#would i be happy? would i be able to trust more easily? that’s a depressing thought

[thereareeyesinsidethetrees]

y’know those ‘x character without trauma’ videos? trying to think of how ford would fit into one of those, but can’t because the only time he didn’t have trauma was when he was like. a literal infant

and stan too, yeah

[gothicfied]

can you write a squid game fic or head cannons of other characters finding out the reader is struggling with self harm? If so, thank you and I understand it is a sensitive topics and may be uncomfortable to write.

Squid Game season 2 characters x reader who struggles with sh

Featuring: Thanos / Player 230, Se-mi / Player 380, Cho Hyun-ju / Player 120, Nam-gyu / Player 124, Kang Dae-ho / Player 388, Park Min-su / Player 125, Kim Jun-hee / Player 222

(Trigger) Warnings: Mention/Talk about sh, depression, and things of this nature, this is comfort/angst, not proof read (english isn't my first language)

Summary: Basically what the ask says

A/N: hey! I hope this is what you imagined, sorry if some of these are ooc😞🙏

Thanos / Player 230

જ⁀➴ Before he really knew, he'd constantly make your life a living hell, basically making fun of your shyness. He'd make certain comments to which he knew you wouldn't react to or would try to persuade you to vote in favor of the game containing.

જ⁀➴ You'd constantly tell him off and to leave you alone. It didn't really help, though. Thanos would just sit down next to you and talk your ear off about what he wanted to do with that prize money.

જ⁀➴ When you stood up to leave, rollung your eyes at him, he grabbed you by your wrist.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" Thanos blurted out, giving you an offended glare. "You know, it's really rude to just leave a conversation like that." When you tried to get out of his grip, your sleeves rode up your arm, revealing scars you weren't proud of or wanted him to see. When you realized it, he did too, immediately letting go of you.

જ⁀➴ Since Thanos knew what it meant to struggle with mental health he did actually leave you alone for now. But, after the next game, he approached you again and sat down next to you. "I'm sorry about yesterday." he said, patting you on the back.

જ⁀➴ He related to you in a way, but didn't want to ask you about what went on in your private life. Now you just appreciated that he seemingly didn't overstep any boundaries anymore and even checked up from you every now and then.

Se-mi / Player 380

જ⁀➴ You and her had been a duo ever since she came up to you and complimented your looks. Even if you denied it or not, she'd repeat it multiple times, winning you over with her charm quickly.

જ⁀➴ You two had the same mindset on a lot of things, originally voting 'O', thinking you were able to survive one more lousy game. That game was a death scare. Nothing about it was funny anymore. You appreciated your life too much these days to die like this.

જ⁀➴ When the second favor didn't go your way, both Se-mi and you now voting 'X', you felt helpless. One night, the two of you were sitting on her bed, just talking about your past and how you got to this point in the first place. While Se-mi was more secluded, only telling you that 'there are so much worse things she had to face when she got out' you trusted her enough to tell her about a sensitive time in your life.

"I'm not really secretive about this anymore," you pushed your sleeves up, revealing faded scars along your forearm, "but yeah. It was all pretty fucked up. The whole debt thing didn't make it any better." Se-mi looked at you with raised eyebrows, her fingers tracing the lines on your wrists. "I knew you were strong. Don't worry, we'll get out of here."

જ⁀➴ She put in double the work to protect you — She just wanted you to start a better life with that money and be happy, free from debt and all of it.

Cho Hyun-ju / Player 120

જ⁀➴ Hyun-ju noticed from the start that you were more secluded, more prone to cry, panicked easily. It was clear to her that you were struggling with this situation, perhaps even more than that. She made it her task to help you as much as she could, comfort you and keep you close to her and her group.

જ⁀➴ You'd often rant to her and tell her what bothered you after she reassured her she'd take care of anything possible. Hyun-ju was the anker you needed in this shithole and you just appreciated her very much. Everything she did seemed to be out of genuine interest and not just to gain your trust and abuse it.

જ⁀➴ Accidentally, Hyun-ju did catch a glimpse of the scars you were so desperate to hide. She didn't mention it, feeling like it wasn't her place to comment on it. Her heart did break for you, though.

જ⁀➴ From then on, she made sure to speak softer to you and distract you from all the horror around you.

Hyun-ju hugged you tightly against her chest, her arms engulfing your figure. "Tonight things could get a bit scary," she mumbled into your hair while she rested her face against your head, "I just want you to know now rather than find out later. I'll keep you safe, you know that." You just nodded, reciprocating the hug after a few moments.

Nam-gyu / Player 124

જ⁀➴ When he found out, as you didn't make the effort to hide them or anything, he did refrain from provoking you in any way. Nam-gyu related, as he considered his drug use not to be the best thing he could do to his body.

જ⁀➴ Both of you hung around in the same group, since Thanos really wanted you on his team, constantly giving you compliments and flirting with you. It annoyed him to a degree, scoffing everytime Thanos tried to talk to him about how pretty you were, how much he wanted you, give you the world. In Nam-gyu's opinion, he didn't get you.. didn't get what you went through, at all.

જ⁀➴ One evening before lights out, the two of you were teasing each other about something and laughed together — something that rarely occured amongst the other players.

"Want me to show you something?" Nam-gyu asked you, leaning a bit closer. Chuckling, you replied with a 'mhm' and watched him pull up the sleeve of his jacket, revealing skin tracks along the inside of his elbow. You raised an eyebrow: "Oh?" You took his arm to get a closer look, tracing his skin with your fingertips. "Well, we all have our stories, huh?" The man nodded at your wrists, making you look at them too, like you didn't already know what he meant.

જ⁀➴ The both of you grew close to each other, much to his amuse. He was a junkie, you were depressed.. it's like a disaster in the making. But, you didn't care. He was sweet and weirdly kind to you — Not in the way Thanos was. You made sure to hug Nam-gyu a few times more after that, in case it could be the last time you'd get to do that.

Kang Dae-ho / Player 388

જ⁀➴ You were glad to be on Gi-hun's team from the start, since Dae-ho and you got along really well. As a former Marine, which he was super proud of obviously, he declared he'd protect you immediately after you met, making you laugh.

જ⁀➴ He was kind, strong and funny, but maybe a bit oblivious at times.

During the six-legged pentathlon, you two sat next to each other, cheering the current active team on. Yelling and screaming filled the area as they crossed the finish lind just in time, making everyone erupt in cheers. Dae-ho immediately hugged you with joy, excited to see the five live another day, at least. After pulling back witha laugh, you gave him a small high five with your sleeve rolled back. When noticing scars along your wrist and forearm, the former marine gasped pretty loudly. "What?" you asked with genuine concerning, fearing something was wrong with you. "Oh, I'm so sorry," Dae-ho pulled your sleeve back over your arm. "Dude," he looked at you with wide eyes "it's fine." You needed to hold back a laugh.

જ⁀➴ Dae-ho felt so bad to havs accidentally seen something you've been struggling with, that he couldn't help but apologize profusely. You repeated to him that it wasn't a big deal for you and that you were working on this problem, but he didn't stop nonetheless.

જ⁀➴ You thought it was cute how much he seemed to care for you and how often he came up to you just to tell you that he appreciated you. And Dae-ho did, he didn't just say that to make you feel better.

Park Min-su / Player 125

જ⁀➴ Min-su is just shy over all. When he noticed it, he wouldn't say a thing. He'd be dead silent, maybe even a bit scared to talk to you. He was just scared he'd make it awkward, somehow hinting that he knew about your scars. Min-su was just someone who overthought a lot and even you noticed it.

જ⁀➴ After a bit, it annoyed you — The sudden lack of his presence next to you, the fact that he wouldn't properly talk to you anymore, it was all just weird and confusing. So, you decided to ask him directly.

"Did I do something wrong?" your voice wasn't stern, but Min-su could tell that you were kind of upset. "Ah, no-" he quickly replied back, shaking his head, "it's really not you!" He looked at you with his typical innocent face, making it hard for you to keep pressing him about this matter. "Then what is it, seriously?"

જ⁀➴ He explained what he saw and said that he just felt so sorry. Well, at least he didn't speak to you because he didn't want to hurt or upset you, which was really thoughtful.

જ⁀➴ You'd expect that he would now be the one to comfort you or something, but no it was the complete opposite. Min-su seemed to worried about you and kept asking you how you were feeling or if anything bothered you. You had to keep reassuring him that those times were in the past and that he didn't have to be so worried.

જ⁀➴ It was really cute though, so you let it slide.

Kim Jun-hee / Player 222 (implied fem!reader)

જ⁀➴ Since Jun-hee and you were pretty close in age, you two had found each other right away. You kept telling her that she needed more protection, or at least an ally like you, on her side sincs she was pregnant. You weren't really serious about that, just chuckling when bringing it up, but ut definitely made Jun-hee trust you a lot more. It was a critical situation she was in and she was glad to have you by her side.

જ⁀➴ You even banged on the door in the middle of the night to make the guards take her to the bathroom when she was to shy to do it herself.

As ths pink guard brought you to the womens bathroom, Jun-hee held onto you, clearly being in pain. A few minutes later, you were washing your hands and tried to fix yourself up, looking a bit disgusted in the mirror. "What is it?" Jun-hee emerged from one of the stalls, chuckling. "Man, I look like a damn zombie. Look what this place has done to us." Instead of getting a reply, you noticed that she was staring at your arms, at your scars. You had taken your jacket off for convenience and kind of forgot about them. "Oh, I'm sor-" Jun-hee interrupted you, "No! No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have stared like that!"

જ⁀➴ Obviously everyone had their struggles, but now her own kind of seemed insignificant next to yours. You were doing so much for her and she didn't even know that you were struggling. She should've thought of that.

જ⁀➴ When voicing that thought to you, you felt bad that you made her feel like that. With a hug, it was all sorted out. Jun-hee cared deeply for you and she could tell that you cared for her like that, too. It was nice to know that someone had your back in a place like this.

