#art block has been the fucking worst lately

[skullinacowboyhat]

once again in wip hell.

[alexandraisyes]

Confession time? You know what sure.

This fandom terrifies me. I've only been watching for nearly a year now. (I joined just after bloodmoons return)

The only reason I found teams is because of old animations of people in the regular dca / sun/moon fandom.

People that have turned away from tsams because of the harassment. But those animations made me check out the show.

And I as grew to love it more and more. I wanted to make content I grew scared. Because I was in the regular dca fandom and do just ship sun/moon

I have at this point gotten over that and posted two fics for TSAMS, even made artworks for fics I liked. And kept posting regular dca sun/moon stuff as well.

And so far nothing bad has happend but I know that won't last and that terrifies me. I am a fandom oldy. I have been part of fandoms wich were deemed to be some of the worst.

But there i was never so scared of posting my first fic for a fandom. And that is sad ain't it.

But when I posted my first tsams stuff. At least I know what I signed up for and am fully prepared for it. I know were I stand and am hopefully expierenced enough to tell when people will just try and provoke me Into picking a side

i have no desires to do for every singel issue this fandom seems to have (for some i think it's people just finding a reason to put you in a box to hate. So why make it easy on them. If they wanna know where I stand the can read through my blog. I ain't hiding my feeling on things)

I have my block button ready if need be. But I hope not.

I've seen some wonderful things being made in this fandom. And I hope that is something that will continue. But I do wonder how many people there were like me. That are/were to scared to post their work just because of the things going on. But unlike me...didn't find the courage to do so.

Sorry this got long and rambly as I tend to do...I hope it made some sense. And my phone didn't make to many autocorrects my tired brain won't see until it's way to late XD.

-Noffy

Hi Noffy! (Idk who you are, names are hard as fuck, but hi anyways!)

I know a lot of people have those same anxieties. Both in and out of the active fandom. I have a few friends with alt accounts purely for TSAMS because they primarily ship Sun/Moon or other DCA/DCA that don't have anything to do with TSAMS. I know a huge part of the fandom is made up of minors (and just generally younger folks/Gen Z) that just don't understand how fandom works.

If I had a nickel for how many times I've seen people in this fandom complaining about "incest ships and jokes" (oftentimes for things that are just the general DCA Sun/Moon that have NOTHING to do with TSAMS) and the other fans had to tell them how to use the block button I would have half of my phone bill. Because it's constant.

Which is partially why I'm so goddamned insistent on challenging those ideas of what the fandom experience is "supposed to be" in this fandom. We're in a fandom where it is canonically acknowledged that there are dimensions where Sun/Moon exist, and people are still freaking out over non-TSAMS Sun/Moon art. Can anyone else see the irony? Or those who pick and choose what AUs are or are not acceptable. If SolarMoon/SolarNexus can be an acceptable ship in this fandom under the pretense that "They were never brothers" or "They realized that they didn't want to be brothers" then every other "taboo" ship should be on the same level of acceptable since we're not dealing with living, blood-related things, but rather animatronics who decide family based on word of mouth.

So the just general hypocrisy in this fandom is fucking ridiculous and is why I'm constantly pushing onto people "If you see something that you think is interesting and want to make an AU do it!" Make the AUs. This is the AU fandom (other than Undertale but I advise people from going there, that place is getting worse by the day). Make conventional and unconventional AUs. I literally have a fucking fanfiction series about TSAMS with "Unconventional" in the name. (And it's a hit btw). The more people who stop worrying about what other people would think and just have fun the more enjoyable and less hostile this fandom would be.

And I talk about this kind of thing a lot on my page because I think it's important. I think the general hypocrisy is stupid. I think that hiding in fear is stupid too, and pretending to dislike or like things you don't is dishonest. To both others and yourself.

I'm glad that you finally felt comfortable enough to upload fanworks for this fandom, and I'm sorry that it took a gathering of courage to do so. And I hope that eventually, the people who are overwhelmingly positive and sane about fan experiences can outweigh the people who are more worried about fictional morality or canon compliance. I've had to block several people in this fandom already, either for trying to police the fandom or for deliberately breaking my boundaries (squinting at the minors who came in my discord to talk about my nsfw fanworks).

I also got long and rambly (as I also tend to do) so I'll forgive you for your petulance (/light-hearted).

I'm not "of old fandom" but I don't think that anything you do in fandom for the sake of enjoying fandom can be comparable to a real-life crime. I grew up teaching myself the old fandom mentality and I never once fathomed people could harass others over fictional works for the obvious reason that it's fiction and it's not hurting anyone. And if you didn't enjoy the book why were you reading it? These are things that I understood at quite a young age since I was an avid reader of normative fiction (novels). And when people complained about a book to me that they read of their own volition I always would wonder why they kept reading if they didn't enjoy it, for the obvious answer is when you come across a book you don't like seem to be to put it away.

So when I joined Twitter at age 17 one can imagine my shock at the idea that people were getting harassment over things that they made for other people, because one wouldn't publicly harass an author of a published novel for writing something they find distasteful. I think if more people would just treat fanworks the same way they treat solid media that you can turn the pages of we would have severely fewer issues in fandom. Someone spent time making content for others to enjoy (for free) and if you don't find yourself in the group that content is for then you don't have to make it everyone else's issues. Put the metaphorical book back on the shelf and find something else to do.

Ask Game - Send Me Confessions

[askanimperviouspeach]

Hi, I’m not sure if you remember me, I was the person who roleplayed with you on this account, I wanted to check in and say hi and hru

I AM OK, ALIVE, AND VERY SORRY!!! I am SO sorry for the inactivity and for basically ghosting the rp. I recently moved, and it was hell. then a year later we moved again, into a lesser hell but still hell. then a few months later another move but into our dream home! Busy is the biggest factor in why I went poof, be gone. to be completely honest, i have been going through the worst of art blocks. its now lasted a year and is still affecting me mentally, i had left art college because pursuing art as a job just... it really fucked me up ngl. Lately, it HAS been slowly getting better, as now our family in a more stable and amazing house (that i find frogs in the backyard every night, its literally heaven on earth) i've been able to recover No, my family life isnt unstable, no we arent financially destitute, and nO i dont have any mentally debilitating conditions (none that i can see and never been diagnosed). I say this so no one is disillusioned, I just had a long rough patch and consciously knew i had been neglecting my blogs, i just couldn't figure out how to get back into it. Procrastination really to you specifically, redzirpinkasmt, i am deeply sorry for falling off like that. There is no excuse. I know how annoying and maybe even scary it is to have a rp partner suddenly disappear, to be frank i didn't even know you responded. thats how out of it I was and i wont let that happen again, everyone at least gets a small message to ensure them they are heard and not ignored from now on. And im grateful you checked in i think thats very sweet and thoughtful.

Now finally, as the blog itself i have no idea if i will be continuing it. i want to. but I dont know if i will commit. when i first started it i never imagined this could be so demanding. and i guess im the one who made it demanding, lol. i have a tendency to make things harder on myself than need be. but should i start posting, things are gonna be D I F F E R E N T LIKE, VERY DIFFERENT. and WAY more laid back, with no exact timeline. The blog may have been neglected but the characters have been thought about a lot. VERY different, but I like them now. to give you guys a taste, ripper is no longer the bad guy. its morally ok to simp for her now/lol. anyway, ive been meaning to make this update for a long time but didnt have it in me. a few weeks ago, this would have had me sobbing. now im doing better and realizing that this should be a fun lil thing to do on the side. maybe ill start posting doodles or lil text stories, make this blog more casual. i dont know yet, but what i do know is that im very grateful for those who stuck around, and those who still send asks and like my stuff. IF i continue the blog, the asks i have in my inbox WILL be answered, dont worry. but they will be answered by the newer versions of these characters, the "rebooted" I'll call em. Anyways, thank you all and i wish you all a good night/day. also, gem galaxies controversy has led me to not play that game anymore. wont get into it now as this post is long enough but yeah, thought i should mention that

[unohanabbygirl]

I’ve been following along with your HIPS x FMN posts and I’m totally invested. Could you give us more angsty headcanons?

I’d be more than happy too. Ngl, I’ve been thinking about this AU for a while now so I have quite a few.

First off, getting into Osferth’s headspace is important because the plot revolves around his existence just as much as it does Luke’s past life and former trauma’s. Being a child born of r*pe isn’t an easy plight to come to terms with and creates insecurities regarding self-worth as well as your place in the world. Knowing that the worst thing that’s ever happened to your mother is what led to you being born is traumatic within itself. It’s something that never leaves your head, always there to remind you that you shouldn’t exist, that you ruined the possibility of your mother having a great life and doing amazing things. Luke could’ve been someone history regarded as one of the best Lords Driftmark had ever seen, but because of him Luke is no more than a victim whose been the subject of perverse and degrading art for centuries.

The constant reminders hurt, especially living in modern day. He’s still very young so being such a big (and slightly controversial) topic in history gets to him easily. He’s been forced to listen to strangers good and bad opinions regarding his mother and the choices he made. Judging what Luke should’ve done differently or how he fucked up by doing x,y,z despite the fact that he was no more than a scared kid himself. Osferth has always been a kind, understanding boy so it drives him up the wall that people can’t find it in themselves to see that his mother isn’t a topic to fuel their debates but a human being. Its a lesson to him that teaches him not everyone is capable of empathy or can put themselves in someone else’s shoes like he can.

Egg gathering evidence for months to reveal to the family that Aemond has a twisted fixation with graphic paintings depicting Luke’s assault hits Osferth hard. Though everyone did their best to make sure we wasn’t subjected to every piece of evidence available he still decided to do his own research after listening in while hiding at the top of the staircase. It leads him to googling the museum and taking some time to scroll through their website where he finds an entire category dedicated to art with Luke as the subject amongst other popular historical figures. The first page is tame and even leads him to shedding a few tears. Filled with beautiful pieces of paintings and sculptures alike that depict he and his mother as holy figures. Mostly of him as a newborn in Luke’s arms.

Sadly, the next click is where things start to get darker. Osferth doesn’t even make it to the bottom of the second page when he exits out and deletes his history without a second thought because there’s a chilling look of fear in Luke’s eyes as he tries to push a lust ridden Aemond off of him. Some are from as early as the late 12th century with price tags that go upwards of hundreds of millions. Little descriptions going on about the complex beauty of pain, forbidden lust and tear jerking push and pull between primal instinct and basic morality.

He doesn’t talk to anyone for a few days after that. Makes it a point to block Helaena’s phone number too after the bs she spouted in her brother’s defense. She never tries to contact him anyway, not after the absolute disaster she made of his 12th birthday party after showing up uninvited with Maelor and the twins.

One of Osferth’s most difficult struggles regards his looks which is understandable. He’s a carbon copy of Aemond and there’s not much he can do about it. He’s come to Rhaenyra about it quite often, voiced his own issues with how he looks as well as asking if she resents him for it. Ofc she tells him no, gives him a big and and assures that she could never see Aemond she looks at him. Same as his own mother did after he learned the truth.

Unsurprisingly, this doesn’t help much.

Soon enough Osferth goes down the rabbit hole of cosmetic procedures to change his most striking features. He’s still a young teenager (I picture somewhere around 13) so it’s not as though he can go under the knife, but this doesn’t stop him from becoming borderline obsessed with changing his looks via surgery once he’s of age. Perhaps a nose job or chin shaving, maybe both along with some filler to make his face less angular. Round out the harsh edges that he’s come to resent.

In conclusion our baby is struggling 😔

[purplesurveys]

1821

Have you bothered to think of the future lately? Little bit. When I do, it's usually in terms of my career. What's the next step, what is it do I really want to do, what can I do that can sustain the rest of my life...it's all questions I barely have the answer to now which is partly frustrating and partly me trying to put the work in because I hope to figure it out soon.

Would you rather have stars in the sky or the moon? I love seeing the moon but stars are the sight that I just don't get to see as often so I would go with them.

If you could choose your phone number, what would it be? I'm fine with mine. I've had the same number for a decade now and I also just don't want to have a memorize a new set of numbers.

Would you rather be somewhere familiar or get lost? Be somewhere familiar. When I'm traveling somewhere new, I'm cool with being adventurous just as long as I have some kind of map and go to places where I know there would still be tourists.

Are you afraid of what you do not know? Not really, if anything it pulls me in for the most part.

Is there something you are always interested in? History is a top placer for this question. There's also cultures, pro wrestling, food, art...idk I like learning about a lot of things haha.

What did you last hear that made your jaw drop? A couple I know who've been a couple for the better half of 10 years just broke up because boy cheated on girl. Can't say I'm super shocked because boy had always seemed a little less invested than girl, but I am still shocked nonetheless. Have followed suit with the rest of my friends and blocked the dude everywhere.

Do you have a question for anyone right now? Not for anyone but just the void, really – What does the future have for me?

Is there something you always order when you go out to eat somewhere? Depends on the restaurant, but generally yes. Like if it's Japanese, I usually look for anything with spicy tuna; if the place serves pasta, I look for fettuccine alfredo or carbonara; if it's serves all-day breakfast I tend to lean towards an Eggs Benedict...

When was the last time you felt like you were starving? I skip meals so this is a usual occurrence.

Would you ever dye your hair all the colors of the rainbow? Like...ROYGBIV at once? Nah.

Do you miss childhood at all? I mean I miss the freedom and innocence of high school and college, but apart from that I try not to yearn for the past.

Do you like listening to music on speakers? Yes, if I'm in the mood for speakers. Sometimes I prefer my earbuds.

Ever feel paranoid? Paranoid can almost be my middle name with how often I get in such a state.

Do you like extra butter on your popcorn? Yes, sure.

Would you rather have Junior Mints or Reeses? Reese's, because I love them as it is but also because I have no clue what the other brand is.

Have you ever avoided going to the bathroom because you were busy? Yes. Same with eat. Thanks to work!

What is the longest shower or bath you have ever taken? I've taken hour-long baths. As for showers, I've occasionally lasted 30-45 minutes.

