#aromantic discourse

[certified-moth]

the most common trait i see in aro/ace exclusionists is the fact that they treat aspec identities as neutral. like any other part of someones identity immediately wins out. if an aro person is sexually attracted to men, that attraction is the determining factor in if they are queer. theres just a total refusal to imagine that aromantic and asexual experiences are a major determining factor in the way we experience life

i think it just goes to show how little some people are willing to engage with a variety of aro and ace people and understand how they experience the world. lack of attraction is not neutral, our entire world is shaped around romantic and sexual attraction and relationships. i think a lot of them would genuinely be surprised at how similar gay and aspec experiences can be if they were willing to actually listen to us

[homerjacksons]

Why do you only write romance and ship fics if you’re aroace

Bc being aroace doesn’t stop me being a sappy little romantic fool???

[nrhodact]

Reminder To Block Aphobes! Do not engage! They Invade Notes And Reblogs To Cause Harm Not To Educate Themselves!!!!

[cloudboundcritters]

"we need more weird queers!!"

you start parroting TERF talking points the milisecond someone says they are a lesboy or gaygirl

you cry when mspec lesbians/gays exist

you refuse to use neopronouns or it/its, even when those are a persons only set of pronouns

you expect a-specs to experience attraction in some way (yes, that includes platonic attraction)

you exclude intersex people

you can't even accept furries.

[kiwimuichiro]

"Aros aren't queer-" GUILLOTINE GUILLOTINE GUILLOTINE GUILLOTINE GUILLOTINE GUILLOTINE GUILLOTINE GUILLOTINE

[kazbrekkerfast]

shoutout to the aromantics who don't feel love at all. shoutout to the aromantics who feel love deeply but not in the way society wants us to. shoutout to the aromantics who are repulsed by romance. shoutout to the aromantics who are romance positive. shoutout to aromantics who have conflicting feeling about romance. shoutout to aromantics that are neutral about romance. shoutout to aromantics in qprs. shoutout to aromantics who aren't in qprs. shoutout to aromantics who are also asexual or aspec. shoutout to aromantics who are allosexual. shoutout to aromantics with conflicting identities. shoutout to aromantics who are questioning. shoutout to aromantics who are in relationships. shoutout to aromantics who are happy not in a relationship.

shoutout to every aromantic person reading this because you are valid and a welcome part of the queer community no matter who you are or what you identify as. you are so loved and appreciated <33

[solfinite]

extra doodles below

[xxbl00dsh3dbunnyxx]

I WANT THE LGBT COMMUNITY TO JUST STOP FIGHTING

WE ARE NOT AGAINST EACHOTHER, WE ARE NOT ENEMIES NO MATTER HOW YOU IDENTIFY

TRANS PEOPLE ARE NOT YOUR ENEMY, INTERSEX PEOPLE ARE NOT YOUR ENEMY, BISEXUALS ARE NOT YOUR ENEMY, LESBIANS ARE NOT YOUR ENEMY, ASEXUALS ARE NOT YOUR ENEMY, AROMANTICS ARE NOT YOUR ENEMY, ETC

TERFS ARE YOUR ENEMY, TRANSPHOBES ARE YOUR ENEMY, HOMOPHOBES ARE YOUR ENEMY, ACEPHOBES ARE YOUR ENEMY, AROPHOBES ARE YOUR ENEMY, ETC

STOP PUSHING AT EACHOTHER, START PUSHING FOR EACHOTHER, ANY HATE TOWARDS ANY GROUP OF US IS HATE TOWARDS ALL OF US

TRANS PEOPLE BEING ATTACKED IS AN ATTACK ON ALL OF US, INTERSEX PEOPLE BEING ATTACKED IS AN ATTACK ON ALL OF US, BISEXUALS BEING ATTACKED IS AN ATTACK ON ALL OF US, LESBIANS BEING ATTACKED IS AN ATTACK ON ALL OF US, ASEXUALS BEING ATTACKED IS AN ATTACK ON ALL OF US, AROMANTICS BEING ATTACKED IS AN ATTACK ON ALL OF US, ETC

THERE ARE NO "GOOD" QUEERS IN THEIR EYES, AS LONG AS YOU ARE QUEER YOU WILL BE A TARGET

DISCRIMINATION IS DISCRIMINATION, DOESN'T MATTER IF IT'S A PHYSICAL ATTACK, MEDICAL DISCRIMINATION, GOVERNMENTAL, ALL OF IT

STOP TRYING TO ATTACK EACHOTHER, WE ARE ALL EQUAL

[acelacealex]

I'm going to say it again

Cis Heteromantic Asexuals are Queer.

Cis Aromantic Heterosexuals are Queer.

If you are Ace or Aro you do not need another signifier to be Queer full stop.

[certified-moth]

Do you think people think "woman" is a neutral identify if they only think her lesbianism makes her queer and not her womannesss?

