#Also IDK if I could even go to a doctor and ask about AWS and have them know what that even is

[artkaninchenbau]

An AWS comic

[dazais-guardian-angel]

went to my first con in 4 years on Friday to meet Kaiji Tang and got a Dazai autograph + video recording of him reading to me. He was the sweetest person (as I knew he would be) and interacting with him was lovely, but also at the same time oh boy it sure was an extremely stressful, ugly wake-up call of what it feels like to live in a world now where everyone around you has blissfully moved on from covid and can enjoy things normally and happily, while you'll forever be trapped in a hellscape of perpetual fear 🫠🫠🫠

[girlishwhimsies]

Hey there! First I just wanna say that I'm a new follower and that I love your blog, especially CherryCola. I was wondering (idk if anyone has asked) if you could please write something about the day baby CherryCola was born and the first time the gang meets her. Thanks and please keep doing what you're doing because your blog is awesome!

idk if you mean like write a fic or just yap but i have too many wip so you’ll just get a yap i fear. ALSO IM SO GLAD YOU ENJOY MY BLOG AHHH i love all of these new people i get to yap with <3

that day would be an absolute mess i fear 😭💀 first of all kat would have been an early baby, probably a few weeks before cherrys due date so they are all immediately panicking this was NOT the plan.

soda and cherry would be oddly calm like they are just chilling on their way to the hospital (cherry was at the curtis house when her water broke and called soda asap then the doctor and he picked her up and then they head the hospital, all ready and excited yknow. although soda would be PISSED he isn’t allowed to be in the room

meanwhile the gang is FREAKING OUT they were NOT ready and all rush to the hospital as soon as they find out, worrying they are gonna miss it or that something is gonna go wrong, etc etc. they would all show up out of breath and asking to see cherry (marcia would also tag along but she drives herself and is much for orderly)

i feel like girl would be there for a while so kat woudnt even be born until the next morning and girl is tinyyyyyyy. soda would absolutely cry when he gets to hold her for the first time and even cherry would be tearing up. they’d just be so so so excited to finally meet her 🥹 they would be chatty cathy’s too like just yapping to her constantly. 

THE GANGS REACTIONS MY LOVE!!! they would have been waiting a while to get called in and be so hype when they get to do in. dally would refuse to hold her but smile at her when he thinks no one is looking. steve probably just stares at her and is so stressed when he holds her for the first time like what if he accidentally drops her. two-bit would be so fucking excited dude would be bouncing her already (with proper neck support tho) and giving her a nickname and everything. ace would be so in awe that that’s her friends baby johnny would be shocked they ask him to hold her tbh 😭 he’d be so so so gentle with her tho, making sure to hold her right and everything. pony would immediately say some comment about how she looks stupid and soda would smack him upside the head. darry would be too nervous to hold her but would hug soda and tell him how proud he is of soda would stepping up and being a father 

[gay-dorito-dust]

I know it’s a long task but what about an Adam warlock x you fic that’s a slow burn? Like it’s not immediately obvious that the two like each other.

Might not be what you wanted but I might have to make multiple parts for this but idk. I didn’t want to draw this out too much as I have a tendency of doing so. This could be considered a chapter 1 or a prologue at the very least. 🦦🦝

When you first met Adam Warlock it was when you offered to share your apartment with him temporarily until the reparations to the town, alongside the additional housing for the newcomers of Knowhere were finished. Now at the time you didn’t know what compelled you into offering up your apartment, but you could only assume that you wanted to be a Good Samaritan; seeing as how you couldn’t stand seeing him look so lost and all on his lonesome, swaddled in that insulation blanket of his.

‘He looks and acts like a newborn dawn struggling to find their legs in a life that doesn’t make sense, he needs a helping hand.’ Was what you said when further asked and whilst it was the truth, it was also something you used in hopes that it would put an end to any potential questioning later down the line; After all it wasn’t like you were taking advantage of him, the poor lad didn’t have anywhere to go nor belong to without someone having to tell him where he was supposed to be.

‘Come on Adam, we’re going home.’ You told him and he looked at you with furrowed brows.

‘Home?’ He repeats.

‘Yes, home.’ You replied, holding out a hand out to him, smiling once his hand gripped yours in wordless agreement to return with you.

So needless to say when you brought Adam back home, he was just as lost within this new location then he was before, his golden eyes darting from one corner of your apartment to another with awe and curiosity towards everything that seemed remotely new to him because it was; It seemed to you in that moment that Adam most likely never had the chance to stop and take a breather, which quite frankly made you feel even more sad for the golden being.

‘Nothings going to harm you here Adam.’ You told him when you found him cautiously looking at the vast amount of trinkets you had displayed across multiple surfaces throughout your living room. ‘I’m aware.’ Adam responded shortly. ‘I’m merely curious as to what theses things are.’ He trailed off as he leaned from the waist and made it so his eyes were level with the little fake succulent before reaching a hand out to poke it’s hard plastic leaves, jolting back like a frightened cat as he stared at the finger he touched the plant with; internally wondering why that leaf felt the way it did.

‘Y/n I believe there maybe something wrong with your plant.’ Adam told you. ‘Quick, we must get it to a doctor before it surbcomes to it’s illness.’ Just as he was about to pick up the fake succulent, you grasped his wrist, stopping him in his tracks which only proved to cause confusion within Adam as he looked at you with a look. ‘Why are you stopping me from helping your succulent, if we postpone it’s treatment it could die.’

‘It’s fake.’ You said, ‘the succulent is fake Adam, it’s meant to be like that as it’s made out of a hardened form of plastic so the buyer doesn’t have to provide care for the actual thing it’s based on.’ Adam’s brows furrow deeper. ‘Why would anyone do that, it just sounds like a lazy method as to get out of holding responsibility over something. If you’re not going to take care of the actual succulent, why settle for a fake one?’ He finishes and you shrugged, ‘mainly for decoration, it fills in the empty space when you don’t know what to do with it.’

