#art is making me feel things once again
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y'all ever feel so much love for your f/o that you just get moved to literal tears or am i just a mess
#art is making me feel things once again#marigoldshipping#<---- mima brainrot hours which is terrible timing because i need to be awake in like six hours#but i am over here. kicking my legs in bed every five seconds#i love him so much he's a literal safety hazard akjjhdsh :(#he's also just a huge nerd and literally just a big loser but/lh#aaaa stopp making me FEEL THINGS it's horrible#i need to be sleeping and not generating tears because my heart goes crazy over fictional characters#literally smiling like an idiot just thinking about him while typing this#he's just. >_<#oh terrible another moment where i can't convey what i'm thinking#he's just... he's such a nerddd aaaaa#his snarkiness his obvious need to dramaticize things even though he *claims* that's a thing that only marik does now (he's lying)#his attempts at seeming much more stoic than he actually is his poorly hidden attempts at trying not to seem like he cares too much#how he can be so arrogant and sharp one second and try so hard to be responsible and gentle the next#how he tries to act like he isn't as much as a wreck as the rest of us but he definitely is#i don't. even know what i'm trying to say. i don't think i ever really do when it comes to any of them#they make me so stupidly incoherent i can't even think correctly right now#i just... i love how i've managed to get past his walls. that i get to see more of him now#not just the scary and daunting part that he used to be. not just the level headed and intimidating part. not just the upset and angry part#i get to see the sides of him where he makes dumb and ignorant mistakes. i get to see him when he's calm. i get to see him when he's happy#i get to see him when he's sad and i get to see him when he's completely vulnerable#i get to see him in every mood and in every emotion. i get to see every part.#and i love all the parts of him. all the mess and fuss and the wrongs and the rights and the good and the bad#all of it is completely lovable to me. he's completely lovable to me.#i just. aaaa sobbing crying sniffling into my hands HE'S SOOOO#god damnit melvin you're making your girlfriend cry STOP BEING SO YOU PLEASE#he's. so pretty and handsome and bbdbfhfbjdffjdfd#i've been talking about my f/os so much recently i'm so sorry ><#gonna. try and fall asleep but my heart is literally beating so hard right now skjfkjds
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Heaven is not fit to house a love like you and I
#zelda#the legend of zelda#legend of zelda#link#zelink#tloz#my art#hylink#hylia#first link#hozier once again making me feel things#that I just have to put in a drawing
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Based on my favorite gif lately
#my art stuff#digital art#baldurs gate 3#bg3#astarion#batstarion#once again specifying this is a spawn astarion with some sort of wild shape thing#bat#good morning#gif#I’ve been in such a weird place mentally about art lately#I just keep stopping myself from drawing things cus I want to draw Astarion -#- but fsr my brain decided I draw him wrong and thus makes it pointless to even start#bat form is fine - I have no problems with it. But in his normal form? no can do buckaroo.#It’s one part why I haven’t shared much art lately - I don’t get happy enough about the “quality”#then just don’t share it as a result - in turn making me feel worse because I’m not posting - making me doubt myself more - etc etc#idk man - I got way too giddy earlier today cus someone could tell this was Astarion - even though this isn’t even the version of him I -#- feel insecure about#I keep seeing these artists making more realistic art and cool comics and interactions - most of which are shaded really beautifully -#- and all I can think about is how I CAN’T do that - even if it wouldn’t fuck me up mentally#I just put too much stress on my ability to create realism and I keep “failing” at doing that (by actively avoiding it for my own health)#idk man - I just wish I felt better about Astarion’s stupid chin OTL
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Here you go fellow gays enjoy some tranquil scenery with the favorite fruity robot ever. Spend a late night chatting with him on a balcony as the laughter rings out in the air. Can’t quite get any better then this
