#as if I needed to be any more sad about iterators than I already am :/

[flickering-nightfall]

I made a Box of Sadness (puppet chamber) for drawing reference and then got carried away with a material tutorial lol

Maybe I'll get around to making a poseable mechanical arm/umbilical and puppet too? We'll see.

[ladybeug]

Alright so

It has been about 24 hours since i finished @peachcitts fanfiction metamorphosis and i spent at least 3 of those hours making a fanmix.

Listen, Im sorry, this is just who I am, Im someone who wants to make a playlist about a specific iteration of ml characters. Especially if there are some grey morals up in there.

read the fic, listen to the fanmix, follow me under the cut thats where the party is

...and by party I mean analytical summary of each song.

I'm about to talk about some of these choices I made in depth, as a treat for myself. An indulgence. I'll keep the fic references high level but there may be some theme/tone spoilers so real talk go read the fic and meet me back here.

@peachcitt I know I tagged you but this will get long you do not have to read it or acknowledge this homage just know I appreciated your story and thought a lot about it.

so.

the whole playlist is meant to be listened to start to finish, its half the tragedy and half the hard work to get your life right side up and the rewards.

I actively tried not to put Cry for Judas on here and i did ANYWAYS

its on so many of my playlists already, I'm loose with this song. But frankly if i could only keep it on one I would keep it on here. I mean I just don't think any other adrien iterations do things just to see how bad they'll make him feel QUITE like this one and i just HAD to have that as the first line of lyrics in the playlist.

I'm just also obsessed with sad and angry, can't learn how to behave?? The tragic acceptance of being unable to be good??

find me a better match. this song had to be on here and it had to be first.

Your Ghost - this might be the only song thats only about Marinette which is a crime because I really connected with her pov but the truth is that this is an adrien fanmix and i need to accept that.

But for real the acceptance but inability to move on in this song is just perfect.

Can't Lose - maybe the angriest song on here? A little angrier than I was going for but I had to keep this one though because, I mean, "I'm thinking I can't move if there isn't somewhere else to go?" like, the, 'sure what im doing is bad but what else IS there' of it, I mean, what can I even say. It had to be on here.

If you only listen to one song on here listen to Animal Mask.

It's a song about partners in a wrestling match written as a metaphor for when John Darnielle's wife was in labor, and its so tender and sweet, and frankly it sounds like it could have been written for metamorphosis for like every single flashback of ladybug and chat noir.

I could quote every line and be like 'this is them' but like, 'hold on,' I cried, 'I'll be right there', pulled your mask down through your hair. they won't see you, not until you want them to. What am I supposed to say?? It moves me deeply I'm having emotional problems please come join me. Every other song on this playlist doesn't matter.

Anyways intermission, while we're here, let me share this experience that I had today with you:

I did then proceed to count, was appropriately ashamed that about 25% of the playlist was mountain goats, and extremely painfully chose to remove 'oceanographer's choice'.

[tangent about Oceanographers Choice vs Haunted House]

As obsessed as I am with going straight from the unbearably tender memory in animal mask to oceanographer's choice, first line: "well, guy in a skeleton costume, walks up to a guy in a superman suit, runs through him with a broadsword", the anxious switch in music, and then straight into a song about a fucked up guy fighting the woman he is still complicatedly in love with.... and he doesn't know how else to be....

oh no, listen, as I typed that I half convinced myself to add it back in again

but I won't because I even more love the transit of animal mask to the shrill and tense line in Haunted House, "I was buried in the summer, all those parties ago", and then a confused and hysterical song about dissociation and loss of control in a world where nobody seems connected to what you're going through. The tone is more ungrounded, and scared, and less resigned. Which matches what I was going for - I tried to avoid songs that were just like... "yeah i'm evil >:) thats my identity"

[end tangent]

Little Pistol I feel like I barely have to justify, but I will say what really sold me is the reference to 'I want what's best for me, and I think I know just what that means'. But then also the slight change in tune at the end? Delicious?

The Run and Go, just read the fic ok

I Wanna Get Better is one that honestly feels like it doesn't fit perfectly but I'm really drawn to a sharp turning point in the playlist from 'bad and spiraling' to 'desperately clawing my way up' which is how reading the fic felt at a certain point, and this song feels like the perfect tonal shift and has the end-of-a-movie screaming conviction that I want. Its also just so good

Do it Anyways might be the second most important song... third most important? on this fanmix. The frantic, panicky music matched with the unwavering conviction to improvement is so unmatched honestly and if we're talking about how hard it is to be your best when you feel your worst, oh my god. Read the fic, listen at 2:44 and meet me back here and there's nothing else I even need to say

Absolute Lithops Effect.... I tricked you, this is also a mountain goats song :) its a cover though so I'm not counting it.

This is one of the most beautiful songs about hope for the future and growth that I know its very important to me. The title of the playlist comes from this song. Here's what you need to know about it:

Lithops are these:

They grow so slowly they don't look like they're growing at all. But they are.

Love Love Love: Ugh don't talk to me about love love love. I'm not going to explain how this connects to the fic. It does, I'm right. There's nothing I can say about this that can't be said better by Mr. Mountain Goats himself:

"The point of the song is, you know, that we are fairly well damaged by the legacy of the Romantic poets--that we think of love as this, you know, thing that is accompanied by strings and it's a force for good, and if something bad happens then that's not love. And the therapeutic tradition that I come from--I used to work in therapy--you know, also says that it's not love if it feels bad. I don't know so much about that. I don't know that the Greeks weren't right. I think they were--that love can eat a path through everything--that it will destroy a lot of things on the way to its own objective, which is just its expression of itself, you know. I mean, my stepfather loved his family, right? Now he mistreated us terribly quite often, but he loved us. And, you know, well, that to me is something worth commenting on in the hopes of undoing a lot of what I perceive as terrible damage in the way people talk about this--love is this benign, comfortable force. It's not that. It's wild, you know?" — NPR interview with Linda Wertheimer, 14 May 2005

Metamorphosis: okay this one I added to make myself laugh but I also stand by it thematically

SUPERBLOOM: Don't we all deserve a little celebration for the hard work we do?

Anyways this is my fanmix, if you read to here I love you and you're welcome for all the mountain goats songs I peeled off of here that I didn't even tell you about. I didn't even put heel turn 2 on here. Whoops ok now i've told you about that one.

[badgerinamicrowaveromohomo]

This post will be be different from my entire page. It is an information point mainly discussing girls:

As a once perceived female, I have anger. Today I walked down the streets of my beloved town and I remembered the first time I went down it on my own. I was terrified and walking quickly because I heard horror stories and I felt sad about being separated from my family (I got a little bit lost). The FIRST pub I quickly walked past I was a scared object. I don't remember what they said, but it was something about being on my own and a pretty girl and just general catcalling. I was that sort of age where I didn't have any dislikes in food or in people. That must've been the first thing I disliked. I was so scared and it took me a long time to go out by myself.

This wasn't the first time I was sexualised, nor the last. It hurts me the disparage between men and woman, or more apt between men and girls.

May I iterate at this time that there is so much good in this world. Mostly reiterating to me so I don't throw something.

Dance took up a lot of my life when young. At the age of maybe 6 I learned to "sexy dance". Couldn't have been more than 4 when I started this sport and I remember so clearly being told to suck everything in. Ballet does rely on core strength, and I thought there was something wrong with me for having a bum or having a tiny tiny stomach that stuck out in revealing leotards. I was teased by the teacher for having breakfast.

It's one of my earliest memories.

I thought for years this was the fault of the leotar, that girls shouldnt wear such things. Turns out it's the people, the teachers, our unwanted observers.

Today, my boss walked behind me centimetres past me and I froze. His towel brushed my arse a little bit that could have easily been a genuine accident. What wasn't an accident was how close he was to me than his male co-workers. All shift he treated me like an idiot for asking questions about the workplace that I'm new to. I know for a fact that if it was a man asking the same questions that he would be inquisitive and wanting to learn, but I perceived his responses to mean that I am shrill and annoying.

We are taught from a very young age that men are dangerous and it proves to be right. We are taught to fear them all. Never during lessons was I surprised to hear the horrors of the world because it's ingrained from birth.

Half of our population is scared of the other.

Half of our population feel scared when a man is behind you.

Half of our population can't deal with this fear anymore.

We have been crying out for centuries to be taken seriously.

Since women being able to vote, there has been a shift of "women have all the rights already, why do we have to change because of one bad thing that happened?"

We need to change because grown women are afraid to be alone.

We need to change because children get cat called.

Legally, we are equal.

To you, we are equal because we can do the same jobs as you.

We see the ways you treat us differently but we are AFRAID to speak up.

We can't lose our jobs over this. Many do. I was replaced by a boy in my first workplace because he would be stronger than weak little girl. I lost my next job because I spoke out about feeling not safe.

I feel afraid when there's only men in the room. I feel that I can't say anything and I'm helpless. I feel that I'm the idiot, no matter what. One man can make a room full of girls/ women feel threatened.

A 16 year old today was told off because her legs were on display and it wasn't professional. I've seen men bartenders wear shorts all of the time.

There are different standards for you and for i, all because you presume me female.

We don't want to anger you in case you strike out and hurt us.

Because we've all been hurt by people like you.

I implore for the women/ former women to find a single woman who hasn't been scared of a man just waking down the street, just being looked at for too long.

Reply if you have never been scared of men.

Reblog if you have never not been scared of men.

A poem to end this speech.

Men.

I don't care who you are

I'm scared of you.

[dk-wren]

My Thoughts on Mean Girls the Movie MUSICAL

(Taking a quick break from my usual postings to go back to talk a little bit about one of my other interests...musicals!)

I just wanna share some of my thoughts about the new Mean Girls movie, so I hesitate to really call this a review or a critique. First and foremost, gosh its marketing. Don't even get me started. I have so many questions, but that is not what I want to really focus on. I just needed to get it out of my system. Now, let's begin!

I consider myself a fan of the Broadway musical. Probably not to the extent where I would consider myself its #1 fan, but I did follow its journey to Broadway and any announcements that came during its initial run and tour. I have yet to have the pleasure of watching it live (only through a slime tutorial on YT). So, for someone like me who has listened to the cast recording and watched any live performances by the any of the Bway or touring casts countless time, I can at at least appreciate that this movie exists to deliver the musical aspect to a larger audience.

Jaquel, Auli'i, and Renee (maybe in that order?) are the standouts to me. I absolutely loved Jaquel and Auli'i as Damian and Janis. I honestly think I have nothing but good things to say about their performances and portrayals. And again, from hearing and seeing clips of Renee in the Broadway cast, I was so happy to hear she was cast as Regina George in this adaptation. If you haven't already listened to the movie's soundtrack, most of the songs from the musical were adapted to fit more of a pop vibe than the original Broadway style. While I am happy to have like an official version of Renee singing Regina's song, I felt like her voice was toned down a bit to fit this iteration of the music. Don't get me wrong, she still sounds amazing but I didn't feel like she was able to truly show off her musical theatre chops.

Also, on the subject of the soundtrack, I listened to it before seeing the movie. And can I say, watching it really makes a big difference. I had a lot of thoughts about "Fearless" and "Stop" being cut. But, it kinda makes sense since those are the Act 1 closing and Act 2 opening songs, which in a movie, is not going to have that break, or intermission. In this still being an adaptation of Mean Girls, you have the scene where Cady tells Regina she can no longer sit with the Plastics and is subsequently shunned from the rest of the cafeteria. It's there, there's just no song to accompany it. But, it did feel like the right call since I think that part of the movie would've started dragging if those songs were both kept in.

"Where Do You Belong" is another song that was cut that I have mixed feelings about. I am still a little sad that it was cut, and I don't think it would've slowed down the pacing that much if left in. After watching the movie, while I can't say it was the right move to cut this song, it definitely didn't feel like there was something missing in this part of the scene. Now, this song leads into "Meet the Plastics" in the musical, which was significantly trimmed down for the film. It's kinda funny to me that the title is still plural when it's only Regina's part. In having this be the third song in the movie, and really the first one after the opening, there is a bit of power that inherently(?) comes with it in having Regina's entrance announced through song.

As I've seen others point out, two of Damian's songs were cut. So, I am really happy that they turned "Apex Predator" into a duet between Janis and him (rather than Cady and Janis). This is a change or perhaps addition that I really enjoyed. In the movie, this scene/song still takes place at Northshore High (with any mall scene being completely removed). Going along with the lyrics, the choreography resembles the musical in more ways than others, with the students acting like different animals. And it works but also it doesn't. The choreography definitely fits the lyrics. But that comparison between students as animals and high school as a savannah that is set up in "It Roars" does not happen because "What ifs" replaced "It Roars." As a result it feels a little weird (I hesitate to throw out the word cringey, but maybe a little bit). I'm familiar enough with the musical that I could tell they were definitely pulling from that number as it appears in the musical, but if I was not, I don't really know how I would feel.

The last song I'm gonna talk about is "What Ifs" replacing "It Roars." For the slight story adjustments that were made as to why Cady and her mom return to the US, the new song definitely works. It sets up Cady wanting to explore "normal" high school or teen life the same way "It Roars" does, but it supports the detail of Cady talking with her mom at some point about what she feels she is missing out on because they are in Africa (from what I could gather, the decision to move back to the US is much more driven by character interest or desire, rather than cut funding and becoming the only option). The vibe or style of this song also works well amongst the rest of the soundtrack, especially since I can't imagine "It Roars" translating that well into this new style.

For some smaller details that I really enjoyed, I really liked how (if I'm remembering correctly) when Karen is first introduced, she's wearing a necklace that has her name on it, but she's wearing it backwards (leaning into that "she is the dumbest person you will ever meet"). It was shown in a trailer or an ad, but during "Revenge Party," there is the section where Janis, Damian, and Cady try to embarrass Regina by turning on a sprinkler that will hit her (and ruin her makeup). I like how we see Ashley Park's character, the French teacher, try to mimic the "wet look" since it almost feels like an homage to her playing Gretchen in the musical, who is always described as trying to please or be just like Regina.

Everyone has their own opinions, so I can't say with confidence oh this type of person will love it or this type of person will hate it. But, I can say as someone who loves the musical, I really enjoyed it. I had a lot of fun and was generally smiling throughout the whole thing since in a way, this is the closest I've come to (and may come to) seeing the Mean Girls musical adaptation. Even then, this movie felt like it was trying to do its own take on Mean Girls and Mean Girls the Musical, and I'll give the directors and creatives credit, some of it really worked (and some didn't). I wanted to see this movie, but I was unsure how to feel going into it since I couldn't tell if it was going to be bad or decently/surprisingly good. And after watching it, my initial reaction is to lean more towards the surprisingly good, which makes me happy.

Go see it for yourself though and be your own judge! These are just some of my thoughts. Feel free to comment or share yours! Or ask me about any of my other thoughts about the film.

-Dakota Wren

[idkbecks]

Wait what even happened lol

Okay well I'll just do what happened today and if you missed any of the information leading up to this, go to the "why ryan why" tag and it will fill you in on that context.

Basically an account on Instagram seems like Ryan Seaman is doing a project and it seems like he's going to be speaking on what happened with Dallon or somehow insulting Dallon because the bio to it said "A Series of Broken Trusts: coming soon 2024" or some iteration of that. My girlfriend had it recommended to her yesterday and we immediately were both suspicious of it but Ryan literally followed it already and the guys he posted on his story a few days before that followed it too. So it seemed like immediately apparent that this was something Ryan was working on and he's dragging the stuff with Dallon into it. I've been keeping like a general eye on what he's up to but I think this is like the first significant thing other than his Halloween costume thing, which I didn't post about but he dressed up like the Hamburglar which obviously a lot of people found distasteful considering what he's been accused of.

So my thoughts: Some people on here know who I am already IRL so I will directly say it, I did follow the account right away because I want to know what is going on LOL Nobody swat me plz or my Gf because I know some of you know who we are and some of you have seen pictures from my gf from shows over the years or her tattoo which I never posted on here but it's amazing so I probably should but I try to not like say who I am in part because I just like that and second because when I started the account I felt like it fit into the iDKHOW obscurity lore tbh but that's not that relevant here BUT I like to just stay in my safe place on here and avoid all the more upsetting situations in the fandom but Like I kind of expected the account to blow up and go downhill once word got out and I was kind of shocked the account wasn't already private but I feel like it might eventually go private but if he's talking shit about Dallon I want to be seeing it. Other people are saying to not interact with the account at all but really I say do what you want at this point like everything is so messy. Like I try to stay as in the loop as possible but once everything happened with Ryan the first time around, I was really upset because I loved him a lot. Ive found it easier to completely remove myself as much as possible and lowkey pretend nothing even happened but things just keep happening. It would be great if he could just join a different band or something and just do something else instead of having it apparently revolve around the shit with Dallon because it's literally emotionally taxing because I am still triggered it even happened. Which I know is a ME problem but it's just so sad to find out something bad about somebody you cared so much about. Anyways just figured I'd throw that in there because yeah, I definitely want to be in on it if something is happening but if I can handle talking about it afterwards or even actually see something happening is a different story.

The next single and February can't come soon enough because I really need something positive from Dallon to devote my life to because this controversy is not doing it for me and I am fed up.

[drawnaghht]

hmm so last week i was trying to think of why it might be that ppl suddenly started shipping Rise Leo and Yuichi Usagi (a "never met" crossover ship) when the Usagi Chronicles series was teased in 2021* and I think it might just be because it's so easy to change this iteration of both the ship and characters - a lot of the appeal of fanworks these days is full bespoke fan AUs and redesigns.

so I think this Usagi was just easier to sorta project new ideas onto, since he doesn't come with 35+ years of comics history. He's like a clean slate. especially if folks don't watch/don't care to look into the series.

which I kinda get, from an artistic perspective, creative endevours are always more fun if they're new and something you can make your own, right? or at least that's one possible aspect (of both this and fanworks in general)

but from a fannish perspective, my brain is also going like, "oh noo, my blorbo..." xD

and it's also a bit sad that folks ignore the og comic completely in some cases or just, don't look into it out of interest at all lol. I guess I kinda get that too, sometimes in some areas of the world, comics are really hard to get by and maybe some are like me, who want to read them on paper. It might also just be that older comics are unappealing to younger fans (?) but that would wholly be an assumption, since we don't really know all the reasons other people don't get interested in things like comics. I doubt many Rise fans have read the og TMNT comics either (it's fine, cuz again, younger audience + that's sorta the point various animated series sometimes - to get the new audience into the old comics - and sometimes it doesn't go like that)

the other thing is also that technically, Yuichi Usagi seems to be like the Gaumont/Netflix crew's way of making like a fun fanwork in the form of Samurai Rabbit: the Usagi Chronicles. Many of the project leads were fans of Usagi Yojimbo and even some of the voice actors had read the comics as kids or had seen Usagi in the old TMNT series (from the SDCC interview with Stan and crew). Boy even has the Stan Sakai signature under his shoes, lol x3 So he is in some way already a fan-character and has a lot of those "new character" features that might be appealing to some (the hair and clothes are very "generic modern boy") and appealing to change drastically as well.

but anyway, yeah like... I've been around fandoms for a long while so I don't mind much that people are gonna have different tastes abt fanworks and how to write characters, etc. Everybody ships their niche ships differently. it's just interesting to think about, cuz there's so many ways to make fanworks in general and so many ways to define fandom or fandom ships and so on. like it's just something interesting I realized while having a bus ride.

