing him as a man perhaps capable of redemption and seeing value in Pandora, to a man who, while not enjoying violence per ce, obviously doesn’t give much of a damn about the moon or its habitat or its many cultures. All that matters to Quaritch is that these things matter to his son, so he’ll entertain them and go easy on the destruction, just for him. He doesn’t yet accept Pandora, not fully, but he accepts that Spider does so. That is about his only good quality.

The way I began to see it, Socorro is somewhat his only functioning organ. A breathing lung in an otherwise dead body. Miles hasn’t felt anything but manic happiness and rage for as long as we knew him on screen, and that only changed when he stood in the boy’s presence, constantly challenged by him, and brought out of his comfort zone over and over again. He needs him to be remotely alive and likeable to the audience. He needs him to be something more than a chained army dog.

That brings me to my next point; my other big change in perspective was one of his dynamic with Spider. The more I analysed the franchise the more I came to conclusion that Miles is just an unbearable softie for him, and it was really the deleted scenes and the fact that Spider has a new bow in the ikran taming scene that sold me. He not just likes Spider, he loves him, to death. His sacrifices might not seem sufficient, but for his character, they‘re very much drastic, as Miles is traditionally not a loving person.

Quaritch is canonically a traitor to the RDA because he jeopardised his mission three times in a row, all for a single child. His inner father and colonel are constantly fighting each other, as he knows what he should be focusing on, but can’t resist being a father; having priorities of his own. He was an old fool who thought he could have his cake and eat it too; make Spider safe and happy and be a colonel at the same time, but in the end he made up his mind on what matters more, and it’s Spider. The way I see it now is; Quaritch is only truly loyal to Spider. He can hate it, but he can’t run from it.

[queen-haq]

Fic: Never You, Part 9 (Polin fic)

Fandom: Bridgerton (TV show)

Spoilers: S3 released scenes.

Summary: They may have been friends once but his callous words decimated their relationship. Determined not to have anything to do with him, Penelope is ready to move on. But Colin isn’t giving up, not at all. Friends or not, they are connected for life - and he intends to remind her of that.

Excerpt:

“You would hate me for not wanting to court you. You would be that selfish?”

“Of course you would think that.”

“What else is this if not punishment?”

Masterlist (contains links to previous parts and my other stories)

A03 link if that’s more your jam

Chapter 9

Shame flooded over Penelope, she felt so very embarrassed to be caught in such a compromising position. Colin, on the other hand, simply rose to his full height, consequently blocking her view of Eloise. “Give us a second, El,” he commanded. His hair was ruffled from when her fingers ran through the strands, his face flushed, waistcoat unbuttoned, but he appeared unperturbed by his own flustered appearance. If anything, he was more concerned with tucking the loose strands of her hair behind her ear than dealing with his angry sister. “Are you alright?” he asked quietly, fixing the neckline of her dress that had been pulled low under his frantic grasp.

She quickly buttoned his vest before righting her own clothing. Wet marks from where his mouth had suckled her nipples stained her dress, and she froze for a second, horrified by the sight. What was she going to do? Under no circumstances could she return to the sitting room where others were present. They would know instantly something sordid had taken place.

As if reading her mind, he grazed her cheeks with his fingers. “Don’t worry, I’ll find you a shawl you can use.”

“How long have you been plotting this?” Eloise demanded, approaching them. Her words were directed at Penelope, tone saturated with anger. “You couldn’t use me anymore so now you’re manipulating Colin to get to my family?”

“That is not true!” Penelope defended herself. “I’ve been keeping my distance-”

“Yes, clearly. That must be why you were in the midst of swallowing his face,” Eloise snarked.

“What Pen and I do doesn’t concern you,” Colin remarked dryly, turning to confront Eloise.

“You don’t know her like I do, brother. You have no idea what she’s capable of!”

“I know she has never spoken ill of you but that hasn’t stopped you from slandering her.”

“Don’t fall for it, Colin. Her friendliness is a disguise, underneath she’s nothing but a petty, spiteful witch!”  

“And you’re not, Eloise?” Penelope fired back. Her attempts to confront Eloise face-to-face was hindered by Colin who caged her in a firm grip. “Your sudden friendship with Cressida has nothing to do with how horrible she is to me? I suppose you befriended her out of the goodness of your heart?”

“Cressida treats people the way they deserve.”

“By bullying them? No wonder the two of you are so close!”

“Are you chastising me for bullying? Isn’t that what you’ve been doing for years?”

An exasperated sigh escaped Colin. “The two of you were the best of friends, sisters practically, and now you’re bickering like fools. Is this really how you choose to conduct yourselves?”

“Do not lecture me when you were tupping her right here!” Eloise hissed.

“Enough!” His voice roared across the library, taking both women by surprise.

Colin wasn’t known to raise his voice. Usually calm, unlike Anthony, he used charm to diffuse precarious situations rather than his temper. Yet he’d already revealed his anger with Penelope when he was interrogating her earlier and now it was Eloise’s turn.

“Don’t you ever speak of her like that!” The violence in his voice was potent, causing Eloise to falter back as he directed his cold, seething rage at her. “I don’t give a fuck about what happened between you and Pen or who’s at fault. Whether you reconcile or not, I do not care. But do not make the mistake of insulting Penelope in my presence again, Eloise. You will not like the consequences of that!”

Eloise swallowed audibly. “So you would rather side with an outsider than your own sister?”

“She’s not an outsider to me.” There was no doubt in his voice, no hesitation as he leveled Penelope with a keen glance. “She matters more than you’ll ever know. And I will not let anyone disparage her.”

Penelope held his gaze, unable to look away.

“You must be pleased. You’ve already managed to turn him against me.”

Eloise’s pained tone snapped Penelope out of her daze, her heart squeezing with empathy. “Please, Eloise. It’s nothing like that. If we could just speak alone, I could explain to you-”

“Absolutely not,” Eloise interjected.

“I agree with El. It’s a terrible idea. I doubt the two of you can manage a civilized conversation,” Colin said in a highhanded tone, sounding much like Anthony.

“Stay out of it, Colin!” Penelope rebuked.

Eloise expressed a similar reaction. “You can not order me about. If I want to speak, I will!”

Spotting the fleeting twinkle in Colin’s eyes, it dawned on Penelope he had goaded Eloise on purpose; this outcome was exactly what he wanted. “Fine, then. I will be right outside the door. Hope you ladies can behave yourselves.” Concluding his impression of Anthony, he walked away.

They remained in place, silently eyeing each other. Seconds later, the door shut with a loud thud.

“I will not let you hurt my brother!” Eloise threatened. “If you think you can seduce Colin into marrying you, you’re wrong. It will not happen.”

“That is not what I want, Eloise! He…” Penelope swallowed the lump in her throat. “What you saw between us… I know it was wrong, I should have stopped him but I’ve loved him for so long and-”

“Love?” Eloise laughed mockingly. “You don’t even know what that is!”

“I love you, more than I love my own sisters. I miss you.”

“I do not believe you. You’re a liar!”

“I’m sorry that I hurt you, but you must know I had no choice. If I hadn’t published those things the Queen would have come after you!” 

Eloise shook her head. “Nothing you say can excuse what you’ve done. You’re a liar and a deceiver, that’s all you’re capable of.” Her eyes blazed with fury. “I haven’t revealed the truth about you out of respect for your family, they don’t deserve to suffer for your actions. But I will tell the Queen myself if you don’t stay away from mine. Then the whole world, and Colin, will know who you truly are!”

Penelope studied her friend, desperate to spot some form of sadness or yearning for their years long friendship. Something. Anything. But there was none, only contempt. And it finally dawned on her that their friendship had truly ended. With that realization came a swift flood of anger. “Then do it. Tell the Queen, tell everyone. Destroy me.” She approached Eloise with a slow, determined gait. “But realize that I’m not the only one you’ll be destroying. Lady Whistledown is a business. A successful, thriving one that benefits not only me but many of the working class. I employ servants, delivery boys, printing presses, coachmen. Even your friend Theo Sharpe. The extra money they earn allows them the freedom to pursue their dreams, to better their family’s lives. And you will be ending all of that.” Standing in front of Eloise, Penelope stared up at the other woman. Her gaze was direct, her voice cold. “So go ahead Eloise, do what you must. But do not be surprised when there are consequences to the choice you make. Word will eventually spread that it was you who dismantled their source of income, and they will not be happy.”

“Are you threatening me?” Eyebrow raised, Eloise stared down at Penelope with condescension. “You do take after your mother.”  

Penelope sent her a stiff smile. “You would do well to remember that.”

Eloise turned around and stormed out, leaving her alone in the library again. Her brave face dissipated instantly. Feeling sick, she clutched her stomach and closed her eyes. She took deep breaths to calm herself, her heart broken. Despite telling herself for months their friendship was over, she still harbored hope that she and Eloise would reconcile one day. But seeing the disdain Eloise held for her now, Penelope realized their friendship was irrevocably broken.

She opened her eyes to find Colin standing in front of her. The queasiness turned to butterflies, and her heart started pounding in her chest. After loving him for so long, she had finally come to terms with the fact he would never feel the same about her and she had moved on from that heartbreak. Had reconciled her mind to focus on a new love, new life – only to have Colin return and throw everything into chaos. Her temper rose. How dare he? How dare he turn her life upside down again?

“I suppose we don’t have to worry about Eloise telling others about us,” Colin noted.                                                                                             

“She wouldn’t.”

He stalked closer. “I gather things didn’t go well with Eloise.”     

“Impressive observation.”

He graced her with an amused smile. “Perhaps if I knew the cause of the rift, I could help resolve the issue.”

“Like you helped today?” she pointed out. “It’s best you stay out of it.”

“I will find out the truth. Sooner or later.”

And when he did, she had no doubt he would react the same way his sister did. Her heart grew heavy at the thought of him hating her. “I must go.” She tried to walk past him but he blocked her path, invading her personal space. He stood close, so close she had to look up at him.

His eyes were warm and intent roaming over her face, drifting down to her lips. “We need to discuss what happened last night.”

“There’s no need. I’d rather put it behind us and move on.”

The dark glint in his eyes returned. “Do you really believe I would allow that to happen?”

She peered up at him, her instincts signaling something was afoot. “When you came in earlier, you knew I would be alone.”

His fingers lightly grazed her own. “Yes.”

“But you came in anyway.”

“You were crying.”

“You kissed me on purpose.”

He leaned in, his breath humming against her skin. “We kissed, Penelope. Neither of us could resist the other.”

Her voice was a hushed whisper. “You knew my mother would send someone to look for me, didn’t you?”

He cocked his eyebrow.

“You wanted us to be caught.”

Silent, he watched her. “Yes.”

Rage flooded over her, she was so furious she could barely speak. “You have no care for my reputation, do you? It really doesn’t matter to you that you could have ruined me!” She shook her head at him with disgust. “You call yourself my friend but you’re not! You’re no better than the Cressida Cowpers of this society. You only want to humiliate me.”

She tried to push him away but he gripped her arms. Although she struggled against him, he was stronger, bracing her against his chest. “Did you leave me any choice, Penelope?” he demanded, his voice shaking with anger. “I asked you to be my wife and you turned me down. What else was I supposed to do? This was the only way to ensure you would marry me!”

“And what of my family? Or yours? Did you think about how this scandal would have affected them? Your sisters? Mine? Did you even care?”

His lips drew back in a snarl. “They would have survived. They always do. After we were married, things would have eventually returned to normal.”

She couldn’t wrap her mind around his words. “Who are you? What happened to you?” Tears glistened in her eyes. “The Colin I grew up with would never have been this selfish.”

“This is me! This is who I am now!” He gritted his teeth, eyes blazing with fiery determination. “And I will do anything to make you mine, Penelope.” His hands cupped her face, eyes boring into her. “You will never escape me.”