#uhhhh yea sorry about the lack of talking here—I know it’s not every day I’m left with zero thoughts to elaborate on#but it’s 11:46pm and the right side of my head loves to make me suffer#like I can’t think straight despite being sober. Either it’s sleep deprivation once again or simply a developing migraine#no clue!! and I’m not going to stay awake a second longer to figure that one out!! 🙃#anyways yea kinda lean to the headcannon of Puzzle’s being bisexual#he’s talked about being a ‘damsel magnet’ or whatever and that could read as him being into the feminine qualities#however he’s clearly not conventional in that heteronormativity#he’s just too fruity to ever be contained. you couldn’t slap the strait label on him even if ya tried#it’ll just peel right off like those cheap banana stickers#which can only mean one thing—that man’s gay AND European!!#cue the rest of the musical number#….help I’m going to black out genuinely#I can’t even feel my hands at this point uhhhh#hplonesome art#smg4 mr. puzzles#mr. puzzles smg4
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oops all rock (springtime edition)
i’ll be able to draw digitally again soon! ;w; in the meantime i’ve been scribbling a lot on paper…
could not wait for Soon, so i resorted to coloring it using the markup tool in default iphone photos app (don’t do that ever again)
#my art#sos awl#debating whether to just dump my sketches from my soujourn to hell or save them to be transferred and finished as digital stuff#or like both idk. i don’t know how ppl feel about WIPs#i’m happy to post art again ;w; thank you everyone who welcomed me back i’m slowly getting through everything i missed while i was y’know#and thank you for the sweet messages while i was gone i am bbghkjh i need to calm myself and respond !!!! love#rock tumbling (sos)#story of seasons a wonderful life#bokumono#story of seasons#harvest moon#hm awl#harvest moon a wonderful life#bunny sighting 😳 i still have THOSE wips too#there’s certain things i wanna prioritize once i can use my tablet again and those are one of them#but i will also probably post new stuff alongside finishing old unfinished stuff….. i hope that is OK……#idk i’ll have to talk more later! right now i am nervous!!! i love you all!!!!#fanart#awl rock#bokujou monogatari#hm anwl#unfortunately this scum neet still has my entire heart so. most of the notebook is just him pulling goofy faces… sorry……..#also a lot of lumina and nami…. and molly…. they r really cool…#ceci is also cool and i’ve drawn a collage of her that i just. never posted#mostly drawing HMDS related stuff about the descendant characters#OK I’LL STOP TAGBLOGGING#i am once again back in DS for girl hell. i want to make a series of posts about differences in the English vs the Japanese version#and also fun secret things related to DS#this is all in the future i gotta finish all my unfinished stuff…. uuuu….#i love you all mmmmmwah (i cast sleepy time blanket and sleep forever)
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-“Você tem um longo caminho pela frente/You have a long way to go..”
Desenhos e “frases“ feitas por/Drawings and “phrases” made by: Melissa.
Obs/Note: Você é forte e você consegue, você só precisa descansar/You are strong and you can do it, you just need to rest.
Essa “comic” foi feita com o intuito de mostrar que tanto você não está sozinho, que você é especial, que importa, e que é normal se sentir cansado, só não deixe de viver... Não largue seus sonhos ou conquistas fora por causa desse “cansaço”.. Você ainda tem um longo caminho pela frente, você tem pessoas que te amam, ou “bichinhos” que te amam, então... Continue, uma hora vai passar e você vai ver que, esse “cansaço”, só foi uma dor daquelas muitas que você teve e já enfrentou.
This “comic” was made with the intention of showing that you are not alone, that you are special, that you matter, and that it is normal to feel tired, just don't stop living... Don't give up your dreams or achievements just because of this “tiredness”.. You still have a long way to go, you have people who love you, or “pets” that love you, so... Keep going, an hour will pass and you will see that, this “tiredness”, it was just one of the many pains you have had and faced.
