#as i do with all my poetry
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okay,, but why?
why say that in front of me??
to make me jealous?
why?
why do you believe the best way to ensure my interest is to jab at my insecure heart?
does it make you happy?
does it leave you feeling fulfilled?
why?
who hurt you to the point that this is the path you take?
'the world is cruel,' yes.
you're 'only protecting yourself,' sure.
so you hold up a mirror, arms trembling, to reflect that cruelty? that pain?
why?
why do I have to suffer?
you're only passing the torch.
am I expected to reflect this torment onto others?
it's entirely fucked, because I probably will.
#original poem#poem#crush#self esteem#diary#shitty poetry#situationships#situationship#emotions#im pathetic#mind games#what the fuck#fuck this#how the fuck am i supposed to react?#fuck you#love?#pain#love? idk#poems on tumblr#poems and poetry#poetry#i threw this together in 5 minutes#as i do with all my poetry#why me?#is it my fault?#shitty poem#anger#limerence#this is going to end so badly
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i say if youāre gonna have the mysterious entities speak in rhyme you might as well commit (EDIT: part 2!)
(posting an unprecedented Part 1 of At Least 3 bc i actually have the entire script and most of the storyboarding for this done already)
#yknow. got an idea. had a breakdown. bon appetit#this was the creative impulse i was referring to on sunday#my art#my poetry#secret life#secret life spoilers#slsmp#grian#geminitay#briefly#trafficblr#also#mostly bc i am proud of it and partly bc i want people to know itās on purpose:#grian is not trying to rhyme at all in this part. he is being deliberately unhelpful#he lowkey tries to fuck it up on purpose in that second to last panel but the secret keepers just switch rhyme schemes#the one time he completes an end rhyme is because he lost his temper#anyway yeah this was motivated mostly by me wanting to see if i could do it
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in internet posts it is easy to cut them out of your life. they are hurting you! they aren't listening to you!
they held your hair back. they lent you lipstick. they held your hand at the train station and got you home safe. they rounded on your bully, got loud, said get fucked, spitting-mad in your defense.
they also cut the hair off again. told you that you should really think twice before wearing something like that. took you for granted. took your insecurities and threw them in your face again.
you know logically it should be easy. all the internet advice comments always read it will feel better. like an equation - if a person is rotten, you just remove them. you pull the tooth that's hurting.
but it was never a big flare-up moment. you don't live in a sitcom. they never tried to take your boyfriend or steal from your apartment. they showed up to birthdays and they wrote songs about you and bring you water without you asking. once you found out they carry an emergency inhaler for you, even though you haven't had an asthma attack in years - just in case.
where is the line? people fuck up. sometimes they fuck up badly. sometimes people have raw personalities, like a powerline, and being around them is dangerous. addicting. sometimes they can't help themselves, but you know they're trying. sometimes they are just rough-around-the-edges. sometimes they don't even realize how they sounded when they said that. sometimes it's just - you've both loved each other for so long now, the way this thing hurts goes back to the root.
and that's the fucked up part. you have pushed your fingers against the sweetheart of memory. things these days are electric, tense, harrowing. they didn't used to be. there were a lot of good days in there. sometimes you want to just close your eyes and say can this be over yet? do we still need to be fighting?
doing that would give up any chance you get of getting an apology, but you don't always know that you need an apology, you love them. once they flaked on your birthday party. once they told you to get over it, people are always dying. they also let you crash on their couch for a week after the breakup, handfeeding you when you were so sad you couldn't eat. they are also judgmental about everything, occasionally react to banal statements with an attitude that is weird and fiery. they also love you like a lighthouse sometimes, so strong they cut the storm like lightning.
but the problem is that you might be storm. you might be the thing that needs breaking. what if you are two forces who are desperately, horribly drawn to each other, shaped by the other person's passions, and both good for each other and bad in equal measure.
what if you're both just people, and you're no saint neither.
just cut them off! swallowing the saltwater, you catch yourself in the mirror. you've been shaking more than usual. there's an ache in you that is oblique, loud, impossible to soothe. is this what it looks like? when life is "easier"?
your mouth will always have a hole, is the thing, if you remove the tooth.