Fear trickled down her spine. Seeing him so desperate and passionate terrified her, because she knew it was fleeting. He didn’t love her, he only wanted to possess her. Like she was a toy. And when he was done playing with her, he would discard her and move on to someone else. No. She wouldn’t let that happen, no matter what. 

"You don’t want me to be your wife. I would ruin you." 

A small smile curved his lips. "Is that so?"

Her eyes lingered on him, taking in every inch of his beautiful face. Never would he look at her like this again and she wanted to commit everything about his adoring gaze to her memory. 

"I'm not a virgin, Colin. I have been with someone else, known another man's intimate touch." Her voice was blank, free of any emotion. "And we both know you wouldn't want a fallen woman as a wife."

Silence hung in the air. He immediately dropped his hands from her face, like he could no longer bear to touch her. His eyes burned right through her, gleaming with anger, accusation, even betrayal. 

As devastating as his response was, it wasn't a surprise. Turning around, she walked away.

[feralfather]

Omg hello!! Always nice to see new people in the Spider corner of the fandom 🥹

Could I perhaps ask for Spider getting comforted by Quaritch after a village raid? The boy is angry, heartbroken and crying, all while Miles with his military man brain is trying his best to be vulnerable so he could properly comfort his boy 😭

I kinda ran away with this one- oops.

“Spider…”

The boy didn’t even acknowledge the Recom as he jumped off the Irkan, landing hard on the deck below, before storming towards the air-lock that lead to the interior of Bridgehead.

Quaritch quickly detached his queue from Cupcake and took long strides to catch up, paying no mind to what the others were up to. Right now, he needed to talk to his son.

The boy hasn’t looked at him nor said a word since the raid. The licking of the flames and the screams of the people and Spider begging for their lives were still fresh in everyone’s mind… Miles knows all of this has been taking a toll on his boy, and he knew their relationship would take an irreversible blow… but he still tries to cling to the illusion of the normality they’ve created over the last few months, in hopes that it will help sooth himself everyone.

He wasn’t ready to let go. Just the thought made him grip tighter.

But it seems Spider isn’t keen on playing along anymore.

“Spider! I’m talkin’ to you!-”

The Recom grunts in surprise as he has to catch the thick door with both hands and pulls it back open, which Spider had just tried to tug closed before he could reach it. His ears perk up at the sound of an angry mumble as he ducks into the air-lock, and shuts it. “What was that?”

Spider says nothing and keeps his head turned away from him and arms crossed tightly over his chest, but with their close proximity, Miles could see the boy’s throat bobbing every few seconds.

The Recom could feel frustration bubbling in his chest, his tail involuntarily lashing behind him and ears twitching to be pinned back. Ever since he woke up in this new body, he’s hated how his emotions are on display, and now wasn’t a good time to show how frustrated he was getting.

“Damn it, boy! Look at me!-”

“Fuck off!”

Both parties stood in silence, for two entirely different reasons.

Quaritch could only watch in shock as his son sucked in a shaky breath, eyes rimmed red with tears and face blotchy, an undeniable anger in his eyes as he glared up at the Recom.

The air-lock buzzed and the light turned green.

Spider rushed out, and Quaritch needed a few seconds to mentally catch up and chase after the boy yet again, nabbing an Avatar breathing mask along the way. “Spider!” He calls for, what felt like, the hundredth time today, thankful for his long legs as he got close enough to grip the human boy’s shoulder. “Quit runnin’-!”

Miles will never admit that he flinched when Spider whipped around and hissed at him, but he did, if only slightly. Spider lunged at him with a furious cry, and he was forced to wrangle with the boy in the middle of the hallway in front of everyone nearby.

Heads began to turn.

He took a few blows to the gut before he could get ahold of both of the boy’s hands- and then there were the feet. He hissed as Spider kicked him in shin, before getting fed up. “Cut that shit out!” He gritted out as he hauled the kid into his arms as best he could with the boy struggling so fiercely, and began the unnecessarily difficult journey to the Recom’s Quarters, all the while, Spider screamed Na’vi curses and wiggled like a snagged fish.

The moment they got into the room, and the door shut behind them, he let Spider go. The boy immediately jumped away and started pacing like a caged animal. “Let me out! Move, skxawng!”

Quaritch’s ears perked at the familiar curse, but did not rise to the bait. “Spider. Just calm down, so we can have a civil conversation.”

Spider let out an an angry noise and jabbed a finger in his direction, teary with rage. “No! You- you butthole! You’re a Demon! You’re horrible! I hate you!”

The boy���s eyes widened the moment the words slipped out, mouth opening and closing a couple of times.

The silence was heavy, and Miles felt like the air had just been punched from his lungs. He felt like he couldn’t breathe… he took a deep breath through his mask, and steeled his expression, falling into a familiar mask of neutrality. “Do you mean that?”

Spider clenched his fists and turned away.

As he waited for the boy’s answer, he couldn’t help but focus on the mask still firmly in place over Spider’s face, even though the room was oxygenated for Humans, the hissing of the mask filling the silence as Spider struggled to give him an answer.

When he did finally say something, it was so quiet that Miles had to strain his ears to hear it. “You keep doing terrible things.” Spider’s voice was so quiet and wobbly with emotion, it broke the Recom’s heart and filled him with an instinctual need to comfort the boy, which he forced himself to ignore like all the other times the strange instinct washed over him.

“I do what I have to do, for the mission.” The response sounded so robotic that Miles swore he could taste metal on his tongue. ‘I do what I have to do- they’ll take you away from me if I don’t’ is what his heart wanted to say, but the words were too revealing and got stuck in his throat.

“You killed Eywa’s children for no reason!” Spider hissed, shoulders tensing. “You destroyed villages- their homes.”

“I was authorized to use legal force, to find Jake Sully at any cost... It’s the only thing that matters.” Miles feels so tired, like the words he forced from his mouth were physically draining him. ‘If I don’t show my dedication to the mission, they’ll put you back in the machine’

The words were once again on the tip of his tongue, but it was like something was choking him anytime he opens his mouth to say the words.

Spider side-eyed him for a long moment, before turning to face him, and what the boy seen, Miles had no clue. “Do you mean that?” Spider threw his own words back in his face, an almost curious look showing through his anger.

Now, it was Quaritch’s turn to go quiet.

He has to mean it, he has to. Without it, he has no purpose, no direction, no meaning. He has to believe wholeheartedly that bringing in Jake Sully at all costs was the only thing that matters, that it’s what he wants to do. He has to want to live up to his predecessor’s legacy. To want to kill Jake Sully for being a traitor. The higher-ups will probably discard him if he doesn’t, like a broken tool… because that’s all he is now. Property.

“You don’t, do you?” Spider tilts his head, brown eyes deeply searching his own yellow ones. He must have found what he was looking for, because he got this desperate glint in his eyes as he takes a step towards the Recom with every word. “You don’t have to. You could- we could disappear. Go somewhere.” Spider was standing right in front of him now, looking up at him with a fire burning in his eyes, one of defiance and longing for freedom. “We can fly to the other side of the world,”

“..Spider..”

“Go where no one would ever find us!”

“Spider.”

“I could teach you everything- we could be a fam-!”

“That’s enough!” Miles snapped, cutting off Spider before he could say the words that would doom them both. His shoulders slumped, tail drooping as he forced the vile words from his mouth. “We can’t.”

The fire flickered, by was still present in Spider’s eyes. “We can.”

Miles took another breath from his mask, before shaking his head and gripping the boy firmly by both his shoulders. “No, we can’t…”

Frustration brewed on Spider’s face again, but instead of slapping Miles’ hands away like he was expecting him to, the kid only grabbed onto his forearms, eyes searching his face yet again. “..why?”

“There ain’t nowhere I could run where the RDA wouldn’t find me… I-..” Miles got down on one knee to be level with Spider, trying to find a way to voice his concerns. In the end, he decided to be blunt. Straight forward and to the point. “I’m property, Spider- probably got a tracker in me an’ everything.”

Of course, they’ve never been able to actually prove the Tracker Theory, but so much money was put into creating the Recoms that it’d be a shock if they didn’t track their investments.

‘And without the RDA, I am nothing…’ He didn’t dare voice that thought, not wanting the truth to be revealed- that he isn’t as confident and sound of mind as he makes himself out to be.

He frowns, feeling like shit the moment he sees the fire die from Spider’s eyes once again. He wanted so badly to reassure the boy and tell him everything would be ok, that maybe one day, this war would be over and Spider and him could retire somewhere peaceful… that maybe one day, he could allow himself to indulge in his strange instincts to run off into the trees and be the father Spider wanted him to be… but he didn’t want to lie to the boy, so he kept his mouth shut.

Spider scrunched his face and looked to the side. “This isn’t fair.”

“Life ain’t fair, kid.”

Spider’s grip on his forearms tightened, and Miles couldn’t stop himself from reaching up and gently pulling the mask off Spider’s face, before drawing the boy closer until his bare tear-streaked face was pressed into his shoulder. Spider’s arms raised to loosely hang over his broad shoulders, and Miles arms were wrapped securely around Spider, one hand splayed comfortingly against his upper back.

“You wouldn’t be doing any of this stuff if you didn’t have to… right?” Spider mumbled into his shoulder, gripping the back of his vest tightly, which he never got the chance to take off.

Miles’ arms tightened around the boy, as it was the only answer he could give without choking on the words he didn’t realize he wanted to say.

‘Everything I do, I do to keep you safe.’

The words were always on his lips, ready to be said, but something always makes him bite his tongue and swallow them.

[funhouse-mirror-barbie]

I did one of these for fun, and because I thought it would be fun to breakdown the way I like to look at characters! I would love to see everyone else’s thoughts and tier lists! All of my opinions could change with time as the stories progress.

Explanations of the tiers below if ur interested—these are really just personal opinions and have nothing to do with any sort of actual critique. More ranty than usual near the end:

S tier: these are characters that I think have a lot of potential, and could have been a LOT more interesting and engaging to me personally if they were written well and had better characterization + I like their designs more than the rest, or I think they’re actually funny. Most of them are women characters with designs I really like that I think deserve SO much more than what the writings given to them. Plus mammon b/c he’s genuinely funny to me, I like his voice, and i think he’s attractive.

A tier: Same as the above, but I’m just not quite as interested in them and their storylines as S tier. Most of the A tiers are characters that I vibe with but still have problems with their character designs (Ozzie, Fizz, and Bee are the biggest ones). Still made me laugh or are silly, but not quite as much as the S tiers either.

B tier: Characters that I like okay enough, but are really just too bland for me. I don’t think they’re necessarily bad characters, but they’re just very cookie cutter to me. They’d have to have a LOT more personality for me to like them more. I like their designs, but they still have issues—Husk is in here pretty much just b/c I love Keith David, and think he did such a good job with him that it made me like him more.

C tier: These guys are the ones that kind of annoy me. They’re sort of nothing characters that feel more like plot devices, and we dont know enough about them for them to be really interesting, they just sort of exist. Moxxie is there because I’m so tired of him. He hasn’t done anything bad but like. I’m tired of him constantly getting punched down on and being given SO much focus over Millie.

D tier: these guys straight up just annoy the hell out of me. As characters they seem to exist either just to be as annoying and edgy as possible, or they’re so poorly written that probably no amount of potential can make me interested in them. They seem like they’re either around as creator’s pets or excuses to say sexist and fatphobic shit. Loona is there specifically b/c she’s so constantly mean to other characters that it’s frustratingly boring. Beginning to wonder if the writers think that if you have any sort of trauma or difficulties in your past that it means you can just be horrible to everyone around you. People use these characters backstories to explain their inconsistent characterization as if their backstories weren’t also just. Writing decisions. Angel Dust’s series voice direction was terrible he sounds really nasally and whiny to me and I hate that they wrote him to just sexually harass everyone.