*you can correct me on when the leochi/leochi ship became popular and when people started properly watching the SRTUC series, at least going by tumblr tags (more reliable than twitter, for tags at least) and I'll make any corrections about the timeline of tags here on tumblr xD Going back through the tumblr tag for "leosagi" and "leoichi" you can see a sort of a sharp drop in old leosagi "content" (fanart, fic, posts etc) and then the new stuff, mixed in with various fan designs for a Rise!version of Miyamoto Usagi and other designs and ideas. but I think there needs to be some sorta archive blog for this cuz honestly, going through the tumblr tags without a pages system is... so annoying xD Like I am not in university anymore so I don't feel like doing this sorta stuff (archiving by screenshots or by reblogs) but dang.... sorta feels like this would be nice to have lol

[hourglass-meadow]

I just meant that the slugs are the protagonists in the story- we play as them, so it makes sense that they'd get a lot of attention in the fandom. And the iterators with their huge structures create the whole aesthetic of the game, and they enhance the storyline as some of the only NPCs who speak. Without them it would be very different. That moment when you realize you have been crawling through something that is alive, and there are more of them who are just as big out there is significant.

But anyways, it is very understandable to be frustrated. I also feel very odd about making stuff with this game. It's such a beautiful, unique and rich game. I got into it way before the DLC was even announced and seeing it with a huge fandom is extremely odd.

It's good to try and remember that even the "vapid" content is made for a reason. It's a way to express their enjoyment, even if they enjoy it in a different way. And anything you make will be unique for the simple fact that you made it. It's easy to tell you have passion for the game, and that will reflect back out.

Well, anyways I wish you luck! Remember that it is okay to take breaks from fandom spaces, and that there will always be some people who agree with you and see your side, even if it doesn't seem like it.

I've known the game for that long too, but it took until after Downpour released and the fandom expanded that I began to appreciate it for what it is rather than what I wanted to be. It feels like I am too late and I don't know what to do. How can I truly express my love?

The newer fans, honestly... it feels more like they're the ones still "loving" what they wish Rain World was. Else, why have such a need to change everything so significantly? Why not focus on what Rain World already has to offer? It's everywhere and it's frustrating. I get no joy from any of this, or from being like them. I'm sad. I don't know what to do.

[wutheringmights]

Can I be greedy and ask for all of the boys ? And any characters you have strong opinions on? Pretty please? With lots of cherries and chocolate on top? ( for the ask meme ofc)

Anon, I'll finish up all of the boys in the Chain just for you. And trust me, I have an Infinite Amount of Strong Opinions. You have no idea how Opinionated I Am.

If anyone is coming in late to this, here are the boys I have done already and a short summary of my thoughts (click the hyperlinks to get the full Opinion):

Warriors: he's best when he's the trashy anti-Link, and I like him so much

Twilight: kind of boring, but I have a soft spot for him anyway because you never forget your first

Wind: should have been aged up a little so that he can have that identity crisis I'm craving

This... gets long. Really long. 3-hours-of-work-long. Before you read, please note that even when I speak negatively about something, it’s not to diss anyone who does like the thing. I’m not vague posting or being passive aggressive. This is all written in good humor and good faith. 

That being said, let’s a-go!

-Sky-

What I love about them: He has one of the best character arcs of all the Links. I love that he starts off being lazy and kind of a jerk, but grows as a person because he wants to save his friend. And I love that he's truly the most courageous Link. He has no other successful hero of past or legacy to lean back upon to reassure him. He walked into that fight with Demise with no assurance from anyone that he would succeed. Yet, he does it anyway. Because he's a true hero and someone had to be one. And he's rewarded with a curse that he does not initially take seriously. He thinks he's saved everyone, yet he's cursed his spirit, possibly his bloodline, and his entire legacy of the kingdom of Hyrule into a doomed cycle of destruction. All because he dared to face evil incarnate. I love him.

What I hate about them: You know how I called Twilight boring? I should have saved that critique for Sky. LU Sky is actually the most boring interpretation of his character. All of his negative traits? Gone. All of his positives? Also gone. He's the blandest version of himself, and like Twilight, I now feel like I gotta add some spice to him to make him more interesting while still keeping him recognizable. Even so, he's still one of my favorite Links.

Favorite Moment/Quote: When he kicks Twilight's ass at sword fighting. That's stuff is *chef's kiss*

What I would like to see more focus on: You would think that there would be more angst out there about him realizing that he's actually been cursed, but it's still kind of hard to find. He's the Cursed Knight! The beginning of a terrible legacy! Imagine meeting a bunch of heroes for the first time, and instead of being relieved at having someone who understands your experiences, you're filled with horror at realizing that your victory was a false one. You didn't win. Your spirit will never be at rest. Imagine dealing with that realization for the rest of your life. You could never be at peace.

What I would like to see less focus on: I love that he loves his wife, but he's more just the fact that he's married, y'know? I would like to see a little less blind devotion to Hylia and Zelda, and more complicated feelings about being manipulated into being the hero.

Favorite pairing with: Sun/Link/Groose OT3! I have no reasoning behind this other than I like Groose and Groose definitely had a crush on SkSw Link.

Favorite friendship: I won't answer Groose again even if I want to, so I'll say Warriors. I cannot begin to describe how elite this friendship would be if you gave it a chance. They're just two boys dealing with unique positions of leadership and responsibility. They would probably even bond over being shitheads at different ends of the shithead spectrum. It's so good, okay?

NOTP: Ghirahim. I'm not too adverse to this one, but the ship hinges on whether you can redeem Ghirahim or not. In my opinion, Ghirahim is awesome because he's such a fun villain. Redeeming him ruins the fun.

Favorite headcanon: I have a whole life story planned out for Sky. Basically, he lives to be close to 500 years old by the power of the Triforce. He is the Link throughout the Era of Chaos who banishes the Dark Interlopers to the Twilight Realm and seals the Triforce in the Sacred Realm. He actually seals himself in the Sacred Realm as well to keep the Triforce safe, and he fought Ganondorf in when he broke in. Sky, like Time and Wind, does not get a happy ending.

-Four-

What I love about them: Four is origin of the heroes of Hyrule being known for being children. What a legacy to leave behind. He's such an interesting case of an incarnation of the Hero's Spirit, too. He fought Vaati, and he did his job so well that Demise's next incarnation had to be Ganondorf. Four did his job the best out of everyone, and it came at the cost of creating a magic sword that changed him permanently. I like to think that the Four Sword was not meant to split him, that it was a mistake he made with the design. And it's sad, isn't it? You made a defective sword, and like any good sword, it has a symbolic double edge. It gifted you with so much, and yet he can never be the same again. And his story is never well-remembered because it is overshadowed by the Links who fought the King of Evil. He's does so much, yet his legacy is underappreciated.

What I hate about them: I want to prepare you for this Opinion, because I know it's unpopular. Are you ready? Okay. I don't like the Colors. I'm sorry. I want to like them, but they don't interest me at all. Because they are parts of Four’s personality, they have to be one-note archetypes which does not make for exciting storytelling. I also haven't found a fic yet that has been from Four's POV that did the internal monologue of the Colors in a way that wasn't a pain in the ass to read. Maybe if someone can figure out how to do the Colors in a way that doesn't feel like a drag, I would like them more. But in the end, I think Four himself is more interesting than the Colors.

Favorite Moment/Quote: The fact that he didn't want to touch the Master Sword because he doesn't trust magic swords. That is every I need to know about his opinion on his own adventures.

What I would like to see more focus on: I want more of Four as Four. It's getting harder to find content of Four being his own person first and the Colors second.

What I would like to see less focus on: Four being the Colors first and his own person second. There is something about viewing Four as this cover identity for the Colors that doesn't feel right. There's a balance that needs to be strike between his ability to split, how that affects his every day life, and his own identity of being Four. I think I may have read one fic that hit that sweet spot for me, but still.

Favorite pairing with: Shadow. I'm such a sucker for befriending and falling for the enemy. That is all.

Favorite friendship: Dot! Their friendship is super cute. I like the idea of them being super close when they were younger and struggling to keep the friendship going as they age due to how much their paths in life diverge.

NOTP: This isn't necessarily a Four or an LU problem, but people who ship the Colors together? Bro. C'mon.

Favorite headcanon: I'm torn between two different Four and the Master Sword headcanons. On one hand, Four thinking that the Master Sword is just legend until he meets Sky and everyone else is just a fun idea. He sees the legendary sword for the first time and his mind is blown. On the other hand, I also like my Four with a side of hubris. What if he had the option on his quest to draw the Master Sword himself? What if he could tell that if he did that, the consequences would be terrible. He's not sure what would happen, but he knows it would be terrible. So he decided to make his own sword instead to disastrous results. Wouldn't that be tragic or what?

-Time-

What I love about them: Last winter, I did a two hour powerpoint for my friends about the Legend of Zelda timeline. During that powerpoint, I was rating every iteration of Link. What I said about the Hero of Time then holds true to my thoughts of LU Time now. Time is the original Link, more so than Sky in the lore and Legend/Hyrule in real life. Every other hero is a reflection of him. So the fact that his story is about the loss of childhood and the tragedy of that is incredible, and you can see those themes reflected in every other game. Moreso, he’s the only Link with a confirmed tragic ending. Not only does he end his life unsatisfied, but his adventure is failure on every timeline. In the adult timeline, Hyrule is swallowed by the sea. In the child one, Ganondorf returns again. In the fallen timeline, Hyrule fell. I like the idea since that the games themselves are the legends that are past down about each hero, Hylians have also remembered Time as a tragic figure. Yet, they also remember that the happy moments for his life come from small acts of kindness. Even someone as sad as him finds joy in helping others, even if it’s just to small deeds that will not be heralded as grand heroic quests. It’s beautiful.

What I hate about them: This is more about Mask than Time, but Mask is not an adult in a child’s body. He did not rewind time in Termina enough to be considered mentally an adult. He’s a young teenager at best, and that’s me being generous. He is a child who was forced to be an adult and despite the gods being done with him, he cannot conceive of ever having a childhood again. So he can say all he wants that he’s an adult, but he is not. That’s just what he thinks he is.

Favorite Moment/Quote: Anytime we get a flashback to him being a younger adult is great. I want to see more of his in this his early adulthood.

What I would like to see more focus on: I think I just want more of Time being... not a bad leader, but being an imperfect one. I honestly think he’s only the leader because he’s the oldest and enough of the heroes recognize the title of Hero of Time. But he is not the leader type, and he is struggling to keep it together and has to defer to Twilight and Warriors for help a lot. 

What I would like to see less focus on: I’m not the biggest fan of Dad!Time for any of the Links. He’s not emotionally ready for it. And I think he defaults to treating the boys like adults because that’s how he wanted to be treated when he was their age. 

Favorite pairing with: Malon. He has this great partnership of equal respect with her and it’s just. So good.

Favorite friendship: Linebeck. I know. This exists only in my head. But if these two ever meet, you cannot convince me that they would not get along swimmingly. It would be so good (once Linebeck gets over his crush on Time and stops hitting on him, of course).

NOTP: Child Timeline Zelda. Let me explain: I fully believe in Bi Time supremacy, and when in OoT, he definitely had a crush on Sheik. However, one of the worst parts of rewinding time and being in the child timeline is that Zelda is a completely different person now. They may have been friends in the other timeline, but her life experiences are completely different now. She is not the same person as he once knew. And it’s tragic to know someone as who they could have been, not as they are.

Favorite headcanon: After Termina, Time spent a lot of time with the Nabooru because out of everyone he knew, she’s the only who took him seriously even as a child. She has big older sister energy, and he considers her a part of his family. However, being treated as such made it easier for him to ignore his issues and put off his healing process by a few years.

-Legend-

What I love about them: Veteran of Heroes! What a freaking title. I love that he keeps on finding adventures, and that he keeps hustling. Even if he complains about never getting a break, you can tell that he loves helping others. He loves being on the road, never settling down, and finding adventure after adventure. Honestly, if any of the Links had a calling to be a hero, it’s him. Is he tired? Sure. Is he a little jaded after having saved Hyrule and a bunch of other kingdoms multiple times? Yes. But at the end of the day, he likes being a hero. This is who he is. His complaining is not genuine; he just plays the martyr because, at this point, he’s earned the right to.

What I hate about them: If you can’t tell by now, I have a, uh, different interpretation of Legend from popular canon. Fandom Legend is not right to me. He is unrecognizable. It is hard to write him because I feel like I have to balance what other people think Legend should be versus how I think he is. The people who are big Legend enjoyers probably feel the same way about my version of Warriors, and that’s fine. I’m not going to gel with every character and I don’t expect everyone to gel with how I see characters either. It’s goes both ways, y’know.

Favorite Moment/Quote: I like how subtly he tried to approach the Wolfie problem at first, trying to ask questions and get more proof before confronting Twilight. It’s a good touch.

What I would like to see more focus on: If I had to choose one thing, it’s this one throw away line about him never wanting to settle down. I’m telling you, folks! He likes his lifestyle! And did you see him when he does presenting the origins of the hero? He’s not bitter about being a hero! Legend is moody, but he is not angsty about the whole hero thing. Have fun with him please!

What I would like to see less focus on: If you can’t tell by now, Legend is my least favorite Link. There is a lot I want to see less of, but just to name one thing, it’s the headcanon that Fable is his sister. I live and die by common born Link, and whether he’s a legitimate heir or the royal bastard, I am more than bored with the persistent Prince!Legend content.

Favorite pairing with: Marin. It’s a good tragic story and I like it well enough. She’s cute, and he’s cute with her.

Favorite friendship: Warriors. I’m with everyone else on these two have peak sibling energy. They tease and pick on each other, but only they are allowed to mess with each other. They’re each other’s bully, and it’s always good to see.

NOTP: I do not have enough energy to have a lot of strong opinions about Legend’s romantic relationships, but I will mentioned that I have lost a lot of love for Ravio recently and am liking seeing him with Legend less and less. I have no better reason for this than the fact that I finally played ALBW and hate how many of my hard earned rupees he’s taken from me by withholding important, lifesaving items. Rat bastard.

Favorite headcanon: Remember my headcanon about him being the coolest bad boy folk hero on the block because everyone thinks he kidnapped Zelda? Yeah, I still stand by that one. I did good there.

-Hyrule-

What I love about them: If there is any Link that I would call a gutter rat, it is this one. I struggle a bit to talk about Hyrule since his games gives us so little, but in the end, I always fall back on him being a hero of the people. He is the one who has nothing and relates the best to people who are at their lowest. Yet, he is still a hero. He earns the right to be a hero because he helped Impa in her time of need. He’s selfless and competent. Even if he never got a traditional education, I bet he’s wicked smart too. He is the Link that symbolizes all of the parts of the Triforce the most. And, god. I cannot talk about him without mentioning the blood sacrifice part of LA. It’s such a cool concept, and I cannot imagine what it must be like to go from being the rough and tumble, win-at-all-costs fighting to protecting yourself first because if you don’t, the consequences are disastrous. It’s paradoxical, and it must be such a different mindset to fall into. But it must also be a blessing in disguise since now he has a reason to finally care about himself.

What I hate about them: Who started the Hyrule is innocent headcanon? Come over here because we need to exchange some words. If there is anyone who would be a realist and know how the world works, it’s this guy. And while we’re here, who came up with the Hryule is always lost headcanon? I also have some words for you. And you know what? WHILE WE’RE HERE, who let him be named Hyrule? I’m have more than choice words for you. His name scheme is the bane of my existence and the express reason why I don’t write him more. God.

Favorite Moment/Quote: That one panel where he takes utter delight in Warriors hiding from his scorned lovers? That is a central pillar in my understanding of Hyrule.

What I would like to see more focus on: Again, his relationship with other people. Even if his games are lacking in NPCs, we know from lore that he’s a good guy who will jump in to help others. He must know plenty of people, and I want to see who exists in his world with him. 

What I would like to see less focus on: I have an on-going joke with my brother that certain characters are Catholic, even if Catholicism does not exist in the world of the thing we’re watching or playing. Of course, we’re not being serious. we’re just joshing around. So imagine the gut punch I feel whenever I see people say Hyrule is Christian and realize that they’re being serious. I just can’t take it seriously.

Favorite pairing with: Aurora. It’s cute and I’m a sucker for that hero and royalty dynamic, especially when the hero is a peasant. It’s so cheesy, but I love it.

Favorite friendship: Legend. But not the way everyone else pairs them up as the grumpy one and the sunshine one. I think of it more as them being the pinnacle of boys being boys. They’re shitheads. They do stupid shit together. They both have a dark sense of humor. They joke that they’re practically the same person sometimes.

NOTP: uhhhhhhhhh.... Is he paired with anyone else?

Favorite headcanon: I love the idea that he just likes his way of life and refuses to accept anyone saying otherwise. Legend wants to teach him to read? Sorry, but he’s never had to read before in his life so he’s pretty sure he’ll never need it anyway. Want to participate in the treasured Hylian tradition of piercing your ears when you come of age? Why would he ever do that when a monster could rip those earrings off? He’s stuck in his ways and it frustrates everyone else to no end, but he has no interest in ever changing.

-Wild-

What I love about them: When I was 9, I spent my time online on Legend of Zelda forums. I remember one of my forum friends saying that they wanted a Legend of Zelda game where Link lost. And I think of that friend whenever I think about Wild. BOTW Link is the best Link that has ever been. He is the epitome of every trait we associate with any Link. He’s smart and sassy. He’s hard working and kind. But underlining all of that is the fact that he’s still the one who failed. If Demise’s Curse in SkSw is the set-up, the Great Calamity is the payoff. And I haven’t even talked about how confirming him as being non-verbal before the Calamity does so much for his characterization. I don’t even know where to start or how to articulate it. By game storyline alone, Wild is one of my favorites.

What I hate about them: You guys knew this one was coming, but I’m going to have to say it anyway. Fandom Wild.... not good. I’ve said it for half of these boys so far, but god is it true. I have a way I see Wild that is rarely done in the fandom. Fandom Wild has a lot of the traits I also see in Wild, but to all of the extremes. I will mention one thing in particular as being a pet peeve, and it’s how some people headcanon him as always being nonverbal. I know what they’re trying to do, and I think they’re on to something, but they’re also missing the point of what BOTW Link’s character arc is. I just wish more people would forget fandom and work more off of the games for how to characterize him.

Favorite Moment/Quote: Weirdly enough, my favorite moment is when he got mad at everyone for making fun of his Gerudo outfit, so he dumped Goron Spice in his cooking. It’s encapsulates a part of his character I think a lot of people forget about.

What I would like to see more focus on: I think he has a really complicated relationship with his past. He said himself that his old self felt like a different person, and I think that should be explored a lot more. That idea actually fascinates me so much that instead of CTB, I almost wrote a character study fic about Wild. His emotions are not as simple as feeling guilty about letting his friends die and not preventing the Calamity. His emotions would be so complicated and because I don’t have the time to explore it, someone else needs to do it for me.

What I would like to see less focus on: There is a weird fascination with Wild having memory loss and essentially being like a kid again. And this feels infantilizing to me. It honestly bugs me a lot every time I see it.

Favorite pairing with: I can’t decide between Zelda, Mipha, and Revali. They’re all different dynamics and they’re all good.

Favorite friendship: Paya. I firmly believe that Paya is Wild’s best friend. I am the only one in the world who believes this. But I am also the only one in the world who is correct. 

NOTP: Wild is good with everyone. Good for him!

Favorite headcanon: An essential scene of my Wild character study I will never write is one where his horse dies. He goes into shock and walks back to Kakariko to talk to Impa. But once he goes to her, he breaks down in tears and has an absolute melt down over the horse. And Impa sagely says, “It’s not about the horse, is it?” She’s implying that he’s actually mourning the loss of his friends, Hyrule, his life, everything-- but through his tears, he keeps tell her that she’s wrong. He barely remembers them. He doesn’t know them. He doesn’t have any feelings about them. He just really loved that horse. But Impa refuses to listen to him, just repeating over and over again: “it’s not really about the horse.”

And that’s it! That’s all of my opinions! I know a lot of my opinions are polarizing, but everything I said is in good faith, and I am not trying to diss anyone for how they approach these characters.

I welcome you to send me your Opinions on the Links, even if it’s just to disagree with me. I’m cool with it, and I like knowing what everyone else thinks!