‘I…don’t think I understand.’ The golden male said, really trying to understand the logic behind it but only to find it all the more confusing. Surely there has to be other decorative pieces that could’ve been chosen instead of a fake placeholder of a succulent you were never going to care for in the first place. ‘It’s okay if you don’t understand, just try not to think so hard on certain things because the reasonings to why aren’t always that deeply convoluted.’ You informed him, gently tugging him away from the fake succulent before he decided to do anything else to it.

‘What’s this?’ Adam then asks as his attention was brought towards an old blue teddy bear with a equally blue bow tie sat upon shelf, causing the breath in your throat to hitch and your blood to run cold, before he could touch it, you were quick to snatch it off the shelf and hold it firmly against your chest, shielding it away from Adam by presenting him him your back. Taken aback by your sudden movements Adam backed away, being fully aware of the tell tell signs of hostility, he knew he had crossed a boundary by bringing attention to the blue bear and upon your reaction, this wasn’t just some blue teddy bear that you kept on a shelf.

You put it there for a reason.

A reason he wasn’t privy to knowing.

Realising what you had done and looking upon Adam’s face, you apologised, ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t know what came over me just then but this bear holds sentimental value and I’d prefer it if you don’t touch him.’ You said as you put the bear back onto the shelf in it’s precious positioning. ‘No, I should be the one apologising y/n. It’s clear that I’ve overstepped a boundary and will make certain that I won’t do it again.’ Adam reassures you, ‘but if I may ask, what’s the history behind this blue bear?’ The question shouldn’t have struck as deep as it did but you found it to be an hard question to answer as you felt a tightness in your throat that made swallowing a difficulty and your hands clam up at your sides. You weren’t ready.

‘All you need to know is that it’s a gift with deep sentimental value and that I treasure it greatly. Now let me show you where your going to sleep tonight.’ was all you said in response and Adam took that as the end of that conversation and decided it best not to pry any further and followed after you.

[doberbutts]

hey so feel free to delete this if its inappropriate/not the right time to share it

i’m a trans woman and (obviously) i can’t get pregnant, but i did get sexually assaulted by some guys trying to show was one of them. and also having an m marker has caused issues with trying to access resources and shit.

idk this isnt the same thing and all but my point is that im standing with u as some random trans woman with vaguely parallel experiences and im sorry to hear its somehow even worse & more likely for some of yall.

I wanr to preface this with a disclaimer, to get things out of the way first.

I am not trying to say that trans women do not experience devastating sexual assaults. They do. Quite often. Though to me, even once is too often. Rape and sexual assault are terrible, awful things. It's horrible that anyone has been made to go through this.

Nor am I trying to say that your M marker doesn't get in the way of things. When it comes to the domestic violence you experience, or the homelessness rates, or a determination of what prison you go to (esp since y'all are more likely to be wrongfully accused and arrested), or the various aspects of your own reproducive healthcare, your agab and gender marker is absolutely used as a weapon against you.

The question was asked for a unique example. Unfortunately, the conversation around reproductive rights is much different for me than it is for you. But it's also much different for me than for cis women and cis men as well. Those without a functional uterus cannot get pregnant. Those who cannot get pregnant are not forcibly married off to be raped until pregnant as a means of detransition and correction. This misogyny we share with cis women.

However an added aspect of that is that if this happens after we've changed our legal documents, an additional layer of transphobia occurs when insurances and doctors see our M or X markers and deny us care out of hand. Now we are stuck with a pregnancy we don't want and constant reminder of what happened to us, or a huge medical bill with devastating financial consequences.

And that's just for those who got out safety- for those who rely on shelters, again the choice becomes detransition for safety at a woman's shelter, or struggle in silence as a man. That, we share with you, though for different reasons.

A unique interection of transphobia and misogyny specifically experienced by trans men was asked for. That is what I provided. Much like how in Crenshaw's essays one could not provide a complete understanding of "because woman" or "because black" because neither would show the full picture of "because black woman", it is not possible to describe this fully as "because trans " or "because man" because the complete "because trans man" must be provided.

I am of the opinion that there is very little "unique" about oppression- mostly that the various points of intersection change its face. In other words, I think trans men share a lot with trans women, and I don't think that's a bad thing. I also think that doesn't disclude something from earning its own name or having its own place to be talked about.

I have hesitated to post those statistics because they can so easily be twisted to say "trans women don't experience these things" or "trans men have it worse". But, a look at the graphs say the first isn't true, it just happens at a statistically less rate. The second, well, I personally don't think it's useful to quantify who has it worse. I once was in that mindset, apologizing to my mentor (an older trans woman) for complaining about my problems because obviously she had it so much worse.

She told me she doesn't like to think about it like that. For her, she would rather be raped than killed. For me, I would rather be killed than raped. Who has it "worse" depends entirely on perspective. Murder and rape are both terrible crimes to be a victim of. Rather than weighing this violence in a scale, more effort should be put into stopping it from happening in the first place. I think she was very wise. I'm lucky to have known her.

I'm sorry that happened to you. I would like to reach across the table and take your hand, to walk forward into the future together. I think we are stronger when united in this world that hates us. You are my sister. We may fight like siblings, but you're still family.

[wundergeek]

Honestly, it is absolutely wild the level of absolutely no health care that trans people, and especially trans mascs have to suffer through.

What do I mean by this? Glad you asked.

* When I came out as trans at the start of the pandemic, I went to my doctor and asked for a referral for help. She responded by saying she didn't know what trans meant. Then did not offer to learn or educate herself in any way. I ended up paying $9000 out of pocket for my top surgery because public funding required a referral from a GP, and there was no way to get a new doctor in 2020.

* I have educated multiple DOCTORS about non-binary pronouns. Ditto with therapists

* Trans masc and experiencing perimenopause? Have fun never getting any medical care about literally debilitating symptoms. I didn't realize I'd had brain fog for TWO AND A HALF YEARS until T made it go away.

* Related: I have a fibroid apparently and it took like a year to get a referral to a trans inclusive gyno - who is 40 minutes away by car - who I don't see for another two weeks.

* Also, none of the T side effects I'm having problems with were things I was warned about. Instead it was all "this will impact your fertility" (good!), and lots of vague euphemisms like "bottom growth", which didn't in any way prepare me for the three days I spent sitting on ice packs when bottom growth started. A warning about 7/10 nerve pain would have been nice.

