#as a major life event thing
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✉️ tracking update on your delivery → ☆ @rosahope
He fiddles with a compact, the mirror dusty with bits of powder. Clip clap, clip clap. He should probably put it down before Chibs snarks at him... or before he breaks it.
He tilts his head over the side of her vanity chair, lazy and feeling more than a little boneless. He's glad they don't do reservations. Or, like, planning of any kind. They would really be late, and he'd feel like they were wasting time.
Instead, he's perfectly content sitting here just spending time in the princess' space while she tries to make up her mind on an outfit.
"Hey," he says, tone mild as if this isn't totally out of the blue, or a dodge to her various inquiries of this or that. He's glad he has a minimal closet--black goes well with anything. "D'y'think I should do somethin-- with my hair?"
Clip clap, clip clap...
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i miss carpisuns sometimes </3
#not necessarily that I regret switching over but i just get like nostalgic for an earlier time in the ml fandom#s3 was soooo much fun for me#and the long hiatus before s4 was also the best. so good wasn’t ready for it to end when it did haha#things just feel so different in the fandom now#both the fandom has changed and I have changed#and of course the STORY has changed#and I like don’t know what to do about that or how to react#cause I am used to being one of the guys who is defending ml’s honor with my life lol#committed to spreading positivity#and I still want to be that guy!#but it’s like. idk. I don’t recognize this story anymore#this isn’t the same story that I fell in love with years ago. but I don’t want to just like Leave??#I do want to see how things play out bc I am still invested in these characters#and I would love to still be part of the fan community and connect with people over a mutual love for this thing#that has been important to me for years and has inspired me to create and learn new skills and make new friends!#but I also don’t just want to shut up and pretend I’m happy about things I am decidedly unhappy about lol#like it’s honestly surprising to me that a only a small minority of the fandom seems to feel the way I do?#and the majority are still super pumped and frustrated at the people who are complaining#and really. I don’t WANT to rain on anyone’s parade. I honestly don’t#I was part of the parade for years! I had the best time in the parade! I don’t want to ruin the good time!#so i try not to be too salty on main ? but i feel like I’m going a little crazy lmao! like I’m just one bitter little miser fhdjjd#i mean i guess it’s kind of a good thing that I moved blogs tbh lol#cause now when i whine only a fraction of the people have to be exposed to it 😂#but man i hate knowing that people might think of me as a salter#I mean it’s valid if people are trying to have fun and do not want to hear my complaining haha#but also do i automatically have to be a salter. are the only options support and defend ml 100% at all times or Be A Salter#or can there be a third category of certified ml lover that is just disappointed in recent events & disagrees with the new writing direction#is that too much nuance for tumblr lol#see maybe that’s why I miss carpisuns. she didn’t have to ask this question. she was only full of LOVE!#but therein lies the irony…like marinette I have made this choice out of love…for what the story once was…what is to become of me now…
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What are life series things that happened in the series but you never/hardly see them used in fan content, and wish they were?
I’ll go first with the two that come to my mind immediately, both having Martyn for some reason:
- 3rd Life, Scott’s final death, when Martyn and Ren were chasing him, but Martyn wasn’t red so he couldn’t hurt Scott and instead tried to slow him down so Ren could catch him. One of Martyn’s attempts to get Scott to stop running (and the last one before Ren killed Scott I think!) was yelling stuff along the lines of “come here and give me a hug! I wanna cuddle before you die!” And I’ve never been the same since but nobody has done anything with it. Mean gills fans, I’m begging you. I don’t even care WHAT you do with this. Just anything.
- Double Life, we all know the boat boys died to that portal trap. People do plenty of fan content surrounding that. But what I DON’T see a lot of is the fact that Martyn went through the same portal trap, accidentally stumbling across the mine craft equivalent of their corpses. Pretty sure he got in the same spot Joel died. So Martyn’s “allies” (exes) had to pull him out of a crime scene. I’m like. Silently losing my mind about it and I don’t see any fan content with it. Martyn being stuck with Joel’s burning body in the portal trap that smelted Etho.
EDIT: SO I DOUBLE CHECKED AND I MISREMEMBERED. THEIR STUFF WAS NOT STILL THERE, IDK WHY I THOUGHT IT WAS. Making up memories fr 😭 but it’s still the same portal so yeah 😁 EDIT 2: Martyn did say he saw the items outside the portal so actually?
Please add anything that you personally think about a lot, any minor details that you think are neat or major things that happened that you’re honestly quite offended nobody’s done anything with. Anything you can think of.
