#as Im looking for opportunities to make some cuts in this draft!

[rosesutherlandwrites]

Some days, writing is rewriting or in this case, realizing you've developed a case of Dora the Explorer syndrome (aka repeat this info three times and then the kids will get it) and maybe you can shorten a couple of scenes by like, NOT doing that.

[taesancult]

7 minutes in heaven with bnd pls? <3

I FORGOT THIS IN MY DRAFTS 😭 ANONIE IM SO SORRY!! i was actually so excited to write it when i first saw it too 💔 i made it longer on purpose to make up for this being so late!!

smut under the cut. mdni.

sungho: this man is such a wild card to me in this context… however, i could see him being upfront and honest. he sees this as an opportunity to have you, so confidence is not an issue. he probably won’t fuck you right then and there, but use this moment to tease you, or to entice you. he’ll be so mean, teasing you, touching you so close to where you need him, whispering all these dirty things in your ear. he would ultimately start giggling if you beg for him because “now isn’t the time” and would say “i want to take my time with you.” overall, would spend his time driving you insane, kissing you so passionately, acting like he would worship you if he just had more time- (like sir can u just make a mess of me already THANK U!)

jaehyun: too scared to initiate in fear of seeming desperate, but is very much desperate. would practically burst into flames if you initiate. “hey can i suck you off?” “can you WHAT?” he’s looking around frantically, trying to decipher if he heard you correctly or not. “yeah why not!” “WHY NOT?” like you’re so nonchalant about it and he’s mentally freaking out. he cums embarrassingly fast, the whole situation is way too sexually charged that he can’t help himself. from the way your mouth feels on his cock, the way you keep looking up at him with those pretty eyes, the way you compliment him - telling him he sounds so pretty. he would moan out, not being able to control his volume, and it’s heavenly. he IS the guy every girl wants like is moaning without hesitation (although he will be embarrassed about it later, he couldn’t care less in this moment). he would literally be so pent up for no reason. it’s like everything is heightened and he’s spilling into your mouth faster than he wanted to, but you don’t mind. this is just the beginning <3

riwoo: baby boy here is shy at times, but can also be so cocky depending on the scenario. the current situation has him being more confident and relaxed as the way you’re staring at him gives you away; that you want him as much as he wants you. he wouldn’t fuck you in the closet, but he’d be more than willing to have some fun. this is the perfect moment to dry hump, your legs on either side of his hips, grinding down on his hard cock. his hands would be on your waist gripping so tightly as he pushes you onto his body as deeply as possible. the two of you would be so desperate for some fricition. by the end of the 7 minutes,, his hair is a disaster from you pulling at it as you use his body to try to get off and both of you have warm cheeks and are panting. truly a MESS in the best way possible.

taesan: not the biggest fan of quickies or feeling as though he has limited time. HOWEVER! he thinks the whole element of potentially getting caught in a scandalous situation to be super enticing. the thought of some poor soul who has to open the door and alert the two of you that your time is up witnessing you drunk for him is enough to motivate him to have you wrecked in less than the time you have. he would push you against the wall, kissing you before whispering in your ear, “this is about to be the best 7 minutes of your life.” your brain short circuits and he spends that time doing anything and everything to make you an absolute MESS.

leehan: out of pocket. he would randomly ask to finger you. he has his shy moments too (more so in the context of praise), but he can also be so confident. he’s the type to ask directly if he wants something, not really hesitating because why should he? you like him and he likes you, so he doesn’t feel the need to be embarrassed. he’ll literally trap you between his body and the wall, smirking at how you look at him with puppy dog eyes full of want. “so? what do you say? want me to make you cum?” he would ask as he stares into your eyes and all you can do is nod. he would get on his knees, not wasting any time. he would pump his fingers in and out, a wet sound filling the room because your cunt was absolutely drenched for him. “such a wet cunt, maybe next time i’ll get a taste,” he would say as he looks up with you a smile. he’s so filthy with his words it’s insane. he’d finger you so good that you physically wouldn’t be able to stand; your body sliding against the wall in defeat as you fully give into this man’s fingers.

[witch-hazels-musings]

hi! i saw that you wrote a novel (that might be getting published?) and i'm really curious to know what pushed you to start, how was the progress, and do you have an editor + are you self-publishing or are you with a publishing company! writing a novel is a dream of mine but it feel so far-fetched. it's inspiring to see that you've written one, and i would like to know how i might do the same too, if you don't mind sharing! -- @milkstore

hello fellow author <3 im so excited to hear about your dream! there are countless stories out there, but no one can write yours :)

as for what made me start - it was you all. the constant support, love and encouragement, and providing me inspiration and opportunities to practice with characters I love in a world that's fantastical.

my main character was inspired by a genshin OC that I had (Fai) and blossomed into who she is now!

my process was pretty simple really. I started with a general plot. identified what I wanted to happen in the story and the beats (points) i wanted to hit along the way, then I flushed out the two main characters and started writing their story.

after getting draft 0 i realized the plot (especially in the middle) wasn't working. in fact, it suuuucked. so I did some edits, a lot of cutting and rewriting and then I got a beta reader - they liked it, but I didn't - enter my work on draft 3. Now my story has substance, it has way more engagement and a lot better characters.

My next steps will be to read it out loud for another round of edits and - as I go - really ensure my character motivations are in there, the plot (where the whole story ends up) has build-up, and that I'm not going to set myself up for continuity errors. Once that is done I have two options

I can send it off to an editor I found and like, have them look it over and give me feedback - make changes - and then start querying for agents

I found a potential publisher that works with indie authors GreenLeaf Book Group. They might help me with editing, story, and other things if they like what i have - so i can skip some of the steps myself! - They seem very promising and actually may be a good place to start right out of the gate, but I've always been told to never give a publisher nothing (well, unless you're already working with them lol)

From here, the end goal is traditional publishing but i have a few barriers to that. 1. my book is too long, 2. it may not be as engaging as they may like, 2. it's a duology (publishers don't often pick up debut authors that pitch more than one book to them (i.e. they want a standalone before investing their time and money into the book)

Of course, I'll keep you all updated as I go -- you can also follow me on Instagram! I post updates there and information about my book :) --- you can find it via my Author Cardd

I won't gatekeep or tell you this process was easy. It wasn't - but it was rewarding, perfect, and brought me closer to my dream. To be able to look back and tell my younger self we wrote a book is everything to me - her stories deserve to live, as do yours <3

I'm rooting for you.

You got this

OH AND join writing groups! I am now the moderator of one - The Writers Factory. I give lots of advice there and feedback on peoples stories when I can. I also post some writing exercises and other stuff (its not a social discord though - the mods are very strict lol - its for working on your book/story/ect. -- so feel free to join us if this is something you want!)

[timosalonen]

i hope vale tells free use bez how good he's been for the boys 🫡 does vale join in the free use? how did the arrangement come about?

(tumblr fucking crashed while i was in the middle of answering this and didnt save it as a draft so give me a moment to Scream over the 3 paragraphs i now have to rewrite.)

glad you asked because ive thought about this extensively. NSFW under the cut:

vale doesn't actually Officially know about the arrangement. he's figured out whats going on himself, because the boys aren't exactly masters of subtlety and hes not an idiot. but they haven't told him so he doesn't say anything.

bez, however, wants vale to know so so so fucking bad, wants vale to fuck him so bad it makes him sick, but he wont bring it up. because hes not gonna walk up to Thee Valentino Rossi and say "hey everyone here fucks me at their leisure if you want some?" because jesus christ, What If He Says No? now he thinks bez is a slut (derogatory) instead of a slut (affectionate) and bez has to retire from racing and go live in a cave in the alps until he DIES.

but vale knows bez wants him. again, hes not an idiot, hes noticed the way bez looks at him when he thinks vale's not paying attention, and his bedroom at the ranch shares a wall with frankys- hes heard some stuff said way after dark that more than confirms his suspicions, lets just say.

vale, though, is a little shit. he wants bez to come and ask for it. say to his face what he wants. look him in the eyes while he asks. so he plays oblivious. puts on a worried look as he pulls bez's hair to the side and says ah, marco, what did you do to your neck? the morning after mig spent a few hours sucking hickeys all over his skin and fingering him into overstimulated delirium. tells the boys be good while im gone, make sure you behave as he leaves the ranch for a long weekend business trip, but keeps his gaze firmly locked onto bez as he tells them. lets his hand linger a few seconds too long on bez's lower back as he passes him in the kitchen.

and it drives bez fucking crazy. because theres no way vale is doing it on purpose, he doesnt know about it, and he knows no one would have told him without asking first, hes just reading into stuff too much, hes just so horny for vale that its making him hallucinate.

and maybe it all comes to a head one day when bez is at the ranch on his own. the rest of the boys are out until the evening and vale is in Rome on some business trip, so bez takes some time in the afternoon to prepare himself- cause vales gone, he knows theyre gonna pass him around like a ragdoll when they all get back from their various engagements, might as well get ahead of the game.

so he gets comfy in bed, starts preparing himself, really makes a meal of it cause what the hell, hes alone, might as well take the opportunity to get off while he can. lets his mind drift a little, thinks about vale doing it for him, slender fingers reaching places he just cant quite reach with his own, lets himself moan out vales name while he does it, makes a mess of himself and slumps into his pillows exhausted, limbs like jelly and fireworks behind his eyes.

maybe when he looks up vale is standing in his doorway watching him, shoulder against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest, that almost signature little smirk on his lips- his business thing ended early, he was gonna come home and surprise his boys with their fancy gifts and such. maybe bez is bold enough to finally ask in that moment.

[deafeninggardenerpanda]

if we’ve covered some red flags, what are some of your green flag ships? like of those “fuck yesssssss” ones that you really enjoy

AYO SELF CARE HOURSSSSSS. i do genuinely like talking about the controversial ships but thank you for the positive vibes anon! love that

under the cut, just because the post is a little long:

actually im not super into shipping i think? i definitely value being able to imagine a dynamic for even the nichest pairings and have a lot of fun stretching or emphasizing certain parts of each characters' personalities to get them to work the best while opening up the potential for some development on each characters' side (thats exactly why im doing the ship bingo! its a ton of fun!), but theres very few things i actually like. Ship beyond surface level thoughts tbh. and recently the things i actually do ship have gotten increasingly niche. so enjoy this ramble that mostly pertains to specifically me and only me LMAO /lh

metadede ofc is the big one. not niche obviously. extremely beloved by me hiiiiiiiiii. they just have so much to work with in canon it makes so many varied interpretations which are a blast to see honestly. in general i love seeing how people portray their friendship too. an idiot whos smart to smart guy whos an idiot communication. enemies to friends to lovers..... their personalities bounce off of each other really well and the content the community makes is always a+. actually im going to take the opportunity to share my favorite mtdd fic ever. this is like pretty much peak metadede to me if anyone wants to know what i hope my personal interpretation will live up to [link!]

people might be able to tell ive been getting very into dametaberge. oh my god im so insane. no one look at me. dmk+jambacult found family Real. i have like three comics in my drafts for them. its mostly dametaberge thoughts rn but i like to think susie joins them later to make a poly ship. dmk and susie are a little tense at first but susie is, "like so over her knight phase," as she says, which dmk is extremely conflicted about whether to be offended or relieved at. and then they learn how to relax around each other and are always the two in the relationship to have awful destructive ideas, which flamberge vetos or approves of on a case by case basis. they get very happy and excited when flamberge approves of their awful plans

and of course my beloved gsa ships.............. theres falsgato which i am incredibly insane about thanks to my friend dragging me into it and now its a thing in my animeverse. enemies to friends to lovers I KEEP SAYING IM SO WEAK FOR THAT. dragato was a huge asshole to falspar for Various reasons regarding the nature of the gsa and perhaps dragatos own personal insecurity, but once they lost the war they got to bond since dragato like, realized how little the shit he antagonized falspar for actually mattered in the first place. and falspars a guy who really sees the best in people and ahahahghdjk its a whole thing its a whole thing i wont go into it rn LOL

theres also metarthur which is my very very beloved longtime rarepair. which i um. uh. ahahahah............. i get very slightly nervous talking about on main because a lot of people hc arthur as meta knights dad or parental figure but i shouldnt be nervous about hc differences really....... anyways theyre supposed to be like parallels of each other. people who are opposites thematically (arthur being leader of the gsa; mk being a former deeply infamous demon beast) who find themselves in similar positions in that they both kinda struggle with their sense of purpose vs their sense of self. meta knight sees his past struggles in arthur and so he finds himself drawn to him. he cant really Solve his situation, but (during their war-time relationship specifically) he hopes to offer some solace to him which functions as a form of catharsis to mk himself too. the two get to connect and understand each other in a unique way. i wont get too into this one right now either lol since the dynamic changes a lot depending on if its their during-war relationship or post-war relationship but theres the basics. i have a comic expanding on their general relationship in my drafts too but its at the bottom of my to-do list tbh. maybe someday though

im only into this one casually nowadays but morphogala... you really cant go wrong with "knight of death saves the greatest warrior in the galaxy from their torturous fate". something something the themes of wishing for the release of death being subverted into yes, death itself releasing you but in a way that actually Saves and rescues you instead. the hope and love in spite of all of the hopelessness AHHHHGH the themes of this one make me so weak. theres so much potential...... i really love this one on an aesthetic level too

you know i take my comment on "not super into shipping" back i think my multishipper ass has disillusioned myself into thinking being insane about like 4-5 ships isnt enough or isnt the norm. maybe i am insane about shipping......... oops

ships that make my thumbs up list in that i like them in concept but dont ship myself would be: marxolor; any of wave 3 x each other tbh. i have them as just besties in my hcs but paired up in any way is very fun; i kinda like shadow metadede but im really particular about the dynamic of that one; fransoos gets a very big thumbs up from me for themes and concept+enemies/rivals to lovers; metagala is. i dont super get it myself but the aesthetics alone are absolutely on-point enough to put this one in the thumbs up category. yayyyyyyy. im sure theres more that im missing but i think that covers any that arent too niche