Agradeço por chegar até aqui e.. Tenha um ótimo dia/I appreciate you getting this far and.. Have a great day💛
#I almost cried making this comic? yes. but I think it was worth it. I did it because once again I don't feel so good.#and reading and rereading this comic again makes me feel.. makes me feel like I still want to live...#and that I won't stop doing and enjoying the things I like just because of this “tiredness”. I know I can do it..#and I know you can do it too!💛#original comic#comicart#comic art#comic#vent#words of comfort#words of advice#comfort#you can do it#!#i'm mel and this is my blog✌️#my art blog#art#my art#my art <3#art mel#my art style#melissa designer#mel designer#a “thank you a lot” for everyone who has read this. you guys are amazing💛#mel talking portuguese
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Snapetober 2024 | Dream
I had a dream my life would be So different from this hell I'm living
#I didn't much like the last “dream” picture I did and then I stumbled upon Les Mis once again last night#this song makes me feel things i've never felt and honestly? so snape#originally was going to be snape as if he were singing it on a stage but once again i was drawn to the colour of blood on dark#pro snape#snape#professor snape#severus snape#snape fandom#pro severus snape#snape fanart#snaps-art#snapetober#snapetober 2024#cw gore#cw blood#snapedom
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I need SO BADLY to be medicated for anxiety, bro.. I should be able to do Labor without breaking a sweat over typing an email
#I should probably be shot with a gun#sergle.txt#here's the thing. the drawing is easy#making a draring. or a merch. an item.#that's not a problem#even the task of opening up a messaging thread to send FINISHED ART makes me break a sweat#I don't even wanna deliver art that I finished a week ago#once again. shot with a gun#anybody got a gun. anyone feel like shooting me with it. I'm accepting takers
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An AWS comic
#My art#For the record I am not a medical professional and as far as I know AWS isn't even something you can be diagnosed with???#It's so hard to describe what the two sensory hallucinations really *FEEL* like#Like the time one... You know how a dramatic slow motion scene looks like in an anime?#It's like that but if you made it a 60 fps interpolated version of it#It is an absolutely bizarre feeling#Meanwhile the hyper awareness and everything feeling intense feels like how a fisheye lens shot in an anime feels#No I could not be bothered to try to figure out how to draw that for this comic#For the record I haven't actually had those visual hallucinations since I was a small small child#Hell I don't even think I had any hallucinations in my teens at all like#The sensory ones just kinda started happening again in the past 7 years or so?#Also the swelling sensation I've only had once so far. Usually I get the hyper awareness sensation#(Also sometimes I get this intense feeling of swaying when I go to bed but that might not be an AWS thing??)#(Like there's other things that could make you feel like you're rocking on a boat when laying down so I didn't include that)#No I have never talked to anyone about these hallucinations because for the longest time I didn't know what they were#And they are like. Harmless. Like I'm 100% aware they're just strange sensations but not real at all#They last max 15 minutes if even that long and they happen like super rarely#Only once have I had the hyper awareness be SO INTENSE it made me feel distressed#So like. It doesn't really affect my life at all? So why bother with it?#Also IDK if I could even go to a doctor and ask about AWS and have them know what that even is#And even if I could as far as I know there is no treatment for it so like. Whatever#As long as I don't start having distressing hallucinations or visual hallucination's I'll be fiiiiiine
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💕Let's go on a date!💕
Screenshot to see which alluring outfit Law & Sanji will wear📸
Which one did you get? :D
(all outfits compiled under the cut)
#lawsan#opfanart#one piece fanart#trafalgar law#blackleg sanji#lawsanlaw#chibi art#woodenelafanart#coming at you with a gif again lol#I feel like I make one at least once a year#this was supposed to be for valentine's day but oh god#the scope of outfits just kept getting bigger and suddenly there were 20....#it was very fun though#ruffles and cute things on men make me so happy :)#flash warning#tw: flashing gif#flashing gif
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so it’s self portrait day huh?
#frabart#art#self portrait#ibispaintx#ibis paint art#iiiii really hate my art recently haha..#im once again having a bad day because things aren’t working again..#and i still haven’t made a post for mischief items :(((#i hate that i just feel like i don’t understand how to make commission posts..#they stress me out so so much i don’t know why
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me when time moves forward at a steady pace: how the fuck is it more than halfway through july already. this fuckers rapidly sprinting when im not looking huh