* Similarly, no one told me that "bottom growth" not only includes clitoral enlargement, but also the vulva becomes more scrotum-like. Which. Great! I have bottom dysphoria, so that's helpful. But again, 7/10 nerve pain accompanied by "holy shit why does my junk look so different all of a sudden????" is something I would have appreciated knowing to expect.

* The two pages of drug information I was given with my first vial of T didn't even MENTION THE EXISTENCE of trans masc people. Not even ONCE.

* I've been training kung fu really intensely for several years and have put on approximately 10 pounds of muscle in 8 weeks, which is causing ALL KINDS OF PROBLEMS. Iron deficiency. B12 deficiency. It's been awful. But T is "supposed" to make your iron go up, so I'm having to do a lot of tests and run around to prove to my doctor that the problem is that I accidentally got jacked too quickly so she'll let me have some goddamn B12 injections, and in the mean time I'll have to put up with fatigue and excruciating muscle cramps during my kung Fu classes for at least another three weeks.

* Even just figuring out where to get my goddamn injection supplies has been a fucking saga. The pharmacy that initially filled the prescription was like "get supplies from [local nonprofit that supports AIDS and injection drug users]". Helping trans mascs the pharmacy is too lazy to help is NOT their mission, but they kindly gave me some supplies after I drove across town to see them. Then my regular pharmacy gave me a sharps container (the first pharmacy just fucking sent me home with some needles and didn't say anything about disposal!!!), so I figured I could get some there, but this morning they were like "we don't stock those, call around I guess idk". I had to call my doctor, then go back to the first pharmacy, and buy five weeks for way too much money while I order supplies online.

(Realistically I should have just done that first, but I've never had to do injections and idk just foolishly thought that pharmacies would serve that need? Stupid, I know.)

So yeah. Honestly I'm just so fucking done with this fucking ignorance. It takes EFFORT to be this clueless about how to provide basic fucking health care in 2024, so why can't the majority of care providers clear a bar that is already on the fucking floor???

[jediwizard]

Hiiii I was wondering what your top 5 series are because I'm bored and I don't wanna do schoolwork so I'm gonna distract myself with screens

thanks for asking

my ultimate comfort show is friends. I've seen every episode a billion times, but it still makes me laugh and I still feel like I'm watching it for the first time. it's nostalgic and it just feels like home. I would like if there was more diversity tho..

i love how I met your mother (except for that awful ending). its so comforting and the show discusses real problems that young adults face like unemployment, divorce, infertility, losing a parent etc. characters go through real problems that real people face.

heartstopper obviously. again, I feel like I'm mentioning a lot of comfort shows rather than genuinly good shows but heartstopper is just.. so perfect. it is a bit cringe at times but teenagers are actually like that. everyone in that friend group is so loyal and kind and there's no drama and overall toxicness you'd find in most netflix shows like riverdale, elite etc. and I feel like this is one of the first shows I've seen with good queer representation. the paris squad remind me a lot of my friends and I, and we actually watched the show together. and we're gonna binge all of s3 and then talk about it (it's gotten to be a bit of a tradition)

id like to say that I love the owl house, even though I've never officially seen it. I've watched a lot of clips of it on YouTube and I know what happens and whenever I feel stressed or overwhelmed with school work, I'd watch like a 40 minute video of lumity. and I also relate to luz noceda on a personal level. I found out about this show only last year, when it was on it's final season and I was 16. I wish my 12 year old self watched it, because she would have LOVED the owl house and found comfort in this show. watching the owl house at 16 and 17 for the first time shocked me because I felt like my 11 and 12 year old self had come to life (and btw we even look really similar so there's that..). I just started watching Hilda and it's a lot like the owl house and Hilda reminds me of myself too, so idk. they're both really great shows

and lastly i'd probably have to go with stranger things. I love the gravity falls-dark suburban-fall vibe the first two seasons had. season three was really fun, but I didn't like the fourth that much. I also hate how it takes so long for each season to come out. again, I related to robin a lot and I love to play DND with some of my new friends. I started watching stranger things when I was around 11 with my old friends and I remember collaborating on pinterst boards and stuff, so that was fun. i'm going to watch the last season with them too.

ive seen a bunch of episodes of doctor who and some clips on YouTube and I love that. I need to properly sit down and watch Dr. who

superwholock in general is great, but I don't really feel like mentioning spn and Sherlock because of all the queerbating and homophobia surrounding the shows. (sherlock's amazing though)

i should also probably mention derry girls. this show is literally a love letter to the 90s. I guess anyone who grew up in a middle class housegold in the county could relate to this (my mom definitely does). like heartstopper, it's one of those shows that portray teenagers as they are. Heartstopper deals with mental health and self harming, while derry girls is a lot lighter. the characters are so quirky and loveable. and while I was born in 2007, it feels really nostalgic. and it has one of the best soundtracks I've seen in a show. (the best 90s indie like sixpence none the richer and the cranberries so yay)

i know you asked for five, but one day at a time is SUCH an amazing show too. it's about a latina family (grandma, mom, daughter and son) and it's so funny and really informative and just an overall fun family sitcom, but it doesn't shy away from dealing with important issues like racism, immigrant families, growing up in a three generational household, raising a teenager daughter who's a lesbian, being a military nurse and the trauma you have to deal with afterwards etc. elena is a lesbian and she's so nerdy and I just love her so much <333

lastly, probably gilmore girls. it becomes shit after about season 4 and you'll get annoyed by the characters but the first few seasons are really good. it's really cozy and I feel like all the shows that I've mentioned have a similar theme (cozy, autumnal type stuff) and this list wouldn't be complete without gilmore girls.