[haziells]

my way

until it reaches the void state

(this will be a long post)

1. the end, the beginning.

I knew about the law of attraction years ago thanks to social media, so there it was, like every day trying to manifest my desires.

I was fed up, every day was the same.

My heart healing and breaking everyday, the same cycle of hope and hopelessness continues.

was it always going to be like this?

would I always have to let fears take over me?

I couldn't trust, I didn't believe that just by believing I could get what I wanted but at the same time I had no other option.

I couldn't go on like this, I didn't want to go on like this, I just wanted to end my life, I gave up and cried, cried, cried thinking that this would be the end, that I wouldn't be able to be happy and that was it.

I gave up and thought I was resigned to living a shitty life.

But I cried so much that all the sadness that was in me came out, all the fears that were clinging to me came out.

That's when I felt peace, when I realized that no, I wasn't going to give up that easily, that I first have to do it and do it well, not keep trying.

So I persisted for only 2 days, as I already had my desire for that moment and yes, after 2 days my 3D had already reflected it, it was exciting.

did i reallt do that? was it just a coincidence?

No, it was really me.

I was happy for a few days until the fears returned but this time I was afraid of losing my desire, that's when I realized that fears have no meaning.

I already have it, why would I lose it?

2. I discovered Tumblr and the void state.

I didn't know what void state was, but as soon as I read about it, it caught my attention.

By then my self-concept had improved, I was still dealing with my fears but not as much as before.

So, I made a friend who explained to me more about the void state and she told me that she manifested her house through the void state.

I got excited and hopeful, I read some methods on how to get in and tried to do it, but I couldn't.

I couldn't do it, the simple idea of getting everything so easily sounded easy and fantastical to me.

But one day I realized who I really am, that I am everything, that nothing and no one has power outside of me.

I was filled with satisfaction, joy, peace, I felt like laughing knowing who I am and how easy everything is.

How did I first enter the void state?

so I had a subliminal audio playing in the background while I was meditating.

I thought...I am so powerful, I am capable of anything, I can have whatever I want whenever I want.

At that time I was very sleepy because I had taken some exams, so I just thought "my physical body is going to sleep and rest and I'm going to the void state"

After all, the void state is me and there is nothing easier than being me.

And so it happened, I entered the void state and knew that I already had everything just as I wanted, then I came out and continued sleeping while I didn't stop smiling and feeling a sensation of peace and extreme happiness.

I woke up and stood calmly until I realized what had happened...

I was scared shitless when I realized that I had entered the void state for real and that at that moment I should have everything I wanted and that was when 3d reality disappeared before my eyes.

Everything began to collapse and I felt a huge current of energy running through my entire body, as if it were a waterfall flowing inside me.

I was very scared, I won't deny it, but after all I did it.

(I swear that just as you see in the gif, that's how I felt at that moment)

The following days I couldn't stop shaking and feeling scared because I didn't understand how it was possible that 3D could disappear just like that.

Then I read someone here talking about non-dualism. @lotusmi

Then I understood my experience.

Since that day everything is much easier for me.

I have entered the void state 3 times.

that manifests?

.cure my depression.

.cure my anxiety.

.trust myself.

.longer eyelashes.

.money.

.be able to manifest easily.

.prettiest voice.

.I am spoiled.

The rest of the things I manifest are more private.

But basically for me this is the best thing that could have happened to me.

I will mention who were the bloggers that I read to understand more about the void state and about who I really am.

@gorgeouslypink

@lotusmi

@beesfairlyland

I will also mention a blogger whose information I also like and I find it cute.

@sugarplumfairy777

If you want to know more, you can send me a direct message, no problem.

[qin-qin16]

SWEET SWEET LOVE

Summary: book tropes with Cross, Error and Ink!

cw.: 0.6 k content: sfw, short headcanons, hurt/comfort, everyone gets a happy ending… unless?, depressive thoughts in Error’s part, but nothing extreme!  note: i really don’t know how to end headcanons, but have fun anyway! Error's part was inspired by this post!

Cross - you fell first, he fell harder + dog poetry

You always compared Cross to a dog, one of those who trust in nothing and no one; 

They bark, they bite, they hurt anyone who crosses their path. No one wants to get close to a dog like that; 

However, you began to see more than just that wild layer that Cross seemed to want to display. Behind all that anger, all that hatred towards everything and everyone, the deep envy of happy worlds, you managed to see the pain, the fear of never being able to live happily again after so many sacrifices; 

And, just like a dog, Cross just needed to learn to trust again, and of course, you were willing to be the one to teach him; 

Both of you had to be patient—and you also had to be very understanding during Cross's outbursts of feelings or the moments when he wanted to be alone; 

It wasn't easy, but God, how worth it it was after all this time; 

As you like to say: you fell in love first, but Cross fell harder in love; 

It was like having a poorly trained guard dog: he would do anything to protect you. Bites, growls, endless fights if it meant your safety; 

He wouldn't lose you, not like he lost everyone else; 

And if not losing you meant acting like a dog, he would act.

Error - Soulmates + second chance 

Before Error became, well, Error, you knew him as Sans; 

Souls intertwined across different multiverses, but after a long time, they managed to find each other again — even after Sans' death and his afterlife state (Geno); 

For a long time, you lived like this: a love between a ghost and a living, souls that should not have been separated by death; 

However, something changed. Overnight, he simply disappeared; 

No more gentle touches, no more whispered promises before sleep, no more starry nights where only the two of you were witnesses to your love; 

Any mere memory of him was like digging a hole deeper and deeper, a hole that, no matter how much you dug, seemed to have no end; 

So, was this what it was like to lose a soulmate? 

But even as this emptiness consumed you more and more, something deep within your SOUL would not let you give up, an unknown determination that refused to let you believe Sans had vanished forever; 

And your SOUL was right... well, partly right; 

Sans was indeed alive, but no longer as Sans; 

Again, something happened, and now you found yourself facing Error who, with great insistence, claims to be your former boyfriend; 

And even though your SOUL was telling you that yes, that was the Sans you knew, are you willing to give it a second chance? 

Whether he knows your answer or not, Error would not lose you again.

Ink - Enemies to friends 

Your first impression of Ink was far from pleasant; 

The disgust you felt for him at the moment was only surpassed by anger when he vomited black ink on your new shoes — and to top it off, he barely apologized, just turned and vanished behind another ink stain; 

Obviously, a presence as striking as Ink's wouldn't be easily forgotten by you, and sure enough, when he appeared in front of you again, you wanted to make him eat those same shoes (now permanently stained with ink); 

But to your surprise, he had returned to learn more about your universe (something he would explain much later what it meant); 

As much as you detested the idea of serving as a tour guide for someone like him, an airhead who had no consideration for anyone, you went along with it. After all, the sooner you started explaining how your universe worked, the sooner he would leave;

Through ups and downs, you ended up softening your heart towards Ink. Even though his lack of personal space sometimes irritated you, you could see a certain fascination in him every time he talked about universes and art, and whether you liked it or not, you also felt sorry for him for not having a soul; 

And like a great (new) friend, he even promised to take you to other universes to explore and have fun — what could possibly go wrong?

[th3-c0rps3-r0gu3]

hidden sadness.

pairings: Natasha X fem reader.

Warnings: depression, lots of sadness. Swearing. Thoughts of self harm. Yelling.

Happy ending tho.

A/n: this is a vent post. And Natasha is only a year older than y/n in this. Please do not mind me dumping my bottled up sadness here.

Y/n had joined the Avengers when she was 23. She had been hoping for a new start. And she had always been really good with daggers. Like exceptionally good. So she had gained the avengers trust quite easily.

The avengers would describe y/n as walking sunshine. She was always able to cheer someone up or just bring the happiness level up in general. It was a known fact that y/n was friends with every avenger. Every avenger other than Natasha Romanoff. For some inexplicable reason Natasha hated y/n. However despite Natashas dislike for her y/n was always kind towards her.

Natasha would describe y/n as a clingy childish girl who never experienced the hardships if the world and probably had everything handed to her on a silver platter. And the only reason that y/n was on the avengers was because her dad brought her a place and claimed she was good with daggers.

Nobody had actually seen y/n handle a dagger. But every mission y/n went on came out successful so they assumed she was as good as she claimed. Everyone but Natasha who suspected y/n just had someone else do the job for her.

Y/n however was far from either of the avengers expectations. She was a happy ball of sunshine on the outside but inside was a while nother story. In all reality y/n was sad. Desperately sad. Y/n found it hard to even get up of a morning. She forgot meals and basic health things. Luckily she could easily brush it off as simple forgetfulness as it fit her personality.

Despite y/n desperately wanting to tell someone, anyone, about her sadness she couldn't. Not the avengers. They had enough issues to deal with as well as their own sadness. Y/n's mother didn't understand. She tried to but she couldn't grasp her daughter's depression. And y/n's father had left for another woman a year ago. Not that that changed anything as he basically ignored y/n her whole life. So y/n bottled her sadness. Well she had one place she put it. A blog she had. There she could dump all her emotions under an alias where noone would recognise her and tell the other Avengers.

On social media y/n went under "inej". Her favourite book character whom she shared her dagger and knife skill with. Y/n's blog was her safe haven. The one place where she could be y/n y/l/n and not just "the silver blade" which was her hero name. Nobody but y/n's followers knew about y/n's depression. If it's even depression. Y/n don't know. All she knew was she was sad.

"hey y/n you think you could show us your daggers?"

Kate asked from beside yelena. The other Avengers turned to look at y/n.

"sorry Kate not today. Maybe another day."

Y/n responded shooting Kate an apologetic look. Y/n didn't like to show her daggers to others. They were special. Her grandma handcrafted them specially for y/n before she passed away. She had left y/n with twenty daggers in a wooden box with a glass lid. It was important to y/n as it was the last thing her grandma ever gave her.