F tier: I hate these guys. They are so annoying to me. There is next to nothing charming about them. Two of them are literally rapists that the fandom insists on either weirdly babying or acting like they’re some funny slapstick character. When like. They’re rapists yall. Andraelphus literally just exists to be the replacement male villain to stella, Alastor is one of the absolutely worst character designs and characterizations I’ve ever seen, and crim and Chaz…idk I just don’t like em.

Zestial (Who???) tier: imma be real zestial didn’t do anything wrong. He just. He’s just a cardboard cut out. I know who he is but he literally does nothing and serves no purpose AT ALL other than to give James Monroe Igleheart a role in Hazbin. Which like. Good for James. He’s probably the most talented singer in the whole cast, and he’s a fantastic actor. There’s a reason that his other two characters, Ozzie and Vortex are in A tier. But damn Zestial is just such a nothing boring character that I literally was like “what character is that????” for a sec when making this. Sorry Zestial. You’re not actually below F tier youre just. In the void of TRULY pointless characters. Sorry :(

[assaily]

Feeding the fandom some more. :)

Working Title: Hide the Morning from the Stars Colloquial title: Mute Five Themes: I don't even know anymore

This is a Very rough draft. Like so rough I don't even think my tensing is consistent throughout. This is Five's loneliest first year of retirement ever. And also him hanging out with Grace.

Major warning for the beginning for suicidal thoughts and behaviors.

~Post Mute~

Five takes the gun out of his mouth, his tongue flexing against the heavy iron tang of metal. The weight of it is familiar and cold in his hand as he sets it down on the edge of the sink, his shaking fingers pressing the safety back into place.

He’s just being dramatic. It’s all those teenage hormones mixing badly with all the trauma Five honestly didn’t think he’d live long enough to have to deal with. Oh,  and one hell of a hangover. That’s all it is, dramatics. If he thinks for a minute, plans this out, he realizes how horrible of an idea it is.

He can’t make Mom clean his brain matter off the walls. That would be cruel, even for him. Dramatics. Besides, his siblings would hear the gunshot. He doesn’t really want them to find him. Klaus would summon him before he had a chance to cross over and they’d give him a ream of shit for making such a mess. The idea of being yelled at again is exhausting.

“Can’t you have done this at a hotel or something?” He can imagine them saying to his corpse, scoffing and shaking their heads in disappointment. They’re right, of course, he shouldn’t do this at home. 

He sighs, closing his eyes against the judgment staring back at him through the mirror. He tries to settle the shaking in his body but can only seem to draw it in, not vanquish it. He’s never really calm anymore. He wasn’t much before, but at least he could pretend.

These days it feels like every defense he’s ever built for himself has been stripped away, leaving him raw and naked and fragile in ways he can’t compute. It makes him nasty and hateful, covering himself in glass so that the moment someone reaches out, they bleed. He wants to be normal, he wants to be able to have a conversation with his siblings without thinking they’re judging him, and without picking a fight. He wants to scream and cry and beg them.

But he’s not sure what he would beg for, only that he wants something desperately, but something else inside of him, something old and stalwart and terrified refuses to let him ask. So he picks fights, he’s nasty without knowing why, and his siblings hate him for it.

He opens a drawer below the sink and tucks the little ruger beneath a pile of clean washcloths. This used to be his and Ben’s bathroom, but he’s the only one that uses it now. The others don’t really come up here, even less now that the honeymoon period has passed and they have no desire to keep him company anymore. 

Allison mostly lives in California now, Viktor lives out there too, but they both come to visit every couple of months, staying for a week at a time. Diego lives outside the house with Klaus, and recently Luther found a job that would pay him enough to afford his own apartment. He hasn’t moved out yet, but he’s actively looking.

This is what Five wanted, them living their lives and moving on, but he has to remind himself like he forgot. He wanted to give them the opportunities he never had, and he succeeded. He’s not sure why it feels so terrible now, but he suspects it’s only a symptom of the sickness sitting like a rot in his bones.

He makes a point of not looking at himself, wetting his hairbrush under the faucet in an attempt to tame his bedhead. The scratch of the bristles against his skin hurts, so he pressed harder.

Allison and Viktor are at the end of their visit, and everyone is in the house. They’d be gone by tonight, and the house would go back to the coffin it was without the others, but in the meantime, Five wanted to look at least a little put together for them. He doesn’t want them to worry, but with the constant arguing he figures he can get away with less and less grooming.

His hair is getting long and he hasn’t really had the energy to cut it yet. It’s getting a little annoying, the way it falls into his eyes and curls at the nape of his neck. He’d go to a barber if he thought he could get through the encounter without snatching the scissors away and ending the life of the poor girl unlucky enough to draw the short straw.

When he finishes, he finally looks back at himself. He still looks like garbage, his skin an unhealthy pallor, accentuating the dark circles weighing down his eyes. The water managed to tame some of the mess of his hair, but it’s obviously greasy, flakes of dandruff like ash on his scalp. His reflection glares back at him, anger and disappointment like a stone in his stomach.

He really is a dramatic bastard. Today of all days, he figured he’d leave it in the drawer. Playing the wishing game with all his siblings home. He can’t even deny that of the cry for attention it is. Disgusting, really. His siblings could probably smell him rotting from here.

He considers a shower. It would make him feel better, a little more human at least, before he goes downstairs and has to pretend at it. The idea of getting wet, and having to put his clothes back on with wet skin makes him grimace. He doesn’t want to be cold either, because he can never seem to get warm. No use making it worse.

He flicks the light off and  cracks the door behind him as he leaves. He shuffles back to his room to find something cleaner to wear. He should have washed his face, but now that he’s away from the mirror, he doesn’t have the energy to go back to it.

Mom keeps an ever revolving source of clean clothes for him, so that part of his routine is easy at least. He doesn’t have to think too hard about it, it’s the middle of winter so that means layers, and Five likes layers. They don’t really keep him warm, but that’s normal. No, he likes them because it’s a little like putting on a suit of armor. It’s just fabric, but it still manages to trick some animal part of his brain into thinking he might be a little safer. No more warm, but far less likely to freeze.

Which is an odd quirk, considering his insistence to play the wishing game every fucking morning.

In his defense, he doesn’t usually pull the gun out. He usually he just stares at the whelp in the mirror, wondering why the fuck he’s still here when he feels this horrible all the time. Then he bucks up, cleans up, and moves on with his day.

The ruger is just… He put it there in case of emergencies. Doesn’t hurt to have a few weapons hidden around the house in case the commission decides to come knocking again. He’s not sure when he started pointing it at himself. It’s a bad habit. There are better ways, less violent ways. Ways that don’t make a mess for his family to clean up after him.

He’s just being dramatic. That’s all it is. Nothing more. Being a teenager sucks. He remembers how much better things got when his hormones weren’t through the roof, making his emotions sharp and fragile all the time, making the loneliness so much harder to ignore.

This too shall pass, he would always say to himself. Over and over, like a prayer to an unloving universe. Please, just let it pass. Five is pretty sure he doesn’t really want to be alive anymore, but he also hates wanting to die. It puts a grayish filter on everything, on every thought and interaction. He’s alive, and hates living. Worse than surviving and already feeling dead. There’s a certain numbness to the in-between space of not wanting to be alive, but not wanting to kill himself either, and he yearns for it now in the throes of a worse agony.  

But again, he’s just being dramatic. Pesky hormones. This too shall pass and all that. 

He dresses quickly, changing from yesterday’s sleep rumpled long sleeves and sweaters into cleaner ones. He reuses a layer, the fabric of a knitted shirt warm in his nearly numb hands and it’s not something he wants to waste. The bottom hem on the back is dirty, and there’s a food stain on the front of it. It still smells vaguely like the alcohol he drank last night, but he puts it on as a middle layer. His hands are easily swallowed in the outer layers, and he has the idea some of it might belong to Diego. He stole a number of garments from them all last fall, and plans to give them back at the end of spring, if he makes it that long.

Spring still feels so far away, it’s hard to think that far ahead.

Five looks like shit, and he feels like shit, but he still dares Diego to say anything about it when he arrives downstairs. He walked the first part, then warped the last floor into the kitchen once he got close enough. The air was warmer down here, the heaters worked better on the ground floors, and no one had lived in the upper floors until recently. It was his first winter home, and he almost wonders if it’s worth trying to fix. Might be easier to just move, but he likes his bedroom high above the street. He spent a lot of last summer drinking on his fire escape; it’s familiar in a wildly unfamiliar world.

“Hey,” Diego greets, giving him an appraising look but not saying anything about the fact that Five’s wearing one of his sweaters.

Five nods a greeting before he busies himself pulling a mug from the cupboard and getting a cup of coffee. The pot’s still on and half-full, likely courtesy of Mom, so it’s a short lived distraction. He almost wishes he put something in his coffee so he has an excuse to linger without making it awkward.

“I heard you and Allison got into a fight last night,” Diego says, a hint of sardonics in his voice. “Well, pretty sure the whole block heard.”

Five grimaces behind the rim of his mug, throat too tight to take a sip. It seems he’s always fighting with someone.

“Nothing to say, huh?”

Five’s pretty sure he said enough last night, regardless of how little he even remembers. Might be time to lay off drinking, even as he already wishes for something to put in his coffee. He shrugs his shoulders, throat still tight and getting tighter. It’s almost hard to breathe and his head is pounding.

Diego sighs, sounding exhausted. “Look, I’ve been talking the othe–”

Five doesn’t hear the rest, pulling himself through a tear in space. He stumbles out the other side, managing to set the coffee on his desk before his knees buckle and he topples to the floor. He lays there for a while, wheezing softly and trying to catch his breath. There isn’t much going through his head, besides how grateful he is that he saved his coffee. There was no way in hell he was going down for another.

-

He helps Mom with chores in the evenings, usually after Luther’s gone to bed and the house is painfully silent. She hums while she works, washing the dishes and cleaning up after dinner. Five sits in with her, finishing up any leftover in the pots or pans. He follows her like a ghost back upstairs, and helps her fold laundry. The laundry room is usually pleasantly warm, and Five sometimes dozes off listening to Mom hum, sprawled out on a table.

When she’s finishes with all that, she heads into the library and settles down on a couch someone had moved there in the months following their return. This is a newer part of her routine, one that Five created with his presence and can’t make himself feel bad about. The blanket draped over the back is a deep verdant green and pleasantly soft texture.

Mom settles on one end, picking up a book from the table besides the couch. He’s not sure when she started reading, or if she always did that and he just didn’t remember. For some reason it makes her seem more human. Sometimes she reads heavy tomes of obscure information, sometimes it's children’s fantasy.

Five collapses onto the couch beside her, leaning his weight against her side and sighing in the deepest relief as she wraps her arm around his shoulders. He beyond caring at this point, and Mom’s not one to judge. He rests his body against her’s for a while, breathing with her simulated breath, forcing himself to relax and finding it hard.

He still can’t get himself to stop shaking, and now with an arm around him, his vulnerabilities and hurts come bubbling up like blood from a wound. He can’t pull it in, his hands shake horribly in his lap, and clasping them together just seems to make it look worse.

She never opened her book, and she senses his distress instantly, something he hates and can’t help but be grateful for. She doesn’t ask him what’s wrong, merely pushes the book away and turns toward him to give him her full attention.

It’s too much and he nearly begins to sob. 

She shushes him gently when he swallows it down, one of her hands tracing his cheek before pulling him to rest his face against her. He wraps his arms around her back, clinging to her like a child, like he never had before and feels so stupid to do now. He can’t stop himself, it all hurts so much and he just wants it all to end. This doesn’t make him feel better, but it makes him feel something else beside the horrifying nothing eating at his bones.

She runs a hand through his hair and down the nape of his neck. He feels her hand pause and come back to his kneck, searching for his pulse. He pulls away, both out of confusion, and to allow her more access. Her face is neutral, but she frowns minutely at him before tucking his head against her.

“You’re experiencing heart palpitations,” she says, not at all asking.