anyway, that's it. peace out

[whentherewerebicycles]

went to the woods at sunset last night with my mom and did a hard sad little ritual of closure that hurt me a lot but also felt like painfully needed closure. we both cried so much I feel dehydrated still but it was good and I’m so glad I asked my mom to come instead of doing it alone like I originally thought I wanted to. I was afraid I’d feel embarrassed and stupid with someone else watching but I just felt so deeply loved and held. then I came home and wrote about it for a long time and read this book on pregnancy loss until late. the book is making me cry too but in a good meaningful way. I feel like the most important thing it’s given me is a clearer understanding of how almost every part of the loss was made more acutely distressing and difficult to grieve by the way doctors and techs talked to me and about me with each other in my presence. my surgical team was good and took the time to say they were sorry this was happening to me but leading up to that there was just so much casual thoughtless cruelty that I’m sure no one intended to be cruel but made me feel so, so bad and empty and alone, like I wasn’t even a person. like I will never for as long as I live forget the feeling of being hunched over in the table in the dark undressed from the waist down with tears streaming down my face under my mask right after the radiologist confirmed the diagnosis, and then the tech turning to put something away and telling me in the brightest, most excited voice that in ten years of doing ultrasounds she’d “never seen a live one before!”, which was how I learned that the baby had a heartbeat. but then I will also never in my entire life forget the other ultrasound tech, who was the one person in that entire awful prolonged experience who called it the little baby instead of the adnexal mass or the ectopic and who asked me if I wanted to see it and then sat with me in silence for a long, long time so I could look at the screen for as long as I needed to. I really deeply get that this is politically complicated territory where as a medical professional you don’t want to assume that the pregnancy was planned/wanted or that someone is experiencing the loss as a loss or that the person feels like the baby was a baby, but as my sister pointed out, everyone involved knew that I had gotten pregnant after multiple cycles of IUI and no one does that unless it’s a badly wanted pregnancy. idk the book has all these quotes from other women where they describe things I also heard doctors saying to/about me and they share how small or alone it made them feel and it’s just making me feel this weirdly intense sense of relief like oh ok I get it. this was always going to be hard and fraught and sad but if people had been just a little more sensitive or careful with their words or attuned to me as a suffering human being it could have been clean grief from the start instead of grief all twisted up in shame and embarrassment and feeling like I wasn’t even supposed to feel sad.

there isn’t a silver lining to all of this, it’s just a hard sad thing that happened to me and that I am finding a way to live with. but during that second awful ultrasound, the one that made me feel so empty and lonely, I remember lying on the table staring up at the ceiling just thinking and praying that if this thing had to happen to me that it would lead me towards deeper compassion, that it would in time make me a gentler, more caring, more open person instead of someone all locked up inside with shame and grief. and I think that in time it will. I feel like at the very least I can be a better friend to the people I love if something like this happens to them. the book talks about how for many people it can be healing to reflect on the positive ways even a brief pregnancy changed you and to think of that as a gift or a legacy that the pregnancy left you with—not like the changes are a consolation prize but just like, it can be very healing to infuse your loss with a deeper sense of purpose and meaning so it feels like it was real and it mattered and it changed you. it was real and it mattered and it changed me. and that is something I will carry with me.

anyway those are just some things I am thinking about this morning. long road long road but I am walking it.

[snzluv3r]

Hi! I know this is so random, sorry, but I saw on one of your posts that you’re allergic to contrast and I’ve never known of anyone else who is 😭 it’s happened to me twice and the last time the healthcare workers didn’t believe me even as they watched me have the reaction 🫠 I was wondering if you would mind sharing how you figured it out, or got the doctors to believe you, or just any resources, because I was told it’s incredibly rare and haven’t been able to find much information on reactions to contrast 🙁

I hope this is ok to ask and not triggering… sending spoons! ❤️

firstly i just wanted to say you’re so sweet for worrying about if it’s triggering for me, that’s really lovely of you 🥺 i promise i’m fine and it’s not even remotely a sore spot for me, so ask away! secondly, i’m so fucking sorry you’ve had such a hard time with being believed, that’s fucking ridiculous!!!

i totally get people telling you it’s “rare” (though personally i don’t believe it is lol) because my reaction to contrast is also a delayed one, so it doesn’t even happen in front of healthcare workers unless i’m hospitalized. i was lycky in that my reaction was extremely visible and i was covered in a full body drug rash about 12-24 hours (i can’t really remember which at the moment) after i got contrast for a CTA, so when i went to urgent care they could easily see the reaction. my oxygen was also low and my bp dropped, and i happened to be with my ex at the time so she saw me breaking out in the rash and then getting sick as well :/

honestly, my best advice for right now is to just fake it til you make it. next time you’re in a situation where you might need contrast, i would just tell them right off the bat that you’re allergic and have had serious reactions in the past. they’ll probably ask you what you mean by reaction and what symptoms you have, and they might be a little invalidating if you can’t go as far as to say your throat swelled shut, but if you tell them and they ignore it that’s on them. so i feel like they’re more likely to take it seriously? idk. you know your body and you know you’re allergic, and it sucks not having that validation from the doctors but you deserve to look out for yourself first and foremost, even if it means “lying” by saying you have an allergy that you aren’t technically or officially diagnosed with

best of luck to you anon, sending you all the spoons right back <333 let me know if that was confusing i rambled a lot

edit: also after my reaction when i went to urgent care, they prescribed me steroids because the reaction was recurring/continuing due to that fact that i didn’t have anything to treat it with besides benadryl, and the steroids helped a lot. though admittedly i didn’t finish the course or even close to it because steroids make me feel awful and Insane

[somecunttookmyurl]

So it’s not the same thing at all but I am also currently dealing with a ridiculous medicine-and-bureaucracy problem and I have no idea what I’m gonna do about it, so I feel your pain.

I got laid off in May and I just started a new job, but the benefits haven’t kicked in yet and won’t for a few weeks. I’m not clear on the exact date because I technically didn’t work full-time hours for the first two weeks during training and the offer letter has kind of vague wording about that. Meanwhile, my prescription for birth control needs to be renewed and I can’t go to my doctor because I’m currently on Medicaid, the awful government insurance that covers nothing, and fsr my doctor’s office doesn’t take it even though just last year their website specifically said they DO and I picked them out specifically because it said that (my bf has had Medicaid for years and I wanted us to have the option to go to the same place, that’s why I know this even though I had better insurance at the time). But I couldn’t find that page and I messaged her office to confirm and they basically admitted it had been a lie.

