#as if she couldnt be more relatable
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As densely packed as I could tolerate making it- Roxie doodles! (Vast majority of these are from several weeks ago I'm not gonna lie,,)
#there will be more roxie today rest assured... well. I'm INTENDING to post more roxie at least#idk why i like it so much but the top middle might be my favorite rn idk#spto#sp comic#spvtw#art#fanart#roxie richter#spto roxie#spvtw roxie#roxy richter#roxanne richter#kim pine#ramona flowers#lisa miller#(yeah i couldnt help myself...)#im not putting this in my ship stuff tag BUT:#ramoxie#roxim#lisrox#roxkimona#scott pilgrim roxie#scott pilgrim fanart#spto fanart#spvtw fanart#happy roxie day everyone!! and neil banging out the tunes day.....#(no promises but i has a silly little idea that i might sketch related to that)#((top left doodle- i think it would be funny if rammy and roxie were like ''hey kim!! skate date!!'' and kim agreed but was too embarrassed+#+to admit she has no idea how to skate... idk it's cute to me. they can teach her [unsuccessfully /j]))#(had to sacrifice a tag. L. anyway roxie is wearing Kim's stfu shirt in the kneeling doodle there. also lisa was a last second addition-)
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okay, bc i have seen this argument alot now (and it also seems to be the view point of aonuma himself..) is that "zelda cant do everything link does bc whats the point then"
and i take personal offense on that bc its a stupid argument (in. my. very. personal. opinion.- not judging people for liking it. its a ME thing)
whats the point? its that its her. its still a different character, different in story, background, personality, but i WANT to play zelda and she can do everything link does, why does she have to be so restricted and be bend over backwards to find some new way to make her 'useful' when link gets to do basically everything no questions asked (the only thing thats hers is like .. sealing power and sacrificial maiden, which i find a little underwhelming to say the least), if theres no point to it why are there always modders that model swap link with someone else, and in that case it has even less impact bc its an artificial model swap with no changes to the story (which can and should still be different when its the vanilla game with a different protagonist... its still a different character), clearly theres joy in just the model being a different one- and that isnt even to mention the story possibilities, since, again, its stil a different character
if we ever (never ... i know who we are talking about here) get to play as ganondorf i want to him to be just as versatile and active as link is, if we got a point and click adventure game for him instead bc 'whats the point' id be disappointed too- you can find any sort of excuse/explanation for zelda to be singled out but the fact remains it tracks with how female characters are often treated, and that hits a very sore spot for me
i guess i am unfortunately one of those annoying people that want to see female characters be treated exactly the same as male characters, possibly bc i am myself afab but identify as agender and have a deeply personal dislike for anything 'traditional' feminine bc i cannot and never will be able to truly live as myself in real life, it influences all of my work, my work is as just as much as my opinion on this, very personal
and in line with my point about modding, i see theres joy in just beign able to play as her even if its like this, i get that, i also get it for the creative aspect (though that mechanic worries me even more for the future bc it really seems to be the path now that -freedom = good, linear anything = bad-) it is a different idea and its not like i cant see that value- im not trying be "right" either, just bc i have that opinion doesnt mean i need everyone to agree, its a very personal thing, if you like it good for you! not for me though, and i think both of that is equally valid
i just personally wish she was allowed to be just like link, fight just like him but be different bc its still her and not him in the end- to be physically/playstyle like jsut like him, but you know ... as her, i dont think shed stop being zelda if she could wield a sword just like him
i dont really know how to get my point/feelings across, i dont want to step too much into personal stuff nor spam people with something that ultimately doesnt interest me alot, im just saddened by it really
(EDIT: bc i forgot to add this on here again; this isnt as much of a problem as it might sound like here, just the main topic i wanted to talk about; why im so uninterested in it is MAINLY bc i dont trust them to write anything interesting/care about lore anymore after totk, im always on the more pessimistic side that thinks its most likely worse than id hope and i know even the past games arent perfect or super interestingly written, but now its much more just a general distrust, together with everything like the price ... im just much less hopeful and cant get excited until i see more of it, like im waiting for the game to get out and reveal that its just as much of a mess and money i regret spending- kind of fear)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#person that send an ask about this in just as i was writing this- this isnt about you- i promise you#its soemthing thats been stirring in my mind since yesterday#and seeing so many of those comments- and even aonuma himself say it#just strikes a very very personal sore spot#also to that one commenter on a different post-#no- wanting female characters being allowed to wield a sword is not “badass female character mysogyni” (idk how to spell that rn)#the hollywood badass female character thing is annoying but thats bc-#its a super model woman (bc shes ALLOWED TO BE FEMININE you KNOW) fight people in high heels- bc you can be feminie AND badass-#and then does a cringy one liner 'what you thoguht a FEMALE couldnt kick your teeth in'#which comes with alot more baggage of tropes and hollywood etc etc#i long for the 'women are jsut as capable as men' in a very agender way#why do you think i intentionally design alot of female characters non tradtionally feminie or masculine#again this is a very pseronal thing to me#BUT i do think it IS questionable that its her that isnt allowed to fight with a sword#like i dont think thats much of my personal dislike there- but a valid thing to point out no matter the explanations you can come up with#anyway- i dont hate it- but its not for me- i dont want to talk much about it#i hope you can excuse me not answering the asks i got related to this- id just repeat myself#(i guess i should be glad that its the top down one that gets her as the protagonist-)#(i dont think i want to live through seeing her be animated like the typically girly feminine butt wiggle in your face tehehe)#(the botw/totk cutscnes were enough of that for me PERSONALLY)#i dont know how many times i have to say its my very biased personally personal opinion and no a judging of others#to make it clear that no one has to agree with me and i dont want to be convinced of the other opinions of this
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ghost type trainersona moment 🖤 +extras and pokemon team below!