He was ignoring up until now, the way his chest was tight and his heart was doing uneven little leaps and lurches. It was hard to get a full breath in, constricting in his throat, too. He nodded against her, swallowing hard when the words refused to come.

“You’re temperature is a little elevated. How are you feeling darling?”

Horrible, he tried to say, but while his mouth worked around the word, his throat spasmed silently.

[markhoffmanstits]

WE DON’T HAVE TO FIX EACH OTHER.

Fandom: Saw/Spiral: From The Book of Saw

Pairing: Spiralshipping // Zeke Banks x William Schenk

Time Taken: Approximately 5 - 6 Hours

Word Count: 3,437

Warnings: Spiral Spoilers, Flashbacks, Fight Scenes, Not Proofread

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

The watch sounding in the quiet room was almost deafening. Dark eyes staring at the wall, blankly. There’s a storm, a flurry, of thoughts going around in the head of the detective.

Zeke turns his head, leaning back in the recliner he’s sat in, his feet kicked up on the coffee table as he stares out the window, now. Something to satisfy his mind, maybe.

Nothing does that, though. Not anymore.

The flurry in his mind is nothing more than memories, coming in quick flashes, sometimes too fast for him to ever process; despite that, he knows exactly what he’s seeing behind his eyelids.

The warm eyes that he had come to see as kind, once upon a time. A familiar voice, though it sounds faint, almost muffled and underwater in his memories.

That horrible texture of the skin under his fingers. Everything is always simple visual and auditory memory, until this moment. The realization of whose skin that was — whose skin that should have been — always brings a new sensation.

That same feeling of raw, fresh fear, mixed with a dreaded sense of misery and hopelessness. Despite their short time together, they seemed to click. Everything was a perfect fit. It all seemed to work.

Zeke raises his hands to his face, immediately placing his palms over his eyes as he grits his teeth.

Why — why must his brain torture him with the constantly replays, the constant want and need to see him? None of this was ethical.

His life was nowhere near normal — nor ethical — anymore. So, why should he care?

The detective stands up, letting out a groan as his back pops. He thinks about it long enough to wonder if he’s really getting that old. He knows he isn’t.

Grabbing his coat, Zeke slips on arm through a sleeve as he grabs his keys off of the table near his door, walking out. He’s not planning on going far, but he carefully secures the door, anyway.

Bounding down the hallway, he manages to fight his right arm into its sleeve, pulling the coat up over his shoulders. It feels looser than usual, no shoulder holster to take up space.

Zeke notes that he feels a bit naked without it, but he’s only going downstairs. He should be fine. William — no, he refuses to think of him by name — that monster should be nowhere near his apartment. He’s not that stupid. Is he?

No, this cat-and-mouse game has gone on for months, reaching a year by the end of the next month. He isn’t anywhere near that stupid.

In his train of thought, Zeke doesn’t realize how fast he’s made it to the lobby, his destination. He slips past a small group of neighbors having a friendly, even joyful, conversation, with a barely muttered “excuse me.”

His keys jingle in his hand as he shakes the keyring, trying to shuffle through them to the key of his mailbox. He manages to select the correct one, fixing his grasp on it between his fingers as he unlocks the mailbox.

Such a simple action puts him on edge. The ‘gifts’ left for him still haunt him. They always will, he thinks, though he hates to imagine it.

Zeke’s breath catches in his throat as he sees a small package in his mailbox. He hasn’t ordered anything. He started to reach for his phone, but what’s he going to do? Call for help?

They’d laugh. Call him paranoid. Tell him that Schenk was gone, moved away, not to be seen or heard from again.

In that moment, Zeke felt completely and utterly alone.

Chest tight, he struggles to take a few breaths, and slowly glances around. It feels as if time is slowed; but just on the other side of the lobby windows, the sun is shining, the cars passing by as if everything is normal.

Zeke wonders for a brief moment if Schenk is inside one of those cars. Maybe he’s inside the white Chevrolet Suburban that just drove westbound, or he could be in that midnight blue Mazda 3 that was going eastbound.

Or maybe he isn’t here at all, right, Zeke?

Why would Schenk be here, again? Why would he be near the one person who saw him for what he is?

A blonde female in the small group of neighbors turns her head to look at the detective, a quizzical look in her bright eyes. She seems to want to ask him if he’s okay, and such a sentiment is enough to snap Zeke out of his thoughts.

He grabs the package, the action too quick for him to talk himself out of it, practically slamming the mailbox shut before pulling his keys out and walking past the group once again.

This time, they fall silent, a few stepping away to give him space. He does brush arms with the blonde, who still looks to him as if she wants to say something, but Zeke runs up the stairs to his floor before she can.

He needs to open this package. Suddenly, it feels as if his life depends on it. He stares at it, noting that there is no return address, no postage stamp or label.

Just a handwritten name;

Detective Banks.

Looking up from the package, Zeke notes that the numbers before him, on the door, are not his apartment, but rather the apartment of his late father, and he ducks away. His feet are moving on their own, down the hall.

Struggling with his keys as he very carefully tucks the package under his left arm, as carefully as someone may handle a live bomb, the detective lets out a frustrated hiss as his keychain slips from his grasp, landing on the floor.

“God damnit-“ He crouches down, reaching for the keychain, but movement spotted out of the corner of his eye catches his attention.

Zeke instinctively jumps up, and he scrambles for his firearm, realizing that it’s not on his person. Again, the feeling of being vulnerable, exposed, is back.

His sidearm is in his apartment. His has no weapon to defend himself, only his fists.

Does he retreat inside his apartment with the package, or does he follow the person he saw?

He debates, knowing that there is no guarantee that what he thought he saw, just out of the corner of his eye, was really there.

After a moment, Zeke picks up his keys, and slowly, stepping very gingerly, walks down the hall, towards the location of the movement. It’s another stairwell, he knows.

He doesn’t realize he’s holding his breath, his grasp on the package under his arm suddenly much tighter, as he steps out to look at the stairwell leading to the next floor.

Nothing. There was no one there.

Zeke wonders if he’s going crazy. Maybe his paranoia, his lack of sleep, and everything else in his life is finally catching up.

He retreats back to his apartment, walking quickly as he finally manages to select his apartment key from his keyring. He slides the key into the lock, turning it and pushing the door open before pulling the key from the lock and shutting the door.

He, once again, is sure to secure the door behind him. His keys are dropped back onto the table, and he picks up his sidearm, holding the pistol in his right hand as he walks to his counter, setting the package down.

Zeke sets his pistol on the counter next to the package, carefully and hesitantly. Maybe this will, quite literally, blow up in his face. Would it be worth it?

In the back of his mind, if this is from Schenk, maybe it would be. Part of him feels as if he’d do anything to hear from that man, at least one more time.

He has the passing thought that he wishes he had taken Schenk up on the offer to be partners. He was going to, before his emotions clouded his judgement.

He grabs the sealed fold-over flap at the top of the packaging, slowly ripping it open. He tenses, pausing mid-tear to feel for any threads, any wires.

Zeke comes to the realization that the package is, likely, not rigged. None of the others had been.

William only wanted to kill the bad cops. He didn’t consider Zeke to be one, and Zeke knew that.

I have been loyal to you since the day we met; fifteen years ago.

… Is this a show of loyalty? To show that William hadn’t forgotten him?

Zeke, once more, grabs the fold-over flap, and completely tears it from the package, spilling the contents out onto the kitchen counter.

His breath catches as a badge falls from the package, skidding across the counter surface, a horrible sound of metal against faux marble.

Has it started again?

Pure fear courses through Zeke’s veins, and he grabs the badge as quickly as he can, raising it to peer at the badge number. It’s not one he’s familiar with, but he memorizes it. He needs to remember it.

He picks up the disc, in it’s own small sleeve, to protect it from scratches during transportation. There’s another handwritten message on the sleeve, though it’s not a name.

Miss me?

Zeke doesn’t notice as a faint, whispered “yes” escapes his lips, carefully removing the disc from the protective sleeve. He feels like a ghost as he walks towards his small, almost pathetic looking, television set.

His footsteps don’t sound out in his mind. He isn’t hearing himself. His feet feel as if he is floating, hovering just barely above the floor. All of this feels surreal.

He’s suddenly hopeful. Hopeful that William has come back for him.

He opens his DVD player, slipping the disc inside and closing it, focusing on the television screen, as it his entire life hinged on what he was shown.

His stomach twisted as the screen came to life, a smiling, thinner build man, dressed in a black coat, with that familiar red hood, seemed to peer at him, unseeing.

“William,” Zeke mutters, and his fingers twitch as if he wants to reach out, but there’s no one to touch, no one to hold. He is alone in this room.

The smile falters, and Zeke notices a hint of sadness in William’s eyes, which would possibly be hidden by the slight distortion of the video, if not for the fact that the man’s shoulders were down, almost as if he were slumping.

“Ezekiel… Zeke.” The video distorts, just a bit, and then clears up. “Oh, how long it has been. You’re still with the department, but they’ve turned their backs on you, even more than before, haven’t they?”

The detective casts his gaze downward, as if avoiding eye contact with a man who isn’t there.

“You’re loyal, you believe you can make a difference from where you are. I know that’s what you’re reaching for. Your goal.”

A small, bitter chuckle resounds from the man on the disc, and the recording once again distorts for a moment.

“I want to play a game, Zeke. I want you to find me. It shouldn’t be too hard. You still stop by the place sometimes, despite the vacancy of it and the memories that follow.”

Zeke’s head perks up, and he immediately stands, rushing to his coatrack to grab his shoulder holster, slipping it on under his coat.

“Come find me, Detective Banks.”

The detective rushes to the door, grabbing his keys and wallet, along with his badge, off of the table in his small makeshift foyer. Nothing can stop him, not now.

He rushes out the door, slamming it shut behind him. When he reaches the stairs, he hops on the railing, sliding down the side of the staircase.

The small group that was previously gathered in the lobby are now dispersed, though Zeke makes little notice of that fact as he exits the building.

Constantine Trains. It has to be that building, right? He stopped revisiting four months after William had vanished. He didn’t see a point in returning, but his trips there, he didn’t doubt that was what William was speaking of in the recording.

Zeke hops in his car, scrambling to put the key in the ignition and start the engine. When he does, he grabs his sunglasses from the overhead visor and slips them on before pulling out of the parking lot, peeling out onto the street as fast as he can.

It only takes a few minutes for Zeke to pull into the empty parking spaces that sit before the butcher shop that was previously known as Constantine Trains. It takes all his strength to not jump out of the running vehicle.

It feels like it takes ages for Zeke to put the vehicle out of gear and into neutral, pulling up the parking brake and shutting off the engine, pulling his keys from the ignition.

He opens the door and climbs out of the car. In his excitement, he never put on his seatbelt. Slamming the door shut, Zeke takes off running into the building, barely conscious of his sidearm hitting his ribs in its holster as he does.

Pulling off his sunglasses and hooking them on his shirt, Zeke rushes to the exact place that brings him so many memories, and so many overwhelming emotions.

Despite the vacancy of it and the memories that follow.

Pulling his pistol from the holster, the detective bursts into the room, and he has almost a wave of deja vu wash over him as he points his pistol in front of him, “Hands up-“ He commands.

But the room is empty.

A wave of disappointment and dread washes over Zeke, and he lets out a frustrated sigh, holstering his firearm before pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration.

Is this really just a game? Is William toying with him? Why?

Didn’t William want to see him, too? The man had looked so sad in the recording, the thought that this all was a game of manipulation never crossed Zeke’s mind, despite knowing William’s true natures.

Hanging his head, Zeke leaves the building, now walking much slower than before. In all his excitement, he now felt let down. Not only did he feel let down, but he felt *embarrassed.*

He takes his time driving back to the apartment complex. There’s no rush this time, no excitement; the feeling of the tires on the asphalt as Zeke drives circles around the city are the only thing keeping his dread at bay.