Anyway I really really like my new doctor and I don’t want to make my appt anywhere else. I spent so long picking out a doctor last year and it was the first time I was actually able to do that myself instead of one being assigned to me in one way or another.

But I only have enough pills for the next three weeks and I just KNOW even if I do get onto the new insurance before I run out, there’s no way it will be processed in time for me to actually make an appt and then pick up the prescription. (I can’t even BOOK the appt without proof of insurance.)

(I think I recently heard something or other about a new OTC birth control pill, and I haven’t looked into it yet but I’m not sure if it’s even available yet or sold near me if so. But even if it is, idk how to tell if it’s similar enough to mine that I can just switch over to it for a month with no problems. I would just ASK MY DOCTOR, but this is America and I can’t even do THAT without the right insurance.)

In THEORY I could go a month without and just be super careful, but I have no idea if that’s safe or what effects it could have or if I’d need to time it a certain way when I started up again.

Universal health care NOW.

girl i have universal healthcare and bureaucracy still finds a way to fuck with me none of us are safe

but if you're wondering it's perfectly fine to start and stop the birth control pill whenever you like. you just won't be protected from pregnancy until you take it for 7 consecutive days again

if you start it right at the beginning of your cycle it's 5 days but any other time it's 7 so really it doesn't matter just start it whenever and give it a week

(if you just happen to randomly miss a day then you should equally be careful for the next 2-3 days just like in general. psa for anyone who didn't know)

[gen4grl]

Wheeze, here we are at long last before I have to go into College/Life lockdown again. You won't believe how much can happen in a month and the huge projects that lie ahead, but anyways! - It's cool how you have a PHD in Silver Handling. The closest acronym I could get for that was calling it a Psy.D (precarious Silver yeeting doctorate LOL) anyways you're so right, good analytic potential AND its interesting that it's him being Giovanni's son that you point out. I like that bit too, and I'd love to hear what about it makes it so dope to you :D - Twitter is the trenches </3 glad you like it here more :3 tumblr is THE place for neurodivergent folks like us and HARD AGREE on reading game dialogue. its my favorite lore hunting technique. I cannot fight Gyms until every inch of that city has been explored. - Literally bouncing up at down at the mental imagery of Leaf sitting at a blocky computer with Bill. I can just vaguellyyyy reach out to that era through memory, of idk, images, did I ever see them in person? in dreams? all I know is that even in the early 20s the age of dial-up phones wasn't instantly forgotten. maybe at someone's house. but there is SO much 90s to project there and it can be so enjoyable. nostalgia + growing up + that one era that is more romanticized in retro aesthetic and the social culture bc that's how the neighbors eldest daughters grew up and how do we, in modern times, achieve that? - if it's controversial, nobody's yapping about it when it comes to other characters lol. Leaf is pretty consistent if you keep an open mind so taking from other media 100% makes sense. I do it too :P oooh Silver and Leaf meeting on 5 island I love that!! aw man, with the Rocket base and that Scientist I'm just full of giggling here. Pff, Archer is going to get his butt kicked by the boss's son's friend HA tfw the same kids you see running around take down TR - oh I like how you bring the environment and economy into it, solid reasoning for moving + Pallet connects to the ocean that leads to Cinnabar, no? but yeah :D great customer base, little homey place but close to Viridian and the Indigo Plateau as well, plenty of people stopping by! omg Leaf coming from the hair sprouts 😭 oh that's clever I like it! - really enamored with the Bill + Leaf aspects of your story, it's just really speaking to some deep corner of my soul's memory. im so stoked somebody else likes this haha my Leaf is a bit more politically motivated (at least in one universe lol, bc it's the anime which is an utter disaster and she wants to be Champion to clean house and heal the economy) but also someone oughta do something bc Lance is working like 5 different jobs 😭 also, I can imagine with most of your HCs centered around character relationships they might feel like a hard sell compared to cold facts and I 100% feel you. so much of my fic is just character dynamics nobody else would get it LOL. but I'm honored you have so much you'd want to yap about it. fully encourage and love yapisodes - I looked at your Silver post and you said it's only if you're playing as Red but good news, Scientist Gideon STILL asks that if you play as Leaf. He says "Giovanni's kid" not his son :D - at the time you asked that, I was writing 6.1k of a chapter for another fandom, but lately I've had Leaf on the brain again and rlly want to get a solid outline for that series going. <-- the kind of yapping better suited for DMs lol. yess, love seeing how the Pokemon world is connected in media. utterly obsessed with Gen/Evo Specials, you can imagine the cheering when Silver's episode dropped 7 years ago he's so <3 <3 <3 if you like Silver + Leaf sibs then you feel like someone I can smuggle into Dad Lance city that doesn't leave her out, but hey. oldest daughter problems maybe if we incorporate the tendency to focus on Kris/Lyra/Ethan and thanks to Masters, LILLIE?!?!? <-- understand Johto kids but LILLIE???? and every time I see Lance with Red/Blue I'm like "aight, so I gotta fill this vacancy myself"

helllloooo first of all i want to say sorry for taking so long to get to this😭 my last couple months have been a mess and i’ve been dealing with annoying health issues (in every way). i apologise if this reply isn’t as long or thorough as usual🤧

i think what i like about the silver giovanni connection so much is how well it connects johto + kanto story wise. johto to me is still a very undeveloped and lowkey forgotten region unfortunately but silvers character is easily the shining part of the region. i also think it’s cool how he’s also connected to red (or leaf) due to the whole reason giovanni abandoning him being because of red/leaf’s defeat of team rocket, ultimately crushing his ego lol - just one big butterfly effect that i thoroughly enjoy :p and as stated in my post, i like despite how hard he tried not to be, silver was quite similar to his dad until the events of the the johto story. seeing his growth makes me so happy 🤧🤧🤧✨

lmao talking of reading game dialogue … the offical pokemon twitter account made this post for fathers day (i think…? my fathers day isn’t till september 🤷🏻‍♀️)

and the amount of people in the comments literally suprised gave me a stroke like??? lacey being clays daughter is explicitly stated LOL pokemon fans never cease to amaze me 😭😭😭

you’ve really got me thinking about kantrio in the 90s now LOL. i can see them all tryna message eachother on some aol type site and someone’s dial up cutting totally ruining their convos - most likely blue cause daisy wants to talk on the phone to bill or something … hmmm… ideas are brewing!!!! actually to sound old my family had dial up till 2009… insane😭😭 i used to get so mad at my mumma using the phone cause i just wanted to play club penguin LOL - oh and thx u for the compliment on the leaf + bill dynamic <3 bill is one of those random ass side characters that still is so iconic … i have so many hc’s for him too LOL no character can escape my headcanons

oh and i am the minister at the dad lance church!!! i’ve always seen him as not just a mentor to silver but the other johto kids and definitely the kanto trio before they grew up - that saying i still think as adults they turn to him alot since … half of them don’t have dads (both in canon and my hc LOL). i think as adults, the kantrio definitely have a more friend based relationship with him but as kids he definitely helped them through the spotlight that was put on them at such a young age.