[amynchan]

"It's Easy."

Okay, but like, Rick.

The whole father/daughter rift in the family that needs to be fixed is a tried and true trope, but almost every time, the father is seen as this character that has expectations of his daughter that she’s not living up to. And our natural instinct is to view Rick in the same way.

He definitely lives up to it in the first bit, tho, doesn’t he? What, with the “failure hurts” and “will you be able to make a living like this,” it’s easy to read into that and say “why can’t you go for something stable that I know you can succeed in?” It’s easy to place him with other parents like Triton from The Little Mermaid, Elenor from Brave, and Jefferson Davis from Into the Spiderverse who just don’t understand their kids and want them to be like them. For reasons that are sound to themselves, of course, but yeah.

But Rick kinda misses something that the others have. The others seem to make their sacrifices while banking on a future where the kid succeeds, and they’d do anything to give their kids that future. There’s nothing wrong with wanting the best for your kid, and that thought process in and of itself isn’t bad, but Rick’s just a touch different, and that shows itself a good chunk into the movie with a pretty solid line: “I’d do anything for that kid.”

As an audience, we’ve been conditioned to think that that comes with conditions and expectations. “I’d do anything for that kid so they don’t have to live what I’ve gone through” or “I’d do anything for that kid if they can succeed” or even “I’d do anything for that kid for the payoff at the end.” And, tbh, I think the studio was banking on our interpretation.

By this point, the audience knows a little bit about The Moose.

We see Katie toss it in the ‘give it away’ bin, then we see Rick find it and seem kind of… disheartened that she’s gone to give it away. Later, we see video footage of when Rick actually gives her the moose. It seems like such a second-thought kinda thing that we almost don’t think twice about it. He’s a nature lover, so of course he’d have a wood carving of a moose on his dashboard. And, as an audience, we kinda don’t give much weight to Katie’s “but this is, like, your favorite thing.” To a kid, anything can be an adult’s favorite thing. It’s a sweet gesture, but it doesn’t really hold weight to us as an audience. Well, it does a bit in that it's a token of Rick's affection, but not much more than that. In this scene, the main thing is that Kiddo Katie’s reassured and that she goes off to camp and that it meant something to her at one point and might as well symbolize how far the two have drifted from one another.

Storytelling and narrative stuff. We almost expect this sorta thing in our stories at this point.

Then, later on in the movie and kinda outta no where, Linda gives us a little bit of backstory that seems so wholly unrelated. The lodge. It’s big, it’s beautiful, and it’s a dream that Rick gave up. When Katie asks “why,” the audience jumps to the conclusion: he did it for her. Why else would Linda tell her this now if not for the fact that he gave the lodge up for her?

It’s a sweet sentiment, but a lot of us know that that kind of sacrifice usually comes with expectations and a bit of guilt. “They gave up their dream for me. I have to pay them back in turn by succeeding.” It’s responsible, it’s expected, and it can be painful and pressurizing.

But then, side note, the reveal of Katie’s lie comes to light. And Rick’s face… the dude has seemed so human throughout this movie, and the whole “I am a dad with emotions and feelings and they’ve been hurt” seriously came through for me in that one moment. He wants to do his best for her, but he’s been hurt. He still tries to do his best, but yeah. Dude’s been hurt.

Seriously. Look at his face.

Look at him. He's in pain.

And then… then we see the moment in the video camera. Linda’s recording, and Rick’s saying goodbye to the lodge. He’s definitely at an acceptance stage about this. Sad, but acceptance. He breaks off The Moose from the pole out front as a keepsake, and Linda says “I know this must be hard for you.” It has to be. That lodge was his dream. He built it himself from the ground up. He carved every nook and cranny of that thing, and it had to have taken him years.

But Rick… doesn’t dwell on it. He takes a momento, sure, but he doesn’t dwell. Instead, he smiles at Linda (and the camera), the only one who’s really gonna remember this at all, and says “Nah,” before going to the car and smiling at babbling, baby Katie, who probably can’t even feed herself right yet, and says “It’s easy.”

Not “It’s not hard” or “I’ll be okay.” “It’s easy.” Also, his face?? Look at his face in this recording!! Look at it!

It’s easy for him to give up the lodge. Why? That doesn’t and shouldn’t make sense. But it doesn’t have to. Because that is Rick loving a daughter who he doesn’t expect anything out of. He’s doing it to care for her and provide for her, to give her what she needs. It’s not a call to the future of “I’ll be okay when this pays off” either. It’s a “right here, right now, this is an easy choice to make because I love my daughter.”

And I think that’s really cool. Katie didn’t get a guilt trip or a pressure of “your dad wants you to succeed and be financially independent so you’ll be okay when he’s gone” or “your dad gave up his dream so you could live yours, so just do it already.” Katie got “this is the love I have for my daughter. I have always had this love, and I will always have this love.”

The execution of it all just makes me so freaking happy.

Also, also, also! Rick and Katie don’t change themselves by the end of the film. What they do is they take a hard look at each other, recognize that the other is trying, and try to give the other what they need. They’ve loved each other and always have; they need each other and honestly always have. It just… takes a while to see that.

And, idk. I just think that’s cool. Rick's worry isn't placed as "succeed or else" that needs to change by the movie's end. I think the way the movie progresses and shows Rick as a character really contextualizes his position as "I love you and just want you to do your thing." And once Katie gets that and Rick is able to see her world a bit through the video (though he still sucks at computers lol), he's able to better support her and she's able to let him.

idk. I just really like what they did with Rick as a character and I love the fact that they developed him out of the motivation of "succeed for my sake," which is usually in there in previous iterations of this classic father/daughter struggle.

Anyways, that's just my thought on it. XD Couldn't get any work done until I wrote this down. Imma try to get work done now. XD

[sergiusreports]

Bunker door busted down, a stranger waiting at home? The A11Y swivels and looks around, nervous. "Ooooo. Uh oh." It rolls right past Atreus to investigate the bunker door, hovering around it like a fretting kid who just broke something they weren't supposed to touch in the first place. Eventually, it turns back to Atreus and spends a second scanning him.

"Ooh, we met before! In the snow. I think. Or maybe we've met before that?" A11Y alternates leaning back on its front left and right wheels. "...Am I in trouble?"

Sergius stepped aside and gave A11Y room to scan the bunker. "Yes. We've met a few times before." he wondered how clean of a slate Florus started with for each new iteration of ANY. A11Y's additional question about being in trouble caught him off guard. "We could have used the backup. If you had responded to my initial ping for assistance, it would have been helpful. Why did you ignore your directive for so long?"

The A11Y hangs its head down in shame as it continues to childishly sway from wheel to wheel. "I thought it was just another one of Father's attempts to get me back home. I'm sorry...I'm sorry. You won't tell on me, right?"

"I'm pretty sure Florus is already aware you've been ignoring him. He doesn't need any more information from me." The implication being that he sure as hell wasn't going to get any out of Sergius either. "But it still doesn't answer the question. Why did you start ignoring your directive?"

A11Y makes a sniffing sound - which, honestly, is odd since it's a machine that lacks tears. But it whimpers anyway. "I-I didn't mean. The bunker...I thought it would be fine! I really did! It just felt so, so good to do what I wanted. I made a friend, you know! But when I had fun, Father got really mad, and - and that felt good too! He never gives me attention. Always 'not now, A11Y.' 'Go do your job, A11Y.' S-so...so..."

Emotions. Sergius hedged and took a step back as though A11Y might have caught a virus. To make the odd sound of mimicking tears stop, he cut a hand through the air as if he could ward it off. "I understand." Almost. And yet all too well. "The bunker -is- fine. Standing around guarding it, less than stimulating, I get that. Is this friend that fat bird I caught on my drone's feed?"

A11Y does a little hop. "YEAH! He's so cute and nice! He loves to peck me right here -" The machine shows its shoulder to Atreus and, sure enough, there's a small hole in its coral carapace. "- and we go bug catching together!"

"That's..." it took him a whole second to say the word "great." Whatever it took to keep A11Y from tearing up again. "Friends can help when your father is..." another seconds long pause. "Florus." he checked the drone feeds again. No sign of Haila. Good. "You and the fat bird could stay here near the bunker and still fulfill your directive by guarding it. I've counted an array of insects around here." Then, more pointedly. "Because I've had the time."

"He doesn't like to go over here. Says it smells funny. I wish I could smell. I like funny." A11Y giggles to itself, leaving open the question of how it communicated to a dodo in the first place. "Father doesn't like funny. Do you? Do you have any jokes? And did your Father tell you to guard the bunker too?" A11Y is beginning to blabber again, the thought of the being punished temporarily gone from its mind.

It reminded Sergius of the time A6Y asked if he liked games. He felt something odd and hollow in his chest. "No. I never got around to learning funny." He doesn't give his response much thought, he can see A11Y is already distracted. The hazards of an AI given a personality coded to develop on its own. "No. I'm guarding the bunker because I decided to. There are bad people who want to take what's located here. I haven't noticed a bad smell though." Could birds detect aether? Who could say.

A11Y whines again, disappointed. "Aww, that's so sad. Funny things are so...fun! It makes you feel special and warm and tingly." But on the subject of bad people, it makes a timid whirring sound. "Oh...I think I know what kind...but you guys used to be 'bad people' too. I don't know what to think. Father says I shouldn't think so much, but I can't help it." A11Y tilts its head slightly. "Do you ever wonder about that? What's thinking? Is my thinking...the same as Fathers? Is it the same as yours?"

"Yeah, don't listen to that. You should think as much as you can." Sergius' reply is almost instantaneous. As A11Y continues, he can see it has reached the philosophical point of development. He wonders if its  childlike nature is a result of how its treated or just a stepping stone. "The processes are the same. But what we might think and the conclusions we draw could differ. That's why we communicate." he steers back to an earlier point. "You said you know what kind of people. What kind have you seen?"

The machine shakes, as if shuddering. "The really scary ones. The small ones in purple. They're so fast, and use weird...shadows. One of them got me, once. And a team of them got another me somewhere else, maybe. I don't know for sure. I haven't synced in a while. So are you saying if I think I think, then I think? Even if Father says I don't?"

Sergius continues to follow the two divergent streams of conversation in a way that might drive a Spoken mad. Luckily, neither of them were Spoken. "Yes. You think. You're thinking about thinking right now. He knows you do. Sometimes Spoken don't always state the truth." without a pause, he turns to the other issue. These small ones in purple sound like lalafell trouble. "Got you, here on this island? What do these weird shadows do if they get you?"

"Father is...lying? Father is lying?" A11Y repeats this several times to itself, caught in a loop. A beeping sound plays out of the machine, and that train of thought is cut short. A11Y shuts its eyes for a second, then reopens them. "Not here. Once, an iteration of me, in the Shroud. She had pretty red hair and pretty red eyes, but had a lotta knives hidden in her sleeves. From my scanners, I could tell she was drawing power from the void. That me got....I don't know, but I remember some stuff. Father synced my memories with what he could recover."

As A11Y shutters and appears to reboot, Sergius realized he might have just added to its learning process. And not necessarily in a good way. A realistic way, sure. Spoken lied. A11Y should know that. But not good. "That was only one possibility. He could also just not see you as capable of independent thought. It wouldn't surprise me. But it doesn't make the fact that you can any less true." What A11Y told him next caused his threat levels to elevate. ."The void?"

Just fan-fucking-tastic. This just kept getting better and better. "I think I know the red head you're talking about. This doesn't paint her in any better a light but it does make things more difficult." He would have sighed if he had been pretending to breathe. "A11Y, I really need you to take back the job of watching the bunker. Has this iteration built any defenses against an attack like that?"

A11Y burbles sadly as Atreus continues on about lying. "I...I don't want to think about this anymore. It hurts. It really hurts." It rolls closer to Atreus (perhaps seeking comfort), though it takes care to not accidentally stab him with its spear. A11Y lingers there for a moment, then lets out a small "mm" of agreement. "That first time, I didn't have combat data loaded into me, so that's why she won. But I'm stronger now. Rising is with me. So I'll do a good job this time. I won't mess up again."

"Then think about something else." It didn't make any sense to him. Why create a war machine with so many emotions? As it rolled closer, Sergius had the horrible feeling that it was seeking some sort of comfort from him. He momentarily felt his processes freeze in panic. A hand awkwardly pats a jutting piece of its carapace in a stiff ‘there, there’ sort of motion. Anything to keep it from 'crying' again. "Bug catching. Something like that."

As it explained about Rising's combat data, he realized his conclusions about what Florus wanted that information for were correct. How A11Y ended up with Rising's was anybody's guess. "Good. Because I need to return to Heartwood and let them know about the people using the void before we run into them."

A11Y takes Atreus's 'pets' like a champ, and then backs up with a giggle. "Heheh, that was weird! But I liked it. And...well." The machine sways again. "Promise you'll come back and visit? It gets so lonely out here."

Weird was right. "Agreed." Sergius stated, relieved when the A11Y backed up. "I'll come back and visit." he told it. "There's just work we both have to do first."

[astralsweetness]

So Kiss Me Goodbye (Hui/Reader) (m)

➣ I wrote this in, like, fifteen minutes the day before his enlistment, so it’s not very good at all lmao

➣ Very very vaguely connected to this drabble, which is connected to this fic. Title from Pentagon’s “Beautiful Goodbye”, Hui’s line specifically: "So kiss me goodbye, if I have to leave I'd rather leave beautiful memories behind".

➣ Hui/Reader | Warnings include: Mentioned alcohol in the beginning, pegging (tho it’s not explicitly said, so it could be seen as a male!reader as well), implied choking, mentioned safewording, mentioned hair-pulling. Talks about his enlistment, sort of angsty but things are okay.

Hui’s leaning on you just a bit too heavily, both of his hands wrapped around one of yours to amuse himself. You knew it would end up like this when the somaek was brought out – he might not have had the highest tolerance, but that didn’t mean he found it difficult to drink something lighter than soju.

“It was a lot of fun.” He’s speaking quietly to you, aware of the taxi driver even while drunk, some idol-life rules ingrained in his being without needing to be sober. That being said, the fact that he was half on top of you proved his memory was very selective. “It’s been a while since we could all get together.”

You’ve heard this before, mostly because he’d said some iteration of this to you about six other times tonight. You know how Hui is going to respond to your response, but you lead him down the same conversation as before anyway. “Didn’t you all get together to do the exact same thing the last time you were set to enlist, Hui?” You’re wary to call him anything else in the presence of a cab driver who may or may not be listening.

“Hyojongie didn’t bring Hyuna-noona last time.” He says it like it’s as simple as that, and you suppose it is. For someone who thrived off of being surrounded by his found family, having an extra person was probably nice. “Wish Jinho-hyung could have come though.”

“You know he doesn’t get many off days.” You’re not totally listening to the conversation considering it was one you’d already had with him more than once, but you can feel his glittering gaze on the side of your face, looking at you like you were everything he ever wanted. It was heavy with alcohol but no less sincere.

You keep your gaze turned away, out the window at the night scenery blurring by, his hands still holding yours as he tucks his face in against your neck, facemask rough against your skin.

.｡..｡.

By the time you get home he is half-asleep, the driver looking at you with pity as Hui leans on you when the two of you get out of the taxi. You’re not sure why that look bothers you, fingers holding Hui’s waist a bit tighter in reflex.

He is asleep the instant he touches your bed, curled up on his side of it with his face buried in your pillow, like even in his dreams he was trying to make up for the fact that you weren’t directly next to him. He’s still wearing the clothes he’d worn out to the get-together, but you don’t even entertain the thought of waking him up to deal with them – it was obvious how tired he was, even without the alcohol’s influence.

You leave a glass of water and an aspirin on the bedside table near him, sliding under your covers moments later – he turns towards you instantly, and you wrap your arms around him out of habit, one hand resting lightly on the back of his neck. That was a habit too.

Kissing him on the forehead wasn’t a habit, and he makes a soft sound at the feeling, nuzzling in against your collarbone.

.｡..｡.

You wake to kisses littering across your cheekbones – before you even open your eyes you can hear him laughing softly, knowing precisely when you awoke. He was just too perceptive when it came to those he loved.

“Sweetheart, I’m pretty sure this isn’t my dorm.”

“Shouldn’t you be hungover..” Your response is less than enthusiastic, even when he cuddles up to you and presses more kisses to your jaw. He wanted something, you just didn’t know what yet.

“I am – and I would be worse if my darling lover hadn’t left medicine by the bed.” He pauses only briefly, during which you crack your eyes open finally to look at him. He does look vaguely hungover, but he also looks beautiful, dark hair falling into his eyes and petal pink lips upturned into a slight grin, face the vaguest bit puffy from the alcohol and extended sleep. Then again, he always looked beautiful to you. “I love you.”

That was a new phrase that had entered your relationship only recently, and something Hui had seemed to cling to when it had been given to him. He said it all the time, as a greeting, as a promise, as a threat, as a goodbye.

But the words felt heavy on your tongue – what was that supposed to mean, when he led the life he did? With your relationship the way it currently was? He’s still waiting for a response with an expression you can only categorize as fond. He never rushed you when it came to this, just smiled and waited, unbothered, like he knew your response even if you didn’t say it.

He deserved the truth though, so you murmur a quiet “I love you too” that wreathes around the two of you like a heavy entity, suffocating but also warm and protective.

“This isn’t your dorm because I wanted to wake up next to you.” That, too, was the truth – the sunset hue of his eyes turns more dawn than dusk at the words, brows pulling together like hearing that was a sweet type of pain. He doesn’t say the I’m sorry I can’t more often that you know is crowding on his tongue. Instead he just presses a soft kiss to your lips before the mischievous look from before re-enters his eyes. He definitely wanted something.

“Since I’m here, what about morning sex?” He says it with no shame, forcing a startled laugh out of you – the room feels lighter somehow, and you reach out to affectionately cup his face, brushing your thumb across his cheek. You can feel the slight imperfections of his skin under your finger, the minute things makeup would always cover, his perfect flaws that you loved.

“Depends.” Your hand caresses his face and slides down until it’s wrapped snugly against the side of his throat, right in the spot it belongs. When he swallows you can feel it under your palm, warm and trusting. “What did you have in mind?”

“Want you to fuck me.” He’s grinning, like he enjoys getting to say something so blatantly naughty sounding after always policing what he says for the camera. “It’s been a really long time since I got fucked last.”

“Really?” You find that hard to believe, considering your Hui had always been sort of a slut (which you called him with all the affection in the world). He laughs in mock offense at your question, so utterly happy just from getting to spend the morning with you, despite his apparent hangover.

“Yes, really! I haven’t even gotten to use my own fingers in a while – do you have any idea how clingy those boys can get when they put their mind to it? Even Hyunggu will follow me around now that the enlistment date was confirmed.” Hui’s whining, trying to make a big deal out of something you know he in actuality loved.

“Then I guess I have some work to do, don’t I?” He scoots back a bit so you can stretch as you sit up, blankets pooling around your waist. It’s only now you notice that at some point in the morning he had shed his belt and pants from the night before. “Someone as pretty and cute as you shouldn’t have to touch themselves, isn’t that right?”

He throws you a smile in response – it’s one of his fragile ones, where he looks almost sad but is instead simply overcome with emotion. You can’t help laughing at him, sliding from under the covers and tossing the lube at him haphazardly. He stretches to catch it, just managing to keep it from falling off the bed. “That was supposed to be a good line, Hui, but you ruined it with your sappy affection.”

“Oh – wait, hang on, you can say it again and I’ll pretend I haven’t heard it.”

Sex with Hui ranged from anywhere between incredibly tense and passionate to carefree and casual, and this seemed to be one of the latter scenarios. There’s a persistent laugh lingering in his throat, infectious, and you can’t help but to laugh along whenever he does.