"of course you cant. Because they don't exist. Admit it y/l/n you use your father's power to get your missions done."

Natashas voice broke y/n out of thought. It was cold and cruel but y/n was used to it.

"sorry to disappoint Natasha but I don't use my father's status to get missions done. I do have daggers but I can't show them to you. It's personal and I've said that."

Y/n gave Natasha smile. Natasha had always been y/n's favourite avenger. It saddened her more that Natasha hated y/n. Natasha simply scoffed at y/ns words and smile.

"what's personal about daggers. Their just fancy knives."

Natasha's insult hurt. Not that y/n would ever show it.

"leave it alone nat."

Steve said frowning. Natasha glared at him before leaving the room.

"sorry for her behaviour y/n."

Steve said then turning to y/n.

"it's fine Steve. I'm used to it. I know she'll eventually get over it."

Y/n responded calmly. She then hesitated.

"I'm gonna go to my room though. I feel awkward now. I'll see you all later ok."

Y/n then finished. The avengers nodded and y/n retreated to her room.

Y/n had a simple room in which no one but her was aloud in. It had bookcases lining two walls and a bunk bed with a study area underneath in the corner. There was a picture frame that held two photos. One of y/n with her mother and the other of y/n with her grandma the day she gifted y/n the daggers. Under said photos was the box contained the daggers. The daggers were intricately decorated with dragons or crows. Dragons because y/n adored them and crows as a reference to y/n's favourite book duology, six of crows.

Y/n climbed up to her bed and lay down grabbing her phone to dump her emotions on social media. Opening her blog she created a post. It just went on about how her friend group had one person who hated her despite her attempts at being friendly. And her slight struggles to deal with her depression and not being able to discuss it. After posting she turned off her phone and lay down sighing. Y/n didn't feel much better. She glanced back at the daggers. What if... No. She couldn't. She wouldn't. She didn't have the heart to do it. Let alone deal with her mother's sadness or the avengers sadness if she was caught. Besides her suit was sleeveless. Y/n buried the thought to the back if her mind.

A few hours had passed now. Wanda called everyone down for a team meal. Y/n wasn't hungry. She made the simple excuse of she wasn't hungry and went back to her room. Not after getting another snarky remark from Natasha though. This time a dig at her size. Y/n wasn't big but she wasn't skinny like the others either. It wasn't a bad thing and y/n knew that but it still hurt.

Once back in her room y/n turned in her music and as 'devil town' by cavetown came on she pulled out her sketchbook and drew. That was y/n's only other coping mechanism that kept her away from sh. Other than reading, drawing was one of the only things y/n legitimately enjoyed anymore. As the lines started to take a shape y/n realised she was drawing a realistic heart that was cracked open and bleeding. Disturbing but accurate to y/n's emotions currently. Mean while downstairs the other Avengers were arguing with Natasha.

"you can't say that natasha. It could really hurt her feelings y'know."

Wanda scolded. Natasha rolled her eyes.

"she's a cinnamon bun Wanda she's fine."

Natasha said. Wanda frowned at Natasha and was about to make another comment when Yelena interupted.

"can we not do this over dinner. You two can have your quarrel after food."

Wanda and Natasha sighed before sitting back down. Everyone ate in silence as the obvious tension between Wanda and Natasha was uncomfortable.

The next few weeks went by almost the same. Y/n continued her happy persona and Natasha continued to make hurtful jabs while the other Avengers disapproved. Y/n continued to act like it didn't matter. Then Natasha and y/n were assigned the same mission. It was simple. Break into HYDRA put the information on the hard drive and then blow up the place. Easy right. Wrong. Natasha was furious.

"why can't I do it on my own!?"

Natasha fumed at fury. Y/n stood there silent.

"I don't need some happy go lucky daddies girl bugging me as she fakes being an avenger!"

That actually hurt y/n and she flinched though nobody noticed.

"well there's obviously some drama between you both and you need to figure it out. Besides the other Avengers need a break."

Fury remained professional despite the red head yelling at him. Before Natasha could even think of a response fury left. Natasha whipped around to face y/n.

"you better not fuck this up or I will fuck you up got that daddies girl."

Natashas voiced dropped with venom at this statement and y/n simply nodded. The black widow proceeded to storm out of the room leaving y/n to mull over this situation.

The day of departure was the hardest y/n ever experienced. She felt so heavy. It was unbearable to leave the sanctuary of her bed let alone her bedroom. Despite all odds she managed to get up and grab her daggers and change in time to meet Natasha. Y/n had also grabbed a couple books and her sketchpad. This was not a single day mission and y/n knew she was gonna need some coping mechanisms or else things would go south.

Y/n met Natasha at the launch pad to board the quinjet. Natasha scowled at y/n and went on about her nearly being late. Y/n was early. They boarded and started the long flight to the HYDRA base.

The majority of the flight Natasha scowled at y/n and made harsh comments. Y/n simply read to drown it out. As soon as they landed and headed to the hotel they were staying at Natasha made almost silent judgements about the way y/n held and carried herself. Y/n simply sighed and tried to ignore it. They checked into the hotel and entered their room. Lucky for them it had two beds. Y/n set up to the one next to a window and natasha on the one closest to the door.

The first night y/n and Natasha needed to discuss plans if the break in. That was mostly Natasha telling y/n what to do and ignoring any statements y/n made before bringing them up later as if her own ideas. Y/n went along with it.

The next day they were to stake out the base. It went as well as one could anticipate from Natasha and y/n. Natasha constantly criticized y/n and said she was too obvious and how this was just proof of her faking her missions successes. It ended worse. Y/n had ended up in a trap and Natasha had to get her out before HYDRA agents found them. It was worse when back at the hotel.

"how could you be so stupid! Had I known you were this shitty I would've demanded a new partner till I got one! You jeopardized the whole mission you know that right!? Your not an avenger. Your a pathetic excuse who only got to join the team cos her daddy brought her a spot."

Natasha yelled. Y/n blocked out the rant. She had heard enough if Natashas rants to know the lines this one would take. Bla bla ball you could've got us caught. Bla bla bla your a failure. Bla bla bla daddy's girl. That was all Natasha's rants. Soon however Natasha ran out of air and stormed into the bathroom to take a shower. Y/n decided to make a post for her blog.

'inej':

-hey guys. I think screwed up again. It's all I ever seen to do now a days. I truly feel like a failure. I could've gotten my friend in trouble on accident. I've also been left alone with the friend who hates me. I keep fucking up and I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm trying. But sometime it feels like it's not enough. Stay safe.-

Y/n posted it and then turned off her phone before pulling out a book to read the rest of the night. Y/n knew sleep was not gonna be an option tonight. Sleepless nights were more common now.

Today was the infiltration day. Today was the important day. And y/n could only think about how she was gonna fuck up. Natasha got ready and y/n joined her outside. They were soon both outside the base again.

"ok I'm doing all the work as your incapable of doing anything right. Just follow my orders and maybe you won't fuck this up."

Natasha demanded. Y/n nodded. Natasha then lead y/n in.

At first everything was going smoothly. Till Natasha was downloading the information and it tripped a security alarm. HYDRA agents filled the room and Natasha and y/n were fighting for their lives while gathering the information. Y/n didn't have time to grab her daggers and she wasn't too good at hand to hand combat without them. That and the sleepless night and y/n was fighting terribly. Natasha obviously noticed and took it as y/n being incapable of doing the mission and a liar like she thought. Then Natasha saw the files were downloaded. She quickly went to retrieve the USB and turned to yell at y/n to ditch before g/n barged into Natasha and a bullet was shot. Y/n yelled at Natasha to grab the USB and run and that she had the bombs to blow it up. Natasha did run. She felt no obligation to help y/n. Soon after Natasha was out y/n got the time to whip out her daggers and soon the agents were dead. Y/n planted the bombs and exited the building and blew it up. Y/n met with Natasha at the hotel room.

"what the fuck were you thinking!? You nearly got me killed. Your pathetic attacks were useless! We could if failed because of you. Let alone you jumping at me!? And where are you stupid daggers huh!? I never even saw a blade in your hands!"

Natasha screamed. Y/n was tired and bleeding. Littlest did Natasha realise was y/n had take a bullet for natasha. Had she not jumped at Natasha she would if died. But all Natasha was doing was yelling at y/n for saving her life. No. She had enough.

"I jumped at you to take a goddamn bullet!"

Y/n finally gestured to the bleeding wound in her chest. Natasha shit up but before she could speak y/n began to yell this time.

"and the reason I didn't pull out my daggers was because I didn't have an opening to! I saved your stupid life and what I get is being screamed at!? I've tried so hard to get to where I am now. And you daddies girl comments sting y'know. And if you knew jackshit you'd know that my father left my mother for another woman a year ago. Even before that he hardly acknowledged my existence! I have tried so hard to be good at this but I can't! I'm just sad all the time. I struggle to get out of bed. Yet I try to keep you and the other Avengers happy because I don't want to bring down high spirits! Maybe this was a mistake and that being an avenger was a shit decision but I enjoy it! Or I did."

Y/n finished her rant and then looked at a shell shocked Natasha. The y/n pulled out her bloody daggers.

"and those non existent daggers are here."

Natasha now stared at the daggers. Then she eyed the bullet wound.

"i.. I'm sorry. I didn't know."

She said almost shakily.

"no. You didn't know. You don't bother to know. To know Ive been miserable near you. I've thought about self harming before but you have nearly made me actually do it! And y'know what. Maybe I should. Just to relieve the pain you cause me!"

Y/n shouted. Natasha looked scared at the mention of self harm.

"don't do that. Don't even think of that. Please I'm sorry. I didnt... I'm sorry. I am truly sorry."

Natasha said. Concern was written all over natashas face as tears streamed down y/n's. Natasha stepped forward.

"Please dont, cut yourself..."

Natasha begged. Y/n looked away.