When was the last time you were in physical pain? Last Thursday. We held a client's event which involved a 3K run that I participated in, but being the absolute least active one in the team + the fact that I hadn't drunk enough water prior + I'm PRETTY sure I am anemic, I had a dehydration episode and all the physical symptoms showed up at once – feeling incredibly hot and cold at once, a pounding headache, seeing black spots, shaky legs, nausea, an upset stomach. Worst shit ever and after that evening I wish my team would start leaving me alone and not force me to join in those runs again for the sake of socializing. A year ago I had the same episode but it was an event that involved hiking a goddamn mountain for the same client, so Thursday just pissed me off because it's like, stop making me push my fucking body for the sake of work.

How many times have you broken a bone? Never and I hope it never has to happen.

Do you own anything “designer?” Sure.

Will you be attending any concerts in the next month? Not any time soon. I went to Seventeen's concert in January, but as far as upcoming shows there aren't really any acts I'm interested in seeing. I do have tickets for Miss Saigon in April but that's it.

What have you been worried about lately? My next job and where I can potentially be headed!!! My job-hunting phase sucked so I agreed to extend at my workplace for two months – this time under certain conditions in my favor – both so I can continue earning while also giving me time to continue looking.

Do you know how to swim? When it all boils down to it, no. Like I like to swim for recreation, but for life and death situations like getting lost at sea I doubt I have the skills to survive for long. I can hardly tread in the deep side of the pool as it is.

Do you think you could go a week without sugar? Well no, don't we all need a certain amount of sugar to survive?

Would you be willing to go one day each week without meat? Yes.

Have you looked at any old photos of yourself lately? Sure. There's been a popular template on IG recently where it makes you bring out a photo of yourself from 2019, so that's made me look at photos of my younger self.

Do you use sunscreen during the summer? I hadn't in the past but I started using BB cream this year and I plan on making it a habit now, especially for summer.

How many pairs of sunglasses do you own? One.

Are you a fast or slow reader? Fast.

Are you a short tempered person? Depends on what type of day I've had. I can definitely be cranky if the entire day has been giving me shit after shit circumstances.

Best thing you’ve found at a thrift store: WWE Encyclopedia.

Would you survive if you were stranded in a strange city all by yourself? Doubt it.

[natto-axolotl]

choose violence ask game. hollow knight

hi nonnie!!! unfortunately the last time i was super into HK was 2021 but i will try.

the character everyone gets wrong: lurien. he gets watered down into a pk fanboy almost every time i see him.

a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom: never ever thought about this, never ever will

screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr: not going to go into detail bc everyone's moved on and it was bad but it was a lot of weird discourse that happened a couple years back

what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?: discourse.

worst discord server and why: this is personal beef, but the daily HK server that imploded from surpassing the Users Prone To Discourse threshold in horrific flaming fashion. it's been literally almost 3 years though so we're all good.

which ship fans are the most annoying?: anything with grimm. terribly sorry this is not a particularly romance-inclined fandom and i cannot think about them being in love in canon

what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?: grimm. sorry.

common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about: I haven't been keeping up with this fandom at all lately so i really dont know WJBDEJDBEN HAHA

worst part of canon: there's nothing i really don't like about the game :D

worst part of fanon: I don't reaaaally like the intense babying of pv and ghost in post canon "everyone lived" fics. let them have agency man.

number of fandom-related words you've filtered: none!!!

the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them: lurien!!! this is because i briefly ran an rp blog as him, but also because i think it's interesting to think about what would've brought a character like him to be so devoted to pk's cause, and what kind of person he was when hollownest was in the prime of its life. funny towel man.

worst blorboficiation: grimm. SORRY SORRY SORRY

that one thing you see in fics all the time: strangely contrived prose to refer to the body language of all the characters. i get it but Why

that one thing you see in fanart all the time: ghost being drawn with other indie protags. little baby is officia delegate of hollow knight.

you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc): everyone loves memeing on pale king as being a guy willing to kill his own babies to save his kingdom but i genuinely want some exploration of him beyond just a surface level flanderizing "lol. lmao he threw his kids off a cliff" joke. Hupis Incarnate

there should be more of this type of fic/art: i love gijinkas/humanizations esp modern day gijinkas never stop making gijinka content. also anything to do with the radiance. i love the radiance.

it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...: CORNIFER AND ISELDA AND THE FIVE KNIGHTS AND (hk fixation kicks back in 2 years layer)

you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...: lace/hornet. we don't even know the BACKSTORY. but do you think yuri can bloom on the battlefield.

part of canon you found tedious or boring: actually have never played HK lol

part of canon you think is overhyped: like 40% of the grimm troupe expansion. it's cool but the fanbase latched on too hard.

your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores: KINGDOM'S EDGE AND EVERYTHING ABOUT MONOMON AND THE SIMPLE FRAMING OF THE INSTRUCTIONS AS BEING FOR HIGHER BEINGS. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.

ship you've unwillingly come around to: lemmquirrel, i see it and im like "neat! middle aged bug yaoi and the aimlessness of a quest to reacquaint yourself with purpose! i haven't read sbabl ever!"

topic that brings up the most rancid discourse: (stares at camera) Shipping.

common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing: when silksong (me too. but give them some time.)

[de1-os]

i'll bite, whats the story about why you turned down those coms?

okay I wroite a whole response and everything but then my pc refused to connect to my router so I ahve to rewrite. all of it so I'm gonna try a keep it as thorough but short as possible

The 2nd one was requested a couple years ago (sweating nervously I wonder if it's been too recent to talk about it) but yeah this is when i did paypal only commissions on my old acc. The request was for me to draw a. Ok I don't know the semantics of the character's race but he's White and From Japan (like, the setting of the story, he was born and raised in Japan iirc).

^ this guy. he also has a wolf form with the same color scheme

and the requester asked me to draw his wolf form as a "Djinn" (shirtless, magic lamp, turban and all). Which. I was not comfortable with! And I was like "idk dude I don't think I draw something like that esp. because I don't. Know anything about Djinn." and they insisted and explained to me what a Djinn was and gave me examples of what they wanted, and tbh I don't remember if I was like "Seriously. No." or if I stopped responding entirely but they never contacted me again.

I looked up the person's url during this whole interaction and apparently they've publicly requested (and I assume commissioned) other artists to draw various other anime characters as "djinn" (which. the most distinct one I remember was Mt. Lady from BnHA.) and Only That. And it's just. it's feels at best cultural appropriation and at worst race fetishization (maybe not the precise phrases that describes what I mean, but if it gets the point across....) to me.

-----------

The 1st commission I've ever rejected (and mind you the 1st one I got ever), I got back in late 2016. Despite having a tumblr at the time I only really posted my art on DeviantArt (and Google+ but I digress). I decided to open commissions after an internet friend of mine explained to me how it works (and the prices were horrendously low, like maximum $10 low, but I was like 12-13 years old) and I mostly did requests anyways.

Anyways this guy (and I still have the screenshots I sent my friends at the time, referring to them for accuracy) sends me a really polite message (like. waaay overly formal) asking me to draw Kumatetsu from The Boy and The Beast but "shrunk" and him going about his daily life in his shrunken form in oversized clothes. But like. this guy was really insistent about the specifics of how this character looked when "dwarfed". and was like "I Will Negotiate to get this art" (paraphrasing) and also asked for a comic about How this character was shrunk "if I wanted to" (paraphrasing). Which. 13 year old me had no idea how to take this??

I checked out his account and found a lot of art (reuploads of art he requested/commissioned I believe). And like, at the time I had no idea what it was but it was fetish art. A whole bunch of it. Baby/diaper stuff, shrunken characters, inflation??, uhm. Large. Feet? etc. of. children's show characters.

Which, t. to each their own abt their fetishes/paraphilias/fixations and what they post in their personal online spaces (the block button is free) but the actual issue in this situation was that this was an Adult Man (30s at the time, I believe) asking a 13 year old to draw fetish art for him, and even insisted that he would do Anything to negotiate getting that art. While it wasn't sexually explicit, that's like. really fucked up!!! I even actually drew out part of the commission before deciding to just not accept any money for it because it felt too weird and gross to me.

While this was like 7 years ago I still wouldn't accept the commission if I got it now. If you're going to commission fetish art from someone commission an artist who also has that fetish and isn't a minor.

Anyways that's the only 2 times I've every rejected someone's commission before.

[rcmclachlan]

I posted 2,223 times in 2022

93 posts created (4%)

2,130 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sonatine

@jewtastic

@laughingacademy

@ifeelbetterer

@mushiemadarame​

I tagged 2,187 of my posts in 2022

Only 2% of my posts had no tags

#the untamed - 303 posts

#beyond evil - 196 posts

#the sandman - 58 posts

#you laugh you reblog them's the rules - 50 posts

#dreamling - 48 posts

#sailor moon - 48 posts

#writing is hard yo - 46 posts

#kinnporsche - 42 posts

#tgcf - 40 posts

#word of honor - 40 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#han ki-hwan is like 'did the officer i hired for shady reasons ruin my confirmation hearing to arrest and eye-fuck my only son on live tv?'

My Top Posts in 2022:

#3

Just a heads up: If you come into my inbox whining about what AO3 “allows,” you will be blocked. I have managed to stay discourse free for my entire tenure on this site and I plan to keep it that way.

If you cannot curate your own reading experiences, or you are going out of your way to find content that is upsetting to you, that is a you problem. Take it somewhere else.

73 notes - Posted August 12, 2022

#2

Hey RC, if you have the time and inclination, do you have any stranger things fic recs? I trust you to have found The Good Shit 👌

Sorry for the late reply! I don't have a ton of recs, but you know the ones I do are Good™. Happy reading, my friends!

R.C.'s Steve/Eddie fic recs

and it all comes down to you by heartofwinterfell

Eddie Munson’s no hero. Too bad the universe—or whatever’s gonna be left of it—didn’t get the memo. [or, eddie is going to save himself and his friends or die trying. many, many times.]

Some Things Cosmic by stereobone

Steve has a dream about Eddie. And another. And another. And another...

The Worst Mixtape Ever Made by nbfutureboy

“It’s a gift, so you gotta listen to the whole thing, okay? I think-- I think it’s got what it takes.” There’s an art to making a mixtape - and Steve Harrington has decidedly ignored all semblance of art in creating a mixtape for Eddie Munson. Too bad Eddie’s fascinated with how impressively terrible his song choices are.

nightswimming by heartofwinterfell

“You fought a bunch of demon bats with your guitar in a hell version of our town, but me not being a total dick is still what’s earth-shattering to you?” “Yeah, but Satan willing, I’m never gonna see those bats again,” Eddie said, crossing himself backwards, cigarette smoldering between his fingers. “You, I might be keeping around.” [five conversations by the water]

don't start (too late) by Ark

"Robin says that losing virginity is a social construct," says Steve. "I think I got it the second time she walked me through what she meant." "She’s right," Eddie says. His eyes are glued to where Steve is pouring a comical amount of lube into his hand, over his fingers. He tries to breathe evenly. "What should we call this instead?"

what love is by kissesforcas

Steve is incapable of not taking care of the people he cares about. And against all odds, he cares about Eddie. Eddie has never been taken care of. Not like that. Or: Eddie & Steve fall in love, before Christmas but not too fast.

Whole Lotta Love by stereobone

Steve scoffs. "I think if I was dating someone, Robin, I would be the first to know about it." "Would you, though?" Robin says.

hot (sticky, sweet) by ToEdenandBackAgain

"You're abusing company policy,” Steve corrects and Eddie nods, unashamed, and leans forward. “Fuck The Man, Harrington. Gimme a taste.” Or: it's the hottest day of the summer so far, and Eddie just wants his due of free samples. Annoying the shit out of Steve Harrington is just a cherry on top.

strange (but not a stranger) by heartofwinterfell

Max saddles up to him, dusting off her smuggest smile. “Huh, seems like they all ditched your dungeon for a way cooler, sexier dungeon.” Through gritted teeth, Mike spits out, “That’s not how Dungeons and Dragons works.” [or, mike must contend with the fact that everyone in his life seems to like eddie munson more than him]

91 notes - Posted July 18, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

show us figaro your beautiful girl

Gotta give the people what they want

150 notes - Posted July 10, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[ladyfanatics]

16/10/23 ,00:11

i should most definitely be asleep right now. and i want to be. i’m quite sleepy. so, guess who’s depressed again. me, obviously. lately, everything has been difficult. school has been kicking my ass. i don’t know why, but i’m getting bad in every subject, i’ve just received my worst grade ever, a 77% in ENGLISH. i wanted to ball my eyes out when i saw that. the thoughts have started back up again. the paranoia is making me insane. i dreamt about her again. it was horrible. i can’t stand it. i’m terrified every single day. walking into school, i can feel the judgement in their eyes. the way i stay quiet. the way im so scared to walk in front of her friends. i checked her instagram, and she unfollowed all of our mutual friends. im too scared to call them friends, what if i mess up? the thing is, i can’t cope with losing people. and lately, all i’ve been doing is losing people. she even blocked me. me and her new best friend sit close in one class. this kid next to her was showing off his drawing and she said that it looked like wings, but it was supposed to be a backpack. when he showed it to me, i said it looked like skinny wings. she then said « there ». i’m so overthinking this. then when i walked in front of her and her stupid fucking friends, i heard one of them yell out « IS THAT THE CHICK? » i felt so ashamed. i don’t know if they were talking about me, but one of them whispered something into the others ear and she bust out laughing. the last time i thought i was overthinking, i ended up being right. tomorrow, i have art class. twice this week. you don’t even understand how much i HATE that class. her and her stupid friend’s friends are there. ALL of them. i would love that class if it wasn’t for them. then i have french, science, and math. i legit hate it. i’m at the back of the class, all alone. like always, and i’m always paranoid about the rumours she spreads about me. she’s been telling people (i think) that during our friendship, i called her ugly multiple times. she never mentions the fact that we both did it. it kills me to go to school. she doesn’t understand how much i fucking despise her. i’m scared she’ll tell them about him. him and his friend tried to speak to me, but i awkwardly stared at them and left. i don’t know how to feel about him anymore. if she does, i’m going to kill myself. i’m not joking. i’m serious. i sometimes think about that night and i just get confused. when i asked online wether it counted as assault, they said it didn’t but “my feelings of discomfort were definitely valid”. i don’t know why, that made me angry. yesterday, i finished my first shift as a babysitter. took a while for the kids to fall asleep. i hate my life, i genuinely do. 3 months ago, i thought that i’d be doing better. but i still feel like dying. i don’t think it’ll ever get better if i’ll be honest.