-a sweetheart!!!!! -the kind of person who'd be more likely to befriend all the really grown middle-aged people at their job and get along fairly well with the elderly -theyve always had a very generally gloomy outward disposition (unintentionally. like literal black aura hovering in the air over them) which people usually find intimidating, this further saddens them bcuz they mean well and are just quite softspoken 😭 -this also often causes bad weather to happen near them sometimes, so they tend to keep to themselves for the sake of others usually -wish they had a green thumb but its hit or miss on gardening probably. they fully believe plants may not like them but they still try! desperately so! -they take a lot of things very literally sometimes or take a moment to understand things -i pair them with Avery (and they do have kids later on) but honestly they are my doll to play house with whoever yay ^-^ -they also have a phantump they spoil and a ceruledge thats newer to the team whos still getting acquainted with the whole team dynamic -yes I do think that 99% of her pokemon give Avery a hard time since they really adore their trainer
#my art#pokemon#pkmn#trainersona#pkmn oc#pokemon oc#avery dont know what to do wit all dat.... chat should we kill that glasses wearing freak Yes or Yes#gengar#toxtricity#dragapult#mismagius#decidueye#mimikyu#debating giving the sona one of my names or if i should do a completely new. semi-related name. something something [redacted]#anyways as always outfit subject to change o7 among other things!#i was gonna go crazy if i couldnt give that trans enby another trans enby to bite them. in my head theyre kinda like abacelsus#i think the first time they see each other avery is intensely annoyed and focused on beating her and shes intrigued by his oddities#do not ask me who asked each other out first the more i think abt it the more i get a headache cuz i can see it from both sides theyre just#very frustrating when approaching the whole relationship HKFDSF i really dont know how they manage to have kids someday#somehow. cuz i also do not see either of them as the parenting type per se. but they get there! dont ask me how they manage!#something something abt two lonely traumatized ppl kinda finding each other or whatever
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the one hc that you cannot change my mind on is aro kayleigh day
#I LOVE HER SM#and shes most definitely aro coded#tbf i had more hcs that you couldnt change my mind on#like seth and jeremy being related (large families; tsc being released in seths birth month)#but the timing didnt check out :(#aftg#kayleigh day#all for the game#nora sakavic#the foxhole court#aftg headcanon#aftg shitpost#aftg fandom
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watched Logan (2017) for the first time after watching every single x-men/wolverine movie this week and lemme tell you-
I am NOT okay. what the FUCK
#a brown woman offering to pay a dangerous man thousands of dollars to get her child to a 'safe haven' is about where i lost my goddamn mind#basically i started crying and i am unable to stop#cant believe they made those movies for like 20 years and then ended it like that#so fucking depressing and for WHAT#god. if i had a therapist they would be hearing about this but instead im going to word vomit here#they really made wolverine a FATHER. they gave him a little girl! and then they fucking KILLED HIM OFF#200. YEARS OF ANGUISH?! THEY COULDNT LET HIM HAVE SOME HAPPINESS!!!!#anyways im going to keep crying about this poor fucker and my own fucking dad issues but can i just say that this movie was also hilarious??#like i would absolutely die for laura she's so weird and perfect and relatable i love her sm#also why did they even bother making more marvel films after this?? 98% of them have been trash they should be embarrassed!!#mkay imma shut up now i think. many more thoughts but im bad at english
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day 124
aint that just the way though huh