"it's just so hard.. you making comments. Being judged about the fact I won't show my daggers because I'm not ready to face the fact that if I show them I'll need to say who gave them to me and then that leads to grandma's death.. I cant. I can't admit she's gone because if she is then I'm lost.."

Y/n practically sobbs. Natashas eyes widen at your explanation of why you refused to show your daggers. Natasha then wrapped y/n in a hug.

"I'm sorry. I was just jealous. I thought you had a privileged childhood and got everything you needed and was upset because that privilege was taken from me. I'm so sorry. I never meant to take effect in you like I did."

Natasha whispered. Y/n simply leaned into Natasha's arms.

The rest of that night was filled with, Crying, hugs, admitting troubles and making up. The two women then became friends and returned to the compound as such. They proceeded to confuse the fuck out of the other Avengers as they had departed basically enemies and now y/n and Natasha were arm in arm. Natasha explained everything and y/n was taken to therapy. Things soon got better. And eventually Natasha and y/n grew into more than friends.

A/n: the ending is shit but I didn't know how else to do it. (I redid it like 20 times). Lmk if it's shit or not. Not that I care this is just me emotion dumping lol.

[naturesapphic]

Slipping On Tour

Caregiver!lauren jauregui x little!fem!reader

Warnings: age regression

It’s been months since you’ve been able to regress. You were on tour with your girlfriend Lauren and her band members and it’s been tough trying to relax enough to regress. Everyone has been pretty stressed recently which doesn’t help and you know Lauren has been stressing out more than the rest of them.

Recently to, you’ve been getting a lot of random hate lately. You didn’t know where it came from and why it was happening. You didn’t do anything and you’re barely on social media anymore, especially after getting with Lauren and gaining some fame. You are a very sensitive person and having this hate and not knowing what you did, was making you withdrawal from everyone and being more depressed.

It was a few days later and the hate just kept coming. You managed to keep it from everyone, including Lauren which you felt kinda bad about but you didn’t want her to worry more. Shes been worrying about enough stuff and you didn’t wanna add to her plate. It’s been getting to a point now where you just couldn’t handle all of it anymore.

Lauren could tell something was up and she knew that your big self wasn’t gonna tell her what was going on that easily but she knew that your little self will. She’s been worried about you for days now and she needed to know what was happening. Lauren knew how to get you to slip, so she gathered up all your things that help you regress and texted you to come here.

You walked into the hotel and saw your favorite tv show/cartoon playing, with your favorite toys sprawled out everyone, your favorite snacks, blanket, etc. Your eyes widen in surprise and you already felt yourself start to slip slowly and Lauren was started to notice that. “It’s okay babygirl. Mama is here, you can be little as long as you need to.” She said in her gentle voice, making you melt.

She got up from the bed and walked over to you, brushing some of the hair that had fallen in front of your eyes. You looked up at her through your eyelashes, your innocent eyes making your girlfriend swoon. “My precious babygirl. You know you can trust me.” She whispered and you whimpered slightly at the honesty in her words. You nodded and hugged her tight, feeling yourself slipping. “Would you like to tell mama what’s been going on?” Lauren said gently as she rubs your back in a soothing way.

You nodded and slowly started telling her everything. Lauren felt her heart break when you told her about all the hate you’ve been receiving and couldn’t believe that the harmonizers would do this to her baby. She knew later that she will make a post about you and tell everyone to stop with the ongoing hate but right now, you need her and that’s what she’s gonna do. Lauren loves you very much and she will do whatever she can to protect and love you.

A/n: thank you to the person who requested this on Wattpad! I hope y’all enjoy it! Remember to stay hydrated and to res! Take care of yourselves. I love y’all! Happy Sunday :)

[thestarlitmidnight]

🌙A Court Beneath the Silent Nightsky🌙

Summary: Kaela, survivor of the massacre on one of the temples by Hybern. After being the sole survivor, she falls into silence, refusing to speak to anyone. She is lost in haze of overwhelming grief and depression, which rendered her unable to function properly anymore. She is send into the library in Velaris, the safe sanctuary for the survivors as her high priestess can no longer to bare the sight of her suffering in her temple. Kaela is accompanied by ever present Morrigan, who took it as her mission to break this brooding strike of hers. Since the first night spend at the library, she meets bewitching stranger with violet eyes that steals souls with mere look into them, who seems to be ever lasting presence ever since their first encounter, seeming as broken as she feels. Will they be able to be source of strength for each other? Will they overcome the endless dances with theirs demons and be finally happy? Fandom: ACOTAr Pairing: RhysandXFemOC Warnings: This story is dealing with themes of depression, PTSD and heavy subjects like those, please, if you are easily triggered, better to skip this one. Word Count: 13 013 Chapters: 7 Master List

Chapter Two

"This is a library, nobody without agreement from the high priestess which leads this place cannot enter. You are completely safe there," the blond female who picked me up at my temple kept talking and talking, my mind almost started to spin with the amount of words she managed to say In one minute. That was impressive.

"All the priestesses who live there have as difficult past as you do, some survived the attacks and for them, this place was created. A place to feel safe and be able to heal peacefully in the company of those who understand how difficult battle it is," this part of her rambling campaign was at least somehow interesting. 

So there were other attacks? Other survivors? How come this never reached my ears? How much was lost? 

"You will have your room up the stairs, shortly I will show you, but before that, let's look around, let me show you other priestess you will be meeting?" She offered, but those words almost caused me a heart attack. 

I stopped dead in my tracks and my breath became more difficult. Meeting other survivors? Now? Out of the blue? No time for me to prepare? Was this female crazy? 

"Alright, later then," she at least quickly noticed my despair and began to walk again, this time to the direction of my supposed room. 

"There, you can choose to work, shorting the books out, helping the trusted visitors to find their desired books, whatever you feel like doing or you can choose to keep to yourself now, explore around and just feel the new surroundings out," she informed me, forcing another painful sting into my heart.

So this is not out of the good of their hearts. I'm supposed to work my stay there? Even if I can now sulk freely, later, will I be expected to work there? 

It sounded firstly as a some kind of hospital facility, with the new kind of experimental treatment, as building a place for broken souls inside an ancient library. Let the broken ones mingle and share their experiences, finding strength in all that gruesome things we survived and other shit like that. 

But after all it was a convenient way, how to keep the library staffed? Were they short on employees here so they thought maybe bringing a bunch of traumatized girls who will work there in exchange for sanctuary was a good idea? 

Oh I want to go away already.

"Outside these large doors you will find yourself in Velaris, a city where you will be just as safe as there, up the stairs, you will find the House of Winds, but climbing all those stairs would not be a comfortable experience at all, let me tell you. All the way down there, it's a place where you should never venture. Tales have it, that under the library lives a spirit which protects it, better to leave the ancient spirits sleep and don't wake them up just by mere curiosity," Morrigan gave me an important look, walking up the stairs as if it was nothing but a mere morning stroll around the temple. 

I, on the other hand, was catching my breath with despair. Physical activities were something I don't engage in anymore. Especially after my right hip was so badly twisted, that I developed a slight, but notable limb. It limited the rage of my movements and doing anything physically demanding was a painful experience. So she can be sure that I wouldn't go anywhere, where those cursed stairs lead.

As we stopped in front of a door, the third one on the hallway which was dark, but nicely furnished with plants and paintings on the walls, she turned back to me and gave me a warm, reassuring smile.

"I know it's difficult, the things you survived, they took a piece of your soul with you, believe me when I'm speaking from experience. They all expect you to go back to the old days, old self as if nothing happened. They think that if they give you time to heal, you will be the same old self all over again, new and shiny. What they don't realize is that there is no coming back to pieces of us which are long time dead, lost forever. You just need to get to know this new you which was born from the burning, pick the pieces from the ash which remained and put a new person together. There is no pressure, no time limit, no expectation. The only person who knows how to make it through is you, nobody else, so if endlessly brooding and sulking is the way how to reach the next day alive and breathing so be it," she patted my shoulder and opened the door, before she left, almost dancing down the hallway with the grace of skilled dancer. 

Her words ringed inside my mind. Heavy and loud. Truthful. Yet unwelcome. I wanted to suffer, to feel the pain of things which happened and let them break me, kill me even. Just like my sisters were killed back then, right in front of my own eyes. They were used as toys before and after death, the monsters didn't care if they were breathing or not. 

How come they killed all of them, slit their throats, slaughtered them as pigs but let me live? All of them died, spared of the horrors which happened to them, not needing to face the truth of the action taken against us. Yet they let me alive, broken, bloodied, but alive, living to tell the story. 

But I did not. I couldn't. I couldn't share the stories of witnessing my sisters being abused and then killed. Could not describe to them the feelings of being thrown on the same floor I was supposed to be scrubbing today, covered in their blood and their bodies. How I wished to just die and be over with it, get away from the physical and mental pain. 

When the soldier, who just emptied himself into me, when he reached for the digger to slit my throat like they did to my sisters, I was happy for the hell to be over. Yet the commander, he commanded the monster who forced himself on me, to leave me alive, saying that it will be worse than being killed.

And he was right, of course he was. 

So how can there, in those ashes which Morrigan so beautifully described, be any of the old me left? The flame was way too strong to leave anything behind. There was nothing for me to pick up, nothing to put back together. 

The room was simple but nice. Table with comfortable looking chair, closet, big bed which looked like it will be comfortable as well. Carpets were spread across the floor to keep the coldness from the stone floor away, there were plants and shelves with books, some paintings hanging on the wall. 

Welcoming room, empty of any memories, fresh and clean from any past staining it. The warm colors which dominated it were nice and gave the whole room a cozy touch. 

It was more than I deserved, more than I was worth. My sisters were reduced into ash, burned and their ashes were spread from my cliff, letting them join the universe once again, a place where they belonged now. 

I should be out there with them. Not there, in this safe, comfortable and warm room.