[ganyuslily]

as your high school sweetheart — genshin headcanons

characters: albedo, childe, diluc, kazuha, xiao

category/extra notes: modern!au, high school!au, fluff, at some parts its very cliche im sorry KDJDJS

a little summary: how would they be like in a modern relationship?

a/n: IM ACTUALLY VERY PROUD OF THIS,, i dont think it had been done before but :00 this was fun o make i have more modern!aus in my drafts ( @xiaophobic psst here are one of the modern!au hcs i have, and kazuhas kinda based off of what u sent in today )

albedo

it starts out as a lab project that you two were supposed to work on together, and even though you werent too keen on working with a guy that always seemed a little pretentious when he spoke, you decided to suck it up for the sake of a good grade. but as you work along side him, it turns out hes not so full of himself as you thought at first. you can see hes awkward and he doesnt know what to do and how to act, but under this seemingly emotionless persona, he cares. you can see it in the way he takes care of his younger sister klee, in the way he helps sucrose organize her notes, in the way he starts to check up on you even after the project is done. you notice the subtle stares and small details. the way he stays up to help you finish that late assignment, or how he helps you catch up in classes. hes always around when you need him and you dont even notice youre falling in love until uve already fallen deep. the confession is messy and clumsy, “i love u” spilled under the moonlight and gentle smiles passed in the corridors between classes. its so natural, loving him.

childe

hes that one guy everyone tells u to keep a distance from; but how can you, when his smiles are so bright and warm, when he loops his hand around your arm and intertwines your fingers when hes around you. how can you do that when hes the one that finds you crying after an exam goes wrong and tries his best to cheer you up or when the guy that made you uncomfortable yesterday now seems to be scared to even come near you. you dont know how or when you got close to him, when everything about him screamed “trouble” but to you he only meant love and adoration. he holds your hand and kisses you on the cheek before every lesson and sneaks cheesy letters into your locker. he treats you as if you were made out of glass, always gentle and patient. you dont know what you did to deserve him, but you stay with him, even when he comes to you with cuts and bruises and a black eye every other day. you only sigh and whisper “oh, ajax” and he kisses you, telling you that hes sorry.

diluc

its so gentle; no one really knows the two of you are dating. hell, even the both of you arent sure of that. but the way he treats you, walking you to your class and taking you home everyday, buying you food when you forget to take it from home in stress or buying you coffee or tea based on your mood, you think youre dating. but none of you ever made the final move to ask the other one out, so you hold yourself. you hold yourself from the urge to kiss him goodbye or hold his hands while walking around. you hold yourself from saying “i love you”, even though its at the end of your tongue. you dont have the courage to risk ruining what you already have. when he takes you stargazing, you know you should be looking at the night sky, at the twnikling lights, but how can you when the brightest one is right next to you. so when you accidentally say that hes so pretty, he looks at you with surprise and warm cheeks, as if he didnt believe what he heard. he looks at you with oh so much fondness and when you kiss you feel more happy than you ever were before.

kazuha

when you see him for the first time, you think your eyes are deceiving you; he looks like an angel with his white hair and the sunlight dancing on his skin. hes holding a brush in his hand, paint smeared on his face and hair slipping out of his ponytail. he doesnt even notice you at first, too immersed in his own work. he only looks at you when you stumble over your own feet, almost falling into him. when you catch your balance, he only smiles at you and you think your heart stops. he quietly asks if you need anything, and you say you have an art project to do. he offers to help and you shyly nod. you dont really talk a lot, especially in the beginning, but you slowly open up to each other. he speaks in short sentences, getting right to the point, but its not aggressive or rough, his voice sounding like a gentle melody. you usually sit in silence and work together in the art room after classes and thats how your relationship blooms. slipping into a relationship comes easily, it comes naturally, no one feels the need to even ask. its obvious, especially in the way you look at each other and how everyone else can always see you together. its easy. being with him is easy.

xiao

you bump into him by accident in the corridor and muster a quick “sorry”, before running to your next class. you dont even notice who he is, not realizing its the guy that attends the classes u do too. but for some reason you keep bumping into him, your books and papers flying everywhere and your face red from embarrassment. he doesnt seem to mind; he always helps you out without a word and then you part your ways. you dont talk until the moment when you meet again, and surprisingly this time hes the one bumping into you. before he manages to slip away, you quickly ask if he wants to go to the coffee shop later, my treat for you helping me out all this time, you add. and how can he say no when hes been looking for the opportunity to do the same, but he always backed out in fear of rejection. your relationship smells of coffee, his black and yours with way too much sugar and milk in, of qingqins and books from your study dates. he cares for you and you care for him. your first kiss happens also accidentally, neither of you getting rid of the habit of stil bumping into each other in the hallways. so when your lips crash and you back out, whispering a string of sorries in panic, he only cups your face and shyly asks if he can kiss you again.

[hareharrison]

hold me

pairing: george harrison x reader

summary: george is in the process of finishing abbey road, and has been repeatedly coming home frustrated. instead of talking to you about it, he distances himself completely, and only speaks to you in annoyance or anger, and lashes out on you. he doesn’t know how much it affects you and one day comes home to the effects firsthand.

warnings: hurt/comfort, angst, angy geo, neurodivergent reader, invasive thoughts, mental breakdown/panic attack, but it works out in the end

a/n: hayyyy ok so i wrote this as a comfort fic for myself, and i decided to post it cause why not. i struggle with intense fear of abandonment cause of bpd haha fun 😐and wanted to make it from the POV of a neurodivergent reader?? so this is like a comfort fic for ND readers?? idk if i need to put any other potential trigger warnings for this but if i do please lmk and i will fix it

year: 1969

the flat was quiet without him. to be honest, it was quiet with or without him, lately. as much as you didn’t want to admit it, george had been distant. he was always a quiet person, but he has never dismissed you this much. you knew that his job could be tiring and you tried not to overthink it, but you couldn’t help but feel bad. a voice in your head was planting horrible ideas, saying things like, “you fucked up, he doesn’t like you anymore, you’re annoying.” but still, you pushed on and tried your best to ignore the noise in your brain.

you sigh heavily and slide back into the couch. you had the next two days off of work, and nothing to do. george of course had to work on your days off, which left you alone at home. with your thoughts. it was hard getting through today, your intrusive thoughts were particularly loud... but he would be home any minute now, which brought on a bit of hope; seeing him should rid you of your own jailhoused mind.

the tv played some sitcom in front of you, which you had no interest in. all you could think about was if you ruined things. what if he was thinking of leaving you? it would be your fault... and yet you couldn’t think of a single thing you’ve ever done that might have hurt him.

the door opened gently and let in a cool draft that brushed against your warm skin. you look toward the entrance, seeing your george sigh heavily with exhaustion as he took his shoes and coat off. he looked up to you, his boldly furrowed brows softening.

“hi, love,” he says, walking toward you. you stand and approach him to greet him with a quick kiss. he holds you for a little longer than usual, and you take the opportunity to melt into his arms and breathe in his smell, something you’d been deprived of recently. he rests his chin on top of your head, which laid comfortably on his rising chest. it was moments like this that made all your worries slip away, moments like this that you wished you could cling onto forever and ever.

“how was your day?” you ask, finally leaning back to look up at him. he lets go of you and runs a hand through his long hair.

“not good,” he says, a frown on his perfectly sculpted face. you return his expression at the sight of him being sad. quickly, you remember your dinner ideas. maybe that would cheer him up.

“hey, maybe we can go get something to eat? maybe get your mind off of things?” you suggest, looking up at his brown eyes. he looks down at you, eyes full of regret.

“i’m sorry love, but i’d rather just head to bed already,” he says remorsefully. you smile softly and reassure him that it’s okay and he should get some rest. but part of you breaks inside, knowing he doesn’t want to spend time with you.

he headed upstairs and you followed, the painful ideas returning at full speed.

“you’re so annoying, of course he doesn’t want to spend any time with you. you’re so annoying and clingy,” your brain says and you flinch at the harsh thoughts. through your entire bedtime routine, thoughts flooded your mind and filled your entire being up, and you felt like you were being drowned from the inside out. george stood next to you as you both brushed your teeth, not speaking a single word to you or giving you a single glance. you changed into one of george’s t-shirts and watched as he slid out of his clothes and into his pajamas in seconds. he muttered a monotone, “good night,” before turning on his side, his back facting you.

as much as you didn’t want to, you believed the mean voices and hung your head as you got into bed next to george.

you slept back to back that night.

————————————————————

the sun seeped into your room through your windows, and invaded your bed, waking you rather unpleasantly. you groan lightly as you reached over your bed for george, but only found empty space. his side of the bed was cold, indicating that he’d been up for a while now.

you sit up slowly, rubbing your eyes as the aromas of freshly brewed coffee and morning dew hit your senses. you hear the song of the early birds chirping as your feet hit the cool floor. as you head downstairs, you can hear george on the phone, and you soon see him muttering softly before taking a long drag from his cigarette. you don’t bother him, seeing that there was paperwork on the table and his call must be business related. naturally, you decide to head for the coffee, the smell luring you in like a fish.

you poured the hot, dark liquid into your favorite mug and add in your preferred amounts of cream and sugar. looking out the window, you see water drip gently from the leaves of a tree that george and you had planted a year ago. you sip your coffee and reminisce about the times you used to actually spend time with george. how nice it was, seeing him smile so often.

you suddenly hear george raise his voice at the phone, something unlike him entirely. you jump at the unpleasant sound before peeking through the hallway to see what on earth was happening.

“no, i don’t care! i want the bloody bastard fired, in fact, tell him not to bother showing up today,” he shouts into the phone before slamming it down, placing his head between his knees and groaning in frustration. seeing george this upset and acting out on it was truly a rare sighting, and you thought carefully about what to next.

after careful consideration, you tiptoe into the room and gently rest a hand on his shoulder, the sudden contact making him flinch.

“christ, (y/n) are you trying to give me a bloody heart attack?” he grumbles before lighting another cigarette.

“sorry,” you say softly, “would you like some tea?” you figure it could calm his anger and soothe some of his abnormal irritability.

“what? tea? there’s already coffee made,” he says rudely. you take a step back, saying nothing. you know that you didn’t do anything and that this behavior would pass. george was never like this. your eyes find the time and see that george should have left ten minutes ago.

“george, you’re gonna be late to work,” you say, thinking you could at least do something helpful. his head snaps back at you and his once soft face turned hard with anger.

“what are you implying? you want me gone?” he stands up and angrily grabs all of the papers scattered on the table, shoving them into a folder and the folder into his bag, “fine, i’ll leave. im out the door.”

you look at him in confusion, you’d barely woken up and were just trying to help, “what’s the matter with you?”

“what’s the matter with me,” he repeats, looking away and scoffing. he runs his hand through his hair in frustration, “im sick of this, (y/n)! im sick of life. i come home exhausted and you have half a mind to ask me if i want to talk about it!”

“you always want to go straight to bed,” you defend yourself, hurt that he would even suggest that you don’t care about him. his dark eyes glare into your own for a moment that feels like hours, trying to think of somethig clever to say in response, but he just wasn’t ever much of a fighter. he finally chooses to put his cigarette out on the table’s ashtray and grab his coat. if you wanted him out of the house, he was more than happy to comply.

“george-“ you start.

“no,” he cuts you off, “don’t say anything right now, i can’t even look at you.” and he doesn’t, he ignores your presence entirely as he picks up his bag and walks out the door.

you’re left in the cold house, alone, hurt, and dumbfounded. you couldn’t believe what had just happened. you couldn’t believe that george, your george, had taken his anger out on you, simply for trying to help his morning be less shitty. worse than that, he thought you wanted him gone, when all you wanted was to be with him. is this how it was going to be now? a bitter, loveless relationship? your eyes sting with fresh tears at the thought, and a huge lump in your throat grows painfully. you take a deep breath before heading upstairs. you wanted anything but to cry this early in the morning, and the only reason you got up somewhat early was to see george before he left to work. now that your morning was ruined, you figured heading back to bed was the next best thing.

you climb back into your shared bed, suppressing your emotions with the warmth of your fluffy blankets and soft pillows. the comfort of a bed felt almost like a hug, and you sighed, letting the pain drift away as you fell asleep.