#year 4#it me#short version my grandma went to the er last week bc she was feeling ill#suspected it to be some long covid side effects. they put her on fluids & nutrition for most of the week#saturday she was scheduled to go home#mere hours before her discharge she fell and broke her hip#so she had surgery to repair it the following day#but post op she couldnt bear to eat anything and was very tired#so they did more tests#turns out shes like. terminally ill#in a kind of vague and nonspecific way related to being Just Very Old And Frail#but there is very definitely some stuff going on inside her that WILL eventually kill her#we just dont know when exactly#but we though maybe itd be sometime this week#but today she seemed to be rallying so now we are like#okay well do we send her to rehab for her hip or does she need to stay in like a more robust care facility#and its simply a whole thing#and we would really like for her to be able to go home before she dies so she can have unlimited access to her dog#who she loves very much and who is not allowed in the hospital#idk it is just ROUGH. not unexpected but on top of the other shit that has happened this year?#my aunt recovering from brain surgery still#my dog being very old and fragile#my fucking hamster died#its just a lot!!!#cw death#cw pet death#cw animal death#cw terminal illness#day 124
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what do u think is jaime’s biggest flaw
oh he has a bunch
Biggest one: his fear of truly confronting things. his cowardice (the brave knight is deconstructed)
Arrogance is a given. His obsession with perception and his ego. His destructive dissociative tendencies and forced detachment. His self delusion and cynicism he uses to enable acts that his conscience knows are wrong. He also often falls into the trap of cynicism when he expects quick results and does not get them. When he makes choices to become better and people keep dehumanizing him and expect the worst from him he gets super frustrated and petty (less so atp, just compare his behavior to Brienne’s reaction when he gives her Oathkeeper and she misreads his intensions vs the gate not being opened for him in ADwD) His misogynistic and classist blindspots. Him weighing his values wrong even when his conscience is screaming at him (multiple examples of this, e.g Jeyne Poole: “her eyes were sad and wary”, “then why do you sound so frightened?”: vows from so many vows speech in conflict: obey your father vs protect the innocent. He obviously chooses wrong. George was telling us the way he changed by the end of ASoS is not enough he is not where he needs to be yet) His desperate want to make his “so many vows” compromise instead of making the correct choice and drawing the hard line he already did at 17. His desire to become Goldenhand the Just (just a mess frankly, gold tends to have negative symbolism in his story, his goldenhand also is associated with violence and is his desperate attempt to recreate his old self, his phantom fingers — again, has to be addressed in a dream.) While we are here also his need for his subconscious to literally repeatedly slap sense into him (his dreams addressing things he refuses to consciously address because it would hurt to do so). His tendency to repeat his father’s dogma when he is viscerally aware that that man is the worst man oat (Lannister sibling parallels! uwu!), unwittingly contradicting it in every way, then trying again. His desire to pursue glory as well as honor (and whatever they mean in the subtext) when the symbolism is very clearly established that the two cannot be achieved simultaneously for him, he cannot ride two horses at once. It might be that both get turn down at the end in some form. The honor related to the KG, and the glory related to duty to house Lannister. I think that conflict is getting picked apart right now with the choice he makes in ADwD to abandon his position/hunting down the brotherhood any kind of glory tying to house lannister pursuit etc to follow an injured and suspicious Brienne alone (mind you he was also riding Honor in that chapter, ntm the half moon). I think both honor and glory are very abstract and are rooted in some form in his desire for love as well (honor and glory paid their parts but in the end it was for cersei is something he reflects on) but “the things we do for love” has to be something not destructive and prejudiced. He is disillusioned by both honor and glory, especially after aerys. “What is honor?” A horse. Like deep down he knows. His arc in AFfC-ADwD was about about taking apart and looking at all of these flaws imo, put him in a spot to make his choice in adwd. and all that matters are choices. He is also an asshole.