#spilled ink#warm up#writeblr#this is about someone specific but feel free to blorbo on main.#tbh this is familial for me so that is an element but it's also about childhood best friends#and probably about ur enemies to lovers blorbo#(but i want to specifically say if ur partner is like this. not necessarily a good partnership lol.)#(the dynamics at play in familial/friend relationships feel equally important and in some ways are HARDER to escape.#bc we can see that this is a potentially toxic romantic foundation.#but in family ? ...... it's toxic and it doesn't stop u from loving them. bc u always have.#and i think that makes it harder. by a lot. which is what this is referencing).#but genuinely and really truly forever feel free to tag ur potentially toxic enemies to lovers on this and all my poetry#here i'll do one for u - adora & catra :x
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do skully have pokemon?
Pumpkaboo is the obvious one, but y'know, sometimes the obvious one is the right one! (we'll say SUPER SIZE Pumpkaboo, just for fun. big pumpkin for big skeleton boy.) and another person actually also suggested Greavard, which I somehow hadn't considered, but feels so perfect that I feel like I should have. dangit.
(they can also have little Nightmare Suit costumes :D)
#art#twisted wonderland#pokemon#poketwst#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#(sorry for leaving anon off for a while! i've gotten a rash of spam and i'm gonna wait it out a couple days before turning it back on)#also apologies for the rest of this not really being pokemon related#i don't have anything right now for part 4 of the event so i'm gonna use this space to go off about it#because. oh man.#a sad lack of the scullsman but a FEAST of everyone else#gotta love malleus and leona uniting in the common goal of hunting trey down for trying to game their whiny pettiness#(trey doesn't know what to do with someone he can't easily distract with cake)#also further confirmation that malleus WILL kill a small child and leona WILL point and laugh the whole time#also sebek's plans revolving around what he knows he's good at: screaming extremely loudly and hoisting nerds#and let us not forget what i consider to be the crowning jewel#which is jamil figuring out IMMEDIATELY where scully has taken his prisoners#only for everyone else to just. literally refuse to do anything about it.#jamil just standing there and going 'WE KNOW WHERE THEY ARE! WE CAN JUST! GO GET THEM!!!! WHYYY AREN'T WE GOING'#visibly losing his entire mind and it's beautiful#top 10 twst event moments honestly#also some delightful character consistency from jade being all#'actually my dicking around is a sign of my immense trust in your abilities to get things done :)'#'but also consider: there are currently two housewardens chasing a child'#'alternately angrily screaming poetry and begging them not to sue'#'and if you will pardon my city of flowers...there is no fucking way i'm missing that'#lock shock and barrel did not sign up for this. how did these idiots turn out to be somehow weirder than the three of them.#twisted wonderland must be a frightening place indeed
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Just because you don't love yourself it doesn't mean I will stop loving you.
#my art#goro akechi#persona 5#shuake#p5r#ren amamiya#persona 5 royal#akeshu#for some reason i wrote a dif caption on all socmed#i like them all#u know me and my poetry and shuake i cant stop coming up w lines so oh well collect them all#twt tumblr and bsky#twt and tumblr are similar#oh right i have never told ppl i have either of those here#tumblr is my true home so i forget#anw enjoy my tablet pen is dying and replacement is 350 euros cause its a wacom display tablet from 2013-17 and yeah. fuck me :)#cant even say i will do comms to pay for a new one cause its maddening to draw on it rn#idk how i managed to draw this one - passion for shuake ig#ok thats too much rambling even for me oops#its been a bad week lots of expenses for someone who quit her job to do a post grad on my savings lol#im getting better though
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ANOTHER SKETCH DUMP! Featuring more of me playing with lineless art. Batman reborn era trio (dick, damian and steph) I miss you...when will you return from war. Also featuring Steph designs bc I've seen ppl dissatisfied w/ her current look, some good mom Talia, and Jason Todd poetry club. Duke is confused not that Jason would start a poetry club but that he'd have such mid poetry opinions. (ID in Alt)
#dc comics#batfamily#damian wayne#stephanie brown#dick grayson#talia al ghul#duke thomas#cassandra cain#mine#woo new art tag. please god let me keep this up all year#uhh anyway yeah! still a big backlog of sketches but i got burnt out which means i had time to collect some#i feel like my art looks. extremely different w/o lines compared to with? idk i worry that's it weird/off-putting#but hey at the end of the day I'm hardly worrying about my brand integrity on tumblr dot com#duke and cass being at poetry club is based on them canonically being into poetry and for a good while duke and jason got along well#Steph is there for both jason and cass' emotional support (unfortunately there's a design flaw. she can't do both simultaneously)#(which is fine bc cass is fleeing the scene at the idea of having to casually hang out with jason)#(they're the exact amount of similar and more importantly different that it's like putting two firecrackers together. bad)#i really like the steph mask designs... it'd be fun to do something with them but idk what y'know?#I'm just like. if we're assuming that her mask has to be different from both babs and cass then this is what I've got as alternatives#i mostly wanted to practice character interaction with the talia and damian one... and also i love them#looking at james gunns batman movie proposal. you keep your hands OFF HER MR GUNN#please if shes evil in a movie they're never gonna let her be good in the comics again š#dc when you inevitably cave and do your next big reboot let the ppl finally have the son of the demon origin (w/ tweaks of course)#idk it's canon in my heart. heartcanon if you will <3#anyway yeah uhhhhhh enjoy?