[delicateflowerss]

Sweet Serial Killer

Your worst nightmares come to life on Halloween night, all to do with the man of your dreams, Rafe Cameron.

Warnings: 18+, NON-CON, DUB-CON, VIOLENCE/MURDER, dark!Rafe, blood, blood kink, choking, death/grief, college!AU, ghostface!Rafe

banner by: @maysdigitalarts

7.5k words, happy halloween!

The bedside lamp she tried reaching for falls to the floor with a thud.

Her scream is cut short as the squelching sound of the knife going into her chest fills the room. It continues long after her body has stopped moving, the light leaving her eyes.

Her killer finally stops, taking in his handiwork. He moves his foot away from the growing pool of blood.

His gloved hand rips the gold chain off her neck. He stands to his full height as the necklace swings from his fingers. The tiny heart with BFF engraved into it, now forever broken.

He sizes up the full-length mirror across from him, considering this act of violence as a piece of art, something to be proud of. His knife gleams as crimson drips to the floor.

The mask on his face covers the smirk on his lips.

All day, everything has been in slow motion. The feeling of your friend’s hand on your back has been numbed, the weight of it feeling like TV static instead.

The tears stopped a while ago, none left in your body. The only touch registering, is the touch of cold metal in your fingertips. The necklace you’ve had on since grade school, way past the point of realizing it’s tacky.

But it didn’t matter because you shared it with one person only.

Now she’s gone.

It still doesn’t feel real.

“Are they still out there?”

“Right in front of the dorm.”

You’ve been sitting in the same spot all day, the couch molding around you, your friends have taken turns comforting you.

They’re upset too, but no one knew Cori as long as you did.

Right now, Andrea is comforting you. It’s mostly been her and Simone by your side. The guys just giving you space.

You think it’s better that way, not really wanting a bunch of frat guys doing what they think is helpful to someone in a time like this.

Except for your boyfriend, you suppose.

“They’ve been out there all day.”

You lift your eyes from the floor for the first time in the past hour.

He’s annoyed, sighing through his nose. But you can tell the reporters outside your dorm is the least of his worries.

He glances at Andrea, still fighting his annoyance.

“Can I have some time with my girlfriend now?”

“Go for it,” she replies curtly.

Her warmth leaves your side.

You see her join her own boyfriend, looking out the window at the news vans parked across the street.

He takes her spot quickly, not leaving you cold for too long. He brings you closer, his arm hanging off your shoulder. Your eyelids fall shut as he presses his lips to your temple. A moment of solace on this dark day.

“Can I do anything? Get you anything?” His mouth is at your ear, a hush falling over his voice.

You shake your head no, a word not being able to form just yet.

A few minutes pass, while contentment falls over the two of you, something you haven’t felt all day.

“Rafe?”

“Hm?”

His blue gaze settles on you.

“Who would do something like that?” You rasp out.

He pauses for a moment, shrugging a little.

“Probably some maniac. There’s some real fucked up people out there.”

His response doesn’t quell your fears. He notices how your shoulders tense under his arm.

“Did the police say anything about who it could’ve been?”

You remember your time spent answering questions late last night. It feels like forever ago. You’ve tried to block the whole thing out, how it was you who found her body.

You’ll never get that image out of your mind.

“No, they have no idea.”

“Well, I wouldn’t worry if I were you.”

“Why?”

“Because I won’t let anything happen to you.”

You want to crack a smile at his protectiveness, but your lips end up twitching instead. You feel his heavy gaze on you, it’s almost suffocating knowing that he’s upset just because you are.

But it does make you feel better knowing his heart is in the right place.

Cori and your boyfriend never really got along. A tug of war with you in the middle, both sides of you being pulled. Cori always had something to say about Rafe, how he’s an asshole, frat guy who will just end up breaking your heart.

Rafe, in turn, called her a stuck-up bitch. He told you his theory one night after a few drinks, how Cori must be in love with you if she can’t let you have a boyfriend.

You just rolled your eyes, pinning his crude comment to being drunk.

There were the times where the insults would stop for your sake, and you loved them both for it, for trying.

He might not show it, but you know Rafe is grieving along with you. He may not have liked her, but it’s not like he wanted her dead.

“I don’t think I can ever go back to my dorm.”

The one you and Cori shared.

“You shouldn’t have to. The university should put you in another one or even another building.”

“They’re probably all full until next semester.”

“It doesn’t matter. They can’t expect you to go back there.”

You shake your head slightly. “Believe me, they probably do.”

“Until they move you, you’re staying here.”

“Rafe-.”

He says your name in a chastising way. “I’m not letting you out of my sight, alright? And the guys have no problem with it.”

He glances at the guys around the room. “Right?” He calls out.

“Right,” they half-heartedly yell out.

“Hey, I get it. I don’t think you should go back to your dorm either,” Matt says to Andrea, his hand on her knee as she sits on his lap.

She simply rolls her eyes. “So, you’re going to protect me from this psycho?” She jokingly asks. “You can’t even kill a spider.”

“What are you talking about?” An offended look on his face.

Everyone joins in her laughing, even you breathe out a chuckle.

“You weren’t supposed to tell anyone.”

“Even if you could fight this guy off, I can’t leave Simone all alone.”

“Thank you, Andrea. It’s almost like if you don’t have a boyfriend, you deserve to die,” Simone sarcastically says.

You wince a little at her offhand comment.

“You can stay in my room, Simone. I don’t have a problem with it,” Chris says through the chewed-up chips in his mouth.

Simone visibly cringes. “No thanks.”

“I think they’re finally leaving,” Dan says, still peeking out the window.

“Then maybe we should get going.” Andrea eyes Simone.

“You’re leaving?” Matt asks.

You start to zone out at their back and forth. The distraction of the people around you only lasting so long.

The pain in your chest comes back. She’s gone and there’s nothing you can do about it.

You make it through the next few days. The school holds a candlelight vigil for Cori. You thought it would be a nice way to remember her. Instead, you were faced with people who barely knew her, acting like she was their best friend.

You left early.

Your parents offered to come visit you, but you refused, just wanting to get through the rest of the semester. They talked to the university on your behalf, demanding them to move you to a new dorm. The school agreed but said it would be a couple weeks, leaving you to stay with Rafe. He hasn’t left your side, staying true to his word. Which you have to admit, surprises you.

You love him but you can’t call him the perfect boyfriend. Except lately, he’s been everything you want and more. He’s been attentive and affectionate, and getting you anything you want.

When you needed some things from your dorm, he went instead. When you can’t sleep at night, he brings you closer to him, your head on his chest as his heartbeat lulls you to sleep. He always makes sure you fall asleep before him.

Usually when you two spend the night together, he would make some vulgar remark and pressed himself against your ass until you had no choice but to give in to him.

You never felt like he was forcing you, but saying no to him always felt wrong, like you weren’t being a good girlfriend.

But the past few nights, he’s put you first. You haven’t exactly been in the mood for sex, so he hasn’t brought it up.

Except one night, when sleep wouldn’t come to you and the vision of Cori lying cold in her own blood wouldn’t stop pestering you, a distraction felt like the best thing.

Rafe was hesitant at first, asking you whether you’re sure. But once you said yes, he was eager to please you. He pushed your underwear down, making circles on your clit with his tongue, sucking it lightly. You wrapped your fingers in the soft strands of his hair, moaning loud enough for the whole house to hear you.

After you came on his tongue, you expected him to want something in return. Instead, he just sweetly kissed you and let you fall asleep in his arms.

You don’t think you could be more in love with him.

“Are you sure you’re going to be alright? I don’t have to go.”

“Rafe, you’ve been glued to my side for the past week. You’re allowed to hang out with your friends.”

You can’t deny that you’re nervous to be alone for the first time since Cori was murdered. But Rafe deserves a fun night without you.

“I wish I could bring you, but Chris wants this to be a night with no girlfriends and-.”

“Rafe.” You cut off his long explanation. “It’s fine. I’ll be fine.” You wrap your arms around his middle, your body against his. You leave a quick kiss on his soft lips, smiling just to show him how okay you’ll be.

“I’m just going to get some homework done, then probably go to sleep.”

He nods, stepping away from you, your arms falling from him in the process.

“Don’t have too much fun,” he teases while slipping on a gray jacket.

You playfully roll your eyes before following him down the stairs to the door.

“I love you. Call me if there’s a problem,” he calls out as he steps into the cool, autumn air.

“Will do. I love you too.”

You close the door behind him, leaving you in the empty house. It’s weird to be there when there’s no football blaring from the TV or music blasting from someone’s speakers.

Rafe was the last to leave, deciding to meet the rest of them at the bar. You don’t think too long on being alone, deciding to distract yourself with the paper you have to write.

But after a couple hours, the words on your screen start to blur, dozing off in Rafe’s desk chair.

Before the peaceful promise of sleep can take you in, the doorbell wakes you up.

You blink, looking around the room. Before you can dismiss it as a sound from your subconscious, it rings again.

You make the trek all the way to the front door, swinging it open.

No one is there.

A chill goes up your spine at the cold air hitting you. You step onto the front porch as you shiver, looking around, trying to find your unknown visitor.

You bite your lip, retreating into the house. You push the door closed, making sure to lock it.

You don’t hear anything behind you but when you turn around, you’re faced with a dark figure, dressed in black from head to toe, except for the white on his mask. He towers over you, and you try to figure out if this is a joke.

Before you can ask, you notice the glint of the shiny knife in his hand.

He lunges towards you as a shriek leaves your throat. His hand almost reaches you as you run from his grasp.

You run up the stairs, knees almost buckling. His loud steps follow you and before you can make it to the refuge of Rafe’s room, you feel your attacker grab your shirt, pulling you closer.

He pushes you, your shoulder slamming into the wall. Your heartbeat is loud in your ears as you stare into the dark, empty eyes of the mask in front of you. Your breathing is labored as you feel pinned, his body up against yours.

You know you should try fighting him off, running away. But you can’t move, your muscles frozen as he slowly drags the knife down your chest, between your breasts. One wrong move and you’re a goner.

Something inside you snaps, the adrenaline rush helping you bring your knee to his groin in one movement.

As he bends over in pain, you get away, locking Rafe’s bedroom door behind you.

You use your body to keep the door closed as your attacker pounds on it.  He gives up quickly, the house going quiet. You spot your phone on the desk, dialing 911.

You hang up after the woman tells you the police will be there soon. You try to steady your breathing, hoping the man is gone.

You jump when the doorknob jiggles.

A familiar voice yells out your name.

“Are you alright? Why is the door locked?”

“Rafe?”

A flood of relief washes over you.

“Yes, it’s me, baby. Open the door.”

You open it to find your concerned boyfriend. His brows drawn together.

The tears that have been building finally start to run down your face as you find comfort in his strong arms. You hide your face in his chest, no doubt soaking his shirt. He holds you close to him as he coos in your ear.

“Shh. You’re okay. I’m here now.”

All you can think about is finally feeling safe. You don’t see how the dim lighting casts a sinister shadow on his face, or the ghost of a smirk on his lips.

You try to tell him everything, but your sobbing gets in the way. It doesn’t take long for the police to show up, the red and blue lights shining into the windows, sirens blaring.

They search in and around the house, finding nothing. You give them the full story, a blanket draped over your shoulders.

Rafe stays as close to you as he can, keeping a watchful eye on you. They don’t hesitate to ask him questions also.

“You said you found the front door open?”

“Yes. You think that’s how the guy left?”

“So, from what your girlfriend said, you must’ve gotten here just a few minutes after the attacker left. But you didn’t see anything suspicious?” The officer asks incredulously.

“Just the front door wide open.” Rafe pauses, glancing at you again. “I’m sorry I didn’t see anything else. I was just focused on making sure my girlfriend was okay.”

“I understand.”

“I mean if something had happened to her…” He trails off, looking to the ground.

A pitying look falls over the officer’s face, replacing any suspicion.

“Are you gonna be able to catch this guy? I just don’t want this maniac coming back around here, or anywhere on campus.”

“Yes, we know, Mr. Cameron. We’re working on it.” He leans in closer to him and continues, “Keep an eye on her and call us if you see anything unusual. Thank you for your time.”

He nods to you before getting into his car.

Rafe puts an arm around you as the red and blue disappear.

“I’m so glad you’re okay.”

Andrea’s arms wrap around you tight. She finally lets up as Simone puts a soothing hand on your shoulder.

Andrea continues, a worried look on her face, “That literally sounds so scary. Some guy in a mask chasing you?”

“Thank God you’re such a badass. Or you’d be…” Simone stops herself, not wanting to finish that thought.

“I just don’t know why he would come after me. Or why he went after Cori.”

You blink back tears, promising yourself that you won’t cry anymore.

“So, the police have no idea who it is?” Andrea asks.

You shake your head.

That’s what has been bothering you the most. What does a stranger have against you? You barely slept last night, that mask burned into your vision. You were worried you’d wake up with him right above you, his knife plunging into your heart.

Rafe calmed you down as best as he could, but even he can’t make you feel safe when there’s a killer out there.

As you stared at the dark ceiling, Rafe lightly snoring beside you, the conclusion you came to is the person behind the mask has to be someone you know. Or someone who knows you. How else would they have known you’d be home alone?

That thought scared you more than all this happening by chance. It means you’re being hunted, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

“Fuck, dude! There’s no way we can throw a party tomorrow night,” Chris yells out to Rafe, his phone in one hand. “The university is placing a mandatory curfew. No one out after 9 o’clock.”

Everyone else in the living room hears him, their attention turned to him. You can tell Rafe is mulling over his options, that faraway look in his eyes. You cross your arms, having hoped for a different kind of reaction.

“A fucking curfew on Halloween! They can’t be serious,” Matt shouts.

“There’s a literal killer on the loose,” Dan says looking at everyone in the room. “One that broke into this house last night, when Y/N was here. Did everyone already forget that?”