He doesn’t make it home until eleven o’clock that night, his watch quietly ticking along the hours that he stayed away.

He enters the empty lobby, and then pauses, standing in the doorway as he stares at the mailbox, his eyes narrowing into a squint.

The package. His name, having been handwritten. No address, no shipping information.

Zeke stands straight up, suddenly, and his eyes widen. “Fuck.” He whispers. “You sneaky son of a bitch-“

William couldn’t have shipped the package, not without any postal stamps or addresses. He had to deliver it himself.

He was here.

The memories that follow.

Zeke’s head snaps to look at the staircase. Before he knows it, he’s running up the steps, pulling his pistol from the holster as he finds himself standing in the hallway, staring at the door to his father’s apartment.

Earlier today, he was standing in front of this very door, before he ever opened the package.

So close, and yet so far, this entire time.

William was right under his nose.

Zeke raises his left foot, letting out a grunt as he kicks the door next to the doorframe. He feels the wood immediately give way, and gives it another kick, falling forward into a crouched position as it opens, pointing the pistol into the room.

“William!” The detective shouts, raising an eyebrow. This is it, this should be it. But William isn’t before him. The room is empty, even bare of most furniture, only filled with barebones like the old recliner and loveseat.

Zeke brings himself to an upright position, slowly walking into the room, keeping his sidearm held tight in both hands. He hasn’t been here in months, but he notes the fact that there’s a trash bag in the garbage can near the doorway of the kitchen.

He walks into the living room, scanning the apartment. He goes to take a step, and as his foot hovers over the floorboards, he hears a familiar sound behind him.

Click.

The safety of a gun.

“Hands up, Zeke.”

Panic surges through Zeke’s veins, sent out by every nerve in his body. His urge is to fight, and before he can fight it, he drops his own firearm, turning around and grabbing the barrel of William’s nine millimeter, pointing it up towards the ceiling.

He was a brief moment to note that William’s finger was never on the trigger before the male gives him a sharp kick in the stomach. Zeke falls backwards, gasping for the air that’s been forced from his lungs.

“I don’t want to hurt you, damnit.” William states, and his voice is objective, almost emotionless, but there’s a small frown on his lips as Zeke lunges for him.

The man attempts to step to the side, the detective grabbing the hood of his jacket. A cough escapes William’s throat as Zeke smashes his head into the other’s nose, effectively cracking it to the side and conjuring a cloud of crimson from his nostrils.

“Shit-“ William hisses, hooking his leg behind Zeke’s and pulling back, causing the older to trip and fall backwards, his side hitting the arm of the couch. “Zeke, stop fucking fighting!”

William’s voice is raised, and for a moment they both freeze, staring at each other as they hold their breath. The last thing either of them needed was another resident of the complex hearing the commotion.

For once, the cops arriving here would not be the best idea.

Zeke stares up at William, bringing himself back to an upright position as he watches William wipe his hand under his nose.

The younger is breathing through his mouth, and Zeke realizes that in the struggle, of which William never even wanted, Zeke had broken his nose.

Pulling his sleeve over his hand, William presses the fabric to his bleeding nostrils, peering at Zeke through narrowed eyes.

He manages to let out a grim chuckle despite the pain coming in waves from his broken nose.

“Miss me?” He asks, and Zeke immediately thinks back to the exact words written on the sleeve of the disc.

There’s a moment of silence, and then Zeke approaches the younger man, grabbing William’s arm when he starts to step backwards.

“Don’t move, idiot.” Zeke says, grabbing the bridge of William’s nose. A small yelp escapes William’s lips as the detective snaps his nose back into place, but the rush of air to his lungs through his nostrils is something he’s thankful for.

The silence is awkward, but also somewhat comforting, after so long apart, not knowing what happened to the other.

When Zeke lets him go, William goes to the kitchen and walks back out with a wet washcloth, wiping the drying blood off of his face.

When William enters the room, he notes Zeke sitting on the recliner, leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. He peers up at William, who smiles at him, now as warm as it was when they first met.

“So, partner, where should we start?”

“Before we start, we need to talk.” Zeke says, in a hushed tone, as if he’s hesitant. This makes the younger tilt his head, and he walks over to the recliner, perching a seat on the arm.

“What’s on your mind, Zeke? Do you not want to do this?” William asks, a tone of apprehension in his voice.

Zeke shakes his head, and wraps an arm around William’s waist, conjuring a yelp from him as he’s pulled down from the recliner’s arm and into Zeke’s lap.

“I just think we should do this first.” Zeke says, his free hand gently grasping William’s chin before leaning in, barely brushing their lips together.

The action is a shock, a surprise, and William almost melts like butter in the elder’s grasp, one hand landing on Zeke’s chest as the other grasps the arm holding his chin.

Zeke lets out a hum as they pull away from each other, his stomach flipping a little.

So much for ethics.

“So, who’s first?”

[inshelliesworld]

Buckle up. This is long.

Last night after dinner w/my fam I watched the SAG awards so I am a little behind on the conversation around the Chris Evans Clown Show Comedy Hour. However I read a couple of asks received by @nancydrewwouldnever about how he’s been looking like the Raggedy Andy version of his normal self these past few months and I couldn’t agree more.

I thought so watching the SMA videos People put out.

Back during my more naïve days, I just thought he was possibly exhausted and that could very well still be true. But after the rabbit hole I’ve been down for the past couple of months, I am of the opinion he's exhausted for a different reason than work requirements. Which is just that – my opinion: observation mixed with speculation.

I don’t think this RS – if it is rooted in PR like I think it is – was ever intended to last this long. From what I have gathered, the Netflix show and movie for which AB would have benefited the most having a lot of attention were originally supposed to both release in the first half of 2022. One or both were delayed, the show being very delayed -from first/second quarter all the way to the last quarter of the year. So not only did she lose out on a bump for the movie, but by the time her show finally launched it pretty much had already been axed by NF. So when Mr. SMA 2022 does the CP Marathon (horribly) with her, the only project she has going on at the time is hanging by a thread.

That's her fault for being lazy and entitled. A million golden opportunities were missed by her/her team, but I feel like Chris wasn’t going to sell anything very well anyway, as he likely was being pissy about this situationshit lasting so long. Which led me to thinking that “laser focus” press question was a plant to tie back to the earlier article BUT made me think it could possibly have been contrived as a way to signify the end of their "RS" had it gone to plan. The question would allow room for him to insinuate he was single again and “focused on finding the right partner” to “pour himself into” bc “awe, shucks, I’m just so unlucky in love…” 💀

BUT THAT CAN’T HAPPEN… he can’t signal the end of something that hasn’t yet been announced. So it looked to the viewer, and especially his fandom, that he was signaling his singlehood – and for his fans, to debunk the rumors flying around about his Lolita. NOW he has to stutter around and trap himself in word prisons and go take a quick pap sprint the same time as SMA announcement bc that’s when the show drops and do more photos and BS to sell the OVER year-long narrative when they were really prepped to do a 9ish-mos storyline. All the OG pics and scares (IMO) that were preemptively shot not only look slightly better but they also would have fit in with starting the RS storyline Fall 2021 and, if nothing would have been delayed, the end falling somewhere Summer 2022.

I think this is why he does such a shit job selling it. He struggles to sell intimacy anyway, but he’s not even giving it the ole college try bc he’s pissed off that it’s taken more time than he expected and dragging his feet. I mean…. All these rumors about the same chick for months HAS to have a negative impact on his harem, right?? 😂 Now she’s pissed that he’s dragging his feet – or maybe she wanted it to turn into more than what it is and he’s noped the fuck out – so she throws a hissy fit with the yoga cert mess, her mom’s pic, and her OF shower pictorial.  

It's possible had this not dragged along for this long, all the dirt that has surfaced RE: her and her sOuLMaTes being racist, antisemetic, fat phobic, basically all around horrendous ppl that has TANKED his image and lost him a good portion of his fandom would have maybe not surfaced. The mess would have been announced, been annoying, and been over before anyone cared enough to dig that much - or at least make that big of a deal about it, bc he would have been rid of her. I know that this dumpster fire mimics SS a lot but I think that Chris agreeing to a much shorter version in the beginning is why there are SO MANY pictures all at once. He probs didn't want to do this for the 2 years or whatever that SS committed to.

I think he has thrown his own tantrum of “I ain’t doin this shit anymore” and has left it to someone else to handle which is why he is AWOL from everywhere, including going out to dinner with his friend/castmates, and not doing his own SM anymore (I personally don’t think he’s posting anything at all right now himself). Seems he’s also made sure that he/his team control the mass narrative to the GP.

I think they’re riding this shit show out until the end, letting their teams do whatever they need to do. Even if she has the DESIRE to show up for anything like the Twitter reading (was she even invited? Was she wanted by her castmates/showrunners? Hollywood is show BUSINESS afterall so even if she wasn’t wanted she would be expected to show up to make good on production companies’ investments & save face?) the situations aren’t really going to be great for her. There would be – and SHOULD BE – backlash involving the discriminatory posts, which she obvs has no intentions of denouncing. IMO she should have done it anyway for her fans, but her not doing it goes a long way to prove her entitlement, lazy ass attitude, and ungratefulness. But from the looks of  those Star Power reports from IMDB that someone shared, it’s not her that’s hurting… it’s HIM. 🤡

He’s suffering greatly, which is also deserved, and he very likely knows it. It has taken a noticeable toll on his looks, his presence, his gait, and his energy. He looks like a shell of his former self bc he is. And he’s seemingly off licking his wounds until he can start his Chris Evans Redemption Tour.

I would like to put it out into the universe that my birthday is next month and it falls within their usual “drop” timeframe so it would be a fantastic birthday gift if March’s bomb was the BUA.            

[reviewdiaries]

Nancy x Ace and the case of emotional intimacy in 4x02

The writers are on fire this season, no seriously, they ate a bunch of the unhinged wants from the Nancy Drew fandom and said ‘here, it’s the final season, feast on this!’ Part of me wondered if they would keep the proverbial foot on the gas after that truly what even oh my god final scene of episode one, but oh boy they really came out swinging for episode two.

You know the drill, I get rambly, more beneath the cut.

The tension throughout this episode between Ace and Nancy is absolutely delicious. Whilst I would love to know how that confrontation at Icarus Hall ended, I really love how they open 4x02. Ace isn’t letting Nancy off that easily, not after finally cracking open this slice of honesty at last. He hasn’t physically pushed in again, not since that step back when Nancy told him they were cursed, and it’s a direct contrast to 4x01 how hands off he is in this episode. He doesn’t invade her personal space, he’s restraining himself so hard in the first few scenes not to reach out to her, he knows that having opened the door to this conversation and Nancy’s fears about the curse it would be too easy for her to shut down again, shut him out and refuse to be anywhere near him. He’s having to walk a tightrope of managing his own feelings and trying to get more information and not pushing in the wrong way and losing Nancy completely. 

GIF Credit @whitefluffyyeti

He’s hurt, he’s angry, he wants to scream at the world that he’s finally found out that Nancy loves him and he can’t do anything about it. The physical barrier of the table in this opening scene is a really delightful framing option. They’re talking (sort of) finally, but it’s not a fully open conversation yet, there’s a barrier (literally) blocking them from reaching an understanding. 

GIF Credit @whitefluffyyeti

Ace is desperate - for information, for understanding, for Nancy to stop shutting him out and actually tell him what she knows. He’s had this dumped on him barely twelve hours ago and is still processing. Nancy, meanwhile, has had weeks to work through her feelings and has made a decision for her, without the acknowledgement that it’s more than her in this. Nancy has been blinded by fear to the fact that this cannot just be her choice. They’re a team, they’re a unit, no matter that they cannot be physically close to each other, but they’ve forgotten that in amongst the fear and the anger and they’re not working effectively together.