#i have so many things i need to do#before the semester starts again this fall#i need to work on comms. i need to work on a project due the end of the month. i want to do artfight. i want to make art for myself. i want#to do art studies. i want to start an alt drawing more suggestive stuff. i mean what who said that mustve been the wind#and thats just the things related to drawing.#i need to organize my room. i need to learn [redacted]. i want to cook more. i want to socialize more. i want to play games. i want to-#watch and read and listen to so many things#yet i have a finite amount of time to do everything#and half of a day is consumed by me just snoozing#and when i do work on something i feel like im Not Efficient Enough.#i cant just chill in vcs i need to be productive and draw too. and if i dont make significant progress then I Have Failed.#i cant just watch New Season of Show. thats Time Focused on One Singular Activity. gotta do multiple things at once or ill feel bad after#because i know that once the semester starts back up then im gonna be 90% less online#back to the depths of graphic design hell making infographics and powerpoints and brand identities#not having the time to draw anything furry or for myself for several months#anywho its 5am#i should go to sleep#sorry for the ramble im just. only now realizing how little time i have#when i wake up i have to really lock in on drawing and stuff#ive wasted so much time playing a game this past week#if i hadnt played it idve made so much more progress by now and im kicking myself so bad mentally now that im like mostly done w the game#gahhh#anywho yeah sorry for the ramble ill post more soon#sho.scramblin
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I made a lmk oc
#they’re supposed to be some sort of experiment to see if people could recreate Sun Wukongs stone egg. the goal was to make a more controlled#and tame version using carved wood and cultivation. but eventually they got worried about it becoming too powerful and scrapped it#eventually they come to life and live in the abandoned temple they were built in#their bottom half is made of wood because when they came to life their creator/s left them unfinished when they scrapped the project#they had to carve the rest of their body out of hunger and frustration because they couldn’t eat or move much by crawling on their top half#this is also why they spite their creators and hate irresponsible creation. because of abandonment issues and feeling like they have no#purpose or direction in life#their power is also very limited to due being man made since they were originally a wood carving#meo gave me the idea but one reason would be because they’re half finished. the sculpture was still half stump so it was completely untouche#that half can channel power in its raw form but the other half cannot once it’s been carved by man#so technically they could have the same level or potential for power as the stone but that was dampened#the other thing is how they were created to be a duplicate or recreation of a stone monkey and a celestial looked at that and was like#‘we’re not doing that again’ LMAO#i think the case of them carving their own legs doesn’t take away their power though. that balance was made#before they came to life so carving the legs or not can’t affect it anymore. like making a cake and slicing it#their energy levels are also naturally low because of that so their movements are sluggish and they aren’t very active overall#constantly lying in the sun to charge their batteries and get some stuff done. just like me fr#I actually don’t know what I’m gonna do with this character besides Put Them In Situations with other ppls ocs.. so if you have#a lmk oc you have been warned /lh /j#I wanna make some backstory art for them though.. maybe even the animatic treatment if I can get through dear wormwood which is 25#SECONDS OUT OF 3 MIN BTW#doodles#Lego Monkie kid#lmk#Monkie kid#lmk oc#monkie kid oc#myart#my art#xin ya
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this feels too large of images for such a little drawings but I do not know if i can change them lmao so tiny-kira and tiny-data are just gonna be taking up a lot of space
i started to try to digitize kira, got like 20 minutes into it, and then remembered that i hate just about every single step in digital art, so. i stopped. pencil doodle it is!
#fool's occasional doodling strikes again#ds9#tng#kira nerys#major kira#data#data soong#tbh i have a few other trek doodles sitting around right now but i feel a bit bad posting a bunch at once#i'm not really an artist after all (and don't really want to be) so posting like 8 at a time feels excessive y'know?#and since they're just pencil they are rather less visually appealing than things with. for example. color.#see the trouble is that i literally only enjoy the pencil sketch part of making art#i don't care for lineart or coloring (though both are Much Better on physical art than digital. digital art is not fun at all for me)#i JUST like to doodle.#oh well! it's just for funsies anyways#my art
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Sparkstember Day 28: The Sparks Brothers
I'm not a movie person... So when I do actually rewatch a movie (I mean, even watch it, at ALL, haha) it must really mean that something is up. I mean, well, it also IS a thorough, highly enjoyable and visually appealing movie about a band that I've been so incredibly invested in for the past several months. So maybe it's a surprise that I don't watch it more often actually. Because one beautiful side-effect of seeing it each time was getting an unexpected and very strong surge of motivation to keep on going towards the things that matter to me the most, despite any and all obstacles that could appear on the way. Another side-effect of it is being happy and joyfull and being filled with warm feelings and thoughts for the whole following day at least. Usually up to 3 days afterwards actually.
But ok, of course, what I'm getting at is that the Maels' story is so incredibly inspirational. Seeing how they persevered through all those years and NEVER lost their spirit or their vision, never gave up... is not only moving but also something that reminds me that wow, so much *really* is possible. I spent so many years fully convinced that there are things that I'll never be able to achieve. And sure, some of them are indeed pretty unlikely to happen. But if you told me from even one year ago that I'd be making art daily and not dreading being so much as perceived anywhere in the great world (so, including the internet)... well, I would have not believed it at all. I really mean it when I say that I used to believe that there are things that I'll just never be able to do. It's like it was simply not meant for me to be able do it and have those experiences. And yet...!