The atmosphere only slightly changes when you begin to open him up, a specific type of gracefulness seen in the line of his body when you crook your fingers and he arches his back off the bed. A sound that might have been a yelp or a moan accompanies it. Everything is still soft and hazy, warmth suffused through your bodies from where his fingers tangle with your own.

You’re content to let him take the lead, watching tenderly even while his fingers curl semi-painfully into your shoulders when he bottoms out, head thrown back, throat working as he swallows hard. You wonder if you could get away with marking him up before he has to go, but ultimately decide not to, knowing at least someone will be recording when he leaves.

Watching him move on top of you while you lie back and watch is a type of special pleasure - he is just so beautiful, brow furrowed and lips parted, gaze dark and intense but just a bit disconnected like he was focused only on how good he felt. It’s only when his movements become rough that you take all control back, a simple heavy hand on his hip making him still. Sweat glistens on his skin, cock red and glistening with pre-cum from a mixture between desperation and arousal.

“Slower – Hwitaek, baby, I’m not going anywhere.” You reach for his hand, finding it easily even if you curse yourself for your choice of words – it trembles in your grasp and you wonder, for the first time, if he hasn’t been totally honest about how he feels about the four weeks he’ll be gone for basic training. He’s gazing down at you with such a bittersweet expression that it makes your chest ache, and he’s completely stopped moving at this point, resting on your hips, taking all of you as deep as possible.

“I know.” His voice is a soft whisper – four weeks of no contact, of only one phonecall for a limited time every seven days. You weren’t sure he’d ever gone that long without contact from either you or one of his boys.

It’s not fear you’re seeing reflected back at you in his eyes, but loneliness. A lingering sadness because he doesn’t want to be apart from those he loves for even a moment.

“Do you need to safeword, baby?” It feels necessary to ask, to remind him of his safety net considering the way he had gone distant, body tense and fingers shaking around your own.

“No.” It’s still soft, but more firm than his voice had been earlier. Whatever had taken hold of his thoughts he’s managed to shake off – it hurts you, but you know it’s necessary. There wasn’t anything anyone could do to change what was going to happen. “Just want to be with you for a while.”

“You’ve got me, darling.” Your words are followed by the sweet press of his lips against your knuckles, fingers still curled protectively around your own like it was something sacred to him. “Here, let’s switch positions, let me take care of you.”

“You already are.” He sounds exasperated but amused, a little grunt being torn from his chest anyway when his back hits the bed, feeling the way you shift inside of him. When you lean down to kiss him he returns it eagerly, if not a bit languidly, a soft whimper of a moan being swallowed up by your mouth when you begin to thrust into him again.

He’s quieter than he usually is, more subdued, one hand clenched tight in the pillow above him and the other interlaced with your own. You’re fucking him deep, punching little gasps out of his lungs while he rocks his hips towards your own. As beautiful as he is you can’t stop your gaze from drifting to his neglected cock, red and slick with need and desperation.

“That looks painful, baby.” You’re speaking softly, bent over him, and he cracks his eyes open simply so he can crane his neck up and kiss you. You try not to laugh into the kiss and largely succeed. “You ready to cum, sweetheart?” At his nod you un-entangle your hand from his, ignoring the disappointed whine that lodges in his throat. It’s quick to transform into a breathless moan when you wrap your hand around him, the glide of skin on skin incredibly slick already from how much he’d been leaking.

Hui orgasms with a sharp gasp, so much quieter and less dramatic than he usually is, muscles in his abdomen tensed tightly and head thrown back, digging into the pillow. The cum glitters on his skin under the weak rays of sun filtering in through the drapes, and he’s breathing hard, chest heaving, and you’re not sure you’ve ever seen something or someone so primally beautiful before.

He lets you be away from him just long enough for you to clean his stomach off with tissues before he’s tugging you back down beside him. It’s a bit too warm, his skin sweaty and sticky, but you nestle down against him anyway and indulge in his presence, perhaps over indulging as the two of you share countless long, languorous kisses.

“Maybe I should be worrying about how I can go four weeks without this, instead of anything else.” His words are coated with amusement and you can’t help but to giggle with him, burying your nose into his neck. His fingers continue to play with yours, resting on his bare chest.

“You’ll manage.” You press a kiss to the corner of his lips when he turns to look down at you, an “I love you” lingering between you both, unspoken but known. “I know you’ll be okay.”

[mittensmorgul]

Hi, I have a question, and I hope it would be interesting for you too... Could we talk about angel's wings and feathers?..

I always thought that angel's wings were a part of their true form, a kind of energy which we can only see as a shadows or electric sparks or ash or something like this.

And I didn't think that it could be a real wings with feathers as bird's. Until, while rewatch, I've noticed that angel's feather were mentioned in SPN at least twice (maybe you've noticed more?):

1) In 8.12 when Henry Winchester time travels he uses an angel feather in spell. And then Dean tells that Henry stole an angel feather from the trunk of the Impala. So feathers are reall??? Why did the Winchestets keep the feather in the trunk of the Impala and where they get it? (ok, maybe they found it in the bunker)

2) In 12.13 Sam uses a white feather in spell returning Gavin back in time (we know this spell needs an angel feather)

So now we can see how the real angel feather looks like???

Does that mean that the angel's wings can be presented in physical world like a real wings with feathers and this is not fanfiction? I like this idea so much.

I think that the creators of the show didn't let us to see it, as many other great things, that is sad...

I would really like to know your thoughts about this.

(Sorry for my bad english, it is not my native language...)

Hi there! First off, your English is fine! (lol it’s my native language, and I just typed it “Inglish” by accident, so you’re already doing better than I am :’D)

ETA: DON’T REBLOGGY THIS YET. I forgotted something that @thayerkerbasy just reminded me of, and I’m editing this post... brb... okay NOW YOU CAN REBLOGGY!)

As far as I know, those are the only times in canon we ever see or hear mention of an angel feather, and both times it’s for the same exact spell. They reference that it’s Henry’s spell when they use it again in 12.13, but make no mention in dialogue of it being an angel feather. Yet Sam had a whole jar of fluffy little pin feathers, so the assumption is that they’d been collecting them for a while (unless those were either found in the Men of Letters’ spell ingredient stockpile when they moved into the bunker, or otherwise given to them by Cas at some point).

It’s weird, because they seem like a very limited commodity, especially after the angels fell and their wings all burned up. Even after Cas got his original grace back, his wings never seemingly recovered. When we did finally see his wing prints in 12.23, they were still... not healthy... So my thinking is that any spell that would require them will become impossible to cast when their current supply runs out. All the other angels-- at the end of the series-- were either dead or locked in Heaven with their broken wings. We never learned any of their fates. Maybe they were all rendered obsolete under the Heaven Remodel?

A little behind the scenes from the early days of SPN as a bonus, since it’s tangentially relevant:

When they were filming the very early episodes of SPN, they had a lot of choices to make about what to show us based on what their budget would allow them to portray. Think of an episode like Wendigo, 1.02. One thing I see people say often was that it was a shame we didn’t see more of the monster, but only saw like... bushes shaking, or a vague form moving through the underbrush, or a blur. They made a stylistic choice right there to keep it within budget.

The options they faced were showing us a “dude in a rubber mask” type monster and showing it more, versus one really terrifying shot of a Proper Monster™ dying in spectacular fashion. Rather than go full-on cheesemonster, they chose to leave most of it up to our imaginations, giving us glimpses or hints of the monster.

They went back and forth on this a bit over the years, attempting to show us more on occasion, but most of those times the audience reaction has been varying degrees of wtf... Think about some of the scenes where they attempted to give us more than a glimpse at the supernatural, or a blood splatter, or whatever. It didn’t always work well. Think: the wire fight from 13.23...

I mean, it took us until 11.14 to ever see an angel “flap away,” when we saw Casifer zap Dean off the exploding submarine.

For the most part, I appreciate the fact that they understood the limitations of their own budget and didn’t give angels cheap little wings just to be able to show them on camera. Over time, only being able to see them as shadows, or as char after the angel died, became part of the lore of the show.

I blame Adam Glass for writing that spell, because he probably thought it sounded cool or whatever, that it was effectively a throwaway line because no other spell they’ve ever used has required an angel feather as an ingredient, and in story it was only linked into this larger Men of Letters Legacy plot that in retrospect feels like Chuck tying up loose ends and putting previously “deactivated” plotlines back into play.

I do find it kind of interesting that both iterations of this spell (the second resurrected by Bucklemming) were both tied to Abaddon. Henry’s spell in 8.12 brought her into the story from the past, she eventually travelled to the much further distant past to bring Gavin into the present (presumably with her own power alone, no angel feather required), and then after she was killed, they used the spell to return Gavin to his own time. So in a a way, the spell was part of a closed narrative loop, never to be referred to again.

Kinda wild that we’d never heard of angel feathers being a thing for spells until we learn that Dean apparently had some just stashed in the trunk, though... :’D

As for how corporeal angel feathers are/were, they exist in the earthly plane enough to leave char marks when they burn, when an angel is killed, so they must always have had the potential to manifest physically. I can’t imagine they ever would’ve had a budget to show us anything more than what we usually saw, though. It did give them a LOT of flexibility over how exactly they presented them to us when they DID show us. And I can’t even imagine the suffering Misha would’ve endured as an actor spending all those years wearing some weird wing harness rig. It would’ve been... impractical. And the CGI the show could’ve afforded-- especially in earlier days-- would’ve been... bad...

But what they were able to show us? Was often awesome. Remember when Raphael showed off his wings in 5.03? LIGHTNING!

And when we finally did see actual corporeal-appearing wings in 8.23... it was Dramatique™

And for More CGI Is Sometimes A Bad Thing Science, please have the attempt at Michael’s “true form” from 14.01:

It’s kinda a super-letdown after AU!Michael’s previous shadow wing displays from 13.01, but more specifically from 13.22:

those... were... badass... 

Even the pre-wire-fight wing shadows on Dean were badass:

But if they’d tried to show us more of them, to make them move through action scenes for example, it would’ve been... bad...

So what we’re left with is the knowledge that there is some sort of corporeal element to wings that we simply can’t see most of the time, but clearly angels have the ability to show or hide them at will, even from other angels. Could it be an act of will on the part of the angel that manifests a bit of their grace in the form of a physical feather? Honestly, that’s the theory I’ve personally adopted toward canon. In fanfic, I’ve read tons of various headcanons about what angel wings are and how they function-- everything from “a manifestation of their true form” to “angels share a lot of traits with birds” to “an extension of their grace,” and everything in between.

I personally, in canon, like to think of it as akin to how they’ve used angel grace for other spells. I mean, when we recall that angels haven’t been on Earth much for the last few thousand years (aside from at least a couple of known incidents where angels interfered with humanity, like Ishim and Company in 12.10, for example, and the presumptive extension that the Men of Letters knew of the existence of angels and likely summoned one up a time or two the same way Lily Sunder had, giving one explanation for how Henry Winchester knew of this spell and had an angel feather to use for it, but also recontextualized when Lily Sunder taught us that humans can use their own souls to power spells in the same way angels used their grace... which sort of makes the notion of needing an angel feather AND his own soul to charge that particular spell in 8.12 a bit redundant unless Lily’s knowledge of angelic magic was more advanced than Henry’s... hrmpf.... so much tangent... back to the point)...

We did eventually learn of other spells that required an angel’s actual grace, not concentrated in the form of a feather. The Angel Fall Spell in 8.23 being the prime example. Metatron took ALL of Cas’s grace for that one, even if he didn’t use all of it for the spell and left a “fragment” (Metatron described it as “not a lot, but enough.”). 

ETA: HECK. I have 9.03 on the tv right now and it’s distractedly made me disgusted enough to have forgotten something that Thayer just reminded me of: Lucifer’s “fossilized feather” in 12.07. It held enough grace to restore and heal him after Rowena’s spell in 12.03 had degraded him. Which really only adds to the theory that “feathers” are simply bits of grace that have been rendered solid somehow, but that can be transformed back into grace as needed.

And then there was the Rift Spell for travelling to alternate universes that required archangel grace, as well as the time travel/ward breaking spell that Sam found in 11.14 that ALSO required archangel grace specifically. Would these spells have worked with an archangel “feather?” Possibly, if material feathers are somehow just crystalized bits of grace, but since we never got a full explanation in canon, and never even really saw corporeal feathery wings that dropped feathers or could be plucked, and never even had mention of corporeal feathers outside of their use in this single spell, it’s really up to our own interpretation. And I kind of like it that way, because that way we get to have fun little discussions like this one. :D

I know this isn’t a definitive answer, but it’s how it all makes sense to me, in the hand-wavey sort of way that all of canon works. :’D

[iatethepomegranate]

Just a fic about Caleb buying a house in Rexxentrum with Beau and Yasha, and coping with that kind of change and newfound stability (and becoming Professor Widogast). Angst and fluff are at war in this fic.

Content warnings: Panic attacks, Caleb's backstory

Chapter Summary: Yasha, Essek and Caduceus hit the garden. Caleb's meeting with Professor Alphira takes an unexpected turn, leaving him floundering. But the Nein come for him when he needs them, and they help him find his feet. Then they go shopping.

Notes: Chapter title is from "Venus" by Sleeping At Last.

****

Chapter 3: I was a billion little pieces til you pulled me into focus

Yasha got her garden started the next morning, with Essek and Caduceus helping her. Caleb watched them for some time, enjoying the quiet start to the day, before he headed deeper into the centre of the city to meet Alphira.

Caleb had known this coffee shop when it was a smutty bookshop he used to frequent with Astrid and Wulf during their explorations of the city. Alphira was seated by the front window, and waved to him through the glass. Caleb checked his surroundings, not bothering to be subtle about it, and stepped inside. A lute player sat in the corner, playing soft music.

“I have a confession, Mr Widogast,” Alphira said as Caleb pulled out a chair to sit.

He froze, leaning on the back of it. “...ja?”

“Do you remember Professor Bettina Weber?”

“Professor of Transmutation. I remember her.” Caleb had gotten along with her perfectly fine when he was a student, but he had been set on Evocation at the time. And then Trent had gotten his hands on him and ruined any chance of having a good relationship with any teacher at the Academy. “Why do you ask?”

“I mentioned your old name to her,” said Alphira. “She asked to come along. Is that all right?”

Caleb raised an eyebrow, watching Alphira hide her fidgeting hands beneath the table. “You are not a good liar, Professor.”

Alphira sighed. “I apologise. I should have been upfront. We intended to speak with you together, but we were not sure how you would…” She waved her hands around, evidently unable to conjure the remainder of the sentence. “Archmage Beck knows we are meeting, if that helps.”

“This is not the best start to our friendship, Professor.” Caleb forcibly relaxed his shoulders and slid very carefully onto his chair. “Do what you will.”

Alphira pulled a coil of copper wire from the component pouch on her belt and whispered into it. “Bettina, you can come in. He’s not happy, but he hasn’t walked out.”

A few moments passed, and then an older human woman, greyer than Caleb remembered, stepped through the doorway, setting off the bell. She sat in the third seat at the table.

“Guten morgen, Professor,” Caleb said, not bothering to hide the steel in his tone. He did not need to cower before anyone in this city anymore, save perhaps for King Dwendal. He was done tolerating the convoluted bullshit of the Assembly. Today, at least.

“Guten morgen, Bren.” Bettina at least had the grace to look sheepish. “I apologise we were not upfront with you. Ah, I did not check which name you prefer. Bren or Caleb?”

“I don’t mind.” Caleb did mind. More than he usually did. He couldn’t tell whether Bettina’s slip had been intentional or not, and that irritated him.

“Caleb, then.”

Caleb felt a strange wash of relief, not unlike how he had felt when Yudala Fon had come to the same conclusion.

Alphira flagged down a server and each of them ordered a cup of black coffee. “My treat,” she said.

“Danke,” Caleb replied. They sat quietly at a moment, looking at each other, and Caleb’s irritation swelled. “Forgive my impatience, Professors. Why did you ask me here?”

“Soltryce Academy needs a new Professor of Transmutation,” said Alphira. “Bettina intends to retire in a few years.”

“I am not a qualified teacher,” Caleb said. “I have no experience.” Well that was not entirely true; he did have experience teaching individuals. And he had helped Veth with the first iteration of her adventurers’ summer camp. “Well, no experience that a teaching institution would consider of benefit.”

“Archmage Beck put your name forward,” said Bettina. “The other Archmages were quick to agree with her. The Martinet himself wants you on the staff.”

“The Martinet wants a lot of things,” Caleb said flatly. This was too good to be true. It had to be. He could not afford to get his hopes up about this, even as one of his oldest dreams was presented to him on a silver platter.

The coffees arrived. Caleb wrapped his hands around his mug, letting the warmth chase the morning chill from his fingers. Bettina slowly stirred sugar into her coffee, chuckling softly.

“I know he offered you Astrid’s job,” she said. “Not many people say no to him. He doesn’t know what to do with himself.” She looked up from her coffee, smiling at him fondly in a way that sent Caleb into a state of utter confusion and mild panic. “Of the three of you, I would not have expected you to be the one to confound him like that. Well done.”

“I’m not here to fuck around,” Caleb responded, not wholly by design.

“Good. We need more people like you in the Academy.” She was working hard to disarm him, and Caleb was doing all he could to hold on tight to his distrust.

“We don’t want something like Trent Ikithon happening again,” Alphira said. “Archmage Beck is of the mind that you are well-placed to prevent that. Bettina and I are inclined to agree.”

That was a major reason why Caleb had chosen to remain in Rexxentrum, but it did rankle him that it was expected of him, after everything he had already been through. He did not like the bitterness that rose in him. Alphira and Bettina were offering him the power to keep children like him safe like he desperately wanted. And it was unfair to assume they would throw him to the sharks and leave him there.

Caleb took a deep breath and asked, “And where do you two fit in?”

“I have decades of teaching experience,” said Bettina. “My knowledge is at your disposal. I seem to recall you once told me you wanted to teach… when you were fifteen, I think. You were still new to the Academy at the time.” Before Trent got involved went unspoken.

“Did you know what Trent was doing?” Caleb asked. He had to know. He needed more information before Bettina’s persistent kindness wore down his defences and either made him meek or cruel. And if he sensed even the slightest inkling that she had known anything and didn’t lift a finger to help, he would walk out in a heartbeat. There were enough people associated with the Assembly who clearly had some idea and did nothing. He did not need to drink coffee with one of them.

“No,” Bettina replied. “I understand why you needed to ask, and I admit Ikithon always made me uncomfortable, but I genuinely had no idea he was abusing his students.” Her gaze bore into Caleb’s, mouth downturned and eyes sad. “I’m sorry. I wish I could have helped you.”

Caleb had to break eye contact, before he broke instead. He sipped his coffee, with shaky hands, and composed himself.

“We were at his trial,” said Alphira matter-of-factly. Caleb could not express how grateful he was that she kept emotion out of this. “Most of the professors attended. We were shocked, but not exactly surprised. He was always a creepy bastard.”

“We believe Alphira came close to being recruited,” said Bettina, quiet but far less intense than she had been a moment ago. “She’s a talented Evocation wizard. Trent had a few meetings with her parents, but she has a large, close-knit family spread across the Empire.”

“He realised you had too many connections,” Caleb said, and found his voice was steady. “He couldn’t isolate you. Too much time and effort, and he had many other… projects..”

“I believe you are correct,” said Alphira. “I came to the academy just after you had, uh, left. There were rumours about what happened to you, but nobody really knew for sure.”

“I take it the trial cleared that up for you.”

“Ja.” Alphira sighed. “Look. I am sorry I did not handle this meeting better. This is my fault. I wasn’t sure you would come if you knew one of your old teachers would be here. It was wrong of me to take that choice from you.”

Caleb hadn’t survived this long without learning how to get a read on people, and he felt confident he was reading her correctly. She seemed genuinely remorseful. “I will consider the offer.”

“Good,” said Bettina. “Of all my possible replacements, I am most confident you will do the right thing by the students.”