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And I said, āHello, Satan
I believe itās time to go.ā
#my art#southern gothic#been too depressed to create anything but Iāve made this today#the little rhyme has been in my head for a few weeks#spilled ink#I guess do people still use that tag for poetry or am I old lol#Iāve been writing in my journal pretty much daily and sometimes spitting out little poems like this#not much energy for art#so Iām not gonna pressure myself to keep it up#Iām just gonna enjoy the fact that I made this#I hope ur all well <33#the devil#by the way this isnāt meant to be fan art of Robert Johnson#but itās inspired by him and the stories of musicians who sell their souls to the devil#I am still thinking very hard and have mostly drafted a cornstalk fiddle comic#god knows how long itāll stay in a notebook haha#my comic#comics
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The most evil celebratory kiss
[First]Ā PrevĀ <ā-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#wen chao#wang lingjiao#I wrote a haiku that I almost used as the caption. Here it is:#āUp on the house top-Heterosexual kiss-Your mother is deadā#...I am not very good at poetry.#There was something so funny to me about the evil couple heterosexual sloppy kiss sandwiched between all this angst.#I get it - this is to make us really loathe these two and make the later revenge much sweeter but...honestly they were so funny for this.#I still do not really know how to draw people kissing so I will do what I do best and make it funny.#There are several points in which MDZS is a dark comedy and this is one of them.#Despite how tragic this episode is...My god did it also make me laugh the hardest.#I will have comics about the other moments. Stay tuned!#edit: forgor what day of the week it was. Happy Makeout Monday!
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this too is poetry
#simmons#grif#no big boy tags except for#grimmons#rvb#but most is just for my sorting..#if nobody gets this ill do something#im not even gonna explain it. itll hit you when its ready#i cried over grimmons for an hour and all i got was this lame mspaint poetry
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heeyyy gaaanggg
the pose and the background of the album version (left) are based on oingo boingos only a lad album art. not cause i think he has anything to do with it but just cause ive been wantin to draw that pose for like. weeks and i didnt know who to put there. so why not my latest bug man.
#my art#digital art#digital painting#fanart#resident evil 7#ethan winters#goddd PLEAAASEEEE#i havent known if i was gonna post this or not multiple times in the process of drawin this. but ultimately i spent too much time on it to#NOT post it. embarrassment be damned#but at the same time what am i even doin yknow. what is this what is goin on pleaaseee PLEASEEEEE#I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT RESIDENT EVIL!!! I DONT KNOW N O T H I NG I KNOW LESS THAN NOTHING#HOW?? HOW DID I GET HERE??? WHY DID THIS HAPPEN???? i know exactly the answer to all those questions but it still boggles me how fast this#happened. usually it takes WEEKS if not MONTHS for me to start makin fanart. this was faaasttttt TOO FAST and im like. genuinely constantly#thinkin about this game. im ALWAYS thinkin about this game. part of why this took me so long to do is cause i always wanna play re7 or thin#about re7 in a strange and deranged way. ive actually genuinely been SICK WHAT HAPPENEDDDDDD#im losing it!! anyways this took me a looonggg ass time and i redrew it soo many timmmessss#i did like. 3 lineart passes. the album version i did 3 shading passes. i really struggled!! and ultimately i dont know how i feel about it#like i kinda resent it. for takin so long and makin me suffer so much#never again. never again will i spend that much time on a drawing. i HATE when drawins take a long time. i HATE that. it makes me madddd#ive been insane. ive been so insane. and im not gettin better like i cant sleep sometimes cause im thinkin about this game and this guy and#that gal like i think about them!! so! so much!! oh my god!!#in the time it took me to finish this ive done like 10 sketches for other pieces like. and ive had like 3 ideas ive written down.#and like 50 that i havent written or sketched.#IVE WRITTEN POETRY!! P O E T R Y !!!#i write the occasional poem when im feelin some kinda profound emotion but i NEVER write poetry about media SOBBING#anyways thats the post i think this is the beginnin of the end so lets hold hands and pray. ugh sorry if i get sick. im shakin.