That’s a running theme throughout - they’re together for a lot of the episode, but not actually working as a team. It’s mostly Bro!Nancy pushing, belittling, ripping those around her down, but after enough sniping Ace starts to give it back. Never enough to hurt Nancy, but enough to rile her, to let her know that he isn’t just going to lie down and take whatever she feels like throwing at him. He’s had weeks of not having her, barely even seeing her, and now suddenly he has all of this new information to work through and it’s not even really Nancy anymore, it’s some Bro version of her and god he just wants his friend back and it hurts.

GIF Credit  @hucklebucket

You see him fading back further and further from the group, not wanting to even engage with her whilst she’s like this, because this isn’t his Nancy, sure he still loves her, but he doesn’t particularly like her right now. What starts out as just Dudebro humour quickly degenerates into verbal and physical abuse and at every turn Ace works to hide his hurt from her, to not let it affect him, to protect Nancy even when she’s trying to kill him.

The tipping point is at the hospital where she accuses him of flirting with the nurse - you can watch him shut down and disengage before walking away. Ace will do a lot for Nancy, Ace would die for Nancy, but this isn’t her. This is some horrible warped version of her and he’s not going to sit around and let her abuse him like this.

He doesn’t want anything from this version of Nancy. Even when she offers to tell him about the time they did get together you can see a flicker, a moment where he files that piece of information away for later because this is new, this is something that he wasn’t aware of, this adds layers and context and confusion to what Nancy has been dancing around all this time, because how could they have had time together? But he doesn’t want to know now, he doesn’t want this Nancy to be the one to tell him, bartering the information away to make him like her again. He wants his Nancy to tell him, he wants it to be a conversation, not bargaining chips and one upmanship.

When she starts trying to physically hurt him he backs away, at no point does he go on the offensive or try to really overpower her. 

GIF Credit  @hypermania

He just tries to get her somewhere where she can’t hurt him or herself. But even when she’s slightly more in control of herself and the first thing she does is apologise to him he still doesn’t engage with her. Doesn’t come down to her level. He hangs back, because this is worse than when she wasn’t spending time with him, this is something twisted and he hates how it makes him feel like he’s the one that swallowed poison. 

That shifts when she vomits. As soon as she’s unwell he can’t help himself, he moves in to check she’s ok, to be there for her. Because there’s a lot of hurt that it’s going to take him a while to move past, but now at least it’s his Nancy back again, and he needs to be close to her - two magnets impossible to keep apart. But he doesn’t talk to her, he’s still angry, still hurt, and yes she’s apologised but it’s not enough to soothe everything else about this god awful day. He uses the others to stay away from her, physically putting distance between them even though Nancy is back to not being able to keep her eyes from him. This will take more than an I’m sorry. This needs honesty, openness, time for the two of them to reforge a connection. They go off together to finish the case, to get closure and a confession from Logan, Ace throwing himself into his role. The car rider over there silent and awkward - this isn’t the time, Nancy is still head half in the case even as she keeps sliding glances to Ace to gauge whether he’s ready to listen, ready to talk, ready to let her back in again.

There’s been a lot of hypothesising about the curse, the parameters of it, and the fact that this forces Nancy to actually communicate for the first time with someone she loves. It’s something she’s been slowly learning to do with those around her, but it hasn’t filtered through into her romantic relationships. Every other relationship we’ve seen her avoid and deflect and outright refuse to engage, but suddenly that’s no longer an option. Her options here are1)  to not engage with Ace, which she tries with varying degrees of success throughout these two episodes, or 2) to actually talk to him and communicate openly. That last scene between them is the most open and vulnerable we’ve ever seen them in reality, and it shows how much growth Nancy has gone through over the course of the show that she now is able to actually talk to Ace and tell him these intimate details.

When she shows up at his door, he doesn’t really react to her joke (yes that’s the jar Bro!Nancy failed to open earlier) and physically flinches away from her as she moves into the apartment. He’s halfway to kicking her out when she finally (finally) begins to talk, to explain how she’s felt all day, and the understanding that not being able to access her own emotions has brought her. She doesn’t get to decide what Ace can and cannot know about this curse. It’s as much his as hers, arguably more his because it’s his life on the line. And yes Nancy has been so hurt and damaged by the other timeline that she’s trying to protect and shut down, but it’s not only her in this and at last she understands that.

At last she offers to tell him everything, and this is his Nancy and his space and it’s the diametric opposite to the night before. It’s light and he can see her and the night before he was filled with need and want and righteous demands for answers. Now it’s quieter, wanting to be with her to understand, to sit with her and talk. Because yes the physical aspects of a relationship are important, but part of what he’s been denied (to both of them over the last few weeks) is the connection and communication. The understanding, the raw truth, stripped back to the essence of each of them. And the relief on his face as Nancy talks to him, as she finally lets him in. The tension drains away and it is a real and palpable thing. There’s still that careful careful distance between them, because now at last Ace understands the need for no physical intimacy, but there is emotional intimacy instead. Hands carefully kept to themselves, eye contact, raw grief and tears. 

GIF Credit  @princessclarke

And Ace acknowledges her pain, they both finally reach a place of understanding for the other. Gone are the demands, the pushes, the refusal to back down. Now is a quieter comfort, a gentle humour, a slow breath out to release the tension. The relief of a wound finally cleansed, of being able to ask Nancy about what happened between them and hear about the good stuff, not just the grief and trauma. Because sure it’s important to talk about that, but they deserve the gentle kindness, the good, the slow slide of waking up and telling him that he smiles in his sleep.

GIF Credit @princessclarke

Nancy is a schoolgirl in love, desperate to talk about her crush. And what a way to talk about it, to actually be able to speak about the things that happened between the two of you with the person they happened with. To be able to use a shorthand that you both understand. To finally fall back and just stare at each other, drink the other in, bask in the closeness that could never have been achieved before the curse. Not like this, not without the physical closeness entwining with it.

GIF Credit  @princessclarke

And that final shot, the framing of the two of them on the two different colours of bedspread. This is the start of something new. This is lancing the infected wound and allowing them to heal. This is hope. Ace is calm and still for the first time, content just to watch, and Nancy’s chest is tight with the wanting and this beautiful blossoming hopeful thing.

GIF Credit  @nacesource

This is finally being on the same page and wanting to try. Because that’s all Ace has been begging for throughout the day, the chance to try. And all Nancy has refused to allow herself the option to hope. This is the start of something beautiful. It won’t all be magically fixed, there’s still going to be heartache and grief and bumps along the way. But this is where it starts, a glorious night spent talking until they fall asleep, baring their souls for the other to finally see fully.

[soullessjack]

i feel like so many facets in jack’s character that are narratively supposed to attribute to his internal conflict have been woobified and infantilized so extensively that nobody can even register them as actual struggles—like the entire thing about his age vs his life experience. on a physical/mental/emotional level jack is developed to his early 20’s and has all the capabilities of a young 20-something year old, but because he hasn’t actually lived through 20-something years and lacks the experience necessary to having good judgment and a good understanding of how to respond/react appropriately.

and the thing is, jack did choose to be an adult, but had no way of knowing that he’d have to deal with all of this as a result of that. he made his decision on the basis that the world was too dangerous for him to be younger, but Kelly likely never made him feel as if he would potentially be dangerous because of his powers. like I’ve said before, jack is almost entirely unaware that they aren’t a normal human for the entire first episode up until Dean tells the sheriff they’re a nephil. all they knew is that they heard voices and got freaked out and that “things” (sheriff barker getting launched into the vending machine) happened when they got freaked out.

adding onto this, another facet of Jack’s character is wanting to prove his worth or capabilities to others. he wants to be part of the team and be strong enough to protect people, all of which ties into his core desire to be Good and Safe and prove that to the guys, and he expresses extreme frustration and anger at himself when he naively trusts the wrong person (asmodeus, duma), misjudges a situation or overreacts in a way that harms someone else (the tombstone security guard, the Gas’n’Sip employee) because it outwardly proves to his father figures that he isn’t good or safe or worth their love+effort, and while the basis for Jack’s character and conflict is Nature vs Nurture, it also revolves around a struggle for autonomy—particularly his struggle to be more than what his own existence even allows him to be, and I think that’s the thing people horribly misunderstand or purposely ignore about jack and this particular struggle.

it’s not about jack wanting to be a normal kid (he actually very much just wants to be a normal teenager). it’s about the fact that jack has a limited life experience which clouds his judgement, lends to his naivety, and leads him to making the wrong choices and react inappropriately and hurt people without meaning to and further playing into why everyone is afraid of him. it’s about the fact that jack wants to be good and safe and strong and protect others (which are both already conflicting idealizations), and he’s angry when when the factors of his existence lead him to fucking up and registering him as a threat when he very adamantly doesn’t want to be a threat.

jack doesn’t want to be a normal child and none of their problems would disappear if he was one. they want to be capable of having self control and protecting the people they care about (re:, “what’s the point of having these powers if I can’t use them to help the people I care about? it’s selfish of me not to”), and he wants to have better judgement to understand what the right thing is in a situation and make the appropriate choice/reaction. the horror lies in the fact that he inherently does not have any of that. because of Jack’s naivety, he doesn’t have good judgment and he is incredibly dangerous regardless of the effort he puts into being safe, and frankly it’s weird to infantilize that particular aspect of his character (and every aspect, but this especially) the way this fandom has

[originalwinnercheesecake]

The Owl House Watching and Dreaming Analysis. (Spoilers)

Its over. Its been around 3 years and now its over. Well like Luz says its time for a new chapter now. The majority of my tag is posts about the owl house, and now I have to find a new thing to post on. I like Molly Magee, but so far not enough to spend hours typing out analysis and theories. I got into Ducktales 2 years late and, it has me going through Disney plus to find more shows about the wacky highjinks of the duck family, so if that corner of the Disney fandom is still alive maybe I will pop in their from time to time. I also happen to like a few live action shows.

But before that I want to close out the owl house with 1 (possibly a coupe more posts). This one is my recount and review of the Owl Houses final episode, and will focus on the families and connections at the end, as I feel they were the most important part of the episode, Warning long post and spoilers below.

I will start off with talking about Meeting Kings father and what we learned about Titans. We have comfirmation now that Titans do not have spouces/mates and reproduce Asexually. King’s dad did not object to being refered to as Dad, but was term wise both his dad and mom. Two things: 1 does this mean King (who doesn’t need labels right now because he is only 8) will grow up to be aroace, like Lilith? 2 this is confirmation that he will still be able to become a parent 1 day, which I am glad about, because we know he will outlive Eda, Lilith, and Luz and this way we know he will still be able to have a family again after they pass on. Also we now have confirmation that the baby titan skulls in the trapers room were kings brothers and sisters. Were the Full grown ones his oldest siblings or were they his dad’s siblings. Also the owl beast. I knew it...they? Were a titan, and that were were probably the last living one Bill mentioned since king as an egg couldn’t cry or run, and was still being hidden. At first I thought they might be his parent, but it looks like they are actually either his older sibling or his aunt/uncle... They are still inside his mom and aunt, so they are a part of his life.

So now on to King’s Dad as a parent. Because the Titans heart was still beating he actually was not completely gone. His spirit was alive in the in between realms and was watching over King, is shown to be delighted that his son found such a nice family to raise him, and is confirmed to have had a bit of a hand guiding Luz in how quickly she learned glyphs and wild magic. This all feels like methaphors for Heaven and Guardian Angels. I do not know what Dana belives or if she belives in anything. She certainly hasn’t been shy about making metaphors to the bad parts of religon/christianity. But i am glad she also made these refrences loving and positive. They can be comforting to those that have lost loved ones.