She was laying it on pretty thick, but it emboldened Caleb to speak a few things he had been toying with, in the event he did have an opportunity like this.

“If I were to accept the position, I have a few demands,” said Caleb. “I want the Academy to set up a proper system to report abuse. We also need the staff to be trained how not to abuse their fucking students, as that seems rather difficult for some of them. We need mental health support, and a better system for older or returning students to get an education. Most of all, every student who walks through those doors must be taught the ethics of magic and research, and understand their responsibilities to use their magical and social power responsibly. Most of the staff also need that lesson.”

“We want those things, too,” said Alphira. “We’ll pass them on to Archmage Beck and see what we can do. Unfortunately, we may have to push for some of those for an extended period of time.”

“We will work the ethics lessons into our transmutation classes,” said Bettina. “At this stage, I would suggest ethics remain integrated into pre-existing magic classes so students cannot avoid it. At least until we have established a culture of understanding around these things.”

“Can I count on your help?” Caleb asked. “Both of you?”

“We will help you,” said Alphira. “I would not drag you into this without offering assistance.”

“Danke,” Caleb replied, softer than he had intended. The fact she had thought it a foregone conclusion that he would have their help in this…

Trust was not easy for Caleb. And the trust he had extended had been broken many, many times. This was a lot.

Caleb finished his coffee and bid Bettina and Alphira farewell. And then he ducked behind the coffee shop, leaned against the wall, braced his hands on his knees, and tried very hard not to hyperventilate.

It was not going well. His hands shook as he fumbled for his copper wire, muscle memory kicking in to settle his fingers as he cast Sending. He decided the recipient at the last second. It had to be someone with some knowledge of the city, but most of his friends didn’t know the city that well. But there was one person who walked past here on her way to work.

“Beauregard. It’s Caleb.” He was out of breath, on the verge of hysterics one way or another. “Behind coffee shop. Come get me? Can’t breathe. Brain bullshit. I need you. Please.”

Beauregard’s voice filtered into his mind immediately. “Caleb? Ah, fuck. We’re coming. Hang in there. Don’t move. I’m bringing… lots of us. I don’t know. You’re okay.” She was panting now. “We’re running. Be there soon.”

Twenty-five words exactly. Nice. It distracted Caleb for about half a second, before he couldn’t breathe again.

Maybe if Caleb knew exactly what had sent him into a spiral, he could have handled it on his own. But he genuinely wasn’t sure, and his brain wasn’t working in any helpful way. It could have been any number of things, or maybe all of them at once. All he could do was bend over and try very hard to breathe. It was going poorly.

So on top of everything, he was frustrated, which did not help in the slightest.

Time was liquid. He was aware of its passing, and he could still count the seconds, minutes. He always counted things. It was one of the few things he could do when his brain felt like a handful of broken glass. And even if he lost count of everything else, he could still count time.

He knew it had been five minutes. He wasn’t sure if it felt longer or shorter than that, despite his knowledge of objective reality. His breaths were a little steadier, but not by much. He was still on his feet, but barely.

He felt dizzy.

“Hey, dude.” Beauregard’s face slid between the ground and Caleb’s gaze. “We’re here.”

Caleb’s arm felt like the bones had fallen out, but somehow he managed to grab her shoulder and squeeze. Beauregard put her hand over his, squeezing back. She gently pushed him upright until he rested his head against the brick behind him. He lifted his face to the sky, breathing deeply. It was already easier, knowing she was here.

“Caleb,” came Veth’s voice, hesitant. A small hand laced their fingers together. “What is it? What happened?”

Caleb’s voice game out even huskier than usual. “Not sure.”

“It just happened?”

Caleb nodded.

Veth squeezed his hand. “Can you walk? We’ll get you home.”

“Caduceus is making tea,” came Jester’s voice. “And we’ll give you lots of hugs if you want them.”

“Let’s hold off on that, all right?” said Fjord. “Let him breathe for a bit.”

Caleb dragged his eyes from the sky to take in who exactly had come. Beauregard, Veth, Jester, Fjord, Yasha. Everyone except Caduceus, who had remained behind to make tea, and Essek, who had to make a calculated risk every time he left the house. Caleb was glad he hadn’t come. He would have felt much worse if Essek had put himself in danger over this.

Yasha stepped forward, offering her arm. “Let’s get you home, okay?”

Caleb pushed off the wall, his legs far too wobbly, and leaned on Yasha. They walked home. Fjord took Caleb’s other side, with Jester bouncing ahead as an obvious distraction. Veth and Beauregard stayed closer, just in front of him. Caleb remembered the Nein surrounding him in Castle Ungebroch, trying to shield him from Trent. Remembering that did not help him calm down in the slightest.

He pressed his face against Yasha’s shoulder, trusting her to guide him, until he could compose himself. He loved them. A whole lot. And they showed him every day how much they loved him.

Fjord took his other hand. “You’re all right, Caleb. We got you.”

****

As soon as they were home, Jester made Caleb a blanket nest on the floor and shoved him in it. Then came Caduceus with chamomile tea. Essek emerged from the kitchen behind him, feet firmly on the floor, and sat on the couch behind Caleb, quietly brushing and braiding his hair.

The rest of the Nein sat on the floor around him. Veth wiggled into the blanket nest with him.

“That was one intense cup of coffee,” said Fjord. “How are you feeling?”

Caleb took a tentative sip of the tea; it wasn’t too hot. He took another sip. “Better.”

“What happened in there?’ asked Beau. “Do I have to murder Alphira?”

“Nein.” Caleb worked through half the tea quicker than Caduceus had probably intended for him. “She surprised me. I did not take it well.”

“Surprised you how?” asked Jester. “Was it a good surprise?”

Caleb shrugged. “Probably. She… misjudged. Invited my old Transmutation professor without telling me, until I was already there. Put me on the back foot. I should have handled it better. Thought I did, until after the meeting. Forgot how to breathe. My old professor was… she didn’t know what Trent was doing, and she seemed upset that she couldn’t help us. That was… a lot. I don’t know if that’s the reason I lost it… but I’m sure it didn’t help.” He closed his eyes and Essek gently tugged on the hair at his temples; he liked the feeling. “Beauregard, did you know Soltryce Academy wanted to hire me?”

“WHAT!?” shrieked Jester; Caleb flinched involuntarily. “Sorry, Caleb.”

“Astrid told me she Archmages were really fucking keen on you, yeah,” said Beauregard. “Did they send Alphira to do it?”

“And my old Transmutation professor, ja.”

“Do you like your old professor?”

“She never did anything horrible to me.”

“That’s really not an answer.”

Caleb shrugged. “I didn’t have time to establish a relationship. I wanted to be an Evocation wizard, and then Trent ruined my life.”

“We can still go kill him if you want,” Yasha said, with complete sincerity.

Beauregard swore under her breath. “I’m sorry, Caleb. I should’ve told you.”

“This is not your fault.”

“No, but maybe you would’ve… I don’t know. I feel bad.”

Caleb sighed. Opened his eyes. Stared hard at her until she looked at him. “Beauregard. Shit like this happens sometimes, even when everything is fine. We all know who is responsible. Please be angry at the right people. I trust you. You know how much that means.”

Essek’s fingernails grazed the back of his neck as he pulled Caleb’s hair into a ponytail, and Caleb had to stifle a moan. Even if it wasn’t a sexual moan (this time), the Nein would have too much fun with it. Or maybe he should have let it happen, just to make Beauregard laugh at him. Too late now.

“Oh, Caleb!” said Jester. “Is that your orgasm face?”

“No,” Essek said, with far more certainty than he had likely intended. If he had intended to speak at all.

Beauregard clapped both hands on her mouth to stifle a bark of laughter.

Jester grinned, and Caleb knew she was doing this very much on purpose to lighten the mood. “Oh, I bet you know what his orgasm face looks like, Essek!”

Caleb could almost hear Essek’s eye-roll. Essek calmly tucked Caleb’s two side braids into the ponytail, running his fingers through the ponytail itself to loosen any remaining tangles.

“I appreciate your keen interest in this area, Jester,” Essek said primly. “I am afraid I am not the type to--oh, what is the phrase in common?--kiss and tell.” He paused, but there was something the way he held his breath that indicated he was not nearly finished. “If you wish to find out for yourself, I would recommend you ask him nicely. If Fjord does not mind, of course. Or perhaps you could invite him along. I believe Caleb has experience in that area.”

Caleb knew his face was redder than his hair, because every part of his flashed burning hot. He had never actually told Essek he had a crush on Jester, or that he thought Fjord was hot, and Caleb was pretty fucking certain Essek would not have gone there if he had known. Caleb may have offhandedly mentioned his experience with threesomes, though.

Luckily, the Nein were distracted by Essek making possibly the crassest joke he had made in his life, instead of Caleb blushing so hard his skin was about to start sizzling.

“Holy fuck, dude,” Beauregard breathed.

“Who are you and what have you done with our Essek?” said Veth, waving a crossbow bolt in the air. “Tell us quick: what is your favourite food?”

“Well, I can assure you it is not soup.”

“I knew it! Essek’s an imposter!”

“Caleb, what did you do to him?” said Beauregard. “I know you’ve got some serious game, but what the shit.”

Jester, in the meantime, had collapsed on the floor, cackling uncontrollably at the whole thing. Fjord’s face was in his hands, and the tips of his ears were red. Yasha was snickering quietly. Caduceus calmly poured Caleb more tea.

“What can I say?” Caleb said, pretending he wasn’t burning up from embarrassment. “I’m a wizard magnet.”

Beauregard groaned loudly. “We know, Caleb. We know you’ve fucked more than anyone in this group except me. I hate this. I hate that I know this about you.”

“That is very sad, Beauregard. I was a teenager the last time I was in a serious relationship.”

“Yeah, awkward pubescent Caleb had more game than most of this fully-grown group put together. You’re not helping.”

Jester recovered enough from her laughter to sit up, still snickering. “I bet you were really handsome, Caleb.”

“Of course he was!” Veth screeched. “He’s always handsome.”

“I was a good talker,” said Caleb. “That helped.” He had never shared how he, Astrid and Wulf had come together romantically, and it would definitely kill the mood to tell them it was because they were locked in a freezing cold tower and had to huddle together for warmth. He kept that to himself.

“You’re still a good talker when you want to be,” said Beauregard. “It’s annoying.”

“It’s very impressive,” Yasha added.

“You’re very charming, Cay,” said Veth. “Fjord could learn a thing or two.”

“Fjord does just fine on his own,” Caleb said, because she was starting to exaggerate again. Her faith in him was eternally lovely, but he didn’t like it when it ran the risk of putting others in the Nein down.

Essek kept running his fingers through Caleb’s ponytail and adjusting the braids. There was no practical purpose to it. They both just liked it.

The room settled after the chaos of Essek displaying once again his unique sense of humour: fucking with the Nein. Beauregard crashed the hardest, already looking miserable again.

Caleb threw a cushion at her. “Stop it. I called you for a reason. I am not upset with you.”

Beauregard pressed her hands over the entirety of her face and screamed into them. Caleb threw another cushion. And then he telekinetically pulled them back and threw them at her repeatedly with magic. Childish? Yes. Effective? Also yes.

It was satisfying to watch Beauregard get annoyed and use her monk shit to snatch flying cushions from the air.

“Okay, fine! I don’t feel bad for you anymore!” And she launched herself at him, smacking him repeatedly with the cushions until he curled into a ball and begged for mercy.

****

Caleb was a little tired from his episode earlier, but not so tired that he would dare miss out on furniture shopping when Jester and Caduceus were so excited about it. He trusted them to balance each other out and come up with a good aesthetic after the outfits they had procured for the party in Nicodranas… where they ended up kidnapping a disguised Essek and forcing him to confess his sins. And Beauregard was high on True Sight. What a fucking night that had been.

Beauregard and Fjord headed out to the Cobalt Soul Archive to retrieve Kingsley from Nicodanas; he’d never been to the Rexxentrum markets before. It gave Caleb a few extra minutes to recover, though in truth he was as okay as he was going to be.

Now that he could think clearly again, he was able to dissect what had happened. The shock of seeing Professor Weber after so long, and with little warning, had rattled him from the beginning. And, of course, any talk of Trent ran the risk of triggering him, but then Bettina had expressed more remorse for not helping him than anyone else in the Assembly ever had the grace to do. Ludinus was notoriously full of shit, and Caleb had come to expect that from anyone even tangentially involved with the Assembly (except perhaps Pumat).

Caleb was not used to anyone in that place treating him with simple, unfiltered human compassion. Even Astrid and Wulf were a little detached from the pain they had suffered together, and what they had been through separately. He knew that detachment was a matter of survival for them, and he did not resent them for it.

Bettina’s raw grief for his suffering had affected him far more deeply than he could ever have anticipated.

Essek sat on the couch with Caleb’s head in his lap, playing with the baby hairs that had already escaped his ponytail, while the Nein prepared to head out. “You look tired,” he said softly.

“This morning was a lot. I’ll be all right.”

“Fine, but I am coming with you.”

“Essek.” Caleb had taken this tone with him many times in Aeor. It meant Essek, what the fuck? It had taken a lot for Caleb to say his name like that, given his own notorious lack of impulse control around magic items. Caleb had never gotten his hands on that fucking emerald. He was still bitter about it. But he was finding a new use for the tone, because Essek was normally a cautious person, except when he felt the people he loved needed him. Caleb especially.

“I am safer in a group than I would be here alone.” Essek smiled ruefully. “Besides, I have chosen a disguise already. You should not let my brilliance go to waste.”

“You make a solid argument.”

“I know.” Essek smirked. “You are, however, welcome to tell me how brilliant I am.”

Veth was on the floor nearby, slowly copying a few of Caleb’s first level spells into her own spellbook. “Is this how wizards flirt?”

“The part we do in front of other people, ja,” said Caleb.

Jester, lying on her stomach on the other side of the room, with her sketchbook, piped up. “What about the secret flirting that you don’t let us see?”

“We mostly discuss complex existential matters,” Essek replied.

“And dissect each other’s breakdowns,” Caleb muttered, not entirely meaning to voice it but not trying particularly hard to restrain himself. Well, it was out in the world now. May as well keep digging. “We have a lot of material.”

Yasha popped her head out of the kitchen. “That sounds very intense.”

“Yeah,” said Veth, “I just tell Yeza he has a nice ass and we get down to business.”

“Each to their own,” Essek said mildly, casting prestidigitation on Caleb’s hair to smooth it down after his fussing.

The door flew open, and Caleb sat bolt upright before Kingsley strutted inside in a way that was a little too close to Mollymauk for Caleb to handle in his current state. But he was used to it by now. It didn’t overtake him like it may have months ago.

“I can’t believe you almost went shopping without me,” Kingsley said, his tail swishing to slap Beauregard in the face. She batted it away from her.

“Ugh, we should’ve left you in the smutty book shop where we found you.”

“Find anything good?” asked Jester, taking the words right out of Caleb’s mouth.

Kingsley shrugged. “How the fuck would I know?”

“I would bring you to the one in Rexxentrum and show you,” said Caleb, “but they sadly turned it into a coffee shop.”

“Come on, Caleb,” said Jester. “This city is huge. There has to be another one. Ooh, you could ask Astrid next time you see her!”

Kingsley snickered at that.

“What’s so funny?”

“Astrid. Really.”

“Hey, Caleb’s really into smut,” said Jester. “He had to learn it from somewhere.”

“I am leaving this conversation,” said Caleb, heading for the door. “Are you coming?”

“Maybe if you find me some good smut, Magic Man.” Kingsley’s tail whipped around Caleb’s wrist, just for a second. Every inhabitant of that body had flirted with Caleb at some point. It was familiar, in a way Caleb found more comforting than most of Kingsley’s Molly-like mannerisms.

“Okay, who the fuck taught Kingsley about sex,” Beauregard grumbled as the rest of the Nein filed out of the house.

“He asked,” Fjord replied, his voice shooting up an octave as it did when he panicked.

Veth snorted. “Listen, King. When two people love each other very much…”

“Sometimes more than two,” Caleb added.

“Or sometimes when you love yourself very much,” said Veth.

Kingsley didn’t pay much heed to Veth’s final addition, dancing up to Caleb’s side and giving him an eyebrow. “Oh, that sounds like a story. Any advice?”

“Don’t trauma-bond and end up in a codependent relationship,” Caleb replied. “The sex is not worth it.”

“I mean, Astrid and Wulf are pret-ty hot,” said Jester.

“Ja, like putting your hand in an open flame.”

Beauregard slid up to Caleb’s other side. “Sometimes you worry me, man.”

“I am officially asking Caleb for relationship advice in the future,” said Kingsley. “I don’t know much, but I know I’d rather ask a man who knows what not to do.”

Caleb didn’t know what to say to that, so he circled back to the original topic. “I will ask Wulf about the smut shop next time I see him.” Wulf was just as awkward as Caleb most of the time. He only seemed smooth because he was built like a brick shithouse and had a deep voice. It would be less complicated than trying to ask Astrid. He wasn’t even sure Wulf read smut anymore. Or if Caleb wanted to know something like that about an ex he absolutely should not touch again.

Maybe they could just go to Zadash instead. Avoid the conversation entirely. Next time, maybe.

He kept walking towards the market.

[ev-pierce-writes]

Home

The Heir Chapter 2

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 9K

Notes: This chapter jumps back in time a bit from Din's perspective, giving us a glance into his crash landing on Mandalore and his first impressions of You. Mostly just a lot of feels (or the suppressing thereof).

---

"Mando."

Where was that voice coming from?

"Mando. Come on, wake up."

The hiss of hydraulics and Din's helmet lifted, forcing him to squint his eyes while trying to make out the face above him. The glare of a hot desert sun obscured its features and the pounding in Din's head made it difficult to focus.

"Help me get him on the speeder."

Arms under his legs and armpits lifted Din and placed him gently on a hard seat. He slouched forward, unable to sit up straight, the pain so great and so extensive it was hard to pinpoint exactly what was broken or bruised. The vehicle took off across the desert with a lurch, spraying sand in its wake.

A hot wind burned against Din's face, further drying his mouth and making it hard to keep his eyes open. He drifted in and out of consciousness, unaware of how long they sped over the sandy terrain.

Maybe only minutes passed, maybe hours. Eventually, the speeder entered one of the large domes that had been visible from space. Inside it was much cooler and darker, a relief after the harshness of Mandalore's surface. Din continued to drift in and out, dehydrated and covered in sand, unable to comprehend if he was safe. He was too concussed to take in his surroundings or catalog his injuries. Finally, exhaustion hit him like a mudhorn to the chest, and Din fell hard and fast into a deep sleep.

When he awoke, his helmet, armor, and underclothes were removed, leaving him nearly naked. Panic seized at Din's throat and he sat up quickly, surveying the situation and already planning his escape route. In this recently awoken state, Din couldn't remember where he was or what he had been doing. His thoughts flew immediately to the kid, his instinct telling him to find the child, whatever the cost. But then he noticed a neat pile at the end of the bed, beskar stacked alongside his clothes and helmet, and the terror eased.

He was on Mandalore. Din steadied his breathing and dressed. This was where he was meant to be. The kid was safe, Moff Gideon was defeated, the Darksaber was his.

The Darksaber. Din prayed to the Maker that it had survived the wreck. Or maybe not. At least that would have rid him of this devastating responsibility. But there it was, alongside his blaster and spear, hooked into its slot on his belt. The little metal ball was there as well, and Din breathed a final sigh of relief.

He was okay. For farrik's sake, he was okay and he could take a moment to reorient himself. Din looked around, taking in the small bed he had awoken upon, the gray walls of the room, the solid stone of the floor beneath his feet. He seemed to be in some type of infirmary. He reached his arms over his head and stretched out his neck, feeling the lingering pain of broken ribs and compressed vertebrae. Thank the Maker for bacta shots; he probably would have died without them. But even now, his age made it difficult to heal. He would be feeling this for a while.