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i had a dream about you // alucinatio by alexmeg
āHe stares at the ceiling, blinking blankly every now and then, until his eyes close and he falls asleep.ā
hey so what the fuck
bonus
caption translation: āyouāre an angst enjoyerā
video translation: āthat feeling like where it hurts so much but it feels good, you know that feeling when āaww im so sad cuz they didnt end up togetheršā but its also satisfying in a way that they didnt end up togetheršā
#park that car drop that phone sleep on the floor DREAM ABOUT ME#when i tell you this fic made me physically ill#this one had me gooped and gagged#it ruined my life#the way i made a playlist for thisš#if guilty as sin was a fic it would be this its not even funny#this fic felt like richard siken poetry šš#i get it i DO#gago bat ang sakit#drarry#hpdm#hp#harry potter#draco malfoy#ao3#fanfic#digital sketch#digital art#digital artist#art#digital drawing#digital illustration#illustration#sketch#nah drays stronger in this fic than iāll ever be dawgš#cuz wdym that wonderful thing wasnt even real n instead of all that happening i was actually experiencing the worst things to ever happen t#anyone EVER#BRO I WOULD DIEš
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Sunrise, Louise GlĆ¼ck, x x x x x x x x x x x
#sidney crosby#pittsburgh penguins#hockey poetry#my poetry posts#oh captain my captain#happy training camp!#I originally read this poem like right around locker clean out#I spent like half the summer trying to find something that worked#I'm pretty proud of how it came out#its all about the little things - not the big moments like the cup but the big and small leading up to something like that#I was gonna post this at the start of the month but the followers on the lb blog said to do it first day of training camp so here we are#feels especially sweet to post knowing we get two more years of sid after this
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in honor of last seasonās poem being called āāend poemāā (all quotes mandatory) this season i made one out of pieces of the actual end poem
#letting me just download the minecraft font? for free? a mistake#if you or a loved one have been suffering from RED TEXT you may be entitled to compensation#my art#my poetry#secret life#goodtimeswithscar#grian#secret life spoilers#sorry tumblr user livvi3love for not making one with all the deaths again#if you (or anyone) did want to illustrate this one as well youāre more than welcome to but i am not expecting anything#i can do an explainer thing again like i did last time but that is for tomorrow#right now i am just. very tired#but for now i will confirm yes the colors Matter#i literally made this on accident against my will#i was trying to DRAW
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yall i just KEEP doing back to mizu and taigen's wrestling scene in master eiji's forge and like i know that taigen literally got a boner from it BUT THE THING IS out of all the scenes these two have together, this scene actually has the least sexual tension ?!? cuz like the boner aside, this scene is actually very soft and emotions-driven rather than pure passion or lust.
arguably, a more passionate and sexually-charged scene would be their previous brawl in the snow with the chopsticks, which is tense and angry and also the scene that mizu thinks about when madame kaji talks about being honest with one's innermost desires.
but THIS scene in the forge? warm colours. their laughter and their smiles that both equally genuine. the WAY taigen looks at mizu in that scene, staring first at her lips, her smile, then looking into her eyes. and you can see by the framing of the scene and the look on his face that he is, for the first time, seeing her eyes as something beautiful rather than off-putting or frightening.
like before this point he's already come to not only respect mizu as a person and an equal but also admires her as an incredible swordsman and as someone who is kind and honourable* for having saved his life at the expense of her revenge quest. so as of the time of them tussling in the forge, taigen has already put aside his prejudices about mizu's blue eyes and no longer finds them as any cause for disgust. but in this scene he's not just indifferent about her eyes, but attracted too it.
and i'd also like to argue that his boner is not from the physical exertion or the act of wrestling itself, but from the intimacy of a playful spar, enjoying each other's easy company after having established a deep trust with each other (taigen endured torture for mizu and helped defend her from archers in the chasm while mizu saved his life from fowler's castle)
and all this while in the safety of mizu's childhood home while both of them are still recovering from near-death, amplifying their vulnerability with each other.
like when was the last time mizu cracked a genuine smile, let alone a laugh that's more than a little wry chuckle?? and for this to happen at such a low point in her life also speaks to the comfort this little friendly spar gives her.
because like, this is after she failed her mission to kill fowler. meanwhile her sword--the embodiment of her soul--is broken, and ringo who is her closest confidant is now angry at her and barely even looks at her. it just further lends to the inherent tenderness and intimacy in this scene. and i just. AHHHH i love them your honour....