#ask#this is another reason i love his arc so much bc changing is really not simple at all#to what and why you are changing has to be thoroughly examined#and all your flaws have to be brought to the surface#and also how our self concept plays into our choices and what altruism even means#or what becoming better even means#i also think ppl take vows a bit too literally like they also represent something more abstract in terms of his values#and he does this too like he fixates on it bc its easier to just be like yeah im just keeping this vow nothing else haha#like his self proclaimed ‘’im doing this for the bit’’ is so easy to pick apart#trying to keep that oath to a dead lady like#cat is dead. she couldnt be kicking piles of doodoo at him#like what’s he got to prove?#it is something deep rooted for him and him only#‘’let them see the cripple. i wont show them a golden lie’’ and the return to that ‘’one hand. only one. no golden one’’#alright then lets keep going anyway#when it comes to analysis of jaime the subtext is so important#the show whitewashed him and kept him stagnant#george explores his flaws and forces him to start addressing them#and constantly presents him with dichotomies#i hope then his trajectory will be now actually confronting his sins directly#the lady stoneheart confrontation will have to be a key pivot point#especially as per her symbolism as the monster that is the product of the lannister regime#and its her family that he caused the most harm to#his biggest sins relate to her
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City of Borealis, Briar Valley
(i promise i wrote this all in advance a long time ago and I'm not insane <3) The City of Borealis is the hub of Briar Valley’s most populous city with its nearby arcane institute, Grey Wings Institute. Over the years, technology has slowly been implemented throughout Borealis and built up its own population. Borealis was once a part of a befallen human nation which still continues many of its past traditions. (Note: The "War of Morrow" is related to Lilia's dream and that will be the name I will refer to it as) (I should mention this might not fully comply with the information we currently have with Book 7 or the Briar Valley itself. I wrote this a while ago.) (I didn't include all the information I have. Because if I did, finding the notes and piecing them together would be more trouble than necessary.)
Borealis has a known tradition of its Iridescent Festival that celebrates new hopes for prosperity and generates a supple amount of blessings throughout the city. Flowers themselves are decorated throughout the city, and many attendees are donned with them. This year’s Iridescent Festival is expected to be big and an invitation was forwarded to Malleus who’ll also bring you along.
From the rest of Briar Valley, the City of Borealis is quite distinct due to the Briar Valley’s lack of modernism. Borealis is populated with either students of the Grey Wings Institute, scholars, or the local population.
Compared to the rest of the Briar Valley, the City of Borealis is considerably more diverse and contains citizens from all walks of life.
Regarding technology within the City of Borealis, as mentioned before it’s a slow implementation. Despite being more modernized compared to other regions of the Briar Valley it carries technology considered outdated compared to other countries. (The same as everything else, anything regarding outside exports is largely outdated information or technology.) (Even information or materials arrive months or years later within the city) (Information outside the region is passed on slowly, and issues such as magazines or newspapers are often a few months or years old)
The current City of Borealis, it retains half its size than it was 400 - 500 ago. Due to the War of Morrow, its other half was shrouded within a suffocating mist originating from ancient incantation where all dies before there’s sunlight met. Anything that escapes its grasp is either the deceased or old ruins. Sometimes even rare plants curated from a high-magic density can be found growing around. (Cursed forest rumored to be caused by the ‘Rhizanthes Witch,’ or the Witch in Red after killing her king in the name of revenge) (Result of Ancient Incantation rather than natural phenomena, I imagine some try growing rare plants nearby for the amount of magic they hold in one place) (Heavily guarded to prevent anybody from accidentally or intentionally getting caught in the mist) (Though it is being studied, and there is research to see if the ancient incantation placed upon it can be removed)
I imagine one of the Iridescent Festival’s famous traditions is lantern-making. Thousands are released into the sky before they’re permitted to burn with the usage of magic after reaching a certain height.
The City of Borealis, while a territory of the Briar Valley, wasn’t originally a part of the nation, but was previously the royal capital of the Kingdom of the Dawn before its ultimate demise. (Lacked proper leadership, and was on a steady decline) (Compared to 500 years ago, the present is majorly different than the past)
Three Wise Sages (TWST version of the Three Good Fairies)
Wise Sages who've existed since the founding and falling of the Kingdom of the Dawn. Their existence has since been erased since the War of Morrow, with only 2 members of their bloodline believed to be existing.
Uri Ipomoea (Fauna's TWST) has sworn her loyalty to the Briar Valley’s heir apparent, Malleus Draconia. Employed as the Headmage to the Grey Wings Institute, and entrusted as the Lord of Borealis from the current queen.
Betrayed their kindred to side with humans to create the Kingdom of the Dawn. Saw potential with humanity. They are pacifist by nature and refused to participate in wars and battles, though it took the War of Morrow to topple their vows of nonviolence. Morrigan was forced to fight as a general, Aine was assassinated by King Henrik’s order, and Fianna fled after the death of Aine.