————————————————————

when you opened your eyes, the realization hit you. you’d slept until the sun began to set, completely ignoring your emotions, stuffing them down inside of you like an overflowing trash can. being awake made them fling right back at you; sleeping didn’t change a thing, and was only a temporary pause in your pain.

all of your feelings came back to you at once, and it once again felt like you were drowning internally. only this time, the thoughts weren’t the invasive factor. your emotions were overwhelmingly intense on top of your brain practically screaming horrible things to you. your breathing quickens as you feel tears slide down your face. this time you werent able to swallow the thick lump in your throat, and you began to weep softly.

this was it, george was leaving you. he hates you, he wants nothing to do with you. there was nothing you could do but hug your knees and cry. you choked on a sob and started rocking back and forth in attempts to try to soothe yourself. but you couldn’t stop, it felt like your entire world was falling apart. you soon began to have shortness of breath and struggled with your breathing, feeling your heart beat at an intense rate that you couldn’t control.

your bedroom door opens, revealing george’s early arrival. he immediately rushes to your side, afraid to touch you but wanting so bad to comfort you.

“(y/n)? (y/n), breathe. breathe, baby,” he takes your hand and you look at him. you aren’t sure if him being here is making the situation better or worse. seeing him try to help you stirred all kinds of feelings in your mind. you felt like you weren’t good enough for him, like you didn’t deserve his help.

george begins breathing in through his nose and out of his mouth, gently guiding you and hoping you will try to do the same. he sits in front of you on the bed and holds your face in his gentle hands. you look up into his eyes, the chocolate features of his face soothing you as your breath began to steady.

“that’s it,” he encourages.

“do you hate me?” you cry softly.

“what? no, (y/n), i’d give my life for yours, do you know that? you’re so, very special to me,” he slides over to sit beside you on the bed and wraps his long arms around you.

“why are you so distant?” you look up at him, and tears continue to roll down your flushed cheeks, “you acted so mean to me this morning, i feel like you want nothing to do with me.”

george is hurt by your words. he truly didn’t mean to be distant, and he never wanted to hurt you.

“i’m sorry,” he says, “ive been so overwhelmed i haven’t stopped to think of how you must feel. im really sorry my love i never meant to hurt you like this.” he embraces you tightly and you give into his comforting touch, wrapping your arms around his torso and digging your face into his chest. 

you take a deep breath, “i understand,” you say before looking up to him to whisper, “i miss you. i miss us.”

“i miss you too darling,” he pauses for a moment, “how about i take tomorrow off? we can do whatever you’d like.”

you sniffle, “what about the album? the deadline?” 

“i can fake sick. nothing is more important to me than you,” he says, “i want nothing more than to be with you. i love you so much.”

you smile when he presses a soft kiss to your aching head, “now how about we go have something to eat? i’m starved.”

[lxngbottom]

Mistakes That Last Forever. | N.L. (Part 2)

in which neville tries to get his life back.

warnings: mentions of cheating, swearing (lmk if there are more!)

im crying over this fic PLS

(PART 1)

—

the shower felt wonderful as it collided with your skin. the stress that had been building up from the past week due to seeing neville, and work, was seemingly all being washed away. you could hear neville jr in the living room, muttering small scenarios as he used his imagination to play with his toys.

but, the small peace that your house held was soon disturbed by your house phone ringing. you sighed, hoping that it wasn’t your boss demanding at you turn in that article draft you had promised him.

“mummy! the phone is ringing!” your son called out, and you could hear that he had ran to the bathroom door in order to inform you.

“um—i know!” you replied, “can you be a big boy and answer it for me? just like we talked about?! ask to take a message, okay?”

“okay!”

you heard his hurried footsteps exit the hallway, and you continued your now, limited shower as quickly as you could.

neville jr reached up and picked up the phone, putting it to his ear in excitement. this was the first time you let him use the adult phone, and he couldn’t be more thrilled,

“uh... hello? longbottom—well... y/l/n residence!”

he made an odd face as he realized he has already messed up what you told him to say if someone had ever called.

the person on the other line smiled to himself, hearing that small, fragile voice. he sounded just like he used to when he was younger.

“hi... is your mum there?” neville asked awkwardly, shifting awkwardly in his seat as the realization that he was talking to his son was hitting him.

neville jr crooked his lips as he looked down the hall, “um... she’s in the shower...” he began to try and remember what you had told him to say, “uh—um... merlin... oh!” he finally remembered. “can i take a message for you?”

the boy had such a sweet voice. he was filled with such innocence. the shame of missing out on his son growing up had already hit neville, and he had been in a big slum for the last week due to that.

“yes... can you tell her that neville called? it’s important that she knows...”

neville jr then furrowed his eyebrows, “hey! that’s my name!” he snapped, “i didn’t call my own house!”

neville on the other line chuckled at the boy’s obliviousness, “no! that’s my name, too, lad. i’m—uh... your—“

just as he was about to tell his son the truth, you came stomping out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around your body, and your hair as well. you ran over to your son, who was still holding the phone.

“who is it?” you asked, already grabbing the phone from his grasp,

“uh... neville? he has the same name as i do, mum!”

your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach, and you tried to play it off by sending your son a small smile.

“that’s... nice, sweetheart. but... go play for a few minutes, okay?”

the boy nodded his head, and went right back to the center of the living room, and continued to play with his cars. you glanced over at him, putting the phone up to your ear, hands shaky from anxiety.

“hello?” you started, looking down awkwardly at the numbers on the phone.

“oh... hey, y/n.”

yep. it was neville.

“how did you get my number, longbottom?” you asked in a low whisper, glancing over at your son once more,

neville let out an awkward chuckle, “well... it’s not that hard to get into contact with the journalist of the daily prophet, y/n.” he teased slightly, maybe trying to lighten the mood, “i just need to talk to you.”

you sighed, gritting your teeth slightly, “about what, neville?”

“about... seeing him. seeing both of you. ever since i saw you both last week... i haven’t been sleeping, or eating... i want to make things right. i deserve that, y/n. i need to see my son...”

you knew it was coming, but, you had hoped it would at least be a few more years.

“neville—“

“y/n, i can’t keep doing this. i can’t keep walking throughout my life miserable. i know i’ve done awful things to you, and i know there is nothing in this world that i could possibly ever do to make it up to you. but, please... that’s my son. maybe this is my opportunity to do the right thing. an opportunity to get my life back...”

you huffed at his words, “you didn’t even know he existed until a week ago!”

“yeah, because you never told me! you know for a fact that if you would’ve told me the truth, that i would’ve been there for everything! there’s a lot i have to owe up to, but don’t forget that you lied to me! you kept me away from my son for his whole life because you were hurt over a mistake!”

“a mistake that you made, asshole!” you clapped back through teary eyes, “i figured... hey! maybe if neville wants to go back to being an immature teenager and cheat on me, then how in world would he ever be a good father?! i wasn’t even sure that you would even be committed to him, neville! because, you sure weren’t committed to me!”

the tension that radiated through the static on the phone was terrifying. the only thing that could be heard was your small sniffles, and neville’s agitated sighs on the other end. you were so hurt. you had always been so hurt due to what had happened.

“y/n...” neville sighed, “please. just let me make this right. let me make it up to you... and to him. please... i’ll do anything.”

you thought for a moment, considering all of the positives and the negatives of this whole situation. you knew he was right, he did deserve to see his son. but, you didn’t know if that would be the right thing for your son himself.

“fine...” you breathed, “you can come and see him. i’ll send you an owl, soon...”

neville had never felt more relieved.

“thank you. thank you, y/n. i promise i’ll—“

but, you cut him off by slamming the phone back onto the hook. your face fell into the palm of your hand as you let out a small sob, overwhelmed by the sudden old feelings that were rushing back into your veins.

“mummy...”

you didn’t look at him. you couldn’t look at him.

“you’re crying, mum. what’s wrong?” he asked, slowly walking over to you, “was it that man on the phone?”

you finally looked down at him, seeing the worried look etched across his round, chubby face. you crouched down to meet his height, reaching your hand up to caress his face gently. you had always done that, because it was something that you always did to neville when he was worried or sad.

“mummy’s alright, baby... she’s just stressed out. but... i need to talk to you about something, alright?”

that’s when his face became even more worried, “as i in trouble?”

you chuckled through your tears at your son’s overthinking, “no, no, of course not. it’s just... there’s something i haven’t told you...”

“what is it, mum?”

you sighed, finally ready to have the talk.

—

that morning had started off chaotic. it was a mix of you trying to get ready, neville rummaging through his closet in order to find the perfect outfit, as he was a big boy now, and he wanted to get ready all by himself.

“neville longbottom! have you brushed your teeth?!” you yelled from the living room, trying to pick up the small mess of toys that was spread throughout the floor.

neville in his room widened his eyes, realizing that he indeed had not brushed his teeth.

“i’m going to take that as a no!” you yelled, referring to the silence, “go and do it, please! he’ll be here at any minute!”

neville jr was probably just as nervous as you were, as he had subconsciously had always questioned where his father had been, but never asked. but ever since that long conversation the two of you had, he was finally ready to meet him. you on the other hand, felt as if you could throw up at any given moment.

you were only in your bra and underwear as you cleaned, trying your best not to mess up your applied makeup. you ran to your room after you were done, and started going through your closet. you and neville jr would always wake up late, as for some reason, you two loved getting your beauty sleep. the both of you were used to rushing through your shared home, getting ready while doing ten other things at the same time. time management was definitely something you needed to teach him, and maybe even teach yourself.

“mum! i can’t find my socks!” you heard your son call out, his voice shaky.

“um—check in your top drawer, sweetie! there should be a clean pair in there!” you yelled back, slipping on a sun dress and zipping it up in the back. you looked in the mirror, and noticed that you hadn’t even done your hair. it was still wet from the shower you had taken,

“fuck!” you groaned, running to your personal bathroom and grabbing your hairbrush.

“mum! that’s a bad word!”

“i’m sorry! i’m just really stressed out! are you almost ready?”

there was silence for a moment before he responded, “um... yeah?”

he wasn’t ready, of course.

you felt as if you could crack at any moment, but you were trying your best to hold back the tears. maybe this would’ve been a lot easier if you two had actually woken up when you were supposed to.

that’s when the doorbell rang, and your heart seemed to stop beating for a moment. you sighed, mentally preparing yourself as you grabbed your flats from your closet, and walked through the house to the front door.

when you arrived, you shakily unlocked it and opened the door.

that’s when you saw him. he held a small bouquet of flowers in one hand, and a small gift box in the other. he smiled at you, taking in how absolutely ravishing you looked.

“um—come in...” you told him, opening the door. he stepped in, and began to follow you through the house, leading to your living room. “just—ignore the mess, please! we woke up late, and i didn’t have time to clean the kitchen and—“

“hey, hey, hey...” he interrupted you, setting the items down on the couch. “it’s fine, y/n. i understand... no need to explain.”

you looked over at him, and for a moment, you began to get lost in his gentle eyes. neville had always been so patient with you. he never judged you, nor ever would judge you. he knew you from the inside out, and he could tell how stressed out you were in that moment.

“mummy!” you heard, and the two of you whipped your head around to see a struggling smaller neville, trying to get his sweater on over his jumper. you giggled as his head was getting stuck in the hole, “it won’t go on!” he huffed aggressively, his arms flailing around.

you walked over to him, and pulled the sweater vest down over his head easily. he looked at you for a moment, an appreciative smile on his face. but then, he caught a glance at the smiling man that stood just ways away from you. he hid behind your leg, still nervous out his mind.

“neville...” you muttered, trying to get him to not be so shy, “come on...”

he shook his head, now burying his face in the material of your dress.

you looked over at neville, who had a sad look on his face.

“he’s shy... but... he’ll come around.” you reassured the man.

of course he was shy. he was neville longbottom’s son for merlin’s sake.

neville wearily made his way over to the both of you, the gift box now in his hand. he crouched down by your knee, letting your cherry blossom lotion take over his senses.

“this—it’s for you...” he offered, holding the gift box up to the small boy. neville jr peeked his head around your leg, eyeing the color wrapped box. “go on... it’s yours...”

neville jr finally gave in, his childish mind not being to help itself as he reached out, and grabbed the box from his father’s hand. he slowly showed himself, ripping the wrapping up.

he squealed when he finally got it open.

“mum, look!” he held the toy up in his hand, “look how cool!”

you smiled down at your lovely son, “i see it, honey. what do you say?”

neville jr looked up at his dad, batting his eyelashes a few times.

“thank you...”

neville sent him a sweet smile,

“no problem...”

—

the day had been simple. you, neville, and neville jr did nothing but relax, play with toys, talk about your old days at hogwarts, ordered pizza for lunch, and you even made a nice dinner by the time the night had came along. it brought you a feeling of serenity, as this had always been your dream for you and neville.

“can i have a goodnight kiss?” you asked neville jr as you tucked him in. he nodded his head, and pecked your cheek, then settled back into his blanket.

“goodnight, mum...” he told you sweetly,

neville watched as you tucked your son in, glancing around the boy’s room every now and then. he had noticed how much of an amazing mother you were the whole day, but, he would’ve never expected less.

neville jr looked over at the tall man, hiding his face shyly.