#trafficblr#3rd life spoilers#double life spoilers#life series#mine are rather violent and gorey tbh (depending on how you choose to interpret the first one)#but it can be little things like. a flower. but most times ppl use flowers the fans go wild so idk.#it could be major events but a small detail that ppl keep leaving out when using it and u wish they didn’t#this isn’t meant to complain about the fandom. just to bring attention to things ppl overlook or didn’t notice. for fun!
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Not to flex but I stayed the night at a girls house and showed her Darmok as an introduction to Star Trek and this morning she came downstairs and handed me a coffee and said "Temba, his arms wide" so like. chat should I marry her
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the lesser known did symptom of not knowing anything about your life because not only do you not remember anything (and the memories you Do have are heavily fragmented so you have no idea when they occured), but you also consistently destroy all traces of yourself during dissociative episodes. rip every diary ive tried to keep and almost every social media account. i will never know what i got up to or who i was during those years
i have a spreadsheet i use for documenting memories that turn up before i can forget them again. where i also do my best to estimate what year or season or month they came from. but its all just such a mess. even 2021 onwards which are supposed to be my therapy years are very very patchy. i wish i could just know my life
#kostik speaks#having a moment#is it fucked up that the vast majority of what i can place on my life timeline is directly lifted from the internet archive#where i desperately try to remember old urls and see if any evidence of my existence has been immortalised#just so i can know what i was doing. and who i was. and what i was going through. when.#anyway#im so upset about how much evidence of myself ive destroyed now that im finally trying to put the pieces together#just because i refused to accept that was me and i took it upon myself to delete the old mes from existence#over and over again#because reading what id written and identifying with who i was was immensely dysphoric and distressing#any sort of life history is just. not there#i try very hard but i rely a lot on other people and archives that i cant wipe myself#because otherwise the pieces of my memory just dont work and none of it makes sense#its tough#just had to ask my mother when my grandmother died#it was really not long ago#because it was a significant event. i have a memory fragment of learning the news. i have no idea when it was though#maybe learning the time of year will explain some things. heres to hoping#im venting ignore me#i must have asked her before already but! youll never guess. i forgot#so i asked again and this time ill get it on the spreadsheet#so maybe i can build up a small timeline of that section of the year around that date#thats what im hoping. heres to hoping
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season 9 has been amazing but i’m kinda excited to be around for the beginning of a hermitcraft season, they were well into the empires crossover arc when i started watching double life (which was pretty much my introduction to mcyt in general) so this is gonna be my first time actually being around for the early game
#man i REALLY fell into this whole thing ass backwards#it literally all started bc of scar#my sister knew about him and i was like ok so i’ve just seen this man play minecraft#and it was somehow the most stressful thing i’ve experienced in my life#and she was like ‘would you like to see someone desperately try to keep him alive for approximately 6 episodes’#i watched all the life series (at the time) in reverse order and then moved on to hc 8#which i feel is worth mentioning bc this watching order caused me to have what seems to be a pretty unique series of realizations#it was like oh wow scar really is that stressful to keep alive -> oh shit there’s prequels to double life?? ->#oh shit the double life (and prequels) players are in OTHER minecraft series??? -> holy shit the double life guys can BUILD???? ->#(discovers the swagon was a ‘starter base’) HOLY SHIT the double life guys can BUILD -> MOON BIG??????? ->#NORMAL HERMITCRAFT SEASONS ARE *HOW* MANY EPISODES????????????#-> */CROSSOVER EVENT??????????????/*#and that’s just the major story beats that shit was a JOURNEY#mumbling#there were some other notable shocks along the way#like the discovery that the popular fan interpretations of the life series involved any angst whatsoever threw me for a LOOP#bc they're all so clearly being silly goofy with their buddies#to be clear i'm so on board with taking it all extremely seriously for the sake of Lore#it's all very fun#but going in i was not expecting it at ALL
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its not unusual at this point for me to go several days and occasionally weeks without posting here BUT this time i'm going to have a good excuse and her name is hurricane helene and she sucks and i hate her
#trousled rambles#first time i've ever been effected this bad by the Big weather events bc the terrain that i live is usually very very protective. yayy#i am safe and okay however it's not possible to get in or out of my town (or even my driveway lol) & my power might be out for several days#meaning i'm effectively stranded & cut off from most things for a good while now. wahoo yippee yay#when i say i can't get in or out of my driveway btw i mean the thing is literally gone. like it's a gorge now im not joking pipes are outtt#and when i say nobody can get in or out of my town i mean there isn't a single highway or interstate or normal ass road still in tact rn#the only way in or out is by air and that's not. particularly accessible to the average person#also cell service is gone completely in the very large majority of my region (i got lucky w that part which is why i can post rn)#and everywhere is flooded real real bad#if anybody recognizes what area i'm talking about pls pretend u dont and do not doxx me tha nk uu#i usually wouldn't be posting This much detail about my area but like#this is one of the worst storms i've ever lived through in my life and i feel like i gotta talk about it or i'll explode a little bit#especially since i've only been able to get myself to look away from the news for like 5 minutes total in the last 48 hrs#anyway point is i will probably not be super active for a bit! i'm sure you're shocked#if anything insane happens papyrus-wise just imagine me running around in circles and throwing myself into the nearest standing water#fuckass storm
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Aro culture is debating for YEARS if trauma made you aro or if you always were. Then you get informed about Avoidant Personality Disorder and now you’re sitting here like.. I’m aro and have a personality disorder?????????????? Because that makes a lot more sense. I do yearn for connection because of the disorder but I do not feel consistent romantic attraction 😳😳 it’s like bearly there at all like an incense that keeps going out.