Now on to the Collector. First the older collectors aren’t his gaurdians, they are his older siblings. From their point of view the war between titans and collectors was just them being mean and breaking their baby brothers toys. Okay, they are jerks, and it was a horrible thing to do, but okay the show didn’t go full on SU diamonds parasitic route. This makes me feel a bit better about how our collectors arc ended. King’s family and He forgave each other and are good friends, the collector is confirmed to come visit them from time to time, but he went back to the Star’s to finish growing up. His siblings better feel bad about him having been stuck in thousand year time out because of them, and better leave his new friends alone now. Him going back was one of the three options I felt were possible and while not perfect I genuienly do think it was the best one. The collector was ultimelty to powerful to live on the isles full time without hurting someone, and with all the repairs and rebuilding needed to be done Eda and Raine did not have the time needed to watch him as much as he needed.

No lets go on To Luz. She moved back to the Human realm to live with her mother and sister, and graduate from earth school in graves field. It also looks like Camila was able to eventually forge the documents needed to adopt Vee in the human realm and send her to school with Luz. But we can see that a permenent portal was opened at the old house (how can Camila afford two houses on her single parent vetenairy income? Did she pay in snails and the seller think she had gold?). Luz, Camilia, and eventually Vee (wonder how long that took) made visitations to the demon realm. Luz had the option to chose which realm she wanted to live in once she grew up. It also looks like Eda got upgraded from being Luz’s temporary host parent to being like a God mothe rto her. Camila will always be Luz’s real mother, but Eda still getting to stay in their lives as support is for the best. Camilia and Luz went through so much when Manny died and they were struggling to deal with it by themsleves. I said in an earlier post that I believe the owl house to ultimately be about finding a community that is suportive of you. Camila, Luz, and Vee did not have that before, but they do now.

Now on to Hunter. So the final hints very strongly that he was adopted by Darius, not Camila, and not Eda (who FYI had no positive interactions with Hunter and should not have been considered as heavily as she was by fans). This again makes the most sense. While watchig Thanks to them when Hunter is mentioned to be happy and doing well in the human world I was like “Alright the story still works great if Hunter becomes Hunter Noceda. Darius can just be a mentor to him if he goes back to the iles in summers”. But then when he described the life he wanted at the end of the episode I was confused because everything he said was things he could only do in the demon realm. He wanted to go back perminently. I doubt Camila will ever want to fully live in the demon realm, Luz did probably need to live in both worlds until she was an adult to fully make a fair choice, and you know it took months/years for Vee to step foot there. I still hope Camila got to be Hunters God mom or was in his life as a surogate Aunt. Hey Darius and Eberwolf are implied to have become like Police officers, dedicated to stoping suporters of Belos’s system fromt trying to reinstate it. It thoretically could have been possible that they would be away for stretches and Hunter would need another adult to stay with some of the time.

Reminder of what Darius and Hunter’s relationship was like since a lot of it had to develop off screen. Darius and Hunter are strongly hinted to have started spending more time together post ASIAS, by Hollow Minds Darius had grown so fond of Hunter that he was ready to abort his cover to help him. When Hunter ran away from the EC Darius is confirmed to have tracked him down to ensure he was safe, and Hunter was comfortable leaving his hiding place to go on a mission Darius gave him (protect Luz while she went to break Amity out of the manor). Hunter was very worried/scared when he saw Darius on the stage at the Day of Unity. Also while Hunter did not put Darius’s picture on the wall he started sewing every piece of fabric he could find in the Noceda’s basement and would talk about how this was something he practiced with Darius. So he clearly missed him, but I do not think he realized how much Darius and Eberwolf missed HIM until they came looking for him after waking up. On the subject of Eberwolf and Hunter, I have seen the headcannon that Eberwolf calls Hunter pup/cub but can we as a fandom please come up with a term Hunter uses for Eberwolf. there is no way they call each other “Uncle” and “Nephew”. Those are definitly trigger word for Hunter.

Also the Blue bird Palisman Hunter eventually carved himself. I am glad its a bird, because Hunter had Palisman as therapy/support animals and birds were the animal he was most comfortable with. I want to name his new bird Bananas. Since Bananas, like Flapjacks, were a human food he was unfirmilar with in the demon realm. I am also so glad that show let him grieve Flapjack and take his time before getting a new palisman. Flapjack was Hunters biggest support during his darkest time and I was so afraid that they would trivialize his lose due to the shortened season. But no not only did they give him a grave that got visitited, not only did Hunter get a tattoo of Flapjack, but so did Willow and Luz, maybe Gus and Amity as well. Flapjack was so loved and so missed, as he should be.

 On to Alador x Darius. I ship the couple but I am so glad how it was handled, with them basically being confirmed to not get together for another 3-4 years. As cute as their dynamic is, it would have been extstreamly problamatic for them to get together soon after the battle with Belos. Alador was just getting out of a long, abusive, marriage. While we do not get a chance to fully explore Darius’s character and what caused him to close himself off from his old friends, we know he was working through some things and closing a chapter on a mission that had been a big focus f his life. Not to mention that both men had teenagrs who had been tramatized and needed/deserved to be their dad’s full focus for the time being. So for that I am glad we did not get the Blight-Deammone step family.

One kinda nice twist was that Alador decided he wanted to build medical machines and Emira was the child that ended up working with him. Emira was the child who seemed to have the least in common with Alador so I liked that they eventualy had something they could do together. A stranger surprise was Amity and Lilith’s reunion, and the strong hints that they started working together again and bonded. Dana dropped them being Mentor and protage like a hot potato after Covention day and was quick to post that they were never close/did not like each other when asked. So its kinda strange that she suddenly had them start caring and tried to portray Lilith as a strong female figure in Amity’s life after her seperating completely from Odalia. This is the big thing I feel should have been either explored more or dropped.

Lastly reagrding the end credits; I am upset that for how many clips we saw of both Steve and Matt towards the end we did not get a single on of them reuniting or together. Come on Show Why. That said I love the jobs they were shown to have afterwards. I expected Steve to maybe get an internship/assistant job at the museum with Lilith, since they were such good friends. Seeing him, still friends with Lilith, but also with the Catt’s and working to rehabilitate other coven scouts was so much better. And finding out that Matt became a hotshot architectural designer on the isles is just perfect. Also I spent 3/4ths of the End credits going “Where is Gus. Do not leave him out of this time jump”. Then I find out he graduated early and was teaching students about the human realm at Eda, Raine, and Lilith’s new university. The little genius. They’re is no confirmation that he and Matt ever got together, but Oh well. Maybe they did and are just not into PDA? maybe did and broke up/were on a break? Maybe they only ever stayed friends? It was my second favorite ship (besides Lumity) but if it didn’t happen that’s okay.

All in All this was the owl house final. It was exciting, intense, it tied up lose ends,and gave our charcters ends that while not perfect, where the best they could have been. Good job Dana. Good Job Owl House Crew. Thank you for the show. Its helped me a lot with getting through the past 3 years.

[chaosbutautism]

Why I think the ‘Lucky Guy Isn’t real’ theory would be bad if it was true

Lucky Guy, we all know him, but actually, we don’t. There is so little information about him, the main theory in the fandom is that he’s just a placeholder for a different person. But…why?

Now, I’m not calling the theory itself bad. It’s a logical conclusion to make when you’re faced with the info we have. I just think that, if Netease is actually going this route, there is a lot of wasted potential. Plus, they did a horrible job at it.

Evidence for this theory includes: his subtitle being ‘Deduction Substitute’, the ‘I’m me, and everyone of you.’ quote, the vagueness of his rumor ‘We don’t know how many people have taken apart in this game; we know that he played the game.’ and the general lack of information we’ve been given on him.

These do point to the idea that Lucky Guy is just a figment of Orpheus’s imagination, a placeholder for a real person…but why this guy? Look at his design, it doesn’t fit with any of the other characters. If he’s, if the theory is right, supposed to be a placeholder character, why is his design so out of place? How did Orpheus come up with this modern-looking guy? You could say ‘Well, Netease didn’t have enough time or resources to make a new character, so they just used an old one!’ But Netease is known for their attention to detail in both characters and skins. Also, why would a placeholder character have such a distinctive appearance? Did Orpheus just…make up a person on the spot? This person, who looks nothing like any other character? It would be so much more logical to make a simple, completely blank model, one that could resemble Tracy’s bot. It would be low on resources without breaking the feel of the game. If Lucky is purely here to serve as a placeholder, he’s doing a bad job at it.

Also, a placeholder to what? That note was mentioned once, only to be completely dropped and never mentioned again. Like, come on. You could, again from a non-lore perspective, argue that they needed a completely blank, skill-less character for the tutorial, but Netease was completely fine with using Leo, a hunter with his own skill set, as the tutorial for hunters. If that page was purely a plot device for the tutorial, why didn’t we go for an actual character’s diary, like one of the other veterans, immediately. Why did they make a cutscene with another character we never see again when we could’ve gone over the first game’s story, or at least just a simple tutorial sequence using Emma, the face of the game, instead? If a placeholder was not needed, why use it?

Now, after showing that the whole placeholder shenanigans weren’t even that needed for both a lore and a gameplay perspective, I’m going to talk about the actual meat of this rant/ theory combination. Why it would actually suck if Lucky Guy was just a placeholder.

First, details and info that directly contradict the narrative that Lucky is not real; he has a birthday, there’s a description on the site ‘His world is like a slot machine that he always wins; but what will happen if he stops playing?’, he has listed likes and dislikes and there are snippets from quizzes that dig into his personality while Netease hasn’t had a problem with leaving him out of other things like birthday letters.

And for my main argument: why it would be bad, narrative-wise, to just leave this character to rot.

His design looking modern compared to other characters could give us a plot with time travel, which would reawaken the more mystical and grim magic elements of the story. In the games, where things happen which are not explainable with science, this would actually be a good element to see. Fiona’s, Eli’s, Hastur’s, Yidhra’s, Patricia’s and potentially Arthur Byers’ stories already show the more magical elements of the story and how they compliment the world of identity V, time travel would be a very interesting plot point to explore.

An alternate idea, often used by fan-writers of the game, is that Lucky has been in the games longer than others, maybe even competing in multiple rounds. This could give leeway to explore the nature of the game, something we’re narrative-wise creeping up on. Netease could give us more information on the actual nature of the game. Again, with multiple gods, multiple dead people, characters with magical abilities and prizes that oftentimes seem to good to be true, there must be some magical elements to the game. There are also hints that the games are used as trial grounds for testing of some kind, with every participant being given some kind of code. This could be something Lucky Guy dives into as well.

And what if Lucky Guy doesn’t remember anything about his life before the manor. Amnesia is a commonly used trope for Lucky Guy in fanworks about him. If Lucky Guy doesn’t even know why he’s in the manor or for what prize he’s fighting for, he could give a truly interesting look at what the games feel like for someone who doesn’t have a goal. He would just be a lost person, no identity to call his own, just trying to survive the best he can. This could be an amazing perspective on the manor game he’s in now, since he’d have to focus on the people around him and adapt accordingly.

He could also be a puppet to the manor. A helping hand to Miss Nightingale for running the affairs of the game. This ‘traitor’ idea could be a really good plot point for the game. While still keeping him as not real, he now has a much more interesting role which could be used to make a truly dark story around one of the cannon games.

And last but certainly not least, they could give their technically first character ever the same respect as every.single.other character in the game and just give him a backstory. Not every story has to be connected to the manor itself, there are plenty of characters that were not connected to the manor in any way, shape or form before their game. All characters have a story, survivors and hunters alike. If they are not their own person, they are a part of a different character’s identity, used to propel their story forward. Why would what arguably is the starting point of Identity V as a whole be exempt from this? It’s no fun to have a character with nothing in a game specifically known for its interesting characters and wild stories. Even if it’s a bit of a late start, Netease, you have the foundations. Through quotes, introductions and snippets, you have a base. It’s not too late to give a character that is rotting both in lore and in gameplay a bit of use. Every single detail can be useful of storytelling, a big corporation probably doesn’t need a teenager to tell them that. Why would you let as big of an opportunity as a full character pass by? There is so much that can happen by adding an extra character to a story, especially one that has potential, as I have shown in both my own writing and this mini-essay written out of pure passion for a character. It’s never too late to pick up an old project and work on it again. Who knows, maybe you’ll make a masterpiece?