There's a lot I owe Sparks and this is one of the biggest things I'll always be grateful for. They really changed my life for the better. Truly nothing else before them reaches the same degree of how much it helped me. And well, I'm saying this on TSB day because this is where this feeling of gratitude and feeling SO lucky becomes the strongest. And the beautiful thing about it all is that they were always just themselves. They had their vision, they knew what they wanted to do and didn't care about how it would be received. Which is such an important and meaningful message to me, I can't even express how huge it is to me to see these two people who only really had themselves and their endurance and got exactly where they wanted to be.
Alright, some less grandiose observations now. Well, let's start with the fact that this was by no means my introduction to Sparks but it still really cemented my love for them even more. I loved being reminded of their whole journey and learning more about it, and even moreso I loved being able to see more of their beautiful brotherly bond and their wonderful personalities. Truly no other people in this whole world make me as happy as them currently. And the brothers' sense of humour hits super close to mine, so this is also a time filled with genuine laughs (I die laughing at the absolutely true Sparks facts at the end EVERY TIME). And since I'm a huge fan of animation and mixed media art and such things, this was simply a joy to view for my more artistically-inclined side too.
And damn, those two hours and 15 minutes really fly by so fast. When I have to arrange a huge timeslot to watch it all in one go, because that's the only way to do it for me, and then it feels like no time has passed anyway. And even with so much being said there, it feels like there's still so much more to get to. But it's still enough to lift my spirits completely for a pretty long time. And to make me cry a lot of the time too... Absolutely impossible to not shed a tear by the end of it all. It's moving, it's funny as heck, it's super fun and it's absolutely beautiful and truly lifechanging. 💖
#once again had no inspiration to write for hours. but at least i managed to finish it before midnight#(this was supposed to be short btw)#and anyway i guess that this is the point when i can't help but get even more personal than usual#but fuck it we post anyway. i wouldn't let myself just not post so far into the month#maybe someone else can relate or someone can also gain hope that yes there are goals that you really can reach actually#if you really want it you know. i know it's easy to think that it all sucks and leads you nowhere. that's how it USUALLY feels to me anyway#but there are at least those moments when i can finally realize that man i've come so far#like. for real. it's true. i actually did the thing!!!!! you know#but uh well. not entirely happy with this post as usual but this is the best i could come up with today#well it's such a good thing that i can actually think and talk about sparks literally always#so this doesn't have to be some kind of final statement about it all from me. yay!#and yeah as i said the maels' bond is very touching to me so i had to highligh it a bit today#so have some good-spirited big brother bullying lol. and wow making it look like an old photograph was actually not that hard#but the poses WERE a struggle to get right i'll admit#and now just to find something more in me to say still on latte day and on the final day...#sparkstember 2024#my art#goose monologues
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i feel like reading/watching mbf immediately means knowing who i am as a person and... i cannot allow this
#you all know that i can't stand gatekeeping and how that's why i bring up what i like all the time in various contexts#but the surprising thing with mbf for me is that i can't talk about it as freely to people who don't know me#because i can't find a way to translate it without having to offer some crucial segment of myself#i enjoy sharing ideas and thoughts more than anything else but i don't like sharing me the person behind them#because i really cherish my individuality as something important in spite of where it takes me sometimes#i don't want to tarnish it!!!! i don't want even the smallest piece of it to be missing because i wouldn't know what to do anymore#i'll stick to typing out thoughts here and to my mom and to my med textbooks#but i must say it feels strangely refreshing to have something that is only my own this way because i always have to put myself out there#and this way i am not giving anyone the opportunity to twist it into something terrible about me#my spontaneous outbursts might ruin this for me though#letters from stephanie*#i dislike that i can't step outside of my own experiences with this like i usually do because art should be shared#this is suchhh a crazy person post#i think i finally get what my dad means when we fight about how i shouldn't say everything i think all the time#he doesn't want me to filter myself he wants me to preserve who i am from harm because stepping up sometimes won't help#who i'm trying to help but it will ruin me in some way even if it just makes me upset#i think that's how he manages to be calm without betraying himself?#he isn't lying he's just saying what he thinks when it matters and to those that matter#like most of the time i am right to single myself out but there is a particular shade of grey when i shouldn't do it#idk this is literally donna telling the dr YOU CAN STOP NOW.#realistically i just need someone to calm me down when my passions turn against me#overly personal post once again i am sooo sorryyyy look away
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