(I wrote a lot on these, but basically, Fianna is related to Flora, Morrigan is related to Merryweather, and Aine is related to Fauna)
(While pacifists, that doesn’t mean they weren't petty) (Fianna betrayed her creed of remaining peaceful and killed King Henrik) (Vanished, her fate is believed to be unknown) (Morrigan if you want to count her, though she was technically forced to participate as a general in the War of Morrow) (Aine was killed for her transgression of the war against King Henrik) (In front of Uri who witnessed the death of her mother)
Heralded as the “Three Wise Sages” for their dedication to education and learning. Their efforts led to the creation of the Grey Wings Institute as an arcane school sponsoring solely women. (Before confusing anyone, the present Grey Wings Institute sponsors all genders but first intended to only teach women)
(Could never teach Ancient Incantations in fear of starting a war with the Briar Valley(?)) (Though the sages personally practiced the usage of Ancient Incantations) (They’re able to demonstrate it, but never teach it)
(Originally, the reasons of the War of Morrow started because of King Henrik’s meddling and desire for conquest(?)) (While the Sages are an influential force in their own right, I imagine there isn’t much they can do, except lessen the impact)
(Infamous for their rivalry with the Fairy of Thorns(?)) (Their encounters are enough to make a novel series)
Similar to how Malleus comes from an egg, the sages are conceptualized as flowers. (They feed off their mother's magic until the flower itself can circulate magic on its own) (Basically, it's like asexual reproduction(?)) (that's why they have no dads <3)
Characters/OCs
Uri Ipomoea is the Headmaster of the Grey Wings Institute and the Lord of Borealis. Originally, it was Malleus's grandmother who was forwarded an invitation to the Iridescent Festival, but she forwarded it to Malleus. A young child during the War of Morrow, she is unconditionally loyal to the City of Borealis and strives to continue its growth. (Fauna's TWST)
Mirin Wich-Tree is Uri's adoptive sister and currently attending as a second year at the Grey Wings Institute. Vice-President to the Student Body. (Merryweather's TWST)
Rhodes Strangleweed is from the small village of Dregs on the outskirts of the Briar Valley. Her mother, Fianna Rhizanthes came to this village after her murder of King Henrik. Rhodes is unaware of her mother's true identity until meeting Uri. A 2nd year attending the Grey Wings Institute, a member of the sewing club. (Flora's TWST)
(i have a lot written about them, this is only a gross summary of their characters </3) (all 3 are fae) (fun fact!! they all share the same signature spell but have different incantations) (that are all longer than necessary)
(i have other OCs on GWI's other students, though they aren't relevant to the Iridescent Festival story sadly) (mainly on the student council)
Unique Flora
Sillows are a species of flower within the Briar Valley cultivated to create textile fabrics from its thorny shrubs. Although most abundant within the Briar Valley they occur naturally throughout Twisted Wonderland. Their petals are also collected to make floral teas, as described sweet and savory.
(I imagine because of the Briar Valley’s abundance of naturally occurring magic, Sillows from this region are more flexible when it comes to manipulating fabric with magic itself)
(Like it’s more dynamic to use magic to manipulate the fabric’s form(?)) (They’re quite abundant and considered a culturally special flower to the Briar Valley and the Dawn)
Unique to the Briar Valley, Lumin flowers are known for their luminescence that glow similar to an aurora in the dark. Their natural light is dim, though channeling magic within these flowers will also cause them to simmer even more. Lumin flowers are specially decorated during Iridescent Festivals and glow even brighter when blessings are distributed throughout the city. (Wither once plucked)
(Thousands surround the city) (First appearing as tucked flowers that have yet to bloom) (Decorated during a planned performance of the "Primordial Prayer")
Iridescent Festival
Unique within the City of Borealis which was once a part of a befallen nation, the Iridescent Festival is the celebration of new hopes and prosperity. Thousands of unique flowers are decorated across the city with lanterns symbolizing and hanging to mimic stars. Festival participants don cascading costumes made for dancing and may find themselves wearing decorated hats reminiscent of the wise sages. (<-Often these hats are plain and unadorned for loved ones to embroider and decorate on) (But some might like making unique hats of their own)
During the Iridescent Festival, GWI opens its doors for visiting hours with school activities paused for about a week. Students and faculty host food stalls, games, and performances. I imagine GWI is basically a cultural exchange and more untraditional instead of what the rest of Borealis offers.
Primordial Prayer [Love Stretching Aeon]
Once integral to the Iridescent Festival until the death of Borealis’s Sages, the “Primordial Prayer” is expected to take place upon the final day of the festival which releases numerous blessings founded on good luck and betterment for the future. During the Primordial Prayer, thousands of Lumin flowers glitter luminously throughout the City of Borealis.
The Primordial Prayer itself is a blessing crafted by the Three Wise Sages to inspire hope and bring happiness to the people. Celebration towards hopes of the future and meant to inspire happiness in anyone who comes forth across the spell.
A powerful incantation that only the Three Wise Sages kept to themselves and could solely perform. It’s a potent blessing that shows itself like embers of snow.
Lumins under the performance of the Primordial Prayer are said to glow yellow which is often compared to the stars.