“We haven’t. But I guess someone else did,” Andrea says, giving her boyfriend a slight glare.

Matt notices. “I haven’t forgotten. But come on, it’s Halloween.”

Andrea rolls her eyes, not amused. “There are other things to do on Halloween besides getting drunk.”

“You know we throw a party every year, people count on us for this type of thing. Also, we’re all Seniors. We’re not gonna be able to do this next year,” Chris jumps in.

“Grow up! Cori is already gone. Something could happen to any of us,” Simone says with a sneer.

A silence settles over the room.

Rafe is the first one to break it.

“We’ll all be fine, alright? We’re having the party. I’m sure we won’t be the only ones anyway.”

Excitement washes over Chris and Matt’s faces.

Chris pats Rafe’s shoulder, “Yes!”

Him and Matt start planning. Matt muttering, “We need to get the kegs, what else?”

Before they leave for the kitchen, Chris calls out, “And you girls can decorate!” Letting out an obnoxious laugh afterwards.

Dan just shakes his head, heading upstairs.

Your angry eyes are settled on your boyfriend, casually sitting in one of the sofa chairs.

“Really, Rafe? A party?”

His lips part as his eyes meet the floor.

Andrea and Simone shift uncomfortably next to you.

“Are you going to say anything?”

You try to show how upset you are with him, but you can tell it’s bleeding out.

He finally looks up. “Can we have some privacy?” He harshly asks as he moves his eyes between the two girls standing on either side of you.

They silently ask you for your opinion. You just give them a nod.

Once they’re gone, Rafe gets up, walking towards you.

“I don’t know why you’re upset. You love the Halloween party just as much as everyone else, maybe more.”

“It’s not really the time for a party. I won’t have much fun if I have to constantly look over my shoulder.”

He opens his mouth to speak but you continue, “It’s like you don’t care about my feelings at all. I was attacked last night after my best friend was murdered. Something bad could easily happen tomorrow night.”

“But it won’t. You won’t be leaving my side, alright?”

“Rafe, stop with that! You can say that and all, but even you wouldn’t be able to protect me from a guy like that.”

His jaw ticks.

“It seems like only Andrea, Simone, and Dan have any common sense around here.”

“Dan? What, you like him better than me now?”

You let out a sigh. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Dan doesn’t care about anyone but himself. He only said all that because he knows if the killer comes for him next, he’s done for.”

“Don’t say things like that.”

“What? It’s true. You’re the one saying that even I couldn’t take this guy down, so how does Dan stand a chance?”

You shake your head, the only thing you can do is let out a sarcastic laugh. This is the Rafe you know and try to love. You should’ve known that all the sweetness and understanding would come crashing down soon enough.

Now that you’ve had a taste of what he could be like, this feels like going from five-star dining to eating McDonalds.

Maybe Cori was right.

“I’m not doing this with you.”

You don’t want to even try and fight with him, knowing it never goes anywhere.

“I’m staying with Andrea and Simone for a few nights.”

He starts to say your name, but you ignore him, running up the stairs.

He doesn’t follow you.

“Should we watch A Nightmare on Elm Street or Halloween?” Simone keeps her eyes on the TV screen.

“Maybe we should watch something with less murder,” Andrea suggests.

“A horror movie without murder. I don’t think they make those.”

“We could watch Hocus Pocus.”

“What, are we 12?”

“Hocus Pocus is fun, no matter how old you are, Simone.”

Their bickering blends into the background as you stare at your phone. You expected that Rafe would have texted you at least once since yesterday. Actually, you thought he would be calling and texting you non-stop.

Instead, radio silence.

You peek past the curtains, spying on the house across the street. You would have to be blind to not notice the huge party happening. You thought more people would listen to the curfew.

Your stomach twists knowing that Rafe is having fun without you, easily able to ignore you, not worrying or checking up on you.

This killer shouldn’t get in the way of you celebrating your favorite holiday.

“I think we should go to the party,” you interrupt them.

They stare at you like you’re speaking gibberish.

“What? Aren’t you scared the killer is going to come back?”

“The truth is, Andrea, the killer could break into here if he wanted to. Maybe it would be better if we were around more people.”

She’s not convinced.

“I don’t know, Y/N. I already got into a whole argument with Matt about not going.”

“I guess you guys don’t have to go. It is just across the street.”

“No, you’re not going alone,” Simone adds.

“We don’t even have costumes,” Andrea sighs out.

“We can wear old ones. I’m sure there’s something around here.”

You start searching through the closet of their dorm room.

Jack o’ lanterns adorn the front porch, along with plastic skeletons and fake cobwebs. The air inside the house is warmer and stickier compared to the cold air outside. Probably because there’s so many people. You swear it’s a bigger party than in the past.

You can barely see who anyone is because of how dark the house is. The colorful lights around the house have been used sparingly. The costumes don’t help much either.

“We should try and stick together,” Simone yells to you and Andrea. Her voice sounds muffled because of the loud music playing, having to work harder to hear her.

The three of you were able to find costumes, somewhat. Normally, yours would be more elaborate, but the best you could do is put on a red dress and devil horns and call it a day.

You and Andrea agree, the three of you moving as one. You trudge through the people around you, finding the drinks in the back of the house. They have everything from kegs to Jell-O shots.

As you all start pouring your drinks of choice, a voice startles Andrea.

“I thought you said you weren’t coming?” There’s an edge to Matt’s voice.

“I changed my mind. I am allowed to do that,” she says nonchalantly, sipping her drink.

“Yeah, after you said I was a horrible person for throwing a party at a time like this.”

You and Simone share a glance, trying not to stare at the heated exchange in front of you.

“It doesn’t matter anymore. I still think it wasn’t the best idea, but honestly who knows what’s a good idea. I’ve never had to deal with a serial killer before.”

“Yeah, me neither. But I doubt he’s here, so this is probably safer than being in your dorm.”

“That’s what we figured.” Andrea looks at you and Simone, giving a reassuring smile.

You don’t know what you would do if you didn’t have Andrea and Simone. A friendship like that is more important than any guy, and that’s something you’re coming to terms with.

“I really want to talk to you. Alone, if that’s okay,” he leans in closer to her.

She nods before looking at the two of you again. Before she can say anything else, Simone cuts her off.

“Go ahead. We’ll be fine.”

“See you later,” she says, taking Matt’s hand.

“At least someone’s having fun tonight,” Simone quips before chugging her drink.

You try to have a good time, but you can’t help but look for Rafe in every face you come across. You don’t even know what he dressed up as.

Maybe you shouldn’t have blown up at him like that. Especially, since you’re here anyways.

You also can’t help but scan the faces around you, looking for that mask. The same one that’s been on your mind since you saw it.

After a few drinks, you tell Simone you’ll be right back, declining her offer to go with you.

You think you can handle a few minutes upstairs by yourself.

As you wash your hands, you start to hear commotion coming from downstairs. You turn off the faucet, stopping to listen.

You realize that it’s sirens that you’re hearing. The music cuts out, a loud voice carrying through the house. You can’t tell exactly what they’re saying, but the decrease in noise tells you the party’s being broken up.

It’s probably best to stay in here.

You text Simone, asking her what’s happening.

You decide to take off the horns, leaving them on the counter, your head needing the break from the tight headband.

You check your phone again, still no response.

Once you hear complete silence, you leave the bathroom. You leave your purse and phone in the bathroom, thinking you’ll be back in a couple minutes.

You slowly step down the stairs. The lights are on and the only person you see is Dan.

He’s visibly annoyed, already starting to throw away plastic cups. He quickly notices you, sighing.

“Oh, I didn’t think you were coming tonight.” Before you can explain, he continues, “Have you seen Rafe? Or anyone who lives here? I swear they all disappeared.”

“No. I mean I saw Matt a while ago. He went somewhere with Andrea.”

“Of course,” he scoffs.

“Wait. Are you saying you don’t know where Rafe is? When was the last time you saw him?”

“Around the time people started showing up, I guess.”

“So, what happened? Did the cops show up?”

“Yeah, we got busted for throwing a party after curfew. Like I knew we would. We got a ticket, but I’m sure Rafe can deal with that. It’s the university I’m worried about. Who knows what they’re going to do.”

He looks up at you, finally, setting down the trash bag.

“Anyways, maybe we should try and find Rafe or Matt or someone.”

“Yeah.”

It’s all you can say. The fact that Rafe has completely vanished makes you uneasy, millions of thoughts swarming your brain.

You follow Dan back upstairs, deciding to knock on Matt’s door first.

He tries a few times, even calling out his name.

Nothing.

He hesitates at first but turns the doorknob anyway.

“Matt?”

The room is dark, but you think you see the outline of someone on the other side of the room.

“What the fuck? What am I stepping in?” Dan asks, looking down. “Can you turn the light on?”

You fumble with the light switch, the yellow lightbulb finally turning on.

That’s when you see it. Or him.

“Oh my God,” you say with your hand over your mouth, your lips opening involuntarily.

“Oh shit.”

You both stare at Matt’s mutilated body, slouching in his desk chair. Red soaks his shirt while his arm hangs down, blood dripping to the floor.

Dan looks down at his feet again, immediately stepping back.

It’s puddle of the same crimson that drips from Matt.

You stare at it, realizing that it can’t be from Matt. Your chest feels tight, and you look back at Dan with glassy eyes.

You drag your eyes to the door, knowing that once you look behind it, there’s no going back.

Clenching his jaw, Dan swings the door back.

“No. No. No.” You break down as you find Andrea sitting against the wall, lifeless. Blood stains her lips and chin and you can see where she was stabbed, the white lace of her bra now red.

You tear your eyes away from her, not being able to look at her like that. The girl who could make anyone laugh, gone forever.

You rush into the hallway, the air in the bedroom suffocating you. You feel like you’re going to pass out.

“I can’t fucking believe this,” Dan mutters to himself.

Tears have filled his eyes too. He takes a deep breath, collecting himself.

You’re bent over, trying not to throw up all over yourself.

“Y/N. We need to get out of here.”

Your eyes are still on the floor, Dan’s voice sounding like white noise.

He grabs your shoulder, “Y/N! We need to go now!”

You finally look over to see Dan’s wide eyes.

“We need to find Rafe,” you say, your voice cracking.

You can tell Dan wants to say something else, but he settles on agreeing.

“We can’t spend too long on this. If he’s not in his room, we’re leaving,” Dan tells you as you walk to Rafe’s room.

You don’t bother knocking, barging into his room.

Empty.

“His window’s open,” you unconsciously observe.

The curtains billow in the wind.

“That’s probably how the killer got in. We need to get out of this house.”

When you don’t budge, he screams, “Now!”

You snap out of your daze, trying not to think about how your boyfriend could be lying dead somewhere.

You and Dan run to the front door. You can almost taste your escape.

Dan swings open the door so fast, he doesn’t see the dark figure on the other side of the door.

You stop in your tracks and before you can say his name, Dan is yelling out and clutching his abdomen.

It only takes another second for the killer to drive his knife right into Dan’s neck.

You watch in horror, screaming as Dan stops moving.

The gloved hand pulls the knife back out, leaving Dan to fall to the floor with a thud.

Your fear affects you the same as the last time you were in a situation like this. Your feet won’t move even if you can feel the adrenaline pumping through your veins.

You expect the figure in front of you to run at you, killing you too. Instead, he stands there, tilting his head, as if he’s playing with you.

This is a game after all.

You finally start to budge, deciding that going through the back door would be better than going upstairs like last time.

You see his foot move, fingers adjusting his grasp on the knife. He’s getting ready to chase you, but you take your chances running away anyway.

You sprint through the kitchen, almost reaching the back door. Just as your fingers find the metal of the doorknob, a hand grabs your neck, pulling you back.

You try your hardest to rip the leather clad hand from your skin, you end up pushing against him, moving your body so you can use all your strength to shove him away from you.

His hand slips from you, breathing becoming easier. You use this advantage to run again, this time to the front door.

What you don’t anticipate is how slippery the floor has become. You lose your footing, hands and knees hitting the hard floor. You fall right into the puddle that has grown from Dan’s body, blood covering your exposed skin and the smell of copper filling your nose.

Dan’s lifeless body being this close to you makes you falter, fear clouding your mind.

You’re snapped out of it when you feel a hand on your ankle, trying to drag you towards him.

You let out a scream as he moves your body across the floor. When he lets up a little, you turn around to face him, kicking his leg.

He only falls back a little, but you crawl away from him. You try to stand up, but it’s hard to get traction on your heels from the blood on the floor.

You crawl around Dan’s body, not giving it a glance.

Just as you reach the open door, the killer is faster than you, blocking it with his body, looking down at you.

You take your next best option, finally able to stand up and run up the stairs. You left your phone in the bathroom, you could lock yourself in there and call the police.

You reach the hallway, the bathroom not too far from you.

But you’re just not fast enough.

He catches up to you, not letting you go this time.

He grabs you, pulling you into him, arms wrapping around you tight. The mask rubbing against the side of your face.

His fingers reach up to your neck, roughly tearing off the necklace that you haven’t been able to take off since Cori’s death.

He throws it to the floor, clattering on the hardwood.

Tears stream down you face as you know what’s coming next. You close your eyes tight as you anticipate the sharp blade penetrating your skin.

“I got you, baby.”

You feel everything stop, your blood turning to ice, and your breath catching in your throat.

“You’re okay.”

You slowly open your eyes at the familiar voice. You feel your stomach twisting into knots.

He continues to softly mutter in your ear.

“You’re mine now.”

You feel him shift, reaching up to take off the mask, his hood falling off in the process. You feel something in you break as you find his dirty blond hair and blue eyes.

There’s no more denying that it’s him.

It’s your boyfriend under the mask.

He throws the mask to the floor but keeps his knife in one hand.

Sobs erupt out of your mouth, it’s all you can do.

You feel him nuzzle into you, his lips on the top of your head. He tries to shush you, comforting you in his own twisted way.

That’s when you feel it, something poking your backside. It’s not his knife. You tear yourself away from his arms, wanting to get as far away from his as you can.

You try to still your trembling lip.

“What is wrong with you, Rafe?” Your voice is hoarse, but you struggle through the words.