Chapter Three

[disfrutalakia]

You know I'm always in the Pac cubito trenches, woah have some of my headcanons smile

- After the happy pills he's always wearing headphones, blasting music. He can't stand being left to his own thoughts because he physically can't stand the silence and it sends him into a panic

- We know Pacs malnourished, I think part of him is scared of getting more weight in him cause he worries if something were to happen, he wouldn't be able to escape as easily

- I think his mother might've had generalized anxiety and his father had clinical depression, and both of them didn't treat it correctly. Pac unfortunately wasn't lucky and inherited both </3

- He was in a catholic orphanage. He doesn't believe in the God the orpanage taught him, but sometimes when he's stressed or anxious he recites the prayers he was forced to learn. Ironically, it soothes him

- I personally hc him as a ftm transman. I think he knew very early in his childhood but kept it hidden, until Mike came along. Mike was the first person he came out to

- To follow the previous hc, I think he got top surgery when he was in his late teens. He and Mike used some spare money they had saved up from their heists to pay a surgeon on the down-low (Pac felt guilty about it but Mike encouraged him). The doctor was suspicious about the money but didnt say anything because, well, lots of money

- Same w what you think, I think he figured out he was bi during prison. Putting a questioning man in an all-male prison would definitely get his mind going lmaoooo he's had lots of partners but nothing that lasted two weeks because they were always on the run (and the commitment issues pffft)

- i think after they ran away from prison, pacs body and mind fully collapsed. he and mike stayed in an abandoned house for weeks just so pac could slowly heal and thats where mike worked on his first version of Pac's leg. Being bedridden left Pac doing nothing but just listen to the radio, and after some tweaking the antenna, he found a very deep voice talking about a certain anarchy server. Listening to the transmission made him feel less alone and isolated :]

There's definitely so many more im forgetting rn but trust me im so ill about this cubito

AGHHH AYNEE EATING THIS UP SO GOOD THANK YOU FOR THE FOOD

God the one of him being scared of getting more weight in case he has to escape ough the cubeee

I love the one of him hearing Fit transmissions so much, it fits well with the fact that the cc knew Fit at the start and agh

I love the headcanon of him being from a catholic orphanage, dude who doesn't believe in god but will still cry asking for God's mercy when the situation is dire because it helps him even if just a bit

Ftm Pac I love youuuu, he would so be the type of guy to bind in an unsafe way cause he never had anyone to teach him the proper way until he was older

God I have so many headcanons of this cubito i might do a bigger post with all of them cause AGH

[gamerbearmira]

spiderwoman au-

You know how Spider! Mirabel is all happy and hunky dory like 1610 Miles is? Happy, naive, trusting, etc. But Miles prowler variant isn't? Depressed, tired, cold, not a villain but not a hero either, etc.

I introduce to you, Venom! Mirabel: (sad angst ahead)

So, let's just say Venom! Mirabel got her symbiote when she was only eleven. Julieta worked for Alchemax and therefore could bring Mirabel whenever she wanted to if she couldn't find a babysitter.

A symbiote was being tested on and researched over most of the times little Mirabel was just around. One day a fire caused most of the Alchemax to explode, the symbiote got out, and out of an act of kindness, it protected her from being burned.

A little thought I had was that the symbiote liked Julieta, she was gentler with it and talked to it kindlier than the other scientists did. Sometimes the symbiote was able to see a few glimpses of Mirabel and once, was able to see her up close behind glass.

Alma, Pepa, Felix, Agustin, worked there to. Just in different districts. Her daughters decided to follow in her footsteps and therefore met Agustin and Felix there.

So, before the building could fully engulf in flames, the symbiote broke out of glass and protected her from the fire. The five adult madrigals, however, didn't make it.

Mirabel was found in rubble by some firefighters and taken back home. Bruno was surely devastated, as well as the other grandchildren. Antonio was only three months old when it happened, so he didn't really have that much time to bond with his parents, tios, or abuela.

Bruno, who was thankfully left with Alma's inheritance, was able to care for the grandchildren the best he could.

Even though they were fairly high class in wealth, Alma always thought it would be best for her children to live in middle class neighborhoods. She thought that because she came from a typically rich family, and she couldn't stand how uptight and entitled everyone was.

She met Pedro in a simple diner in a Brooklyn neighborhood she was told to never go to. The rest is already known, except Pedro died from a home invasion.

Even through that trauma, she still preferred to live in a simple neighborhood. The people there weren't fake, mean, but at least they were truthful. No one had an image to uphold or someone to impress, they were just people trying to earn a living. (Plus, she wanted the triplets to live next to Pedro's parents)

Her parents cut her off but thankfully she was already working as a scientist at Alchemax. She wanted her children to learn the value of just living life, not valuing money, so she raised them how a typical middle-class mom would (or at least tried to)

So, Bruno and the grandkids live in a big apartment in Brooklyn. The older girls are in college, Mirabel and Camilo go to Brooklyn Visions Academy, and Antonio goes to a good kindergarten school.

Mirabel and Camilo were friends with Miles 42 since second/third grade, thankfully they ended up in the same prestige school so they could stick together.

When Miles 42's dad died, they were able to bond on grief and become a little closer as friends. But that didn't mean they were happy, not at all.

Mirabel still misses her parents and other family members every day and cries herself to sleep most nights. The only people that know of the symbiote attached to Mira are Miles 42 and Uncle Aaron.

She saw them going around places and stealing medicine, and she wanted to help. She instantly figured out it was them; she could recognize Miles' braids and Aaron's behavior easily.

Go here: Unused Spider Verse Test Footage: Prowler "Wiles" Morales - YouTube so you can know what I'm talking about.

She offered to help or more like "I'm helping you and you can't say no to me"

She introduced her symbiote buddy to them, it freaked them out, they got over it, and now she helps with missions when she can.

She often calls Uncle Aaron "Tio Aaron" and Rio "Mama Rio". Same for the other grandkids. And when you think about it, Rio and Aaron are the only parental figures they have in their life. Bruno is their third figure, but he's still at a loving uncle distance.

She's a year older than Miles here (like how Spider! Mirabel is with 1610 miles), so she calls him "Hermanito" a lot, much to his distaste. She's also a few inches taller than him so she uses his shoulders as an arm rest often. Sibling tings.

I feel like Mirabel has more of an alt aesthetic, just to match 42 Miles a little bit. Blacks, Blues, and whites are usually her color scheme.

-

So, let's just say Spider! Mirabel, Spider! Antonio, and 1610! Miles end up in Earth 42. They were all being chased by a bunch of spider people (fighting for they life), told they were nothing but anomalies, far from home, and ended up in a foreign world.

All three of them were tired and exhausted (physically and emotionally) by the time they got to Miles' "home". Mirabel and Antonio stayed on top of the roof to keep an eye out for Miguel or anyone who looked like a problem.

Mirabel got knocked tf out by her variant and Antonio...boy just passed out from exhaustion and shock. Miles gets knocked tf out too and all of them get tied up to a punching bag. Both Mira and Miles staring their variants in the eye.

Other V! Mira facts

V!Mirabel has eyebags, always low lid eyes, some scars along her face and body, and lighter brown eyes.

She's a heavy eater, more so than Camilo, because she is literally eating for herself AND an alien.

Has the weirdest food combination, because again, there's an alien attached to her with the weirdest food cravings.

Loves to code and make a few gadgets here and there.

Instead of the accordion, she likes to play with an APC and make beats from time to time.

BVA's top student, as well as Miles and Milo.

She still embroiders and sings, but she boxes too. Miles is usually her boxing buddy.

Mira stopped doing ballet at eleven, she just lost motivation after most of her family died. She continues to do gymnastics but only to make her fight better in combat.

She is a smart a$$ if you've ever seen one, give her the chance and she will get smart with you. Dolores had to hit her with a wooden spoon once or twice to make her tone it down. (And trust me, Dolores keeps that spoon locked and loaded just in case anyone wants to get smart, as well as a chancla).

Makes sweaters and some baked deserts for Rio, Aaron, and Miles. It's her way of showing affection because, unlike spider! Mira, she doesn't like being touched that much.

Likes teaching Antonio how to code and make some tiny robots here and there.

The symbiotes name is Mariposa, name given by Mirabel of course.

Whenever Rio gives attention to anyone other than her or Miles, she gets a little jealous.

But she is MAJORLY jealous of spider! Mirabel having her whole family intact and happy. So, she has a little resentment toward her. Can you blame her?

Very observant of everything, even small details. That's how she easily noticed who Aaron and Miles were when they were flying across the sky. And in her eyes, they weren't hiding their identities very well to begin with.

Rio, Bruno, and the other grandkids think something romantic is going on between her and 42 miles and they are just like..."no". But they do find it funny.

Mira does NOT eat people, if Mariposa is that hungry Mariposa will just remove itself from Mirabel and go after whoever was a threat at the moment. Then it will become with Mira again, but under no circumstances will it eat someone while fused with Mirabel. The creature already knows the girl is traumatized it doesn't want to traumatize her more.

Also, if Mirabel smells anything related to fire smoke, she'll get extremely nervous. If there's a fire nearby, she'll try to help get people out but she's gonna be having flashbacks of what happened to her all through it.

afterwards she's just gonna break down crying. Oh yeah, she hates crying, so when she's doing it, she tries her best to stop.

That's all I got, but more spider stuff coming soon.