Considered to be a once-in-a-lifetime to those who witness the Primordial Prayer, it’s often played during the last day of the Iridescent Festival. Those who experience the Primordial Prayer firsthand often describe it as comforting and beautiful.
Full Incantation - “Love surmises my existence, feast upon my heart, and nourish from the accomplishments I’ve curated for those I developed yearning.
I, desperate for a beloved’s eternity, understand this as a fraught wish.
Awake your long-held dreams from slumber, as I cast the snowy plain of stars from the heavens onto you.
Longing, as this moment defines devotion and relaxing the weight upon the waking days.
Illuminate the unchained glisten of the suns and moons, as I cascade a blinding hope upon your hearts.
Primordial whispers, answer to my call; Primordial skies, answer to the delimited daybreak. This devotion shall hold longer than nigh. Primordial Prayer.”
#TWST OC#TWST#Twisted Wonderland#If there's information that is either fractioned or doesn't seem understandable I am sorry ; w ;#if i told you hold much i wrote about these characters and the amount of scenarios you would call me insane#i have like 3 separate notes on apple... more maybe#uri is at least in her 500s rhodes is malleus age mirin is in her 150s#uri tutored for malleus before#has a busy schedule so she couldnt tutor him consistently#sent malleus rare books or grimoires related to magic from GWI's library but had to stop because he already read everything#Uri - “As an educator you'll come across children who require more understanding and time."#“...And others willing to throw chairs or raise their wands at another.”#“Look here. I gained this burn-mark trying to deal with his highness.” “Sir Vanrouge made him profusely apologize.”#“I used all the defensive spells within my knowledge after that experience.” “Even prepping the chances I have to use a signature spell.”#“'This lesson will continue even if I drop dead or become a ghost.'” “I oftentimes can't believe I said those words...”#“I never thought I was bold nor daring.”#uri's indirect way of calling malleus troublesome
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Something weirdly specific for at least some of us, that we've had in mind for awhile; unfortunately this was the closest we could get with a picrew tbh.
× × × || × × × || × × ×
Like, fortunately for us; while we have some things that irk us with this one, but this hits pretty close in a metaphorical sense at least for the people we're thinking of. Unfortunately for us, some of those are more obvious than others so we hesitated on weather we needed to share this or not LOL.
#stimboard#cn // highly personal#highly personal#GOD THAT PINK IN THE BACKGROUND. SO THREATENING.#THAT “SHE KNOWS” THING A MONTH BACK IN THE GAME SESSION. // OC-related tangent in the tags incoming#(<- hits differently in some situations)#(<- *stares at the plural OCs who we made an entire past for.*)#(<- *stares at the fact their whole thing is. dysphoria made them plural. and THEN they became functionally immortal.*)#(<- you don't skip town for no reason. they lived in a generation where being both would throw them in The Loony Bin)#(<- but only the QUEERNESS became more acceptable later on.)#(<- these bozos are a mirror to our own life and frustration. and that realistically. people are starting to accept endogenics to a degree.#(<- but the world we want and how endos are treated is NOT going to happen next yer. it MIGHT happen in like 20 years.)#(<- “she knows” has been and always will be our greatest fear and pushing through that is HARD.)#(<- So what would it look like INSTEAD to be hiding under queerness. which is still stigmatized as hell)#(<- but you can AT LEAST find a margin of community somewhere that isn't full of abusers and bootlickers/idenity-medicalists for that ID)#NONE OF THIS IS NEGATIVE we're actually kind of glad the GM saw the full implications of that even implicitly -#- getting the shivers just remembering that. But also it's interesting to implement that onto their younger singletsona lmao.#WERE SO PISSED THO THAT WE COULDNT FIND A GREYSCALE MASK THAT WASNT. HORROR OR PARTY. THESE FUCKERS ARE NOT VILLAINS YNKOW.#like how the fuck do we have a hoard of gifs in our tumblr likes and found NOTHING for that specifically lolsob?#yes these ARE the same two chucklefucks we blabbed on and on about for like a week on our main account.#but its their “singletsona”. kind of. kind of sort of. we have wholeass ideas on this narratively.#like we just need to WRITE as in actually write but the issue is every time we do we hit A Wall(tm)#but yeah. anyways. we have headmates playing a TTRPG and we may have projected our frustrations onto two OCs that we don't even play. 😭😭😭
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mizora fans are the only safe side of the fandom for me