Like, uh, yeah, dumb ass, queer identities are only based in queerness. If you are not attracted to the same gender or trans, your identities are not queer. They do not impact your role in the LGBT community. A straight man who is cis but does not feel sexual desire is not queer. A cis straight kinky man isn't queer either. There's no identity identity you can give a cisgender, straight person or cisgender aroace person that would make them LGBT.

i think youre misinterpreting what i said. i dont think smth that doesnt contribute to someones queerness is neutral. i wasnt implying any part of anyones identity is neutral, i was noting that the treatment of aro and ace identities as neutral is a common belief in exclusionists. by that i mean that they are ignored as a factor impacting the lives of an individual. they are treated as having no meaningful impact on the persons sexuality, and that the only impact comes from the attraction present.

youre trying to define an example of queerness that i just dont agree with. the idea that same sex attraction is necessary is just kinda an arbitrary rule you believe in. I would personally say that the main connecting factor of the LGBT community is the way our identities have shaped the way we experience the world in comparison to cishet people.

i do actually think a heteroromantic asexual cis guy is LGBT if thats how he chooses to define his identity. Like i briefly mentioned in my post, our world is shaped around relationships. there are legal benefits to relationships. they are treated as a given expectation. to not experience sexual attraction greatly changes the way you experience relationships, as well as the way society treats you.

your entire argument just proves the point of my post. you view aromanticity and asexuality as inherently neutral, providing no experiences that could connect to queer experiences. You treat them as if they are just basically straight. but all the aro and/or ace people i have personally interacted with have far more in common experience-wise with queer experiences than they do with straight ones

(also i never brought up kink, i dont believe kink is inherently queer. im not sure but it kinda feels like you are conflating a sexual orientation and a sexual preference)

[anarcho-catboyism]

A lot of discourse could stop if y'all stopped approaching every situation with this idea that your experience is the default one

[theraccoonsinyourbackyard]

I TAKE YOUR SERIOUSLY. I WANT YOU IN OUR COMMUNITY. YOU'RE WELCOME HERE, WE LOVE YOU.

Being aromantic isn't like being colourblind because you "have a narrower human experience 😢" or "you see the world in black and white 💔" or whatever but being aromantic is exactly like being colourblind because most people don't even know what it is and most people who think they do have the complete wrong idea. Because our society is not designed for people like us but no "allies" take our issues seriously. Because I'm still not even sure if people want us in their communities. Because whenever you tell someone you know you're going to be asked the same stupid questions. Because people in fandom love to use you as a cool quirk to add to characters without respecting what it actually means. Because my life would be marginally better if everyone spent just 5 minutes reading about it on google. But hey it's not all negative you also get a unique outlook on life and an appreciation for beauty outside the norm.

Signed, a colourblind aro

[artemx746]

“Other people have it worse—“ there are also other people who have it better and I’m sure those other people would meet both our stories with concern. Think about that before you say I need to be oppressed more to be valid

[daybringersol]

gotta be honest, i hate the whole oppression contest between romance-favorable and romance-averse aromantics that’s going on right now. both of those groups are pressured to act like the other. you know why? because people just don’t like us being aromantic. that’s it. nobody’s more privileged than the other, at least not in this context.

if you’re alright with being in relationships, then you’re told you’re not really aromantic. the goal is to make you doubt you’re aromantic.

if you don’t want to be in relationships, then you’re told that aromantics can date, so you should! the goal is to make you more palatable, to make you romance-favorable so then, they can gaslight you into thinking you’re not actually aromantic. or they just straight up call you heartless (shoutout heartless aros, love you guys <2) and/or inhuman, but thats just their true colors showing. they think that of all aros.

and the aromantic people who says shit like that? they’re trying to throw the group they’re not part of under the bus to make themselves either more palatable or less ‘confusing’. they’re scared.

nobody’s winning here. let’s all just shut the fuck up for a second and recognize that these people just don’t want us to be aromantic. that’s it. doesn’t matter if you’re romance-averse, romance-favorable or anything else. they just want us to conform. and if you’re accusing the other side of being responsible for your oppression, you’re playing right into their game.

[styrofauxm]

look. i'm sorry. really sorry for not just letting this die. but it bugs me. so suffer i guess.

If I saw a canonically trans character and said "well I prefer to write them as cis" people would be pissed at me, for good reason.

If I saw a canonical trans woman/man character and wrote them as a demigirl/boy and said "while the show just says she/he's trans, not that she/he's a trans woman/man" people would be pissed at me, also for good reason.

If a character was directly implied to be trans, and the creator confirmed later that they were meant to be trans, and I went "well it wasn't said explicitly in the show so it's not canon," people would be pissed at me, for good reason.

If the majority of a fandom did those things, we could collectively agree that the fandom is really transphobic.

You can sub this out for any queer identity with mainstream representation, and probably non-queer identities too.

So why is it considered acceptable to do these things to aspec characters?

Why are ships contrary to aspec identities the only ships against a character's canon queer identity that get popular?

Why are aspec people the only ones that get consistent ship discourse over our real identities?

Why are aspec people the only ones asked to sit back and take it?

Why is it on aspec people to not ruin allo people's fun in fandom, but allo people are allowed to ruin ours?

(The answer to all of the above is: aspec identities are viewed by other queer people as functionally straight and are treated as such)

[mossy-aro]

tbh as much as i do think it is worthwhile to discuss the topic of shipping aromantic/asexual characters and the nuances of it all (as well as the general attitude allos have towards aspecs in fandom spaces). it also makes me sigh equally because like... what characters. i'll be real guys we don't even have characters to discourse over. literally there are like 3 ever and none of those have fandoms anyway and the ones which do are like 'it was confirmed on twitter in a nebulously worded post by the creator'. its so bad out here