“goodnight, daddy...”

the nickname made you look over at neville, who seemed to be in some sort of state of shock. but, he sent the boy a small smile.

“goodnight, nev. get some rest...”

you stood up from your son’s bed, and slowly made your way towards the door.

“will you still be here tomorrow when i wake up?”

the question made you and neville’s head turn, and you were still trying your best to hold it together.

neville wiped his nose awkwardly, “not sure about that one, lad. but, i’ll definitely see you in a couple of days. maybe... you can come to my house and meet my pets, huh? that sound good?”

the question seemed to be aimed towards your son, but just by looking at neville, he seemed to be asking the both of you.

“yeah... that sounds good...” neville jr replied, offering the both of you a weak yawn. he rubbed his eyes, and cuddled into his stuffed toad.

you smiled as you turned the light off, and neville stepped out of the room.

“goodnight, darling. i’ll see you in the morning.”

and with that, you closed his door softly, and began to walk back to the living room.

neville watched as you started to clean up, even at one point offering to help you.

“it’s fine...” you told him as he went to pick up a toy, “i don’t need your help...”

you hadn’t noticed it, but neville definitely had. you were now crying, tears streaming down your face as you continued to pick toys up, and set them into the box that sat beside you. the emotions from today were now taking an affect on you, and as much as you tried to ignore them, your body needed some sort of release.

“y/n...” neville muttered, and you looked over at him, breaking his heart when he saw your eyeliner smudging, “what’s wrong?”

you sighed as you picked the box up, and put it back in its place over the by the couch.

“nothing... just exhausted. i have to get something into my boss for work, and i just—“

“don’t lie to me.”

you furrowed your eyebrows at him, “i’m not—“

“yes, you are. i can tell.” he interjected, walking closer to you. “you can tell me... please tell me.”

you pondered for a moment, wondering if you should actually let the words slip your lips.

“it’s just—“ you began, trying to collect your thoughts. neville gazed at you intently, “it’s just hard seeing you. and... seeing you with him is even worse.”

“why?”

you bit down on your bottom lip, something you had always done when you were trying to hold back tears, “because... i suppose i just thought that—maybe... that would’ve been us. all these years... you would’ve done all the stuff you did with him today everyday. i had always dreamt of us having a family together... but... i just wasn’t good enough for you.”

neville’s breath hitched at your words. he felt his stomach churn with guilt, and sadness as well.

“y/n... you were more than good enough for me. i was just—a fucking git. i was so... stupid for what i did. and, i probably won’t ever be able to make it up to you...”

you chuckled nervously, “well... at least there’s a chance to make it up to him.”

he stepped even closer to you, only a small gap between your nervous bodies. he slowly reached his hand up, and wiped away the single tear that was treading down your cheek. he ran that same hand through your hair, that familiar feeling settling in, ever so present between you both.

“yeah... but something tells me that you want me to make it up to you, as well, y/n...”

his touch was so gracious. it felt so familiar, and you couldn’t help but to fall into it. his thumb caressed your skin, feeling all of the familiar bumps and roughness. he felt as if he collapse, as he was only just now realizing that he was finally touching you again.

“it doesn’t matter what i want, neville. that hasn’t mattered since i had our son. all that matters is him now.”

neville took a beat of silence before responding, his eyes trailing to your lips.

“it does matter.”

that’s when he planted his soft lips upon yours, relishing in the serenity of you.

it was a kiss that was long overdue. a kiss that said so much but nothing all at the same time. oh, how he missed you. and oh... how you missed him so much more.

when you two finally pulled away, his palm still rested against your cheek, and he admired you.

“i’m sorry for everything. but what i said was true... i want my life back. and y/n... you and neville are my life.”

[autisticlalna]

double up! (aka “the most confusing day of lalna’s life”)

i found a fic in my google docs that i never posted anywhere, and then posted it to ao3, and then found that i also formatted it for tumblr and had it sitting in my drafts for, like, three years. so uhhhhh

[ ao3 link! ]

original post and fic below cut:

OH HEY I REMEMBERED THAT I WROTE SOMETHING THAT ISN’T SHADOW AU A BIT AGO

this is a follow up to The Hec And Jo Show! Kakujo goes on an adventure and runs into Lalna. shenanigans ensue.

this interpretation of fluxbuds lal is from my rp blog @/atomiclalna, because im invincible

-

    Leaves crunched underfoot as Kakujo stumbled through the forest. It was a pretty nice day out; the sun was a welcome sight after the rough thunderstorm from the day before, and it meant he finally had an opportunity to go scouting beyond what he’d already mapped out. Starting from scratch whenever he moved around was never gonna get any easier, but he’d been having good luck getting to know his neighbours so eh, that helped at least. Hadn’t found a village yet, but he was sure he wasn’t far from stumbling across one with his luck.

    Shame he had to leave CORE behind. The talking chest was pretty unhappy with him for his recent stunts, especially the ones he’d missed out on entirely. Usually if Kakujo was out scouting CORE wouldn’t be too far behind him, but with how often he was getting himself blown up lately he’d decided the extra space to carry junk just wasn’t worth the amount of dark magic he was having to do. Which sucked, but y’know. Sacrifices have to be made, especially if they involved not having to make actual sacrifices.

    The forest biome ended without much fanfare and Kakujo strode out onto the neighbouring plains to scan the horizon for any buildings or interesting structures. There were some mountains in the distance, but not anything that looked inhabited between here and there. “Well that sucks,” Kakujo muttered. He’d been on this trek for a while now, and the novelty was wearing off. He had half a mind to turn back if he didn’t find anything fun to do in the next five minutes, and that was looking more and more unlikely--

    “Waaait. What’s that?” No, he was wrong, there was something there. It was just out of sight, but that was definitely a building. Some sort of house, maybe, or several houses. A village! Score! Hopefully the villagers wouldn’t mind him raiding their stuff. It wasn’t his fault they left perfectly good weapon bits laying around waiting to be pocketed by a kleptomaniac hero. Kakujo giggled with excitement and broke out into a run.

    As he drew closer, though, it became clear that he hadn’t found a village after all. Instead it seemed to be… somebody’s base? The build style was totally different from the villages he encountered before, and there was none of the distinctive chatter of villagers even when he got into earshot. Hm. This complicated things. Kakujo wasn’t sure if he could get away with raiding somebody’s base, and it felt like bad manners anyway.

    He was part of the way through marking it down on his map when a door on the side of one of the buildings opened and someone walked out. Kakujo’s eyes widened and he darted out of sight behind a wall, then peered around the corner to watch the stranger as they yawned and moved their goggles from their spot over their eyes to instead rest on their forehead amidst an unruly mess of blonde hair. Blonde, tall, goggles, wearing a stained lab coat… Kakujo beamed from ear to ear. Well, whaddya know! Turns out his good buddy got out more than he thought. Maybe this was a secondary base of some sort? Considering his main base was in a Taint biome, he couldn’t really blame him for that.

    “Hey! Hector!”

    The scientist froze. Oblivious to the reaction-- or maybe just assuming that he’d caught Hector off guard-- Kakujo bounced out from his hiding place and waved. “It’s been a while! How’ve you been? Anything fun happen lately? Like, fun fun, or danger fun, ‘cause I--”

    He screeched to a halt. This… wasn’t Hector.

    To be specific, he looked like somebody had taken Hector and created a weird alternate universe version of him. His hair was shorter, although far fluffier, and was a lighter shade of blonde; his lab coat, while dirty, was in much better condition and lacking the faded red stains, and his sleeves were rolled up to expose several scars on one arm and smooth green-tinted metal on the other-- some sort of robotic replacement, from the looks of it. The rest of his outfit was like someone had done a palette swap: neon green goggle lenses instead of Hector’s distinctive red, purple laces on one boot and a similar bright green on the other, and a purple tee underneath his coat to match the other set of laces.

    Then there was the scars: a large splotch of discoloured scarred skin across the middle of his face, like something had been burned away. The outfit and haircut Kakujo could justify, the robot arm was a bit trickier to reason with, but Hector’s facial scars had never been that severe. So either something had happened since he’d last seen his friend, or… Or Hector had a twin he’d never told him about.

    “...Who are you?” Not-Hector said in a worried voice. That was another strike against him: Hector’s voice was much deeper and had an intimidation factor going for it, while this guy sounded far less… intense.

    “I’m… Kakujo..?” His laugh was maybe a bit nervous. Not-Hector took a step back, then another, eyes wide. “Sorry, I think I mistook you for somebody else-- it happens a lot, y’know, like you see the back of somebody’s head and you go ‘Hey, it’s Fred!’ except it’s not Fred at all and then you feel really weird and bad and awkward because you’re not sure if you should just pretend that didn’t happen or say sorry or-- Thaaaat’s a gun!”

-

    The sunlight was bright as Lalna shouldered open the door and stepped outside. He cringed a little, too used to the darker atmosphere of his makeshift lab, then let out an embarrassingly loud yawn before pushing his goggles up onto his forehead. Nano had been more forceful about making sure he got out for a certain amount of time each day, on top of xer usual reminders on getting him to eat and sleep at a regular time. That last one didn’t always work to plan, but at least he was getting better at those first two.

    He should probably work on lighting up the interior more, though, if just walking outside was enough to blind him momentarily. It was in need of more decoration anyhow, he couldn’t just slap torches everywhere and pretend it looked good…

    “Hey! Hector!”

    It was like everything around him slammed to a stop. Lalna stiffened as an unfamiliar voice broke the silence; several possibilities raced through his mind, ranging from “awkward” to “bad”. Awkward: He was in earshot of somebody who happened to have a friend that shared a name with his murderous doppelganger. Bad: He was in earshot of somebody who was actually friends with Lalnable Hector. Worst: Hector was here and somebody had just broken his cover and he was about to get kidnapped, again.

    He took a breath, turned to see what the commotion was, and… someone was running straight at him. They were shorter than him (like most people he encountered were, save for Xephos but even then they were just about even), with messy jet-black hair, casual layered clothes, and a friendly-looking face that was currently sporting an ecstatic grin. They waved at him as they drew closer; Lalna stared at them, having gone full deer in headlights, but they didn’t seem to notice.

    Holy shit, he’d just been mistaken for Lalnable Hector.

    They skidded to a stop, cutting off whatever they’d been saying as they approached-- to tell the truth, Lalna hadn’t heard any of it with how close he felt to total shutdown. They looked him over, their grin fading. Lalna could tell he was being scrutinized; clearly they were starting to see that they’d made a mistake, that there were too many differences between the two for them to be completely interchangeable.

    “...Who are you?” Hector had friends? Besides the Specimens, anyway. And that tall guy, although it was like a weird frenemy thing? Which he guess he also kind of had with him, now that he thought about it, but with maybe a bit more enemy. It kind of made his head hurt; he was an inferior knockoff, someone he expected Hector to hate more than anyone else, but instead despite his own fear and paranoia about the Baddies they kind of just… didn’t bother them anymore. Pretty weird seeing as their last major interaction had been the Time Gate… But then again, Lalna and Nano had just been obstacles to… whatever Hector’s actual goal was.

“I’m… Kakujo..?” Lalna started to back up as the stranger-- Kakujo-- laughed nervously. “Sorry, I think I mistook you for somebody else--” And then everything faded into white noise again as the world around Lalna wavered. He could see Kakujo’s lips moving, going off into a tangent of some sort, but none of the words reached him. The Baddies were back, somehow. Not just back, but nearby. He’d honestly figured them to be somewhere else in time-space, as a logical conclusion to “the Baddies aren’t killing our pets and holding various combinations of us hostage anymore”. But… apparently they weren’t? Since when? 

He didn’t realize he’d pulled out a weapon until he heard Kakujo react. “It’s not a gun, it’s a rocket launcher,” he said immediately. He held the SPAMR Launcher close to him in a strange attempt to reassure himself; Kakujo, meanwhile, looked like he was about to shit himself and was starting to back away. “I’m not going to shoot you, I just need to know--” He adjusted his grip to move his hand further away from the trigger. “--How do you know Lalnable? Is he here?”

Kakujo raised his hands over his head as he got more distance between himself and the clearly-panicked guy with a rocket launcher. “We’re… friends?” he said, cautious. “I met him, uhhh, a little while ago, like I was on my way back from a mining adventure and I saw him looking for something so I helped him out, we had a chat-- Yeep!”

On reflex, Lalna had pointed the rocket launcher at him. “Looking for what?” he asked, a bit sharper than he meant to. He wasn’t exactly as paranoid as Hector himself, but… This guy wasn’t doing a good job of making himself seem trustworthy. What if Hector was hatching another evil plan? What if he was trying to track them down? What if Nano was in danger again? Or himself, but mostly Nano?

Oh, man, how was he going to get himself out of this one. Kakujo kept his eyes trained on the gun; he’d been shot before, with both bullets and arrows, and it wasn’t the most pleasant experience. Rockets were new. Rockets were guaranteed to be instant death if he got hit by one, or several. What was he going to say to CORE if he suddenly appeared back at base smoking and in distress? Although he could also use that to reinforce why he’d told CORE to stay behind, if explosives were involved.