ehghhh i very much apologise for this reply, my brain feels very disconnected from my body today and i feel like this hot mess of a reply shows LOL. again, i really apologise for the late reply. i wish you the best of luck with ur studies and writing ✨✨✨🩷🩷🩷

[anauro]

Hi roc! Remember when i sent you that super long ask about regulus? And how his ignorance towards some of james' needs when he gets pushy about his textbook knowledge and limited experience was super realistic? Or how evem as a healthcare professional, he still couldn't quite help but judge james?

Yeah, i reread dass again and it never fails to get me good. Like him trying to substitute james' craving with paracetamol (lol) and having james get anesthesia that he was already told might not work properly for him. How it just feels like regulus never really got to understand how awful withdrawal is.

Yo, life really be like that. Doctors really be like that too. And it seemed like you were intentional with it -- i lov u so much for that ☕💛. I think you were really honest about it.

I wanted to ask if we'll ever get to see him go back on some of these stuff, or if he gradually gets to understand/learn about addiction -- how it's like, the care addicts need, treatment unique to them, and just offer care on a more nuanced basis from his experience with the marauders.

Hi babe! 🫶🏼🫶🏼

Yes ofc I remember, how could I ever forget!

I think with the paracetamol Regulus actually did want to help in only way he could, rather than dismissing James per se. But also he really did not like him at all back then, knew how uncomfortable James was and didn’t really care beyond his job-related empathy level. Idk, maybe he even felt a bit happy James felt so rubbish? He’d never admit it to himself tho. I think we can partially understand why he felt this way, because after all James was nothing much but a stranger, far from ideal roommate and was invading Regulus’ personal space, making him uneasy in his own flat. We as readers know James is amazing, Regulus didn’t and could have just left James to suffer without offering the little help he could give.

Now with the anaesthesia it’s a slightly different story. I originally planned for Regulus to be right and wanted to show how the dentist treated James worse when he found out he’s an addict. And then Regulus getting defensive cause ain’t nobody treating his Jamie this way. It was only when I did further research that I learnt the dentist was actually right lmao. So I decided to change the story a bit, keeping Regulus’ initial intentions the same (he really just wanted James to be pain free as soon as possible), but making the outcome different… just to show how horrible patients doctors are and a bit of the cliche “oh, I’m a doctor, I’m a god, I can’t ever be wrong”.

As to your question, yes and no. Regulus will ultimately learn all that jazz, but he will get things very wrong first. Like, you can already see how in his mind he’s trying to dismiss James’ addiction, almost persuade himself that that issue is no longer relevant… you will see some more of that in the new chapter actually. I think for the biggest part, it’s regulus making excuses for his own poor judgment and inviting a newly recovering addict to bed. Like, Regulus is not an idiot and it doesn’t take a genius to realise this is a bad idea. Just cause James was able to minimise or downplay his problems for a little while doesn’t mean he’s now fully recovered and all is lovely jolly. And Regulus knows how things went with Sirius, this is very much not his first rodeo with withdrawals. So yeah, he will get better eventually, but it will take him a while.

Hope this answers your question and sorry for the ramble! Always lovely to hear your thoughts 🥰

[my-castles-crumbling]

hey!

i need advice (i think?).

how to get it inside my family's unbelievably thick head that I CAN NOT CONTROL THE FACT THAT MY JOINTS ACHE.

sorry for the yelling but legit i have two (TWO!!) doctor diagnosises, as in two different conditions BOTH which make my joints hurt. to the point where when im taking my exams (mind you i have my GCSEs in a MONTH) i have to take a break after every 20-30 minutes to massage my joints or else I'm literally unable to hold the pen.

which causes me to lose time.

moreover, my right hip hurts?? like all the time?? cz i sleep on my right side. (sometimes im limping cz i cant move it)

by the end of the day i cant even hold my phone (im making beaded gifts for my friends for a holiday). like its not like i have like an iphone 15 pro max or smthnf that its heavy. nope my phone is the lightest in the family (its older than my younger brother).

and also sometimes i just get random flares? like yesterday i was going to make brownies and suddenly i couldnt even pick up a bowl🚹. this happened once on my way to a debate competition too where i literally couldn't even lift a paper anymore 😃

when i tell my parents they tell me to drink milk??? like i try but it makes me want to vomit and gives me a stomach ache?? idk why they're even trying to deny it tbh LIKE THEYRE HEREDITARY DISEASES!!!

how to communicate with my parents. pls send help.

(oh yeah btw i found these rings which help with my finger thing so that theres not too much presshre on my joints when im writing and my mother said that it doesnt hurt me enough for me to deserve them. (IM SORRY I FORGOT THE LART WHERE YOU COULD FEEL MY PAIN))

Hi! <3

This sounds absolutely awful, I am so sorry.

I have two main thoughts that might help.

Have you talked to your doctor about talking to your parents? It sounds like you're at the age now where you might be able to call your doctor and request that. It might be that unfortunately, your parents aren't taking you seriously because they still consider you a 'kid,' so a professional might make them see sense.

To go along with that, when it comes to school stuff, since you have an official doctor diagnosis (two of them), you are legally entitled to accommodations. For example, you could get extra time on your tests. I'm not sure how it works in your country, but if the school is given the diagnosis, then a meeting can be requested to give you those accommodations, and you should definitely ask for that meeting!