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#aro culture is#aro#aromantic#actually aro#actually aromantic#ask#mod axel#at this point i've accepted that whatever's going on in our head is symptom soup#like there's genetics for a number of things and trauma so whatever the result is#i can at least say with certainty that therapy alone was Not E-Fucking-Nough for reducing depression symptoms#and neither therapy nor anxiety meds reduced our anxiety to any noticable degree#and i mean like. therapy through my university required us to fill out the PHQ9 and GAD7 every single appointment. i generally had 3 weeks#in between appointments.#2 years of pure therapy mildly reduced the depression numbers - from the 96th percentile in students - to something more like...#still major depression but not *that*#and anti-depressants got me to like... just ever so barely below the threshold between severe and moderate depression at its best#but! as we noticed while talking about this#i had one (1!) single score over three years of therapy that was not IDENTICAL for anxiety including when trying antidepressants with#anti-anxiety capabilities and when trying a specific anti-anxiety med#the single difference was by one point down and honestly it was mostly a little blip of nice life events#brain sure goes brr in here
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can't wait for these stupid boys to cause mayhem
#it's so funny writing hogwarts as a no magic elitist boarding school#also forgot how mean an avg 11 yr old can be like the stupidest things are such a big deal#but major life events are forgotten in five seconds bcz hw is due#marauders#remus lupin#sirius black#james potter#wolfstar#marauders era#wolfstar mafia au
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I ran today!!! It was good!
With any luck, I will run again tomorrow ☺️
#AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH#MY EMOTIONS ARE A SHIT SHOW!!!!!#AND IMMA JUST GONNA ROLL WITH IT TILL THIA PASSES!!!#WOOOOO!!!#Things are settling down.#budgets are getting balanced#made it almost a moth sine my last major life event. I'll take it.#Gonna go find a snack
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y’know those ‘x character without trauma’ videos? trying to think of how ford would fit into one of those, but can’t because the only time he didn’t have trauma was when he was like. a literal infant
and stan too, yeah
#also it’s really weird#everyone has at least a little trauma and the trend sort of. oversimplifies the concept i feel#ford without trauma wouldn’t be ford because we have never known ford without trauma#who the fuck would i be without trauma. would i still be afraid of fireworks and dogs? because both of those fears were caused by trauma#would i be happy? would i be able to trust more easily? that’s a depressing thought#but you see the point i’m going for?#i think most people use the trend for like. major life altering events to the point that they completely change the course of that#character’s part in the story#but even “minor” trauma can do that#i don’t know. it’s a really nuanced thing and i don’t know if the idea of “x without trauma” is really something that is even possible#anyway. that was a rant and a half
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is it possible to die from stress
#this has been THEE most stressful month of my life literally i was not made for major event planning#too many things can go wrong and they are literally all going wrong rn…….#less than a week before my big event at work and just got a REALLY frustrating message and now i’ve never been so stressed in my life#trying to remind myself it’s literally not a big deal in the grand scheme of things#but DAMN. i am not going to be sleeping at all between now and wednesday
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#i havent been able to make digital art for almost two months#all of the things in my life Happened at the same time its been crazy#but the last major event has finally passed this weekend so things are settling down finally#this was pretty cathartic to make#dogyolk#art#oc#ferris#heartache#kirby#maudie
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I love taking care of people omggg 😍😍😍
#i love when i can go into nurse mode and get people what they need and run through the checklist of what helps#especially if i know the person because then i already have a handle on preferences or what they typically need#i have like. half a degree for a few things and i have a specific interest in physiology and psychology#i also used to really enjoy crisis management and peer support stuff but theres a lot of elements of that i cant do anymore#because the toll that shit takes is more than i can pay#specifically crisis related events#theres a lot I have to work through yet before i can manage those situations#anyway. my dream situation would be to work with someone to help them figure out what they need#like. assess the situation. find resources if needed. check on their ability to address basic daily tasks. make crisis plans.