“His friend got sick.” Probably for the best that he leaves out the “dark magic” part. Kakujo got a feeling that wouldn’t go over well, especially seeing as he was at gunpoint. “He was looking for something that’d help them feel better, I was in the area and was like ‘hey, you’re in a problem, I can help’--”

“Five was sick?” Lalna’s eyes widened. His thoughts immediately went to Nano-- despite the high amount of tension between them, xe still worried about the Specimens and felt a weird sort of familial connection, considering they were literal clones of xem. Hearing that Five was sick-- especially with the state Nano xemself had been in-- was a bad sign.

That was unexpected. Lalna had gone from “suspicious” to “sounding actually concerned for Five’s wellbeing” like a switch had been flipped. So they knew each other, then? “Yeah, but they’re better now..?”

Lalna put the rocket launcher away, covered his eyes, tilted his head back, and let out a strained groan. “Of course they were sick,” he whined. “Nano’s been under the weather too, and the ethereal blooms have been helping but Hector doesn’t do Thaumcraft besides the bare minimum, so if their Taint is being a problem then he wouldn’t have any idea what to do…” Kakujo watched as he slumped over. “They’re okay?” he asked, hopeful. “What happened?”

“Yeah, they’re-- they’re fine.” Who was Nano? Somebody this guy knew, obviously, but… Well, Hector hadn’t mentioned a Nano. Or that he had a doppelganger wandering around with a rocket launcher. Maybe because it wasn’t relevant at the time, but at the same time Kakujo figured “oh, yeah, you might run into a guy that looks near-exactly like me except he had a run-in with a lawnmower and instead of trying to stab you he’ll try to shoot you” would be pretty relevant. “Uh, it was something about… Their Taint was getting all weird and making them sick, and then there was something about an entity messing with them and making it worse or… something?” Lalna paled. “I was mostly just there for moral support, but--”

“Mother was after Five?” That’s pretty bad! It’s also a first-- as far as Lalna knew, Nano had been the only one experiencing trances. Again, pretty bad with how Nano's been doing since their hop through timelines. Had Mother switched targets?

Okay, okay, don’t panic. Lalna exhaled hard and carded his hands through his hair. “Okay, but-- they’re fine now? Nothing bad happened..?”

Kakujo tilted his head and put his hands in his pockets. “They called me a himbo and Hec said that was a good sign.”

Yeah, that was definitely Specimen Five.

“And I think Hector would actually punch Mother’s lights out if they tried to do that again,” Kakujo added. Lalna’s eyebrows shot up. ...Yeah, he could see that. He’d do about the same for Nano, after all. “So, uh… No offense, but. Who’re you? Are you Hector’s twin or something? Because he didn’t tell me he had a twin.”

Lalna deflated. “He didn’t mention me..?” Way to sound like a sad puppy, Lal. Maybe he really isn’t on the list of things for the Baddies to care about right now, which… actually makes him feel pretty weird. Hector had turned his entire world upside-down, and meanwhile he was just a background character in the other scientist’s life. Ow.

He held out a hand. “I’m Lalna,” he introduced himself, somewhat awkward. “I’m, uh… I guess I’m Hector’s twin, yeah.” It’s technically true. “Sorry about the gun thing… Last time I talked to Hector, we weren’t on good terms.” By which he meant last time he’d talked to Hector face-to-face, it had been when Hector taunted him about him being the failed clone and that his master plan included wiping him from existence through time travel paradoxes. Fun times! “Also he tends to try and kill me?”

Kakujo nodded. “Oh, yeah, he tried to stab me. He missed.”

[faorism]

needing the au to drop wherein i can commit to writing a historical au,, because since i first watched the db cooper job my mind went straight to OT3! OT3! OT3! (unlike with the van gogh job, since i aint playing with that fucking lieutenant)

one day maybe one dayyyyy i will sit down and i will write the ot3 into that episode's story. so, it'll be the backgrounds for the characters in the flashback (so, stephanie ritter, steve reynolds, and reggie wilkins), but with the necessary personality adjustments (parker, eliot, and hardison respectively). basically, vintage ot3 with some hot as hell aesthetics and secrets and avoiding as much as possible producing copraganda.

so. my thoughts. what i see happening. and this got super long so im throwing this under a cut. and for ease i will call them by their modern day canon names except when making a point.

first, general thoughts about the characters.

and so: steve to eliot. nothing much here on the surface. eliot still volunteers, too much an indoctrinated white man to have been forcibly drafted. so its still one man gone to war. one man come back. eliot would had been noticed early in training for his ability to pick shit up, and they teased at maybe sending him to a special unit. maybe they do, or maybe they don't because they just need to funnel fuckers to the jungle. the vietnam invasion was a terrorist imperialist venture and there's no romanticizing from me about anything done being at all valorous or special or brother-in-arms'y. and eliot commits war crimes under the american stars and stripes instead of just to keep moreau's champaign running. but also maybe moreau is eliot's superior. he certainly would have been rewarded for this ruthlessness. (eliot of course strove to impress moreau because there aint an eliot spencer who wasn't that man's dog at some point, i!!!! dont make the rules). eliot's friend died and eliot's gone off to carry out his wishes and moreau lets him because he Knows eliot is gonna come back. whether its to come back to the same squad, or follow him into deeper spy shit for the military, or to fuck off and go private. then eliot meets parker.

now. stephanie to parker. beth plays normal so well im mad at her, but there's something edgy and strategic about stephanie that i think parker can grab onto. i feel that maybe she was kind of a thief still, but there's more realism to this world so archie wasnt a super secret spy with lasers to practice with, but just a guy with sticky fingers whos a little bored and wants a protege. parker is good really good at what she does, and not having to deal with lasers makes me easy. but she's into scams that are less grifts and more Catch Me If You Can slight of hands. she's always looking for easy money (she was into lifting cars at one point! literally she follows where the crime is). she's doing something in an airport and someone tries to recruit her as a flight attendant because she's got the Look. and yall, flight attendants? that shit was like being a model and an astronaut and a time traveler back then. and according to a teacher i had, who once worked as in the f.a. union, those ladies back in the day were rad and queer and free spirited and runnnnning shit. i think, yes, it's a Job which i think we might resist placing parker into. but! of the jobs, at the time, i really see her rocking it during the time period. (also come on, the opportunities to swindle distracted people of their shit would be endless. they would just think they dropped their stuff in the airport! not that it was stolen.)

finally, reggie to alec. i think hardison will be the hardest to translate. even tho i admittedly listen to a lot of true crime podcasts, i dont know much about fbi life and also definitely don't know about it historically. part of me desperately wants to put him somewhere else even if it does have to stay within the fbi. i might cheat and make him like a Q(uartermaster) to 007/00s like in james bond, and he's like UGH this is horrible god i hate working for the fbi but they will give me funding so...... anyway, here's this totally cool [radio term]. that said, if hardison is stuck in the fbi, why he ends up there is that he is a fucking savant when it comes to research and the man can put together a presentation like no one else. that white man gets all the credit for profiling but it was hardison who goddamn was the google of the microfilm days. reggie felt super square but that might be because he had to deal with mcsweeties db cooper shit day in and day out for years. hardison is more himself. and definitely still a nerd. alec would be into dime fantasy novels and comics and ham radios and oh god he also would be into star trek like the original star trek as it came out and he would be into the zines yes! yessss. omg. also he plays a mean arcade cabinet. but he's mostly well adjusted but lonely. his colleagues dont appreciate him because fbi esp during that time were fucking wilding out and racist as hell aaaaaand im sorry im srry im trying so hard to have fbi hardison make sense but also! acab. ANYWAY.

second, the relationship

i think it would be fun to play with what it means to have parker/eliot start off first and bring in hardison afterwards. (if white collar is your thing, it would be like this canon divergent ot3 fic wherein peter burke is the last to join in.) i feel they would be Super Intense esp since they are carrying this big ass secret. kind of broken and dysfunctional and there's the passion and the commitment, but i think there's also a tenderness that's super hard for them to achieve? and i think there's a way that hardison plays such an important part in who they are and how they are. like, sure i think parker/eliot would have joy but they won't have levity. they would have compassion but they won't have gentleness.

eliot meets hardison after being recruited by nate. i think they get close because while nate and eliot have an interesting and compelling mentorship/friendship, nate is still eliots superior; sometimes its nice to complain about your boss, as hardison will say to eliot to try to make friends. i think hardison and eliot would become legit friends and not just work buddies because they are just not cut out of the same cloth as the rest of their colleagues. they grab beers after work. after hard days, hardison cajoles eliot into going to the arcade. they are friends. real real truly deep best friends, in a way hardison didn't think he could have with a fed and eliot didnt think he would have after his friend died. but also? they are like "buds" who are buds who are desperately tryna to cross any lines because there's a.... tension? an UST between them they dont know what to do with.

parker meets eliot by way of a "lets have my friend for dinner, he's a blast." and immediately immediately hardison is like... wow this woman is beautiful but like, really attracted to her personality. and parker things hardison is kinda dorky but cute dorkie? anyway, they have a puppy love situation growing. and it keeps growing until bam. eliot and parker are like. are we into alec???? fuck we are aren't we.

i think stephanie and steve would never tell reggie (even if somehow they were to be a thing). but parker and eliot? hell yeah they tell hardison. eventually. after a while. sooner than maybe they should. the tension if they should say something is one of the things that build up as UST between them for so long; parker and eliot know they are carrying this huge thing. two huge things. eliot being db cooper and also their massive crush on him.

if i could control myself to stick to a pwp, it would be another christmas. maybe the christmas nine (more?) years down the road. the damn snow grounded hardison's flight back to his nana's, and parker and eliot hear this and invite him over. the egg nog gets flowing and parker eventually is like,, fuck this. and comes onto hardison. and hardison would be like wow wow what but... idk, free love and swinging were In The Thoughts And Minds Of The People. he still checks in with eliot who is like. her body, man; i aint gonna tell her what to do. and for a sec hardison is like, man is this a cuck situation? i guess i can be for it but also...... aint mad if i aint alone. and eliot is so grateful and idk. i just want them all to be happy and having fun and no one to be left out. and yeah i am kinda brushing over a lot of the racial politics which, in a more developed fic rather than a pwp, would definitely need to be brought in; but idk that needs to just be in the bedrock of whatever plot is going into this.

it takes a lot of maneuvering of their lives but they make it work and eventually hardison is a keeper of eliot's secret too.

(apart from the historical aspect, another reason i probably won't actually write this is because i know myself. i would want to do worldbuilding. i would follow eliot and alec to their jobs, but i wouldnt want to write outright copaganda. the grit/realism i would be comfortable with would take a level of research i dont think i can commit to. but if someone wants to take this up or if you figure out a way around this issue, pls do i wont be mad)

[ghost-in-the-stalls]

What are ur tilda hcs?

Okay im finally gonna answer this!! Thank you so much for asking!!! I love receiving asks and I love sharing my headcanons. Sorry again it's so late ❤❤❤

This isn't gonna be nearly as well worded and eloquent as I originally planned. The first time I wrote it it basically became a drabble about her life. And then I lost that whole draft. Lmao

I just don't have it in me to recreate that whole thing again but I still wanna share my headcanons about her because I do have a lot!

I also wanna say this is in no way to like... excuse her behavior or try and redeem her. She was a terrible person. But people aren't born terrible. And I like taking 2 dimensional fictional women and making them make sense. So this isn't to excuse but instead to explain? I guess?

cw for all the shit you expect with the minyards by now, but specifically drug addiction and statutory rape. Also this is LONG so its going under a cut.

So first of all, I imagine her and Luther as being half siblings. Their father was a preacher or something- someone with a big role in their church's community and a big reputation of being a reliable, wise, holy man.

When Luther was maybe around 3 years old, there was this teenage girl in the congregation who would often come to Mr. Hemmick for advice, guidance, comfort, etc. She didn't quite fit in in school, wasn't great at academics and struggled to keep up with her siblings achievements, and was overall going through a lot of the turmoil thats unfortunately common for teenagers.

So she, like many people in the congregation, went to Mr Hemmick for guidance and ended up seeing a lot of him. She felt listened to and believed in with him. She felt like he treated her as more mature than the way her family treated her. She trusted him. He abused that.

If you asked her at the time, she would have said it was consensual between them. But she was 16. And when she became pregnant, he turned on her REAL fast lemme tell you. He made her promise not to tell anyone that he was the father, and he only told his wife. And of course, when he told his wife, he talked at length about how this 16 year old girl tempted him to sin; how he regretted it and only hoped she could learn to truly find God.

So he took the child in upon being born as a way to "attone" for what he'd done, but the whole community (not knowing he was the father) just saw it as an act of good will. And of course he'd tout off a lot in his sermons about how he'd be able to give the baby a much better, holier lifestyle than a teenager who turned her back on god by having sex.

So he and his wife end up raising Tilda from birth, but they make sure she knows from the beginning the circumstances of her birth. They drill it into her that her mother was a dirty sinner and that she herself is tainted as a result. She is raised always feeling like she needs to be twice as good to even be considered half as good as her brother in her parents eyes.