This is a medical condition and you deserve to be taken seriously. So, (politely) demand that. Talk to your doctor. Talk to your school. It absolutely sucks that you have to do that, but hopefully if you do, you can get the help you deserve.

Let me know if I can do anything to help!

<3

(Also I am naming all the anons who write to me in case they want to write in the future, and I am using a random positive affirmation generator to do so. So I dub thee: incredible anon. Enjoy your free tag!)

[queenofzan]

Period Dysphoria

The worst thing about estrogen puberty for me was by far menstruation. I struggled with the practical aspects of dealing with periods, it wrecked me emotionally most months even though I didn’t actually have significant mood swings or PMS just because I hated it, it made me hate my body, and it felt icky.

So here are some Tips for dealing with or lessening menstrual dysphoria!

Have you tried a different period product?

I know this might sound silly--I hate this thing my body is doing, why would changing how I keep it from being an awful mess affect how I feel about it?--but it turned out a lot of my dysphoria was triggered by some of the specific sensations of it. I resisted tampons for a long time because of anxiety about TSS, but the first time I used a tampon (bc I started unexpectedly, asked all the girls around me for pads, and no one had any, but someone did have tampons, and it seemed like a better option than. stuffing a wad of toilet paper in my underwear and calling it a day) I was astonished to find that my dysphoria was much better.

There were things I didn’t like about tampons, but overall my periods were much less awful when I started using them. It also let me pinpoint what the sensations that triggered my dysphoria were, and determine that I would almost certainly get even better results using a cup. So I bought a cup and voila! All my period dysphoria and a bunch of the practical problems I had were effectively eliminated.

Cups have their own drawbacks, and definitely might make your dysphoria worse if it’s more general than mine is, but my point is actually consider giving other period products a try. If it doesn’t help, at least you know now. And it might be useful in helping you figure out what would help.

I stuck with pads for a long time because I figured nothing would help and pads seemed ~safest~

Birth control that stops periods

This was pretty new when I was a teenager, and people (including my mom) were kind of scared and fear-mongery about it...even though people had been using traditional birth control pills to lessen or skip their periods for decades.

It is not unhealthy to skip your periods! 

I mean, if your body is doing it and you’re not on birth control or HRT, it might be a sign something weird is going on. But doing it on purpose is fine!

Even if you’re not out or don’t want to talk to your parents or doctor about being trans, you might be able to get this! People are often sympathetic to the idea of periods being inconvenient. Talk about the practical difficulties--complain about bleeding through your clothes or sheets and having to do extra laundry, complain about cramps, complain about irregularity and needing a more reliable cycle!

Besides pills, there’s also the implant, which is available in the USA and Canada (and may be available in other countries, idk). In the USA it’s called Nexplanon, and it’s what I used before I got on testosterone.

Most birth control methods that stop periods don’t do it 100% reliably, but I had much shorter and easier periods even when they showed up.

The implant also has the advantage of not having the same kind of side effects as birth control pills, which might feel “feminizing” and make dysphoria worse.

Sleep on a towel

This might also be silly, and might have more to do with anxiety than dysphoria, but one reason I felt like shit during my periods in high school was how much I worried about leaking in the night and getting blood all over my bed, so I got terrible sleep, which makes everything worse.

Get yourself a ratty old towel (or a black one!) and sleep on it!

Personally I found any discomfort from the towel being less comfy than my sheets was FAR outweighed by the peace of mind that I was not going to get blood on everything.

If the towel is super uncomfortable, maybe you could try a dark-colored sheet, or even a waterproof liner/sheet!

Seriously I cannot begin to explain how much this simple thing that felt like cheating or some kind of life hack made my periods so much easier to deal with!

Talk to other people who menstruate about their experiences

I know this one can feel weird and uncomfortable, but it really helped me.

You probably know this, but most people with vaginas do not know a whole lot about them. We are given very minimal and warped information about what looks, feels, and acts normal. Stacking dysphoria on top of the extremely understandable shame a misogynist society tries to instill in people can make things extra difficult for us!

Talking to cis women who did not feel suicidal during their periods helped me realize maybe my period dysphoria was in fact serious!

Talking to other trans people about their experiences made me feel way less weird and alone!

You are not the only dude who has a period, or non-binary person who has a period! Slightly over half the human population menstruates for a significant chunk of their lives; that includes and has always included trans people.

If it isn’t too alienating/upsetting for you, reading feminist literature like Our Bodies, Ourselves and Cunt can be a great source of actual information from other people with vaginas about what is/isn’t normal for vaginas.

Generally speaking, if it’s not uncomfortable or distressing...it’s normal.

That still doesn’t mean you have to like it! You can have a perfectly healthy and typical body and still be unhappy with it because it’s not what you want!

I spent a long time suffering during every period. Now I’m on testosterone and don’t have periods at all, which rules, but I did manage to effectively eliminate period dysphoria before I even started T. It might not be as effective or possible for you, but it’s also important to remember:

Just because you can’t completely eliminate the problem doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have as easy of a time as it’s possible for you to have! Even if you can’t completely eliminate your period dysphoria, having less dysphoria or less anxiety about your period is worth it! Feeling less bad about yourself is worth it!

It’s not a zero-sum game where your options are Dysphoria Hell and Absolutely Dysphoria Free! Having a slightly better bad time is, well, better than having a terrible time. Just because none of these things are likely to Fix Everything doesn’t mean it’s not worth giving it a shot.

(And I mean, maybe you’ll get lucky like me, and it turns out something you thought was all-encompassing is actually a very specific trigger you can avoid. You don’t know if you don’t try!)