Din lifted his helmet, ready to place it on his head, but he paused. He caught a glimpse of his face in the reflection of the beskar, of exhaustion, worry, and sadness staring back at him. He wasn't used to seeing his own face so much or reading his own emotions, and it felt like a stranger was glaring back, not his own eyes. He felt removed from the man in the reflection, the man with the scar across his nose, still not faded from the fateful day a droid had saved his life.

Was this the face the child had touched with his tiny hands? Could he love this face, truly?

Din shoved the helmet on before he could linger on his reflection any longer and stepped out of the small infirmary.

The dome was even larger on the inside than he had anticipated. He stood on a walkway that appeared to circle the entire structure, and more paths crisscrossed different layers of the dome, making for a giant maze. From this vantage point, Din could look down to the ground level, which was left open to the floors above. It was incredibly quiet. A few people meandered below, looking like ants from this angle, but not nearly as many as he would have expected in such a large structure. The place felt deserted.

Din began to make his way around the circle, looking for an elevator or some stairs to take him to the ground floor where most people seemed to be. The ache in his ribs had not eased and he found walking to be incredibly difficult. Din's hips and legs had taken much of the impact of the crash, making every movement a painful one. He didn't make it far before a voice stopped him.

"Woah, there Mando, you need to sit down."

The voice came from behind him, unmodulated, soft, old. Din turned to find an ancient woman hobbling toward him. White-haired and wrinkled, skin tanned and spotted from the sun, the woman was not what Din had expected from the locals of Mandalore. And yet she was unmistakably a Mandalorian, strong, back straight as a rod, with the signet of her clan sewn into the sleeve of her shirt.

How humiliating, being helped into a chair by someone who was twice his age. But Din did not complain.

"You need to eat," she said, pulling him into a side chamber and sitting him down at a table. "You're going to hurt for a while. Bacta isn't easy to come by around here and we gave you as much as we could afford. The rest of the healing you're going to have to do on your own."

A bowl of broth appeared before Din and then the old woman sat across from him, taking in his appearance and the beskar of his armor.

"It's been many years since I saw that much beskar on one warrior. What is your name, Mando?"

Din set his helmet on the table and took a sip of the broth. He wasn't sure what it was meant to be made of. It mostly tasted like water.

"I am Din Djarin. Clan Mudhorn." Here he paused, hesitating. "Child of the Watch."

Din wasn't sure how much the old woman knew. Did she recognize the Darksaber at his hip, know the history of his upbringing? If she did, she didn't let on, and Din felt it best not to explain any further. Maybe it was best to keep quiet about his claim to the throne for now.

"My name is Yollil Darron, Clan Kryze. You must be searching for answers," the old woman said. "Is that why you have come? That was quite an entrance to make, crashing through the atmosphere like that."

"There was nowhere to land. Is there no port? No shipyard?"

Yollil chuckled softly. "There is no need when no ships come and go."

"None?"

"Occasionally. Rarely. But those can't be the answers you came here for."

Yollil was right. Din finished his broth before he continued, choosing his words carefully. "There are so few people here. What happened?"

"Ah, child, that is several questions all rolled into one."

"I have time."

Yollil smiled knowingly. "I will start at the beginning then," she said. "The Children of the Watch have long been separated from the Mand'alor, but the wars started before them."

---

The Mandalorian's holomessage flickered before you. You'd watched it on repeat four times now. Listened to it again and again in an attempt to decipher some hidden meaning in his words. Even virtually, the man seemed to fill the space, leaving you breathless. Thoughts of how he'd made you feel last night, even though he was entirely in your head, rushed through your brain. But you tamped them down.

"When you see this message, I'll be gone already. I need to make contact with others scattered across the galaxy." Maybe it was your imagination, or the modulation of his voice through the helmet, but this is where his resolve would begin to waver, each time you watched, each time seeming more and more reluctant to have gone.

"You-- I didn't--." A sigh.

"There's still a lot to do. And I can't do it alone. I'm sure I'll need your help." I'm sure I'll see you again. I want to see you again. You needed to stop putting words in his mouth but with each iteration, it seemed even more like the truth.

You scolded yourself for trying to find a reason to get attached, for searching his words for some type of acknowledgment that he felt the same way. Mandalorians were restless beings, travelers with no home. It was irrational and irresponsible to expect anything more from him. You needed to rein in your temptation. And yet--

Finally, you shut the holopuck off, putting it in the drawer of your desk for safekeeping.

---

"There are twelve other domes on Mandalore," Yollil explained as she guided you slowly around in a tour of the structure. "Many are divided by clan. Tensions run high, but we abandoned the fighting long ago though. It's much easier to survive when you are unified as a larger group. Or at least the illusion of conciliation."

As Din had finished his watery broth, Yollil had explained the history of the Mand'alor, how civil war had erupted over loyalties to the Empire, over who would inherit the throne. Eventually, the group of religious zealots, the Children of the Watch, had split, leaving the planet entirely to start anew, recruiting foundlings from across the galaxy and training them in the original way of the Mand'alor. Those who remained warred one another to ruin, eventually destroying what was left of the planet and retreating to the safety of the domes.

It was becoming apparent to Din that his greatest challenge might be uniting the fractured clans.

Yollil showed you the greenhouses, the armory, the living quarters. Most were nearly empty, dormant as an abandoned pollinator hive.

"About four times a revolution we get a shipment of supplies, distributed among the clans. It's barely enough to sustain us but we have little to give in return. It's the best we can do."

"Who brings the supplies?"

"The Queendom of Nhora. Their ships land in the desert, unload and reload, and are gone." Nhora. A sign of hope in the darkness. "The crew have been asking about a certain Mandalorian. Have you heard?"

Din shook his head and Yollil continued. "They say the queen is in search of the Mandalorian who claimed the Darksaber. Perhaps you know of him."

Din stopped dead in his tracks. So much for staying discreet. The old woman gazed knowingly at the helmet before her, recognizing without needing to see the expression on his face that Din was the Mandalorian this Nhoran queen was searching for.

It could have been a trap. Or it could be an opportunity. Next time the ships came, Din would be leaving with them as well.

---

Twenty-six years. That's how long you'd been alive. Twenty-six years today, to be exact, and eight of them spent as queen.

The Warming was arriving in the northern hemisphere of Nhora, signaling the approaching farming season as well as all the celebrations that came along with it. Fertility festivals, diplomatic dinners, and of course, your birthday. Though your focus should have been on supply distribution and preparations for religious ceremonies, your thoughts lingered on the somber face that graced your dreams nearly every night.

You wanted nothing more than to ditch your own birthday party. They were always the same, too much attention trained on you, on what you wore, on who you spoke to. No one was safe from court gossip, not even you, and by tomorrow every woman on Nhora would be styling their hair the way yours was tonight.

You preferred solitude and quiet, which you would not get tonight. Djarin would like solitude and quiet too, you thought. But you suppressed the thought as quickly as it had come.

"Knock knock," Zena called. She had a tendency to enter and then ask for permission afterward. You were laying on your bed, spread out like a star, avoiding getting up to get dressed.

"If I asked you to, would you put on my clothes and pretend to be me for the night?" you asked without sitting up. It was only a half sarcastic request.

"We aren't twelve anymore, Your Majesty. We can't get away with switching places like we used to."

"We could totally do it, Zena. And then I could not deal with any of it and you can be queen for a night." You and Zena had actually managed it successfully before, trading places without anyone noticing. But she was right, that was years ago and you looked too different now.

Zena flopped onto the bed next to you. "This isn't very regal of us is it, contemplating ditching parties and laying in bed instead," she said.

You were silent for a moment, thinking back on the years before your coronation where the two of you had spent your days doing that exact thing. You'd known Zena since the Clone Wars, since before the attack, since before your mother and sister had died. And then the attack had come, and suddenly she was all you had, and it only seemed natural that she would become your most trusted advisor.

And then she was saying your name, your real name, calling you back to your body and pulling you from your reverie. She knew where you drifted in moments like this, to the thoughts of what life would have been if they were all still alive, if you weren't queen, and the world was yours to explore. "Come on, we can do it together."

The party, or parties in this case, since the festivities lasted over a week, usually culminated in a large banquet. It was customary to feed the entire city for free on your birthday, which you didn't mind. You liked that part, in fact, seeing the prosperity and joy of your people, the excitement as temperatures rose and crops were planted.

What you did mind was having to deal with all the suitors who found it perfect timing to come up to you while you were just trying to enjoy some roasted cherfer meat.

You watched as one particularly bold man approached your table in the banquet hall, trailed by what appeared to be several personal guards. You leaned over and whispered into Zena's ear.

"I don't remember inviting him to my party. I'll bet twenty credits he's a prince from Coruscant. Thirty says he'll ask for my hand in marriage."

"Be polite, You Majesty," Zena said, but she was already smiling and shaking your hand. "I'll give you forty credits if you scare the Dank Farrik out of him."

Zena may have been your best advisor, but she was also your worst instigator.

"Your Majesty," the young man bellowed as he kneeled before you. He was tall and barrel-chested, yet soft and pudgy looking. A shock of yellow blond hair was combed across his already balding head. Barely touching his knee to the ground before standing again, he took your hand and pressed a horrifically wet kiss to your knuckles. And yet, despite the averse sensation, your thoughts drifted toward the Mandalorian, kneeling before you as well, head bowed in respect and gloved hand smoothing yours. The comparison happened before you could stop yourself and suddenly you sized up every man in the room against him. No one compared.

Be polite. Be polite. You barely held back a gag as you discreetly wiped the back of your hand against your skirt.

"And who do I have the pleasure of meeting on this fine evening?" you asked sweetly, lacing your words with the saccharine tone that men liked. You would at least have some fun with this.

"Prince Adbel of Coruscant, at your service." You and Zena glanced at one another knowingly. Twenty credits down.

"Of Coruscant, you say? How many princes there must be on that... large, beautiful planet."

Prince Adbel's face fell, but only for a moment. You applauded his ability to pull the arrogant, smug look right back onto his face even as you bruised his ego.

"Yes, Coruscant is charming. But Nhora far surpasses her in natural beauty. I could pass many revolutions here and never tire of her rolling hills."

Nhora was as flat as a bantha's foot. But you had to give it to him, he was really putting on the charm. Prince Adbel was a slick talker.

"What brings you to Nhora?" you asked. "And on my birthday, no less."

"Straight to business," he replied with an awkward wink. "I like that. How joyful a day, and yet how lonely you look upon your throne, with no one to share it."

You pretended to not know where he was going with this line of thinking. "Lonely? I have the best advisors in the galaxy," you said, squeezing Zena's hand tightly to hold back her laugh and yours.

"No doubt, no doubt. But perhaps you are in need of a man by your side, to rule along with you?"

You stayed silent, waiting for him to say the words that would earn you thirty credits tonight.

"What I mean is, perhaps I could offer my hand to Your Royal Highness."

"In marriage?"

"In marriage."

Score.

Now you were upping the game. Those forty credits would be yours. But how to shock the poor man the best. He would need to be punished for his insolence in not researching Nhoran culture before so blatantly proposing marriage to a woman who had no need for it.

"Have you studied our customs, Prince Adbel?" you asked.

The pale man somehow paled even further. "Of course," he lied.

"Then you'll know what such an offer entails. First, you must travel to the plains and retrieve for me the egg of the nhora serpent. It is a difficult journey. Few survive. She will protect her young with her life, so you must bring warriors who are prepared to die for you, otherwise, you will fail." Prince Adbel's guards were starting to look as nervous as him. But you continued. "Then, you must chop off the fourth finger on your left hand as an offering to the Maker. Only then can our union be blessed."

That one got to him. Should you keep going? This was too fun, and Zena seemed to think so as well. "Lastly, you will need to share me with fifteen other men. Are you capable of that? It is tradition to take many husbands in Nhora, and the queen is no exception."

Prince Adbel nearly fainted. He gulped, a heroic attempt to suppress his fear, before taking a step back from you and nearly hiding behind his guards. "Perhaps... I should reconsider before taking such a serious oath."

"Or perhaps it would do you better to understand the culture of a people you so plainly desire to rule over. Nhoran queens do not marry, Prince Adbel. They never have, and they likely never will." You stood from your seat. And though the prince towered over you, he flinched from your hardened gaze. You knew you were probably taking it a bit too far, but you wanted to put the overconfident egotistical man in his place. "Men only distract. They manipulate. They conquer through fear rather than join through peace. I doubt that you are the exception."

And with that, the prince was gone, fleeing from your presence, his guards on his heels. Your words hadn't been entirely true. Plenty of honorable men made of your group of advisors and counselors, but the best of them knew where they stood.

"Best forty credits ever spent," Zena said with a laugh. "Although part of me is worried you're distracted already."

"Distracted? What on Nhora are you implying, Zena?" You knew what she was implying. You knew it was about--

"The Mandalorian has you in a twist, does he not? Any other day you would have at least considered sleeping with him." It was a teasing jab, though not entirely exaggerated.

"I simply look forward to pursuing a trade agreement with him." At least that's what you were trying to convince yourself, laying in bed night after night, thinking of him.

"You look forward to seeing him again, Your Majesty."

You narrowed your eyes at Zena, trying to appear intimidating. It never worked with her. "Hand over my credits, Royal Advisor."

Zena shook her head. You weren't convincing her, or yourself.

---

The royal crest painted across the side of the Nhoran freighter ships proudly displayed her wealth and beauty. They were less than subtle, Din thought.

He had waited several weeks for the starships to arrive, gathering information and gleaning intelligence about what he was up against. But the information varied widely and it was hard to tell what was truth and what was fiction. The elder Mandalorians described a brutal and ruthless ruler, one who controlled her people through fear and projected an image of prosperity to disguise rampant abuse of power.

Based on Yollil's stories, that sounded more like a reflection of Mand'alor history than an accurate depiction of Nhora.

Others, the younger ones, refused to even believe the queen existed. No one ever saw her, they postulated, unless it was at government functions or festivals. They figured she was just some figurehead, put in place to disguise the real government that controlled the trade routes of the mid and outer rims.

It was useless. He would have to find out for himself. And he had a plan.

According to Yollil and a few of the others who lived in the dome, the freighters were manned completely by a live crew. Not a single droid in sight. And while that meant Din could try to talk his way onto the ship, he also couldn't just resort to outright violence and take out everyone on board. He had to be diplomatic.

The plan was this. Sneak aboard during the short period the freighters spent on the ground, loading and unloading, and try not to get caught. But if he did, Din would have to talk his way out of it. He hoped to avoid too much talking.

Getting on the ship turned out to be the easy part. Staying on was hard.

The crew members of the ship he'd selected to hitch a ride on did not hesitate to open fire. He was discovered pretty quickly among the cargo and without giving him a chance to explain, Din found himself ass down in the sand, watching the ship take off. Damn it.

Sure, he could have gone in with a bit more violence, but he was trying to make friends, not enemies. Time for Plan B.

Powering up the thrusters of his jetpack, he shot off into the atmosphere, following close behind the departing freighter. He landed with a thump along the outer walkway of the ship, hitting the side a bit harder than he'd intended. Great, more bruises to add to his growing collection. Din ripped the exterior door open, knowing it would set off alarms throughout the ship. But discretion was no longer his priority.

There couldn't have been that many crew members on this ship, and yet they just kept coming. Din held back, only sending them into a nice temporary sleep with a knock to the head, rather than take them out one by one. He could have. Part of him wanted to. But he reminded himself that these were just people, doing their best, just like him.

Din worked his way toward the bridge, leaving a pile of unconscious bodies in his wake. The ship's upper deck was a jumble of hallways that looped back and forth on one another and he felt sure he made a few circles before finding what he was looking for. When he arrived, one final crew member stood, brave and terrified, before the doors to the control center.

"Open the door and I won't hurt you."

It was worth a shot. No success. The poor man aimed his blaster, the shots pinging off of Din's beskar. Alright, if that's how he wanted to do this. With calculated aim, Din fired his whipcord, wrapping it around the man's legs and hauling him off his feet.

Din grabbed the man around the neck, pointed his blaster at his head, and slammed the door-open button with his foot, ready to face whatever lay on the other side.

Several more terrified navigators and a couple of blasters trained at Din's head. As expected.

"Look, I'm not here to hurt you. Even though I could. I just want to speak to your queen." Silence hung heavy in the bridge. Even the man Din had taken hostage stilled under his grip. "Take me to her and I promise I won't harm you."

The captain of the ship stared at Din as if he'd just asked him to make Arvala-7 into a rainforest. For a moment Din almost thought those young Mandalorians had been correct, that there was no real queen. But then the captain relented.

"Well, you've taken out most of my ship already. And Her Majesty doesn't object to visitors. But you'll have to stay in the cargo hold."

Din could deal with that.

At least he thought he could. And then the trip through hyperspace turned out to be not hours but over a day. He was tired, in pain, and incredibly hungry. The best Mandalore had to offer was weak broth and yellowish vegetables. Din hadn't had a real meal in what felt like months. Though he tried to sleep through his hunger, he was awoken by the painful pangs of an angry stomach. Above him, the crew was probably having a meal, though he doubted they would want to invite up the man who'd knocked them out one by one.

Finally, after a restless sleep, the sound of footsteps and a voice entered the cargo hold to let Din know they were making the jump out of hyperspace and approaching Nhora. "Her Majesty will receive you at the palace. Though I recommend leaving your weapons behind you. She prizes peace above all else."

The ship landed with a jolt. Din hadn't had access to any windows aboard the ship, so this experience of Nhora was his first. As the loading hatch opened, he discovered with awe a cool, lush, and colorful planet. Though his helmet and armor dulled the sensations of climate and weather to his skin, the temperature here was significantly more comfortable than on Mandalore.

Din stepped from the ship, not bothering to bid the captain farewell, and wandered into Nhora's port. At first, he weaved through only ships, big and small. But eventually, it evolved slowly into a marketplace, lined with stalls filled with fresh fruits and vegetables, smoked meats, and beautifully handcrafted items.

Above, the sun was tinged with warmth, indicative of an approaching warm season. But a soft breeze drifted through the market, keeping the air cool and dry. Around him, Din listened to the chatter of people, all species and languages, bartering and negotiating prices, or just holding an easy conversation. It was incredibly calm and peaceful, with the easy air of a people who did not fear for their lives at every waking moment.

Already, Din could tell all the rumors about Nhora had been wrong.

But how to find the queen? That turned out to be an easier job than he expected. Spread across the skyline was a glittering city with one building obviously much taller than the rest. He headed in that direction, pausing only momentarily at a stall that was selling the most delicious food he'd ever smelled. But there was no time to stop and eat.

The walk was short, along a smoothly paved path that crisscrossed over several canals dug through the center of the market. This must have been their main source of transport, and Din watched from the top of a bridge as a small boat floated downstream below him. It was almost too picturesque and he found himself doubting if this was entirely real.

And yet it was. The palace was bustling with people, moving about in small groups or sitting beneath the tall stone columns. They spoke easily and freely, but with a polite hush that suggested a reverent atmosphere. The lower level appeared to function as a library, with books lining floor-to-ceiling shelves and people studying at tables. Free and open knowledge, it was a novel idea.

No guards accosted him. No one asked where he was going. A few people stared as he went by, but the guards stationed at the main doors let him through, though again letting him know to check his weapons at the guard station. He easily avoided this inconvenience, slipping around groups of people and hiding behind a column as another guard passed. Sure, he could have been civil and done as he was asked, but it didn't seem prudent to have to explain that yes, he was a Mandalorian and yes, this was the Darksaber, and no, he couldn't just check it into a locker with a four-digit code.

At last, up a sweeping staircase and the throne room came into sight. This part of the palace was quieter than the rest, having a more serious and somber mood than the lightness of the lower levels. Din stepped in the throne room and gazed up, unable to suppress the urge to gape in awe at the vaulted ceilings and colorful murals that lined the walls.