#from most safe to less safe#mizora tag i can enjoy evil woman and the occasional hate post#but she deserves that and it doesnt overrrun the tag#m*nthara tag is ok but some fans see her as more evil and more masc than i see her as#weird to me - cant relate#love Lae but the shadowzel hatef*cking ruined my engagement with other fans of hers#mystra tag i instafollow mystra-defenders#instablock mystra haters#literally on sight#because i read the whole post in the tag and i deserve compensation#mystra aint on the same level as c*zador#shes a pompous bitch who withholds blessings not a fcking p*mp/ tr*fficker#love shadowh*art but shes disrespected constantly and stripped of personality in the fandom to be: the woman#i dont follow the tags of the male characters anymore because the amount people will woobify them is legit unsafe#man puts a bomb in his chest because he couldnt take no for an answer#but people want to say “poor baby girl” the fuck?#man is just stupid and a tad scary#honestly sexy but i would be mystra 2.0 if i got with him#larian woobified ast*rion by removing the nuance on whether or not he deserved redemption#fandom performatively “likes” w*ll only when someone makes a big enough stink about him#i feel bad for actual fans because they love something that isnt actually there#his writing literally removes all agency for him#larian infantalized a grown ass black man to constantly be humiliated and removed the rightful anger he had in EA#i need people to admit that the writing is bad and IS racist and enables people to be racist in being dismissive with him#sometimes i do dip into the ast*rion tag tho because those artists know how to draw s*x with women#like those girlies have had s*x before and know what they want and they are so right for it#the wlw art in this fandom has no idea how s*x works#or its so male gazey and prnified it legit makes me squeemish
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Yeah sure growing up abused may have left me with permanent scars on my psychological state that I'm still working to unpack, but on the bright side it gave me the ability to give a thoughtful in depth analysis of Roald Dahl's Matilda and all of its adaptations
#rambling#i love matilda so much. its such an important story to me. its literally just an abused childs power fantasy#where she gets to get back at the people who hurt her and protect other kids and then get a new loving family and everything is alright#my gf and i just watched the movie adaptation of the musical and we have Opinions on it. some good and some bad#so weve been discussing it and analyzing different parts of it#and its kinda nice to get to use my history for something good#to be able to give thoughtful analysis on how the changes they made in this adaptation have changed the allegory for abuse in the story#from the perspective of someone who grew up with that#and to just. have that be normal. my gf knows my history and its not gonna stop the conversation if i say#'this change works well for trunchbull's character bc it makes her seem more like a real life abuser'#'this detail is very subtle but it really captures some tiny part of the experience of growing up with an abuser'#'i dont like this bc it detracts from the narrative of the main character feeling alone and makes it less relatable to abused kids'#'i dont like this because while it IS something that happens under abuse it detracts from the fantasy where the kids all win together'#idk. of course everything that happened to me as a kid was awful and should not have happened but like#for a long time i had this problem where i didnt know how i was ever supposed to be okay about that#like no matter how much therapy i go through it will never UN-happen. it will always still have happened and it will always have been awful#and i couldnt figure out how i was supposed to recover from that besides 'bury it and try your hardest to never ever think about it'#and. i think maybe this is it. yes the abuse i went through was awful. thats kind of the whole thing about abuse#but. its also just a fact of my life. im better NOW. but that will not change what happened then#the abuse was awful. but the fact that i am an abuse survivor is a neutral fact. the same as any other fact from my childhood#its just a fact. a part of my past. and maybe being able to talk about it that way is... good for me#i dont have to break down when i think about it bc im okay now. my partner doesnt need to stop me and express sorrow for me bc im okay now#i can talk about my past in a neutral way and use my life experience to analyze movies#the same way that i used my experience of growing up in arkansas to analyze hollywood hillbillies when we watched it together#theyre both just two facts of my life. and analyzing movies is fun#that woman has no power over me anymore and hasnt for many many years. im okay now#abuse mention#child abuse mention#request to tag
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tw for sexual//assault in the notes
#so ive been dealing with some realizations that my ex has traumatized me sexually and its ruining my sex life with my bf#i spoke about it with my therapist and she says that my ex sexually abused me but i agree and disagree with that#it's complicated because i feel like its more my fault than anything#i just went with what he wanted because i was scared#i felt like i couldnt say no but thats still my fault#and i know i would say otherwise if it was someone else but it's difficult for me to process this#its been eating me up more and more since i've discovered that what i was experiencing during and after sex with my bf was retraumatization#its taken me over a year to figure out what was wrong with me#i feel even worse during sex now to the point that i feel like giving up on it#i want to have sex but i cant even enjoy it anymore so its like whats the point#but you know what ill do it anyways because its like my brain is trained to just do it#i fucking hate this#idk if anyone can relate or understand but its aggravating#how can this be abuse or assault when people have gone through SOOO much worse and traumatic stuff#idkidkidk
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finally got to the max and mrs. guthrie scenes in my rewatch and oh.... wait... i think drowning the cat might mean smth different than max acquiescing finally to the violence of colonial rule and abuse...