[boreal-sea]

Henlo hope you're having a great weekend! So uhm in case you're in any time up for more breaking down of terf/radfem bullshit I have some particulary awful receipts 👀

(Comparing being trans to BIID and Amputation Fetish??)

https://www.tumblr.com/sowhatnotcreative/721208090257735680

(Calling men these souless and horrible creatures over her own prejudices 🙃)

https://www.tumblr.com/sowhatnotcreative/721277805260914688/

(Unironically calling up for "Androcide" or at the very least for Matriarcal Totalitarism as the only means to "escape" the patriarcy)

https://www.tumblr.com/sowhatnotcreative/721036955767439360

(Literally straight up calling/implying gay/bi men as a whole are inherent pedophiles over annecdotal shit "But It's OKAY Gurls it's not because they're queer men it's becuz they're MoIdS 🤓")

https://www.tumblr.com/sowhatnotcreative/721026890468589568

Also as a little last note so this doesn't end in a negative note: this one Terf i'm taking all the post from, is the same one that tried to own Neil fucking Gaiman with a bad faith ask as a horrible misogynist or whatever, and got destroyed beautifully instead lmao

https://www.tumblr.com/thefloatingstone/719857099410128896/

A fun game to play with these is "Do I already have the TERF blocked?"

The answer is yes, I do lol.

So the first link is a lot of fearmongering about "What if kids could identify as amputees and get their limbs mutilated!? Also, anyone with BIID and ALL "trans" people are fetishists!"

There's so much wrong here but first of all, there's nothing wrong with having a fetish. End of statement. If you engage in your fetish in a way where you and anyone else involved comes away from it happy and fulfilled, I do not give a fuck what you're doing behind closed doors.

As for BIID, she didn't mention the outcomes of the two patients who underwent the surgery with that doctor, nor did she mention the outcomes of any other person with BIID who has successfully achieved their goals. I sure as hell can't speak definitively on it either; I've read news articles and everyone in those stories was completely happy with what they'd done to themselves. But that's probably a biased sample group; I imagine anyone who regretted their choices wouldn't be as open to speaking about it.

Basically: there is very little research into BIID because it's so goddamned taboo to even think about, but people who HAVE spoken on it are completely happy with their choices.

This might seem weird to admit but I've had daydreams about going blind or deaf, needing a wheelchair, or losing a limb, and enjoying it, and how I'd live and adapt. I bet a LOT of people have such daydreams, but we're all told it's "gross" and "mentally disturbed" and "mutilation" etc etc, so no one ever talks about this shit.

I also think about voluntary body modification from a sci-fi perspective. If I lived in a cyberpunk world or a future world where cyber limbs were a thing, would I voluntarily go hack off a healthy limb to get a cool robot arm?

Fucking yes I would.

And maybe that's related to my perspective as a trans person who is already completely comfortable with the idea of more "extreme" forms of body modification beyond tattoos and piercings. I don't have any problem with people who get dermal implants or do scarification or who get surgery to turn their ears pointed or who split their tongues, or top surgery or bottom surgery etc etc.

IDK man, my perspective is, it's their body, let them do whatever the fuck they want to it.

---

Links #2, 3 and 4 are just her projecting her trauma onto innocent human beings so she can dehumanize them. She should get therapy about that.

---

The final link is fucking hilarious and I love Neil Gaiman so much.

[ed-recovery-affirmations]

This is a little bit of a vent so if that’s not ok please just ignore :) tw for mentions of dieting, irrational food fears, and restricted eating

I have suspected BGE, which is inflammation of the brain. (Don’t worry, I’m pursuing diagnosis & have professional help) Earlier this year I went into a huge flare & developed some really awful restricted eating patterns because I was so unwell mentally. BGE causes a lot of irrational fears & a lot of mine center around food; I was afraid to eat and sometimes my brain wouldn’t “allow” me to eat for hours at a time. I’m now on medication that is helping me recover from the flare, and I’m fighting really really hard to recover from the eating disorder. But I’m really frustrated, because my family and friends keep telling me that I should go on a special diet to reduce the inflammation in my body. Logically I know that diet does play a big role in your physical health, and I agree that if I could maintain a healthy diet, it would help my symptoms, including my irrational fears surrounding food. But ironically, one of my symptoms is an eating disorder! And forcing myself to make a huge change in my diet when I’m already struggling to eat in general, doesn’t make sense to me. I’ve explained to them that I’m struggling to eat and that my focus right now is to eat enough food to keep me well, but some of them just keep telling me that I should diet. It’s really frustrating to me and I feel like they aren’t appreciating any of the progress I’ve made. I used to cry every time I ate because it was so hard, and now I eat three meals a day plus snacks and it’s not always the healthiest food, but it’s food and that’s what matters to me. So idk I just wanted to express some frustration about that, hope that’s ok. I love your blog btw!

Hi there. I say this a lot, but I'm sorry it took me so much time to get to this. I hope you've managed to get some answers. I know what hell it can be to have a mystery chronic illness. I also know what hell it can be when you have an illness that exacerbates your eating disorder.

It sounds like your family and friends have some pretty serious boundary issues. I think that, whether or not you have pulled further out of your flare, you need to work on developing some boundary statements to use with these people. These might help them understand more of the risk they cause you when they try to push you toward dieting, but maybe they won't help with that - the point of boundary statements is more to help people understand the consequences of ignoring your personal boundaries.

Perhaps you could consult the professionals you're working with and see if they can help you construct some easy-to-remember boundary phrases you can have handy!

So you could try to start with "You might think it's a good idea to give advice that my medical professionals have deemed dangerous, but I'd request that you didn't."

"I have inflammation in my brain and it's affecting the part that creates fear. Your advice creates more fear and is unhelpful."

"When I want advice, I'll ask my medical team."

But the thing is, it sounds like these people have consistently broken your boundaries before. So what consequences can you enforce in order to remove their access to you when they do this, thus removing their ability to violate your boundaries?

"Dieting and even diet talk is a threat to my condition according to my doctors. If you continue to put my health at risk I am going to stop talking to you."

"If you continue to put me at risk medically I am going to have to spend less time with you."

"I can see that you're trying to help, but you're not listening to me when I say this is unhelpful. I'm going to cut this conversation short now."

Remember, the goal isn't to prevent them from feeling frustration, it's to prevent them from having sufficient access to you to do further harm if they simply cannot understand why their behavior is harmful in the first place. This unfortunately may be an isolating process. Chronic illness will teach you all kinds of painful truths about who actually has what it takes to provide the kind of empathetic, ongoing, unglamorous support that a chronically ill person needs. Best of luck in taking care of yourself and in getting well.