#start some basic dbt conversations and try to figure out what help they need and how to get it#i know some people dont want to go to a traditional psychiatrist or psychologist for whole host of extremely valid reasons#so being able to help them with self help or finding other alternatives. or just like. being a person they can regularly talk and vent to#because sometimes people don't have anyone. and just one person in their life can make a major impact#and like. its not exactly like therapy in that way. like i have the knowledge base to incorporate aspects of it in if wanted/needed#i think some people just need to be heard and that can help them move forward#and my goal isnt to like. transform you or whatever. there are people out there who need help but its hard to start#or it's difficult for them to access what they know they need#and i just want to meet people where theyre at and help them take enough small steps to being able to live how they want#like. harm reduction type shit. if you just need clean needles thats a step forward. and maybe its the only step they feel they need#to be happy. and now they can have a little bit of a safety.#like. a little more agency over how they want to live their life while improving quality of life#a step is a step man#anything that moves you toward the life you want counts#you deserve a win#the edible hit part way through so sorry if theres incomplete and tangential thoughts#also how can i do this shit for profesh??#i know similar jobs exist but theres a huge foundation of shit i just dont agree with built into them
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ultimately i do actually enjoy the ghibli films i watch theyre well animated and always have an interesting way of conveying the message theyre trying to convey i just cant stand the fandomification of the films so much that i outright refuse to watch some films on principle
#like yeah the beauty of nature and of the mundane in life IS integral to the films and its important to talk about when you talk about their#meaning but the 'hashtag cottagecore' 'hashtag ghiblicore' 'hashtag i wish someone would look at me like howl looks at sophie' drives me up#the wall can we please talk about anything else. can we please talk about any fucking thing else#i saw the boy and the heron at an early showing and i really enjoyed it but walking out i heard ppl confused about the events or the point#and at the risk of sounding pretentious like. the point was very clear! the themes were very clear! but i think theres this broad idea that#ghibli films are movies you go to to just look at pretty things and turn your brain off and i think that does a major disservice to the#movies themselves. stories have meaning use your brain im begging please god im begging#sorry if this sounds mean im just complaining and being a hater
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i did a thing
#crocheting#it was a really shitty day and i don't want to talk about it. i just need to yap#i will probably unknowingly say some borderline deranged traumatizing things further but idk its just the way i am#my existence itself is a major trigger warning so be aware#the only highlight of the day was the (i suppose) wlw couple i saw at the subway while pulling out shit like burdock out of my dress#i won't elaborate on the last piece can i be a little mysterious and less pathetic#so the wlw couple. one girl hugged the arm of the other girl and put the head on her shoulder. i saw that and was like “damn”#if you have a person you can willingly do things like that with you should know i would kill god just to be in your shoes#please cherish it#i didnt really look at them that much but then we got off on the same station and somehow they managed to overtook me#they were right ahead of me still all over each other and then it has striked me#that the girl hugging the arm of the other one was actually disabled and she needed help to walk properly#actually they were faster than me because my legs today are a total mess lol it hurts like hell just to make a step#but this is obviously just a temporary inconvenience and its nowhere near the problem that girl has#i don't compare myself to her in this regard but ive found this parallel kinda poetic#like how i as a relatively healthy individual with no major health issues was envious as fuck of those two#how i was walking in 0.25x with a shit ton of thoughts in my head while she was limping happily with a girl in her hand and smiling#no pity just envy and pure admiration. i want what they have#but im not sure if I deserve it. or actually need it#if i actually had something like that in my hands i don't know whether or not i would crush it into pieces#and then cry over it to the day i die. do you get it. am i too dramatic or too shallow as a person#originally i planned to talk about another thing entirely but this day has crushed my head and heart like a hammer#and now its turned to mush#no i guess it was a mush since long ago. then lets say this day was just crap. or life itself#nothing really happened to me but it reminded me of how helpless i am as a person vs the world and i hate being helpless#maybe ill tell you the story of how i lost the sensation in my fingertips another time when im not that traumatised by life events#(i lost it by saving a damsel in distress after walking out of the night bar a year ago. its a clickbait)
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