WOWOOWOWOW SO COOL!! I do remember some Venom lore. Not a lot, gotta brush up tbh but I son’s really invest in it too much 💀💀 ANYWAYYYY. VERY SAD. But at least Bruno stepped up because. It must’ve have been hard on all of them, but especially Bruno. Bro lost his whole family and the. Had to step up to raise some kids. One of them mfs got a symbiotic, which is. CRAZY 🦜

Passing out from exhaustion is so real. Common Antonio W

[snowzing1]

Cats are funny. They have a funny way of mourning things

Cats are creatures notorious for going wherever they want and holding freedom. Even permanently leaving behind a home they've had for as long as they can remember

Human they don't care about is suddenly gone from their life? Already said they don't care. Big animal that's scary is gone? Good riddance. They're tossed from one home to another? In general terms, as long as they are fed and watered nothing matters

In fact, arguably, hypothetically, if their owner became deceased in their own home, leaving the cat to starve, the cat is likely to easily eat said owner out of survival instinct

Cats are adaptable

They seemingly show to gain such little attachments that they are flexible in where they go, unpicky, almost open to changes as long as they are fed and watered

But at the same time, cats show to have high free thought. This free thought is paired with natural high perception. On a logic vs. Emotion appraisal, they arguably lean further in logic.

So what if a person is missing? Just one could mean many things. If this was a pattern, that would raise concern. In a new environment completely unfamiliar? Caution advised, as long as the basic requirements are there they'll accept this fate. If it becomes a place they do not feel their requirements are met, they aren't afraid to leave. A creature they grew up with perishes? Survival and logic come first, lest they die themselves.

I once heard, though I could very well be wrong, that cats evolved their meows to mimick closer to that of a human child, enacting our instincts to protect young.

Cats are generally built to be survivalists with logic

But cats aren't soulless husks for the devil himself to possess either. They arguably show great compassion in life

A mother cat can be protective of her young or cats may be protective of young in general. Though, with that in mind, mother's may disown a kitten born with an illness or deformity to protect the other kittens. She may even kill the ones deemed the weakest if she feels unable to cope or lacks the ability to produce enough milk for the litter. If a kitten passes during or shortly after birth, a human taking the kitten before the mother realizes will greatly distress her as she'd still try to care for it. Upon realising she will focus on the rest of the litter. More logic over emotion. And I could say more about still borns, the mother may eat them for nutrients (there are theories it's also a form of coping with loss), burry them, or bring them to a trusted human. But like, there's a lot. Point is, mother's will still lean to logic but show emotion via wishing to care for the young

The most prominent example I can think of is purring. Something everyone is familiar with in some way. When cats are generally happy or relaxed, they purr. It's a satisfying sound to hear

Another example can be how well they are able to notice behavioural shifts in a person based on moods. In particular, I'm focusing on sadness. They are surprisingly well at percepting a person's change in actions are, if they actually care about you, have an instinct to comfort you in some way. Request pets, snuggles or just purr

------------

I also didn't mention that even males will take the place of mother's if there is a motherless kitten. They will train the youngling to hunt and. You know. Cat things. Though I heard they have a greater chance to do this if castration but I have no personal viewership of this, I've mostly grown up with females and my males never had much of a chance to prove themself. Another thing to note is that males are seemingly more likely to do this when the kitten is specifically motherless, otherwise males are known for killing a litter to mate with a female as with many other animals. Instinct. For cats, Instinct is generally more logic over emotion

If an entity a cat loved did happen to die before them or just generally perish, a cat does show signs of depression. They may eat less, play less, generally feel no motivation to do things, and spend more time alone. But they will show to grieve. An instance where emotion takes over logic

But I feel like a lot of people just can't always tell when a cat is sad. Atleast the people I grew up around. It may not sound hard to notice a cat upset, it's really not, but sometimes it feels like they're treated like the angsty teen going through a life crisis. Just. Ignored and wrote off as being a cat

Fairly unrelated, but i remember seeing a cat once at a pet store who tore it's fur off its tail and it actually made me cry. Just so miserable there. Looked so dead inside and moved so slowly. Placed in the middle of the store for easy viewing. A part of pet stores I hate to see. I hope it was taken into a good home

And now I just have random thoughts and what not about cats like. Beneath this. Because. I'm rambling and don't expect half of this to be read by anyone because I'm rambling so much

Cats don't always are for their names, either. They show to be capable of understanding what sounds and syllables we make to say their name, they show to understand you are refering to them specially. They just don't always give a fucking damn that you request them. That's not to say all cats react to their name calling the same, I've had plenty of cats that show various levels of acknowledgement

-------------

One of the worst psychological tortures you could do to a cat is leaving them in a single, small room, little to do, and no sound. Just like for people. It drives them crazy and they're much more sensitive to an undersimulating environment than us. It's funny how understimulating can easily understimulate people

Many animals will sacrifice their offspring fir themselves when in danger. The young are expendable in comparison to the adult who can reproduce a few more times over. It does not mean they wish to throw away their young, but logic over emotion. Likewise, the only reason people care so much for their children is comfort. It is a luxury to be so well in life that we can focus on children above adults because we are not at constant risk of predators. Emotion has been allowed to flourish and affect our logic to create moral compasses

Cats have a small set of life desires to make them happy at any set moment: being provided substance, freedom to choose, and flexible engagement from other entities

My first ever job I worked at, we had a cat in the store. Grey cat. We called him our mascot. Always came in the morning at opening, had a pet bed in the store front, and a litterbox food upstairs if it was too cold to kick him out for the night. He'd also hide some days by the end of the shift to attempt to stay inside. The best part of every morning was seeing the kitty

Hypothetically speaking, if we did not separate cats and allowed them to live together, reproduce as much as they like etc. How long would it take for them to cease incest and murdering of a mother's litter for mating? Currently, cats are often separated and isolated from other cats to a degree, especially families. They are very unoften given a chance to develope with their family to full adulthood and past. Therefore mating is still high on their survival instincts. They do have the luxury of raising a family. Yet they are seemingly much further along than dogs in the form of being able to acknowledge safety, awareness and general intellect. If they are unhappy with an environment, they will leave. So in theory, if they never left family and continued to reproduce together, they would evolve to form a moral compass against incest, litter murdering and the general instinct to mate all together

The idea of burying waste is so engraved in a cats instinct that even kittens are hella easy to litter train. First day with a cat that couldn't be older than 5 months, most likely less. Bam. Done. Cat is chilling. Cats are even able to be toilet trained if you care enough, which would significantly reduce how horrid it smells when they go potty. And also a quick, easy fix

Cats love high places to hide in aswell. They love bird eye views and the upper hand. Also love observing or just in a place where they cab be aware

A cat who is distressed does not blink often. This is a survival instinct to be aware of its surroundings. They also like to hide in small, low spaces with easy escapes

I really love cats. They are my muse and the only reason I stay on this earth

None of this was really scientifically backed or anything, just my own thoughts on observation. Not every cat is 100% the same in anyway either

I'm not proof reading anything I wrote I'm going to bed

[jayedshifter]

Hello! We're looking to adopt a few little bitties! If it's alright with you, We'd like if you chose for us, We'll take the bitties you recommend happily! Thank you so much! - Crim

ooooo!!! I would be so happy to try and do a recommendation for you! Though I don’t know too much about your bitties- I’ll try my best to get you a good match!

I think I only know of 7-8 Bitties if I remember correctly of what you have, a rescued Omega(?) being one of them,

I haven’t gotten to know your other bitties too much so I’m working with what I know so far! :D

From what I have seen you have a Swap!Sans (Unsure of Fannon or Cannon)

Fell!Sans

Horror!Sans

your Posttale!Flowey

PostTale!Sans

Rescue Omega Dove

and

Baby Dandilioness

Elimination Round - I Don’t really recommend them- if you don’t want any of my suggestions then I highly advise not getting these bitties if you want to look for yourself! However this is still up to you if you feel you can handle them then I strongly encourage you to try a test run ^^

❌My Pretty Kitty Bitty line is all high maintenance and would put some strain and stress on you, they are also prone to depression and depressive episodes and do better in more affectionate households because they need constant support and reassurance- I would not recommend getting one unless you are willing to commit to them

❌Charmsters Tend to collect weapons and bad things and antagonize other bitties and can be stubborn without an Iceber

❌Iceburs are defensive and untrusting and you will have to take a long amount of time and effort before they ever consider trusting or listening to you

❌Glossers Extreamly bossy and clean freaks

❌Clearboos Extremely high maintenance and clean freaks and become easily depressed without a spotless environment (absolutely no mess or messy items will be tolerated, including makeup, hair, powders and such things)

❌Since you have a rescue I cannot recommend my SugarBob or ‘Candy Killer’ because they tend to cause problems and rile up emotions even with their tendency to be able to ‘sense’ and ‘feel’ emotions and intent more easily then most, they can be quiet independent and sassy but they also melt and get sticky and make other bitties want to eat or fight them (this may not be good with a growing Dandilioness knowing the AlphaTale line which she has from what I can tell almost all of her Bitties have a ‘Cannibal’ trait)

❌Rice and Bouse pair are nippy and territorial not very good for your Posttale Sans to deal with at all especially since they may be intimidated by him and therefore defensive

❌ Shri are loud and vocal and may disturb your other bitties a lot, especially sensitive ones like your Horror bitty type which I find to be sensitive to sound(this is not true with every Horror though and you know your bitty better then I do), Dove and your new Baby Bitty will also be awoken with you a lot in the night since that is when they are most vocal and may deteriorate recovery of your dove by draining their mental health with the lack of sleep

Now that I’ve gotten that out of the Way here are any recommendations! ✅Snowflake Bitties are easy and quick to adjust to a new environment! They love new things and like to explore and would easily settle in! They might need a bit to adjust to your Fell/Edgy bitty but I haven’t a doubt that they would do well with you!

✅Lopy Is a lower energy Bitty that is great with young bitties and children and will be happy to help around! Because you have a baby bitty in your home they will not experience any heats until the Bitty has matured fully, they can be a bit finicky and sensitive when it comes to hotter temperatures but they are a sweet and caring companion that will adjust well to others!