* ALSO as a side note about taigen believing mizu to be honourable: he later realises that this assumption turns out to be quite false when she reveals that she'd not only allowed akemi to be taken away against her will but also has said nothing about fowler's impending attack on edo. also i find it very interesting that out of the two revelations, taigen is less angered by mizu letting akemi being married off (he sighs angrily and marches off saying he has to go to edo to find akemi), but much more angered by mizu's refusal to save the shogun and the shogunate as a whole. this is more proof that taigen's central principles are firmly rooted in the bushido and the concept of honour that comes with that. it's why he lashes out at mizu. because he'd believed mizu to be honourable and righteous, but was proven wrong. that's not to say that taigen is in the right for calling mizu a demon, not by any means. but i just find it a very interesting part of his character and it relates to his relationship and perception of mizu
also while rewatching the episode i found this very funny they just lyin there in the cart like this š§š½āāļøš§š½āāļø
#blue eye samurai#mizu x taigen#taimizu#taizu#taigen blue eye samurai#mizu blue eye samurai#blue eye samurai meta#sorry yall but i prefer taimizu as the ship name so i'll probably just be using that from now on š«”#also like.. the way im still recovering from covid while i have 2 deadlines back to back tomorrow and the day after#but im too busy hyperfixating on this show!!!!#if only i could channel all this energy into my actual literary studies papers that'd be great#but at the moment i be caring more about these fuckers than whatever william blake's got going on#jk i do still love william blake's poetry but my stupid ships take up way more space in my brain ykwim š¤#anyway...#shut up haydar#meta dissertations.pdf#fandom.rtf
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Finally found a bit for my Durge
#bg3#baldurs gate 3#bg3 dark urge#bg3 durge#my art#okay so Rogier. duelist sword fighter before the nautiloid. wakes up there with no memory and barely a sense of self#sees himself. finds a broken flute. decides okay okay. so im a musician. devotes himself to being a bard and doing things bards would do#shut up dark urges he needs to create!!!#ive been informed the durge run is uhm a lot so ill see if i can weave this into his story#gale romancer methinks.completely taken by his words. full of wonder for his control of the weave. the poetry of it all. like music to him.#any mechs followers i have left who see this devastatingly informed by my friends i have made jonny dville#rogier-posting
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Rory liked Dean but she didnāt love him. She liked going on dates with him. She liked that heād spend time with her and watch movies with her and get along with her mother. But there was no fire, no matter how much she wanted there to be one. She couldnāt burn like she did for exploring the world and the written word. She couldnāt burn for him.
Rory loved Logan but she didnāt like him. She loved his freedom, his adventurous spirit, his lust for life. She loved how she could let herself go with him, put faith in something dangerous and not shatter. But she didnāt like how cruel he could be to others. She didnāt like how dismissive he was, of responsibilities, of consequences, of peopleās hurt. She didnāt really like him.
Rory liked Jess and she loved him. She liked that he liked the same stuff as her, liked that heād help out his uncle without bragging, and talk with her friends, and throw literary challenges at her because he genuinely wanted her opinion. She loved his honesty, his integrity, how heād leave her speechless with his gaze and breathless with his kisses. How he looked at her, all of her, and never made her feel like she was lacking. She liked and she loved him. And it scared her shitless.
#REMINDER: THIS IS MY INTEPRETATION OF THINGS AND NOT OBJECTIVE WHAT SO EVER#AND I AM AWARE OF THAT AND MY SHIPPING BIAS#really I do think itās more complicated than this and that she liked and loved a little of all of them#I ājust like the sad poetry of this take ya know how the one she felt it all with was the one she couldnāt handle being with#gilmore girls#jess mariano#rory gilmore#literati#the potato rants#gilmore girls meta#my meta
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