You stare at him, still having a hard time processing everything that has happened in the last half hour.

His brow furrows like he doesn’t understand why you’re upset with him.

“I just wanted to protect you,” he says with a heaviness.

“Protect me from what? You’re the one who hurt… our friends.” Another sob leaves your lips.

“They were trying to get between us. Trying to… take you away from me.”

You can see the tears starting to fill his eyes.

“What are you talking about?”

“I thought killing Cori would be enough. She always said you that you were too good for me. And sometimes… I thought you loved her more than you loved me.”

He tries to blink the tears away, but they fall down his cheeks.

You’re speechless, the words not forming so he continues.

“But then Andrea, and Simone,” he pauses, shaking his head. “They wouldn’t leave you alone, and they didn’t have to say what I knew they were thinking.” Something settles in his eyes, darkness filling his voice. “So, I did what I had to do.”

“Wait, Simone? You-.” Your voice catches, the realization hitting you that she didn’t get away.

“I caught her outside before she could leave.”

Your tears fall into your mouth. All you can taste is the saltiness of them.

“Why Dan?”

“Dan always had a thing for you. I just didn’t think he would ever try doing anything about it,” Rafe spits out angrily, his eyes hardening. “Then all of a sudden, you’re telling me that you like him better.”

Your eyes shut, not believing what you’re hearing. “That’s not what happened. You still think that’s what I was saying?”

“That is what happened, Y/N. See, you don’t even realize how they were getting into your head.”

“No one was-.” You stop yourself, finding it to be no use arguing with him. “What’s your excuse for killing Matt? I barely even talked to him.”

“Matt was a tragic case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. But getting rid of him was for the best, I don’t need any loose ends.”

“Did you kill Chris too?”

You don’t even want to ask.

A sickening grin makes its way onto Rafe’s face.

“No. Chris is passed out in his room, thanks to what I slipped into his drink. I need someone alive to pin all this on.”

You take a second to think about his words.

“You’re going to frame an innocent man?”

“It’s either me or him. And it sure as hell isn’t going to be me.”

The nausea has gotten worse.

“Also, Chris is a douchebag, even you have to agree with that.”

“You’re sick, Rafe,” you say quietly.

The look on his face tells you he didn’t hear you.

“You’re sick,” you say with vitriol.

He steps closer to you, so you quickly step back.

“Stay away from me!”

He puts his hands up defensively, the knife still between his fingers.

“I’m not going to hurt you. I did this for us.”

“You just chased me all over the house! And what about that other night?”

“I thought scaring you would bring you closer to me.”

You’re not sure if you want to laugh or cry until you have nothing left in you.

You feel hopeless until you look over and see Rafe’s room, the plan of how you’re getting out of here already forming in your mind. Just lock him out and leave through the window.

You see his eyes follow yours and you dash for his door, trying to close it on him.

But just like he’s faster than you, he’s also stronger than you. He pushes the door open so hard. The doorknob cracks the wall.

“You still think you can get away from me? This is me going easy on you.”

“Rafe, please.”

You don’t know what else to do.

As you inch closer to the window, he grabs you away from it, your back being pushed against his chest.

“You want to know the other reason I chased you?” His warm breath tickles your ear.

I also thought it was fun. You being the helpless victim and all. Playing with you, leading you right where I wanted you.”

The knife in his hand is back at your chest, he trails it along your exposed skin, blood being left in its trail.

“Stop, Rafe. You’re scaring me.”

“Good.”

He moves the knife to your shoulder. You gasp as he cuts the strap of your dress with the blade.

“You know, it took everything in me not to bend you over and shove my cock inside you that night. And I could’ve, you were so scared, you would’ve let me do anything I wanted to you.”

He takes a second to glance over you, how your chest heaves, drinking you in with his hungry gaze.

“It’s not like you’ve been giving me much to work with. I’ve had to use all of the restraint I have, hoping it would mean you trusted me more. But instead, you blow me off, treating me like I’m second best,” he says the last sentence through clenched teeth.

Moving you closer to the bed, he pushes you down, pinning you down with his weight.

“I should’ve just taken you while you were sleeping next to me. Pinned to the mattress, no choice but to feel me deep inside you.”

You look up at him, his face blurry as you blink back the tears, lashes drenched.

“I would’ve done it if I had known it was going to be the only way for you to realize you’re mine. And only mine.”

He keeps the knife at your shoulder, pressing it into the skin, just enough to draw blood. You hiss at the pain, and he watches the deep red come to the surface.

He doesn’t waste a second before his mouth is on your wound, licking it, giving it a kiss.

He moves away, your blood staining his lips.

You’re horrified at the image.

But the taste is worse.

He presses his lips to your own. You try to keep your mouth closed, but he pushes his tongue inside, the taste of copper filling your mouth.

The feeling of leather on your thigh alarms you. He squeezes your skin before reaching under your dress, dipping a finger into your underwear.

“Please, Rafe. Stop,” more sobs rack your body.

He ignores your pleas as his lips find your neck. You push his shoulder, trying to get him off you. But he stays put, his finger continuing to rub you.

He adds another finger, pushing into your cunt. You gasp at the sudden intrusion. He moves them inside you, harsh in his movements. While he works you open, his mouth marks up your neck. Kissing, licking, and biting. Anything to get a reaction out of you.

You try to ignore the pleasure building inside you and you’re glad when he takes his fingers out of you. But that feeling doesn’t last for long.

Your stomach drops as he pushes your underwear down, fumbling with his jeans.

“Rafe!” You try pleading again, kicking and shoving, anything to get him off you.

Instead, Rafe puts all of his weight on top of you, grabbing your wrists and pinning them to the bed.

His lips part as he thrusts inside you, a strangled cry leaving your throat at the feeling of him stretching you open.

He keeps one of his hands on both of your wrists, bringing the other to your mouth, moving his fingers past your lips. You can taste yourself on the leather, and a hint of copper. Your stomach twists at not knowing where, or who, it’s from.

He pushes them down your throat, making you gag. His pace gets harder and quicker as he trails his spit-soaked fingers to your throat. Fear runs through your veins as he wraps his fingers around your neck.

“You’re mine,” he says through quick breaths. “And if you ever try to leave…”

He stares at your teary gaze, his thrusts becoming easier with how your body ignores your horror, betraying you instead.

“Just know how easy it is for me to do this.” He squeezes harder around your neck. “I could wring this pretty neck anytime I want.”

He lets up and a sob leaves your mouth.

You look up at him, trying to find the man you fell in love with.

The man who never let you leave his sight without a kiss or let you pay for dinner.

He looks like him, but there’s something different about his gaze, a darkness that wasn’t there before.

Or maybe you just never noticed it.

He pauses his movements as he flips you around, treating you like a ragdoll that he can use and do whatever he wants with.

A moan escapes you as he pushes back inside you. You can hear his skin slapping against yours, his pace almost unbearable. His moans have gotten louder, and you feel his hand on your head, keeping it glued to the mattress.

You can feel your orgasm approaching, horrified, but also not fighting against it.

You have no fight left in you.

Something snaps inside you, and you feel the pleasure wash over you. A whimper leaving your throat.

Your walls squeeze around him, and a groan escapes his lips. He stills, spilling into you.

He replaces his hand with his lips, kissing your hair and breathing you in.

“I’m not ever letting you go,” he whispers against you.

~

Tags: @fangirlwithlou @softcoreparadise @thebuttofcaptainamerica

[apollostears]

COLLEGE CONFESSIONS [ jjk ]

↬︎ anime: jujutsu kaisen

↬︎ featuring: nanami kento, suguru geto, fushiguro toji, choso kamo, & satoru gojo

↬︎ warning(s): swearing, college!au, all characters are 18+, mentions of blood

PLOT. in new girl style, you become roommates with five men from your university.

ADVISORY. reader is black and female, unless stated otherwise.

college series

➟︎ meeting the boys was simultaneously the best, and worst, thing that could ever happen to you.

➟︎ on some new girl shit, you ended up rooming with them bc rent was cheap and it was close to campus.

➟︎ nanami, choso, toji, geto, & gojo all lived in this huge penthouse a few blocks down from university (shoutout to them niggas having money). it was two penthouses put into one and it was home to some of the biggest hoes you had ever met.

➟︎ it’s complete chaos.

➟︎ you share a bathroom with toji, whose nonexistent most of the time bc he’s out doin illegal shit (underground fighting) or fuckin random girls.

➟︎ none of them are completely messy, but there has been several times where you have tripped over shoes and slipped on socks because of them.

➟︎ it’s very rare that all of you are in the house at the same time other than to sleep.

➟︎ choso takes you to campus with him since he goes the same time you go. nanami is the one that’ll take you home. or geto. but they will not allow you to ride public transportation.

➟︎ partially because they’re bougie and also because they know how unsafe it is alone on campus.

➟︎ toji owns a small tattoo and piercing shop that choso and geto work at when they aren’t doing internships.

➟︎ besides geto and nanami, nobody cooks. everyone uses the ninja blender though and the air fryer.

➟︎ sometimes, on wash days, you guys will combine shirts and pants to save time but wash everything else separately. everyone but gojo is allowed to wash bc he will fuck up y’all’s clothes.

➟︎ there is a weekend out of every month where you guys just do whatever you want to do. either together or alone.

➟︎ it usually ends up with geto cooking sunday breakfast and all of you watching some movie. maybe even going to a frat party or watching toji fight.

➟︎ they’ve come to like you more than they thought they would. honestly didn’t plan on interacting with you but you grew on them. now they’re your unofficial, official, sugar daddies without the sugar. (although…😉)

➟︎ pls don’t ever buy anything with your own money and let them catch you. they will reimburse you plus interest, for no reason.

➟︎ honestly, you have yet to figure out why they even spoil you the way they do.

➟︎ nanami is a business major with toji. choso is an art major with a focus in architecture and history. gojo is pre-law and geto is a bioengineering major for healthcare services.

➟︎ toji scared the shit out of you at first, all broody and shit. but y’all really bonded after he came back late from a particularly brutal fight and you were up finishing an assignment when you saw him. he looked like he could barely stand and after that, y’all just grew closer.

➟︎ you and gojo have a strong love-hate relationship because how can someone so smart be so dumb?? has gotten you caught up several times.

➟︎ nanami helps you study and it’s so nice because you don’t even ask most of the time, but he’ll hit you up and ask if you have anything you need help with.

➟︎ geto practices his sketches on you all the time to see how it will look.

➟︎ choso and you will use his architecture skills to draw up your dream home 😭. he’s went through ten sketches already.

➟︎ you hang out at the tattoo shop anytime you’re free. sometimes you’ll go there after classes and just do homework until someone comes to the front desk needing help.

➟︎ you cannot play any games with any of these niggas because they ALL CHEAT!

➟︎ choso almost got to scrapping with gojo over a game of chutes and ladders.

➟︎ i feel like nanami likes reading and if you like reading, you guys have your own little book club.

➟︎ gojo takes you on shopping sprees. but it’s literally because he likes going out and drags you with him cause no one else will go.

➟︎ fairytale shit aside…living with these niggas is like fighting demons.

➟︎ nanami got a headache every damn hour bc of gojo so then he snappy like denzel in fuckin training day.

➟︎ toji moody af and releases that anger by having relations almost every night with a new bitch. you can never get sleep and almost always end up sleeping in choso’s room.

➟︎ geto has such a slick mouth, he be causing riots at five am cause he called choso’s mama a hoe. choso don’t play about his mama.

➟︎ gojo will have girls over for the night but never kick them out. so then y’all wakin up to some rando, wearing geto’s shirt that gojo stole and eating nanami’s meal prepped breakfast.

➟︎ you silently escort her out before she witnesses a murder.

➟︎ and ALL five of them purposefully bother you at all hours of the day.

➟︎ talkin to a man? oh, not on geto’s watch. now your ‘boyfriend’ shows up to take you home while threatening the guy you were talking to.

➟︎ you in the shower with the door unlocked again? toji’s coming in to take a shit and gojo’s going to turn the lights off and throw some rubber animal in the shower with you.

➟︎ they both, rightfully so, get they ass beat by you and nanami.

➟︎ thinking about going grocery shopping for the apartment? you better pray to god you leave before them otherwise they will try to tag along and end up adding more shit than necessary, into the cart. y’all once had an $800 grocery bill.

➟︎ gojo stay wearing yo wigs. you don’t complain much bc he’s the one that buys them, and he buys the good kind, but if you see him saying ‘stiff where?’ in the mirror ONE MORE TIME!

➟︎ living with them is a nightmare dressed like a daydream literally.

↬︎ join the taglist: @rubinocore @nyxeclipse @sweeneyblue1 @knjkitten@namjoonswifeyy @sunrayyellowhalo @pimpnameyannie @brownmochi

[katsukikitten]

Hello friends! Here is my contribution to the Bakugou Birthday Bash! The master link will be linked here ! Please enjoy my bit of an angsty fic! And all of the other art and works that are on the master list! Enjoy the big bakugou blow out and remember to leave a comment on your favorite pieces! Happy birthday ya shitty man! (Lowkey become 3d please)

Warning: he's 28 btw 😂 (my fic says so also)

It shouldn't be this fucking hard to get groceries and booze. It's a quick and easy errand. Everything already pre-ordered for an important birthday that just needed to be picked up. And yet here you were crying in your car trying to get it together before the attendant asked for the order name. Honestly you had texted out "I can't do this today. Sorry." Several times before deleting it, telling yourself not to hit send. But you would have to be having the worst mental day of your life wouldn't you? Today of all days, how fucking selfish of you.

Especially with the amount of time and effort you and Kirishima had put into this idea. Since New Year's actually, months and months of planning after the two of you had gotten shit faced at Denki and Mina's new years party, creating the brain child. All after bonding over switching patrol partners six months before, you had gotten Bakugou and he had gotten Ashido. Kirishima and yourself giggle over stupid things to the side of the party, people watching as you took shots. Kirishima points towards a normally grumpy blonde.

"Wow I think he's actually having fun." You snort, as you watch Bakugou hide his rare cat smile behind a sip of his beer as Mina makes Denki the butt of a joke.