The queen, however, was not on her throne and not in the reception hall. So Din resigned to wait and stood before one of the grand windows that cast a glowing light onto the marble floors. The view was spectacular, even from behind the filter of his visor, looking out upon the maze of stalls of the market, the glistening blue canals, and the arriving and departing freighter ships. Beyond the bustle of the city Din could just barely make out flat plains under a setting sun, green and lush and reaching farther than the eye could see.

The world glowed.

Din's helmet picked up voices of discussion and he amplified the sounds, hearing the soft speech of a woman along with the footsteps of several other people. The queen was coming, and not alone.

And then he saw you. You entered the throne room and if the world was glowing before it now positively radiated like the sun. You were dressed in lavender and gold and somehow existed on two planes at once, both as natural as the lush plains of Nhora and as otherworldly as the stars that glittered above, tied to the earth but dancing through outer space. Din had never met an angel, only heard stories of their alluring beauty that trapped spacefarers in their orbit for eternity. Now, standing face to face with a pure embodiment of warmth and light, the stories didn't seem so outrageous after all.

This was a new feeling, one he'd never felt before. Oh, Maker, Din's heart was in trouble.

---

The doors of the throne room opened. Zena entered leading a little green head, wobbling atop a teetering body. "Look who interrupted my sparring practice. Nearly got his little hands chopped off."

"Grogu," you exclaimed with a broad smile spreading across your face. You found yourself intensely happy to see the wrinkly alien baby and reached down to place him on your lap. He immediately reached out to grasp at the metal ball hanging from your neck. Something had shifted since you'd met the Mandalorian, and now with the knowledge of their deep bond, your heart softened with tenderness for the child as you recalled his father.

"So, little one, what have you learned since you went away?"

The child looked up at you with a coo and then giggled, sticking his hands out to demonstrate whatever strange mind-bending trick he'd learned this month. What you didn't expect was to see one of your guards slowly go sliding from his post beside your throne toward the windows. You realized Grogu was the one moving him, though not very quickly and with a lot of effort, across the stone floor. With a grunt, the guard bumped gently into the window. It couldn't have hurt very much, but it was probably a strange sensation. He slid to the ground, not sure how to react.

"Oh, Maker, are you alright Ming?" you asked, barely containing a laugh.

Ming held up a hand. "Yes, yes, fine Your Majesty."

"Grogu, we only do those kinds of things to bad people, not people we like."

You weren't sure why you spoke to the child as if he were an adult, but somehow you felt he understand. He looked up at you again but this time with a pout, his bottom lip sticking out and quivering, ready to cry.

"Oh, alright little one, let's not have that now.  Here, how about some good news. I met your father. He was here."

That did the trick. The big brown eyes blinked and the giant ears flicked in recognition. Grogu grumbled out some garbled baby talk that sounded suspiciously like 'Din.' It could have been your imagination.

"You met the Mandalorian?" Luke Skywalker entered the throne room, prepared for his departure already. "So that's why you didn't accost me for information as soon as I stepped foot in here."

"I have a good feeling about him, Skywalker. What's that thing you're always talking about, bringing balance to the force? He is balanced. I can feel it."

"So you're a force detector now?" Zena said with a barely concealed laugh.

"He found the child for a reason," Skywalker replied. "The force is not to be underestimated."

That was for sure. A pint-sized kid had just moved a full-grown man across the room with his mind. That was nothing to be played with.

"I worry though, Your Majesty, that he will attract some less than welcome individuals to your planet if he returns. Bo-Katan feels she is the rightful heir to the throne, and I doubt she'll give up on it so easily. If she thinks you're his ally, I doubt she'll be very forgiving."

"Bo-Katan?" Zena questioned. You felt Grogu sink further into your robes at the sound of the name.

"Another Mandalorian. Fiercely loyal to her planet but not so much to those who would dare challenge her or her power. She prefers martial law to pacifism and has a dubious history with the Sith and the Empire. In the end, there's only one thing she wants, the Darksaber."

---

Din's thoughts drifted back to that first meeting as he punched in the coordinates for Corellia, the last planet he had any desire to visit. He wanted to look upon your glittering city, wander through the market, feel the cool breeze creep under his armor. Or even just sit across from you again and listen to you ramble about the things you loved, namely Grogu. Din realized, before you would, that there was a soft spot in your heart for the kid.

As the ship took off from the loading dock, Din watched the Nhoran moons set, wondering if you were doing the same. You're welcome to stay here as long as you need. But he couldn't. Din was a wanderer, a traveler, with no place to call home and no intention of finding one. But you--

Corellia. Right now there was just Corellia. For many years he'd avoided chasing down a bounty on that planet. Unfortunately, it wasn't going to stay that way. The polluted, cloudy, soggy planet was one Din preferred to avoid. The excessive rain made it difficult to track footprints and there was always someone who needed paying off if he was going to get any information. Bounties on Corellia took twice as long to catch, simply because it was so full of crime itself.

Except this time it wasn't a bounty Din was chasing, but a Mandalorian. So three times as long, he figured.

And he was right. The Mandalorian remained hidden, probably because he knew he was being chased. Din passed weeks in Coronet City, tracking muddied footprints here and there. Begrudgingly, he took on some extra bounties, just to make enough credits to keep his ship parked at the loading dock.

Week four came and went. Today's bounty had been particularly flighty, doing his best to remain just out of Din's reach. He caught him, eventually, but not before a muddy chase through the rainforest. Now, back on his ship, Din hardly noticed the flashing red light on his communicator, telling him he had an incoming message. It wasn't until he'd pulled off his mud-streaked armor and sat down heavily in the pilot's seat that it caught his attention.

The hologram flickered to life.

"Djarin, I hope you're well." He almost didn't recognize you without your royal robes, hair loose and drifting about your shoulders. But your voice, though distorted by thousands of lightyears of space, was unmistakably yours. With surprise, Din found himself instantly relaxed, the soothing sound raising heat to his skin. You'd barely said anything but he longed to hear more.

"I'm not sure where you are, or if this message will reach you." You paused, suddenly distracted by something happening out of view and waving your hands to quiet something down.

"Hush, please, I'm speaking," you said off to the side.

You refocused with a deep breath. "Urgent news has reached me through my trade routes. Bo-Katan has landed on Mandalore. She brings an army and is searching for you. I'm not sure how many she's gathered or how she earned their trust. But it won't be long before she traces your path here. There's no need to worry, it would be foolish to attack Nhora but I'm afraid of what might happen if you do return to Mandalore. Bo-Katan will-- for Maker's sake child I'm trying to speak."

You stopped again, bending over to address the tiny hands grabbing at the leg of your pants. A muted voice garbled some indiscernible words. "I know it's for Din. I know. Come here."

You stood again, this time with the child in your arms. Grogu. He was there, with you, in your arms. "Anyways, be careful, please. And send word if you need anything. Or just to let me know you're alive."

Din could hardly focus on your words. The kid was on Nhora, grabbing at your shirt and waving his little hands. "Say hi, Grogu. Say hi to your dad," you said.

Was that his name Din heard? Did Grogu just speak real, tangible, words? And his name, nonetheless. Din's heart swelled with pride and all the frustration he'd felt today, tracking an unfindable Mandalorian on top of simply trying to stay alive, melted away. He realized with a shock of sadness that all this time he'd been intensely lonely without his son. The ship was too quiet, too empty, but now both you and the child were here, even if only as a hologram, and filling the cockpit with a warm glow.

Din blinked back tears. It was time to get his act together. There were only so many places an old Mandalorian could hide.

Fenn Rau was not a man to be trifled with, Yollil had explained before Din had left Mandalore. If he was going to be found, Din had to think ahead of him, anticipate his moves. Rau had to be somewhere in Coronet City. If he'd left, it would have been much easier to find him.

But, as it turned out, it was easy enough to find Rau when he wanted to be found. The first cantina Din stepped in and there he was, sitting alone in a dark corner, nursing a spotchka, having predicted Din's own moves to meet him here. This was not luck, it was on purpose, and he didn't hesitate to slide into the seat across from the Mandalorian.

Neither spoke, each waiting for the other to explain themselves first. Fenn Rau was as stoic as Din despite his age. His watery blue eyes locked onto the visor of Din's helmet and did not flinch. But this was a game Din could play well, that of silence.

"Why are you looking for me?" The older Mandalorian was the first to break.

"You wanted to be found."

"I outran you for a while. But curiosity tends to be my downfall."

Din didn't respond, only unhooked the Darksaber from his belt and placed it on the table. It was an unassuming object with immense power and Rau recoiled from its presence.

"So you are the one who defeated Gideon." His words made it apparent that everyone in the galaxy knew. "I'm surprised Lieutenant Bo-Katan didn't duel you right there for it."

"Lieutenant?"

"We fought together in the civil wars." So that's why Yollil had sent Din to find Rau. He would know what Bo-Katan's intentions were. "The Lieutenant is a natural leader. She rallies her people like no other. But she has lost that damn saber one too many times and never once recovered it honorably. She will come for it and do whatever it takes to regain power."

"She's looking for me now."

"What will you do?"

Din did not answer.

"Don't tell me you're asking for my advice?" Rau said with an exasperated sigh. "Alright, here's what I think. Take what you will from this. Tarre Vizsla forged that saber. He was both a Jedi and a Mandalorian, and the first to unite them. Since his death over a thousand years ago, Mandalore has not known peace. And it never will until a Jedi rules again."

A Jedi and a Mandalorian. If such a combination were to exist, then there must be a foundling out there that was force sensitive. A foundling that Din would find and--

Grogu. That foundling was Grogu. Din stood abruptly.

"Thank you. May the force be with you."

"That's it? You don't want a drink?"

"I'll be on Nhora if you need me."

Din left the Mandalorian where he'd found him.

---

The Mandalorian was returning. You could barely contain your glee. The message had been short, typed out and sent over the comm system. Returning. Must discuss G. and B. ETA 3 days.

You had no idea what G. and B. meant. It didn't matter. It had been over a month since you'd last seen him. You hoped he was everything you remembered, strong, handsome, stoic, honorable--

No. No, you would not think about him like that. You would treat him with respect and cool composure, as the ally he was turning out to be and nothing more.

On the first day of waiting you managed to steady your nerves by focusing on each task at hand. Sector 3 needed the dams opened to flood their fields. Sector 8 required a delivery of vaccines to prevent an outbreak of the Cardooine Chills. By the second day, Zena was watching you pace back and forth across the throne room, wondering out loud what G. and B. meant. She'd plopped herself down in your chair since you had no desire to occupy it, legs slung over one arm and back leaned up against the other.

But when the third day arrived, you found yourself surprisingly calm. You received visitors from the throne you'd refused the day before, listening intently as your financial head proposed tax hikes and tax breaks and explained where every cent was headed.

And yet, despite the serenity of your outward appearance, every person who entered your throne room sent your heart beating faster, though every time it was someone other than the Mandalorian. Finally, the sun set through the windows, darkness fell, and he had still not arrived.

"I'm just worried. What if he got caught up by Bo-Katan or something?"

"Your Majesty, he's hurtling through hyperspace. I think he's fine." Zena was ever the calming presence at your elbow. "Just get some sleep."

You tried. You really did, tossing and turning in bed to find the most comfortable position. But nothing worked. It was late in the night when you finally gave up and left bed, padding softly in your nightclothes down the three flights of stairs to the kitchens. At least you could have a warm cup of hot chocolate.

It was empty and silent in the kitchen as you set a pot on the stove to heat the drink. You leaned against the counter, drumming your fingers, waiting, waiting, waiting--

"Any idea where a Mandalorian can get a meal around here?"

You jumped at the voice behind you. So much for calm, cool, composure. Heat rose immediately to your face as you remembered exactly what you were wearing.

"Oh Maker, Djarin, you have to stop sneaking in like that."

"Sorry, can't help it that your guards are useless."

"Hey, watch it. Or I'll kick you out again." Though you acted annoyed, Din could tell you were glad to see him, an easy smile gracing your lips. It appeared he'd caught you at your most vulnerable, looking tired and restless, whisps of your hair flying in all directions and in only your pajamas. Your slightly translucent pajamas.

He did his best not to stare. Really. But with a helmet, there was no one to notice that he could tell you weren't wearing a bra or any underwear or--

"I expected you earlier," you said, pouring a second cup of hot chocolate without asking.

"I miscalculated," Din said matter-of-factly, though his nerves jumped at the thought of you expecting him. "What is this?"

"The most delicious thing ever. Rare. Skywalker introduced me to it and I can't get enough. But only he knows where to find hot chocolate so I have to settle for waiting for his visits to get my hands on more."

Off came the helmet, and though you'd already seen the face beneath, it still left you breathless. The black eye was gone, the cut on his lip and cheek reduced to fading red lines that probably wouldn't even scar. You watched as he ran a hand through his unruly hair, eyeing the cup with suspicion, and giving it a sniff. Finally, Djarin relented and he took a sip.

"Very sweet," he said, brown eyes narrowed and plump lips twisted into a pucker. "Not used to that."

Oh, those lips. Every decent thought you'd been trying to focus on since the Mandalorian's reappearance in your palace kitchens immediately flew out the window, replaced by very indecent thoughts about his full lips.

You tried to bring your mind back to his words, realizing he probably ate mostly bland food. Hearty, maybe, but not seasoned with the exotic flavors your kingdom traded for.

"Let me get you some food. You must be hungry."

"The Queen can cook?"

"Oh no, but she can reheat pretty well."

Din sat, watching as you sliced a loaf of bread and eventually placed a steaming bowl of stew in front of him. In the dim light of the kitchen, you'd taken on a different appearance from when he'd first met you. Your features were softer, less angular and commanding, and more tender and delicate. You were young, he realized, and you wore your youth plainly when the opportunity came to relax. You moved with the ease and grace of someone pushed too soon into this position of power.

"What's G. and B?" you asked, sitting across from Din and taking a slice of bread for yourself.

"Not what, who. Grogu and Bo-Katan." Djarin began to eat, and you noticed he kept sipping at his hot chocolate, despite his previous aversion. "Is the kid still here?"

You shook your head. "They only stay for a few hours at a time. And it's hard to know when they'll be back. Skywalker takes every precaution to be untraceable. He'll find you, not the other way around. Is that why you're back? To find him?"

"Grogu is the heir."

"What do you mean? I thought you were the heir?"

Djarin explained his meeting with Fenn Rau, what the old Mandalorian had told him about the Darksaber and its creator.

"And you're worried Bo-Katan will target Grogu and use him against you?"

"Possibly."

"I don't understand. I thought Bo-Katan wanted to bring peace to Mandalore."

"She does. But under her terms. And her rule. That approach never goes over well with a people as divided as us."

You were starting to see his point. But how was a wrinkly green baby going to take over the throne? "Say you hold on to the Darksaber. Bo-Katan backs down, the kid becomes a Jedi. Then what? He'll have to defeat you in a duel to fulfill his destiny?"

"I haven't thought that far ahead.

Of course, he hadn't. Of course he'd rushed back here as fast as possible, thinking only of the child.

"I'll call a council meeting in the morning. Any actions I take they need to at least be aware of. And this time you're staying. Not just for the night."

Din raised his eyebrows at you in surprise. The authoritative tone you'd taken on was impressive, like you had a goal and a purpose and you were going to do everything it took to succeed. And he had to admit, he quite liked the thought of you forcing him to stay, despite knowing he shouldn't.

After he'd finished eating, you led the Mandalorian back up the stairs and through the silent palace to the room he'd stayed in during his previous visit. You lingered at the door, knowing you should say goodnight but having trouble doing so for some reason.

"Don't disappear on me again, Djarin," you finally settled on saying.

Din hadn't been aware of how much you cared for his safety until this moment. Maybe his late arrival had affected you more than you let on. The look on your face was not one of teasing but of genuine worry, eyebrows knitted in concern, unease written in the soft lines of your face. He wanted to smooth those lines, run a thumb across them to tell you everything he didn't have words for. What had been that emotion he'd felt that night on his ship, watching you and the child flicker holographically before him, filling the space with your warmth? He refused to call it home.

Djarin turned toward the door but paused and looked back at you. And then his gloved hand reached out and he ran a thumb softly across your forehead. It was surprising, that soft, leathery touch, but it accomplished what he'd set out to do. Your face relaxed and a smile spread across your lips, bringing the glow back to his world.

"I won't. I promise. And please, just call me Din."

---

The Mandalorian was up early, beating you and Zena to breakfast. He was already waiting for you to arrive, fully dressed in armor, making your heart skip a beat.

"Don't you want to know about everything that's happened since you were gone?" Zena asked, addressing Din with a glint in her eyes.

"I assume you're going to tell me whether or not I want to know."

"Smart man," Zena said with a wry smile. "You missed a very important birthday. You'll never guess how many suitors were ogling Her Majesty from across the dessert table. Although, I must admit the dress was lovely. I would have asked for her hand in marriage too if I was arrogant enough to think I had a chance."

"Zena," you said harshly, trying to shut her up.

"Turned them all down. Even made one of them run to his mother. No one compares to you Mando." She said that last bit with a singsongy voice as if trying to imitate you.

"Zena! Watch your mouth. I never said that." You gave her a little shove to shut her up. It wasn't very appropriate behavior for a queen but you knew she was doing it on purpose. "You're going to embarrass him."

Zena wiggled her eyebrows in your direction before turning on her heel and leaving you and Din alone, knowing her work was done.

"I'm sorry about that," you said.

"Looks like you're the one feeling embarrassed." Though you couldn't read Din's facial expression, his modulated voice was tinged with teasing humor.

Heat crept up your cheeks, flushing a bright pink that did not go unnoticed by the Mandalorian. "Shut up. I don't want to talk about it."

And then the Mandalorian laughed. He actually laughed, a full, whole-hearted laugh that started in his chest and shook through his body until he was bent double, hands on his knees, gasping for air. It was genuine; though sounding unused and in need of practice, it was not strained or tense at all. You wondered how long it had been since the Mandalorian had let loose like this.

"Oh for Maker's sake," you said, exasperated. "I've tried multiple times to crack jokes and that's what finally gets to you?"

Din had finally caught his breath and stood up straight again. "I apologize, Your Majesty. But you were blushing pretty hard."

And you looked pretty when you blushed, he thought. He didn't say that out loud, however, only pressed his fingers lightly against your back to lead you from the room to the awaiting council meeting.

It was already hard enough to focus in his presence. You had no idea how you were going to sit next to the Mandalorian for the next hour without him driving you up the wall. Calm, cool composure, you reminded yourself. Be diplomatic. Be an ally.

It was all about to go down the drain.

*Read Next Part*

[staggeringsmite]

HELLO! just finished properly listening to your (amazing!) corruption arc playlist! I have many thoughts, and so I wanted to ask you about specific moments and/or characters that you associate with songs (as mentioned in your tags), as I am simply SO intrigued. (did you have certain songs that were added for certain character(s)? were any songs for specific what if's? etc.) also, please consider this a free pass to ramble about anything related to the playlist that you wish. it is SO excellent!!