As a more personal, opinionated reason of why this post has this title; I think letting a full-on character go to waste is, well, wasteful. There’s so much potential in this character, especially since Lucky, right now, is still empty. That old diary page could be turned into a full-on book, that face with no name could be turned into the pillar of a story. You already have framework, the fact that he’s coming in later can now actually help focus on where there’s more expansion needed. He could be a perspective we haven’t gotten yet. A confused, lost guy who’s slowly figuring out what’s going on, not being blinded by the race to the prize, a pawn for the puppet master of the game to set in and pull something wild, someone who’s tired of the fighting, trapped inside a hellscape for far too long, someone with the knowledge of times not yet past, able to give insight to things others can’t have yet, a person with his own desire, trusting on his luck to keep him safe or even something entirely different. There’s so much more that you could do with this character than just an old placeholder with questionable logic behind it that wasn’t even needed in the grand scheme of things. You have a character, Netease, do something with it.

[heronpoxed]

I decided to re-watch SOA, idk why because I know how painful it will be lol. Anyways, I loved tara when I first watched the show and I love her now. I truly do not understand the hate she gets. I have my own theories on why she get's so much hate, but I'm wondering what your take on it is. I find it especially disgusting the hate she gets from many women in this fandom. They seem to hate tara yet give a free pass to all the horrible things most of the men on this show did, its wild lol

hii<33 i’m so happy you deemed me worthy enough to ask for my opinion on this topic lol

First off, don’t be hard on yourself for rewatching SOA. God knows I’ve rewatched it way too many times even though it always results in my anxiety and unease.

Anyway, I truly believe that i’m gonna get k!lled for this but still, buckle up we have much to discuss. Honestly, this is gonna be a long one.

SPOILERS for anyone who hasn’t seen the show till the end!

There are many reasons why people hate Tara and I’m sure you notice most - if not all - of them but at the end of the day it all comes down to misogyny, internalized misogyny and favoritism. As you said, they excuse every horrible thing that men do because it’s a men-centered show with very attractive male characters. Trust me, if Charlie was not conventionally attractive everyone would’ve hated Jax lol and it’d be absolutely laughable if anyone said otherwise.

It shouldn’t come as news to anyone how sexist and misogynistic most of the SOA fandom is. I’ve talked about this before and say it again that the fans of this show (especially women) are so quick to put blame on female character’s horrible behavior for the shit that male characters build the foundation for. For example, as much as I dislike both Ima and Colette it wasn’t exactly their fault that they were so present in the club life. It wasn’t as if both Jax and Opie hadn’t been more than willing to sleep with Ima. They both let her be a part of SAMCRO, which as a result affected their families. And then seeing both these men treat Ima like shit and even get physically violent with her was fucking awful to watch because they were the ones who had done the damage in the first place. Same goes for the Colette situation. Jax was the one who allowed her to sleep with him yet the fandom is calling her a wh*re. As if sex doesn’t happen among multiple people.

Disgusting and frustrating as hell!

People hate Tara for numerous reasons:

- they think she’s annoying

- they think she’s indecisive

- they hate that a wife tried to take the sons away from a father

- they think her methods were questionable

- ‘she had an out and she didn’t take it and now reprimands Jax for it’

- they think she never cared about Jax and didn’t love him as much.

- ‘she betrayed him’

- she knew what she was signing up for when she decided to date Jax

- she doesn’t own up to her mistakes.

- some of them actually hate her because they don’t see chemistry between Maggie and Charlie which blows my mind. You may think that a couple lacks chemistry but hating a female lead for it is a bit extreme, not to mention utterly misogynistic.

To me, Tara’s only crime was her hair in season 6 lol but on a more objective note:

Y’all see selfishness and betrayal while what I see is Tara prioritizing and choosing Jax over and over again because she’s holding onto the promises that Jax made to her (that he ultimately kept breaking), the idea of having a peaceful family and onto the bond that they had when they first fell in love (she says as much in 6x13). Anyone who says that Tara was selfish and never cared for or deserved Jax is completely out of line because if anything, Tara loved and valued Jax more that he ever did her (see: constant infidelity). The answer to why Tara didn’t leave until the last possible minute is simple: she loved him.

People also seem to ignore the fact that leaving Charming and giving their children a peaceful life was what both Tara and Jax wanted. The guy literally gave his baby up to some strangers FFS even after everything that he and SAMCRO went through to finally track Abel down (one of the saddest scenes on the show, mind you). Taking one look at Abel’s adoptive parents was enough for Jax to know that his life would only be harmful for the baby. I don’t see anyone reprimand Jax for that?!?! If it weren’t for Gemma’s non-stop gnawing and Opie’s death, he wouldn’t have lost sense of what he wanted since the fist episode(!!) - to give his kids a better life.

People accuse Tara of being ‘indecisive,’ saying that she willingly turned down an out when she had it etc. well let me ask you this: and Jax wasn’t?!?! It literally goes both ways. I could write a whole goddamn essay on this one. Tara couldn’t make up her mind on whether or not she should’ve stayed with Jax just like Jax couldn’t make up his own on if he wanted Tara gone or not. I’m sick of people ignoring that. Jax and Tara’s entire dynamic is this constant back and forth between their morals. People call Tara annoying and indecisive for this but call Jax ‘complex’ and ‘complicated’ and ‘conflicted’ while doing the exact same thing. Another case of sexism and misogyny.

When people say that Tara knew what she signed up for when she decided to be with Jax, they aren’t wrong. She did know. However, it was very clearly shown on SOA that despite being involved in a risky illegal business, this constant trouble and bloodshed was not normal for the club. The entire time Tara was gone, everything unfolded discreetly and with minimal trouble that never affected the families of the club members. Almost the entirety of seasons 1 and 2 Gemma kept assuring Tara that it wasn’t always this troublesome with them and Jax kept assuring her that he’d fix things. Tara just came back at a bad time when everything went to shit and kept going to deeper shit. What Tara signed up for was the promise that things would go back to normal because peace and discretion used to be SAMCRO’s normal.

To all those questioning Tara’s methods for taking Thomas and Abel away let me tell you this: while it was risky and morally gray, it was literally what Jax wished John Teller had done for him and his brother Thomas. If you rewatch 4x01 Jax says that John should’ve ran Gemma’s ass over, taken him and Thomas and gotten the hell out of Charming in response to Tara reminding him that Gemma wouldn’t have let them go. This, once again, comes back to Jax losing his sense of direction after Opie’s death. If Jax was okay with John ‘running’ Gemma over, then he’d also be okay with Tara doing the same thing.

So this is what Tara did, ‘ran Gemma’s ass over’ (in a sense) to get her kids away from that life - something that Jax wanted his own father to do for him and something that he himself actually would’ve done if it came down to it.

And don’t forget that it was the circumstances that forced Tara to consider being a rat. She never wanted to rat on her husband and the club. She says as much to Lee Toric in prison. And those saying that she wasn’t owning up to her mistakes clearly ignore or fail to see that Tara hated her plan the entire time and she was constantly at war with herself. She knew full well that her plan wasn’t that of a saint but she did what she thought she had to do. Her heart was in the right place from day 1 and if anything she was the one who got betrayed in the end because Unser, Wendy, Lowen - they all chickened out and left her to fend for herself in complete chaos.

People even prefer Gemma to Tara even though she’s literally evil incarnate willing to kill her husband to maintain the power that comes with the club. It’s all because Gemma is a w*t dream of every person that’s a victim of patriarchy. Most of the fandom believes that you only deserve rights as a woman if you’re badass like Gemma lmao.

We all know the entire point of the show I’m not gonna elaborate any further on that one. The scene between Jax and Patterson in 6x13 speaks for itself. Tara, as a character, served as a reminder of that point. People literally take Jax’s side over hers only because he is hot lol. Every single decision that Tara made in the entire show is literally backed up by logic and reasonable evidence within the TV show itself. Even Kurt Sutter was shook on the amount of hate that she got and has stated multiple times that Tara was always right.

However, it is also worth noting that most of us Gen Z are team Tara, which makes me think that the hate toward her comes from the more closed off mindset of the older generation (obviously this doesn’t include everyone).

So yeah, the answer to your question is misogyny.

Sorry for this enormous answer but I can literally defend Tara non-stop till the day I d!e. If there’s anything else you’d like to know you can ask me or message me any time It’d be my pleasure<3 and feel free to share ur theories. I’m very curious about them.

[forcebookish]

I saw someone say that “Boston has done nothing wrong!”

And I’m like. He sexually harassed/assaulted Top MULTIPLE times??? It could not be more black and white. Top said. I do not want to have sex with you. I am not interested. LIKE YOU CANT GET CLEARER THAN THAT.

But Boston continued. Even though he KNEW Top was dating someone else and not interested in him. Which ended in him coercing Top, under false pretenses, to have sex with him. Boston knew he was lying about Ray and Mew sleeping together. There’s no way he didn’t know Mew has never been into Ray.

Oh does it not count because you don’t find Top likable? Sorry. I wasn’t aware that assault doesn’t count if the person isn’t nice enough.

And that’s not even getting into how he knowingly played with Nick’s feelings and led him on even though he had no intention of seriously dating him. Like that is text in the show. Boston says. Maybe in the future we’ll date. Even though, at that point he doesn’t intend to date Nick. He just likes hooking up with him.

Like. None of this makes the terrible things that have happened to Boston okay. But like. Those terrible things also don’t excuse what he has done. Like. It’s unacceptable that he was recorded without his consent while having sex. And then it was shown to so many people. That’s horrific. And that is a crime. But it doesn’t mean that anything he’s done before or after is absolved.

Like it absolutely enrages me that even if you think the car sex was completely consensual. Boston still groped and harassed Top multiple times. Like. That is sexual assault. That is sexual harassment.

Boston is certainly and interesting character. And Neo is really showing his range as an actor in making me sometimes feel sorry for a character who has done horrible things. Like he’s shown that Boston has many layers.

But he still hasn’t even had to apologize for what he did to Top. And the fact that I see people act like Boston is somehow completely innocent in all this makes my blood boil. I’m sorry for ranting but my god.

don't apologize, you're completely right, anon! the other day i got in an argument with someone who kept bringing up stuff that they just... disliked about top? and when i told them that was all irrelevant, that all that matters is that boston was told to stop and didn't, they called me a jerk!!! it's fucking unreal the lengths this fandom will go to justify sexual assault.

this is kind of the thing with this fandom, they don't really understand what it means to be "morally gray" or even morality in general. they think that what is "immoral" about boston is his promiscuity (something that, if you don't subscribe to an abrahamic religion/puritanical society, is in fact morally neutral - if we go by the "sex is immoral" doctrine taught in those contexts then gay sex is never moral - which, you know, based on how homophobic BL fandom can be, AND PARTICULARLY THIS FANDOM I SEE YOU TIKTOKERS ACCUSING TOPCHEUM OF FUCKING I SEE YOU, it wouldn't surprise me if that's a part of it), when it's the ASSAULT, it's the NOT TAKING NO FOR AN ANSWER.

boston is a bad person, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have, like you said, layers. not everything about someone has to be bad for them to be a bad person - and you can still feel sorry for them when undeserved shit happens to them. but this fandom can't seem to wrap their heads around that. for some reason, despite this show being "messy," when someone actually messes up they're evil and when someone does something deliberately hurtful to another human being it's either ERASED FROM THEIR MEMORIES or justified in a way that makes them completely blameless or even something good (and not story-good like how i feel about sand LOSING HIS SHIT and destroying his phone to steal the audio and fuck with ray's head/ruin top's life; i mean, people thinking that ray exposed top AT MEW'S BIRTHDAY PARTY out of the goodness of his heart lmao).

it's sooooooo frustrating, anon >:(