"He actually loves parties. He never says it so people just think he's a wet blanket." Kirishima laughs, pouring the two of you another shot. Bakugou lets out a particularly loud laugh after 'Dunce Face' proves Mina's point. I guess that would be the time that it started.

When you started to fall. His laugh makes your cheeks deepen in hue and burn, to want to hear it again, to watch it again and learn all of the other sides of your patrol partner that he obviously only reserved for his closest friends.

"Let's throw him a great birthday party." You say, holding up your shot as a devilish smile spreads over sharp teeth. The mountainous man clinks your shot glass before he adds.

"Let's." In unison the two of you down the burning liquid as the plan comes into fruition.

Four months, four months and nineteen days of you thinking of nothing but your patrol partner with whom you got extremely close with since New Year's. So why? Why today of all days were you struggling? Why would normal everyday tasks feel more as if you were wading through mud than the breeze they should have been? You flip down the visor, looking yourself in the eye through little square mirror as you grit your teeth hissing

"Get your shit together."

Your little pep talk helps you get the several cakes and the cart full of booze that everyone requested, planning to make this the best birthday ever. Helping Kirishima set his house up with decorations, setting out the snacks, catering and even pouring some drinks as guests began to arrive to set down their gifts and help with the last minute touches before hiding. Masking through the pit in your stomach as you smiled at all of your friends as they poured in through Kirishima's door. Through the weighted emptiness you felt as each one wrapped you into a tight hug, already praising you and Kirishima for the amazing effort, that Bakugou would be so surprised when it was more than just you and Kirishima here. . Finally you had to go and get the guest of honor just before sundown to catch him before he went to bed. A much needed breather from the constant smiling and forcing a laugh that everyone thought sounded genuine.

Enjoying the silence of the evening train as it pulled you across town to the unsuspecting blonde. And maybe you could have made it through the night from your shitty pep talk or at least through getting the freshly 28 year old to his party but instead you catch your reflection in the window. Your facial features weighted with exhaustion, shoulders hunched allowing your body to continue to produce cortisol. Tears prick your eyes as you deep low, too low. Remembering everything and nothing all at once, steeping in guilt as you beg yourself for just a few more hours. That the depression episode can happen when you're home and alone, after the party goes off without a hitch. Tears fall anyway and they do all the way to Bakugou's until you finally get enough control to step out of yourself for a moment. Ringing the doorbell several times as a smile is plastered on your face, the door swings open. Bakugou's eyes narrow as they take you in, he notices that something is off. Your smile is a little too wide, your eyes rimmed red but he says nothing about it. Instead he lets his initial anger come forth.

"Oi! I told you to fuckin' text me when you were on the train so I could meet you at the station!" He growls, slamming his door shut and pocketing his keys. Deadly and sweaty hands deep in the pockets of his leather jacket as his palms itch to hold onto something else. Garnet eyes track your own hands as you reach over your head stretching.

"Yea yea, I hear you Dad." You tease giving him a look, "I still made it okay."

"Kirishima should have come instead of you that fuckin hair for brains." He snarls keeping pace with you as he always does on patrol.

"I know Dad must be sad cause his favorite didn't come to pick him up." You try not to sound dejected, nudging him in the ribs to distract from the crack in your voice, "Happy birthday ya big lug."

Bakugou cuts you a glare, mind racing before his barks out a "Thanks."

Comfortable silence stretches between the two of you before you two hit the train station, passing a corner store.

"Was shitty hair burning dinner? Do I need to stop for back up?" His thumb hooks over his shoulder towards the neon as he stands idle waiting for you to jog your memory. Kirishima had burned the last friend's dinner making Bakugou so angry he walked six blocks to make something that was 'FUCKIN EDIBLE!' while you tried to air out his apartment. You laugh loudly, genuinely for the first time that day causing Bakugou's shoulders to sag with relief. In the ten months he had been working with you he had only seen you faking a smile or laugh once or twice. Then the time after that you were absent from work the next day or two forcing him to patrol with Denki but worse yet...making him worry.

"Guess I'll grab something just in case." He gave you his back so you wouldn't see his face or the faint blush that dusted his cheeks.

"No, no! I ordered out this time. From that famous chef you like." Bakugou glares your way, digging in his back pocket for his wallet.

"How much." He demands through gritted teeth while you show him the palms of your hands in surrender.

"Woah woah! It's your birthday gift! You can't pay me back for dinner! I'd sooner burn the money before I'd accept it from you!" Your watch dings with a message from Kirishima asking for an ETA. You grab onto Bakugou's hand pulling him along into a run as you shout over your shoulder.

"We're gonna be late!"

Oh how Bakugou wished you hadn't done that, he was already struggling to keep his heart beat even when you were around and now to grab onto him. To pull him along in a hurry like those cheesy insta posts that couples did on their "grand adventure" together. He swallows the lump in his throat as he reminds himself that you are nothing more than his patrol partner. His friend at best.

Even though the train was mostly empty Bakugou stood closely by you, as he always did when the two of you were in a crowded space. He had seen how most men took advantage of the situation and he hated the idea of that happening to you although he knew you were more than capable of handling it on your own. Hell you could kick even his ass but he would die before ever admitting that. Instead he watches you talk about what you ordered for dinner and how you got the cake from that bakery Sato works part time at, the same one he got your birthday cake from but he doesn't hear a word. Instead all he can see is the golden light from the setting sun worshiping you. Kissing your skin to make it glow, giving your eyes a hue that makes his heart fall into his stomach and illuminating you in a true light. A radiant ethereal thing is what you were and Bakugou was just lucky enough to be standing by you. So out of it he doesn't realize the two of you are at your stop.

"Uh Suki?" Your voice is soft paired with the setting sun has him acting weird. He leans closer to you, pulled by some invisible force before he stops himself as he watches you look up at him beneath long lashes.

"You okay?" You ask almost nervously from his proximity, the smell of spice and caramel wrap around you making you feel warm and fuzzy. Temporarily making you forget that you were trying to act on the train, making you relax as you just talked to Bakugou. He sucks his teeth as he picks up your bag to sling over his shoulder.

"Yea but you were gonna forget your whole damn purse like you always do." He huffs, this time he was the one pulling at your hand in a rush before the doors closed to trap you two on the train. His hand feels warm in yours, his grip tight as he drags you along before pulling you within his sight, another habit of his you happened to notice. Almost reluctantly he lets go of you hand as Kirishima's house comes into view.

"We better have a good time tonight patrol Princess or you owe me a special birthday gift." He laughs causing you to roll your eyes at his stupid nickname that stuck after your first day with him, adamant that the two of you take your route instead of his it was a huge argument. But it was a good thing he listened to the "princess", it put the two of you smack dab in the middle of a robbery. You stick out your tongue.

"Trust me. You're gonna have a good time!" You push him up the steps as he bats away your hands. Opening the front door before everyone jumps out of various and bad hiding spots.

"SURPRISE!!" All of the alumni of class A and some of B shout, a select few already slurring their words. Bakugou's scowl turns into a smirk before he looks over his shoulder at you.

"Aw you did this to me?" His voice is teasing but his eyes almost sparkle, you nod encouraging him to go deeper into the party. As he does people flock to him laughing and yelling out happy birthday until he's sick of hearing it. All the while your smile wanes with the night. Until an hour in that heavy episode hits you full force. Numbness setting in where happiness should be, rotting as it turns to shame and guilt as you watch your friend, your crush, enjoy his night. Bringing a glass bottle to his lips as he talks with Kirishima, who then presses a shot into his hands. Bodies dancing to the house music that beat out of the speakers competing with chatter and laughter.

It felt weird to watch everyone truly enjoying themselves while you felt low. It felt more as if you were standing outside of the house, looking in through the window to see everyone enjoying themselves, no one even knowing who you were as you stared in.

You felt distant, alone. What a shitty way to feel in a room full of people, none of it being their fault and so the guilt pressed harder. Eyes watering as they lingered on the blonde who deserved this celebration and more. Making you decide to give the best birthday gift of them all.

To slip away upstairs and onto the roof, to give the room space to breathe when you felt like suffocating.

Crying to no one but the moon.

And no one noticed. Two hours slip by before Kirishima insists that Bakugou make a wish and eat cake before everyone gets too drunk too. The entire house drunkenly sings happy birthday but Bakugou notices a voice missing. Yours that's just a touch off key, not to mention he didn't hear you say the stupid nickname 'Suki' where his name should be in the song. Plus you weren't one to miss out on dessert. For as long as Bakugou has been working with you, you never turned down the opportunity for sweets. Whether that was taking the long way back to the agency to try to catch a certain street vendor or to hover by the deserts at a party to pick the very best treat.

And if it was a birthday party, you never could shut up that y'all could not leave until after they blew out the candles and made a wish.

His eyes linger for a second longer, making sure he didn't miss you before his heart sinks. He takes in a sharp inhale, thinks on his wish and blows out the candles.

Meanwhile you hear the cheers of everyone down stairs and sob into your knees. You missed your favorite part of birthdays. Of hoping they make a wish that comes true, of watching their face as they think of something quickly or how some people tear up when they finally realize just how loved they are on their birthday.

It isn't long after that do you hear the sound of combat boots on shingles. Whipping your head up in the direction of the sound. Stomach clenching with guilt as you watch Bakugou walking towards you with a slice of cake.

"Brought ya some cake, since I didn't hear you sing off key to me." He says sinking down beside you as you furiously wipe at your tears.

"I'm-um."

"You don't gotta explain yourself to me." He snarls as you stare dumbly at your cake, "You know that."

"I know…" Silence passes slowly, the moon shines overhead and the party carries on below.

"Well, I'm waiting!" Bakugou says dramatically, "You gonna sing or am I gonna have to sing to myself?"

"Oh." It makes you giggle a bit before you blush, realizing he is serious. You take a deep breath before singing "just off key" when you don't, to him.

"Sukiiiiii!" Relief washes over his features when he hears the dumb ass name, "Happy birthday to youuuuuu!"

"Okay, now you can eat the damn cake." He grunts, his smile never wavering as he looks to the empty street below. You follow his eyes, chewing the inside of your lip, setting the cake down.

"What'd you wish for…" Curiosity gets the better of you and earns his intense gaze. He smirks, scoffing at the end.

"You always say you shouldn't tell or it won't come true." He laughs at your pout, before he finally admits "I wished for courage."

With a furrowed brow you give him a puzzled look, he just holds your gaze.

"Why? You're like the bravest hero I know!" Bakugou can hear the truth in your voice, you aren't saying it just to fucking stroke his ego.

You actually meant it, making this conversation that much harder.

"Yea except when it comes to this one thing I want to do. Its fuckin easy and I've done it hundreds of times just as I'm about to do it I fucking back down cause I'm probably fuckin reading into things too much." He leans in closer, again his smell mesmerizes you, causing your body to visibly relax, "Too much of a fuckin bitch, thinking she doesn't want me like I want her. So I wished for the courage to follow through. To fuckin' just do it."

Your heart is racing out of your chest before one of his hands finds the nape of your neck pulling you into a feverish kiss. Teeth gnashing from the passion, lips perfectly modeling to the other before tongues lightly dance around one another. Lengthening seconds into hours with just a few head tilts and plush lips. You moan into his mouth, he pulls away, eyes clouded with lust as a string of spit connects your tongues. He pants, face flushed and his hand warm, almost burning at the nape of your neck, the shingle by his hand charred from restraint as he pants out.

"I wished for you."

[may-tine]

Someone who has never watched TMNT Rise reacts to the movie

@gauntletknight​ this is for you

so the last tmnt anything i watched was the 1990 live action film and the 2003 cartoon, when i was like 7? so we are off to a great start, but lets get into it

hey what, why are we in hell

okay wow Casey is here already i remember him

hey MIKEY??? WHAT im sorry does leo have a metal arm?

are we opening with time travel WHAT

WHY IS CASEY JONES FROM THE FUTURE.WASNT HE JUST SOME PUNK FROM NEW YORK?

I just watched a man die.

things keep happening and i cant put my thoughts down- oh i JUST WATCHED ANOTHER MAN DIE

alright pausing for half a sec to get thoughts down, this is a wild opening, tho i guess for a movie you need some higher stakes then a normal show. Im pretty sure the normal show is more classic turtle hijinks. aight back to it

actaully whats the krang? was that in the original? Are we going to see shredder?

oop yep classic teenage turtle hijinks

now i dont remember much but i remember Donnie and Leo being kinda hard to distinguish personality wise. Im glad they put some further characterization on them both

Mikey is somehow more childish?  but like in a babyish way

oh yeah Raph is the leader this time around.

okay so the magic thing is already established in the show, and Shredder has been dealt with?

oh buddy

WHO THE FUCK ARE THESE RANDOS?

I think Donnie was always tech but was he always THIS tech? Damn son

music is super funky

Eyy foot clan! wait these are shredders guys arnt they?

Raph is still mostly angry but hes like, softer. and WHY IS LEO BEING SUCH AN ASS! is he always like this?

Rat dad! We Love splinter

this version of casey is so weird compared to what im used too, i dont hate him tho

yoo wait thats April? APRIL STEALS?

Yo  have they been training her as a ninja as well? good for her- APRIL DONT STEAL RANDOM CHEMICALS

Oh this is begging to go wron- yep

this entire interrogation scene is amazing

Okay i do adore this casey

shit is it really like, too late, too late?

god this krang thing is heking creepy why are they blocks

OH THE MAGICS OFF, right after i noticed April had magic too

oof Splinters out cold

Do they have a pod for casey? ok yeah- oh leo no

wha

hey waat the fucK? RAPH?

oh god the you survived banner is about to NOT be funny

nooo hes turning on casey

oh god the powers are still gone

Raph isnt captured... is he?

COMMANDER?

oh he is captured, kinda surprised there

ah hostage situation got it- HEY WHAT THEY FUCKKKKK

AHHHHH?????? bye foot clan

same mikey

AHHHHH HIVE MIND

oh caseys about to ruin the mood

or hype them up

oh no reveals are being delayed

GOD  this is horrifying isnt this a kids show?

HEY LEO I THINK THEY SAW YOU COMING!

APRIL HAS A MOTORCYCLE YESSSS (did she have that orginally? maybe?)