⚠️⚠️⚠️WARNING- Please take note of scents to avoid allergic reactions ⚠️⚠️⚠️

✅Fluffsters are extremely softhearted, loving, and affectionate! They are a bit more used to Fell types due to the several types within my shop so they should do okay with your edgy, they will still get sad but not too upset, they can be sensitive but since you seem to be a bit experienced with more delicate types I think they could be a good friend for your Dove ^^

✅ButterBoos are a lot larger then most bitties but they are extremely kind and patient and will listen and help where they can, they adjust easily and tend to nurture other bitties without being asked to, however if you do something they absolutely don’t agree with such as harm another person on purpose without reason they will start to distrust you

✅Cloudys are a very laid back bitty that enjoy mornings and sunrises, they are very peaceful and enjoy quiet times with others

✅Slimester are very parental and kind! They enjoy the company of others and do well in large households especially those with young children! And they tend to be friendly when meeting new bitties

✅Wiggles are a very high energy Bitty and seeing you have a swap made me immediately think of this bitty, they are a high energy type and will help to burn off your swaps energy, they are sweet kind and helpful and love making new friends and companions! They also encourage self care and health and help people through rough patches within their lives ^^

I do hope that they fit well with you and your household ^^ you do not have to adopt all of them it is quiet a large group after all but if you do I can guarantee a lot of love and chaos

[blossoming-sun]

Smh why are there so many AUs focusing on Sheriff but none on the other characters? Now I have to make AUs for all of them.

Mutant Shooter AU (hear me out hear me out)

So basically I was watching the earlier episodes and realised that… Shooter is really not smart. He doesn’t even know what a dictionary is (edit: he calls it a “thing made of paper”, does he even know what a book is?)… which annoyed and confused me so much that I decided to make an entire AU based off it. You are welcome. 

Order of stuff: Storyline, design + powers for shooter, bonus notes, stuff that changes

So basically straight after the great fart, there were still a lot of people left, and most of them were kind to each other and formed little survivor camps. Mutant Shooter was wandering around, saw some humans and was fascinated by them. He loved watching them work together and be intelligent and stuff, and was particularly fascinated by their technology. He found an old gaming console one day and became obsessed. After seeing how great humans were compared to mutants, he decided to become one. But he didn’t really know how to be human. He had no idea how to do most of the things he saw humans in survivor camps do. He wanted to ask them, but even when he was disguised, they chased him away. One day, he saw a human (Sheriff) being chased by a horde of toothys. He drove them off and made a deal with Sheriff: He taught Shooter how to become human, and Shooter would protect him while he stole things. Sheriff was hesitant to trust a mutant especially after everything that had happened, but got used to Shooter after a while. Shooter wasn’t like the mindless beasts that “killed” his brother, so Sheriff was able to trust him more easily. Everything was going great for about 6-8 months, until the day Sheriff stole the morphonite. Shooter couldn’t control how compelled he was to just have it, and insisted on being the only one allowed to touch it. Sheriff was confused, but was like “sure whatever idc”. And then Vegan and BP showed up and demanded the morphonite. Sheriff and Shooter both refused. So they had a massive fight, but while they were doing that, a horde of toxic eyes appeared and they were forced to work together to defeat them. In the fight, Vegan sneakily stole the morphonite and ran away with BP. Shooter was really really mad. Sheriff was also mad. So they chased after Vegan and BP and arrived just in time to see Dr White be transformed into a human. Shooter got really really excited by this  and wanted to know how they did it. Dr White explained the antidote to them but left out the fact that it only worked for colossuses. Shooter wanted to join La Resistance to become human (he didn’t tell the others this, he just seemed really excited to join). Sheriff just wanted to continue stealing things with Shooter, but was practically forced to join thanks to Shooters nagging/ begging. 

And Panic Island happens and Wart is like “WHY ARE YOU ON THE HUMANS SIDE ISTG” and then boom- exposed and Vegan and BP are not happy about this and Sheriff is just so casual about it (and enjoys provoking their reactions) 

Also oh boy, things are not gonna go well when Shooter discovers that the antidote won’t work for him…

Everybody felt too guilty about his excitement to become human to tell him that it wasn’t possible, and he didn’t find out until Sheriff finally took him aside (some point between episode 36-37) and was like “I just wanted to make sure you knew” he did not take it very well, and was kinda depressed for days after. Then Vegan gave him a speech about how humanity is about your actions and stuff, and although he didn’t really understand it, it did make him feel better

Shooter design:

He has scales all over his body (like an alligator) that are mostly blue, with yellow and black patches (like his shirt in human form) He has spikes along his back and on his elbows and the back of his thighs, and is semi-humanoid? He also has horns, and a tail that looks like an electrical cord (Do not try to plug it in. Sheriff tried this, and it did not end well.) and I’m just gonna draw him because this is too hard to explain

Powers:

Creating complex illusions, but it’s limited (he can make himself look like other species, but hasn’t quite mastered anything other than humans yet. When he looks like a human, he will feel like a human and be practically indistinguishable from a human. He can also become invisible (like tongueX)

Yeah no that’s his only ability lol

Bonus notes:

Shooter can read, but at a very basic level

He doesn’t know what a lot of things are and will make up words to describe things

Shooter can’t do math. This has never impacted him at all because this is the apocalypse and you don’t need to know maths in the apocalypse

Sheriff is very protective of him and sees him like a younger brother (Uses him to cope with Ryan dying)

He is a child, but because he was so immature in canon to begin with there isn’t that much of a difference

BP trusts him a bit, Vegan barely trusts him (but warms up to him over time), and Valley thinks he is an adorable lil baby 

He likes to sing, and it’s very adorable. Sheriff finds his singing hilarious but has to force himself not to laugh so he doesn’t hurt Shooters feelings

Shooter can attack things by brute force, but prefers to use guns because they’re way cooler

Stuff that changes:

Sheriff is not part mutant

Brutux never joins La Resistance, and neither do Apocalipsis Samurai and Katani

Brutus would probably appear as a minor antagonist at some point, because he is literally a mafia boss theatre kid and he would make such a good antagonist

Sheriff is not the leader of La Resistance. He was really unhelpful and unenthusiastic about the whole thing, and was an asshole to everyone but shooter until episode 29, when Vegan saved him. Although he is a better person now, Vegan and BP are still kinda salty towards him

Shooter does not have any romance with vegan or Valley, because as I said before, he’s a child

[erigold13261]

The NSpidR AU has a lot of emphasis on Community and Loneliness and I love it as a central theme so imma rant about it here: (NSR also puts emphasis on community and how artists can benefit or be harmed by it)

Community is what makes Miles so strong. He has a caring family (his mom, dad and uncle), and friends from the beginning. (Gwen and Ganke) This is his strength. This allows him to control his powers better, but also befriend people more easily. The community that Miles ends up making is what saves the Revolution in the end.

Hobie is also strengthened by the community they were in. They were alone, abandoned by their family, but they had Ex-Jay and Bunny. It was taught how to control its powers, and also how to organize a community (punk ideology in general). However, unlike Miles, Hobie is still not too keen on trusting adults for understandable reasons. It still needs to learn that some adults (Jonathan Ohnn being an example) can and should be trusted.

Gwen cut noteself off from the community note had, also justified since notes dad said some stupid stuff ("Did you lie to me?"). This made note very lonely and messed up, especially since leaving to Nueva York meant being cut off from Miles too. Gwen was fortunate enough to find a community that respected and supported her. Gwen learning to love noteself and notes buddies is what makes notes strong.

Miguel cut himself off from the community he had with Catherine and Rubato once Gabriella died, without asking for help. This made him think that solitude was the only answer, as repressing powers would probably leave many people lonely and messed up. (Yes he does have friends like Peter B and Jess but at what cost?) Miles ends up changing his mind, after seeing how happy/in control Jonathan was with his own powers.

I could go on about the other characters but I think what can be said is that all of them are able to be more in touch with their powers and happier due to the community they have. Loneliness is what makes them weak, true strength comes from the community. (EG: Noir was helped by Miles with the Rubik's Cube, and that made them have hope.)

(Meta: Peni in this AU looks more like kits ITSV counterpart, instead of being depressed like kits ATSV counterpart. This can be due to the fact that Peni wasn't alone (Noir, Hobie, Margo and Ham were all there for faer) for the whole year between ITSV and ATSV. Also due to the fact that Canon Event Number 2 never happened.)

(thanks for the AU, have a great day/night)

I honestly didn't even realize I was putting that much emphasis on community. At least not intentionally noticed it lol.

I'm really glad you like my AU and honestly love all the things you pointed out. I think it's just my love of found family or "blood of the covenant is thicker than water of the womb" that made me lean a lot more heavily into stories depicting community and helping each other out even if you aren't related.

Pretty sure I lean into lonliness because of my introvertedness, as well as my asexuality and aromantisism. I can't really connect with people IRL as easily as online, so I depict that in my stories (which also reinforces community over blood relations I suppose).

I also realize that I tend to make families a lot more dysfunctional, toxic, or something negative along those lines, probably because of my own family dynamics.

It's just really cool to see how much of myself or experiences I put into my writing without even realizing it until someone like you points it out to me.

All these points are also just super cool to read from someone else's perspective! Thanks for sending in this ask! I don't have much to add on to it since it was already really good.

The only thing I really got to say is that I was trying to make Peni a combination of ITSV and kits comic version. Peni was alone for a while before going to Nueva York, but because fae was able to still make those connections at a pretty young age, it helped a lot in staying happy and chipper.

[marshmallowprotection]

Hello Kait ^^ it's been a while. I was wondering if you could do matchups with one of the boys?

So... I'm an INFJ, 22 years old and currently majoring in intercultural communication degree. I'm the eldest daughter out of four siblings and my love languages are act of service and words of affirmation. I can converse in two languages (Malay and English) and have quite decent knowledge in Arabic, Korean, Japanese and currently learning French.

I tend to describe myself as quiet, strict at times and observant. I'm also more of a listener than a talker most of the time. I don't have too much social battery so I need to recharge from time to time even when I'm hanging out with my loved ones. So I'm very grateful they're all aware of this and would let me be once they saw me getting quiet after a long day out.