AHHHH!! thank you jade (both for the compliment and the free space to yell about my thoughts here because when i get playlist brainrot i get it Bad <3) // the playlist in question

i think i'm genuinely going to do a song-by-song thoughts below the cut, but here are some overview thoughts/associations if you don't wanna read all of that or don't have the time!

overall this started with athena by nova twins! i thought the sp*der imagery and overall vibe was great for a more sinister look at the wacky (mostly) chaotic neutral party as they are, just going full lolth. i wanted the pacing to be semi-slow and then drop into the more rock-heavy reckless villain-y section before moving into a (?) bittersweet? i guess? end that feels a bit more like a question mark of if it was worth it.

i think this party is full of extremely interesting motivations to side with an evil power for their own gain/the benefit of the people they care about, and each one of them has a very complex relationship with that so things spun wildly out of control as a thought about this.

for songs i associate with specific characters here's an overview, but you'll notice there aren't a lot for fy'ra rai or orym which i get into a bit more in the song-by-song:

all: i come with knives, into the spin, steady/steady, control, bad dreams / lolth: million years, athena, diggers / dariax: diggers, plenty, hollow / dorian: athena, grenadine, dangerous / fearne: plenty, you should see me in a crown, black wave / fy'ra rai: home / opal: home, grenadine, black wave, you should see me in a crown / orym: i'm not calling you a liar, dangerous

song-by-song >:)

1. i come with knives (acoustic) - this song, zoowee, so i went with the acoustic version because i think it's a nice slow but sinister start and it very much gave me the feeling of whenever you begin as a character to question taking this kind of power, that is a Source yes that you can do whatever with but is rooted in temptation and associated with evil, is there any real justification for that which is not in some part selfish. "i come with knives and agony to love you" if that isn't the chosen ones to a T in their overall reasoning for even considering a deal with lolth. and as much as that may be rooted in care, and wanting to be strong and powerful enough to protect the people they care about, it is a painful way to love when you really choose that path once and for all.

2. into the spin - this one is based on "slow climb but quick to descend" and i love the instrumentation as a part of the overall vibe, but it's about sowing the seed here. planting even a hint of consideration in accepting the power of the circlet and lolth's words is going to need time for the person to mull it over, but once it's on it is On baby.

3. million years - this is what i mean by All In Baby, and while it isn't the playlists narrative point of anyone actually accepting the power for good, it is a glimpse intended to shake things up after an 8 minute slow start with the first two songs, and this is all about lolth who is a Chaotic Evil entity, who is a reckless and hauntingly destructive force <3

4. home - "everything you made will end up broken" i think this song to fy'ra rai is more of an omen, of everything that she cannot fix but wants to, knowing that she cannot make choices for the group and seeing the potential path they could wind up on and knowing that fundamentally if they go that way it is their decision no matter how much it will hurt her - for opal there is SOMETHING about the tone of this song that feels very much like her, and the complete lack of care it seems to have to rattle off mundane things to the intimate drama of the place, to omens, to demands/declarations i think it shows her personality well and how that pairs with a chaotic neutral entity being offered something like the power of the circlet

5. steady, steady - idk if this is necessarily everyone but the mix of you know when you're ready and i am ready to be the one, this is the song about taking the leap and grabbing for power and/or fy'ra rai and orym's feelings of diving in with them or resisting/leaving them

6. diggers - for lolth this is just the consistent "i've been waiting for you" in the bg which i found fun and disconcering but also i think this is the perfect party and perfect storm for her to convince someone to use the circlets power >:) - for dariax! it seems with what we know he doesn't really know that he is a divine soul sorcerer? unless that is a show he is putting up. still, i feel like him carrying the circlet is Very interesting as someone with a divine bloodline who is in a way being given/chosen for that type of power holding onto this artifact born from evil and perhaps being tempted by it & i think this song works as an interesting back and forth for him with the strange double-entity grab for him in a way

7. athena - truly just a banger that fit the vibes wayyyy too well and started this whole thing, it's loud and reckless and out for blood babey <3 - i think i associate it with dorian mostly because i also associate it with lolth and he is the closest to really taking that leap in canon (and also probably the first one the go if we're following this playlist like a story with everyone/most everyone going corrupt, though it can be read truly infinite ways these are just compiled songs) i think it has a certain flair and appeal that just makes me Feel like it's the song that would play the second dorian puts the circlet on (which! fun fact! decreases your charisma by 2! have fun beloved bard!) - i think it's a very intense conversation

8. i’m not calling you a liar - okayokayokay it's orym thought time bc there are sooo many worlds and routes for orym here and i truly have no idea where he would even end up in this hypothetical. do i think that orym loves these guys and wants to protect them? yes. do i think that he may genuinely take the pain of loving them and keep his morals by walking away and/or turning on them if they all go evil? maybe. do i think he also might love them enough to throw that away? maybe. in a party of all chaotic neutrals besides him without fy'ra rai he is surprisingly the wild card here. while they have each other and no one else, he has the teachings and wisdom of the voice of the tempest and a moral compass that does not align with theirs at all. so, something has to give! dorian's slide into chaotic neutral was natural, but i think orym would be giving up Much More of himself to let himself slide from neutral good to chaotic neutral. i have no answers only sad, sad hypotehtical questions and scenarios so i will just, leave you with "and i love you so much, i'm gonna let you kill me." - this song also comes here before the storm of the 3-5 because whatever way he goes i think orym sees it all happen before anyone else does.

9. grenadine - Do Not Tell Me You Couldn't Hear villainous opal and dorian say the lines "what a big heart i have, i'll be your savior now. what a real catch i am, all the more to pull you down." - i see this song as playful but more genuine for dorian in terms of Truly Really believing any action he does to protect his friends is justified and good to him in his eyes whereas this is a very playful song for a villainous opal - they both give off this vibe strongly though (could see this one for fearne as well but don't have a good a justification)

10. black wave - helloooooo my favorite druid and warlock?? going apeshit with power? more so than they already are on a day-to-day basis (esp given episode 6 combat)? that's what this song is about. "stumbling down the street i swear to god you don't wanna test me" - i also think they both have an interesting question with "what do i believe?" with fearne being of the feywild which is a place of considerably different moral standing to exandria and opal being so young that she doesn't have the world figured out at all <3 terrifying and upsetting when you get into those questions on a corruption arc <3

11. you should see me in a crown - okay i knooooow this one is on the dorian playlist BUT vibes for my brutal babes <333 something about opal’s whole personality and fearne confronting the mirror self But eventually choosing/heading down the path anyway?? impeccable i love it there’s very few other thoughts here

12. control - OKAY not only does this song Fuck but i put it as party wide because i think it transitions nicely into the end of the mix which is more of the “questioning this decision after going all in but not being able to turn back/was it all worth it in the end?” part - i mostly love the “though i like the idea of providence... i’m in love with control” repeated because! i think the circlet is very interesting in that it has been iterated many times over that though it has connections to lolth and she has some claim/twisted abilities with it, it IS just a power source. so, the idea of going all in and accepting this power is an incredibly interesting dilemma of “who’s in charge here? did you really put it on/would you have without these dreams and lolth’s influence? are you really in control?” i think this song really represents that admission/delusion of control in this situation.

13. plenty - okay this song in any context is just my Feywild/Faerie Vibe song so i think this trails back to my feelings about fearne leaning into that different set of fey morals along a corruption arc, and as for dariax i think this is about abundance! following through that mixture of divine power source and chaotic evil god origin over dariax and his chaotic history of vast and varied experiences in emon, i think this very much befits a corrupt version of him.

14. dangerous - this song makes me insane, and the first reason i put it on the mix was the “the dead are true believers. rest assured. we are all believers” really just made me think of a terrible and cinematic moment of them discovering the circlet with the dead aboard the ship ESP in the context of this playlist’s narrative where that was the point they were destined to claim its power and go through their corruption arc - “how does it feel to be your own deceiver?” is the main reason and feeling as for why i made this a dorian song as well in line with “don’t worry i would do anything for my friends.” bc i personally find dorian’s corruption arc to be disillusioned with his own intentions and takes a lot of convincing himself that taking this power for his friends is noble in the scope of this group’s collective morals and self-interest in keeping each other safe and prosperous so <3

15. hollow - woowee dariax corruption, at least in this scope, i think is very frightening to me in that i think he’s going full maximalist, abundant, greedy, impulsive chaotic evil if we’re realllly leaning into a villain arc but still many of those things if we’re just going “this group is the only thing that matters and i’ll do anything for them no matter the cost” - i also think this song has a tone of resentment towards this? apprehension a bit? recognizing that this is how the person singing is but not entirely enjoying or feeling justified in it? as impulsive as dariax is, i think he cares A Lot, and is even a character i could see pulling a reverse dorian and going chaotic good in a different story than we’re in? “so simple when i was younger” and “i’d be a dancer of a different tune” really give me angsty dariax vibes in the height of his corruption arc

16. bad dreams - “don't you worry about your bad dreams cause I'm not in them. don't you worry about what change brings cause you can't stop it.” WOOF i don’t know that this one really needs to be explained but it’s the climax and the descent all in one of the party/corrupted individual being too far gone in their decision to step back or be saved. i think the tone of the song lends itself well to a mixture of uncaring but also giving some question to if they regret it or not based on the narration of the crowd against them.

[project-rebirth]

Top 6 Kinoverse ships

This is quite an unexpected post from here don’t you think? Well don’t worry, you’re not the only one to think so.

Usually, at least for me, Ships have always been a secondary priority on this blog so I never really put as much focus on them as some others normally would, however, I feel as though they are important enough in their own right, especially when some of the more interesting storylines of certain characters have been built up as a result of the ships that are currently here, or are in deveopment, which makes one better appreciate them overall.

Today, we’re going to be taking a look at  6 of the ships I am fond of, or have been more prominent than some others. Some ships may not have the characters officially together yet, but will lean heavily towards that direction as their story progresses.

6. Rosalia x Bowen ( @tetsuwan-atom​ )

One of the earliest ships to be made in the Kinoverse, we have a powerful sorceress who can travel to most any place in the Multi-Universe and a guy who pretty much does the same thing for a science based organization. Since Raildex is the main setting for the Kinoverse, I like the fact that we have two people on the opposite ends of the spectrum, (that being Magic and Science) get along so well. Truly, these two embody the phrase, “When Sicence and Magic Cross Paths, a Story is Born!”

Admittedly, my musing for Rose has been low as of late, hence why she doesn’t make that many appearances as much as she used to, and I’m still trying to figure out her own backstory and whatnot, but when she does appear, I truly enjoy the interactions she has with Bowen, and mostly how he reveres her like she’s a queen lol. And who can blame him? She’s got the looks, she has the charisma, (something I wanted to explore a bit in  the “Genesis Timeline” but I digress), and she also has a Childish side to her, which comes in the forms of the pranks she pulls on others, mainly Kamijou for some reason. Overall, I hope that there are more interactions between them in the future that is to come! These two are dimension hoppers and lovers, so there’s plenty of things to do as far as spin off stories are concerned!

5. Shido x Sayo ( @crystalmelodies​ )

This one is another favorite of mine, solely because of how Shido is basically attached to her. When I think about it, Shido has had the most dramatic changes in his character thus far, from being Aogami Pierce 2.0 to becoming someone more rigid, Shido has finally found someone that he genuinely cares for and will do anything to protect, he went through great lengths to save Sayo when she was fated to disappear as an angel and ever since then he’s become protective of her. In some occasions, whenever Sayo is gone for an extended period of time, he goes into worried dad mode/edgy mode and looks all over for her, only to feel totally silly when she returns and is fine, which i hilarious and kind of sad when looking at it more deeply.

Sayo is basically the only person in his life that he has at the moment, and there in lies a fear of, “what if she vanishes again” and that fear of losing her in one way or another is always in the back of his head. It’s also why he’s gone off the deep end as of late with something else that’s influencing him (but we will see how that goes if that becomes a future arc). Overall, their interactions are very wholesome when they do happen and its nice to see both of then happy together. Now we just need Shido to get snapped out of his dark lord phase so we can have more happy moments with theeeemmmmmm!

4. Touma x Lucia (crystalmelodies)

Another ship I am interested in seeing, even though the two have not gotten together, let alone confessed to each other, is Kamijou Touma & Nanami Lucia.

Here we have Kamijou Touma, the guy who has met an untold number of girls in his adventures from all walks of life, as per the “Kami-Yan disease” that his classmates call it, with a girl who seems as ordinary as they come, though in reality that isn’t the case. So what’s noteworthy about this particular pairing?

Well, a few reasons, but mainly its the fact that at first glance, Lucia is an ordinary girl that lives in a quiet seaside town devoid of crazy technology, and Espers that the metropolis known as Academy City has, so I’m quite fond of the idea of “An Average High School Boy You can Find  Anywhere” being paired with a person that’s “An Average Girl You can Find Anywhere” that the two seem to represent. Not only that, but they both get along quite well and there has been hints, at least on Kamijou’s end that he has somewhat of an interest in her.

From Kamijou’s point of view, she differs from the other girls that he is antiquated with in the fact that she’s one of the very few people that doesn’t appear to react Violently whenever he gets thrown into a misfortune event. She also differs from the others in the fact that she is a “regular person” whereas the other girls have been everything from Espers, to Magicians, to Saints (Superhuman Magicians), and even Gods themselves, so the fact that he has met someone who not only tolerates his misfortune, but appears to be so far removed from the crazy sides of the world that he’s been constantly thrown into.

of course, we know that Lucia is not an ordinary human; she’s a Mermaid, a Princess, and a Magical Girl? It would be interesting to see how Kamijou reacts to finding out that not only is she all of these, but her circle of friends are as well and related. Overall, even if he found out about that, he wouldn’t see her any differently than he already does - because he would still see her as his friend, even if she were a Goddess. If she was in trouble or sad, he would definitely come running to her side.

On a side note, in the Genesis Timeline, he also showed interest in her Mermaid Persona, something that is also true for the Rebirth Timeline, so it will also be interesting to see how he reacts to finding out that Human Lucia and Mermaid Lucia are the same entity. For the time being though, this will be somewhat of a slow burner as Kamijou plans to wake her up from her coma as well as deal with his internal issues regarding his self worth, the identity crisis he has as a result of the destruction of his memories from Index OT 1, and the PTSD he has from being killed by Othinus to damn near infinity. These two will certainly be in for quite a ride as time goes on.

3. Zarama/Zelreich x Artemis ( @averageisms​ )

When Zarama was conceived as the primary Antagonist for the second half of the Genesis Timeline, he was originally going to be this power hungry tyrant that saw the universes and everyone within it as his servants, however, as I began to develop him further and better develop his motives, he eventually became a complex character that could be a villain that you can both hate and somewhat sympathize, given the back story that I had originally given him and what he was trying to do overall throughout Genesis Order. He was one of the characters I least expected to become shipped with someone, yet here we are, with it becoming among the top 3 ships I have.

There’s something about this particular pairing that has me coming back to it every time. It’s interesting to see how this powerful being who is so far removed from humanity, has taken an interest in the most human/average person you can find out there, which makes this reminiscent of something you would see in a Disney film or some supernatural drama. In the old timeline, Zarama’s  attachment to Artemis mostly comes from the fact that he has been around beings who were so far removed from humanity for eons upon eons, that meeting someone who was normal was a breath of fresh air for him - someone who was uncorrupted by the supernatural and just wanted to have someone to come back home to.

In the rebirth timeline, Zarama is decidedly different as a character overall, as while he is not really a god like he was before, but rather a curious immortal that travels the Multi-Universe to study abstract concepts like The Essence and Bio-Energy as well as various magics. His attachment to her stems from the fact that for ages, he has wanted a companion that would remain at his side, as he knows the pain of isolation that his immortality brings and he feels a similar loneliness inside of her for different reasons. Yet he’s made an oath that he would never abandon her in the same way others have abandoned her.

This iteration of Zarama hasn’t gone down the dark path that his Genesis Timeline counterpart went through and doesn’t have some grand plan to save all of creation. He’s instead more focused on his research as well as just being with Artemis, as he sees her as the one his heart has been seeking for a very long time. Overall, I enjoy the interactions they both have and I can’t wait to see how this pairing further develops.

2. Makoto x Grete ( crystalmelodies )

At number 2, we have one of the more newer pairings in the form of Makoto and Grete.

This one is interesting because of how far we were willing to see Makoto go in order to ensure her happiness and safety. Ever since he saw that vision of her during the first week of their meeting, an attatchment has been formed between them, with Makoto wanting give her the happiness that had been stolen from her. Even though he was a bit caught off guard when she practically confessed to him, Makoto’s feelings for Grete wasnt fully realized until he was taken away to Academy City, where he came to realize that he had indeed developed some sort of feelings for her.

Although it wasn’t written, during Makoto’s final moments in Academy City, we would have seen him face off against Kamijou Touma and how he was willing to become a reprehensible person in order to ensure his future with Grete, which would have been interesting given how Grete is practically similar in that regard. Kamijou would have given him the question of if Grete would really be proud of the things he was doing in her name, asking that would she really be content with smiling by his side, knowing that he had hurt people along the way, which causes his resolve to waver a bit. Makoto would then go onto say that as long as MINUS has their hooks on them, then he had no choice but to be a villain. What would have transpired next would be Kamijou declaring that he will save Makoto from this darkness and return him to Grete’s side, and he would do so by destroying the Illusions that he was holding onto.

After that grueling fist fight, Kamijou would carry Makoto over to Academy City’s warehouse district where he would have Rosalia and her maid take him out the city and return him to the life he was take whisked away from, giving him a new found hope and resolve to being at Grete’s side. Now Makoto has to deal with the aftermath of his disappearance, and that means he will be staying by her side even more and to make sure that he never suddenly vanishes from her life like that again.

I really like this pairing, and I hope to see this develop more and see where it goes, because the story behind it, from his Makoto’s Precognition Ability, to his defeat and salvation at the hands of Kamijou Touma, and the possibility that Makoto and Grete may be long lost childhood friends, as it has been hinted at at least twice before!

1. Accelerator x Violent Violet ( @xbloodsoakedx​ )

I think we know by now this was obvious. After all, it is the most popular pairing in the Kinoverse so far, and the most active.

Initially, I wasn't that crazy about it due to a myriad of factors, both in-universe and out of universe that had my mind not in the right place, however as time grew I grew to appreciate this pairing and the wildness that comes with it. Accelerator was one of the muses who I least expected to get paired with someone due to his personality, but surprisingly, he and Violet complement each other quite well. You have two of the strongest people in the verse who have gone through some similar things in their past, mainly how they were experimented on to become the powerhouses that they are now today.

Although Accelerator isn’t keen on showing affection most of the time, he definitely cares about her and came to realize just how much she has changed his life, similar to Last Order. He sees her as more than just a lover, he sees her as part of his “family” whether or not he would openly admit such. We see this in how he reacts to Violet vanishing for a week during the Shura Arc and how determined he becomes to save her from the darkness that she was pulled into. You also have the fact that this came after Last Order had been kidnapped herself, so Accelerator at this point is tired of people targeting everyone that was close to him, a development we will see as the story moves forward with his desire of wanting to protect that family of his, be it Last Order, Violet, the two older women who are his “guardians” Worst, and the MISAKA Network Clones.

Something that’s also noticeable in Accelerators casual interactions with Violet is how he can be such a tsundere, in that Violet likes to cuddle and kiss him, yet despite looking displeased, he lets her  do what she wants, similar to how he lets Last Order pester him. I think Violet and Last Order are the only ones who can get away with calling Accelerator a Tsundere lol

Ultimately, It’s thanks to this connection she has formed with Accelerator that she has blended into the city of bizarre science so well. Last Order was not initially fond of Violet, believing her to be a bad influence on Accelerator but that quickly changed and is now attached to her as she is to Accelerator, while Worst, Yoshikowa and Yomikowa were genuinely welcoming of her presence for differing reasons, but all can agree that they can tease Accelerator about Violet whenever the moment arises.

In the Genesis Timeline, Violet became a celebrity of sorts in Academy City, and you can expect the same thing to happen in the Rebirth Timeline, with many people taking an interest in her for varying reasons. Overall, this is certainly a pairing you want to keep your eyes on as the story progresses.

That also reminds me, two of the Three heroes are now in relation ships. Hamazura Shiage is with Takitsubo Rikou and Accelerator is with Violet, leaving Touma to have to contend with being single yet also having the world’s largest harem while being totally unaware of it. This can change though...once he wakes up a certain mermaid lol

And there you have it. 6 ships I enjoy in the Kinoverse. There may be others that I missed or neglected to include, but these are the main ones that have been on my mind when it comes to this topic. Will there be more? Possibly in the future, but for now, this is it!