Naturally, she stops trying pretty early. In middle school, I imaging her being one of those bullies. The really nasty ones who get violent at their victims for even looking at them wrong. Idk about anyone else, but in my schools growing up the fights between the girls were always way bloodier than the ones between the guys. And I imagine those as the types of fights she got in- especially when one of her victims decides to stand up for themselves by throwing her own baggage back in her face.

By high school, she was thoroughly committed to the role of problem child. She would do everything she could to upset her family and get herself into shit. She'd do drugs, skip classes, show up to school drunk, stay out late, etc. In addition to all this, she would purposefully find whatever guy seemed like the most trouble and take him home. Whether this was the school drug dealer, a boy who got expelled for some rough shit, or college boys who caught her eye at parties.

So she's basically dug this hole for herself where she's committed to actually being the child of sin that her family has always seen her as anyway. The few people who tried to reach out to her wouldn't get far. She would push and push at them to see how far she could stretch their patience (to see how long it took them to give up on her like everyone else).

She even had one teacher who never did give up on her. But she outright told Tilda that she can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. Those words would ring in Tildas ears for years to come, even if she never found it in herself to put the concept into action.

So eventually she'd graduate- just barely because she rarely put in effort in school- and she'd be left to suddenly have to find a place in the world when she previously never even thought she'd have a future. She started batting heads with her family even more (which no one thought was possible at that point) but it became less antagonistic on her end. She was still a shit stirrer, don't get me wrong. But she was getting tired. The fights were less about her being intentionally aggrevating and aggressive and more about her continuously being unable to live up to their expectations.

Luther already had a promising job as a cop at this point, meanwhile she was still living at home and bouncing between jobs that barely kept her afloat and boyfriends that barely made her feel worth something. She'd gotten into drugs in high school, and the habit only got worse now that she was out. It was the only thing that made her feel something other than misery or numbness. She could lose herself in the drugs and the boyfriends and the late nights out. She would come home to see her parents less and less and would speak to them only when absolutely necessary.

Eventually Mr. Hemmick died fairly young (heart attack or something equally as tragic. Whatever I dont care about him enough to pick the details) and his wife followed soon after by suicide. The house was left to Luther, who moved back in immediately and said there'd be changes in the household. He basically told Tilda to quit the drugs and go back to church if she wanted to stay in the house. He also had other rules like keeping a job, dumping her current boyfriend, giving her a curfew, etc.

So she left. She took her shitty beat up car an ex had fixed up for her and headed to California. A friend from high school lived out that way, so that's where she headed.

During this period in her life the drugs got a lot worse. This is also when she realized that she had become addicted. Mainly this is because, even after being away from her family and having freedom, she was still miserable. She didn't know how to get through a day sober. The constant variation between numbness and misery was too much to bare, but she wasn't ready to help herself. She wasn't ready to commit to her own healing and health.

She was in and out of therapy and rehab as quickly as she'd change jobs and partners. She wouldn't commit, and as soon as she had an out she'd take it. Had to miss an appointment for scheduling? Didn't make it back to the shelter in time to claim her bed for the night? Forgot to call back one of the few people who tried to reach out? No going back.

This is my main thing with Tilda. She was a shitty person who had a shitty life. But she never found the strength and commitment in herself to put in the work to be better. She instead let herself fall further and further down the hole because it was easier than pulling herself out. Because part of her still believed deep down that she had succeeded in living up to her birthright- that she wasn't deserving of ever healing or being better.

It was in one of these rehab facilities that she met the twins' father (and this part is absolutely inspired by Luke and Joey from the haunting of hill house). He was a guy with a similar past to hers- always sure he was meant to be bad so he committed to the role and never learned to commit to anything else. The difference between them, though, was that he was ready to get better.

They became fast friends and leaned on one another a bit while in rehab. She didn't see him as anything other than a friend, but he unfortunately became set on this idea that they would heal and move forward together. She knew he had feelings for her and enabled him (she didn't love him back but had never actually felt cared for like this before). He believed in her even when she didn't believe in herself, which was a lot. Unfortunately for him, he also ended up being more committed to her healing than she was. When she eventually started spiraling again, all other feelings for him were overshadowed by the part of her that just saw an opportunity.

She took advantage of him. She slept with him, took his money while he was sleeping, and bailed to get high and never see him again. Now I'm not gonna say she was just a devil who entered this poor man's life. He saw her more as a potential for an ideal life than a person. He was more in love with the dream he had of them getting better and starting a life together than he was actually in love with her and who she was as a person. Bad match all around.

So she never saw or heard from him again. When she found out she was pregnant, she went home to Luther and his wife and son. She didn't tell him right away that she was pregnant. Instead, she pretended she was just finally ready to commit to God and turn her life around. She played the part alright for a while, went to church with them and got sober and everything, but tried to leave and move into a women's shelter when she started showing. Luther found out and brought her home.

At first he was actually super supportive- mainly because he just genuinely thought she wanted to find God and stop "living in sin". But when she finally told him she didn't plan to keep the child, he turned on her.

We know the story from there. Personally I think the night that she stole the money and ran as her point of no return. Years down the line, when she knew she was being a terrible mother and person, she'd remember that night. And she'd think to herself how this is who she was always meant to be. How she doesnt deserve to be any better than how she is. And she'd dig the hole deeper.

-----

So yeah thats my take on Tilda Minyard. Sorry it was so long. I like the idea of giving depth and complexity to female characters- even the bad guys and the ones I don't like. I have a similar lengthy life concept for Mary Hatford as well, but it isn’t nearly as long. If anyone is curious lol

Thanks again for asking!

[artemisbarnowl]

Please look at these terrible photos of my finished dress!

I can sorta sew but i cannot sorta pose at all so....

I definitely made those straps too long (the danger of escaping boob was very real) but that's an easy fix.

This is only my 5th me-made garment, only the second that isn't sleep/loungewear so actually gets to leave the house and be Seen by People.

Stretch velvet is a pain in some ways: sheds everywhere when you cut it, very wiggly going through the machine

But nice in others: doesn't matter if your cutting measurements are a little off because STRETCH, doesn't fray and this sort didn't roll at the edges, pretty

I'm happy I got a functional garment, but this dress is not well made! It was a really great learning experience in terms of playing with tricksy fabrics, but also for learning what corners you can cut and which you can't (literally and figuratively).

Big takeaways

-walking foot would be nice to have, not strictly necessary if your pattern is forgiving of slightly wonky seams and allowances. I WILL be saving up for one though, i can already see where it would be a huge blessing

- if you're going to wing it and vaguely trace about an extant garment test amount of stretch first, or at least add 5cm each side just in case. I got super lucky this time.

- Im still afraid of sleeves, which is why this dress ended up with spaghetti straps. I know it's harder because im just drafting everything haphazardly instead of just following a pattern that is designed to have pieces that fit together, but more attention to arm scye drafting in general will help. My next project will be a low stakes bedsheet 18th century style shirt so the perfect opportunity to practise. (Actual setting of sleeves not too scary if you attach before you sew the bodice side seams together)

-buy matching thread already so I can hem stuff because l KNOW I'm not doing it by hand ever.

-back to winging it, take literally 3 mins to make a paper pattern piece to ensure that your fabric pieces are at least symmetrical when you attempt to sew them together. I got lucky again with this fabric and construction in that you can't tell the pieces are a bit....off all around. But i made so I know, do better.

[baragakiscans]

Firstly, sorry for losing the post to your ask! Tumblr shitty UI stuff happened and I accidentally deleted the draft TvT (they should make an option for asks to reappear if the draft answer got deleted or sth smh)

Secondly, IM SO SORRY FOR THE EXTREMELY LONG POST AAAAA

I tried to keep the explanations short like I did for Saraba (even that was pretty long) but then the more I tried the longer it became, and in the end what was supposed to be my take on like 2 pages of this book became this extremely long in-depth analysis of the entire book  _(´ཀ`」 ∠)_  But I mean, I’ve agonised over the translations for this book for almost half a year and I have Lots of Feelings about it because GOD I LOVE THIS BOOK

Anyway, Makkura is another one of those books with a lot of hidden layers that can be unpacked from the story with multiple rereads. Unlike Saraba where some things were intentionally left open to interpretation (I think), though, this book is slightly more straightforward, and I’d like to offer my take on the story.

Long post and Makkura spoilers below the cut!

At the beginning of the story, Gintoki and Hijikata were already dating (secretly-but-not-so-secretly). They’ve clearly been dating for a while now; Hijikata coming over to Gintoki’s place to stay the night (though he’d usually be gone by morning), mayonnaise in the Yorozuya fridge, etc… Though their displays of affection were rather subdued, to the onlooker (and everyone else around them) these two idiots were so obviously crazy in love with each other 💕💕 However, there is something that seems a little… off about their relationship, and this something would have continued lurking in the shadows…

The beginning of the end…?

…Had Gintoki not lost all of his memories of his relationship with Hijikata. Gone was the man who would become agitated at the mere thought of his beloved going into danger; the man before Hijikata now barely knew him, and the thought of dating the Demon Vice Commander would never have crossed his mind.

Imagine waking up to find out that your boyfriend has forgotten all about his relationship with you and makes THIS face at the mere thought of shacking up with you

What Hijikata did next may seem illogical at first (and don’t get me wrong, it really is), but it makes a bit more sense once you realise what exactly was off about their relationship.

You see, Hijikata didn’t think that he was good enough for Gintoki.

If you’re familiar with Syaku’s works, you may have noticed a particular trope being rather common: Hijikata and/or Gintoki falling in love with the other, yet not taking the step forward because they were afraid of getting in the way of the other’s creed—to protect.

Looks familiar? ;)

In Makkura, they did manage to take that step forward (regardless of who made that step first), but even so, there’s always been a niggling doubt somewhere in the back of Hijikata’s mind that maybe—just maybe—Gintoki would be better off without him. Hijikata would do everything in his power to protect the Shinsengumi, and he knows that Gintoki would do the same to protect those he holds dear. It just didn’t occur to him that he was one of them, too. Instead, he was afraid of Gintoki straying from his path because of him.

Gintoki losing his memories was like a wake-up call to Hijikata, that his relationship with Gintoki was too good to be true—and if it will all come to an end eventually anyway, then he should be the one to pull the plug first, especially since the perfect opportunity to reset everything to a clean state has presented itself. He pretended that nothing happened between the two of them. He told Gintoki to “Forget about all this. Everything.” He tried to convince himself that he should make a clean break and completely remove himself from Gintoki’s life, and be content with merely watching from afar.

Maybe Hijikata thought that since he and Gintoki never confirmed their relationship, the people around them will just shrug it off, or won’t notice the change in behaviour. But needless to say, everyone around them immediately noticed that something was wrong. And they even had Hijikata’s inner thoughts all figured out.

The Shinsengumi members know their vice commander too well XD

Even Gintoki himself had managed to put two and two together, but he just couldn’t figure out why he fell in love with the man with whom he always fights like cats and dogs. And since Hijikata himself was so adamant on nothing happening, all he could do was watch as the man-who-is-apparently-his-lover-but-he-somehow-forgot told him to stay out of his way. That’s why, it’s up to everyone else to restore Gintoki’s memories and get these two idiots back together.

While the Yorozuya kids were scrambling to find the antidote, Hijikata opted to go down the slippery slope of self-abandonment by meeting the pervert Bakufu official despite knowing full well what might happen to him. He thought it was all for the sake of the Shinsengumi, but seeing Gintoki down the hallway jolted him back to his senses and made him realise just how wrong he was. He realised the reason why he was actually doing this—to see if Gintoki would come to his aid, to see if Gintoki was still the man he knows and love. He realised that he doesn’t want to give his body to anyone anymore—anyone else, that is. He realised just how truly madly deeply in love he was with Gintoki.

What indeed…

By the time he realised this, though, it already seemed too late; it didn’t seem like Gintoki was going to save him. So, he resolved to keep his memories of Gintoki as a happy dream, and was ready to succumb to despair—when Gintoki finally comes to the rescue! (Not sure if Yamazaki didn’t press the button on purpose here) Of course, Gintoki was pissed off that Hijikata would do something this reckless. So he told Hijikata, “You should treasure yourself more…” (BTW, the original Japanese really only had “You should _______ more…”, I had to fill in the blanks) That’s when Hijikata realised that he was right all along; Gintoki hasn’t changed, even without Hijikata’s memories. And that’s all he needed to know.

And over in this exhibit we have the exact moment when Gintoki fell in love all over again

Right when Gintoki was about to profess his love say something to Hijikata, the kids finally arrive with the antidote! And Sougo even figured out that Gintoki doesn’t really need the antidote anymore since he’s in back in love with Hijikata XD But of course Gintoki wants to remember. Of course he wants to remember all about his time together with the man he now knows he loves. He drinks the antidote—

Ohhhh boy shit’s about to go DOWN

—And we arrive at the emotional climax of the story. Gintoki’s furious—Of course he would be; his lover just tried to erase himself from his life, thinking that it was for his sake! Gintoki thought that Hijikata had underestimated him—in a way, he’s right; Hijikata had underestimated just how much Gintoki needs him. He knew that Gintoki loves him, but he also thought that Gintoki should forsake him for the sake of those he wants to protect.