Im worried how single minded Leo is getting about this, but at the same time, i get it.

THEY POSSESSED A TRAIN???

SOFT SHELL? oh your kidding

Oh god dont possess the tank

APRIL NO- oh, april yess

Ive never been so scared of a train in my life

WHY IS THIS A STRAIGHT UP HORROR????

WHY DID SHE STEAL SO MANY????

Casey with the call out!- oh not like that kiddo no

yep like cops will do anything- WHY ARE THEY GOOP LIKE THAT, Its too fleshy my guy.

Casey what was that smirk?  Did you do this on purpose?

Mickey with the mystic hands stuff worries me cuase is LITERALLY KILLED HIM

oh the triangulation scene ive seen this

oh no

oh raph is not going to be raph once hes out of there is he

AH I HATE BEING RIGHT

WAIT I THINK I SAW FANART OF THIS EARLIER TODAY I THOUGHT IT WAS SOME AU

WE ARE HITTING FINAL HOUR SHIT AND ITS ONLY HALF WAY THROUGH THE MOVIE????

god krang raph is so spooky

HEEY FAM? HEY TMNT FANS??? ARE YOU GUYS GOOD??? i was not expecting such levels of cosmic horror 

wait why does a turtle have eyebrows?

god the krang possessed tech is the worst, horrific,OH GOD WHAT IF THE TURTLE TANK.

shout out to Donnie having a step counter, same buddy.

i do enjoy the art style

oh why he sound like that

god the animation on krang raph is upsetting

I do adore this mikey as well, i was thinking i wouldnt liked this take on ‘immature’ but hes growing on me

OH NOOO DOnnie no dont do it oh god the goop

guys WTF

GUYS WTF

I DONT LIKE DONNIE IN THERE

AHH THAT EYE

WTFWTFWTFWTF

Hello?? am i about to cry over turtles??

MYSTIC POWERS!!!!!! What about the power cancel?

oh yeah B team. Love that Aprils first idea is dropping a building on somthing

AHHH THATSD A BEAM THROUGH AN EYE AAA, like its an alien but ye

YOOOO MIKEYYYY JUST THROWS A BUILDING

Oh this is so sick

yeee the anti power stuff or not? they still work?

Leo damn it dont do the self sacrificial shit YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT SCREWED YOU UP WHEN RAPH DID IT

hot moment to appreciate the Krang mechs, great monster designs

HAHA PORTAL FUCKERY

Casey my boy ; _ ;

oh god it ended on a portal chop

whats he holdin- NOOOOOOO DONT DO THAT TO ME

ONE OF THEM IS STILL ALIVE AHHH

MIKEY NO DONT HURT YOURSELF

HES CRACKING- THEY ALL ARE AHH

WAIT THIS IS GONNA LET KRANG BACK IN

QUICK SAVE YEAAAAA

ive only been to new york once whats wrong with Staten island

Casey gets pizza!!!

WHo the hek is Cassandra- UH OH

oh this ending song is a banger

WELL That was a lot of fun and SUPER DARK WHAT. At least I get the hype now. I dont know if ill start the actual series but I will be rooting for a s3 for all the fans

[nethandrake]

Blood In The Water

stevethortony. mcu. rated t. 1.8k words.

based on this fanart i commissioned from​ @justlous-art

also on ao3.

*****

Press conferences, in Clint’s opinion, are one of the worst things he has to experience.

Every time the Avengers has to host one (which is usually almost every fucking week), it’s always the same old reporters throwing accusations, the same old debates being tosses around, the same old headaches and boredom creeping into his mind. They always end with everyone in a shitty mood.

The only upside Clint could see is that he only needs to speak up if a question’s directed his way. Otherwise, it’d be their co-leaders’ job to fend the wolves off.

Their co-leaders who are currently and unfortunately answering another stupid question from the press.

“Yes, Stark Industries will be footing the bill,” Steve says tiredly.

“We always do,” Tony chimes in. “Now, you with the green-striped tie. You’re up.”

The journalist in question straightens, fixing his tie. Clint doesn’t remember seeing him at any of the conferences but he looks awfully familiar.

“He’s from Fox News,” Natasha supplies next to Clint.

It takes everything in Clint to not bash his smash his face against the conference table. “Shit.”

“Shit indeed.”

“It is no secret that Mr Stark is, to put it lightly,” Fox Man begins, his reedy voice making Clint’s skin crawl, “promiscuous—”

“What does this have to do with the giant squid we took down?” Steve interrupts.

“—and have been known to get into relationships with men, women—”

“What is the point of this?” Thor cuts in, his cool demeanor now turned irritated. “We are deviating from the—”

“My question to you, Captain,” Fox Man continues, unperturbed, “is, what are your thoughts regarding Mr Stark and Mr Odinson’s…relationship?”

Tony stills as murmurs begin to fill the room. Pepper immediately whips her tablet out.

It’s not the first time Clint’s heard of rumors of the Avengers dating amongst themselves but it’s never been brought up during their press conferences.

First time for everything, he supposes.

Thor jumps to his feet, slamming his hands on the table. Outside, thunder crackles.

“You dare—”

Steve isn’t doing much better to rein his temper in, leaning forward with a dangerous glint behind his eyes. “I’d be careful with what you say next. Rumors of the Avengers fraternizing isn’t new so—”

“Oh, this isn’t just a rumor,” Fox Man says coolly. He jumps to his feet, holding out his phone. “I happen to have…proof.”

In a flash, Happy strides over, most likely to block the man’s path like the good Head of Security he is. Steve waves him off, beckoning for the device to be handed over to Clint.

On the phone is a picture of Thor and Tony kissing in a dimly lit alleyway. Or at least, men who are supposedly Thor and Tony. It’s hard to tell since the quality’s crap.

Then again, they’re both bathed in a soft blue glow. A soft blue glow that Clint’s come to associate with the arc reactor.

“That isn’t photoshopped,” Fox Man claims. “If you swipe left, you’ll find a video.”

True enough, there is one of Thor pushing Tony against the wall and god, that’s so gross. Who knows what’s on that wall—

Natasha snatches the phone out of Clint’s grasp, giving it a long once-over.

“Thoughts?” Clint murmurs.

“It looks authentic,” she admits.

Well, then. Fuck.

When the phone ends up in Steve’s grasp, Clint swears cracks form on the screen.

“I would like to know if there have been…issues between you and Mr Stark,” Fox Man continues like the oblivious idiot he is. Clint’s ready to reach pluck an arrow from his quiver and pin the asshole to a wall. “You come from a different time, a time where traditional and wholesome American values are valued. Mr Stark isn’t known for possessing such values. And it is widely known that you and Mr Stark did not get along. And with this…alien—”

“I get it,” Steve growls. It’s been a while since Clint’s seen in this furious. He looks ready to pounce, if Tony hasn’t stilled him in place.

Steve’s features meld into something soft, a look that Clint’s privately coined as the ‘Tony Look’. Oddly, it’s the same look he flashes Thor. The three of them trade glances, glances that only a super soldier, a god, and a genius would know. Tony’s lips curl into a reassured smirk. The other follow suit.

Clint wonders if that’s how Natasha and him are like. Because damn, he gets why people think it’s eerie.

“First of all, let me be clear about this,” Steve begins, “I will not let you or anyone disrespect my friends like that ever again. This is a warning to the rest of you all as well. You, however, I’ll make sure you’ll be banned from the next conference. And don’t think I won’t remember your face. Because I will. I have a good memory. As for your question, I don’t have anything to say about that. But I do have something to show you.”

Without hesitation, Steve leans over to capture Tony’s lips in his.

Clint would’ve toppled over if Natasha hadn’t steadied his chair.

“That’s…”

“Bold?”

“I was gonna say unexpected,” Clint says. “But yeah, sure. Let’s go with that.”

It’s an open secret among the Avengers that Steve and Thor have been hopelessly pining for Tony for months, even going so far as trying to outdo each other with their efforts of wooing Tony.

Judging by the way Tony’s cupping Steve’s face as they make out and the shit-eating grin Thor has plastered on as he saunters over to the two, it seems like they’ve come to a mutual agreement. A silent mutual agreement.

How the fuck did this escape the rest of their notice? Of Clint’s notice? Steve and Thor are two of the least subtle people around. The fact that they and Tony could keep their relationship on the downlow is blowing Clint’s mind.

Steve and Tony part with a quiet smack. Tony turns in his seat to fist Thor’s shirt to give his own kiss.

“I think my brain’s short-circuiting.”

Natasha scoffs. “You’re acting as if you’ve never seen two men kiss in your life.”

“Well, I’ve never seen my friends kiss each other,” Clint hisses. “You gotta cut me some slack here. I mean, look at Bruce.”

“Bruce looks fine.”

“His eyebrows look like they’re gonna climb off his forehead.”

Steve’s cheeks are flaming red when he shyly turns back to the stunned crowd in front of him. His expression quickly turns icy when he meets Fox Man’s eyes, who looks torn between hiding in a hole or lighting the rest of them on fire.

“Does that answer your question?” he challenges. “Or do you need me to give you another demonstration?”

Thor doesn’t let Fox Man reply, smirking as he inches over to Steve. “I dare say we have not finished his question, my love.”

And with that, he seals Steve’s lips with his.

Clint almost passes out.

“Okay,” Natasha says. “Now, that? That I didn’t see coming.”

Tony’s all smiles as he watches his boyfriends (boyfriends!!!!!) make out in front of everyone. It’s the smuggest and proudest he’s ever seen him.

“Suck it,” he says into the microphone, casually flipping off Fox Man, who looks like he’s ready to explode.

For some unexplainable reason, the rest of the journalists zero in on Clint after that.

“Don’t look at me,” he says, hands held high. “I ain’t kissing them.”

Natasha smirks. Bruce covers his grin behind his sleeve.

Out of the corner of Clint’s eyes, Pepper rubs her temples and pops a pill.

*****

The next day, Clint and the rest of the Avengers pile into one of the stuffy conference rooms on the helicarrier because according to Tony, ‘Eye Patch is in the mood to ream their asses’. Which is so, so unfair since Clint wasn’t the one who made out with his boyfriends in front of the press. Why the hell did he need to face Fury’s wrath when he wasn’t the one to out himself to the press?

Much to no one’s surprise, said boyfriends don’t show up.

Fury’s scowl is much more steely than usual when he storms in, slamming a newspaper onto the table.

Emblazoned on the front page is a picture of Tony flipping the camera as Steve and Thor make out in the background. Avengers: Gay Orgy?!, its heading screams.

“Is there something you people wanna tell me?” Fury begins icily.

“There is no orgy going on between the six of us,” Natasha immediately answers.

“Or five,” Bruce adds.

Clint nods his head, gesturing towards the newspaper. “Yup, yup. The only Avengers having an orgy are them.”

Fury raises an eyebrow. “And what the hell do you call this, then?”

“A threesome,” Natasha replies.

Clint frowns at her. “But that’s not even a threesome. They weren’t even having sex.”

“Threesome could mean three people as a group,” Bruce offers.

“Ah.”

“Speaking of threesomes, where the hell are Stark and—”

A resounding crash cuts Fury off, jolting everyone in their seats.

Everyone hustles out and makes a beeline for the conference room next door. Clint gets into position, readying himself to let his arrow fly.

He expects AIM beekeepers, HYDRA goons, or even Doombots. Instead, they’re greeted by the sight of the conference table cracked, the room in disarray, and the other half of the Avengers in a tangle of limbs.

Tony has sandwiched himself between his boyfriends as he sucks the soul out of Steve. Next to them, Thor glances up at Clint and the rest, beaming and flashing them a thumbs-up before Tony drags him into a kiss.

Clint’s going to need bleach for his eyes when he gets home.

“Are you sure the squid didn’t spray them with sex pollen or something?” he begins tentatively.

“Nope,” Bruce replies. “We got checked over, remember?”

“Twice,” Natasha adds.

Steve has the decency to look ashamed when he catches sight of them. He pries his boyfriends apart before jumping to his feet in haste. “Director! I– We were just—”

“Late,” Tony continues for him. “Sorry about that but—”

“We were distracted,” Thor declares.

“I’ll pay for everything,” Tony adds.

Fury looks absolutely murderous.

Clint clasps his hands. “Well! I think it’s safe to say that we all need a break. Or bleach. How about we adjourn this meeting for a while and—”

“Three of you are dismissed. But you three,” Fury jabs his fingers at Steve, Thor, and Tony in turn, “stay. We need to talk.”

Steve’s cheeks darken. Thor puffs his chest. Tony grins lazily. Their hair is disarray, their clothes wrinkled, their lips red and puffy and— Clint is not going to think about that. Nope. Not at all. Not if he wants to sleep at night.

Natasha immediately makes a beeline for the door. Bruce wipes his glasses with his shirt, following after her.

Out of the corner of Clint’s eyes, Fury rubs his temples and pops a pill.

*****

True to his word, Tony ends up paying for all the damages incurred on the helicarrier. All twenty thousand dollars’ worth of damages.

Clint couldn’t look at Conference Room Three the same way ever again.

*****

also on ao3.

[donaidk]

Marcus Armstrong - Almost Home I.

In advance: This is getting a Part 2 for sure. I don’t want to leave it here, but at the same time I felt like it would be really long if I left it in one piece. Turns out I have a whole lot of inspiration for Marcus fics right now. 😂 I also wanna let everyone, who’s waiting for their request, know that uni is starting next week for me. It means less free time, but I will make sure to finish every one of them in the next week or so, and then focus on all the series I started. There’s gonna be slower updates to them, but I’ll make sore to have one or two per week at least. Hopefully they won’t try to kill us in the starting weeks and I will finish up the Lando one so I could start posting that every week and just add some parts from the others to the queue 😊

Thank you Anon for requesting this one though, and sorry for the wait. Hope you will enjoy it and as it’s almost the next day here, have a really happy start to your Friday everyone 🧡

Kind of Taglist: @mickschumcher​, @art-gp​

Title Song | Masterlist | Taglist/Queue | Request

With the Australian GP knocking on the door Melbourne filled up with tourists and fans even more than usual. The first time I got to witness it in 2017 was actually scary in a way for someone who didn’t know the city well yet. Getting from one part of the city to another was a hard task already, and all the shouting and crazy fans weren’t of much help when I tried to get some usable info out of them so I could finally get to my destination and get off the streets. It almost held me back from choosing Melbourne’s university, but I had to remind myself that it was just once a year and I shouldn't give up my plans because of it. Melbourne was beautiful and their schools were highly rated, giving me everything for a stable future. Luckily I was never disappointed by my choices as it was easy to get used to the life here and I even found some new friends who helped me every time I felt homesick. It wasn’t the worst usually, as I was truly content with how my life was going, but sometimes it just hit me out of nowhere and in those moments they were always there for me.