#see i thought its obviously abt max's worldview & the necessary evil of accepting standard violence to prevent worse unpredictable violence#i.e. appealing to the hand that feeds to stop it from beating. working w the colonial government as inevitable to stop harsher punishments.#but like. i said once before i think its also important to remember max is very good at telling ppl what they want to hear and its clear#that mrs guthrie wants to hear that max 1. can be ruthless#2. is capable of stopping the cycle in nassau (the cucle of the cat) aka not asking mrs guthrie to finance a worthless investment#and 3. relates to mrs guthrie specifically and she is a woman that casually wields her privilege#she wants max to do all those things and this time around watching i noticed the implications max regrets what happened in nassau#and considers her efforts to appeal to the higher power failed#and like. the way this convo is had w mrs guthries question 'which are you in this cycle?' and max's answer directly situated around where#the dude asks max where her slave laborers r in her accounts and max says she refuses to have any#and it feels rlly pointed#max says drown the cat but we know she HASNT. she passively accepts certain things w her power but doesnt actively step on ppl to get there.#she couldve casually used slave labor in nassau to get more money in her power but refuses unlike jack.#she couldve turned idelle and featherstone over easily when asked to gain her own safety but refused#she couldve killed or turned over silver so easily but said herself she couldnt live with it if she did#im not sure i buy she comes down this hard on the issue of drowning the cat even jaded after the raid & eleanors death & annes neardeath#i think she mightve been just telling mrs guthrie what she wanted to hear. that max was willing LIKE HER to use whatever privilege she had#access to to squash those beneath in favor of 'smart' ambition.#mrs guthrie is an aged eleanor. a rich white woman in the new world who bought her power by acquiescing to the few oppressions laid on her#by becoming the role of silent wife and mother to appeal to her husbands control and violence. and using the leverage she had left#being rich & white to control everything else. its what eleanor did securing her status becoming the colonial governors wife & helping him#w his violence. its what mrs guthrie asks max to do to prove to her that max is right for the investment she wants#and she refuses#idk thoughts full head many im turning max over in my mind in the salad spinner. i need to think more on it#black sails#my post
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#hmm hmm i wonder if the reason sarah is said to be able to use a sword in s.op is in part due to the manga??#cuz she only uses staves and her lute in the spin offs or just straight up magic.#the manga it's a pole/polearm (like i hc penelo mainly uses especially after ff12 and into rw and ffta2) plus#the manga is also where we see humanoid forms of the chaoses too... hmm hmm...#i have some other things i would like to write which you might see later tonight before i go into work or after#then im gonna work on my fic. i dont have any drafts here so if someone would like something starter wise or w/e hmu#personals do not interact#;light of the crystals (ooc)#took a break from making ff1 gifs to making ff12 gifs too cuz i found a bunch of videos from 2 (almost 3) yrs ago i couldnt find#and i found again looking for something else lmao so im gonna finish those then go to all the g.arland wo.l and c.osmos c.haos ones iwant2d#so yknow d.ff ones#maybe smoe chronodia ones too cuz i want to do the extra dungeons at some point on ff1psp#but for now sleep.#life update too ig? related to sarah. i went out on a date with my bf and i found two pink bracelets that remind me of sarah so i boughtthe#and then i got her 3 new cards from the tcg 😭😭😭#now i just need her ring 💪 i also have a necklace saved on amazon i want too that reminds me of her... 😳#also did a blog cleanout too since i had a lot of ooc content here. kept all my gifs tho. will try to get back to writing more
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SM48
#GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD#i think its one of my fave sm eps sheerly just because that ending is so fucking impactful#most of the episode is about a sleepover where all of the gang is just relaxing and playing games and having nice little slice of life momen#moments#and thats fantastic not just because its really nice but because WOW its needed from whats about to come next#lillies healing progress has been highlighted by so many characters and in this epidode lusamine even wants to see how she and snowball inte#interact cause shes curious about it. lillie just casually interacts with and plays with others and even wants to battle in this episode#shes not totally there yet. she freaks out when nebby touches her. but its still progress. shes even the one who named nebby#and she comes close to wanting to reconcile and communicate her feelings with her mom#and then all of that gets ripped away in a single second when shes nearly attacked by silvally who’s associated with her trauma#she relapses hard and now she freaks out over snowball interacting with her and AUGHHHHHHHH#it hits like a goddamn truck to me augh. cause i kinda relate her to her a bit more on rewatch#cause she reminds me of my issues with bigger dogs….#anyways uhhhh yeah this is where i stopped watching cause i couldnt watch the next ep without crying#echoed voice#sm lb
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