That’s why Gintoki let Hijikata know just how much he means to him. He has already come to know all of him, so he can’t ever bring himself to let him go. That’s when Hijikata started to realise that he was wrong about Gintoki, and wrong about himself. He meant much more to Gintoki than he ever thought he did.

This led to the one exchange that I wrote out this entire analysis for—

Did I really write 1800 words just for this? Yes. Yes I did.

If Hijikata really meant so much to him, then does that mean Gintoki would have tried to erase himself from Hijikata’s world for his sake, too? Gintoki doesn’t think so, but that’s after everything that has happened so far. Who’s to say he wouldn’t do it if their positions really were reversed at the beginning of the story? They both know that, because they both hold on so dearly to the same beliefs, the same pride.

That led to Gintoki throwing the question back at Hijikata—does that mean Hijikata would fall in love with Gintoki again even without his memories, just like Gintoki did? In asking this, Gintoki was telling Hijikata that, even if he were to do the same, deep down, he would still want Hijikata to fall in love with him again. And that’s when Hijikata realised—it was the same for him, too.

At that point, the two of them came to the same conclusion—neither of them can live without the other anymore. Yet, even if their positions were reversed, they would still have done the same. And even if that were to happen, they would still arrive at this same conclusion. They both love the other too much to let go; yet, they both love the other so much that they’d be willing to let go. Now that they both know this, their bond has become truly unbreakable.

Hijikata’s reply was therefore an affirmation—

“Even so, you’d have done the same. Even so, I’ll still fall in love with you.”

That’s just the way both of them are.

And so, at the end of the story, we now have Gintoki who wants Hijikata to know just how much he loves him (maybe becoming more possessive in the process?), and Hijikata who now knows just how much Gintoki loves him, and has come to forgive himself for loving him. Their relationship is one full of contradictions, yet no matter what happens, they will both find their way back to the place where they belong—in (or should I say on?) each other’s arms.

Look at the how much love there is in Hijikata’s eyes just LOOK AT IT AAAAA

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why Makkura is one of my top Ginhiji doujins of all time! I really really hope that my translation managed to do it justice, and I hope my ramblings were coherent enough TvT 

If you’ve managed to read this far, do give Makkura a reread and you just might see it in a different light ;) Of course, my interpretation might be different from what Syaku intended to present, so feel free to come up with your own interpretations as well!

Also, halfway through writing this I found an analysis by @mugimarumaru over in the MRM comments section, so do check it out as well :>

Thank you for coming to my TED talk and hope you have a nice day~

(I wish I’d put in this much effort in my college essays)

- JJ

(P.S. The REAL question here: if their roles were reversed would that make it a Hijigin book 🤔🤔🤔)

[fistsoflightning]

stories you want to write...

...but for some reason haven’t yet.

tagged by: @to-the-voiceless​!!! thank you cyan for giving me the opportunity to dump out my slightly dusty idea doc onto everyone’s dash sdgsndfnsdfn

tagging: hmmm... @windupnamazu​ (double tag yes yes) @whitherliliesbloom​ @windup-dragoon​ @heirsofdiscord​ @ancientechos​ and you! as you can see, i like fic concepts >:3c

1) okay, so. there’s a section of my idea doc that’s labeled ‘azim steppe shenanigans’ because i Can and Will rewrite as much of the azim steppe MSQ as i please including characterization (yes i’m looking at magnai) ANYWAYS. top idea of the list, which is also the one i want to write The Most, is the naadam duty rewrite! catch me on the ‘why is the wol the khagan of a land they probably don’t even belong to’ train, more news on how zaya and oktai beat up hien at 11. or whenever i get around to writing it since it has Combat and i’m. not the best at it. honorable mentions to the pre-canon sadu, magnai, and zaya tearing through bardam’s mettle fic and the solar eclipse remix that i don’t currently have the energy for ;W; sorry oktai and magnai you’ll have to reside in “are we actually. dating.” hell for a bit longer

2) second on this list is the ‘ysayle lives’ fic!!! honestly there is a whole ass series sitting in my idea doc that also includes moenbryda, papalymo, and maaaybe bad-end flavored minfilia lives? but the ysayle one is like. 60% done but i need to trash and restart since i don’t. like it that much. highlights include: ysayle but a little more dragon flavored, separation of iceheart vs. ysayle, and gratuitous earth imagery versus the ice of coerthas

oh god okay im sticking the rest under a cut this got. Long

3) there is also a section of my doc labeled ‘angst elie isn’t allowed to have as a treat’ because at this point all of mom squad deserves to swing a bat straight for my head, buuut the idea i’m looking at is lightwarden au related! funtimes. ehsk al, anyone? (yes that means either promised love or love’s promise in dragonspeak. yes there’s a reason for this.) the line keeping this idea’s spot is: “ thancred climbs up mt. gulg one final time to meet the mourning dragon.” :)))

4) i want to go more into the various different cultures of my wols!!! i detest the lack of ala mhigan lore (monk lore too. i’m Salty about SB) which is why i haven’t gone into dewah’s family that much but i have an idea and some minor worldbuilding in the making? there’s also lumelle, whose emotions on ishgard are (as all emotions are) complicated, and zaya, who hasn’t been home in a literal decade give or take. i have to think real hard for it tho sdgnsdfsd that’s why they’ve been collecting dust for months.

4.1) the amount of hrothgar and viera lore is also criminal. don’t make me homebrew more lore squeenix give us Actual Lore. duscha and valdis deserve More.

5) okay i. i am very embarrassed by this but i have a longfic draft for a fic that at this point legally has to be tagged “slow burn, if by slow burn you mean 18 years” whenever i finish enough to be able to start posting it and YES ITS ZAYA AND THANCRED. 

yeah. i know. this has been haunting me since ffxivwrite last year-ish. it is also very D U S T Y but it has about 15 different ideas i’ve just mass dumped into it and i despise it and myself. additionally some ardbert feelings slipped into the SHB bits and i’m. maybe unrequited ardbert/zaya.... mayhaps

6) i love carbuncles and i love dt’s writing about the carbuncles which may have led to the thought bunny “what if: black opal carbuncle for zaya’s nameday” and it has haunted me but since zaya’s nameday in real time was a day off from the 5.3 drop it promptly got buried under all the ideas i got from 5.3

7) SPEAKING OF 5.3 CONTENT: carmela predicted correctly that i would like the ‘you’re a long way from home, moogle’ interaction you get if you choose the option that has kupo when talking with thancred and i’m possessed. i want to write something surrounding zaya’s honorary postmoogle title and thancred finding out they spent three weeks delivering eorzea’s mail.... there’s a bunch of canon rewrites but for multiple WOLs i’d like to do but i’m Tired

8) rhmrhrr.... AU time! main street au is still haunting my bones and i want to write more because mom squad spent like. an hour talking about how it’s just like dime store romance fiction amassed into an entire au and there’s a certain flowershop romance i need to write >:3 there’s also the ol’ CHB AU hanging around Somewhere and a very small part of me that craves to keep writing hanahaki au which is just slowburn 2.0

9) OH WAIT. i have Exactly One idea that’s mostly npc-based which is just me having feelings about the going-ons of norvrandt before the WOL is summoned, mostly revolving around ryne/baby-filia which i think? will have four parts? it’s really just me worldbuilding with norvrandt and having a great time. i scribbled down a beginning to try and shake off some rust (it did not really work) but:

10) honorable mention goes to the ‘zaya, thancred, and co. give ryne a nameday celebration despite her not really having a nameday’ idea and to this, which never fails to give me a chuckle when i read it in my idea doc:

[mimi-cee-hq]

Yahaba’s Type - Yahaba x Reader (Part 2 of 2)

[Masterlist]

[Part 1] [Part 2]

Summary:

Although Y/n was known as the clown friend, she wasn’t very comfortable around Yahaba. But that started to change when she saw him awkwardly practising his tosses by himself.

Match-up Request:

Hi I’m here for a match up request~ I’m tall (about 1.80) with blonde middle length hair & light brown eyes I’m a bit plump (usually thin but lately I’ve put on some weight) & sometimes I get self conscious about it 😬 been playing volleyball for 10 years as a middle blocker & my team’s ace ☺️ I also enjoy drawing a lot whenever I have free time Im THAT clown friend who gets really happy whenever people laugh with my jokes & I try to cheer people up that way whenever I see someone being down -🦋

So I found out that actually can save my answers as drafts (but only in the app??). *shrugs* Still learning how to use Tumblr.

Yahaba’s Type - Yahaba x Reader

Words: 2,066

Yahaba took a glance at the second floor before their practice match had started. As they warmed up for the match, he felt like his serves and sets were on point today. He was glad that his setting practice with Y/n had paid off. Chiaki and Y/n decided to watch their game today when Chiaki heard about it. She wanted to know what kind of teammates Kyotani had and wondered how they treated him. Y/n came along as well, which was probably the first time she had ever watched their games. But there were times when he wondered if she should have come.

The match started off with Yahaba’s serve. After bouncing the ball a couple of times, he threw the ball in front of him and ran up to it for his jump serve. But as it hit the top of the net, he held his breath until the volleyball had fallen onto the opponent’s side of the court. He let out a sigh of relief. But that didn’t last long because he heard Y/n shouting at the top of her lungs. “Kya~~! You’re so cool, Yahaba!”

Yahaba quickly turned his head up to her direction to see her laughing her head off. He got a bit annoyed at her since he knew she was just messing around. She wouldn’t have been impressed by his jump serve because she knew how to do one as well. Also, getting a point from a net serve already wasn’t very cool in itself. She was probably just mimicking Oikawa’s fan girls that he had told her about. Now he regretted ever telling her about them.

He gave her a smirk just before his next serve. He made sure she was still watching him. His next serve was a powerful one that he aimed at the other team’s spike-haired libero. When the libero missed his serve, he gave Y/n a smug grin. In response, she gave him a thumbs up and smiled.

“Well someone is showing off again,” said Kindaichi. Yahaba straightened up, remembering that he was in the middle of a match.

“What did you expect?” commented Kunimi. “He’s always been like that.”

As Yahaba got the ball back and walked back to the serving line, Y/n yelled out, “You’d better not miss your next serve!” She then said with a laugh, “Otherwise I’ll expose all of your secrets!”

Yahaba flinched at the thought. He didn’t want his team to know how much he had been practising outside of their usual practices.

“Since when have they been close?” Watari asked Kyotani. He just shrugged in response.

Yahaba didn’t expect them to notice that they were more comfortable with each other now. But with how Y/n was treating him, he shouldn’t have been surprised. The two of them had unintentionally continued to practise with each other for the past few months. He wasn’t planning on continuing their practices together, but he saw how much he had improved because of them.

When their opponents were able to get their first point, Seijoh got ready to receive their serve and attack. But when Yahaba set the ball to Kyotani, it was too high for him to reach. Luckily, Kunimi was somehow able to cover for him, even though it gave the other team a chance ball.

The next few times Yahaba tried to set, he kept on messing up. His fingers felt stiff. He didn’t know what was wrong because he had felt great during the warm up. Yahaba started to feel frustrated because he knew he was failing his team and they needed him. He was now their starting setter and captain. How were they supposed to beat Karasuno the next time around if he was already screwing up this match? He started to wonder if all of the extra practice with Y/n was useless.

Suddenly, he heard Y/n yell out a cheer. “Go, go, let’s go, let’s go, Dateko!”

The court was silent as they stared at the second floor to where Y/n stood. The Seijoh players were the first to break the silence with their laughter.

“What the heck is wrong with her?” said Kindaichi while he laughed hard enough for tears to come out of his eyes.

“Not only is she not cheering for us, but we’re not even playing against Dateko!” added Watari as he held his stomach while laughing.

Yahaba covered his laughter with his mouth. He also found it hilarious but he was equally embarrassed by her. She must have noticed that he was starting to panic. The rest of the team was doing well except for him

As the rest of the court continued to laugh, Y/n justified her actions by saying that their cheer was catchy. She even sang along when her own team played a match against them. She thought it was a lot better than their school’s cheer.

Yahaba then saw the referee remove the whistle from her mouth and turned to Y/n. “Y/n! If you disrupt this match again, you’ll be kicked out and you’ll have to run a hundred laps around the school during next practice!”

Y/n stood up straight and replied, “Yes, ma'am!” She pretended to zip her mouth to show that she had understood.

“I forgot that we got the girls’ team’s coach as the ref,” Kindaichi mentioned to Kunimi.

“If she’s the team’s captain, it must be pretty chaotic with her there,” added Kunimi.

Yahaba felt a bit of second-hand embarrassment from what Y/n just did. But because of her joke, he was able to calm down.

He realized how cold his fingers were. As he breathed on his hands, he remembered when he had jammed his fingers at the community center. Y/n had taken his hands and worried over them. He remembered how soft and warm her hands had been. So even though Yahaba had been trying to warm up his hands, he felt his cheeks heat up instead.