It was now the third year when we lived through the race weekend, meaning we finally had a working schedule with which we still followed our usual plans but stayed out of the bigger crowds. Although we were in the middle of the semester we always found time to enjoy the still warm weather and spend most of our free time outside. Usually our choice was the beach for the afternoons as even though it was packed until noon, the tourists never stayed for long. We usually arrived in the late afternoon and stayed well after the sun went down, and the temperature went down a little finally. The water usually stayed comfortable until later in the evening making it bearable for almost a whole 24 hours if you weren’t squeamish. Even if you were after spending a few weeks at the beach, everyone got used to it.

As soon as everyone finished with their lectures we got our things together and took the 5 minutes walk down to the beach. We had a favourite spot which was luckily never taken when we got down there. For a few minutes we just sat down, talking about our weeks. I shared a dorm room with two other girls, but we had a few friends who had their own apartments or lived with their family a bit farther away from our university. We usually had one or two days every week to catch up with them as in between lectures we were either too tired or didn’t have the time to do so. But most of the afternoons were ours fully and we used it the best we could to relax but still use that time to make memories for the few years we’re spending together. We could say it’s gonna stay the same after we graduate but everyone knew we would move to different countries as soon as we weren’t connected to Australia. Even I planned to go home, although I enjoyed living here and getting to be independent without my family behind my back.

“ Are you coming? ” One of the girls asked me, as they were already walking down to the water, while I was still standing around our towels with my phone in my hand. I was in the middle debating which sunset photo I should post from my gallery, but her voice made me look up.

“ Just a second. I’ll catch up. ” I smiled at her before looking back down at my screen. In the end my finger finally tapped the posting button and I pushed it aside while I got the sundress off that was on over my bikini.

Right before I would have ran after the girls, the device was back in my hands so I could check that the picture uploaded without a problem. A smile got on my face when I saw a reaction from one of my family members but as soon as it showed the whole list of the people who looked at my story, it faded away. For the past few months whenever I posted something he was always there in the first few seconds or at least minutes. I couldn’t understand what changed that he showed up in my life again, but I didn't really want to give him space in my thoughts either. It has been almost 4 years since we last talked and could call each other best friends, but I wasn’t about to take the first step and message him after he forgot about me until now. I just dropped my phone back into my bag, closing it and then caught up with my friends so they could make me forget about him again.

We spent quite some time in the water, swimming a few laps back and forth before just standing around and enjoying the last rays of sunshine while we chatted away. My thoughts were already in a different direction thanks to all the different topics that came up between us. Sometimes it was harder to make me forget time and time again, but turns out today I only needed some distraction and everything was set for an enjoyable night. With the sun completely off the sky the temperature dropped quickly and it was getting a bit chilly  for my liking in just a few minutes. When it was truly uncomfortable I gave up and walked back to the shore, sitting down on my own blanket and draping my towel around my shoulders. It immediately brought enough warmth over my body that I stopped shivering and could wait for them until they would get cold too. Until then I just went onto my phone to go through some posts of my friends. Sometimes I looked up to check on them just so they wouldn’t leave me out of something. One of those times I saw a person coming my way and although I didn’t mind too much attention to it, when he continued and there was no one else in my close proximity I felt like he might be coming to me. In the end I was right as he turned right towards me and then stopped just a few steps away from our blankets.

“ Never thought you would exchange our lovely and perfect red stars for ugly white ones. ” He spoke up and I could recognise the voice even though his face was almost unseeable thanks to him standing with his back towards the moon. My jaw dropped immediately and I felt like I grew roots into the ground as I couldn’t move my body. “ If you want me to fuck off, just tell me. It’s okay. I just thought we could maybe talk, and from the pictures I saw that you’re here. Hoped you didn’t go home yet so I could catch you and... ” He started rambling but I was quick to finally push myself up and hug him immediately. I always imagined our reunion with me being angry at him, but somehow I couldn’t get myself to feel that way now that he was standing right in front of me.

“ You idiot. ” I told him not leaving any space for questions and I could feel as he finally relaxed and hugged me back. “ The biggest in the whole world. ” I added with a sigh, closing my eyes as my brain started functioning again and I had an urge to kick his shin at least.

“ I can live with that. ” Marcus let out a laugh and I could feel as my heart jumped a little at the sound. It was something that always reminded me of our home and spending every possible second together. “ I’m sorry for disappearing. ” He let out a sigh, letting go of me only when we realised my wet bathing suit soaked his shirt, although even he didn’t care about it for too long.

“ What are you doing here? I thought F2 wasn't coming here. ” I asked him confused, knowing that we wouldn’t be in this situation if he traveled here for one of the races in the past two years. “ Not like I’m complaining, but I can hardly believe my own eyes and senses. ” I shook my head a little before looking up at him again. He changed, quite a bit since we last met and even though I saw pictures of him it was different in a face-to-face situation.

“ Ferrari invited a few of us so we could gather some experience. The speed I accepted the offer with might have raised some eyebrows. ” Marcus hid his face in his palm, making me chuckle as I could see the situation unfold in front of my eyes like I was there. “ Thought I would DM you and ask if you wanted to meet up maybe. But I realized it would be better offline. ” I had to roll my eyes at his first idea although I knew he wasn’t lying and it for sure went through his brain as a real possibility.

“ You’re lucky you didn’t. I would have blocked you forever I think. My plan was connecting my fist with your face if we ever meet again, right until you showed up here. ” I shook my head with a smile, as I wasn’t proud of what I wanted to do to him. “ I was really angry when you just stopped talking to me. I tried so hard to reach you, but it felt like you didn’t even exist anymore even though they were talking about you almost every week. ” I sighed, sitting back down and leaving enough space for him too.

“ Would have been deserved actually. ” His fingers scratched at the nape of his neck and I could see the tint of purple traveling up his neck. I watched him as he sat down, pulling his legs up and resting his arms onto them. “ I really am sorry. For a part everything got busy with all the training, races and studying, but at the same time I know damn well a message here and there should have been possible. I messed up, everything. ” His eyes shined even in the minimal light of the moon, and I could get myself to look away. Even feeling the burning stares on my back from my friends didn’t get me to turn around.

“ I won’t say that it’s okay, but I accept your apology. How could I not. ” I let out a breath that I realized was still stuck in me since the initial surprise took over my body. “ It feels like we didn’t even skip over like 3 years of each other’s life. Only difference is that you’re finally taller than me, but the baby face’s still there. ” My hand went up to his cheek to pat it gently like my grandma did for him all the time when he came over for lunch. He always hated it but knew that it was a gesture of love from her and a way to show Marcus that she considered him part of our family.

“ Yeah, I guess it’s going to stay forever. ” Marcus huffed, moving his head back a little to avoid my attack, although he failed miserably. “ I almost forgot, congrats for uni. I remember how hard you were studying to get in. Everyone home was ecstatic when I told them about it. ” His hand slapped his forehead, making me laugh with his expression at the slight stinging he caused himself.

“ Thank you, but it’s nothing compared to your second place last year. ” I shrugged a little but as soon as his lips pulled into a slight smirk my eyes rolled on their own. “ Surprise, surprise, I followed your career. Just as much as you followed my life for the past few months. ” I poked him in the ribs with my finger, making him wince for a second before we both started laughing at the little sound he made.

“ Fair. I still hate how Instagram shows who opened your stories. ” He shook his head a little and both of our heads turned towards the water when we realized the background chatting was getting closer and closer to where we were sitting. They were just a few meters away when my eyes landed on their figures and I sensed when Marcus stood up from next to me, making me push myself up too.

I didn’t feel too anxious about him meeting my other friends, although I knew what this meant for my evening at the dorm with them. They would have an immense amount of questions both about him and us, even though I already mentioned him when we were bringing up our past. A few of them even knew about my past feelings about him and how him reappearing on my socials played with my emotions, but they only saw a few photos of him. This was another level and I knew he would be the topic for at least the next week between us, for one reason or another. Depends on how we get on from this point and if we manage to keep in contact when they have to fly away again.

“ Oh, I knew it wasn’t just my imagination. I told you someone was coming here. ” My roommate spoke up as soon as they got close enough to make us out from the darkness. “ You’re Marcus, right? ” She stepped right in front of him, reaching her hand out while introducing herself. I always admired her boldness even in front of strangers.

“ Yes, although I didn’t know so many people knew me from here. ” Marcus let out an uneasy chuckle, looking at me a bit concerned. I just shook my head dismissively, almost telling him that it was just a ‘Girl group’ thing. Relief washed over me though that I didn’t share a lot about him, behind his back.

I watched from the sideline as everyone introduced themselves to him and for a second it felt domestic as all of them shot me a concerned glance towards me. It felt like they would pounce at him if they saw that I was uncomfortable in his presence. While it made me feel loved in a way, I also didn’t want them to really chip on the situation. It was something that better dealt with in private as I felt like we had to talk lots of things through to get back to the friendship we left behind years ago. This wasn’t the setting for a conversation like that.

“ We should probably get home before it gets really late. School won’t wait in the morning. ” I spoke up before any of them could start questioning him. We would never be able to get going then. “ Maybe we can catch up sometime before the race? I’m sure you will have enough to do during the weekend. ” I turned back towards Marcus who looked just as relieved as I did seconds ago.

“ Yeah, that would be better. Maybe lunch, or a coffee in the afternoon? Whenever you’re free of course. ” He nodded a little, still glancing at the girls who were either packing up or staring him down behind me.

“ I’m up for either of those. Surprise me. ” I grinned at him, feeling the pull on my arm when everyone was ready. “ Is your number the same? ” I asked him, already taking a step back, but waiting for his answers.

“ Yes. Never changed. ” Marcus nodded again, a little smile playing on his lips at the idea that we’re going to meet up again probably. At least I hoped so. Why else would he stalk me down and come up to me for a chat?

“ I’m gonna text you in the morning when’s my last lecture. We can meet up after that. ” I told them, before turning around with one last wave and catching up to my group. I could only hope that they would at least let me sleep before the questions start pouring out of them all at once.

[gretagerwigsmuse]

✨🎶⛔️🙋‍♀️🍦🎨💞🤩

okay first thank you for sending these (i never actually get responses when i do them so much appreciated), ANYWAY we're gonna cover a lot of ground here so....

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

oh god i hate giving myself compliments, but i'd have to say that i think i do a really good job with the little details? like i've been extensively researching where the banquet/party in the follow up to "even when we're wrong in every way..." is going to take place, to where the reader lives (also there are no dry bars in san diego??? a hate crime?? so now i have to think of an alternative)? and all this stuff that seems so fucking small and inconsequential in the long run, but actually makes it so much more enjoyable for me? i also think i write really natural dialogue, which stems from me reading the dialogue out loud like twenty times (and occasionally even 'blocking' out the scene, which sounds so fucking lame). also 'hates giving compliments' yet writes a fucking novel for this one my ass?

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

i'm almost always listening to music because i can't be alone with my thoughts and am one of those people with over 100k listening hours every year on my spotify wrapped. i've been writing a lot of the sequel to "even when we're wrong in every way..." and have made a playlist! pls follow my spotify, i'm shameless at making hyper-specific playlists for every possible feeling i have. and if i ever make a playlist about something, you know i'm all in

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

this made me laugh way too fucking hard - YES i literally have like 100k+ words of fics i've scrapped. most of them are just me running out of inspo or me not being super into the fandom anymore

🙋‍♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfic?

HA no this is hilarious because i literally tell everyone now and all my friends who are so much fucking cooler than me and know absolutely nothing about fandoms etc. LOVE it??? they call them stories tho, not fics which makes me sound so much more legit?? and last night i finally got them all the read "and even when we're wrong in every way..." and the gc was going through it...😉

🍦 What's the sweetest fic you've created so far?

ironically, i feel like my sweetest fic is also my saddest? it's dual pov and shows both of the characters over the course of the school year following their breakup at the end of a summer romance on the cape (total au, my fave). and just how one of them, cassandra, processes her feelings of inadequacy and being the ultimate 'mirrorball' girl, while the other, harry, works through all the trauma and grief associated with his dad passing away that fall and his subsequent slip into addiction and recovery, making him THE ultimate 'this is me trying' boy. and they finally finally work their way back to each other and are all the stronger for it? it's also my most personal work, i def cried through writing at least three of the chapters - don't get me started on the therapy chapter...😭

🎨 How do you feel about fan art of your stories?

so i've never had anyone make fan art, BUT one of my absolute BESTIES on twitter made an actual EDIT for one of my fics??? like it's unfucking real, i think about it FREQUENTLY

💞 Who's your comfort character?

oh god so this VARIES but i've consistently adored the version of harry bingham i've created in my fics and if you've ever watched the society you're probably like 'jordan he's the literal worst' AND YET i've fixed him and trust fund coke boy brown haired men with daddy issues are my kryptonite. i also go absolutely feral for kendall roy and now bradley bradshaw (i would love to write a fic of him going through therapy and processing his trauma one day)

🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?

similar to the above, i have to go with harry. i cannot express the hold that writing and exploring his character has on me? i think it stems with them absolutely dropping the ball with his character on the society and also with me identifying with some parts of his character? ALSO now i'm super attached to my smart aleck reader (as sol and i are dubbing her) from "even when we're wrong in every way..." like the sequel/follow up shows such a different side to both her and bradley and how they're working through their relationship six months later. i think one of the things i like most about her (and him to a larger extent) is that i have to show that she doesn't agree with - and even like - this rather large part of his identity and yet they still love each other and are absolutely crazy for each other?? it's been a really fun exercise. plus the smut is fun

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