Because of my observant nature, I tend to remember a lot especially when it comes to people I consider important in my life. I remember the smallest details about them; interest, hope, fears and dreams since that's how I show my love and adoration towards them.

I also tend to be strict partially because of the role I have in my family. You know, making sure everyone is taken care of and the family doesn't fall apart. This would sometimes lead people to perceived me as demanding or even controlling when all I want is for everything to be in balance.

I don't trust people easily and will have my guards up high whenever I met new people. It requires quite a lot of patience before I can warm up to someone. But of course, once my heart deemed you trustworthy, I'm more than glad to show a more colorful side of me.

I have a soft spot for my loved ones. And because I always have a hard time expressing my emotions, I tend to show my love with action and gestures rather than words. That's why I always prefer spending time quietly with each other rather than going out. But I'm in the headspace to talk and discuss things deeply, I can be talkative and even enthusiastic about the topic we're talking about.

I tend to be doubtful of people's intention or even my loved ones whenever I feel stressed or depressed. This would lead to me withdrawing and shutting them away from me as a mean to protect myself. That's why I think I need someone gentle, patient, thoughtful and considerate whenever my mind is not in a good place.

I'm very interested in languages, history and culture. My hobbies are reading, watching videos and I'm slowly getting back into writing as well. I'm a nerd and I know it.

I hope that's not too much? Thank you in advance and have a great day!

I match you with...

Jumin!

It's not for the reason you think it is. It has a lot more to do with your love language than anything else because you're the kind of person who takes a lot of satisfaction in not only having your personal time, but sharing that with somebody who doesn't make you do something you're not comfortable with at the end of the day. Which, makes you a perfect counterpart to Jumin. What he wants in a partner is somebody who can listen to him talk for hours and hours. As long as you're happy talking with him about everything and nothing all at once, there's nothing more that he could ask for. You know your limits and he would respect them more than anything in the world. There's something beautiful about that kind of dynamic that can only be achieved by being respectful to each other's needs.

He is the kind of passionate patience you need in your life because not many people in this world are capable of not only being understanding but considerate at the same time. Because you can certainly understand something that's going on in somebody else's life but you may not always be able to do something for it or even think to do something for it. Jumin does. I'm sure you feel the same way when it comes down to making sure that people are taken care of. Communication will be the key to having a great relationship with him, not only for your needs but his as well. The two of you share something and that is the reality of being insecure of the things you don't know without admitting it. It's a good thing communication can be not only a love language but a teacher.

The two of you are in control. The only place that you might clash is in that area because sometimes you may need to trade off who is in control of a situation or who is regulating what's happening. That isn't much of a bad thing, though. It's good to be proactive and aware.

[mass-convergence]

Blerg, wrote this in an hour because the inspiration hit.

-

Perhaps I’m a little fucked in the head.

I mean … Most people in my position would be horrified, depressed, angry, and despondent about having their humanity ripped away from them like this. To be reduced from a beautiful young woman, the fairest in the land, to a grotesque beast with oozing scales, blackened claws, and rows of gnashing, half rotted teeth. Actually I would wager that a significant portion of the population would certainly not be happy to be where I am right now.

And perhaps I’m not happy per se but maybe content would be the more accurate term for my feelings on my … predicament.

You see, I never really considered my humanity to be a thing to lose. I was sought after for my beauty -- men desired me and women envied me (though some also desired me quite fiercely; I do actually miss that if I’m being honest). I was more of an object, a statue of marble or a particularly shiny gold coin for someone to own and gawk at. 

I hated the attention.

I wanted to live my life, to explore the world and to have adventures beyond the city walls. I was considered too delicate, frail, and too valuable by my parents to give up. I mean, we were just a lowly merchant family after all and the Prince was looking for someone to marry. 

Why would I leave when I had a great future in store for me in a marriage I was categorically not interested in. It wasn’t like a situation where instead of the Prince, I only had eyes for the woodcutter’s son. It wasn’t a situation where I wasn’t interested in marrying the guy who’s heir to the most powerful seat on the continent because I fancied the baker’s daughter instead (though, and I do have to stress this, she is very pretty. She was a sunset after a storm with her fiery orange hair and blue-gray eyes that glinted like lightning).

I wasn’t interested in anyone or any type of relationship really. Yet I was having this foisted upon me like an unwanted sack of shit.

And trust my infinite luck that the parents of some lord’s daughter were pissed that I was on the short list for the Prince’s hand. And trust my luck that they had the funds to pay off some powerful witch who lived in the darkened swamps nearby to place this curse on me. I really must find her and give her a gift basket once I figure out the whole monster thing.

The night I turned was the night I felt like I actually gained some modicum of agency in my life. I ran from the city, of course, I wasn’t about to go on some rampage through the streets. Also any sane person, when confronted by the King’s Champion in full plate and wielding a sword taller than herself, is going to run for the hills. 

So perhaps I’m not as fucked in the head as I thought I was.

The first few days were rough; I didn’t know how to function as a monster. Like … What do I eat? Where do I sleep? How do I go to the bathroom? Do I have to clean myself like a cat or splash around in the water? Because I really don’t think whatever gunk is oozing from my scales should be there, my teeth shouldn’t be this bad, and the mats in my fur were becoming rather painful. At least the increased sense of smell and hearing didn’t bother me too much -- for once in my life I was able to actually process those sensory inputs easily. Perks of being a killing machine I guess.

So I went to the swamps to find the witch who cursed me.

She proved a bit harder to find than I thought. In fact it was damn near impossible to find anything in the vast, muddy, and sulfur-scented environs. Instead I was found, not by the witch, but by a pack of monsters just like me. I’m still not sure if they were also the witch’s victims or are actual creatures.

We communicated in our own way and they took pity on me. They showed me how to be a monster (technically we’re called the Uncommon Swamp Dragon) and the oozing in my scales stopped, the matting on my fur was worked out, and I learned that we’re omnivorous and eat a varied diet of berries, fish, small animals, and roots. As I got healthier, my rotting teeth fell out and were replaced by rows of strong, off white teeth. The bathroom thing still kind of grosses me out though, not going to lie. I’m not used to just … going. It was the first time in my life I actually felt like I belonged, that I was more than a thing to gawk at, and that I actually had a family. Here in the dark depths of the Forsaken Fen, I found the closest thing to happiness I’ve had in my entire life.

I’m not completely without human contact though, my pack is being monitored by a researcher from some far off university. They practically live with us, taking notes on our habits and the like. I go on walks with them as they explore the swamps, protecting them from the gators and other nasties while they inform me of the goings on in the kingdoms. I have the sense that they’re about to leave, something big is happening they tell me. Some dark force is rising and they’re anxious to discover what it is and how to stop it.

Perhaps I’ll go with them as my sense of wanderlust hasn’t abated since I turned. In fact now that I’m fully capable of defending myself, my yearning to go on a grand adventure has become almost unbearable. I would love to leave this swamp and travel the world with my newfound friend and fight for good like the heroes of old. I’m still also very serious about finding that witch and giving her that gift basket because she gave me the freedom I always desired.

I am a monster.

I have rows of gleaming teeth and glossy black hair. My iridescent scales are strong enough to turn a blade and the sharpness of my claws rival the swords of the best bladesmiths in the world. I feast on small animals, fish, berries, and roots. I sleep in mud and muck. My voice sounds like the mix of nails on a chalkboard and a dying songbird.

I relish running through the swamps with the wind whipping at my hair. I enjoy climbing the ancient trees just because I can. I love the freedom of my new life.

I’ve never felt more human.

----------

Stay tuned for the thrilling adventures of Uncommon Swamp Dragon and their companion as they go save the world from evils or something idk.

You were cursed by an evil witch to become a horrible monster. You know that she meant to destroy your life, but you have never been happier.

[lazy-active-me]

I am not you my dear… You gave me many reasons to lose my trust in you. But I chose to stay, since you said I would be the one making you happy and we would be going through this. I forgave you each time and tried to rebuild it, since it is me who has to build up his trust again, though you did not make it easy you know… Even the last time, if you would have said hey it just happened… I am sorry, what can we do… I would have forgiven that another time. Because I love you. With all your flaws and promised to stay with you, throughout whatever we might have to face. For me we were set from the day I gave that promise. And you doing other things does not change that. But I am devastated of the way you treat me now. That is not sth I deserve. I went through a lot of pain before you and I did feel similar to now some of the time… This time though is different. This time it is a person that I let closer to myself than anybody else. Closer than any therapist I had. This time it is a person for whom I would have jumped into fire and did anything I could to make it right. I wish you would have just talked to me clearer and that you could have truly accepted my flaw of not being able to always follow plans and forget or not see things. I sadly am not neurotypical. And ADD is not the easiest thing to handle… it will always come back… And it is not easy to get back to a normal schedule. Especially since it leads to depression very easily… Now I face it again… But this time, for me… Everything I wished for I gone now. For since I met you… We were the wish I had. The dreams we did build together. And I kind of wish, that you would have just told me to kill myself, instead of ignoring me like this. No merry Christmas or happy new year… that really hurts you know… Every time I would say that something is putting me off, you would go on the defensive immediately, instead of saying I am sorry, this was not my intention. For me it was like this… I will try to act differently, can we do this like this. Like I did when we had the issue with the box or the plant. You were most times like I did not say that, I did not do that, it was not like this. If I would have acted like that, it is how I am and you have to accept that. Even though you would have been not ok if I did sth like that, you would be totally upset and not ok with that either. Since it is not about some monetary value, but our emotional bond and safety… you know you could have always just told me. And you know I am a freaky person open for all kinds of ideas… so I am utterly saddened by your lack of trust in my understanding for you. I hope, that your love for me was real and that maybe will at least be able to be friends again. For even if I felt more for you. I do not want to lose the connection to you.

I love you, you know. In a way I always will…