After the practice match had ended, Yahaba walked off the court and grabbed his water bottle for a drink. Y/n walked down from the second floor and the tall middle blocker from the other team approached her.

“We should go to the udon place that’s nearby,” stated the intimidating guy with a large build.

“Oh,” said Y/n with a nervous smile. “I’m not really interested.”

“But it’s really good!” he continued to insist.

Yahaba walked up to the guy who was pestering Y/n and tried to stare him down even though he was more than two meters tall. “She said she’s not interested,” Yahaba sternly told him. It’s not like he hadn’t dealt with troublesome people before. He didn’t want Y/n to deal with him by herself.

“What are you doing?” asked Y/n as she raised an eyebrow. “He’s a friend from junior high.” She continued to explain that a group of them were planning a reunion. She had said she wasn’t interested because she didn’t really like udon. She was more of a rice person.

“Ugh, this is so embarrassing,” Yahaba thought to himself.

“Sorry Hyakuzawa,” Y/n apologized with a smile. Kindaichi and Kunimi snickered at Yahaba for trying to be cool. He just told them to shut up.

As Yahaba walked away from the scene, Kyotani leaned on the wall with his arms crossed. “So what happened to having a type?” he asked with a smirk. He still held a grudge against him after all these months.

“Ugh, I don’t have one, okay?” Yahaba responded in frustration.

*****

After another night at the community center, Y/n plopped on her bed out of exhaustion. Her mom scolded her to at least take a shower. She did what she was told and got ready for bed. She checked her phone and saw a couple of texts from Yahaba.

Yahaba: Did you get home okay?

Yahaba: Since you’re not replying, I’ll just go sleep now. Night.

There was also another text that had appeared about an hour later.

Yahaba: I hope you dream of me

Y/n especially blushed at the last one. She didn’t remember him being a flirt. She knew there was no way he meant that. But a silly grin still formed on her mouth as she tried to lay on her bed to sleep. Unfortunately, it turned out that she was right. The next morning she saw one more text from him.

Yababa: I’m sorry! My sister texted that! Ignore that last one!

She knew that she should have known better. She sighed. It was harder to get over her growing crush on him.

She took a second look at the texts. She realized that he must have been exhausted for his sister to have the opportunity to use his phone. She wondered if they should cut down on their practices together.

Later at school, Y/n asked Chiaki if she was still free to come over for some home karaoke. She replied that she was.

“Can I come?” asked Kyotani.

Y/n had to blink a few times before she excitedly asked, “You want to sing?! Are you serious?!”

“No, I want to watch Chiaki sing.” Kyotani replied.

“Well that makes a lot more sense,” she laughed.

“Did you want to come?” Kyotani asked Yahaba.

“Why would I want to come?” asked Yahaba.

“You should come too! It’ll be fun!” said Y/n.

Kyotani didn’t really care was his response would be so he started to walk away with Chiaki. But Yahaba decided to tag along anyway.

When they arrived at Y/n’s house, her dad greeted Yabaha. But he flinched when Kyotani realized that he had been going to the community center.

“I guess your secret is out,” laughed Y/n. Since Kyotani knew her dad as well, he nodded to greet him.

The four of them sat in the living room. Kyotani and Chiaki sat on the large couch and Yahaba took the other end. Y/n set up the karaoke machine.

Chiaki sang a ballad beautifully. Y/n belted out a different song and sung badly on purpose. “Yay! I got a 68!” cheered Y/n. Her best friend found the whole thing hilarious like usual. Yahaba wondered why he came in the first place.

When Chiaki started to whistle to one of the songs, Y/n tried to whistle too. She couldn’t whistle at all. But she was being stubborn and kept trying anyway.

“You look stupid,” said Yahaba. “You’re getting your spit everywhere.” In response, she purposely got closer to him to tease him some more. “Ugh! Stop doing that!”

But Y/n still didn’t stop. It was kind of fun annoying him and the other two found it hilarious. Yahaba didn’t know how to make her stop. So he kissed her.

Y/n froze. She didn’t understand what had just happened. Yahaba smirked at her. But then his attempt to look cool failed him and his face became just as red as hers.

“W- What was that?!” Y/n freaked out. “Why would you do that?!” She tried to cover her blush with her hands. “You should only do that to someone you like!”

Yahaba looked away as he replied, “So it’s fine then.” He hid his face with his hands when Y/n realized that he admitted to liking her.

“B- But,” she continued to panic, “I’m not even your type.”

“I don’t have a type anymore,” he replied. “It’s just you.”

For once, Y/n was silent. She was trying to process the whole thing. She never expected Yahaba to like her back. She then smiled at the thought that he liked her enough for his type to be irrelevant over these past few months.

She took the seat beside him and inched a bit closer. The two still couldn’t make eye contact with each other. They both tried to steal a glance from each other, but when their eyes met, they quickly turned away again. Kyotani and Chiaki just stared at their awkwardness.

“Yahaba,” Y/n’s dad said in a deep voice. Y/n and Yahaba both flinched, not realizing that her dad was there. “I was wondering when you’d finally say something,” he said with a smirk.

*****

Extras that didn’t fit in the story:

Since Yahaba likes ikura don and Y/n likes rice dishes, they eat it all the time on dates.

Kyotani is actually pretty observant since he was conscious of his old teammates talking behind his back. But because he’s stubborn, reckless and just does his own thing anyway, it doesn’t really show through.

Chiaki is the cunning, protective type that looks innocent, but only Kyotani and Y/n know that.

I wanted Y/n to be the daughter of the guy from the community center who watched the Seijoh vs Karasuno match. But if she was, Y/n would have a (last) name. lol.

I hope you liked it! I actually had a hard time getting “clown funny” down. Other types of funny come more naturally to me (like sarcastic, teasing, and punny.) So I got some ideas from the webtoon Odd Girl Out with Mirae as a character model.

I also had a working name for Y/n because I write better that way. I might also post on fanfiction.net with the working name because they technically don’t allow reader-inserts. But I might not do it because it’s more work. lol. I actually initially started posting stories on FFN.

Check out my other stories too. :) I’m hoping to build a collection of them with all of the requests.

[Part 1] [Part 2]

[Masterlist]

[shiro-0197]

God no I'm sorry 😭😭😭 the way Tumblr eats all my drafts, and now your replies. (Someday I'm gonna eat Tumblr grrrr) that must've been so frustrating tho, I'm sorry love.

someday we could go to a country with Highlands together. It'll be super cold and nice. And the views would be really really pretty too!! WE COULD EVEN BE AMONGST THE CLOUDS >//< aww yes I hope you'll be able to try them soon in the future!! I died and had to stay in bed for an hour, (because my spice tolerance is nonexistent <3) but yeah I'm better now! Name is: "대박 ghost pepper noodles" the Korean word 대박 literally translates to "awesome" but— 😭😭

oh I see!! I hope school goes well, it's good that you're excused for a part of the day :D and aww I understand. Replying can be lengthy sometimes, so please please only do it when you're free and comfortable >:(( we're in no rush, after all :D

I was studying earlier too. and I texted my principal about the exams ( because apparently none of my teachers know anything about it, and I was so frustrated with everyone being so clueless ) she just replied with a : "hi Ariana, will let you know on Friday" like excuse me, ma'am. GRRRRR >:( STOP BEING CLUELESS.

awww that's okay!! I'm sure those prep slides were really pretty too :D aww that's sweet of you. some of my online friends sometimes sit in on my Leo events (if it's open to everyone) and it's pretty fun when they do (once, one of them had to talk for like, an activity and my club mates were like "SHE HAS AN ACCENT??". It was hilarious hehe) zoom is great for that reason, and only that. they're just ready-made slides tbh, I use canva :D

Shiro, love, you won't disappoint anyone, I promise you that. I'm sure your mom is more proud than you know, and from the way you talk about her, I can tell that she truly adores you. tho I also understand your worries. If you want to rant or anything, you know I'm here. And I'll just continuously reassure you of how amazing you are :)

that's my boy 🥺🥺 grr, you're so feisty, please imagine me holding a "you go, Shiro" sign everytime you tell someone to fuck themselves :D Laurent is indeed amazing. He's my favourite character for that exact reason >//< there's another character, from a book I read, just like that. His name was uhh, Kieran. And he knew so many different languages, and was just in general; super smart. I remember being so in love with him when I first read it (The title of the book is "genius")

HAHA. ikr. They're all hot, and most importantly; smart. nevermind, when I meet you someday we can cry over them together 😭🤚 pffft no offense, but being evil is hot sometimes 😾 (I mean, Kieran was evil. So's Moriarty :] and I am: a simp for them all)

aww bae that's okay 🥺🥺 your feelings are valid, and it's not wrong to express them whenever you feel like it. Grrr if I ever see your dad, he might be missing a limb >:( sorry, that was violent, but I get especially mad if anyone upsets someone i love )

exactly?? It's been a year?? Where's that blink meme where someone blinks and it's suddenly 2021. Oooh that sounds really nice!! Adding it on my list of things to try in March >.< Honey is really delicious. especially all those desserts which have a lot of them.

glad I made you laugh >////< grr my sense of humour is just so weird tho, so I'm glad you aren't freaked out by it.

KAJDKSJSKS SIR WAIT. There was an explanation for that u but I guess it got cut off in my notes 😾😾 IT WAS MEANT TO BE A Ü (smiley) but I was using my computer and I couldn't add the two dots above, so I typed "imagine the eyes" (but apparently that part got cut off and now it just looks like a random alphabet SKJSKSK IM SORRY 😭😭😭

I understand, the lack of opportunities can really get on one's nerves. But oh yes, Japan and Norway are beautiful countries. Apart from Japan, I've been really into Korea and Switzerland. The Alps 😻

grrr y'all have tough exteriors. But it's so rewarding when you finally get them down, tho I think, you guys have tons of other layers to yourselves. I guess that's just the charm, I find it endearing, because it just means there's a lot more than meets the eye :)

MY FRIEND MAKES FUN OF ME FOR LIKING PINK. HE TEASES ME MERCILESSLY SKSJSKSK (so I published a poem line in the school magazine to get back at him for it, because I'm petty like that)

that's so funny >.< There are two girls, and a girl and a guy, who share the exact same names in my class, and it's so funny because they're opposites of each other xD

he really is precious. The best leader, I would literally die for him, he's wonderful. yeah the book actually started out different, with them just being best friends. Best plot twist 😭😭 AWW

NOOO I'm sure it's cute, in it own way? :P tho that meme tho. LDJCJSBSKS. Don't worry, hehe, the character may be .... Unpleasant to look at?? , but you're not the least bit at all :)

how was your day btw? My day sucked ass and was literally the worst day in the history of uh, days. Yeah. sad. tomorrow will be better.

God, you're so adorable wtf. Marry me rn. AKDJSKSJS I didn't find it lame at all, (tho were you flustered? Because that was cute as hell xD) I love you too 🥺🥺

—☃️

It's okay, it's not your fault. We could storm the Tumblr building together or something..:3

Oh I really hope we can!!! I love cold weather. You can wear sweaters and hoodies and all that💞 and you have an excuse to cancel everything and cuddle up with a blanket or someone else😝

Im so glad you're better now!! Spice sickness or whatever is the worst😔 WBHDJWKX that's hilarious I hope I come across those soon! Let's see who wins😼

Yeah, about that, they started making us do after-class activities, which now leaves less time for the stuff I have to do .... which sucks . But I'm managing, I think, so it's cool xD yeah, I've always been kind of cautious about the timing, it's nice to have a little freedom now, thank you so much <3

Wow😭😭 our teachers usually have the dates set two weeks before the exams, we always recieve a message. Though I've been there, where the teacher have no clue, it's so annoying😭😭

Ohh, that's so cool! I hope I will be able to visit one someday. Though I dont think itll be too soon, but I'm looking forward to when I can😝 also that's funny, whenever I speak people go "he doesnt have an accent???" Even though I so obviously do. They just have no idea 😭

Okay..... that's the best words of encouragement I've ever received, I'm so touched- thank you🥺💘

Bwahah, that's gonna make my day every time 😭 Yeah, hes my favorite too!! He seems like a simple himbo at first, but the more we see of him the better he gets. (That sounds cool!!! I'm gonna check it out when I can!)

Thank you🥺 also, dont worry, I wouldn't mind that. I'd love that, actually, wanna go rip off guys arms together?

MZJXKGJJAKXKAKX IT'S ALRIGHT HAHAH, ITS REALLY FUNNY SO DONT WORRY😭😭

JSNFNMWMDMS IM GONNA MAKE FUN OF HIM FOR MAKING FUN OF YOU how could he . I will eat his eyeballs. Also I 100% agree with the poem and I'm glad you posted it. I hope some people thought about it.

Wow😭😭 its honestly so funny, because they're all so different and yet their names fit them so well either way.

Also, wow I feel so bad it's been almost a week since I responded😐 I'm really sorry. I've been writing snips of this message any time I could and yet it still took me days xD I'm getting free, though, so I'll try to respond faster now. I missed talking to you so much😭 thank you for your patience🤍🤍🤍

How've you been? I'm pretty good, tired but feeling good because I can finally respond😩 I hope your day went well. Love you!♡